#I pulled half of this from my ass again but I guess ot works

[s0ull3ss-p3rs0n]

sorry if you’ve already said this somewhere but in your teen fsm au what do the other ninja think of fsm? Like Cole, Zane and Kai (and jay if he’s in the au with all his memories)

Kai had a mild existensial crisis but later on kinda started seeing similarities between Lloyd and FSM, pretty much in decent terms (sorta like an uncle)

Jay is pretty confused about the situation for a while, and at some point feels a bit of jealousy when Nya started directing her attention towards FSM more (Jay is very much a clingy guy to me and craves attention) but once FSM gets more comfortable around him too (they aren't used to people that well) he pretty much becomes the other "adoptive parent" and the three often just cuddle together and talk about stuff (Jay is a yapper lowkey)

Cole was suprised about the turn of events but pretty indifferent about it, probably introduced FSM to different genres of music and is overall chill about it (he's the gay uncle to FSM, just as nature intended)

Zane's initial reaction was just "huh." When FSM saw him he was quite suprised to know that a descendant of their creation could artificially create a being that would not count as FSM's creation yet had a soul (she absolutely went nuts when they got to know there were two of them). Also FSM loves Zane's cooking (who wouldn't) and the Overlord does too but would he ever admit that? Nah. Anyways Zane mostly has a bond with the Overlord eventually but is kind to FSM and pretty neutral about the whole mess (I mean what would you expect from a guy who is also practically immortal yet proceeds to be the death Georg of the ninja)

[swsequelsalt]

The Mehness of Obi-Wan

Now that I’ve seen the whole thing, the “Obi-Wan Kenobi” series was... well, at times it was fine. And at other times it was very irritating. Overall, I’d say “mild miss.” 

It would’ve benefitted a LOT from being cut down to about two hours in length. Maybe two and a half. So: A movie. That could’ve been cool.

Sundry Thoughts Under the Cut:

- When they first announced that Vader would be in this and Christensen would be returning, I figured there was only ONE reason to bring Obi-Wan and Vader back together before their fateful meeting in Episode IV: You can finally explain that moment in Return of the Jedi when Vader tells Luke that “Obi-Wan once thought as you do.” In other words, you tell the story of Obi-Wan trying to save Vader’s soul and failing. It’s been the most infamous question mark hanging over the continuity of the OT since 2005. But guess what? This Disney+ series makes absolutely no attempt to address it. Which boggles my mind.

- You’ve probably heard by now that the real stars of this show are Ewan MacGregor as Obi-Wan and Moses Ingram as the new character of Reva, aka “Third Sister” in the Inquisition. And I can’t fault the performances on these two whatsoever. They do amazing work throughout. Both of them are clearly invested in these characters and completely bringing their best to the table. It’s just that the material isn’t always worthy of them.

- Obi-Wan spends half the series as a total fuck-up until the moment when he instantly, inexplicably isn’t anymore. 

Remember how, at the end of Revenge of the Sith, Yoda was going to tell Obi-Wan how to commune with Qui-Gon, and Yoda said Qui-Gon would then train him while he was in hiding? Well, when this series opens, we quickly learn that Obi-Wan hasn’t managed to speak to Qui-Gon even ONE time. He hasn’t seen him or heard him at all. And he also hasn’t trained whatsoever. For ten. fucking. years. 

This subsequently leads into him spending three and a half episodes just completely sucking. He doesn’t know how to successfully disguise himself, he doesn’t know how to keep up a cover story, he doesn’t know how to fight with a lightsaber or even use the force anymore. He’s total rubbish! Except, weirdly, when it comes to guns? He actually kinda kicks ass with a blaster now — you know, the weapon Obi-Wan always considered to be “uncivilized”? No idea when he started training heavily on those things, but ok. 

ANYWAY, this all reaches Peak Embarrassment when Obi-Wan confronts Vader for the first time. He draws his lightsaber, but then he gets scared and opts to simply run away. Or he TRIES to run away. Like a methodical slasher villain, Vader doesn’t even have to run to magically catch up. Eventually, Obi-Wan has no choice but to very poorly attempt to block Vader’s lightsaber attack. Without explaining the entire climax, suffice it to say that ol’ Ben gets REAMED.

But then the fourth episode comes along. Near the start of the episode, we see Obi-Wan trying to pull a small object towards himself with the Force, but he can’t do it. He can only bring it like halfway across the table with difficulty. But then his mission to sneak into an underwater facility begins, and... he just instantly gets his mojo back! He can use his lightsaber like a pro. He can deflect blaster bolts back at stormtroopers. He can perform mind tricks. It’s not explained at all; he just suddenly is great at everything again. And he continues to be completely badass at all things for the rest of the series without anyone ever trying to explain the shift. What the fuck is that?!

- Sadly, Reva isn’t all that well-written for a bunch of reasons. Moses Ingram is bringing her A-game, and they let her down. She’s got a cool backstory and awesome underlying motivations, yet her actions often make no sense. 

In the third episode, she somehow easily senses the exact building where Obi-Wan is hiding amidst an entire town - when even Vader himself didn’t sense it or find it, just walked right past it! And then she instantly figures out that this same building contains a secret door that leads to an “underground railroad”-esque hiding spot for Jedi - even though numerous imperials have been through here and seen nothing at all, and there are no people hidden within (so she can’t be sensing any life forms). 

In the fifth episode, she finally is given the opportunity to do what she’s been pursuing for most of her life. All of her careful planning has led to this. So she naturally waits until the worst moment and takes action as stupidly as possible. .... Maybe the pressure of having decades of her life lead up to a single moment in time just got the better of her?

The worst instance of all this, though, are the CRAZY leaps of logic she takes in the very last episode. Based on some broken-up audio she hears at the tail end of the fifth episode, she somehow figures out things that she should have no way of knowing. But of course, she’s completely right. And she then pursues an objective that makes no sense and is completely out of character for who she’s established to be. Until at the end of the episode, she suddenly stops and... I guess remembers what her motivation actually fucking was? God, it is INFURIATING. If she ever appears in this franchise again, I hope they can try to give us some sort of retroactive justification for her actions in that last ep.

- The show would be a lot shorter if it didn’t spend so much time spinning its wheels. Sometimes they just repeat plot beats and sequences in a new setting, presumably because they figure the setting will be enough to make it seem different.

In Episode 2, Obi-Wan must rescue little Leia from captivity and then evade a bunch of stormtroopers hunting them while they make their way to a ship to escape. In Episode 4, Obi-Wan must rescue little Leia from captivity and then evade a bunch of stormtroopers hunting them while they make their way to a ship to escape.

In Episode 5, Obi-Wan and the nascent Rebellion are cornered by the Empire, and Obi-Wan determines that he must appear to give himself up in order to serve as distraction that will let the Rebels get away. Ah! but then, in Episode 6, Obi-Wan and the nascent Rebellion are cornered by the Empire, and Obi-Wan determines that he must appear to give himself up in order to serve as a distraction that will let the Rebels get away.

- Speaking of the actors, Hayden Christensen does amazing work in the Vader suit. I know it’s basically just a form of mime, but his movements look so powerful and threatening throughout. He also gets to reprise pre-burn Anakin in some flashback images courtesy of some digital de-aging, so that was cool. And on the topic of Anakin/Vader, I can’t believe how outstanding James Earl Jones still sounds at age 91?! I saw some rumors online that he might’ve been digitally enhanced beyond just the usual Vader reverb, but... either way, holy shit.

- One of the best moments in the show is probably Ewan’s reaction when he hears that Anakin/Vader is actually still alive. But I must admit that I was confused that Obi-Wan would be stunned by this information. I mean... he sees that Palpatine was calling Anakin “Lord Vader” even before their Mustafar duel. Did he forget that name, or did he somehow just never hear about the existence of a “Darth Vader” terrorizing the damn galaxy? 

- I wasn’t too sure about Vivien Lyra Blair as Leia when the series started, but she establishes that she’s up to it fairly early on. I was ultimately quite happy and impressed with her. 

- Lola is an adorable design, and also VERY marketable. But if we’re going to be seeing droids hanging  around the Organa residence, shouldn’t we have seen R2 and/or Threepio... ?

- I definitely did not expect Owen and Beru to get some pretty badass scenes? And actually do some fighting? Unexpected, but the writers and fight choreographers made it make sense. Although both Owen and Beru are willing and capable of standing up for themselves, the show doesn’t try to make them secret warriors or anything. They’re still just a couple of people trying to defend a farm for their family’s sake.

- I can’t argue much with the final battle between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. It’s cool to see. It would’ve been much more resonant if they had used “Battle of the Heroes” or “Duel of the Fates” in the score somewhere, though.

- Before the final battle, Obi-Wan says this is it - this is where one of them will have to die for the other to live. And yet! When Obi-Wan kicks Vader’s ass, he just looks him in the eye and... leaves. He leaves this former friend of his, who he saw casually killing innocent civilians one by one back in Episode 3, to continue his reign of terror. Obi-Wan, you absolute fool. You’re now basically responsible for everyone Vader kills for the next ten years! You know that, right?!  You stood there and watched Vader walk down a line of innocent civilians’ houses as he killed them one by one in an attempt to draw you out. You KNOW what this dickcheese is capable of! Christ... if the writers didn’t have any logical excuse for why this would happen, they should’ve rethought the whole goddamn sequence.

[jerryb2]

I mean….you all knew this was coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ : the Star Wars Art of one Mr. Drew Struzan. 

And look, the man has done so much and has such a diverse portfolio that Star Wars is only one very small part of his career. If you want to explore some of his other works, then might I suggest that you check out his website. 

As for me here, we’ll be sticking strictly to his SW art. Now, with that out of the way, here we go…

*cracks knuckles*

I have to admit that before I really started to dig into this, I didn’t realize just how many Bantam Era (and beyond) Star Wars books this man has illustrated. Nearly 50 titles, ranging from novels to comics, short stories & even an RPG supplement. 🤯 

And so, after much consideration, I decided to just pull all the titles that feature his art off my bookshelf and take a few pics for you guys:

First off, I just want to point out that I don’t have every book he’s ever illustrated. Some of them are just harder than hard to find, are hilariously expensive, or I just don’t have an edition that features his art prominently - you’ll see what I mean. Right off the bat though, you can see that he was really hitting his stride in the mid-90′s, with all but a handful of these coming out between ‘94 & ‘99. One of the highlights from this time for me, is The Callista Trilogy.

I just want to stress that The Callista Trilogy is a highlight for me only because of its gorgeous cover art. 🤣 Other than that, this book series needs to go lay down. 

Anyway, the designs are all really striking and even after all these years, absolutely iconic. And you can really see Struzan’s distinct visual style at play here; not a painting in the same vein as something from Dave Doorman, and not a simple trace. Rather, something that is stylized in a very particular, very subtle way, almost to the point where it appears photo-realistic at first glance. Beautiful.

Next up is this trio of trilogies (good use of words, me), collected in these Science Fiction Book Club (SFBC) hardcovers: 

Once again, these covers are just striking, particularly The Black Fleet Crisis. This is actually what I was referring to when I said that I don’t always have the best editions for a Drew Struzan appreciation post. 😅 

Because these are hardcover collections of paperback books, we actually miss out on a good bit of the art. For these SFBC special editions, the publisher just took all three and basically photoshopped the best bits of each one together. The one that suffers the most here is obviously The Corellian Trilogy, where they didn’t even try to blend everything together, and instead just separated everything into columns. I don’t personally mind it (and I do love having the hardcover editions of these books) but if you want to see the covers as they were originally intended, just pickup those mass market paperbacks. 🙂

There’s a lot more to get through, so I’ll just hit the highlights here; even though he didn’t illustrate The Thrawn Trilogy (that was Tom Jung, who I personally think did an okay-ish job at best), he did an absolutely amazing job with the follow-up, The Hand of Thrawn Duology in ‘98 & ‘99:

I’ve always loved these covers. And narratively speaking, they really do serve as one last hurrah on the Bantam Era. Oh, and also please note, Mara Jade on the cover of Vision of the Future, just as Zahn originally described her. ❤❤❤

If you step back and look at Struzan’s work as a whole, it’s all incredibly unified. I bring this up here because even though some of these are books relatively ‘meh’ worthy, Struzan maintained a level of quality that belied the mediocrity contained within. And also to say that he was definitely busy, particularly in 1994:

That’s right - all of these released in ‘94, within a few months of one another. These covers man… *chef’s kiss*

And look I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself: The Crystal Star was a hilarious joke until we all realized they were serious about it. 😳

Alright, that’s a little on the harsh side; it’s not nearly as bad as most make it out to be, and Waru as a source for unlimited power (citation needed 👀😉) isn’t any more ridiculous than the 50 other post-Palpy, hair-brained Imperial schemes that everybody else cooked up, so I guess it fits. And besides, I really wanna be nice to Vonda McIntyre here, but this book was just so so boring. 😴

*clears throat* Moving on, here we have a couple Barnes & Noble hardcover collections of The Jedi Prince Series:

The same thing applies here; cover art photoshopped from across 6 different YA novels to get these. They don’t look bad, far from it. But rather this series has some things that people would rather forget about, namely a supposed son of Palpatine (spoiler: he wasn’t) named Triclops who had - wait for it - 3 eyes. 

Like Tien. From DBZ. Yep. 🤦‍♂️

Moving further down the list, we have yet another pair of iconic cover designs, being I, Jedi (the only Star Wars novel written in the first person, and an appropriate riff on Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot - yes ladies & gentlemen, that is as clever as Star Wars gets) and The New Rebellion.

Classics, no doubt….but for reals, did anybody else ever wonder why the X-Wing on the cover of I, Jedi is missing an S-Foil? Or how that one slipped through??? 👀

Ah, at last we arrive at what is arguably Struzan’s most famous work; the covers for Shadows of the Empire & The Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition.

It’s hard to overstate just how important Shadows of the Empire really was for Star Wars as a brand. In an era where SW books were already extremely popular, the Shadows of the Empire Multimedia Project basically served as a breakout hit and reignited interest in SW media across the board. This was in no small part due to the striking imagery captured on its cover - are you seeing a pattern here?

This success actually renewed Lucas’ interest in a theatrical re-release of the OT in 1997….which of course, feature more beautiful art from Drew Struzan:

These are my OG Special Edition VHS tapes from back in the day. I watched these so damn much as a kid. In fact, they’re basically the whole reason that I’m here, annoying the shit out of everybody today. 😁

After the Bantam Era concluded & the Star Wars publishing license went to Del Rey, Struzan did progressively fewer pieces for SW media. Here we see his contribution for the latter half of the Last of the Jedi YA series, and his kick-ass cover art for the Darth Maul comic: 

And when I say that Struzan did progressively fewer pieces for Star Wars, I am of course omitting his turn as the poster artist for the freaking Prequel Trilogy: 

Say what you will about the films, but these poster designs are nothing short of genius. 

Look guys, it would be pretty easy for me to downplay Struzan’s Star Wars portfolio as just one small part of his incredible career. But my dudes, this is literally just the tip of the iceberg. The man has been a professional illustrator for over 50 years, and his art has delighted and inspired generations. From Star Wars to Indian Jones, and from Back to the Future to Blade Runner - Drew Struzan has played an integral part in shaping popular culture. 

Here’s to you, sir. 🍻

[katsukikitten]

Part one, no real warnings yet. Enjoy!

Bakugou's personal phone rings from the pocket of his hero costume for the umpteenth causing his skin to pop. All the while Kirishima allows his ruby gaze to fall over the hot head, having a good guess about just who is blowing up his phone. Worry snatches at Kirishima's heart for a moment forcing the question from his lips, even if it meant regretting it. 

"Are you sure your mom is okay?" Bakugou freezes in his step, inclining his head to fix a garnet glare at his so called friend. He sucks in a breath to yell, body tense and in a fighting stance before his phone blares again.

"FUCK!" He shouts into the night with only Kirishima and the moon to hear. The trees swallow his frustration as he rips his phone from his pocket, answering it so harshly the LCD beneath the screen ruptures. 

"What?! What the fuck do you want you God Damn hag?! I'm WORKING! Saving LIVES!" It had been a long time since he had called his mother hag, long enough there was silence on the other line for a moment. 

Then much like her son she takes a deep breath and now Kirishima, the moon and the trees know why Mitsuki was calling at such a late hour. Kirishima sighs with relief nothing is so dire as life and death, although for Mitsuki it is. 

"IF YOU DON'T BRING THIS GHOST OF A GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS I SWEAR TO KAMISAMI THERE WILL BE NO MORE NUMBER ONE HERO WHEN IM THROUGH WITH YOU. IM GETTING OLD I NEED FUCKING GRANDKIDS. THINK OF YOUR SWEET OLD FATHER HE AIN'T GETTING ANY FUCKING YOUNGER!" 

"That's what this was about?! Ma for the last fucking time I don't-" 

"You don't what? One of those hoes you sleep with has to like even your rude ass. Bring a decent one home." And with that Bakugou is left with the sound of three tones and a ringing in his ear. He grips the bridge of his nose, having no earthly idea of how to get his mother off of his back, let alone find a woman. The phone rings in his hand again, the screen filled with dead pixels and rainbow lines causing him hot to be able to see. Somehow it registers his touch as he goes from memory to answer. 

"What you fucking hag?!" He screams into the receiver. 

"Wow. Rude." You reply with a bite, "Just calling to tell you boss that I'm clocking out, dickhead." 

"I-I thought you were my mom." 

"Oh and that makes it better?" What an ass! 

"Fuck you." He growls, looking at Kirishima's watch, "You're clocking out way too early." 

"No, fuck you. I requested to be off by this time MONTHS ago. You can ask Eijirou-san, you approved it so he made the schedule accordingly." You quip, twirling one of your knives in your hands, "Besides I've been working waaay too long today. Oh and I found that perp hours ago." 

"What the fuck?! Why didn't you tell me hours ago?" 

"I fucking tried, you ignored my call. This was my third attempt." You slam the knife through the paperwork on your desk wishing it were the hot head's thigh. You rise as your eyes glance over the clock. If you didn't hurry this stupid phone call up, you were going to be late. You needed to sneak in before midnight. 

"Still too early for you. Normally you want the OT." He bites, causing you to roll your eyes. 

Gods you hated this guy. 

"Yea, well tonight is different." You'd pay in the long run for leaving so soon but tonight was special. She asked you to be there the last time you saw her and you promised. 

You never break a fucking promise. 

"Some subordinate you are bitch face." He growls then an idea pops into his head. 

Subordinate. 

As in you reported to him, as in Bakugou Katsuki was your boss. And well you had to listen to your boss to some extent and he knew you needed money, you tell him day in and day out it's the only  reason you would even dream to work with him. 

Although he has no idea why you are so hard out for cash. 

So he sets the bait, offering you a deal you can't refuse. 

"Tomorrow is your planned day off right?" 

"Yea what fucking of it?!" 

"I've got a special mission for you-" 

"No." You interrupt, already feeling the exhaustion of your seventy hour work week stacking up. 

"You didn't even let me finish you ungrateful brat. It will be three times your pay for half a day's work. Cold hard cash." The other side of the line goes silent. Licking your lips you think over his offer, fuck, that would actually help get your head above water. 

The light at the end of the tunnel. 

If only you knew how dark this tunnel was going to be. 

"Fine. I'll take your stupid fucking offer." 

"Promise?" His voice sounds a bit different, a little bit of a tease to it, as if he knows something you don't. 

"What are we in kindergarten. Yea I promise, fucking headass." With that you hang up, rushing down the steps of the agency building and into the cold air. 

Your phone buzzes with a text 

BakaBoss: Meet me at the agency, 11am sharp.

You roll your eyes, turning your phone to silent as you watch the nightly set of nurses do their normal routine. Barely making it in time for the security guard and head nurse to make their way outside by the one way back door for a smoke. Both too lazy to walk around to the front of the hospital, sticking a thin splintering wood block between the jam and the door, giving you easy access to the stairwell. When they were far enough away you slip into the door, sure to place the wood where they left it before climbing the stairs two at a time, racing the clock at the top half of the 11th hour. The janitor would have already mopped her floor and the only nurse on floor six was currently on the ground level half way through the small tobacco stick, she wouldn't be sticking her head into room 609 anytime soon. 

You draw in a deep breath, collecting yourself and forcing back the tears as you picked the lock, a skill set that not only were you amazing at but the very same skill that landed you here. 

And by here you mean stupid ass hero work all thanks to some "reforming" program by Izuku Miydoria. Still it was better than having to break out of jail in order to make cash, her bills weren't going to pay themself. 

