#I am in less great shape now and even more underweight.

[rowanwolf]

I shall have to rewrite my rant about the African golden wolf suddenly getting all this attention and funding for conservation seven years ago when it was discovered that they are, in fact, genetically wolves and not a subspecies of golden jackal. It has much to do with the whole issue of only some nature being seen as worth protecting. But that's best saved for a time when I'm less tired.

On a completely different note, it's almost the end of November and I've gained about three pounds this month! Woo! That's fantastic! Honestly I think that might be entirely to do with Thanksgiving and having a desk job, but I don't care. Three pounds is three pounds.

I have not been chronicling this here, so most folks are probably unaware of the situation, but I've been trying for months now to gain weight. Or at the very least, stop losing weight. Since last March, I have lost roughly 35lbs. This has been entirely unintentional. It's been attributable to a whole host of factors, but I am now below the bottom end of the healthy weight range for my sister, who is five inches shorter than me. And despite the fact that I've been trying to stop and reverse that process since at least last July... Yeah, this has not been great.

I've dealt with this once before. However, that was purely medication side effects. I also only lost 30lbs and started off 10lbs heavier than I did this time around. So my lowest point this time around was actually 15lbs lighter than my lowest point last time. Without bending or twisting, I can see clearly defined: my shoulder blades, my collar bones, my shoulder sockets, my sternum, every single one of my ribs, all the bones in my hands and wrists.... I'm a mess. It's contributing to a worsening of some of my other rather serious medical conditions and is causing a great deal of fatigue.

So hey, I'll take 3lbs. 3lb is great. It's a good starting point. I need to gain back at least 17lbs, but 3lbs is a good start. And it's even progress! At this point I'd be happy with just stopping the weight loss. But actually gaining weight is great!

[retired-cyrus]

What the heck, since questions seem sparse right now, I’ll bite. Mod Callous, how is Cyrus’ health? I imagine it’s not too bad. He’s young, and I imagine that if anything he’s feeling better now that he’s in the Distortion World thanks to the socialization, better sleep and decreased stress (and being a smidge underweight isn’t anything to worry about on its own, if he even is).

[ From Mod Callous ]

To avoid confusion in some aspects, I will be referring to "Character Cyrus" as C!Cyrus.

C!Cyrus is, in fact, in better health than he was before being brought to the Distortion World. This goes for physically, mentally, and emotionally. This does not mean he is in great shape however, as he is still making progress on his emotional state, and adjusting to healthier habits. His body is also slowly catching up to the lifestyle much more suited for him.

In terms of his physical condition, he is eating more regularly and with a more sustainable diet and receiving a decent amount of exercise. However, he is still underweight, and is slowly building his strength more.

In terms of his mental health, he is, in fact, much less stressed with his current state. Yet, I am keeping in mind my own reaction to certain anons before our hiatus, combined with the current point C!Cyrus is at with his mental development and the amount of support from others he has access to.

In terms of his emotional health, he is still learning to recognize his emotions, though the extreme ones are primarily what he can grasp at the moment. He recognizes that he would rather be around Austin than alone, that he would rather be within the Distortion World than the real world, and knows what he would prefer in various other situations.

[unrelletable]

The first thing I do when I enter any kind of new environment is to check out if I am the skinniest girl in the room. If the answer to that question is yes, I then usually proceed to relax and enjoy whatever activity I am there to do. It happened while I was in school, when I volunteered for a local non-profit organization, when I worked as a waitress for two months. But also when I started my six months internship, when I looked for my current flat, and it still does when I go shopping for clothes or when I take my dog out for his daily walks. I am pretty sure that this is going to be the first thing I will make sure to be aware of when I enter the first class of the year in a couple of weeks. And I guess it is needless to say I am quite tired of it.

I have never become fully concious of this little trick my brain plays on me until one day I found out that I had gained weigth. And people around me started to make me aware of it. I am not talking about pounds and pounds, but since I had been extremely thin for almost ten years, every new kilo showed on me. Even a single one. People had been complimenting me for my shape, and I had always thanked out loud my fast metabolism for it. When actually years before I had lost a considerable amount of weight due to pretty heavy treatments I had to go through because of a bone cancer. So we were definitely not talking lucky genes back then. In order to gain that weight back - we are talking about around fifteen kilos: I was 163 cm high and right after my last treatment session my body did not weigh more than 37 kgs - it took me quite a few years. According to the medical tables, my weight was finally considered healhty for my height, age and sex two years ago. Which meant that it took me exactly eight years to go back to be in an average shape. 

But this is not what society and diet culture made me believe for the most part of those years - and still does. I can not recall how many times people had made amazed comments on how great I looked and how hard they wished their body could process food as fast as mine. I have always considered these affirmations as positive and never - even for a split second - questioned the fact that a visibly underweight body was considered the dream body by so many people. I was grateful for being so thin, and I have enjoyed fitting into the smallest pieces of clothing without the need of holding my breath or sucking my tummy in. Until I had to. 

As I said, my current weight is perfectly average. I am not either too skinny or chubby. My tummy shows little rolls when I sit, but looks flat when I stand. I still wear size 4 jeans and I have never had to buy something sized M yet. I guess I still fit into the thin category, so according to the society that glorifies thigh gaps and visible collarbones I should not worry. Just yet. Unfortunately though, the diet culture we live in began to pull its strings on me at the very moment when I realized I was no more the skinniest girl in the room. 

I do not know what came with the conciousness of being the girl who weighed less than any other. Probably the fact that I was succeeding at something, and that I would be noticed for it. I do not like being the centre of attention, but I literally loved when someone would point out how thin I was and started asking how I could manage to keep my body so fit. I have never explained the actual reason why I could wrap my fingers around my wrist and a twist them leaving out a considerable amount of space. Firstly, because I was not at a point in my life where I felt confident enough to speak about my cancer diagnosis, even though by that time I had completely healed; secondly, because I liked the fact that people thought that the shape of my body was something I had to take credit for. It made me feel as if I stood out in the crowd, not realizing that it was for a completely wrong reason. 

The actual moment of realization that I had some issues about the way my body looked came around a year and a half ago, but I would say that did not have much of an impact until the beginning of the new year. By then I had found a internship and even though I had planned to, I did not have much time to invest in working out. Everything changed with the coming of Covid and the following quarantine: having tons of free hours felt like an obligation to exercise. And so I did. 

Chloe Ting became my workout pal and the background music of her Five Weeks Shred Challenge’s videos my nightmare: I sweated for almost an hour every single day for more than a month and restricted my diet to the point where I would allow myself a treat only on Sunday. The very first weeks were the absolute worst: my tummy would groan constantly and I would feel hungry all the time. I would wake up hungry, be hungry after half an hour from breakfast, not feel satisfied at lunch and dinner, and I would literally go to bed with a hole in my stomach. The only snacks I had was fruit, and I did not eat any kind of carbohydrates apart from pasta at lunch. No bread, no biscuits, no crackers. For a good four months. Eventually my body got used to the lack of food, and started to burn calories from the inside. I lost a couple of kilos and my abs started to show, my legs became definitely more toned and I was almost completely cellulite-free. 

But all I would do, all the time, was thinking about food. I would count down the days that were left until Sunday every week, and when that day would come I binged like there was no tomorrow. Causing myself to feel extremely nauseous for the next couple of days. In case I would eat something prohibited during the weekdays, I would feel extremely disappointed with myself, as if a single teaspoon of chocolate cream would actually make a difference. I would weigh myself almost every morning and feel an ache of pain in case the scale would detect a couple of hundred grams of difference from the previous morning. My goal was to finally gain a body like the ones overcelebrated on Instagram, but luckily I did not.

Around the middle of August it finally struck me. I had listened to one episode of a podcast series - for my fellow Italians, I am talking about Palinsesto Femminista - that shed the light on the topic of body positivity and its actual mean. It took me a good couple of days to process all the amazing things I had heard on that hour long conversation involving one of the two founders of the Belle di Faccia association, but eventually it did. I was minding my own businesses trying to decide whether I was allowed a slice of bread with Nutella for breakfast and all of a sudden I found myself asking Being skinnier would make me actually happier? And the straight answer to that was no.

I would love to say that for the past month it has been a walk in the park and that I have not felt guilty eating while eating crisps or having cookies with my morning tea, but I have to reckon that there has been a change. When I work out, I do it because I like the sensation I get aftewards and not because it would get me a step closer to my dream body. Even though I still eventually think that I will go back to eat in the way I did during quarantine, I have decided that in that case I will not restrict myself like I used to. I have realized that I want to eat clean for my body to feel good, and not in order to avoid a couple of tiny rolls on my stomach. I had to brainwash myself out of the concept that what I see online is the actual reality and that it should be the norm. Every body should be valid, regardless of their weight or shape. No one should feel forced to starve themselves in order to comply with an aesthetic that is simply not realistic. I have to say that online accounts like the ones of @/namastehannah and @/danaemercer have had a great impact on my approach to exercise and reality in the past months, and in case you are struggling with the same kind of unrealistic expectations about the way your body should look like I highly recommed that you check them out. 

After six months of ups and downs in the relationship with my body image, I have come to the point that I definitely should try to worry less about the way I look. I went through something similar with the acceptance of my face, and back then not having to wear make up for half a year thanks to the fact that I had to look after to kids and knew no one in the neighbourhood kind of made me become more confident with showing my bare face. And since I had the chance to do it all over again thanks to self-isolation, I have learned to become familiar with the sleepy face I see everytime I wake up. And I have to admit that I actually started to like it. I am sure sure if I will brave enough not to put any kind of make up on when I go to classes, but we will just have to wait to find it out. Who knows.

Thus I am hoping that I will be able to go through the same process with my body as a whole as well. I am now concious of the fact that I do not have to necessarily love the shape I am in, but I simply need to accept it for what it is and all the things that it allows me to do on a daily basis. I now know that it can change a thousand times during my lifetime, or even a single day, and regardless of it, it will always be worth. Let’s be honest, most posts of flat tummies and toned booties are edited or posed anyway. So what I am going to try to do is to let go of these insanely unhealthy expectations and focus on what makes me feel good. Regardless of those around me or those who pop up on the explore page.

- body image issues and other stories

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 154

August 12

LOL my computer won't show me my pin login screen unless I press the soft boot keys first, that's not a bad sign, is it? 

Anyway, another day of entirely kittens! Three hour feeds means breakfast starts at 6am, bright and early! Second breakfast rolls out around 9, just in time for a nice lunch at noon. Second lunch is at 3pm, followed by early bird dinner at six. Fashionably late dinner (attended by all the same diners, of course) is at 9pm, then we all have a midnight snack that is in fact a full meal. A 3am top-up finishes the day's menu, and everybody gets one more nap before breakfast. Whew! In the middle of this, the weanlings also get fed on their own, slightly less rigid schedule consisting of "We have finished the food, human! What the hell are you playing at?" 

The good news is that eight daily feedings are paying off in terms of baby weight gain. All of the teenies are up by at least 20g over yesterday, which is an excellent daily gain equivalent to the weight of about four US quarters. Given that they were very underweight to start with, rapid gain and good suckling are very encouraging signs. Orphan kittens always have a tough row to hoe and things could go wrong, but it's a great start. They also have names nowI I ran the two sets of names by the coordinator and she okayed the Harper Hall set, woo-hoo! Without further ado (or photo editing to make these pics smaller because I am exhausted), meet the Harpers! 

First off is Menolly, of course. She is white and black with a mostly white body and a white blaze on her face (her first given name for my notebook was "Stripe"). Menolly is the smallest of the kittens by just a few grams and earned her name by being the loudest and most energetic yeller by an order of magnitude. She always gets fed first, because she is apparently always STARVING. Menolly was also the first kitten to escape her bin; I found her snuggled up next to Audiva this morning and had to put binder clips on the towel cover. 

Next is Audiva, the other female, and much less obvious of a naming choice. If she'd been bigger or louder she might have been Silvinia, but she's pretty laid back and mostly enjoys snuggling in with her stuffed puppy fake mama and sleeping on her back. (She was "Dot" to start with, because she has one black spot on her back and the white stripe on her face wraps around her ear to make the black spot a round dot.) 

Sebell has facial markings that are not dissimilar from Menolly's, but where her body is mostly white, his is tuxie black. (He was "Blaze" to start with becausse of the white blaze up his face and chest.) Sebell just about gave me a goddamned heart attack this afternoon by not only slipping out of his bin but leaving the bins entirely and going a few feet away to a place where I could easily have stepped on him. I like to think I would've noticed him before I did, but luckily the kiddo was with me and quickly pointed out the wanderer. Yikes! There is such a thing as living up too much to your name, journeyman. 

The final kitten is Robinton, the biggest and most distinguished of the kittens thanks to his handsome white mustache! (He was "Stashy" in the book for obvious reasons.) Robinton is possibly the most businesslike kitten I have ever encountered. When I pick him up he pees and usually poos as well, lets himself be wiped up, then latches onto the bottle like it's going out of style. He's gained 30g already and has a handsome portly tummy to go with his handsome face.

  The little kittens did well today, but Zuko lost some weight and I'm not sure why. I'm hoping the tick we pulled off him isn't making him sick a few days later. I penned him up with some food to make sure he'd get enough, but all he did was cry, so I pulled him out, snuggled him, and then syringe fed him meat mush through a luer lock with no tip in it. It was messy work, but he ate some! I'm going to keep on keeping an eye on him, but he's certainly been very active. The others are all gaining well and eating well. The kiddo has been spending a lot of time taking Aang into his room and playing with him whenever I say he can. It's probably just as well if these kittens depart this weekend; we cannot get another cat if we want to keep fostering and I don't want him to get his little heart broken when it's time to say goodbye. 

In non-heartbreaking news, I proved my Minecraft chops and general motherly acumen today when I fixed the kiddo's bugged game by successfully typing /gamemode creative into the text window in the very few seconds between respawn and death after the kiddo accidentally redrew the borders of the world to exclude the place where he was. He'd been getting a little wound up worrying about it but all's well that ends well, and I showed him how to back up his game to prevent future disasters from being ruinous. It's funny because I remember back when he was maybe two or three years old and my motion sickness wasn't so acute, he'd like to sit on the arm of my recliner and watch me play Minecraft. It was fun, but it added difficulty because he unconditionally refused to let me kill the cute animals for food or materials. Suffice it to say he has gotten over that qualm and is now a first rate hunter and farmer. 

The only other real thing of note today was our trip to the thrift store. The thrift store was closed for many months during the pandemic, and we've only been back a couple times since they opened despite it being one of my favorite places. Today's trip was ostensibly for the purpose of acquiring suitable fake mama animals for when the teenies inevitably pee or poop on the ones they have, but we found many other goodies as well. They put all their pet, garden and summer stuff on half price sale, so I got a Topsy Turvy planter for a buck, a couple of blue ice cooler packs for less than a dollar each, and a really startlingly nice crate-style cage for small animals for just three dollars. I am betting it was probably 40 at the store and it looked new, so I'm very pleased. We're always looking for crates for transfering kittens or friendly ferals without taking up our scarce box traps! I also got six or seven appropriately sized stuffed animals for the non-hypothetical kittens. 

The kiddo got into a bin of 50 cent electronics toys with no batteries, sold take-your-chances style, and got a little ray gun, two Perry the Platypus walkie-talkies, and a bluetooth speaker. Everything but the gun worked, so it was a heck of a good deal even though he did wind up getting his finger stuck in the ray gun while disassembling it and needing a good spritz of cooking spray to release him. My best find was probably the nonstick Pampered Chef two-handled skillet in great shape for five bucks. I couldn't find the exact pan online because it's probably older, but I don't think PC sells any pans for less than like 100 bucks, so I was quite pleased. It's a great size for omelettes, stir fry, eggs, whatever. Every time I move, I have to go through and get rid of most of my pans, and every time I settle down again, I rebuild my collection. It's the circle of life! 

[jamiebluewind]

Fantasy High Theory: Fabian has an eating disorder

TW: eating disorder symptoms, anorexia symptoms, abuse mention, death mention, violence mention, gun mention, alcohol mention, drug mention, trauma mention, smoking mention,...

Word Count: about 2100

I know this is a big assumption to make with what we have, but I couldn't ignore all the data and the warning signs. In fact, I think that even if Fabian does not have an eating disorder at this time, he's certainly at risk for one and needs the issues addressed before it gets worse.

Before I get into it, let me remind everyone that I am about to talk about a very heavy subject. Remember, stay safe and consider the warnings before you continue. You can always message me for a summary of the red flags or for an edited version if you need it. I would rather you be safe than to have you're like on my theory.

Okay? Okay. Let's start by defining a few things.

Eating Disorder: Any of a range of psychological disorders in which people experience severe disturbances in their eating behaviors and related thoughts/emotions. People with eating disorders typically become pre-occupied with food and/or their body weight/shape.

ARFID: Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder is an eating disorder characterized by eating very little food and/or avoiding eating certain foods. It does not include having a distorted body image (as occurs in anorexia nervosa) or being preoccupied with body image (as occurs in bulimia nervosa). People with avoidant/restrictive food intake may not eat because they lose interest in eating or because they think eating has harmful consequences. They may avoid certain foods because of their color, consistency, or odor. When it becomes more severe, it can cause substantial weight loss, slower-than-expected growth in children, difficulty participating in normal social activities, and sometimes life-threatening nutritional deficiencies.

