#I need to watch it 20 times more
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Non spoiler Letterboxd reviews of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
#guardians of the galaxy vol 3 spoilers#guardians of the galaxy 3#gotg vol 3#gotg spoilers#tagging it as a spoilers JUST IN CASE#since I know some people also avoid watching the trailers#the movie is great yo#I cried for two days afterwards#I'm still not emotionally recovered#I need to watch it 20 times more#the soundtrack is a baller#and somehow it included a Hatsune Miku song
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GUYS YOU DONT KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THIS I'M SO NORMAL RN I NEED TO DRAW THEM I NEED TO DRAW THEM NOW KDJDKDDJKDKSSKSJ
#transformers#transformers one#trailer#screenshots#im going insane guys#megop#MEGOP MEGOP MEGOP MEGOP#Y'ALL ARE GETTING MEGOP FANART SOON#I NEED THEM IM SO NORMAL RIGHT NOW#GUYS SAVE MEEEEEEE#THEYRE SO ADORABLE I NEED THEM I NEED THEM#ive watched the trailer more than 20 times am i normal#THIS TRAILER HAS HEALED ME IN SO MANY WAYS
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Riz has counted four casseroles this week alone. Five, if one goes by the method of cooking, but Yelen's scary when she's crossed, and calling her burek by its proper name is important to her, so Riz does her the courtesy and doesn't include it in his mental tally.
He holds the tupperware over his head to keep it out if the way as he takes careful steps over the piles of notes in his path. The dockman case just closed, relevant documentations handed over to relevant personnels, evidences dealt with as needed; all he has lying around now is just record of the process and traces of himself thinking through it. Unsurprisingly they still haven't invented a surface more convenient for people under five feet who like to pace to put pieces of paper on than the ground.
Actual records go into the case folder with the other documents. Anything else with at least one side still blank is going to the school kids in the block - they chew through an astounding amount of paper just learning arithmetic. The rest is for the recycling basket.
Later. It's his mandated lunch break right now.
Riz sits down in front of the corner file cabinet. In an office often overrun with papers and strings and sometimes even thumbtacks, he's never really managed to clutter up this exact square of surface like every other ones. Ever since the bottom drawer rattled for no discernible reason a day long past, his eyes have always just kinda decided to slide across the space without acknowledging it.
It's years out, now. Riz doesn't know why he thought it such a big deal anymore, back then. He wasn't scared, he doesn't think. Not anymore. Maybe just uncomfortable with the idea that certain things persist despite all efforts to change.
He opens the tupperware. Dame Carabelle's experiment greets him with enough spice in the aroma alone to knock out a small mammal. When he chopped the vegetables for this casserole he couldn't really imagine the eventual heft of it, evident even through just these few ladles' worth, maybe weighing heavier for being still warm. His folk eat more through the smell and the textures and the aftertastes than the taste itself. His folk's meal is really the cooking rather than the eating. The eating is the meal's end.
"Hey," he tells the file cabinet's bottom drawer. "Um."
It's the anniversary. Riz doesn't know the exact date of his dad's death; nobody currently alive does. He and Mom both use the date of the funeral, though as he moved out to Bastion and then got more directly involved with Interplanar he hasn't really been going to Dad's grave as much. Doesn't seem like very efficient use of his time, catching a train or borrowing a car or spending a whole spell slot on going somewhere he knows Dad isn't at. They're sorta coworkers now. They talk on and off every other week between missions. When he goes now, it's just to clean up the place, keeping the landmark tidy and respectable.
Without that work to mark the date he doesn't really know what it serves anymore. But he still remembers it. Still takes note, absently or not, when it comes around.
There's not really a good way to tell the drawer that. Riz looks for another way to start the... conversation, hopefully. The question at play, he'd guess, is why he's doing this. He's been pretty content ignoring all the rattlings and the knocks from inside and the times it sits slightly ajar without him ever opening it himself; hell, he still uses the three drawers on top of it. Space is fucking precious in Bastion.
Precious enough to finally fix this damn drawer so he gets his turn to use it? Riz asks himself. Is that what we're getting to? Then he dismisses the thought - he didn't manage to fix it the times he actually tried, let alone-- now. When he doesn't really care that much to.