You stick a stolen credit card in between the door jab and the door, right at the locking mechanism, although you could break out of just about anywhere, this would be the faster method of escape. 

"Hey, sis, I made it!" You say softly but with excitement, watching as she keeps her back to you. Her eyes wide from a mixed cocktail of chemicals and trauma, she stares out into the sky, counting the stars. 

It would be one of those nights where she was too warped to tell you were there. With a sigh you sink onto her mattress. If you could even fucking call it that. It was more like a box spring with a fitted sheet over top of it, you were still figuring out how you could sneak a mattress in. 

"I got you something." You say crawling to sit next to her cross legged, she turns to you and it's like looking in a mirror. Except one of you is covered in visible scars and the other is not. Hers are more than skin deep. Seeing her dull gaze never gets any easier, she stares through you for a long time before she does as she always does. 

Lifting her hand gently to cup your cheek so her thumb can slide over your scar. 

"How'd you get this?" Her voice is barely hers and it grabs a fist full of your guts pulling them downward. Everytime she asks that question you see the shine of a blade, a swipe of a strong hand and vision filled with blood.

Yours, there's but never hers. You like to tell yourself that's what counts but maybe you had a hand in breaking her. 

You clear your throat, pulling a bag onto your lap. 

"Nevermind that." You gently guide her hand away from your cheek and to her lap. When she makes no motion for the gift bag you force a smile as icy guilt collects in your chest. 

"It's for our birthday silly! Can you believe we are 26 today?" You place the pillow on her lap and her hands slowly go to the plush material. 

For a moment she has returned, flashing you a smile as she pushing into the soft material before she flickers out again. Like a light with just enough current to wink in and out of existence. 

Time passes and the clock strikes midnight, white clad shoes stomp against the polished floor signaling it was time to leave. 

"I'll try to see you soon okay?" You lean over kissing her hairline before grabbing at the old, flat pillow. Shoving it into the gift bag as you silently bound the room. Pushing the door open slightly as you slip the stolen card into the back pocket of your black jeans.  With that you are down the hall and through the backdoor without raising any sort of alarm as usual. 

Suddenly your phone weighs heavy in your pocket as you think of what kind of stupid errand that asshole was going to put you on. The stolen card sings in your pocket, begging to be used. So you slip into a bar to give it a good use. 

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

A blaring alarm yanks you from the bed in a sweating panic. Knife instinctively slashing the air before you send the blade into yet another digital alarm clock. Falling back into the mattress for just a moment's peace.

That peace doesn't last long once you show up at the agency. If anything is sours as you see Bakugou leaning against the bright white brick and in civilian clothes no less. 

"What's this?" You pick at his black dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showcasing his banded forearms.  He's paired it with a pair of black jeans, one knee ripped. Oddly it looks good together. Not overly dressed nor too dressed down. His vermilion eyes glide over your figure in your black body con hero suit. He sucks his teeth, hating this next part. 

"Called clothes dumbass. Speaking of we need to get you something fitting."

"For what? What exactly is this 'mission'?" 

"I'll debrief you later. Right now we need to get you new clothes." You laugh in his face before your rich expression turns deadly 

"With what money?" 

"Calm down, it's my treat Princess." He says with satire, the name sits odd on his tongue and even more odd in your stomach. He snatches at your wrist, "Come on before the stores get crowded and we get noticed." 

You find yourself in a shop filled with dresses and fancy blouses. All of which you hate. Bakugou seems to hate them too, too guady for his taste. Still he shifts through the soft silks because he knows his mother will love it. 

"Oi, you can't find a single decent thing here? I thought women loved shopping." 

"Yea for shit we like asshole." You hiss to him, having only found a pair of dark blue jean's. 

"Heh." He scoffs, rolling his eyes until he finds the perfect top. It looks decent and it could be your style. The one thing he learned about being undercover was to not stray too far from what looked natural or from the truth. 

"Put this on. While I find a necklace." He shoves the silky top into your hands and you look at the price tag. Suddenly anxiety burns in the soles of your feet soaring up to close your throat. 

"Bakugou. This is too much." Katsuki stops to glance over his shoulder, this is the first time you've used his name since he hired you three years ago. He sees your hand gripping at your bicep and he watches the rare tell sign that you're nervous as you chew on one of the scars that creeps onto your lip. He comes up to you, closer than he ever has been before, your senses flood with spiced caramel. 

"Oi." His voice is smooth, almost soft as he touches a ringed index finger to your forearm. You fixate on the shining black ring and your old habits have you thinking of six different ways to get it off of his finger. The thought soothes you as much as his voice surprisingly does. 

"I said I'm buying, remember you brat?" The teasing returns back to his voice before it turns gruff, "Now go change to make sure I like it. I'll be back in a second." 

A woman unlocks a small dressing room for you and once inside you hold your breath. Counting as you remind yourself that you cannot and will not steal anything of value while your boss was here. 

If you were any other person you would tap this Prohero's account dry, really rack up that platinum card you know sat in his wallet and sell the clothes marked up for a profit later. 

But even as much as you hated Bakugou, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. 

Instead you slip into the the outfit adjusting yourself this way in that as the neckline says enough without saying too much. The jeans curving against your figure in such a way doing as good as a job as your hero suit. You keep your steel toed boots as you step into the small hall with the three mirrors. As you turn this way and that Bakugou appears behind you, almost earning a knife to his gut. He forces the silver blade away before pulling out a necklace from a bag he just bought.  The gold chain is dainty, going through the top of the garnet making it seen as if it were a suspended droplet of blood. 

It marches the eyes that roll over you as he takes a step back before his harsh mouth breathes out a word. 

"Fuck."

Instantly it kills your mood as your lip pulls back over sharp teeth.

"Tsk. It's not that bad, God how do you get any pussy." You grumble, smoothing down the black blouse. 

"No, dumbass. You look...you look perfect." He stares into your eyes through the mirror, his smile growing wider as they wander over your scars and finally land onto that minimalistic drop pendant necklace. 

Over something you've never been able to have, something you always had to swipe from an unsuspecting neck and then pawn. 

"Now. I'm going to tell you here, in this store of crowded people so you don't cause a scene." 

"What?!" Anger already begins to bubble in your blood. The blades that kiss your flesh start to scream for relief. 

"From now on you have to pretend to be my girlfriend. Paparazzi are starting to swarm outside of this fucking boutique and my mom follows this particular trash tabloid since they love to use me as click bait. You just have to make it through dinner tonight and if shit goes south I'll pay you even more." 

[hollowboobtheory]

so i owe this to twitter

ok remember how a few weeks ago i was like i joked about being willing to write NFT fanfiction for money and someone actually took me up on that? well it’s time to pay the piper. or for the piper to perform.

This is very rough stream of consciousness because I planned on coming back and rewriting the whole thing after but tbh? I just cannot bring myself to do that. So appreciate that for what it is i guess.

k let's do this shit.

Ashur slammed the door behind him and groaned. I'm writing this during my shit breaks at work fun fact. Anyway Ashur groaned. It had been a long hard day of sing people i mean selling crypto. the meeting with a cyberaecurity expert had gone badly, and now 100s of people were at risk of losing their jpegs.

a At least it was over. He didn't get paid to worry about people's security.

He strolled into the Lazy Lions den. yes there is an avengers tower thing where all lazy lions live. he stopped by the fridge in the kitchen to grab a pre-rolled blunt on his way to the hiliter colored couch. oh no the way I spelled that it looks like it says Hitler at first glance oh well.

he flopped down onto the couch and kicked his feet up. Wincing at the dirt that sprinkled onto the flourescent velour, he leaned over to wrestle his combat boots off his feet and tossed them onto the floor. they thudded weighing.

the first drag hit his lu gs with a thick weed flavor. idk look up how weed works im a loser and nerd.

after a few more hits, he paused go listen around the house. he hadn't seen anyone else's company teslas in the driveway. ot sounded like nobody else was home.

perfect.

he tossed the blunt aside and reached down to unbuckle his big ass shiny belt buckle. it said live free die hard on it because Ashur was a libertarian. he unzipped his leather pants and his thick lion cock rolled out. it was soft, for now.

he grabbed his phone and pulled up his favorite hentai site.

oh yeah. his cock began to stir at the gelatinous titties. jiggly. he reached down and coaxed it out of his pants, spines just poking out of the soft skin.

god I'm really doing this huh.

he ran his hand from the base to the tip, ghosting over the spines poking out in line underneath the head. he scraped his claw over them once again, shivering at the stimulation.

he leaned his head back on the armrest of the couch and groaned, running his free hand through his hair, not quite messing up his half man bun.

he released his phone, mostly forgetting the uwu smol girl on the screen who was getting fucking riled by some tentacles. the sound was still on though, and it was enough that he didn't notice the front door opening.

he kept stroking himself for probably a few minutes before he heard a loud cough behind him.

ASHUR froze and turned around. Standing in the doorway, anglic halo illuminating his smirk, stood Nine.

at the sight of Ashurs faces he laughed.

"damn, I could have brought a lawn mower in here and you wouldn't have noticed."

"how long have you been standing there?" Ashurs cheeks grew warn under his gold fur.

"a few minutes."

damn, that was embarrassing. Ashur moved to put his dick back into his pants.

"I didn't say you needed to stop."

ashur froze again as nine approached the couch. oh.

his eyes were transfixed on his friend as he approached the couch. his teal hair glinted in the afternoon sunlight.

his heart rate picked up when nine crouched down in front of him.

he picked up the still smoldering blunt from the ground. "irresponsible. put this out."

Ashur didn't know what else to do but obey. he took the blunt from his friend and colleague, turned to the ashtray on the side table, and snuffed it out.

" you just gonna leave it there?"

"are you serious?"

"throw it away".

fine. "im putting my dick away," Ashur said, but even as he tucked it away he found it stiffening.

Nine simple cooked an eyebrows.

Ashur hurried to the trash can in the kitchen, suddenly uncomfortable.

after dropping the blunt jn the trash, he paused. he could leave, go upstairs and finish his.. business in peace. or he could go back to the living room, where Nine waited, and see where this went. he found his cock stiffening at that idea.

"need me to tell you where the trash can is?" nines voice rang through the Lower floor of the house.

the rush of blood at the taunt settled it.

he took a deep breath and returned to the living room.

the brooding manspreading way Nine sat on the couch mad Ashurs blood run south.

he'd removed his Hoodie and was only wearing a muscle tank underneath. they guy was a hardass about everything, including his workout routine, and Ashur was suddenly very appreciative of that.

Nine clearly noticed the eyes on his abs and arms. he smirked again. cock asshole.

"what are you waiting for?" Nine kept his voice even despite his bones. tenting at his pants.

Ashur approached the couch, this time with mounting tension as his roommate loosened his belt and opened up his pants. his cock was erect, spines just glinting in the light. and it was really big. probably 11 inches. his expectant and hungry gaze showed what he wanted.

Ashur wasn't sure he wanted to give him that satisfaction. of not having to ask.

"and what am I supposed to be doing with that?"

"you suck on it." Nine spoke slowly like to an idiot. the condescension once again went straight to Ashurs cock.

holy shit I'm really about to do this in this good Christian tire barn.

nvm they called me up

Nine held firm eye contact as Ashur knelt in front of him. really intense eye contact.

Ashue finally broke away to gaze down on the shaft before him. it protruded from a puff of blue hair that matched Nines mane. the spines were out, just enough to offer a little scratch.

Nine coughed. Asher looked up to his expectant face, still pinning him in place with his eyes.

finally Ashur reached out to give an experimental link. of course his dick tasted clean. just a little hint of musk.

Ashur relaxed himself as he continued kicking up the shift. he wrapped his lips around the head, prodding his slit with his tongue. he relaxed a bit more at the taste of salt.

just a guy blowing his roommate. nothing weird going on here.

the slight groan above him further encouraged him. he picked more confidently, starting at the base, just above nines balls, all the way to the tip before taking tip into his mouth licking the slit once more, and then sucking Nines cock further into his mmouth.

his canine hit one of the spines gently clicking and causing Nine to gasp and drop a paw into Ashur's hair. carding his fingers through.

Ashur paused. watch it buddy.

but he decided to let it slide. this time.

he worked his tongue against the bottom row of spines. nudging the tip against each one in turn testing the resistance they offered.

once he reached the last one, he offered a suck at NineS head.

nine gasped and tightened his fish in Ashurs hair.

that's it buddy. Ashur took in a deep breath and leaned forward, taking in as much cock as he could, then bit down. just a little. just enough to make Nine yelp in surprise.

Ashur pulled back with a smirk.

Nine gazed down challenging. "try that again." Ashur swallowed. "I dare you to try that again."

"you have to stop me."

Nine grabbed Ashur's hair and pushed himself back into his mouth. Ashur has just enough time to suck in a gulp of breath before wrapping his lion lips back around it.

he relaxed his throat and spelled his gag reflex as nine pushed into his throat. his spines just caught on the edges and his tongue, scratching just enough to ass some excitement.

Ashur swallowed and hummed trying to push nine closer to finishing and based on the grunts above him and the way he bucked his hips, he was close.

Ashur pushed a little further forward, swallowing all of Ninen who then came.

he swallowed fastness wanting to get every drop.

one nine had emptied his load into Ashurs stomach, and pulled back his already softening cock. a tiny stream of come tricked down ashurs chin.

he suddenly remembered his own situation.

he gazed up in a way he hoped was seductive, and licked up the trickle. "so are you going to help me with my situation?"

Nine looked just behind him. "your boots are in the middle of the floor."

[popculturebuffet]

Legend of the Three Cablleros: Pyra-Mid Life Crisis Review “Get Back, Ya MonkeyBatDonkeyRat”

Saludos Amigos! After four days of working on intensly exausting and through projects, my best of the year list and second Scott Pilgrim review, it’s nice to get back to some fun hyjinks with my boys. And boy oh boy.. did I get that. This one was a fun one.. not the best so far and we’ll get to it’s flaws as we go but damn if it wasn’t hilarous and insanely weird. 

So let’s get right to it, on with the show.  We pick up where we left off, Leopold, Felldrake’s mummified monkeybatdonkeyrat, as the boys come to refer to him, is carrying donald off and after a game of “What the fuck is this thing” And Jose understandably asking Xandra what the fuck is that, they try freeing him wiht Xandra successfully shooting him down... before the boys nearly kill donald with spikes and other pointy things before using Panchito’s hat to catch him. 

So Leopold returns to his master, and Feldrake reveals his plan for the episode: Their going to egypt. Okay so FELDRAKE is the reason Ancient Egypt is so evil. Huh, you learn something every day.  Meanwhile the boys try to hide because well.. Donald just got kidnapped and they’ve been at this one day. After some meh shenanigans, Xandra reveals her world map, where she can fast travel to any location with a “spark point”. Oh boy that means we’ll be getting  Zoey’s Infinite Playlist Crossover any day now... but while we ait for that, and we get a nice bit of the boys comparing the map to a GPS and Xandra for once being the one whose totally lost with the girls just nodding for her to accept it. But she can also track felldrake with it. You may be wondering “Wait why and how” but I thought of that: Because the original cabs mission once freeing Xandra was undoing Feldrake’s damage, she likely set up the atlas to track traces of his magic, and any flare ups in case he somehow returned.

So our heroes are off to egypt, though while the girls are staying behind, they give Donald the magic mirror from last episode so they can call them if they need them. HOnestly.. a pretty clever setup and a way to let April, May and June help without having to shove them into every episode. And being a fan of Ducktales, having it feel organic that a character isn’t going and still finding things for them to do is just.. it’s nice okay. Seriously Frank why didn’t you watch this. You still have hte better show so far but come on. 

My griping about another show aside our boys are off to Egypt.. anddddd in the middle of the desert.... wait so Xandra set up fast travel world wide to alls orts of leylines and stuff.. but the best she could do in freaking egypt.. was in the middle of one of the many stretches of uninhabitable desert. 

I mean I get it for some locations but this is freaking Egypt.. why isn’t the pyramid their going to the fast travel point. Start making sense making sense! Anyways so Feldrake gets an easy lead because Xandra took her stupid pills when picking this spot while Xandra and the cabs sweat it out, eventually arriving after them. We also get a really great bit where Panchito and Jose give the camels their water, and then Donald naturally needs some. I”m.. i’m not giogn to questoin where theyg ot suplies or anything, again the bigger issue of “why was your mystical fast travel point in the middle of nowhere” still stands. I mean at least say it was the best she could do or it screwed up or something. Not just “whoops guess we gotta somehow get camels to get the pyramids. “ Sheldgoose and Feldrake are ahead of them, and while obviously I can’t cover EVERY single bit.. there is a TON of good banter this episode, as Kevin Micheal Richardson shows a humerous side to feldrake, constnatnly insulting Sheldgoose, rightfully so, and just in genereal being throughly hilarious. Which given I was expecting him to be a pretty 1 dimensional bad guy, It was a nice suprise. My faviorite being when they fall on a skeleton “You are useless.. not you Carla, I like you... liked you”. The point is our villians are ahead and our heroes have to get past Leopold. Xandra suggests strategy.. but Donald’s already ahead to do a Donald and yell at it, wanting revenge. Before Donald can die horribly, Xandra simply blinds him and they run inside, accidently triggering all the traps and taking out leopold. Leopold finds his master.. just in time for the Cabs to find a control room.. 

Oh.. the what has not even begun as a button Panchito presses.. sends a rocket off to the MOON. 

Yup their going there. As Feldrake explains to sheldgoose, rapidly as he dosent have the patience for it but to Sheldgoose’s credit he picks up on all of it, the pyramid is a ship, aliens built the pyramids in this universe, they  mysteriously vanished but left a city full of robot soldiers on t he moon, hence why we’re going there. 

Yeah this is GLORIOUSLY weird stuff, our heroes having to go into space to fight an army of astro-mummies and ancient robots copotped by an ancient sorcerer. Yes.. yes just.. gimmie. This is insane in the best ways. WHat’s not is that the boys can’t work the ship together as they approach the dark side of the moon... huh I wonder why the moonlanders left all this here. Questions for later.  Oh .. and theirs an astro mummy on board, forcing Panchito to reveal he’s a famous luchador and he and xandra hold him off while Jose and Donald TRY to pilot the ship but can’t translate the manual and just make things worse. Thankfully he remembers the mirror and asks the girls for help, so they put the instruction manal through a translator. 

So with our heroes subuding the mummy and having instructoins they finally encounter feldrake and sheldgoose, whose in a cool looking hood with a mask and is naturally baffled to find his idiot neighbors who screwed him over are on this spaceship with him, while Panchito asks to donald’s reply. “You ever been to a party where everyone knows everyone but you? “ “Every day of my life”. PFFT.  But the whole group notices their about to crash so the bad gys use the escape part which Xandra condems as cowardly.. before admitting that was her plan too. Thankfully the girls come through, and they land.. I mean kinda.. Donald insists on landing, but their alive so better than Jose expected.  So on the moon.. wait let me cue the approraite music. 

There we go. Scrooge is on the other side though, long story. Point is our boys disembark sharing the astromummy suit and Xandra says they need to work as a team. The.. where did this moral come from? No seriously their incompitent sure, ti’s part of their charm.. but this dosen’t reallyc ome up till the last act. Them not working together. Sure they push a lot of random buttons but this seems like they pulled a teamwork moral out of their ass, especailly since them learning to work together is a GOOD idea, it’s a classic trope for a reason teams take time to get the rythum right, it’s just sorta shohorned into an otherwise unrealted space adventure. But they soon find the bad guys have taken over a giant super robot, and have the army preparing to blast off for earth. Uh-Oh. While Xandra prepares to stand and fight the boys.. flee. 

And while this is played off as their usualy incompetence... their the right ones this time. Xandra is thor with hawkeye , the good one from the comics, aim. She is VERY powerful.. but as it bears out even she can’t take down a whole army. She can fight them well enougha nd destroys man, in a very awesome sequence reminscent of Claude from Fire Emblem three houses, been playing that lately good game, but... she’s one person. And the boys are three normal guys with no combat training in a clunky robot suit. What’d you EXPECT them to be able to do? They made the right call.. as while they ran off they also found a giant robot of their own so we get an evil sorecer versus donald duck, panchito and jose, both in giant robots on the fucking moon. 

