#I promise I will post something historical | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coridallasmultipass · 11 months ago

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If it's okay for me to add something related because I first saw this on Tumblr: In the mid-2010s, I heard about there being a gay Filipino deity romance (from one culture in the Philippines - there are many different cultures and beliefs) here on Tumblr. It wasn't until years later when researching Philippine deities for fun while trying to broadly connect with my culture that I found a deep dive where someone found that the Bulan and Sidapa love story originated from the same fictional blog source, and had been circulating from new sources and fan art claiming it was historical for years before the author tried to find a non-modern historical source for the rumour, creating a kind of Berenstain/Berenstein effect on the people he asked, claiming they'd heard about the love story from a forgotten source much earlier than the 2010s, but unable to give a specific name, or the source cited claimed they didn't actually know about the romance.

While I think in this instance, a shift in narrative is obviously okay when you consider it is still a living Filipino culture, and people from that clearly find identity with this modern take (which should be asked of people from the cultures directly affected by misinfo), it should also be important not to rewrite it as 'historical fact' particularly when it has a fictional modern source that someone can directly point to as the origin when they question and search down the telephone line (like the game).

(I use the word 'fictional' only in reference to the originating blog, because the blog was unable or unwilling to provide any sources that mentioned that relationship to the deep dive author. I'm not implying said gods can't be/aren't gay. I'm not from that specific Philippine culture, and I don't have enough background knowledge to make any claims of my own. There's also no like, singular religious text/'bible' that pre-Hispanic Philippine beliefs followed as a rule/that can be consulted about this - it's not like a translation debate. There's just no textual source pre-dating the blog making the claim of the romance, and historians/oral historians aren't making the claim either.)

I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.

Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.

It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.

It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.

How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.

It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.

It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.

It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?

It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.

Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.

#sorry if i get something wrong im trying to refresh my memory as i write this #also just a cool fun fact theres a nonbinary tagalog deity that IS documented in historical texts #which was cool to find out back when i was looking all this up the first time and again just now #i promise im not biased for being tagalog it was just literally recommended reading on the same article #should also state that im also american in america and dont subscribe to belief in philippine deities (as a disclaimer)#but its still super cool to find out how socially accepting the philippines can be about lgbt issues compared with other asian countries #(even if they still face discrimination! obviously should go without saying but someones gonna twist my words i just know it)#(im reminded of the other spanish-us colony... the us. where i live as a native american also. whos tribe Chumash also had/has Two Spirit..#...historically documented in our culture. ill also never know if we had gay love stories b4 the spanish bc we were only oral tradition)#anyway thats a tangent on a tangent on a disclaimer on a tag on an anxiety filled addition to a post #anxiety bc im probably getting something wrong somewhere just know that i am always pro-gay everything all the time forever #i just wanted to add how this disappointed me when i found out the gay was not historical like i originally was made 2 believe #im in full support of modern gay #how mnay times am i gonna say that lmao (how many tags do i have left to be anxious in)#listen one time i got put on a blocklist next to actual transphobes whod hate me and im still anxious every time i post anything online now #(it was over something i said when i was first discovering my gender abt how sex and gender 'are' different and it wasnt worded the best)#and because i was pro-asexual inclusion in lgbt then exclus went and dug up that very obviously old post from my blog to have 'dirt' on me #i fucking hate ace exclusionists lmao dni with me about that topic its been like 8 years stale by now #anyway...#misinformation #disinformation #history #long post #i know theres some drama idk about the article author but i dont want to bring that into this so i didnt name the article #...but its on the aswang project if youre gonna look it up #i want to get books on philippine legends but i dont have the money and theyre not in my library so .. eventually ill read the more...#...scholarly sources on the subject but for now i only have whats online and that site has been a good jumping point imo #ok ive had this reblog open for hours now lemme just post and if someone who knows more can correct me go ahead just pls b nice i rly tried #im tired and i want to get back to my drawing i didnt wanna spend hours beng anxious abt this bc i randomly saw it while break scrolling

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hederasgarden · 28 days ago

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Finis

Summary: Lucius comes for you (this is a follow up to Post tenebras lux and Ab Initio) Pairing: Lucius Verus x F!Reader Word Count: 7.8 K (WHOOPS SORRY) Rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Angst with a HEA, sex (PIV and f receiving), mentions of spousal death/grief and other untagged themes (please message me if you’d like to know what these are). A/N: A HUGE thanks to @aliensupastar and @ryebecca for their help with the fic. Becca also made the beautiful banner as well! This is full of historical inaccuracies and I’m using both Roman and Greek mythology interchangeably. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.

Gladiator Masterlist ♡ Masterlist

Anxiety pulses beneath your skin as you lie in the dark, Lucius’s body pressed close against yours. His steady, warm breath brushes the back of your neck, but you know he's just as awake as you are. Neither of you can sleep. It’s a cruel kind of torture, pretending that nothing has changed, and that you’ll still be together when the morning light spills into the cell.

You don’t know how much time you have before they come for you. It could be hours. It could be minutes. You wish you could take Lucius inside you just once more, to have him fill every part of you with his love, his devotion. You sigh and he says your name softly, urging you to face him. The ache in your chest only intensifies when you turn and meet his eyes. No words are spoken — how could there be any that would make this easier? What could you say that would make the pain of this goodbye more bearable?

You close your eyes and breathe out. Somewhere a guard’s laughter echoes faintly, while from another cell, the deep, steady snoring of a gladiator fills the silence. Then you hear it. A sound, small but sharp: the faint jingling of keys. The scrape of metal against metal.

It’s time.

Lucius pulls you to your feet with a quiet urgency, his hands steady as he drapes the cloak over your shoulders and fastens the clasp at your throat. His touch lingers there before he dips his head to kiss you, gentle and tender. It carries the weight of something else, something final. You can’t bear the thought of it. With a sudden surge of emotion, you rise onto your toes and throw your arms around his shoulders, kissing him with a desperation that feels like a vow. It’s a promise that no matter what happens, you will find your way back to each other.

"Have faith," he whispers once you pull away, his forehead against yours. "I will see you again soon."

You swallow, the words heavy in your throat. "I have no faith left in the gods," you confess. Your lips tremble with the weight of your blasphemy. It feels like a sin, but it's the truth.

"Then have faith in me," he returns, his voice soft but unwavering. He holds your cheek in his scarred hand and your lashes flutter. "As long as there is breath in my body, I will return to you."

"Lucius…" Your voice cracks, and before you can stop it, tears slip down your cheeks.

He grasps your neck, pulling you close and guiding your cheek until it rests against his chest. The steady beat of his heart is a rhythmic comfort, so different from the frantic pounding of your own. He holds you like this moment can somehow protect you from what’s to come, and you stay like that until Ravi says your name in a low, urgent tone.

"Please, we must hurry."

You look up at Lucius one last time, desperate to memorize every line of his face, but time is slipping away, and you know there’s no more time to hold on. You step away, your heart heavy, and take Ravi’s hand.

The cool, solid grip of his fingers anchors you as you move down the dark hallway. Silence stretches out around you like a shroud. Despite your spurning of the gods, your mind drifts to Persephone, trapped in a fate not of her making. The thought lingers, haunting you, as you walk further into the darkness, but you press forward.

Because like Orpheus, if you look back, you will be lost.

–

You ride for days with a small group of men loyal to General Acacius and Lucilla, the landscape unfolding in shades of brown and green while the horizon stretches out endlessly. The dull ache in your thighs has become a constant companion, deepening with every hour spent on a saddle. The smell of horse and sweat clings stubbornly to your clothes, mingling with the dust of the road.

Moments of rest are brief and tense, and the men around you speak little of where you’re headed. You often feel Lucilla’s gaze on you as you ride, though there is little time to converse meaningfully. She looks different from the times you saw her seated beside the emperors in the arena. Her beautiful golden hair is plaited into a simple braid and her face is bare. Yet, even without the fine robes and jewelry, there is nothing common about her appearance. From the sharp cut of her high cheekbones to the elegant line of her jaw, everything about her is unmistakably royal.

She carries herself with a quiet authority that even the soldiers heed. They respect her and to your surprise, they show you the same reverence. It’s disorienting, unnerving even, but something in you is too afraid to push back against the illusion of nobility they’ve woven around you. So, you do what is required, what you learned from your time with Lucius and draw from the life you lived before you were a fisherman’s wife. You slip into the skin of someone else who is meant to be here and is worthy of the respect they offer. But it’s a mask that chafes, a weight far heavier than any shackle.

–

On the sixth day of riding, you crest a ridge, and suddenly the rugged coast unfolds before you with sparkling turquoise waters and lush hills. The soldier you ride with stops, just as stunned by the beauty as you. It’s been nearly two years since you’ve seen the ocean and smelt salt in the air. For a moment it’s as if Kronos himself has softened his grip on time and memories of your life before flood back, overwhelming and painfully beautiful. But the moment is brief, shattered when the soldier speaks.

“This will be your new home, my lady, until we receive word from the General that Rome is safe once again.”

He nudges the horse with a soft kick of his heels and the animal resumes its careful trot, disrupting loose stones as it makes its way down the steep, narrow trail. In the distance, you spot a small villa, nestled among rolling hills, its stone walls partially obscured by lush vineyards.

“Is it safe?” You question.

The young man offers you a smile over his shoulder. “There are many who are loyal to Lady Lucilla and the General. No one will know of your presence here.”

When you arrive you’re helped from the horse by another soldier, and follow behind Lucilla as she moves into the house. A row of servants greets the two of you, and the moment they see her they bow deeply. They don't look at you directly, but you feel their gaze flicker over you, just for a second, before their attention returns solely to her.

“Draw a bath for myself and my guest,” she instructs the gathered servants, handing off her dusty cloak and pushing her braid off her shoulder. “Bring fresh water and food for the men outside. See to it that they are taken care of first.”

You stand behind her, waiting for some instruction or sign of what you’re supposed to do. But as Lucilla turns and sweeps away, a young servant steps forward, offering you a shallow bow.

“Your cloak, my lady,” he says.

His words hit you with an unexpected force and you realize, for the first time in years, that you are no longer a slave.

–

You wake slowly, the dredges of your sleep lingering as you roll to your back and shield your eyes from the morning light. After nearly a week on the road, the bed you sleep in is a welcome relief. It’s more luxurious than anything you’ve ever known and you inhale the clean, citrusy scent on the sheets.

A gentle knock on your door is your only warning before a servant enters with a jug of water that she sets on a low table. She bows to you before moving to open the curtains and let sunlight flood the room. Next, she moves to the hearth, stoking a small fire with practiced movements. While she works another servant appears with fresh robes that she lays over the edge of your bed. The fabric is pale blue and finely made, trimmed in silver, but as your eyes linger on them, you can’t help but remember the last time you wore such finery.

"Domina," the new servant greets, drawing your attention away from the clothes. “May we help you dress?”

The way she addresses you, like the man last night, causes a strange, uncomfortable flutter in your chest. She does not seem to sense your discomfort and waits patiently for a reply, as sure and comfortable in her role as you are uncomfortable in yours. It feels so alien, to have someone serve you like this. Weeks ago, this was your job, your life. The thought twists in your gut.

“N-no.” You finally manage. “That will be all.”

“As you wish,” she replies, accepting your answer with a respectful nod.

You know they are here to serve you, and yet it startles you, the way they defer to you so unquestioningly.

She pauses at the door, her attention on you once again. “Lady Lucilla wishes you to break your fast with her on the terrace.”

Then she turns and quietly retreats from the room. Only once you're alone does the tightness in your throat abate, but there is another deeper discomfort that lingers. It takes you longer to dress than you expect and you’re left feeling unsure if it’s the way the garment fits or the unfamiliarity of the situation that feels so wrong.

By the time you reach the terrace, the morning sun is brighter and warmer. Lucilla is seated at a table laden with food, her fingers lightly tracing the rim of her wine cup, lost in thought. She offers you a quiet greeting as you slip into the empty chair beside her. A plate piled high with fruit is set before you; after so long on the road, your mouth waters at the sight.

You select a peach and drag it through honey. It’s halfway to your lips when the servant’s voice cuts through the stillness of the morning.

“Did you sleep well, my lady?" She asks politely.

"I am not a lady," you correct quietly, the words slipping out before you can fully think them through.

The moment you say it, you freeze. Juice drips down your fingers, a sticky trail running under the sleeve of your robe, but you don’t even notice. The servant glances at Lucilla, brows furrowed in confusion by your denial, but Lucilla simply smiles, seemingly unbothered.

"You may go now," she says to the young woman, a touch of finality in her tone. “We will call you if we have need of you.”

The servant nods and retreats without a word, her footsteps fading into the hall. Lucilla watches her go, waiting to speak until you are alone.

"I suppose you're not a lady," she says, her tone not unkind.

She delicately eats a honey cake, seemingly preoccupied, but there's something sharp and assessing in her eyes that reminds you strongly of Lucius. You chew the peach in silence, but it feels like ash in your mouth now. You’ve misstepped.

"It would be Princess, would it not?" she asks, not waiting for a response before continuing. "You are my son's wife and he is the prince of Rome."

Princess.

Wife.

Your mind doesn’t seem to know which to focus on first. Both are heavy titles, the first unexpected, but it’s the second that gives you pause. It’s a title you never expected to have again, but it’s one you cannot deny you long for.

"My lady,” you begin quietly, “We were never…married. They gave me to him as a concubine.” Though you know she understands, Lucius told her everything before you left, you still rush to clarify. "But I was never truly that. I was only ever a slave."

Lucilla hums thoughtfully, regarding you over the rim of her glass as she drinks. "You pledged yourselves to one another, did you not?" she asks.

You nod stiffly, and then she leans forward, surprising you by gently settling a hand over your chest.

"If he lives here," she murmurs, her fingers pressing lightly, "and you live in his heart, what more could the gods ask for?"

“I...I suppose,” you respond hesitantly, unsure how to finish the thought.