That's probably a good place to start. "'s fine if you keep being in there, turns out," Riz says.
The lunch hours are quiet in the block, sleepy and bright with the brief window of sunlight that manages to break through roof overhangs and extended balconies and laundry lines and climbing vines. Riz's work isn't loud here (the loud parts happen away from his office, if everything goes right), but the fragment of early summer heat reflected in the steady warmth his meal still carries compels him to lower his voice even more. It makes the words feel intimate, in a way he's never been familiar with - if he says something he just says it. He doesn't whisper. If he gives his friends something, he gives it open-palm. He's found out, along the way, that people usually don't think of rituals and courtesies the way he does.
Small voice for a diminished monster. "You know why I think so?" Riz asks. "Because almost two decades ago you kidnapped me and almost killed me, and now you rattle a drawer in my office."
It doesn't sound as much like a taunt as Riz wanted it to; the drawer has made a lot of noises again this morning when he checked the calendar, and he was definitely annoyed at it. Now, though, facing it like this after cooking the whole morning with more grandparents and peers from the block than he can count on both hands to cater for a tenant union meeting, he thinks the annoyance has morphed. Changed shape.
It has the shades of something like pity. Riz is not prone to pity, and especially not at these kinda matters. It's slightly maddening that he coheres perfectly outside of this one spot. That he commands his spaces, except for a drawer.
He puts the tupperware onto the floor between himself and the cabinet. "I know we're aware it's the anniversary," he says at the drawer. "You do this every year. You make a ruckus every time I decide to go do my job instead of mooching off my friends' aircon, and every time I get an invitation to some stupid social thing I want to turn down, and every time one of the old people tries to introduce me to a child or a nibling, because being a bachelor over thirty is weird," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have three fucking jobs. I love doing my fucking jobs. I'm forcing funds into infrastructures. You're never leaving, are you."
The drawer vibrates lightly. It's a very, very mild acknowledgement, considering the history of reactions Riz has gotten from this thing. Riz thinks it's emanating joyous agreement, or satisfaction.
It only sharpens the pity. Riz doesn't like that, but it's how it is. That's, ultimately, the lesson he's been taught over and over and over again, just by existing as himself, turned every which way by space after space that don't see him eye-to-eye: it's not like he'd quit living over any of it. It's not like any of it can sand off these fundamental pieces of him.
He's outgrown a lot of things, he's found out. Again, and again, and again. A childhood home, a yearly trip, a monster.
"'s probably scary for you, huh?" He asks. "Because I left."
He thinks he hears joints creak that sound like you did. Probably the way a scorned lover would say it, in a movie or a yellowback. He has no more connection to the idea than he did as a kid. Less, because it doesn't even scare him.
"That's what it is, right? That it's the anniversary, and I'll never be like Dad." He raises a knee from the floor, pulls it back closer to him. Slings an arm over it. "You love to remind me. The thing is, Dad also left. He loved Mom and he loved me, and none of us wanted it to happen, but it still did. Because love does fuckall to make anyone stay on its own."
He's long past being bitter about it. It's just the facts. Once upon a time he looked into the future and the specter of his friends' happily-ever-after casted lightless, fathomless shadow over him. Love, marriage, that kind of devotion, to a fifteen-year-old with more solved cases than friends seemed so eternal. Final.
But you can only watch your friends build up apps' worth of jilted lovers for so long before getting over it.
"You know what I learned?" Riz tells the drawer. "Love doesn't make anyone stay. Project management does."
He stands up, and picks up the tupperware of Dame Carabelle's casserole, that he helped make, that he helped share with a block's worth of neighbors and members of a community he's at home with, and goes sit at his desk to eat. "Last chance to get any," he drops an offer over his shoulder as he walks away.
