#I recommend you get this skin because by doing so the game also rewards you maskless Sub-Zero
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౨ৎ ⋆。• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair
don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!
don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc
if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products
i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!
now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡
i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without
also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓
don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute
airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body
DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)
using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3
exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now
partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.
make sure you're eating properly. remember that 1400 to 2400 calories of nutritious substance is the MINIMUM. this of course depends on many variables including, weight, height, BMR, what it is your eating, et cetera. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected !!! ♡ (💭🎀edit: updated info on calories and nutrition from a lovely anon i received a message from this morning! ♡)
change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!
i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good
dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face
skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.
on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!
never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good
stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder
make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)
pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖
cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)
hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)
i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend
i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me
i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡
#girlblogging#had this in my drafts for a while and in honour of my beloved everything shower i decided to finish it#+ im obsessed with vogue beauty secrets atm so. um#it girlism ୨𖹭୧#glow up#wonyoungism#it girl#pink pilates princess#self care#self growth#self concept#it girl energy#that girl#becoming that girl#becoming her#beauty#fashion#vogue#vogue beauty secrets#loa blog#loassumption#loa tumblr#law of assumption#self image#self improvement#self love
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Y'know, I've decided that I'm not happy giving them a slap on the wrist.
Fortnite wants to spread out the xp for players to earn over time, so that they are forced to play more often, that's up to them, but they're going to be sorry.
In a game where they've curated players to be rewarded for their play time, it does not do to suddenly reduce the amount or the rate of rewards we get.
They were already lifelong customers, there was no fear of losing their base (or their Crew subscription) whether or not they complete all their tasks and reach level 200 a week or a month out from the end of the season. We're basically giving our money away to them at this point (especially if they release more furry skins please keep doing that, Epic).
But some of us do have jobs, have to go to school, spend more time outside of the computer or console than we'd like to give. Having the time to not have to turn on the game just to play the game all the time is for anybody else a human consideration.
I get this is Corporate America, but Epic has not been the kind of company to deliberately alienate their base.
Turning off the daily cap and making it weekly will have the opposite effect intended of making players play more often to earn experience to progress through the battle pass, and in fact, will make weekend warriors worried that they will not be able to progress through the battlepass if they suddenly notice they're not earning any more.
It's also severely punishing your most devoted players, people who spend the first 72 hours (and I'm deliberately ignoring xp farm maps here) playing the hell out of battle royale, reload, and Lego Fortnite, and that's not to mention Creative mode to begin with.
I'm also not really sure why they decided to nerf Save the World. I get that it's leftover from previous iterations of Fortnite, but I still quite enjoyed myself when I did play, and I loved earning battlepass exp while playing through the story, which I recommend wholeheartedly if you're a newcomer to Fortnite. Not having to earn xp halfway through the week because you reached the weekly cap entirely destroys the vibe.
People who are halfway invested will start playing the game less, and you're alienating and punishing your most passionate players, forcing them to leave earlier than they want to.
I know you need to find a new system to make up for the new changes to Fortnite Crew, but this isn't it Epic.
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An incomprehensive list of games I played/tried this year
Dragon Age Veilguard: Like a 6.5/10 rpg and a 3/10 Dragon Age imo. I like most of the character creator even if I personally think the way it handles non skin tone coloring is AWFUL. Explain to me why we had to downgrade from the DAI color wheel. I found the combat to be perfectly enjoyable even if boss fights desperately need more then 4 moves.
Wayfinder: This game deserved so much better but what we got is like a 7/10 if you aren't picky about the story. I give the story a larger pass than I should because it's one of those games that got turned into a live service due to publisher pressure and then went single player. Combat is like if you upgraded VG's combat. Better systems for dodging, parrying, and blocking and a better idea of how to do weapon abilities. Similar pain point of "there is a correct way to build for each specialization/character/weapon that limits you more than it should" tho.
Fields of Mystria (WIP): Imo it's an upgrade from SDV so far. The systems in place feel more thought out and cohesive and characters are both more fleshed out and more active. I really enjoy it as far as SDV-like farm sims go. Art style is fantastic AND there's the possibility that you can romance the dragon god. Also hot slightly older doctor lady you can romance (go, my sapphics).
Outer Wilds: Tried it, didn't vibe with it. Might just watch a playthrough to see how it feels that way. Something about the actual playing it just didn't vibe with me for some reason.
Horizon Forbidden West: Didn't get through a lot of it but I've always been a fan of this series. I know it has some of the open world pain points of every modern open world but whatever. Robot dinosaurs.
Celeste: Lovely game, genuinely. I think I would've hated playing it cause it seems like a high skill platformer that would've just pissed me the fuck off BUT I'm glad I watched it. It was cozy and sentimental and while it didn't speak to me emotionally I see why it would for a lot of people. Can't recommend the Farewell DLC tho. It hurt my eyes and, minus the trans easter egg at the end, added so little to the story to me.
Dawn Chorus (WIP): Free furry vn. Altered my brain chemistry. Explores ideas of how people will seek companionship, if real connection between people is possible, and how making certain decisions alters both your own perception of you and others perceptions of you. Encourages you to try all routes cause some things about characters are only revealed in their routes or in *others* routes. NSFW can be mostly turned off and it handles some more...questionable topics pretty well imo. You really get to feel like a 19 year old college student idiot who can make good and bad decisions.
Dragon's Dogma 2: Ok so. I fuckin hated this game. Just. 2/10 download the free character creator to see why the tattoos in VG suck shit. Never had a form of magic combat that felt like it didn't want you to have fun quite like this game.
Monster Hunter Rise: I tried so hard to like this game, I really did. The story being nothingburger combined with the repetitive loop caused me to check out pretty quick. Weapon ideas are all pretty cool tho. I see why people enjoy this series so much.
Granblue Fantasy Relink: Surprisingly fun????? I really like how this game handled skills, skill building, and basic attack/heavy attack combos. There were definitely things that threw balance off (it turns out when one thing is entirely dedicated to letting you do more damage that's going to be prioritized) and the story is a pretty basic fantasy anime plot BUT. There's quite a bit to enjoy if you just really like combat that rewards knowing how bosses work (don't ask why this worked for me and MHR didn't cause idk).
What games did I even play this year
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Unpopular opinion
I never thought that Ronda Rousey wasn’t that bad voicing Sonya Blade in Mortal Kombat 11. I mean, it’s not great but it isn’t that bad either. It didn’t bother me that much unlike most people.
Side note: Now that the Dimitri Vegas skin is out, his voice acting makes Ronda Rousey’s sound ‘Oscar‘ worthy. But I got the impression that Dimitri wasn’t trying to be so serious with the voicing acting but more like just joking around and having fun. It’s only for a free skin and nothing more.
#ooc#Oh one more thing#I recommend you get this skin because by doing so the game also rewards you maskless Sub-Zero#If you're trying to get the unmasked option like forever... This should help#You're welcome
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You read every gojohime fic???? That's amazing!!! What are your favourites?
hello anonie! i guess i can say i’ve read at least a good 80% of all the fics, at least. probably. most likely because the fic tag at the start of the year was tiny and now the community’s grown so much there’s almost 600 of them. that’s insane to me. like hello?
i have a lotta fics that come to mind, that i should honestly make a master post on because i love them all. so here are a few many that came to mind immediately as i typed this up.
gojohime fic recommendations!
multichapter
limitations by ohmytheon
“Parenthood chooses you," her mother used to tell her, but Utahime never understood that saying more than the moment she realized she was pregnant with Gojo Satoru's child. They were never meant to be something serious - never meant to be more than they were - and yet they both suddenly find themselves in a world that doesn't care about their desires - and that brings them closer in a way that no one else can understand. It won't be easy and it won't be kind to either of them, but it appears as if the universe has other plans for them
no one is what they were before by ohmytheon
The world broke when Gojo Satoru turned on jujutsu society. It's not the hopeful place it was before, but Utahime has never been one to give up. Until she's placed in a dangerous position directly in his path, and she finds herself trapped in a web that doesn't seem intent on ever letting her go.
and touch me like you never by ohmytheon
In public, Gojo is a special grade bastard, especially to Utahime, and has been all their lives. He knows exactly what insults to throw and what buttons to push to drive her up a wall. In private, however, he's got quite a few other things to tell and show her, which only makes things more confusing. It would be easier if she could avoid him entirely, but for some reason, he won't let her go entirely.
gravity by aerfei
This is Utahime, fierce and indomitable, and this is Satoru, who despite holding the world’s regard, still craves something that Utahime has had all her life. Coming together is sometimes an act of desperation, and sometimes a deliberate choice. Or: An Iori Utahime character study, through the lens of her relationship with Gojo Satoru, starting from the beginning and ending at the Goodwill Event arc. Manga spoilers and (at least 95%) canon-compliant through (at least) chapter 135.
count every single leaf in autumn by florieneofthesea
“I told my family we’re dating.” Utahime’s hand hovers over the door. “What?!” (or: Gojo tells his family that he's dating Utahime to get them off his back, so of course they invite her to the dreaded family dinner™)
favourite colour by otherthingsonhold
At 28, Satoru Gojo's responsibilities only start to multiply. With his clan looking to him to lead the family, and the balance of the universe in his hands, Gojo isn't thinking of much else. But when his mother brings something to his attention, the only thing Gojo can do is follow through. But how is Utahime Iori part of all of this?
gojo catoru by ashittywriter
Utahime is tasked to catsit a suspiciously large Persian dollface cat with pristine white hair, the most boop-able nose, and to top it off the cutest cerulean eyes. Too bad the cat also happens to be her idiotic colleague Gojo Satoru.
at the tail-end of spring by florieneofthesea
Utahime doesn't expect to remember her ex's number off by heart but it comes in handy when she's a little less than sober outside a club in a city she's not familiar with and her battery on three percent. She just wishes things turned out differently for them. (Or, post-break up exploration where outer forces refuse to let them have their happy ending.)
a second chance by onewordmore
In another world, it wasn't Geto who sneered down at humanity, regarding them to be worthless monkeys that deserved to die. In another world, it wasn't Geto who openly defied the Jujutsu Council and brought down terror and fear to all. In another world, it wasn't just Amanai Riko who died that day, amidst the cheers and delighted cries of the insane. And Utahime was going to learn, first hand, the consequences of her own death.
from you to me by onewordmore
A drabble series regarding Gojo and Utahime. From fluff to smut to angst to love. This is going to have it all.
oneshots
oceansize by aerfei
The marriage is arranged by their families, small clans both, with all their hopes and traditions laid gently upon the shoulders of their only heirs -- and yet, this distance is impassable.
under the cover of darkness by ohmytheon
It takes a little alcohol, early morning hours, and a game of truth or dare for Gojo and Utahime to admit some difficult truths to each other.
risk/reward by ohmytheon
No punishment had ever been more effective in making Gojo do his actual job than receiving praise from his secretary - or more grueling than when Utahime withheld it.
like a good roommate by ohmytheon
Utahime has a problem: her bed wasn't delivered to the new apartment. Her ridiculous roommate, Gojo, has a solution - but he's kind of panicking on the inside.
aware of us by halspur
“We did alright, didn’t we?” Gojo put his phone down after taking several dozen photos of Tsumiki walking across the stage, his eyes soft. “I mean, we were just kids, too.”
love song by halspur
“Because you’re weak.” Gojo said, muffled into the thin skin of her throat. “I can’t leave you alone.”
tear you apart by halspur
“I don’t want to be mean to you,” Utahime’s cheek was pressed into his spine, her voice muffled. “I like you.”
cuddles are for clean boyfriends by just_trying_my_best_everyday
Utahime finds Gojo Satoru sitting right behind the door, blindfold hanging on his neck, completely soaked in blood and petting her cat with both hands. And he stinks.
honey by florieneofthesea
Gojo Satoru experiences love a decade before he fully realises it.
roots by florieneofthesea
At the start of winter, Utahime starts to cough up blood. She thinks maybe its just the lingering damage from her last mission, but the coughing persists and it starts to scratch her throat, and itch at her lungs and when she finally makes the trip to Tokyo to ask Shoko for her help, she doesn't even get the first word out. Shoko welcomes her at the entrance to Tokyo Metropolitan Technical School and Utahime hacks up a single, pale blue petal, smattered with blood. She stares down at the flora on the ground and wonders if she's been cursed. Utahime looks up, and Shoko's eyes are wide.
to have and to hold by ashittywriter
“M’sorry," Gojo said his voice slurring at the end. "But please go away, I have a girlfriend." Utahime blinked in confusion. What the fuck?
souvenir by PrettyKittyLuvsU
“Aha!” Gojo tugged something out of his pocket, his long fingers curled around it as he held his hand behind his back. His other hand waved before him, a cheeky grin splitting his lips. “Ora, ora! Hold out your hand.” Utahime stared flatly. “Ora, ora!” Gojo persisted, continuing to wave his hand as he grinned. “Hold out your hand already!” Utahime scowled at the hand swaying infront of her face. She had half a mind to slap the man instead, but her students were closely watching. Even Gojo’s students, the second years mainly—for Sukuna’s vessel was apologizing profusely as the brown haired girl continued kicking him while the quiet one made no effort to stop her— looked in fascination at whatever ridiculous souvenir Gojo wanted to hand her. Utahime slowly lifted her arm, already planning on throwing the thing back in Gojo’s annoying face. Gojo gets Utahime a very special kind of souvenir. Set during the start of the Goodwill arc.
dayum this exposes me huh? i do be reading a lot but what can i say i love to see it. all these fics are amazing, to the writers y’all are doing fantastically like my goodness you be really putting ya girl in a loop with some of these fics with your plot-lines and doing it flawlessly. can’t thank them enough for them, their hard work and time!
be sure to show the writers some love and support with comments, bookmarks and fight that dayum kudos button when it smiles at you because lemme leave more—
i think they’d really really appreciate it when they hear the bing and be sure to check out all of their stories including the ones in the pairing tag! happy readings 😙✨
#there’s so much more. i gotta make a master post but yeah send your love to the writers#they’re amazing and deserve all the love and support#🤍💫✨#gojohime#fic rec#anon#asks#replies#nitatalks
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anon said. how about fluffy hcs with xiao, zhongli and xingqui taking their s/o out on a first date?
XIAO.
he already finds it difficult just to ask you to hold him without losing his cool, so how can he possibly bring up the idea of inviting you on a date? actually, he probably never knew the word ‘date’ even existed until he heard a passing couple staying over at wangshu inn dreamily talking about how they wish they could go to see the lantern rite festival in liyue harbor together for their first date. a first date, huh? now that he thinks about it, xiao never did properly try to court you, did he? it was always you who approached him first, who held your hand out to him, who confessed that you love him. you’re already giving so much dedication in this relationship. it’s the least he can do to return your affections, not just because he’s feeling a bit indebted, but because he’s your lover. unfortunately, being the awkward yaksha that he is, xiao overthinks the situation and complicates it more than he should.
every chance he gets is blown up by his anxiousness. whenever you come and visit him at the inn, you almost think that he’s angry with you from the way he throws you vicious glares. unbeknownst to you, xiao is actually making that tense face because he’s trying very hard, too hard in fact, to think of the best way to ask you out on a date and seeing you just makes him all the more nervous. he regrets it every time you step into the elevator while giving him a goodbye wave and saying you’ll come visit again. sure, he gets another chance to try and ask you out again, but he also has another chance to fail as well.
when you visit him for lunch, xiao quickly rehearses the words he wants to say to you in the back of his head before coming to greet you. ‘i overheard from a guest in the inn talking about a lantern rite festival. if you mortal, no, [name], desires to go, i can possibly set aside time to accompany you.’ keep it cool, yet short. taking a deep breath to compose himself, xiao walks over to greet you, er, well actually, you’re the one doing the greeting instead, and you settle down to eat. the sweet taste of the almond tofu that you generously bought for him blossoms in his mouth and he loses track of time till your departure. before you leave once more to allow the poor yaksha to wallow in his self-regret again, you stop yourself and turn around to face xiao. tucking your hair behind your ear and giving your best, most radiant smile you can offer to him, you shyly ask if he’d like to tag along with you to the lantern rite festival. “we’ve never been on a date before and i’d love to go to the festival with you and release xiao lanterns together.”
... what? how? his mouth almost opens up in disbelief, as he struggles to keep a stoic expression. ex-excuse him?! that’s supposed to be his line! he’s in shock at how easily you were able to say something that he’s been having trouble sputtering out. you mortals never fail to surprise him. he shakes his head and bitterly scowls, that you almost step back in fright. almost, until he starts speaking, that is. “why is it you? i should have been the one to ask you on a date first, not you!” he’s almost on the brink of tears from the frustration he currently holds on himself.
a relationship is always about give and take, no? it’s like when zhongli has so kindly decided to save him from the clutches of the cruel abuse he endured endlessly, of course he was forever in debt to rex lapis. surely, it’s the same with you, isn’t it? when xiao tells you this, you immediately start laughing. you calmly explain to him that your relationship isn’t like a form of contract where he’s expected to always repay you back for every gift you give to him. as long as he’s there for you, that’s more than enough of a reward, you say, before plopping a chaste kiss to his cheek.