She smiles warmly at you as if the matter is settled, but you feel less sure. A slave, risen to the status of princess. Would the rest of Rome regard you so generously?

Lucilla seems oblivious to your doubts and with a soft, contented hum, she leans forward, turning her attention to the plate of fruits as she seems to contemplate her choices. She glances at you briefly before selecting a date, her movements slow and measured.

“When the time comes you will stand beside Lucius as his wife and the rest of Rome will see you as such. Because he will tell them to.”

The words hang in the air between you, but they do nothing to ease the gnawing discomfort building inside.

You swallow hard, trying to steady your voice. “Where I come from - what I am…it does not bother you?”

“What you were,” she corrects, holding your gaze for a beat before she continues. “But you mean, does it bother me you were once a slave?” She questions.

You nod. “I am also not Roman. I was just a fisherman’s wife,” you reply, though that title has long since been stripped from you.

“Lucius’s father was a slave and a gladiator,” Lucilla replies, her gaze softening when she speaks of him. The love and longing in her words feel fresh, as though Lucius’s father still lingers in her mind after all these years.

You clasp your hands together, your fingers curling slightly, stroking your thumb over your knuckles. You exhale and meet her gaze again.

“He was also once a general, was he not?” you question, half unsure why you’re still pressing the point. Maybe it’s the lingering unease, the feeling that you don't belong here. Why should it be so simple?

Lucilla sets her glass down with quiet deliberation. Her eyes meet yours, steady and unflinching.

“In the Rome my father believed in,” she begins, “anyone could rise to greatness, regardless of their past. It was not about where you started, but what you did with the chances the gods gave to you.”

For a moment you let yourself imagine the world she describes — one where people can transform, where their past does not determine their worth. You want to believe her, to let the fragile embers of hope her son ignited in you months ago bloom into something real. But doubt is a hard thing to shake.

“It’s a beautiful dream,” you say, unsure if you quite believe her words. “Your father sounds like a great man.”

Lucilla smiles, sadness flickering in her eyes. “He was,” she replies. “I see so much of Lucius in him. His strength. His sense of honor.” Then, with an unexpected tenderness, she adds, “I think he would have liked you.”

“You honor me,” you respond, lowering your gaze. The weight of her acceptance feels heavier than you expect.

Lucilla shifts closer, her knees brushing yours. She says your name quietly and you look up.

“I know you may not see it yet, but not everyone could have survived what you have and come out stronger,” she tells you, her voice steady but filled with a quiet conviction. “That is your gift. And now you must decide how you wish to wield that power.”

“Wield it?” you ask, confusion threading through your words. "I have no desire to rule."

Lucilla’s expression eases, but she doesn’t falter. "No," she agrees. "Neither did I. But that does not mean you cannot help Lucius rebuild Rome into something stronger, something better. If you choose to."

You’ve spent most of your life at the mercy of forces larger than yourself, swept along by events outside your control. The thought of the power she speaks of is daunting, almost uncomfortable.

“But what can I do?”

“In this world, there are many ways to hold power. Not all of them are visible, but they are just as effective.” Lucilla explains. “True strength lies in shaping the course of events without ever appearing to control them.”

You frown slightly. “I do not know how to achieve that.”

Lucilla tilts her head, her smile knowing. "You have already mastered the basics from your time in the arena. I can teach you the rest.”

You’re silent for a long moment, processing her words.

“You truly believe I am capable of this?”

“Yes,” she says.

There’s a certainty and knowing in her tone, so like her son’s, a belief that you are worthy — even if you can’t yet see it in yourself. A wave of emotion rises within you. You want to be worthy of Lucius’s love, and of Lucilla’s faith in you.

Despite the doubt you lift your chin and straighten your shoulders. “Teach me.”

–

As the weeks slip by, you fall into a rhythm with Lucilla that feels almost comforting in its predictability, and certainly far more steady than the chaos of your days in the Colosseum. Afternoons are spent learning to be a proper Roman woman. At first, the lessons are as expected: how to dress, how to speak, and how to move with the elegance and poise that mark a lady of high status. But soon the lessons grow more layered, more intricate. Slowly, you begin to learn to move through the world with intention, to shape it and, in time, make it yield to your will.

Yet, no matter how much of your time is occupied, your worry for Lucius never fully fades. It hovers at the edges of your thoughts, a persistent shadow on your periphery that remains there despite Lucilla's attempts to keep you busy. The only moments you can quiet your mind are in the early hours of the day, when the sun is just a faint promise of light that lingers below the horizon and the villa is quiet.

On those mornings you rise without the aid of the servants, draping a heavy cloak over your shoulders and heading to the kitchen where the remnants of yesterday’s meal sit on the counter. There you gather the bread still fragrant with yeast and ripened figs and wrap them in a clean cloth. When you step outside, a wave of dizziness passes through you, a light-headedness that’s become more frequent of late as your stress and anxiety grow. You pause to steady yourself against the cool stone of the villa before you’re able to shake the feeling.

Felix, the same young soldier you rode with from Rome, is waiting for you. He leans against the wall, eyes heavy with sleep, but he rouses himself quickly as he sees you approach. Without a word, he falls in behind you as you begin the descent down the winding path that leads to the sea. By the time you reach the bottom, the path opens up to the edge of the old fishing dock. You unwrap the cloth and tear off a piece of bread, breaking it in half, and hand it to Felix along with one of the figs. He takes a seat on the short stone wall and you continue to the dock.

The planks groan as you make your way to the end where the ocean stretches out before you into nothingness. You lower yourself until your legs dangle over the water. For a moment, there is only the sound of the waves lapping against the shore, gentle and rhythmic. Then, over the quiet, you hear the fishermen further down the coast. Their voices carry on the wind as they begin their work for the day, preparing their boats and nets for the first catch.

The first time you came here, you expected the grief you carried for your lost husband would break over you like a swell, sharp and sudden. But it didn’t. That ache, that quiet, constant ache was still there as you suspect it always would be but somewhere along the way that wound had become a scar. Simply a part of you, like the salt in the air or the brine in the sea.

You break your fast with a fig, savoring the sweetness of its soft flesh until a sudden wave of nausea stirs in the pit of your stomach. It’s brief, but sharp enough to make you pause before swallowing. You will it to pass and it does though it seems to linger longer and longer lately. You brush the thought away and finish your meal, remaining on the dock until the sun’s light begins to break through the clouds, casting a soft, golden glow on the water. The heat sinks into your skin and you close your eyes, accepting its warm touch. In the quiet your mind drifts, as it always does, to Lucius and the pain of your separation deepens.

Was he sitting somewhere, feeling this same warmth? Was he safe? Had the plans he set in motion succeeded? The questions swirl in your mind like the restless current. You try to picture him as you saw him last, steady and focused, but all you can conjure is the look of fear in his deep, dark-set eyes the night of Macrinus' party. Anxiety and dread return to you and tears threaten to fall.

The urge to push the emotion down, to shield yourself from its pull is strong, but then, you remember Lucilla’s lesson. With a quiet exhale you drop your shoulders and accept the feeling, letting it pass over until it ebbs into nothingness. You take slow and steady breaths, gaining control of yourself once more.

“Princess,” Felix greets, wood creaking under his feet. “We must return.”

The title hangs in the air, a strange thing even after all these weeks. He says it so effortlessly, as if it has always been this way. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to it.

“Perhaps there will be news today,” he suggests encouragingly.

“Perhaps,” you agree, accepting his offered hand.

By the time you finish your ascent, perspiration dots your hairline, and sweat clings to your skin. The gentle breeze that stirs through the air is a welcome relief, helping to lift the heat that has settled into your body. You reach for the clasp of your cloak, ready to shed it, when the sharp sound of metal on steel cuts through the air. Your hand freezes mid-motion, and you realize that Felix has unsheathed his sword.

Before you can question him, you register the presence of unfamiliar horses and men in the courtyard. The dust they’ve kicked up swirls in the air, and you cover your mouth with your sleeve.

“Stay behind me,” Felix urges. His free hand touches your hip briefly to guide you closer to him.

Though you do as he asks you can’t help but scan the gathered men for a familiar face, hope and dread tangling together. You find none and terror settles over you like a heavy shroud. Felix rolls his shoulders, widening his stance as he lifts his sword. There are too many men for him to fight but he stands firm, seemingly ready to lay down his life for you. It’s a sobering realization.

You glance towards the house, worried for Lucilla when you catch sight of a figure in the doorway. Even with his back to you, you recognize Lucius. His posture is stooped with weariness, but his presence still commands the air around him as he speaks with his mother and an older man beside her.

“Felix,” you whisper, fingers curling into the fabric of his cloak.

He shifts to look at you, but you cannot tear your gaze from Lucius, greedily drinking him in like a mirage in the desert, terrified if you blink that he’ll vanish. His dark brown hair is matted with dirt and sweat, his clothes torn and stained. You can see his bare arms are streaked with cuts and bruises and a bloody bandage, hastily wrapped around his left bicep, hangs loose. The sight of him is a brutal testament to his journey and your chest aches at the thought of all he’s been through.

But he’s here. Alive.

Before you realize it, you’re moving towards him. There is nothing dignified in the way you throw yourself into his arms when he turns to face you, colliding into him with enough force to send him staggering back. His arms wrap around you, steadying you both, and you bury your face against him. Your fingers twist into the hair at the nape of his neck as if you’re trying to anchor yourself to him.

Lucius says your name and a great, painful sob bursts from within you. He pulls away just enough to stroke your face and press his forehead to yours. His touch is gentle yet trembling, as though he's trying to reassure himself that you're real, that this moment is real.

“I am here,” he murmurs, “I have returned to you, just as I promised.”

You move closer to him, still shaking, and with a fierceness you can’t contain, you whisper, “Had you not, I would have gone to Pluto himself.”

“I have no doubt,” he replies, a wry smile on his lip.

Together, you breathe the same air, the rhythm of your heart easing. When you brush your nose against his, he tilts his head, letting his lips graze yours in an achingly sweet kiss. Every part of you longs to lose yourself in it, but you’re acutely aware of your surroundings — and of the role you must play.

With a quiet effort, you pull yourself from Lucius. Heat blooms in your cheeks when you realize nearly everyone is watching the two of you, but Lucius feels no such shame. He grasps your hand in his and with a proud tilt of his jaw, tugs you forward. Lucilla smiles warmly as you approach and introduces the man at her side as her husband, General Acacius.

“I have heard so much about you from Lucius,” Acacius shares, watching you with a mix of admiration and curiosity. “You are all he would speak of these last few weeks.”

You dip your head, both embarrassed and oddly pleased by the thought of Lucius talking about you to others.

“I have grown fond of her as well,” Lucilla admits. You feel her light touch on your arm before she withdraws and shifts her attention to her son and husband. “I wish to hear everything that has transpired in Rome, but you are both in need of a bath. Go,” she commands lightly.

Acacius turns to his wife with an affectionate look. He rests his fist over his chest, bowing deeply. “As my lady commands.”

You smile at Lucius, squeezing his hand. "Go," you encourage him. "We must see to it that the men are taken care of. They will need food, water, and a place to rest."

Lucius glances at his mother, and then his gaze shifts back to you. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes, surprise, perhaps, but he masks it quickly. He leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek, the gesture laden with affection. Then, with a final glance, he turns to Acacius and follows the older man out of the room.

You watch them leave and then look at Lucilla. She meets your gaze and offers a subtle but approving nod. It’s a quiet gesture but with it, the weight of responsibility settles heavily upon your shoulders. You take a deep breath, steadying yourself, before stepping forward and catching the attention of two servants nearby. Their eyes meet yours with attentive expectation as you give them clear instructions on how best to tend to the garrison of soldiers gathered in the courtyard.

Every detail must be accounted for. These are the men who helped Lucius free Rome and brought him home safely to you. They deserve your care and your respect. But more than that, you understand something deeper: how you treat them now will not be forgotten. These soldiers will remember how they were received — whether with kindness, attention, and dignity or with indifference — and they will speak of it when they leave here.

Caring for them is not simply fulfilling a duty. You are establishing a connection, a foundation of trust and goodwill that will extend beyond this moment.

–

You find Lucius in your room sometime later, seemingly lost in thought. He drinks deeply from a cup of wine, and you take a moment to study his profile, content to simply watch him. The soft glow of the hearth casts shadows across his face, blurring the sharp lines of his features. His hair and skin are still damp from the bath, and he wears nothing but a simple towel, cinched tightly around his waist. Though weary, he seems more relaxed than you can ever recall seeing him.

When he lowers his cup, his eyes meet yours. "How are the men?" he ask with a smile.

“They are being taken care of," you reply. “They deserve it after what they’ve done for you."

Lucius steps closer, his hands reaching to cup your face. The familiar warmth of his calloused palms is grounding, a silent comfort.

"You have done well," he says, his voice thick with gratitude. "I am proud of you."

In his gaze, you see more than just affection – there’s respect. You try to look away, overwhelmed, but he holds your eyes, unwilling to let you break the connection.

"I am doing what needs to be done," you reply quietly. "For Rome. For you."

“For Rome?” He questions. “Since when do you speak so fondly of her?”

“Since I have fallen in love with a Roman,” you confess.

A smile tugs at the corners of Lucius’s lips, his eyes softening as he looks at you. You reach up, drawn to the familiar comfort of his touch, and curl your fingers over his. But when you brush over the bare skin of his finger, you realize the ring he’s worn as long as you’ve known him is gone.

“Lucius,” you breathe. “Your ring…”

His eyes close and a tremor passes through his body, an echo of a long-buried pain. When his hands fall from your face you mourn the loss of his touch.

“I returned it to the sea,” he says roughly, as if the words themselves are heavy. “Where it ended.”

You stare at him, shocked.

“I do not need it any longer,” Lucius continues quietly, trying to ease the air between you. “I have avenged her.”