Look at times i’m a simple man. But if you can’t enjoy donald duck and his two best friends fighting an evil sorecerer, his descedant voiced by Wayne Knight, and a donkey bat rat, with both parties in giant robots .. I don’t get you and enver will. Our heroes end up finally working together smoothly with each boy taking a leg and donald? “I’ll take the fists!”.. bad...ass. And he does and despite a tense fight our heroes win, destroy the ships and donald FUCKING UPERCUTS FELDRAKE’S MECH’S HEAD OFF AND SENDS THEM INTO SPACE. Our heroes won, relfect ont heir teamwork because apparnelty that’s the lesson and Feldrake and Sheldgoose head home, with Feldrake pointing out that those idiots being next door means their just an easier target for him. 

Fianl Thoughts; This was a fun episode. While the teamwork thing is kinda.. shoved in there everything else is just a brisque, fun and rediclous adventure episode. And this is from someone who dosen’t like the ancient aliens idea for the pyramid as it has racisim at it’s core.. but works here because clearly their just being rediclous. I didn’t even get to the flight attendant or half the jokes. This is just a really fun, charming, delightfully cheese episode. And sometimes.. that’s all you need. Unitl the next rainbow, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[tessisawriter]

The Next Step (Clayton Keller)

Request (anonymous): 24 and 33 w/ Clayton Keller

Warnings: A few sexually suggestive comments

Word Count: 1.8k

“Yes!” you said a little too loudly as your boyfriend, Clayton scored the overtime goal and secured a win for the Arizona Coyotes. Everyone in the classroom looked at you, and you quickly closed the tab that had the NHL tracker on it.

“Miss Y/LN? Is there something you would like to share with the class?” Your professor said from the front of the room.

“N-no sir,” you stammered.

He shook his head before continuing the lesson. You looked at the clock on your laptop: only five more minutes until you were free from your awful night class.

Your best friend Nicole, whose pen had laid slack on her notebook for at least a half hour, started writing urgently on a page and turned it towards you.

“Did they win?” it said.

You took the pen out of her hand and wrote back: “Yes, Clay in OT.”

She smiled, took the pen out of your hand again, and wrote, “Can’t wait to go out tonight. The usual place?” You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, which thankfully went unheard by your peers this time, and nodded.

“All right, class, next time we’ll talk about the stock market,” your professor announced, and you closed your laptop, shoved it in your bag, and jumped out of your seat. Nicole was right behind you as you scurried out of the classroom and towards the front door.

“Ugh, that was the most boring lecture yet!” you lamented as the two of you exited the building and started walking towards your car. “Why did we have to get stuck with an 8-10PM lecture?”

“Because we’re cursed,” Nicole muttered, and you laughed in response.

Your phone started to ring, and you didn’t even have to look at the screen to know it was Clayton.

“Hey, babe, great game!” you said. “And you scored the OT goal—I’m so proud of you!”

You heard Clayton chuckle on the other line. “Thanks, babe. I’m guessing you watched it on your laptop during class?”

You sighed while opening the door to the passenger’s seat of your car, Nicole already heading for the driver’s seat. She knew without even asking that you wanted to talk to Clayton. You buckled your seatbelt, gave Nicole the keys to your car, and put the phone on speaker before replying, “Guilty.”

“Babe, I love when you watch my games, but school is important.”

“But the class is so boring, and it’s late at night! Why pay attention when I can watch you?” you said as Nicole pulled out of the parking lot.

“Because you want to pass the class, right?” Clayton replied.

You gave a noncommittal grumble in response, but he laughed, knowing that you did indeed want to pass.

“I just don’t want you to get in trouble, Y/N, especially not because of me. One of these days, your professor is going to catch you and confiscate your laptop.”

“She almost got caught today,” Nicole butted in, and you glared at her for ratting you out.

You heard Clayton sigh on the other line. “Please be careful, Y/N.”

“I will! I’ll be more careful, I promise,” you said before changing the subject. “So, everyone’s going out to celebrate, right?”

“Yeah, at the usual place. Are you and Nicole meeting us there?”

“Yep, we’re already on our way.”

“You’re not driving, are you?” Clayton asked, panic in his voice.

You rolled your eyes. Clayton meant well, but he was so overprotective. “Of course not! Do you think I want to get in an accident?”

“Well, considering that you almost got caught in class today watching my game…”

“Come on, Clay, you know me: I’m responsible, especially around cars,” you asserted.

“I know,” he replied. “So I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in ten. Love you!”

“Love you, too,” Clayton replied before you hung up the phone.

“God, you guys are too cute,” Nicole said. “You even argue like an old married couple.”

“We do not!” you protested.

She giggled and stopped the car at the red light before putting her hands up in defense. “I’m just saying, Y/N, you guys are the only couple I know that I think will last past graduation.”

You smiled. You had been dating Clayton for over two years now, and your relationship was completely solid. All of your friends kept saying they thought he would propose after graduation next spring, and although you dismissed them whenever they brought it up, you secretly hoped he would. If someone had told you five years ago that you would want to get married at twenty-two, you would’ve laughed and said they were crazy, but everything changed when you met Clayton. You loved him and wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, and now that Clayton had signed an eight-year extension with the Coyotes, it felt like the timing was right.

“You’ve got that look on your face,” Nicole said with a knowing smile.

“What look?” you asked, startled.

“The look you get whenever you think about Clayton,” she said. “I’ve never seen you look so happy as you do when he’s on your mind.” Nicole was your best friend since you were in elementary school in Glendale, and you lived together in an apartment while going to college in Phoenix. When you first met Clayton and told her about him, she was initially wary, worried that as a hockey player, he would break your heart, but she quickly changed her mind.

“Really?” you said.

“Really. You get all googly-eyed and smile really big,” Nicole confirmed. “I’m not supposed to say anything, but Clayton’s going to ask you to move in with him tonight. And before you say no,” she added, noticing that you had already opened your mouth to speak, “I’m totally fine with it. My parents said they’ll pay the rent for this year.”

“Are you sure?” Clayton already asked you to move in with him last year, but you didn’t want to leave your best friend behind. She had always been there for you, and you refused to abandon her. With that said, you did want to live with Clayton for a while before getting engaged: it seemed logical for that to be the next step in your relationship.

“Positive. You’re my best friend, and I want to see you happy. Clayton does that,” she said as she pulled into a parking space that happened to be open right next to the club and put the car in park. “And we’re here.”

“Thanks, Nicki,” you said, reaching over to give her a hug. Only you were allowed to call her Nicki; if anyone else tried, they had a death wish.

“Of course,” she replied. “Now let’s get in there and find your man!”

You giggled as you got out of the car and closed the door. Nicole met you on the curb, and you wrapped your arm around her as you walked into the club.

When you arrived in the VIP area, you saw the boys were already drinking quite a bit.

“Hey, it’s Y/N and Nicki!” Jakob Chychrun shouted. You looked over at Nicole, thinking she was going to kick his ass, but she blushed and smiled at him.

“Hi, Jake,” you said to the tall blonde boy in front of you. “Where’s Clay?”

“Actually, I have no…”

Someone’s hands started tickling your sides, and you cut Jakob off with a scream. You turned around to find Clayton standing behind you. “You scared me!” you said.

“Sorry, babe, I saw an opportunity and had to take it.”

“You’re not sorry,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re right: I’m not,” he replied, leaning in to kiss you on the lips.

“Hey Nicki, do you want something to drink?” Jakob asked your best friend. While you were still in Clayton’s arms, you pulled away from the kiss and leaned your head on his shoulder in order to eavesdrop on their conversation. Jakob had a crush on Nicole for a while now, and she felt the same way about him. You were hoping he was going to finally make a move.

“I can’t drink tonight. I’m the DD,” she said.

“Okay, wanna dance instead, then?”

“Sure.” Nicole was absolutely beaming when she took Jakob’s hand, and you winked at her before she turned away.

“Yay!” you cheered when they were far enough away to not hear you.

Clayton laughed. “God, stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Nothing. I just love how much you support Nicole,” he said while wrapping his arms around your lower waist, his hands resting on your hips.

You blushed at the contact. “Are you trying to seduce me?” you asked.

“Why, is it working?” he smirked.

“You know it is!” you said, laughing before schooling your face to take on a serious expression. “But I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it, babe?” Clayton asked, a look of concern flashing across his face.

“It’s nothing bad, it’s just…Nicole said on the way over that you were going to ask me to move in with you.”

Clayton sighed. “Ugh, she wasn’t supposed to tell you! I should never have told her.”

“Actually, I’m glad you did,” you said. “The only thing that was holding me back from moving in with you last year was Nicole—I didn’t want to abandon her. But now that I know her parents are going to take care of the rent, I can rest easy.”

“Are you saying that you’ll move in with me?” Clayton asked, a grin slowly overtaking his face.

“Yes,” you replied, and Clayton picked you up and spun you around a few times before putting you down.

“Let’s go back to my…I mean, our place,” Clayton said, still grinning.

“Definitely, let me just tell Nicole we’re…” Your eyes landed on Nicole and Jakob making out on the dance floor. “On second thought,” you giggled, “I’ll text her. I don’t want to ruin the moment.”

Clayton looked over and chuckled. “Good idea. Thank God he made a move, I was getting real tired of ‘Nicole this, Nicole that,’” he said, mimicking Jakob.

You laughed. “All right, let’s get out of here. Do you need me to call an Uber?”

“Nah, I already called for one about five minutes ago; they should be here any minute,” Clayton said.

You smacked him lightly on the arm. “A little presumptuous, are we?” you joked.

“My team just won a game, my girlfriend looks absolutely gorgeous, and she agreed to move in with me. I think we both know where this night is headed,” he said.

“Oh my God, Clay! Your mom would wash your mouth out with soap if she heard you say that,” you giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Clayton said with a blasé tone, and you grabbed his hand and made your way out of the club.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Hey, can you please write something for Icy/Ogron? I dont know where that comes from...I just though of it and idk really liked it. Maybe their first kiss?

Sorry for the wait lol. Warning for drug abuse mentions. 

Also sorry for the formatting issues; idk why some letters are bolded lol.

The lights cut out and the final echos of a wailing guitar lose themselves in a fair sized crowd. They are lost further beneath a round of cheers and claps. It is an exhilarating energy. Yet Icy can’t say that she shares it. In fact she is the first to leave the stage. She takes her guitar and heads off. She is certain that Darcy and Stormy aren’t particularly pleased with this new habit of hers. 

It is better than her old habit.

Perhaps if they knew then they would understand. But she has kept things under wraps.

She probably shouldn’t have come along on the tour at all, she can hardly last a full setlist, by the end of it she is physically shaky and exhausted.  

She leans her guitar against the wall and runs a hand through her hair. God, her head hurt. She can hear Darcy making their closing statements and Stormy promising an acapella encore. The third one of the tour.

The crowds are probably getting aggravated with her for leaving the stage so early. She wonders if she should even be in the band anymore. 

Icy rummages through her purse and picks out a stick of peppermint. It does a decent job of stimulating the feeling of a cigarette between her lips, but it lacks the kick she craves. That her body craves. 

The withdrawal symptoms are tapering off, but not enough to alleviate the longing. She tries to focus in on the taste of peppermint. It is strong and potent and somehow soothing. She leans back in her chair and stares at the ceiling. 

“Hey.” 

Icy’s head snaps in the direction of the voice. 

“Sorry.” Ogron mutters. 

“I thought that you went back to your tour bus.”

“I left my wallet here somewhere, I think.”  

“And here I thought I’d get to keep it.” She reaches into her pocket and holds it up. 

“How’d your show go?” He asks as he takes the wallet. 

“Not as well as yours. Perhaps your band ought to headline instead.” 

He pulls out a chair. “Eh…” He shrugs. “Wizards Of The Black Circle isn’t as well known as The Trix.” 

“True.” She mutters her agreement. “Our band is the greatest band in the magical dimension.” But she wouldn’t mind passing the headline act to the Wizards if it means a break from the headache inducing flashing lights. “You haven’t heard, have you?”

“Heard what?” Ogron inquires.

“That the quality of our shows have been declining and that it’s my fault.” She shrugs.

“No, I haven’t heard anything of the sort. I feel like your shoes have been excellent.” He replies.

Icy gives an indignant sniff. “They have been subpar.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I have a tendency to leave stage early. It’s hard to have an encore with no guitar.”

“Why don’t you go back on then?”

“I probably shouldn’t be performing in the first place.” Icy shrugs. “That’s what my doctor says. My addiction therapist says that I should leave the rock scene entirely.” She takes a small bite if the peppermint stick. “Too many drugs here or something like that.” She is well aware that Ogron reeks of tobacco. Whether it is from his own cigarettes or the perfume of his tour bus, she can’t say.

“How long you been clean for?”

She twirls the peppermint stick between her fingers, “about a month and a half.”

“Oh so pretty recent then…” He trails off. “Gotta give you props for going on stage at all. Been a little over a year for me.” He nods. “Gantlos doesn’t make staying that way easy. I know he means well when offering me a light, but I’m worried that one of these days I’ll say yes.”

Icy nods. She supposes that Stormy’s offers have the same effect. It helps even less when Lucy and her crew blow smoke in her face and ask when she’d become such a buzzkill. “Sex drugs and rock n roll.” Lucy quoted. “You used to be fun. You used to be the most badass rocker in the industry.” Icy is almost certain that this is what her therapist meant by the rock scene being detrimental to her progress.

And perhaps Lucy’s commentary was justified after years of Icy mocking her for being new to the industry. Not that that had stopped Icy from snapping at her. She snaps at Darcy when the woman suggests that she tries to last a full show.

She goes off on most everyone for the simplest things. Her hair stylist had quit some days back.

“It gets easier the longer you’re clean.”

It sounds about right, but at the moment Icy isn’t so certain, “sure, if you say so.” She rolls her eyes.

“It does.” He insists and she decides that he is probably right. She has gone through the worst of it; the sleepless nights of sweating and inexplicable anxiety. The nausea and the unbearable headaches.

Her concentration still wavers and sleep is still hard to come by, especially when the headaches persist; even if they aren’t so intense as they were the first few days. She is irritable and edgy on most days but at least the sickly feeling has gone. At least she can take care of herself again.

“Lucy is a pain in the ass.” She grumbles.

“The front woman of Draconian Era?”

Icy nods.

“I’m sure she won’t be as unbearable when her voice is hoarse while yours is still strong.”

“I don’t do vocals.” Icy mutters, “that’s Darcy’s job.”

“Still.” Ogron shrugs. “I feel like it’s some kind of display of strength and power to resist the cravings.”

Icy almost laughs. So the man knew what to say to get her to see his point. “I do like power…”

She isn’t sure why she hasn’t talked to him more before tonight.

“I’ve heard.” He chuckles. “Weren’t you trying to take over the world before this?”

Icy nods.

“So how do three witches go from conquerors to rockstars?”

“The same way that evil fairy hunters do, I imagine. Honestly having a large fandom is close enough to having subjects.” Icy finishes her peppermint stick. “They do what I tell them to; I say sing along, they do. I say clap, they clap. I’ve gotten my fans to buy my drinks and carry my guitar. That’s close enough to taking over the world for me.”

“Brilliant.” Ogron laughs, “I wish I thought of that.”

She catches him looking at his watch. She can feel the headache coming on anyhow and realizes that she is well overdue for a cup of tea. That usually helps with the pounding.

“Hey, well, we can chat more before the show tomorrow” he offers, “maybe go out for drinks…or lunch.”

“Sure.” Icy says.

He leans over and kisses her forehead. “Night.” He gives her a small salute and begins walking away.

She lets him walk a few paces before deciding that she doesn’t want to spend another night alone–not that she hasn’t requested such and left Darcy and Stormy in a separate hotel room. “Come to the tour bus with me?” She requests.

Ogron pauses. “I guess I can use a break from cigarette smoke and Duman’s sexcapades. "Let me just tell the guys.”

“Works for me.” Icy replies. “Going to the hotel separate will probably spare us some headlines anyhow.”

[theblankpagebxforeyou]

Trust: Chapter 1

Pairing(s): Negan x Reader Prompt from @smilingdrunkard​: I love the idea of the reader being a badass saviour who not only has Negan's trust but they have this close relationship where they flirt and joke around and just enjoy the other's company. The reader doesn't want to be another wife so she rejects him even though they both care a lot about each other. They are very protective of each other. So do what you want with this i guess. Maybe a run or someone kidnapped the reader or problems at the sanctuary. Summary: Before the initial outbreak you were Marine, and after the outbreak, you’re a Marine at the Sanctuary. You are one of the few people that can call Negan a friend. You trust him, and he you. You have an interesting relationship with him. It’s more than friends but less than partners. You don’t want to be part of his trophy wife collection, but you still care about him.  After a night of drinking with him, it leaves you to wonder can you trust him like you thought you could? Reader Gender: Female Word Count:  3675 Warnings: Sexual tension, implied rape (none described)

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, even though it took forever, I have plans for more chapters, I have so many ideas for this one, that a simple one shot is not enough. It’s going to get angsty and dark and deal with some serious themes, but rest assured they will be dealt with. I hope you like it. There will be more to come. 

Ch.2

“Do you know why you haven’t hit that target yet? Because you hold your gun like a bitch, that’s why!” you berated the Savior in front of you. You scrubbed your face in annoyance, some people took to using firearms and others didn’t, he didn’t seem like he was taking ot it at all. You adjusted his grip on the gun and the male looked a little bitter but he didn’t say anything. The Savior next to him snickered and you pivoted, “Boy, you haven’t hit that bullseye once, you went through two magazines, I don’t know what the fuck you’re laughing at, your girlfriend isn’t amused either son, If you miss her bullseye, like you’re missing this one, she’s gonna be Negan’s next wife.”

 You saw his shoulders stiffen and he started to say something, you stared at him and arched an eyebrow. His mouth opened but behind you, you heard Negan’s chuckle, right before he let out a low whistle. His mouth snapped shut, but you wished he would have said whatever it was, so you could put him on his ass. It was hard for most of them to hear through the gunshots, but after a moment the gunshots slowed to a halt. You knew he was coming to check your progress.

 You had been a Marine Sergeant and while you’d always been useful to Negan, you suggested training the other Saviors on PROPER firearm use. Afterall, you didn’t want someone watching your back that didn’t know how to use a gun properly. You made that suggestion to him after one of them clipped your shoulder with a bullet.

 The other Saviors knelt you just pivoted to face Negan, you kept a stern look on your face even though he was grinning like a Cheshire cat, “If you’re looking for more guys, the three on the end over there are done, they’re good, that jackass over there,” you jerked your thumb to the man’s face you’d just been in, “Give me another week with him and the one next to him...might be better off as a worker,” you worked in small batches, it was easier to give them one on one attention, they’d be better for it.

 “Good to know, but I was looking for you,” Negan told you.

 “Sir?” you quirked an eyebrow.

 The grin spread wider across his face, and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, stepping mere inches from you,“You know I love it when you call me,Sir.”

 Your eyes did briefly drop from his eyes to his mouth before you cracked and laughed shoving him playfully, “You’re fuckin’ nasty.”

“You fuckin’ love it,” he countered laughing, “That’s why you did it.”

 “Maybe,” you smirked at him, before becoming a little more serious, “So what’s up?”

 “Come on Darlin’, walk with me,” he gestured.

 You nodded, “Anderson, take over for me,” you called out to a small yet muscular unassuming blonde haired blue eyed kid.

 “Ma’am, Yes, Ma’am,” you liked him, he’d been in the Army, but nobody’s perfect. Negan told you several times in multiple colorful ways that the boy was enamored with you. You trusted him, he’d often teach them in your stead. You didn’t even have to look back as you followed Negan out.

 “I think he listens to you faster than he listens to me,” Negan snorted, as you fell into step next to him “Got that boy on a leash.”

 You suspected the reason he screwed with you so much about him was because he was jealous. You didn’t poke fun of him about that too much, you didn’t want him to take it out on Anderson.

 “What the fuck are you talking about Negan? I got you on that same leash,” you smirked wide.

 “Excuse the fuck outta me?” Negan stopped and pivoted in front of you. There was a half smile on his face and his head tilted to the side. Most people would be afraid of that look from him.

 “Did I stutter?” you challenged.

 “Girl, don’t make me put you over my knee,” he snorted.

 You rolled your eyes, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

 “Anytime you want, all you gotta do is say so,” He grinned and as you walked out of eyeshot of the others he put arm around your shoulders, “Simon found a new settlement about ten miles Northwest of here, he said they all seemed very...accommodating...too accommodating, we’re going to pay them a visit, hand pick me a team and you and Simon are with me.”