“finally, you’re here. what took you so long?” xiao speaks to you with indifference concealing the relief that you actually came. he trails his sharp eyes to inspect your dressed up form and blushes slightly. “you look nice.”
immediately, your eyes widen at his underhanded compliment. did- did you hear that right? biting his lower lip gently, xiao clasps your hand in his, ignoring your astounded reaction, as he squeezes it reassuringly while watching the colourful fireworks light up the murky night.
without thinking, he turns to you when you’re focused on the display of bursting lights reflecting in your eyes, and murmurs to himself softly, “i hope you’ll spend the rest of your time with me, for however long it’ll last.”
XINGQIU.
of course, a date with xingqiu has to be extravagant and sophisticated to the last touch, right? guess again. he may come from a wealthy family, but that doesn’t mean he shares the same interest a selfish, pampered noble may have. he prefers something more simple, yet sentimental. confined in his household with nothing to do but bury his head in a book, he’s picked up some ideas for your date from the romance stories he’s read. surprisingly, they’re all rather cliché.
the first thing he makes you guys do is go out in the blazing summer day to get yourselves a cool beverage. he explicitly asks the cashier to give him one straw [do they even exist in the game?] and smiles slyly as he thanks them and brings the drinks to you. when you ask about it, thinking that maybe he forgot, all he does is smirk before saying, “there’s no need, my liege. we can share, unless you’d rather melt in the sweltering sun, that is.” he winks teasingly. you... don’t really have much of a choice in the matter. as you stroll around the harbor together, you take turns drinking from the only straw and a wave of consciousness washes over you gradually. wait, isn’t this like an indirect kiss? you place a hand to your gaping mouth after sucking on the straw that xingqiu pressed his lips on merely seconds ago. you should know by now, how bold he is underneath his polite façade.
after you finish sipping your drink - tediously at that, you both agree on going to the library to read books together since the heat is pretty unbearable to do anything enjoyable. xingqiu recommends you to try reading some of his personal favorites and you do the same as well. he’s thrilled to have a reading buddy now since it’s boring being here by himself.
while you’re immersed in the novel that you randomly picked from the bookshelf, every now and then, xingqiu will look up from the pages of his book and faintly smile to himself, glad that you’re enjoying yourself.
the sun was setting and the stars started to appear in the pastel pink and orange of the evening sky. you place back the last book and stretch your arms, before turning to xingqiu. sighing, you give him a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek and softly say your farewell.
as you’re about to make your leave for the day, xingqiu halts you with his words, “wait. there’s something i need to do before we can end this date.” nonchalantly, he plucks a book from its shelf, opens its pages, and uses it to block the sunlight drifting through the transparent window glass, effectively shielding his vision from the public eye as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss.
his free hand finds its way combing through the back of your head to deepen the kiss. when he’s satisfied enough, the boy detaches his lips from yours and lightly rubs the flesh of your cheek with a finger, while placing the book down on a nearby table. you keep your eyes fixated on him as he licks the edges of his lips.
“that felt nice,” xingqiu murmurs, “you’re so sweet, i’d hate for anyone else to savor in this pleasant moment with you other than i. shall we continue this again on our next date too?”
ZHONGLI.
the first thing he does is make sure to bring mora, this time. it would be highly inconsiderate of mr. zhongli to have you pay for the expenses of this fine date. he’s one to take things nice and slow. sure, time is unfortunately measured and limited, but he wants to make the most of it with you, a mortal who, just like any other being, has a beginning and end to your life. zhongli wants to shower you in all the beauty and joy this world has to offer while you’re still here with him.
he may be a gentle-spoken and polite individual, but please don’t mistaken him as being shy in any way. he shows up to your residence one afternoon and presents you a bouquet of your preferred flowers while he asks if you would consider accompanying him on a date. you take the bundled up flowers, carefully stroking a petal as if it’s made of fragile glass and accepts his proposal with open arms.
he takes you out to an expensive restaurant in the night of liyue and helps you select the best dishes. after you’re finished with your lavish and sophisticated meals, zhongli ushers you outside where you’re greeted with fresh air, a contrast to the suffocation you felt back at the restaurant. sure, the place is grand and your hunger is well-satiated, yet despite wearing your best clothing, you felt out of place there, like a commoner surrounded by nobles.
when you express your earlier discomfort to zhongli, his eyes are filled with shame and he’s already apologizing like the gentleman he is. guiltily, you tell him it’s fine and you ask if you can show him something before you have to head on home. he ponders in thought before agreeing, walking hand in hand with you to your unknown destination.
the chilling night breeze bites at your bare skin as you instantly shiver. this doesn’t go unnoticed in zhongli’s sharp eyes and he’s already unbuttoning his jacket. he drapes the coat over your shoulder blades and rubs his gloved hands on your cold fingertips to preserve warmth. “are you feeling cold perhaps? maybe we should head back?” you stop him before he can guide you back to the harbor.
“i’m okay now. thank you for your concern.” you say to ease his poor mind. he nods and you both continue on. the walk uphill takes a while, but it’s worth it when you finally reach the top. your eyes widen in amazement as you witness the glimmering stars splayed across the pitch darkness of the sky. “zhongli, look. do you like it?” he simply nods, but all of his attention is focused on you.
zhongli grins down at your childishly excited face, pausing for a hesitant minute before he carefully places his hands on top of your shoulders. you look up at him in confusion and is about to question him, but any sound that comes out is cut off by his lips ensnaring yours in a kiss. you’re astounded by his intimate move, but you revel in his touch in a matter of seconds.
he hopes, as he tightens his hold, that you’ll stay with him always, till your last breath.
tagging. @scarymoosh
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A Royal Scandal 3
Modern Royal King!Steve au
(Image from Pinterest)
cowritten with @lizzygal
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Summary - Modern ruler, His Majesty King Steven G Rogers, is on a quest to make his long term secret relationship the real thing. He is a man in love and wants his lover and partner to be his queen.
Warnings - Smut (m/f), dub con/non con, sex tape, scandals, mentions of past domestic abuse, soft dark Steve, possessive Steve, spanking, power imbalance, mentions of previous domestic abuse, somnophilia.
Pairing - King!Steve x reader
Word count - 7k
Story masterlist
Sometimes Steven forgot that you weren’t that much younger than him. He forgot about a lot of things when it was only the two of you. You did that to him. You made him forget things that everyone else reminded him of constantly, intentional and not.
Early that morning was no different.
Long before his alarm went off, Steve found himself on his side watching you sleep. Feeling in every way equal to you, like there was not this huge ocean of things that he did not have in common with you, opposed to what the two of you shared.
Obviously, he was the son of kings and tyrants while you were the daughter of immigrants and a blue-collar family. You’d grown up in a house full of love and kindness and acceptance, he had not. You’d ended your teenage years going to college and then travelling and ending up here, where you chose to stay and work and travel and live a life that Steve could only dream of, his own had never been his own and never would be.
You had dreams and hopes, little things like aspirations. He didn’t.
Steve’s life was dictated by things like duty and obligations, expectations. Yours was not.
Maybe that was why he’d been so drawn to you?
Compared to all the royals around Europe and titled individuals, politicians, even old families, none of them interested him even a fraction of the amount that you interested him. To Steve you were exotic. You were a fascinating creature who might as well have come from Mars.
He couldn’t even say what it was or why.
For so long it had felt right to be alone. Considering the blood of monsters ran through his veins, Steve had been uninterested in any sort of companionship more than a brief encounter at a private location.
For Christ’s sake, he refused to sleep in the bedroom that his father had slept in.
Upon assuming the throne, he’d selected to take up older quarters in an unused part of the palace living complex. As if to ensure he was as far away from the rooms that his father and grandfather and great-grandfather had slept. Choosing to sleep in a bed untainted by any of those men, stored from when his land was ruled by an emperor. Hoping with the hopes of a young king that it would save him from their madness.
Beside him, you slept so peacefully, trustingly.
Steve had never brought anyone into his private apartment. Nor had his bed seen any carnal action since it’d gone into storage. Until you. He’d simply never been so inclined.
A rough sound from the growth on his cheek rubbing against his pillow. A pleasant reminder of that night that felt so long ago, yet also like only yesterday.
He’d had a beard back then he remembered.
A full bushy one.
One that had made you laugh softly at, roll your eyes and still manage to pull off an acceptable bow when you greeted him that late night.
“They beat Canada then Your Majesty?” You had inquired with good nature, setting down a whole stack of papers and folders onto the very modern conference table in a big room that could fit two dozen, more if the people were standing.
He’d beamed.
Steve remembered he’d been in a particularly good mood that night. Even if he was working late on the education push into the outer regions of his kingdom. A good amount was still very rural, many simple villages that lived as they had fifty or more years ago. Many parts of his kingdom were still deeply rooted in the past.
“Indeed. Eleven to four.”
He was beaming. Beaming! You were pretty sure you could see molars. It made you shake your head and begin to sort out all your work into piles to go over. Not that you’d ever admit to secretly being caught up in the hype of the team being so close to gold at the Winter Olympics. “So then the beard stays?”
“You of all people,” he admonished, coming over to help you. Picking up the well-marked up maps you’d spent hours annotating.
Making you roll your eyes.
On he went though, obviously needing to drive home the seriousness of this matter. “The beard stays until we win gold. Next we play Norway. I don’t think it needs to be said that we cannot risk it.”
He was serious. Really serious. If that full glorious beard was any indication.
More focused on the organizing task yourself.
Sorting your work by region, pile by pile, each had taken much work and effort and negotiation, endless phone calls and trips and emails to each area to get them to work not only with you, but one another. It was like herding cats. It had taken you months to get this all sorted out for Steve to see. His ideas weren’t even ready to be implemented. This was just the pre-gaming, the leadup, the work in preparation. You weren’t even on Step One. You were on Step Zero.
“Now that I know, I’ll be sure to grow a beard next Winter Olympics.”
And then you were rewarded with a rich hearty laugh from your king.
Well not your king, as you weren’t a citizen of this country. But you still liked to think of him as your king.
Watching you sleep was something he’d never tire of. Never get enough of. It was a luxury that he didn’t realize he wanted day in out.
The ability to wake up with you tangled up in blankets. Curled back against his front. Hogging pillows as you did. Allowing Steve to run his fingers up and down your bare thigh, along the curves of your body. Letting him lean forward to press his lips to your shoulder and see the peaceful rest of your face in his slowly lightening bedroom. Every last inch of you here for him.
Hungry.
That was what it was, he was hungry for you. Like a big bear that woke from hibernation after a long winter. At times he felt such a way. Never having felt this way about anyone prior.
In his own time, he slipped his fingers down along the round of your ass underneath the flesh of your hip. Warm. Soft. Smooth. Neither of you had left the bed since the late night bath in his tub.
Further down Steve allowed his fingers to trail.
Memorizing every last second to get him through his day. From how you felt pressed against the front of him, how your back moved against his chest with every steady breath you took. The way your legs tangled in his buttery sheets with his own, how the soft cheeks of your bottom pressed against his alert groin.
Most definitely though, how your skin tasted and felt beneath his mouth. Smelling like yourself from all your favorite bath products kept in his bathroom.
You’d smelled so good that night too.
You always smelled good.
It was something that he had noticed but hadn’t given any real thought to.
It seemed to be a mix of perfume and body lotion or cream. Cause Steve found the flowery smell would linger after you walked by in the way that perfume did, infusing the air and making his brain scream out that you were near. But also, when you shook his hand, it always had that sweet fresh clean smell afterwards.
Now, whenever Steve smelled it, all he could think about was you.
Those smells danced around him. Making the late hour bearable. Making the fact that the offices were empty but for the two of you, when you both should have been home in bed, not matter.
“Ok…” you were talking to him, pointing out places on the massive map that was his nation. Arms crossed. Legs spread. Standing beside you as you informed him with tones that indicated your happiness, your displeasure as well as your utter irritation. “…so I managed to get in touch with every Education Department in all nine of your territories.”
Though you were not looking at him, Steve nodded, laser focused on this project he’d tasked you with months ago.
“All of the department heads are on board with your desired overhaul to completely modernize the entire system. Unfortunately, they told me that I had to call all the district heads for all forty-six provinces to get their agreed participation too.”
Your tone went from pleased with yourself then skeptical and then annoyed.
You turned your head to look at him. “Which is what I spent the last three months doing. It was something of a thing.”
Steve could only imagine.
He was quiet though so you could go on. More than pleased with how well you worked in this position. He’d originally been skeptical with your being a foreigner. How dedicated would you be to a job in a country that was not your own? One hundred percent as it turned out.
Your hands flattened out dramatically on the table. Outrage surged from you. “I’m still waiting on two appointees because their predecessors apparently died during harvest season and no one could be bothered to replace the position. I literally had to fly out to the outer reaches of civilization to find this out. Cause all the government offices are closed during harvest season, fyi. But they’re literally filling the positions now.”
Such was the challenge of having a large kingdom with one foot in the future and one in the past. Such things led to the difficultly of keeping a Chief of Staff.
Steve’s previous Chief of Staff had come highly recommended and lasted a little over a month.
Whether it was from a lack of dedication, the obvious frustrations of the job or maybe he simply had not wanted to jump on a plane and fly six hours then ride by car five hours to remote areas in order to complete his work. Steve could not be sure. All he knew for sure was he’d keep you as long as humanly possible.
In his eyes, you were a saint.
“What’s with the question mark?”
Making you look to see which question mark you’d marked on the map full of stickers and marks and tabs. Hours had been spent working on the damn thing.
Seeing which question mark in question made your nose scrunch. “Oh…them, they refuse to even answer my calls until they are allowed to take their traditional name for their province. Which is way above my pay grade. Someone else is going to have to deal with them. I tried.”
Ah, Steve nodded, that was far from surprising. The far outer regions were notoriously independent or rebellious, depending on your stance.
He would deal with them accordingly. Not how his father did, but in his own way.
Steve’s attention was drawn to two nearby provinces. Each had a frowny face sticker. Without asking, he merely pointed.
A noise of pure disgusted frustration came from deep in your throat. Making you stand and look to him, brandishing your hands in all directions. “I tried my best with them. I really did. Both of those provinces absolutely refuse to take part in anything if the other is involved. Apparently, they’re still salty at one another over something that happened in fourteen-seventy-three and refer to me as the foreign she-devil. So…good luck with them Your Majesty.”
Soundly you slept.
Comfortable. Safe. At peace.
Making him feel like a true man. A provider able to care for you, protect you, satisfy you. As if he were stripped down to what nature intended. Instead of what society had dictated for you both.
Reaching down to that heavenly place between the V in your thighs, Steve pushed his fingers further to find your softness slippery, your skin slick with viscous arousal. In pushing his finger up further, running it around the edge of your slit to where the gateway to your body was hidden, he found you heavily aroused. Coating his fingers with a thick fluid that promised you would be able to take him now. Oozing into the cervices between his fingers and smearing thickly down his palm and over the back of his hand.
Unable to help himself, he brought his hand out from between your legs in order to look at your arousal. Merely the sight made his balls clench in eager anticipation. Tasting the bodily excretions had his hips moving against yours on their own.
A noise came from you. Though you were far from waking. Always one to enjoy your sleep.
On his tongue you were heady, ripe. Tasting like sin. Steve licked his fingers. Eyes closed so he could savor the taste, how you clung to his tongue and were thick, like a burst of brandy swirling with his saliva.
Awakened now from his deep sleep. Ravenous like a beast of the forest. He pressed a lingering kiss to your shoulder. Making you mumble. Making you wiggle in your sleep, causing you to reach your arm out for a pillow to pull close. Hooking your leg up higher too. Becoming more comfortable in the bed in addition to opening yourself up more to your king. As if your body had connected to his on a level your mind was unaware and encouraged him to take you.
Down he peered. Strands of hair fell across his forehead at the harsh angle. A soft lightening of the sun through drapes he never closed last night allowed the sight of moisture. Folds of bare skin sheened up at him. Tempting him with that webbing of goo that promised him you were ready.
Taking himself in hand, he caught sight of your name curled over his side. Reminding him of your absolute possession over him. Sending his hand low to pull his foreskin back in order to feed this hunger of you that consumed him.
Your signature was all swoops and swirls.
Recognizable above anyone else’s writing he came across on a daily basis.
All over paper and on the maps. In little corners. Highlighted. In different color pens. On stickie notes. Written on napkins or on the back of random pieces of paper.
At the time, he’d had no idea how far gone he really was.
Not even when he watched you take note after note with a purple inked pen, your hand flowing across paper like a swimmer cutting through the water. Taking down his every word, every command.
A incredibly distinctive feeling of being full woke you up from your glorious sleep, in a very singular sort of way that could be from only one thing. Only one thing on earth felt like that when waking you up.
Pulling you out of a warm blissful sleep only to wake you with the exquisite feeling of being stretched open, pushed into, filled up. Making your fingers clench bedding or pillows or whatever they could grab.
A low breathy moan came from you in the time between you were woken and awake, your face burrowing in a pillow was followed by a soft profanity. Weight slowly covered you. Weight pinned you down to the bed a little at a time. Skin and sheets and soft dustings of hair rubbed against you.
Only when you had fully woken did you feel pubes brush against your cheeks. A light tap of scrotum bumped you too.
Long arms wrapped around you. Wet lips mouthed along the curve of your neck.
This was a far superior way to wake up. Compared to your apartment, in bed alone, to your neighbors loud shrilling alarm clock through your paper-thin wall.
