#I need to respond to messages augh

[roseofcards90]

I finally finished chapter 2 I can be free now 😭

[autism-corner]

maybe if i just ignore my problem it wont come back to bite me in the ass later =w=b

[patrice-bergerons]

My dearly beloved former mentor from Boston, who had long since left the firm and I'd only kept in occasional contact with, just texted to say that he is coming back in a part time contractor basis?? Holy shit we are living it like 2018

It really is 2018 redux over here in my life though, what between the hockey and the fact that I am once again knee deep in trying to understand and explain financial crisis era mortgage backed securities, just like I was in 2018 ☠️

[compassionatereminders]

hi kat! im not looking for advice or anything, just need to tell this to someone lol- so, i have this online friend, right? theyre pretty much my best friend in the world, and earlier today i sent them a message asking if theyd be my queer platonic partner and they havent responded yet (im fairly certain theyre at school rn) and im just. so nervous and i really hope theyll say yes and i just. augh i love them so muchhh

anyway- thanks for running this blog, youre amazing!!

Whether they want to or not, you're doing something good and brave by putting yourself out there, and even if they don't feel the same, it's a blessing and a compliment to be loved. I'm sure they'll recognize that

[sergeantsporks]

Aroace Hunter Week 2023 Day 6: Squish

“What’s a good username? Should I make one that Uncle won’t think to look for? Wait, that’s bad, right? Right, I should just put my name, or the golden guard. It’s not like I’m hiding the Penstagram. Darius said it would be good, and he’s a coven head, so he wouldn’t… tell me to do something treasonous… right? But he did say he wouldn’t tell Belos about you, and he knows I’m not supposed to have—but other coven heads have Penstagrams and it’s fine. It’s fine, you know what, it’s fine. I’ll just… do something I’m interested in. Would putting ‘flyer derby’ be too desperate to them? Oh, I’ve got it.”

Rulersreachfan.

The Penstagram scroll flashed an error message at Hunter.

This username is already taken.

“Ah, okay… uh…

Rulerzreachfan.

“Because z is close to an s. It’ll work this time.”

This username is already taken.

“Seriously?”

“Maybe different?” Flapjack suggested.

“One more try.”

Rulerzreachf4n.

“Because four looks like an a! Clever, right?”

Please create profile picture.

“How much set up does this need? I just want to…”

Hunter held the phone out at arm’s length, pressing the photo button.

“Okay, okay, here we go. What was the username again? H. E. L. L. O. Underscore, where’s the u—oh, there it is. W. I. L. L. O. W.” Willow’s profile showed up, complete with a photo of the team as her first post. “Okay! Here we go!”

Hunter hit the follow button.

Request sent.

“Mmmm, what if she doesn’t want me to follow her? I mean. I did. Kidnap the entire team. Hngh, let’s try someone else, let’s dooooo…” He clicked on the post, looking at the ‘tagged’ usernames. “Uh… ThorneyVines, that’s gotta be Viney, right? Follow. Maybe I should leave a comment? I should leave a comme—”

The scroll buzzed in his hands, and he threw it across the room. “Ah!”

Flapjack fluttered over, pecking at the scroll. “Is dead. Won’t hurt.”

Hunter wandered over and picked the scroll back up.

1 new message from Hello_Willow.

Hunter’s fingers hovered over the little notification without actually hitting it. “What if it’s her telling me to leave them alone? I mean, I thought that she kind of implied that maybe it would be okay if we saw each other again, but what if I read that wrong? What if she hates me? What if all of them hate me? I wouldn’t blame them.”

Hunter groaned, burying his head in his arms. “I’m going to fail at friendship. I’ve taken too long to respond, I should have paid attention immediately. It’s over.”

Flapjack hopped over and slammed his foot onto the message box. “There.”

“AUGH!” Hunter scooped the scroll up so fast he nearly dropped it. “What’s it say?”

Hi.

Hunter jumped up, pacing around. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh she doesn’t hate me. Good. Excellent. Wonderful. Do I ask if anyone else hates me?”

“No.”

“That was very decisive.”

“Don’t.”

“Alright, alright. What do I…” Hunter set the scroll down with a sigh. “There’s no point.”

“What?!”

Hunter picked his mask up off of his desk, turning it over and over in his hands. “There’s no point,” he replied, “To answering, to talking to her or any of them. I don’t know why I even bothered making the Penstagram. It’s like Willow said; my next day off isn’t for another fifty-two weeks. And I certainly can’t bail on missions to—to play flyer derby!”