 You nodded, suppressing an annoyed eye roll. You weren’t a fan of Simon, Simon was...well...creepy to put in bluntly. Something about him just set you completely of kilter. He always had a predatory look in his eyes when he looked at you. You tolerated him because Negan trusted him. That was the only reason that and technically Simon was higher ranking than you, technically. You got away with a lot more than most people did with Negan. You knew it, Simon knew it, everyone knew it, not everyone was happy about it either, Simon included.

“Work, work work,” you said dramatically.

 “Well, if you’d stop fuckin’ around and marry me you wouldn’t have to work,” he said as a matter of factly.

 You rolled your eyes, time and time again he brought it up, sometimes in a light hearted way, sometimes in a very serious way, “But I do like to get my hands dirty,” you replied, “And it would be SUCH a waste for me to sit around and be useless all day,I’m not really that kinda girl Negan, you know it, and so do I.”

 For a moment you saw him soften, “Naw, you’d never be useless.”

 Sometimes you saw a side of him no one else did, the real him under all that arrogance and bravado. You also saw him the moment those walls went right back up when he realized he was in public. You quirked a slight smile and nudged him lightly but changed the subject, “How many people do you want on the team?”

 “Ten people and we’re leaving tomorrow morning at eleven am,” he replied.

 You nodded, “Let me get to work on putting together a team, and then a shower because I’m pretty gross right now,” you told him with a snort.

 “Yeah, you are pretty fucking gross,��� he smirked.

 You shoved him and he laughed, “Shut the fuck up,” you couldn’t help but laugh too.

 “What? I think it’s kinda hot,” he smirked wider, “I like my women dirty.”

 “Yeah I bet you do, and I like my men without The Clap,” you shot back.

“Fuck you,” he replied immediately.

 “You wish I would, but there isn’t enough antibiotics left in the world,”

 He stopped dead in his tracks again, and once again he was blocking your path. This time his face looked serious, his gloved hand cupped your jaw, “One of these days you’re gonna start talkin’ to me with damned respect.”

 You didn’t flinch, but you mirrored his serious look, “One of these days you’re gonna make me,” you replied.

 A slow smile spread across his face, you could tell he wasn’t serious. He almost never was with you. There were times when you pushed his buttons the wrong way. It was usually when you put yourself in danger or when he was already in a shit mood and you challenged something he said, “Maybe I fuckin’ will,” the back of his hand brushed over your cheek, and he had a particular look in his eye that made your heart pound in your chest, but it also let you know you needed end this conversation.

 You kept eye contact with him, only lowering your head slightly to widen your peripheral view, making sure there was no one around before you pulled his hand gently from your face and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. His arms immediately wrap tightly around you pressing your small frame against himself. You clear your throat, “Negan...I’ve got work to do, wouldn’t want the boss to get pissy.”

 Negan’s arms fall away from you, recognizing the comment for what it was. A gentle indication that he’d gotten a bit too serious. You guys teased and flirted but you weren’t going to be just another trophy for his shelf, another notch in his belt, but you wanted him, and he knew it. He also knew you’d already told him no, and he respected that, whereas most women he’d feel slighted and become intolerable until they said yes. He wouldn’t be him, however, if he didn’t test his limits from time to time.

 “Nah, you definitely wouldn’t want that, that guy’s a fuckin’ dick,” Negan smirked a little but the light hearted demeanor was gone for the moment. Hurt, it was the only way you could describe it. He’d told you once that he wasn’t so upset at you for rejecting him, maybe a little frustrated, but not upset, he was upset with himself for not being able to be the kind of man you wouldn’t reject.

 “Only because he wants to be,” you replied seriously, it was time to step away. This change in mood was another thing that could lead to an argument with him. Once he started to get genuinely upset he could turn into a real dick, just because his feelings were hurt. You already figured out it was only because he wasn’t used to having feelings anymore, “Tomorrow morning 1100 hours,” you confirmed.

 He simply nodded his jaw tightening a little, but he was quiet now. It was definitely time to go before he verbalized whatever he was mulling around in his head. You felt like you should say something, that you needed to derail whatever train of thought he was having but you didn’t know what to say. You just quickly retreated back to your room letting Anderson finish up the training.

 If you weren’t grateful for anything else Negan did, (which you were of course) the hot water was worth all the praise in the world. You washed all the days muck and grime off of yourself.  You ran your fingers through tangled hair, grumbling in annoyance. You let it grow because Negan wanted you too, otherwise you’d have shaved it like you had in the Military, but honestly you didn’t know what to do with it and usually just kept it pulled up and out of your face, until Negan took pity on you and brushed it for you. You suspected he did it so you wouldn’t get fed up and shave it off. You got out of the shower and dried off, stuffing a comb in your pocket planning on making him deal with the nest on your head after you gathered a team together. Moreover, after you have Anderson put one together for you. It didn’t take long for you to talk to Anderson, he was rattling off nine other names to you already and you nodded in approval.

 That went quicker than expected, you knew you liked Anderson for a reason. You hoped you’d given Negan time to get over his little funky mood. You sought him out finding him walking next to Simon from what it sounded like he was going over what they were doing tomorrow. You didn’t look at Simon even though you could feel his annoyed stare as you fell in step on the opposite side of Negan silently.

 “We’re busy,” Simon said immediately. Negan’s head slowly turned to look at Simon and quirk an eyebrow. He was well aware the two of you didn’t like each other. Your petty squabbles annoyed the shit out of him you knew. You decided you didn’t even need to say anything to him, considering it looked like Negan was going to handle that for you.

 “Simon, I’ve already gone over it with her, Who do you think is picking out our team?” he said carefully. He had to have known that would ruffle Simon’s feathers, “Is that a problem for you?” he said very carefully in a manner that certainly indicated that Simon better say no. Simon cleared his throat and looked straight ahead grinding his teeth, “No, sir, I’ll see you in the morning, Y/N.” Negan’s gaze followed Simon as he retreated, and finally his eyes fell back on you. He took you in a moment then smirked, “Your hair?” “Yeah…I mean if it’s inconvenient for you, I could always shave it,” you shrugged.

 He shot you a look, his eyes narrowing, “Don’t you fuckin’ think about it, come on you little shit.”

 You smiled up at him nudging him with your shoulder as he lead you to his room, “But me and Regina could have matching haircuts, we’d be twins.”

 His head swiveled to you his eyebrows raising up high, “You’d have to do a lot of Meth before you ever looked like Regina.” You choked on air as he held the door open for you, reaching out to smack his arm, “That’s fuckin’ terrible.” Negan grinned wide moving to pour a few drinks before he held out his hand. You produced the comb for him and sat down in a chair. He put a drink in your hand and set to work on your hair.

 “You know if you’d stop leaving your hair pulled back in a fucking bun it wouldn’t tangle like this,” he bitched. Surprisingly though, he always gently combed through your hair like he’d done it thousands of times.

 Originally it had been a joke. Negan bitched at you for keeping your hair so short, and you told him you’d only let it grow if he was the one brushing it. You didn’t expect him to agree. You couldn’t back out after that, you tried but he held you to those words. You’d like to think you didn’t know why you even took into consideration his opinions on your appearance, however, you know why you did. You valued his opinion a little too much sometimes. In the process of growing out your hair, in that awkward faze in between your hair being too short to be pulled back but just long enough to stick out awkwardly from under a hat, Negan had teased you about it. It took him a good three hours to sweet talk you out of shaving it all off again. He kept his mouth shut about that awkward faze after that. The first time he brushed the tangles out of your hair you were surprised at how deftly his hands worked. He was oddly gentle. You’d asked him why it seemed like he’d done this before and he simply answered that he had. It took you awhile to figure it out. He’d once told you about his wife Lucille, he was drunk...you thought you were probably the only one to see him absolutely shit faced nowadays. You realized though, he probably had combed out Lucille’s hair for her when she was too sick to do it herself. That was when you realized it was more intimate of an act than it would seem. You closed your eyes humming contently, it was the only thing you liked about having your hair longer. You liked your hair being played with. Before you realized it he was running his hands through your hair. You didn’t realize what he was doing until you felt the braid hit your shoulder.  You tilted your head back to look up at him and he shrugged in response, you in turn also shrugged and drained the liquid in the glass. He refilled it as soon as it hit the table.

 This went on for a while, you two drank and passed stories back and forth.

 “Private Abrams, man, good kid, a lot of potential, I remember this, this one time we were in Afghanistan, we were just escorting some supplies and we were waiting for it to be unloaded and suddenly he turned to me and he goes, Hey, Sarge, is there something on my back? And he turns...and I swear to God, it’s the biggest Camel spider I have ever seen...have you seen those fuckers?”

 Negan was leaning forward listening to you talk, the barest hint of a smile on his face. You were trashed, he wasn’t too drunk, perhaps a little tipsy. It wasn’t because you couldn’t hold your liquor, you in fact could drink a grizzly under the table. Negan didn’t often get too drunk because in his position it was dangerous, if he was drunk, you were sober. He trusted you enough to be drunk around you.

 “Can’t say that I have,” Negan replied.

 “Those fuckers, those...little demonic….big demonic shits...they’re these big ass spider things, and they used to tell use they’d eat us whole in our sleep, that it’s venom numbed the area so it could eat you, turns out it wasn’t true, but back then we believed that shit,” you explained your words a bit rambly and slurred, “This one was about...eight inches wide, just chilling on him, he was in the shade, it really just wanted to keep cool, but like you know then I thought it wanted to eat his face off, and I didn’t want to freak him out so I shook my head and was like ‘noooo’ there’s nothin’ on you man, Bless his heart he believed me, and I waited for a bit, because the thing wasn’t moving, I pulled out my knife and slowly reached out when he wasn’t looking and flung the fucker off his back,” you were laughing now, “I swear to God, he jumped up about five feet off the ground and clung to the back of the supply truck screaming like an elementary schooler, so it runs towards me, and he’s trying to aim his rifle at it while he’s holding onto the truck and I’m shouting at him telling him not to shoot because I know he’s going to miss and hit me, Now my Corporal Kelly, he comes over to see what all the commotion was, and all he sees Abrams with his gun aimed towards me and immediately grabs him by the ankle and yanks him hard off the side of the truck, he hits the ground and Abrams is freaking the fuck out because now he’s on the ground with that thing, Kelly is tearing into him and Abrams can’t get a word in edgewise to explain. The spider had ran towards Kelly now, trying to get into someone’s shadow, and now Abrams is pointing and I swear he was hyperventilating, and the Corporal turns sees what he’s pointing at, picks the damned thing up by one of it’s legs and drops the bitch onto the Private. He practically shit himself, and then passed out. Kelly was a bit of a dick, almost always good to me but...argued a lot, if he wasn’t such a damned fine Marine, I would have had his ass for it but...he was good at what he did.”

 He fed you more liquor and as he offered you took it. He only stopped offering when you drunkenly ended up in his lap, straddling his hips. His breathing was strained, and his resolve was tested, as you nuzzled and kissed at his neck. Drunk you thought it was a marvelous idea to sleep with Negan. Much to his credit, he lifted you from his lap after a few moments and set you back on your feet.

 “Now any other time, I’d take you up on that offer, Y/N you know that…” he muttered.

 There were very few women he respected enough to turn down the offer. Especially when he very clearly wanted to. Drunk you however, was insulted.

 “Oh suuuurreee,” you slurred out, “Talkin’ all this shit, and when it comes down to it you pussy out,” you narrowed your eyes at him.

 Negan drew in a deep breath and let it out again, his jaw tightening, “Y/N, you need to go to bed.”

 “All this talk about marriage you only want to get in my pants anyway, so put your money where your mouth is,” you shoved at his arm.

 Had you been sober you’d have seen the mounting irritation but he held his temper, “Now you know damn well that’s not the only reason I wanna marry you,” he moved towards you, “Come on, you need to sleep it off, I’ll put you in my bed.”

 You drew away from him, your eyes narrowing at him as if he’d insulted your ancestors, unable to see at the moment how respectful he was actually being, “Oh really? Why else huh? Same reason why you married all those other bitches, so you could screw them and no one else could.”

 You woke up in a cold sweat feeling like you’d been hit by a Mack Truck. Your head throbbed, your stomach rolled and the room spun. You eyed your clock, it was eight am. There were a few other concerning things you noticed. You hadn’t a clue how you got back to your room, you were missing your pants but still wore the same shirt and you were sore. You felt like you’d had unnecessarily rough sex. Suddenly you were mortified, you couldn’t remember but apparently at some point you managed to break Negan’s resolve. You sighed, it certainly wasn’t how you’d have wanted it to happen if it were to.

 You stumbled into the bathroom, tugging off your shirt but catching your reflection in the mirror you froze. You had bruises around your neck and along one of your right collar bone. You looked down at yourself and found bruising along your wrists and thighs. You frowned filling the tub up with hot water, you still had time for a nice soak in the bathtub to soothe your aches and pains.

[nhllandy]

Self Doubt with Mikko Rantanen

Translations - 

Tyttö = babe

Minä rakastan sinua = i love you

for @mikkorants96 - hope you enjoy :)

It’s always stressful when the Avs play the Minnesota Wild, I mean they are in the same division and there is a little bit of a rivalry there after last year. Mikko on the other hand, loves it. Sometimes it concerns you how competitive he gets on the ice, but maybe that’s just what makes him such a good player.

As usual, you sit in the section with all the other Wives and Girlfriends, even though you don’t really like to. They can be a little… um… bitchy? And you really don’t feel like you fit in with them, but what are you supposed to do? Go sit by yourself to cheer on Mikko?

They are all scrawny and blonde and curl their hair and this and that, not to mention the way they dress at games. They are all wearing skinny jeans and high heels and fur coats and usually sporting a gucci purse or something. Not you though, no matter what, you always stick to leggings and your no. 96 jersey.

HONKKK, a giant horn goes off signifying the end of the third period even though the teams are tied at four. For the past two and a half hours you have been biting off all your fingernails and your ass is numb from sitting on the edge of the seat the whole time. Mikko already has 2 goals, so you’re proud of him no matter what.

But overtime ? OVERTIME ? you hate ot, you get way too invested into the game and then usually end up pissed off when they lose. Mikko loves how much you love the game tho.

The horn goes off again to start the 5 minutes of sudden death hockey. All the other girls you’re sitting with have finally decided to get off their phones and watch for once, but you know they are judging how much you are yelling, oh well.

The first three out for each team have a couple of good looks, but no result yet. Then the next three and the next three and the next. All of a sudden, there is only 51 seconds left before a dreaded shootout. Mikko rushes onto the ice and it couldn’t have been better timed. Kerf dishes him the puck and he is in behind all the Wild players, just him, Dubnyk, and the clock.

He takes off down the ice and even from your seat, you can see Mikko trying to concentrate and sticking out his tongue. You are jumping up and down at this point, and at least some of the WAGs are standing up now.

He approaches Dubnyk and fakes to one side as he tucks it into the net with one hand. The goal light flashes and the place goes crazy. Music is blaring, hats are flying, Gabe basically tackles Mikko as you get a nudge and smile from Mel, one of the few wives you actually like. Mikko Rantanen, your boyfriend, has just scored the OT winner against none other than the Minnesota Wild AND finished off his hat trick.

As soon as the guys skate off, all the girls head down to the locker room. As your walking through the concourse you hear them announcing the three stars.

“And tonight’s first star, with 3 goals and the OT winnerrrrrrrrrrrr, Mikko Rantanen!”

You blush a little and it’s evident that none of the other girls are paying that much attention. You hear his slightly broken english then people cheering. Ugh he’s just so cute and you can’t wait to see him. Mikko is usually in a mood when they win games, like a really really good mood… which kind of… puts you in… some kind of mood… ugh, now you really really can’t wait to see him, and his beautiful blonde hair, just out of the shower, and after games he always wears a hoodie but without a shirt underneath and like OH BOY and his shimmering blue eyes, the way he looks at you in an irresistible sense - You are quickly snapped back to reality as fans start flooding the concourse. Stepping off of the escalator and towards the locker room. All the guys have the biggest smile when they see their beautiful girlfriends and a little part of you can’t believe Mikko looks at you like that.

Mikko hates it, but you say all the time that you don’t deserve him. He usually ends up rolling his eyes and shutting you up by putting his lips on yours. “If anything I don’t deserve you baby,” says Mikko, “I play fortnite almost as much as I play hockey, and I can’t even cook for myself.” He smiles, trying to lighten the mood.

You don’t like getting down on yourself  around him, but it’s hard not to. How did someone like you, end up with someone like him? He could do so much better, you tell yourself.

You’re zoning out in your thought as Mikko comes racing around the corner, still in his undershirt and everything but his skates. Like Mikko is actually running, a huge smile on his face, like a kid turned loose in a candy store. He zooms over to you and literally sweeps you off your feet. You are snapped out of your self-doubt but there are still some lingering thoughts, mostly fueled by the dirty looks you are getting from the girls. However, you are still really happy for Mikko and you hug him and giggle as he spins you through the air.

“(y/n) DID YOU SEE THAT!” He screams and it echoes through the entire hallway.

You think it’s adorable because he asks you that after every. Single. Game. even though you are at every. Single. Game.

“Yes Meeks! You were amazing!” You smile at him, ugh those blue eyes “but I must say, I prefer hugging you after you’ve showered.” Even though secretly you loved him all sweaty and riled up but you preferred when you are the one that makes him sweaty and riled up, not hockey ;)

“Okay okay, sorry tyttö, I’ll go shower,” he takes off back to the locker room, “I’ll be fast!” He yells as he disappears.

You can’t help but smile, and slowly you get sucked back into  your own mind.

Why are all of them looking at me like that? What did I do? They think they are better than me and it’s not fair. But, maybe they are right. I mean I’m not blonde, I can’t remember the last time I curled my hair or spent longer than 10 minutes on make-up. I’m not the most in-shape out of these girls, I can’t really rock high-heels. Oh god, What the hell does Mikko even see in me?

At this point you are starting to get visibly upset and Mel comes over to ask if you’re okay.

“Hey doll, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing nothing, just some stress at work.”

As much time as Gabe and Mikko spend together, you and Mel have become like best friends. She basically knows you better than you know yourself. Gabe walks out of the locker room, exhausted but with a smile on his face. He walks up and puts an arm around Mel.

“Hey (y/n), sweet game huh?” Says Gabe with a grin.

“Yeah, nice job! I’m sure Mikko appreciates the assists.” You smile

“Pff,” he scoffs, “He better, I should’ve been the number one star,” He jokes and nudges you just like Mel did earlier, “But hey, we’ll see you around.”

He starts to walk off but Mel leans into your ear and whispers, “He loves you for you, never ever forget that sweetie.”

You smile graciously at her and then wave goodbye, now back to waiting for Mikko. You lean against the wall, not anywhere near the rest of the WAGs and occupy yourself with your phone, mindlessly scrolling through Insta.

Time passes rather slowly, you see a couple guys come out and they wave or smile at you. It seems a little messed up that the guys are cooler to you than their girlfriends but hey it’s whatever, you’ve always been a little bit of a tomboy.

After what feels like 8 years, Mikko comes around the corner but you don’t notice because your back is to him. He slowly wraps his arms around your waist and takes a deep breath. You feel so safe in his arms, there is nowhere else you’d rather be right now.

You close your eyes and take it all in for a minute before you say anything.

“Let’s go home, babe.” You say softly

He lets out a big breath before letting go but leaving his arm around you.

As you are walking out the last couple WAGs waiting for the guys look you up and down without saying a word. You immediately snap back into your previous mindset of self doubt. Slightly leaning into Mikko, you walk quietly to the car.

Mikko walks to the passenger side of the car and opens your door like always. After walking around and getting in the driver seat he asks if you are okay.

“Yeah,” you trail off, “just tired, I guess.” Mikko notices something is wrong, so he just drops it.

“Well don’t worry Tyttö, I’ll get you home soon.” He puts his hand on your thigh, slowly moving his thumb back and forth. Music is playing quietly in the background as you stare out the window. Mikko tries to cheer you up on the way home but he can tell that you are not in any mood for it.  

The two of you pull into the driveway of your shared condo but you don’t wanna deal with anything right now so you tell Mikko that you will just meet him inside. He gives a soft look, but he knows that you need to be alone sometimes and he respects that. You really don’t deserve him.

As soon as you see the front door close and Mikko disappear, you burst into tears. You’re not sure why this is happening, but you completely lose control. You have been holding this in since the end of the game and now here you are, sobbing uncontrollably.  You hate the way you look, but you hate having Mikko reassure you all the time so you usually just keep it to yourself. This happens every once in a while, but usually it’s when Mikko is on the road. You always compare yourself to other women, especially the other WAGs. It’s so hard not to, come on, you are dating a professional athlete! An NHL all star!