Groaning out at the feel of His Majesty’s cock stuffed safely up in your secret garden. You found yourself whining at Steve at whatever time it was in the early morning. “…fuuuuck…what’d I say about doing that…” A swivel, nay, a swivel with a pop of his pelvis followed, making you see stars, gasp deeply as if you’d been stabbed in the lungs and then add on for God and Country. “…My King…shit, My King…oh shit, My King.”
Though it may have been said in jest, his tone was hot enough to scald. “If memory serves me correctly…” another deep push of thick hips shoved you forward into the pillows. “…you say, not in my ass unless I’m awake.”
Stars.
So many bright and colorful stars.
Mmm.
Yes, that was something you had told him on many occasions and it still held very true. If Steve was going to put anything in your ass, forget that thing he claimed was a dick, you needed to be fully awake so you could both physically and emotionally prepare yourself.
Nothing at all could have prepared you for the drastic turn your life was about to take that night.
Nothing.
Everything had been so normal. It was so regular. Like many a long night working late hours at the palace before. Hours had been spent going over all your hard work contacting each and every head in each education department per province, as well as per territory. In addition to the national department of education, preparing to prep them for what the king wanted.
Like any other late night, Steve helped you put all of your paperwork back in the correct order you had it in. Like every other time, he requested a palace car take you to your apartment. Granted the apartment you shared with your best friend was walking distance away. It was late and simply not safe and you found were touched that Steve would think about your well-being.
For a king, he wasn’t that bad. When it was the two of you anyway.
Looks aside, which he had in spades, he could be very funny in a sarcastic sort of way. He was very well read and intelligent, quick on his feet. Although people seemed to think of him a certain type of way based on his father and his own kingship at a young age, when he really was his own person.
You’d noticed he had a definite interest in the classical masters and had on rare occasion seen him sketch out something on a flight or during a less than stimulating event. He had an artistic ability that would never come to anything due to his role.
His strong sense of duty paired with a disgusting moral obligation pretty much guaranteed his life would be spent in service to his country. Period.
You could see why people thought he was hot. The man had been blessed by the genetic gods. Plus he was a king. Who didn’t grow up dreaming about being a princess? Or think about a literal Prince Charming from fairy tales?
Having now had the benefit of working in a real life palace. You knew the realities of that fantasy.
You had two pages of notes that could attest to the reality of your childhood Disney Princess movies.
Reality was always so different.
Not for the first time, you found yourself repeating yourself. “…and let me say one more time. Thank you so much for talking with my parents. I know it was only ten minutes, but, I know how busy you are and it just completely topped off their visit. My mother has been telling everyone about how she met the king. You even have my father cheering for the hockey team.”
A smile came over Steve’s face that was real.
It wasn’t one of his practiced smiles. It was an actual smile. You could tell because it reached his eyes.
“Well,” Steve answered you with a shrug, sounding genuinely pleased even if he also sounded tired and like he wanted nothing more than to go off to his living quarters in the palace and crash into bed, before he had to get up to start a new day. Helping you stack the last of your papers up. “Anything to convert a soul to hockey. Technically, it is his team too.” And because he could not help himself, Steve added on, “Even if his grandparents fled from here for a cushy life in the west.”
Up your hand flew to your chest.
Your jaw dropped in mock pain. “Ouch, Sir! That one was painful.”
His smile grew at your over-the-top reaction.
Still though, he dipped his head and you noticed there was a little blush on his cheeks above where that magnificent beard grew. Chagrined, he quickly followed up with, “I apologize. That was a cheap shot.”
In a physical sort of way that his people were known to interact, personal space be damned, Steve reached over to touch your arm apologetically. Not something he did frequently. Although he had done it a handful of times. The press of his mouth to your cheek was new. The little kiss was brand new. Steve’s lips were gentle on your skin. His beard tickled your face.
Never in your life had your heart pounded as violently in your chest as it did at that gesture. Quickly, your head turned. Though you did not move back or say anything. Instead, you found yourself staring at Steve. Looking into those pools of blue that were looking at you with the same amount of surprise that you felt. His lips were right there, right there.
Blood roared in your ears, your heart pounded faster and faster and faster.
He kissed you.
Did he really though?
Was it a kiss or was it a kiss?
For a moment in time, you leaned in. Leaned closer. Leaned till you almost touched him because that was what your body wanted to do. Until you remembered that Steve was a king. A KING. Remembering that made your head command your body to lean backwards a bit. Allowing you to see that he had leant in to meet you.
He’d leaned closer to kiss you.
What were you doing? What in the hell were you doing? You had no business doing this, no business at all messing around with Steve.
Fingers moved along your arm, tracing up the back of it softly. That simple touch made goosebumps break out over your skin. It made your breath hitch. Your hands began to shake so you grabbed the fabric of your skirt.
However, you made no move to step away from Steve. Nor did he make any sort of move to step away from you.
Another attempt at a kiss was not made.
Fingers touched your face instead. Steve was close enough to you that you felt his legs brush yours. You felt his breath against your face. Fingertips ran across the swell of your cheekbone, down over your lips, tracing the bridge of your nose in what felt like a desire to memorize your face.
Steve was gentle. His fingertips felt like feathers on your skin. He made you shake like a leaf in terror because you wanted him to touch you more. You wanted to be touched. You wanted to feel his hands on you and the soft glide of his thumb along the line of your jaw was painfully insufficient.
Without thinking, you reached up with your hands until you remembered that he was the king.
Were you allowed to touch the king? You weren’t sure. He was touching you and it was fabulous but were you allowed to do the same? You wanted to. You so deeply wanted to. You just were not sure what was allowed in this situation. It had not exactly been covered in the Royal Protocol Guidebook you had.
Then came Steve’s voice. Harsh. Gravelly. Desperate.
“Touch me. It’s ok. I want you to.”
For only a heartbeat or two you remained still, observing him, making sure. Only after that did you reach up with your hands to cover his wrists. Rub along the fabric of his button-up shirt. In doing so, you not only felt the strength in his well-muscled wrists, or how warm the silky fabric was, but, you could feel him tremble. He was shaking about as much as you were.
A rush of air surged from his lungs as if you had burnt him.
Curious, you turned your head so you could place a single kiss on the inside of his hand touching your face, right at the base of his thumb. In doing so, you ripped a noise from deep within him. A noise that was both pained while also infused with wanting.
“This is ok?”
“Yes,” he croaked out, as if he were terrified you would stop.
Never would you have ever imagined he would be so responsive. Almost touch starved it felt.
Sometimes, Steve still felt as if he were a little touch starved to you. Sometimes it felt like he’d gone his entire life without having that physical connection between two people. As complicated of a man as he was with as complicated of a life as he had, you at times forgot that he was still a human being with human being needs that were essential to thriving.
And it wasn’t like you were complaining.
Far from it.
Not after the orgasm you just had, not from on top of him either. Lounged across the front of him. Loose limbed. Languid down to your marrow. Peppering the damp skin of his neck with slow wet kisses and scrapes of teeth. Long drags of your tongue collected drops of salt that tasted of him. Lazily. Heart to heart. Stomach to stomach.
There really were worse ways to wake up.
Like, for instance, in your apartment taking cold showers cause the building’s water heater was ancient. That wasn’t fun at all and usually had you shivering and hurrying through an icy shower. Straight up not a good time.
This? This was soooo much better.
Feeling Steve’s long legs wrapped up in your own, paired with his softening member filling you by virtue of sheer size not letting himself just pop out…this was a much better way to wake up. Far superior in every way.
Not that you were willing to waste precious time like this luxuriating in post-coital bliss. No, no. A burning question was hot on your mind that kept popping up after last night. After all, you were a modern woman and this was a serious relationship. You had every right to ask this question at any time you wanted. Even now. As your boyfriend, the king, fondled your breasts in his hands with such intensity that you would have thought he’d just broken out of Alcatraz after a decade of no nookie. Not that you were in the least bit complaining. Not one bit.
“Am I going to have to quit my job?”
It was something of a concern.
You loved your job. You loved working with Steve. You loved your life as it was and a big part of you suspected becoming queen would mean big changes.
Not that you lifted your head from his neck, or ceased your trek down towards his collarbone. Trail of your kisses never slowing or stopping. No hint of any sort of disruption came. Not for a moment or two. Not till your ravenous boyfriend squeezed your breasts possessively. Thumbed your nipples and finally opened his eyes, as if it were the biggest chore on earth.
His voice was rough. His tone felt like hot gooey honey that just got everywhere. “No…not yet…”
Leading you to make a noise. A pop followed when your mouth left the dark spot you’d been sucking on nearly at his collarbone. What with your name already etched on him. What else could you leave in a display of ownership over him? “Nothing else to add My King?” For added emphasis, perhaps you gave you vaginal muscles a clench knowing what that did to him.
A grunt came from beneath you.
Wrapped up in yours, Steve’s legs clenched in response to what you did. White teeth sank into his upper lip and you absolutely thrived at the sight and feel of him arching up against you, shifting around beneath you at the way your body squeezed him.
Those hands left your breasts only to reach down, run over your waist as they had so many times before, leading you to grab them. Snatch then right up. Press them down into the mattress over Steve’s head. Since the man was far larger than you, this sent you leaning downwards and ever closer to his face. “Steve? I asked you a question.”
How easy it would have been for him to get free. Yet, he seemed content where he found himself. Still wedged within you. Warm in bed. Body a sea of a complex cocktail of chemicals after physically releasing into you. A far better way to wake up than alone in a massive bed. Or worse, to his mother jabbing at him to urgently tell him something that was not urgent at all.
Feeling your breasts press against his chest. Lightly brushing over his skin, your nipples little points that sparked a definite interest in his dick.
God did he want you to be his queen.
“Not yet,” Steve ground out, nearly close to being overwhelmed by you. Each and every word was enunciated to utter perfection, as if it took all of his concentration and effort to get them out. “I’ll have the palace leave your name out of the official statement today. We can go slow. Ease you into things…ease you out of your job…” and to reward him for such a thoughtful statement, you clenched around him once more.
However, it seemed, there was more and even though his eyes rolled up into his head at the feel of your core squeezing his not entirely soft organ, he pushed on with the determination of his ancestors. Grunting. Arching back into the bed as the pillows had all wound up on the floor. Perfect teeth clenched together. “M-my people…will…love you…too.”
So, it was entirely possible, that you were feeling all kinds of powerful watching him writhe beneath you. Knowing exactly what sort of repercussions this could have to your morning. Which was still progressing on time. It was entirely possible that you may have intentionally pushed your own pelvis against his to reseat yourself.
“Oh yeah? How can you be so sure? You saw what happened with those two over in England. And that prince isn’t even next in line to the throne.”
Perhaps it was the seriousness of the direction in which your conversation had taken, Steve remained beneath you. Taking no action, even though you could quite literally feel his dick grow more interested in what your hips were doing.
A panted out, “…fuck…” escaped from him, before he opened his eyes to look at you seriously, if not also a little heatedly. “Quit obsessing over them. The King of Jordan married for love. Queen Rania was a commoner. If you must, focus on them.”
Sudden movement found you falling off Steve and onto the bed, shoved onto your back and in a flash, he was on top of you again. Over you. Hovering. Though he’d escaped out of your body, you could feel the king’s most delicious semi, slick from your previous copulation, squish between you both.
Admitting on an exhale, “Forgot about them.”
“Everyone does.” He agreed, surveying down, taking in the sight of you. “My country appreciates you. They’re fond of you. You’re in all the papers and they’ve given you a nickname.”
And that. That. Nearly killed the mood.
It sent your eyebrows together dubiously so.
Everytime you were in the press it was when your skirt had been blown up on a windy day, or if you’d accidentally gotten food on your shirt. Or that time a baby goat pooped on your shoes. Or when you’d tripped and fallen off a dock into a lake. Who could forget that time you’d accidentally called the Prime Minister of Canada a ‘moose fucking cannibal’ when you’d still been getting the hang of the language, your first year on the job?
You’d been affectionately dubbed, ‘the King’s Foreign Devil’ and it had stuck.
Hell, you still got asked about your thoughts on the Canadian Prime Minister whenever a member of the press was around.
“Most the time, you have a higher approval rating than I do,” he added. Much to the consternation of Maria Hill in PR. “Trust me. There is nothing my country loves more than a hard-working loyal servant of the people who talks shit about western leaders.”
Mood totally killed, you seethed and not for the first time, “That was an accident! I was trying to call him Canada’s Disney Prince.”
***
The note had been hand delivered to the palace and was now crumbled into a ball in the Queen Mother’s bedroom as she stormed off, once more, that early morning in a fury of rose satin and silk. Her perfume clouded around her, drifting behind her, much like the wake of a boat cutting through the water.
Thick carpets silenced her heels. Doors opened for her as she neared them, allowing her to not need to slow her step even for a second. Not a single moment wasted as she made her way through the private living quarters of the palace.
Down hallways and around corners, over to the rooms that her grown son had selected as his own.
It would have been so much easier if he would have just taken the rooms that his father had lived in.
Although, with the horrific memories attached to those rooms, how could she blame him when he elected not to? She had her own private rooms. The dead kings rooms were locked up tight and still not used. Abandoned like so much he’d done, started and accomplished in his life.
Upon coming to her only child’s rooms, those doors were held open for her and on she pressed on. Sailing through his rooms, one after another, until she got closer to his bedroom and could hear his shower which was the direction she headed.
A brief glance was made at the mess that was his bed.
A roll of her eyes was followed by a shake of her head.
Some things males never grew out of it seemed.
“Steven!” She called out in warning, should he be in the bathroom about to come out in the nude. Which was the last thing she wanted to see.
Not only was his bed a mess but his clothes from yesterday were all over the floor.
She had every intention of telling him that he needed to straighten up this mess before the cleaning staff came in his room. The last thing she wanted was for them to think he was messy and then tell their families and friends when they went home that the king had a messy bedroom and word would get out that her son was a slob. Ugh. No. She’d make sure that he straightened up.
Speaking of the devil.
As his shower ran, Steve peered out of the bathroom with a wet head. A midnight blue towel was wrapped around his waist. A toothbrush was in his hand. To Sarah, it was very clear that her grown son had not shaved yet either.
Seeing him in such a state that morning along with his messy room and the fact the shower was going wasting water. It did not make her mood any more agreeable.
Though her son was taller than her and considerably more muscular, she never feared him.
She knew he would never hurt her like his father had so many times. Towards the end, Steve had even defended her from his father’s physical attacks. Those days. They had been dark. Horrible. Terrible. When she noticed that her husband had begun to carry a knife to protect himself from his son. Well. What was she supposed to do?
Attacking her was one thing. Being violent towards her was one thing. There were some things that she learned to tolerate. It was unescapable. Their son though. To take a knife to their son? Her son? Sarah would never allow such a thing.
She was queen at the time.
It was not so difficult to get the drug that she put in her husband’s evening nightcap. She’d used all of it. Thrown the vial away the next day when she went to rouse the king as she did every morning, only to find him dead in his chair. Fireplace having long gone out. Slumped down. Cold. The coroner had said it was a heart attack. Exactly as she’d been told the drug would work. He’d been buried with no one the wiser. Not even Steve.
“Yes mother?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “You are not growing another beard. Last time you looked like some man that lives up in the mountains in a tiny shack.”
Just as her own father once did, Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise and question.
No. That was not why she was here.
Sarah had a higher calling that morning and straightening her slim shoulders, she so informed him. “Hope and Janet are here in the city. They’ve come for a surprise visit and will arrive at the palace within the hour.”
Steve’s eyes narrowed at her in response to her information.
It was horrifying. It was outrageous. It was not what he wanted to hear that morning one bit. Not at all. Not one single bit.
Hope and Janet?
Those were two names he never wanted to hear with the additional words being, ‘on their way’. No. Just no.
All he could say that was remotely civil, after what the then Princess Hope van Dyne had done, came out in something of a tone. “I don’t want to see either of them. If you want to see them, that’s your choice. Keep them away from me.”
Considering what the now Duchess Hope had spewed to every reporter, journalist and whomever with a platform…Sarah was a little surprised that Steve was being so kind.
She’d expected a bit more of a reaction from her son.
Could she be holding a bigger grudge against her one-time closest friend’s daughter? After what had happened, Queen Janet van Dyne had become somewhat distant. Which was not surprising. Hope had not broken the engagement gracefully. Nor had she been anything less than opinionated afterwards.
“I suspect she is in trouble,” Sarah confessed. “Why else would they come here? Considering everything that Hope has said over the years.”
Steam continued to seep through the cracked door.
Sarah was about to say something about the shower. Steve was wasting a considerable amount of hot water. She herself was leading the Go Green Initiative in the country and as she stated constantly, it all began at home.
“Mother, don’t take this the wrong way, but, I wouldn’t shit in Hope’s mouth if she was starving.”
Ah.
Perhaps she’d been too quick to judge Steve’s current opinion on the wayward duchess?
Pondering his statement, Sarah found herself looking for any way to come back with a counter when she noticed that the shower turned off. Which was odd. Shower’s didn’t turn themselves off.
What was even more peculiar, Steve reached back behind himself to shut his bathroom door.
It clicked.
Like a light going off.
How could she not have noticed? How could it not have been obvious?
Blue eyes that were a little softer than her son’s narrowed. “You aren’t alone.”
Silence.
Quiet.
Her pink lips opened in surprised. A question hovered on her tongue.
“No mother.”