“Want friends?”

Hunter set the mask back down. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t have them.”

“Want friends?”

“I’m head of a coven, I’m the golden guard. Having friends puts them in danger, and it puts me in danger, and it puts the emperor in danger!”

“Hunter. Want friends?”

Hunter tugged his hood over his head, face burning. “I do.”

We’re number one!

“I can’t.”

But I do.

He wanted to go back so badly it almost hurt. There hadn’t been any backstabbing or judgement for being half a witch. Just open skies and flyer derby and the team.

I want to go back

I want to be friends

I want to start over, and this time I’ll do everything right, and they’ll want to be around me.

Just like they did before I ruined it.

I want to be their friend.

“Respond. Start.”

“What’s the point?!”

“Want to be friends. Nothing else.”

“I can’t.”

“Try.”

“What if I fail?”

“Try.”

“I already messed up with them, if I fail again, it’s over.”

“Try.”

Hunter took a deep breath, picking up the scroll.

H. E. L. L. O.

Hello, Willow.

[thalfbloodloser]

That was a lot more than I anticipated, but I welcome it! It's all very fascinating and I am in agreement about a lot of it, especially about how it's remarkably in line with their characters to do what is socially understood to be a Taboo... but what does one more taboo violation matter for the Ivory household anyways?

What I find *really* interesting is that you see ivorycest as the perfect expression of their inhumanity, whereas I see it as the closest to true humanity that they'd ever come to be. Of course, any guilt (from Luther's part, not Randal lol) would stem from not being a proper "human" rather than any genuine concern for the ethical ramifications, very shallow in comparison... Moral quandaries are not huge concern for them. It's more along the lines of them choosing to willfully dirty something core to their adopted humanity, which only reads as more human... Or something like that.

Your interpretation is so fun though, it has to be the single most true to Ranfren analysis that I've seen from this fandom period, a true acknowledgement and acceptance of how fucking freaky and inhuman those two are! The idea of them just playing pretend is so delightfully novel to me, it adds such a lovely layer of spice :^) I will have to think on this for a while... Thank you!

I'm sorry. I wish I could write more and respond in kind to how you've spoiled me, but every paragraph I read makes me have to step away for a few minutes so I can digest it in peace and calm my nerves. The introspection into their intimate lives, intimacy beyond traditional human sex, made me freak out for 20 minutes alone. Just know I will treasure that response dearly, I am very, very grateful!

✦ anon, your mind....

"[...] i see it as the closest to humanity as they'd ever come to be" // "it's more along the lines of them choosing to willfully dirty something core to their adopted humanity, which only reads as more human"

AUGH- what a delightful interpretation! it's almost the polar opposite of mine, and yet i love it just as much - if not more. there's something so beautiful about searching for humanity and only coming close to it by defiling its very concept/rules...

isn't going against "human nature" - family, ethics, moral - the most human thing of all? isn't the very search for humanity and its meaning what makes us human? perhaps, on their crusade, our two 'tin men' do not yet realize they already have hearts ✦

...much to think about. thank you, once again, for indulging me and for your kindness! there's no need to apologize, i get it - you should see me reading a book; one paragraph = one walk around the house - and i'll treasure your response just as much!

if you ever feel like chatting, about ranfren or anything else, feel free to message me 🐌🧡

[breezy-cheezy]

I just want to say it's been delightful watching you get into One Piece. It's been one of my main fandoms for years, but most of the people I was following who posted about it moved on to other things and I didn't have the energy to try to find new ones, so my dash has been pretty empty of it and I mostly just kept up with the anime/manga and not much else. Your enthusiasm for it, and all the art you've been posting and reblogging, has been a highlight of my days. I have a One Piece fanfic I've been trying to finish for years, and I've felt more like writing it in the past week or so than I have in a very long time (haven't actually managed it yet, but maybe soon, I hope). I'm glad you're having fun, and I can't wait to see you get farther in the series. <3

And *I* just wanna say how touching this message is!! 🥺 Thank you for sending this, I’ve been putting off responding because I was hoarding it like a dragon HAHA

I’m glad you’re enjoying the sudden OP onslaught! Part of me always worries, but it IS my blog and I enjoy slapping a bunch of funny pirates on my metaphorical fridge, glad you’re getting a kick out of it too! Perks of a media about as old as me too is that there’s sooooo much content to dig through, it’s very fun! Even if I suck at avoiding spoilers LOL (I will at least try to shield my buddy from spoilers as she also works her way through the manga at her own pace XD)

I hear ya on struggling to finish a fic for so long…for me, with new fandom comes new ideas and we’ll see if I can actually finish these, lmao. I’m glad to hear you’re inspired again! What’s the fic about, out of curiosity? 👀 If you feel like sharing that is!

