#I really hope every trans person who wants to change their name gets to

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i genuinely have no words right now. i’m feeling a lot.

no one prepares you for the exhilaration and happiness that you get from hitting submit on the forms to change your name legally btw

[elumish]

Part 1/? of How to Deal With the Next Four(ish) Years

Learn how to tell the difference between "their policies/rhetoric actively target me/a marginalized group" and "they have not been as successful as I hoped in protecting me/a marginalized group." I saw the rhetoric a fair amount pre-election that the Democratic Party and its policies were transphobic, that Biden failed queer people, etc. as a reason not to vote for Harris or for Democrats, and the reality is that the Democratic Party and Joe Biden have actually been pretty steadily implementing laws and policies to support and protect queer (including trans) people, and Republicans want queer/trans people to die.

If you want to protect marginalized groups, whether they're ones you're part of or not, you really need to start actively working on distinguishing between the two. And if you keep hearing that the Democrats are just as bad about a marginalized group in the US as the Republicans, actually look into that. What is the evidence? What laws have been introduced or passed by one party versus the other? What rhetoric do they use? What policies and regulations are being put in place?

And is the problem that the Democratic Party is "just as bad" or that they have not managed to stop Republican laws in red states?

None of this is to say that the Democratic Party is perfect, but in most cases only one party is actively working to harm or kill marginalized people, and it's not the Dems.

Understand the government structure that directly impacts you. Not every state or locality operates the same way, and you may have more or fewer layers of government over you with different levels of power. Do you have a town/city government and a county government, or just one or the other? How many officials are elected in your state versus appointed?

Part of that is also understanding what is controlled at the local, state, and federal level. If you're mad about a law or policy and want it to change, whose law or policy is it? Chances are, if it's about how things work for you, it's a state or local law rather than a federal one. Once you understand that, you can target any organizing efforts in the right direction.

Pick your battles. This is not to say that you shouldn't care about a lot of things, but trying to personally organize around everything will probably just make you ineffective and burn you out. Is it Palestine? Ukraine? Sudan? Environmental justice? Climate change? Immigration? Abortion? Queer rights and protections? Education? Native American rights? Criminal justice reform?

Understanding your own priorities can also help you determine what candidates you support and where you draw your red lines. I care a lot about public schools, but support for charter schools is not a red line for me in a politician. Being pro-life is.

But I'm also pragmatic--if my choice is a pro-life person who also wants all queer people to die and a pro-life person who wants to protect queer people, I will hold my nose vote for the latter rather than risk the former winning.

Start identifying what protections you and your loved ones might need that you can access now. Is it an IUD, a tubal ligation, or a vasectomy? Is it getting your legal name changed now? Is it establishing other legal protections such as power of attorney even if you're married?

Vote in every election. If you are an eligible voter, you should be a registered voter, and you should vote every single time. I think the only election I've missed in the last 5 years is the 2024 Democratic primary, and that's 50% because it was basically an uncontested race and 50% because I forgot when it was.

Primaries are where you get to have a say in who your candidate is--at all levels. Look at the policies of who is running and vote for who you want to win--whether because of policy, temperment, or any other reason.

But state and local elections are incredibly important, because they have a huge impact on your actual quality of life. Show up and vote. Vote on off years. Vote when it's just local. Vote for Board of Education, for water commissioner, for sheriff, for judges.

Voting is cheap, it's easy, and it does make a difference.

[koolades-world]

Hi hi! I’m sorta new to tumblr, but I really like ur blog so far <3! I wanna ask if you could do MC coming out to the brothers as trans? Transmasc preferred, but it’s okay for really any gender. I’ve been a little dysphoric lately (cuz I’m transmasc lol) and I know your fics and stories always cheer me up!!

hi! of course! this is a little late, but I hope this still helps. so glad to hear my silly writing cheers you up!

I do remember doing something similar to this but I don’t think it was specified as transmasc or transfem. if this is the same thing, we just have two now haha

Trasnsmasc Mc comes out

Lucifer

if you are going by a new name now, he wants to know

will make sure to update it everywhere in paperwork

he ensure everyone is aware of this change, and anybody who intentionally ignores it will suffer consequences

dead names are dead for a reason, and he wants make sure you feel respected

Mammon

he's the self proclaimed king of fashion

will help you add more gender affirming pieces of clothing to your wardrobe!

if you want, you can steal from his own closet

it can be shared custody clothing or not, he just wants to make you happy <3

Levi

will help you explore media and find your favorite trans characters!

he understands how comforting it can be to have your fav be relatable

he's always ready to listen to your rants and woes

the least he can do for you is be your diligent listener

Satan

if you're interested in HRT and or surgeries, he'll be by your side the entire time

you won't have to pay a cent because he insists on covering it for you. he's firm in his belief that feeling good about yourself should not be locked behind a paywall

he'll help you do your research but all final decisions are up to you

your body, your choice <3

Asmo

say it with me

cute and fun binders!

yes, of course he believes everyone should own neutrals of every type of clothing, just in case but he believes there should be fun counterparts to them too!

if you can't find a binder you really love, he'll work with raphael to make you one you adore!

Beel

if you want to look more masculine, he's more than willing to lend you some workout tips

if it's gender affirming, he will make sure to help you out

you can use his soaps if you want. he's more than happy to share with his favorite person!

he makes sure you're caring for yourself properly of course. he loves you so much

Belphie

he's very aggressive with making sure everyone is using your correct pronouns!

he doesn't even let accidents slide if they don't correct themselves (but of course, if they do, he doesn't get on them haha)

using the correct pronouns isn't that hard

he always includes his pronouns when introducing himself so you aren't the only one to do so and so you don't feel alone

[storyinmypocket]

The title should've read transmasc, but now it won't let me change it. Bother.

Anyway, pretty much what it says on the tin. I haven't felt safe living where I do for Some Time Now, and I have a great opportunity to move somewhere better, but I don't currently have the money for a cross-country move.

As things stand, I'd rather not pay rent on a room I'm not occupying while I save up moving money, but if that's the only option, that's what I'll do, because it's more or less impossible to find rent this good in the Bay Area. It just won't make me any safer in the short term, and not getting medical treatment because I feel unsafe around the medical transportation folks isn't a great long-term strategy.

While I can't offer incentives to donate on the GoFundMe site, I'm happy to offer 3-card tarot readings for every donation of $10 or more, 5-card readings for $15 or more, and bigger and more complicated readings for anything $30 and above, so long as you're not asking for a relationship spread for your 7-person polycule. (If you really want polycule readings, donate over $100 and we'll talk, but for anything more than a triad, readings get exponentially more complicated.) I have multiple queer/BIPOC-friendly decks, and one that is aggressively body-positive. If you're looking for a specific vibe, let me know, because I can probably at least get close to what you're looking for, deck-wise. (I also have a couple of decks that differ from the standard tarot template, like the Normal Tarot and the Alleyman's Tarot.)

I would really love to live somewhere with IRL community and public transportation and not feeling like the only trans person for miles. That said, if you stumble across a fundraiser for someone who needs food or rent Right The Fuck Now, please donate to them instead... but also please consider giving this a reblog if you can't toss any money my way.

Thanks, everybody.

[valley-of-headcanons]

hii! may i request harvey with a ftm farmer who's on T?

alex and harvey x ftm!farmer starting T || headcanons

when coming out as transmasc, you're not sure how your lovely boyfriend will react ...

warnings: i am not transmasc! please excuse anything that is not the most accurate! i tried to educate myself, but i am always open to learning! thank you so much my trans lovelies <3 gender neutral pronouns, but transmasc details and the use of boyfriend.

requested by: anons! hiya, tysm for requesting! decided to smush these posts into one for similarity reasons. hope you all enjoy! <333

alex

• When coming out to Alex, you were ... definitely nervous about how he'd react. He's such a masculine, “bro” type of guy. You didn't know how he'd react to his girlfriend becoming his boyfriend. He didn't strike you as gay, and it might end in a break up. You were incredibly worried, but you took a deep breath and assured yourself. Being your true self was important, whether Alex was along for the ride or not.

• So, you ripped off the bandaid, coming out to Alex while sitting down in your living room. You couldn't look him in the eye, you were horrified for how he'd react. You loved him, but if he didn't accept you, it was over. The silence only amplified your nerves, until finally, Alex spoke up.

• “Okay ... that doesn't change anything. I ... I was honestly going to come out to you sometime soon as well. I think I'm, at the very least, bisexual ... so maybe it's like the stars are aligned? That doesn't take away from you, though! I'm so proud of you for being so brave and coming out to me! Ah- I'm sorry if I worried you ... I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me, and I'll support you through your transition. I love you, and I'm glad to have such an amazing boyfriend.”

• Alex asked you questions about yourself, your new name, and how to help you through your transition. He was incredibly supportive, being very attentive to what all you told him. He was very uneducated, but he really wanted to learn! He loves you, and he is here to support you no matter what!