“But…”
“Mother,” he implored as only a son could. “Not now. She would not want the first time she officially meets you to be when you’re dressed for the day and she is not.”
And though her son’s words were true. They were right. They were exactly what she would have wanted him to say and because she had raised him well, she was even proud that he had made such a quick decision. It wasn’t fair.
Sarah wanted to find out who you were. She wanted to meet the woman that her son was involved with. Was that so wrong? Sarah wanted to meet the woman that her son was considering marrying. There was so much she wanted to say to you, so much to teach you, so much she wanted to learn about you. Perhaps her desperation showed because her son reached out to place a hand on her elbow.
“If you can chase Hope and Janet away, we could have lunch together. The three of us. If not, dinner? Or even tomorrow. I’m not doing anything with Hope under this roof. Not after she referred to our country as a third world plus hellhole full of war criminals and superstitious backwoods heathens.”
Ah, so he did remember.
Those words had been seared into her memory as well. Sometimes Sarah wondered, as Steve had never really given much indication that he cared one way or the other what Hope had said. It was only after she began to speak unflatteringly about their people that he grew irritated, much like herself.
Although, what irritated Sarah more, was the quiet that came from the royal house of van Dyne and Pym a few countries over. Never once had Janet spoke up. Never had Janet said anything about her daughters outrageous remarks or behavior. Nor had she apologized.
Knowing her son, Sarah knew that he would never court anyone who was not kind or compassionate. Steve would never pick a Hope as his queen.
Up came a hand that bore a lovely ring decorated with fresh water pearls from their own waters. “I’ll have them gone before lunch and then we will all sit down together so I can finally meet her.”
#steve rogers x reader#chris evans x reader#steve x reader#captain america x reader#steve rogers x you#marvel x reader#avengers x reader#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n
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A Critical Role Campaign 2 Mechanics Primer
Got a request from a new Critical Role viewer for some clarification re: rules and characters, and dang, yes, there’s so much stuff to deal with as a new viewer at the moment. So here’s an attempt at clarifying some stuff!
How does D&D work?
Fundamentally, one person (the DM) sets the scene and the players riff off that scene by acting out what their characters would do in response. Whenever a player’s actions would lead to an uncertain result, the DM can call for them to roll a die and try to hit a predetermined target number to see if they succeed. The players’ individual characters have abilities that boost certain categories of rolls and penalize others; a very strong character is more likely than a scrawny one to be able to open a jammed door, but they could still have an unlucky roll. It’s the DM’s job to incorporate the sometimes-absurd results of those die rolls into a coherent story.
Combat is the most “gamey” D&D gets, where everyone has a turn set aside to act (with an order determined by the “initiative” roll that starts combat). This is where character classes come in handy: magic-users cast spells, fighters jump in with their weapons of choice, and so forth. Each character has a set of hit points, and once those reach zero, the character is unconscious and possibly dying. But combat ain’t just hack-and-slash: there can be conversation, strategy, manipulation, collaboration, and all sorts of weird subtleties going on. Fundamentally, players’ actions are limited only by their imaginations.
It can be super weird getting into a D&D show even if you have played a bit because everyone plays the game a bit differently. Critical Role’s gameplay leans hard into roleplaying and character beats (there are episodes with basically no dice rolls) but also leans hard enough into the rules that a random bad or good roll can completely derail the story; rolls aren’t fudged or handwaved for the sake of a predetermined narrative, which means nobody playing (including the DM) knows how things are going to end up. This makes for a viewing experience that is a cross between dramedy improv and live sports; the cast plays out long scenes of conversation, but their characters could also permanently die at any time, adding to the high stakes. It’s also totally unedited, which accounts for the absurdly long runtime.
If any of that isn’t for you, there are a lot of great D&D podcasts out there (often labeled “actual play”) that run the gamut from silly with minimal rules to mechanically involved but edited down. It’s a cool time to get into D&D!
Okay, so how exactly do these characters do their thing?
One of the more confusing aspects for new viewers of the second campaign of Critical Role is that they’re using a fair amount of content that’s not in the baseline ruleset - some character races and classes are coming from expansion content, and some are from Matt Mercer (the DM’s) homebrew. Here’s a quick summary of what each character has going on at the start of the campaign, moving from left to right in the first episode’s seating arrangement.
Fjord (played by Travis Willingham)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Travis is the big guy who looks like he could throw a football real far. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has a Texas twang.
Fjord is a half-orc warlock. A half-orc typically has green skin and tusks but otherwise looks fairly close to a garden-variety human. Warlocks are magic-users who gained their abilities from a bargain with a mysterious (generally somewhat malevolent) being of great power. Mechanically, they rely a lot on what are called cantrips (spells that can be cast an unlimited number of times a day) since the number of more powerful spells at their disposal is very limited. However, unlike most other casters that have to get a full night’s sleep to regain their stronger spells, warlocks just have to rest for an hour or so and they’re good to go. More specifically, Fjord is a hexblade warlock. Hexblades are warlocks who have a particularly strong bond with their weapon of choice and can summon it from nothing.
Beauregard (played by Marisha Ray)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Marisha is the woman who often perches on her chair like she’s about to take flight. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is a bit gruff with a sarcastic drawl.
Beau is a human monk. Both humans in this campaign use a variant version of human that allows them to pick a feat at the start of the campaign: Beau has some extra expertise in investigative and athletic abilities. Monks are preternaturally powerful martial artists; what some classes do with magic, they do with unarmed combat. Mechanically, they rely on an ability called ki points, which are a stockpile of points that can be used for extra-powerful abilities such as being able to hit extra times on an attack or being able to stun an enemy. More specifically, Beau is a Way of the Cobalt Soul monk, which is a homebrew from Matt and means she’s essentially a warrior-monk-librarian whose key abilities center around rooting out useful information.
Caleb (played by Liam O’Brien)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Liam is the guy who perpetually looks like he’s about to launch into a Shakespearean monologue. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is soft with a German accent.
Caleb is a human wizard. His variant human feat gives him an eidetic memory and the ability to always know what time it is. Wizards are magic-users who got to where they are with careful study; Caleb has to keep track of his spells by transcribing them into a spellbook. He also has a familiar in the form of the cat Frumpkin, although Frumpkin can also change forms. Mechanically, wizards can pick up spells from a lot of different sources to learn them, but again, the cost in time and materials of transcribing them into a spellbook can be substantial. More specifically, Caleb is a transmutation wizard, which means his wizardry focuses around the act of transforming one thing into another.
Nott (played by Sam Riegel)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Sam is the guy with an alarmingly big smile and a comically oversized flask. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is high-pitched with varying levels of Cockney accent.
Nott is a goblin rogue. Goblins are small and quick, and may or may not be well-received depending on the location. Rogues are sneaky individuals who do best when striking from the shadows or scouting ahead to investigate potential traps and unlock doors. Mechanically, they get a huge bonus in combat if they attack when unseen or when an opponent is distracted by an ally. They’re also very good at avoiding attacks and at hiding from view. More specifically, Nott is an arcane trickster rogue, which means she also dabbles in magic related to illusions and enchantment.
Jester (played by Laura Bailey)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Laura is the one who may or may not be instigating every round of giggles at accidental innuendo. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is bubbly with an Eastern European accent.
Jester is a tiefling cleric. Tieflings essentially look like brightly-colored humans (Jester has blue skin) with horns and a tail; they’re the result of infernal ancestry and also may or may not be well-received. Clerics are magic-users who derive their power from the blessing of a deity or other extremely powerful entity. Jester’s divine patron is the Traveler, a mysterious trickster with an affinity for phallic graffiti. Mechanically, clerics have a massive stable of spells from which they can choose a subset every morning; their abilities range from healing wounds to causing devastating harm. More specifically, Jester is a trickery domain cleric, which means her spells have a strong focus on illusions and pranks.
Mollymauk (played by Taliesin Jaffe)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Taliesin is the one who looks like he may be some sort of ancient fey creature who’s come to our realm to play D&D. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has an Irish accent of varying intensity.
Molly is a tiefling blood hunter with purple skin. Blood hunters are a custom class Matt created that can use their own blood (in a process called hemocraft) to augment their combat abilities. Mechanically, blood hunters are high-risk high-reward; they can perform devastatingly brutal attacks, but often only at the cost of shedding some of their own blood to do so. More specifically, Molly is an Order of the Ghostslayer blood hunter, which means he’s got an affinity for things relating to the moment of death.
Yasha (played by Ashley Johnson)
If you’re watching the show in video form, Ashley is the one who isn’t around for a little bit (she was splitting her time with a TV show on the opposite coast) and then SHE’S BACK AND I’M STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is soft with a faint Scandinavian accent.
Yasha is an aasimar barbarian. Aasimar are the semi-divine counterpart to tieflings, although Yasha is a fallen aasimar with a fairly different aesthetic. Barbarians use their rage to enhance their already fierce battle prowess. Mechanically, barbarians in a rage take less damage and deal more damage, and also embrace a high-risk high-reward playstyle as tanks in the middle of the fray. More specifically, Yasha is a Path of the Zealot barbarian, which means her battle rages are fueled by the influence of a divine being.
Interested in watching from the start of campaign 2? The show has a YouTube channel with each episode posted in its entirety, and all episodes are also available in podcast form (they did jump channels partway through, but you can usually find a playlist that has them all). If you want to delve into campaign 1, I highly recommend it, but be aware that they’re still figuring out tech stuff and you’re also jumping in partway through the game they started years earlier at home. Campaign 2 starts 20 years after campaign 1 on a different continent of the same world, and is intended to be an appropriate jumping-on point for new viewers.
Interested in catching up faster so you can watch live with friends? Search Critical Recap for a series of recap videos on YouTube, which then becomes a series of written summaries on the CritRole website after episode 88. There are also great summaries on the Wiki, and many people have put together catch-up guides for new viewers.
There’s A LOT of content out there. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for skimming the early stuff if you want to get in on the new episodes sooner. <3
Episodes air at 7 PM Pacific every Thursday on Critical Role’s Twitch and YouTube channels; the VOD goes up for free on YouTube the Monday after. In the last few months, the cast has been distanced at the studio (all on separate cameras) and episodes have been pre-recorded several weeks in advance; normally, the show is streamed live and everyone is around the same table.
Hope that helps! If you have any questions, let me know. This is a fun show to get into, and a great all-consuming massive body of entertainment if you have the time for it.
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Tyria Pride 2021
Added the Tyria Pride 2021 event to calendar. Can’t wait to attend! :D
Per the forum post:
Tyria Pride 2021 will be happening on June 26 & 27, on both NA and EU servers!
■ What is Tyria Pride?
Tyria Pride is an annual event that celebrates the LGBTQ+ community and our allies both in-game and out, and raises funds for Rainbow Railroad, a non-profit organisation which helps LGBTQ+ people around the world escape state-sponsored persecution and violence!
It's a 2-day event with a 6 year history, as part of which we'll be walking from Ebonhawke to the gates of Rata Sum in Metrica Province, hanging out & having fun while raising money to leave the world a better place than we found it!
■ When / Where?
The event takes place over two days, and will be held on both EU and NA servers.
Start locations:
• Saturday, June 26: Ebonhawke (at the portal from Divinity's Reach)
• Sunday, June 27: Lion's Arch (at the Field of the Fallen)
Start times:
• EU: 16:00 CEST [14:00 UTC] • NA: 4 PM CDT [21:00 UTC]
We tend to start marching about 15 minutes past the hour. Despite this, to get into the correct instance without any issues, it's recommended to be at the location at least 15 minutes before the hour.
■ How to join?
To accommodate everyone coming to the event, we'll have multiple volunteers helping everyone get together, and will be taking over multiple instances of the same map. Each instance can only take about 150 people, so not everyone will be able to fit on the same instance. Our volunteers will be opening LFGs to get everyone onto a number of maps.
One way to make this simpler and to get in touch with volunteers more easily is to join the Tyria Pride discord, at tyriapride.com/discord! As the event draws closer, we'll include a list of volunteers here that you can contact in-game as well!
Please note: Do not open your own LFGs, please wait for organisers to open theirs so that you can join on a map instance with an organiser on it. Due to how the megaservers work, just because you are in Ebonhawke / Lion's Arch, it doesn't mean you're with the organisers. That's why it's a good idea to arrive into the map before the event start time!
■ How to get involved?
The success and scope of Tyria Pride depends heavily on help and volunteers from the community! If you wish to help out, there are several ways you can do so:
• Volunteering: Volunteers help out on the day of the event by helping ferry/taxi everyone into the correct instance between maps, guiding the path, fielding questions & providing information (which you'll be provided as a volunteer in the form of copy-pastes). A commander tag helps greatly with this but is not necessary.
• Streaming the event: Streaming the event is a great way to spread the word! This year we'll be compiling and highlighting a list of streamers that will be attending the event, so if you're planning on streaming the event, let me know!
• Contributing in-game prizes: One of the ways that we encourage donations to the Rainbow Railroad fundraiser is by doing raffles of in-game prizes. In the past, this has included legendaries, rare materials and fancy skins! If you can contribute anything that you think might be a cool prize, get in touch!
• Spreading the word: The most important thing to any event is visibility! If you can spread the word to your friends, your guild, your grandma, your estranged cousins, share the event on social media, talk about it at brunch with your co-workers, explain it to your cat! For quick information, here's a promo image you can share! If you want to get involved, either as a guild or as an individual, the best way to do that is to join our discord at tyriapride.com/discord and get in touch there, or contact me in-game at Lelling.6795 via in-game mail!
I also want to give a very special shoutout to ❤ Gamers Giving Back ❤ who are supporting the event with both volunteers on NA side and prizes, for the fourth year in a row! GGB are not only great supporters of Tyria Pride, but also organise other in-game charity fundraisers throughout the year such as the Pink Day in LA cancer fundraiser in October and the MS Toga Party for multiple sclerosis! Check out their amazing work at gamergivingback.org!
■ Fundraiser
But wait! We're not just talking the talk, we're also walking the walk, and we want to create actual change and improve the lives of LGBTQ+ people worldwide, so we are, as always, running a fundraiser for Rainbow Railroad, an organisation focused on helping LGBTQ+ individuals escape persecution and violence.
We'll be posting the fundraiser closer to June, as well as sharing it on other social media, so keep an eye out! Just like every year, those donating to the fundraiser will be able to participate in raffles to receive both in-game and out-of-game rewards!
■ Contact
If you have any questions about the event, feel free to ask them here on this post! I'll be checking it regularly and doing my best to reply to any questions! You can also join the Tyria Pride in-game guild, but note that the guild is inactive throughout the year, and is only used as an infopoint to let people know about this particular event. If you're looking for an active LGBTQ+ guild, the Tyria Pride event itself and our discord are a great place to look!
In-game contact: Lelling.6795
Tyria Pride discord: tyriapride.com/discord
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Up the Rabbit Hole
Summary: You have a problem- you can't stop thinking about how good Barbatos looked in that bunny costume. It's interfering with your studies, duties, and even your friendship with him. With no clue what to do, you begin to avoid him.
Barbatos, however, is not fond of this fix, and when his patience runs thin, he offers you a more unorthodox solution.
Pairing: Barbatos/ Reader
Rating: Explicit
CW: Prostate massage, anal fingering, collars, slight master/pet
Read below the cut or on AO3
A gift for my friend for Barbatos’ birthday! Enjoy!
It was all that bunny suit’s fault.
Ever since everyone was forced to don those dumb bunny costumes, you had been an utter wreck. You couldn’t focus on your studies, earning you an earful from Lucifer. You couldn’t focus when you were cooking, earning complaints about the pitiful state of dinner from everyone but Lucifer. You couldn’t focus on Mammon’s schemes, or Levi’s games, or Satan’s recommended books, or Asmo’s fashion advice, or Lucifer’s lectures, or Beel’s workouts, or even something as simple as napping with Belphie. You couldn’t focus on anything.
Except for the mental image of Barbatos in that bunny outfit.
Why it had enchanted you so much was a mystery. Maybe it was the change in wardrobe; the way the vest highlighted his slender waist and broad shoulders, the lime green tie bringing out the same shade in his eyes. Maybe it was the ears themselves and the charming tail that accompanied them; the ears revealing a cutesier side to the ever-serious butler, and the fluffy tail drawing attention to his rounded behind. Maybe it was watching him work in the suit, catering to guests as serious, as dedicated, as always, despite the circumstances. Maybe it was the way he wore it all with no shame, not embarrassed in the slightest at the large ears, rounded tail, and odd situation, retaining his confidence through it all…
Maybe it wasn’t a mystery why you liked it so much after all.
Either way, your thoughts and preoccupation with the memories of Bunny Barbatos were providing you with issues- the biggest of which being that you couldn’t even talk with Barbatos anymore. You couldn’t make eye contact with him without thinking about floppy ears and a firm build. You couldn’t listen to him speak without the deep timbre of his voice igniting fantasies mid-conversation that left you a stuttering mess. Even simply being near him caused your brain to derail, hands to sweat, and heart to pound.
In one moment of weakness, you bought a dark green collar you saw while browsing the web, one you knew would look amazing on Barbatos, especially paired with the cursed ears and tail. You hid it in your bedside table, refusing to acknowledge just how far gone you were, refusing to acknowledge the new images, fantasies, and dreams it sparked.
You, in embarrassment and for your sanity, started to avoid him.