A quiet ache blooms inside you as you think of your own wedding band, the one taken from you when you were made a prisoner of Rome. You remember its weight and shape, your thumb often tracing the space where it used to sit as if it could somehow conjure it back. You wonder if it hadn't been stolen from you, if you could let it go as Lucius has done.

“I carry Arashat with me. In my blood, in my bones.” His eyes open then, startlingly blue and clear. “It is the same way your husband still lives inside you.”

Your lip trembles and you sway, your body caught in the pull of something too deep for words. Before you ever fell in love with Lucius, before his touch became something that soothed the ache inside you, you forged a connection through shared grief. You could not escape those you lost, no matter how many years passed. But neither of you would ever want to.

Lucius’s voice breaks through the silence, his words raw and vulnerable. “More than that, it felt wrong to still wear it,” he admits. “When I love you the way a husband should love his wife.”

Your lips part, the words unable to form as they twist inside you. "A wife?" you repeat. You're unsure whether they should be a question or an answer.

He smiles, his lips brushing over yours in the gentlest of kisses. “My wife,” he confirms. “If you will have me.”

A bubble of laughter escapes your chest and you push forward, capturing his lips with yours in a possessive, claiming kiss. For Lucilla to bestow that title upon you was one thing, but to hear it from Lucius —asking you to take it — feels like something you didn’t realize you were waiting for.

“Yes,” you whisper, the word barely escaping in the space between you. “Yes, I will have you.”

Lucius urges you toward the bed, his mouth devouring yours. You fall together into the soft sheets and the weight of him almost steals your breath, but he hardly seems to notice. He pulls at your dress, baring your shoulder to his hungry lips.

"I have dreamed of this every night," he breathes against your skin. "Your warmth. Your sweetness."

Need flares hotly in your belly and you aid Lucius in removing your clothes. When you are bare to him he gazes down at you, his teeth catching his lower lip in an almost unconscious gesture of desire. Those sharp eyes see all, cataloging the way you sigh and arch your back when his large hands cup your breasts. Even his tender touch feels overwhelming and it’s almost painful the way his roughened fingers tease the sensitive peaks of your nipples

You tremble when his hands sweep lower, ghosting over your stomach to frame your hips. The brief pressure of his touch is soothing and you exhale as he moves down your body, finally settling between your parted thighs. In the flickering light, you see a hunger in his eyes, something so consuming it wipes away the weariness that’s clung to him since he’s returned.

“I fought for Rome, but I fought for this too,” he admits. "You are far sweeter than any honey.”

His words twist your stomach pleasantly and your fingers brush an errant curl from his forehead.

“Lucius…”

“Yes, touch me,” he encourages, lowering his mouth to you.

You drag your nails gently over the back of his neck, tracing the curve of his scalp, and feel him shudder in response. His breath falls over your skin and you lift your hips. Scars old and new catch on your fingertips as your hands roam over his broad shoulders. There’s nothing hurried about Lucius’s touch, it’s a slow exploration of your body, something he was denied last time.

Each brush of his tongue sends a surge of warmth through you and you respond by threading your fingers through his hair and tugging him closer. You need more and he gives it to you, delving deeper, greedy, and desperate for your taste. Your heart beats faster as one finger and then another slips easily inside you. He curls them up and seals his mouth over the most sensitive part of you, applying a dizzying amount of pressure. As he drinks from you his fingers move like a wave, a rhythmic caress that draws you closer and closer to the inevitable edge.

“Please,” you gasp, drawing your knees towards your chest and riding his face with a desperation that would shame you were it not for the way Lucius responds with a needy groan. There’s a fleeting moment where it feels like the sensations he drags from your body are too much to contain, but then they overflow and you let out a desperate cry of relief.

Lucius does not relent until you push at his head. Then, he stares up at you, his mouth slightly parted, his face flushed. Your fingers have made a mess of his hair and his beard glistens with your arousal. He looks entirely too pleased with himself as he crawls up your body, pausing briefly to pull the towel from his waist.

“My wife, my wife,” he murmurs. “Mine.”

“My husband,” you whisper back, curling your leg over his hip as he sinks inside you, filling you completely.

A range of emotions flicker across his face — joy and pleasure, rapture and relief — each one passing like a fleeting wave, too intense to hold but impossible to ignore. You draw him close and his chest slides against yours. The air around you feels warm and heavy, thick with significance of the moment. Lucius’s labored breaths, slow and steady, fills the space, becoming the only rhythm that matters.

You stare into his blue eyes as you climb higher and higher together. There’s no need for words here, just him and the way he moves above you and inside you. He almost looks anguished as he strains and pants, pressing his forehead to yours. You hold him tightly, eyes sliding closed as something beautiful unfurls inside and everything goes quiet.

After, you remain entwined, bodies tangled, until the warmth of your skin cools and the cadence of your breath slows. Only then does Lucius pull away, and his absence creates a hollow ache that lingers. It only eases once he returns, drawing you close and wrapping his arm around your waist. He rests his head against your stomach, his gaze lifting to meet yours. You run your fingers through his hair, savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment.

“I thought about this often,” he admits quietly. “Of seeing you. Holding you.” He pauses, and in the stillness of the moment, you can feel the weight of everything he’s been through, every battle, every loss, every moment of doubt. "There were so many times I thought this would not be my fate.”

The raw emotion in his voice makes your throat tighten, and tears prick at the corners of your eyes. It’s a feeling you’ve carried too, that you might never see him again.

“But you are here now, with me,” you remind him, resting your palm against his cheek. He sighs and you study his face. “Yet something troubles you.”

He shakes his head in denial, but the movement is half-hearted, a fleeting attempt to hide what he feels. Your fingers gently brush over the space between his brows, where the faintest line of worry has settled.

“This tells me otherwise,” you say with a knowing look.

He doesn’t say anything at first. His eyes search yours, as though he’s trying to find the words to explain what’s inside him.

“For so long I have been sustained by vengeance. It was always the next fight, the next battle, the next plan.” He closes his eyes and you can see the deep grooves time has etched into his face, the shadows of everything he's survived. “I did not let myself think about what would happen after all of this.”

“You rebuild Rome,” you tell him, the words simple but resolute.

His gaze doesn’t waver as he looks at you and he asks, “Is that what you want? Truly?”

“I want you. I want a life of peace and happiness,” you tell him, your fingers gently carding through his hair in a quiet reassurance. “Your grandfather’s dream would give that to me and so many others.”

“What else do you imagine in this life of ours?” he questions.

There’s a quiet intensity behind his question and he watches you closely, almost like he’s searching for something.

“What is it you imagine?” You ask.

"At times, I wondered..." he trails off, exhaling slowly, and turning his head so that his gaze drifts to the ceiling. The silence between you stretches and you watch the muscles of his throat work as he swallows hard. He seems to measure his words, as if what he’s about to say carries more significance than he’s ready to give voice to.

“I thought I might find you with child when I returned,” he whispers, the longing in his voice palpable.

With child. The phrase lingers in your mind, tugging at something just beyond your reach. A nagging thought, one you’ve pushed away too many times, starts to surface. But before you can grasp it, Lucius's next words pull you back.

“I imagined a little boy with your eyes…or a girl with your smile.” He continues, the corner of his mouth lifting wistfully to transform his face into something even more handsome. “Children that would have your kindness, your goodness.”

His confession is a painful one, unearthing a hope you buried so deep you almost forgot it existed. It was a dream you never let yourself entertain, because you knew, deep down, that if you planted that seed, nurtured it even for a moment, you’d never recover from its loss.

When Lucius looks back to you the question is clear in his eyes. Your answer comes before you can give it conscious thought.

“Yes,” you assure him. How could you not want a child with the same fierce tenderness that Lucius carries in his heart? Someone who would inherit the best of both of you.

Lucius rises from your lap and draws you into his embrace.

“The thought of your growing round with my child is a prospect I look forward to,” he admits, resting his hand on the soft flesh of your belly.

A jolt of something tightens in your lower abdomen at his touch, an unfamiliar flutter that gives you pause. And with it, the errant thought that had lingered at the edges of your mind, too fleeting to catch, comes rushing back into focus.

You think of the dull, almost cramping sensation you’ve been attributing to the coming of your menses. How it never quite felt right. Too mild, too inconsistent. And the waves of nausea and exhaustion that have plagued you over the past few weeks alongside the other subtle changes in your body, small things that you dismissed as stress and anxiety.

But now, as his hand lingers there, warm and steady against your skin, the truth unfurls in your mind, clear and undeniable.

You’re already pregnant.

Lucius senses the shift in your demeanor and his brow furrows in concern. "What is wrong?" he asks.

“I do not think you will have to wait long,” you whisper with a shaky exhale. “I-I…I’ve been feeling strange these last weeks. I thought it was stress but…”

Lucius’s finger flexes against your belly, his gaze briefly flickering to your hand where it rests over his. Then, his eyes return to your face, and his words come soft but certain. “You have not bled.”

You shake your head and the hope and joy that suffuses every part of your body is almost crushing in its intensity. You can't hold it back anymore. Tearful joy spills from your eyes, and a breathless laugh escapes you, fragile and free all at once.

“A child,” Lucius breathes.

The tender look of hope on his face and the love in his gaze is more beautiful than anything you could have imagined. His hand moves from your belly to cup your face, the touch so gentle it feels like something sacred. He pulls you into his arms, and for a long, perfect moment, you let yourself sink into the warmth of his embrace. His lips press softly against yours, so tender, almost reverent, as if this kiss is a quiet vow, a promise of everything to come.

When he pulls back, his forehead stays against yours, his breath mingling with yours. The love in his eyes is deep, unshakable and you know with certainty that this moment is not just the beginning of your child’s life, but the beginning of a life the two of you deserve. Together.

–

The chariot jolts, the rough motion throwing you off balance, but Lucius quickly steadies you with a firm hand on the small of your back. His touch seeps through the fabric of your white gown, grounding you as you lean into him instinctively. The chaos of the parade is overwhelming. Crowds line the street and the air buzzes with anticipation as the noise of their voices fills your ears. They chant your husband’s name, eager to see the savior of Rome.

Your fingers instinctively brush over the diadem resting delicately on your head. The unfamiliar weight of it pulls at your scalp. Despite the servants’ careful work in securing it to your hair, a small, irrational fear grips you: what if it slips off, and everyone sees you are not worthy of it all?

You were never meant to be in the spotlight like this but here you are, at the heart of it with Lucius beside you. He is poised and relaxed, lifting a hand to acknowledge the crowd. Behind you, Lucilla and Acacius ride in their own chariot, looking effortlessly graceful. Lucilla catches your eye, offering you an encouraging smile, and you return it.

As the chariot moves forward, your gaze drifts toward the Colosseum. It rises in the distance, dominating the skyline. You expect to feel something, fear or anger perhaps, but instead, there is nothing. The Colosseum, that life of struggle and survival, is no longer the centerpiece of your world. It is behind you and Palatine Hill rises before you, a symbol of your new home and life.

Hesitantly, your hand rises to offer a slow, deliberate wave to the crowd. The noise of their adoration intensifies and within the cries, you hear a shout of your own name and title mingled with Lucius’s. Hearing it sends a jolt through you. For a fleeting moment, the world seems to pause around you as the weight of everything settles in your chest. Like Caesar preparing to cross the Rubicon, you are standing on the precipice of something immense and there is no turning back. You can only move forward.

With that realization, you feel something shift deep within you, a quiet certainty taking root. It starts in your swollen belly, like the first spark of a fire, and spreads steadily outward, filling every part of you with a warmth you didn’t know you were missing. For the first time, you understand that you are not just here to fulfill Lucius’ dream and legacy. You are here for yourself and all those who once stood where you did — silent, powerless, nameless.

You came to Rome a slave, but now, you are so much more. You are a wife, a princess, and soon, a mother – empowered and loved. And for the first time, you find you are not afraid.

The future is open to you, waiting to be shaped, and you are prepared to meet it head-on.

♡

Also part of this series:

Ab Initio

Post tenebras lux

Protego te

My inbox is open for your thoughts on this story, requests for drabbles with Lucius and further scenes with Lucius and the Fisherman's Wife.

#lucius verus #lucius versus x reader #lucius verus x you #gladiator ii #gladiator 2 #paul mescal #Lucius and the Fisherman's Wife

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allfearstofallto · 11 months ago

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Okay okay last one, I swear!! I just have so many ideas! But three more for the yandere historical au and I'm finished, pinky promise!!

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Master Duelist! Xiao who has never lost a fight. Always challenged, but never the one to initiate, he was one of the reasons your family has such high honor. Even though many lords of higher status have offered to buy him for a pretty penny, he stays loyal to your family. Specifically to you. His opponents who see you in the crowd during their duel, know to just give up, he fights harder when you're watching. Every favor, embroidered handkerchiefs, that you'd given him, hang like trophies in his room. But upon learning that you're to be wed soon, he stands and challenges your fiance to a duel for your hand, one that he knows he'll win.

Butler! Thoma who has been in your family for years. Taken in by your parents and raised to be your right hand, the two of you grew up to be close friends, rather than typical master and servant. Despite this, he still finds ways to scold you, while also telling you how much of a gracious lady you've grown into. Maybe your closeness with him is why you decide to tell him of a rendezvous you're planning to have with a commoner boy that you've grown to like. Only, suddenly your home is more guarded than usual and your parents seem even more strict with you than before, almost like they know something you never told them.

Former King! Zhongli who steps down from his post shortly after his son becomes of age. While he no longer has his title, he's still heavily respected and praised by all. He saw you at a ball and formally invited you to the royal palace. Your family excitedly rushes you into a carriage, thinking the invite is for meeting with the newly crowned King instead. Only, when you get there, Zhongli is truly the only one waiting for you. He sits you down next to him and compliments you almost incessantly, ending the conversation by asking you if you think he's too old to be considering a second marriage.

Forgive me if these are bad!! This is my first time writing for any of these characters and I wanted to try!!