Taking a deep breathe after crying for a couple minutes, you put your hands over your face and look up. Once you move your hands, you see the front door open and Mikko poke his head out to check on you. Upon realizing that you are crying, he runs out the door and down the driveway.

He opens the passenger side door and crouches down next to you as you continue to cry. He rubs your leg and whispers, “(y/n), baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

The tears start rushing out again and you turn into Mikko’s chest, really letting it all out this time. He opens his arms and accepts it. Mikko runs his hand up and down your back, trying his best to support you. He knows that you doubt yourself sometimes, but this is the first time he has seen you really breakdown like this.

After slowing down a little bit, Mikko tightens his grip and lifts you onto your feet and out of the car. Now standing, he picks you up. One hand under your back and one hand under your legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head against his chest. He carries you inside, still barely crying, and he sets you down on the floor. Right in the entrance of your condo is a hallway and Mikko leans you against the wall, runs up stairs to grab you a blanket, then joins you on the floor.    

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Mikko, why me?”

“What do you mean, Tyttö?”

“Out of all the girls in the world, why would you choose to go out with me?”

“(y/n), I love you so much. I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.” He grabs your chin so that you are looking up at him through the tears. “You are everything I could’ve ever wanted. I mean, (y/n), come on! You love to watch hockey, you’re gorgeous, you’re hilarious, you’re sexy (he says as he looks you up and down), you’re adorable when you yell at the refs, you chirp other guys with me, ugh, Minä rakastan sinua.”

“But I’m not like any of the other girls that go to the games, I’m not blonde or -” Mikko cuts you off by kissing you softly.

“Tyttö, I don’t want any of those girls. I want you. I don’t want some fake blonde that doesn’t know anything about hockey. I want a girl that is proud to wear my number and looks good doing it! I want someone who loves me and someone that, um, I can be Mikko around.”

At this point you feel a smile starting to tug at your lips and you’re slightly grinning, looking up at him.

“Ahhhh that’s it! The smile I love!” Hearing this just makes you smile more, Mikko makes everything better. Now with a full smile, Mikko jumps up and puts his hand out to help you. He pulls you up and into a tight hug. He starts swaying back and forth with you in his arms.

“OH!” Mikko screams, startling you, “sorry baby, hahah I didn’t mean to scare you but we need some music!”

“Hey Alexa, play Count On Me by Bruno Mars,” he says across the room

The two of you sway to the cute, happy song as you lean against his chest, taking in the moment. This went from such a terrible night to one of the best nights you’ve ever had with Mikko.

He is rubbing the back of your head and trailing his fingers through your hair, when you can feel him smile and start to giggle.

“What’s up, Meeks?”

“(y/n), you are the love of my life, ya know that?”

[hazyheel]

Monday Night Raw 5/20/19 Review

We opened with Heyman and Lesnar, who still has that briefcase for some reason. Apparently the two planned this when they saw Zayn beat Strowman on Raw last week. And I guess Lesnar was actually in that match, because of some negotaitions backstage, and I’m glad they addressed it. Heyman cut a really good promo about how both world champions should be paranoid. Seth Rollins then came out. Rollins insulted Lesnar for being a terrible champion. He challenged Lesnar to cash in the contract now, which Heyman desperately tried to stop from happening. But Heyman basically just said that it wouldn’t happen, because Rollins is on their time. Heyman kinda insulted Rollins by saying that he didn’t main event Wrestlemania while his girlfriend, Becky Lynch, did. I didn’t know they were dating, so that was lovely to hear. I’m a sucker for wrestling couples. Anyway, Heyman said that Lesnar may cash in on Kofi as well, because Rollins isn’t worthy of being in the ring with Lesnar. Kingston came out, and said that he doesn’t mind fighting Lesnar, and even challenged him. Heyman said that since both champions were asking Brock for a match, which kinda makes him more important than both titles. He didn’t cash in, but he said that he might at any point in the night.

Backstage, Kingston and Rollins talked to Triple H about what they’d be doing later, which was them teaming up for the main event against Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. Ugh.

Grade: B. Super good promo, but it didn’t actually give us anything new. I always love to hear Heyman on the mic, and I like that dynamic where Brock is so important that both champions want to fight him. Its interesting. Honestly, Brock having the title is exciting, because he is an exciting talent. I want to see where this ends up going. Personally, I think Kofi is gonna get his ass beat by Lesnar, because he has a fairytale story that is worth ruining to get Brock over more. Hopefully, that’ll be later rather than sooner.

Then we had Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn. Zayn ran away before the match could even start. They brawled a bit backstage, and Zayn got his ass beat. Strowman was face to face with Bobby Lashley, but they did not come to blows. Strowman literally carried Zayn back to the ring. Zayn kinda had the advantage by the time the match actually started, but Strowman flattened him and hit a running powerslam for the win.

Grade: B+. This whole segment was super fun. Zayn’s acting here, where he was just ridiculously terrified of Bruan was entertaining. I am not usually into this, but the way that Sami sold everything was pretty funny. I don’t think they should make a habit of this kind of thing, but this was good in isolation.

Lars Sullivan then had an interview, which before I even heard I felt was detrimental to his character. Charly seemed really scared, which was good, and then we saw a video package of him since his debut. Charly asked about his goals, but the Lucha House party came out ot interrupt him. They wanted to fight him, and the three of them together were actually able to beat him to the ground. However, one on one he had an advantage. He was able to outlast each other them by waiting for the team to split up and he attacked them one at a time. Sullivan was able to stand tall once again, although not in as dominant a way as at Money in the Bank.

Grade: B-. A discount version of last night, with the added dynamic of the Lucha House Party being able to take down Sullivan when they worked together. But given that I saw it literally last night, I am gonna be a bit harsher.

Next up was Ricochet vs. Cesaro. Cesaro had a new entrance that was very generic. The match happened because Cesaro called Ricochet weak for having his back hurt in the ladder match last night. So naturally Cesaro worked over the back. At one point, Ricochet literally jumped onto Cesaro’s shoulders and then backflipped off of him.  That is insane control from both guys. Ricochet hit an awesome suicide dive, but the spot was kinda ruined by the commercial for the secret life of pets ad. Cesaro was able to get the win here with a neutralizer.

Grade: B-. Not a lot of time here, but some pretty good spots. I think that they can do great stuff together if they are given some faith.

Backstage, Charly interviewed AJ Styles about his loss, and he was pretty humble about his loss. Corbin then showed up and they trash talked back and forth, and it ended with AJ slapping Corbin. Corbin just said that he would pay for that, and then the segment just ended.

Roman Reigns then had a promo, but before he could even start, Shane McMahon came out to confront him. Shane said that he was totally done with the Miz, and he said that he was still pissed about how Reigns attacked Vince a while ago. Reigns then said that he wanted to fight Shane tonight, but Shane refused. Instead, Drew McIntyre came out, and just sorta stood next to Shane for the rest of the promo. However, he then said that he accepted the challenge for Super Showdown.

Grade: D+. This was really boring, and they teased McIntyre vs. Reigns (I still have hope that it’ll be good sometime) and then didn’t give it to us. Figured Reigns vs. Shane would happen at some point, but it will proabably suck unless they give it a stip.

Backstage, McIntyre and Shane were walking around backstage, and Miz confronted them. McIntyre kinda said that he would protect Shane, and then Miz challenged McIntyre.

Next up was the Usos vs. The Revival. Wilder jumped Jimmy before the bell, and then beat the living crap out of him. Jey got a huge hot tag and beat down both heels. Jey and Dawson slugged it out in the middle of the ring at one point, culminating in a double superkick and a near fall. On the outside, Wilder nailed Jimmy with a tornado DDT, and then Wilder got hit with a vicious suicide dive.

Grade: B. Almost a B+, but not quite competitive enough. This really is a dream match, and I cannot wait to see them actually able to cut loose. I want to see them pull off a really good match. For now though, this was the match of the night.

Backstage, Alexa Bliss confronted Nikki Cross about losing the ladder match last week. And then the Revival came in and were being annoying, and then the segment ended.

Then came the firefly funhouse, and all it was was the themsong glitching out a bit.

Then was a moment of Bliss, with Nikki Cross as the guest, as well as Becky Lynch. Lynch was over as hell in this venue. Cross just stood there awkwardly as they talked. Before Lynch could say anything, the Iconics came out. They said she was Becky One Belt, which is still better than most can say. Lynch wasn’t having any of their BS, and actually challenged them to a match for the Women’s Tag Team Championship. Lacey Evans came out and was being mean, and Becky said that she already beat Evans with only half her attention. She then challenged Evans and the Iiconics to a six woman tag. Cross volunteered to be on Lynch’s team, and Becky said that Alexa would also join. Alexa tried to protest, but Lynch told her to stand around and look pretty. I laughed out loud.

Grade: B+. Not quite an A- because it was a little too crowded, and everyone else brought the quality down, but Becky was sure as hell on point during this. She was tough, she was funny, and it felt like one of her twitter wars. I missed this Becky

In the actual match, Nikki Cross was in the ring a little bit, but really was only fighting so that Becky could get a hot tag. Evans immediately left when Becky got in the ring. She beat the crap out of the Iiconics, and she beat them with a top rope leg drop. Bliss and Cross celebrated in the ring, but Lynch just walked out and held her title high

Grade: D. I was going to grade this and the promo at the same time, but this match sucked. The only reason that it got some points in my book was that Becky really shined, and there were some funny moments, like Alexa just drinking coffee on the outside and one point when Becky hit Billie Cay really hard, and Royce yelled her named, followed immediately by a huge “oof” because Becky Knocked her off the apron. Funny, but not good.

Then we had Mick Foley with a huge announcement: the next title in the WWE. He talked about what being a champion meant, and then he brought out the 24/7 title, which is basically a neutered version of the hardcore championship. The crowd knew that too, and they booed. He resorted to saying the name of the city to get a pop.

The inaugeral champion was crowned by a scramble for the belt, and a bunch of the lower card guys ran down to try to get it. Corey was gonna run out and get it, but Cole and Renee told him to sit down. This was just wild and stupid fun, nothing of note really happened. Titus was able to grab it, so he is the first champion. But then Robert Roode ran out and rolled him up, so Robert Roode won it.

Grade: B-. I don’t think the smark in me can give this any higher than a B-. But I loved this to death. It was so dumb and awesome. The promo kinda flopped when it wasn’t the hardcore championship, and I genuinely don’t think that this belt is worth anything, but it is kinda a kick in the ass that will make me want to watch. I think that it’ll be less exciting then the Hardcore championship given the lack of weapon shots to the face and head, but it’ll still be stupid fun.

Next match was Miz vs. McIntyre. I don’t know why this match took place in the dark, but they changed the logo mid show and it made the stadium look a bunch darker. Miz desperately fought against his bigger opponent, trying to take him out at the knees but not really standing much of a chance. Miz continued to work the knee and eventually locked in the figure four for a submission sequence. Miz tried to attack Shane on the outside, but Shane ran away, which allowed him to run back and attack him when the ref’s back was turned. McIntyre followed up with a claymore for the win.

After the match, Shane went for a coast to coast on Miz, but Roman came out to fight him off. He hit McIntyre with a superman punch and stood tall.

Grade: C. This was very meh. Just felt placeholder, and there was no reason for Miz to almost be able to beat McIntyre.

Backstage, Robert Roode ran past Corbin and Lashley, told them they didn’t see him, and then ran again. The rest of the low card chased him, including Drake Maverick, who hurt his back during the scramble cuz Titus threw him out of the ring. He was limping, and just sort of apologized to the heels. I love this belt, it is so dumb.

Samoa Joe then addressed his attack on Rey Mysterio, who apparently was injured during the attack. Basically he said that Mysterio deserved it.

Robert Roode hid inside of R-Truth’s trunk, who was helping him. Then Truth attacked Roode, and won the title. I love this.

And in the main event, Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins took on Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin in a no disqualification match. The heels jumped the faces before the bell, and they were tagging in and out for some reason when the match started proper. At one point, Lashley and Corbin were going to superplex Kingston, but Rollins attacked them both with a chair. Kingston was able to get the win with a trouble in paradise.

Immediately after the match, Lashley speared both faces. Brock Lesnar then walked down to the ring, but did not end up cashing in.

Grade: B-. This match was kinda bland, but the no DQ stip was a good change of pace. I liked that, but the match didn’t do much for me. But it was still a cool thing to have in the main event. I definitely never thought that Brock was cashing in, so that didn’t bother me.

Overall Grade: B-, because most of this show was just meh.

Pros: opening promo; strowman squash; usos vs. revival; moment of bliss; 24/7 championship

Cons: shane mcmahon promo; 6-woman tag; Miz vs. McIntyre

[oldadastra]

Where do we go from here? A look back and a speculative look ahead in the wake of The Last Jedi

Now that The Last Jedi has finally arrived, I wanted to take a look back at some of the analysis and speculative essays I wrote over the past two years to see how those ideas fit (or don’t fit) into the story Rian Johnson has given us, and what surprised me most about the character revelations in TLJ. I’ll use these ideas as a springboard to look ahead to where the saga might lead in its third act, and since I love speculation as much as the next fan, I’ll wrap this essay up with a crack theory.

All this is spoiler-intensive, of course, and this got long-ass, so...

Looking back

In what remains my primary analysis of the new saga, I argued that we can safely assume the new saga is telling a redemption story for its main character, Ben Solo; not only because redemption is a primary theme in Star Wars, but also because that’s the kind of story Adam Driver would be interested in telling, based upon his own personal story and the work he and Joann Tucker are doing through their non-profit, Arts In the Armed Forces.

I delved into what appeared to be conflicting canon accounts of Snoke’s influence on young Ben, how much this interference might have affected Ben’s agency in his fall to the dark side, and the degree to which the storytellers were willing to embrace a storyline in which the main character has been subjected to abuse at the hands of a villain able to intrusively enter and influence his thoughts.

I asked questions about what might really have happened to destroy Luke Skywalkers’ Jedi training program, and presented the argument that things did not go in the way we were invited to believe in The Force Awakens.

Finally, I examined Leia’s role in the fall of her son, how politics in the galaxy far far away may have influenced his fall, and how the broken saga can reach a meaningful conclusion after Carrie Fisher’s death.

Where do we stand now?

Clearly, Ben Solo will be redeemed.

The clues were there in The Force Awakens, and Rian Johnson’s Last Jedi went further than my wildest dreams in the presentation of Ben Solo as a sympathetic character. Those of us who came out of The Force Awakens two years ago saying, “Save Ben Solo” were…in the minority. This is no longer the case.

I’m taking some pleasure in having been half-right in my guess about the truth of what happened when Ben fell to the dark. I’d hoped (perhaps ironically, given how I feel about the Prequels) that Ben’s turn would have been rooted in political and ideological beliefs, and may not have included any deaths at Luke’s training site, but The Last Jedi makes clear that there were fatalities there.

What surprised me the most about TLJ was the fall of Luke Skywalker. Based on the vicious condemnation of Last Jedi from certain segments of the fanbase, I was not alone in this. Knowing now that Ben Solo didn’t so much fall to the dark as he was pulled by Snoke, and pushed by Luke, the circumstances of his departure from Luke’s tutelage have to be seen in a different, morally ambiguous light, and Adam Driver’s repeated statements that he has been playing Kylo/Ben as a character who believes he is right make perfect sense now.  

 Looking ahead

Much like The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi left us with mysteries and unanswered questions. Plenty of disgruntled Star Wars fans with a bloated sense of entitlement have taken this as evidence that the storytellers have no plan, that Rian Johnson ignored JJ Abrams’ work in TFA, or that the saga as presented in The Last Jedi is somehow, absurdly, “not Star Wars.” 

I have no patience for people who present themselves as fans and then proceed to sh*t on the work of the thousands of people involved in bringing Star Wars to life. I’m making a conscious effort in this essay not to write in rebuttal to people lobbing hate at the Last Jedi, but let me just say this: The Last Jedi is part two of three. Important parts of the story are yet to be told.

Aside: I really miss Carrie Fisher, whose acid wit would have helped cut Star Wars trolls down to size, but if nothing else, The Last Jedi tells us that we have to stand up for ourselves, even if we’re ‘nobody.’ We all have a role to play, and we can be the hero we need. I loved The Last Jedi, and I think it may be the best Star Wars movie to date. With that, let’s look ahead:

No one’s ever really gone

I’m an old, old fan of the OT, but I was never a Luke Skywalker partisan. Maybe I was distracted by Han and Leia’s relationship, but somehow Luke’s transformation from this

to this

Never quite worked for me. How did his change of heart happen so quickly and so completely? The Luke Skywalker of Return of the Jedi always struck me as, frankly, a bit of a sanctimonious prick.  

The bitter, disillusioned Luke who has isolated himself on Ahch-To is the most human and relatable version of this character I have encountered, and I love him.

I was surprised that Rian Johnson made Luke’s fall the central sin of The Last Jedi, but in no way does this make me think less of Luke as a character, nor does it seem that Luke acted out of character in either the backstory to Ben’s fall, or in his confrontation with Ben at the end of TLJ. Grief and guilt motivated his self-imposed exile. Was there anger there, too? At himself? At the Force? In any event, his parting line to Leia, “No one’s ever really gone,” is true at many levels. Luke is speaking about Ben. Mark is talking about Carrie. Luke is talking about himself.

Fans who just think that Luke Skywalker died in TLJ have missed the point. Luke was so broken by his role in Ben’s fall that he cut himself off from the force. He found this connection again, used it to save the spark of the rebellion, made the first connection back to Ben since their falling out (and incidentally, held his nephew back from acts which would have sent him further into the dark), and finally became one with the force and ascended as a true Jedi master; filled with peace and purpose. It’s beautiful!

And it’s not the end.  Luke Skywalker will still have an important role to play in episode IX. I’m sure of it.

Claudia Gray’s Bloodline and The last Jedi

The Last Jedi did not directly address what we learned about galactic politics and Leia’s relationship with Ben during the timeframe of Claudia Gray’s Bloodline. I was surprised by this in my first viewing of TLJ, but from a storytelling standpoint, I understand how including these details would have required additional exposition in a way that didn’t fit within the structure of the film. What is implied in Bloodline about the events leading to Ben’s fall complements the version of the tale we hear in TLJ without adding detail which the audience didn’t need at this time, and which may unfold in episode IX.

Luke senses the darkness rising in Ben and goes to confront him: Based upon what we know from Bloodline, this confrontation probably took place at the end of a long day (or days) following the revelation that Ben is the grandson of Darth Vader (and Master Luke is Vader’s son!). I can imagine the chaos and turmoil this created within the small group of Luke and his students. Luke, in his moment of weakness, mistakes Snoke’s darkness for Ben’s, and contemplates his murder. Ben fights back against the threat to his life, and then battles with those who saw him strike down their master. He escapes in the company of his friends. Luke tells us he had a dozen students, plus Ben. If we want a body count at the end of what people called the “jedi massacre,” I’m going to say it stands at about five, and we have no idea how many of those were killed by the fearsome Kylo Ren.

The Knights of Ren

It’s obvious who they are now, yes? I’d hoped we would meet the Knights in The Last Jedi, but this is a pleasure that will have to wait until Episode IX.

Luke mentions them so briefly, you could almost miss it. Ben “vanished with a handful of my students and slaughtered the rest.”  

Adam Driver almost let slip who they are in an old interview from 2015, when he said, “It was a group that existed before him, that he was a part of.”

The Knights are Ben’s fellow students from Luke’s training project. If people are still doubtful about whether the storytellers have an overall plan, let me remind you that this image of the knights, mysteriously titled, “the seven light,” was part of The Force Awakens pre-production artwork as early as November of 2013.

Why didn’t the Knights appear in The Last Jedi? Because the storytellers haven’t had time to get to them, and Ben didn’t need them yet. In universe, little more than a week has elapsed since the opening crawl of The Force Awakens. 

Why am I confident we’ll see them in Episode IX? Because Ben, as the newly-minted Supreme Leader of the First Order, is going to need trusted allies to help him hold onto power. The Knights, Ben’s Jedi-trained friends who were willing to follow him into the dark, are easily the most promising set of characters we have yet to meet in the new saga.

This illustration from The Art of The Last Jedi gives me hope that at least one of Ben’s Knights is a girl.