You weren’t dumb enough to think this would solve the problem, especially with how sharp Barbatos was. What you had hoped was that Barbatos would tolerate your finicky behavior without prying just long enough for you to get this problem under wraps.
For a while, it worked- Barbatos allowed you to make your escape, sending any messages he needed to tell you through the brothers. He left sweets wrapped with notes attached on them for you to enjoy on your bed. If you ended up in the same hallway, he kindly ducked into a nearby corridor in order for you to pass unhindered.
This game continued for two weeks- you avoiding him, and Barbatos letting you. His patience was commendable, and it was just another thing you admired about him. He let you go, again and again, in an unusual game of cat and mouse.
But everyone’s patience runs out eventually.
It was on the fifteenth day of this arrangement that Lucifer handed you a note. It read:
Dear,
Meet me in your bedroom tonight at eight ‘o’clock sharp. There is something we must discuss. No more running from me.
Sincerely,
Your faithful servant, Barbatos
You read over the note again with trepidation and glanced at the time on your D.D.D.- 4:01. You had four hours to prepare yourself for the inevitable conversation you knew was to come. Four hours to get yourself under control. Your stomach tied itself in knots.
Stupid bunny outfit.
-----
Time flew, and before you knew it, eight was upon you.
You paced outside your door, fidgeting with your hands and hair. Your nerves were getting the best of you. What if he rejected you? What if he no longer even wanted to be friends with you? What if he called you a kinky freak and exposed you? What if he convinced Diavolo to send you back to the human world?
‘What if’ upon ‘what if’ piled up in your mind, each one more ridiculous and implausible than the last. It was agonizing, not knowing what was going to happen when you stepped through the door and faced Barbatos. You felt the seconds tick away, each pressing down on you more and more.
Finally, you couldn’t stand the pressure and anxiety anymore. You flung the door open and stepped into the dimly lit room. There, on your bed he sat with-
With bunny ears on and the suit to match. Suddenly, you felt like passing out.
When he saw you enter, he moved to stand, and a flash of light from his neck caught your eye. The bunny ears had distracted you from the rich, dark green velvet adorning his slender neck, the gold chain attached matching the golden detailing and swirls on the green.
It was the collar you had bought. He was wearing the collar you had bought and hid.
“That- that’s the- But I- How’d you- Why’re you-,” you stuttered. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess, and they all came rushing out in an incomprehensible mess you continued to stumble through, even as Barbatos glided towards you. He raised a gloved hand and caressed your face when he was near enough to. He shushed you.
“A few days ago, I came in here to drop off a slice of Devil food cake, and I intended to leave a note. However, I seemed to have forgotten a pen. I didn’t mean to pry, but I figured that one such as yourself would keep a pen near your bed, so I looked in your bedside table. While I certainly did find a pen to write with, I also found this charming collar hidden away. It seemed to match perfectly with a certain outfit I wore not too long ago. Care to explain?”
His facial expression never changed, but his eyes shown with a mischievous sheen, his voice filled with amusement, and there was a slight self-satisfied quirk to his smile. You could try and lie your way out of this one, but it was clear he had figured you out long ago. You sighed.
“I think you already know everything, jerk,” you grumbled, before continuing louder. “Fine. You were really hot in that bunny outfit, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I bought that collar because I thought it would look good on you, and I was right. I’ve been having inappropriate fantasies about you, which is why I’ve been avoiding you. There, happy?”
He chuckled. “Quite. Hearing such flattering words come from you is always welcomed. Since you were so honest with me, I believe you deserve a special treat.”
“What do you mean by ‘special treat?’ Like dessert?” He hummed, obviously amused.
“No, I believe something else is in order. You mentioned certain… fantasies pertaining to me, did you not?” You nodded dumbly. His lips twitched, and he reached for his tie, slowly loosening it. “Well then, since you were honest about having them, as a reward I’ll allow you to fulfill them.”
Your brain was running a mile a minute but still couldn’t seem to catch up. “Fulfill my fantasies?” you questioned.
He fully removed his tie, moving to lay it on the bed. He then began to undo the buttons on his vest and shirt, revealing inch-by-inch more of his pale skin. “Yes, fulfill your wishes. Touch me as you wish, direct me as you want. Command me, your humble servant.”
It was like his words had cast a spell on you, because suddenly all the desire and lust you had been repressing for the past weeks welled to the surface. Your hands itched to touch, your tongue to taste, and your eyes to look upon him below you.
“Lay down on the bed.”
He did as told, and you closed the distance in a second, straddling his body. His dark hair fanned out against the pillows, bunny ears tapping the headboard. His eyes practically glowed with a mix of satisfaction and interest. His shirt and vest were completely undone, hanging open. You swallowed.
You pushed the shirt and vest down his arms, and with his help, you removed them completely. Now that his upper body was completely visible, you couldn’t stop your hands from dancing along his shoulders, collarbones, and chest with frantic energy.
“You know,” you started, voice thick, “In my fantasies, I like to spoil the always-composed butler with attention and pleasure till he so overwhelmed that his mask breaks, and I get to see him beg. Spoiling someone who always works so hard, like they are my pet who did a good job, and this is their reward.”
“Then by all means, Master, reward me, your humble bunny.”
You didn’t need to be told twice. You leaned down, pressing kisses along his flawless skin from his partially exposed neck, to his collarbones, to his nipples. Your lips latched onto one, sucking and tugging lightly with your teeth, while the other one was pinched with your eager hand. You heard him sigh, but that wasn’t enough- you wanted to hear him lose his composure completely.
You move to the other nipple, laving it with attention as well, till both nipples were hard and perky. Once you were satisfied with that, you continued your path downwards. You alternated dotting his skin with kisses and light nips, stopping to suck here and there. When you passed his belly button, getting ever so close to the waistband of his pants, you felt his stomach tighten in anticipation.
You reached for the button on his pants, undoing it and shoving them down to his ankles, stopping to admire the bulge in his boxer briefs before shoving those down, too. His cock now free and hard, it stood proudly towards his stomach, leaking precum.
You wrapped your hands around it, looking up at Barbatos’ face for any sign of change, but his expression was as placid as always. Using the precum dripping from the tip, you wet your hands, before setting a steady pace of jerking him off, slowing at the tip to rub your thumb against it.
You looked up at his face, yet his expression had not changed despite the pleasure.
You were going to have to up your game if you wanted him to melt beneath you.
You stopped your ministrations, leaning over Barbatos to reach into your beside table. You pulled out the lube you had stashed there, closing the drawer, and moving back down Barbatos’ body. You spread his legs and settled between them, popping the lube open. You poured a sizable amount onto your palm, then began rubbing your hands together to warm the liquid.
“This okay?” you asked, circling your middle finger around his tight hole, but not entering.
“Touch me as much as you want, wherever you want,” he said, voice husky. You rolled your eyes.
“Is that a yes? I need a clear one.”
“Then, yes.” He spread his legs even wider, giving you ample access.
Now that that was out of the way, you tentatively pushed your finger into his tight hole. With your free hand, you grabbed his cock once more, stroking it to make sure he felt good even while you stretched him.
You began to thrust your finger in and out, letting Barbatos adjust to the sensation. When you felt him relax and loosen slightly around you, you added a second finger. He hissed at the additional digit, and when you checked to make sure he was okay, his eyes were closed, eyebrows raised and furrowed.
You stopped moving. “Is this-,”
“Yes, it’s okay. Keep going,” he grunted out, wiggling his hips. You started thrusting your fingers again, and he sighed.
Oh, okay.
So, he was feeling it, but you still wanted more.
You replaced your random thrusting with rubbing against his inner walls, searching for what you knew would cause him to crumble. It took a few moments, but you knew the second you felt the bump that that was what you had been looking for.
You began to circle the small bump, applying steady pressure, causing Barbatos to arch off the bed. Proud that you had gotten such an obvious reaction out of him, you doubled down, circling faster and tightening your grip on his cock as you continued to jerk him off.
You then alternated between circling, tapping the bump, and rubbing it in a ‘come hither’ motion. Barbatos’ legs began to quiver, and when you glanced up, you saw he had become a mess- panting with his mouth open, sweat beading on his brow, and cheeks flushed pink. You stared in wonder, adoring his reactions.
And yet, it still wasn’t enough- he still hadn’t made any noise.
Desperate for him to moan or gasp or anything, you replaced your hand on his leaking cock with your lips, circling the tip with your tongue and licking the underside, before taking him in your mouth.
“Ah!” he gasped, bucking his hips, pushing his cock further into your mouth, the taste of his salty precum and his smell overwhelming your senses. As you took him deeper, you applied more pressure on his prostate, all while keeping your motions random.
It was then that Barbatos’ poise began to collapse completely. He started wiggling his hips, thrusting forward and backward like he was chasing both the warm heat of your mouth and the shocks of pleasure your hand was providing with his prostate. One of his gloved hands came down to rest on the back of your head, fingers wrapping your hair and holding you in place as he used your mouth. He moaned as he fucked your mouth roughly, cock touching the back of your throat.
Then, a loud moan he released caused you to look up once more, only to meet his hazy gaze as he stared down on you pleasuring him. Your eye contact seemed to add fuel to the fire as the grip on your hair tightened, and his thrusts became faster. From how he was biting his lips and arching his back, you could tell he was close, so you ground your fingers against his prostate, harder than before, right as his cock was fully sheathed in your mouth.
With the simultaneous overpowering sensations, he came, sighing long and low as he filled your throat with his cum. You managed to swallow most of it, though some slid down your chin. After a few seconds, when he was done basking in the afterglow of his orgasm, he pulled his softening cock from your mouth, and you moved back from between his legs so he could pull his pants up.
Once he was tucked back in and pants buttoned, you figured you were done and went to stand, only to end up flat on your back on the bed, Barbatos straddling you in a surprising role reversal of earlier. You gaped up at him. His face was already back to normalcy, but his lips were shiny with spit and his hair tousled.
He reached up, taking off his bunny ears and putting them on you. He leaned down, licking the cum off your chin before whispering against your ear.
“Now, it’s my turn.”
#barbatos#barbatos x reader#obey me#shall we date barbatos#shall we date obey me#writing#hope you like it!#remember my requests are open!#comments likes and reblogs appreciated!!#happy birthday barbatos#bunny barbatos
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Good Girl, Bad Boy
Characters: F!Reader, Jared, Jensen
Pairing: J2 x F!Reader
Summary: Jared can't follow Jensen's rules, so Jensen uses Y/N to punish him.
Word Count: 2.2k+
Warnings: polyamory, orgasm denial, cock cages, dom/sub relationships, daddy!kink, dom!jensen, switch!reader, switch!jared, M/M sex, anal play, anal sex, oral (m/f receiving), a miniscule dash of fluff. Y'all this smut from the onset!
A/N: So @hoboal87 and I absolutely LOVE to discuss and theorize fics on Bee's Discord server. We work so well together that @writethelifeyouwant challenged us to collaborate on a fic. @negans-lucille-tblr provided the prompt, "Jensen needs to punish Jared, and he's using Y/N to do it." This was written through a series of reblogs, with Alex and I only writing one part at a time with no discussions about what the other was going to do. The original post is here.
Special thanks to @hoboal87 for putting all of the reblogs together, creating such an awesome graphic, and for finishing the fic when I had to tap out to go to sleep. 😂 This was so fun and I'm excited for the next time we do it. (I also highly recommend checking out Alex's masterlist. She has got some amazing fics on there.🥰)
My Masterlist
Alex's Masterlist
“Since you can’t do as you’re told, we’ll have to use this instead,” Jensen grunts as he fastens the cage around Jared’s now softening cock.
Y/N leaned forward and pulled Jared’s wrists up to hook them into the handcuffs attached to the headboard. Jared whined as Jensen grinned and said, “No touching now, baby boy.”
Y/N moves onto Jared thigh, positioning her bare pussy on top of him as Jensen ties Jared's ankles, keeping him spread eagle. Slowly, Y/N starts to rock forward on Jared’s thigh, spreading her slick along his skin. Jared’s gaze zeroed in on his shiny flesh as he let out a low moan at the sight.
"Nuh-uh, babygirl," Jensen scolds you, letting his voice drop. You were already tense from a day full of teasing and you both know its not going to take much for the coil to snap. "If you're gonna get off, you'd better have my cock in you."
Y/N stopped moving immediately with a small whimper.
“Remember that we’re punishing Jared for coming without permission. You don’t want to be punished too, do you? Now you know what to do next.” Y/N nodded as she ran her hand down Jared’s caged cock, to his balls, to his still gaping hole.
Slowly, Y/N started to tease Jared hole. Jensen had instructed him to keep a plug in him while he was in quarantine, edge himself over and over again, but no cumming. Jared, the brat, of course couldn't help himself, sending you a video of him jerking off, spilling himself onto his tan and taut stomach. He'd begged you not to show Jensen, but you knew better than to hide this from him, lest you get your own punishment.
Part of you just wanted to help Jensen punish Jared though. It was one of the few times that Jensen gave you some control. You still had the rules to follow, of course, but it meant that you could play with Jared and watch him become desperate underneath your hands, your fingers. You smiled as you teased a finger into Jared’s hole to press against his prostate as he jerked beneath you. Jensen laughed, “Better hold on tight if you’re gonna play that game Y/N.”
Your mouth waters as you watch Jared's cock twitch in its cage, and he lets out another whimper as you hit his prostate again. Jensen moves behind you, his hand connecting with the bare flesh of your ass. It's not enough to leave a mark, only to remind you that you might be currently domming Jared, but Jensen was the alpha in the room. You let out a low moan when Jensen's fingers run through your slick, and you can practically see the smirk on his face.
"My two perfect little cock-sluts," Jensen works his thumb over your tightest hole. "Whaddya think I'll be the best way to show Jare that he should always follow Daddy's orders?"
You shivered as you pressed back against Jensen’s finger. You worked another finger into Jared and pressed against his prostate again without letting up. Jared’s back arch and he let out such a delicious whine that had goosebumps rising all over your bare skin. Jensen slowly pushed his own thumb through the tight ring of muscles at your hole and you let out your own gasp. You worked yourself back and forth on his thumb before turning your head and asking Jensen, “Can I pick something from the toy box to use on him, Daddy?”
"I dunno, babygirl," Jensen tsks, slipping two fingers into your dripping pussy, causing you to gasp out. You'd been under the same orders as Jared; two weeks without cumming, and the feel of his thick digits inside of you almost sends you over the edge. "Our baby boy wants to be fucked, and I don't think it'll be much of a punishment" -- Jensen slides a third finger into you -- "if we give 'im what he wants."
Jensen twists and pumps his fingers inside you, searching until he finds that spot inside you. You pull your fingers from Jared’s hole unable to continue playing with him as you moan out. You lean forward draping yourself over Jared’s sweat slick skin as Jensen thrusts his fingers in and out, faster and faster. “No coming yet, baby girl. ‘Member what I said? Can’t come till it’s my cock in you.” You whined and nodded before pressing your mouth against Jared’s chest. After Jensen hit that spot again, you bit down into Jared’s chest leaving teeth marks as Jared gasped out and his cock twitched in its cage.
Jared tugs against his restraints, "please, Jen," he begs, "lemme touch." You love seeing Jared like this, desperate and needy, giving all control up to you and Jensen. You want to have his hands on you as well, but you'll have to wait until Jensen's done doling out Jared's punishment. The most you can settle for at the moment, is a rough and sloppy kiss from Jared. You run your hands into his hair, giving it a tug as your tongue licks into his mouth.
“No, no baby boy. Y/N was a good girl, she waited like she was supposed to. You were bad. You don’t get to touch. You don’t get to decide.” Jensen taunted. He came around the side of the bed closest to Jared. Jared looked up at him as you ran your fingertips down his chest, sucking dark marks into the tan skin as you went. Jared whined at Jensen again. “Please Daddy? I can be good!” Jared pulled involuntarily at the restraints again as you tugged a nipple between your teeth. Jensen smirked down at you both before leaning down taking Jared’s mouth hungrily with his own. You watched the kiss, feeling the wetness pooling even more between your thighs. Jensen pulled away and Jared chased his lips, but Jensen stayed just out of reach. “Why don’t you prove it, baby boy?” Jensen said with another smirk.
Jared nodded eagerly, and Jensen let out a barely audible good boy. Jensen brought his lips to yours and smacked your ass again with a command of ‘up.’ You lift your ass into the air, straddling your body over Jared’s, letting your breasts just barely touch his chest. The sound of Jensen removing his belt is like music to your ears, and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second. Jensen wastes no time, swiftly entering you and burying himself to the root. You’re glad he started to open you up with his fingers, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to enjoy this nearly as much. He holds himself there for a moment, before grabbing you by the nape of your neck, bringing your back flush to his chest. “Bet it won’ take ya long to cum, will it, slut?” he grunts as he starts thrusting into you.
You reach your hands down and grip onto Jared’s hips to hold on as Jensen thrusts grow harder and deeper. You can feel the coil tightening and tightening in your belly as Jensen’s hand slides around the front of your throat gripping just tight enough. His other hand slides down over your breasts and belly to start circling your clit harshly. You close your eyes and lean your head back on Jensen’s shoulder, panting. You feel Jensen bite at your neck before whispering into your ear, “Open your eyes baby girl. Look at what we’re doing to our boy.” You open your eyes and look down at Jared. His knuckles are white as his large hands are wrapped around the chain of the handcuffs and his hips are jerking up softly as his cock leaks precum onto his beautiful stomach. He’s making soft whines and whimpers that immediately make you remember the video he sent to you. The one that got him in trouble. Your gaze moves up from his cock and belly over all the little marks you left on his chest, and over his throat that is tensed as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with each deep swallow. Finally, your hungry gaze meets his and you cum with a scream as you meet his lust black eyes.
