#I removed her to my bed
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why is one cat (W) sitting on my other cat (T) who was just peacefully sitting in the cat tree sleeping and SHE (W) is the one growling
like darling you're heavy as shit stop sitting on your friend
#cats#why#I removed her to my bed#yes this is a regular occurence#she WILL start fights with him and get mad#baby girl why
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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if i were smarter i would make a post about how a lot of dungeon meshi can serve as a metaphor for how important community is when living with a disability but im not smart so you’ll just have to take my word for it
#i’ve been thinking about it the whole time but the whole thing with characters desires being removed and so other people have to help them#with their basic needs really just reminded me of how my mum takes care of me when i can even get out of bed#and then there’s the way everyone came together to take care of falin#and the way izutsumi had to learn to let others look out for her and to look out for others in turn#i can’t wait for the rest of this to be animated#in the meantime i might start rereading it#or maybe read some of the authors other work#dungeon meshi
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THIS IS WHO HE IS AT HIS CORE: A MAN WHO GIVES OTHERS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. his heart has been warring between cold blue-gray hesitancy & the fervid desire to help. what could he have done? refuse his ex-friend a safe place to land, leave her to roam these streets, hunted by the very people who want her gone? the same streets where every corner breathes the decay of crime, where one wrong move could seal her fate? Dick is not stupid — he’d seen the headlines, the seedy rumors circulating her name, all twisted around the brutal killing of a corporate giant whose hands were no cleaner than her own. whether she did it or not, he isn’t one hundred percent sure. all he knows is that she cannot afford to be seen; the city is too eager to paint her guilty. in his apartment, she’s safe from prying eyes & suspicious glances.
what’s a little more danger when he’s already neck-deep in it? after all, Dick’s always had a knack for turning the tables, for finding a way to make the chaos work in his favor.
he returns home via the well-loved fire escape. it feels as though he is suspended in some disorienting dream until he presses down on his shoulder, where he feels the telltale throb of a bruise forming. he grounds himself in the reality of pain. frustration gnaws at him; unbidden, his thoughts has wandered during patrol, and that distraction has cost him. tonight’s rewards are sore muscles, stiff joints, and the odd bruise. lately, there’s another constant reminder of this new chapter: an extra toothbrush sits in the holder on his bathroom counter, right next to his own. a spare key is on the hook by the door, ready for hands that aren’t his. there’s even a row of notes, tacked to the fridge with mismatched magnets, reminders of his schedule scribbled hastily but left intentionally, each one proof that he’s not in this alone.
absentmindedly, he scratches the underside of Haley’s chin, the spoiled pup responding with eager nudges for more. ❛ You two had any fun while I was gone? ❜ he says, gaze fixed on Haley, but the question is meant more for Kira than the pup. Dick needs to know what clock he’s outrunning. ❛ I’ve got some good news and some... less-than-good news. ❜ he approaches her with the same restraint he uses for cornered animals. which, alright, fair approach, given their circumstances. but that’s not him. that’s not the person he wants to be. ❛ Which one do you want first? ❜
A STARTER FOR SHIROGANE KIRA * @wistrea
#MUSE: DICK GRAYSON * it’s always been about catching people when they fall.#wistrea#bro did not even remove his suit yet straight to business#his heart is compassionate enough to welcome her to his apartment and allow her to rest on his bed as he crashes out on the couch#but still shoutout to logic he treads extremely lightly & carefully to this entire thing#rumor has it that one of the notes pinned to the fridge has a small smiley face at the end#and it reads:#“I’ll be out from about 10 PM until late morning. Patrol stuff. I’m also going to try to gather some intel on the case.#I know you’re great at staying hidden but my advice? Don’t move. Just stay safe. That’s all I really want.”
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Day four of @amphibianaday's Amphibuary! I drew a momma gummy worm and her babies
And my mom drew this frog hopping out of a sandwich!