Thank you, it’s been a VERY fun read, and I hope to watch some parts in the anime later! For now tho manga is easiest for me to consume, and the art is just really nice?? 1000+ chapters used to be so intimidating but now I find it’s hard to put the thing down X’’’’D One Piece good, found family got me good! I’ll be a bit more detailed under the cut real fast (I’ve been yelling at another friend on discord with regular manga updates but I will say this)

Isa don’t open the read more :> :

I just finished Thriller Bark arc and ooooooh boy that was a Time. Zoro you are insane *sobbing* HOW IS HE EVEN ALIVE

Usopp getting to use his anxiety/depression/negative thoughts as a strength against Perona was. SO funny yet SO vindicating, I love himmmmm-

Also the stuff with Brook is one of the things I feel I need to watch the anime on because!!! Music!!! That’s difficult to translate through manga, as pretty as the art is. Same for Chopper’s send off from Drum Island, I wanna see the pretty pink Sakura Blossoms!!!! But yea Brook made me cry. I remember really hoping Laboon would pop up again and BOY HOWDY let the skeleton see his baby whale again I beg….

I just hit the Sabody arc too and spotted Law for the first time! I already know his backstory (oops I’m nosey) and WOW HE’S A LITTLE SH*T HAHAHA funny greasy lookin man good to see ya X’’’D I also love Camie!! Kinda refreshing to see a female character getting to finally make the same (if not even MORE) whacky faces like the boys do hhdfhgjkdf you’re doing great sweetieeeee 😂 (also good to see Hachi again!!)

Also the intro to Celestial Dragons and slave trade is so. Man. This is VILE. The extent of horrors the Government will look away from because they’re Celestial Dragons doing the horrors. AUGH. Gross. The situation is revealed in a really neat way too, very engaging. Sooooo satisfying watching Luffy full on punch one CD in the face tho, BLESS. Love that funky lil dude. He really doesn’t care who you are, he can and WILL punch you if friends are threatened.

ALSO I do see Ace’s execution being set up in the bg. I know in a general sense what….happens to him. I don’t like it, let him out 😭

BUT YEA I’M HAVING ALOT OF FUN THANK YOU!!!!

[killing-machine]

Hi!!! Im here again!! Yippee!! Im also hyper<3 So with that being saaaiiid YOURE REALLY FUCKING COOL!!! Like really cool its almost on nuclear levels. AND YOURE ART IS SO AMAZING!!! You just post these little arts you do and expect me Not to go feral over them?? Youre literally so cool and an absolute vibe and i get happy every time i see your posts so there!!

I hope you have a great day! Remember to eat, rest, hydrate, and stretch!! Stretching is very much needed!! Again youre awesome and i hope the world treats you with love and care!!

holy shit thank you, im really bad at words and responding to compliments but augh thank you so much

wishing you the genuine best, thanks for all the nice messages you keep sending me

[insanetwocubes]

Okay so. I guess I'll elaborate. I feel frustrated a lot. Because. When I use my intelligence. Especially around other people. I feel bad. Because I don't want the trauma to reoccur. That sounds like it makes sense, i think. I get scared. Ow. This is painful. I feel bad about being scared because this is supposed to be a good thing. Okay lemme sit through the fear for a bit.

Us Cubes know how to neurohack lol.

So what are some things about trauma? It makes you live in the past. It convinces you that the thing will happen again and that it's your fault for it happening and that you deserved it. It also makes you really really really scared.

So uhm. I guess it's not my fault what happened to me.

....

...

...

I guess? I mean.

...

...

...

What even "happened to me"? Augh.

It's not my fault? I mean I had to have been in some sort of control. I guess I wasn't. So what? Should I feel angry?

I don't know.

It makes me feel angry about how I can't lyke... how my intelligence lyke.... y'know.

I'm not really even scared. But it's lyke.... something is going on. Like. I don't know.

"If I'm so smart, why can't I figure this out on my own" is what I'm thinking. All the time. If I'm so continuously smart.

I feel so stupid for all the mistakes I make when I don't pay attention.

I feel so stupid when making mistakes. And not being perfect. Everyone sees me as so perfect, so pretty.