• He was extremely helpful during your transition, reminding you to administer your injections and helping if needed. He would constantly reassure you, making sure you knew that you were doing the right thing. You were so brave in his eyes, and he just adored every aspect of you. You did something that he probably would never have the confidence to do.

• No matter what, Alex was incredibly supportive of you, and you couldn't have asked for more. He was so excited to learn and grow with you. You were the best thing that's ever happened to him, regardless of what gender you'd like to present as.

harvey

• When coming out to Harvey, you weren't the most worried. Harvey seemed to be pretty understanding, at least from a medical perspective. He would honestly be the best person to come out to, being the town's doctor and all. But he was also your boyfriend! So, it had double importance.

• You decided to come out to him, sitting down in his office. You explained that you were transmasc, and you wanted to start testosterone. He nodded, taking notes as you spoke. He didn't say much at first, obviously thinking. He kept scribbling notes, possibly a prescription.

• “Alright, before we get into the medical aspect, I just want to say thank you for trusting me with this. I love you, and your gender won't change that. I accept you, and your new pronouns, and your new name. I'll change your name in my records as soon as possible, and we can administer testosterone soon. I love you, and I'll take care of you not only as a doctor, but as your boyfriend. Now, let's talk side effects ...”

• Harvey was focused on the medical side of things for a while, working out a plan for your transition and everything you wanted. He was incredibly considerate and kind throughout the whole thing, being extremely respectful of your new identity. Afterward, he was very attentive, listening to the personal aspect of your identity. Your new name, your pronouns, and everything in-between.

• Being a doctor, he was incredibly helpful with the medical aspect. He personally administered your testosterone, unless you specifically asked him not to. He was also conscious of your mental health, making sure you didn't need a therapist for gender dysphoria. He was educated on the subject, and if he didn't know anything, he would turn to the books in the Museum. He wanted to give you the smoothest transition he could.

• Harvey is head over heels in love with you, regardless of your gender and how you present. He's so incredibly hellbent on making you happy, and he's grateful that he's able to hold your hand throughout this journey. Seeing you happy makes him happy, and that smile brightening little by little everyday keeps him going.

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Bonds

Yandere Platonic Batfam x Trans Masc Autistic Reader

Hello! A bit of an authors note. This particular series will be dealing with transphobia, all of which stems from personal experience. Be advised when reading!

Warning: This is a yandere work, and as such, has themes of obsession , violence, stalking, conditioning and manipulation. Trigger warning for this particular one include the above warnings. They’re all pretty mild tbh.

Looking back on it, you knew there was nothing you could have done. That Dad Bruce had planned and pre-planned every meeting since your first interaction to draw you in, to learn more, before he had finally just taken you to the Manor. That there was absolutely nothing you could of done to outsmart the World’s Greatest Detective, who had become inexplicably obsessed with you, alongside all of his kids.

That didn’t make it any easier. It didn’t get rid of the guilt, or the frustration, or the fact you had been so close to doing what you wanted to do with your life. It didn’t help the ugly knot in your chest that would well up, tight and complex and full of emotion, and it didn’t help the bitter rage that would sit heavy in your belly some days.

You sigh, gently scratching behind Titus’ ear, and his tail thumps against the hardwood as he wiggles closer, nose snuffling for any treats. Finding none, he continues to preen under your petting and you laugh, pressing a kiss to his forehead with a smile.

“I had wondered where Titus had gone.” Damian comments, sitting next to you. Out of all of your “siblings”, Damian never really.. set of that anger in your chest. He was younger than you, still a child, and even though it sucked it made sense that he would follow in the behaviors others had set out for him. It made you sad, sometimes, but not angry.

“Me and him are just chilling. Isn’t that right, Titus?” He woofs softly at the sound of his name, and you laugh, scratching behind his ear again.

“You are going to spoil him, one of these days. I hope you know that.” Damian scolds, like he had a leg to stand on. You had seen him sneak the dog treats and snacks every now and then, something you were all explicitly banned from doing to prevent the dog from trying to get into the trash or on the countertops. “Are you watching Star Wars again?”

He sounded far too judgmental for your tastes, and you frown, reaching for the remote.

“I didn’t say to change it. Todd had simple remarked the other day that you watched it often.” He interjects, and you feel your shoulders unwind. You were.. defensive, of your interests, and it always upset you when someone mocked you for having them, no matter how much you wished it didn’t.

“Jason hardly knows how to mind his business half the time.” You grumble, then stretch. Damian slots into the seat beside you like he had been planning to all along, and you sigh tiredly. Despite the fact that you heavily suspected Damian was touch-starved to all hell, he would never outright ask for a hug, or go for one, instead slotting himself into a position where it would be very easy for you to hug or cuddle him.

Sometimes, it made you too sad not to. This time was one of those times.

You wrap an arm around your little brother Damian, letting him decide whether or not he actually wanted the affection. He sinks into your side easily, and you shift, eyes fixated on the screen.

You try not to wonder how much of his hesitance came from genuine trauma and how much came from the careful calculation he inherited from his father. It would only upset you.

You watch as the characters on the screen argue, the lines familiar enough that you mouth along, and the sky darkens outside, time passing in that strange, crawling way it did when you were totally relaxed and falling asleep. Part of you is glad Damian sought you out, the soft sounds of his breathing lulling you to sleep. Your eyes droop, and you sigh, letting your head fall back against the cushions.

“Awww.” The sound of a quiet coo makes you nearly jump up, arms tightening around Damian, and you only stiffen further when you see Dick leaning against the door, a broad grin on his features. He watches the two of you, Damian, who was no doubt awake, and yourself, and his eyes are sharp and piercing enough that your stomach turns.

“No one told me you’d come out of your room, baby bat.” He huffs, and moves toward you both on silent feet.

“Perhaps they simply wanted to spend time alone, Grayson.” Damian sniffs, but does nothing to prevent Dick from clambering onto the couch, wrapping an arm around you and Damian both. Despite not being even close to the youngest, Dick always treated you as a younger sibling, something that drove you insane and made rage bubble up whenever you thought of it too much.

“Nah. They’ll typically sneak off to the library if they want time alone.” He wasn’t wrong, per se, but the flippant way he says it makes you send him a tired glare. “What’re you watching?”

“Star Wars. The fifth one.”

“That’s the one with the Vader reveal, right? When he’s like “I am your father” and all that?” He questions, and you send him a tired glare.

“You’re older than me, how are you not more familiar with Star Wars.” You complain, and he laughs, settling further into the seat next to you. There was no escaping it now, unfortunately. You were stuck in the cuddle pile until he either let you go, the movie ended, or Alfred came to your rescue. Given that there was nearly an hour of movie left, you really hoped the third option would happen.

“Hey! I spent most of my childhood running around fighting crime, you don’t really get super into sci-fi after meeting actual aliens!” He defends, grinning.

“I feel like that would only increase the interest more, but okay.” You snort, and he laughs.

For the most part, the three of you are silent. Dick has a running commentary throughout the movie that you ignore, only pausing to correct him when he is simply just outright wrong, and Damian doesn’t say anything at all except to remark on how stupid the two of you were.

Then the scene on Cloud City comes on. The reveal.

It makes you.. uncomfortable, seeing how desperate Luke is to get away. It makes something tighten in your chest as you watch the screen, and Dick must realize because his eyes cut to you and suddenly the remote is in his hands, turning off the show.

“Not in the mood for all the dramatics.” He lies with an easy grin, even though you know that the reason he changed it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. “Let’s just sit and watch this, yeah?”

You weren’t even sure what show he had put on, and so you shake your head, pushing yourself up.

A strong arm pushes you back. Your heart starts hammering in your throat, an awful mix of anxiety and something else, and you glance over at Dick, trying not to think about the way Damian had eased back with a frown and how your fingers were wrapped tightly around Dick’s arm in alarm.

“Dick. Let me up, I have to use the restroom.” You lie, even as you hear your heartbeat thundering away in your ears. Dick was in a mood today, and you had no clue why or who had put him in that mood. Either way, it had your stomach churning and the hair on the back of your neck standing up.

“Yeah, no problem.” He lets you go easily, at that, and you slip away, trying to make it look like you weren’t running.

The door to your room shuts quietly behind you. The hinges are well-oiled and silent, another precaution they had taken when they had moved you in, so that you couldn’t hear them coming and going. For once, you’re grateful for their never ending paranoia. Now that you had picked up their silent hair, it made it easier for you to slip in and out of your room without detection.

You curl up on the bedspread, not bothering to go under the covers. You felt.. unwell. Hurt and angry and anxious. You felt confused and upset and a million other emotions you couldn’t name.

You had been bickering with Dick before the scene. Acting like siblings, behaving like a family. It was a harsh dose of reality in that no matter how much you cling to your anger, they were steadily working their way into your life, casting you in a role you had never wanted to play.

Or, actually, you had. You had wanted to be a part of their family, but not like this. You had wanted all of it, the loving father, the siblings, the unwavering support. But not at the cost of your freedom.

There’s a soft knock on your door, and you swallow. You hope it’s not Dick, because you didn’t feel like being yelled at and you didn’t feel like being guilt-tripped.