Anorexia nervosa: Diagnosed when patient BMI (body mass index which is a rule of thumb measuring body size vs mass) is low for their age and height. Severity is classified as mild (BMI of greater than 17), moderate (BMI of 16–16.99), severe (BMI of 15–15.99), or extreme (BMI of less than 15). Hallmarks of anorexia include limited food intake, excessive monitoring of the calorie and fat content of food, fear of being “fat”, problems with body image, denial of low body weight, excessive exercise, food rituals, cold intolerance, mood swings, sleeping issues, chronic fatigue, distorted body image, and many more. Eventually, the body goes into starvation which cause a lot of bad symptoms.

Atypical anorexia nervosa: All of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met, except the individual's weight is within or above the normal range.

Again, ANY BMI can still mean a person has an eating disorder. It is NOT confined to those that are underweight. The BMI is only there as a red flag and to help classify severity of anorexia. I want to make this very clear, not just for my theory, but for the people reading this who recognize parts of it in themselves or others. I'm about to give an example that gets... personal in order to show that people who don't fit the stereotype of being underweight can still have an eating disorder. How personal? My own.

I am overweight to obese (depending on the doctor and the range). I don't exercise much. I eat pretty well around friends. But I have an eating disorder. I just... don't get hungry most of the time, so I forget to eat a lot more often than is healthy. A LOT more. I've been to the hospital a few times due to dehydration. I've collapsed because I literally forgot to eat for two or three days. I could have died at one point because despite being overweight, I was eating so little that things just... stopped working. Again, I was overweight. People and doctors thought I was just lazy. I was told to eat less and exercise more. Even my blood tests came back fine until one day, they didn't. And even then, nobody listened. Somebody doesn't have to look how you expect them to in order to have a problem. Also, don't be afraid to reach out for help if you feel like some of this hits close to home or someone you know is showing symptoms. It's okay to need help.

So remember, eating disorders can affect anybody with any body. The important thing is to be kind, supportive, and encourage professional help such as cognitive therapy.

****

Now to list Fabian's risk factors (I only listed the ones I believe he has)

Dysfunction family: This is a big risk factor for Fabian. His father is chaotic evil and (despite loving his son) puts massive pressure on him and tries to make him conform to his ideal for most of Fabian's life. Fabian has seen his father abuse his crew and snap at the drop of a hat. His mother has been a heavy alcoholic and mostly absent his entire first 16 years and when she gets off alcohol, she puts an extreme amount of pressure on him herself.

Abuse: This is another big one. His parents have been verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, neglectful in a variety of ways, controlling, manipulative, isolating, and his mother rested his food intake. He could have also been physically abused in the guise of sparing.

Genetics: Fabian's mother is very slim. Using images of weights and comparing it to her shape, she in fact fits the underweight shape which may or may not imply a genetic component depending on if the normal body shapes are different for high elves or not.

Exposure to warped body ideals and weight stigma: Exposure to "body ideals" in places like the media (especially if at a young age) can increase body dysfunction and eating disorder risk. Weight stigma can make this worse due to discrimination and stereotyping based on a person’s weight. Fabian has actually been exposed to this a lot due to his father and the crew. He's a kid around very strong muscular people and he feels pushed to get stronger to live up to his dad. It's also very easy to imagine that crew members who were not strong or active enough got a very bad reaction from his father, which would reinforce the ideal. Some of this is conjecture, but it's not so far outside the realm of possibility to be impossible.

Participation in sports: He's on the Bloodrush team and is a fencer.

Pressure to have a certain body shape from family: I think this risk factor is there too, especially when his mother takes over training.

Bullying/Teasing: Fabian was actually bullied by peers when he first starts school, but I believe his parents were bullying him long before that.

Trauma and PTSD: Oh boy, is this solid. He was most likely traumitized by his parents before high school. He saw two new friends die the first day of school and nearly died himself, only saved by Riz. He watched two teachers die by gunshot right in front of him (and a staff member killed by bludgeoning). Fabian mentions having nightmares about Riz killing Daybreak which might have been due to it being via gunshot. He was forced to kill people due to the situation he found himself in. The person who was supposed to have been helping them the entire time (Biz) turned out to be an evil dude who trapped one friend in a palimpsest and wanted to capture another. He was stuck in jail for weeks! His family was attacked, his home was damaged, and his dad died (and by his hand no less). He and his friends almost died to a dragon. That's a LOT of trauma for a kid to try to process and Jawbone mentioned that he never came to visit him, so he probably dealt with a lot of it on his own.

Low self-esteem: This is unfortunately something else he has. Despite all the bravado, he doesn't know how to be a friend or have people like him for who he is (instead of who his parents are or how much money he has). He tries to put up a cool front, but he judges himself very harshly.

Perfectionism. One of the strongest risk factors for an eating disorder is perfectionism, especially self-oriented perfectionism, which involves setting unrealistically high expectations for oneself. If they fail to meet their high expectations, the person becomes very self-critical. Fabian has this type of perfectionism.

History of an anxiety disorder: This one is reaching, but possible. People often show signs of an anxiety disorder (generalized anxiety, social phobia, OCD,...) before the onset of an eating disorder and Fabian stays on edge a lot, worries excessively, puts up a front, and deals with nightmares.

Substance abuse: Fabian has had alcohol and drugs before the age of 16, his parents almost encouraging it. He smokes regularly. Addiction runs in his family as well with his mother being an alcoholic and his father doing multiple drugs. Neither parent even hides the fact that they take drugs and drink alcohol to excess, the crew probably took drugs and got drunk in front of a young Fabian, and Bill offered drugs to his friends upon meeting them.

History of using weight-controling methods and dieting: Fabian exercises a great deal. He skips meals. He has a limited number of things he will eat. There is a lot of evidence to back this up.

Limited social networks: This was a HUGE issue before high school. Fabian was very isolated. He had no friends, limited social activities, and lacked proper social support. Recently, he's been skipping class exclusively which on top of smoking a lot, puts distance between him and other people.

Long story short? Our boy is at risk. Big time.

****

List of common signs of eating disorders (including anorexia)

Limited food intake: Seen when he has mostly protein smoothies, his mother tries to give him limited rations, and when he refuses to eat with his friends more and more as the series goes on. The first incident of it was in Cool Kids, Cold Case where Fabian refused the food he was offered on two separate occasions, passing it to Riz both times. Once was after the battle with Daybreak and being stuck at the police station a good while. The other was when the teens were hanging out at Riz's appartment when Sklonda got takeout. Fabian's mom also makes him earn food as seen in the live show. This mentality could have very well been internalized, even with Cathilda there to try and give him more.

Excessive monitoring of the calorie and fat content of food: He worries about empty calories, how fattening something is, and removed the cheese from a slice of pizza and dabbed the oil

Fear of being “fat” or in a shape that is not the ideal: In episode 1 of season 2, he is very preoccupied with staying trim and tight.

Excessive exercise: He exercises who knows how long every morning plus for Bloodrush plus the times outside of that

Food rituals: This is interacting with food a certain way (like small bites or how it's prepared) which causes anxiety when not followed. The pizza event might be one, but it's hard to say without a pattern.

Sleeping issues: Fabian has issues with sleeping, dreaming, and nightmares. His father confirmed this and he himself mentioned his nightmares.

Weight loss: By comparing his previous official artwork with his new official artwork, it's easy to see that Fabian looks visibly thinner. He's also VERY cut. (very defined muscles requiring very little fat) for his age. He was muscular last year sure, but his chest and abs are much more defined this year. Being that cut means that despite how muscular Fabian is, he has been eating less and probably doing fat burning exercises, getting a lot of his nutrition from multivitamins and whey, and would have less energy than normal.

Negative energy balance/chronic fatigue: This is only a possibility, but it deserves being mentioned. If this is going on, it puts a spin on some of Fabian's other actions in season 2, episode 1. He showed up late on move in day and didn't really move anything (just carried a book), which might have been a character thing, but could have also been because Fabian is running on empty and capable of things like adrenaline fueled busts of energy, but otherwise dealing with low energy and fatigue.

Also, Fabian is smoking now which works as an appetite suppressant as is common among those with eating disorders.

(Signs with no evidence as of this post: problems with body image, denial of low body weight, cold intolerance, mood swings)

~*~*~*~*~*~

TLDR: Fabian is showing a lot of symptoms of an eating disorder and also over a dozen risk factors. The number of both is substantial enough to see a pattern. Enough that I sincerely hope that it's acknowledged during the season because if Fabian does not have an eating disorder, he is at substantial risk of developing one.

PS: I know it's data heavy, I might have missed a few things, and it could be totally wrong, but I seen enough there that I thought it might make for a solid theory. D20 is no stranger to heavy subjects and I think if they do cover it, they will do a good job (as always). If they don't, I still learned a lot making this theory and maybe a few of you will as well. ^_^

[bellsadventuresworld]

                                                 Metabolism

You’ve probably heard about a little thing called metabolism that gets a lot of hype in the weight loss world. You’ve probably also heard something along the lines of “I have trouble losing weight because I have a slow metabolism”, “My eating disorder has destroyed my metabolism so I’ll be fat forever”, or even the most cringing of all, weight loss adds boasting:  “Boost your metabolism by using this simple trick…”.

With all the propaganda and misinformation posted carelessly online, how do you know what to trust? A simple Google search on the topic can be misleading and overwhelming as research is often long, tedious and conflicting in nature. Below is a compilation of slow, methodical research from scientific journals and other sanctified, credible sources. Please note that the information in this post should never be used as a substitute for medical advice from your doctor. This is simply an attempt to evaluate the correlation between weight loss and metabolism. More specifically, this post is intended to explore what eating disorders do to the metabolism and bust some dangerous myths about increasing the rate of weight loss. Strap in my rexy friends, you’re in for the long haul with this one. Let’s educate ourselves and reach those goal weights! (If this is too long to read in one go, I get it! Book mark it for later and digest in sections)

Note that there is a lot of physiology, systems and different topics that contribute important, valid information to this particular discussion. Without writing a text book sized post I cannot possibly cover all of it. The goal of this post is to give you a brief understanding of metabolism. As I grow this blog I will break down subtopics for further explanation.  

Section A: What is metabolism?

We hear about it often but few of us know what it really is or what it actually does.  Your metabolism is defined as the sum total of all biochemical reactions that take place in the body over time. This includes basic life-sustaining functions like breathing, circulating blood (I.e. vasomotor tone, heart rate and contractility), repairing damaged cells/ mounting immune attacks on foreign bodies, halting cancerous cell production, supplying glucose to the brain in order to think, and a multitude of other cool, autonomic things your body does to keep you alive. Just like a car, In order to keep a metabolism running we have to supply the body with gas. In this case the currency is the dreaded calorie. Those autonomic functions we just talked about that allow us to laugh over memes or ogle over thinspo have a base need for calories called the basal metabolic rate. Your basal metabolic rate, or BMR, is the number of calories your body needs to survive everyday if you don’t do anything….seriously. All you have to do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and your body will burn calories. Pretty neat. Everyone’s BMR is different and is based on factors like height, weight, gender, and body fat percentage. Your personal BMR can be calculated easily online. We will get to why this is important in a bit or maybe in another post, but first we need to finish building some foundation.  Your metabolism works like this:

There are two main functions of the metabolism: anabolism and catabolism. To illustrate this, we will describe them as construction teams. Think of anabolism as the building team responsible for installing a new skyscraper. Anabolism is the process that takes protein building blocks synthesized from the food you eat to make new materials and cells to maintain your tissues. Think of catabolism as the demolition specialists. In other words, this team is responsible for breaking down the old skyscraper to make room for the new one.  Catabolism is the process that breaks down existing body fat and carbs to recycle into new energy (the bodies chosen energy source is ATP but we will discuss this topic another day as this post is already extremely long). In fact, It is estimated by some researches that as much as 10% of the calories from carbs and proteins you eat are used during digestion, meaning you don’t store those calories as body fat. One by-product of breaking molecular bonds is heat, and therefore catabolism helps regulate body temperature too (hence why most of us are freezing ALL THE TIME when heavily restricting or fasting).  So all of this is great, but what does it mean?

Let’s talk about what would happen to the skyscraper if our teams didn’t work right. If the demolition team didn’t have enough usable materials from the tower they torn down to give the building team and no new materials were provided, the new tower would never get built and the project would fail.  If there is no excess body fat to burn and no caloric input, catabolism processes begin to attack vital organs, muscle and bone in order to free energy. This is why eating disorders cause your hair to fall out, your skin to chap, become wrinkly and irritated, your bones to become brittle, your organs to die and you to live in a perpetual state of cold. You might be reading this thinking “I’m not underweight yet and I still have some of this happening”. You’re right. You probably do, so what’s going on? The body is really good at surviving on very little (thank you cave man ancestors) and has lots of safety guards in place that are very inconvenient to our disordered approach to weight loss. When we severely restrict and regulate our caloric intake, the brain sends signals to the body that sound all the alarms and we enter a state of starvation (we will talk hormones another day). Just like a chipmunk over the winter who doesn’t know the next time he will find food is, our metabolism gets greedy and stuffs its cheeks with copious amounts of calories to store. This is why long periods of fasting are proven to slow the metabolism and cause weight gain.  Other methods like intermittent fasting are more effective weight loss techniques (again we will discuss this in another post). Note that the posts you see about fasting for ten days and losing 20 pounds may be real but are dangerous and unrealistic for most people. At that point in a fast weight loss may become rapid because the body is being forced to use the last of the reserves it has to keep you breathing. Remember that these reserves are your organs and muscle tissue- the things that keep you ALIVE.

Section B: I have control issues- so how do I make metabolism my slave?

Bottom line: You don’t, you can’t, and you never will be able to…mostly.  Sorry friends, this one hurts but unfortunately your metabolism is greatly determined by your genetics, body composition, and natural sex…. All things you don’t have control over. It’s obvious we can’t change our genes or inherent sex (even if you transition into the opposite sex, you were still born with hormones and reproductive organs specific to one gender or the other. Your chromosomes don’t change even as you become who you were meant to be). Men generally have a greater proportion of muscle to body fat and therefore a faster metabolism than women. Women generally have a slower metabolism and carry a greater amount of body fat than men because we are tasked with supporting child birth. It’s also important to understand that as we age, our metabolism generally ages with us and slows down.  Now let’s chat about body composition.  When I was first putting together information for this post I refused to believe that I don’t control my body composition. I mean if exercise more and eat less I will have more muscle and less body fat right? There. I changed my body composition! Not quite… while that statement is true in some regards, that’s not the kind of composition we’re talking about here. We are talking about your frame and body size.  I am 5 ft 1in tall and labeled as “petite”. I have a set amount of muscle on my body that is very different than a person who is 6ft tall. Regardless of how good of shape I am in and the amount of muscle mass or tone I have, the 6 footer will always have one up on me. The taller you are, generally the more calories you will burn in a day because you physically have more mass (not fat) to move. The same concept applies to animals. It will take a giraffe more energy than a Chihuahua to move its body every day because the giraffe is 49 times bigger than the Chihuahua. Does this mean the Chihuahua is fat because it uses less energy and burns less calories that the giraffe? Does it mean the giraffe is fat because it needs to consume more calories than the Chihuahua just to get out of bed? Of course not! We can’t compare the two because they are inherently different, but as humans we like to compare everything about ourselves to everything about everyone else. This leads to a lot of disappointment, binges, purges and tears. Trust me, I know this first hand as I’m sure you do too.  Understanding your metabolic needs and ignoring others will help you reach that goal weight so let’s stop comparing as it just tears us down.  

Section C: Are you sure I can’t increase my metabolism?

Your metabolism can be altered for short periods of time but generally stays at a constant rate. In other words, drinking your black coffee can give you a boost in calorie burning power for an hour or so but will not add significantly to your daily caloric burn. Oh, and did I mention that when the body is used to getting certain foods or stimulants it becomes dependent on the item and it loses its super power? That’s right, not only do you have to drink coffee every morning to function, but that bitter black stuff you force yourself to drink stops boosting metabolism altogether. Win-Win right?

Contrary to popular belief, your metabolism plays only a minor role in weight loss and should not be the main focus of your journey. Instead you should focus on lifestyle choices like what you eat, when you eat and how much physical activity you are doing. At the end of the day, regardless of where our calories come from, weight loss, in a nutshell ,comes down to caloric deficit. You will not lose weight if you don’t burn more calories than you eat. Below is a list of popular ways to “increase” your metabolism as well as the truth behind them.

Myth #1: Exercise boosts your metabolism long after you stop- AKA “the after burn”

Exercise will increase your metabolism in proportion with the amount of muscle you gain. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn, the faster your metabolism. The concept of after burn is a novel thought that you continue to burn calories long after your work out stops. This is only half true. Exercises that elevate heart rate like swimming, biking, running and high intensity workouts burn lots of calories while you’re doing them but not so much at rest. Metabolism is kind of like breathing. You breathe hard and fast while you’re running and for a few minutes after that but then your breathing becomes normal again. The metabolism works the same way. You may continue to burn an increased number of calories for a couple hours after your workout ends but eventually metabolism will return to a resting state. Keep in mind that your brain, heart, kidneys, liver, and lungs account for most of the energy used in a day as they never get to rest. Exercise is important but is not the main source of energy consumption.

Be sure not to overindulge in calories after a workout thinking you will burn them all off. You won’t. That being said, you do need to refuel the body with some sort of clean protein after a workout if you would like to gain the muscle you worked for.  You might be thinking “but I don’t care about the muscle….I care about the skinny!!” I’m here to tell you why you should care.