But I don't like it.

How does she know I'm actually a good person? I don't think I've ever been a good person. I've never actually cared about them. I don't know how to be genuinely good and kind.

If I'm so perfect why is everyone taking advantage of it but me?

Wow okay this feels bad. Where did I get stumped. Oh yeah, was it my fault?

Does it even matter?

I mean. I didn't even know a quarter of the things I know now. So I guess. I guess it's not my fault. I was only guided by everyone around me.

But that's not it. The problem isn't solved. It makes me feel better but it isn't solved.

Because.... I'm still scared. But. Now I know I can get more information about the situation. I can be less swayed by people's emotions.

I can read people's minds y'know. But I don't have the ability to react to them accordingly. It's kind of like receiving messages, and not being able to respond.

I mean I can't believe that that's what needed to be said, what, that it's not my fault? It never really was. But I guess I thought it was. I don't need to be scared either. Uhm what'sthe other one? That I'm stuck? I'm not. Not really. I have the power to change things. Omg someone is crying. Kinda feels like So. You're okay, So, it's not your fault.

Alright leme post this before tumblr crashes on me lmfao

[smallblueandloud]

lol and now i'm just using it exclusively to be able to see my own posts at a glance (because it's such a pain to have to click two buttons just to be able to reblog a talky post)

today i have Dopamine and Free Time so i am going to attempt to work through my messages backlog. even though it is. scary. i have already done tumblr. next step is discord. then:

facebook messenger (surprise! i did this one while trying to figure out how many unreads i had lmfao)

imessage (one of my most beloved friends asking for a life update and my aunt asking the same. probably the easiest on this list)

whatsapp (my beloved beloved best friend and also a google photos album i have to update. i should do this early probably so it has a chance to buffer.)

email (augh.)

instagram (i have been ghosting a high school friend for weeks now. i need to. deal with that probably)

i should also: fill out a form i have to fill out and set up a time to call with a child who i'm working with (ball's in her court, we'll see when she responds). and then after being so brave to do all of those things i will be DONE and FREE!

edit: i love how i was pretending that instagram was going to be the hardest thing on this list. it took 5 minutes. (also it turns out replying to my aunt is going to be one of the HARDEST things, in fact!!)

edit 2: okay now it's just my aunt and my email left. let's see which one i'll avoid harder (it's probably going to be my aunt).

hehe guess who has access to tumblr patio 😎

[athenasilver7]

🍒🍋Got the idea from @faustian-familiar, check out their version here.🍋🍒

The Arcana Main 6 hinting that they want some lemon time x GN Reader

(Mentions of NSFW)

🧡 Portia 🧡

“Ohhh, Y/N~”

She’ll look at you seductively while striking a dramatic pose on the couch, back arched and one leg outstretched.

“Yes, Portia?” “I need something from you.” She bites her lip in anticipation.

The woman can hardly contain her giddiness and excitement.

“Oh, with what? Do you want me to get you somethi- AUGH!”

Portia will pull you onto the couch with her, pressing her chest against yours.

“All I need right now is you~”

Blushing and lip bites intensify.

💛 Lucio 💛

He’ll do more touching than usual.

More inappropriate touching than usual.

“Lucio!” “Oopsie. My hand slipped.”

Don’t even bother trying to lecture him, he’ll just enjoy it and bite his lip the whole time.

He’ll let out a groan, “You’re so hot when you raise your voice at me, Y/N.”

There is something wrong with this man.

Before you can tell him to cut it out, his lips are hungrily on yours.

Everything about his actions were telling you that he’s absolutely desperate for you.

When he pulls away for air, all he can manage to pant out is, “Y/N....please.”

💜 Nadia 💜

It starts off with her making you try on several different outfits.

You didn’t think much of it until the outfits started to expose more and more skin.

Nadia will hold up what looks like a few pieces of fabric, “Now then, how about this one? The colours will match you perfectly.”

You stare at the article of clothing in disbelief, “It looks like it’ll just fall off once I put it on.”

“Yes. That is the point.” She’s not even making an effort to mask her hungry gaze, “Or are you perhaps too embarrassed?”

She’ll lift a finger, signalling you to go over to her and sit on her lap.

When you do, she squeezes your hips firmly.

She’ll then glide her hands up your sides to grab the back of your head, and bring your ear closer to her lips for her whisper, “You are always so obedient for me.”

💚 Muriel 💚

Muriel will stare at you most of the day.