He doesn't eat all of his share in one go. What he's spared he leaves on the desk when going outside for a smoke break. Baron looks the exact same as when he saw them last, when he catches a glimpse; they haven't grown at all. They aren't there when he comes back inside, but the leftover has gone days-old cold, like someone's sucked the future out of it.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#this is set a Long time into the future. riz is like 32 in this one#''I will go to sleep'' so turns out that was a fucking lie#lmao I just needed to finally externalize this idea into Some kind of more final form#initially I aimed for a comic with this but ooughgoughhh I am. indisposed. unable to do that rn#and also I feel like there would just be too fucking much Riz Saying Words in that format for it to work. and I always go if theres so much#words in ur comic might as well make it a fic. and well. heeding my own advice perhaps#just been sitting on this sentiment of like. perceiving romantic relationships as uniquely permanent or conclusive#when the vast majority of people I know would hugely benefit from a divorce lmao#since watching fhjy at least. I think in a sense this is kind of my personal answer for that sticky note style comic I did way back thens#how much of that fear of being deprioritized comes from not being taken care of by the community you're in#I think that's the prettiest answer I can give for riz's deal. not one singular Special Person no matter the kind of flavour#but spaces that he's integrated in. that he has a hand in building even#okay NOW I sleep. everyone be quiet ok small voice for good sleep. it wont be a lie this time I prommy
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I think it matters a lot that a) everyone who has seeming offered to help Karna has done so *after* she needed it. And b) was in some way using her and therefore needed her.
In the eyes of a child, if you weren’t there when she needed you, and can’t even help yourself, what good are you to her?
#seph watches the ravening war#the ravening war#d20 the ravening war#karna solara#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#the ravening war spoilers#I just have so many Karna feelings right now#I’m sorry I don’t mean to just ramble endlessly#I’m not just trying to get attention but I do giggle like a small bashful child if I do catch the eye aabria#I was not anticipating the first time and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to acknowledge it or not? hello if you read this I’m flattered#mostly I’m just going giddy over an angry literally rotting and starving warlock assassin#the idea of rotting befor she ripened is turning me literally feral#‘be careful with that one love [she] will do what it takes to survive’#is a lyric that ends up describing some of my all time favourite characters#though not actually the guy it’s about… Oop.#scavengers and survivors and damaged children with hungry eyes who learn how to be whoever you need#just to stay alive one more day to make it long enough#to outrun you so they can outrun the bear#the kid who learned that you can’t count on anyone so be everyone
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Greta Van Fleet - The Indigo Streak (Live From RCA Studio A)
#I’m not doing well don’t ask#this was AWFUL#but I’m also so in love with it#I need to watch it 20 more times#gvf#my gifs
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this is riveting u gotta give us an update in like 6 months.... wishing u luck on finding women in their 30s. ur gonna take so many classes
I actually will I am SO determined. people are always like “I wanna join clubs bc where else do you meet people you date” and I’m j like I wanna join clubs so I can become besties w women in their 30s
#Love all my 20 something year old friends but also simultaneously sick of the immaturity it’s time to go a different direction#I’m saying this like I’m not ab to go watch Wicked w my friends tn#Like I love them I always will#i just need more variety
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anyone else having to go through fhjy at a snail's pace bc every time there's a teacher-student interaction (even the positive ones!) you want to set something on fire because of how much you hate high school and american academic culture and it throws you back to the Bad Old Days of actually being in high school, but also you really like fantasy high and you really like the characters and their story and the players and the way they're exploring & critiquing the US school system and basically everything about the show but actually watching it makes your brain explode?