We aren’t talking muscle like the body builders and Instagram fitness models sport. We are talking lean, functional muscle that is vital for holding your bones together. More importantly, your heart is a muscle and needs to be maintained.

I personally aim to eat a light, healthy meal within an hour after my work out, especially if I trained hard that day. An example of something I might throw together post workout would be a bed of spiralized zucchini with homemade marinara sauce and broccoli (broccoli is high in protein) or a salad with a variety of fresh veggies, toasted nuts or seeds and a light vinegar dressing. If I really can’t stomach a real meal after working out I at least try to heat up a cup of green peas with salt and pepper. The salt is an electrolyte important for muscle contraction and green peas are surprisingly high in protein and low in calories: one cup of frozen peas has about 130 calories and contains 8.6 grams of protein not to mention vitamins A, C, calcium and iron. I like these options because they are low calorie, high volume so I feel full and I am able to sleep without hunger pains.

Eating after a workout also helps avoid binges (have you ever fasted and worked out like crazy? The hunger is 10,000 times harder to control). I cannot stress enough how important it is to avoid a binge, purge, restrict cycle. It wreaks absolute havoc on your metabolism. Eating disorders confuse the body and force it into a state of reduced function so we have to do our best to provide nutrients where we can.

Regular aerobic exercise. Aerobic exercise is the most efficient way to burn calories and includes activities such as walking, bicycling and swimming. As a general goal, include at least 30 minutes of physical activity in your daily routine.

If you want to lose weight or meet specific fitness goals, you may need to increase the time you spend on physical activity even more. If you can't set aside time for a longer workout, try 10-minute chunks of activity throughout the day. Remember, the more active you are, the greater the benefits.

Safety reminder: if you are fasting or heavily restricting (below 500 cals per day), don’t work out. If you feel the need to do something, a simple walk will suffice. You wouldn’t try to run a car without gas, don’t try to run your body without food. Be smart. Life is a balance, learn to listen to your body and hear it when it tells you how much it can take.

Strength training. Strength training exercises like weightlifting a couple times a week are really good for bone structure. You don’t have to left heavy and become bulky, but putting the bones under strain and weight is a good way to strengthen them. Over time, as you continue to lift, the body will remodel your bones and they will become physically thicker around the areas under the most stress. These areas are your joints and connection points. Strengthening and thickening the bone won’t make you appear any bigger then you are, it simply offers protection to your frame. Lifting is good for everyone but a critical consideration for my female Anna’s reading this. Women are already at a greater risk of developing osteoporosis (a painful condition where the bones become weak and brittle and break easily) and adding an eating disorder on top of that more than doubles the risk of developing early onset osteoporosis. Strength training and making sure you are consuming calcium are vital for saving yourself from a lot of pain and irreversible damage to your joints and bones.  

Lifestyle activities. Any extra movement helps burn calories. Look for ways to walk and move around a few minutes more each day than the day before. Easy things you can do that help keep you active without having to slave for hours in the gym or eat large amounts to keep up with heavy exercise are as follows.

Taking the stairs more often and parking farther away at the store are simple ways to burn more calories. Even activities such as gardening, washing your car and housework burn calories and contribute to weight loss. When you’re making food or tea, do some calf raises, stretch while reading a book. Movement is medicine. Include it however creatively you can

Myth #2: Eating certain foods can boost your metabolism.

Let me step on a soap box real quick. Friends, you have to believe me! Downing cups of apple cider vinegar, cold water and green tea really isn’t helping as much as you think! And really, who actually likes the taste of pure vinegar? Eating foods like green tea, caffeine, or hot chili peppers will not help you shed excess pounds. Some foods and drinks may provide a small boost in your metabolism that help jump start the body, but not enough to make a significant difference in your weight. Here’s the skinny on some popular metabolism boosting tricks.

Tea: Tea, namely green tea, is a popular go to for weight loss but slow down before you make tea time all the time. Below is a statistic that can be a bit confusing:

“Studies have found green tea contains a compound called epigallocatechin gallate, which may increase the calories and fat you burn. A 2011 meta-analysis published in Obesity Reviews found that consuming about 250 milligrams of epigallocatechin gallate (the amount in about three cups of green tea) helped boost metabolism enough to burn an average of 100 extra calories a day.”

This study talks about how green tea was found to increase the metabolism and aid in weight loss. 100 calories a day seems like a pretty good trade-off for drinking a few cups of hot, naturally flavored water. Buts lets break this down. First, this study was conducted with overweight individuals. The higher your starting weight, the easier it is to drop pounds quickly. Without further research, it’s hard to say if individuals staring at a normal weight or underweight would see the same results. Likely not. Second, this quote fails to reveal the sample volume that was used or discuss moderators of weight loss. In one review of multiple different studies on green tea and weight loss, it is clear that the correlation between dropping a few pounds and drinking tea is complicated by factors like the amount of caffeine in the tea and the ethnicity of the individual consuming the beverage. Caffeine is an appetite suppressant and can likely add to short term weight loss. It’s hard to say if caffeine free green tea helps burn fat as efficiently as caffeinated varieties. Then there is the issue of caffeine dependency and resistance. Just like coffee, eventually the caffeine loses its fat melting capabilities.

I’m not saying not to drink tea. I personally drink a lot of it because I simply enjoy it. I try to stay away from highly caffeinated teas and beverages because caffeine makes me personally feel pretty sick. There is a tea for everything. I do a post about it soon.

Cold Water/cold showers: Okay, let’s talk H2O and ice baths. Water is an extremely important part of life. We hear it every day- drink more water, drink cold water! Stand under a cold shower! Etc. But let’s take a closer look. The act of being cold does cause the body to generate heat which in turn does speed up the metabolism. The human body has a very narrow set of ranges it can survive in known as homeostasis. In order to maintain homeostasis, the body must stay balanced in PH, electrolyte levels, temperature etc. The reason cold water does technically increase metabolism is because the body has to actively burn calories to warm the water up to an acceptable temperature. In cases where you are not consuming the water but instead surrounded by a cold environment, the body induces shivering to mechanically warm itself. Shivering also actively burns calories because the muscles are contracting hard and fast to generate heat. The amount of calories burned by drinking cold water or submerging yourself in ice water is negligible and varies greatly from person to person and therefore is not a great or pleasant way to burn fat. Drinking cold water on an empty stomach can be really painful too, again I know because I’ve tried it. Last thing I want to mention is the danger of ice baths and eating disorders. If you are underweight it can be dangerous to make yourself really cold because your body doesn’t have the energy to keep you warm enough. The result of a core temperature that drops too low is unconsciousness, malfunction of organs and eventually death (that is if you don’t drown in the water after you pass out).

Spicy foods and cayenne pepper: The idea that spicy foods burn excess calories comes from a compound found in peppers and other hot foods called capsaicin. Studies have found capsaicin to burn around 10 additional calories per meal if consumed in high doses. Most people can’t tolerate the amount of spice needed to increase the metabolism by any significant degree, and even if you could, assuming you ate spicy food in appropriate doses at every meal, every day, it would take you about six and a half years to burn one pound of fat (math based on a healthy weight male individual).  My point is this- if you like spicy food, by all means eat it, but if you’re forcing yourself to do cayenne pepper and lemon juice shooters in the morning, stop. It’s really not worth it and can cause more harm than help- no one wants burns in their stomach or down their esophagus.

Superfoods: Be careful what you read and trust as reliable information. “Superfoods” are often packed with nutrients, antioxidants and other beneficial compounds but no one food or drink is going to make you thin….especially not overnight. We all hate to hear this but weight loss comes with consistency, clean foods and exercise. Patience is a virtue we can all learn to appreciate on this journey. The 2015 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends cutting calories by 500 to 700 calories a day to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds (0.5 to 0.7 kilograms) a week. If you can add some physical activity to your day, you'll accomplish your weight-loss goals even faster and keep yourself out of harm’s way.

Myth #4: Eating small meals during the day increases your metabolism.

Unfortunately, there is little scientific evidence that eating small, frequent meals boosts metabolism. Even though eating small snacks instead of large meals isn’t proven to boost the metabolism, spreading your meals out may help you avoid binging. A more constant intake of food can make it easier to stop once you start eating because the body is no longer worried it won’t be feed for hours on ends. Snacks should contain mostly fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Gold fish are tasty but carry no nutritional value. How much you eat is a factor in weight loss but it also matters what you eat.

Myth #5: Getting a full night's sleep is good for your metabolism.

 A good night's sleep will NOT boost your metabolism but neglecting to sleep can trigger weight gain.  The chronically sleep-deprived in general tend to consume more calories than necessary, possibly to deal with feeling tired. Sleep deprivation can cause your body to produce too much insulin, which can lead to increased fat storage. We’ve all been there staring into the fridge at three in the morning trying to fight off the urge to binge because we can’t sleep. Sleeping with an eating disorder can be hard. I am naturally an insomniac and sleep very little, so being a hungry insomniac is even worse! The goal is seven to nine hours of sleep per night but shoot for what you can. Some things I do to help with the sleeping issue:

           -No napping during the day: If I nap, I don’t sleep period.

           -No technology 1-2 hours before bed

          -No food an hour before bed: Eating too close to bedtime leaves me                     feeling bloated and prevents me from sleeping

          - Having clean sheets and a tidy bedroom: I find it easier to sleep in a                    clean environment. I also enjoy sleeping with a weighted blanket

          -The bedroom is only for sleeping and sex. I try really hard not to do other             activities in my room including playing on my phone, watching Netflix,                   reading etc. I want my body and my mind to understand that when I slip               into bed I wish to sleep, not lie awake staring at the ceiling.

         -Daily exercise: like I said, personally I naturally have loads of energy and            have trouble sleeping. I find that when I exercise throughout the day it’s a            bit easier to catch the Z’s at night. This being said I like to meditate and                stretch before bed as well. It’s a nice peaceful way to wind down, calm                any nervous energy and banish any negative thoughts that haunt you in              your slumber.

        -Drinking hot tea: There is no research or Proof behind this one. This is                 only my observation but sipping on hot herbal tea (un-caffeinated!!) helps             me relax and wind down for the night. I like peppermint tea before bed                 because it is gentle and helps settle my stomach.

Summary:

Weight loss is a hard, frustrating journey- especially when you’re on an Anna fast track. Arming yourself with information isn’t going to make your disorder go away or make it easier to cope with but it can help you restrict safer and understand what it is you are doing to your body. If you have questions, comments concerns or topics you’d like me to discuss in further detail let me know! My inbox is always open to anyone.

As always stay safe and know that you are loved

Bell

Sources

https://www.nature.com/articles/ijo2009135

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-truth-about-metabolism

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/weight-loss/in-depth/metabolism/art-20046508

https://www.rush.edu/health-wellness/discover-health/how-metabolism-really-works

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000893.htm

https://muscleevo.net/cold-showers-weight-loss/

[spacetimeconundrum]

Okay! The main one I can remember was Werewolf vs. Vampire. Little known werewolf habits/symptoms. Did Campion being a werewolf affect his relationship with the woman in Dancers in Mourning? I can't remember if you address that, clearly I need to reread. Also I'm just feeling Christmassy and wondered if you've thought about Campion At Christmas. I realized I'm not sure how they celebrated back then.

You’ve given me a lot of different things to think about here, so bear with me while I ramble on for a bit…

In the (stupidly long) time since I’ve updated my werewolf!Campion series, I’ve actually done quite a lot of writing (I know, I know, where’s the proof?) and spent even more time ruminating on various aspects of werewolfiness with respect toCampion’s canon-adventures: what’s changed for him, and what bits of werewolf lore am I keeping for his story. A few of these happen to be VERY plot relevant for Mr. Campion’s War, so I won’tnecessarily go into them in great detail here, but a few tidbits:

- Real wolves are pack animals and large percentage of their communication is physical in nature or scent-based; humans are social creatures that also need a certain amount of touch/physicality in their interactions to thrive; werewolves tend to be much more tactile than youraverage repressed English gentleman of the early 20th century and considerably more invested in how things smell. Albert Campion is no exception, though he has a great deal of upper class socialization telling him that no, he can’t just grab people and / or sniff them, no matter what his instincts are screaming at him.

Before being cursed, Campion dealt with his insecurities / social discomfort via inane chatter - make people laugh and they’ll underestimate him or look for another target. (He spent a lot of time at school being bullied before he learned this trick.) After, he’s not much different, though large crowds tend to make him more anxious and prone to make himself politely invisible. But if you’re one of the few people he considers part of his inner circle, he’s much less physically reserved than before. (This was actually the aspect of Campion’s transformation that Lugg found the strangest. People, least of all Albert bloomin’ Campion, do not tend to hug Magersfontaine Lugg. Not unless one or both of them is dying. It’s weird for both of them, but it gets less so over time.)

- As far asCampion’s inner wolf is concerned, Lugg, Amanda, Oates, Guffy &Mary Randall, Hal Fitton, Val, Uncle Avril and later Charlie Luke and Rupert are part of his pack.

- Alcohol has almost no effect on him. The super high metabolism that allows Campion to heal rapidly and shape shift also means his body tends to process alcohol before he feels any intoxicating effects. Helpful when he’s trying to drink a suspect under the table, less helpful when certain poisons actually effect him faster than they ordinarily would. (Thank goodness for his fast healing.) This makes the events near the end of Death of a Ghost rather more harrowing when he discovers the mad combination of spirits the villain plies him with are having a deleterious effect on him almost too late.

- Speaking of that high metabolism - rationing for WWII actually makes things rather uncomfortable for Mr. Campion, as he can’t exactly explain to anybody with authority that he really needs to be issued enough coupons for two people. He ends up sort of solving this problem by supplementing his diet by shifting on non-full moon nights when he can and going hunting in the countryside as a wolf. It gets a bit tricky though, as every shift is a massive calorie expenditure, meaning he risks creating a net loss for himself if his hunting isn’t successful enough. (Not to mention he’s not always stationed somewhere safe enough to venture out in wolf-form or the risk of being caught ‘poaching’ afterwards.) Campion spends most of the war irritable, hungry, and underweight.

- That said, there are absolutely advantages to being a spy who can shape shift.

- Cats and horses hate Campion now, to the extent that some of his friends (who don’t know why these animals have taken an instant dislike to him) tease him about it. Dogs are either extremely wary of him or instantly his best friend, with very little in between.

- Campion had to falsify paperwork to avoid a government physical. Fortunately, he knows more than a few people in the right professions who owe him a favour or two. He’s avoided eye exams and medical check ups entirely since becoming a werewolf, mostly out of an overabundance of caution. He’s never sick and orders replacement spectacles from a theatre supplier.

- His eyes shine green instead of red in photographs taken with a heavy flash, but this really isn’t a problem until later in his life when colour photography becomes more commonplace.

- His normal body temperature runs hotter than most people’s, which is handy when waking up naked outdoors on a chilly English winter morning, miserable when riding the tube during a sweltering London heat wave.

- Is Campion’s lycanthropy contagious? If say, he were to bite someone, would they then become a werewolf too? Ahahaha. Stay tuned on this one, as it will be addressed in Mr. Campion’s War. Minor spoilers, it is inheritable, as Rupert Campion discovers to his dismay upon reaching puberty.

- Are there other supernatural creatures in Mr. Campion’s world? Other werewolves maybe? Yep. More than you’d think. Not gonna say who just yet. ;)

- His relationship with Linda Sutane (the woman in Dancers in Mourning) is largely unchanged by him being a werewolf, other than his enhanced senses making it much more obvious to him how mutual their attraction was (very). He still didn’t act on it, though he very much wanted to, and they parted as friends in the end. (The scene in Dancers in Mourning where he goes for a long walk through London to try to suppress his feelings for her very nearly ends in him stripping off his clothes and going wolf for a while until he manages to get a hold of himself.) This isn’t directly addressed in any of my stories, but it gets alluded to a little in Mr. Campion’s Secret and Mr. Campion’s Snarl.

- Christmas wasn’t celebrated all that differently then than today I think - dinners with family, presents, etc. The holiday actually only gets a couple brief mentions in the novels - first in The Tiger in the Smoke, which takes place in late November 1950, and then The Mind Readers, which seems to take place in December 1965. The short stories are another matter: The Case is Altered takes place at a Christmas party Campion attends in, presumably, 1938, wherein he has an opportunity to play Santa. The Man With the Sack is set on Christmas Eve, 1936? The Snapdragon and the CID is explicitly set on Christmas day, but various bits of it are so wildly anachronistic to the established timeline, I have no idea what year it’s meant to be; it’s blatant holiday fluff though so who cares. If you haven’t already read them, I highly recommend the short stories. Campion works really well in that format and they’re quick reads.

Merry Christmas!

[kieranjamesreviews-blog]

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review

FYI: I have played nearly 2 full days worth of the game, completed the mains story and 85% complete. I am not a professional review or writer, I am your average gamer, reviewing for the first time.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is Rockstars prequel to the their first highly successful game Red Dead Redemption. This game immerses you into the late 1890s of the wild wild west. However, it is not that wild anymore and people are moving past their more vicious ways and becoming more sophisticated and acceptable but, not for one group of people. The Dutch Van Der Linde gang, a bunch of misfits and outlaws still clinging to the oldways with Dutch their leader preaching and leading them. This game is an extremely enjoyable game, the best I have played in years with great, amazing story and fantastic mechanics that makes you feel like a cowboy. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a masterpiece of a game and in this review I will talk about it, trying to not spoil much as this game is an experience that I recommend you play on your own first.