You can’t tell if he’s admiring you or judging you, but little do you know, he is completely fantasizing about you.

He keeps thinking what he’ll do once he tells you he wants some...intimate time with you.

How much should he tease you? What position should you both try this time? Should he try leaving a hickey for once?

“Muriel? What’s got you so deep in thought?”

Gazing at the wall, he subconsciously answered, “You.”

“O-oh.”

Muriel still seemed lost in thought.

Then out of nowhere, he picks you up and carries you to the bed, placing several loving kisses all over your face.

With a grin, he says, “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

💖 Asra 💖

“Y/NNNN, wanna cuddle?” “Sure!”

Now you’re trapped, he’s got you right where he wants you.

It’ll start off nice and innocent. A few kisses here, some light touches there. Just slowly hinting at it and waiting for you to notice and respond.

But even Asra gets impatient.

He’s been waiting absolute years for you to recognize his love for you.

You’re surprised when he begins to blush and avert his gaze.

“Asra? Are you alright?”

He seems embarrassed that you noticed his shift in behaviour, even though it was fairly obvious.

“!!!!...Better than alright. It’s just...I love you.”

He’ll lean in closer, cupping your cheek with a desperate look in his eyes, “I love you so much.”

❤️ Julian ❤️

The definition of ‘Haha JKJK...unless?’

It may seem like he’s just messing around with you, but you never fail to notice any messages that he’s actually trying to get across.

“Ohoho! Imagine if you pinned me against this wall and really put me in my place right now!” “Riiiiight.”

You often ignore his antics just to watch him squirm for a few hours.

“You doing okay, Julian? You seem pretty shifty right now.” You’ll ask, feigning innocence.

He’ll awkwardly clear his throat, gaze shifting everywhere around the room, “Er..um, P-perfectly fine, my dear! What reason would I have for not being okay?”

“Hmm.” You make your way over to where he is, placing a hand on either side of him, “I think I’ve been teasing you long enough.”

[myfandomchangesalot]

Am I Dreaming - Chapter Two

Introduction, Chapter 1

Chapter Two

I woke up the next morning to a killer headache and a weird warmness around me. At first I thought it was my cats cuddling me, but then memories of last night came rushing back. My eyes shot open and I jumped out of bed as best as I could considering I was tangled up in the sheets and with Nik. To say the least I ended up falling on my ass. In all of my commotion Nik woke up. He looked at me like I had two heads.

"What are you doing?"

I snapped up to look at him and responded "I am inspecting the carpet. I need to redo my room and I like how this one looks and feels."

He chuckled at me and closed his eyes again. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to find my clothes, but in the adventure that was light night they ended up getting ruined. I found Nik's shirt and boxers. I wished it was like the movies where the shirt was so big for me it looked like a dress, but on me it was just a basic shirt. I walked out of his room to try to sneak out, but luck is never on my side and I ran into the blonde from last night.

"Sneaking out on my brother I see."

"No, I was just going to make some breakfast." I really needed to stop lying to people.

She chuckled at me. "Don't worry I won't let the big bad wolf get you. Here let me get you some clothes and you can be on your way."

"Thank you so much..." I paused because I didn't know her name.

"Rebekah, now come"

Rebekah let me borrow some leggings since her other pants probably wouldn't fit and I kept Nik's shirt on.

"Thank you so much Rebekah, but I have to get back to my hotel or I will miss my flight."

"Not a problem at all. I do hope we see each other again V."

"How'd you know my name?"

"Please with how loud you were last night I think the whole hotel knows you and my brother's names."

I blushed and ran away. What a crazy night! I really did not expect that to happen. I got an Uber back to my hotel, and started packing all of my stuff. I realized my phone was still on do not disturb and turned it off. I started getting texts from Matt. He was worried since I hadn't checked in and he wanted to make sure I was ok.

I texted him back 'hey sorry I turned off my phone and forgot to turn it on. I am alive and well. About to leave for my plane.' As I sent the message a wave of guilt rushed through me, because I should not have done what I did, but I can't change the past now.

I finished getting ready and took the L to the O'Hare Airport. The plane ride was only a little over two hours, because I got a straight flight. I decided to watch the season finale of Hawkeye and Dickinson to occupy my time. People say I look like the actress who plays Yelena, but I only wish I could look like her. I admit our features are similar, but I am plus size whereas she is not. I would give anything to be her size. I don't even know how I managed to get Nik to sleep with me last night. I feel like most people think my curves are too much and my stomach is too big, but he didn't seem to mind. Augh I need to stop thinking about him. After watching the tv shows I decided to read a werewolf book on Wattpad. I love the idea of soulmates and wished that I could find mine and have him, her or them take me away from Mystic Falls. Eventually I landed and Matt was waiting for me.