“Come in.” You croak, and the door opens with a whisper of air. Jason or Bruce, maybe? They were always careful to announce their presence when they were upset, although Cass also showed that same level of care when she comforted you.

The bed dips under their weight, and your body slides toward them, even when you don’t turn your head. Not Cass, she was too light. Bruce or Jason, then.

“Dick said you got upset, earlier.” A warm hand buries itself in your hair gently, and your lip trembles, even though you refuse to look at your Dad Bruce. He doesn’t demand that you do, thankfully. “Wanna tell me what you set you off?”

“What do you think?” You snap, teeth bared at nothing, and he continues stroking your hair, gently detangling the strands the best he can.

“I won’t know unless you tell me.” He comments neutrally, and you know that he’s playing you for a fool and it makes you so mad that you push yourself up, twisting around to face him.

“Really?! What have all of our conflicts been about so far, Bruce?” Your shoulders are hiked up. Angry. Defensive. You know you’re mad and you don’t care.

“(Y/N), I know you don’t understand just yet but it was for the best-“

“For you!! I didn’t get a choice, you didn’t give me a choice, and that’s the worst part!!” You shriek, and the bubbling anger that had been locked up and hidden away is finally escaping, in hot tears running down your face and your enraged shrieking. “I never had a choice! I just wanted- I wanted-!”

Sobs tear themselves from your throat, ugly and raw, and when his hand lands on your shoulder you shrug it off, pushing yourself away from him to stand on your own to feet.

The worst part is expression. Guilt and sympathy and sadness make an awful combination, and you grip the desk, rage pulsing in your veins. How dare he be sad when he did this. How dare he be sad when you were the one who had been ripped from your life.

“You wanted someone to take care of you, (Y/N). You needed help.” He says slowly, standing up. His posture is open, gentle, a non-threat. You aren’t fooled, and shuffle back.

“I had it under control! I was fine!” You snarl back, and he shakes his head, his face gentle.

“You didn’t. You weren’t sleeping, barely eating, you were constantly stressed because of your family… that’s not under control. It’s unhealthy.”

“And this is?! Ripping someone from their home, their family, because what-?! You wanted to? You’re awful! You’re selfish! I want to go home, take me home, let me go-!”

Warm arms wrap around you, pressing you into a broad chest, and you shriek against the fabric, trying your best to thrash. Despite being entirely human, his arms are like warm steel around you, unmoving, and eventually, your struggles cease, and you go still.

“I know what I did was selfish. I know it was cruel, (Y/N). But I just… I couldn’t bear losing another son. Your siblings, they can defend themselves. They have the training, the skills. But you were a civilian, struggling to stay alive and get through school, and I could only do so much to help you.”

His voice is thick, and you refuse to look up at him. He had the annoying habit of being painfully genuine when he knew it would rip your heart out.

He leans back, and begins to gently wipe your face, brushing the tears of your cheeks. Despite the screaming, he don’t look angry, but there’s a heavy, awful sorrow in his shoulders that makes you want to cry. Which makes more angry tears spill down your cheeks because how dare he make you feel guilty for upsetting him.

“I can’t lose another son.” He admits, voice cracking, and you swallow. Hearing him call you his son was.. it was a mixed bag. Old hurts and new ones creating something new. “And I knew, if I let it continue on, something terrible would have happened.”

“You could have asked me.” You croak, and he shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t have said yes. You had put everyone’s needs above your own, you would’ve self-destructed if I had left you there.”

The worst part was, he was right. You had been feeling so small and trapped that even if he had offered, you wouldn’t have accepted. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

“I know this isn’t fair. But you’ll get through this. And we’ll help you, every step of the way.” A gentle kiss to your forehead, as he smoothed back your hair, and he smiles down at you.

“Dinner is going to be in thirty minutes. Would you like to join me downstairs or stay up here until then?”

Your mouth is dry. Your face is red and teary and upset. Your eyes are puffy from crying.

You don’t want to be alone, either.

“I’ll come downstairs.” You whisper, and he smiles, kneeling to grab your weighted blanket. When you both sit on the couch, he ticks it around your shoulder, sits next to you, and puts on some show or another you don’t recognize.

He is warm and solid against you, and eventually you fall asleep, exhausted.

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[damnfandomproblems]

Posting a compilation of responses to Fandom Problem #5234

Anon:

PLEASE watch the Contrapoints video on Twilight. It is by a trans person named Natalie Wynn.

(anon includes a link to a YouTube video titled "Twilight | ContraPoints")

This video has changed the minds of tons of people who initially thought Twilight was "rape and stalking abuse", by explaining the history of where all this panic comes from and why people are drawn to dark fantasies. It changed my mind and I'm hoping it'll change your mind too.

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Anon:

going through every point bc this personally ticked me off for literally no reason but i have nothing better to do. so. sorry if this seems overly pissy /genuine. (also typed this in my notes app so sorry for the lack of italics/caps in place of italitcs) 1. not wanting to see incest/whatever isnt purity culture. blocking tags/accounts that make you uncomfortable is something that is HEAVILY ENCOURAGED. the only people i have ever seen discouraging this are antishippers. what IS purity culture, however, is saying that EVERYONE ELSE should not make something because it makes you personally uncomfortable. as someone who was literally raised within purity culture, that is exactly the kind of shit they say. 2. fiction DOES affect reality! but not in the way you think it does. yes, propaganda works! but that is because it is specifically constructed to convince people of a certain view. representation is important because people who arent cishet white men exist and deserve to see themselves in fiction. but i think the best way i can explain it is this; if you were to watch Hannibal, would you automatically assume that cannibalism is okay? what if you watched a John Wick movie or Deadpool? Is mass murder okay? the answer is obviously an astounding no, because you are able to think about the media you consume. this is expected of any media that isnt literally a show aimed at children. There's at least one media btw. i'm not entirely sure about Hannibal because i've never seen it. 3. that is literally a coping mechanism therapists recommend. those are all UNHEALTHY and SELFDESTRUCTIVE coping mechanisms. you cannot compare the two. 4. if you are getting mad about porn then that is an entirely Puritan viewpoint. 6. "make the story frown upon it." if you cannot gauge for yourself that these things are bad then you should not be engaging with those stories. 7. last point isnt a proship issue, its a jerkwad issue. people who dont tag things are dicks, at least we can agree on that. however if someone doesnt tag something it is on you to block them. YOU need to curate YOUR online experience. (it may also be worth it to KINDLY send an ask about it. its the same as tagging flashing. sometimes people just dont think about it and sometimes people are doing it on purpose to be a douche. you need to block the latter as they are not worth your time or energy.) Last point was something you did not mention so im not including it in the list itself; if you were to ask a proshipper if they supported pedophilic/incestual/abuse relationships irl, they would most likely say no. If they say yes then they are just a pedo/someone who is okay with incest/an abuser. those people are not bad people because of the fiction they consume/create. they are bad people because they want to hurt people and do not see anything wrong with it/are not willing to see why they are in the wrong. apologies for any typos, ive reread through it but i tend to miss things.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anon:

Op really just compared writing fictional scenarios with fictional dollies, a method of processing trauma that is recommended by psychologists and actually -is- effective at helping people process stuff, to alcoholism, street drugs, and socon which can and do kill people. You ever seen someone withdraw from alcohol abuse? I have. You actually spoken to a psychologist about friends who write things to cope after being raped at a party? I have. Are you still a clueless child? Yes. So take your moral panic and shove it. You're a kid but if you want to get involved in serious adult conversations, you need to be prepared to accept discussing serious, real things. You can't even look at a rapefic without getting triggered (I use this word in the proper sense, not hyperbolic sense) and ascribing blown-out-of-proportion, emotional judgments on people who, if you passed them on the street, wouldn't stand out to you at all. Because these are normal people. This to me is a huge sign you're just not ready for this kind of conversation.

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Anon:

"...really ticks me off how someone can say "It's really fucking gross how you wanna see a minor and an adult make out" and proshippers can be like "UGH PURITY CULTURE" Like, how is not wanting to see pedophilia and incest purity culture. Especially when you're a minor. dumbass I was a minor when I wanted to se OCs modeled after myself hooking up with the hot adult leads from my shows. I wasn't stupid enough to think it was OK to happen in real life but if Dream of the Endless was in an arranged marriage with my OC for reasons I wanted to see it. Like. "Minors" have sex. A lot. And yeah, age gaps can be problematic in real life but on paper? Who cares? It's fake. It's not real. It's a story. Acting like minors are sexless little angels until the day they turn 18 is crazy. Minors want to see boning and they want to see people their own age boning, and sometimes they want to see people their own age boning That Old Man or Milfs or 1000 year old vampires or whatever. Not even gonna bother with the rest. Others can get that.