Story (Plot) Spoiler free

First of I have to talk about the story as this is the main aspect that people are paying for and I have to say it didn't disappoint. The game has 109 missions, 6 chapters and 2 epilogues and with this tells an enjoyable story from the viewpoint of Arthur Morgan a high ranking member in the Dutch Van Der Linde gang, you are a yes man doing dirty work without questions, but that soon changes. You start the game in a bad way, fleeing the law (the Pinkertons) who want you to hang after a heist gone wrong in Blackwater. You and the gang have nothing and are trailing your way through the snowy mountains to find shelter and warmth. Thus starts the main plot of the game, you are all wanted men, who now have no money and need to get away fast, before the law catches up with you. This is really what you are doing for the main story missions, doing certain morally unacceptable activities to get money to “help the camp” so they can flee. However, in doing so you cause unwanted trouble, deaths and general ruckus. Which lead to members of the gang being killed and captured. Losing control of the situation Dutch (the leader of the gang) starts to become reckless and to be honest pretty insane, coming up with plans that will get them in an even worse state then they already are. Your character Arthur Morgan, realises that they don't belong in this world anymore and that Dutch, this once loved father figure is unravelling and that you need to help the remaining gang members to get out. Before Dutch gets everyone killed. This sums up the plot in a quick way, I don't really want to spoil anything to important as this game is an experience. Obviously there is more to it than what I have described.

Characters

Rockstar really had to work hard to create a character that would be loved as much as John Marston which if you didn't know is the protagonist in the first Red Dead Redemption title. The main character would have to live up to the huge shadow of the previous protagonist and oh boy did he. Arthur Morgan is your typical/ stereotypical western cowboy. He has a gruff voice which never got boring, had great jokes, one liners and can hold his own in a battle. But even better than that he develops as a character and person. This game takes him on a journey from a morally iffy yes man, to a man who sees his existence and the gangs existence as unwanted in this new age. A quote he says sums it up perfectly “we’re thieves in a world that don't want us no more” He knows he is a bad person, but decides to change later in the game the best he can and keep the people who deserve a better life safe to live a better life. He is in a constant battle with morality and is full of regret, but by the end of the game is more enlightened and sees the world a lot clearer.

During this game you meet a lot of other great characters from your gang and on the road, which I can't go through all of them. Old faces appear such as John Marston, his family and even uncle. But the character that had the most impact other than Arthur was Dutch Van der Linde. Dutch the leader of these misfits and outlaws starts off as a decent man who seems to just want to help all the people in the gang get to safety. He seems caring, kind and in control. He is a fearless leader who is good with words, which in some way gets the gang to follow him, he seems to know what he is doing. However, he is such a good character because just like Arthur he changes, when things start going south he slowly loses control, his actions and ideas are being questioned. This kind man is now ruthless and reckless, giving no concern for the safety of his fellow gang members. Loyalties are questioned, ties broken between members and Dutch. If you ever think about leaving...well that won't go down too well with big ole Dutch.

Mechanics

Before the game came out Rockstar were really pushing all these mechanics that are in the game, which all added up to create a realistic world. Which I believe they have done pretty well. Lets start of by talking about character mechanics, the big one is of course beard growth, yes your beard does grow and to a pretty considerable length. Think of Gandalfs beard but a little shorter. You have to feed your character otherwise you will start becoming underweight or on the other hand if you eat too much you get fatter, these mechanics do happen, but seem to not change the game massively if you are on either side of the chart. However, food is a necessary thing to help your health gauge fill up. Other than that we have a stamina bar, health bar and dead eye bar which all increases over time by running, fighting and being shot at. A bit like GTA V.

Now we come to world mechanics, so a big thing Rockstar touched on before the games release was that you can go up to anyone and you can greet them, antagonise them etc which could lead to them getting angry and attacking you etc, depending on how far you take it. Yes this does happen, you don't have to use it, it's just there for if you want to, It's a great mechanic honestly as it makes the world feel alive, like these are real people. Another thing that links to npc mechanics is the random events that happen while riding your horse, you could be going down a road and then someone is being robbed. You can help them or leave them. This mechanic ties into the honour system as well, if you left them your honour will go down if it goes all the way down, people will hate you and if your honour is high people will like you more and less bad things will happen. These two mechanic together makes the game seem like 1. the world is thriving with people and 2. that your actions have consequences, be that good or bad. Another great mechanic is that people remember the actions that you do, an example of this is with a mission at the start of the game, where you get into a bar fight and get thrown out of the window. Next time you go to that bar, the barman will say something along the lines of, I hope you don't start any trouble. Just that little thing again makes it seem like a lived in, real world.

Now for some small mechanics, which there are many that go unnoticed such as, bodies decaying. If you kill someone and leave their body it will decay over time, vultures and other animals will come and eat them etc. Which is just a cool little thing. Another little mechanic is your saddle bag and the way you actually take the guns of the side of your horse, like you would in real life. It's the little things that matter. I have missed out other mechanics but If I wrote about them all I would be here for ages. Some of them are, actually being able to pick items you want buy up in a shop, like seriously you see them in your hand or wearing less or more layers of clothes depending on weather conditions.

Horse Mechanics

Horses, horses, horses. What can I say about the horses. The horses in this game move like an actual horse in real life, yes the males have testicles and yes they grow or shrink depending on weather conditions. It's the little things that count. The horse in this game is your pride and joy, you tame the horse, bond with the horse which unlocks new mechanic for the horse, such as drifting. It's stamina goes up over time and so does its health. You have to feed the horse and brush it to increase bonding and the general health of the animal. However, with any animal and living creature in the world, they can die and in this game it's no different. It can die by being shot, tripping over a rock or tree, or just about anything to be honest. Which is sad but creates some funny clips. You can customise your horse, changing saddles, tail shape, size, if it's braided or not. Same with the mane. Also just to make it even sadder when your horse dies you can name it. RIP Mrsflumpylocks. That was my horse BTW it died by hitting a tree. You change all these aspects of the horse by going into a stable, which reminds me exactly of GTA Vs Auto shop. It even does the same cinematic to get into the stable and or shop. Overall the mechanics for the horse are good and is a great improvement from the first game.

Hunting

Hunting is a mechanic you are introduced to pretty much in the first hour of the game. Rockstar said it will be a big part of the game. Which it is to a certain degree. At the beginning of the game you have to hunt for deers to feed the camp. You use your tracking skills to follow the animal, then once you see it use a bow to kill it. You then skin it and then put the meat on the back of your horse to give to the gangs cook Pearson. With the pelt you have you can go and sell it, if it's a high quality pelt i.e you killed it by a head shot or heart shot, the pelt would sell for more. There are also certain animals called Legendary animals which drop legendary pelts which can be used to craft sweet looking outfits for your character, which gives you another goal in the game. Now hunting is all well and good, but I feel it becomes unnecessary to hunt animals for the camp if you have most of the upgrades and keep the camp stocked, as you don't need to kill anything, the camp will survive without you doing any animal killing. So really at end game the only thing hunting is good for is getting cool outfits. Nevertheless, hunting is still pretty fun.

Graphics/Environment

From random encounter with people on the road to animals frolicking around the plains. Red Dead Redemptions environment is a beautiful but ruthless one. It feels lived in with the encounters that happen good or bad and gives a lot to take in and marvel at. Thats probably why you have a camera in your satchel. The graphics are beautiful, with an amazing and careful eye of detail, from your footsteps actually appearing in the snow or mud to your face actually getting dirty over time. On the performance side of things I was playing on a standard Xbox One and it looked great, I had no frame rate drops of any kind and I can only imagine what the game would look like on a an Xbox One X and a 4k TV.

The Bad

Honestly I have to really nitpick to find anything that I would call “bad”. So here they are. I feel like the law is wanted system is really unfair and biased against me. I could go to a town and someone starts a fight with me, but I get a wanted bounty? It doesn't make sense, also the whole witness system and how every time I kill someone there is always a witness that I can't see. It gets very frustrating. My next gripe is that the picking up of items in shops physically is pretty cool, but I feel is useless as it takes so long to buy anything. I hardly ever use the mechanic, unless i’m trying to get cigarette cards for hours on end. The last “con” is that I feel weapon customisation could be better, when I heard about the customisation of weapons I thought it would be better and I know they are old guns which wouldn't have acog scopes and stuff. But I just felt like I wanted more. Again these are tiny things that don't affect my enjoyment of the game massively

End game content

Once you have finished Red Dead Redemption 2, you have a long list of things to do. Which are as followed. Do the collectable missions, there are many collectable missions in Red Dead from dinosaur bones to cigarette cards, which you will need if you want to get 100% on the game. Hunt all the legendary animals, get some outfits. Go fishing, play poker or even go treasure hunting. There is also many a side quest to do, some very weird and some hilarious, I’m talking about that circus quest there. Lastly explore the world, Red Dead Redemption 2 has the biggest and most beautiful map out of all the Rockstar games, full of easter eggs and hidden items. The end game offers a lot to the players to keep their interest and the best thing aswell is that an online will be coming in November.

Rockstar has crafted a wonderful game, which feels realistic, lively and thriving with activity. Which immerses you so much that you do not want put down the controller and you would rather play than take on real world responsibilities. Other than that the game offers an amazing story that of a film and provides you with memorable characters and will make you question your moral compass. I would recommend anyone this game and I rate this title 9/10. Thank you for reading and I hope this helped you.

[snippets-n-excerpts]

Almost a Chapter One: Narutoverse, SI, I-do-what-I-want

“What,” is stated blandly right over me as I lay flat on my back, the sky a brilliant hue this time of the day, fading from a purpled midnight to true morning blue. I take a deep breath, gather the air that was knocked out, and cough once. Much better. At least the grass is thick and soft, if wet.

“Sorry, gramps,” I rasp. “I thought you would move.”

“And I,” comes the amused baritone, “thought you would stop.” I’m suddenly airborne, large hands pulling me up until I can look the white-silver haired man in the eye properly. With my (long, long, <I>long</I>) braid swinging like a pendulum behind me, I know I look like some spoiled princess. “Hime-“ there it is, the assumption, “-what are you doing out so early?”

Since this is a <I>ninja</I>, it only makes sense to <I>not lie</I>. “I’m going to the Market,” which, true. “Because mama asked me to,” and not true.

Let me rephrase: I try not to lie badly.

Still, he seems to be... okay with that answer. “Why don’t I accompany the little Hime?”

I look him over. Smell the sweat, the blood, the foul stench of a stomach and intestine having been cut open—it was only a deer one time when my baby brother had been trying to learn and the smell never left my memory. Remarkably? Deer and men smell just alike when eviscerated. So, I raise a brow. He cannot have forgotten he smelled like a cheap butcher. “How about you go wash up, <I>then</I> come to Market? I’ll be here for some time.”

He snorts after a moment of contemplation, sitting me on my feet and wiping my back off efficiently. “Alright, Hime. I’ll go get cleaned up and meet you at Market.”

I can’t stop my smile. He’s adorable. “Use soap!”

He actually laughs and I feel my little four year old heart flutter. Dammit. I hate how... unaltered and genuinely I like people at this age. It’s confusing. And manic. No wonder most children are little skitzo maniacs who would follow a stranger home. Turning away with a red face, I carefully do not stomp to the center of the village to the massive trades good center called simply Market.

I browse for a moment, frowning at the bits of rotten food that hasn’t been taken out of the haul on the outer stalls. Such terrible manners, these sellers. Still, these ones tend to have better prices for spices.

“Ah, Hime!” The old man two stalls down leans over, waving for me to come closer. “It has been a few days! Are you well?” The old guy with false teeth and enough wrinkles to make a Pug envious is Honda-san. He keeps me in sweets and citrus, having his own grove and living his life doing this more for the human interaction than need of money. His son is getting ready to inherit, his daughter married to a well off merchant in Tea, and from what he says, a small army of great-grandchildren. He’s a sweet guy, really. And literally.

“Yes, Honda-san?” I enquire with a small smile. Tugging my nearly ankle length braid over my shoulder, I look over his counter. I am... large for a four year old. Exceptionally tall, actually, but not as tall as I could be considering who my parents are. Still, I can pass for a tall six or short seven year old. It is disconcerting looking in a mirror. And not because of my size.

“Just the person I was looking for,” he states, avoiding all gender specific pronouns. He knows a lot, even my gender, but he is also kind of crazy and likes to mess with people’s heads. Winking like the mad man he is, he heaves to drag up a massive basket of fruit is haven’t seen since becoming aware of this life. Star fruit. “I know you said something about fruit the shape of a star once! I found an old man-“ ah ha, that’s hilarious coming from him, “-who grows it. He is willing to part with a few cuttings and Hime gets something Hime wants!”

I legitimately squeal, seizing the basket and staggering back when the full weight settles in my arms. I start to trip and fall when strong arms pluck me up. The hand is large, hot, and really familiar. “It’s not even been twenty minutes!” I yelp, kicking my feet. “Put me down, please!”

I’m set gently to my feet and that same large hand comes down on my head like I’m his kid. I look up and snort. His hair is still wet and dripping into his face, the profile achingly familiar and yet different. He’s legitimately beautiful, the kind that grabs at your lungs and holds tight for the first moment every time you look at them. This is also the first time I’ve even seen him properly in this life and I already miss his son who hasn’t even been born yet.

Why hasn’t he had a kid yet? He’s obviously old enough. “Are you married?”

There’s another startled laughed, the man looking down at me even as he takes the heavy basket from my hands. He doesn’t even shift with what has to be nearly thirty pounds of exotic fruit. That asshole. “Maa maa, Hime. That is a personal question.”

Okay, yes. And, honestly? I get it. We live in an almost modernized war-state, the threat of assassination to spouses and family and friends a high stakes game that nobody wanted to trust or loose to. So, no personal questions. After all, the villages were just formed and, hey, why not celebrate with a massive <I>war</I>?

Frowning mullishly at my thoughts, I grab the left hand of the tall man. Shinobi. “Come on, old man, I have a lot of shopping to do before breakfast.”

“Well,” begins the man as I lead him from stall to stall, watching me sweet talk and haggle prices. I am not good at it. At all. But I’m a baby-faced child and the shopkeeps are fond of me with my often return business so the prices are usually fair and even a few take pity to give me better prices or more produce. “I would say your mother should be doing this...” I glance at him as I finish at the tomato cart, daintily tucking green tomatoes into the star fruit basket along with all my other purchases. He seems to mull something over before waiting until I tug him into a small alley, looking up expectantly. As the short alley is a nice spot to rest out of the crowd, we garner no attention. “But she isn’t in the village is she?”

Drat and damnation. Of course he could parse that. I sigh, his eyes taking their time to look me over. He might be seeing a resemblance which, okay, I can handle, but why is he so suddenly invested in me? Hello? Kid who ran into you this morning? For the first time?

“And you don’t... seem to live with a father...?”

I snort. “If the man even knows I exist, I will make you breakfast for a month,” I bargain recklessly. “I’m a battlefield baby. I was conceived and born in bloodshed, old man. And, once mother was well enough to go back, she went.”

He shifts back, something like surprise flickering over his face. “Then. Who <I>are</I> you living with? Your father’s family? Your mother’s?”

I could say “personal”, but this is one of the mainstay people of my every wish (and nightmare) brought to life before me. I am fond of the idiot. Which, an idiot, really. Who talks about shopping with an unknown child covered in stale viscera?

“Both,” I not-lie because I do. Technically.

The look he gives me is pretty intense. I’m not lying, but I’m not saying the whole truth. How can he tell?! Does he smell it on me? Hand on my hip, I pout at him. “What?”

He crouches, settling the basket on the ground and setting his hands on my shoulders. “Hime-chan, please,” he says firmly, softly, as if I’m one of his teammates, someone important to him as he slips a familiar honorific in there, “tell me the truth.”

I take a slow breath, looking at this man that I know and do not and sigh it out. Patting his arm, I grab my basket and start to drag it out with me. His hands don’t leave me—in fact, he hauls me close to him and stalls me in a hold even experienced shinobi would have trouble getting out of. I groan, stomping me foot. “Dammit, old man!”

He sighs in return, pressing his face to my neck even as I stiffen for a moment. When he breathes deep, his chest expands like a barrel against my shoulders. “Okay,” he begins, voice a little rough. “Okay. I have a proposition for you, Hime-chan.”

I wiggle a little, biting at the hand in reach. “No,” I hiss like an angry cat. “I don’t want to! Because you will find out and they will have expectations I <I>cannot</I> live up to!”

“Is that any damned reason to be damn near malnourished?!” he growled back, my frame too thin for bones underneath. I kick back futilely before sagging. Fine. Whatever.

“What do you want from me, old man?” I huff, sagging like a sack of angled sticks in his arms. He has picked me up twice already, so of course he would notice.

He sighs, plopping down on the ground and probably in something disgusting because, hello, people are filthy animals, then tugs me into his lap. “I want you to stop lying and tell me why you are severely underweight for an Akimichi.”

I let my head thunk on his shoulder. Fuck. Fine. “I’m not a full Akimichi, old man. And, honestly, they don’t seem to want a halfbreed.” Which, ahem, about eighty percent true. The hand close to my face releases its hold to tap my nose. He legitimately growls when I stay quiet for several beats. I roll my eyes. “No. I told you well enough, now let go so I can buy a shit tone of food that won’t feed me properly.”

