synmorite

[synmorite]

Obviously I haven’t read it yet, BUT I AM SO EXCITED YOU POSTED SOMETHING. I ran to tell @hoboal87 too. 👀👀👀

When the Lines Blur, Part One

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N and Jeffrey Dean Morgan have been a successful porn couple for a few years. When Jeff decides it’s time to retire, he helps Y/N find a replacement who might become more than just a porn partner.

Pairing: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader | Reader x Others (mentioned)

Rating: 18+ Only

Bingo Square: Pornstar!AU for @j3bingo

Warnings: tw: porn, tw: filming porn, tw: stepfather/stepdaughter porn, tw: teacher/student porn, language, p in v, daddy kink, creampie, mentions of drugs, oral sex (f and m rec).

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: A huge thank you to @princessmisery666 for the encouraging words when I started reading this one. It was meant to be a one shot until we started chatting about this one! Another big thank you to the beautiful @negans-lucille-tblr for betaing this for me 💖

I hope you all enjoy my first ever Jeffrey Dean Morgan fic! If he's not your thing, don't worry! Jensen will take his place in the next part!

Please consider leaving feedback, a comment, a keyboard smash… they really do fuel a creative’s muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM

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Y/N’S POV

“Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart, take Daddy’s cock like the good girl I know you are,” Jeff grunts in his alter ego, Mike Hammers, voice as he pushes his huge, throbbing cock into your tight, perfect pussy.

“Oh, Daddy! You’re so much bigger than my boyfriend! It feels so good!” you moan seductively in the character of Roxy Wilde, widening your legs and looking down your body just in time to see your stepfather’s cock disappear entirely inside you, making your moans louder.

“Yeah, baby girl, that’s it! I can’t believe I’m finally fucking my stepdaughter! What would your mother say, huh? Seeing her little girl all spread out f’me. Being a good girl and giving her daddy what he needs.” Jeff begins to thrust harder and faster, pulling your legs this way and that way, spreading your lips with his fingers to emphasise just how much his big dick is stretching your pussy for the camera.

Jeff’s hands slide up your body and toy with your tits as he increases his pace, and your moans get louder and louder. “Fuck, baby girl, Daddy’s gonna cum inside you, okay?”

“Yes! Daddy, please! Want your cum!” you scream, and Jeff stills, grunting as he cums.

Pulling himself from your centre, he growls as he watches his cum spill from your stretched hole and strokes your clit, using his fingers to push his seed back inside where it belongs.

“CUT! That’s lunch, everybody!”

JEFF’S POV

Sitting on the couch in his dressing room, he lets his head fall back with a huff. He’d been reflecting a lot on his future recently, and he knew he needed to talk to Y/N about how he was feeling soon.

Their older man/younger woman videos had skyrocketed him to the top of the game at a time when he’d started to feel his age in this industry. He’d been ready to say goodbye to his porn days when Y/N burst on the scene and asked him to be her partner exclusively. He agreed because the constant stream of coked out of their heads, super slutty women he had to fuck on camera, were becoming too much for him.

That, and she was fucking gorgeous. The idea that he’d only fuck one person and she’d only fuck him in return really appealed to him and made him change his mind. He decided to stay with her for a little while and see what happened.

It turned out that it was a great decision because she made him a very wealthy man. Still, that feeling was back again. The feeling that the wrinkles and the bags under his eyes were showing his age. He can also feel it in his body and knows he’s almost at the point where he can’t keep up with a woman more than half his age anymore.

A knock at his door brings him out of his thoughts. He smiles when the door opens, and Y/N pokes her head through. “Hey, Jeff. You got a minute?”

“Always for you, darlin’, you know that,” he responds. They’d forged themselves a deep friendship in the few years they’d worked together.

“So, I was wondering,” Y/N starts, jumping up on the dresser and crossing her legs, “if you’re okay.”

“What do you mean?” Jeff asks, tilting his head at her question.

“Well, you’ve been really quiet on our last couple of shoots, and if I’ve done something or pushed you out of your comfort zone, please tell me. You and I, we’ve always had a great relationship, and the trust we have means we’re more willing to push our limits and—”

“Hey now, it’s nothing you’ve done, I promise. I’ve just been feeling like it’s time for me to retire,” Jeff says, knowing he can’t get anything past her, so he might as well come clean now.

“Oh. Okay. Why?” Y/N asks, tilting her head this time.

“It’s just time, darlin’. I’m old and tired. And it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with you,” Jeff chuckles at her laugh. “I’m at the end of my career, and you’re just starting yours. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“You could never hold me back, Jeff. But if that’s how you’re feeling and what you want to do, you know I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate that. And don’t worry, I won’t leave you until I find someone worthy to replace me as your partner. That’s if you want to keep working this way, with just one partner?”

“Yeah, I do. I’ve never trusted a screen partner more than I trust you. And because of that, we’ve grown and expanded our… horizons,” she grins. Jeff laughs, knowing she means experimenting with things they won’t normally do with a one-time screen partner. 

Trust was increasingly hard to come by in this industry. There were a lot of assholes in it—actors and crew—who thought they could get away with anything they wanted and treat the female cast any way they wanted to. It was the main reason more and more female actors were coupling up like they had and why the ones that didn’t were turning more and more to drugs.

“Oh, offering to audition and approve my new partner, are you?” Y/N smirks.

“Yes. And I won’t quit until we’re both happy with him.”

“Aw, Jeff! You know you’re my screen dad and not my real one, right?” Y/N teases as she hops off the dresser and walks over to the couch. Jeff chuckles as she crawls into his lap and hugs him tightly. “But thank you. It’s not your responsibility, but I’d appreciate your help, and you know I’d trust whatever you said about the new guy.”

“Good. I want you to have another partner like me—one who’ll be good to you and you can trust completely.” Jeff wraps his arms around her waist and squeezes her tight.

“Is there anything I can do to make you reconsider?” Y/N pulls away to ask.

“No, darlin’. I’m getting too old for this,” Jeff kisses her forehead. “And for you.”

“Would you stop! You are not old. You are handsome and fit as fuck, and you’d have plenty more years in you if you wanted them. If you want to find another partner, you know I’m cool with that, too. You don’t need to stay with me.”

“Y/N, I stayed in this business three more years because of you. And I have loved every second of it. I’ve never worked with anyone better in this industry, and I wanna go out on that high.”

“You’re absolutely sure?” Y/N checks with him one last time.

“Yes. Absolutely, completely, utterly sure,” Jeff reassures her.

“Well, alright then. I respect your decision, and I fully support it. And you,” she kisses his cheek and climbs off his lap.

“Thanks, darlin’. That means the world to me.”

“Miss Wilde, this grade disappoints me. It’s not like you to get a C in English. Care to explain yourself?” Jeff leans back in his chair and subtly takes in the “pupil” in front of him: short skirt, bare legs, chest close to bursting out of her shirt.

“I’m sorry, Mr Hammers. I know it’s no excuse, but Tommy… he, uh…” Y/N sniffles.

“It’s okay, Miss Wilde,” Jeff softens his tone. “Tell me what happened with Tommy?”

“We were dating, and I was warned about him, but I didn’t listen… he only wanted one thing from me. Once he got it, he dumped me and moved on to Stephanie.” Tears blackened by cheap mascara and eyeliner cascade down Y/N’s face.

“Tommy took your innocence and then dumped you?” Jeff reaches his fingers out and lightly strokes her thigh. She doesn’t speak, only nodding in response and taking a tissue from the box to wipe her tears away.

“You poor girl,” Jeff sympathises. “You must feel so vulnerable and worthless. To give something so precious to someone so careless and undeserving is… it’s devastating.” He stands and saunters to the classroom door, flicks the lock and pulls the blind down before slowly moving back towards Y/N, who is still standing at the desk, her back to him.

He gently places a hand on her shoulder, turns her around and pushes her back into the desk. “You know, I see this way too often,” Jeff drawls as his fingers play with the hem of her skirt. “Boys like Tommy think they know what they’re doing with women. But they’re just little boys that don’t have a clue how to… pleasure,” he confidently traces his fingers under her skirt and places them over her cotton-covered centre. “It’s a shame how little they know about the female body,” he murmurs into her neck.

Y/N whimpers and unconsciously opens her legs a little wider, allowing Jeff to cup her pussy with his wandering hand. His thumb flicks over her clit, and she whimpers again.

“Mr Hammers, sir, what are you doing?” she whines but makes no effort to bat his hands away.

“Let me show you,” Jeff whispers. “Let me show you what it can be like, and I’ll let you resit the test, give you that A we both know you’re more than capable of getting.”

Y/N nods, eyes wide and innocent, and Jeff grins. He lifts her onto the desk, pulls her panties down and pushes her legs wide as he drops to his knees and pleasures her with his tongue.

Making porn videos is a bizarre experience. It isn’t sex; Y/N’s over-exaggerated moans and screams prove that, and so did the lube she usually needed to get ready for a video shoot. For guys, it’s much easier. There aren’t many men who wouldn’t get hard when a beautiful woman is naked on her knees and sucking their dicks, or spreading their legs for them.

It amazes Jeff that, after filming four videos almost every week for three years, Y/N’s pussy is still as tight as the first day he sank his dick inside her. And he still has to calm himself down sometimes so as not to end the video too soon. He’ll miss this when he retires. What forty-something-year-old man didn’t want to be balls deep in a gorgeous woman half his age?

“Please, Mr Hammers, I’m not… I’m not on birth control,” Y/N gasps in her ‘Roxy’ voice. A deeper, more sultry version of her own. “Please, don’t finish inside me!”

“I won’t, sweetheart,” he replies as he slams into her harder. They’re at the end game now. It’s time to wrap this up. Make Roxy ‘cum’ one last time before he covers as much of her body as he can with his release.

Jeff has always admired Y/N’s fake orgasms. They aren’t exaggerated or overly loud, which he’s grateful for. Maybe being in the industry has desensitised him to porn. Still, anytime he does watch it, the pathetically fake screeching ‘orgasms’ made him softer than thoughts of his ninety-year-old grandma naked.

“Alright, Miss Wilde, are you ready for that A?” he grunts, pulling himself from her warm, wet centre and jerking his cock over her body.

“Yes, Mr Hammers, please. My father will kill me if I go home with a C,” Y/N whimpers, spreading her legs wider, making sure the camera gets a good view of Jeff’s cum splattering all over her tits, stomach and pussy.

Y/N’S POV

THREE MONTHS LATER

Word spread quickly about Jeff’s retirement and that you were looking for a new partner. Over fifty men had applied for the job, and your management team, with the help of Jeff, had filtered that down to half. The remaining men were put through a stringent interview process, and thorough checks were done on every one of them. The eighteen who successfully passed were invited to audition.

Today was the third and last day, and you were relieved it was almost over. Taking six different dicks three days in a row wasn’t as fun as people assumed. You were tired, drained, and sore, and the sooner this was over, the sooner you could take a well-needed break from porn and dicks and lube and fake orgasms.

Not one guy has given you the same feeling Jeff did so far. You haven’t felt a good vibe from any of them yet, and the chemistry was appallingly bad. Only two men still had to audition, and you were quickly losing hope and the will to live.

“Jensen Ackles to the set, please,” your agent calls. You put your professional face back on, forcing a small smile and soft eyes for the owner of dick number seventeen of the eighteen you’ll have fucked in the past three days.

“Uhm, hey! I’m Jensen,” he says as he walks into the room, making sure to shake hands with every person there, leaving you until last.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to see me. I appreciate the opportunity.” This guy was more like it: professional, polite, charming, gentlemanly, and obscenely attractive. It reminded you of when you met Jeff and the attributes that drew you to him and made you beg him to be your partner.

“Oh no, thank you for taking the time to audition, Mr Ackles,” you smile as you shake his offered hand, pleasantly surprised when he raises it to his lips and kisses your knuckles.

Jensen must’ve seen your shock, quickly lowering your hand. “I’m sorry, this Texas boy was raised to always show the utmost respect to women. Old habits die hard!” he chuckles, and you giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a lovesick teenager.

“Don’t apologise for that. I find it cute!” You’re sure you have heart-eyes right about now, and quickly check yourself. “Alright, you’ve read the scene?” you ask, getting back to business and smiling when Jensen nods. “Anything in there that you’re unsure of or uncomfortable with?”

“No. It’s all pretty standard. I’m happy to do this how it’s written if you are?” Jensen replies, and you grin at his sweetness.

“Then let’s get to it! Everyone ready?” You check with your team and the few crew members there to ensure the audio and visual equipment runs as it should. “Alright. Places, everyone.”

Next Part>>

Tag List: @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[synmorite]

Sooo goooood. 😏

Need

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Sam

Warnings: the barn scene(15x20), major angst, injuries, medical nonsense, established Wincest, a/b/o dynamics, mpreg, talk of death/suicide, suicidal ideation, hints of depression, addiction, prescription drug abuse, unrealistic drug recovery, self-loathing, discussions of disability and wheelchair use, smut (hj, anallingus, anal), bits of fluff

Word Count: 6100+

Prompt: Renewal of Mating Vows

This was written for The Pond's Secret Santa Fic Exchange, @samanddean76 Happy Holidays and I hope you enjoy this fic =)

No beta, all mistakes are mine - I tend to have tense issues, I know. Thanks to @pink-sparkly-witch for letting me bounce ideas in off her, and @synmorite for indulging in my ADHD-addled ramblings 😂 Love you both ❤️

This fic includes potentially triggering content and is intended for mature audiences only. You are responsible for your own media consumption, read the warnings and if you see something that will trigger you please move along. If you have any questions about the warnings/tags please feel free to DM me.

My Full Masterlist

“I feel– There’s something in my back,” Dean grunts as Sam sheathes his machete, chest heaving and a sheen of sweat covering his body. The Omega’s scent was the only thing keeping Dean’s Alpha calm, and letting him think before acting, making his injury worse. Alphas were stronger than your average human, and if he’d been a Beta, there was no way that he would survive. He has a fighting chance– as long as he doesn't bleed to death first.

“Oh, okay, I– let me…” Sam approaches his brother–his Alpha– and inspects the wound. Blood plumes on the center of Dean’s back, and he isn’t sure what he should do next. Moving Dean off whatever is going through him could be more dangerous than leaving him on, especially considering where they are. The fucking vamps weren’t entirely stupid, unfortunately, and chose a place that was perfect for them to kill those little boys, but it meant Sam and Dean were now miles away from any useful help.

This is way beyond anything either of them could fix themselves, if Cas or Jack were still around, he could call to them. But, that wasn’t possible, not anymore. Sam runs through the options in his head, a crossroads demon - even if they were close enough, won’t deal. A spell from Rowena’s journals could help, but they weren’t here, and even if they were, Dean didn’t have the time for Sam to search through them. There is really only one thing he could do, break the cardinal rule of stay away from hospitals unless you’re actively dying, and Dean was very much going to die if Sam didn’t act quick.

“I’m fading pretty fast. I need– I need to tell you something,” Dean chokes out and Sam notices blood now also staining the corners of Dean’s mouth. He grabs his phone from his back pocket, and dials 911. He can hear a strained protest from Dean, but Sam ignores him, giving the barn’s location and begs them to hurry. “No– Sammy.”

“Dean,” Sam says with a stuttering breath, “I can’t– there’s nothing I can do. You need them.”

Dean knows it won’t do any good. He can feel the life draining as his vision slowly starts to tunnel. He needs Sam to know how much he loves him, how proud of him he is. “Sammy,” the word pains him to say, with each breath getting harder to take. “C’mere, please,” he tries to beckon Sam with his hand. “Please, Sam.”

Tears well in Sam’s eyes, as he moves closer to Dean. “You just need to hang on a little longer, Alpha. The ambulance– it’ll be here soon– stay with me Alpha, please.”

“Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you... right here,” Dean places his hand over Sam’s heart, “every day.” Sam can’t stop the tears from escaping, and he lets out a strangled cry. “I'll be there every step. I love you so much my baby brother. My Omega.”

“Alpha,” Sam cries, cupping Dean’s face in his hands. He presses a gentle kiss on Dean’s lips and moves a hand down placing it over his heart. Dean didn’t say the words I love you often, in fact, Sam could count on both hands how many times he’d said it the last ten years, ever since Dean had claimed and put his mark on Sam– there wasn’t a need for it. He showed his love for Sam in his own way with small gestures; presenting Sam with a new book to add to the vast collection in their library or even with just a squeeze of his hand. 

“I need you to... I need you to promise me,” Dean presses his forehead against Sam’s, and covers his hand with his own. “I need you to tell me–” Dean chokes, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I need you to tell me that it's okay. Please, Sammy, ‘Mega, I need to know you’ll be okay, I can’t–”

“Dean, I can hear them, just a few more minutes. Don’t give up, Alpha.”

Dean thinks that maybe he can hear the faintest sounds of the sirens approaching, but he knows it’s too late. If anyone asked him ten years ago how’d he thought he’d go out, he would’ve told them something not unlike this, saving the day, his brother by his side. But when he finally claimed Sam, something in him, his Alpha, his hopes for the future changed. He and Sam were even starting to entertain the idea of pups one day, but it was all just a fool’s– a hunter’s dream. Each breath becomes strangled and Dean knows he can’t hold on much longer. “I need you to let me go, Sammy.”

“No,” Sam shakes his head, “don’t ask me to do that. Please, Alpha, I need you to stay. I can’t do this without you.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Well, I don’t want to,” Sam chokes out. He can see it, the life fading from Dean’s eyes, his breathing becoming more ragged.

Dean’s vision tunnels, a fuzzy haze sounds in his ears as he looks over his Mate one final time, memorizing every line on his face, and uses what little strength he has left to pull Sam to him, their hands still entwined over his heart, and whispers against his lips, “goodbye, Sam,” before letting the darkness consume him.

Four months later

Sam walks the aisle of the grocery store, absent-mindedly rubbing the small swell of his stomach and filling the cart, checking the items off the list, before heading into the baby aisle and grabbing a few of the essentials. He’d started doing this months ago, figuring if he buys a pack of diapers, wipes and other items at every shopping trip he could make a small stockpile, and once the pup arrived he wouldn’t have to worry about not having anything. His pregnancy was a surprise, unexpected, to say the very least, coming at the worst time in his life.

He garnered a sympathetic look from the older lady behind the counter, her eyes falling to his belly, the lack of ring on his hand, and the faded mark on his neck. There was barely even a scent of Alpha– of Dean–on him anymore. Sam kept all the things that still had the strong scent at home, needing them to build his nest, and when he went out, he wore one of Dean’s shirts to keep the more bold alphas at bay.

Sam pulls into the driveway of his seemingly, unsuspecting house. It was a normal neighborhood, quiet, no one to ask questions. He grabs as many bags as he can, walking past the tarp-covered Impala, and into the side door that leads directly into the kitchen, making a mental note to go back for the baby’s things once everything is put into its proper place. 

A light padding of feet brings Sam’s attention to Miracle, who wags his tail at Sam as he gives the shaggy dog a scratch behind his ears. The dog whines, standing up on his hind legs and placing his paws on Sam’s torso. “You hungry, boy?” he asks, noticing the empty dish, and gently pushes the dog away. “Alright, here you go,” he says, irritation filling him as he pours kibble into the bowl, before continuing to put everything away, letting the chomping of food bring him some sort of solace as he calms himself.

Sam grabs the baby’s items out of the bed of the truck, watching with a small smile as Miracle runs around the front yard. He'd been cooped up in the house since last night, and needs to let out his energy before another case of the zoomies destroys the living room. Sam smiles politely and waves as a neighbor walks by, praying that she won’t corner him and try to pry information out of him. Ever since they’d moved here, he was the hot topic of neighborhood gossip.

After determining that Miracle was satiated, he whistles and Miracle trots into the house behind him. He makes his way towards what was decidedly the baby’s room, though there wasn’t much to show of it yet. A crib box leans against a wall, a car seat box sits next to it along with bags of baby supplies. He knows there’s still plenty of time to set everything up, but makes the mental note to start working on it sooner rather than later, especially with how things are now. 

Sam closes the door softly behind him, and heads back towards the kitchen. Some days are easier than others when it comes to taking care of himself, and today isn’t one of them. He plans to make a bigger dinner so he settles for a sandwich and chips, and it does enough to settle the hunger pangs in his stomach. He makes another nearly identical plate, and places it on a tray, along with a medicine cup with the set amount of pills.