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Anon:

Where to even start here? I guess I should start by saying that proshipper doesn't mean what you think that it means OP! It doesn't mean that we support incest or pedophilia, it simply means that we're anti harassment. I don't like incest or pedophilia. It's weird to me, and yet one of the most popular series, Game of Thrones, features both incest and pedophilia. Romanticizing villainy? Can I ask what your definition of romanticizing is? What if the story revolves around the villain? Like Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? Are stories like that not supposed to exist? What about the anime and manga called Overlord? What About Hannibal Lecter? What about the Joker movie? Do none of these have any value? Do you expect the villain to deadpan into the camera every 10 minutes confessing that he knows his actions are wrong but he's doing it anyways? And if the writers don't make their characters do this, are you going to accuse them of condoning their characters actions? Because I think it would be pretty dumb to make a villain out of character for the sake of, "I know this is wrong, but I'm doing it anyways!" Do you want no villains in stories? Is that what you prefer? For everything to be sunshine and rainbows all of the time? Because that would be really boring. Are there any true heroes without a villain. A bad coping mechanism? Really? So now you're a psychologist who knows everyone on the planet that knows exactly what everyone needs to get better? Coping mechanism looks different from person to person. What is important is that the coping mechanism helps you process your emotions and what happened to you and sometimes it is helpful to write your emotions out in the form of writing and sometimes that can be fanfiction. I am someone who had been diagnosed with trauma and depression and I'm currently doing therapy for this and taking medicine. You know what's helped me all of these years before I started going to therapy on a regular basis? Characters with a lot of baggage like me. They can be hero or villains. I don't care which it is. If they have a tragic back story and I'm all over that. Fiction doesn't effect reality? It can and sometimes does. You're right. But you know who's problem that is? Your parents, the school system, and whoever else never taught you that fiction is fiction. That characters aren't real. If your parents let the TV or Internet babysit you growing up instead of being a parent and teaching you right from wrong, or being able to tell fiction from reality, well then that is the fault of your parents. Do you know who's not at fault? Stranger on the Internet. We're not here to hold your hand, you are not entitled to that. It is up to you to curate your own experience and mind your own business. If you don't like something, blacklist the tag, block the person posting it or log off of that site and find something else to look at. You think you've debunked everything, but really you're just naive and living in a fantasy world. The world is not an idealistic place, nor will it ever be and that is why these stories exists to begin with. Covering up everything that is bad in the world won't ever make it go away and that is reality. Period. Let people cope the way they need to, and unless you have degrees in psychology, you have no right to tell people what they can and cannot enjoy. Again, I myself would never write or read about some of the things that you've posted about OP, but will I continue writing about my trauma? I sure will, because it is something that I am still dealing with many years after it happened and I'm sure others will do the same with the things that they've had experience with, too.

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Anon:

OP, one of your top posts is an AO3 reference and contains a link to an AO3 fic. In case you didn't know, AO3 was directly created to be a host for fanworks that got censored by other sites. Functionally, it is an archive, like a library. And like libraries, it hosts anything that is legal to host under US law. One major driving factor behind AO3's creation was the "Livejournal Strikethrough Boldthrough", an incident where "concerned parties" successfully lobbied to get Livejournal, a site that hosted writing, to remove its "yucky fics". Guess what? Gay fiction got removed in the process because, surprise, certain parties found that yucky too. (I'm talking about conservative groups who are obviously very anti-gay and anti-LGBT.) Here's one post about it: https://pretentioussongtitle.tumblr.com/post/624690560646676480/like-wathever-antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx So... You can't say you're okay with calling to censor things, without looking at the full picture and where it ultimately leads. You're asking for a lot of collateral damage. And like someone else said, engaging in discussions about heavy, adult topics with strange adults on the internet (and most of us are adults, OP) is very dangerous. There have been a lot of cases where someone has cried foul about certain kinds of fictional writing, only for an "anti proship" person to walk up to them and groom them, and it worked because the kid was under the pretense that the person was a "safe, good person". Please do not put yourself in danger and get out of the spaces you frequent.

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Anon:

It's interesting you use Lolita as an example of what to do "right" when it comes to depicting things. You believe tons of media must be censored or kept away from the light of day, yet Lolita is an example of what to emulate to prevent that from happening? You would be very shocked to discover Lolita is among, if not the, most notorious piece of fiction for censorship groups to attack. So I really don't know if you fully understand what it is you're arguing for, here. You're just a kid, so I'm assuming you haven't actually read Lolita. That's the first thing. The second thing is, given the fact virtually all people who are invested in censoring and banning media actually hate Lolita, but you seem to have a totally opposite, 180-degree opinion about it, I have to wonder if you've happened to find a lot of random stuff from around the internet, but have yet to actually put it all together and cross-check everything to see if it actually makes sense. There's a lot of stuff in your post that is either plain out wrong, poorly strung together, or contradictory.

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Anon:

I'm going to look real tinfoil-hatty in two seconds, but I swear some of y'all antis in the notes are following tags like "pedophilia" and "incest" and that's the only reason you found this confession. Cause I haven't seen half of you here before. And if so, that's kind of weird. I hope I'm wrong. To be fair there's no way to confirm either way but I just thought it was funny because I can see it happening if not for the antis here, than for others. Gotta get that daily dose of outrage.

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Anon:

""Fiction doesn't affect reality" So why is representation so important? Why has propaganda worked so well?" you're taking this statement too literally. fiction obviously affects reality. if you cry over your favourite character's death, well there ya go. fiction has just changed reality. it made you feel sad things. representation is important because it makes those represented feel acknowleged and because it makes their existence more known to the world. propaganda is designed SPECIFICALLY to heavily affect reality. a doujin artist does not sit down and think "hmm. today i will draw a loli hentai to turn people into paedophiles". ""Well I'm not gonna become a murderer just because I've seen people murder in pieces of media" Name one piece of media where murder was portrayed as unironically, fully okay." as someone not well-versed in shooters, fortnite. murder is encouraged in fortnite. the point of the game is to kill people. i'd also like you to name one piece of media where rape is portrayed as perfectly fine and dandy. ""I'm coping with trauma" Well that's an awful coping mechanism. If you have been traumatized by incest, abuse, or pedophilia, why are you creating/consuming content where those are all romanticized?" because the fact that they're not alone in their suffering is comforting to them? as an abuse victim, i like characters with abusive parents. it gives me a character to sympathise with and characters to absolutely loathe with all my being. now that i think about it, i like that i'm not suffering alone. other people acknowledge the things i, and other victims, have to deal with. there are other reasons, but that's one i thought up ""You're ableist for criticizing our coping mechanism!" ... You know what else is a coping mechanism? Self-harm. Alcoholism. Excessive drug use. Those are frowned upon EVERYWHERE, because they're self-destructive. So why is thinking adults and minors should be cute together (sometimes real life adults and minors, but I'm not gonna get into the whole RPF discourse because RPF is even more fucking disgusting) suddenly okay?" there is a difference between doing things that being actual harm and because the latter is harmless. besides... isn't this circular logic? this argument is based on the conclusion you draw from it. "proshipping as a coping mechanism is bad because proshipping is bad". ""Rule 34 and gross ships is always gonna exist!" In our current world, bigotry is always gonna exist. Doesn't mean we should stop getting mad about it." bigotry excludes a specific group of often-innocent people for no reason. rule 34 is just porn of fictional characters. completely incomparable ""I'm exploring unhealthy relationships in fiction!" Okay then! That's great! Don't romanticize it. Tag it accordingly. Make the story frown upon it. Lolita, the book, frowned upon the pedophilia and thought it was disgusting. Do that." nobody romanticises anything. most loli hentai just... depict a loli having sex. it doesn't depict it as this amazing thing that you should dp. most lolicons that talk nabout wanting to fuck... idk, klee from the funny gacha game don't actually wanna have sex with kids. it's omly romanticised in-universeww, if you will. it doesn't say anything about it being good to do irl. and on nhentai, we use tags. we have a lot of 'em, including the recent 'kodomo doushi'. you jujst have to take a look at the tags section of a doujin and search for any tag you may not want you can also filter them in the search bar. we tag our shit, it's just your fault for being an irresponsible fuck. "But you're not gonna do that, are you." we will. the importance of tagging can NOT be stressed enough anon, i am gonna be blunt here. you are not smart. you did not debunk shit. god will slam the pearly gates of heaven on you for this post

[josphitia]

Josie's CowHRT Journey Part 2 - Telling the Husband

“You want to be… a cow?” Jojer asked with equal parts incredulity and curiosity. My husband was looking up at me from their chair, dealing with the brick I had just dropped onto their lap. I know it wasn't the best way to broach the subject, but I also know it was the only way I could.

Some history on us: We actually met at a nonbinary support group that Jojer was running. I'm not nonbinary, but it was the closest trans support group I could find. I ended up meeting a lot of wonderful and unique people there. Me and Jojer immediately hit it off and before we knew it, every free moment was an excuse to text or hang out with each other.

We were the best of friends for years, we helped each other in any ways we could. I was already on Estrogen and blockers when I attended that first meeting, but I helped Jojer to get on Testosterone. We helped each other get our names legally changed. So when the time came that we both found ourselves single, is it any wonder we jumped at the opportunity? We dated for a year and decided to get married. Jojer’s my they/them husband and I couldn't be happier.