It would make me even happier if not all of them are human. The FO, like the Empire before it, has a bias against non-humans, and seeing the new Supreme Leader surround himself with enforcers and advisors who defy the racist norms of the FO makes me happy just thinking about it.

And Ben’s going to need all the help he can get. He’s surrounded by enemies in the First Order, and it was strangely easy to dispatch Snoke. Almost too easy.  

 Snoke

How is it that Snoke, a force user powerful enough to shadow Ben Solo’s life from before he was born, and so evil that a glimpse of his darkness in Ben’s mind led Jedi Master Luke Skywalker to nearly murder his sister’s son, was killed so easily in The Last Jedi? And who was Snoke, anyway?

It was too easy to kill Snoke. Ben used Snoke’s power against him to kill him in the throne room, tricking Snoke into seeing one thing while Ben did another; but even in that moment we glimpse the terrible scope of Snoke’s power. He could see everything in Ben’s mind, and it was impossible for Ben to completely hide his thoughts from Snoke. Snoke built the link between Ben and Rey in an attempt to lure Rey into his clutches, but the link survived after Snoke was gone.

This image is from The Art of The Last Jedi: 

“We’ve seen Jedi come back as blue ghosts. Maybe Sith can come back. And maybe there’s some all-powerful mastermind Sith that’s controlling whatever the dark side is. We did talk a lot about how the final frontier for Jedi might be in the spirit realm. So you have to have a bad-guy ghost.”

It’s obvious that Hux will be one of Ben’s enemies in Episode IX, but I suspect that we have not heard the last from Snoke, either. Chuck Wendig’s Aftermath novels teased Snoke’s identity, implying that he might be Gallius Rax, though that character died at the end of the book (murdered at the edge of an erupting dark force borehole on Jakku, so ‘dead’ may be from a certain point of view). Aftermath also suggests that a dark source of the force was calling to the emperor from the unknown regions, into which the Imperial remnant fled. These could just be red herrings, or they may point towards a more enduring source of darkness that is not easily defeated.

The storytellers have told us repeatedly that Snoke is a new character, but I think it’s possible he was inspired by an Old Republic Sith Emperor Vitiate, who transferred his essence from one body to another. Snoke the entity was caught by surprise by Ben’s trick (Snoke was monologuing!), and Ben got the drop on him, destroying his physical body (which frankly, already looked like a reanimated corpse). Snoke’s essence, obviously able to project itself in powerful ways, was probably not destroyed. I think there’s a high probability Snoke, or the dark force entity that was Snoke, will be back in IX. 

Ready for that crack theory? Here you go: Snoke will be back, possibly wearing a new body.

When I tossed this idea out to my daughter, her first thought was that Hux might be a receptacle for Snoke’s consciousness, but I think Hux is already well positioned to be a foil to Ben Solo’s attempt to rule the galaxy, and doesn’t need any encouragement to work against his new Supreme Leader. There is one First Order character we saw fall just moments after Snoke, though.

Like I said, Crrrrraaccckk!!!!

In any event, I think I’m safe in predicting that Ben will struggle to hold the throne he’s won, and bring old allies to his side to help him.  I think we’ll see Snoke back in some form, and there will come a point in the story when those who are presently enemies may find themselves joining forces to fight a final battle that takes place at least in part, in the spirit realm of the Force. Ben and Rey will have to work together, along with the Resistance, and force ghosts, to defeat the ultimate darkness. Luke will be back. If the storytellers love us, he won’t come alone.

Seriously. Bring all the force ghosts in IX. I want Luke. And Anakin Skywalker. And Obi-Wan Kenobi. And Yoda. And force ghost Leia. Hell, bring me all the Jedi lost in Order 66. 

Shout out and thanks to @theboywhocan11 who knows more about Star Wars lore than I ever shall, for reminding me who Vitiate was.

And yeah, I’m tagging this Reylo, because that’s how I’ve tagged all my meta, regardless of subject matter, for the past two years. I don’t care what the rest of this stupid fandom thinks.  <3

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup: 2x08 “House of the Devil”

Alright so here we go

Jughead has made the bar his new pops and has decided to take to writing his dramatic ass novel there. Is this like an all ages place? I know I say this a lot but jughead is 15.

Veronica and Archie are also 15 but are going at it like it’s the end of the world. Veronica honest to god bites him and it’s just so much that I can barely handle it. When Jughead was talking about Archie and Veronica creating the opposite of death in his bedroom I honestly thought that they were like hinting at a pregnancy scare type thing but like whatever. They just continue to sin all over the place and have all the sex all the time. They literally get it on infront of the fireplace on a fur rug that Daddy worked hard to pay for.

Archie proclaims his love for Veronica post fuck and she’s like ummm let’s watch some netflix? Or HBO. Honestly she’d probably settle for Cravetv if it meant that she didn’t have to have this conversation. Master of avoidance.

Jughead and Betty are chilling at Pops and discussing the Riverdale Reaper. Betty knows about the creepy truck driver so like does she know that Jughead has been running drugs? They discuss going to Sheriff Hot Bod with this information but Betty like JUST accused him of murder so they decide to give him a break from their nagging.I don’t know what it is about Jugheads jacket but he honestly looks like he got it at forever 21. Jughead gets a call from an unknown number and honestly Betty probably feels pretty triggered about it.  By the grace of god FP is getting out of jail and i’m so excited about it because honestly I adore him more than I should.

FP is getting out because of overcrowding and honestly this is so how Khloe Kardashian only have to spend like 35 minutes in jail. Praise the justice system.

Jughead and Betty are busy with his dad so they ask Archie and Veronica to head the investigation on the Riverdale Reaper and they are pissed. They have basically just been given a pile of homework and neither of them are the brains of the operation. They don’t know how to solve murders, all they know how to do is fuck.

So Cheryl and Josie are in the locker room and Cheryl is ready to roll up in all her bi curious glory and give Josie a nice back rub that in her mind will lead to them falling in love. The janitor rolls up and Cheryl is ready to have the man fired for ruining their moment.

Veronica gets home to find Sherif Keller in her house and honestly she’d probably panting. The lodges have received a threatening letter from the black hood but they aren’t that concerned about it. Veronica is a little worried because she and archie have been sinning all over town.

Mr and Mrs Lodge think that Veronica should use Archie as like a bodyguard in hopes that he’ll pull a Moose and protect her with his muscles if someone starts shooting at them.

Betty wants to borrow the family car to go pick up FP and i’m like okay did all these kids turn 16 without me noticing? I guess that Jughead did have a birthday, but they spent so much time solving murders and getting into so much hyjinx so when did they have time to get their learner's permits and their required supervised driving hours?

All the serpents are excited to have FP back and for things to get lit. Tall Boy doesn’t like change and thinks that talking to the mayor is a bad idea and that Jughead needs to stop acting like he’s the big man on campus because he’s literally been in the gang for maybe half an hour. Jughead tells Tall Boy to stop being a lil bitch and then everyone cheers. We get a quick shot of Sweet Pea and i’m like oh i forgot about you. You’re kind really hot. So like he can stay. Toni Topaz is still just hanging around and I still don’t like her. I don’t want to not like her but like come on.

Archie comes over to Veronica's and really wants to talk about his feelings but V is like” hmmm no how about be don’t and we just get busy instead?”

Archie and Veronica both seek their parents advice about the Love issue and it’s honestly a little awk.

FP walks out of jail like a true baller and i’m just so glad that he’s back. Daddys Home. Alice came with them to pick up FP and is like “ so how sexually frustrated are you?” ALICE OMG!

So FP isn’t going to be a serpent anymore? What happened to being a serpent for life? Alice knows that if FP is going to be a waiter he’s going to turn back to drinking real quick. Waiting tables will have him hitting the bottle within the hour.

Archie and Veronica keep it in their pants for long enough to start the investigation and find out that they need to go to the devil's house.

So FP and Jughead suddenly both have their own motorcycles and they go on a father son ride. I just want to say again how much I love FP. Jughead is a dumb little bitch and lies to FP about Penny. We find out that FP was in the army and i’m just like “ that’s hot”. Jugheads hair is just so intense in this scene and It needs to calm down a little bit. FP just wants Jughead to pursue his dreams of being a writer. He’s just such a good dad.

So Reggie has his Daddy offer Josie 5 thousand dollars to perform at his car dealership so that he can get a date with her and i’m like who knew Reggie had so much cash on hand. That’s hot. But I mean come on Reggie.That’s a little desperate. Play hard to get.

Cheryl starts coming for FP and Jughead is not having it. Jughead wants his Daddy to be treated like a king and won’t settle for less. FP is top shit and everyone should know it. Betty wants to throw him a party because the only things she knows how to do is throw parties and solve murders.

Betty rolls up to the bar and Toni is working there and i’m like okay that’s so fake. She can’t be a bartender she’s literally a child. Betty and Toni chat like old friends and Betty admits to wanting to be serpent adjacent which is so a sentence I would say just in my everyday life. Some old serpent bat is like Betty you have to do this serpent strip tease and she also calls her Sweet Valley High and no nick name has ever been so fitting. She is so an elizabeth I just can’t handle it, but watch out here comes dark Betty.

So they’re going to have a retirement Party for FP. So i guess you can just leave a gang whenever you want. That just doesn’t seem on brand.

Penny calls Jughead and makes him come meet her at pops for another secret chat. Jughead is like  “fuck you Penny this was a one time thing” and she’s like “ I already told you i’m blackmailing you did you forget?”. Jughead once again decides that he has the authority to speak for the whole gang and tells Penny to go fuck herself. He tries to make a dramatic exit but then Penny is like “ Um i’ll murder your girlfriend so you better do what I say.” So poor little Juggie is in a pickle.

Veronica and Archie head out ot the devil's house and she’s wearing a cape AGAIN. We find out there’s a third child who didn’t get murdered so now they gotta hunt this guy down. This is more detective work then they’ve done the whole series so they are probably very tired.

Alice storms into Pops to have a chat with FP about their children and not letting Betty get wrapped up in the serpents. Okay i’m so strongly getting the vibe that something went down with FP and Alice back in the day. Like come on “ They weren’t all mistakes”. FP is like come to the party and Alice thinks he’s high and besides her boring husband would never come. FP tells her to leave Hal at home wink wink. Like honestly shove it Hal. I’m so convinced now that they had a thing or something like. Freak. Honestly this has the potential to be so gossip girl. Jughead and Betty are about to be the new Dan and Serena with their parents having a romantic past. I could be wrong but whatever.

So they finally get the whole scooby gang together and Archie and Veronica report their findings to bughead. Betty and Jughead have a party to plan which they forgot to invite Archie and Veronica to so they have to leave the rest of the investigation to the B team.

So the janitor is the third kid and they find out that the riverdale reaper is dead so there goes that lead but I don’t think we’re done with the janitor yet.

Betty practices being sexy in the mirror and honestly it’s kind of tough to watch. Yikes what's going to happen? Oh shit she took her hair down. It’s about to get real.

Alice and Betty roll up to the bar and Alice Cooper doesn’t do anything half assed so she’s in her biker best. She’s like living her best life and getting shots but she’s got Bettys back and she’s ordered her a shirley temple.

Archie and Veronica have a talk and Archie gets all pissy that Veronica doesn't love him.

They sing Mad World and i’m like okay so is this show supposed to use songs that put me in such a depressive state that I want to swallow a hand full of sedatives, drink a bottle of wine and sink into a bath to live out the final moments of my life?

Also the sheer number of musical numbers in this show like i’m sorry i didn’t know i was watching glee.Archie and Veronica bail and Betty saves the day. Holy shit she takes off her clothes what the actual fuck you literal 15-16 year old. I’m dying. Omg stop. I can’t do this. Jughead is like not living his best life. Alice is not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. Alice wanted her to dress more like serpent but she didn’t mean like this. FP leads an awkward clap for Betty and then gives her his jacket so that she can cover up for christ sake.

FP gives this big speech and honestly kind of calls out Jughead for not always being on his side. FP is still going to be the HBIC of the serpents and I’m like “ yas. These are your people” . Jughead is like not happy about it but like he thought that FP was still going to be a serpent before so like….

Oh shit. FP knows about Penny and is staying a Serpent to protect Jughead. He is pissed that Jughead didn’t do the only thing he asked him to do. FP is here to clean up the mess. He’s doing what he has to do. What he always does. He’s just the best. That forehead kiss broke my damn heart. I love him.

Okay so like did Archie and Veronica just break up because Veronica isn’t ready to love him? Jughead doesn’t want Betty to get wrapped up in the Serpent world so he’s breaking up with her to protect her? Yikes. Why is everyone getting dumped? This is such drama.

Oh shit so now Archie is going to go after Betty because he knows that she can love him? Fuck. I can’t deal with this.

Alright now for real. Where is Smithers? There must have been a reason they had him replaced with Andre. Where is Kevin? Hanging out with his hot dad? Where is Reggie? Hanging out with his rich dad? For the love of god WHERE IS MOOSE?

[writingfromkitchenator]

Sunshine

Written for the 2017 Louden Swain SPN Mini Bang that @mrswhozeewhatsis is running.  I don’t normally do song fics, so this was a new experience for me, certainly a new challenge, and I hope it’s come out okay.

It’s been slightly beta read, but not completely (she needed to sleep and I needed to get it queued) so hopefully there aren’t too many mistakes.

It’s kind of a Chuck x OC, but it depends on how you read it.  Can also be a Dean x OC.  Hopefully it makes sense.

Words: 2000 (Yeah, exactly)

Based on the song Gamma Ray by Louden Swain

Enjoy!

They say that nothing in our lives is free

It keeps me runnin'

There were more than a few looks towards the woman walking down the street, all confidence and intelligence.  She didn’t fit in here, that much was clear, with high boots, wide sunglasses and permed, thick, blonde hair, she gave an air of money that was almost unseen in the area.

Then they tell me that my saving grace

Is that I look so stunnin'

She was very aware of the stares but she didn’t care, not today, she was used to this, used to being out of place, and normally she’d send the occasional scowl or wink, depending on her mood, but today was different.

Today she had a goal.

I could indulge all the evil ways

My mind is going

She stopped at a store, buying a bag full of food and a six pack of beer.

Outside again, further down the street, someone wolf whistled and was responded to by her middle finger in the air, turning the whistle to a shout.

She didn’t have time for that, she had a place to be.

As she came to a small street, she paused, looking glaringly up at the sun for a moment, the heat stinging at her skin, and huffed.

Then I'm liable for the human race

It keeps me running, looks so stunning

Soaking up the Gamma Ray

She bee lined for a house, knocking on the door several times, her foot tapping.

“Who is it?”  A male voice called.

She snorts.  “Yeah, like you don’t know.”

At that, the door opened, Chuck frowning at her.  “How am I supposed to know?  It’s not like I get many visitors in the first place.”

Preparing for an early grave

Gotta do somethin'

“Uh huh.”  She pushed her way in, ignoring his slightly annoyed look. “And I suppose you’re too hungover most of the time too?”

“Exactly,” He followed after her, frowning.  “Why are you here anyway Caroline?”

Caroline raised an eyebrow, looking over the top of her glasses, revealing shining brown eyes. “End of the world and all that?  Ring any bells?”

Chuck blinks. “Oh.  Right.”  Then frowns. “Don’t you have anyone else to be spending it with?”

She scoffs, pushing her glasses on top of her head, and unpacks the things onto his table, revealing mostly snack food.  “Please. I have the best seat right next to God.”

He sighs.  “Caroline, I’ve told you-”

“Tell me all you want Chuck, I know the truth.”  She said in a little sing song way, stepping over to the fridge and putting the beer inside. “You know, clairvoyant and all that?”

Dry food will be fun to consume

Won't it be something? (Won't it be something?)

“Clairvoyant or witch?” Chuck asked, stepping forward and grabbing a bag of chips.  “Honestly, it really is questionable at times.”

Caroline snorts in amusement.  “Bit of both, but you know that.”

“Yeah, because I’m a prophet.”  He said through a mouthful of food.  ”I have to know these things to write it all down.”

And then I'll illustrate my great escape

If the end is coming

“Right.”  She drawled out, grinning.  “You’re something else Chuck, you know that?”

He shrugs.  “It’s not like I like this anymore than you do.”

“Maybe,” She digs through the cupboards for a glass, filling it with water.  “You could at least make it cold you know, some of us want to die out still in some sort of healthy condition.”

“I’m not God!”  He exclaimed.  “Even if I was, the warmth is a lot more appealing.”

2012 so the Mayans say

It keeps us running, Keeps us sunning

Soaking up the Gamma rays

“Heat, yes, scorching sun, not so much.”  Caroline grins, leaning against his sink to watch him.  “We’ve got plenty of time to argue this you know, but I know who’s going to win.”

Chuck rolled his eyes and went back over to his desk, still eating away at the chips in his hand. “Come on, I’ve still got to write this out, give me a break.”

“You’re…you’re seriously going to write this out?”  She asked, following with a deep frown.  “Despite everything that’s happening, that’s your main concern?”

“What else would you have me do?”  He asked, fixing up the paper slightly skewed on his desk before sitting in front of his computer.

“Oh, I don’t know, fix things?”

There's a thought that 

When it does come 

The flood will set us free

Chuck sighed. “What?  You don’t think I would if I could?”

She folded her arms. “How long are we going to play this game Chuck?  I was the one that led Sam and Dean to you in the first place, then I stayed, sure, partly out of curiosity, I wasn’t sure at first, but then because I realised you needed it, no matter who you were.”

“Needed what?”  He asked.  “I’m doing fine.”

“Company.”  She said bluntly.  “And you can't tell me-” She was cut off as her phone started to ring.

Chuck glanced around at her a little guiltily as she answers the phone.

But we don't know

Hell we don't know anything

Anything

“Hel-What?  Woah, Dean, slow down.  What do you mea-” Caroline held the phone away from her ear as Dean practically yelled down the other end.  “Okay, okay, just calm down for two seconds- No, I will tell you to calm down because being like that is going to get nothing done.”  There was a pause.  “Okay, I know you're not feeling better but maybe you can actually talk to me.”

Chuck watched as she disappeared into another room and bit his lip, looking at the half typed page in front of him.

Dean wasn't sure why she always answered his calls, wasn't sure why she turned up for him, especially for this, but there Caroline was, looking as if it wasn't the end of the world and she wasn’t there to die, two pistols in hand.

“What?”  She asked him.

He was trying not to smile and shakes his head.  “Nothing. Just wishing I could’ve seen more of this side.”

“Show ain’t over yet Dean.” Caroline said, striding past him. “Now come on, we going to stop this or what?”

Dean sighs.  “Yeah, let’s go kick some ass.”

Caroline beams back at him.  “You do this every day don’t you?  It’s all normal?”

He scoffs, matching her stride.  “Normal?  Does that even exist in our line of work?”

“Depends on what you get used to.” She said.  “Mind, I guess end of the world shouldn’t really be on that list.”

“Sweetheart, if it’s just you and me, I really don’t mind.”

Chuck hit print on the page, carefully folding it up and slipping it into his draw before clearing what was on the screen, already typing away when she walked back in, looking grim.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Was it necessary to allow Sam to do that?”  She asked and he faced her, surprised.

“What?  You didn't see it?”  He asked, a little too earnestly.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline's eyes flash dangerously.  “We both know it doesn't work that way, so don't be a dick Chuck.”

“Hey, I'm just asking.”  Chuck holds up his hands a little in surrender before returning to his screen, but can feel her gaze boring into his back.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Uh huh, and you’ve managed to avoid my question.”  She said.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say, I don’t have any control.  Sam thought that doing this would help, that he’d be able to break Lucifer’s will and put him back.”  Chuck typed away and then spoke very quietly under his breath.  “Brave, but foolish.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

He jumped as Caroline came and leaned against his desk.  “So then damned well stop it Chuck, or what?  Are you enjoying this?  You like the mess that’s been made?”

“Do I look like I’m enjoying this Caroline?”  He asked, gesturing the half empty bottle of whiskey.  “I mean come on, I’m hardly functioning.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline gives an impatient huff, pushing off the desk and storming off back into the kitchen, Chuck rolling his eyes as he hears her rummaging through the cupboards and draws. A little nervously, he gets up and follows her.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Helping Dean.”  She snapped, pulling a small pouch out of her pocket.  “I can’t go and save the idiot, but I can at least give him a little help from here.”

“You can’t go?”  Chuck asked, tilting his head a little.

They say that nothing in our lives is free

Keeps us runnin'

She glares up at him for a moment, raising an eyebrow.  “Not unless you want me to?”

“Of course not!”  He said quickly.