There’s a glow coming from underneath the door of the master bedroom, and the low hum of the tv tells him that Dean’s awake. He knocks slightly on the door before entering, not waiting for permission, only to see Dean reclined in the hospital bed that took up a large section of the room. Dean doesn’t acknowledge his presence with more than a flicker of his eyes. His hair had grown out significantly, revivaling Sam’s length, and a scraggly beard, which Sam didn’t mind, but it wasn’t groomed. Dean’s eyes had dark circles around them, but they stayed glued to the tv until Sam physically put himself between it and Dean.

“Brought you some lunch,” Sam says as he sets the tray down. “I know it’s not a lot, but I thought tonight I could try my hand at Winchester Surprise,” Sam smiles, hoping to get a reaction– a smile, a laugh, hell he’d even take a scoff at this point. “You have your PT today, Jesse says you’re making really good progress,” he hands Dean the cup, but they both knew it wasn’t true. Sam had to force Dean to go to every appointment, and he wouldn’t even allow him to join in, so he really wasn’t sure how well it was going.

It truly was a miracle that Dean survived the damage to his spine– paramedics arrived just after he’d lost consciousness, and because of their quick actions, Dean was saved. Sam had never been so terrified, Dean had to be transported with the rebar still lodged into his spine, and he helplessly watched as he coded two more times in the ambulance before they arrived at the hospital and he was rushed into surgery. Dean was on the operating table for hours upon hours, and by the time the sun came up a surgeon gave Sam the news that Dean was going to be okay.

“I thought you could come with me to my appointment too,” Sam suggests as Dean gulps down the pills. “It’s a scan too, we can see the pup, they might be able to tell us if they’re a boy or girl, if they decide to cooperate this time. They must get their stubbornness from you,” Sam jokes. “We can stop at that bakery, get my Alpha his favorite pie?”

“Whatever,” Dean grunts, taking the sandwich off the plate, still not making eye contact with Sam. He hated this, the damage done to his spine nearly left him paralyzed. The surgeons, he was told, were able to fix the nerve damage to an extent, he’d have to essentially learn how to walk again and even relearn how to do some motor skills in his hands. Surprisingly, relearning some functions in his hands and arms was the easy part and for a brief time things were almost back to normal between him and Sam. But, when Sam told him that he was going to be a father, he started pushing himself harder. Too hard. He aggravated the nerve damage, leading him to be operated on again, and even worse a heavy reliance on Oxycodone– the pain was unbearable, PT wasn’t helping, but the oxy helped numbed him. Dean doesn’t know when it happened exactly, but at some point he just couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, get out of bed and rejoin the world.

He’s the Alpha, he should be taking care of Sam– Sam who was doing everything to keep things positive, he was carrying Dean’s pup, he should be nesting, getting ready for the pup, but everyday he’s here, taking care of Dean. Making sure he eats, showers, goes to PT, takes him to all his appointments, and yet, he couldn’t muster the same energy for him. The wheelchair in the corner of the room taunts him. He was nearly ready to stop using it entirely, relying just on a cane before he went and pushed himself too hard and set himself back months.

It’s nearly 5 by the time Sam and Dean get back home. His PT went about how it always does- Sam sits out in the waiting room, and he makes minimal progress but it’s treated as if he’d ran a marathon. Sam’s appointment was in the same building, and he couldn’t contain his excitement as the technician called out Winchester. No one knew they were brothers here, and while sibling matings were not illegal, they weren’t exactly common, especially between brothers. They just accepted they were mates and moved on. Sam was elated when he saw their pup on the screen, counting 10 fingers and 10 toes, noticing that the pup already appeared to have his nose and Dean’s lips. He hoped the pup would have Dean’s eyes too, he was excited to meet them, but he still had nearly three months to go. Dean was quiet throughout the appointment, Sam asked him not to push himself too hard, and now even though neither of them would say the words out loud, they both knew Dean had fallen into a deep depression.

“Would you like to know the sex?” the sonographer asks as she rolls the wand over Sam’s swollen belly. “The pup’s in the perfect position.” Sam looks over to Dean who is frustratingly staring off into space. If he wasn’t going to be present, he could’ve stayed in the waiting area. He knows Dean’s hurting and frustrated with his setback in healing, but this is the first time Sam’s asked anything of him in months, and he couldn’t even pretend to be interested in their growing family. 

“Yes,” Sam nods his head, “please.”

“It’s a boy!” The doctor beams, “Congratulations Sam, Dean.” Dean doesn’t acknowledge her words, or make any indication that he even heard what she said. The doctor continues examining the pup, stating that everything appears to be normal, but because of Sam’s “advanced” age, which wasn’t entirely wrong, most Omega’s didn’t wait until their late thirties to have their first pup, but life didn’t afford him that convenience, she asks that Sam comes back in a month for another scan. “You’re doing great, Sam,” she says as she ends the exam. “Remember to not push yourself too hard, keep up the healthy eating, but listen to your body.” She prints out several pictures of the pup, and Sam mentally notes to replace the one’s from his previous scan on the bedside table.

Dean doesn’t say anything. He can feel Sam staring daggers into him, but he can’t open his mouth and say the words he wants to. A boy, he was going to have a son, and here he was barely able to walk for more than a few minutes at a time. He couldn’t even keep up with Miracle, he couldn’t do much more than lay in bed and take oxy after oxy after oxy. It was a problem– he watched Sam struggle with his addiction, and he recognized the signs within himself, but the fear of the pain that he knew awaited him when he would no longer be getting them through legitimate means. He’d already solved that problem long ago, practically unlimited money and virtual doctor’s appointments meant he was able to get his hands on more pills than he could ever need.

He isn’t stupid, Sam monitors his pill intake closely, and he knows how easily it would be for him to overdose, and he’s thought about it on more than one occasion. What’s stopped him from doing it, he’s not entirely sure, maybe it's the thought of leaving Sam pregnant and alone, Omega’s weren’t known to survive long without their Alpha’s– the only thing that he could do is let their Mating Bond break. It was easy enough, push Sam away, no marking, scent or otherwise, no fucking, distancing himself would, in the end be the best thing for Sam and the pup, and maybe one day he would be able to find another Alpha to take care of him. Of their son.

Sam offers Dean a hand as he opens the truck’s door. Dean pushes it away and lets out an annoyed huff, they both know that Dean could make it into the house, but it’s been a big day for them and Sam didn’t want Dean overexerting himself just to try to prove himself as a big, bad, Alpha. Sam wonders if their son will inherit Dean’s stubbornness, he’d be a strong Alpha just like his daddy, Sam is sure of it. Dean lets out a grunt as he sits himself down on the couch in the living room, he hadn’t said anything since leaving his PT, too afraid of what might slip out if he opens his mouth.

“I’m gonna start on dinner,” Sam says, stopping at the couch to place a kiss on Dean’s forehead, “I’m so proud of you Alpha, I know it was a lot today. But I’m glad you were with me.” Dean doesn’t do much more than nod his head. He can’t keep doing this to Sam, he wished that he would’ve just let him die in that barn. He didn’t want to be saved. He was ready to go, he’d made peace with his fate, but Sam just couldn’t let it happen. 

Dean does his best to be pleasant, letting Sam ramble on about finishing the nursery, deciding on names, he nods occasionally, enough to make Sam feel like he’s listening, but all he’s really thinking about is all the things he wants to tell Sam, but to tell him would tip him off so he remains silent. After dinner Sam takes Miracle out for a walk, and Dean knows this is his opportunity. Making his way to his and Sam’s shared room, though it was more his- his injuries making it nearly impossible for Sam to settle into the room, but his perfect Omega didn’t complain, we have plenty of time to make it ours, he said. He stops at the nursery, pushing the door ajar.

He’d made it a point to not go into the room. But he found himself wandering in, imagining what it could look like by the time the pup arrived. He could see a soft blue painted on the walls, he’s never been one for themes but feels a wallpaper covered in classic cars would fit perfectly. Dean could see Sam, sitting in a rocking chair holding their son in his arms, almost as if it were happening right in front of him. They deserved better than a broken Alpha. 

Dean grabs the illegally obtained oxy out from its hiding spot. He always wondered if tonight would be the night where he would accidentally overdo it, but still he couldn’t stop himself from swallowing the handful of pills. He would be, at the very least, high when Sam returned, and he was okay with that, even though another part of him hated that he was okay with being high more often than not these days. He lets the fog of the oxy warm his body, a haze blurring his vision as he collapses against the bed.

Sam shrugs off his jacket as he and Miracle enter the house, today was a good day, he thinks. According to Jesse, Dean is getting back to where he was before his setback a few months ago. PT always took all of Dean’s not just physical but mental energy for the rest of the day. He hopes that maybe by the time the pup is born Dean will only need to use a cane, and by his first birthday he’d be able to walk unassisted again. Sam walks down the hall to their bedroom, noticing the nursery’s door open, “weird,” he thinks aloud. He finds Dean asleep in the bulky hospital bed, his personal goal was to rid their room of that monstrosity next, he makes a mental note to ask Dean’s doctor the next time they’re there, and maybe he can finally nest properly in their home. There’s a king size bed sitting in the guest room, waiting to take its proper place in the master.

For now, the full size bed does fine, he’s able to reach over in the middle of the night and grab Dean’s hand, but all he wants is to be able to sleep in the same bed as his mate again. He tugs off his t-shirt and pulls on a pair of pajama bottoms before sliding into bed, and the sound of Miracle settling on the floor gives him the final bit of comfort he needs to let sleep consume him. 

Sam wakes before Dean, not anything new, he has always been the early riser, but this morning there’s a rattling that also grabs his attention. An orange prescription bottle sits on the edge of the bed. Sam doesn’t think much of it at first, he knows that sometimes Dean takes an extra pill at night, usually after a particularly exhausting day, and the doctor okayed it, as long as it wasn’t excessive. They were supposed to be weaning him off the oxy, using more PT to help with the pain. He grabs the bottle, wanting to put it back into its proper place in the kitchen, when something about the bottle catches his attention. Not only was the bottle not prescribed by Dean’s doctor, it was made out to James Hetfield. He doesn’t know if he should confront Dean about the forgery, maybe he was afraid of running out before the next fill could be made. Only one bottle, while it would be needing to be addressed at some point, didn’t set off any major alarms.

He decided it should go back into the bedside drawer, that was where he had seen Dean keep his medications before. He slides off the bed, and shuffles to Dean’s side, who’s still sleeping soundly. He reaches for the drawer, and as he pulls it out, the rattling of more bottles fill the silence of the room. There are nearly a dozen pill bottles rolling around. There was no way that these were all his prescription bottles. This is a much bigger problem than Sam was expecting.

Dean wakes to a ray of sunlight streaming through the blinds into the bedroom, why they haven’t hung blackout curtains yet, Dean’ll never know. He rubs his hands down his face- he really needed to shave, Sam hasn’t said anything, but he knows that he’s not feeling the ZZTop look on him. He felt good today, almost normal. Maybe he could join Sam on Miracle’s morning walk, though, for him the wheelchair would most likely be a requirement. He swings his legs off the bed, he’s sure that Sam is just as ready as he is to be rid of the clunky bed. He shuffles towards the hall and sharp pain radiates through him– maybe it wasn’t going to be as good of a day as he hoped. He takes a deep breath, and the pain dulls, he’ll need his oxy and soon.

He hobbles toward the kitchen, Sam usually brings him his morning pills and breakfast, but he figures he'll give him a surprise and meet him in the kitchen so that they can eat together. He turns the corner into the kitchen and his heart drops into his stomach at the sight in front of him; pill bottles are sitting on the table and Sam sits at the end, his expression somewhere between pissed off and terrified. He doesn’t know how to explain this to Sam.

Sam rubs the curve of his stomach, staring at the bottles, several were nearly empty, some hadn’t even appeared to be touched, and not a single one was prescribed to Dean. Once he started looking, he found bottles hidden all over the house, there had to be over a year’s supply, tens of thousands of dollars all in pill form. Dean clearly has a problem, and Sam curses himself for not noticing.

“I, uh–” Dean grunts as he steps over the threshold and into the kitchen. “I can explain.”

“Okay,” Sam scoffs, he can’t wait to hear this. “Explain. Explain why there are nearly twenty bottles of Oxycodione on this table, better yet, explain why each one of them has a different name on them.”

He doesn’t have any real explanation, and both he and Sam know it. Dean splutters, “I need them.”

“You need them,” Sam repeats incredulously. “You’re supposed to be getting off these by the end of the month Dean!” Dean plops down on the seat across from Sam, his eyes stay fixed on the table, unable to look his Omega mate in the eyes. “We talked about this Dean, your doctor told you, you should’ve been off these entirely weeks ago! I know you still have pains, and that’s why I haven’t pushed the subject, but Dean this is– this is a problem. What were you planning on doing with all these?”

Dean doesn’t say the words. He can’t admit to what he thinks about doing all the time, and the pills are the only thing that make him numb and high enough to not do it.

“You should’ve let me go,” Dean murmurs, and Sam sinks back into his chair. “I told you to let me go in the barn. I was ready to go. I accepted it. But you– you couldn’t let me, and now– look at me Sam!”

“You’re here, Dean, not because angels or demons intervened, but just doctors working tirelessly to put you back together.”

“And a lot of good it’s done!” Dean shouts, slamming his fists on the table, making a handful of bottles tip over. “What good am I to you, to our pup, like this?! I can’t even be an alpha, I can’t take care of either of you. If you’d let me go, you could’ve found another alpha, another mate. You deserve that, Sam, our pup deserves that.”

“I don’t want another alpha, Dean! All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted is you, and you asked me to let you die. I couldn’t not do something, I had to try to get you help. Fuck you for being pissed off about that. You think this is how I imagined our lives would be now?”

“Then you should’ve let me go!”

“I couldn’t do it, Dean! And I’m not gonna keep apologizing for it,” Sam shakes his head. “I would do it over and over and over again. You think you’re the only one who’s tired, who’s hurting, Dean? You don’t think there are days where all I want to do is lay in bed all day and shut out the world? You’re not the only going through shit, Dean. I tried so hard to reach out to you, but you’ve been like a brick wall, you won’t let me help you, you won’t let me in. I thought– I thought seeing the pup would snap you out of it, but all you did was stare off into nowhere,” a realization dawns on Sam, one Dean hoped he’d never make. “You were high yesterday, weren’t you?” he glares at him. “You’re high now,” it’s not a question.

“I just need it– I need it to function Sam.”

“You’re NOT functioning Dean, and you can't even see it! You're a shell, I’m going. I can’t– I can’t live like this. You won’t let me help you and I’m not gonna watch you slowly kill yourself.” Dean doesn’t notice the bag sitting at Sam’s feet until he reaches for it. “Call me once you’ve figured out what it's gonna be– me and the pup or this,” he gestures to the bottle-covered table.

Sam’s been gone for nearly a month. He texts every morning and night, giving Dean the small bit of solace that at least wherever he is, he’s doing okay. It’s not that he didn’t think he had a problem, he knew he did. But, the fear of the pain that he felt in his initial recovery scared him more than anything. He didn’t want to be some dead-beat dad, too stoned to even know what was going on around him. He’d spent his childhood hiding that side of John from Sam, and he promised himself then that he wouldn’t be like that with his own kid. Here he is though, their pup isn’t even in the world yet, and Dean is already letting him and Sam down. 

He goes cold turkey and it sucks ass, he keeps telling himself that he has to do it, not only for Sam and the pup but for himself. Sam was right, he wasn’t functioning, he was living his life in a fog, and he couldn’t do it anymore. It’s still difficult for him to get around, but when he does the PT that he should’ve been doing all along, it becomes more bearable for him. He knows what Sam would say, he’d heard him saying hundreds of times over the last four months; you’re strong, Dean, a fighter, you can’t let your fear of being weak stop you from asking for help or receiving it.

With each passing week one thing becomes abundantly clear to Dean: he can’t do it without Sam. He needs his brother, his Omega, his mate just as much as Sam and their pup will need him. He’s ready to beg and plead for Sam to come home, to show him just how much they mean to him. Sam answers the call on the first ring, and Dean can hear the wariness in his tone, but if there’s one thing he can’t resist, it's his Alpha demanding he come home.

Sam walks through the door unsure of what to expect from Dean, addicts will say anything to get what they want- he knows from his own experiences, but Dean sounded sincere, and when he asked him to come home he couldn’t not obey his Alpha. The house is silent, save for a muffled thumping of music. Sam makes his way through the hall, calling out for Dean but with no answer, and stops at the nursery door, determining it to be the source of the music.

He opens the door easily, and finds Dean on the floor in the middle of the room, singing along to Metallica as he fiddles with a diaper genie. Sam takes in the room in awe. The walls are painted with soft green and blue stripes, the slight smell of the fumes indicating that it had to have been done within the last day or so. The crib, which when Sam left, was still in the box, was now set up in the corner of the room. A glider sits adjacent to it, and the changing table on the opposite wall. Clothes that were previously in bags haphazardly throughout the room were now sorted it appeared, and some are even hanging in the closet. A mountain of diaper boxes sits next to the changing table, which also has more packages of wipes than Sam thought was even possible. He could cry, in fact, before he can even stop it, tears stream down his cheeks. 

“‘Mega,” Dean turns when he notices the change in the air. “Sammy, what’s wrong?” he says as crosses the room to wrap his arms around him. “If you don’t like it, we can change it,” Dean offers as pulls away briefly, “I just thought…”

“It’s perfect, Alpha,” Sam shakes his head, letting out a small laugh. “When– when did you do all this? How? You shouldn’t be overexerting yourself!”

“It’s fine, ‘Mega,” Dean rubs Sam’s arms and leans forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. It’s their first real kiss in months, and with every passing second it becomes deeper and more passionate. Dean nips at Sam’s bottom lip, and a groan leaves him.

“Alpha, please,” Sam begs, wrapping his arms around Dean. It’s been too long since they’ve been together like this, and he can feel his hole slick at the thought of being together with him again. “I need you.”

Dean doesn’t need more permission than that, he needs Sam just as much as Sam needs him, and he brings them both down to the carpeted floor. He doesn’t know if he can make it last as long as he wants to- he and Sam hadn’t fucked since before the night he almost died, and all he wants to do now is reclaim his Omega. They’re tearing each other's clothes off between kisses, Sam paws at Dean’s cock, already hard and ready to knot his needy mate. 

“Turn around, ‘Mega,” he commands gently, “hands and knees.” Sam lets out a whine, Dean knows what he wants, fuck he wants it too, he wants to look into Sammy’s eyes as he sinks into him for the first time in nearly six months, wants to watch as he comes undone on his cock, but he knows there will be plenty of time for that later. “I promise you Sammy, I will make you come over and over, but for now I need you to present for me, Omega.”

Sam obeys, propping himself up on his elbows and wiggles his ass in Dean’s direction. He tries reaching for his own cock, trying to relieve some of the need, but his growing belly makes it difficult. Sam lets out a shuttering groan when Dean licks up his seam and tongues his hole. He doesn’t need Dean to get him ready, he can feel the slick already leaking out of him, but Dean doesn’t stop, fucking his ass with vigor until Sam’s on the verge of cumming untouched.

“Dean, Alpha, please! I need your knot,” Sam begs, tears stinging his eyes. Dean doesn’t need to be told twice, and as much as he loves watching Sammy become a needy cockslut, that isn’t what he needs now. He lines himself up and pushes into Sam’s tight, warm ass, and almost cums in an instant. Sam squeezes around him, and Dean curves himself around him, grabbing Sam’s cock and jerking it in time with his thrusts. Neither of them are going to last long, they both know that.

“I love you so much, Sammy.” Dean grunts into Sam’s ear, “you are the perfect Omega, you were made for me. You look so fucking beautiful carrying my pup inside you. I can’t wait until I can do it again and again. I’ll never let you down again, Sammy, you are my everything.”

“Dean,” Sam’s breathless, so close to the edge, “knot me, claim me, Alpha. I want everyone to know I’m yours, that you’re mine. I love you.”