Everything since then has been the mundane life of a married couple. That is until the past few weeks when I've been keeping to myself more, my nose glued to my screen as I process my newfound sense of self. Which leads us to this moment, to when I dropped my hopes and dreams for the future, to my husband asking with a puzzled face: “You want to be… a cow?”

“Yeah! W-well I mean, I think I've always been a cow. I wanna get on Animal HRT and help to see the bovine in the mirror that I am inside.”

“Okay, is this like a kink thing? Because I'm alright with us exploring more in the bedroom. Get you a cow print bikini or something and-”

“No! I mean, the bikini sounds cute, but it's not a kink thing… Not that it doesn't make me really happy thinking of myself like that and being intimate… But it's more than that, so much more. The idea of being a cow just feels like it's me, it's who I am. Like I can finally see myself as a complete person.”

“And you'd, what, be in some field all day munching grass? I also don't think a cow would fall under the pets policy of our apartment.”

“I wouldn't be, what do they call it… a ’feral’ cow. Though some people do go that route! I'd be more in-between than that. I've been reading all about it and what they can achieve with hormones nowadays is amazing and I'd finally have cute horns and a tail and even hooves!”

“Can't we just buy you some horns online if that's what you're wanting? And I know I've seen people with clip-on tails, we can get you some of those too.”

“It's not a costume I want to just wear at home or around you… it's who I want to be. Who I feel I am. Who I need help to be. Who I want to be with you.”

“Why haven't you opened up about this before? You're so sure this is who you are but you've never made any indication you've been unhappy just being a human woman. Now you're dropping this in my lap right before we're going to bed.”

“Because I didn't have the words for it… I didn't even realize it was a thing I could be. But I've seen other girls posting about this and it was so illuminating, it's like these girls had access to a dictionary I never knew existed. But their thoughts, their feelings, their journeys, it's like reading about myself in all but name. And it's not fair to you, but I've been so scared to bring this up to you… I know you're kind and understanding, but there's so many horror stories of people being shunned by their partners over this. Of people losing their partners over this because they weren't accepted… I love you and don't want to lose you but I also can't live my life without trying this…”

“Okay, okay. I don't completely get it yet but I can tell you've been putting a lot of thought into this. I don't want to give you the impression I'm not supportive, I am, this is just so new. I love you, Josie.”

*Sniff* “I love you too Jojer…”

“So, what would the first steps be?”

“It's basically like what we've already been through. See a therapist, get a letter, then going to a supportive endocrinologist who'll fill the prescription. And I even already have the name of a therapist who can help me! But, uh, I'm hoping you can help me with actually making the phone call… You know how I am…”

“Of course honey. C’mon, let's get ready for bed. You can talk to me more about how you're feeling when we're laying down. I do have to admit though, you're right about one thing.”

“Yeah?”

“You'd look really cute with horns~”

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Josie's Cow HRT Journey

First|Previous|Next

[bonedo-enthusiast]

coming out to bnd 𐂐◯𓇋

A/N: my first ever actual tumblr post! (AHH) i’m still learning about how to use tumblr and whatnot but… i had this thought one day and figured maybe i should post it. hope you guys like it. (also btw lowercase is intended!) :)

tws: none(?), mention of homophobia/transphobia but only in passing

genre(s): fluff, comfort

wc: 723

sungho

“oh, really?”

surprised but tries not to be too surprised because he doesn’t want to make you feel weird

will take your secret to his grave if need be

probably won't ask you many questions because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable

assures you that this won't change anything about your friendship

he might be a little awkward though, unsure of how to segue into a different subject

if you came out as trans, it would definitely take several months for him to be able to switch to your new name and pronouns

not out of malice, but because he knew you for so long as (insert deadname)

he would cringe every time he slips up, quickly apologizing and moving right along

riwoo

"oh... thanks for telling me."

similarly to sungho, he's surprised

but he's definitely more awkward about it

like to the point you wonder if he's homophobic/transphobic

but he just has so many thoughts and questions swirling around in his head

like how long have you known? what does this mean? does this change anything about your friendship? (no, of course not!)

once he pushes those thoughts aside, he smiles at you tells you he's glad you told him

now you both are closer than ever! <3

no but i feel like whenever riwoo would mess up your pronouns, he'd apologize profusely

like to the point where it's very awkward...

but he's trying his best! :,)

jaehyun

"oh word?"

no but something in me tells me jaehyun would get excited (?)

(like this man may or may not have taken a "am i gay test" in high school kind of vibes)

"whaaaat?!"

if you came out as trans, he would definitely insist on buying necessary supplies for you, especially if your birthday is around the corner :D

he's super sweet and supportive, immediately asking you what your new name/pronouns are

"ooh, that's such a cool name!"

and if you came out with your sexuality, he would always consider this when talking about attractive people

like pointing out cute people you'd potentially be attracted to with your newly revealed sexuality

might even try setting you up with them lol

taesan

"okay... and? took you long enough."

bro already knew 😭

taesan strikes me as a very observant person, so i feel like he'd already have some idea

maybe he'd even start viewing you as the gender you transition to, before you even tell him

(he's psychic! /j)

in his mind, that's who you are and who you always have been! <3

as a result, he would have no issues with getting your pronouns/name right

as for sexuality, he really doesn't care (respectfully)

"cool."

like. so nonchalant.

leehan

"oh? tell me more."

i feel like he'd be very curious about your identity (if you're comfortable telling him about it of course!)

he's a big listener and likes learning about things, so he would be very good to talk to about these things

and actually, i could even see him doing some research to try and learn more about his friend and understand them better :)

i see him as the kind of person you'd come out to first, just because he's so understanding

like you could come to him with your fears and worries about your realized identity and he'd just be so so sweet :(

"you're still the same person, and you're still my friend. you are never alone. it's okay, we can figure this out together."

PLS 😭💗

woonhak

"huh... so what does that mean exactly?"

i'm not sure he would understand anything beyond the basic terms most people know (like gay, lesbian, trans)

so if you were to come out to him as, say, nonbinary, he might need some explaining about what exactly that means

but regardless, he'll just smile and nod

but still be confused because why are you telling him this??

he wonders if he's supposed to do something with this information, or just listen

i can so picture him trying hard to pay attention to what you're saying while at the same time trying to figure this stuff out in his head lol

but once he's past this internal debate, he's so sweet

messes up your pronouns/ name quite a bit at first though

"yeah, me and (insert deadname)-- i mean, wait! sorry, (insert chosen name)..."

[stilitana]

hello everyone! it's been a long time since i posted or chatted with anyone here. i wanted to give an update.

a lot of people here i met from writing fanfic. i've been writing fic since i was nine years old. (warrior cats stories in a spiral notebook during math class :,) i have received comments over the years that have really humbled and astonished me, that something i wrote could affect someone so deeply, and that somehow a story could connect me to people who felt so many of the things i was feeling. i thought i would write fic forever. now, it's been two years since i wrote any.

but i do write, more than ever. i have written and published a couple short stories, but now i want to finish a novel. i am working really hard on it, probably harder than i've worked on anything in my life to be honest. i have thought about why that is.

coincidentally, or not, the last time i wrote any fanfic was right before i did some things that woke me out of the passive fog i lived in. i had been contemplating suicide so long. finally, i told myself: you have to try everything else first. have you tried everything? and the answer was clearly no.

that's when i started to transition. a year before that, i'd started anxiety and depression meds after resisting for years, and i think they helped, but no where near as much as transition did. transition felt like, wow! this is what was missing the whole time! i solved the mystery of my sadness, now the rest of my life is going to fall into place!

now that it's been two years since i came out, i have realized that sense of excitement about life had actually almost nothing to do with taking hormones, changing my name, or getting top surgery. i know that sounds weird. what i mean is, even if i wasn't trans, or trans in this specific way, i think i'd have reached this crossroads where i needed to decide--am i going to do something about my apathy, or not? transition was, well, transformative, but not for the reasons i thought. yes, i have relief from a lot of daily dysphoria, but more than that, i have self-knowledge. i know that i am a person capable of looking inward, acknowledging a truth i had lied to myself about, and making a change to my life--a public change that required bravery and more willpower and initiative than i thought i was capable of. does any of that have to do with T, specifically? or is it more to do with willingness to risk, and to upset the expected and work against inertia? like, to be honest, i think i could have made other choices that would have also resulted in the feeling of freedom and liberation that transition gave me. and i hope i do make other choices like that. i hope i keep making them forever. i think when i started transition i thought it was The Decision of my life but that's actually laughably naive in hindsight. to me being trans now is maybe an attitude or a style of grappling with life, a way of thinking and surviving, a constant becoming-ness instead of the this-to-that i used to understand it as. because tbh if i passed seamlessly and never experienced any friction related to my trans identity again, what is left of that identity? it's more than a gender identity to me. it's like, a scrappy and hardy survival style willing to mutate and adapt and take on new and strange forms to endure and maybe thrive like a tree growing around a fence. to me at least, for now, that's how i think of it.

i still live in nashville w my little family, my sibling and my partner and our dog and cat. i work at the child support office and i like working there, and i also don't want to work there forever, and the ability to want things is still kind of new to me, so i've been more motivated than ever to write. i write on my lunchbreaks every day and when i get home. i hope i'll have a novel to share some day.

we're planning to move in the next year and a half to a blue state. maybe chicago or minneapolis. i have really conflicted feelings about moving. but i have to remember that loss is inevitable, and so is change, so i might as well participate in making choices that result in loss and change, since they can't (and i guess shouldn't) be avoided.

that's my update! everything is going wonderfully and also terribly all the time!