He stands, tucks me under his arm, and then the basket under the other. Shit. He’s going to take me to the Akimichi clan head. Fuck. No, no, no, no! That will end well for exactly no one. So I struggle. Hard and sharp, and finally sigh with the knowledge that I’m going to have to do something stupid. Maybe bite the hand that carries me. Or slide out of my clothes or, ah, bribe.

What the hell does a four year old have to bribe an adult?

“Put me down, put me down, putmedown!” I snarl quietly, not wanting to bring the whole of the street down on us. Yet. “Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’tdoit!”

Shit. Fuck. Dammit. Hell.

I flop over his arm, resigned because I can’t even wiggle enough to twist, much less loosen my layers. I can’t reach anything to bite. I don’t want the word getting back about me at all. So.

“I’ll bribe you. Let me bribe you,” I beg, voice low.

The man stops for a moment, turning his head down to look at me. That is real mirth in his eyes and I like it, but not nearly enough to put up with a clan head that does not want me. “What does a brat like you have to offer me, Hime?”

Ah. Back to that. Suffix removed. “Well, I can cook. Or bake. Or steam. Or fry. I make dog friendly treats? I would like to see the other side of ten?”

He seems mildly uncomfortable with my dispirited tone, as if he’s squirming on the inside. It does not, in any way, stop him from strutting his way to the Akimichi clan holdings and right up to the clan head’s house. The Head himself is out killing people for his military dictatorship, so it is his wife that is in charge. I try very hard to avoid her.

She does not, in any way, like me.

“Maa, Akimichi-sama,” Sakumo murmurs, putting my purchases down on the porch before stepping closer to the round faced woman. “I found one of yours.”

He presents me like a puppy, swinging me up and around, hands under my arms and held out. The woman sneers as if something gross has been presented. Yeah well, I think, you’re a different kind of bitch, lady. I curl a little into myself, eyes firmly on the tatami mats and wood grain. I do not try and make eye contact with my (distant) cousins because I know I will be ignored. I am not wanted here.

I eventually lowered, tucked into his chest with one arm as his disarming smile becomes a bit more forced. “Maaa, Akimichi-hime, the little one here seems to not be getting the right food. I know the kid shops by-“

He didn’t get further as the wife of the clan head started. “That thing is not an Akimichi. Not really.” This is stated calmly, voice soft and firm and irrefutable. “What do I care? Keep it. Feed it if you must. Drown it, maybe, to save us all the extra work.”

[ehyeh-joshua]

On disability.

As some of you guys know, my background is racing. And it shapes how I approach everything, to some extent.

And disability? Well, racing gets kind of difficult - I can do videogame racing for example, but people like me are banned from competition in the real world. (on safety grounds, with good reason; I’m not arguing with that)

But, a disability does not mean you cannot compete with able bodied people, and beat them at their own sports.

For example, let’s take a person born without legs, and get them to race.

That sounds like a career ended before it could even start - but the reality is, if you could find the one disabled, legless person with the raw talent of men like Fangio, Stewart (himself the only dyslexic world champion) Clark, Senna, Schumacher, Alonso, Hamilton, all of them, and you built a car around their advantages, no able-bodied racer could beat them in a straight, clear race.

Two legs weighs, even at hyper-light F1 driver standards, around 20 kilograms. That alone is worth, speaking generally, a second a lap plus.

Next, where that weight is removed from - in an F1 car, you sit on the floor of the car, and your legs are raised up (this allows you to do stuff with the aero packaging that improves the performance massively) with them not even being present, it means you can revise your crash structures to make them lighter (as you have so much more space you can compress before driver safety is compromised) you can do more with the behind front wheel aero packaging (this is super-important - modern F1 cars sculpt the air itself to create a boundary between the bottom of the car and the sides, creating ground effect aero like the old F1 cars needed skirts and underfloor tunnels and stuff to do) you have the option of placing the ballast (or, in some cars, having ballast at all, as it is very hard to design an underweight car these days) exactly where you want it to get the handling right, and, when you adjust their controls to be finger based, they have more control as fingers are more sensitive (they don’t do this because you’d have to recalibrate how people drive, and that doesn’t work well; it’s the same with hub centre steering in motorcycles, the riders all grow up with telescopic forks and can’t swap to the superior engineering solution because of the lack of feel hub centre steering misses, but, raise a rider from childhood to ride hub centre steered bikes so that that problem is eliminated, and telescopic forks will never win again as they are an inferior design) and because the distance is shorter, their reaction times are quicker (the gap is tiny, but it is still amounting to a second or so over race distance, and in what is a quicker car anyway)

It is exactly the same process - every top driver has the team and car built around them.

It has never happened in history - while people without legs have raced, the ones who did it well were already racers, and through crashes lost their legs, and while they can still be competitive, see Alex Zanardi, one of my heroes (along with Jackie Stewart) they never quite recover it fully. Similar with Kubica - I would love to see Kubica back in F1; not with Williams, as well, their car design of late has gone backwards. But, really, he isn’t the same after his rallying crash.

And personally, I’d love to see it done...

That’s what I believe in, when it comes to “disability”. I hate the notion of “yeah, he/she is a great driver, for someone with no legs” - all that really means is you do not see them as a competitor. What use is that? It is frankly an insult.

It is like the running prosthetic legs - objectively, as a solution to the problem of running quick on track, the prosthetic leg is quicker than a normal leg. It’ll be even better once someone combines them with active suspension style improvements. (most of the debate has been because athletes with these have been having to prove they aren’t advantages, which speaks volumes about my whole point anyway - presuming that we’ll be nice, and therefore assume this is not discrimination on basis of disability as that is highly illegal these days, and it would be one of the easiest court cases going...)

As an engineer by training, disabled by His design, I would be thrilled to see someone build a team around the right disabled person, and going racing to be fastest of anyone - because I know once it happens, the advantages their “disability” gives them are such that they’d be dominant the way Schumacher was.

Am I disabled? Objectively, yes. Does it cause me problems? Yes. Is this the case for everybody? Yes; if nothing else, not everyone has the mindset of the sheer will to win that a racer must develop, which forces you to look at the advantages you have and then make it work.

Most people would rather dump a few bandaids and think “there, we’ve supported the disabled now”. No! It might objectively help, but the whole attitude is that disabled people are not fully human.

My entire philosophy as a racer, driver and engineer, is I will race as best I can; yes, my disabilities mean I won’t win, on either (I’m great at understanding the rulebook; the problem is that in motorsport, you design to what the rulebook doesn’t say rather than what is does, and therefore, in a competition with rules beyond “the driver must be able to survive whatever crash could be reasonably forseen” which is where I’m most comfortable given I design for myself now, I’ll lose) but, most importantly, the gauntlet is thrown down - come and have a go if you think you’re fast enough.

Take Stefan Bellof’s lap. Those of you who know, need no further comment to know what I think - if you don’t respect Bellof enough to treat him as competition, then you render his record worthless. Yes, a modern GT racing car could probably beat his laptime, but that’s not the point; Bellof’s time has been put on a pedestal, that you aren’t allowed to improve on. And I think it is sad; he went out, and he pushed his 956 to the utter limit. Really, as a racer, he deserves someone trying to beat him, and also the chance to reclaim it, even if circumstances mean that cannot happen. (he was killed at Spa in 1985, during an overtake that went very badly wrong at Eau Rouge)

Ok, I’m rambling again, so back to the point - disabled people deserve to be treated as fully human. Not as inferiors. And this notion, that having a disability makes anyone any less than human, needs to go back to the hell from which it came.

[velerodra-valesinger]

Long Division

Vel’s body was still weak, and recovering slowly.   It was the type of recovery that took time.  Even more time due to the energy she’d been expending to maintain her bond with Mira.   The druidess was physically well, but her psyche was shattered.   Mira had become dependent on Vel’s presence.   An unforeseen complication.  

Vel didn’t know much about Mira, she had tried to peer into the woman’s memories - but refused to delve if she sensed resistance, not wanting to inflict more damage to an already broken mind.   At times, she had to, find a safe place for Mira to lurk, preferably outdoors and away from any commotion.   Then she could focus her energies on her own body.   Unless the feral cat found some cause for terror (which did not take much), at which point Vel's focus would shift towards her again.   She longed to find a nice field for her to roam peacefully in.   Perhaps that would keep her calmer while the monk was unable to play an active role in Mira’s existence.  

Despite the amount of energy spent towards maintaining Mira, she had managed to improve her own condition as well.   She had altered her dietary habits, ensuring proper nutrition.   She needed to gain some weight back.   As it stood, she was underweight.   Her muscles had also wasted away, along with her range of motion.   She was out of shape.   In every way.   But she was beginning to rehabilitate.   And for the most part she was resisting the urge to push herself.  

Pandaria was a nice backdrop for this.   It reminded her of when she first became a monk.   And living in a house inherited from her Master, made it feel as if the late Pandaren was still with her.   Still teaching her.

Some days were slower than others.   She tended to the house, which was modest in size, but had been in desperate need of dusting and organizing.   And then reorganizing.  

More daunting were the grounds outside of the house, which were sprawling.   Her Master kept livestock, his tigers, a cloud serpent, cranes, turtles and a pond for koi.    There was enough land for his creatures to roam.   But it had become an overgrown mess.    Little gardens had become riddled with weeds.   Some trees had grown far too large.   She had hired a few Pandaren farmers to assist her with the land.   She tended to the smaller gardens herself.   It was light work.   And she enjoyed the fresh air.  

A month had passed since her return, and she’d managed to arrange her home back to what it once was.   She still leaned heavily on a staff to walk, but her muscles ached less.   And she was able to start stretching her limbs lightly.  

Running was out of the question.   Even push ups and sit ups were still out of question.  

Her emotional outbursts had declined in frequency.  She felt a general sense of peace.   She did not get to visit the city often, but she enjoyed the few times she had managed to take her walks there.  

Nightmares still interrupted her sleep, but she was learning to deal with them.   For once, Vel let all of her influences fade away, and she focused on herself.   She focused on her recovery.   She ignored what she had been through.   She ignored the parts of her that felt defeated, and lost.   The parts of her that wanted nothing more than to lash out at the world recklessly.   The parts of her that viewed herself as a remnant left on Azeroth by the Legion.  

She’d ignored all the bitterness.  

She was more and more finding herself at peace.   She was more and more the Vel her Master had forged - controlled, disciplined, calm, and (mostly) patient.   Less and less did she feel as if she was the Vel her mother had reforged - insecure, unpredictable, manipulative, possessive, clever and always teetering on the precipice of madness.      

She should have known better. To ignore part of herself.

The chill of Northrend pricked at the monkette’s pale skin.   She stared into familiar azure eyes atop a spire in En’kilah.   The part of herself she had ignored, grew tired of being ignored.  None of the feeling she ignored were resolved, they were just left to fester.   And when the parts of herself she’d pretended did not exist could no longer could remain part of the whole, they turned to the creature she thought might be able to comfort her.   To relate to her.  

A trip to Northrend in her condition was foolish.   Near suicidal.   Yet, she’d made the trip.   Slowing the recovery of the other parts of herself that had been doing so well.   She leeched energy away from the monk that had refused to acknowledge the darkness inside herself.   And her darkness took its own shape.   She was divided.   Literally and figuratively.  

She knelt before the one she had come for and she was greeted with warmth atop the frigid spire.

Aria was an observant creature. She watched, in stone like patience. Her mind was a far busier place. Not a movement or sound from her as the Monk knelt, only watching with a keen awareness. The wind howled, and whipped around them, blasting worn stone and causing ice and snow to gather in corners. After a few moments ticked by, dark lips parted. Her echoed voice was, as always, delicately soft. Somehow still rising above, or simply becoming part of the under current of consistent wind. "It is a great tragedy." She began gently. "To see the haunted so lost. You are welcome in this place, my Wraith. I have learned much in my time, the chief among them, not everyone with a beating heart, is alive."

Vel almost let out a chuckle as she forced herself to her feet. She grasped for the clunky wooden staff at her back and shifted her weight onto it.    Well, what weight there was to lean, she was a fraction of herself.    "At least I am a great something, yea? Even if it's a tragedy."    she shook her head, "I'm not being literal..." she noted, anticipating her humor to be lost in the howling winds.    

From the top of the spire Vel was taken out of the cold and into the necropolis of Naxxarar.   Words were exchanged.   Vel could entrust Aria with her story, and she did.  Within those walls, Death had been kind to her.  Helpful.   Understanding.   Instructive.   Supportive.   All in such a short span of time.    

Then, Aria drew her close and tempted her.   She offered to remake her.  

And in those moments, Vel was neither her mother’s creation nor her Master’s student.   She was the remainder of yet another internal division.   Something that was uncertain, but something that found comfort so close to Death.  Parts of her that had long been quiet were starting to push aside the less certain.    

It all came down to a simple question.    

"Do you wish to be more?"

Vel nodded,  "I must be."   she paused, careful to add, "Not...  right now...   but - I think...   soon."

Aria blinked, looking down at Vel. "Why... would you wish to postpone, being more? What logic is there in this pain you feel? In recounting how others betrayed or harmed you?"   Her head shook a bit, as if refusing any answer that may come preemptively.

Though Vel had answers to those questions, thoughts - many of them, clarifications and justifications - none escaped her lips.    

Aria's hand rose, starting at Vel's hip, to slide up leather carefully. Rounding to the Monk's stomach and to drag her cool touch up and over her chest and soon, seeking a light grip of the other's neck. "I could remake you." Her soft voice, a gentle and low whisper, dark lips brushing gently against the lobe of Vel's ear as her voice seemed to layer a couple more time, growing both more sinister and at the same time, remaining calm. "You would be you, but reborn, unscarred, untarnish, strong, capable, belonging to not only to but with me. With all of Death, with every Monster and every forgotten creature."   She wasn't trying to hold Vel around the throat but kept her palm over her chest, and fingers curled to follow the slender neck. Her own armored form moving slightly to press to Vel's side. "There is nothing to be afraid of and everything to gain... I wish for your consent but it is not required."

It was at that point, Vel began to accept that she would not leave Naxxanar unchanged.    Uncertainty plagued her.   Aria likely could hear the reservation in her voice.   How much that mattered to the Knight, was hard to say.

"I intend for you to remake me...   I will not resist. I will stay here - with you. Just let me get used to the notion of being - reborn. I was reborn once. I was told I was part of something. That route - didn't go so well. This, may be different... but let me wrap my mind around it. I am not going anywhere."    

Aria shook her head slightly  "You were lied to and molded by corruptors, by beasts... you believed what you were told as many have and all have found their gods to be false. That was no a rebirth it was an execution." The frost fire in her eyes flicking to life in orbs as she stared back at Vel intensely. "You will stay."   The words very firm and laced with meaning. 

Both hands found the Monk's hips, seeking to grip at the slight curve tightly. She neared, ever closer, until petite nose tips brushed and lips were a whisper from doing the same.  However, instead of a cool press, a deep amethyst smoke abruptly bubbled up and poured out from between the Necromancer's lips and it's direction was very specifically, aimed within Vel's mouth.  

It was only a blink of time, over as it began but visceral and physically jarring. Aria knew it was going to happen so she had that benefit and the wherewithal to speak, a slight rasp to echoed words. "... a gift."

While one side of her struggled to pluck weeds from her gardens, another side of her awoke in an oversized piece of furniture, and felt a dizzying swell of power surging through her body.  

Though, she was pleased to be able to be comfortable, she could not help but wonder why she was still alive.  

The threads that wove together to form the tapestry known as ‘Vel’ shifted, weaving and unweaving from one another, bouncing between two distinct locations.   The demonic influences on her soul, did not warn the rest of the monk, about what the other parts of her were doing.   Where she was, and Vel was too weak, in this form, to realize that she was divided at all.   Especially given the focus she’d been allocating to Mira.  

In Northrend, the blonde simply waited.   She had said she would not leave.   She did not intend to leave until she was more.

Of course, she was now guilty of the same sin as her distant counterpart had been.

She should have known better. To ignore part of herself.

Her mother’s daughter, the demonic essences that had twisted her soul had left part of Vel to embrace her end.   It would be useful, they reasoned.  Kill off part of her, and it would be easier to regain control of the other.    Whatever Aria managed to create, would be - in some manner - connected to the living monk.   Though, it was hard to predict how it would all play out.    The demonic influences still craved the Ascension she’d been assured she would attain by the woman she once called her mother.   The whispering of the serpentine threads, were ignored by the recovering monk.

It was cyclical, she suppressed contradictions in her personality, to a point where they reached such extremes, the only resolution was some sort of division.  

However this was different.  Normally the threads all returned to one being, perhaps arranged differently, but always - one body.   Should Death claim her in Northrend, it would surely have an affect on her in Pandaria.   And possibly even on Mira by extension.  

And Vel, had no idea it was coming.  

If only she listened to the parts of herself she preferred to pretend didn’t exist.   She’d have heard them plotting.   They wanted this.  

Unlike previous divisions, this one - would be permanent.  

@thefrozenheart, @anorasmira (this is myself  - i dunno why I’m tagging)

[entirebodyexercise]

Ideal Body Weight: Is There Such a Thing?

One of the most typical inquiries I am asked when I rest down with a customer to develop a plan is, 'Exactly what should I evaluate?'