“See?” Jensen grunts, moving one of his hands down your belly and over your clit. He starts rubbing you, working you through your orgasm and straight into another. You’ve barely come down before the coil snaps again and you sag against Jensen’s body.
“Those who follow the rules get rewarded.” If you weren’t on cloud nine, you’d feel bad for Jared, his cock straining against the cage. “Whaddya want now, babygirl?” Jensen groans as he slows his hips. You’re too orgasm drunk to form any coherent thoughts, all you want now is Jared’s mouth, and Jensen seems to notice when your eyes fall on them and you lick your lips. “You wan’ Jared to eat my cum out of you?” Jensen taunts, and you nod your head.
“Okay, baby, because you’ve been such a good girl, we’ll let Jared use his perfect mouth.” Jared hums in approval, and Jensen speeds up his thrusts, and after a few moments, he’s cumming hot and sticky inside you. He pulls out quickly, and you can feel him dripping down your thighs as you crawl back over Jared, placing your pussy above his mouth.
You grip the headboard next to the handcuffs and lower yourself down. Jared leans forward and licks up your inner thighs collecting the cum that escaped your pussy. He hums happily at the taste as he makes his way to your still dripping hole. The chain rattled as Jared pulled against them again. His long tongue dipped into your hole as you pushed down onto him more.
“Would you like me to remove the handcuffs?” Jensen asked from behind you. Jared pulled back a little as you moved your hips to follow his mouth and said “Yes, Daddy.” Jensen chuckled.
“Oh, baby boy, I wasn’t asking you. I was asking Y/N. Do you want Jared to be able to hold you still? While he eats every last drop of my cum?”
“Yes, please daddy. Please let him touch me.” You whined out.
“Ok, baby girl. For you.” Jensen reached forward and opened the cuffs, releasing Jared’s wrists. His hands immediately flew to your hips and yanked you further down onto his mouth. You let out a gasp as Jensen warned, “That’s the only place you can touch for now, baby boy. No where else.”
Jared agrees happily against your pussy, humming as his tongue moves frantically through your folds. His grip on your thighs tighten, and you’re sure that there will be imprints of his hands bruised on you tomorrow, not that you mind. You grind your pussy against his face harder, chasing one final orgasm, but you wanted to be able to see Jensen when you came-- another punishment for Jared. His name, not Jared’s, is the one you’re going to scream out. As you feel your third orgasm start to crest, you stop, and reach behind you for Jensen, you don’t feel him there, and you let out a needy whine. You turn your head and see Jensen on his belly, tonguing Jared’s hole, and slowly stroking his now-released cock. You reach out and tug on his short strands, not enough to elicit a punishment, but just to get his attention.
“What’s a-matter, baby?” Jensen pulls up, and Jared groans at the loss of Jensen.
“Need you, Daddy,” you moan. “Wanna see you when I cum.”
You turn yourself around so that you’re now facing Jensen, who starts working his cock into Jared. You lean forward, so that Jared’s cock is right under you, you look up at Jensen with wide eyes, asking silent permission to take his cock in your mouth.
“You don’t cum until I say so,” Jensen places his hand on Jared’s thigh, and you know he’s talking to both of you. “If you do, I’ll only be using those slutty mouths of yours for the next two weeks, and you won’t be able to cum that whole time, is that understood?”
You lift off of Jared slightly so that Jensen can hear a “Yes, Daddy,” from each of you.
You work Jared into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him, hollowing your cheeks and taking him as deep as you can. One of Jared’s hands disappears from your thigh as starts teasing your hole, working you into a frenzy. Jensen either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, but you’re sure that he’ll make Jared pay for his disobedience later. When Jensen gives him permission, Jared cums with a groan, hot and salty down your throat, and you greedily swallow every drop.
Jensen then pulls out of Jared, stroking himself as his spills over Jared’s stomach. “If you’re good, next time I’ll cum in this tight little ass of yours,” he scolds. “Now, since Y/N is the only one who can be a good girl, you’ve got 30 seconds to make her cum, or you’ll be wearing that cock cage for another week.”
Jensen scoops up his cum with his fingers, and brings them to your mouth, where you eagerly suck them dry. It only takes another moment before you cum a final time on Jared’s face. You take a moment to catch your breath before crawling off of Jared, and lay down next to him, Jensen appearing at your other side, sandwiching you between the boys.
“Y’all miss me?” Jensen breaks the silence.
“You know it’s not the same when you’re not here,” Jared speaks over you. “Now that The Boys is done, you can have a role on Walker. Come home to us every night.”
#j2 x reader#j2 x reader smut#jensen x reader x jared#poly relationship#smut#jared x reader x jensen#collab fic#supernatural rpf
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Imagine...being single on Valentines Day and the Leverage team set you up on a date with Eliot.
Pairing: Eliot/(Y/N)
Warnings: alcohol consumption, fluff
Word Count: 4,615
Second post this week, I’m on a roll! Been feeling Eliot very much, and once this idea came into my head, I had to write it. Happy Valentines Day, and remember you can celebrate any and all forms of love. Hope you enjoy :)
As you open the door, you are blinded with red. Literally. Bright red decorations hanging across the ceiling, roses on every blank surface, balloons taking up the space the furniture doesn’t, and varied pastries and snacks themed with pink or red.
“What the hell?” You mumble, walking slowly into the apartment.
You close the door softly and run your fingertips over the rose petals of a bouquet. Then it hits you.
Today’s the 14th. February. Valentine's Day. Oh no.
You should have stayed home instead of offering to work the pub today.
’Why did you have to be so nice? Did Nate even say thank you?’ You reprimand yourself.
“Ah, finally, you’re here.” Sophie says.
You turn and see her standing by the couch, wearing a stunning red dress and gazing at you with an eager look. You’re getting a bad feeling about whatever is going on.
“Hi?”
“I apologize for Parker’s antics. She seems to have taken advantage of Nate’s approval. This is all a bit over the top, isn’t it?”
You stare at her with what must be a confused and lost look because she just smiles and motions for you to sit on the couch. You walk over reluctantly and sit, fidgeting uncomfortably. She sits and smiles, taking your hand in hers.
“I am very proud of who you have become while being with us. We don’t say if often, but we do appreciate you. Nate also appreciates you. Though he can’t seem to get it through his thick skull how much he needs you. I trust you very much and I know you won’t let me down. You look lovely today, by the way.”
You look down after trying to process her vague statements and suddenly curse yourself for listening to stupid Nate’s ‘recommendation/mandatory orders’.
‘Wear red. Go with the theme of today.’, his text had read.
You hadn’t really known what he had meant and since you weren’t exactly one to look forward to this holiday, the ‘theme’ he had mentioned had gone completely over your head. You had picked a simple dark red dress that had your specific likings, down to the length and skin it showed that made you infinitely comfortable and confident in it. It even has pockets!
“Uh, thanks? You look good too. But I’m kind of confused with-”
“Don’t you worry, darling. You will do great. I know you will. Now all you have to do is trust the process and be true to yourself. Be confident in the way I know you are. Don’t hold back and be honest about your feelings. Fear holds us back. Don’t let it control you.”
“Okay? But Sophie-”
“Ah ah, it will be fine. All will be explained soon enough. Don’t let me down, darling.”
She kisses your cheek and suddenly stands. You try to walk but she holds a finger up as she walks to the door. She opens it and the rest of the team are standing on the other side. They walk in, staring at you.
‘What the hell is going on?’ you think.
Parker and Hardison have curious looks on their faces and Nate looks smug as ever.
“We’re all going out tonight on our own little adventures as pairs but don’t worry, you’re not missing out on anything. We’re all counting on you.”
“Sophie, what the hell-”
“Hardison, when I told you to grab a box, it wasn’t a suggestion!”
You hear Eliot yelling before he comes into view. He stops walking and glances around the room.
“You weren’t kidding about the party. Where are you going?”
He looks over at the four of them and they just smirk at him. It all happens so quick. Parker and Hardison grab him, pulling him into the apartment. He struggles to resist with the boxes in his hand. All of a sudden, the door is closed and a lock clicks.
“First drawer on the left below the TV!” Parker yells.
You hear them burst into laughter and their footsteps fade.
Eliot stares at the door a moment before turning back to you. His face matches your thoughts: ‘What the hell just happened?’
“Did you have anythin’ to do with this?” he grumbles, setting the box down.
“No! I was just supposed to come for my shift today but then Nate told me to come upstairs first. What did they tell you?”
“They just said there was a mandatory team meeting today and to bring boxes in from the van. What the hell is goin’ on?”
You walk over to the TV and open the drawer Parker had mentioned. Eliot walks over and you see an envelope with hearts all over it addressed to Eliot and you. Well, at least that’s what you think it means. It only says: To the Two Lovebirds, Love Sophie & Parker.
You frown over at Eliot and find him giving you the same look.
“I don’t have the patience for their little jokes today, man.” he grumbles, going and sitting on the couch.
You open the envelope and start reading the letter inside.
“You both must be very confused about what’s going on, but trust all will be explained soon. We have big plans for you both today and wish you well on your journey of love. Don’t let us down.”
“Are they playin’ cupid or somethin’?”
“Um, I think so. It says we have to stay the whole day in here and if we try to escape we’ll face the consequences.”
“What the hell is this? I ain’t a hostage!”
“Don’t try to break the door down. If you do, you’ll owe Hardison a new van because that’s how much that high security door cost. We are watching your every move, so don’t do anything you don’t want us to see. We can hear and see everything. Have fun and if you succeed, feelings will be revealed and a happy ending will be your reward.”
“Happy ending?”
You suddenly realize what Sophie means and your stomach drops. Why did you ever tell her about your stupid crush on Eliot? Why is she so confident he’ll like you back? She is literally going to make you be so embarrassed and get rejected in the worst way possible: being stuck in an apartment with him and working with him. You could strangle her right now.
“Um, Eliot?”
“Man, I just wanted a cold beer today and to maybe cook a nice meal.”
“Eliot?”
“I’m goin’ to kill Hardison when I see him. I’m goin’ to hit him so hard his ancestors hurt!”
“Um, Eliot?”
“What?”
“I think we just got set up on a date by the team.”
Two Weeks Earlier…
“Really?” Parker exclaims.
“I’m telling you, it’s a great idea. They both like each other, we will just push the natural cycle of love a little faster. Who are we to get in the way of love?”
“What are you two up to now?” Nate grumbles, walking into the apartment.
“Do you think Eliot likes Y/N?” Parker asks.
Nate stops walking and almost chokes on his drink.
“What?”
“Oh come on, Nate. Haven’t you seen the way he looks at her? How he treats her? She’s the only woman in his world. But they’re both stubborn and afraid to make a move. I just want to move it along.”
“Well, what if they don’t? You can’t be sure-”
“Well I know she does. But you know her. She’s never going to tell him. We have to do something, Nate.”
“Sophie, can you just take a back seat for once? Let the man build up the courage. I mean come on, we never wanted dating to be a thing in the team.”
“Yeah and look what happened.” Hardison mumbles, tinkering with his new system.
Nate rubs his face, sitting down.
“Unplanned things happen. Look, maybe they like being single, or they aren’t ready-”
“Well, why don’t we find out?” Sophie interrupts.
“What? How? Eliot is never going to tell you.”
“Well, I know Y/N has feelings for him. I also know he would never lie to her.”
“Here we go.” Nate mumbles, leaning back on the couch with an annoyed look on his face.
“We cannot let both of them be single and unacquainted with their love for each other! That is a tragedy! We have to do something! Aren’t we their friends?”
“And how would we do that?” Hardison mumbles.
“What do we get out of it, Sophie? Another couple in the team and more risk. Maybe Eliot and her losing their focus. I can’t have that. We can’t have that.”
“A bet, perhaps?” Sophie smiles.
“A bet?” Hardison asks.
“That way we all have something to gain from this.”
Nate grumbles, shaking his head.
“Parker and me will bet on their love succeeding.” Sophie says.
“I am very confident in this little scheme of yours failing.” Nate says.
“Hardison?”
“I'm going to go with Nate for this one. Eliot doesn’t seem like the type to hold back his stupid charm.”Hardison says.
“Alright. What are each of you willing to lose as punishment for losing the bet?”
“I’ve always wanted to see what you store in that little storage unit of yours.” Nate says.
“My prized possessions?”
“Yeah, and if you lose, Hardison and me get to each take five things from it.”
“Five?” Sophie exclaims.
“If you’re that confident in the power of love.” Nate says.
“Fine. Alright, I can do that. What about you, Parker?”
“I think she shouldn’t be allowed to sleep with her bunny for a month.” Hardison smirks.
“A month? Without my bunny?” Parker whines.
“Or any other stuffed animal you have.”
“Trust the process, Parker.” Sophie mumbles to her.
She looks over to her and sighs, nodding reluctantly.
Hardison smirks, continuing his tinkering.
Parker looks at his system and smirks evilly, “I want to be able to play games on your new system for a month.”
He whips around and glares at her.
“What? On the new system? This took me six months to make!”
“Well, you’re so confident, right?” Sophie says.
He looks between them, panicking.
“But, but I just-”
“Are you going to do it or not?”
He sighs, looking back at his system.
“Fine. But can there be a time limit per day? It overheats, and-”
“Fine, two hours.” Sophie says, smiling at a frustrated Hardison.
“Fine! Fine. But if you break it-”
“What about you, Nate?” Sophie and the rest of them look over at him.
“He has to stop drinking for a month!” Parker yells.
“A month?! That’s ridiculous-” Nate protests.
“Oh come on, you’re the one who doesn’t think it will work.” Hardison says.
Nate looks between them before sighing and standing.
“This is ridiculous. A month. A whole month. Alright, okay. You’ve got your deal.”
They all laugh.
“Well, I see many benefits to this little bet.” Sophie says.
“I get to see what you hide away. I need more decoration, anyway. And I think you have great taste, Sophie.” Hardison says.
“I get to play video games and annoy Hardison!” Parker yells cheerily.
“I get to see the beginnings of love.” Sophie says.
“And sober Nate.” Hardison says.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Parker asks.
Nate grumbles incoherently, opening another bottle and serving himself.
“Oh darling, I forgot to mention that to set the mood, I’m going to have to get decorations, and their favorite meals and pastries.��
“Cake!” Parker yells.
“Yes, and lots of roses, and-”
“Just use my card.” Nate grumbles before slamming his office door shut.
They all burst into laughter, their new plan ready to be set into motion.
Present Time
“I can’t believe this.” you mumble, sitting on the couch next to Eliot.
Part of you feels betrayed by Sophie, but the other part of you feels strangely anxious and excited. She has to have some sort of confidence in him having some sort of interest in you. Right?
“Alright, so now what? We just stay in here all day?” Eliot protests.
“First activity of the day, preparing a meal. Who can nurture love when they are on an empty stomach? Using the ingredients in the fridge provided, prepare a meal to enjoy together and get to know each other more.”
“They better have gotten good stuff and not left a bunch of crap to cook with.”
“Well, at least you get to cook your nice meal?” you ask nervously.
Eliot looks over at you, smiling slightly.
“I guess. And I’ll be honest, you’re the person I’d rather be locked in an apartment with instead of any of the others.”
“They can hear you, you know.”
“I know.” he grumbles.
You laugh, smiling.
“Well, we might as well make the best of our time here. Not like we’re going anywhere. I hope you didn’t have a date planned for later today.” you joke.
“I did, actually.” Eliot says, standing.
Your heart skips a beat and your smile falters. Of course he did. Why were you stupid enough to think he would confess his feelings right away?
“With my couch and a nice cold beer. Can’t get much better than that. Come on. Let’s see what crap they left us.”
He walks to the kitchen and your smile returns. You walk over and sit on a stool, reading again.
“Before starting, look in a box located to the right of the fridge. In there, you will find two necessary things needed for your cooking.”
You look up from the paper, seeing Eliot looking with disgust at two pink aprons, filled with bright red hearts. One says ‘Hers’, and the other says ‘His’, with arrows pointing at each other. You can’t help but burst out laughing, seeing Sophie’s ridiculous ideas.
“Do we really have to wear these?” he grumbles.
“Yes, unless you want to see what kind of ‘consequences’ they have in mind.”
You take one, putting it on and smiling at Eliot’s obvious level of discomfort.
“Next, begin your cooking and remember, food is best when made and served with love.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Eliot opens the fridge and soon forms an idea for a meal.
You are chopping up vegetables for a salad and your eyes wander over to him as he delicately cuts and cooks the rest of the food. His eyes are meticulous and hands precise. He obviously loves cooking and is great at it.
“Do you cook much?” he suddenly asks.
You continue cutting.
“No, not much. No one ever taught me. You’d be the first. What-”
His arms surround you and his hands go over yours.
“Hold it like this. Less chance of cuttin’ yourself and it’ll be done faster.”
“Oh, okay.” you whisper, following his directions.
His body warmth comforts your back and you hear low sounds of approval as he watches you do what he told you.
“Good girl.” he praises before going back to the other side of the counter.