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33

I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.

Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?

A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.

//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing

hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!

and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3

the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!

sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way

in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else

sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name

but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him

he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind

reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified

but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)

sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time

reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth

those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely

how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days

back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk

some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing

but other days getting up from bed was Hard

now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving

he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always

they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??

again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??

like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother

and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him

it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc

there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now

he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'

like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .

as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!

when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc

when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really

some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him

like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know

or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that

which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything

but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great

he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!

this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with

which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish

[gay-questions]

; this is kind of odd but I just need an opinion. I'm transmasc and I feel dysphoric about certain parts of my body, namely my hands; arms; unfortunately existing titties and the down below ( under the sea as Sebastian says 😔 ). But I'm fine with every other feature of mine. Would it be nice to have more prominent facial hair ?? Yeah. But do I feel uncomfortable or distressed when thinking about my face looking feminine ?? Not really no, it's not a huge bother. And so physically I kind of look:

; masculine ( hair ), feminine ( face ), masculine ( top half when binding ), but feminine around the arms. Then my legs are honestly alright, especially since my hair is so dark it makes them appear hairier than they actually are. And feet are whatever idk ..

; essentially I js feel odd because other trans people ( especially transmascs / transmen I've noticed ) seem to feel uncomfortable with every aspect of their body and physical self, etc, whereas I only uncomfortable with specific parts. And I'm genderfluid and so some days that discomfort is not terribly bad in certain places, whereas other days it's terrible. But it's always in those specific areas and not my whole body. And I know this is a silly thought but it makes me feel invalid and maybe " not really trans " because I don't experience as much dysphoria and discomfort as others, and not in the same place / everywhere .. Idk makes me feel weird ?? :']

; so yeah .. Is this okay ?? Weird ?? Do others feel like this ?? Thats my question I suppose .. /gen /lh

First off, anon, I want to tell you that the whole “under the sea��� bit made me tear up with laughter. My stomach hurts. How dare you.

Secondly, I really, really felt this. A lot. You don’t need to feel dysphoria to be transgender. Gender isn’t your body. It’s your brain. It’s how you feel, it’s who you are, not your body. You can be a boy, a girl, neither, both, etc, you don’t have to feel dysphoric. Some transgender men keep their boobs and never get bottom surgery and keep themselves looking feminine but identify as guys. That doesn’t make them “not guys” or “not trans” they just look how they feel comfortable with. You don’t need to feel it. Ever.

When it comes to dysphoria, it can be changed and helped. You stated the worst places are your hands, arms, breasts and “under the sea” areas. I would personally suggest for hands and arms working out ( weights, pushups, pull-ups, etc for arms, and grip strengthening exercises and tools are easy to come across ). It seems binding is something you have been doing ( safely I hope ) and that should help. When it comes to your “under the sea” areas ( I’m obsessed with that saying now. I’m using it. ), packers are sorta expensive, but investing in one might help you, or look into foundations near you that sometimes give them for free for transgender youth ( this will depend on your age possibly ), or even bunching up a sock and stuffing your pants may help a bit.

I hope this helped!

[secondbeatsongs]

iCarly Meta, Part 5: Socko, Nominative Determinism, and How I Spend My Free Time

so, you may remember that I've made four separate iCarly posts before, because I am just way too into this dorky, ridiculous children's show.

well, over a year ago, I wrote this fifth one. and after some introspection, some really deep self-evaluation about what I want and where I'm going in life, I've decided that it's time to share it with the world at large

so...let's talk about Socko's family!

to catch you up: Socko is Spencer's best friend, who designs all of the fun socks that Spencer wears! he's first mentioned in s01e07 (iScream on Halloween), though some of his socks are shown as early as s01e02 (iWant More Viewers).

(technical note: production-wise, s01e09 is listed before s01e07, and I think that was intended to be Socko's introduction, and it would make sense, considering how Spencer describes him in that ep. but I can't prove this, and so we move on.)

while Socko is mentioned consistently throughout the show, he's never fully shown on screen. but, he does technically appear in an episode, because you can see part of his arm in s04e11-s04e13 (iParty with Victorious) when he hands Spencer the keys to his van.

Spencer and Socko have known each other since at least 1999 (as mentioned in s02e12, iRocked the Vote) when Spencer would have been 17 or 18. and despite Socko almost never being shown, it's clear that he spends a lot of time with Spencer, and that they're close. if Spencer needs something, Socko is always willing to call in a favor from one of his family members.

and boy, does Socko have a lot of very interesting family members.

let's go over some of them real quick:

Bernie is a welder, Otto is a used car salesman, Tyler designs neckties, Taylor is a tailor, Rob is a thief, Arty is an artist, Isaac is an optometrist, and Ryder is a motorcycle enthusiast.

are we noticing a pattern here?

every single one of these is an aptronym – a personal name that is aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner. and since all of these people are in some way related, this is fascinating to me.

it seems like Socko's family is really into nominative determinism – the idea that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names. whether or not this is true of people in real life is unclear, but in the universe of iCarly, this is something that Socko's family is all about.

when did it start, I wonder? who was the first in the family to have a job or hobby that related directly to their name? and who continued that pattern? because someone named Bernard going by "Bernie" and taking up welding is one thing, but an entire family of people going into fields that have to do with their names is unsettling.

is this on purpose, now? do the parents in Socko's family choose names for their children based on what they want them to be? is there an expectation that each child will have to choose a profession based on what their parents name them?

I think there is. and I think it's fucked up.

imagine growing up knowing that your name would control your future career options. that no matter how you felt about your name, choosing a career or hobby that matched it is what would make your parents happy. that at least some portion of your parents' love is tied to the idea that you will be what they named you.

and depending on the name, the kids aren't always left with a lot of options! someone named Bernie could be a welder, a woodburning artist, a firefighter, etc...but for Taylor, there's really only one path to take.

what if a kid is trans? I just have to wonder, would they be judged more for not identifying with their assigned sex at birth, or for changing their name?

and one of Socko's cousins is named Mary. think about that with me for a second – Mary.

imagine that the only dream your parents have for you is that you get married. and not just fall in love! no, you were given this name because their express purpose, their biggest hope for you is that you get legally married.

what if Mary had been gay? what if she grew up with fear in her heart, knowing that the only thing her parents had ever wanted from her wasn't possible, was actually illegal, because of who she was?

or what if she had been aro, or ace, or just otherwise not interested in relationships? or what if she was interested in relationships, but not the serious, legal commitment of marriage?

my hope here (my one fragile hope) is that Rob, Mary, and Josh are siblings, and that their parents were trying to escape this part of the family legacy. maybe they named their kids Robert, Marian, and Joshua, and tried to steer clear of any obvious career choices – but then their sons started going by "Josh" and "Rob" and causing trouble, and "Mary" started talking about her upcoming wedding, and they knew that they would never be free of the family curse.

'cause it's gotta be a curse, right? I feel like at this point, it has to be.

but hey, worry not! because I think there are some loopholes.

Penny, for example, had a lot of choices – she could have minted coins, or built fences, or designed ball-point pens, or been a cashier (etc, etc). but she didn't do any of those things! she started a t-shirt company, and made shirts with fun phrases on them like "church pants" and "parole baby" and "chest words" (all shirts I would wear for real).

her job didn't have anything to do with her name – but she still followed the family pattern. she named her t-shirt company "Penny-Tees", and sewed a single penny into each of her shirts. instead of finding a name-based occupation, she made her own.

I really think it's brilliant – she got to do what she wanted, and her parents couldn't complain, because it still suited her name! and if this pattern is curse-based, she found a way around it by following it to the letter (but not exactly the spirit), and because of this, she got to make her own choices.

and speaking of jobs that may or may not suit one's name: let's talk about Socko.

early in the show when we're introduced to him, we know three things about him:

he knows where to find huge pumpkins

he sells Spencer all of his wacky socks

his name is Socko

but, thinking about that third point…is it?

like, is his name actually Socko?

let's look at Socko's family tree for a moment:

(ID in alt text)

(yes, I made this. it took over two days. I skimmed through many episodes, looked through a large amount of the old iCarly website on the Wayback Machine, and as far as I know, this is canon accurate.)