“Then stop bloody being a dick!”  She threw up her hands for a moment, exasperated.  “Honestly.  No wonder the angels are the way they are, they learnt it from you.”

Chuck opened his mouth, but then quickly shut it again, watching her work.

Then they tell me that my saving grace

Is that I look so stunnin'

Her spell work was quick and efficient, Chuck watching as she made it look effortless, rolling her neck a little before lighting a match and throwing it into the bowl.

“That was my good bowl.” He whined, watching as it burned and she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll buy you a new one if you were that attached.”  She growled.

Turning to the kitchen window, she flung open the curtains, letting the light stream in, making Chuck shield his eyes.

“Is that necessary?” He asked.

“The spell needs sunlight to work properly.”  She said and then shoots him a look.  “Not to mention your damned house needs it.”

“Yeah, but hungover me doesn’t.”

“Too bad.”

Keep on sunning

Soaking up the Gamma Rays

Caroline draws in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, looking at the burning bowl worriedly. “Hopefully…it’ll be enough.”

But it'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“What was it?”

“Protective luck.” She said.  “I just hope we’re not too far away.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“I’m sure we won’t be.” He said gently.  “They’re lucky to have you.”

Caroline was still staring at the bowl.  “Yeah…but I feel like I should be there still.”

Chuck gives a weak smile before heading to a cabinet and pulling out two glasses.  “Come on, come have a drink with me.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

She looked at him, slightly amused.  “Drinking? That’s your solution?”

He shrugs.  “Seems as good as any.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline sighs and nods in defeat.  “Fine.” She follows him back into the other room, where he sits back at his desk and she pulls a chair over, watching him pour the drinks.

A small smile reaches her. “Well, I did say that the best spot was next to God.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Chuck shakes his head, returning her smile.  “Then I guess there’s nowhere else I’d rather you be.”

“Oh, admitting it now are we?”  She asked, taking the glass and missing his small shuffle in front of his draw.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Not a chance.”  He said, smiling.  “But I’ll drink to the possibility.”

Caroline rolls her eyes and leans forward, clinking their glasses.  “To the end of the world then?”

“To the end of the world.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

[popculturebuffet]

Hickman’s X-Men One Year In: Part 2: The Dawn of X

And we’re onto part 2. Since it took me a while to talk about Hickman’s Series outside of Giant-Size and the setup here, that’s in part one if your curious, I split this little retrospective into two parts, with this part here talking about the rest of the books. This isn’t to say they aren’t great, many of them are, it was just easier to do this as a two parter so with HIckman himself out of the way how did his hand picked batch of talented writers handle the lofty status quo he set up?Find out under the cut. Pax Krakoa baby. 

Mauraders Okay just to get this out of the way this is my second faviorite x-book running, after X-Men itself and it often equals it and far and away the best tile of the run and restored my faith in Gerry Duggan.  Duggan is not a bad writer and I blame the messy finish of his otherwise awesome guardians run with infnity wars on marvel trying to cram other characters into it and then a weird mash up idea that while cool, kept the guardians out of their own damn event and from confrting a now mad gamora, but that and deadpool made me forget the guy is a good writer and can do great things. Maruaders however won me back to him with intrest.  A unique concept, the x-men as pirates helping ferry goods to krakoan allied states and ferry trapped mutants from hostile ones, is fucking awesome. The only thing missing is nightcrawler and it’s clear hickman has other plans, though I still feel he shoudl’ve been on the boat as he has both the relation to kitty pryde and pirate pedgree that fit in perfectly.  Speaking of kitty after years of writers misusing her due to having a crush on her as a kid and shoving her into half baked romances with peter quill and her ex peter rasptuin, the latter failing so badly that marvel pulled the plug on their wedding because fans clearly didn’t want it, and battling my own reluctance ot see her front and center again, Duggan makes good use of her again: Kitty is given the unique hook of the portals not working for her and no one, even her old friend Doug after he gets back, being able to figure out WHY. Though I do hope Doug does show up here and explain it more, as him being kitty’s best friend once is rarely brought up since he got back and it’s silly it hasn’t been. But rather than take this on the chin Kitty strikes up a crew consisting of big sister Storm, first class graduate x-man, badass gay and kitty’s friend and ex iceman, bishop who reluctantly joins as her bishop more on that in a second and the best of them by a mile: Pyro. The original, finally brought back and given some intresting backstory: he was the first mutant brought back and felt good about it..t ill he realized that despite sacrificing himself to save a, if your familiar with the various cartoons this will be baffling but trust me, reformed senator kelly as Pyro himself was dying from the legacy virus, only to find out they did him first because they considered him expendable basically and naturally was upset over that, drunk a bunch of the liquor kitty smuggled in, for logan naturally, and passed out and then joined in on the rescue mission that formed the team because why not and stayed because it was a great offer.  Speaking of offers with a new purpose, Kitty accepted her old enemy Emma Frost’s offer to be red queen, which includes a seat on krakoa’s council and was basically emma’s way of saying fuck you to her old cohort who she was forced to bring back on to handle the seedier side of Krakoa’s dealings via his underworld connections, sebastian shaw. Emma is the fincical  backbone of krakoa, having the shipping connections to get the flowers in and out and now having kitty to handle the stuff she can’t and do some of the shipping, as well as again tell Sebastian, who naturally wants both gone and is pissy at Emma being so far ahead of him, wants gone. And while he’s seemingly succeded with kitty I not only have every expectation that while ressuection is failing to work on her she’ll be back, but that trying to murder one of the most beloved x-men whose consdiered family to among others three of krakoa’s captains, bishop after this series, four of their council, five if you include Doug whose best friends with both his left arm which is also a deadly space robot and the very place they live on. The only reason he’s not going to die 80 times in increasingily horrifying ways is because the five can’t take on that kind of workload and one murderous ass beating from half of krakoa and krakoa itself is close enough. 

Emma is easily one of the books best parts, being written back as she should: An anti hero who while quick with a cutting quip, truly cares for her charges, and mutantkind as a whole and has grown from the monster she started as or even the kind of person who’d use a therapy session from a desperate man having issues opening up emotionally after apocalypse used his body as a rental car to convince him to fuck her.  And yes that’s how things started with Scott and Emma and yes it’s really fucked up and yes the story treats it as such, though I still wish Scott would get actual therapy, but as Linkara recently pointed out in his House of M Review the Marvel and DC universes weirdly lack therapists for the most part and thus it was left on my mind the last two weeks.. and yes I know DC tried but when your final product at trying to serious tackle mental health is heroes in crisis.. I award you no points and god have mercy on your soul.  But while Emma and Kitty get the lions share of the focus the rest of the group is enjoyable, well done and intresting, if not given many arcs to themselves, but still have enough character moments to counterballance that. The standout of the rest of the crew is easily Pyro, taken from “why is he still dead despite being super popular and used in a heavy role in X2 that’s garnered fans of that version to this day and bafflement he became a foot note in the next movie and used in every adaptation” to fun side character with a skull on his face and a love of booze and setting things on fire. He’s finally given the respect he deserves sorta and while I hope more is delved into his ressurection angst, he’s a ton of fun and it again makes me wonder why it took 20+ years to bring him back, but i’m glad the right person did it. The rest of the crew are fun with Bishop being another standout.  That being said part of the reason there isn’t a lot of focus is simply because in additoin to our brave crew the book is juggling a LOT of characters.. the morlocks and calisto, both given a proper treatment after wya too long, jumbo carnation a minor character from morrisons run who was introduced in the same issue he died is emma’s designer, shinobi shaw and christian frost, the latter I question why a main relative of one of marvel’s a-list mutants who was one of marvel’s earlier gay characters hasn’t been used in a big way till now but no time like the present, Sebastian and the people he shares his big bad spot with Homines Verde aka those tweens who ran the hellfire club during jason aaron’s run because the man is nuts and who I only seemd to liked, brillinatly revamped as a racist replacemnt for the hellfire club and so far a clever threat. The book is just stuffed iwth good characters, beautiful art, and a great tone that combines spectacular humor with really good story and worldbuilding. It’s also a nice contrast to hickman’s stuff: don’t get me wrong I love hickman’s writing style but it’s nice to have something JUST as good.. but with a cheerier tone and less weariness to it, while still not lacking weight. I can’t wait to see where this goes.. it’s a pirates life for me. 

Excalibur:  Like most of the dawn of X-Line outside of fallen angels, more on that in a minute and even then that had an intresting new directoin for betsy braddock, I was pumped for this one. A team I loved: While I struggled to find a run I loved with Claremont’s run having Brian Braddock be a raging dick whose terrible to his girlfriend and gets away with cheating on her and Claremont not really bothering to explain Saturnyne or other characters and their history with Brian well to us yanks who never had the chance to read those tales.. though why stories by alan moore and chris claremont haven’t been republished properly or in epic collections is beyond me. Warren Ellis, who I now loathe for being a scheming weasel who treated women like garbage, had a decent run with plenty of warlock, in a weird phase where he thought he was doug, Moira and Wolfsbane stuff I loved.. but also had 30-40 something pete wisdom shacking up with 18 year old at most kitty pryde, with Pete at the time being basically Warren Ellis badass self insert character, and given recent revelations i’m pretty sure he damn well knew kitty was just 18 and even if he didn’t having his own fanfic character deflower her is just all kinds of EWWWWWW. He also had Colossus, fresh of being a villian for a while for understandable reasons, nearly beat pete into a coma in a jealous rage over the ex.. the ex he dated while she was still a minor, and left because HE , and editorial, was uncomfortable with it for damn obvious reasons. I can see why fans like to see her as bisexual and pair her with Illiayna.. I mean why the fuck not? They have better chemistry than most of he hetrosexual intrests and are paried because of that and not because the writer wanted to make out iwth kitty as a teenager and forgot “oh yeah she’s fictional and i’m 40!”  Christ thank god for Gerry Duggan.  But yeah moving on from that I was still pumped as a magical x-men book with Besty Braddock now captain freaking britan, and apocalypse on the roster. And rictor and jubille? nad rouge and gambit I guess.. I don’t knokw if they fit but whatever. Sign me up. The actual result is a mixed back. I do like Tini Howard’s work here to a point: Betsy gets good character stuff and theres actually good tension from the fact that the new captain britan is no longer primarily a british ctizen, and the book brought back a character I felt marvel needed to do more with: Jamie. if you don’t know, Jamie is betsy and brian’s, her brother and the former captain britian, older brother who went insane due to his powers and thus just goes around in his underwear convinced reality isn’t real and he can do what he wants and the tension with Jamie refusing to have anything to do with his brother for no good reason is really good. Rictor and Apocalypse are likewise good sensable additons: Rictor turns out to be a natural to being a druid which is a nice twist and makes sense given when he lost his powers the biggest issue with that was loosing touch with earth after having a connection to it be a vital part of him for years. Apocalypse as an ominus chess master slowly securing magic for mutantkind with some goal we’re about to get answers to is really investing and adds a layer to his character, that much like doctor doom he’s as much sorecer as he is scinetest and given the guy’s immortal, it dosen’t feel like it was pulled out of nowhere.  The problem is the other half of the cast.. dosen’t really work. I fucking love Jubilee, a faviroite of mine as an xman despite not being a huge 90′s x-men cartoon fan, just feels kinda shoe horned in. Her son becomes a dragon and she worries about him constantly, but her worrying about her son possibly not being a mutant on mutant land could be done in any other x-book, and fraknly I feel her personality would fit better with the maruaders, and it’d be intresting to see kitty and her on the same team since both really haven’t interacted. Here she just feels like “well tini wanted jubilee and no one else did soooo I made her son a dragon to justify getting her”. I feel more could be done and hope Tini has better plans for her. Rouge is one of my faviorte x-men and All New X Factor and Kelly Thompsons work with him and Rouge made me like Gambit again, and I DO love their marriage and it was a way better idea than the one Guggenhiem had planned.. but while the idea of Rouge being reborn is intresting and all, she still dosen’t really get to do much and like Jubilee just feels weirldy out of place while Remy has that plus he’s annoying, as while he’s the only one rightfully supscious of apocalypse he also won’t shut the fuck up about it for five minutes. Ig et where he’s coming from  but it dosen’t make him less annoying. These aren’t bad characters, but sof ar they just feel weirdly out of place in a magic based book and unlike Rictor tini hasn’t made any of htem but Rouge feel in place. 

That being said I could ignore that more.. but the villians are also week. So far at least, as the return of Satyurne has given the book it’s first good antagonist.. but what I feel drags the book down the most from it’s potential is the bad guys; Morgan Le Fay is the first antaognist, being mad at apocalypse’s intrusions and corrputing Brian.. but her motives are just so boring: She wants power and to rule, she hates mutants... while “hates mutants” is a qualifier for every other antagonist so far, she just feels bland.. Tini just dosen’t make her feel like a good antagonist and it’s a shame as mutant hater or not she’s something DIFFRENT from the throngs of mutant hating conspiracies, mostly from russia in the other books... she’s just so bland it dosen’t work. And after her is Cullen Bloodstone who as far as I can tell is written out of character.. haven’t read his book but I had both a friend confirm it and having read his marvel wiki entry, it just seems like an odd turn to have him be a racist asshole. But even with all my problems and underwhelm here.. I still WANT the book to get from okay to amazing, and feel it genuinely has the potetial. I’ve seen books sharply improve after a rough first arc, Duggan himself showed me that with his Guardians run. Sometimes it just takes time for something to truly blossom and I have a feeling even with my issues, with x of swords coming up howard’s going to flip it all on it’s head and leave me standing there gasping like a moron. I have hope for that. And if nothing else the book is at least UNIQUE. And not in a trainwreck way: by giving mutants a piece of the magic pie and having them tackle far weirder threats, it’s at least doing something new and it probably lands for other people if not me, and if nothing else it does brian 80 times better than the claremont run did. not a high bar but I do like the character and it’s nice to see him take such an intresting path, and the same goes for Betsy. Tini’s still got magic to do, and I have a feeling it’s going to take me by storm very soon. 

Fallen Angels: Now for the other half of the coin as it were. Some fans weren’t happy about Betsy getting her old body back, and yes Psylocke wasn’t orignally asian but a white british woman bodyswapped iwth a japanese assasian and yes that’s as ludicrious and unteitonally offensive as it sounds, because horrible implications of said Body Swap or not, Psylocke was one of the few asian superheros of note. So to compromise , Hickman and co decided to split the diffrence: Betsy would come back and get a rank up to captain britan, while Kwannon, said assasian, would take over as Psylocke. Hence Excalibur above and fallen angels here and I was excited about it. The Body Swap thing went on a decade too long and this way fans got the character they knew as Psylocke in another book while the face they recognized would finally get some fleshing out. I was excited about that and while probably the least excited about this book of the intitial 5, it did have an intresting lead, two characters I did like (Kid Cable I grant was only under hickman who turned him from that brat version of cable who killed the one I really love to a good character in his own right), and an intresting antagonist in a sentient machine.  In practice it was okay. The best I can say is that writer Brian Hill DOES do a great job taking a mostly minor x-character and really fleshing her out and making her engaging and Kwannon’s quest to save her daughter is really compelling.. but the premise of those who don’t fit with krakoa dosen’t work with the roster given. Laura Kinney is not only sticking with the x-23 name after dropping the wolverine mantle for no reason previously, something Hickman fixed as soon as he realized how fans felt for her apperance in the main book, while Cable feels nothing like the far more fun version from Hickman’s X-Men and later Duggan’s Cable. Add in Husk and Bling who do deserve to be on a team but feel out of place here, and it just.. is okay. The book has an intresting angagonist and a great lead, but just dosen’t work as a team book and would’ve been better off being JUST about kwannon herself, who is far and away the best part about the book and i’m glad she got fleshed out. Not TERRIBLE but nothing special and it’s a shame given the antagonist, whose name I can’t even remember at this point, is intresting and ties into mutantkind’s greatest enmies being man and machine accoridng to house and powers.. basically a decent concep twith a flawed execution. Maybe hill’ sbatman and hte outisders run is better. I need to get on that. That being said the premise and idea is so far being done well in Hellions which we’ll get to, even if I’m being cautious really getting into the book with Zeb Wells track record. But more on that in a bit. 

X-Force: Time to make noise, bad guys leave us no choice.. you know the rest. But yeah X-force. The concept here grabbed me, having X-Force rather than just be the black ops squad but be literal black ops for krakoa, was really great and fit the brave new world.. what worried me was the writer, Benjamin Percy. Now a lot of x-fans probably knew him from the much beloved “Wolverine: The Long Night” podcast, which i’ve heard is utterly fantastic as is it’s followup.. but I hadn’t heard it, and had only heard of Percy from DC comics where under his belt was an okay teen titans run and a not very good and politcally unsubtle green arrow book. And i’m not against politics in comics it just wasn’t done at all well there and the “oliver queen looses hif ourture due to a shadowy conspiracy thing” was already done better by jeff lemire. So yeah I was going to give this a chance but figured like those books it’d start strong and then peter out.  I. Was. Wronnnnggg. X-Force is easily one of the best of the dawn of x and uses said premise well. It started a bit roughly, mostly becasue the first arc idnd’t make clear x-force didn’t exist yet but was a great origin story: a squad of military commandos working for a shadowy consirtum who become x-force’s big bad, plunge onto Krakoa and massacre a bunch of mutantas and assinate charles xavier. He comes back, though it’s trickier for obvious reasons, but it’s clear from this, and from wolverine and kid omega’s sucessful investigation and finding domino, that this can’t go on and thus X-Forces is formed; The intellegence and black ops arm of Krakoa and the one arm of it’s goverment exempt from the ‘dont’ kill humans rule”. What followed was nearly a years worth of fast paced adventures with good character stuff: Wolverine is in his element, kid omega, while I had my doubts due to quinten being way overused , turned out to be a perfect choice basically being a more compitent teenage sterling archer, cocky and loving this but also really good at his job, while Domino gets a great arc dealing with her trauma over her mutalation and having some of her power stolen by the shadowy masked dickheads while Colossus deals with his trauma over what went down when he rescued some Russian mutants, with the book slowly building up new threats and towards a showdown with Russia, something that’s also been built up by conflicts in Wolverine and Mauraders, which again makes the world of x feel more like an actual world instead a bunch of comics in one cast herd.  Jean Grey is good for intellegence, though by now seems to have noped out as she couldn’t take the toll, it’s not for everyone and most notably after 5 or 6 years of being treated worse and worse and written worse and worse and becoming a bigger and bigger piece of shit Beast is FINALLY put in the right spot: his darker turns aren’t ignored but he’s back to being an actually intellegent hero as X-force’s director, still a bit greasy but now for good reason and without a god complex or some such bullshit and with a tiny bit of his humor back. Not much else to say really, X-Force is well paced, enjoyable and gritty, getting the spirit of the team at it’s best down right while doing something fresh with it. 

New Mutants (Ed Brisson) Last one, New Mutants is the odd duck of the dawn of x line in terms of how it was launched. Fallen Angels ended up being a mini series both due  to Hill being busy and it’s cast being needed elsewhere but will presmibly get a follow up later, but it’s not the ONLY mini series in the line with Fantastic four/x-men, the giant sized one shots and now Empyre: X-Men all debuting in wave 2. New Mutants however is the first book to change writers and said writer STARTED in the middle of hickman’s run, partly due to scheduling delays but even before that it was partly by design and those issues haven’t been collected yet, with hickman’s short run being collected first. So you have a run that builds off what Hickman started but with it’s own ideas that started insidei t and suprisingly it .. really works.  While I do think there are better books in the line Brisson’s new mutants is enjoyable, combining humor and character work. New Mutants focuses on the sextant, which was first brought up in hickman’s run, the series of habitats for younger mutants on krakoa that the new mutants look out for, and while the original new mutants are in space, Armor decides to try and bring some old friends in to join in paradise with the help of Glob Herman, that big pink guy with a visable skeleton and eyes, and Maxine and Manon, who in the tradition of layla miller were created for an event and not great htere but turned out amazing under the right writer.. who I think also wrote that event but whatever, a pair of empaths and telepaths who have trouble grasping the right ethics for using their powers.  The four go to get one of my faviorite x-men back: BEAK! I missed him even if he’s weirdly suddenly repowered. Beak and his wife Angel only haven’t joiend in with their kids because his dad’s sick, and things soon escalate when a bunch of criminals try holding them all hostage and it’s up to boom boom, bored since everyone left her alone, to save the day! After that we deal with Magik rangling them and the team’s new mission statment: not wanting ot mess up again like she did with beak, who did join them but not without loosing his dad and then his memory of his dad thanks to the twins misguided efforts, Armor still wants to try welcoming new mutants in with the vetrans help, and thus we have our puprose: focusing both on how these younger mutant 20 somethigns of various ages from early to late work together to make a better world nad help their own get back to this world. it’s intresting.. I’m not in love with it like mauraders or x-force, but it’s still pretty good and their first big foe so far, DoX, a blog that well.. doxes mutants that haven’t arrived yet, seems to be intresting. Not much to say just pretty good and and better at mixing comedy and character stuff, and getting the cast right. Ed Brisson had already proven himself on old man logan, but this cements him as one of the hottest new x-writers around and i’m glad he was given a book here. He’s also succeded in making me actually like Glob Herman so that’s a plus. 