#dimension 20#d20#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#original post#look every time porter comes on screen i lowkey have a rage blackout#my hyperempathetic ass needs to watch recaps or read the transcripts or something#its too goddamn much#bc fantasy high has never actually been about like. the academics#but now that it is and now that aguefort is functioning more as a prestigious private school than as a lawless wasteland#its actually bringing back memories of me being in high school. the bad ones.#so its like. it turns out that the thing i liked about fantasy high was that it wasn't actually high school as i remember it#look i think what they're doing this season is genius#brennan is the perfect person to tackle this kind of topic#and each character has a different struggle that is both unique and yet resonates with the real world#and academic trauma is incredibly underdiscussed and i love that d20 has the guts to address it#i just need to take 3-5 business days to process every like. hour of content#so. we'll see how long it takes me to finish it
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(A Crown of Candy, Episode 7: Escape from the Bulb Creeps // Abbey by Mistki // A Crown of Candy, Episode 8: Deep Bleu Sea // Abbey by Mitski)
#can you tell what campaign im watching for the first time?#webweave#no spoilers pls im literally mid watching this episode lol#i mean i know skme spoilers but i dont need more from the class rn#acoc#a crown of candy#dimension 20#dimension 20 webweave#acoc webweave#mitski#abbey mitski#liam wilhelmina#ally beardsley#brennan lee mulligan
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apologies to all the people that followed me for bsd stuff and are now watching me spiral into gravity falls and my occasional deadpool x wolverine (poolverine? i forgot the ship name) reblogs
#i still love bsd dont get me wrong#i just latched onto gravity falls so strongly that i need to consume media for it and sooth the rabid creature in my mind#it happens every year like clockwork now that i think abt it#started with undertale (which lasted almost two years i think) and had bits of loz and fnf scattered throughout it#then maybe 4 months of tbhk obsession#and then mha and demon slayer (both very strongly)#and then inuyasha and death note (i never collected much stuff for those fandoms bc i just rewatched the series so much. ive watched#death note over 20 times and idek how many times ive rewatched inuyasha)#and then aot and a few various others for a few months#and then bsd very very strongly with bits of things like helluva boss hazbin hotel and small things#and now gravity falls with poolverine#I YAP SM IM SORRY#gravity falls#billford#ford squared#bsd#bungou stray dogs#aot#deadpool and wolverine#tbhk#fnf#no more tags bc im tired
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Something unique about Actual Play as a genre is that the more fan service-y call back moments are highlighted immediately by the cast's reaction to them and that can actually go a long way to help your non-informed audience members. I am approx 13 episodes into campaign 2 and don't know this Essek person,* but the cast's excitement is infectious and I instantly understand the importance, even if I don't know the details. Plus Matt has always done a pretty good job at keeping things accessible to an audience that potentially hasn't seen previous campaigns.
Some recent reveals on Dimension 20 do this a bit too, and even if they help the audience a bit with clips or edits, there is still the cast's excitement that helps highlight a moment. I don't know if I have a larger point other than the immediate meta reaction of a call back is a fun quirk of the genre I enjoy. It's like a less obnoxious studio audience.
#*obvious exaggeration - he is unavoidable (affectionate) if you spend a minute in the CR fandom and I look forward to discovering more#critical role#cr3#cr spoilers#dimension 20#i really need to put more time into my campaign 2 watch
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"Ai, living has no answer."
"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.
If there are no absolute, then what's left?
Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.
That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.
That's what life is.
I have to do that forever?
Yes.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah.
I'd need to be so strong.
That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.
You can't rush living."
So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.
#yu gi oh#vrains#vrains spoilers#SPOILERS#how do you tag so it really really doesn't show too obviously because seriously I'd feel horrible for completely spoiling#but I still wanted to share it because I KEEP CRYING#i told my *therapist* about it and we had almost a whole session about bonds and what they mean in terms of support and pressure#I also posted the quote on Facebook last week for my birthday with no explanation and completely out of context#and it was so amazing to have people compliment me on it and ask if they could reuse it#those were the same people who told me that anime would make my brain rot 20 years ago so that's nice turntable and all#i really want to write something heartfelt about it but i'm just rambling and honestly the quote is self-sufficient#i guess i'll just have to find a way to get it tattooed somewhere on my back now because it feels like the only way for me to recover#“I get it now; if you have bonds no one will forget you.” “I won't forget you.”#Vrains quote#VRAINS FEELS#i can't wait for more post-canon in Duel Links#maybe beginning of 2025 if i calculated correctly?#hoping for Akira Zaizen and his Tindangle deck that I'll be happy to destroy with my Revolver deck#and i also have kilowords upon kilowords to write about EVERYTHING but i still need a bit more time#okay that's too many tags i'm done gonna cry a Nile and a half now bye#edit HEY I FIGURED OUT THE “READ MORE” THING I feel less afraid of spoiling now but seriously if you haven't watched Vrains yet stop readin
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Omg why did no one tell me about Ninjago????