"Hello beautiful, how was your trip?"

"Hi Matty, it was really good! I am so excited to go to DePaul next year!"

He smiled at that, but I could tell it wasn't an honest smile. "I'm glad you had a good time. Now let's get you home to rest up before prank night tonight."

"Augh do we have to go? I just got back, can't we stay in and spend time before the chaos starts?"

"Sorry babe but Caroline and Elena are counting on us helping, and we can hangout all this week after football practice."

"Fine, but you owe me! Caroline and Elena don't even like me. They only invite me, so you actually come." Matt didn't have a reply to that, so we just climbed in his truck and headed home. The ride was about 45 minutes of us singing songs and joking around. Until he had to put a damper on my mood.

"Where did you get that shirt? I haven't seen it before and usually you don't where henleys"

"Oh I borrowed it from one of my new friends' boyfriend. I think I mentioned them, Sarah and Steve? Yeah I stayed at her apartment last night and she gave me one of her boyfriend, Steve's shirts since hers wouldn't fit me." I knew bringing up my size would get him to back off.

"V you know I think you are beautiful no matter what size you are. You aren't even that big! You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone, especially not Caroline or Elena. I love you just the way you are."

"Thanks Matty. Love you too."

After that I turned up the music. Augh why did he always have to bring up Caroline and Elena, I don't even compare myself to them. Why would I want to be the whiny brunette that cries at every inconvenience or the skinny blonde who doesn't have any real friends, when I can be me a talented actress who is getting the fuck out of Virginia. I might be insecure about my size, but it certainly doesn't help when people say 'you aren't even THAT big" wtf does that even mean? Sorry I am going off on a tangent.

For the rest of the ride we sang songs. Once we got to my house I gave Matt a quick kiss and headed to bed. I was ready to sleep the next five years away, but I knew Matt would be back in only a few hours so we could go help with prank night. WOO HOO - please note the sarcasm. In reality I should've been more excited because my life was about to change. For the better? I don't know.

____________________________________ Word Count - 1,119

That's chapter two! Prank night is next! I am basing Veronica's insecurities with weight on my own experience, but I am working on getting more confident and hopefully writing this book helps me too!

Next Part

[autism-corner]

....

[p-artsypants]

The Ghost of Smokey Joe (5)

Nightmare

No lyrics in this chapter, because the song in the title has no words. But it really embodies everything I wanted to say with the chapter.

Also, ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN CHOO CHOOOOOO

Ao3 | FF.net

—

“Do you have those drafts ready for the meeting?” Asked Marinette, peering into her co-worker’s office, a very peppy woman named Jill. 

“Of course! I’ve gotten them matted, just like you asked. 10, right?” 

“Yes! Thank God someone is doing their job right today.” 

“Oh, Marinette, where are your shoes?” 

Marinette looked down to her bare feet. “Oh, I wore pumps that are great for working at my desk and walking to the water cooler, but they got kicked off somewhere around 9 this morning.” 

“That bad, huh?” 

“Have you seen Tim? He’s fixing the sizing sheet and I can’t find him anywhere!” 

“Did you try his office?” 

Marinette’s jaw dropped. “Tim has an office?! Since when?” 

“Since always? Are you okay? You look like you could use a nap…or at least a cup of coffee.” 

Marinette groaned. “No naps! No more coffee! My heart is just a hum now anyway! I haven’t been able to sleep the last few days and last night I didn’t sleep at all. I got this weird phone call—“ she stopped herself before she said too much. “Anyway, yes, Tim does have an office. I forgot.” 

“And he’s always so good at emails, you never need to talk to him. I know. We had this same conversation last week.” 

Marinette groaned again as she covered her face in shame. “Why is Mr. Agreste doing this to me?” 

“Speaking of Mr. Agreste, have you gotten any answers from him today? I’ve sent three emails and he’s not responding at all. Apparently Tim’s having the same problem with Adrien.” 

“I haven’t heard a thing from the manor. Not Gabriel, not Adrien, not even Nathalie. We’re supposed to have a meeting at 2, but I haven’t heard if that’s still on.” 

“Doesn’t Adrien usually come into the office on meeting days?” 