Dean’s knot swells, and he’s locked inside Sam as he bites down on his mating gland, coating Sam’s walls with his cum. His orgasm triggers Sam’s, and he’s spilling all over Dean’s hand as he works him through his orgasm. Dean doesn’t stop, he licks the blood away from the bite and pulls Sam up so his chest is flush with Sam’s back. “Gimme another one Sammy, I know you can.” Dean grunts as he jerks Sam’s cock with one hand and plays with Sam’s nipple with the other, they’re going to be locked like this for a while, and Dean knows he can coax at least one more orgasm out of him.

By the time the sun has set the brothers are no longer connected, but are wrapped in each other's arms as they count kicks from the growing pup. Sam is in a euphoric haze as Dean traces patterns on his swollen belly. The brother’s had lost each other too many times over the years - but they were together now, and only a few things mattered to them: their baby boy who was going to be with them in only a matter of months and their renewed bond. As long as they had each other, everything would be okay.

Feedback is fuel! Please let me know what you think! Please consider a reblog so that this can reach more people on this hellsite.

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[synmorite]

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The One That Got Away - Epilogue

Warnings: fluff

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

A/N: That’s all folks! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.😘💖 

You can catch up here!

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ONE YEAR LATER

Dean and Y/N carried various potluck side dishes into the backyard, placing them on the long wooden table Dean had made in his spare time to accommodate his growing family.

John and Bobby were manning the grill, and Sam was playing with Miracle, the big goofball dog Dean had rescued from a burning building where his owners had sadly perished.

Jody and Mary sat at the table in the sunshine with Jess across from them, sheltering under the parasol with baby Matthew.

When the little boy saw Y/N, he gave her a big toothy smile. He wasn’t even a year old yet and had the same Winchester charm his father, uncle and grandfather had. Y/N couldn’t refuse the grabby hands and little mewls demanding she takes him from his mother’s arms and into hers.

“Hey, buddy!” Y/N smiled as she lifted Matthew and placed him on her hip. Every day his baby babbles sounded more like actual words. Although she wasn’t as versed in Matthew’s baby language as his parents were, she listened to him intently and responded whenever there was a break in his storytelling.

Today’s gathering was a double celebration. Bobby was retiring as Fire Chief at Lawrence F.D. Dean had accepted the promotion into his role and would start as the new Chief at Firehouse 3 the following week. Y/N couldn’t be prouder of her boyfriend and wouldn’t deny that him not running head-first into fires ninety percent of the time would make her life much less stressful.

“He always settles so easily with you,” Jess smiled, and Y/N glanced down to see Matthew had fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“What can I say? Kids love me,” Y/N said, giggling as Dean bent to kiss her forehead, a soft smile curving his lips upwards. The look of utter adoration that shone in his green eyes was overwhelming, and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

“Alright,” John called from the other side of the yard. “First batch of food is ready!”

“Here, let me take him so you can get something to eat. You must be starving after coming off a night shift and barely sleeping before entertaining all of us,” Jess said as she reached to take the sleeping baby from Y/N’s arms.

“It’s fine, Jess. I can survive another twenty minutes. Go, eat something hot for a change without burning your mouth!” Y/N grinned as Jess gave her a grateful smile.

Once everyone had their fill of food and relaxed with some drinks, Y/N and Jody began clearing dishes and putting away the leftovers before promising to bring more beer and another bottle of wine from the kitchen when they were finished.

“You look happy,” Jody smiled fondly.

“I am,” Y/N nodded, unable to hide her grin.

“Is he treating you right?” The older woman asked next.

“Not just right, Jody. He makes me feel safe and loved and wanted. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“Good. I’m happy for you, kiddo. You deserve all of it,” Jody hugged her tightly and added, “And if he puts a toe out of line, he is a dead man!” The women chuckled, and Jody pulled back slightly. “Come on, let’s get these drinks out there and join the celebrations.”

Jody placed a cooler filled with ice, beer and a bottle of wine onto the table, and Y/N gave out clean glasses and placed the corkscrew and bottle opener next to it. John and Sam passed out the drinks, and when no one was left empty-handed and had settled into conversation, Dean stood and gathered everyone’s attention.

“As I’m sure you all know, I’m not good with words and find it hard to talk about my feelings. Today, I’m putting that aside to celebrate a great mentor, a great Chief, and an even greater man. I’ve been in Bobby’s Firehouse since I was a cocky probie, and he quickly knocked that out of me completely! He taught me all I know, and that’s why stepping into his shoes isn’t as terrifying now as it was the first time Bobby told me that one day, I’d be sitting in his seat.

“So, cheers, Bobby! Thank you for having patience with me, for mentoring me and teaching me all I know, for seeing something in me that I couldn’t, and for treating me like family. In and out of the Firehouse.” Dean said, and cries of cheers, congratulations and clinking glasses rang through the backyard. He cleared his throat, letting them know he wasn’t finished yet.

“I know we’re here to celebrate Bobby’s retirement and my promotion, but I’m hoping we might have another reason to celebrate. It’s times like this that I wish I could be more articulate and find the right words to talk about how I feel and the million things I really want to say… need to say. And I promise to try, but for now, the only words I have are the most important ones… Y/N,” Dean’s voice cracked as he got down on one knee before her and pulled out a little velvet box. “Will you marry me?”

Y/N’s hand flew to her mouth in shock, and tears flooded her eyes. This was all she’d ever wanted. All she’d dreamed about. A second chance with the one that got away.

“Yes!” she answered, a shriek of laughter coming straight after as Dean lifted her, held her in his strong embrace, and spun her around.

THE END

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[synmorite]

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Oh my heart might explode from the fluffiness. ❤️

Spring in Fall

Summary: Jensen Ackles has spent his whole adult life in front of the camera, but now he wants something more. Something he’s not been able to find yet: an omega to settle down with. When Y/N Y/L/N arrived on the set of Supernatural, the alpha may just find all he’s ever wanted – his true mate.

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Female Omega!Reader

Rating: Teen

Bingo Square: Scent Bond for @jacklesversebingo

Warnings: Omegaverse, A/B/O dynamics (no smut or anatomy talk), fluff, scenting.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: This WIP has sat unfinished for over a year. When I got the ‘Scent Bond’ bingo square for Jacklesverse, I just knew this would be the perfect fill and found my fluffy bone long enough to get this finished! I hope you love this absolute floof 😘

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Jensen was irritable. That much was obvious from the Goddamn moon. In fact, irritable was too polite a word for what he was. His ruts were no joke since he hit forty, knowing that his biology dictated he should’ve settled with a mate long before now. The problem was work always got in the way.

If it wasn’t sixteen hour filming days, it was every other weekend at conventions. If it wasn’t conventions, it was catching up on sleep; if it wasn’t sleep, it was an awards show, corporate event, or some other function he was obligated by contract to attend.

Jared had been lucky in finding his true mate on set, and Jensen always hoped the same fate might come to him, but so far, twelve seasons into the show, it hadn’t happened and his hope was starting to wain.

He couldn’t deny that he wanted what all his family and friends had. He was lonely—not that he liked to admit that out loud to many people. All that would achieve is a sudden string of blind dates that always ended in disaster.

The alarm on his phone went off with the reminder to buy a present for his nephew’s birthday, and when he registered the date, he frowned. Quickly, Jensen ran through the math in his head, and his frown deepened. He wasn’t due a rut for another week.

Then why was he so on edge?

“Mr. Ackles? They need you on set in five.” One of the PAs, Riley, he thinks, shouts through his trailer door.

“Alright, thanks,” Jensen calls back, trying to put it to the back of his mind for now. He had a job to do, and if Jensen was anything, he was a professional. He would never let personal issues bleed into his professional life.

Plus, they had a very important guest star for the next couple of months. Y/N Y/L/N had signed on for an eight-episode story arc, and everyone was excited. She was the most popular actress the network had ever had on their books. She was making waves in the acting world, and everyone knew it was only a matter of time before she moved to a bigger network or the big screen and began cashing in on prestigious award wins.

Not only that, but Jensen had a massive crush on the beautiful omega, and Dean would be having a really good time with her sassy, sexy character for the duration of her time here. He knew it was unlikely that she’d be his true mate, but maybe, if he played his cards right, she’d at least go on a date with him, and things might work out for them. Plenty of couples he knew weren’t true mates and life was great for them.

“Can you smell that?” Y/N asked no one in particular in the hair and makeup trailer.

“Smell what?” Jared asked from the hair chair.

“Leather, and…” she turned her head and sniffed again. “Sandalwood. Mmm, whiskey.” She felt her cheeks heat up and a tingle in her belly that wasn’t wholly unfamiliar to her; neither was the scent she was detecting. It smelled like home. “Spearmint, too?”

Jared smirked through the mirror at Frida, the hair lady, and Y/N caught the grin on the makeup lady, Tanya’s, face. “What?” she asked. Tanya just shook her head, her grin getting wider.

“Come on, Tanya! There’s something you’re not telling me! What is it?” she whined and pouted playfully.

“Jeez, don’t give me that look!” Tanya laughed. “Damn it! Or those eyes!” she stepped away, laughing harder, when Y/N pulled out the big guns. “You know, Jared, Y/N’s puppy eyes are better than yours!”

Jared laughed and mumbled something that sounded a lot like: “Jensen’s gonna be in so much trouble!” as he looked over at the confused omega, who was still subtly sniffing the air with an adorable frown on her face.

“Is it getting hotter in here?” Y/N suddenly exclaimed. “My God, it’s hot,” she fanned herself with her script, feeling the heat rise from her toes upwards as if she’d just sat in a tub filled with water that was too hot. “Can we open the door or something?”

“Sure, I got it,” Frida said as she left Jared in the hair chair and opened the door to the trailer. “Jensen!” she gasped as she opened the door and saw the green-eyed actor reaching for the handle. “You scared me!” she giggled and stepped back, allowing the tall alpha to enter the trailer.

As soon as Jensen stepped inside, he stopped short, his green eyes blown wide and pupils dilating at the sight of his famous crush sitting in what was usually his makeup chair. She looked beautiful with her big doe eyes as wide as his and her hands fidgeting in her lap.

“Omega,” Jensen purred, momentarily shocked at how pathetic he sounded. Certainly not like the big, strong alpha he wanted to be for her, that’s for sure.

“Alpha,” Y/N whimpered in response, bowing her head as a sign of her submission to him.

Jensen stepped out of his trailer and took a deep breath of fresh air, frowning at the scent he caught on the wind. It smelled like home. Like The Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden in the springtime, to be exact. Cherry blossom, lilac and honeysuckle all mixed in with a hint of lavender, making his mouth water. But that was impossible. Except for the lavender, those flowers only appeared in the spring or early summer. It was October.

He didn’t think they’d have flowers on set for any reason, but he supposed that didn’t mean someone didn’t get sent a bouquet or something. The smell of lilac was unmistakable to him; his mom had a huge lilac bush in her backyard, and he’d grown up with it. He’d know that smell a mile off.

Shaking his head to rid himself of thoughts of home, he continued towards the set. He was really excited to work with Y/N, and he hoped she was as sweet and kind as he’d always heard she was. Nothing was worse than having professional respect for someone, meeting them, and finding their personality or attitude lacking.

Jensen spotted Rich across the lot and walked towards him to welcome him. The kind beta was directing again, and Jensen wanted to greet him properly and make sure he knew where to go if he needed anything. Not that Rich needed the reminder, but Jensen was nothing if he wasn’t a gentleman.

“Hey man, good to see you again,” Jensen said as he greeted Rich with a hug.

“Looking good, Jensen. How are you doing?” Rich asked.

“Ah, you know,” Jensen said simply. Rich was one of the few people who knew how desperate he was to find a mate, settle down and have a few pups of his own instead of always being the fun uncle.

“She’s out there, Jay. And I have a feeling she’s closer than you think!” he smirked.

“Ha!” Jensen scoffed. “You sound like Jared! He’s convinced Y/N’ll turn out to be my true mate!” he chuckled.

“Hey, I get why he thinks that! I remember all those nights in your trailer or apartment, and if you saw her on screen, you just froze and stared at her until she was off camera again!” Rich laughed heartily.

“Well, she’s incredibly beautiful. And I’m no worse with her than when you see Scarlett Johansson or Jared was with Nina Dobrev!” Jensen laughed.

“True, but your eyes glaze over, and you get this stupid smile, and…” Rich trailed off at his friend’s head tilt and look of sheer concentration.

“Can you smell that?” Jensen asked.

“Smell what?” Rich asked.

“It’s like a spring garden or something. I smelled it earlier and can’t get it out of–” Jensen whipped his head around and began stalking towards the hair and makeup trailer. Rich followed him, staying a safe distance behind the prowling alpha.

The alpha stopped in front of the trailer door and sniffed, purring low in his throat at finally finding its source. Just as he raised his hand to pull on the handle, the door whipped open, and his senses were assaulted with the most delicious and delicate scent he’d witnessed in his whole life.

Jensen stepped into the trailer, his gaze fixed on his celebrity crush, and felt the air being sucked from him as her Y/E/C eyes met his green ones, wide and submissive. “Omega,” Jensen purred, momentarily shocked at how pathetic he sounded. Certainly not like the big, strong alpha he wanted to be for her, that’s for sure.

“Alpha,” Y/N whimpered in response, bowing her head as a sign of her submission to him.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Jared grinned, raising his hands at the older alpha, showing he was no threat to them. The two women showed the same respect to Y/N, raising their hands as they left the trailer.

“I think Jay just found his true mate!” Jared grinned, pulling Rich into a hug.

“He’s gonna absolutely hate that you were right. I hope you know that!” Rich smirked.

“Hell yeah! And I’m never gonna let him forget it!”

Rich chuckled as he pulled the walkie from his belt. “We got a code 143; I repeat, a code 143 is in progress. All filming is suspended until further notice. Ladies and gentlemen, Jensen Ackles has met his true mate in none other than Y/N Y/L/N. Over and out,” Rich spoke through the device and smiled, high-fiving Jared when they heard the cheers erupt from all over the lot.

“Alright, I’ll start with the phone calls. Have you got the numbers for Y/N’s family? I’ll let them know she’ll be off grid for a few days at least,” Jared asked Rich, who handed him a sheet of paper with her emergency contacts listed.

“I’ll get some betas to keep the parameter clear from here back to his trailer. The last thing we need is another alpha getting too close to Y/N. Or an omega to Jensen, for that matter. Then I better call the Network and let them know their golden boy and girl are officially off the market!” Rich chuckled.

“They’re gonna love that!” Jared laughed.

It’d been suggested to Jensen before by numerous executives that he and Y/N should meet and see if there was a spark, but Jensen was stubborn and said if they were meant to meet, it’d happen naturally. Apparently, so was Y/N. They’d heard a few times that it was the same response she gave them whenever they asked her about it.

Once the door was closed, Jensen stepped towards her and kneeled at her feet. “Do you want this, Y/N? Want me?” he asked shyly. Yes, they were true mates, but he had a few years on her, and she might not want to settle with an older man. She might not want to settle at all. Being in the prime of her career might mean she wasn’t ready to start a family yet.

“Yes, Jensen. I want this… want you, Alpha,” she purred, placing her hand on his cheek and smiling softly. The gasp of pained relief from the big, strong alpha broke her heart, and she wondered if he’d been let down as many times as she had in the past or if it was more.

“Can I… uh… can I scent you, Omega, please?” Jensen asked quietly, and Y/N giggled at his cuteness. She’d always hoped she’d have an alpha with a softer side, and it seemed like she got one.

“Yes, Alpha. I’m yours now,” she said softly.

“Not quite,” his fingers rubbed softly over her mating gland. “But I intend for you to be mine very soon,” he smiled softly before slowly leaning forward and nuzzling his nose into her neck. His hot breath against her sensitive skin made Y/N shiver, and her body erupted in goosebumps. The intimacy of the gesture was overwhelming, and she felt tears sting in her eyes.

Jensen whined as he got in closer and breathed her in. “You smell so good, Omega. And so beautiful,” he whispered to her, gently placing his hand on the back of her neck and pulling her closer still. Y/N tilted her head and rested her cheek on his shoulder, nuzzling her nose into his mating gland, her neck still open, and began to scent him in return.

Within seconds, an overwhelming sense of tranquillity and contentment at being exactly where he needed to be rushed over him, and he had no idea if it was coming from him, her or both of them. And it was the most elating feeling in the world.

“Sweetheart, I could sit her for hours and do this,” Jensen whispered, placing the softest of kisses on her neck between each word he spoke. “But I wanna take you somewhere more private if you’ll let me.”

“Okay,” Y/N answered, a whine escaping her throat as soon as he pulled away from her. Jensen chuckled at her pout, stood, held his hand out for her to take, and pulled her protectively into his side when she was on her feet.

“What hotel are you staying in?” Jensen asked.

“I’m not. I’m staying with a friend. Her apartment is just outside the city,” Y/N responded.

“My place is closer. Is that okay with you? I’d rather we have complete privacy, but if it would make you feel better, we can go to my trailer or the place you’re staying,” Jensen spoke softly.

“Let’s go to your place, Alpha,” she beamed brightly, chuckling when Jensen purred in approval of her answer.

Stepping out of the trailer, Jensen pulled Y/N into his body and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. The omega responded instantly, winding her arm around his waist and moving as close to him as their bodies allowed. The alpha smirked and puffed his chest with pride at hearing the wolf whistles from the crew, who’d gathered to wish the new couple well.

Jensen noticed his driver standing next to an SUV and headed straight towards him, determined to get them out of there as quickly as possible. He’d waited long enough for her and didn’t want to wait any longer. 

Helping Y/N into the car, Jensen quickly moved to the other side and climbed in beside her. He’d barely sat down when the omega slid over to his side and cosied up to him, burying her nose in his neck and scenting him contentedly. He purred, happy to finally have his omega in his arms, scenting her hair, allowing her aroma to mingle and settle in with his own, binding them together in a bond that would become unbreakable the instant he claimed her, which Jensen had every intention of doing before the sun came up.

“Forever starts now, Omega. You ready for it?” Jensen murmured into Y/N’s hair.

“I’ve never been more ready, Alpha.”

Tags: @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[synmorite]

TINNNNNAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭

So close yet so far. 😭

The One That Got Away - Chapter Fifteen

Warnings: angst, injuries, fluff, flirting.

Words: 1.7k

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

“Try to get some rest,” Y/N smiled at her patient and exited the room, heading back to the main desk to see who was next on the list. In two sweet hours, she’d finish her shift and finally get some proper time off.

Jess’ premature departure meant she and all of the nurses on her staff had banded together to cover more shifts than usual as they waited for a temporary replacement to start. It had been exhausting, and Y/N was surprised at how quickly she’d fallen out of the habit of pulling a seventy hour week, but it was finally over. The new nurse had started yesterday, and normal shift service had resumed for her and her team.

There was another reason for her excitement: her date with Dean was in fourteen hours. Not that she was counting. Y/N had been disappointed they had to postpone their date last week, even more disappointed they couldn’t fit it in last week. However, these things happened, and Dean had been right; absence made the heart grow fonder. Not that she’d tell him that. He didn’t need the extra ego boost.

“Y/N”, Dr Ellen Harvelle said as she arrived at the check-in desk, ready to take another patient. “Got an emergency four minutes out. Someone from Firehouse 3 has been injured on a job. Normally I wouldn’t ask, but everyone else is tied up.”

“I’m on it, Dr H,” Y/N replied, trying to push down the dread rising from her stomach. Throwing herself into action, she gowned up and ran to the ambulance bay. Please don’t be Dean or Bobby. Please don’t be Dean or Bobby. Was all that was running through the nurse’s head as she swallowed the bile rising in her throat.

Sirens blaring and lights flashing, the ambulance screeched to a stop in front of them, immediately followed by the firetruck. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, but the second Dean and Bobby jumped from the engine, Y/N exhaled deeply and relaxed.

“You good?” Ellen asked, and she nodded and jumped into action.

“What have we got?” Y/N asked, stepping up to the ambulance and waiting for the paramedic’s assessment.

“Castiel Novak, thirty-five, trapped by a falling beam from the ceiling of a burning building. He was found unconscious, breathing apparatus dislodged. Suspect the collapse of both lungs and damage to the airways from smoke inhalation. Compressions have been ongoing since he crashed about thirty seconds ago,” Jack spoke as he and Jo got the gurney out of the ambulance.

“Alright, Y/N, we’re gonna need to do a ride-along,” Ellen said.