#i'm not super pleased with how the soft colored pencil covered up the line art on the blue half#but i think it still turned out really well!#my mom colored hers only because i thought the bread was a staple remover lol#to be fair i'm a bit tired#gonna go to bed soon
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Lost in the sauce
#She's eating pretty good for a cat with a jaw infection and all her teeth removed#and shes drinking well which is good nc she literally hadnt been before she went back to the vet#which was a worry#shes still being very quiet tho#hasnt even tried to go out once when she'd been yowling to get out otherwise#though thats good!!#she literally gets up eats a little drinks a lot and then maybe scratches her scratching post for a sec#and then she goes well that was swell but im going back to bed now and then she just jumps back into my bed and cuddles up#So idk#shes def not 100% back in action but after everything thata gone on i cant exactly blame her#and tbh im trying to keep myself in a realistic mindset- no deluding myself she'll be super healthy and live for 5 more yrs or somethin#shes an old cat that wasnt taken care of by the people who had her before#and shes got health issues#but shes so much better than she had been this time last week#and shes still my lil cuddly baby so I just have to be happy and accepting of that#So yeah lil Kitty cat update
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Doting physical touch is little more than a distant memory to the Fabricator. To Solaris, it's practically a stranger. How lucky it is, then, that the both of them have such a… 'close friend' they can trust to keep such an uncomfortable secret. And what's even luckier, the other is willing to help.
#ieytd#fabbylaris#the fabricator#commander solaris#not the first fabbylaris fic on ao3 but for sure the first fabbylaris fic where clothes are removed#its rated m because clothes are removed. there's no sex#can you call content nonsexual just because there's no sex?? idk#this is my first time ever writing something like this. but its 2024 the year of the yuri so i have to start writing yuri#this is kind of a vehicle for some of my failgirl solaris propaganda honestly. my soft butch solaris propaganda#ii know i made the spaceship bed post like this week but i lied its full of misinformation. i lied to you all sorry#she doesn't know what she's doing. SAD. fabby has to teach her everything she ever learned in college
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texture and makeup for the ask game :3
Texture: Does your OC favor any specific kinds of cloth or textures? Is there anything they can't wear or don't like? What sort of fabrics do they prefer?
Vanora generally wears and prefers light, airy fabrics that are good for hot, humid climates like on Elo. Linen and other plant based fibers especially. She might have something special from silk, but that's a BIG might, depending on what was available and if she was successful at saving up for it xD Probably something small though. She doesn't like anything too stiff or restrictive feeling, so she wouldn't like taffeta, and she's cranky about needing to wear boots and close toed shoes in the Empire xD She does like velvet though; she'll give the Empire that one.
Makeup: Does your OC wear makeup? How often? What kind? Why do they wear makeup, and do they like it?
Sometimes! She doesn't generally wear a full face of makeup, but she'll wear eyeliner or eye shadow on occasion and for fun. Often it's a basic black kohl, but she likes brightly colored ones if she can find them (especially pink). She thinks it's fun and cute, and she likes fun, cute things and also eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man. If she had it, she might wear a bit of blush or lip tint too, but that doesn't cross her mind often enough to bother with searching for it.