“He did…I don’t know what's up with him. He was being super cagey with me yesterday when I went to talk to him.” She sighed, hunching her shoulders. “I’m worried.” She didn’t disclose the truth of the conversation, that Adrien had effectively ended their friendship. It was too painful, but too fresh to ignore. 

“I’ve been working here since Emilie was still around. Gabriel went through a huge personality shift when she disappeared. Maybe Adrien takes after his dad? Maybe something happened?” 

“Ugh, don’t talk like that, I’ll just worry more!” An alert beeped from her phone, letting her know she had an email. “Ah! An intern’s job is never done! See you later!” 

“Good luck, Marinette!” Jill called. After she left, she added, “you’re going to need it.” 

At two o’clock, the department heads and designers all came together in the conference room. Marinette set up her laptop to the screen and had the presentation open, as well as the Skype call to Gabriel. 

He had yet to join the session, but it was still a few minutes before the meeting officially began. 

“I see you’re wearing shoes now,” said Jill. 

“I don’t know if I could handle the ridicule from Mr. Agreste if he saw me bare foot in the conference room.” Marinette chuckled weakly. 

“As if Gabriel would ever reprimand you,” said someone else. “He adores you.” 

“That must be why he took a vacation and told no one,” she laughed again. Was her filter fading with all this sleep deprivation? Probably. 

Finally, the call started, but Nathalie took the helm instead. 

Before questions could be asked, she announced, “I’m afraid this meeting must be postponed.” No ‘hello’, no ‘thank you for your patience and hard work’. It was enough to make Marinette snap in all of her exhaustion and emotional turmoil. 

“Nathalie, with all due respect, everyone is here and ready to go. Why isn’t Gabriel ready?” She huffed. 

Nathalie glanced away from the camera, a tell that she was about to deliver a great blow. “Mr. Agreste is deceased.” 

The room went silent. Someone dropped a pen. 

Marinette fell into a chair, feeling like the ground was shaking under her. 

“Early this morning, both Gabriel and Adrien passed away. A joint visitation and funeral will be held at the manor on Friday evening and Saturday morning, respectively. Everyone is invited, but it’s not mandatory, of course.” 

Marinette couldn’t swallow the lump in her throat; it was so thick. 

“The fall line will not be released this season. Two weeks paid vacation will be passed on as we prepare the new head designer to take Gabriel’s place.” 

Someone asked, “Who is the new designer?” 

Most heads looked to Marinette, knowing the answer. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng has been determined to be the new head designer.” 

She sputtered out of her shock. “What? Me?! No! Surely not! I’m just an intern!” 

“Intern to the head designer,” someone clarified. “We all knew you were going to be hired as his assistant soon. It was obvious.” 

“But—but—“ she stammered. It was rather obvious, thinking about it. Gabriel was just waiting for her to secure that college degree to make it official. “I can’t! I just—“ Without any preamble, tears burst forth and rolled down her face. 

Adrien was gone. 

Her best friend. The love of her life. Without a goodbye, and on such horrible terms. 

Screw the responsibilities, the job title didn’t matter. She didn’t care at all.

Several arms wrapped around her, her coworkers, her friends, comforting as best as they could. 

“No one is expecting you to jump right in,” Nathalie explained. “You were quite close to both of them.” 

“What about you?” Marinette rasped out. 

“I had my moment earlier. I’m in business mode now. If anyone would like more details, please reach me privately.” 

And she left. Like a whirlwind, leaving destruction in her path. 

“Can you get home on your own?” Someone asked Marinette. 

She thought she confirmed affirmative, but someone led her from the room with an arm around the shoulder. Maybe it was Tim. She didn’t really know. She didn’t really care. 

When she arrived home, she dropped her purse on the floor. Where were her other bags? At the office? Oh well, didn’t matter now. 

Nothing mattered anymore.

“Girl, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Alya and Nino were home, they were here and alive, and they didn’t know. 

They didn’t know and she had to tell them. 

“He’s gone,” She whispered.

“Who?” Asked Alya, resting a comforting hand on her arm. 

“Adrien…he—he’s dead.” 

“…what?” Nino squeaked out. “H-how? Why?” 

“I don’t know…he and Gabriel—“ she stopped and flexed her hand. Her phone was still in her hand. It held answers. 

She called Nathalie on video. 

“Hello Marinette. I’m glad to see you made it home safe. I was worried.” 

“What happened?” She blurted. “Nino and Alya know that he died. What happened?” Because there had to be a reasonable explanation. 