“What can we do?” Bobby asked calmly, though his widened eyes showed his concern.

“We need to keep compressions going. Jack, do everything Y/N tells you. Guys,” she directed to the firefighters surrounding her, “on my say, help me move him to trauma bay three. Y/N? Whenever you’re ready.”

Y/N climbed on the gurney and straddled Castiel’s thighs. “Alright, Jack. On the count of three, pull away, and I’ll take over, okay?” she waited until Jack met her gaze and nodded his understanding before placing one hand on top of the other and clasping her fingers together.

“One, two, three!” Seamlessly, Jack pulled his hands away, and Y/N replaced them with her own, not missing a beat as she began pumping Castiel’s chest firmly.

“Let’s move!” Ellen ordered, and Dean and Benny stepped forward and pushed Castiel and Y/N into the hospital.

Having suffered a collapse of both lungs, a concussion, and damage to his respiratory system from smoke inhalation, Castiel was in a serious but stable condition. He was responding well to treatment, but the next twenty-four hours would be critical, and Y/N knew there would be a vigil of firefighters in the waiting room until he was out of the woods.

With her shift just about over, Y/N checked on Cas one last time and updated his chart before handing his care over to Kevin. She wanted to stay on and work a double, but when she spoke to Rowena about it, the red-head told her that she’d reached her quota of hours for the week and reminded her she’d already pulled two doubles this week and to go home before she fell down and she was the one lying in a hospital bed.

Closing her locker, Y/N threw her purse over her shoulder and let her hair loose from the uncomfortably tight and itchy bun it had been constricted for the past fifteen hours.

Making her way to the waiting room to give the firehouse her final update, she smiled slightly, seeing all the firefighters were no longer in their turnout gear. Jackets and helmets were no longer strewn all over the tables, chairs and floor. Y/N remembered from Pamela and Taylor that half of them would’ve taken the truck back, changed their clothes, and brought food back for the others before they would go back and change out of their gear.

“Y/N, what’s the latest?” Uncle Bobby asked as he saw her standing in the doorway.

“He’s responding well to treatment. His oxygen levels are coming up. There’s still a long way to go, but he’s definitely going in the right direction,” she responded.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for him,” Uncle Bobby smiled and walked towards her. “Is your shift over, Princess?”

“Yeah, I wanted to stay, but-”

“You reached your quota again, didn’t you?” Bobby chuckled.

“Maybe…” Y/N grinned. “But, there were extenuating circumstances this week which have been resolved.”

“So, you’re telling me it’s not gonna become the norm for you to go above and beyond?” he smirked, his eyes twinkling as he teased her.

“I hope not,” Y/N smiled softly, her eyes falling on Dean, and Bobby grinned, hoping, just like his niece, that things would work out between the couple.

“You should say goodbye to him before you go,” Bobby told her softly. Y/N nodded and stepped tentatively towards where Dean stood with Benny and Charlie.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean smiled as she stepped beside him. “Thanks for what you did for Cas.”

“It’s nothing, just doing my job,” she lowered her gaze shyly.

“Modest much?” Charlie chuckled. “What you did was heroic!”

“Oh no, that’s not… I don’t… You guys are the real heroes here,” Y/N shifted on her feet, uncomfortable with the attention.

“Uh, can I talk to you? Outside?” Dean said, gently pushing her towards the door and she nodded gratefully at his timely rescue.

“Thanks for getting me out of there, De,” she giggled as they stepped outside.

“Well, Charlie is right about the modest thing. You’ve never done well with attention or praise,” he chuckled softly. “So, I hate to do this, but about tonight-”

“Hey, it’s fine, Dean. You’re where you need to be, and Cas is more important than our date,” Y/N said.

Dean smiled, grateful that she got it. Though he wouldn’t say Cas was more important than her, he was a higher priority right now. “Thanks for understanding, Princess. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You better,” she grinned.

“Cross my heart,” Dean smirked. “Now, your shift is over, Nurse Singer, and I think you should go home and sleep. You look dead on your feet.”

“Yeah. I feel like I could sleep until I’m back on shift!” Y/N chuckled.

“Well, if you don’t pass out for four whole days,” Dean laughed. “Call me when you’ve had some rest. Maybe we could rearrange our date?”

“I’d like that,” Y/N nodded and tried to suppress a yawn.

“Go home! Text me when you get there so I know you’re safe,” Dean said, kissing her forehead.

“Alright, I’m going! Keep me updated on Cas, please?” she responded as she stepped backwards away from Dean.

“You got it,” Dean smiled, watching her turn around and walk down the hallway.

“Hey, Y/N!” he shouted, smirking when she turned around. “Good morning, beautiful.”

“Good night, handsome,” Y/N grinned back before turning and continuing down the hallway.

Y/N spent her first day off sleeping for three to four hours, eating, watching television, doing chores for three to four hours, and then going back to sleep. During one of her awake times, she’d called Dean, and he’d happily let her know that Cas was officially “stable” and out of the woods. He’d be on his feet and heading home in no time.

They’d agreed to wait a few days before planning their date so Dean could be on hand to help Cas if he needed it. No doubt he’d be feeling the impact of the damage to his lungs and airways for a few weeks yet and would likely tire doing the most mundane of tasks.

Dean had apologised profusely and again promised to make it up to her, but Y/N convinced him there was no need, and she didn’t mind waiting a little longer for him.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?” she’d teased him.

“So they tell me,” Dean huffed lightly, suggesting just a hint of frustration.

“Come on, De. We’ve waited twelve years. What’s a few more days?” Y/N chuckled, trying to lighten his mood.

“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean I need to like it, Princess.”

“Aww, are you missing me?” she teased again.

“Yeah, I am,” he sighed, and Y/N’s heart ached.

“Well, I know Cas will be taking up a lot of your time the next few days, but you know where I am if you wanna come over for dinner.”

“If I can, I will, sweetheart,” he sighed again. “Just wish I could promise.”

“Then promise to give me the best second date ever,” she giggled.

“Now that I can promise,” Dean said, and Y/N could hear the grin in his voice.

“Oh, I know you will!” Y/N giggled again, and Dean chuckled softly.

“I gotta go, Princess. I’ll call you later?”

“Can’t wait! Bye, De.”

“Bye, Y/N/N.”

Next Chapter >>

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[synmorite]

Kduwhdiegbfkdugwopsjnwhelahb

All She Wants Masterlist

Summary: As an Omega, Y/N’s biology dictates that she needs to be claimed and have pups. Despite seeing her through her heats for years, Dean – the Alpha Y/N wants to settle down with – refuses to give her what she needs.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Female Omega!Reader

Rating: 18+ Only Mini Series Warnings: tw: dub con (reader's head isn't in it), dub con claiming, omegaverse, A/B/O, A/B/O dynamics, ruts, heats, knotting, claiming, heavy angst, language, smut, smangst, p in v, dirty talk, breeding kink, claiming kink, rough sex, biting, oral sex (f rec), fingering, hair pulling, Dean is a bit of an asshole, fighting, canon level violence, arguments, feral Alpha, agitation, aggression, aftercare, fluff

Total Word Count: 11.8k

A/N: Please consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite or leave a little comment. It really does fuel our muse. If you’re too shy, or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on you blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

Part One

Part Two

Part Three (Finale) - 17th October

[synmorite]

I opened this up to read so fast that I forgot I was in a work call. And now I feel like Dean, all itchy under my skin and bothered that I gotta wait another week. I just hope I’ll be home by that point and can read it right away. Otherwise it’ll be a long drive home from the airport. 😂

All She Wants, Part Two

Summary: Y/N decides to leave the bunker for good when Dean reiterates that he can never give her what she wants. Struggling to adjust without her, Dean turns to hormone suppressants, unable to stomach the thought of going through a rut with anyone else.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Female Omega!Reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Bingo Square: Hormone Suppressants for @j3bingo

Warnings: omegaverse, A/B/O, A/B/O dynamics, angst, arguments, heats, ruts, language, Dean’s still a bit of an asshole.

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: The response to the first part of this angsty, angsty fic has been overwhelming. Thank you to every single one of you who read and commented and reblogged. It means so much 🥹 Now, without further ado, I hope you love part two!

You can catch up here!

My Masterlist     AO3     Ko-Fi

Please consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite, or leave a little comment. It really does fuel our muse. If you’re too shy, or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

Being back in the bunker is suffocating, and you haven’t even been back twelve hours yet. The mild cramps in your stomach are now an annoying and constant discomfort, and being near Dean is only making it worse. Your body is so used to the green-eyed hunter that his scent has you craving him. If you don’t get out of here and find another alpha, you know you’ll cave and go to the man who keeps breaking your heart.

Digging into the depths of your meagre closet, you pull out one of the few dresses you have and get ready to have a night on the town. It’s nerve-wracking; you haven’t done this in a long time, but you need to kick old habits and rid yourself of your addiction to Dean. It’s no longer a healthy relationship—maybe it never had been—but your last time together opened your eyes and proved that he doesn’t see you as anything other than a fuck toy.

Walking through the hallways of the bunker, your heels click loudly on the cold, concrete floors as you head towards the library. You know at least one of the boys will be there, and you pray to Chuck it’s Sam. You’d skip this part entirely, given it’s none of their business, but as an unmated omega going to find someone to satisfy a heat, it’s probably best that someone knows your intentions.

As you turn the corner into the room, the scent of Dean’s agitation slaps you in the face. If you’re not careful and can’t control your emotions, it’ll end in a fight and a tumble in the sheets, and that’s really the last thing you need.

“Where are you going dressed like that?” Dean asks as soon as he sets eyes on you.

“Out,” you respond.

“You’re in heat, Omega,” Dean growls.

“I’m aware,” you can feel your body warm as his gaze on you intensifies.

“Do you think it’s wise to go out in your condition?” Dean questions, and you fight your biological instinct to shrink in on yourself and submit to him. 

“I need to find an alpha who’ll help me through this, so yes, I do think it’s wise.”

“You have me, Y/N.” Dean’s tone softens, and the hurt that flashes in his eyes almost makes you run to him.

“No, I don’t. Not anymore.” You don’t wait for his response, walking out of the library and up the stairs because you’re so close to saying screw it and making him take you right there in the library.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” you call out and shut the bunker door behind you.

You know you won’t find what you’re looking for in the bar a few towns over, but at least you’ll find someone who can scratch your current itch and make you forget about Dean fucking Winchester.

At least for a few days.

DEAN’S POV

Dean feels his heart shatter as he watches Y/N walk out the door. This isn’t how he wanted things to go with her. He wanted to talk to her and apologise for his behaviour during his last rut. At least if he’d done that, there was a chance they could still have some kind of relationship.

What they had is gone. He knows that. He’s hurt her too much. If he’d dealt with things differently, they’d still have had the potential to at least be civil to one another, but his gut’s telling him that the opportunity for civility has gone.

He can’t blame himself entirely; she hasn’t let herself be alone with him since he’d realised how much of an asshole he’d been to her. Dean had expected her to come to him last night when the scent of her heat became stronger and carried through the bunker, but she’d remained shut in her bedroom. He isn’t even sure she’d eaten since yesterday morning.

“Hey,” Sam says as he sits beside his brother and hands him a beer. “I heard you and Y/N talking. You alright?”

“No, Sammy, I’m not. You know, it never once occurred to me that what Y/N and I had could end?”

“It doesn’t have to,” Sam says softly, noticing tears in Dean’s eyes.

“Yeah, it does. I can’t give her what she wants—”

“Can’t or won’t?” Sam interrupts, and Dean’s heart pangs at the implication he’s being his usual stubborn ass alpha self.

“I can’t, Sam.” Dean didn’t usually show his vulnerabilities to Sam. He’s the pack leader and can’t afford to show weakness. The only person he’s ever shown vulnerability to is Y/N.

“Why?” Sam’s question is simple, but the weight of the answer is something Dean’s not sure he’s ready to admit out loud.

“It’s complicated,” Dean answers and takes a long swig of beer, drinking half the bottle in two swallows.

“Enlighten me, Dean, because from where I’m standing, it’s not complicated at all. You already have an emotional bond with her. You’ve been mating with her for what, six or seven years? Why is it so hard for you to claim her, have that deeper chemical bond, and make you both happy by having a couple of pups? It’d be nice to have some little ones running around here.”

“Because the second I claim her, she has a target on her back. She’ll become the hunted. Every monster on the continent will want to tear her apart to get to me. And that’s something I won’t survive.”

“So you do want to claim her?” Sam confirms, a small smile pulling at his lips.

“Of course I do!” Dean’s voice booms across the library. “I love her. More than anything. I always have, but I would rather die than put her in danger because of me and who I am,” Dean can’t keep his turmoil to himself anymore. Now it’s out in the open with Sam, he can’t shut the hell up. “I have thought of every way possible to give her what she wants… for years. Give us what we want, but in every scenario, she ends up dead, and I end up alone.”

“Dean, if you keep going the way you have been, she’ll die, and you’ll be alone anyway. And if you let her walk out of here and into the arms of another alpha, you’ll still be alone.”

“I know that, Sam! But I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone and know she was safe and happy with another alpha and a few pups than put a target on her back by claiming her! What part of that don’t you understand?”

“You think Y/N would be happy with another alpha? You think she wanted to go out hunting for someone else to fuck her through her heat? You think she’s not wishing it was you? You think she doesn’t love you? Because she does, Dean! It’s clear to everyone!” Sam’s frustrations reach boiling point, and he no longer has the patience to hold back. “That curse she saved me from loosely translated to stealing what your brother has broken and making it yours. If she hadn’t got between me and that witch, and I’d been hit by that curse, I’d have claimed Y/N for myself because you’re too chicken shit to do it. You know what that means, right? That even the witch knew you were in some kind of relationship. Even just being associated with you in the way she is makes her a target. And she’s an even bigger one without a claim.”

“Then maybe it’s for the best that she’s out there trying to find someone to take care of her,” Dean said, raising his eyebrows at Sam’s exasperation.

“No, Dean! It means that, claimed or not, monsters know what Y/N is to you and you to her. It means she’s already a target, and you’ve been protecting her from the monsters for a long time. Claiming her and having pups with her isn’t going to change that.”

“Look, can we just drop this? Y/N is better off without me, okay? And nothing you say will change my mind. She deserves something good, and I’m not good.” 

Pushing his chair back, Dean stands from the table and enters the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of Scotch from the cabinet and locks himself in his bedroom to lick his wounds.

It may not be the healthiest way to deal with things, but at least getting blind drunk on whiskey will stop the images of Y/N presenting for another alpha or taking another’s knot from playing like a video in his mind.

FIVE DAYS LATER

Y/N’S POV

“You’re alive, then,” Dean’s voice greets you as soon as you step into the bunker.

“I am,” you respond, warily making your way down the stairs. You’re on high alert, knowing this could turn volatile very quickly.

“You alright?” he asks next, his eyes scanning your body for signs of injury. His gaze lingers on your neck, and when he notices it remains unblemished, he releases a breath, and his shoulders relax slightly.

“I’m fine.” It feels like you cheated on Dean, and it makes you feel so sick you want to cry.

“Good. I’m glad you’re okay. I mean, you could’ve called. Let us know you were fine. It would’ve stopped Sam and me from worrying about you every second of the day. For all we knew, you were lying in a ditch somewhere.”

“My phone’s GPS was still…” you pause and sigh, knowing you don’t need to explain anything to him. “Look, can we not do this, please?” You plead. It’s been a rough few days, and you just want to shower and sleep.

You stop next to him, waiting for him to let you pass and frown when he rears back with a snarl. 

“Go shower, Omega. The stench of sex and Alpha makes me want to vomit,” Dean growls and walks away, leaving you standing at the entrance to the library, no longer able to keep the tears in.

The decision to leave is one of the hardest you’ve ever had to make. The bunker is your home, too. Still, you know you’re no longer welcome. Dean doesn’t want you, and you’ve hurt each other beyond repair. You could’ve tried to sort this mess out. You could’ve done that rather than look for a heat buddy, but had you not gone out, you’d have fallen straight back into bad habits and Dean’s bed. You had to break ties with him completely, and the only way to do that was to sleep with someone else, even if it broke both your hearts in the process.

Between the anxiety from you and Dean’s argument after the witch hunt and your heat, you’ve barely eaten for the past week. Before you leave for good, you head to the kitchen to grab something quickly, knowing it’s late enough that both Winchesters will be in their bedrooms, and you can eat and leave undetected.

“Sneaking out on us, huh? That’s mature,” Dean scoffs, and you jump, startled by his voice coming from somewhere in the dark kitchen.

“Any particular reason you’re sitting in the pitch black, Dean?” you ask, your hackles raised and ready to flee if needed.

“Answer my question first, then maybe I’ll answer yours.”

“Come on, Dean. We both know it’s not a good idea for me to stay here,” you reason.

“But this is your home,” Dean says, and where before you only heard contempt, you can now detect hurt.

“Not anymore.” You turn to leave, deciding to just forget about food so you can get the hell out of here.

“Please don’t walk away from me, Omega.”

“I told you I’m not your Omega, Dean. You’ve made that abundantly clear over the years.”

“Y/N, please, sweetheart,” he begs, and you turn to face him, your anger rising.

“No, Dean. I can’t do this with you anymore. We can’t keep doing this same dance over and over again. I want more. I need—” Your voice catches in your throat, and you swallow down the emotion that wants to spill from you. “I need to be claimed. I need to have pups. It’s in my biology, Dean, and I can’t change that. And I can’t change the fact that if I don’t settle down soon, I’ll go feral and die.”

“And you’re gonna do that with the asshat from the bar?” Dean spits back at you.

“No! I want to do it with you, but you don’t want me!” The tears spring from your eyes, and once again, you will Chuck, or whatever fucking angel is standing in his stead, to give you the strength you need to finally leave. To break this toxic bond that’s been forged under false pretences for years.

“Y/N, I do want you. I just can’t give you what you need,” Dean pleads.

“You can,” you nod with a tearful smile. “Because even if it wasn’t in the traditional way, you gave me what I needed for years. You just don’t want to.”

“No, Omega, please.”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

DEAN’S POV

Y/N has been gone for two months, and there hasn’t been a peep from her. If Sam has heard anything, he’s kept it quiet, and Dean hasn’t asked. She’s turned off the GPS on her phone and removed the tracker from her car, and anyone he’s asked in their network either hasn’t seen or heard from her or has just told him she’s fine.

He misses her laugh and her smile. He misses her comforting scent that would linger around the bunker. He misses her soft, warm body sliding into bed next to him when she’d had a nightmare or wanted to cuddle in those first few hours of her heat before her need for him changed to something more carnal.

Yet, never once did he reach out to her. She’d made it pretty clear they were done, and he’s accepted that. What he did to her was unforgivable. Still, he’s hurting, too and feels betrayed by what she did. He may not have the right, but it’s how he feels, and try as he might, he can’t change it.

As the telltale signs of his next rut make themselves known, Dean knows this will be the hardest challenge he’s faced since Y/N left, but if she could so easily toss him aside and find someone else to mate with, so could he.

Standing at the bar, Dean preens under the attention of several omegas surrounding him. It’s been a long time since he’s had so many women fawn over him, and he guesses that being with Y/N has kept them at bay all these years.

Looking towards the other end of the bar, he does a double-take. The woman has similar features to Y/N: same eye colour, same shaped face, and from what he can see, a similar figure. It’s not her, but Dean is on his feet and making his way over to her before he can think twice about it.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean gives the woman his most charming smile and feels his confidence soar as she giggles and looks down briefly before raising her eyes and batting her lashes at him. “The name’s Dean.”

“Carly,” she responds shyly, and Dean smirks.

“Pretty name. It suits you, Omega. Can I buy you a drink?” he drawls, using his alpha tone.

“Sure, Alpha,” she smiles sweetly, batting her eyes at him once more, and Dean knows he’s found a rut partner for the next few days.

“So, what’s your poison?” Dean asks, grabbing the bartender’s attention.

“Appletini,” Carly says, and Dean fights a scoff at the girly concoction. Y/N would’ve ordered a whiskey or an Old Fashioned if the mood struck her, none of this fruity shit that makes you question whether there’s even any alcohol in it.

“Whiskey, neat, and an appletini for the lady,” Dean says to the bartender.