That is easy to understand amidst the sea of viewpoints and cultural stress. It's so tough to know just what weight to go for as well as still preserve a healthy body photo. We obtain so concentrated on the number on a scale that we could forget just what really matters at the end of the day-being healthy and balanced and able to lead a full life.

That number we so commonly fear on the range is just a part of the bigger picture. An excellent and healthy weight is extremely individual and also should be treated as such.

The Body Mass Index

One of the most simple (but by no means best) means of taking a look at ideal weight is BMI, which is based only on height as well as weight. As a formula it appears like this:

You can take the result of this formula and also location it right into among four categories: Underweight (BMI 30). You can additionally use a graph like the one below:

BMI is extremely straightforward as well as easy for the private to determine in the convenience and also simplicity of their residence, which is why it is so popular. Being simple as well as well-adopted, nevertheless, does not make it the very best or most helpful way to consider the principle of perfect weight.

The Problem with BMI

While it offers you a rough idea of exactly how you get on and just what you must go for, there is one area where BMI drops terribly short: it cannot take body composition right into account.

What this implies is that you can have extremely muscle individuals (think football players) that, although they have a completely healthy composition, wind up in the 'overweight' category. You could likewise locate people that have a 'typical' BMI, but their composition is less muscle than is healthy, which alone can lead to cardio health problems.

There are a great deal of various shapes and sizes of bodies available, fitting into a statistical design does not always work. Do not obtain me incorrect, BMI is a good design to utilize in a whole lot of instances, but if you are looking to set certain objectives that are special to you and also your body, there is a much better approach available.

Determine Fat by Measuring It

I've meant it currently. When checking out an 'ideal weight' for somebody, what we're truly discussing is body composition. It is easy to speak about just weight, as it usually relocates step with make-up, but sometimes it does not. Such is the situation with the skinny-fat person, who could look totally slim however are a little softer on the edges as opposed to being lean and muscle underneath the clothes. Their weight excels, but their body fat is in fact a little high. You need to take make-up into account, especially in endurance professional athletes where catabolic hormones can obtain out of control sometimes as well as create even more fat storage.

So we turn our eyes far from the range and over to body structure as the starting point. That indicates, for the majority of people, having a skin-fold analysis done, or making use of a bioelectrical insusceptibility (BEI) device to measure their structure (less exact, more finicky). For those with the methods as well as the access, there are several various other approaches offered that are much more precise, but we'll skip over that for now.

The objective of using make-up as an overview exists in discovering 2 things: lean mass and portion of body fat.

As an instance, let's state we evaluate a common male, as well as he is available in at 200lb as well as we calculate his body structure as well as his body fat percent is available in at 30%. That suggests our two numbers are as follows:

His lean mass is 140lb. This would certainly be considered all non-fat cells in the body (muscle mass, organs, and so on).

His body fat represent 60lb of that weight.

Unless he sheds some muscular tissue, this individual just isn't really going to obtain under 140lb because that would certainly be essentially absolutely no percent body fat. In fact, he will probably include a pair extra pounds of lean muscular tissue along the path relying on just how he manages his fat burning method. That being said, we have the most important component of our estimation determined: lean mass. This is the outright starting factor and the basis for making excellent weight a lot extra straightforward to the individual.

Discovering Your Perfect Weight: The Formula

You can discover your ideal weight by identifying your lean mass, after that pick a body fat percent or variety of percents that you 'd such as to be at within the above standards. As soon as you have your variety in mind, it is as straightforward as using the complying with formula to reject an objective weight:

Lean body mass (pounds) x (1 + target body fat percent, as a decimal) = ideal weight

In the case of our 200lb individual, allow's claim he desires to be between 12-17% body fat (BF). His circumstance would resemble this:

140 pounds X 1.12 = 156.8 lbs or 140 pounds X 1.17 = 163.8 lbs

So, complying with the formula, his target 'perfect' weight would certainly be 156.8-163.8 extra pounds.

But how do you determine what percent( s) to make use of for this formula? This is where it obtains enjoyable. At this factor, the concept of a suitable weight typically takes different courses depending upon your distinct perspective. The daily person just trying to obtain healthy and balanced as well as look much better will have an extremely different collection of objectives, at the very least originally, compared to a person a lot more sports aiming to push the envelope on performance. Ultimately, it is individual preference.

What Composition Should I Goal to Achieve?

The very first action in developing your one-of-a-kind target weight or weight range is to honestly ask on your own a number of questions:

Just what is most essential to me? Health? Efficiency? Eating what I desire when I want?

Exactly how do I wish to look and feel?

Do I like my existing amount of muscular tissue mass? Do I have excessive or inadequate for my certain goals? Worded an additional way: Am I strong sufficient? Do I have additional muscle mass that does not assist with my goals?

Do I want to put in the effort and be extremely disciplined to hit actually low body composition numbers?

Once you have spent some time with those questions as well as have some suggestion of what is important to you, you can make use of a number of resources to start preparing your details optimal weight formula. One great, simple source is ACE's body composition guidelines.

[Chart courtesy of ACE]

The information ACE offers is simple as well as simple. It likewise takes out the group of 'necessary fat' which is the bare minimum had to maintain health-a terrific point to bear in mind. There are few individuals that must be aiming for that degree of leanness. For many people seeming healthy and balanced as well as feel excellent, the 'health and fitness' group is a terrific location to aim.

One point the ACE chart does not account for, though, is the changes in our bodies as we age. Our appropriate body fat ranges have a tendency to raise a little with age. Why is this, you ask? There are three sorts of fat on the human body. While the subcutaneous (under the skin, just what we determine with skin folds) could remain the same, the visceral (around the organs, unmeasured), and also intramuscular fats (between muscular tissue, like a marbled steak, unmeasured) have the tendency to raise as we age, changing the overall body density and contributing to the portion body fat.

To take aging into account, I 'd advise making use of either resources. Remember that in the initial, it is still an analytical model, just like BMI, so some older, sports individuals, might not fit the presumptions as their body thickness could be underestimated.

The initially source I would certainly advise is from the American University of Sports Medicine's Guidelines for Workout Screening as well as Prescription (8th Ed.). This source damages the numbers down right into percentiles as well as varieties (really lean, exceptional, good, reasonable, bad, very bad). You could see that stood for in the graphes below.

[Chart gotten from the American University of Sports Medicine]

The last source worth mentioning is something far more intuitive: picture charts. These are options of body pictures that are associated to certain body compositions. You can utilize these to obtain a far better suggestion of exactly what your body will certainly resemble at various degrees of body fat. BuiltLean.com has excellent picture charts available for both males and females in addition to in-depth explanations. I extremely advise examining it out if you are a more visual person.

A Note for the Athletes

With different sports and levels of competitors come various needs as well as physique that succeed. This is why you see competitive runners and also bikers that are so stinkin' skinny. Gravity punishes any type of added weight that they bring. A football gamer, on the various other hand, needs even more mass to survive the regular whipping positioned on the body. Various bodies for different needs. This is an entire topic in as well as of itself.

Putting It All Together

You have all the items of the problem. You discovered your suitable weight or weight variety. Currently just what? You have to function on getting there! It would certainly behave to believe that we simply lose fat when we reduce weight, or that we just acquire muscle mass when we include mass. The fact is that both lean as well as fat mass are altering with each other, making the entire process extra challenging. That's why measuring routinely is so important.

Measuring on a routine basis (both weight on the range as well as portion body fat) guarantees you are fulfilling both your fat and lean mass goals. You do not wish to be in that circumstance where you wish to slim down from fat while maintaining your lean muscular tissue as well as discover out you are shedding both.

It is likewise tough to be in the placement where you are attempting to slim down, yet are adding muscular tissue mass at the same time, causing a scale that reviews greater than anticipated regardless of feeling and look much better. That could really play with your head. That's why we measure. Purpose information excels, as well as what obtains measured has a tendency to obtain managed, which brings about better and also quicker results.

All this being said, ideal weight is sort of up to you, and also will rely on your personal goals. There is no magic number or perfect physique. You require to pick the healthy and balanced path, just what is finest for you, and pursue it complete bore. Do not let preferred point of view tell you what is ideal for you.

[northshorehealthandfitness]

The Beginner’s Guide to Body Types: Ectomorph, Mesomorph, and Endomorph

We are all unique.  

Yes, even you. Your mom was right!

And you’re here because questions about your body type and genetics:

What body type am I?

How does it affect my training and diet?

I have bad genetics, how screwed am I?

I am a [body type]. Does that mean I shouldn’t do [activity]?

We all have different bodies, genetics,reactions from certain foods, strengths, and weaknesses, and thus we each have different activities and behaviors that we’re predisposed to be good at (or struggle with!).

The standard way of thinking tells us that we have three main “body types”:

Endomorph

Ectomorph

Mesomorph

(Don’t worry we’ll get into each of those below too.)

HOWEVER, when it comes to your genetic benefits and shortfalls, there is way more to it than just which category your body fits in.

As you’ll soon learn, just because you’re predisposed to be good at one thing or terrible at another doesn’t mean you should be pigeonholed or limited with what you can do.

With a bit of help from our favorite Role Playing Games, we’re going to dig into body types, character classes, and ways to buck the genetic lottery.

Whether or not you know your body type, or you have never heard those terms above before, I got you covered!

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

The three main body types

Back in the 1940’s, an American psychologist named William Herbert Sheldon tried to classify us non-superheroes into three neat categories called “soma types”:

Endomorphs

Ectomorphs

Mesomorphs

Over the years, these three body types have become widely accepted as three solid classifications for how our bodies will generally react and grow based on our training and diet.

We’re going to ignore the parts about Sheldon trying to equate people’s body types to wildly generalized psychological traits, or the fact that he obtained the photos for his study under shady circumstances.

The 3 body types that Sheldon created managed to endure and have found a place in fitness, so that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Sure, there is this complicated math formula that you can use to calculate your “soma type,” but we’re going to skip the formula and go right into the stuff you actually need to know. [1] .

These are the three types and how they’re characterized. I bet you’ll find you fit into one of them:

Ectomorph (thin)

Ectomorphs are characterized as having long, slim, and thin muscles/limbs and low fat storage. Ectomorphs are not predisposed to store fat nor build muscle.

These are the “hardgainers” that can’t gain weight even when they “eat so much.”

I am an ectomorph, and fought my genetics for 10 years – I also used this “diagnosis” as a crutch before finally overcoming it – I’ll talk more about this at the end of the article.

Mesomorph (muscular)

Mesomorphs are the “lucky ones.” They have medium bones, solid torso, low fat levels, wide shoulders with a narrow waist.

Mesomorphs are predisposed to build muscle but not store fat. Aka “lucky AF.”

You might know somebody that can just look at a weight and seem to get bigger and stronger: that person is a mesomorph.

Endomorph (curvy)

Endomorphs play the game of Weight Loss on extreme difficulty. These are people with wider waists, large bone structures, and are predisposed to storing fat instead of building muscle.

If you struggle to lose weight, or you put on fat easily, you MIGHT be an endomorph.

Again, I’ll explain why the diagnosis isn’t as important as how you respond to it!

IMPORTANT NOTE: These body types are not to be confused with the fourth classification: Animorphs, who possess the ability to change into any animal they touch.

Animorphs are necessary for the defense of Earth against the secret alien invasion.

Which BODY TYPE am I?

Although the three categories give us a decent foundation on which to build, there are a litany of other factors that are at play here.

For starters, instead of us fitting neatly into three categories, it’s more like a massive 1-1000 scale.

Imagine there is a triangle with each point representing one of the three body types.

We humans can exist at any point inside that triangle, from storing fat easily to not gaining weight easily to building muscle well. The reality is that we all have some parts of each of those.

What it really comes down to:

Some bodies are efficient at burning energy for fuel.

Some bodies are less efficient and tend to store more energy as fat.

Some bodies are really efficient at building muscle.

Some bodies are inefficient at building muscle.

Despite our genetics, our lifestyle choices, the foods we eat, and how we train will ultimately determine our body shape!

Where the problem with “soma types” begin: It’s very easy to use one’s classification as a crutch for being unhealthy or weak. 

Let’s use a different example: have you ever taken a personality profile for work (“I’m an INFP! You’re an ENTJ!”), and then used that as an excuse: “Sorry, the test said I’m an introvert, it’s not that I’m an ass. Deal with it!”

Just like with personality tests, our Soma Type should be a starting point for us to put a plan in place.

We are not going to use our genetics as a crutch anymore. I did it for a decade until I finally allowed myself to create a different identity!

“I’m an endomorph, so I’m screwed and that’s why I’m overweight.”

“How lucky is he? He can eat whatever he wants and not gain weight!”

“That dude just looks at weights and gets bigger. Must be nice.”

Here’s the truth: We have all rolled a random character in this Game of Life. We don’t get to pick our parents, we just have to play the hand we’re dealt to the best of our ability:

Some people hit the genetic lottery and get to play Life on Easy difficulty.

Some people have really crappy genetics and have to play on Legendary difficulty.

Your genetic makeup isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility.

And this whole concept of dramatically different metabolisms due to soma types is overblown, which is GREAT NEWS:

Studies have shown that most people tend to fall within 200-300 calories of each other on the “metabolism speed scale.” [2] .

Your genetics can only help or hinder you so much – it’s the decisions you make after your character has been rolled that determines how quickly you progress through the game.

What this means: 

If you are really overweight, you don’t have as slow of a metabolism as you think. In fact, your metabolism is FASTER than somebody who is thinner than you (your body burns more calories to fuel your extra mass). What it really means is that you probably eat too much compared to how many calories you burn.

If you are really underweight (as I was), you don’t have as fast a metabolism as you think. Although you think you eat “so much,” I bet if we tracked it, it’s significantly less than you are estimating.

I’ll address each body type below with specific instructions on how to react!

This is great news, but it means you’re going to need to work for it!

Now, in addition to body types, we also get a lot of questions about muscle fibers and how they affect your physical fitness…

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Twitch Muscle Fibers: Fast and Slow

To further emphasize that we are all unique snowflakes, our muscles have different types of qualities as well.

Based on your genetic makeup of what percentage of each type of muscle fiber you have, you might have a higher athletic ceiling when it comes to certain activities.

Again, this is just a starting point; I’ll get to how we can change our fate later.

Our muscle fibers can generally be classified as fast-twitch or slow-twitch:

Slow twitch fibers (Type I): These muscle fibers can carry more oxygen and sustain longer periods of aerobic activity (activities that require your muscles to use oxygen) than other types of fibers, using fats or carbs as fuel.  They can contract for long periods of time, but are weak.  Think: long distance running or hours of cardio.

Fast twitch fibers (Type IIb): These muscle fibers can carry less oxygen and only work with short periods of anaerobic activity (activities that require your muscles to burn glycogen) before becoming exhausted.  They have the greatest potential for strength and for gaining size. Think: sprinting, power lifting, strength training.

Fast twitch fibers (Type IIa): These are a mix of Type I and Type IIb fibers, and thus can be used for either aerobic or anaerobic activities.

So, if you are somebody that genetically has more slow twitch fibers than fast twitch, you’re genetically predisposed to be a better distance runner.

If you have more fast twitch fibers than slow twitch, you’re genetically predisposed to be a better powerlifter or sprinter.

Either way, we have some of each: as we age, our Type I fibers remain generally unchanged, while our amounts and sizes of our Type II fibers will decrease.  [3] .  

So, are we born with muscle fibers that have cemented our fate, and we can either be marathon runners or sprinters?

Hell no!

We can actually change our muscle fibers based on our training!

A study performed on males who were tasked with “sprinting” all out on a bicycle with a specific training regimen for 4-6 weeks resulted in decreasing their slow twitch fibers from 57% to 48% while increasing their Type IIa fibers from 32% to 38%.[4] .  

In another study performed on females who went through a rigorous endurance training schedule, Type I fibers did not increase, Type IIb fibers decreased, and the Type IIa fibers increased significantly.  Type IIa fibers are the “switch hitters” that can be used for increased power or endurance.[5] .  

Although more studies should (and will) be done on muscle fibers and how they’re affected by training, and how it differs between men and women this is the conclusion I’ve drawn:

Genetics be damned.

It might be an uphill battle, but we can change our fate. Body type, metabolism, muscle fibers, they are merely a starting point for discussion.

We can change our size and the percentage of our muscle fibers with the right training, just like we can change our body composition with the right diet.

Yes, at the upper echelon of elite world class athletes, those with a higher genetic ceiling might have a physical advantage over those who have less of the beneficial muscle fibers.

But for regular muggles like you and me, there’s no reason why we can’t be who we want to be, and look how we want to look.

To hammer this point home, we’re gonna dive deep into online role playing games.

Even if you’re not a gamer, I guarantee this analogy will make you go “I get it, and damn Steve you are both clever and smart and really good looking and also modest.”

Thank you!

Role Playing Games and Body Types

I remember playing Everquest (the game that paved the road for World of Warcraft) back in 2001.

I spent hours reading the official strategy guide in order race for my character, Morphos Novastorm, who was to be the most kickass wizard in all of Norrath.

Why wizards? Because they always start scrawny and weak and end up really freaking powerful. Duh.

According to the guide, my best choice was to select the Erudites: they possessed the highest amount of intelligence to start (INT), and thus would give me an advantage over against non-Erudite wizards.

I agonized over this decision and spent hours before even starting the game because I assumed this decision that would forever haunt me if it was the wrong one!

And then I started playing.