#maiistalking<3 #genshin #genshin x reader #yandere genshin #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere x you #genshin impact #yandere imagines #yandere Xiao #yandere Xiao x reader #yandere thoma #yandere thoma x reader #yandere Zhongli #yandere Zhongli x reader

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ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral · 8 months ago

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I was going to post a different au idea tonight, but this idea caught me in a death-grip and would not let me go, so enjoy!

Note: You can find the translations for the old English at the end!

EDIT: You can find part two of this au here, and part three here!

In this au, Merlin dies at Camlann instead of Arthur, and his magic was diffused into the king and kingdom he so loved upon his death, making everyone in Camelot immortal. After a few centuries of thriving though, Merlin's magic starts to fade, and everyone falls into an almost comatose state. It keeps them all alive and protected the kingdom from intruders, but it could not keep them awake. However, the people of Camelot did not worry about this. Both the druids and the dragon had proclaimed that Merlin would return to the world of the living again one day. So, they were content to sleep peacefully and await the day of their friend's return. Slowly, the earth rose up to swallow Camelot, and the sleeping kingdom was buried underneath the earth.

Fast forward to modern day, and Merlin's been reincarnated without any of his memories or his magic. He winds up as an archeologist, and eventually is sent out to a promising dig site on the border between England and Wales. There, his team unearths a window into an old fortress. Their sonar equipment has revealed a full castle underneath their feet, and they have everything prepped for a preliminary excavation! They've already found coins and a few blades on the site, dating back to the 6th century!

Now, stories of the "immortal kingdom of Camelot" and its undying and legendary king Arthur were commonplace, and Merlin quite enjoyed those stories as a child. However, historians doubted if Camelot was ever a real kingdom at all, and no one past the age of six believed in an immortal kingdom! Merlin, deep down, was hoping that the dig site was indeed the historical kingdom Camelot itself, as much of the kingdom's history had been lost and buried under ridiculous myths about magic and dragons.

However, the issue is that the window that they discovered is pretty small. Merlin, as the skinniest out of all of them, would probably be the only one who could fit through it. Excitedly, Merlin puts on his safety harness and hard hat and descends through the window and into the castle.

Merlin explores for a bit, constantly telling the team on the surface all about the amazingly preserved artifacts in the castle. There's tapestries, suits of armor, furniture, even clothing still in wardrobes all in perfect condition! The entire team is besides themselves with excitement! They've just made the most important discovery of their careers!

Merlin spends a few more days exploring the castle by himself. Eventually, he comes to a rather impressive and ornately decorated door and decides to find out what's behind it. It must be something pretty important to warrant such an impressive door! Perhaps the throne room?

As he opens the door though, he lets out a loud gasp, shocked by two things in the room. First, the large round table in the middle of the room. He knew that he was near the supposed site of the lost kingdom of Camelot, but this confirmed it! All of the legends spoke about king Arthur's round table, and here it was before him, confirming the legends!

However, Merlin's elation was dashed by the second thing he noticed: bodies. There were bodies occupying the seats around the table, all of them slumped over or slouching in their seats with their eyes closed, but they were not skeletal remains that should have been there, seeing as how no one had set foot in those room for hundreds of years. No, these people looked like they had only been there for a day, with no signs of decay on them.

As Merlin's fear began to rise, he tried to reason with himself. Maybe this kingdom had surprisingly advanced embalming techniques and had unusual burial rituals? What other explanation could there possibly be?

As Merlin reported the bodies to his colleagues on the surface, they warned him to be careful is something didn't feel right, which it certainly didn't. Something about these bodies creeped Merlin out in a way that no other human remains had ever done. However, Merlin's unease lessened somewhat as he described the bodies to his colleagues, his excitement at such a well-preserved find started eclipsing his fear.

There were in total five male bodies and one female body, with four of the male bodies being clad in chainmail, surcoats, trousers, and long bright red capes with an insignia of a golden dragon sown into it. The other male body was similarly clad in chainmail and a cape, but wore a golden crown on his head. Lastly, the lone female body, who was sitting to the left of the crowned male body, was a dark-skinned woman wearing an ornate and richly decorated dress along with a small silver crown on her head.

Merlin's heart stuttered in his chest as he came to the natural conclusion of these observations: he had just found the perfectly-preserved bodies of a king, queen, and four knights. Forget making his career, Merlin was going to be put in the history books for this discovery! Quickly, he called his colleagues (who had finally found a way to safely widen the entrance at the window) to follow the line of his harness and join him in the room he had just found. They needed to see this!

Finally turning away from the bodies, Merlin let his gaze wander around the room. He takes note of the impressively high ceilings for the time period, the repetition of the dragon crest on decorations around the room, and the designs carved into the wood of the round table. However, one of the most intriguing elements of the room, was the lone empty chair sitting next to the king.

The fact that there was only one empty chair was strange enough, but there were a few even stranger elements to the chair. The chair was directly to the right of the king, presumably reserved for the king's right hand, his chief advisor. Why would such an important figure be missing here? Another puzzling feature of the chair was the scrap of red cloth that was tied around one of the arms of the chair.

Stepping closer to examine the little piece of cloth, he could see at first glance that the cloth was old, battered, and made with cheap material, unlike the richer cloth that made up the knights' and kings' capes. What was this random piece of cloth doing tied around the arm of this chair, which presumedly belonged to a powerful figure in the kingdom?

A sudden piercing shriek caused Merlin to jump into the air. He looked up and across the table, relieved to see that it was just four of his colleagues who had just entered the room. They must've been freaked out by the well-preserved bodies too! Merlin certainly couldn't blame them for such a reaction.

Merlin chuckled a bit and spoke to his frightened coworkers. "Well, what did I tell you? This is going to shock the world! We've just made the discovery of a lifetime!"

However, his colleagues were only getting paler by the second, not even looking at him, instead looking... past him? Merlin frowned a bit and turned to look over his left shoulder, at the body of the king, which was where his coworkers were staring. What could possibly...

His eyes were open. His eyes were definitely not open before.

As soon as his brain caught up with what his eyes were seeing, Merlin let out a panicked shriek and flung himself backwards, away from the king who he swore was dead just a second ago what the fuck was happening?!

Unfortunately, Merlin desperate attempt to get away from the maybe-undead king sent him sprawling to the ground, having tripped over the empty chair, and his shriek had jolted his colleagues into action. The four of them ran forwards and grabbed ahold of Merlin, dragging him back towards the entrance to the room while never taking their eyes off of the maybe-undead king.

As they made their way back to the entrance though, something truly horrifying happened. The king moved. He blinked and moved his neck to track their movements.

Oh god, that thing was awake and aware that they were here! They needed to get out of there!

Together, the group turned and ran as quickly as they could back towards the entrance. Horrifyingly, as soon as they were out of sight of the king, they could hear the screeching sound of a chair sliding against the stone floor. Each one of them could feel their hearts pounding with fear as they all realized at once: the king, whatever he was, was going to chase after them.

They nearly all have heart attacks when they hear a voice roaring after them, "Gripan híe! Híe syndon fandian to niman Myrddin!"

After a tense few minutes of running with the terrifying echo of boots chasing after them ringing in their ears, they finally reached the hallway connecting to their window entrance. They could see the light outside! They were almost free!

Fear gripped all of their chests, however, when a group of what should have been corpses blocked their path, cutting them off from the sight of the daylight. For a second, Merlin thought about making a break for it and attempts to run through them, but then the probably-undead knights unsheathed their swords (which were still somehow sharp and pristine after 1500 years, this was getting ridiculous!)

The group quickly turned around, hoping to run back and perhaps find another path towards their freedom, only to have their hopes dashed by the sight of the undead king storming towards them with his sword (why was it golden?) unsheathed and rage in his eyes.

Looking between them, the closest thing that they had to a weapon were a couple hard hats. They were doomed, and they could see their death marching towards them.

Getting closer, the king furiously shouted at them again with unfamiliar words. "Hū darrst þū āsceacan hine from mē! Iċ hæbbe bīdode ofer þūsend geara for þisne tīman, and þū ātēowedest tō nīefre hine from mē stelan! Þū scealt āgildan for þis!"

The group of five archeologists are shaking in their boots at this point, fearing for their lives. Each of them had reached the only logical conclusion about their ludicrous and possibly deadly situation: they must have woken the king and his knights from their eternal rest, and they were now angry at the archeologists for disturbing their final resting place.

As the knights close in on them and grab ahold of each of them, they're all prepared for the worst. As the king barks commands at the knights, all of the archeologists are prepared to be meet with some horrible death.

"Nimðað þa ungewelwieras to ðære cyrcan cwellan, wē magon dēmian mid him æfter. Gwaine, nim Myrddin to his geardas and hafa Gaius locian ofer hine. And be mildheort, he sceal hæbbe geferod eft fram Avalon and mæg swilc bēon in pinunge fram his wundum! Gecyða eft to mē mid Gaius's gemetungum þonne hē geendod hæfð."

At the king's commands, the knights nodded, and while Merlin was led down the hallway to the right, the others were led back down the dark hallway from which they had fled. Merlin tried to call out to his colleagues and to shove his way out of the knight's grip, but the knight responded by picking Merlin up and slinging him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, eliminating Merlin's ability to fight back.

Merlin tried to calm his mind and to avoid thoughts of what horrible fate would be in store for him at his destination. His treacherous mind spun up terrible theories as to why he had been separated from his group, each one more horrifying than the last.

Finally, the knight seemed to have arrived at his destination. As the knight pushed the door open, Merlin tried to brace himself for what horrible instruments of torture were surely inside.

However, there were no torture instruments at all. There were only sheets of paper strewn about, some herb bundles here and there, lots of little vials and pots scattered around, and an old man slowly walking towards them.

The old man blinked in what looked like surprise, followed by tears seeming to brim in his eyes. What the hell was going on?! The man spoke softly, "Is hit sōþlīce hē? Āh, mīn cniht, þū eart eft tō ūs āgēan cuman! Hēr, Hlāford Gwaine, sete hine dūn on þæt cot and hæbbe hine his scyrte āweg þæt ic mæg gesēon gif his wund is ēac þǣr."

The knight deposited Merlin gently on a nearby small bed and gave him some sort of smirk before speaking to him in a surprisingly gentle, almost teasing, voice, "Þu gehyrde þone wer, Myrddin! Of mid þinum scyrte nu. Ic wat þu maegst beon sceamful be þan, ac þises sio tid is swiðe aðele."

When Merlin could do nothing but stare at the knight, more bewildered than he's ever been in his life, the knight seemed to take offense to his inaction and began tugging at the bottom of Merlin's shirt, trying to pull it over his head. After a brief struggle, the knight emerged victorious, holding Merlin's shirt in his hands and grinning like a loon. Why on earth had the knight wanted his shirt of all things? What was he about to be subjected to?!

After a tense few minutes, the old man pottered over to where Merlin was sitting, bringing a small bag along with him. The man then began looking over Merlin's torso, paying particular attention to a certain to a spot underneath Merlin's ribs, prodding it repeatedly.

Merlin was quite uncomfortable being examined like this, but with an undead knight in the room still armed with a sword, there wasn't much Merlin could do to without risking getting stabbed. Well, at least the old man wasn't hurting him, so he supposed that he could look on the bright side and be grateful for that.

Eventually, the old man seemed satisfied with his examination of Merlin and addressed the knight again. "Hwæt, he þinceð tō bēon on sīðfæt hāl! Þū mæġst secgan Ārthūre þæt ic blīðe eom tō secgenne þæt ic ne mihte findan nān tācn his ǣrran lȳtlunge."

The knight nodded at the old man, looking pleased at whatever he had just been told. Then, the old man turned to him and handed him the small bag. "Min cniht, ic eom swiðe blīð tō gesēon þē eft. Þū eart swīðe þearle gewilnod! Hēr, wē hæfdon sume þīnra reafa gehealdene for þē! Ic trowe þæt þū þē beteran gefēlan wille þonne þū sum þing gelīclicre gescēawian."

Merlin gently took the bag from the old man and tentatively opened it and pulled out its contents. Inside the bag were a scratchy red tunic, a pair of old trousers, a brown jacket, a thin leather belt, and a scrap of blue cloth. Merlin looked up at the knight and the old man, unsure of what to make of these clothes.

The knight just rolled his eyes, snatched the tunic out of Merlin's hands, and started pulling the tunic over Merlin's head. Did they... did they want Merlin to put on the clothes? That seemed like the correct answer, as they looked happy when Merlin complied and put on the tunic, and they pushed Merlin towards a small room in the back of the chambers with the clothing still in his hands.

Alright, Merlin thought to himself, he would change clothes in this odd little broom closet if that kept him from being stabbed.

(And he did not acknowledge the part of his mind that swore that he knew this room, that this room was his. That was ridiculous, he had never seen this place before in his life!)

After putting on the trousers, belt, and jacket, all Merlin was left with was the scrap of blue cloth. What the hell was he supposed to do with this? Should he keep it in his pocket or something?

However, it seemed like his hands moved before his mind had a chance to catch up, as his hands, seemingly of their own accord, wrapped the blue cloth around his neck a couple time before typing it in the front. Huh, that was strange. Merlin normally didn't wear scarves, why did he know that this piece of cloth was a scarf?

It was... strange. However, there were more pressing matters at hand, namely not getting killed by undead medieval knights. After taking a deep, calming breath, Merlin opened the door and stepped back out into the main room, where the old man and the knight were waiting for him.

They both smiled at the sight of him, and the knight quickly slung an arm over Merlin's shoulders, said what was presumably a goodbye to the old man, and started leading Merlin back out they way they came.

At this point, Merlin started struggling again. If he could just escape from this knight, he could get back to the surface and gather a rescue team to save the others! But the knight's grip of him was tight, and after a certain amount of Merlin's struggling, the knight just sighed and threw Merlin over his shoulder again. Damn it!

Merlin tried to reference places that he had already seen as the knight dragged him deeper into the castle. An escape route would be essential if he was going to make it out of here alive. However, Merlin's hope was quickly running dry as he was carried further and further away from the only exit to this godforsaken castle and further away from any area that he had explored so far.