(shhh, this was absolutely a valuable use of my time. don't worry about it.)

look at his family. look at the names.

almost all of them are, well…normal names. names that could belong to any acquaintance, friend, or relative in your own everyday life.

the only real exceptions here are Freight Dog, Boomer, and Dr. Paxil – but if we're being real? "Freight Dog" is almost definitely a nickname, "Paxil" isn't that strange-sounding of a surname, and I have actually seen people named "Boomer".

so that just leaves…Socko.

"Socko" is not a people name. it sounds mean, but I don't know how else to word that – it's just not a name for a human person.

it would be a great name for a cat or a dog (especially if they had paws that were a different color from their body – man, that'd be so cute!), but it is not a name that many parents would willingly give to a human child. especially when all of the other siblings in the family have relatively normal names.

my theory, my hottest take: I don't think "Socko" is his legal name.

think about it: Socko and every single one of his siblings went into the fashion industry. even accounting for the fact that they probably wanted Penny to have a different career, would Socko's parents really want all three of their other children going into the same industry, especially one as tumultuous and challenging as fashion design?

I think not. I think they gave Socko a different name, one that they believed would lead him down a completely distinct career path. and then, like Penny, Socko found his own true calling – but instead of changing his occupation to match his name? he changed his name to match his occupation.

it is my belief that Socko's birth name…the name his parents gave him…

(drumroll please)

…was "Socrates".

now hold on, just stay with me here. because I swear that this does make sense, really!

so, back at the beginning of this post I mentioned nominative determinism, but that term wasn't actually used until 1994. before then, it was called "onomastic determinism" or "die verpflichtung des namens" ("the obligation of the name"), but it wasn't really…a thing? it wasn't something that people really studied, and when they did, nobody could seem to come to a solid conclusion about whether or not your name does actually influence your career choice.

I think that in some way, Socko's parents wanted an answer. they wanted an explanation as to why their family tree reads like a joke book. and by naming their kid "Socrates", they were sending that question out into the world, hoping for a response.

because there were really two options here – either Socko would grow up to be a philosopher, someone who could search for meaning in the pattern of family job-finding, or he wouldn't. and if he didn't, if he threw off the shackles of his name and did something else entirely, then that in itself would be an answer.

and sure, maybe his parents should have thought about how "Socrates" might be abbreviated. maybe they should have considered that he could grow up to design socks. but hindsight is 20/20, and I don't know if that's something any parent would expect of their child, so I won't hold that against them.

I will however, judge them for naming two of their kids "Taylor" and "Tyler" – like, my god. can you imagine how often people got them mixed up? it's inhumane.

even worse if they were twins! though actually, that would make some kind of twisted sense – to give twins names that not only match, but that would lead them to careers in the same industry. maybe they wanted them to go into business together? hoo boy.

anyway, sorry, I've gone off-topic. back to Socko – or should I say, Socrates.

"Socrates" is a pretty fun name. two parts of it are σῶς (sôs, “safe and sound”) and κράτος (krátos, “power”), which is an interesting name meaning for a dude who was executed for corrupting the youth.

(I'm talking about the philosopher here – as far as I know, Socko from iCarly was not executed for corrupting the youth. at least, not yet.)

and if we keep thinking about Socrates (the philosopher), I think there's another reason that this name fits: we know fuck-all about Socrates.

sure, he's well-known – lots of people know about his ideas, and the Socratic method – but…he never actually wrote anything. everything we think we know about him, we learned from somebody else.

all of Socrates' interests, his skills, his beliefs? they were all things we learned from Plato, Xenophon, or (I guess) Aristophanes. we have no idea what the dude was actually like, outside of that.

just like we have no idea what Socko is like, outside of what Spencer says.

Socrates is a vital figure in the history of western philosophy, but all of the things we know about him are altered by the opinions of other people, filtered through the lenses of their perception.

and Socko is a vital character in the show iCarly, but all of the things we know about him – his hobbies, his opinions, his wants – are things we've heard second-hand from Spencer.

(you're laughing. Spencer Shay is a stand-in for Plato, and you're laughing.)

so in a very fun way, Socko (Socrates) did live up to his name…by being unknown to us, the audience.

us, watching this TV show the way chained prisoners watch shadows dance on the wall of a cave.

continuing down this rabbit hole…does this mean that one of the iCarly crew is Aristotle?

no…perhaps that's taking it too far.

(it'd be Gibby)

final notes:

I haven't seen all of the iCarly reboot yet (I'm on episode 3! I have mixed feelings, but I think one of the writers ships the thing that I ship, so that's fun), so if it mentions something about Socko lore, I unfortunately do not know about it.

fun fact: the ancient Greeks did often have names that were meant to have sway on their lives! for example: Hedistē ("most delightful"), Demotimos ("honored among the people"), Hippodamas ("horse-tamer"), Nikomachē ("victorious in battle").

additional fun fact: I asked one of the mods of the iCarly wiki, and they said I could put the family tree I made on the page for Socko's Family! :D

look! it's my thing! the thing that I made! how cool is that?!

(I'll be real; I am way too proud of this)

yes, two of Socko's family members have inaptronyms instead of aptronyms: Harry (bald) and Jean (allergic to denim). but in my mind, they still count – the names are still weirdly suited to their specific lives.

since I'm pretty sure "Freight Dog" is a nickname, I also took a crack at what I think his legal name might be. my theory? "Aaron".

(get it? Aaron? because he's in the air? okay, I'll see myself out.)

anyway, my new hobby is coming up with more family members for Socko to have. descend with me into the deepest reaches of The Headcanon Zone, and behold:

Lisa: She's a landlord (she leases apartments). Socko hates her.

Barry: A big ol' bear of a man. Or he could work for Gund or Build-a-Bear or something. That could be fun!

Mike: Audio technician

Amy: Sharpshooter

Summer: Camp counselor

Tony: Orthopedist. (toe-knee)

Marty: Owns and operates a supermarket

and because it's fun, my friend @wonderbound joined in and came up with these super great ones:

Drew: Illustrator

Cody: Programmer or hacker

Pete: Bryologist (he studies moss!)

Norm: He's just a guy

Flo: Plumber – or maybe, an expert in fluid dynamics

Hattie: Milliner (she makes hats)

Howl: Werewolf (or perhaps, the owner of a moving castle 👀)

Will: Estate planning attorney (he writes wills)

anyway, I think that's about it. thanks for coming with me on this adventure! I hope it was as much of a rollercoaster to read as it was to write, because yeah, it was a weird one over here.

I mean, it started out normal? but then the next thing I knew, I had gotten invested, made nine edits to the iCarly wiki, and designed that whole family tree. so I think maybe I went a little overboard with this one. xD

tune in next time, for…I dunno. I think my brain needs a break after that. but, eventually I would love to write more meta! just…maybe not all for iCarly? I have some things to say about Gravity Falls that I think are gonna blow your minds.

(not really; I just think it's great)

[system-comforts]

i’m questioning if i’m a system but i really have no idea? like i have some stuff that might be system-y but it also might be nothing idk.

to preface the next bit i’m not asking you to like. definitively tell me if i’m a system or something obviously !! i just want to get it all off my chest i guess asfjdgk

reasons i feel like i might be a system:

-> i have different “modes” where i sometimes type differently + my gender feels different (like not by a lot, it’s always masc but different microlabels) + i prefer different names and sometimes different pronouns. …take a shot every time i say different lmao (/joke)

-> i definitely dissociate sometimes and i have memory issues that i think go past what’s normal for adhd? (diagnosed)

-> in like 9th-10th grade i split myself into three “parts” (trans guy part (13-14), kind of in suspended animation/asleep all day and sometimes awake/in control at night while i was on tumblr. bigender part (14-15), handled regular life stuff like being around school and family, the “main” one. cis woman part (18) who perpetuated/handled a very unhealthy/traumatic “coping mechanism” we had at the time. only ever in control while we were engaging in the thing she handled. originally i kept her in a locked room the rest of the time, eventually i let her out and after that she’d like hang around taunting us all day.)

reasons i might not be:

-> i always feel like /me/, just a different me sometimes

-> i haven’t talked to/been aware of an actual different part of myself since about 10th or maybe 11th grade. the closest i’ve been is like. feeling like i was nobody/a kind of indistinct mush idk and thinking about me (one specific “mode” of me) as a separate person. but it wasn’t like he was actually there as a tangible presence, i just felt like he existed separately. like when someone else lives in your house but they’re out running errands or something so they’re not currently there if that makes sense?

-> like i said, i have a tendency to kinda just steal personality traits from characters i like. right now i’m in. i’ll say sunshine mode bc i don’t wanna put one of my actual names on here. but suffice to say it’s a similar personality to a “golden retriever” character i’m fixated on

-> i also tend to kinda steal personality traits from people i’m around a lot and one of the friends i’m spending a lot of time with rn is a system so i could be unconsciously copying him

-> the dissociation and memory issues could just be from my depression

Hey there anon, we're glad you felt you could vent about all this to us. We also appreciate the preface, since it's definitely true. It seems like you've been considering this question for a while and put in a lot of thought. What you sent made me think of a few questions. Although I can't say yes or no, I hope some of these questions can give you more food for thought.