As I watched Ogre Wizards, Gnome Wizards, Elf Wizards, Halfling Wizards kick serious ass in the later levels, it made me realize that although my character’s skill potential was slightly affected by my race….it had NO impact on how good I was at the game!

There were so many other factors that were more important:

My style of play.

The equipment my character is wearing

Who is in my group.

Was I having fun and challenging myself in a certain way?

Do you see the point I’m trying to make here?

YOUR BODY TYPE IS NO DIFFERENT.

Genetically, you might fit into one of the soma types above: ectomorph, mesomorph, or endomorph (animorph? call me).

Ultimately, think of your body type as your character’s “race” in a role-playing game:

How you choose to PLAY that character in this game of life makes all the difference in the world.

OKAY!

SO we’ve established the 3 soma types. We’ve discussed muscle fibers and genetics. And then we learned that the difference between the body types is minimal and that you can change your muscle fiber composition with training.

I have a few final points to make, but you might be looking for some recommendations:

I am an Ectomorph, Endomorph, or mesomorph. What do I Do?

Okay okay okay, you’ve read all this way, and now you’re wondering what you should actually do.

Let’s say you firmly believe you are an Ectomorph, Endomorph, or Mesomorph, and you want to know the best steps forward. This assumes that you REALLY are the soma type listed below.

Just know that I bet a LOT of people who think they gain fat easily are actually not an endomorph, they just have a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits! I’ll cover that below though:

I AM AN ECTOMORPH: Congrats, you are somebody that can’t put on any weight or muscle! I am too, and assumed for a decade that I was doomed to be thin as a rail. The reality was I just wasn’t eating enough. I had to break my own identity to go from Steve Rogers to Captain America.

If you are trying to get bigger, you should minimize cardio, maximize strength training, and whenever in doubt eat more calories!

I’d also recommend reading the following articles:

The Beginner’s Guide to Muscle and Strength

9 Mistakes Skinny Nerds Make trying to get Bigger

Strength Training 101

I AM A MESOMORPH: Congrats, you get to play life on easy difficulty! You’re more likely to build muscle and not store fat, but that doesn’t mean you get to rest on your laurels!

You’ll want to strength train, and depending on how old you are, you’ll have to become more disciplined with your diet. You can get away with it when you’re younger, but building healthy habits at a younger age and keeping your nutrition on track means you’ll keep a good physique as you get older!

I would recommend reading the following to help determine HOW you want to train: How to build the physique you want.

I AM AN ENDOMORPH: Congrats, you are playing life on a higher difficulty level. For starters, I want you to remove the stigma from your mind that you are a lost cause.

For starters, your metabolism isn’t slow, I PROMISE. The truth is that you most likely eat more than you realize, and you don’t do enough strength training to combat it.

You might also eat unhealthy foods (and/or consume a lot of sugar) that lead to physiological responses in your blood that promote fat storage!

What this means: you can’t use your genetics as a crutch or an excuse. It just “is what it is.” This means you’ll need to address both the quantity, and the quality of your food. I would focus on eating protein and healthy fats and try to minimize carb consumption.

As you start to strength train and make better food choices, you can affect HOW your body processes the calories you consume and start to change your body’s make-up. You can change it from “store fat” to “build muscle,” but you need to be disciplined about it!

May I recommend:

The beginner’s guide to eating healthy

What healthy nerds do that unhealthy nerds don’t.

Regardless of what you THINK your body type is, and what your ACTUAL genetic make-up is, it is a tiny tiny tiny piece of the puzzle.

The rest comes to how you want to play the game!

What happens if I don’t like my category?

You might have a few final questions, and I bet they fit into these categories:

Steve I’m kind of an overweight guy but I hate strength training, can I still run?

I’m skinny and I hate running, and I want to strength train, is that cool?

Here’s what to do if you don’t line up with what your genetics say you’ll be good at: acknowledge them, and then move on.

Write your own destiny.

Become the hero you want to be, not who you’re “supposed” to be.

The Truth: Your body will store fat and burn energy in a certain way.  Depending on your genetics, sex, hormone balance, age, and medical conditions, you might need to be more careful with your consumption of sugar and processed foods than other people, as you might be genetically more likely to store those foods as fat rather than burning them as fuel.

I’ve come to learn there is so much more to being healthy than just “eating less” and “moving more.”  It’s a complex topic involving dozens of variables that we still don’t fully understand yet.  Your genetics are the opening act, and your diet is the main actor in this story.

It sucks, but that’s the truth.

Your diet will be responsible for 80-90% of your success or failure when it comes to weight regulation.  So the BEST way for you to change your fate is to focus on eating the right kinds of foods.

How you chose to exercise makes up the other 10-20%. Ultimately it comes down to one big rule with exercise:

Enjoy it.

We’ve already covered the different “professions” and how you can be whatever you want in real life, be it Warrior, Druid, Assassin, Monk, Scout, Ranger, or any combination.

Hell, we even built a free character creation system here at NF so you can ACTUALLY treat life like a role playing game!

I can’t think of a better example of somebody deciding to Write their own path than Staci on Team NF.

She recently got her genetic testing done as well, and discovered that she’s supposed to be terrible at powerlifting based on her genetic makeup. Luckily, she didn’t listen to this, and now consistently deadlifts 400+ pounds:

A post shared by Staci Ardison (@staciardison) on Oct 11, 2017 at 5:01pm PDT

I’m definitely an “ectomorph.”  I have thin wrists, skinny legs, skinny ankles, and have struggled to put on any weight, be it muscle or fat, for most of my life. I’m genetically predisposed to be a good distance runner, and I’m not built for strength training.

On top of that, I have a genetic spinal condition that will severely limit my potential when it comes to getting big and strong.

I don’t care! 

I love strength training, so I strength train.

I don’t like distance running, so I don’t run. I train the way I want to because that’s WAY more fun for me – I don’t care what my peak genetic alignment says – I want to do the stuff that makes me feel alive. And that’s gymnastics!

A post shared by Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) on Oct 21, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

You might be an overweight guy or gal and want to become a Parkour Assassin or Martial Arts Monk or Elite Scout.

That is amazing! Freaking go for it.  Yes, you might have an uphill battle on your hands, but there’s no reason you can’t get to a great level of proficiency with your desired profession and HAVE FUN WITH IT.

We have a community full of characters of all races who are playing the game of life on different levels of difficulty….and having a damn good time doing so.

I want to leave you with one final public service announcement.

While we’re at it, comparisons are silly.

I once wrote about why comparing ourselves to our celebrity heroes in movies is silly: their lives are so different, their motivations are different, and their situation is different. 

It’s not a fair fight.

The same is true on comparing yourself to others in the gym or those you see in magazines.

You might walk into the gym and see a level 50 guy or girl, absolutely jacked/ripped/toned/thin/whatever in the weights section and think, “Wow! If I only had their genetics! Must be nice…”

“Must be nice” is one of the most dangerous phrases in the english language. Followed closely by “Hold my beer, watch this,” and “trust me, they don’t bite.”

The truth of the matter is, the people you wish you were like, no matter how good their genetics are, achieved their high level of fitness through consistent dedication to regular workouts and a healthy diet.

No matter watch edge you might possess genetically, you won’t see results without hard work.

Don’t let the fact that everybody is at different points in their quest be an excuse to blame genetics! You have NO idea what somebody’s genetics are like – it’s just easier to say “it must be their genes” rather than “they work WAY harder and are way more disciplined than me.”

We have different genetic makeups: different amounts of fast twitch or slow twitch muscle fibers, different bone densities, different levels of efficiency when it comes to fat storage and fuel consumption.

For these reasons, don’t compare your “reality” with somebody’s highlight reel:

If you are a Night Elf, comparing yourself to an Orc when it comes to being a tank/warrior isn’t going to be a fair fight.

Conversely, comparing yourself as an Orc to Night Elves on the topic of quickness is a losing proposition.

Just because somebody is muscular or skinny doesn’t mean they’re healthy. Just because somebody might be overweight compared to others doesn’t meant they aren’t in great physical condition.

So, the only comparison you should be making is to who you were yesterday.

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Go. Level up.

And that concludes today’s World of Warcraft lesson on Genetics.

Remember, there is only one thing we say to our genetics: Not today!

To recap:

Like in any role playing game, your character has strengths and weaknesses in the game of life, but it shouldn’t determine how you play the game. 

So regardless of your soma type (ectomorph, endomorph, or mesomorph), or your muscle-fiber composition, you can do whatever the hell you want. Training and the correct nutrition can fix nearly any genetic shortcoming, it just might require a very strict regimen and discipline and assistance.

If you want to be an elf warrior, or an ogre wizard, go for it.

I’d love to hear from you:

And what “soma type” are you, and have you changed your fate or decided to do so?

Leave a comment and let me know!

-Steve

PS: While we’re talking about the Game of Life, I wrote an entire book on this subject that is available in bookstores nationwide: Level Up Your Life.

It’s currently a Kindle book of the Month on Amazon, which means it’s on sale for only $2.99!

###

Photo Sources: Wizard, World of Warcraft Minis, apple and orange, punch, mushroom, pipe, butterfly, Oky – Space Ranger Inside Out minifigs

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

The formula involves your weight, height, upper arm circumference, maximal calf circumference, femur breadth, skinfolds, the whole nine yards.You can learn the formula and calculate it in this PDF

 From Examine.Com

PubMed: Type II fibers will decrease with age

PubMed: Increasing Muscle Type Fibers in Men

PubMed: Increasing Muscle Type Fibers in Females

from North Shore Outlet - Health and Fitness http://ift.tt/2AIxFoC via IFTTT

[stripdownforamoment]

WEEK 16_ MEDIA and IMAGES : shaping the modern woman

London, 12 February 2019

This week the theme is media. More currently we see the effects of social media in shaping our desires and ideas. It's been -and will continue to- be mentioned in many of my interviews both with the models and the artists. Not only that but, the different types of media that transcend the technological era. As a body artist, ORLAN expresses that beauty ideals can be traced back to classical and renascence art. That was a source of inspiration to her work that deals with BODY MODIFICATION.

Also, the topic of eating disorders will be a bit present in both this week´s reading as well as the interview with Joana. We will mention some negative parts but also how someone can take something as concerning and serious and take positive action in their lives.

Finally, we see the effect of traditional media such as magazines and television. And the ongoing desire that humans have to improve themselves aesthetically. I guess what we are really looking at is the way IMAGES inspire and shape beauty ideal throughout the years.

              STRIP DOWN FOR A MOMENT with Joana Silva

                  " My favourite part about my body is my BUM!"

"...it´s big. I worked hard on the gym to have this body that I love". Joana explains to us that is something that she feels proud off not only because it makes her feel beautiful and sexy but it comes from a place of hard work and self-love. "It´s also something that people notice on my appearance and compliment me on". She explains that is a good thing to feel good about your self though compliments and its a boost in your confidence and "there is nothing wrong with that".

She tells us that the part of the body she is more SELF CONSCIOUS of are her breasts. "I think they are a bit small but I don’t see them as a bad thing anymore". She has learnt to love this trade of hers and ignore beauty stereotypes and what is considered proportional by beauty standards. Once she even pierced her nipple as a way of self-expression. She explains that it was "just for fun" at the time and she didn't do it as an affirmation or anything. But looking back she recognised that experience made her feel good about this part of her body she didn't like as much. " Now I look back and see this moment as a way to embellish and give a purpose to that conflicted area of my body”.

"I grew up being a very underweight both as a child and a teenager. I would go as far as to say I had anorexic behaviour. But one trade that I always had was my big booty. No matter how skinny I was. I think it´s just genetics. Only in my late teenage years, I become a bit more chubby. At that point, people were commenting a lot about it because they were not used to it. And I wasn’t either. So I started to be very self-conscious about it".

At this point, she started to embrace a lot of dietary practices to cope with her lack of self-love to the way she looked. She tried veganism and is now a vegetarian for a few years. Joana decided to embrace a very healthy lifestyle and eating habits because it also promotes self-love and "makes us feel good from within".

Joana and I are very close friends and shared a lot of time and space with each other. By knowing her and living with her it really shows her passion for exercise and good eating habits. Also, she shows a big devotion to the gym and having an active life. She tells us how she really likes it and says it helped with a lot of thing in life. Both overcoming health problems and loving her body but also mentally. "It’s a space I go to reflect, almost like meditation". It helps to stop her busy life and have a break. It also a place to socialise and create a community. Many of her friends back home come from gym life. They met there and had become close friends and it’s a thing to bound over.

Her family is also very supportive of her diet which is good surprising in a way. She explains that in Portugal vegetarianism is not very well embraced lifestyle at times. Only recently there are more options for vegans and vegetarians as MEAT is a big part of our culture. Her mother and brother have also embraced a healthy lifestyle. She was a great and positive influence on her family and to be fair she was also the reason I started my vegetarian diet too.

She says that even with all the positive changes that her habits have had on her health "people still like to find a reason to criticise her lifestyle". That might be by commenting on her vegetarianism, or thinking that she might be obsessed with her figure and gym life. Or maybe they just think she is superficial.

"I enjoy posting on social media about my lifestyle. I like to take pictures in the gym and showing my beautiful body".  She says this is very empowering and helps her express self-love.

" It comes from a place of hard work and pride".

"But sill people will always twist it and think I am showing off or I am vain". She strongly believes we need to stop caring about what other people say. "They will always find something to criticise. At the end of the day if you are not hurting anyone and you are being good to your self that’s all it matters".

To FINALISE we talk about her experience in this project. Joana was the very first guinea pig for this whole project as she participated as a model in my very first test photoshoot.

"In the first shoot, I really didn’t like it. We took some pictures where you could really see my belly rolls. When we take pictures of our selves for Instagram for example, we are used to posing or bodies in a certain way that is more flattering. So when we see our selves in another angle or different from what we are used to it, looks BAD".

Maybe also the factor of exposure. After all, is a nude shoot. Truth be told clothes help accentuate thing we like about our selves and hide other things.

"It was a shock for me. But its really a matter of self-acceptance. And also, I got used to the idea and the concept".

The second time we shoot, the final shoot, was a lot more professional- with all the lighting and camera. "It was better. The professional atmosphere and now knowing what the project. Also seeing how other people had done it as well helped me feel more comfortable".

" The pictures where now a lot more meaningful and I liked that they had a point. We worked with different angles and close shots. That makes it feel less personal and less intimidating. It's not about me as a person but is now about this story and to sharing my experience to maybe make other people feel good".

                 VISUAL REFERENCES work of French artist ORLAN

My father introduced me to her in a conversation about my project. I was updating him on this project and talking about some artists I have come across in my research. When talking about Body Image the topic BODY MODIFICATIONS came to my dad´s mind and he told me to explore the works of ORLAN. He told me her work was very diverse but she was famously known for her performative works that revolve around body modification and surgery.

Born Mireille Suzanne Francette Porte, the French artist first adopted the name ORLAN in 1971. Although ORLAN is best known for her work with PLASTIC SURGERY in the early to mid-90s, she does not limit herself to a specific medium and in her website, you can find photography, sculpture, installations and other types of art.

She was credited with great importance in art history as a body artist. Her work explores themes related to IDENTITY and TECHNOLOGY. Also, the rediscovering of the poetics of the body: the REAL body and IMAGINARY body, the LIVED and EMOTIONAL body, the MYSTIC and SOCIAL body and the DIFFUSE and HYBRID body.

The Reincarnation of Saint-ORLAN

This is her most remarkable work related to self-MODIFICATIONS. Started in the 1990s involves a series of plastic surgeries through which the artist transformed herself into elements from famous paintings and sculptures of women. As a part of her "Carnal Art" manifesto -and related to contemporary performative and artistic movements-  these works were filmed and broadcast throughout the world.

Her goal with this series of cosmetic modifications is to acquire the IDEALS of female beauty- depicted by male artists though out art history. When complete ORLAN will have Venus chin from Botticelli's, Psyche nose from Jean-Léon Gérôme's, Europa lips from François Boucher's, the eyes of Diana -as depicted in a 16th-century French School of Fontainebleau painting- and the forehead of Mona Lisa from Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece.

ORLAN explain that the reason behind her references is “not for the canons of beauty they represent... but rather on account of the stories associated with them." ORLAN chose Diana because she is inferior to the gods and men, but the leader of the goddesses and women. Mona Lisa, because of the standard of beauty, or anti-beauty, that she represents. Psyche, because of the fragility and vulnerability within her soul. Venus, for carnal beauty and Europa, for her adventurous outlook on the future.

Entre-Deux, a self-portrait inspired by Venus, by ORLAN in 1994.

"When I embarked on my project The Reincarnation of Saint ORLAN in 1990, I had a series of operations that had never been done before. I wasn’t using plastic surgery to bring me closer to the norm of beauty. I wanted a procedure that would disrupt the very idea of what beauty is." (The Guardian, 2016)

"People often focus on the implants I had put in on my temples in 1993. They’re meant to permanently heighten the cheekbones, but I had them inserted on each side of my forehead. When people describe me without seeing me, I sound like an undesirable monster. But when they see me it’s different" (The Guardian, 2016).

Occasional Striptease with linen from the trousseau, 1974-1975

Études Documentaries, LE DRAPÉ BAROQUE 1978

"All through time, civilisations have re-imagined the body, through tattoos, scarring, modifications to the skull. Now, we can replace teeth when they fall out or fix a cleft lip and other deformations – nature’s horrors. Nature shows us what a complete transformation looks like: a baby’s head becomes a teenager’s and an adult’s head becomes that of an old woman or man. To transform one’s body, to cross-dress, to change the colour of one’s hair, to me doesn’t seem so different (The Guardian, 2016).