I swear the fandom and this show have me in a chokehold!!!
I'm over here close to tears on the couch watching a show made for 7 years olds and hysterically yelling “Just let the child have his father!”
Like duuuude!!
I was obsessed with the movie when it came out, how in the world did I not know there was a whole 15 seasons of this??? And apparently an entire new series??? Huh????
Literally these past few months I have done nothing but unhing my jaw and Kirby slurp Ninjago content. (You fanfiction writers are amazing!! You guys have single handedly ruined my sleep schedule and have infested my mind!) My friends are so tired of hearing me talk about this dumb show, but my gosh I will not give this up until they join me!!
#ninjago#rant#its my hyper fixation and I WILL shove it down your throat!#what do you mean his name isn't lu-loyd????#I watched this so out of order XD#First the movie#Then dragons rising#Then you know maybe the original series is important#But then wait!! Shadows of Ronin ds game??? Omg yesss!! 100% that in like 20 hours XD#Oh and we can't forget about the Day of the Departed!! Bruh that Morro mini redemption was so cute!!#Like omg when he meets up with Wu and pops up around him like a little kid is adorable!!#And at the end he looks so happy with himself! Like broooo I need more screen time with him!!#Also shoutout to season 4 “Clearly you didn't wipe hard enough!!” Lives in my head rent free~
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I'm watching Star Trek: The Animated Series for the first time, and I'm only 52 seconds in, and I'm already smiling so much it hurts. It feels unreal to hear "new" (at least for me) content from the cast. I love star trek so much.
#star trek#I'm probably going to delete this later‚ but I just felt the need to post this right now#It's so overwhelming to hear their voices.#Like‚ I can easily turn on the TV and watch tos‚ but I've seen each episode at least 7 times‚ some more than 20#I always knew TAS existed but I was never able to watch it.#I'm honestly glad I'm watching it now rather than a few years ago because I don't think it would make me feel this happy
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hey do any of y'all know how saejima refers to daigo? i've dug through like 4 games worth of cutscenes and can't find it for the life of me </3
#aughh#it mighta been the vpn setting i was on but every single time i skipped around i got a couple ads... and every like <2 minutes of watching#i also got like 2 ads... it was actually nightmarish. picture me threatening my laptop in the dark over something stupid and that's what it#looked like. idk man. it was CONSTANT. i saw like 20+ ads over the course of maybe 30-40 minutes it was. kill kill kill hell kill blood kil#anyway i'm tryna figure out what it is right. daigo-chan isn't super ooc for him or anything but i also feel like he'd be more respectful#than majima and thus be more likely to use daigo-san or rokudaime or whatever. BUT I CAN'T TELL BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT#whatever. fuck my stupid baka life#rgg#dojima daigo#saejima taiga#sorry for putting these in the main tags but. i need help </3#i mean it's not that urgent but. whatever you get it
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Knitting is singlehandedly destroying my wrists, so I need to replace its role with another creative hobby. Please give me any suggestions you may have!
Requirements are:
-Can't destroy my wrists further, at least not as fast as knitting does
-Should be reasonably inexpensive and not too daunting to start
-Calming would be nice
-Textile arts are a plus :)
-Obscure is welcome
#please i know someone here knows some obscure creative thing that wont destroy my wrists#my problem is that i love knitting but i recognize that destroying my wrists at the ripe age of 22 isnt great#but i know that to stop doing knitting i need to replace it with something because knitting is a big thing for me#i knit in a lot of my free time bcuz if i want to watch something i need to do something else alongside#otherwise i cant concentrate#so ill watch a lot of Dimension 20. or rn im listening to an unknown armies actual play. or podcasts#i listened to almost all of tma while knitting#if i don't knit i won't really be able to focus on any of these things anymore which will make me want to push through and do it anyway#please lmk your ideas. i have two projects to finish that will probably be slow going#and then I'm probably going to have to more or less retire my needles#i just like being creative and making things too much
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barry keoghan bootcamp video diaries when
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