What's worse was that, as they went, Merlin could see more and more undead (maybe undead? what else could they be?) people throughout the castle. And it wasn't just knights either: there were guards, servants, and even what looked like noblemen and noblewomen running around the castle. What made all of this truly eerie for Merlin though, is that all of them would stop and stare as soon as they saw him. Even though he was dressed like one of them, they could still somehow tell that he was an outsider, not one of their number.

After what felt like an eternity, the knight finally stopped in front of a large door and put Merlin down. Merlin's dread skyrocketed as the guards opened the doors and the knight dragged him inside.

The room itself was richly decorated, with a dining table, a study, and a plush canopy bed. If looked like a room fit for... a king.

Oh no.

As if summoned by Merlin's thoughts, the king rounded a corner and appeared before them, thankfully looking less angry than before, but still sending Merlin's fear into overdrive. Merlin jumped at the sound of doors slamming shut behind him, leaving him trapped with the king.

Merlin was sure that he was shaking terribly, but he managed force his joint to work and took a step backwards as the king began to approach him. Merlin continued to back away from the king until his back met the cold, unyielding wood of the door. Slowly, the king stepped towards Merlin, his eyes never leaving Merlin's form.

In what was entirely too short of a time period in Merlin's opinion, the king had closed the distance between them and was within an arm's reach of Merlin. Merlin's eyes desperately darted around for a weapon, anything he could possibly use the defend himself with, but there was nothing that he could reach.

As the king took one last step closer to Merlin, Merlin closed his eyes and braced himself for pain, even death. However, to his shock, no pain came. Instead, the felt the king's warm hands on his shoulders, and without warning, he was roughly pulled into a hug. What the actual fuck?!

Through the king's ragged breathing, he could hear more of those unfamiliar words, this time spoken tenderly.

"Oh Myrddin, hwǣr eart þū bēon?"

TRANSLATIONS:

Gripan híe! Híe syndon fandian to niman Myrddin! = Catch them! They're trying to take Merlin!

Hū darrst þū āsceacan hine from mē! Iċ hæbbe bīdode ofer þūsend geara for þisne tīman, and þū ātēowedest tō nīefre hine from mē stelan! Þū scealt āgildan for þis! = How dare you try to take him from me! I have waited over a thousand years for this moment, and you've attempted to steal him from me! You must pay for this!

Nimðað þa ungewelwieras to ðære cyrcan cwellan, wē magon dēmian mid him æfter. Gwaine, nim Myrddin to his geardas and hafa Gaius locian ofer hine. And be mildheort, he sceal hæbbe geferod eft fram Avalon and mæg swilc bēon in pinunge fram his wundum! Gecyða eft to mē mid Gaius's gemetungum þonne hē geendod hæfð. = Take the intruders to the dungeon cells, we can deal with them later. Gwaine, take Merlin to his chambers and have Gaius look over him. And be gentle, he must have just come back from Avalon and could still be in pain from his wounds! Report back to me with Gaius's findings when he's done.

Is hit sōþlīce hē? Āh, mīn cniht, þū eart eft tō ūs āgēan cuman! Hēr, Hlāford Gwaine, sete hine dūn on þæt cot and hæbbe hine his scyrte āweg þæt ic mæg gesēon gif his wund is ēac þǣr. = Is it really him? Oh, my boy, you've returned to us! Here, Sir Gwaine, set him down on the cot and have him take his shirt off so I can see if his wound is still there.

Þu gehyrde þone wer, Myrddin! Of mid þinum scyrte nu. Ic wat þu maegst beon sceamful be þan, ac þises sio tid is swiðe aðele. = You heard the man, Merlin! Off with your shirt now. I know you can be shy about it, but this time it's pretty important.

Hwæt, he þinceð tō bēon on sīðfæt hāl! Þū mæġst secgan Ārthūre þæt ic blīðe eom tō secgenne þæt ic ne mihte findan nān tācn his ǣrran lȳtlunge. = Well, he seems to be in perfect health! You can tell Arthur that I am pleased to report that I could find no sign of his previous injury.

Min cniht, ic eom swiðe blīð tō gesēon þē eft. Þū eart swīðe þearle gewilnod! Hēr, wē hæfdon sume þīnra reafa gehealdene for þē! Ic trowe þæt þū þē beteran gefēlan wille þonne þū sum þing gelīclicre gescēawian. = My boy, I am so deeply glad to see you again. You have been dearly missed! Here, we've saved some of your clothes for you! I'm sure that you'll feel better wearing something familiar again.

Oh Myrddin, hwǣr eart þū bēon = Oh Merlin, where have you been?

Well, I hope you guys liked this au! What I originally planned to be a short little prompt turned into this beast of a post! I probably won't be able to post on Friday (since I'm planning on adding a new chapter to my fic on ao3 on Friday or Saturday), so hopefully this will tide you all over until the weekend!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

(And please let me know if you'd like a continuation of this au!)

EDIT: You can find a continuation of this au here!

#bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin au #protective arthur #merthur #merlin prompts

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uyuforu · 9 months ago

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Boda Persona Chart Analysis II

Boda (1487) is an asteroid discovered in 1938 by Karl Willhelm Reinmuth in Germany. It was named this way after Karl Boda. Boda in Spanish means "wedding", so it was natural for this asteroid to represent that. Boda is an asteroid we look at when we want to know more about what kind of wedding one will have. The Boda Persona Chart also means the same thing, and it gives more details about one's special day.

Someone asked me to make more observations for Boda PC. Unfortunately I don't have many people around me who have been married already. So I'll take my Boda Persona Chart, despite that i'm not married yet. If I do get married, it will be an occasion to come back on it later lol!

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Boda in Signs, Houses, Degrees

જ⁀➴ Boda Aspects

જ⁀➴ Boda Persona Chart Analysis I

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₊˚⊹♡ Sun conjunct Venus: Very romantic wedding, one of the main essence is romance. The wedding could be very pretty and beautiful looking.

₊˚⊹♡ Sun conjunct Mercury: Wedding will be talked about a lot, people could also talk about you a lot. And they can talk to you a lot too.

₊˚⊹♡ Sun Gemini could mean two weddings can happen, even with the same person.

₊˚⊹♡ Moon 8H could mean people don't show their emotions easily but feel things intensely during your wedding. People could cry of happiness and can't control their tears.

₊˚⊹♡ Moon square Briede could mean the bride will have hard time accepting she is showing her emotions.

₊˚⊹♡ Moon trine Venus means the romance will be top tier during the wedding! It can be considered a very romantic wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ DSC sextile Moon could mean the spouse will be open about their emotions during the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Venus 1H could make you be very intimate with your Spouse during the wedding. Meaning you can kiss a lot, hug a lot, share intimate conversations together.

₊˚⊹♡ Mars Gemini could mean there could be misunderstandings or miscommunication during the wedding. Gossips too.

₊˚⊹♡ Mercury Gemini 1H could mean people could talk and gossip a lot about your wedding but about you too. They could be very sneaky and curious about how you will dress and appear.

₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter 12H could indicate a non religious wedding, but this could also mean a spiritual wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter conjunct Saturn could mean the wedding promises a long term union.

₊˚⊹♡ Venus conjunct Saturn could also indicate a strong and long lasting love.

₊˚⊹♡ Venus conjunct Jupiter means the couple are happy in love and one of the best part of the wedding is their love/ bond.

₊˚⊹♡ Saturn conjunct Rising means you could have some struggles with your dress, you could also be stressed about your appearance or people looking at you during the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Venus conjunct Rising means you will look absolutely stunning.

₊˚⊹♡ Uranus 10H: a transformative wedding, the reputation of the wedding could be that it is unique, and it will change perspectives.

₊˚⊹♡ Uranus conjunct Juno could mean your union is something that is considered revolutionary by others. You could be seen as a unique couple, and your story & wedding could both change perspectives. It could also have a worldwide or historical influence if it is in the 10H.

₊˚⊹♡ MC Capricorn: Wedding will be remembered for how expensive and good looking it was, they can also really admire how fancy the wedding could be.

₊˚⊹♡ 1H Stellium means you will be very focused on the wedding itself, but also on you and your spouse as a couple. You will also feel as the main character, this is your day!

₊˚⊹♡ 3H Cancer means your guests will be mostly your family and loved one.

₊˚⊹♡ 3H Cancer could also mean a wedding that is near water or beach/ ocean.

₊˚⊹♡ Juno sextile Briede means Bride will feel very in love and very romantic.

₊˚⊹♡ Scorpio 7H means the marriage could be quite private, just loved ones are here.

₊˚⊹♡ 8H Sagittarius could mean the honeymoon will be abroad in a foreign country!

₊˚⊹♡ 9H Capricorn can mean the In-Laws will probably pay a lot for the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ 9H Capricorn can also mean In-Laws will not be emotional, but they can be proud.

₊˚⊹♡ 9H Capricorn can also mean a prenup can be signed!

₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter conjuncts Saturn: indicates a minimalist wedding, or just a small wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Saturn 12H could mean you are stressed about the wedding being called off, or someone ruining your wedding. You are scared the wedding will not work out.

₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter 12H could mean your wedding is a divine blessing, a sacred union. Something divine could happen during your wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Neptune 10H could be a sign people will be obsessed with your wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Neptune conjunct Juno: divine love and union

₊˚⊹♡ MC 29°: Reputation of the wedding is excellent, people will remember it for years. It could be a very popular wedding, perhaps celebrities could attend, or many people will talk about it.

₊˚⊹♡ Pluto 7H: a transformative union

₊˚⊹♡ Pluto conjunct Chiron: a union that will heal both of partners. Breaking a karmic cycle, entering a new chapter of their life.

₊˚⊹♡ Pluto sextile Juno: transformative love. Very similar to Uranus conjunct Juno.

₊˚⊹♡ Chiron trine Briede: Bride will heal through the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Union conjunct Part of Fortune: A very luck union! Their wedding will bring them a lot of luck.

₊˚⊹♡ Vertex conjunct Union: A destined and fated marriage.

₊˚⊹♡ Vertex Libra: same meaning.

₊˚⊹♡ Vertex Conjunct Part of Fortune: A very lucky and happy union that was destined to happen. The wedding and union could have indeed be part of the couple's fate in order to bring more luck and happiness in their life.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom Conjunct Part of Fortune: Groom feels more lucky because of the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom conjunct Vertex: Groom feels like the marriage is destined.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom 6H: Groom could feel like he heals during the wedding. He could also feels like he feels in harmony and stable. He could also feel very involved in the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom Libra: Groom will be very romantic during the wedding. Will also be very good looking and dress nice.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom sextile Chiron: Groom heals his wound during the wedding.

₊˚⊹♡ 2H Gemini means the gifts will be unexpected and full of spontaneity! But also that the wedding could not be that expensive in the end.

₊˚⊹♡ 4H Cancer means your parents will be very emotional during your wedding and perhaps more your mother!

₊˚⊹♡ 5H Leo means the wedding party will be super fun! It also means people will dance a lot, just enjoy themselves a lot. It will feel like a night in a lifetime.

₊˚⊹♡ Groom trines Juno means Groom will feel very in love.

₊˚⊹♡ Asteroid DNA (55555) conjunct 8H could mean a baby could be made during the honeymoon...

₊˚⊹♡ Moon 8H could mean the same thing!

₊˚⊹♡ Capricorn 10H 29° can mean many people wish they could be invited to the wedding. The wedding will have the reputation of being a high class wedding or a wedding everyone will talk about. Even people who are not invited.

₊˚⊹♡ 11H Aquarius could mean the guests will be people the couple love very much, and they consider their friends. The guests could come from different area of the world, different work area, different social classes, etc.

₊˚⊹♡ 11H's Ruler in the 10H could mean some guests could be famous or well known to the public.

₊˚⊹♡ 10H's ruler in the 12H could mean the wedding will def be a private one.

Thank you for reading!

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vagabond-umlaut · 3 months ago

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what is the point of lukewarm love?

If I am not drowning in it, I have no desire for it.

Ⅰ. my beloved ghost and me

pairing: knight geto suguru x disgraced noble fem!reader tags: historical au; arranged marriage; slow burn; misunderstanding; arguments; kinda enemies to lovers; angst; drama; fluff; smut; hurt/comfort; eventual happy ending; MDNI; warning: ANGST, implied attempted sa (not to the mc), homicide, corruption; physical assault; abandonment issues; 1.7k wc notes: when i say this fic is the bane of my existence, i mean it in every sense of the term :) the chapter title is from here. the fic title and summary are from this post. the header is from pinterest. jjk isn't mine! please comment on the fic masterpost, or send me an ask, to be added to the taglist!! :))

Your husband is a callous man.

Disgustingly so.

But, of course, if you ever say the same to anyone else, they'll be certain to return you a scowl—not that they don't give you one now, but they'll make it much worse then—for how can you speak such ill of your husband: the oh-so-gallant, oh-so-chivalrous knight Sir Geto Suguru!?

Well, the thing is... first off, none of those outraged voices know the man as well as you do.

Secondly, and more importantly, none of them are you.

Born as the eldest daughter of one of the most prominent nobles in the Empire, you had always been told there was a golden future lying in wait for you. Elegant, graceful, refined—you grew up to be the epitome of each of these adjectives and so many more meaning the same. Something your parents and teachers adored you for, your peers resented you for, the general populace looked up to you for.

Long story short, your life was nothing less than wonderful.

But, as is the way with this world, good things seldom last long—yours too didn't.

The wandering hand of a noble.

The terrified screams of your maid.

The said noble's head rolling on the floor.

The pristine white of your gloves drenched in bright red, the same shade dripping from the sharp blade of a sword; that too, one which had always been an idle wall decoration...

Were the noble any lesser person, you know nothing would have happened. You did a right thing, after all, saving a poor helpless girl from the maws of a vile beast.

But no, he wasn't a lesser person.