Butterflies form in your stomach and you almost cut yourself.
‘Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.’ you think.
Afterwards, he leads you to the very decorated dining table and makes you sit. He sets a bottle of wine down and serves you. He goes back over and serves two plates and brings them over. You almost laugh at the sight of him wearing the apron. He sits down and you mumble a ‘thanks’ before taking a sip of water. He smiles at you and motions for you to take a bite. You do, and you can’t help but nod your head vigorously and have another bite.
“This is so good, Eliot. Oh my gosh.”
“It’s because you helped.”
“Oh, please.”
You both clink your glasses and have a sip of wine, eating in comfortable silence.
“I didn’t get to uh, tell you before. You know, with all this stuff. You look good today, Y/N.”
You blush, looking down and hiding your face with your glass but not drinking anything. After a moment, you reluctantly meet his eyes again.
“Uh, thank you. You do too, by the way.”
He smiles and your heart beats faster. After you have eaten and cleaned the kitchen, you grab the paper again. Eliot rips rather hastily at his apron and throws it on a chair. You giggle and watch as he rolls his eyes. You take your apron off too and run a hand through your hair. You sit on the couch and start reading.
“Hopefully your meal has satisfied part of your inner hunger. Now, it is time to play a game. If you tell the truth, there will be no punishment. But if you do not, a punishment awaits. Grab the box below the bar and look in the box for further instruction.”
Eliot grabs it and walks over, sitting beside you. You open it and grab the paper on the top.
“Time for a drinking game. There will be a series of questions you will be asked from a stack of cards labeled with each of your names. Ask the person the question and if they don’t wish to answer, then they have to take a shot.”
You look away from the paper and see the cards set out on the table with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.
“Not my drink of choice, but I’m guessin’ that’s the point.”
“Before you start, there are two accessories needed to play this game. Look in the bottom of the box and once you have put them on, you can start.”
Eliot pulls out two red headbands with bright pink hearts at the top. You laugh loudly, seeing as Eliot’s face scrunches up as he stares at them in his hands.
“I ain’t puttin’ this damn thing on.”
“Oh come on, Eliot! The faster we do this, the faster we can leave! What’s the point of just sitting around and doing nothing? Let’s have some fun. Liven up your wardrobe a little bit.”
“No way in hell.”
“Eliot, do it for me? Please?”
His eyes stare at you with a curious look in them. He is reluctant, but eventually he gives in and puts it on. You try not to laugh at him again as you put yours on.
“There. Matching!” you say happily.
“You look cute, I just look stupid.” he groans.
You blush at his compliment and giggle. He rolls his eyes and hands you your stack of cards.
“Let’s just start.” he mumbles.
The questions start off pretty innocently and at one point, you’re wondering what the whole point was of this game. But suddenly, you’re reminded of Sophie’s wit.
“Have you ever had a crush on a colleague?” Eliot asks.
You blush and quickly look over at your shot glass.
“You’re gonna chicken out now?” he teases.
“No! Okay um, yes.”
“When?”
“It doesn't ask anything besides yes or no! You’re cheating!”
Eliot laughs, making you glare playfully at him.
“Okay, you go next.” he says, taking a drink of his beer.
“Okay, um. What kind of underwear do you wear?”
You burst out laughing as Eliot coughs.
“Are you gonna take a drink?” you ask shyly.
“What, you really want me to give you and the cameras a show? I ain’t lettin’ Hardison see anythin’. He’s already seein’ me wear this stupid thing on my head.”
“Yeah, I think Parker wrote that one.”
Eliot serves his shot and drinks it, grimacing slightly.
“Okay, you next.”
He takes a card and looks between it and you a few times. He clears his throat.
“Uh, what does your dream first date look like?”
You are taken aback by the question and you actually start thinking about it for the first time in a while. Dating hasn’t been a priority for you, especially lately.
“Well, I like quality time. So going out to eat, or taking a walk somewhere. Showing them something I really like, like my favorite film or talking to them about my favorite book. I think a night in would also be really nice.”
You look up and his eyes have a soft look in them. He smiles slightly and clears his throat as he looks away and sets the card down.
‘Damn it Sophie, your plan is working.’
“Okay, next. What’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent?”
You both burst out laughing at the change of mood. He shakes his head and genuinely looks embarrassed.
“No, absolutely not. Not goin’ there. Give me the damn bottle.”
You are still laughing as he takes the shot.
“Wow, not even a hint. Was it really that dirty?”
“Next question. What don’t you like about me?”
“Nothing.” you answer quickly, watching as his eyes snap up to yours. You curse yourself as you realize you let your thoughts get the best of you.
“Well, um. I mean, I can’t think of anything. Right now. Um, I don’t know you that well, I don’t think.”
He nods and sets the card down. Shit. You didn’t mean to offend him.
“Sorry. I think that’s the shot talking.”
“Yeah, you’ve only had one.”
You both laugh and you appreciate how it lifts the mood of the room.
“Alright. Um, would you ever kiss me?”
Eliot looks at you, a small look of discomfort on his face. His eyes soften, gazing at you.
“Are you going to drink? You can, you know.”
You laugh lightly to fill the uncomfortable silence in the room.
“Yeah, I would.”
“You would?” your heart starts beating faster.
“Yeah, sweetheart. I would.”
You stare at him, starting to smile.
“I think that’s the tequila talking for you.” you smirk.
“I don’t know, maybe.”
You both smile and you look down only to find that your cards are finished.
“Is that it?”
“Guess so. About time. Don’t know how many more shots or damn questions I could handle.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re getting pretty red, Spencer.”
He glares over at you as you bite your lip and hold back a smile. You grab the paper again.
“Congratulations on getting to know each other better. Now there is one last stage of today’s date. In a box in the bathroom, you’ll find accessories to use for your move night. You can eat the snacks throughout the apartment. Enjoy.”
Eliot stands and comes back with a box. You open it and the laughter makes its way out of you before you can stop it. Eliot frowns at you before he looks inside and he suddenly sighs and puts his face in his hands.
“Now you have found your matching onesies for tonight’s movie night. Enjoy your snacks and we hope you are comfortable. Again, we can watch you with the cameras so keep it PG-13.”
You laugh again as you pull them out. Sophie has picked one of your favorite animals and Eliot got a dinosaur onesie.
“Well, let’s go put these on, I guess.”
“They’re lucky I’ve been drinkin’ enough for this.” he grumbles before getting up and taking his onesie with him.
A few minutes later and you have both changed and picked a movie to watch together. All the snacks are on the coffee table and more pillows have been added to the couch. You don’t remember doing that.
“Do you think we’re livin’ up to their expectations?”
He looks funny holding his beer bottle with the top of the onesie over his head. He looks cute. How does he look cute? Oh gosh. You just shrug.
“Maybe. But we’re still here, so I guess.”
He nods slowly and takes another drink of his beer.
You shiver as the room gets colder and cuddle closer into the pillows. Eliot notices and watches as you struggle to find warmth.
“Damn Hardison must have turned the air conditionin’ on.” he grumbles.
You glare at the cameras, knowing what they’re up to.
“Here.” Eliot hands you a shot and you frown over at him.
“It’ll warm you up. Plus, it’s no fair I’m more buzzed than you are.”
You roll your eyes but take the shot anyway. You clear your throat and he takes it from you.
“Come ‘ere.” he grumbles, patting the spot next to him on the couch.
“You do know what they’re doing, right?”
“Are you cold or not?” he asks, looking lazily over at you.
Sighing, you make your way over and you tense as his hand surrounds your shoulders. He finishes his beer and lays back again. You start the movie and find comfort in his warmth. He pulls a blanket over you and hands you a bag of your favorite snack.
“How-”
“Movie’s startin’ sweetheart.”
You smile and appreciate his thoughtfulness. After the movie is done, several empty bags and containers take up the coffee table. You both have a short discussion about the movie before you fall into silence again.
You glance at your phone, “Damn, it’s almost midnight.”
As if on cue, you yawn and look back at Eliot.
“You know, I never thought I would actually enjoy today. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Even if I had to wear these stupid things.”
You laugh and nod.
“Yeah, I had a great time. I hadn’t really talked one on one with you before. It was nice. Thank you for cooking. Thanks for not running out of here, too.”
You both laugh and his gaze turns serious.
“You know, I was bein’ serious about what I told you. I know Sophie isn’t one to do these things without a good reason to.”
He doesn’t have to tell you what he’s talking about for you to know.
“I know.”
His hand is on your thigh and you bite your lip.
“The question is would you?” he mumbles slowly.
You only take a second to think before you gather all the courage inside of you and respond. All the months of you keeping your secrets and feelings inside suddenly come spilling out in one word.
“Yes.”
Eliot slowly leans forward. His eyes glance down to your lips and you both close your eyes as he gently kisses you. Your hand goes to his neck as his other hand pulls you closer. You’re so close to each other, and it’s better than you could have imagined. He pulls away and smiles down at you.
“Never thought I would do it like this, but I’m still glad I did. I might not kill Hardison, after all.”
You both laugh softly before he kisses you again, even more gently. Eventually, you both pull away and end up falling asleep together in each other’s arms. In his embrace, it feels as though nothing can beat the feeling. You wonder why the hell you waited so long to make a move. You thought you would strangle Sophie after this little stunt of hers. But now all you want to do is hug her.
Unbeknownst to you, the rest of the team has been in the van for the past hour watching the developments.
“My system. My poor system! I’m sorry, baby!” Hardison cries out, leaning his head on the desk.
They all roll their eyes. Parker cheers and claps her hands, laughing.
“I promise I’ll take good care of it. What kind of games can I play?” she asks eagerly.
Sophie smirks over at Nate. He slowly looks over at her, a look of disappointment on his face.
“I hope you liked your gift.” she says.
“You bought me a bottle of whiskey.”
“I know, darling. And I hope you absolutely love it.”
Nate groans, leaning back and cursing why he ever thought this was a good idea.
Sophie had stolen love all right, and Nate had secretly never been prouder.
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little jellyfish | seek
— notes: a short part series of little jellyfish. recommended read but can also be read as a standalone
— summary: maybe playing hide and seek isn’t such a good idea for you
— pairing: sea prince!bts x jellyfish!reader
— genre: fluff, poly!au, sea!au
— word count: 1.0k
— warnings: none
"Nineteen...twenty! Ready or not, here I come!"
The first thing he notices when he turns around is the purple and pink neon glow that already gives away your hiding space and Seokjin laughs to himself, already knowing how easy this will be for him.
He swims on over stealthily and from the corner of his eyes, he sees Taehyung trying to be discreet in his own hiding spot.
He'll get him next but right now you're his target.
"Shh, you'll give me away!" You hush in a low whisper at the little fishes behind the corals and boulders, body curled up together as you place a finger to your lips to hush them. He wants to laugh aloud, knowing that itself is untrue because you yourself has already given your own self away. But he stays behind you for a moment just watching. "I won't touch you, I promise. But um, you should probably swim away in case I accidentally hurt you. But try not to give my spot away alright?"
The fishes look at him with confusion and Seokjin giggles silently, placing a forefinger upon his lips for them to understand they must not say anything. So they look back at you and begins to swim away, leaving you be.
"You're really good at this game."
You jump at the sound of his voice and whines fall from your lips as you turn around with an adorable pout. "That's not fair!" You complain. "Was I talking too loudly or was it the fishes?"
"More like your beautiful luminescent glow," he muses.
"Aw man," you huff and catch a few strands of hair in your grasp, "these always give me away, it's not fair!"
"Come on," Seokjin chuckles as he tucks your hair behind your ears and holds your face. "Will you help me find them?"
Your face flushes with a shade of reddish pink and yellow, indicating your happiness. "I know where Yoongi and Namjoon are."
A few moments later, you're swimming over to Seokjin who's already caught Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok with an annoyed pout on your face. "Ugh, it's not fair!" You say, crossing your arms against your chest.
"What's wrong, my little jellyfish?" Seokjin asks with concern at the sight of your skin turning blue.
"I was going to catch them but they already knew I was close by and were quick to find another hiding spot before I could get to them!"
Jimin smiles with sympathy. "Oh little one.."
"It's all because of my stupid glow," you grumble, annoyed as you plop yourself right on a rock, cheeks puffed out with your little tantrum.
They look at one another before shaking their heads lightly with light chuckles.
"First of all," Taehyung begins as he swims on over to take a seat beside you, a hand running through your beautiful hair that holds no tangles and just allows his fingers to slide right through smoothly, "your glow isn't stupid, my love. I am quite fond of it in fact."
"It's special," Hoseok nods, agreeing, "the most beautiful thing this ocean has to offer."
"You light up our world after all," Jimin chimes in. "Nothing about this ethereal glow of yours is dumb, little jellyfish, we love it."
"But I never get to win in this darn game."
"We can play other games if you'd like," Seokjin suggests. "How about charades? Or capture the flag? Those ones won't put you at a disadvantage."
"Hmm, okay," you say as your usual glow begins to return and they smile at the sight.
"Are we still seeking for the others?" Taehyung asks.
"You guys can go, I'll just stay here until you find them all."
"Alright," Hoseok replies before placing a soft kiss to your temple. "We'll be right back."
You stay there at the post for a few minutes, waiting for the rest of them to be found while playing with little pebbles on the floor of the coral reef as a few fishes swim by, not too scared of the jellyfish anymore.
For a long while that had brought fear upon everyone you've met but ever since you've built a relationship with the princes of the sea, things have gotten a lot better. A few are still frightful but you don't blame them, you are a jellyfish after all, being able to sting others without meaning to, but a lot has warmed up to the fact of knowing you only mean well and don't really wish to hurt everyone you meet.
A pebble slips from between your fingers and someone touches your shoulders from behind.
"Boo."
"Jungkook!" You giggle as he swims around to face you and settle himself right in front of you. "They found you?"
"Nah," he says, rolling his eyes playfully. "You know I'm a good hider, no one can find me that easily."
"I did but you ran away before I could catch you," you remind him and he laughs.
"Alright fine." He pats you on the head as a reward. "So let's just say you did caught me, alright?"
"What?" You narrow your gaze at him suspiciously. "Jeon Jungkook is willing to give up such competitiveness for me?"
"You found me anyways," he shrugs lightheartedly. "Plus I'm still the last to be 'caught' so it doesn't matter. They're on their way back."
Not a moment too soon do the rest of the princes return to your sides.
"Princess caught you?" Namjoon asks with a raised brow.
"Yup!" The youngest of the prince grins brightly as he drapes a hand over your shoulders. "But I'm still the winner."
"No you're not," Yoongi says. "Jin hyung caught me last."
"But princess caught me after he caught you," he chirps. "I watched you getting caught, hyung."
"Fine, whatever," he sighs, knowing not to get into an argument about this when there isn't much of a point.
"Let's just play a game little jellyfish can actually have fun with," Namjoon decides as he holds out a hand for you to take.
You rest your palm into his, allowing him to help you up from the floor of the reef as you purse your lips. "Don't you have prince duties to attend to?"
"In an hour," he promises with a smile. "Right now we just want to have some fun with our princess."
You glow of a thousand starlights.
#btsboulangerie#btsguild#heartsforbts#bts poly#bts polyamory#bts ot7 x reader#bts x reader#poly bts#bts poly!au#bts poly au#bts poly relationship#poly!bts#poly!bts x reader#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts series
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SKIN IM BOUT TO BUY A 3DS WHAT POKÉMON GAMES SHOULD I PLAY IVE ONLY PLAYED BLACK AND POKÉMON GO.
oh man oh boy, personally i recommend omega ruby or alpha sapphire if you haven't played a gen 3 game (ruby, sapphire, emerald), theyre probably the most faithful and visually beautiful remakes ive ever played!!! plus it significantly improves on a bunch of new features introduced in X and Y that came right before it, like mega evolution and pokemon-amie (stupid name, but its the mini game where you can feed and pet your lil buddies!!!) plus the post-game is one of the best!!! it also introduces the DexNav, which lets you sneak up on pokemon you can actually see in the overworld, which at the time was a very big deal. The soundtrack? Fire. The intro sequence when you first start a new game? Fire. the map? maybe a lil too much water in the latter part of the game, but it’s FIRE. gen 3 did so much for the franchise with introducing new landscapes, weather, unique environments not seen in any other pokemon game. people CRIED when OR/AS first came out, because it’s like a love letter to the original games while introducing so many cool new features it felt like an entirely new adventure while DRIPPING with nostalgia, they’re so fun!!!
if Hoenn doesn't suit your style, or you want to start with something more original than a remake, another good place to start on 3DS is Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon!! those are the gen 7 sequels, theyre Very similar to sun and moon but imo enough improvements to cinematics and story (and pokemon available!!!) are made that it would save you the time of playing sun/moon first while still getting the full taste of the alola region!!! you can customize your player character which fuckin rules, AND without spoiling anything, if you play US/UM youll recognize some things from pkmn Black!!! gen 7 is visually stunning and has some of the best NPCs in the franchise, and is just super fun and rewarding to explore every nook and cranny. it's actually worth it to talk to the NPCs you see around bc sometimes it'll trigger little stories to play out or side quests to do, which is pretty unique for a pokemon game!!! it made the world feel richer, and lived in, very cool. BUT the Alola region is unique compared to other regions because they don't follow the Gym League Circuit model all the other ones do, they do what's called the island challenge!!! S/M and US/UM are structured differently (although not TOO differently) than any other game, so it's refreshing, but if you're looking for a more classic experience maybe start somewhere else first.