#ask games#vanora#she would make sure to remove her makeup before bed#because she is not a fan of the smudge slept in my eyeliner raccoon look xD#she's vain enough to think about that even on the road lol#i imagine her dad probably wears kohl on occasion and vanora picked it up from him#though 'you can't fight bad guys if you ain't cute' is not in his thought process xD#or maybe it is idk#her parents are still largely mysteries to me beyond being disgustingly in love#and very obvious and obnoxious about it#the rest of the party may be thinkng oh no did this npc sleep with my dad#and vanora's just there like has this npc met my parents and will i have to hear more about their exploits#because if so she's leaving xD she has heard too much already lmao
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Milo vs mental breakdown season (March into April) vs finishing a bojack rewatch AGAIN (like the third time in a row)
#milo-is-talking#I want to cry#and I have to pee but my brother just went into the bathroom#I have to change and then go pick up furniture with my mom cause she loves Facebook marketplace and I’m her muscle#but blahhhh I feel so blahhhhhhggghhhhhhh#also my fucking dog threw up on my new WHITE sheets and so I put them in the wash immediately with stain remover on it and I’m just praying#it fucking washes out and it will be dry by tonight cause I want them back on my bed
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Ok triple vaccine is kicking my ass. Now. I am.now grateful that I scheduled it with a day off after
#speculation nation#negative/#i will be real this is genuinely one of the worst pains of my life#but to.make matters worse. my period started :/ so im dealing with first day cramps of Those#i got only 4 hours of sleep bc despite taking a melatonin i just Could Not Fall Asleep#my feet and legs were so very cold that even 45 minutes under a hot pad still hadnt warmed them#it took hours before i felt like i could remove it. idk how long exactly id finally fallen asleep#but june wouldnt stop crying until eventually she came up to bed#and poor sweet girl did her normal thing of climbing on me. which is usually fine.#but she stepped on my arm and. hhhhhholy shit lmfao That had to be one of the worst pains of my life.#like a 7 or maybe even an 8. right now doijg nothing id say its a 5#i need to take ibuprofen but i need to get some food in me first#which. oh yeah. i got out of bed to try to eat a bit so i could take some ibuprofen. ended up lightheaded as fuck#had to sit down several times. until at one point i got hit with a spell so bad i was Convinced i was gonna throw up#sat beside the toilet with a cold sweat as i waited for the nausea to subside.#i was gonna have corn dogs for a small meal. they r in the microwave even. but rn i am.just gingerly sipping on an Ensure#with a plastic bag beside me lol. just in case. bc i dont fuck with nausea risks man i am.not puking on my floor.#eurgh why did my.body decide to make things worse for me.... this Sucks#emetophobia/
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#we had to put my dog down tonight and my chest hurts so bad ohhhhh my god#ok not really looking to get into it but i just need to type it out....and then post it on my tumblr#i dont know#its just so hard because you know she was fifteen and having bowel issues and her muscles were weak etc#but she was also still with it and playful and she was still trying to run around the yard tonight#and it doesnt even feel like she's really gone like it feels like i should wake up tomorrow and she'll be back in her bed#and she had a mass on her paw that had come back again after it had been removed before so i know it would have only been a matter of time#but a part of me just feels so torn like she could have still lived longer#i dont know sorry this is a lot for a monday evening i am just having a moment#and also i am incredibly weird about death
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i can't get clear pictures of victoria w her eyes open bc she has two modes KILLING AND VIOLENCE and snooooork mimimimi
#she's a sweet cat she's just a homicidal maniac#rn she is huddled next to me on the bed facing the doorway to be ready for all possible threats#but when she conks out she gives zero fucks abt anything#she'll snuggle up on me or next to me and it's lights out#apparently she only recently became adoptable according to the woman i got her from#like she just decided one day that she liked people after all#i miss lily every single day but i'm also happy we happened to be in the right place + time to take victoria#she was so sick and scared and hid in the corner of my closet when we brought her home#but the first night she came up on the bed and laid a careful distance away from me...#and once she had her bad teeth removed and the ear mites exterminated she was like a brand new kitty cat#there was no adoption fee bc it wasn't an official adoption but i think her previous owner knew she needed care that she couldn't afford#i felt really guilty abt the vet bills for a cat i picked out but my dad adores her and tells me all the time he's happy we took her home#i just wish i could get better pics bc she's so cute!!! lily would pose for me all the time but victoria wants to eat my phone fkjhgfdjh
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spectacular
#love irl gay people#today i learned that a friend of mine has been in her own journey of bisexuality#that was really wonderful to learn#i am drunk but don’t worry it’s ok#bc i was safe and i got home just fine and was surrounded by friends and i even drank lots of water and brushed my teeth#and removed my makeup#all is well truly#but i am a little bit hungry#oh well#i’m gonna say that i’m not actually hungry and that it’s just the alcohol talking#that makes things easier in the long run LOL#ok good night it is bed time#anya.txt
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just finished the rwrb movie. i feel like i've been lobotmised. jesus christ
#guess me and bea are matching then since she was also missing her entire brain and personality#my dash appears to be enjoying this film and i don't wanna piss on all of your parades so im just gonna go.#somewhere else#something something the first book i read after the death of my father that understood where i was coming from written by casey shortly#after the death of their own#and the movie adaptation that cared absolutely zero percent about that aspect of the novel#the shredding of the women and the removal of henry's grief + depression. those are the two things i just. cannot get over actually#ooft okay it's just a film it's whatever i still have the book. im going to bed.#iona.txt#not gonna tag that cause im not a moron i don't want yelling down
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Welp, I foolishly thought maybe I was safe but I got the dreadful new dashboard forced on me.