He was the Emperor's little brother. Lecherous, yes, of course, no one could negate this; but he was His Majesty's youngest brother, eighth in line to the throne, which is why you weren't even taken to trial. The blood on your hands hadn't even dried before every title you owned were snatched away from you, and you were reduced from being one of the most highly regarded young ladies amongst the nobles to being a convicted criminal—

'Attempted theft of a royal jewel.'

'Harrassment of a member of the royal staff when they attempted to stop her.'

'Murder of a member of the Royal Family when they attempted to detain her.'

The story was changed, and with it thus twisted and distorted until not one letter of it was true, you were indeed nothing more than a convicted criminal—

A burden your parents waited not even a day before they decided to get rid of, before they decided to bedeck it in finery of the highest kind and send it to the slaughterhouse under the pretence of your hand being promised to Zenin Naoya.

You ran away.

Of course, you ran away.

Only to be spotted by one of your family's old servants, not even ten miles away...

What happened next is preserved very poorly in your memory—you remember reading in a book once, how one's mind tries to erase things too traumatic for them—but you do recollect the sheer panic and the utter desperation you felt as you were all but dragged back to the manor, you would swallow your tongue before calling it your home again. Oh, and, of course, the clinking of the thousand gold coins as your father awarded them to the man for his loyalty whilst your cheeks stung from the force of your mother's fury.

The Zenin heir cancelled the engagement within the next hour, claiming he had no desire to marry a disobedient wretch like you. When you scoffed and told your mother that neither did you have a wish to wed a cur like him, she slapped you again, drawing blood this time.

Your parents were prepared to disown you.

And you knew. And no matter how much it hurt, you were prepared to be disowned by them, prepared to leave and set out on a new path on your own—which is when your dearest husband entered the stage of your life, and without further ado, set it on fire—

Sir Geto Suguru, the paragon of virtue, so very darling to the Empire.

The envoy of death, so very terrifying to the enemies of the Empire.

The catalyst of your doom, so very dashing as he stood before your parents, the coal black of his hair and his eyes scintillant in the sun as he greeted them with a bow and a courteous smile—its keen shape perhaps not too unbecoming the sharpness of his mien, you thought absently, still blissfully ignorant to what lay in your future, as you stood behind your mother—

It took Geto all but a moment to stand upright and ask your father for your hand in marriage.

It took your blood less than a moment to freeze in your arteries.

Were it before, you know your parents would've rejected such a proposal in a heartbeat; your world and the knight's were far too different, too far apart. But that day, utterly devastated, utterly helpless, you watched them both nearly sob in relief as your mother nodded and your father brought your intended into a hearty embrace.

The wedding took place a day later in an extremely private function.

Not even a month after which, Geto received his transfer orders to some remote town by the sea.

And giving you a set of barely-intelligible, insultingly-perfunctory reasons, more like 'excuses', as to why you couldn't accompany him; you're his wife, for goodness' sake; he dropped you off at your in-laws' in the countryside—people who hadn't even deigned to attend their only son's wedding—

You don't dislike them, though.

You dislike your husband.

The man who, by marrying you, has made himself an angel donning a mortal skin, a person too good for the likes of anyone and everyone; most certainly, much too good for you.

The man who, by leaving you barely thirty days into your conjugal life, has made you even viler in the eyes of others than you can ever imagine it to be possible, believe it should be possible.

The man who has visited his home, his wife, only a handful of times in the last one year, that too only for a handful of hours each time, never staying for more than one day and the next morning.

The man who doesn't care enough to reply to your letters, let alone send you any, only sending his father enough money to feed a village and a curt letter saying he's well on the third day of every month, the words devoid of even the smallest mention of the person he married and brought to his home—

If one says you hate Geto, you will simply nod in response and not breathe one word in disagreement, you think as you wrap the blanket tighter round your shivering form and stare at the waning crescent in the pitch-black sky.

It's lonely.

The moon is rather lonely, you reckon, a faint frown creeping onto your lips...

But definitely not as acutely, as painfully as you are—

After all, the moon hasn't been forsaken by its friends, parents and husband, has it?

The moon isn't forced to endure pitiful glances and scathing glares throughout the day, is it?

The moon need not spend night after night, either sleepless or seeing nightmares where it is abandoned in an entirely new way, tossed aside in an incomparably worse way by others—does it?

No.

You suppose not.

A pathetic little sigh escapes you as you force yourself to relax beneath the warm weight of the blanket, gaze soon drifting from the sky outside the window to your hands, to the pretty little diamond sitting on your left hand—only to stiffen when you hear a pair of feet pad into the kitchen—

"Do you have a fever?" A familiar voice rings out, so sleepy yet so worried, so kind—that too for you out of all the people the concern could be for—you can't help but become a touch misty-eyed.

It's your mother-in-law.

Sometimes, you think she's the only person you won't mind calling family.

The only person who, you don't think you're wrong when thinking, won't mind you calling them family.

Trying to hide a sniffle, you shake your head, lips shifting into a small smile on their own when you can finally discern her in the almost darkness, "Um, no. I'm totally fine, thank you."

"Alright," she doesn't press you any more, choosing to pour herself a glass of water instead. You look away from her, focus shuffling away to rest on the orange lights of the distant houses and huts against the blue backdrop of the night, when a quiet call of your name reaches you.

You turn back, only to find your mother-in-law wearing a knowing smile. She suddenly looks a lot older than you know she actually is—you wonder how your mother is faring—

Is she happy now that her shame of a daughter is away and no longer besmirching the spotless reputation of the family? Or, does she miss her first child, her 'sunshine', living so many miles away from her?

You know better than to ponder over such questions; yeah, you know you do.

"Yes, Mother?" you ask; the aftertaste of the last word not as sour as it used to be in the early days of your marriage, you register absently all the while wondering why her smile appears to grow when you call her thus, "Is—"

"I've raised Suguru to be brave and true-hearted," she says, and you cannot help the way your form grows rigid at the mere mention of his name—nor the burn settling behind your eyes nor how your throat clogs up, words dying far before they're fully formed when the remainder of the sentence clicks into place in your brain—"He will return to you, darling. I'm sure of it."

Hours from now, you will wonder why your mother-in-law is telling you all this.

You will wonder why she thinks your sleepless nights are because of her son, especially when you haven't breathed even a syllable of your distress to anyone; least of all, to her.

You will wonder why she sounds so sure while she's reassuring you of your husband's return.

Hours from now, you will tear your brain apart and put the pieces back together, in search for answers to these and so many more questions.

But now, in this moment, you don't think.

You screw your eyes shut and bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, trying your damnedest not to cry—until you decide you're much too wounded, too too weary to put up a good front—

And you cry, and you cry, and you cry.

general masterlist

#geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto x you #geto x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #kit posts 📝

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starryoak · 2 years ago

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The fact is that if you seriously believe in it, astrology is basically objectively indefensible from any standpoint besides, I guess, “people should be allowed to hold bigoted opinions as long as it’s a deeply held spiritual belief”, which, I hope at least you’re ideologically consistent in applying that rule!

For one, there’s the birthday racism thing, where fundamentally, believing that people’s personalities are immutably defined by the circumstances of their birth is a reactionary and inherently bigoted opinion, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a useful idiot for people using astrology to justify their pre-existing prejudices.

But here’s the thing! That’s only the start of how astrology is an incoherent pseudoscience from back before humans had actual methods of proving things and testing assertions, one that needs to be abandoned to the annals of fiction so we can continue to grow past our bigotries and abandon superstitions that enable them.

Any studies that try to assess its accuracy with any standards for proof whatsoever come up empty, and any mechanism for how it could possibly work makes no logistical sense whatsoever if you even think about it for more than five seconds. Let’s get into it.

The fact is, that if astrology is true, it would be true always, and it would be true because it is actually a physically present force in our world. There is no such thing as a force that can cause things to happen without being detectable in some way, even if it’s only detectable upon analysis as an absence of detectable things, like dark matter! Trying to justify otherwise is completely bizarre and unscientific.

It’s true that being born at different times in the year has an effect on you, but that is not in fact the same as meaning that astrology is correct. We’ve barely studied the phenomenon enough to know anything concrete, but we do know that the claims astrology makes about these things are wrong.

Some of the only way stars can physically affect you is gravity and light, and the gravity from stars is so miniscule it cannot be detected, and it starts getting into questions like:

-How does the gravity from a specific collection of stars affect someone’s personality and why are those collections special, when they’re just arbitrary groupings that we made up?

-If it’s not gravity, then what? Is it light, the only other thing we receive from stars? If so, how does the light affect people when they aren’t in the direct visible zone to see those stars at the time they’re born?

-If not those, then what? And if so, what are those forces that stars emit that cause this, and why haven’t we detected it in other forms if so? Why does it affect humans specifically this way? How do you know and how did you prove it exists? Why is it not a universally known and understood phenomenon that we can test objectively?

-How does the arbitrary grouping of stars stop exerting those forces on people from different months when they’re so far away any force exerted based on where you are wouldn’t change from month to month?

-In fact, all of these stars are present at all times all around us! Awfully odd that astrology doesn’t change based on where you are in the world, isn’t it? After all, if it’s some form of energy emitted by stars that is affecting people differently based on different months, shouldn’t it be that they only affect people facing them? But it doesn’t change based on whether you’re in the southern or northern hemisphere, for some reason! Odd!

-How does the energy emitted from these stars change so that someone born on December 21st, 11:59:59 PM is so fundamentally different from someone born on December 22nd, 12:00:00 AM such that they’re entirely different categories of people, Sagittarius and Capricorn?

-How convenient is that whatever these mysterious energies do and how they change happens to work out perfectly to align with human conception of our day/night cycle and human months!

-And if someone is going to claim that’s somehow a misunderstanding and ‘real’ astrology actually has an explanation for that, I sure hope someone can clarify in a way that doesn’t contradict any other highly esteemed astrologers! Sure is interesting that there’s no standardized methodology or way of testing this because astrologers have no consistent methodology or agreement on how any of this works! It’s very convenient to have unfalsifiable claims so you never have to prove anything, after all!

-It’s awful convenient, also, that the ways that these things work out is so that they result in Barnum Statements; statements that exploit a common tendency for humans to see extremely vague and general statements applied to them as extremely accurate and tailored to them specifically, even when they could apply to anyone. Really interesting how those are a common tactic of conmen! Definitely doesn’t say anything about the general validity of horoscopes or astrology!

And that’s not even all the potential objections I could come up with as to why astrology is fundamentally incompatible with a belief in almost any science whatsoever! It’s just the ones I could think of off the top of my head! Have a video on other objections that may include mine.

I understand that people who believe in astrology tend to be the kind of idiots who don’t care about science being a thing that exists and can test whether things are true or false and prove it to the greatest extent we can declare anything objectively, but I believe that fundamentally, anything that cannot be proven to be true must be treated as false, and it being a ‘deeply held spiritual belief’ doesn’t actually protect it from being evaluated and assessed as true or false.

Ok, admittedly, that was mean of me. It’s not idiocy, it’s just a fact that humans, and in fact, other animals, are attracted to superstitions due to reasons not fully understood at this time, likely instincts that helped our ancestors survive in the wild, because pattern recognition that can’t be turned off is an asset, even when it results in pseudoscience. People aren’t stupid for falling prey to the inbuilt human bias towards pattern matching that is in fact also the basis of science as we know it. But that doesn’t mean that astrology is true. It just means that it’s a result of apophenia, a natural human bias towards finding connections whether or not they exist.

And of course, then you have people come out of the woodwork assuring you, no, but I promise, astrology is just for fun! Nobody actually believes in it! Well, uh, that’s incorrect! Incredibly incorrect!

Astrology is absolutely used to discriminate against people in real life circumstances! If someone puts out a call for roommates but says Capricorns need not apply? That’s housing discrimination.

If a company puts out calls that they’re looking to hire “Gemini, Libra or Aquarius”, that’s job discrimination. It’s just objectively job discrimination and so obviously bad I can’t believe I have to link multiple fucking examples here.

Do you want to hear one of the most terrifying two word combination I’ve heard in a while? “Forensic Astrologer”. That’s right; criminal profiling that takes into account astrology.

A different form of astrology, but did you know? In Japan, there’s a superstition regarding the 43rd combination of the sexagenary cycle, the Fire Horse, that says that women born in that year will grow up to kill their husbands, that was so widely believed in that during the last year of the fire horse, 1966, the birth rate dropped 25%.

Once again, a different kind of astrology, in India, these things are taken extremely seriously, to the point where it’s common to assess relationship and marriage compatibility or even arrange them based on Vedic astrology, called Kundali matching, and frankly, I think it should be self evident as to why that’s a bad fucking idea. Hell, even just anecdotally, want any number of horrific descriptions of familial abuse based on stupid fucking bullshit? Check out the notes for this post and feel free to read all the people recounting their experiences with being mistreated for having the audacity to pop out of their mom’s vagina at the wrong time.

And to be completely frank here, if the best defense of an ideology any of its practicioners can come up with is that they know that it’s stupid and wrong, that’s honestly already the most damning indictment I can even conceive of.

If your claim in support of an ideology is that it’s so obviously wrongheaded on the face of it that only a moron would take it seriously, what does that say about you for knowing that and supporting it anyway?

I know that I’m being overly wordy here, but I can’t think of any other way to word this shit without being far more uncharitable about this than I already am. The TLDR here is; evidence based beliefs are good and based and unfalsifiable beliefs are bad and cringe.

I understand why it’s fun, I’m not stupid, arbitrary categorization is one of humanity’s favorite habits! But being fun is not enough to justify keeping around an ideology that is fundamentally predicated upon judging people based on things that they can’t control.

Astrology belongs in the only place where it can actually exist. Fiction.

We need to make it clear that men are not the only ones cool enough to reject astrology and religion.

