#I never -wanted- to be this thin again.

[rowanwolf]

I shall have to rewrite my rant about the African golden wolf suddenly getting all this attention and funding for conservation seven years ago when it was discovered that they are, in fact, genetically wolves and not a subspecies of golden jackal. It has much to do with the whole issue of only some nature being seen as worth protecting. But that's best saved for a time when I'm less tired.

On a completely different note, it's almost the end of November and I've gained about three pounds this month! Woo! That's fantastic! Honestly I think that might be entirely to do with Thanksgiving and having a desk job, but I don't care. Three pounds is three pounds.

I have not been chronicling this here, so most folks are probably unaware of the situation, but I've been trying for months now to gain weight. Or at the very least, stop losing weight. Since last March, I have lost roughly 35lbs. This has been entirely unintentional. It's been attributable to a whole host of factors, but I am now below the bottom end of the healthy weight range for my sister, who is five inches shorter than me. And despite the fact that I've been trying to stop and reverse that process since at least last July... Yeah, this has not been great.

I've dealt with this once before. However, that was purely medication side effects. I also only lost 30lbs and started off 10lbs heavier than I did this time around. So my lowest point this time around was actually 15lbs lighter than my lowest point last time. Without bending or twisting, I can see clearly defined: my shoulder blades, my collar bones, my shoulder sockets, my sternum, every single one of my ribs, all the bones in my hands and wrists.... I'm a mess. It's contributing to a worsening of some of my other rather serious medical conditions and is causing a great deal of fatigue.

So hey, I'll take 3lbs. 3lb is great. It's a good starting point. I need to gain back at least 17lbs, but 3lbs is a good start. And it's even progress! At this point I'd be happy with just stopping the weight loss. But actually gaining weight is great!

[alicenpai]

buncha wanpee busts from may (boa) + 2023 (the sketches) that i never uploaded.. saw da wanpee news on twt today so ive been in the mood

[f-athr]

i’m ovulating.

just the line art and pure black here, as i’m conflicted between liking the shading on the suit but loathing how i can’t figure out how to properly colour any and all skin

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[mymarifae]

hate seeing art of aventurine with abs. we all know how i feel about abs as it is but like i don't think the guy who would have been malnourished for half of his life and has been passively trying to kill himself for the other is going to be a twink-shaped bodybuilder .

he's always been unhealthily thin but he never paid it any mind because hey that's just one more thing that might kill him! but after penacony, after he realizes that he's not actually as ready to die as he thought he was, learning to eat regularly and gaining weight is part of his healing process. and maybe that freaks him out at first, as would every other part of recovery, so it's slow going (as is every other part of recovery. because this is aventurine we're talking about LOL). but with time, he starts to look - and feel - brighter and more alive. are you listening to me. like

GIVE THAT MAN LOVE HANDLES AND STRETCHMARKS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD

[theflirtmeister]

My cat died over the weekend whilst I was away from home. Before I knew, I had a dream where we were sitting outside in the garden and he was fat again and happy.

[musubiki]

hello! quick question, i know this is very soon after you posted the comic of young lime trying to bully mochi, and i’m sorry if a question like this has been asked before, but when mochi sees the candy bits and is able to recognize what spells they could be used in and the effects they have, is that from studying magic a lot or is it like a natural identification ability/instinct that she has? thank you!! i hope you have a good day :)

oh thats a great question actually!!!! it comes from studying!!!!

as a kid she was already trying to be a very diligent witch-to-be!! she would spend a lot of time with her mom while she was making spells, so between reading a lot of spellbooks + hanging out when her mom was making potions + wanting to be like her mom, shes good at spotting things that could be used in spells even from an early age!!