“So, Dean, what’s a handsome alpha like you doing in a place like this?” Carly asks.

Glancing at her kind eyes that remind him so much of Y/N’s, he finds himself spilling everything to her. He’s not sure why he finds it easier to talk to a stranger than his own brother or even Cas, but he does.

“Look,” Dean says after an hour of talking and a few more whiskeys. “I came here intending to find an omega to ride out my rut with, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” he confesses. “I’m not even sure I could… physically… uh, you know.” he chuckles.

“I think that’s a wise decision, Dean,” Carly smiles kindly. “I don’t think you’re in the right frame of mind to be mating with someone new. You haven’t fully accepted that your mate left you, and it could be dangerous for both of us if we leave here together.”

“I wouldn’t say she’s my mate. I never claimed her, so…” Dean shrugs, feeling a little bad for leading her on.

“Doesn’t matter, Dean. You bonded with her intimately, and I’m guessing you stayed faithful and only had her the entire time, right?”

“I only ever wanted her,” Dean nods and swallows another whiskey.

“So, you were together like a beta couple would be, right? Like dating but not married?” Carly replies with a knowing smile, and Dean has to admit he’s never looked at his relationship with Y/N in that way before.

“I suppose we were,” he responds with a nod to the bartender for another drink.

“Do you know where she is? Can you go to her?” Carly asks.

“No,” Dean sighs. “We have some mutual friends, but they are very quiet about her whereabouts. Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I hurt her. A lot. And I wish I’d handled things differently.”

“You’ll get there, Dean,” she smiles. “And if you don’t, try begging your friends to tell you where she is and grovel until she forgives you!” Carly chuckles and squeezes his hand. “It could be an easy fix if you can overcome your fears. It’s clear you love her, and if you can give into those feelings, you’ll work it out.”

Carly hops off the barstool and pulls her purse strap over her shoulder. “Goodbye, Dean. I hope you find your girl and make things right,” she cups his cheek and winks at him before walking away and leaving him alone.

Downing the whiskey in one, Dean throws some bills on the bar and heads to the Impala. If he’s going to see himself through his rut, he’d need a lot of provisions.

It took six days, three bottles of lube, and the help of various knotting toys for Dean to come through the other side of his rut. He can’t remember the last time one had been so brutal or unforgiving. However, now he’s out and can start taking the suppressants he got from the drugstore, so he doesn’t need to go through one again.

“Hey, you alright?” Sam asks, seeing Dean at the hob, frying bacon and eggs.

“Still feeling rough, but some food and fresh air should do me good. Please tell me you found a hunt while I was out.”

“Yeah, looks like there’s a ghoul loose in Stillwater, Oklahoma.”

“Alright, then. We’ll get everything together and leave in a couple of hours.”

“Dean, are you sure you’re up for this? You still look a little… off.”

“I’m fine, Sammy. Just ready to get out of here. Been cooped up too long.”

For the next few months, that’s what they do; move from small town to small town, saving people and hunting things, and Dean? Well, he’s just peachy.

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Dean always knew the suppressants would take some getting used to. They’re the drug store variety and weren’t for long-term use. Still, the nausea and headaches are getting worse and are now accompanied by bouts of fever and a loss of appetite.

He knows his age probably isn’t helping, and the fact he’s been rejected by his mate in a roundabout way, so rejection sickness has been on his mind the past few days as his symptoms got worse.

Sam’s said he’s easier to anger than usual too, and Dean’s starting to feel constantly on edge now. He can only hope whatever this is will end soon because this fucking sucks.

Swallowing down another pill, Dean throws the pill bottle into his duffle so that he and Sam can get home, put this vampire hunt behind them, and take some time off.

Although sceptical at first, he’s now grateful he’d agreed to take a break from hunting for a couple of weeks to recoup and relax. They hadn’t stopped hunting in close to twelve weeks, and he feels awful. A little time off might be just what he needs.

“Ready to go, Dean?” Sam asks, frowning when he notices the pill bottle at the top of his brother’s bag. The younger Winchester walks over and picks it up, huffing loudly. “This is what you’ve been taking? Over the counter suppressants?”

“Yeah, so?” Dean replies.

“Dean, these aren’t for long-term use. They’re supposed to only delay a rut for a couple of weeks, not for taking every day. Why didn’t you go to a doctor and get the right thing?”

“Oh, because we have that luxury, Sammy!” Dean snaps. “‘Do you have insurance? No. What’s your address? An underground fortress in the middle of fucking nowhere.’ Seriously, you don’t see anything wrong with that? And they say you’re the smart one!” Dean scoffs and shakes his head.

“We would’ve found a way, Dean. We always do. These are probably doing more harm than good. I think it’s why you’re feeling off, and it’s only going to get worse.”

“It can’t get any worse, Sammy! Y/N left me. Nothing will ever be worse than that!” Dean yells as he grabs his bag and stalks out of the motel room, and slams the door.

Dean is agitated. So much so that even he can’t deny it. And the more he tries not to be, the worse he gets. He knows it’s annoying Sam—it’s annoying him, too—but it’s not something he has any control over. Everything is going haywire; his skin itches, sweat drips down his back, and he just wants to pick fights. That’s why he had a go at the idiot at the gas station and the douchebag from the diner. He blames Sam for that one. He wanted to keep driving, but Sammy just had to stretch his freakishly long fucking legs now, didn’t he?

When Sam finally rejoins him in the car, Dean tries to avoid his baby brother’s puppy eyes. He knows he’s fucked up. He knows he should’ve found a way to get the real thing, but the fear of a doctor telling him he’s a lost cause, that because his mate left him would mean that suppressants can’t fix him stopped him. Besides, it can’t take the ache of Y/N’s departure away. It doesn’t change the fact that as an alpha, it was his duty to claim her.

“What am I in for, Sammy?” Dean finally asks, breaking his silence on his suppressant use. He’s not sure he wants to know, but he needs to keep what’s left of his pack safe. If this ends the way he dreads, he needs to put a plan in place.

“You’ll go into a rut that can only be satisfied by uhm… your mate,” Sam says, avoiding her name so it doesn't set the older alpha off again. “And because she’s not here, you’ll go feral,” Sam sighs.

“And when I go feral, I’ll be dangerous to any omega who isn’t Y/N,” Dean finishes what Sam doesn’t say.

“I think it’s already started. I can smell your rut pheromones, but they’re… off.” Sam said.

“Listen to me, Sammy. I’m going to the safe house in Montana. I’ll let nature take its course. You will leave me there and take the Impala so I can’t get out.” Dean begins, but Sam’s quick to intervene.

“Dean, no. I can track down Y/N. When she hears what’s happening, she’ll—”

“Laugh and tell you to tell me to go fuck myself! I made my bed, Sammy. I gotta lie in it.”

“You’re signing your own death warrant!”

“Then so be it!” Dean roars, but Sam won’t back down.

“I can’t let you do that when someone can help you!”

“She won’t come because she doesn’t want me, Sam!” Dean yells. “How many times do I have to say it? She left me because I couldn’t give her what she wanted. For all we know, another alpha has already claimed her.”

“I have to try, Dean! I can’t just let you die!” Sam is trying to stay calm, not wanting to upset his brother more.

“Yeah? Well, maybe it’s what I deserve.”

“It’s not, and you know it. I’ll lock you in that cabin and take the car with me to keep you safe, but I will find Y/N.”

“Fine. I can’t stop you,” Dean relents. “But when she tells you she’s done with me, you will leave me there, and whatever happens, happens. Deal?”

“Deal,” Sam agrees reluctantly.

Next Chapter>>

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567

[synmorite]

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All She Wants, Part One

Summary: As an Omega, Y/N’s biology dictates that she needs to be claimed and have pups. Despite seeing her through her heats for years, Dean – the Alpha Y/N wants to settle down with – refuses to give her what she needs.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Female Omega!Reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Bingo Square: The quote: “Don’t try to alpha me. It won’t work.” for @j3bingo which is highlighted in bold.

Warnings: omegaverse, A/B/O, A/B/O dynamics, language, ruts, heats, smut (well… technically, it’s smangst and could be perceived as tw: dub-con), p in v, dirty talk, breeding kink, claiming kink, knotting, angst, Dean is a bit of an asshole, fighting, canon level violence, arguments.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Well, we get straight into the filth under the cut with this one! I hope you’re ready for some angst alpha Dean! Buckle up, buttercups, and enjoy the ride! Please consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite, or leave a little comment. It really does fuel our muse. If you’re too shy, or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

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“Fuck, Omega, you’re dripping all over my cock,” Dean growls as he slams into you again. This is the eighth fucking he’s given you in the past three days, and it’s sure to be over a dozen by the time his rut is over.

You and Dean have been doing this for years. Whenever he’s in a rut, you get him through it, and whenever you’re in heat, he’s repaid the favour. At first, it was easy; a means to an end. You knew each other, you trusted each other, there was an attraction between you, and it was less risky than disappearing off the face of the earth for five days with a stranger, especially when any alpha could claim you with or without your consent.

As time passed, you’d done what you promised never to do; you caught feelings. Once that happened, becoming emotionally bonded to Dean was no longer a choice, and in all ways but wearing his mark, you and the green-eyed hunter had mated.

“Such a sweet fucking pussy, baby girl. Can’t get enough of it,” Dean’s voice had deepened with his arousal, and you knew the alpha in him was slowly taking over.

You groan at his words. He’s always good with dirty talk and can turn you into a weak, whimpering mess with a single word.

“Mine.”

But it’s all talk. Dean has told you plenty of times that you could never be anything more. And the more years that passed, the harder that’s been to accept. Every month when your heat ended, you swore it was the last time. Your biology dictated your life, and if an alpha didn’t claim you and give you pups, you’d go feral and die.

Dean’s knot is beginning to swell; you can’t feel him as deep as he had been. He drapes himself over your sweat-slicked back to give himself better purchase to push and shove into you, desperate to get as deep as he’d been a few minutes ago. It’s a futile effort as he won’t get what he wants until his knot has slipped inside you, but being surrounded by him – his weight on top of you, breathing in his scent – is a euphoria you could never get enough of. It’s the reason you’ve always ended up under him.

“Alpha, please,” you beg pathetically. “Need your knot.”

“Yeah? You gonna be a good girl and take my knot, ‘mega?” Dean grunts in your ear, his knot beginning to catch at your entrance.

“Yes, Alpha!” You gasp as Dean’s hand wraps around your throat, pushing your head to the side and exposing your neck.

“Of course, you are, ‘mega. Always such a good girl for your Alpha,” Dean grunts, thrusting harder and harder, trying to force his knot inside your walls, but he can’t quite slip it into your tight, slightly tense channel. 

“Gonna fill you up so good, baby girl. Knot you and fill you. You want that, huh? Want my come? My pups? Want me to ruin this pretty little neck with my mark?” he grunts, teasing your delicate skin with his teeth.

You moan, feeling another bout of slick leaking from you at his words. It’s all you want, and you choke back the tears at the regret you feel about ever starting this vicious cycle; at the cruelness of him using what you so desperately want to loosen you up enough to take what he wants.

And you hate yourself because it works.

“Yeah, I know you do, Omega. You just gotta let me in. Let me in, and I’ll fill you so good, baby. There’s no way you won’t come out of this pregnant.” You try to remind yourself that it’s only words, and you’re on birth control anyway, so it’ll never happen, but you can’t help but wish there was truth in them. 

Dean lowers his head, and you shiver when his tongue licks over your mating gland and his teeth nip at your skin.

“Alpha!” You scream, finally reaching orgasm as his knot breeches you and locks your bodies together for the foreseeable future.

“That’s m’girl,” Dean growls as he grinds into you, the tip of his member kissing your cervix. He jerks his hips, shoving impossibly further inside you, and you whine at the pleasurable pain.

“No fucking pussy better than yours, ‘mega, and it’s all fucking mine,” Dean roars and you feel the heat of the first ropes of come hitting your quivering walls, sending you into a second orgasm.

Your elbows can no longer hold your weight, and you collapse onto the bed. You hate how Dean knows what buttons to push to get you to give him what he needs. You hate your body for falling for his words. And right now, as you experience a third orgasm that has you fighting between euphoria and disgust, you’re glad Dean hasn’t claimed you, and a chemical bond is non-existent, so he can’t feel the torment you’re currently going through.

You sigh as the waves of your climax roll away, and your body melts into the mattress. Behind you, Dean moans low and long as your relaxed body allows his knot to slip in deeper, and he empties everything he has into your womb.

Dean has never come so hard with you before, and you wonder if the claiming and breeding talk did it, or if it was because he’s never been so deep inside you before. Or if he, like you, is finding it harder to fight his instincts.

He carefully rolls you both onto your sides and wraps himself around you protectively, placing soft kisses across your back and shoulder. It’s the first sign that his rut is ending, and it doesn’t surprise you that it’s a day early, given how much of his come you can feel swirling in your belly.

The afterglow you’d been basking in is quickly overshadowed with dread because you know this is the last time this would happen. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Dean will never want more with you than what you have right now. He’ll never reciprocate your feelings for him, and you refuse to put yourself through it any longer.

“You okay, Y/N? Was I too rough?” Dean asks, pressing his lips to your spine, and you know for sure he’s out of his rut because he called you by name and not “Omega” or “Baby Girl”. And if using your name hadn’t given it away, then his concern for you would have.

“No,” you say quietly. You try to shift away from him, yelping from still being locked together tightly and stretched to almost unbearable pain. You want to cry, knowing you’ll likely remain that way for over an hour. At one time, that would’ve made you the happiest little omega on the planet, being tucked safely in your alpha’s arms, him locked in you so tightly, but right now, you just want to get away from him.

“Easy, sweetheart,” Dean soothes, running his hand up and down your side. “We’re gonna be here a while. It hasn’t been like that since my first rut, and I’m jammed in there pretty tight,” Dean chuckles. “Fuck, that felt good!”

You remain still and silent, not wanting to cause yourself any further pain, and grateful that if the tears you’re holding fall, you can blame it on the discomfort you feel.

“Uh, you know all that talk about claiming and pups was just that, right? Dirty talk?” Dean speaks, breaking the silence that had formed between you. “Because this life ain’t the place for weaknesses like mating bonds and pups.”

“I know.” It comes out in a whisper, but at least you didn’t burst into tears at the final nail in the coffin of your relationship with Dean.

“Good,” he states, pulling you further into his body and settling down to sleep.

Now all you need to do is wait until Dean’s knot deflates and he’s sleeping deeply. Then you can shower the stench of the alpha from your body and return to your room. Your space. Your haven. Your nest.

ONE MONTH LATER

The trouble with witches is that they’re more intelligent than most people give them credit for. And vindictive. They’re also the most vile monsters on the planet. Still, you can’t help but admire them. Not that you’d ever admit that out loud, but you can’t deny the genius of the one you’re hunting right now that’s had the three of you running around in five different states trying to catch her.

When your luck finally turns, and you find her hideout undetected—a hundred miles from the bunker, no less—the three of you get takeout and beer in the motel room, and form a plan to take the bitch down.

As the sun comes through the threadbare drapes, rousing you from the first restful night’s sleep you’ve had in weeks, you still feel tired and too hot. Trying to kick the duvet off your overheated body, you feel a solid block behind you and sigh. Sam and Dean had insisted you all share a room, knowing you’re all on the witch’s hit list and are safer in numbers until she’s dead, so you know it can only be Dean behind you.

Becoming more awake, you notice Dean nuzzling into your neck, his lips resting on your mating gland, and his calming, intoxicating scent surrounding you. This is the closest you’ve been to him since his rut a few weeks ago, making your stomach lurch.

Quietly slipping from the bed, you smile wistfully as the green-eyed alpha whines at your sudden absence. Dean has been looking at you strangely these past two weeks. You know that he knows you’re pulling away from him, but as always with the two of you, it’s gone unspoken. Dean never talks about his feelings, and the last time you did, well, let’s just say that’s when you knew you and Dean were a sinking ship.

Grabbing underwear, jeans, a vest top, and flannel from your duffel bag, you make your way into the bathroom, wanting for once to have a long, hot shower without it turning cold when soap suds are still in your hair because the boys have used it all up.

Fully dressed and towelling your hair, the first signs of this month’s heat make themselves known as your skin prickles and the twinges start in your lower belly. This will be the first heat you’ve endured without Dean in a long time, and you pray to Chuck or whoever the fuck is running things upstairs now, that you’re strong enough to handle it.

Taking two Tylenol for the impending cramps, and a suppressant to try to ease the other symptoms of heat, you brush the tangles from your wet hair and head over to the diner to get breakfast for yourself and the two alphas, the younger whose bed is now empty having gone out for his morning run, and the older who is still snoring, his nose buried into the pillow you’d slept on.

DEAN’S POV

Dean is pacing the motel room. Y/N’s scent is still strong in the air and tinged with the beginnings of her heat, a scent that always drives him fucking wild. Her damp towel hangs on the heated rail in the bathroom, so he knows she hasn’t been gone long, but he’s worried about her. Especially lately. And especially with a conniving witch bitch hellbent on vaporising them.

Y/N has been pulling away from him lately, and her sharp tongue has left him licking his wounds more than once. He’d been wracking his brain, going over their every interaction, trying to figure out what he’d done to piss her off. What hurt him the most was her obvious despair at having to share a bed with him last night.

He and Sam agreed the three of them would stay in one room until they’d killed the bitch. They were all on the witch’s radar, but if they stayed together, at least they had safety in numbers. When he gave the news to Y/N, she looked at him as if he’d kicked a puppy right in front of her, and that felt like a knife to his gut.

He’d even thought about saying she could sleep with Sam, but the very thought of that made him want to tear his younger brother’s throat out, so he had no choice but to grin and bear her cold shoulder and the cold bed.

Not able to make and take comfort in a nest for herself, Y/N had situated herself on the bed as far away from him as possible and contorted into the tiniest little ball she physically could, making it abundantly clear to him and Sam that she felt extremely vulnerable. Dean knew that hurt not only him but Sam too.

The sound of footsteps outside the room makes Dean grab the gun filled with witch-killing bullets from the dresser and point it at the door. He relaxes his stance and lowers the weapon when he recognises Sam’s shadow through the grimy motel room window.

“Have you seen Y/N?” Dean barks at his younger brother the second he walks through the door.

“Yeah, she’s sitting in the diner eating breakfast. I ran past her a couple of minutes ago,” Sam replied, stretching his calves and putting his earphones away.

“You talk to her?”

“No. I thought it best to give her some space. With the way things have been, and, you know, she’s on the verge of a heat and, uh, she hasn’t really been herself lately, and last night with the…” Sam sighed. “What happened between you two, Dean? Because that is not the happy Omega we know.”

“I wish I knew, Sammy. I really do, but I’m at a loss here.” Dean starts to pace again, in obvious distress and breathing deeply through flared nostrils.

“When was the last time things were okay between you?” Sam asked.

“My rut last month. But even then, the last time we, uh… you know… she was off.”

“Dean,” Sam’s jaw clenched, hoping he didn’t have to kick his brother’s ass for forcing himself on her.

“I knew she was distracted. Her head wasn’t in it, and I needed her so bad—” The dawning of realisation washed over the green-eyed alpha’s features, and he felt sick.

“What did you do, Dean?”

“I, uh, I fucked up. I had to get creative with some dirty talk to slick her up enough to get my knot in, and I… fuck!” Dean sits on the bed, places his head in his hands and pulls at his hair.

“Dean,” the younger alpha’s nostrils were also flaring now, but it was from anger as opposed to his brother’s distress.

“I played on what she wants. What she really wants, Sam. I’ve always been clear with her about what we have and never used any of what she… but that night, I told her I’d claim her and give her pups.” And just like that, everything makes perfect sense to Dean. Y/N is pushing him away because she desperately wants what he teased her with. “And then, as we lay there locked together, I told her it was just talk, and I could never give it to her.”

“Jesus, Dean! You’re telling me you used her by telling her you’d give her what she wanted, then you broke her heart by taking it all back, saying she could never have it so that you could knot her? That’s low, even for you!” Sam scoffs.

“I never said she couldn’t have it. I said I couldn’t give it to her. She’s leaving me, Sammy. It’s why she’s been pushing me away. Why she feels vulnerable around me now and wants her own space all the time.”