#I’m a cis woman to be clear #or well #i’m autistic so cis is a strong word #but still cis in terms of I am comfortable identifying with the genitals I was born with #even if it’s a stupid system and dichotomy #skepticism #atheism #astrology #anti astrology #I borrowed some of the links from a different post by OP #thanks btw #science #astrology is my least favorite pseudoscience frankly #Because like I may be an atheist #But at least I respect that most religion nowadays has retreated to only making fact claims about the afterlife #Which while it is inherently unfalsifiable and thus suspect #at least it’s leaving reality alone so the rest of us can get on with our inherently finite lives #(Criticizing religion where it fails to do this is valid imo as long as it focuses on the facts of the matter so it doesn’t turn bigoted)#astrology has the gall to make objectively verifiable claims about reality #that people just refuse to address can be proved to be false #and retreat to justifying it with promises that they super duper promise it’s not FOR REALS #when frankly I don’t trust you! I don’t trust anyone on this!#I don’t trust the average person to be able to believe in these things for fun and then dismiss them entirely when making serious decisions #I think that if you believe in something for fun #You probably will believe in it for real even if just a little!#what’s that term? Shrodinger’s asshole?#Where you decide if you were joking about an offensive belief based on the reception of your audience?#yeah that’s how I worry some of you work with astrology. It’s all a joke until suddenly it’s not #to be clear it is fun and deeply historically meaningful for many cultures but that ultimately doesn’t mean it’s correct!#discourse

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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 15 days ago

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“The VVitch” (2015) and “Nosferatu” (2024) Are More Similar Than You Think

Robert Eggers made “The VVitch” and then thought: what if Thomasin and Black Phillip/The Devil had an demonic sexual love story going on? Time to make my own version of “Nosferatu” (the first script is from 2016).

This man is really out there making historical horror movies about ostracized women making pacts with the Devil.

“Wouldst thou like the taste of butter? A pretty dress? Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? […] Wouldst Thou Like to See the World?”

“You are not for the living. You are not for human kind. And shall you be one with me ever-eternally. Do you swear it? […] As our spirits are one, so too shall be our flesh. You are mine.”

How these films are similar:

Both Thomasin and Ellen pray for something at the beginning of the film, and the Devil answers: Thomasin asks for forgiveness and guidance, Ellen prays for companionship and tenderness;

Both Thomasin and Ellen are ostracized in connection with their womanhood and sexuality: Thomasin is growing into a woman, and Ellen has “hysteric fits” with strong sexual undertones;

The Devil (Black Phillip and Orlok) essentially kills everyone around them, until they are the only left, to force their hand into accepting him (a bit different in “Nosferatu” because it’s a remake);

Both films have a pair of children which are “foreshadowing bombs” in the narrative (Mercy and Jonas in “The VVitch” and Clara and Louise in “Nosferatu”);

In both films, the Devil offers something tempting to both these characters, which they accept: Black Philip promises freedom and knowledge, and Orlok promises eternal passion and sex;

Both pacts involve blood sacrifice and death to seal them: in “The VVitch” Thomasin kills her mother, in “Nosferatu” Ellen kills herself alongside Orlok.

Thomasin was accused of being a "witch", a “whore” and having a pact with the Devil by everyone around her, until she actually did at the end. Ellen is also seen as “deranged”, “diseased” and often compared to supernatural beings ("changeling girl", "sylph", "fairy", etc.) until she becomes just that at the end, too. They are both the Devil’s concubines.

“I’m that very witch. When I sleep my spirit slips away from my body and dances naked with the Devil. That’s how I signed his book.”

Thomasin taunts her sister, Mercy (“The VVitch”, 2015)

In another post, I already explored which demonic figures Ellen and Orlok are meant to be in this adaptation: Babalon and the Beast.

There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was dressed in purple [lilacs] and scarlet [blood], and was glittering with gold sunlight precious stones and pearls [sunlight]. She held a golden cup in her hand, filled with abominable things and the filth of her adulteries. The name written on her forehead was a mystery: Babylon the great, the mother of prostitutes, and of the abominations of the earth.

“Scarlet beast” = Orlok, a vampire

“blasphemous names” = names of the Devil

“Seven heads” = heptagram, the seven-pointed star (Orlok and Babalon’s sigils)

“Ten horns” = ten lilac flowers

“Golden cup” = it’s the Holy grail = womb

“Filled with abominations” = sex with Orlok, necrophilia

“Filth of her adulteries” = she’s married to Thomas before God, and she’s defiling that vow on their marriage bed

“She [Babalon] rides astride the Beast; in her left hand she holds the reins, representing the passion which unites them. In her right she holds aloft the cup, the Holy Grail aflame with love and death.”

Aleister Crowley, “The Book of Thoth”

In some occult circles, this “Beast” is the Devil himself, which makes me ask: is Orlok the Devil?

Not only he’s referred as such several times in the actual film, but also the fact he was one of the Solomonari, a dark wizard, in life, a servant and a student of the Devil. We are told “the Devil preserved his soul that his corpse may walk again in blaspheme.” So… who’s actually walking in that corpse? Orlok’s soul or the Devil? Being a servant to the Devil is being a puppet to the Devil, essentially. This is pretty much what the abbess says to Thomas: it’s the Devil that makes Orlok’s corpse walk.

In another post I already talked about how Orlok prepared his own physical death, because the book containing the “maiden’s sacrifice” was found by Von Franz in Knock’s office, his fanatical servant, which is shady to say the least. The Devil is a deceiver after all (as Ellen herself accuses him of being), so making the heroes believe they are beating him while doing exactly what he wants them to do, it’s not far fetched, and even rooted in religious belief.

Why would Orlok want to die in the physical world? Because he wants his spirit to be set free, he doesn’t want to be trapped in a freaking rotten corpse, which explains why he tells Ellen she’s “his affliction”; she’s the one who trapped in that physical form when she awoke him, probably. He wants to return to spiritual form, and wants to take Ellen with him; which explains their covenant, and their blood sacrifice at the end to seal it. And Ellen was also fully aware of what she was signing for, she knew what her physical death would mean (being forever joined with him in hell, or the Underworld or whatever “celestial sphere”), and that Orlok would die too (obviously).

#robert eggers #the witch #the VVitch #nosferatu 2024 #Thomasin #black phillip #Count Orlok 2024 #Ellen Hutter 2024 #orlok x ellen #ellen x orlok

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certifiedsexed · 3 months ago

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hey there! i don’t mean this in bad faith at all, and i’m not trying to use a term that’s a fascist dogwhistle. i promise i’m just confused😭

so i’m not a guy, nor have i ever been perceived as one, but in one of your recent posts, you said that men can’t experience oppression solely based on the fact that they’re men. which was kind of confusing to me — i don’t think you’re wrong, i think it’s me but i don’t know how to get to how you see it like that.

because in my experience, men can experience oppression because they’re men, although i don’t know if i’m saying that right or conflating the meanings of certain terms. i’m probably wrong, and would just love some clarification?

for example, my brother and i were always held to different standards growing up — it was expected of me to always cry and be emotional, and i was a ‘stone cold bitch’ if that wasn’t the case, but if my brother wanted to show negative emotions like sadness he was treated like there was something wrong with him too. and i know it wasn’t my brother — i spend a lot of time working with my high school’s diversity team, and in a lot of the events we organise, guys talk about how they feel enormous pressure to be angry and never sad, and to have stereotypically masculine interests and never deviate from that norm.

i also know men who’ve struggled to get jobs such as teaching as those are viewed as ‘female’ jobs and it’s a common view that men who want those jobs are ‘only in it to be around kids’. i’ve heard many women around me perpetuate sentiments like that, so i know they’re not making it up, even if it isn’t equal to the systematic oppression women face in almost every aspect of their careers.

i’m not providing these examples to prove you wrong, since i do think you’re right. i’m hoping that a window into the way i’ve always thought might help you clarify this in a way that can help me to change my mind, since i just think i’m lacking some clarity or context here. i think i’m conflating abuse and stereotypes with oppression, but i’m really not sure. any advice would be really appreciated!

i’m so sorry if this comes off badly, i don’t mean it that way. i’m just trying to learn, i promise i’m not trying to promote the kind of hate and close mindedness you’ve been seeing in your inbox as of late.

Hi! As always, I do not mind answering genuine questions!

The things you're talking about growing up and seeing boys around you pressured to present only certain emotions, that's part of the patriarchy!

Certain emotions are supposed to be "feminine" and thus boys shouldn't show them, while girls are often always considered "emotional" in some fashion. That's not oppression based on those boys being men that you're talking about.

It's the backlash that the patriarchy, and by addition trans/misogyny has on men. It's boys being pressured not to show certain emotions because those emotions are "feminine" and they're supposed to associate feminimity with weakness and shit.

What you're talking about there is also trans/misogyny!

The idea that men who do things perceived as feminine are predators, the idea that specific jobs are "female" jobs [while even in those specific female jobs, men are generally paid better and find it easier to get into those jobs than women trying to get into traditionally "male" jobs"]

[Though obviously this varies based on race and whether they're trans, etc, etc.]

To be a little more clear, all of the things you're talking about don't primarily affect cis men/boys. They fuck up transfems, because it's trans/misogyny.

You're right! It's not systemic oppression.

You might wonder if it's social oppression, which is also a no. Social oppression would require a historical/systemic oppression behind it. But that doesn't exist in this case.

What it is is the common issue oppressors run into. While they benefit greatly from oppression, there is also backlash they face from their own systems of oppression.

Like white people who fall into suicide cults trying to work towards white supremacy, or TERFs who fall into groups where they slowly pick each other off as they discover they're not all exactly the same and wind up accusing each other of not being "real" women, systems of bigotry simply do not work out perfectly even for the oppressors.

They never do.

To create the patriarchy, you must establish trans/misogyny, you must establish intersexism and you must push people to conform to those ideals, even if they hurt your own.

It's similar to how white supremacy can harm white people, despite white people obviously not being oppressed racially. The backlash of oppression hits even the oppressors sometimes.

Suppression, as a term, would honestly work far better to describe what you're talking about.

So yes, it's stereotyping, yes it's abusive to tell your children not to show/feel their emotions but it's not oppression based on these guys in your life being men! It's part of how trans/misogyny, transphobia and intersexism are enforced.

I understand exactly where you're coming from! It doesn't sound bad and I genuinely don't mind answering questions! Especially since you've got some good ones!

I'm not sure if I rambled too much to explain this properly but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions and/or need me to clarify anything here. <33

#sex education #asks #misogyny education #feminism #transmisogyny #intersexism #transphobia

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whateverisbeautiful · 4 months ago

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♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#61: The Happy Ending (1.06)

The Grimes family is reunited.😭🙌🏽

That's it. That's the intro. 😋 Because we just gotta dive right in and break this super rewarding and moving Grimes family reunion all the way down. It's everything. 🥹...

First off - The way we WIN.

After so many years, we really got to witness our babies get their happily ever after with their babies. They won. We won. 🎉😭

And the biggest reason I say we win is because something that we love lives. Richonne's story has been able to live to its fullest potential and in the most captivating and fulfilling way. From the iconic start in TWD to this impactful conclusion in TOWL. 🙌🏽

When working on these TOWL revelings, I tried to have the majority of them written and ready before I even started sharing the posts in July to ensure I’d deliver on my promise and follow through to the end. These final Grimes Family reunion posts are the only ones I put off writing for a while because, as far as we know, this is it. 🥲 The last page we get to see of Richonne’s beautiful years-long story. The last new Richonne scenes to break down and revel in.

Since TOWL was announced as a 6-episode miniseries, I’m currently approaching this final scene as the official conclusion of Richonne's story. I know Andy, Danai, and Scott haven't outright said they're never reprising these roles, and the more I hear their answers to the questions about a return, a part of me thinks they know they're coming back in some capacity, be it a cameo or more, and already have an existing contract perhaps, which is why they can't 'spoil' anything by confirming or denying a return.

The way I view it - if Richonne makes another appearance, I'm absolutely seated and celebratory. And if they don't, I'm absolutely satisfied and grateful for what we got. As the gift that keeps on giving, they've already given us over 10 years of golden Richonne content, and this Grimes Family 2.0 reunion put a lovely bow on top of this gift. 💝 It was truly a beautiful and fitting conclusion to their story. And most of all I want the Grimes Family to get to live happily and at peace together, so I'm more than elated with how Richonne's story comes to a close here. 😇

So, as the broadcast announces “A historic day to begin a new chapter for the Republic” - which of course Rick and Michonne Grimes would be the ones capable of bringing about a fresh, historic, and thriving new chapter for a whole city of thousands - we see a glimpse of Judith sitting beside her walkie. And then I love hearing Michonne on the other end say, “Shoto, it’s Daito.” 🥹

Ahhhhhhh the Grimes family reunion was happening! 🥳🥳🥳 And I'm so glad it's with the original actors too. 😭🙌🏽

I remember there was a period when some were a bit worried that Richonne wouldn't reunite with their kids in TOWL. For me, I felt so sure it was gonna happen because that was the only way Michonne and Rick would feel their mission was successful. And I love how it gets confirmed that they’ll be seeing the kids as soon as we see this walkie-talkie moment.

...Even tho for some of us, the Grimes family reunion was basically confirmed a little earlier, when a certain two illustrious actors filmed a trip down memory lane in Senoia, Georgia. 🤭

Our lovely captains have a sweet little exchange during that great memory lane special that clued me in on what to expect. There's a part where Danai is talking about Judith and RJ and how she loved seeing Judith with the mini sword on her back. Then, as others also picked up on, Danai said something to Andy about how now Cailey has nearly outgrown the sword, and she seemed to think Andy could co-sign that she has. And that had my extra self’s ears perking up. 😋

Because Andy had been having to work double time to recall some TWD scenes he was actually a part of during this trip down memory lane - so I said to myself - Self, it is highly unlikely that he knows if Cailey, who he never had scenes with, is now outgrowing the sword…unless he’s already filmed a scene with her wearing the sword. 😏

gif cred: @nerd4music

So yeah, after that I was no longer even 1% unsure if Richonne would have their family reunion. It was happening. 💯 And the way it happened is Love personified. 👏🏽💗

It had to be such a euphoric moment for Judith to finally, after over a year, hear her mom on the other end of that walkie that she said she'd always keep with her. And it had to be euphoric for Michonne to no longer get static but finally get her baby girl on the other end. 🥹

I remember it was emotional watching Michonne and Judith's final walkie-talkie conversation in TWD, especially knowing they'd eventually fall out of range. And so it was a great feeling to see their walkies finally make a connection again.