(that being said, as a kid she still messed up a lot on the right ingredients. shed bring home random items and be like "I got us spell ingredients!!" and tiramisu would be like "Oh!! Thanks sweetie!!" and didnt have the heart to tell her that whatever she brought home was some useless piece of grass or something jkldj)

[romionarry]

the rituals are intricate and very comical

[starheirxero]

Never underestimate the ability of just bullshitting ur way through art btw. Sans undertale was giving me trouble with drawing necks when I was in middle school so I haven't drawn a neck in 5 years 😁👍

[spacebubblehomebase]

hi, just letting you know that ahmed 90s-ghost doesn't verify fundraisers anymore! he quit after it got too overwhelming, so you shouldn't @ him asking him to. you can probably find the post about it by searching his blog.

Thanks for letting me know, Anon...

I get it... I REALLY do.

I understand. Y'know I used to be so excited to get Asks. It means someone wants to talk about art and silly cartoon characters with me. But now all I feel is dread. Not because I don't want to help, but because the help I give is never enough. I used to privately mesage back to those Asks, but one became 6 became 10 to... Well. I can't donate. Euros and dollars are valued a lot higher here, thus the opposite is also true. The value of our money is but a paltry bread's worth and even if I split it in crumbs, with the amount of people who approach me for help, it'll soon run dry, but I'm just a student who still rely on my parents financially. So I thought I'd share instead, but that quickly got out of hand. I post one thing and get multiple asks by the HOUR. I already had to apologize for struggling to meet demands before and I only had 3 or 6 rare to come-by short Asks about art. Now I have a hundred and counting I have to check personally. I didn't want to admit it, but I've also long been overwhelmed. I just didn't feel like I had the right to say so. I still don't. But the truth is, anyone can say they're verified too, which is terrible because not only will I be partially responsible for my followers who got scammed by bots or scumbags who take advantage of those at war with fake fundraisers, but even worse is that the help and money may not even reach those who actually need it. I thought I would be fine the first time. I don't really like posting too much about our depressing reality or watching news in general because my account was supposed to be a "safe SPACE" and a "nice little BUBBLE" for us to be happy and escape for awhile, so I didn'tmthink much about rebloggingit at first. I only wanted to help. But it just kept going and I got swept away. There's so many of them, but there's only one of me and I've been spiraling lately. So for now, I will no longer take any Asks about this subject (which I always avoid mentioning directly because the algorithm has it out for putting you guys down and I wanted you all to make it so I didn't tag those reblogs with such). I'll still take Asks provided they're related to my actual content and of course I'll still support raising awareness for Pal est ine, yet I also get it if this may appear selfish to some of you. I tried. I really did. But if you'd rather ignore, unfollow, or block me for this decision, I understand. I'm just sorry it had to come to this and that I wasn't strong enough to help more. -Bubs.

[fredoesque]

want you all to know there is a funhouse mirror version of my crozier dies fic in my mind which goes like. noir au. little is the overworked, constantly stressed pi trying to solve the mystery of francis crozier's untimely death, a man he himself had an unresolved past with. jopson is crozier's much younger, very guarded widower who everyone suspects but who is actually innocent and genuinely loved crozier. and most importantly prominent secondary character billy gibson is jopson's best friend who is one hundred percent convinved jopson did it and one hundred percent supports his decision to off his husband. again something jopson did not in fact do

[thatswhatsushesaid]

didn't anyone ever tell u it's rude to interrupt, da-ge

[zipndots]

have you ever wondered what its like to live forever

[mechanicalprincette]

day 6 of cringetober was unnatural eye color, so here's Anne I guess!

[crazy-fangirl2524]

If you ask me to leave I will

Neil Josten picked up his phone as soon as he saw that it was Andrew.

“-stay. I don’t want you here anymore. Leave, run, like you always do.”

Neil’s entire world crashed. A screaming static rang in his ears and through it he heard the click of the phone call ended by Andrew. A phone, his phone, the phone that Andrew got Neil, clattered onto the floor and Neil went down with it, his legs giving out. Oxygen couldn’t reach his lungs because his lungs had collapsed within him, suffocating his heart while his ribs crushed it simultaneously.