“Yeah, and you fucking deserve it!” Sam growls as he swings for Dean, clocking him in the jaw with an almighty crack. “She loves you, Dean! And you treat her like an omega whore you’ve paid to see you through a rut?” As the younger Winchester pulls his fist back and lands another punch, the door slams, making both men jump at the sudden movement.

“Enough!” Y/N’s voice verberates through the room. “What has gotten into you two?” The pack dynamic they’d forged for themselves had Y/N as the matriarch, and so her maternal tone had them shuffle their feet and look to the floor. “We have bigger problems to deal with right now, and you two fighting like a couple of juveniles will only give the witch the ammunition she needs to take us all down!”

“Sorry, Y/N,” both alphas mumble like a couple of scolded pups.

“I brought breakfast. Eat.” It’s an order that neither alpha dared disobey. They shuffle their way over to the small table, sitting down and eating silently while Y/N checks and rechecks their duffles for the witch hunt.

Y/N’S POV

Edging silently along the wall, gun in your hand, locked and loaded, you can hear a woman’s voice and Sam grunting, and realise you only have seconds to get this right. Taking a deep breath, you step into the room, and your eyes scan the surroundings.

Sam is against the wall, struggling against invisible restraints, and the witch speaks in Latin. Knowing that can only mean trouble, you raise the gun and take a second to get your aim right between the bitch’s eyes.

It’s a second too long, and she whips her hand to the right, your gun flying from your grip and landing across the room, as she continues her Latin chant as if you weren’t just trying to kill her.

You run at the first purple spark emitted from the witch’s palms, putting yourself between Sam and the witch without hesitation. You’d missed the first part of her curse, but you’d heard enough to know that the youngest Winchester could absolutely not be hit with it. You needed to get in front of it. You couldn’t let her ruin all three of your lives.

Closing your eyes, you wait for the curse to hit, but instead, a gunshot rings through the room, and everything goes silent. You don’t get hit by a gust of wind or an electric shock… just nothing.

Peeking an eye open, you see the witch lying on the ground, blood pouring beneath her and Dean glaring at you expectantly, his nostrils flared in anger. Not wanting to deal with him right now, you rush over to Sam, scanning over him and checking he’s okay.

“Sam! Are you hurt?” you ask as you crouch beside him and scan his body for visible injuries.

“No, just winded. I’ll be fine. Are you alright?” Sam touches your forearm to stop you from fussing about him.

“She’s a hell of a lot better than she coulda been!” Dean yells across the room. “What the fuck were you thinking, Y/N, huh? Throwing yourself in front of a witch like that, you coulda been killed!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Dean. I’m—” Dean cuts off your response, marching towards you with his index finger pointing at you.

“I swear, if you say ‘I’m fine,’ so help me!” Dean only stops when he’s toe-to-toe with you, and he puffs his chest and rears his shoulders back, trying to intimidate you. Trying to make you submit to him.

“I am fine, Dean. The curse mentioned a brother, so it wouldn’t have affected me anyway,” you argue back.

“It could’ve killed you for all we know!”

“Dean, you need to calm down,” you implore.

“And you, Omega,” Dean says, his voice low and full of alpha authority and his finger dangerously close to your face, “need to start following my orders and stop purposely disobeying me because of some stupid tantrum you’re throwing! Go wait in the car.”

You do the worst possible thing you could do right now and laugh, before turning and walking away from him. You won’t let anyone speak to you like that, and you definitely won’t let Dean, either.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?… Don’t you dare walk away from me, Omega!” You can smell his pheromones from where you are and know that not only is it in pure anger, but because he’s extra on edge having being able to smell your heat and is starting to get antsy.

“Don’t try to alpha me. It won’t work. You haven’t claimed me, Dean. I am not your omega. You made it very clear that I’m only good enough to be your rut bunny, and you know what? I’m done with that, so stay the hell away from me!”

“Y/N!”

Once again, you completely ignore him and keep walking. It’s hard because your body screams for him, but you won’t let him use you. Not anymore. Never again.

“Omega!” he roars again, and you walk out the door, slamming it behind you.

Screw waiting in the Impala. You’ll make your own way back, grab your bag, and go to another motel for the night. It was going to be a long enough car ride back to the bunker tomorrow, you needed some space—for everyone’s sake.

Next Part>>

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[synmorite]

I’m from Philadelphia and I worked in medical billing and I can’t be any prouder that people do this.

[synmorite]

❤️❤️❤️

Tag List Refresh!

Hello, my pretties! I have a lot of exciting stuff coming up and (hopefully!) more to come as I attempt to fill my two bingo cards and get stuck into my ideas list!

So, I wanted to organise my tags a little better and make sure you’re on the one you want to be! I mostly write for Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen and Jensen Ackles. There may be a few Sam / Jared or John / Jeffrey Dean Morgan in there at some point, so with that in mind, if you want to be on my tag list, you can choose from:

Everything (will include RPF)

All Characters (no RPF)

All Things Jensen (will include RPF)

Dean Winchester

Beau Arlen

Drop me an ask, a DM, reply, or reblog if you want to be on there and what list you’d like! And thank you all for your support, I love you all 💖

Tagging all the lovelies that have at some point asked to be on my lists:

@acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deanoxwinchester @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deanwanddamons @frozenhuntress67 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @iprobablyshipit91 @jc-winchester @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @kayleighmeister @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @k-salla @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lilred91 @mrsjenniferwinchester @muchamusedaboutnothing @nancymcl @nelachu2423 @nic-kolas @perpetualabsurdity @rach5ive @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @silentbutscreaming @snackles87 @spnwoman @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @trannydean @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @venicesem @waters-2567 @waynes-multiverse @winchestergirl1720 @xxsovereignsarayaxx

[synmorite]

Woo!!!!

I'M BAAAAACCCCCKKKKK

Because Tumblr is doing it's tumblr thing 🙄 I'm going to do this as a separate post instead of a reblog:

After having this on an unofficial hiatus for the last 18-ish months, I am finally ready to start updating again 🎉🎉

For those who don't know, I very unexpectedly became pregnant last January (which coincidentally is about the same time I last updated) and the muses decided to no longer shine on me, and I have been adjusting to single motherhood. But now that my baby is spending every other weekend (theoretically, that is) with his dad and I'm at a much less demanding job, I'm hoping to able to write more often.

Good news though! Don't Speak is finished!! With the exception of an epilogue, which may get tacked on to the last chapter depending on its length, everything is done and is currently being beta'd.

I had to change some plans for the final chapters, essentially writing one very long chapter (9k+) and we are working on if and where to split into more manageable length chapters. So, expect at least 2 more chapters and a possible epilogue 🙂

Thanks to everyone who's been patient with me, and the very kind asks ♥️♥️♥️

I hope to have the next part posted by no later than the end of next week, and all others will be posted on a weekly basis until complete.

Love you all and I can't wait for you to read the final parts of this crazy ride.

You can catch up here: Don't Speak Masterlist

If you are interested in being tagged in the last few parts please send me an ask, DM, or reblog 😁

Also be on the lookout for a new series - Sleeping with Other People - posting dates tbd but I'll have a teaser for you soon 😉

@akshi8278 @that-one-gay-girl @supraveng @coldmuffinbanditshoe @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan  @screechingartisancashbailiff @flamencodiva @lyarr24 @slamminmine @ilovetaquitosmmmm @deandreamernp @stoneyggirl @spnbaby-67 @sandlee44 @spngi @drakelover78 @mrswhozeewhatsis   @mimaria420 @spnbaby-67 ​ @black-rose-29 @luvmybbies @manawhaat @pink-sparkly-witch  @pisces-cutie @deeranger @shaelyn102 @negansnympho89 @rominaszh

@negans-lucille-tblr @the-knights-of-ne @drakelover78 @jarpad24 @flutistbyday2020 @cockslutpadalecki @rededfoxy @negansnympho89 @synmorite @writethelifeyouwant

[synmorite]

WHAT DOES THE LETTER SAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

The One That Got Away - Chapter Five

Warnings: tw: child abuse, tw: physical abuse, tw: slut shaming, angst, language.

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: There are TRIGGER WARNINGS in this part - please heed these, and if you think you’ll be affected by any of them, please do not read.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

“Dean,” Mary got up from the table and went to the fridge, opening its door and pulling out a beer bottle. “Have a seat, sweetie,” she said, pulling out a chair and putting the bottle on the wooden dining table.

“Thanks, Mom. So, what don’t I know?”

“Sounds like Y/N might be back in town, son,” John said. “We don’t know for sure yet, only Jess has seen her, but she’s a nurse, and if it is her, she’s going by Singer now,” John carefully eyed Dean. Seeing his son go through such a range of emotions was heartbreaking.

“Yeah, it’s her,” Dean whispered, wiping his hands down his face.

Clearing his throat, Dean downed half of his beer in one swallow. “Bobby told me after Thursday's shift before I went fishing with Benny and Cas. Danny’s not got long left. His liver and heart are going, and he’s in a hospice. So, Bobby called her and said it might be time to think about coming home.”

“I didn’t even think of making the connection to Bobby,” Jess said softly. “He’s her uncle?” she clarified, and Dean nodded.

“Her mom’s brother. Caroline died in a fire when Y/N was little. Then her dad turned to booze and beatings to cope with his grief,” he glanced at Jess, who had a horrified frown on her features.

“From what I saw today and how caring and kind she was to me, I’d never have guessed she went through something like that,” Jess commented, and Dean chuckled.

“That’s Y/N for you! Carries the whole damn world on her shoulders, and you’d never know it. She cares about those around her way more than she cares about herself. She always has,” he smiled.

“You guys were a thing back in the day?” Jess asked curiously, and Dean let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah, you could say that! Dad, Bobby, and Danny go way back, and Mom and Caroline became best friends, so Y/N and I grew up together. We were best friends before we became childhood sweethearts. She was my first everything, and I was hers.”

“They could’ve been married with a couple of kids and a dog by now if he’d asked her to stay,” Mary pointed out, and Dean shook his head in exasperation. “Did Bobby say if anyone came with her?” she continued, trying to find out if someone had followed her from her past life.

“No. No husband or boyfriend,” Dean smiled, knowing the real reason behind his mom’s question. “Bobby said she dated but never settled with anyone. Apparently, she was a love them and leave them, too!” he chuckled just a little bitterly.

“Cute little thing like her, bet she broke some hearts!” Mary grinned. “Now that she’s back, are you gonna finally tell me why you didn’t ask her to stay back then? You and I both know she would’ve if you’d asked her to,” she enquired gently.

“I wanted to. God, I wanted to so bad! But I couldn’t do that to her,” Dean rubbed a hand down his face. “You’re right, Ma. She’d have stayed if I asked her to, and she asked me to ask her. If I had, I’d have married her as soon as we were eighteen, got her out of that godforsaken house. Ain’t no doubt about it. But I couldn’t.” He stood from his seat and brought the whiskey out of the liquor cabinet with three glasses. Mary wasn’t a whiskey drinker, and Jess was pregnant, so John took one of them and Sam another.

“She took a damn beating every day for fifteen years, Ma, from the one person who was supposed to protect her. He was her only parent, and he beat her because she looked too much like her mom. Because she survived,” Dean fumed as he fought to keep the tears at bay.

“Her mom begged him to get her out of that house, and he punished her for it. She was only three years old! That’s her first memory, the fire and her mom screaming at her dad to make sure she got out. Did you know that?” It was a rhetorical question, but the hurt and shock were hard for everyone to hide.

“I don’t know if she still does, but before she left, that memory used to replay itself as a nightmare whenever she was scared or stressed. Y/N didn’t deserve any of it. She deserved a life without beatings and abuse, and hatred. And if going to Chicago instead of Lawrence, fuck, even Kansas City or Wichita gave her that, then who was I to stop her?

“If I’d asked her to stay, her life wouldn’t be any better because of it. Sure, I could’ve protected her from the beatings and got her away from him. But Jody would still call her whenever he got arrested. Y/N would still have to deal with his rage, and she’d still fall victim to his verbal assaults and vulgar degrading. I did the only thing I could to truly protect her and… I let her go.”

Mary rushed over to him and hugged him tightly, trying to ease the pain her eldest son still felt after all this time, and she knew then what she had to do. Mumbling that she’d be right back, she headed upstairs to her bedroom and opened the drawer on her bedside cabinet. She pulled the ageing envelope out, the word ‘Dean’ scrawled in blue ink in unmistakable handwriting and returned downstairs.

“Years ago, Y/N wrote me a letter,” Mary explained to Sam and Jess, as the others already knew about it. “She was in therapy, and her therapist thought it’d be a good idea to write letters to the people she cared about most, and she told me what happened. We all knew something was happening, but I had no idea the extent of it. The fractured skull when she was six? Choking her at seventeen because she missed curfew?” Mary shook her head in disgust. John wrapped his arms around Mary to stop himself from getting in his car and killing the sick bastard himself.

“Was it ever…?” Sam let his question hang in the air, not wanting or needing it to be said aloud.

“It fucking better not have been, or I’ll kill the bastard myself!” John fumed.

“No, thank God,” Dean answered. “Always physical and verbal. The fractured skull and when he choked her were the worst he’s done to her. There were countless other fractured and broken bones, though. He was smart, and that made me so fucking mad! He’d always play off the broken bones as just a kid being a kid, you know? He’d say she fell from the climbing frame in the park or got injured doing gymnastics or playing hockey or netball. She fractured her skull and had a severe concussion from falling down the stairs, not because he pushed her so hard she fell into a fucking hardwood coffee table. 

“The manipulative bastard hardly ever left a mark where anyone could see. She had a few black eyes and bruises on her arms throughout the years, and that was it, at least until he tried to strangle her. He damn near killed her that night. She was blacking in and out of consciousness and only got him off her by hitting him over the head with her mom’s crystal vase. She knocked him out cold!” he chuckled sadly. “All because she was helping me graduate. He thought she missed curfew because she was “whoring herself out” to me, but she was helping me study. I never forgave myself for that.”

“Don’t blame yourself, son. Y/N told me you knew everything and made her feel safe and loved. She told me you blamed yourself for what happened to her that night, but she knew it would have been something else if it wasn’t because she missed curfew. She never blamed you for it. For any of it,” Mary smiled sadly at Dean’s scoff of laughter. “And she apologised. For leaving you and breaking your heart,” Mary said, desperate to comfort him.

“I broke hers more when I didn’t ask her to stay,” Dean responded. “If I could go back, I’d…” he sniffed, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“I know you were hurt when a letter never came for you. But one did, and it was in with mine. Y/N told me to give you this when the time was right and if it was in your best interests. I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever give it to you. If the time would ever be right, but that time is now. I’m not gonna apologise for keeping this from you,” Mary held her hand up to cut off his rebuttal. “If I’d given this to you all those years ago, you’d have run off after her, and I don’t think you’d like what you would’ve found,” she finished as she handed him the letter.

Dean sobbed as he recognised her handwriting and ran his fingers gently over the faded ink. Turning it over, he glanced up at his mom, a silent question hanging between them.

“I didn’t read it. It wasn’t my place to,” Mary raised her hand, wiped his wet cheeks, and gave him a gentle wink. Dean tore open the envelope without another second’s hesitation.

Next Chapter >>

Tag list: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman @snackles87 @perpetualabsurdity @hoboal87 @synmorite @nancymcl @trannydean @nic-kolas @jc-winchester @winchestergirl1720 @globetrotter28 @nelachu2423 @kayleighmeister @venicesem @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @suckitands33 @tristanrosspada-ackles @silentbutscreaming @lacilou @sandlee44 @kmc1989 @chriszgirl92 @ashbatz @k-slla @jamerlynn @waters-2567 @kazsrm67

[synmorite]

I can’t believe I have to wait another week. 😩😩😩

The One That Got Away - Chapter Four

Warning: tw: child abuse, tw: verbal abuse, tw: physical abuse, mentions of therapy.

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: There are TRIGGER WARNINGS in this part - please heed these, and if you think you’ll be affected by any of them, please do not read. You can catch up here!

 My Masterli st AO3    Buy me a Ko-Fi

“Hey, kiddo! Did you just come off shift?” Jody greeted her brightly.

“No, I came off an extended double at two o’clock this morning, and I’m back in tonight at seven. Is Uncle Bobby home?” Y/N asked.

“Not yet, sweetie. He took his crew for breakfast. Why? Is everything okay?” The concern she heard in Jody’s tone made her smile.

“Yeah, everything’s good, it’s just… are you still looking for a new tenant for the apartment? ‘Cause I got myself a job at Lawrence Memorial and need to find somewhere to live!” Y/N grinned.

“You did not!” Jody’s excitement made her buzz.

“Emergency Nurse Practitioner, Y/N Singer at your service!” she laughed at Jody’s gleeful screech.

“Bobby’s gonna be so happy! He might even crack a smile!” Jody joked.

“Hold up now. Let’s not get crazy!” Y/N replied, and both women cackled with laughter.

“When do you start?” Jody asked once their joy settled.

“The beginning of next month. I’ll work for three more weeks, hammer the overtime, and get extra money for moving costs and furniture. I’ll spend the last week packing and shipping. I’ll probably move out there the Thursday before I start. That gives me the weekend to unpack and settle,” Y/N said.

“How are you feeling about coming home, kiddo?” 

“Uhm, okay, I guess? It’s time. Uncle Bobby was right about that, but don’t tell him I said that!” Y/N giggled.

“I’d never dream of it!” Jody chuckled.

“It’ll be strange, don’t get me wrong, but it is time. I need to stop hiding. I need to finally deal with my shit, you know? My father and…”

“Dean?” Jody pushed gently at Y/N’s sudden silence.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Bobby doesn’t talk to me about him. I know he’s not married, but he might be with someone. There’s still so much there for me, and I think… I know I need to talk it out. Move forward, whatever that looks like.”

“He’s single. He’s had as much luck on the dating front as you have. He doesn’t have a friend like you do, though. He’s more of a one-night-only kinda guy,” Jody chuckled.

“Ha! Been there, done that!” Y/N scoffed a laugh.

“I did not need to know that!” The grin she could hear in Jody’s voice told her she was teasing, and both women laughed heartily.

“Seriously, kiddo, I think reaching out to Dean is a great idea. I’m sure you both have a lot to discuss. You both need to move on, one way or another.” Jody said gently.

“Yeah, I know. It’s easier said than done, though,” Y/N sighed.

“Everything worth having, doing or saying always is, Y/N.”

“When did you become so wise?” Y/N sniggered.

“Hey! Watch it, or you’ll be sleeping in your car when you get back!” Jody jokingly scolded, and Y/N laughed again.

“Alright, kiddo, I gotta get ready for my shift. Bobby and I will have the apartment cleaned and freshened up for you. Let me know when you start shipping stuff, and you can send it to us first. We’ll get it there for you.”

“Thanks, Jody. I’ll call Bobby later after he’s had some time to sleep, but if you see him before you head out…”

“I’ll tell him his princess is coming home,” Jody said excitedly, and she was starting to wonder who was more excited about her coming home.

“Thanks. I love you, Jody.”

“Love you too, kiddo.”

Y/N ended the call and fell back onto the mattress with a relieved sigh. She knew she’d be welcomed back to Lawrence with open arms, at least by Uncle Bobby and Jody. Still, she’d been gone far too long, and there was this tiny nagging doubt in her mind that said no one wanted her back after the chaos she’d caused by leaving in the first place.

Jody had become so much more than an aunt to Y/N when she and Bobby started dating. She was her best friend and confidante but never slid into the ‘mom’ role. That was, and would always be, Mary Winchester. 

As part of her therapy, Y/N had written five letters. One to herself, three to the people she cared for most in the world, and one to her father. She’d sent three of those letters. Okay, technically, she’d sent two. She felt the people hurt most by her departure needed an explanation: Mary and Uncle Bobby.

Dean knew everything she’d been through - it was why she understood him not asking her to stay - but Mary and Uncle Bobby didn’t. Y/N made Dean promise not to tell anyone, and Dean was a man of his word. She knew everyone knew something was going on at home; the bruises and flinching at loud noises needed no explanation, but she never admitted to it to anyone but Dean.

The blame she had for her mother’s death, the wish it’d been her instead, Dean was the only one who knew all of it. He was also the only person who knew the vile words, insults, and almost daily degradation she’d been through. Only she, Dean, and her therapist knew about every time he struck her and every harsh word he’d voiced at her.