X and Y are near and dear to my heart, but it was a big transition from 2D to 3D, so they aren't as "polished" as the games that came after. hate to say it, but although X/Y introduced mega evolution in the first place, OR/AS does it better. They're still really fun though!!! they're the first games in the franchise where you can customize your player character, and the Kalos pokedex has a GOURMET selection of pokemon. gen 6 was the first game to really amp up the variety of pokemon available before the national dex is unlocked, mostly because this was the first time people were seeing their favs in full 3D, so they wanted to include as many as possible. the post-game is very lackluster, but the sheer VARIETY of mons makes replayability pretty high and enjoyable. there are 593 different pokemon available in x and y more than ANY OTHER GAME (besides swsh im pretty sure?) like. holy shit, right? you can build ANY team in that game, endless possibilities. plus im really fond of the characters they introduce, they’re so unique and adorable and dare i say..... found family???
i know you didnt ask about this specifically so feel free to ignore this part, but 3DS pokemon games can be pretty expensive, however they are VERY easy to pirate, and run great on most computers!!! you can even play the older games, gen 5 and below, on a non-apple smart phone with little to no issues!!! im pretty technologically inept and even I could figure it out, so if you want tips on emulation to get that sweet sweet pokemon content for free, i can help with that too <3
MANNNNNN im so excited for you, i wish i could go back and experience them for the first time again, how special!!!
#worldbreake-r#pkmn#i could go on honestly but those are my takes on the 3ds specific games hehe#if you liked black then im obligated to recommend black 2 or white 2 if you havent played them#like the names would imply that they arent that different from bw but they ARE#theyre SO different and SO good#but those arent 3ds games iirc#they do run on 3ds tho so if you really liked unova and feel so inclined i cant recommend the sequels enough!!!#thank you for thinking of me i hope this helps hehe
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Krenko’s Guide to Creature Types: Merfolk
Art by Greg and Tim Hildebrant
What is a Merfolk (flavorfully)?
Fish!
Merfolk are fish people with fish skin and fish fins and gills. A few of them look a bit more dolphinesque, but they all breathe underwater, so they’re all fish. They have two arms, but depending on the plane they’re from they may or may not have legs, with Zendikar and Ixalan’s Merfolk being bipedal while Lorwyn’s and Dominaria’s do not. Ravnican Merfolk don’t naturally have legs, but their association with the Simic combine means many of them have legs anyway, and some of them have huge pinchy crab claws or the ability to fly because Simic gonna Simic.
Merfolk rarely have hair and females reliably have noticeable breasts, raising the eternal question of whether Merfolk are Fish, Mammals, or something else entirely. The real answer here is that Taxonomy is a crapshoot and the lines are often a bit fuzzy. Merfolk are generally fitter and more attractive than humans, but you’d be fit and attractive, too, if you swam everywhere.
Shadowmoor’s Selkies are listed as creature type Merfolk, but it’s immediately apparent that they’re another type of creature entirely, being seal people rather than fish people.
What is a Merfolk (mechanically)?
Merfolk are the primary Blue Characteristic race, and have been since Alpha. Like Goblins and Elves, Merfolk tend to encourage go-wide strategies and have more than their fair share of tribal rewards, especially lords. What makes Merfolk stand out amongst other tribes is their tendency to get two-mana lords rather than three-mana ones, allowing aggression on par with Goblins.
As Blue creatures, Merfolk are also prone to getting various tricky abilities, but by far the Blue feature that empowers Merfolk the most is the incidental card draw, with a number of Merfolk replacing their own cards when played to allow their player to keep the pressure on.
Like many of the biggest tribes, Merfolk occasionally dip into other colors for a single set, going White in Lorwyn, Black in Shadowmoor, and Green in Ixalan and Ravnica. While Shadowmoor’s Black Merfolk were lacking, Lorwyn’s White added tokens and the ability to go even wider while Ixalan and Ravnica’s Green Merfolk used +1/+1 counters to make them even larger.
Because Merfolk are primarily blue, many have Flying, though on cards this is often depicted as them riding flying creatures.
Can I make a Merfolk deck?
Making a Merfolk deck is super easy. You take a bunch of cheap lords, then some cheap Merfolk, then some lands, shuffle them together, and call it a day. With Lord of Atlantis, Master of the Pearl Trident, and Silvergill Adept, the basic Merfolk shell practically builds itself.
In Modern and even Legacy, there have been great Merfolk decks available forever, so as long as you want to just throw down a bunch of fish and turn them sideways, you’re in business. For casual play, you have a whole host of options, with plenty of good Merfolk cards to build a deck.
For Commander, there’s a whopping twenty one Legendary Merfolk, and while many make great Commanders, I will always recommend Kumena, Tyrant of Orazca. As said before, Merfolk’s greatest strengths are lords and card draw, and Kumena brings both to the table, with a team buff that can last even after Kumena dies. Using Green for raw power and Blue for control allows Kumena to do great things, even if he was never actually a Tyrant of Orazca as the card claims. (He took the Immortal Sun for all of five seconds then got thrown out a window by Vona.)
Is Merfolk a good creature type?
Merfolk is a great creature type, doing its job well as a characteristic without fighting other creatures for space too often. Blue just doesn’t have another small, non-flying type that it can comfortably go to. Sure, Humans are omnipresent and some cards are Vedalken, but Merfolk are the go-to.
Merfolk can have multiple deck types, and function in both control and aggro, able to go wide or be more tempo based. They fit on most worlds, and they’re very easy to understand. And despite being iconically blue, Merfolk fit quite comfortably into secondary colors.
One flaw Merfolk has that it shares with many characteristic types is that it’s often difficult to determine what makes something a Merfolk and not just a ‘small blue creature.’ Goblins are frequently hasty and self-sacrificial, Elves pump out mana like it’s going out of style, and Zombies regularly come back from the graveyard, but Merfolk are just going around being blue. This is fine and an important part of the game, but ‘has a bunch of two mana lords’ is a really weird defining characteristic for a race of over 200 cards. This isn’t always a problem, and in Ixalan they’re clearly doing a ‘put +1/+1 counters on unblockable creatures’ thing, but it does make for a rather weak identity overall.
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No Nut November - Renjun
Huang Renjun – Smut, Crack, Fluff
Warnings: Explicit content, a lot of mentions of penis’s, female masturbation, male wet dreams.
Word Count: 2.4k
Summary: 00’s line take part in No Nut November.
The Rules of No Nut November:
You cannot have sex, masturbate, or nut in any way, shape, or form.
Watching pornography and having boners are allowed, but you can’t nut.
You are only allowed one wet dream. If you have more than one, then consider yourself out.
You do not have 3 strikes; you only have one shot at it. If you miss it, you’re out.
If you have passed the month with a total of 0 nuts, you are a victor and you shall qualify for Destroy Dick December (Not Recommended).
Look man, just don’t nut in 30 days.
Series
You were horny. You couldn’t find any other words to describe the tingling sensitivity you felt within the confines of your panties. You needed Renjun, and you needed him now. He’d spent the day with Jaemin, Jeno, and Haechan doing god knows what, probably playing video games and eating till they felt sick. Now as he sat on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his YouTube feed absentmindedly you decided now was the perfect time to get some dick.
You had the whole thing planned out, you were gonna start by kissing his neck from behind, then you would rub his cock over his jeans to get him hard. You weren’t quite sure about the next step yet, you would either suck his dick down your throat till he had you gagging, or push him back onto the bed and sit on his face till your thighs were shaking and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. You figured you’d just decided which option to take in the moment. But the final step in your plan was riding him until he took you to cloud 9 and back. You snuck up behind him, the first step in your plan now underway.
“Hey baby.” You purred in his ear, running your hands round his body to his chest and stroking it with lingering fingers.
“What’s up beautiful?” He didn’t take his eyes off of his phone, even when you started to press teasing kisses to the warm skin of his neck.
“I want you.” You got straight to the point, trailing a hand down to the slight bulge in his jeans. He was quick to grab your hand, pulling it away and turning his head to face you. You frowned at him, confused as to why he wasn’t jumping at the chance to fuck you when you were basically offering your pussy up to him on a silver platter.
“I can’t, sorry.” He shrugged, standing up from his spot on the bed and facing you as you knelt on the bed where he had previously been sitting. He’s never turned you down for sex before during your entire year long relationship, so this was completely baffling you.
“What do you mean you can’t?” You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly almost like a curious puppy would when hearing something they haven’t heard before.
“The boys bet me that I couldn’t do no nut November, I said I could.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “If I last the entire month without orgasming once then they buy me a laptop. If I lose then I have to do anything they want for an entire day.” He chuckled at the look of anger on your face. “Sorry babe.” He cupped your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss to your pouted lips.
“I hate you. I can’t go a whole month without sex, you absolute fool!” You gave him a whack on the arm, your sexual frustration getting pent up and making you want to slap the shit out of him.
“You’ll live! It’s just a month and you can masturbate! You’ll be fine.” He sat beside you on the bed again, pulling you close with his arm around your shoulder. “Lets cuddle.” His grin was pissing you off even more.
“Pfft, lets cuddle, what a complete cum rag stupid idiot.” You mumbled, laying down on the bed with your back to him. He laughed when he heard your non-threatening mumbling. “I wanted my guts rearranged by dick but all I’m getting is a stupid cuddle.” You snuggled into the pillow, your scowl threatening to become permanent. He wrapped his arms around you and spooned you from behind.
“You’ll get over it. Don’t even think about rubbing your ass against my cock.” His lips felt were soft against the back of you neck, his breath cool against the warmth of your skin and sending a chilling shiver down your spine. You huffed and closed your eyes, hoping a nap would dull the horniness into nothing.
Day 8:
It was a week later, day number 8 to be exact, when you decided you couldn’t last any longer. You needed Renjun’s dick. So, he was shocked to walk into his room and see you spread eagle on the bed, naked as the day you were born, rubbing your clit with two fingers and giving him a seductive look. You were even more shocked than him when he burst out into a fit of laughter. Your fingers stopping and mouth popping open to give him a gormless look.
“Why are you laughing?!” You closed your legs, sitting up on the bed and folding your arms over your chest, looking him straight in the eyes and trying to assert some dominance over him.
“You’re a funny girl.” He strode across the room, throwing himself onto the bed beside you and smiling widely at you making his eyes crinkle up.
“This isn’t funny. I need sex.” You looked down at where he laid next to you, glaring at him to show him how you didn’t find your needs funny. He just continued to smile at you, batting his eyelashes innocently as he looked your naked body up and down.
“Lay down.”
“Why?”
“Just lay down.” His voice held an authoritative tone that you knew to obey. You felt a light spark of hope flicker in the pit of your stomach as you laid down on the bed, opening your legs back up to give him access just in case he planned on needing it. “Be a good girl and you’ll get rewarded.” He smirked, sitting up on one of his arms to face you. He placed his other hand on your knee, very slowly and teasingly trailing it up your thigh, leaving a searing feeling behind from his touch. You watched his face as a substitute to watching his hand, his plump bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he concentrated on making you feel good.
“Please…” You figured if you begged he would be more likely to give you what you wanted.
“Such a brat.” His fingers ghosted over your slit, his touch light as it scaled up and down your wet folds. “Trying to seduce me when you know I’m not going to cave in.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against your, not wasting time to slip his tongue in the cavern of your mouth. With his tongue pressing to yours, he put pressure on your clit, rubbing it in circular motions and letting your moans slip into his mouth. “So, because you’ve been such a bad girl.” He removed his hand from you, smirking against your mouth before pecking your lips once more. “You don’t get anything.”
“RENJUN!!!”
Day 13:
When Renjun opened his eyes in the morning, the first thing he saw was you grinning at him with a wide, shit eating smile. He furrowed his eyebrows, a yawn breaking from him as he wondered what you had to be so happy about that early in the morning.
“Good morning Mr Huang.” You greeted him, sitting up and stretching your back out.
“What did you do…?” He asked with suspicion in his tone, his voice coming out groggy and clad with remnants of sleep.
“Oh my sweet, sweet boyfriend, it’s not what I did.” You reached over and pulled back the duvet, revealing his naked body to the cool air of the morning floating through the cracked open window. “But what you did.” You used to your finger to point accusingly at the pool of dried cum on his toned stomach. His flaccid dick laying against his thigh. “I enjoyed every second of your wet dream. As did you I believe.” You had a face of a cat that had caught the mouse, your smugness building in your chest and making you let out an evil like laugh. Renjun sighed, rolling his eyes and relaxing back against his pillow. “Anyway, now you lost your bet, get that bad boy up again so I can ride you till I see stars.” You swung your leg over his thigh, mounting his hips and smiling cutely at him. You rubbed your hands over his chest and bit your bottom lip.
“Actually, it states in the rules that one wet dream is allowed. So, my bet is still on.” It was his turn to be smug now, his lips pulling into a sadistic yet sleepy smirk. Your face fell faster than a skydiver wearing a ton of bricks as you rolled off of Renjun, kicking your legs into the bunched-up duvet as you started to throw a mini tantrum.
“FUCK!”
Day 25:
The stubbornness your boyfriend had shown over the past 25 days was actually rather impressive. You didn’t think he’d have lasted this long and you started to get prouder of him as the days went by, your mood doing a complete turn from when you were just constantly horny and angry. Those feelings fizzled out after you watched Renjun whine about being horny but being too persistent to give up on his bet. The poor man sat there with a raging stiffy in confines o his boxers, refusing to let you touch it and pretty much stamping his feet to the floor in need. After his boner had gone down without release, you stroked his head and gave him all the kisses he needed, telling him how pleased you were with his hard-headedness. You also apologised for trying to sabotage him in the early days. You were being strategic though, because you knew once the month was up he was going to give you some mind-blowing sex, and if he wasn’t still mad about you trying to destroy his no nut streak, then he would give you multiple orgasms. So yeah, your apologising was mostly to benefit yourself.
“What are you doing baby?” Renjun walked up behind you were you sat at the dining table of the dorm, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.
“I’m just doing a written plan of all the sex positions we are going to try at approximately 12:01am on December the 1st.” You shone a bright grin at him, then rested your head against his. “Oh and I’ve drawn some diagrams too.” He squinted at your poorly drawn stick figures, trying to decipher who was who and what body part was doing what.
“What position is that?” He moved a hand from the warmth of your waist to point at one of your diagrams. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what position you’d drawn the stick figures in, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
“It’s supposed to be doggy style but it looks more like I’m cleaning the floor and you’re just stood behind me…” You tilted your head too, trying to figure out yourself why you’d drawn it so badly.
“Why have I got three legs…?” You stilled at his question, letting out a soft laugh and rolling your eyes.
“That’s your penis, silly.”
“Why is it the same length as my leg?”
“Look it’s not an actual size diagram Renjun, enough of the questions alright?”
Day 30:
Today is the day, well…technically tomorrow is the day, but that didn’t matter to you. Because in less than an ten minutes, the clock would tick over to 12:01am on December the 1st, and you’d finally get to feel the sweet feeling of a hard, dripping cock nestled tightly within the space of your wet walls.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited about something before in my entire life.” You laid on Renjun’s bed, making sure his roommate was going to be out the entire night – yes you may have threatened Jeno but he’s easily forgiving.
“I can tell.” He laughed, lying beside you on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.
“I can’t believe you lasted a whole month without an orgasm! Your balls must be blue as fuck.” You giggled, lacing your fingers through his own. His hand felt a little bit clammy in your dry, cool hand. The heat from his hand warming your palm up, the heat meandering up your arm to spread throughout your body.
“They’re about to get a lot bluer…” He mumbled as quietly as possible.
“What did you say?” You glanced at him, not hearing his words.
“Nothing my darling.” He faked a smile at you, bringing the back of your hand to his lips and softly laying a kiss to it. You’d set an alarm for the magic minute, jumping up when it rang out in the room.
“Finally!” You mounted Renjun, turning off the alarm and hurrying to pull your t-shirt over your head.
“Actually…I er…spoke to the boys and they said they’re give me 100,000KRW if I participated in Destroy Dick December…so I said yes…if I have sex with you now then I know I’ll cum more than once so it’s best if I just do it myself...” The nervousness in his voice made it crack, gulping as he watched you with cautious eyes. Your silence scared him, especially when your eye twitched and nails dug into his chest, a slight wince marring his features. Anger boiled through you, rising up like a thermometer about to reach its peak temperature. “I’m sorry! Don’t be mad…we can fuck tomorrow!”
“DON’T BE MAD?! ARE YOU FUCKING HAVING A LAUGH HUANG RENJUN?!” Your scolding shouts could be heard through the walls, Jeno sitting wide eyed in the living room as he couldn’t help but listen to the situation happening inside his shared bedroom with Renjun. “It’s not going to be December that destroys your dick. I’m going to destroy it if you don’t fuck me right now!” Jeno burst into fits of laughter, finding Renjun’s difficult situation to be hilarious.
“Poor guy…” Jeno mumbled, putting his airpods in to drown out any more uncomfortable sounds that might resound from the room.
No Nut November: Huang Renjun – Success.
(A/N: Hey! I hope you liked this, please leave me some feedback if you could! Also, which member would you like to see next for the NNN series? I was just going to do it in age order but if I get enough people wanting a certain member next then I’ll do it that way instead.)
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