It was very hard for me to look into her artwork, especially her The Reincarnation of Saint-ORLAN work. I really struggle with the topic of surgery and it was very squeamish for me. I couldn’t make myself look at one of her performances so I asked people around me to describe it to be.

It's so interesting to me because even ORLAN herself recognised how her appearance can be compared to much as a monstrosity - due to all these unnatural pressures. Her appearance is a LIVING PARADOX. All here references are this beautiful creature but in the end, she becomes this self-made Frankenstein like Alien-like CREATION.

                              READING  book by Wykes and Gunter

This week´s reading on The MEDIA and Body Image by Meggie Wykes and Barrie Gunter was very informative. In it, you can find detailed text full of facts and scientific and historical research. It also references a lot of other writers, studies and surveys.

The chapters I was the most interested -and focused my lecture on- we about themes such as different Body Shapes and Ideals, Locating a source for this issue to blame, Gender and Body, Body Matters and Selling the body. Also, other chapters such as From Representation to Effects, the Prevalence of Concerns About Body Image and Mediated Bodies (Wykes and Gunter, 2005).

Each chapter and title were very complex and extensive. Although I found myself further reading about the topic I find difficult to analyse and comment on this content due to its factual nature. However, it's very noticeable for me the connection with these texts and the subject matter addressed in the interview with my models. A current theme in the interviews I made for this project is the effect puberty has on US. This is not new information, as we learn from an early age that this stage of our life provides loads of emotional, hormonal and physical change. Nonetheless, this was a statement and further affirmation of how these issues are not just abstract concepts and topics we read in books, but real stories that affect REAL PEOPLE in their lives.

In the book, the authors mention and comment on studies that show that these obsessions with body image develop from ages 13 to 18. After it's development these OBSESSIONS, most of the time, continue to evolve and lead to eating disorders. It just comes to show that these changes impact our lives dramatically and permanently (Wykes and Gunter, 2005).  

There are a lot of parallelisms between the information found in this book and the events portrait on the interviews.

I will not be focusing too much on this review as I prefer to develop in better detail my own research with the model and artists interviews. Still, this reading was very important and enriching for my project in a more factual way. I think it is important to back up some of the experiences you and the people around you been through with some information that is available in studies.

                                                   REFERENCES

Orlan.eu. (n.d.). Artiste transmédia et féministe. Météorite narratif du BIO ART. Son oeuvre questionne le statut du CORPS dans la société. Ses sculptures, HYBRIDATIONS et autoportraits réinterprètent le rôle des nouvelles technologies.. [online] Available at: http://www.orlan.eu/ [Accessed 14 Mar. 2019].

The Guardian. (2016). Beauty reimagined: 500 years of Botticelli. [online] Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2016/feb/14/what-is-beauty-botticelli-art-victoria-and-albert-exhibition [Accessed 14 Feb. 2016].

Wykes, M. and Gunter, B. (2005). The Media and Body Image.

[gracefuldist]

Okay, as Dist has a wide variety of canon looks, I wanted to ... a) whinge about this fact and b) set out my own headcanons as to what my dist-o looks like.  As you can see, he goes from having white to pink hair, tiny no-chin to yaoi-chin, stark black brows to brows that actually match his root colour, and worst of all - full on clown lips, only painting his bottom lip, no lip at all and then finally getting it together in the manga and painting both lips perfectly.  So... here’s an assortment of headcanons about what my poor wee goose-y son looks like: 

He shaves his brow and draws them on every day - this is why they are so inconsistently coloured and shaped. They naturally grow in his root colour. 

Which, incidentally, is white. While... white hair isn’t all that common, it’s certainly more common than lilac. Considering most of the TotA cast have the normal range of hair colours, I just prefer the white. Also it makes him seem more snowy/moony which reflects his wintery personality. 

Asides from his head, he’s completely hairless & even tho he forgets to do basic things like eat and engage in basic human socialisation - he will Always remember to shave. Lip/chin hair is particularly upsetting to him. 

Visually, he’s of east asian decent and has slightly brown skin. 

His hairstyle is less like his mop from the game and closer to his manga/anime style. It’s bouncy and flowy and obviously well kept. The hairdressers is one of his favourite places In The World. 

I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knows how to paint his lips. So.. no clown smiles for u dist, be thankful I am a Merciful and Kind mun. He will occasionally only paint his bottom lip, though, because he thinks it looks fashionable and cool. He thinks it could someday become a thing. He’s wrong. 

This absolutely isn’t canon but I like it anyway - when he was a kid, he had a lot of freckles. These freckles mysteriously vanished around the same time he discovered makeup. (They’re more vivid and numerous if he’s been out in the sun, aka he puts on a heavier layer of foundation) 

On his right temple, under his bangs, he has a faded scar from when Jade threw a snowball laced with a rock at his head. He didn’t go to Nebilim or any other healer, so The Scar Remained. 

His eyes are violet (can’t hc anything normal out of this one...) and veined with darker shades closer to red, which is more apparent in the sun. They resemble purple sapphires and are the source of his name.

At 5′9 and 62kg, he’s clearly underweight. When he’s busy working/obsessing over something, he typically forgets to eat - worse, he never exercises because of his Flying Chair. His legs are particularly muscle-less, and he has a very boney no-bum. 

However he does have a great waist. 

seriously, look:

He’s got very wee hands relative to his size. He likes wearing gloves to make them seem a bit bigger. 

He NEVER buttons his shit right and always ends up unbuttoning it, anyway - sometimes out of subconscious anxiety, sometimes just because he hates his damn collar restraining his neck. His New Order of Lorelei outfit causes him quite a bit of bother because of that, but he Tries very hard not to undo that because Fashion. 

idk why this is important to me, but it is - he has a very wee, slightly pointed tongue. 

Also BIG FEET, he also walks slightly pigeon toed and runs with a very chicken like gait. This has somewhat improved over time, but not much. His knees are covered in scars from various trips and falls. 

He always tries to hold himself with an air of grace - this is all very forced and deliberate, making him appear quite stiff. However, he naturally sits with a slight hunch - largely from years of being bent over various work stations and desks. He will correct his posture when standing, but again, it takes conscious effort.

And that’s it... for now....  

[neverfcrgottenarchived]

REALLY  LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost, don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. @themisfitmouse TAGGING. whoever would like!

i will probably do this survey for each group of muses!  first will be lady and laila!

BASICS. FULL  NAME : lady || laila caroline brown NICKNAME : pidge ( tramp ) || pidge, lady AGE : ~2 years || 17 years BIRTHDAY : september 24th ETHNIC  GROUP : cocker spaniel? xD || half-latina NATIONALITY :  american LANGUAGE / S : english || english & spanish SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : heterosexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : heteroromantic. RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : verse dependent for both.  single but can be taken. CLASS : upperclass HOME  TOWN / AREA : new haven, connecticut CURRENT  HOME : new haven || bounces between new haven and los angeles PROFESSION : loyal friend || model and part time actress

PHYSICAL. HAIR : light brown with cream paws, muzzle, and underbelly.  darker brown ears  || a dark brown, long and often styled in some way or another EYES : both have dark brown, milk chocolate colored gazes NOSE : black and average sized for a canine of her stature || a bit long, curved.  not very wide and somewhat pointed. FACE : fluffy xD || heart shaped with a more pointed chin and high cheekbones that really accentuate her smiles. LIPS : not really seen || not overly plump but noticeable.  usually decorated with a color to help accentuate them and given them a more appealing nature. COMPLEXION : ...fluffy || a bit on the darker side but not overly so.  enough to make her latina roots apparent but not obvious.  a dark cream, one might say.  nearly flawless. BLEMISHES : none SCARS : none TATTOOS : none HEIGHT : 1′4″ || 5′10″ WEIGHT : 20 lbs || 140 lbs BUILD : smaller than her amounts of fluff let on.  muscled but not overly so.  not petite, but in good shape, and certainly not overweight or underweight.  strong legs but a small head. || tall, built like that of a model with defining curves and a great deal of leg.  clearly skinny -- perhaps a bit too skinny.  some muscle in the arms and calves mostly. FEATURES : for a canine, lady is elegant and graceful.  very charming with long lashes and well groomed fur that can feel like silk.  a soft voice and very little barking unless something is seriously wrong in some way. || tall, gorgeous, charming, beautiful.  laila is unnervingly almost perfect in some ways.  at least physically.  a charming smile.  she’s nearly always decorated -- nails painted, lips glossed, hair up or curled.  she’s always ready to make a good impression. ALLERGIES : not really an allergy but, like all dogs, lady can’t have chocolate, grapes, etc. || none except some seasonal allergies. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE : groomed.  straight, mostly, but has a bit of a curl to it. || laila styles her hair a number of ways.  some of her main go-tos are a half up look with the bottom half giving loose waves, completely up in a bun with a few tendrils to frame her face, simply straightened and sleek, and a braided ponytail. USUAL  FACE  LOOK : both of them usually look calm, relaxed, and welcoming.  neither is off putting in any way, usually wearing a smile and with warmth in their gazes.  their smiles are big, but just gentle curves as if to serve as reassurances to anyone who might glance at them that they are simply happy where they’re at and ready to talk if anyone else is.  they’re looking to spread joy to those around them, and that starts with being joyful themselves. USUAL  CLOTHING : none || in summer, she loves cute sundresses and pretty sandals.  perhaps a small jacket over top and then ribbons in her hair.  also likes jean shorts and cute tank tops with fun sneakers.  in winter, she likes leggings and pretty sweaters or sweater dresses, tall boots, and maybe a jacket.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : being forgotten, unwanted, or unloved.  she isn’t fond of rats, though they aren’t quite a fear.  sometimes loud bangs surprise her and being hit.  muzzles. || being forgotten, unwanted, unloved.  guns.  seeing her family hurt.  failure.  anything less than perfection.  losing her spotlight and the love and attention she gets. ASPIRATION / S : simply to live long and happily with her family || to continue to be a great model.  would love to one day be a fashion designer of her own. POSITIVE  TRAITS : kind, gentle, understanding, compassionate, passionate, bold. NEGATIVE  TRAITS : self-conscious, jealousy, sometimes shallow, a bit of a lover of being the center of attention.  naive. MBTI : esfp. ZODIAC : libra TEMPERAMENT : sanguine/phlegmatic SOUL  TYPE / S : caregiver, creator, performer ANIMALS : dogs/prairie dog VICE  HABIT / S : attention seeking, in need or praise and adoration.  lady loves to bury bones and sometimes digs in darling’s garden.  laila has a very mild case of anorexia and doesn’t eat as much as she should.  she also sometimes brushes her own pain off in favor of making others happy or helping them with their pain. FAITH : none really || christian GHOSTS ? : nope || laila believes in guardian angels AFTERLIFE ? : uncertain || yes: heaven and hell REINCARNATION ? : uncertain || no ALIENS ? : hasn’t thought much on that || entertains possibility but has little care regarding it POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : none || fiscally conservative but socially liberal.  considers herself independent because she doesn’t like either side’s way of arguing. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE : lady doesn’t have much to worry about || laila is spoiled and paid a great deal so she doesn’t, either SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : lady has no thoughts || to laila, politics should protect equality in social standings, but she also acknowledges that this includes some dangerous beliefs.  laila believes that politics can’t pick and choose good and bad ideas, however, and that it is up to good ideas to defeat bad. EDUCATION  LEVEL : ...taught things by jock? || currently finishing high-school level tutoring/home schooling

FAMILY. FATHER : lady was from a breeder and knowns nothing of her father || laila’s father is john brown.  a lawyer and very supporting man, if not a bit defensive of his daughter for being perhaps too easily smothered. MOTHER : lady’s mother was a cocker named celeste.  lady doesn’t remember her. || laila’s mother is elizabeth darling.  she did college with john where she majored in business.  she worked as a sales rep until she has kids.  it’s become a more part time position now, but their family is rather secure with john’s job. SIBLINGS : lady remembers none of her siblings.  but she had three. || john “junior” brown is laila’s younger brother by seven years. EXTENDED  FAMILY : none || aunt sarah is her father’s aunt, actually.  sia and amanda, her cousins, were taken in by aunt sarah when john’s brother and sister-in-law died in a car accident while si and am were still young.  aunt sarah spoils them rotten. NAME  MEANING / S : lady was named for her sweetheart demeanor when first given to darling at christmastime. || laila means “born at night.”  it has no real significance, honestly, i just wanted an “l” name to correspond with lady. HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : technically the story of walt giving his wife a dog for christmas?  otherwise none.

FAVOURITES. BOOK : none || laila loves romance books.  she’s a sucker for them.  yes, she did have a twilight phase at one point, but they’re not her ultimate choices.  the clique series was also a favorite of hers while younger. MOVIE : none || dear john 5  SONGS : none || anything by katy perry, ke$ha, or lady gaga.  firework is her personal fave. DEITY : she believes in Holy Trinity HOLIDAY : none specifically || christmas, generally.  but easter is also wonderful because of the warm weather and the good news it brings.  plus, it’s a good excuse to wear a cute dress.  but christmas tends to win simply because it brings family and friends together moreso. MONTH : she likes the spring and fall months. SEASON : spring or fall for both. PLACE : in front of the fire, relaxing in the back garden, on jim dear or darling’s lap || the runway, the spotlight, somewhere with a nice view, or just hanging out with scott somewhere. WEATHER : mild weather -- not overly hot or cold.  hence why spring and fall are her favorite seasons as they don’t overly do it.  for both. SOUND : lady loves the sounds of the birds chirping outside the windows.  also clinking of silverware usually means it’s almost time for food!  trusty’s voice sharing a nice story, or a fresh breeze. || people cheering, a fun song, waterfalls, cats purring, laughter. SCENT / S : darling’s garden and all the flowers, a juicy steak, apple pie. || cinnamon, fresh water, warm dough, a bouquet, coffee, a good perfume. TASTE / S : meats and cheeses.  sausage flavored dog treats. || cinnamon pretzels, apples, coffee, cranberries, and garlic bread. FEEL / S : soft pets, warm laps, happy snuggles, the fresh lawn, a chew toy between her teeth, sunshine. || hugs, a sweet kiss, fond touches, cozy sweaters, sunshine, the way her throat rumbles when she sings, a good dance. ANIMAL / S : dogs || laila loves almost any animal.  she really loves giraffes though. NUMBER : none || six COLOUR : no preference || pastels

EXTRA. TALENTS : listening, can do a number of tricks, a fast learner even if not always the most intelligent, remaining calm, singing. || modeling, acting, singing, flexibility, cheering others up. BAD  AT : sometimes she’s not the best at understanding, while speedy for her size, she isn’t quite as fast as a taller dog would be, she tends to be a bit clumsy, she’s timid to hurt another physically or to hurt their feelings, she’s a pushover. || a pushover sometimes, she’s also clumsy, not so speedy or good at maneuvering, containing jealousy. TURN  ONS : lady wants someone kind, sweet, a bit dominating, and will help her protect and love her family.  || laila likes someone who’s tall, fit, charming, almost bad boy like but putty with her.  someone supportive.  playing with her hair.  she also likes groping and making out. TURN  OFFS : someone rude and unfriendly.  someone who hurts or gets angry easily or for not real reason. || unwilling to work hard, disrespectful, doesn’t like her friends.  forcing her to do anything she doesn’t want to or isn’t ready for.  unfit and ignoring her. HOBBIES : just playing with her family || singing, cooking.  can sew.  fashion designing mostly. TROPES : all girls want bad boys, affectionate nickname, beware the nice ones, spoiled sweet, mama bear, uptown girl, etc.  fits both generally.

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : v.ictoria justice ALT  FC / S : none OLDER  FC / S : currently l.eonor v.arela YOUNGER  FC / S : a.riel w.inter VOICE  CLAIM / S :  s.ydney s.ierota ( singer from e.chosmith ) GENDERBENT  FC / S : none

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?           A1 : technically she is already in her own movie.  and laila would just be a human version of the movie so nothing all to much to change there. Q2 : what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?           A2 : ..... Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?           A3 : lady and the tramp has always been one of my favorite disney movies.  and lady is a fascinating character -- one who is a very stereotypical sort of female while also having her own sort of passion and ambition and character.  i wanted to flesh that out more.  laila stemmed from me wanting to give lady a new life and decide how she might be like as a human.  she’s gotten so much of her own vibrant youth, i adore playing her.  she doesn’t fit in today’s society, but it’s fun to put her in it. Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?           A4 : see above. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.           A5 : coming up with interactions for a dog character is hard...  but her as a character?  honestly very little.  same with laila.  they’re very intriguing characters.  if they were real, their spoiledness would put me off some.  especially since laila is more vocal about it. Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?           A6 : lady and i love food xD  i like to think i’m calm and understanding such as they are. Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?           A7 : lady loves everyone, including me.  laila doesn’t mind me, but she wants to get out more. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?         A8 : lady is fun with everyone.  seeing how characters react to a puppy is always adorable and interesting in my opinion.  i adore laila’s relationship with scott, her big bro.  then her and ratchet is great and going to hurt me.  and then there’s her and her lovebug, tobias. Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 : being in a good mood, honestly. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?         A10 : a really long time since i watched a movie at one point and all xD