I like the way it’s shot with the walkie on the steps and Rick’s holster and gun on Judith’s hip. Again, Michonne summed it up perfectly when she said Judith is her and Rick. And it’s sweet seeing Judith immediately grab the walkie when she hears her mom’s voice.

Also knowing Michonne was able to reach Judith on the walkie, I think this would definitely imply that Rick was able to talk to or at least hear Judith before they see each other in person. I’d be so curious what that very first exchange over the walkies was like between Michonne, Judith, and Rick. I'd imagine it was quite emotional for Rick to hear Judith's voice on the other end for the first time. 🥲

So then there’s the return of Rick’s battle-tested cowboy boots as he steps off the helicopter. And I really like the way it’s shot as we just see his feet first and then Michonne’s feet join him. It feels like yet another way to illustrate and celebrate that Rick is no longer alone. The love of his life found him and now they really will be by each other's side for pretty much all things going forward.

gif cred: @taiturner

As TV's greatest husband and wife step off the helicopter, we get to see Rick and Michonne more fully and I adore that they’re holding hands. 🥰 They always look so married. And as has been established, holding hands is one of Richonne's favorite things.

And then you know we gotta take a moment for Michonne’s outfit 🔥🔥🔥. Cutest outfit she’s ever worn. 👏🏽 I LOVE it. 🤩

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

It’s great how they chose something that feels both fresh but also so true to Michonne for her final outfit and it just feels like she’s again getting to return to herself through the clothing. A fashion It Girl, through and through. 💅🏽

Michonne stayed proving an apocalypse does not have to stop you from stylishly color-coordinating and accessorizing. And I love the cowrie shells being back in her hair too. One of the last times she wore cowrie shells - a symbol of fertility - RJ arrived shortly after. So of course seeing the shells in this finale had my Richonne baby fever activated. 😋 It’s also great she got her katana back as well. That sword will always find its way back to its Mama Michonne. 👌🏽

And I of course also love that Michonne and Rick are wearing matching colors. A signature Richonne thing to the end. 😌 And Rick and Michonne matching in that tan color is great because the color scheme is giving "Must've been something else then." 😊

Then, I think it’s such a touching and well-acted moment when, before we even see the kids, we can tell that Richonne has spotted their kids from the way they react. 😭

Something about the way Michonne holds Rick's hand and then runs to her babies just feels like such a wife and mother and it’s so sweet. Like if you showed this running clip out of context to someone unfamiliar with the show, I feel they'd immediately be able to tell that who Michonne and Rick are running to is their children.

I love how Michonne drops her bag and just immediately runs to the kids. And then it’s precious that Rick sees his children for the first time and drops his bag as he eagerly runs to them as well. Goodness, this whole thing is just heartwarming x10, I can’t. 🫠

gif cred: @nat111love

And it gets extra heartwarming when we see Judith and RJ for the first time, sprinting to their parents with the biggest smiles on their faces. 😭😭😭 Richonne's babies are here. 🥹

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

The way I rejoiced seeing the adorable Grimes kids running the first time I watched. 🙌🏽 I love seeing how ecstatic they are and the way Judith looks back at her little brother as they run. A true big sister. And of course, I adore that Judith is wearing the sword like her mom and her gun in her holster like her dad and that RJ is wearing his dad's signature Sherriff hat and dressed like little Carl. It’s all so perfect. 🥹

And for me, watching this scene would be the hardest Try Not To Tear Up challenge yet, because the way Judith and RJ smile and run into Michonne’s arms, and the three embrace - My heart bursts. 😭❤️‍🩹

gif cred: @riickgrimes

They all hold so tightly to each other and it’s precious. For a long while, the only Grimes family Judith and RJ had been used to was just the three of them. So it’s really sweet that the three of them have a moment to reunite after missing each other for so long. RJ's smile and Judith's face when she hugs her mom always makes me want to cry.

gif cred: @nat111love

(Side note: There are people out there who ignorantly discredit and downplay Judith and Michonne’s mother/daughter relationship and that will forever be foolish to me (though sadly not surprising 😪). Judith has only ever known life with Michonne, and Michonne has been raising Judith since before she could walk. Their mom/daughter status cannot be denied. Interestingly, Judith is the one Grimes kid who has only ever known life with both Rick and Michonne. Carl was old enough to recall when Michonne entered his life. RJ is old enough to recall when Rick entered his life. But Judith doesn’t recall when either entered her life because her parents have been raising her since she was in diapers. They’re the only mom and dad she’s ever recognized. Yes, Judith knows Michonne didn’t birth her but that’s not the only qualification one needs to be a mom. In every other way, Michonne has been Judith’s mom for as long as she can remember. So when Judith looks at Michonne it’s clear she sees her mom, not 'the woman who looks after her', not her 'play mom' - her mom. 👌🏽)

I love that Michonne gets her own moment to reunite with her kids and that they let that moment breathe. Michonne is the anchor to this reunion as they all look to her as the connecting piece of this family right now. It’s realistic for the kids to take their time greeting Michonne because that’s the only parent they really know.

And just like Rick and Michonne had to do a lot of sacrificing on this journey, so did Judith and RJ.

These kids sacrificed valuable time with their mom so that she could go bring their dad back home. So I love that they get to have a moment of being just so elated to be back in their mom’s arms.

Rick stands in the back of the shot, as he anxiously awaits greeting his kids. I know Rick appreciated seeing this moment between the three and immediately seeing that his kids love and view Michonne just as highly as he does. He got yet another reminder that he chose the perfect woman to be the mother of his kids seeing the way his babies beamed and ran in Michonne's arms. 😊

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And then it is again so precious when Michonne and the kids look at each other and whisper "Hi" and just again have these joyous smiles on their faces.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

RJ’s quiet little ‘hi,’ 🥹 Michonne asking how they’re doing and acknowledging they’ve got so big since she last saw them, 🥹 the way they can’t help but smile and laugh, 🥹 and then when Michonne and Judith put their heads together. 🥹 I love every second.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne finally gets to hold the two who fueled her to keep going even in the moments during this TOWL journey where it felt like all was lost. She was not going to let her kids down and she was going to ensure she made it back to them.And Judith and RJ knew their mom would make it back to them too, no matter how long it took.

I also love seeing Michonne’s M bracelet in the shot. Again, she really came back adorned with gifts from her husband because Rick loves her the way a cherished wife should be loved. And of all the gifts Rick has given Michonne, we know she cherishes most the gift of their children. 💛

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It really is beautiful how we went from Michonne telling Carl one kid was enough for her to her now having four kids (…and counting possibly). And I love the way it's visible how Michonne's soul just lights up so brightly as she holds her kids in her arms.

So as the three embrace, Rick stands back and watches his beautiful family. And the way Rick is looking at them, it’s clear this is all so surreal for him.

It makes sense that Rick would hang back for the reunion as Michonne has a moment with their kids. It reminds me of how on Carl’s last day, Rick approached it like he understood Michonne and Carl needed their time together as a mother and son because he knew he was losing his son and Michonne was too. Also, it's evident during this reunion that Rick wants to be mindful of whatever contact Judith and RJ want with him.

So Judith gives one more smile over at her brother and mom, as Michonne adorably lifts up RJ’s hat and embraces her baby boy, who is not such a baby anymore, saying, “Hi there.”

And then Judith turns to Rick with a smile. As they look at each other, Judith becomes emotional and starts to cry. She walks to Rick and finally, after all this time, gets to embrace her dad. 🥹

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Y’all, there is a reason I put off writing these reunion posts for so long. 😭 This entire scene between these four makes me emotional for so many reasons.

I think it’s so sweet that Rick is letting his kids set the tone for how they want to interact with him in this scene. You know if it were up to him, he’d probably be bawling and pulling them into an embrace, but he also knows that he’s in some ways a stranger to them now. So the thoughtful way Andy plays it, I love that it’s clear Rick wants to let the kids decide what they’re comfortable with. And the second Rick knows they want to hug him, he so tenderly and lovingly hugs them back. 🥹

gif cred: @twdfranchise

The way he hugs Judith, you see how layered this moment is for Rick because he’s so happy to be back with his daughter and also sad to see just how much he’s missed as she’s done a lot of growing up in his absence.

Plus, during his time with the CRM, Rick had to devastatingly accept that he may never see Judith again and even tried to convince himself that maybe she'd be safer if he didn't come home to her and protected her from afar. I feel like hugging Judith right now, Rick probably feels so overcome with emotion knowing that he's actually getting to hold his daughter after thinking he'd never get this chance again.

Hearing Judith cry as she hugs him and seeing the fatherly way Rick holds her head and tries to hold it together while clearly feeling so many emotions. I cannot. ❤️‍🩹 My heart is moved during each part of this Grimes family reunion.

While still hugging him, Judith emotionally says, “I knew it, Dad. I knew you were still out there.” It’s so sweet that this is the first thing she says and that Rick gets to hear that Judith never lost her hope that Rick was alive.

gif cred: @twdfranchise

While Rick came close to ending it a few times during his years away, he managed to stay another day and then another after that and another after that, and I like to think that day by day he was somehow subconsciously being fueled by his wife and kids belief in him. They believed he was still out there and that energy helped keep him here long enough to now be back with them again.

I also love how no one ever came and took Rick’s place in his family’s life because these three Grimes were always believing Rick was still out there. Judith held onto this faith that her dad was alive even when the odds of Rick being alive seemed low. It feels like Michonne modeled that example to her of continuing to believe. And their belief was worth the wait. 🥹

And then Judith looks up at Rick and says, "I just never wanted you to feel alone.” It moves me so much that while Rick was afar hoping Judith was okay, he now gets to know that his daughter had been hoping he was okay too. 🥲

gif cred: @twdfranchise

As a big sister myself, I just gotta say Cailey plays the big sister role so well. Especially when you’re the family-oriented and responsible big sister, you always just want to make sure everyone is okay. Your younger siblings, your parents, aunts, uncles, everybody. And I love that Judith’s big thing was wanting to be sure her dad never felt alone. That’s so caring. 😭

I also feel like her saying this is her reiterating why she encouraged her mom to go after Rick. On the walkies in Michonne's last full TWD episode, Judith told Michonne, "What if he's trying to come home too, but no one will help?" And she was spot on with that prediction. In TOWL ep 3, Rick even verbalized to Michonne that he had asked for help, but he didn't get it.

So even though it made Judith really sad to be away from her mom, she knew Rick might be alone and in need of Michonne's help even more. Never wanting her dad to feel alone was among the many reasons Judith urged Michonne to go get him.

And another thing that's poetic to me is that Judith is such a pivotal character in getting Rick and Michonne to meet the way they did. Had Glenn and Maggie not gone out to the store to get Judith's formula, Michonne wouldn't have run into them and brought the formula to the prison for her future daughter. Also, even the very night Rick and Michonne became an official romantic couple in 6.10, their couch moment began with smiling over Judith on the baby monitor.

Since she was born, Judith has helped ensure her dad didn't feel alone because her very existence played a part in Rick finding his ultimate life partner and soulmate, Michonne.

So next, Rick says his first words to Judith in years when he looks at her and says, “I thought I was..."

I like that he's honest about how he did think he was alone at first. There definitely was a time when Rick was confronted with the depths of loneliness within the CRM.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick continues, "Then I realized..." and I love that he looks over at Michonne as he says this. And the way Michonne holds RJ while smiling at Rick and Judith interacting again for the first time in years. 🥲

All those years in TWD, Michonne saw how much Rick loved Judith, and so it clearly means a lot to her to see Rick face to face with their daughter again. Rick and Michonne both just seem so present and grateful for this moment as parents.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick looks over at Michonne, knowing how instrumental his wife was in both his daughter being who she is today and in helping him realize what he says next - "I wasn’t.” 🥹

It’s really nice to see that Rick realized he was never alone because he always had his family.

When Rick tells Judith that he realized he wasn’t alone, Judith gets to hear Rick essentially say he realized her own little mantra that she wrote on her family drawing, “My family is always with me.”

Judith and Rick both know the sadness of losing your loved ones' memory, but I’m so glad they now have each other back to affirm that while the memory can seem lost, it can always be found again.

gif cred: @andremichaux

Also the way Rick says this line with such a tender tone and tears in his eyes and then he looks at Judith with a smile and blinks probably still trying to comprehend that this little lady in front of him is the daughter he last saw as a toddler. 😭

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

And then Judith cries again as she leans in and hugs Rick and I’m a puddle of tears inside. Like when you think about how hard Rick fought for his daughter all those years on TWD, it’s just so special to now see him get to hold her and already get a glimpse of the great loving person she’s turned out to be.

I know Judith is about to feel so loved and protected by this great dad, and I love thinking about how they’ll now get to reestablish their bond and just have the best father-daughter relationship.

It hit me that years ago, we got to see the very first time both Rick and Michonne ever held baby Judith and how it was a big moment for both of them. While she stirred up painful memories from their past, Judith was also this little bundle of hope for the future in their arms.

And then in this TOWL finale, we beautifully got to see Rick and Michonne hold Judith in their embrace one more time. 🥹

Michonne reuniting with her son and daughter and Rick reuniting with his baby girl were such golden TOWL moments.

With these touching exchanges, the Grimes Family reunions had all occurred. And now it was time for the big Grimes Family introduction. It was time for Rick to finally meet Rick. 😭

So we gotta bring it on home now and talk about the special, heartfelt, and rewarding final moment of The Ones Who Live. 🥰👌🏽

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