So, it was with incredible strength that Y/N wrote it down in a letter. She relived everything her father had subjected her to and apologised to Mary for breaking her son’s heart. She’d put Dean’s letter beside Mary’s with instructions to give it to him “at the right time.” However, Y/N also knew there was a chance Mary would never give him the letter, so she’d reluctantly added, “if you think it’s in his best interests,” at the end.

She still didn’t know if Dean had read her letter, but Mary replied, telling her she had forgiven her and loved her. She’d always love her and was sorry for everything her father had put her through. Y/N had expected it but was still shocked by the anger Mary had expressed towards her for not speaking up when she and John would’ve done everything in their power to protect her and get her out of her father’s house, but Y/N knew it ultimately wouldn’t have made a difference.

“Dean?” Bobby said at the end of the shift. “Can I have a minute?”

“Sure, Chief. What’s up?” Dean asked as he walked into Bobby’s office.

“Close the door and take a seat,” Bobby said as he pushed aside the paperwork from last night’s fire.

“I’m sure you remember I spoke to Y/N and asked her to think about coming home,” Bobby said gently.

“Yeah, I remember,” Dean swallowed nervously. She wasn’t coming. He could feel it.

“A few weeks ago, she came here-” Bobby started, raising his hands in a ‘hold on, let me finish’ gesture at the anger and hurt that settled on Dean’s face.

“I didn’t know she was here. She flew in and out the same day because she had an interview at Memorial. She didn’t tell us because she had to be back in Chicago to work a night shift,” Bobby smiled softly as Dean’s body and face relaxed, and he slumped back in his chair.

“How’d she do?” Dean asked, his voice shaky.

“She starts on Monday,” Bobby grinned as Dean smiled. “She’s moving into Jody’s apartment over the weekend.”

“Does she, uh,” Dean started and cleared his throat before he tried again. “Is there anyone coming with her? You know, boyfriend, kid, dog?” he chuckled, trying to act nonchalant, but Bobby saw right through him.

“No,” he smiled at the younger man. “She’s dated, but nothing ever stuck. According to Jody, she was the love ‘em and leave ‘em type until she made an arrangement with a friend,” Bobby shifted in his chair uncomfortably. Dean couldn’t stop the smirk crossing his face at seeing his mentor squirm. 

“No doubt she broke a lot of hearts!” Dean chuckled, and Bobby smiled wistfully.

“I’m sure she did. Now go on, get outta here! Enjoy your long weekend fishing at the cabin. I’ll see you next week.”

“Thanks, Bobby,” Dean said as he stood.

“For what?” Bobby raised his eyebrow in confusion.

“Telling me about Y/N/N.”

“Promised I would, didn’t I? Besides, can’t have you running into her with one of your love ‘em and leave ‘ems on your arm now, can we?” he winked. “Go on now, get!”

“Hey, are you okay, babe?” Sam asked, flustered as he ran into his parents’ house.

“I’m fine, Sam!” Jess smiled as she rolled her eyes playfully at his concern.

“Are you sure? Did you get checked out properly?” he asked, eyes scanning every inch of her to ensure no sign of illness or injury.

“Sam, babe,” Jess said as calmly as she could, smiling a greeting at John when he entered the kitchen. “I’m fine. I felt a little faint at work, and the new nurse, who is so lovely and not a bitter old bitch like the last one, took me into a room and checked me over. She took a blood sample and gave me a scan just to be sure. It was a little low blood sugar, and she made me sit on the bed until we’d eaten chocolate and drank a soda. I promise I’m much better now. Rowena sent me home for the rest of the day to take it easy. I’m under strict orders to eat at least one more chocolate bar or a slice of cake, put my feet up, and get some rest.”

“You’re sure?” Sam checked again.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she laughed. “Yes! I promise! I’m taking Y/N’s advice and being waited on by an anxious grandmother-to-be for a few hours while I take it easy!”

“Y/N?” Mary asked, placing a generous slab of lemon drizzle cake before Jess and Sam. “It wouldn’t happen to be Y/N Y/L/N by any chance, would it?” Mary finished with a little chuckle as if it was nothing, but it came out more like a plea.

“No,” Jess mumbled around a mouthful of cake. “Y/N Singer. But when she heard my name was Winchester, she asked if I was any relation to you guys. She said she went to school with Dean. Maybe she got married?” she said, putting more cake in her mouth.

“What?” Jess asked at the sudden silence in the room.

“Maybe she took her mama’s name when she left,” John voiced what had been on everyone’s mind.

“Do you think Dean knows?” Sam questioned, and Jess looked downright confused.

“Dean knows what?” Dean asked, returning from the bathroom and leaning against the kitchen doorframe.

Next Chapter >>

Tag list: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman @snackles87 @perpetualabsurdity @hoboal87 @synmorite @nancymcl @trannydean @nic-kolas @jc-winchester @winchestergirl1720 @globetrotter28 @nelachu2423 @kayleighmeister @venicesem @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @suckitands33 @tristanrosspada-ackles @silentbutscreaming @lacilou @kazsrm67 @sandlee44 @kmc1989 @chriszgirl92 @ashbatz @k-slla @waters-2567

[synmorite]

I’d say I’d be mad, but I’d be lying. 🤣

(Also, please tag me.)

Coming Soon...

Summary: Childhood sweethearts, Dean and Y/N, are very much in love with each other. When she accepts a full scholarship to an out-of-state college, she finally gets to leave behind her traumatic childhood and abusive father, but it means leaving Dean behind too.

Over a decade later, Y/N returns to Lawrence, Kansas, and finally tries to heal the only wounds she has left… the psychological and emotional scars her father gave her and the heartbreak she endured by Dean Winchester, the one that got away.

A/N: This story will contain flashbacks and mentions of the physical and verbal abuse of a child. If this is a sensitive subject for you or you might be triggered by this content, please consider whether this story is right for you.

A/N 2: I’ve tagged those who’ve previously asked to be on my tag list, but please, please let me know if you want to be removed for this one. And if you want to be added, just comment, DM, or Ask!

When she told Uncle Bobby she had no intention of returning to Lawrence until her father was gone, he and Jody booked a slot at City Hall to get married and asked her and Dean to be their witnesses. Y/N was delighted to be able to share their special day with them.

Saying goodbye to them was hard, but her goodbye with Dean last night had been so much worse. As she pulled out onto the main road that led out of town, she sighed deeply as her memory flashed back to last night.

Y/N and Dean had spent the whole night together, their true feelings escaping them in the throes of passion. It wasn’t their first time together, but it was the most special, closely followed by the time they took each other’s virginity when they were both sixteen.

Her feelings for Dean ran deep. He’d always owned her heart, and after a night of raw, emotional lovemaking, she knew he always would. Who knew? Maybe one day she’d come back to Lawrence, come back to him. But it wasn’t fair for either of them to live on a maybe.

“Ask me to stay,” Y/N whispered in the darkness of her bedroom. Both of them were naked, sweating, and basking in their afterglows.

“You know I can’t do that, princess. I want to, but I can’t,” he responded, his voice cracking with emotion before he kissed her bare shoulder. Her lip trembled, but she swallowed her tears and rolled over to straddle his waist.

“Then make love to me again, Dean.”

She wiped a tear from her cheek and grinned wildly at the road sign despite her sad emotions. 

“YOU ARE NOW LEAVING LAWRENCE”

Tag list: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman

[synmorite]

Aaah, you’re gonna hurt me again. (And I love it.)

Coming Soon...

Summary: Childhood sweethearts, Dean and Y/N, are very much in love with each other. When she accepts a full scholarship to an out-of-state college, she finally gets to leave behind her traumatic childhood and abusive father, but it means leaving Dean behind too.

Over a decade later, Y/N returns to Lawrence, Kansas, and finally tries to heal the only wounds she has left… the psychological and emotional scars her father gave her and the heartbreak she endured by Dean Winchester, the one that got away.

A/N: This story will contain flashbacks and mentions of the physical and verbal abuse of a child. If this is a sensitive subject for you or you might be triggered by this content, please consider whether this story is right for you.

A/N 2: I’ve tagged those who’ve previously asked to be on my tag list, but please, please let me know if you want to be removed for this one. And if you want to be added, just comment, DM, or Ask!

When she told Uncle Bobby she had no intention of returning to Lawrence until her father was gone, he and Jody booked a slot at City Hall to get married and asked her and Dean to be their witnesses. Y/N was delighted to be able to share their special day with them.

Saying goodbye to them was hard, but her goodbye with Dean last night had been so much worse. As she pulled out onto the main road that led out of town, she sighed deeply as her memory flashed back to last night.

Y/N and Dean had spent the whole night together, their true feelings escaping them in the throes of passion. It wasn’t their first time together, but it was the most special, closely followed by the time they took each other’s virginity when they were both sixteen.

Her feelings for Dean ran deep. He’d always owned her heart, and after a night of raw, emotional lovemaking, she knew he always would. Who knew? Maybe one day she’d come back to Lawrence, come back to him. But it wasn’t fair for either of them to live on a maybe.

“Ask me to stay,” Y/N whispered in the darkness of her bedroom. Both of them were naked, sweating, and basking in their afterglows.

“You know I can’t do that, princess. I want to, but I can’t,” he responded, his voice cracking with emotion before he kissed her bare shoulder. Her lip trembled, but she swallowed her tears and rolled over to straddle his waist.

“Then make love to me again, Dean.”

She wiped a tear from her cheek and grinned wildly at the road sign despite her sad emotions. 

“YOU ARE NOW LEAVING LAWRENCE”

Tag list: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman

[synmorite]

PLEASE write more Beau! I am such a white for that man and there is not enough Beau.

Absolutely loved this fic. The angst and the smut! Umpf! ♥️

Taken for Granted - Part Two

Summary: Having had his share of dangerous situations and close calls in Houston, this was meant to be the start of a quieter, slower life for Beau, Y/N and their daughter. Taking the job as Acting Sheriff in Helena, Montana, was a dream come true until Beau starts to spend far too much time with Jenny Hoyt, in and out of the office. At first, Y/N doesn’t mind too much, but one night Beau misses his daughter’s hockey tryouts and phone calls in favour of shooting tequila in a bar with his co-worker, and Y/N isn’t sure if she’s being taken for granted or if something bigger is going on that she needs to worry about.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ Only, angst, misunderstandings, language, making up, fluff, smut, p in v

Bingo Square: Make Up Sex for @j3bingo

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: I sincerely hope this doesn’t disappoint… a few comments I’ve had seem to want this to be a bigger thing than it is, but it was always only going to be a fight and needy make up sex.

Though I make no promises, what I will say is that this was my first time writing for Beau and I kinda fell in love with this little family, so maybe I’ll go back to these guys and investigate their past a little more, who knows?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the submission for the Make Up Sex square for @j3bingo. And another thank you to @writethelifeyouwant for beta’ing for me (even though I added another little part once you sent it back to me because apparently I can’t help myself 🤷🏼‍♀️)

The next few days were nothing short of torture for Beau. Y/N’s code of silence had spread to include Maisie and he didn’t know why. He thought everything was fine between them, and it was his wife he was in the doghouse with, but he seemed to have unknowingly upset his daughter again, too.

Regardless, he did everything in his power to be home in time for dinner and hadn’t even entertained the thought of going for drinks after work this past week. When Jenny asked him to go for a beer last night, he’d said no, that he spent enough time with the people in this office and was going home to spend time with his wife and daughter. When she had insisted, he reminded her that as her happily married boss and the sheriff of this town, they needed to maintain a professional relationship at all times. Jenny had tried to play it down, but his years as a detective meant that he saw right through it. He told her that he was her boss and her friend, but that was all he’d ever be.

Beau initially thought that maybe Y/N was jealous of Jenny for some reason and that was why she’d had such an extreme reaction to that night in the bar, but seeing for himself that Jenny did have feelings for him, made him see the whole situation in a different light.

He’d told Jenny when he left that night not to expect him for the next few days and that she was in charge–he was going to take a well overdue long-weekend–and to only call him if it were truly life or death, and that he’d see her on Tuesday.

Maisie was going on a school field trip for the weekend, and he would be the one to drop her off, using the journey as an excuse to talk to her and find out what was going on. He was also planning to use his weekend off to make it up to Y/N.

His home and his family were always happy and bubbly and filled with joy, and he hated that his sanctuary, his happy place, had a huge dark cloud looming over it. He was going to fix it. He needed to.

“Did you pack a first aid kit?” Y/N asked with Maisie stuck in her suffocating embrace.

“Yes, mom.” This had been going on for five minutes now, and Maisie couldn’t hide her impatience if she tried.

“Pepper spray? You know you might come across bears or badgers or possums in the mountains,” Y/N questioned.

“Yes, Mom! Can I go now? I’m going to be late!”

“Okay,” Y/N pressed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead and finally let her go. “Have fun, and be careful.”

“Yes, Mom.” Maisie playfully rolled her eyes.

“I love you, honey.” Y/N’s voice caught as she tried to fight back the tears.

“Love you too,” Maisie smiled as she grabbed her backpack and walked out the door.

“You know she’ll be back in three days, right?” Beau smiled softly at her, his heart aching at seeing her so hung up about being away from their daughter for the weekend.

“I know. It just makes me think about her leaving for college, even if it is still two years away.”

“Me too,” Beau nodded solemnly. “Are you coming straight home after work?”

“I’ll be home around six,” Y/N nodded. The conversation was still a little stilted between them, but at least she was talking to him.

“Alright, I’ll cook. Maybe we can share a bottle of wine? Have a quiet night in, and make the most of the empty house. What d’ya say, darlin’?”

“You’re going to cook?” Y/N smirked, and he grinned at her look of complete disbelief. “The last time you attempted that, you nearly burned the house down!” she laughed and he was quick to join her.

“When I say cook, what I mean is buy some meat and fire up the grill,” Beau said, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear with a smile.

“That would be nice,” she smiled back. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you,” Beau said, hoping this time she’d say it back and not murmur an ‘uh huh’ like she’d done for the past week.

“I love you, too.” Y/N walked closer to him, lifted onto her tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. 

“So, are you excited for this?” Beau asked Maisie once they were driving down the street.

“Uh huh,” Maisie replied, her fingers flying across her phone as she typed something to someone.

“The house is gonna be quiet without you. Too quiet,” he chuckled, trying again.

“Uh huh,” she replied again, putting her phone away and turning her head to look out the window. She was so much like her mother that Beau often wondered where his genes had landed in her.

“You know, at least when your mom gives me the silent treatment, I know why. You wanna tell me what’s going on here?” Beau glanced over to her, and he could see her chewing on her bottom lip—another trait she got from her mother—and he knew she was just about ready to crack open. “Come on, talk to me, baby girl. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what I’m tryna fix.”

“Are you cheating on Mom with Hoyt?” Maisie finally asked, saying Jenny’s name with a disdain Beau had never heard from her before.

“No. Absolutely not.” It was an automatic response, one that needed no pause or dancing around; it was irrefutable.

“Then why did you lie to Mom about where you were the night of my hockey game?” she countered and Beau could see her eyes beginning to water.

“I didn’t lie, I–”

“You told Mom you caught a case, but the next day, I saw the photos of you and her that night in a bar!”

“Listen to me, Maze, please? That night after work, I went for drinks with Jenny because she really needed a friend and I was there for her. Nothing happened then, has ever happened, or will ever happen between us because I love your mom.”

“Then why did you lie about it?”

“I didn’t. Your mom knows where I was. She tore me a new one when I got home, and she knows I’d never, ever do that to her. She still got pretty pissed at me for that night though, and how those photos look and what they’d look like to you. And, on some serious reflection, I completely understand why she was so upset.

“When I missed your game and your phone calls which–just so you know–I’m still beating myself up over, Mom made up the story about catching a case so that you wouldn’t be more upset than you already were.”

“So… Mom lied?”

“To protect you,” Beau responded. “And, I think, to hit home just how much I was hurting you and her with the late nights at the office and the too frequent bar visits.”

“There really isn’t anything going on? Because those photos are…”

“Bad. I know,” Beau nodded. “Emotions were running high that night for Jenny and I didn’t see it at the time, but I’ve since realised that she has some… feelings for me. I promise I’ve shut it down. I’ve explained that I am her friend, but I’m also her boss. Her happily married boss, and that we need to maintain professional boundaries.”

“Does Mom know that?” Maisie asked as the car came to a stop outside the high school.

“Well, I think you know that she’s not speaking to me right now, but I’ve taken a few days off and tonight I’m gonna fire up the grill and talk to her.”

“Good, because I don’t want you and Mom to get divorced,” Maisie whispered and Beau pulled her into a hug.

“We’re not getting a divorce, baby girl. Your mom and I have been through a hell of a lot worse than this and it hasn’t broken us. I promise this won’t either, okay?”

Beau’s heart broke for his little girl and it strengthened his resolve to fix his mess and never make the same mistake again.

Although Y/N was warming up to him again, he still made sure to do everything he could to gain some extra brownie points. He mowed the lawn, fixed the leaking tap, and oiled the garage doors so they wouldn’t sound like a screaming banshee every time they opened. Everything that had been on Y/N’s to-do list for weeks had been done.

Beau prepped the grill and set the dining table using the so-called “fancy” plates and wine glasses that Y/N only used for special occasions. A dozen red roses stood proudly in a vase between two candlesticks, and he’d lit a couple of her favourite scented candles, dotting their glass holders around the table. 

To top everything off, after he’d dropped Maisie at school, he drove across town to go to the bakery she loved and got her favourite dessert. He’d then gone back across town to buy dinner and made sure he picked up her favourite wine from the liquor store. Tonight he was going all out.

With everything done, Beau showered and trimmed his beard, painstakingly making sure it was the length Y/N liked it. He dressed smart and used the aftershave she’d bought him for Christmas.

He knew his wife, and though he knew everything he’d done around the house would go a long way to getting back into her good graces, the biggest thing he could do was make an effort. To buy her favourite wine or dessert, to wear his hair and beard the way she liked it, to wear the scent she loved on him. Those are the things that would mean the most to her because he’d done it for her.

When Y/N got home, Beau was in the backyard checking on the grill. She strolled through the house, smiling at the perfectly set dining table and beautiful flowers. She paused to smell them and felt a flutter in her stomach as she saw the candles and a bottle of her favourite red, open and breathing next to two crystal glasses. Walking into the kitchen, she headed over to the open French doors, leaned against their frame and watched her husband stoking the coals in the grill.

“Don’t you look handsome! I feel very underdressed,” she said, smirking as he jumped slightly at her voice and turned towards her.

“You look beautiful as you are, darlin’, but there’s time to freshen up if you want to.”

“I know what you’re doing,” Y/N bit her lip in an effort to stop her growing grin.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Beau smirked as he put the lid on the grill down and slowly edged towards her.

“The lawn, the garage, the wine, the flowers… you’re trying to seduce me.”

“Is it working?” Beau grinned, knowing that it was. For twenty years he’d been playing her like a symphony. By this point, he was a maestro. 

“Maybe…” Y/N chuckled as Beau slid his arms around her waist and pulled her into his solid body.

“How can I change that ‘maybe’ to a ‘yes’?” Beau murmured, running his hands up and down her back.

“Hmm,” she hummed as a shiver ran through her body at the feeling of his hands touching her. “Well, you’re getting close.”

“Is that so?” Beau smiled and pecked her lips… jaw… neck.

His beard tickled her skin and made her shiver, and her knees weakened with every stroke of his large, warm hands up and down her spine. Gently, Beau pushed her away from the door and back into the house, only stopping when the kitchen island prevented them from going any further.

Beau pulled his lips from her throat and settled his gaze on hers. Softly gripping her chin with his thumb and forefinger, he tilted her head up and brought his lips to meet hers. The kiss started with soft, slow pecks before he became impatient and began licking at her lips, begging for permission to deepen their connection.

Y/N’s hands slid around his shoulders and pulled him closer as their tongues met in a passionate kiss. Beau had missed this. Missed her. Y/N was an affectionate person, and it wasn’t something she usually withdrew when she was mad because it was a punishment for her too. But he’d really fucked up this time and so she’d not only withdrawn her affections, she’d withdrawn herself from him completely.