Neil allowed himself just a second on the floor, heart bleeding out and then he pulled himself up so quick that his vision whitened. His duffel bag was packed before he even registered it, it took everything in Neil to leave the keys. Neil could not afford to linger, to look back, to even think for a second why and what did he do wrong. Maybe Andrew realised what a danger he was to his family. With the trials of Nathan going on right now and his ties to the mafia, it made sense. Neil had always been a liability and danger to everyone around him. Look at how his mother had turned out, and Seth and-

Neil stifled any remaining thoughts because if he even hesitated for a second he would not be able to make it out of the door and he could not stay when Andrew did not want him here anymore.

Andrew opened the door before Neil could reach for it. Neil was a greedy bastard because he allowed himself one last look that he would burn to his memory, a small diminishing candle that hopefully could keep him alive on his run. The thought of how Andrew and the foxes would be safe.

Andrew was frowning, his eyebrows furrowing that there was a wrinkle between his eyebrows and some tiny ones on his forehead, his lips were thinned and displease, probably annoyed that Neil was still here when Andrew had already told him to leave.

“I’m sorry, I’m going now.” Neil could not tear his eyes away from Andrew’s face. The silky blond hair tousled from the wind outside, molten gold eyes that was more precious and hard than anything else in the world, that could hold up even Neil’s most fucked up baggage and thoughts. Neil would cherished the time he had with Andrew instead of being greedy that they did not have more.

“Where,”

“Away,” Andrew looked even more tensed now, he had crossed his arms over his chest and he seemed to be blocking the door now. Neil couldn’t complain, whatever bought him more seconds with Andrew would be worth anything.

“Why,” that made Neil paused. Why would Andrew ask when Andrew was the one to ask Neil to leave in the first place. Neil looked more closely and realised how tensed Andrew looked, and not in an annoyed way. Andrew’s eyes looked the same way as when Neil had nightmares, concern for Neil.

“You told me to go,” Neil’s voice sounded ragged even to his own ears. He sounded pathetic and hurt and he cringed from it.

“I never did.” Now Andrew looked angry, the familiar rage settled Neil just a bit.

“You called me and told me to leave and run like I always do,” Neil voice cracked at the word always.

It took Andrew only a few seconds to piece everything together.

“I was talking to Bear.”

Now it was Neil’s turn to be confused, “Who?”

“The stray dog on campus,”

Neil’s lungs expanded and he could finally breath since the phone call. He didn’t even realise how tight he was holding the straps of his duffel bag until he let it dropped and his fingers started to cramp.

“Oh,” the relief must be apparent on his face and then the belated familiar panic attack came but the same steady hand clamped the back of his neck as well.

Neil and Andrew sunk onto the floor and Andrew shoved Neil’s face onto his shoulder. Neil began to laugh hysterically, I can stay I can stay Andrew never asked me to leave, were the only things running through his mind even though his chest was breaking and burning and his hands were shaking and sweating. The grounding hand on his neck was the only thing tethering him to the world and the only thing that made sense and got him to breath through the broken pieces of his body that had turned onto flight mode since the phone call.

Slowly, pieces of his body settled back and his breathing was almost normal. Exhaustion settled in and finally, Neil noticed that his hands had clamped onto Andrew’s hoodie, no his own hoodie, the bright number 10 on Andrew’s back. Finally, Neil pulled slightly away, still close enough that he could smell Andrew’s familiar cologne. He looked up and was met with Andrew’s angry glare. It made Neil smiled.

“I can’t believe you butt dialled me.”

Andrew’s biting hands and lips were the only answer and it was more than enough.

[toxiccwaist]

Helllllpppp my Fwb just walked in on me having a shower he hasn’t seen me since recovery and didn’t say anything!!! (usually he says smth sexy) just closed the door 😭😭 legit hate myself. Why am I so fucking fattttt. Ugh I feel so gross.