Experiencing dissociation, especially more than typical for people or for a disorder, is definitely something to consider when questioning plurality. I would be curious, are there certain times or situations where dissociation happens more or less? Are there certain times or situations when memory loss is more likely? How much and what kind of things can you remember? Skills? Personal facts?

During these different modes, when you prefer different names and pronouns, and type differently, what else is different? Perspectives on the world? Values and beliefs? General interests and tastes? These sorts of things may not change as much, or may change more slowly, for someone who isn't plural. However, this may also be different for young people, who are still finding and building their identity. The sense of feeling "like me, just a different me sometimes" could be from plurality, from other disorders (ex masking), or even just a feeling of being young and growing. I would talk with others in different communities, talk with peers, systems, other neurodivergences. Talk about this feeling, see what they say, and try to find what resonates most with you.

Can you listen to these different parts? Perhaps not direct communication, but do you feel an "foreign" impulses, persistent thoughts that seem to come from nowhere or not yourself?

As one last question, does viewing yourself as part of a system help you understand yourself? Is it a helpful framework, does it make sense, does it fit? Does it help you learn about yourself, or does it still feel not right or limiting, or does it ignore other important information?

I hope some of this helped. It seems you've been working hard at this, so we wish you luck as you continue to question this. Know that it's ok to not know, and it's ok to explore the system community as you continue to question.

-mod saturn

[6okuto]

today has been a fucking rough day. If ur comfortable w it, could we get a trans/nonbinary gender affirming scenario w a touchstarved Character (I have a huge preference for Vere, but whichever character u feel like writing ab works too, it’s up to you) please and tysm for ur time

TS CAST WITH TRANS/NB READER

TW: dysphoria / transphobia

tried to do as many hcs as i could for diff situations but if u wanted specific things let me know and i can do a scenario :] i put notes before bullets so you can skip if they aren't applicable or may trigger you! (if anyone sees smth that i missed or should change pls let me know) i hope the next few days are kinder to u nonnie 🤍 love u and i hope u know ur valid and always welcome here 🫂

VERE

vere's demeanor immediately gets serious when he notices you're upset. he's dropping whatever he was doing and coming closer, pulling you somewhere quiet if you aren't there already

feeling dysphoric | if you were just feeling dysphoric, he jumps straight into comfort, whatever that means for you. do you want a distraction? do you want to talk about it?

he'll double down on any preferred compliments for a while, making sure to casually use them in your conversations. if you start questioning your appearance or get worried about being seen as someone you're not, he shakes his head and tells you to look at him. keeps direct eye contact so you know he's absolutely serious with the compliments he's about to say.

vere would also help you buy clothes that made you feel confident. fully supports dressing up and the importance of clothing. you guys aren't leaving until you agree with him about being the best-looking couple in the city

masc (prince) | gets you to try on something so so fancy so he can tease you, "are you sure you aren't hiding some royal bloodline from me? am i unknowingly dating a prince of some far away land?"

fem (beautiful) | eventually picks that outfit you keep eyeing every time you walk past the mannequin. you come out and he's extremely pleased. "i knew you'd look beautiful in it, what took you so long to try it on?"

gn/androgynous | after time, he gets a good handle on what you lean towards and brings you ? such a good fucking outfit where the fuck did he find this? "i think you have the title of the most stunning person in eridia."

borrowing his clothes | if it meant you wanted something from his closet, of course he'd let you wear it out. he thinks you might look better in that top than him, and he already has the perfect accessories to go with it

dealt with transphobia | if it was because of something someone said, he makes a mental note to look for them. genuinely pissed off but hides it well enough (you know both the fact that he's angry on your behalf but also that you right now are his priority)

so while he makes sure to call them on their shit and call them a stupid pathetic asshole,,, the filth on the bottom of his shoe,,, vere prioritizes getting you somewhere that feels safer so he can take care of you for the rest of the day

tells you your gender isn't up for debate. the only person who gets to question your gender is You in which case he'd still be supporting you as long as you were happy.

he reminds you that it has never been, and never will be hard or a burden to recognize you for who you are and to respect your identity. he's always going to see you as you, and you'll always be able to trust him to love and respect you.

affirming your chosen name | don't know if this is really specific but like,, vere seems like he'd compliment your name? he'd smile as he tells you that it fits you perfectly, and it's maybe his favourite thing to say.

vere gets softer with you in general behind closed doors, i think. he lets you get away with things that others wouldn't, but that lenience/softness somehow multiplies when you're having a bad day

you want to cuddle in bed all day and play with his tail or ears? that's fine with him. you want to take a bath or shower together because having him there to help wash you gets your mind off of everything? sounds lovely! do you want a scented soap? you want to go to the wet wick for drinks or to meet up with the others? Maybe questions your taste but gets up and ready with you of course. do you want to stay in with him and just spend some time together? let him get some tea going and go get a blanket, neither of you are leaving for as long as you need him

omg. vere drawing you with like,, whatever style or haircut or look makes you happiest just so you can have it. let him remind you that that's You in his mind, and he'll do whatever's needed to get you there

THE OTHERS (/ ALL)

the urge to use inanimate objects and abstract concepts to explain your gender. while not all of them would initially, or maybe ever fully understand, i really think they'd try so so hard. they'd agree with you and say yes you Do have the energy of that little cat with rain boots standing in a puddle. yes you ARE a mystical fantasy forest. that depiction of an otherworldly creature has your vibes. to be so honest i Am curious about what mhin would describe their gender as if asked

ment. of misgendering | not a single person is getting away with misgendering you (with malintent) in front of any of them, much less all of them together. daggers are getting shot into their soul from every angle until somebody corrects them

ment of transphobia | sometimes just,, seeing it on the news or wherever else is overwhelming enough. it's hard and frustrating and heartbreaking and emotionally ? just not a good time. let any of them know that you'd like some comfort or a distraction and they'll be there, whatever you need.

mhin will take you to sit and talk on the roof, hand you some treats to feed the strays on your way there. thinking about a scenario where you and mhin are with the cats and the both of you talk about how cats are just,, so much better than people sometimes. cats can't be verbal assholes they just meow. this also works with ais and his pets of course

you could literally ask kuras to help with a haircut and he would maybe First of all suggest going to a professional, but ultimately stand in the washroom with scissors ready if you don't want to. LOL

wearing makeup | ais and his red eyeliner will help you try a new make-up look if you ask. vere and his what I think is eyeliner/eye shadow would also help. either of them would do their best to follow your inspiration, and also teach you how to do it if you don't know how !

masc presenting | not just vere but like,, any of the guys will let you try on their clothes. if you don't like it or they don't fit (considering kuras is fucking 6 foot 6.) they'll take you shopping ! suggest their favourite brands and places and do their best to get you a closet you're happy with.

mhin lets you check their closet too and i'm so sure they know some kind of like,, lesser known store that has the most Gender Fucking Clothes. THEIR TOP? THE CLOAK? be serious where did you get this tell me your secrets

and i think it's a given but just a reminder that if you use multiple names they're all going to switch between them regularly,, the same with pronouns.

the next points just give you (cute) little moments where terms would be used for you to think about! :) the entire cast would use the terms that make you happiest, when they make you happiest. just let them know if you'd prefer one type over the other today, and of course they'll happily oblige :]

masc | (boyfriend) leander grins happily while he introduces you to people as his boyfriend. (handsome) and calling you handsome has become one of his favourite things to do. would go "hey handsome, you come around often?" when he catches you sitting at the bar of the wet wick

(he/him pronouns) | ais. help me. get the "i'm he's" joke AWAY FROM HIM! he won't let it go like he'll get drunk and order matching shirts that say I'm He's on it if you don't stop him i'm so serious. said it out loud to the others once and they "?" but went with it anyways. someone asks you "are you sure you want to be he's?" but don't laugh (do laugh.)

gn | (partner) i don't know kuras's sleeping schedule but i feel like either way if he catches you up late he tells you you should sleep. you say You're up right now and he shakes his head. "i'm finishing something up, and you're my partner who i want to be well-rested. i'll be up in a few minutes, i promise."

while i don't really see mhin as someone who really uses…words of affirmation…whenever they do compliment you they Mean it. at first they just say "you look nice," but then you catch them flustered and unable to look at you and ??? they say they're fine. the outfit you've chosen for tonight is just...really you. it's one of their favourite looks on you and it's the best one you could have chosen and they're really trying not to stare please look away they're dying

fem | (pretty) leander conjuring up a flower and tucking it behind your ear and saying it looks pretty, but you look prettier. to be honest he gives me casual compliment vibes either way, you could probably walk down the stairs and he'd say "well doesn't someone look pretty today?" bro you said that yesterday and the day before

(gorgeous) i totally see kuras as someone who while going on a stroll with you through the market will immediately notice if something catches your eye. whatever gorgeous piece of jewelry you thought you'd be stuck thinking of for the next 3 months? he buys it for you right there. "though i think you're still more gorgeous than it, it looks perfect on you," he says with a smile.