He knew it wasn’t all him; she had some deep-rooted insecurities that came from her childhood. Always feeling like she wasn’t good enough or didn’t belong had plagued her growing up. Then when she chose not to go into the family business, she felt she was a disappointment. The black sheep. Different–and not in a good way.

Y/N had always told Beau that it was him who made those insecurities go away, and the few times they had snuck back in, comforting words of love and praise would usually get her out of it. This time though, when he’d likely been instrumental in her insecurities coming back, he wasn’t sure it’d be that easy.

“I’m sorry,” Beau spoke, breaking their kiss. “I know what I did was wrong and I know how much I hurt you.”

“And Maisie,” Y/N added. “What happened there, by the way?”

Beau sighed loudly, the conversation this morning with his daughter replaying in his mind. “She saw the photos and thought I was having an affair with Jenny.”

“Beau-”

“I know, Y/N. I talked to her and straightened everything out, okay? Maisie is fine now. And while we’re kinda on the subject, I’ve set things straight with Jenny, too. You were right, there are feelings on her side, but I do not reciprocate them, and I told her that. I love you, baby. Always have, always will.”

“I know,” Y/N smiled softly, and Beau saw some of her worries melt away from her furrowed brow. “Thank you for what you’ve done to fix things with Maze. And for the Jenny thing.”

“No need for thanks, darlin’. I’m only doing what’s right by my family.”

“I know, but I appreciate it all the same.” Y/N’s hands slid up his neck and into his hair, gently tugging on its length. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“Never doubted it, baby,” Beau winked and cupped her cheeks with his large palms. “And you know you’re my only girl, right? That it’ll only ever be you.”

“Never doubted it, baby.” Y/N grinned

After dinner, Beau and Y/N settled onto the sofa to watch a movie but found themselves too distracted to watch it. Beau’s hand squeezed at her thigh and steadily crept higher and higher up her leg. Y/N’s hand curled around his neck, and her nails gently scraped over his skin and into his hair.

The gentle touches turned into soft kisses which heated up quickly until the pair were making out on the sofa like a couple of teenagers.

“Not to push my luck here or anything, I know I’m still on shaky ground, but do you wanna move this upstairs?” Beau said as he reluctantly pulled away from her lips.

“I’d like that. A lot. I missed you,” Y/N replied.

Beau untangled his limbs from hers and stood from the sofa. He held his hand out and helped her stand and together, made their way to their bedroom.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. Not a day goes by that I don’t ask myself how I got to be the one that married you.” Beau rasped as he crawled up the bed. He was going to ease any concerns she still had by worshipping her.

“I love this body,” he continued as his hands trailed under her shirt. “So sexy, and always so responsive to my touch.” Beau slid his hands under her shirt, over her lace bra, and cupped her breasts with his large palms, smirking when he heard her gasp.

“I love these breasts and that little sigh that you make every time I touch them.” He slid his hands down, gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, throwing it behind him.

“I love the little whimper you give me when I do this…” he pulled the cups of her bra down, exposing her pebbled nipples. Taking one in his mouth, he hummed as he sucked greedily on it.

Y/N whimpered and tossed her head back. “Beau, please,” she begged, her hands gripping his hair and pulling.

“You like that, don’t ya, darlin’?” Beau pulled his lips from her sweet bud and switched to using his fingers to tease and tweak. “Like it when I play with these,” he murmured as he massaged her chest.

“Baby, please,” Y/N begged again. “Don’t tease me. Not tonight.”

Beau pulled away from her and kneeled on the bed. He quickly removed his shirt and threw it on the floor where it met hers. Standing from the bed, Beau took off his belt, unbuttoned his jeans, pushed them to his ankles and kicked them off.

Turning his gaze back to Y/N, he chuckled seeing that she was completely naked and looking at him expectantly.

“What?” she asked innocently, spreading her legs.

“You’re killing me, darlin’.”

“Then get rid of the underwear and get over here,” Y/N giggled.

“Yes, ma’am!” Beau grinned as he shoved the offending item off and pounced on the bed, making Y/N laugh. 

Covering her body with his, Beau kissed up her body starting at her tummy and working up to her neck. Y/N’s little gasps and moans were driving him wild.

“I love being the only one who sees you like this. That all of this is for me,” Beau placed kisses over her throat, knowing exactly what he was doing. Knowing exactly how to play her. “And that I’m all yours. Always have been and always will be. I love you more than you could ever know. It’s only ever been you, darlin’.”

Softly, gently, Beau pushed himself into her, gasping when he couldn’t go any further. The moan he let out made Y/N melt, her eyes rolling back in her head.

“Fuck, Beau!” she gasped when he pulled himself from her and pushed back in.

“That’s my good girl, taking me so well. You’re perfect, baby. Made just for me,” Beau murmured between kisses to her lips, and slow, deep thrusts. “Fuck, darlin’, you feel so good. Bet I feel just as good inside of you, huh?”

“Fuck, Beau, you’re so big, stretching me, making me feel so full,” Y/N screamed. “Feels so good, baby.”

“I’m sorry I’ve taken you for granted since we got here, darlin’. You were right the other day when you said I was taking on cases I shouldn’t,” Beau spoke but continued to thrust at a slow, deep pace, driving Y/N wild and wanton for his praise and carnal affections.

“At first, the change of pace was good and I was enjoying it. Then Poppernak got shot and I stepped in to be Hoyt’s partner. But, when Pop came back, I got bored being stuck behind a desk and wanted back in on the action. So, I’d fall behind on paperwork, work late, go drinking to let off some steam and discuss cases with the team.”

Beau paused the push and pull of his hips, switching to stay fully seated and grind against her. His gaze held hers, soft and full of love and admiration for his wife.

“Nothing happened with me and Jenny and I didn’t want anything to happen. It’s only ever been you. There has never, ever, been a time when I’ve even considered stepping out of our marriage. You’re mine and I’m yours and nothing will ever change that.”

Beau was driving Y/N delirious with his grinding hips, hitting the most sacred places inside her. The sex was always good, but their lovemaking had always been incredible. The way he made her feel meant that he could’ve told her anything and she’d believe him, but she knew him; she knew he meant every single word that he said. None of this was the heat of the moment, all of it was completely and utterly true.

“No, I’m sorry, Beau. I shouldn’t have thrown that at you. I know how hard it was to take this job, to choose a quieter and safer life than what we had in Houston.” Y/N gasped as she clung to his shoulders, her entire body was on fire and only he could put it out.

“Baby, I need more of you. Will you let me go deeper?” Beau moaned through his thrusts.

“Yes,” Y/N mumbled, whimpering as he slipped from her and she turned onto her front, shifting onto her hands and knees.

With no effort at all, Beau slid straight home again. The new position forced her to open wider to him and engulf his throbbing member entirely. Her contracting walls sucked him in and squeezed, holding him within her for an extra few seconds.

Pulling out, Beau’s eyes locked on where their bodies joined. Seeing the way Y/N stretched to accommodate him made him growl and his eyes roll as he pushed back in.

“Fuck, darlin’, can’t believe you’d ever think I wanted anything other than this perfect little pussy. So soft and wet, feels like heaven,” Beau mumbled as he lay over her and pressed kisses to her shoulder blades and down her spine.

“Beau, baby, I’m-” Y/N moaned, completely wrecked and he loved it. There was no sweeter sound from his wife than her falling apart on his cock.

“I know, darlin’, I know. And I gotcha, baby. I’ve always gotcha. Let go for me, that’s my good girl.” Beau grunted, his hips speeding up and snapping into her harder.

Y/N whined every time he pushed into her, his throbbing cock hitting that sweet spot inside before coming to rest at its hilt, grinding into her cervix with his sensitive tip.

Having as much as she could take, Y/N came with a scream. The tension he’d built so perfectly in her snapped and her orgasm crashed over her in waves.

Beau wasn’t far behind and with one last push as far as he could go, he stilled within her, profanities spilling from his mouth as his orgasm coated her velvet walls.

“I love you, Y/N,” Beau whispered between kisses on her shoulders and neck. “Always have, always will.”

THE END

Tags: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @mrsjenniferwinchester @chriszgirl92 @perpetualabsurdity @beskarfilms @spnwoman @snackles87 @twinkleinadiamondsky @lacilou @creative-writing92 @globetrotter28 @tmb510

[synmorite]

Aaaah. You made me cry again! (But that’s okay)

Absolutely loved this. ♥️♥️♥️ It was beautiful.

The Widow - Chapter Eight (Finale)

Chapter Eight

Summary: Sam and Y/N are happily married, but everything changes after a fatal car accident leaves her a widow. The Winchester motto: "Family Don't End with Blood," takes on a whole new meaning for Y/N as she navigates her new normal with the help of her brother-in-law, Dean. But what no one can tell her, is what happens when she falls in love again?   

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F!Reader (past) | Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, feelings, heart-to-heart, fluff, kissing 

Words: 2,641

A/N: That's all folks! Thank you all for reading and for coming on this journey with me. I appreciate all of you more than you know! 💖 I'm sure going to miss these two, but it was fun getting them to where they needed to go.

Huge thank you again to my gorgeous beta: @negans-lucille-tblr I’m not sure this would’ve even been posted without your encouragement, and thank you doesn’t seem like enough 😘

Now… go and grab those tissues!!

Y/N’s POV

The first few minutes in the car are spent in awkward silence and it kills you. The relationship you have with Dean has always been easy and to think it’s been damaged beyond repair makes you sad.

“So…” Dean finally breaks the silence between you when you stop at a red light. “Good lunch?” He glances over at you and you scoff.

“That’s where you wanna go here? How was lunch?” You laugh, but it’s not the humourous kind.

“If you don’t mind, I’d much rather we get to the point and just agree that last night was a mistake and won’t happen again. So let’s do that, let’s pretend it never happened, not talk about it ever again and try to go back to the way things were.” You finish and turn your head to look out the car window.

“Before we do that, I need to say something. Last night meant everything to me,” he looks over at you and waits until you turn back towards him and meet his gaze. “Everything, Y/N. I don’t know when it happened, but I do know when I realised I was in love with you.”

“Dean…” you mutter. His words shock you, that’s about as much as you know right now, and you’re glad Dean ignores the interruption and continues talking, because you have no idea how to respond.

“It was when your car broke down on the hottest damn day of the year,” he chuckles at the memory, “and you called me for a tow. I was driving down the road you were stopped on, and I saw you sitting on the hood of your car, and you looked so beautiful. I swear you were glowing in the sunlight. It was like you had a goddamn halo or something! And my heart just stopped, and I thought ‘shit, I’m in trouble here,’ since then, I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the first thing I think of when I open my eyes in the morning and the last before I fall asleep. Fuck… I tried to stop, I swear I did…

“I know this is hard for you to hear and it’s probably the last thing you want to deal with right now and that’s okay. But, I need you to know you were not a mistake, sweetheart. I don’t regret what we did and I never will. I know we have something that could work if you give us a chance, because you can’t fake the kinda connection we had last night. But if you want to pretend last night never happened and go back to how things were, then I’ll do that for you… but if I’m right and you feel something more for me, please, tell me.”

You remain silent and take in his confession. He’s right, you do have feelings for him, the trouble is, you don’t know if you can trust yourself. Are they real feelings, or are you mistaking them for the comfort and familiarity Dean gives you?

And then you ask yourself where this can even go. He’s your husband’s brother; people will talk. And it’s not that you care what they’ll say necessarily, there are other factors involved here. Including how John will feel, and the impact such a “scandal” could have on the family business. More importantly, though, you don’t know if you can do that to Sam.

“You know what? Forget I said anything. Your silence says it all, Y/N. Let’s just sweep last night under the carpet and chalk it down to bad judgement,” you know Dean is hurt because his voice comes out weak and defeated and you despise yourself for it.

“It wasn’t,” it’s barely audible, but at least you got something out.

“Wasn’t what?” Dean asks.

“Bad judgement,” you clarify. “And I do feel something for you, I just…” you sigh, and let your thoughts hang in the air as you try and decipher what this all means and what the best thing to do is.

“Alright,” Dean nods his head. “When we get home, we’re going to talk about all of this, okay?” Dean fixes his gaze on you and you nod in agreement. “We need to lay our cards on the table and hear each other out. It’s the only way we’ll be able to get past this, whatever this is, or ends up being.”

Again, you know he’s right. You need to get it all out in the open and be completely honest with each other because it’s the only way you’ll be able to keep Dean in your life.

“Okay,” you agree with a nod.

You go back to spending the journey in silence, but it’s not quite as heavy and suffocating as before, and you have the tiniest glimmer of hope that everything will work out just fine.

Sitting on your sofa next to Dean, you hand him a tumbler with a decent measure of whiskey and untuck the bottle from under your arm to place it on the table. In a bid for more time, you take a long sip from your wine glass as you desperately try to figure out what the hell just happened and how you ended up in this position. Dean speaks first and you sigh in relief as you’re at a complete loss for words.

“I just wanna start by saying I meant what I said,” Dean begins. “All of it,” he adds before you can question him. “I have fallen in love with you, and last night did mean the world to me.” With that, he downs the whiskey in one gulp and refills his glass. Now, at least you have your first question.

“So why didn’t you stay with me? Why did you get up and drink all night?” you ask quietly.

“We got so caught up in the moment, and neither of us even stopped to think,” he looks down at the floor and you can see and feel the shame radiating from him in waves.

“When we were finished and you were sleeping in my arms, it was like everything came crashing back to reality. I felt guilty for doing that to Sam, I felt ashamed for taking advantage of you when you were upset, I knew I’d ruined things between us and I knew I had no one to blame but myself.

“I didn’t mean to stay away all night,” Dean says, looking at you for the first time since he’d started to explain himself. “I only intended to have one or two to help me sleep, but I got upset and… two became four, and well… you saw me this morning.”

“You know you didn’t take advantage of me, right? That if I didn’t want it to happen, it wouldn’t have?” you ask him, reaching a hand out to cup his cheek and pushing gently to make him look at you. “Dean, I swear to you, I wanted it too…” you begin, but a scoff from the green-eyed man next to makes you frown.

“So this morning was what?” He looks at you pleadingly, like he was silently asking you to tell him that he hadn’t been a mistake.

“One big miscommunication, apparently,” you chuckle sadly. “Dean, when I woke up this morning, the first thing I felt was guilt for doing that to Sam. And when I turned over to seek you out, to get some comfort and to be told we didn’t do anything wrong, I was met with a cold bed.

“Fine, I thought, maybe he feels some of the guilt I do and was awake early, or couldn’t sleep… but when I came downstairs and saw the empty bottle and the bloodshot eyes, I went to the worst thing I could think of. Regret. And I went on the defensive, and for that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left without talking to you.”

“And I should’ve never left you alone. I’m truly sorry, sweetheart. Not once did it cross my mind that you’d feel the way you did. You know, knowing that makes me feel worse than the guilt ever could.” Dean’s words are full of sincerity and you nod, believing everything he’s told you tonight.

“Okay, so we both agree we did nothing wrong and that it wasn’t a mistake, but I still feel like we haven’t resolved this,” you say looking up at him. Dean nods his head in agreement, but remains silent, staring at you intently. You know this part is up to you–he’s already told you how he feels–but you stall by taking a few more sips of wine.

“I know Sam is gone, and no matter how much I want it, he’s never coming back. I know he’d want me to be happy and to find someone to love and who loves me,” you glance up at Dean and see hope in his expression. “But I feel like I’d be cheating on him or something if that person is you. And,” you continue quickly, wanting to get everything out at once, “I don’t know if I really feel what I feel for you, or if I’m confusing your familiarity with Sam for real feelings.”

Dean nods and reaches his hand out to stroke your cheek. “I understand that, sweetheart. I feel the same way, but you’re right, he’d want you to be happy, and if that ends up being with me, then we’ll get through it together. And if it isn’t with me, then I’ll help you get through it.”

You think about what Dean said, your heart filling with hope that no matter what, he’d still have your back. “How do I know if what I feel is real?”

“Well, sweetheart,” he chuckles, “I can’t help with that, that’s gotta be all you. Only you know how you feel and what’s real or not.”

Placing your wine glass on the coffee table, you shift closer to Dean and tentatively place your head on his shoulder. You smile as you hear him sigh happily.

“C’mere,” he opens his arms and lets you cuddle into his chest before putting his arms around you and kissing your forehead. The warmth and safety of Dean’s embrace spreads over you like you’ve just lay down in a hot bath, and it makes you hum in pure contentment.

His arms squeeze you tighter into his body and you find yourself raising your head to look at him. Really look at him. His bright green eyes show you nothing but tenderness. You scan your eyes over the freckles that dust his face like a beautiful, undiscovered constellation; he truly is a stunning man.

Dean licks his lips, bringing your attention to them and your memories drift to last night and how those lips felt on yours and your body. Slowly, you tilt your head and move closer to him, gently pressing your lips to his.

Hesitantly, Dean opens his mouth and you take him up on his invitation, deepening the kiss and moaning as your tongues meet. The kiss is gentle and slow, neither of you in a rush to be anywhere but right here at this moment.

With your lips still attached to his, you straddle him and settle down in his lap. Feeling the beginnings of a bulge in his jeans, you grind your core into it, smirking at his groan.

“Y/N, sweetheart.” Dean is breathless, and you find the effect you have on him intoxicating. “If you want a repeat of last night, I’m all yours, but I need to hear you say it.”

“I want you, Dean.”

Six Weeks Later

“Hey, handsome,” you smile. “It’s been a while and I’m sorry for that,” you say as you sit cross-legged at Sam’s grave. “I’ve had some things going on that I needed to work out,” you pause and pick at the strands of grass around you. 

“Something happened that I never thought would. I fell in love again. He makes me happy, Sammy. And I know he’s a good man and he’ll treat me right. If he doesn’t I’ll kick his ass,” you chuckle. “Then I’ll come here and beg you to haunt him!” your smile quickly turns to a sob.

“It’s Dean, Sam. I fell in love with Dean but I didn’t mean to. It just happened. And I need you to know that I never…” you need to stop talking to make way for the tears that won’t stop falling.

“I never felt that way about him when you were here. And I need you to know that. This is new and unexpected for both of us. I’ll always love you, Sammy, and I miss you. So fucking much every goddamn day! It’s just that I love him too. And I hope you can forgive me.”

You sit in silence for a while, just being. You know you should leave soon. Dean and John are waiting and you know they’ll be starting to worry about you. Movement catches your eye and you turn your head to see a butterfly fluttering nearby.

It lands on Sam’s gravestone and you smile, feeling a childlike joy at seeing the red admiral so close and so late in the year, even with the mild fall.

It remains perched and unmoving for a while longer before it flies over and lands on your knee. That’s when you know that this beautiful creature is a sign, and that Sam is with you.

You can feel him next to you, and you have the overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be alright and that he approves of you and Dean. The red admiral takes flight once again and circles your body.

You don’t know if it’s a laugh that erupts or if it’s a sob–maybe it’s a mixture of both–but it’s something, and you feel at peace with yourself and everything around you as you sit by his grave.

All too quickly, the butterfly takes off and flutters back into the nearby shrubs.

“I love you, Sam. Always and forever,” you say as you kiss your fingers and place them on his headstone before standing up and brushing the dirt from your jeans.“I’ll be back soon. I promise not to leave it so long next time.” 

Walking away, you feel lighter than you have in a long time, and you know that finally, you’re at peace with your husband's death and with the path that has led you to looking forward to a life with Dean.

“Hey, sweetheart, you good?” Dean asks as you wrap your arms around his waist and hug him tight. You can’t bring yourself to speak, so you nod against his chest and once more you let the tears fall, knowing that this time, they’re happy tears.

“You’re alright, Y/N, I’m right here.” Dean murmurs, and you feel another hand stroking your back.

“Sam would be happy, you know that, don’t you darlin’?” John asks. “For both of you.”

Pulling away from Dean’s embrace, you wipe your tears away and smile, “I know he is.”

You saw a red admiral at every big life moment after that day at his grave. You saw one the day Dean proposed, and again at your small, intimate wedding. One flew in the kitchen window on the day you found out you were expecting your first child, and one appeared on the day you found out about the two that came next! On every birthday and holiday, on the day you gave birth to each of your children, and on their first days at school.

It gave you immense comfort, and though at first Dean, John, and Jody put it down to coincidence, after the first few times it happened, they started looking for the butterfly on the special days too.

THE END

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