I was gonna do a new batch of art drafts to drip feed you all today, but I can just barely stand to look at this place long enough to make this post. Xkit preserved my Old Blue at least, or I wouldn't even be able to manage this.
it's all so squished and crowded and awful to look at. I don't have the energy for this mess or finding a new place. Urgh.
#new dashboard#tumblr shitting the bed#and then just rolling over#yes I did send two surveys and a feedback report#I get to curse at them a bit here where I don't gotta be professional#this feels like the social media site equivalent of Judith the cheap shitty Barbie knockoff I am forced to sell#these dolls are just visibly and blatantly cheaper and worse#one specific one is a yoga version whose feet will drop off the second you try to remove her shoes#not best pleased to have this shoved down my throat when I clicked back to the tab after briefly looking elsewhere#guess I'm gonna get some time freed up when I actively hate looking at this place
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remember rewatching the part in strikers a couple years ago in which nanoha goes to save vivio, her adopted daughter, who is a girl of FIVE forced to become a magical super weapon no longer in control of her body and nanoha has to beam her so incredibly powerfully that nanoha becomes permanently disabled to a small degree and nanoha KNEW of that risk (could easily have been worse) and i was literally CRYING even with completely forgotten context because SOMEHOW this is just this series’ specialty where the most emotional moment is when Nanoha pulls it ALL OUT to stop somebody and in doing so saving them andhere it is extra powerful because vivio is calling out for nanoha to save her and nanoha can only do that by hurting her
SHES FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#im gonna rewatch that now#also thepart where nanoha is CRYING because vivio was kidnapped and Fate comforts her on the roof#just - this anime got it - dont do stupid fanservice high school SHIT#get out the whips! the child abuse! the clone experiments!!! the ancient weaponry that takes over your body and mind!#makes people into weapons against their will!#get out the kids fighting desperately!! the self-sacrifice!!! the fucking tragedy!!! the love!!!!#get yourself some cool fucking ai sci fi weapons get yourself actually good fucking action with sky high stakes get yourself characters tha#man#but really - dont watch nanoha lol#i just wish gundam had followed up on its promise...........#my stuff#personal#GOD I JUST REWATCHED THE CLIP WHERE NANOHA FINDS FATE AND VIVIO IN HER BED AND GOES TO GET UP AND VIVIO IS UPSET IN HER SLEEP THAT SHES NOT#THERE SO SHE PICKS HER UP AND PUTS HER NEXT TO FATE AND THEY INSTANTLY CUDDLE AND NANOHA IS LIKE :O :D#shut uppppp#and the one where vivio falls which was removed from youtube -_- but i found it and nanoha is like no you can get up yourself and then fate#in her adorable soft voice and military black shirts is like No you can't nanoha she's too small!!!! and goes to pick her up and hug her an#Nanoha is like Fate-mama you're spoiling her and Fate is like Nanoha-mama is just too strict#MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!#this is WHAT#20 years old?????#ok#im calm let me look at the devastating scene
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