Fantastic Four/X-Men The first title of wave 2 and easily one of the best, right up there with mauraders nad probably JUSST behind it and ONLY because i’ts a mini series, giving the X-Men their first real step into the rest of hte marvel universe. Sure the 4 had cameoed in the first issue and there’s been mentions of krakoa in other books and one off issues but mostly Krakoa really hadn’t impacted anything.. but that first issue also set things up with Scott’s conversation with Sue Richards

Yeah and in case those who haven’t been aware of what’s going on with the FF lately and either remember franklin as a 6-11 year old or wondered why the hell he was suddenly a teen when they read this crossover, it’s actually simple; At the end of secret wars the Richards family was put on a bus, also so marvel could shove the ff as a proper team out the door due to the whole fox rights thing, and when Dan Slott had brought them back.. and cleverly had more time pass for the richards than for the 616 proper, so he could age Franklin up to his late teens and Valeria up to her early ones, allowing the richards children to actually age since Franklin’s age always had to stay vauge due to marvel’s vage and wobbly time scale. This way they get both consitant ages and more agency.  But the return also came with a price as Franklin, who if you didn’t know is so powerful he can create whole universe and shape the sturcture of the universe, had his powers break saving his family, and thus since he came back, he’s onlyg got so much of them left in the tank before they run out entirely, and it’s been an issue for him in Slott’s run as he worries about being the normal human in a fantastic family and comes to a head here, though rather than Hickman himself, who as mentioned last time has a marvelous track record with the family or FF series writer dan slott Hickman choose a wild card for this, though had both Hickman and Slott’s permission to do whatever he wanted: Chip Zdarsky, a modern marvel for marvel who’d writtne the four in marvel two in one but for some reason didn’t get the main book and this book makes me hope whenever Dan Slott bows out he gets his turn and while this is his first x-men work, Zdarsky proves he’s just as good here as is in most of his work on Howard the Duck, Jughead and Star Lord.. a weird selection I know but all classics. 

With this power outage, Franklin is worried his dad is, at least subconciously, not really trying to help him and to make matters worse teh x-men show up to offer their help.. and Franklin his birthright. The arguments made by both sides are great and I will be covering the series in full soon but in a nutshell the four dont’ want to give up their son/nephew, Reed dosen’t trust Xavier and feels he wants to use his son’s powers while the x-men feel it’s franlin’s choice and he’s old enough to make it, he belongs with them and he’ll be safer there. It also works because Franklin understandably isn’t swayed by either as neither is reallyt alking to him more at him, especially his parents .. and only tries the gate when Kitty Pryde, the two  bonded back in the 80s and a young franklin stopped her from comitting suicide long story but really moving, is the only one to tell him it’s his choice. This dosen’t go quite well though since Reed Richards, father of the year, decided to make a device to mask his son’s mutant gene and no one, including his own family, is happy about htis.  Naturally Franklin, with Val’s help, runs away.. and then as if it couldn’t get worse DOOM shows up wanting to help so now it’s a three way dance between them for hte fate of franklin. The series has gorgeous art form the dodsons a really damn compelling story and great setup for further stories for both lines and feels like the best of both franchises. It’s the x-men’s first huge impact on the rest of the marvel universe,a nd it feels like it with the ending showing that and showing this might not be the last time both sides crossover. It’s everything you could want from a crossover and i’m only being so brief because I want to review it soon as a huge fan of both groups. Easily one of the best x-men stories of the line and one of the best stories for both groups period. 

Wolverine:  We’re onto the final two, and Percy’s second book and the first solo.. and it’s logan again! Makes sense though: Wolverine only just came back from the dead, and while both is daughter and alternate future self carried the woverline banner for him, the original hasn’t gotten his own ongoing in some time. And so far.. it’s pretty good> the first issues a bit messy due to it’s lenght, but overall the book is intresting and has Logan graple with being the best at waht he does and if he can be better or if he deserves paradise while also delivering a compelling solo mission teaming Wolverine up with a federal agent who resents mutants. it also does some good world building, explaning why Krakoan drugs have things like wait lists (they want to control production closely both to avoid having the flower taken away and for quality control), and expanding the russia subplot while using Dracula of all people as a major antagonist, which is clever especailly since this isn’t his first rodeo with the x-men. Just a fun book wiht loads of promise.

Hellions: NOt much to say here as it’s hard to judge after two issues, buti f nothing else this series brought back the delightfully batshit Nanny, who just with last weeks issue offered to nurse Greycrow (who had his name changed from scalphunter because of course marvel did why wouldn’t they) and falling down. It combines humor with an odd but well thought out cast and makes Alex Summers intresting without making everyone else assholes, a hard but earned feet. If it continues to be good.. I dunno, especially since i haven’t been impressed by any of zeb wells other works especially his new mutants run, good god that one’s am ess, but so far he’s winning me over with a clever concept and roster full of deep cuts.  Final Thoughts:  I won’t be covering Empyre: X_men, though I did enjoy it and i’l save that one for next time. For now this has been a hell of a year of x-men comics, with even the weaker books still having something intresting and none being outright terribule and only one had a bad grasp on some of it’s cast and for a line this big and expansive, that’s a gold medal achivment. After YEARS of stasis the x-men have finally risen again better, bolder and stranger than ever. IS every book A+ gold star etc etc, no, but what’s important.. is that it’s all DECENT. There’s enough standout books to make it work but as i’ve made clear what isn’t the best of the best is still good or decent. There’s nothing bad, no one phoning it in or not giving an effort, everyone is trying thier hardest and succeding on SOME level even if not completely and that.. that’s truly amazing and I look forward to more of it as this line continues. Pax Krakoa and hopefully i’ll see you again. 

[365daysofj2]

Of Casseroles and Carnal Relations (Disabled!Jared 'verse, NC-17, 3/?)

Jared’s phone rings and he grins when he sees that it’s Jensen. He answers the call and puts it on speaker, setting the phone down on the table next to him. “Hey, Jensen.” “Hey! How’s it going?” “Not too bad. How was your meet?” “Well, we won, but only because the other team forfeited three races.” A cat suddenly meows audibly in the background. He hears a shuffling sound and then Jensen says, “Dean, knock it off,” in a muffled voice before he speaks to Jared again. “Sorry, one of my cats decided he wanted to say hello.” “How many cats do you have?” “Three,” answers Jensen. “Dean and Sam were littermates, and then I got Cassie a couple years later.” “So, you knit and you own three cats. Are you sure you’re not my grandmother in disguise?” Jensen laughs. “I wear cardigans, too. If I wasn’t a high school teacher I’m pretty sure I’d have to be a librarian.” “But do you knit the cardigans yourself?” There’s a short pause before Jensen responds. “Not always,” he murmurs sheepishly. “Sometimes people give them to me as gifts, along with ties with math symbols on them.” “Well, at least you teach math and not English,” Jared points out. “You have a tiny bit of masculinity left.” “Masculinity is overrated,” replies Jensen. “Not that I go around wearing lacy panties or anything—well, not since I graduated college, at least. You went to Etown, were they still doing the Rocky Horror midnight show?” Jared grins. “Yeah, they were. I played Dr. Scott all four years. Saved them from having to borrow a wheelchair from the OT department.” Jensen chuckles. “Yeah, I guess it would. The girl who played Riff-Raff when I was there could pop wheelies like nobody’s business. She tried to teach me, but I was hopeless.” “Who did you play?” “I played Brad once and Rocky twice,” answers Jensen. “I got in trouble for wearing an actual Speedo, but I was a swimmer, so I had a ton of them. I didn’t see what the big deal was, when we were allowed to wear them in the pool all the time.” Jared chokes a little at the mental image of Jensen in a Speedo and nothing else. “Do you still swim?” Jensen snorts. “You mean, do I still wear Speedos? Occasionally. You should come to the pool with me sometime. Could you get in a hot tub?” “Depends on how it’s set up,” says Jared. “If there’s steps going down, then yes.” “There are,” says Jensen. “Are you free tomorrow? I could get you a guest pass.” Jared grins. “That sounds like fun. I haven’t been in a pool in forever. I went to hydrotherapy for a couple months after I had my hip replaced, but that was almost three years ago.” “Still got your swim trunks?” “Yeah, I just gotta find them.” Jared glances over at Sadie, who’s taking a nap on her bed. “Sadie can help me look later.” “Why don’t I come help you look?” suggests Jensen. “And maybe cook you dinner?” Jared can’t help but smile. “I would really like that.” “Do you like casseroles? I make this great chicken and broccoli alfredo casserole with whole wheat pasta.” “That sounds amazing,” replies Jared. “I think we’ve got some garlic bread in the freezer, too.” “Great!” Jared hears a door creak in the background. “Let me change and pack up the food and I’ll be right over.” Jared grins. “Can’t wait. See you soon.” He ends the call and pockets his phone. Jensen gets there about half an hour later. Jared’s not sure where he lives, just that he mostly works at home. He doesn’t even know what pool he uses. Sadie opens the door for Jensen and he comes in carrying a giant grocery bag. “Where’s your kitchen?” Jared turns his chair. “Follow me.” Jensen hoists the bag onto Jared’s countertop. “I didn’t know what you’d have, so I kinda brought everything. Except the pans. I hoped you’d have those.” “What do you need?” “I need a big pot to cook the pasta, a bowl to microwave the frozen broccoli, the biggest mixing bowl you have to mix everything, and a small mixing bowl for the topping.” Jensen starts taking jars and bags and boxes out of his grocery bag. Jared wheels into the kitchen. “Sadie, come here.” The wall cabinets in the kitchen are the standard ones, but the lower cabinets have been replaced with large drawers to be more accessible to Jared. He points to one of the drawers. “Open.” Sadie pulls open the drawer with a special strap. Jensen takes the pans he needs out and sets them on the counter. “Close it,” says Jared, and Sadie pushes it closed. She repeats the process until Jensen has collected everything he needs. Jensen starts cooking the pasta and cutting up the chicken with his own knife. Jared wheels back out of the kitchen to let him work, but he sits near the dining room table and watches Jensen’s progress. Once Jensen’s got the casserole assembled and in the oven, he sets a timer and comes out to sit with Jared and Sadie. “I guess you like to cook,” says Jared as Jensen wipes a splotch of alfredo sauce off of his t-shirt. “I’m not the best at it, but I do all right,” replies Jensen. “I know my way around a kitchen, and I haven’t set anything on fire yet that wasn’t supposed to be.” Jared raises an eyebrow at that. “There are things that are supposed to be?” Jensen grins, a hint of mischief sparkling in his eyes. “I like to make alcoholic pan sauces.” “That’s awfully fancy.” Jensen shrugs. “Not really. Not once you know what you’re doing. I used to live with a classically-trained chef, so I picked up a few things here and there.” He stands up. “You got any wine? A Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio would be best.” “I think we have some mini bottle of Pinot Grigio in the pantry.” Jared sends Sadie to open the door and wheels up to it. He locates the four-pack of mini bottles and carefully lifts two out. He sits them in his lap and then carefully sets them on the counter. “There are wine glasses in the big cabinet on the left of the stove.” Jensen retrieves the wine glasses and sets them out. “It’s a proper dinner for two now,” he says, smiling. He glances at the timer. “Oh, shit, I need to put the bread in.” He pulls the bag of garlic bread out of the freezer and hunts around till he finds a baking sheet. He quickly shoves the bread into the oven and adjusts the temperature slightly. “Okay, we’re good.” He comes back to the table and sits down. “You really didn’t have to do this, you know,” says Jared. “Gen would have fixed dinner when she got home.” “Well, I wanted to,” replies Jensen. “I haven’t seen you in three days, so I wanted to do something special for you.” Jared shakes his head, but he’s grinning. “Three days. Imagine if we’d been apart for a week or two.” “If I’d been away for a whole week, I wouldn’t bother stopping to eat,” replies Jensen with a smirk. “I’d have my way with you the second I got in the door.” He sobers. “I mean—can you—?” “My dick works just fine,” says Jared with a small chuckle. “However, it takes a lot of pillows and cushions to maintain certain positions for any length of time. I can’t put weight on my knees or hands, so I’m pretty limited in what I can do.” Jensen nods slowly. “But you can do some things…?” “It’ll make sense when you see it,” Jared assures him. “You’re a young, fit, healthy guy—you’ll do fine.” He reaches out and pats Jensen’s knee. Jensen grins, but the moment is ruined by the shriek of the timer. Jensen takes the pans out of the oven and dishes up the casserole and bread and brings the two plates to the table. He returns to the counter to pour the wine and grab the silverware. Once he sits down, Jared moans out loud at the amazing smell of herby, cheesy, garlicky goodness. “I hope it tastes as good as it smells!” Jensen beams and picks up his glass. “Better, actually.” Jared takes a bite of the casserole. Jensen’s right—it tastes even better than it looks. The crumbly topping is surprisingly flavorful and the cheese mixture is deliciously gooey and thick. The chicken is moist, the broccoli crisp, and Jared’s pretty much ready to marry Jensen if this is what he’s gonna get every night. Jared moans with pleasure again and Jensen blushes in the most adorable way. Jared doesn’t even remember his wine until after he’s cleaned his plate. “Please tell me you’re leaving the leftovers,” he says between sips of wine. “I guess you can have them,” Jensen replies, pretending to begrudgingly agree. “Good, then I’ll put out.” Jared smirks as Jensen nearly spits out his wine. Jensen swallows hard and coughs lightly a couple of times. “Shit, don’t do that!” “Sorry,” says Jared. “Offer still stands, though.” He wheels back from the table and points his chair toward his bedroom. “Come on, Sadie. Time to get ready for ‘bed’.” He trusts that Jensen will hear the air quotes. Once inside his bedroom, Jared pulls off his shirt and Sadie helps him shed his shoes, socks, and jeans, dropping them in the clothes hamper. With just his boxers left, he wheels to the door. “You can come in now,” he calls to Jensen. To Sadie, he says, “Open the clothes closet.” She obeys, pulling open the door of his clothes closet, where he stores his long-neglected sex wedge. Jensen comes in and Jared points to the closet. “Can you please grab the big red pillow and put it down at the foot of the bed?” Jensen nods and complies, even though it’s clear he’s not quite sure what he’s getting into. Jared slowly stands up and Sadie sticks close to his side as he maneuvers himself into place on the wedge cushion. It’s basically a bowtie-shaped cushion that puts his ass in perfect position without him having to support his weight on his legs to do it. Jensen gets the hint and sheds his own clothes, tossing them aside and moving to the end of Jared’s bed. He nods down at Jared’s shorts. “Need a hand with those?” “Definitely.” Jensen carefully slides Jared’s boxers over his hips and then his knees and feet. Sadie comes over and grips them with her teeth, which surprises Jensen, but he lets go. She puts them in the hamper and sits at attention next to the bed. “You’re off duty,” Jared tells her. “Go lie down, pretty girl.” Sadie trots off to her bed in the corner and Jensen turns to Jared. “It’s not gonna scar her for life if we fuck in front of her?” Jared laughs and shakes his head. “She’s seen it before. She’ll be asleep before we really get going, anyway.” He gestures at his nightstand. “There’s lube and condoms in the top drawer. Make yourself useful.” Jensen chuckles and opens the drawer. He grabs a condom and the bottle of lube and raises an eyebrow. “Well, someone’s a little overconfident.” “What can I say? I’m an optimist.” Jensen comes back over and sets the supplies on the mattress next to the cushion. Then he crosses to the doorway and turns out the lights, leaving only the glow of Jared’s alarm clock and the tabletop Christmas tree in the corner he never took down. He steps into the space between Jared’s legs and captures Jared’s lips for a kiss. Jared rests his ankles on Jensen’s hips, taking the pressure off his knees. Jensen’s tongue dances around Jared’s, giving him the barest hint of the sweetness of wine and the slight tang of Italian herbs. Jared’s almost fully hard now, and he can feel Jensen’s hard length pressing against his own. Jensen obviously feels it too, because he reaches down and takes both their cocks in one meaty fist. He swipes the tip of his thumb over Jared’s slit and Jared gasps, breaking the kiss to catch his breath. Jensen jacks them both just roughly enough to make Jared’s pulse pound in his ears. Jensen kisses a trail from Jared’s jaw down to the hollow of his throat, and drops to his knees to take Jared’s substantial cock into his mouth. Jared’s nerves sizzle with electricity as Jensen flicks a bead of precome off the slit and then flutters his tongue over the sensitive spot, eliciting a full-body shiver from Jared. He wraps his legs around Jensen’s shoulders as Jensen laves a thick stripe down Jared’s shaft to the base of his cock. He teases Jared’s balls with the tip of his tongue and Jared’s not sure he’s going to last until the main event. It’s been a long fucking time, okay? Jared throws his head back and tries to remember how to breathe as Jensen does beautifully obscene things to Jared’s cock. with his mouth and tongue. Finally, Jared reaches out and pushes Jensen away. “Enough teasing,” he rasps, voice hoarse from exertion even at this early stage. “Just fuck me already.” “Geez, you’re fuckin’ bossy.” But Jensen tears open the condom packet with his teeth and rolls it on. Then he squeezes a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and slides one cautiously into Jared’s hole. Jared throws his head back and forces himself to relax and breathe through it as Jensen presses further in. He hasn’t done this since college, and it’s long overdue. Jensen presses past the ring of muscle to brush the sweet spot and Jared chokes on a groan of pleasure. “You all right?” Jensen asks in a low, breathy voice. “Peachy.” Jared squeezes his eyes shut. “Keep goin’.” Jensen does as he’s told, adding a second finger and driving Jared nearly to the brink. It’s been way too fucking long. Jared slides his ankles back down to Jensen’s narrow hips. Jensen leans forward and covers Jared’s mouth with his own, swallowing the breathy gasps and bestowing upon Jared’s tongue the sweet essence of white wine. Jensen adds a third finger and Jared nearly loses it right then and there. He breaks the kiss. “Do it,” he gasps, barely audible. Jensen crooks his fingers in a way that makes Jared see starts. Then he draws them back and eases his considerable girth into Jared’s hole. Jensen’s bigger than his compact build would suggest, and Jared has to consciously relax to let him in. Jensen draws back and runs a hand through Jared’s hair. “Relax, babe. I gotcha.” “I know.” Jared curls his fingers around the edge of the cushion as Jensen starts to thrust in earnest. It’s almost too much for Jared’s already overloaded senses. The endorphins have kicked in, and Jared’s floating on a chemical high, completely free of pain for the first time in years. He moans, long and loud, and Jensen redoubles his efforts in response. Jared goes boneless as Jensen plunders his ass in ways Jared has only dreamed about. “So close,” breathes Jared, digging his heels into Jensen’s sides. Jensen hits home once, twice, and that’s it for Jared. He comes with the force of a thunderstorm, lightning singing along his nerves from his cock all the way to his toes. Jensen stutters in his rhythm and Jared feels the warm rush of Jensen’s release soon afterwards. Jensen pulls out with exaggerated care and drops to his knees, pressing his forehead between Jared’s thighs and gasping for breath like a dying man. Jared reaches down and grasps Jensen’s hair to pull him up toward the mattress. Jensen takes the hint and crawls up alongside Jared’s cushion, sprawling out and throwing an arm over Jared’s stomach. “Y’okay?” “Never better,” Jared replies without hesitation. “How ‘bout you?” “Gimme a minute.” Jensen’s panting like a dog in heat, and he curls in on himself and scrubs a hand over his eyes. “Holy fuck, that was hot.” “All thanks to you.” Jared runs a hand through Jensen’s sweat-dampened hair. “You did all the hard work.” Jensen pushes himself up on one elbow and presses his lips to Jared’s. “Don’t sell yourself short.” Jared smirks. “Nothin’ short about me.” “I’ll say,” replies Jensen, and kisses him again.