Nathalie’s face morphed from serious business to pain and pity. “Are you sure you want to know?” 

God, with a preamble like that, it couldn’t be good. Not painless like Carbon monoxide poisoning in their sleep, and not instant like a car accident. 

“Please Nathalie, I have to know.” 

She breathed shakily and admitted, “it was a murder-suicide, as enacted by Adrien. He first stabbed Gabriel, and then himself.” 

“Augh!” Marinette sobbed out. It was an ugly sound that couldn’t be controlled or silenced. 

“I’m sorry. I wish I could lie…but I can’t. Adrien had been acting strange lately…I think Gabriel knew this was going to happen.” 

“No! You’re lying!” Marinette yelled. “Adrien loved his father! He would never—he’s not like that!” 

“Marinette, I saw them. Adrien was obviously deeply disturbed.” 

“SHUT UP!!” She ended the call and dropped the phone on the floor. 

Then she looked to her friends, who were both bawling like her. Nino moved first and pulled her into a tight hug. Alya came around the other side, crushing her in a Marinette-sandwich. 

“You’re right, he wouldn’t do that.” Alya offered. “But they’re both gone, so we can’t prove anything.” 

“If Nathalie didn’t tell the office, then the truth might never come out,” Said Nino, nodding in reassurance. “Only the four of us will have any idea.” 

After a long time, numbness started to set in. There was a degree of disbelief in her still, where she may have heard it, but she didn’t see it. 

That left room for doubt. 

Without a word, she took her phone from the floor and wandered back to her room. 

After the door closed, Tikki appeared. “Marinette…” 

But she wasn’t listening. She was staring at her phone screen, like she was trying to solve a puzzle. 

Then she started a call. 

It rang and rang and rang and rang…

“Hey there, it’s Adrien, I’m not available to answer right now. But leave me a message or shoot me a text, and I’ll get back to you. Hope you have a great day!” 

The phone beeped. 

“Adrien,” she sobbed. “Adrien I know—goddamnit this sucks. I’m too late. I love you so much, and I’m too late. I wish I told you sooner. Even last night when you called—I’m sorry I didn’t know you were struggling. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to help you. I loved you so much and I couldn’t save you and I’m so sorry…” 

“Marinette…” Tikki tried to tell her to stop. 

“This is the closest I could get to telling you. And you’ll never hear it and—“ 

The phone beeped again, signaling the end of the recording. 

She saved it, and set the phone down. 

“Marinette…” 

“What is it, Tikki? What’s so important?” 

“I have to tell you something…but it’s really really bad.” 

“Well, hit me with it. Today is literally the worst day of my life.” 

“Adrien…well, he was Chat Noir.” 

As if the day couldn’t get any worse. 

“What?” 

“Chat Noir. He was Adrien.” 

“But—but he can’t be. You must be confused.” 

“Marinette, he literally wore the earrings before.” 

“I KNOW!” She screamed. “But you have to tell me he's someone else! Because I can’t lose both of them! I can’t do it Tikki!” 

“I know it hurts. You two were literally soul mates. The Ladybug and Black Cat always are.” 

“You’re not helping!” She sobbed. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

Tikki allowed Marinette to sob for a while, letting her anguish spill out of her. Tikki just kept watch for the Akuma that never came. 

“You know what you have to do next, right?” Asked Tikki. 

“What?” 

She sighed. “You have to go to the visitation and take back the ring.” 

“I can’t do that!” Marinette cried, horrified. “I can’t! There’s no way!” 

“We’ll he can’t be buried with it. You have to, Marinette.” 

Marinette crawled into bed, still fully clothed and wept and wept and wept until her tears burned her cheeks and exhaustion took hold.

--

All the chapter titles are songs from my spooky halloween playlist that inspired this fic (and their lyrics will be in the chapters)! You can find that playlist here. The playlist will be updated as the fic goes on.

[assclass-stories]

Henlo! You probs know me as handy dandy headcanons XD butttttt is it okay to request some HazamaxTerasaka? I know it’s a bit rare but I love the ship! Maybe a bit of angst and fluff if that’s okay too! Thanks!! Love your blog <3

Ooo, no one's requested this pair before *squee*

---

"So...that's it?"

Kirara turned around to blatantly stare at Terasaka. "Yes."

High school wasn't meant to end like this, apparently. Middle school wasn't supposed to end like this either, and it hadn't. Terasaka had made sure of that. But he had only postponed the inevitable.

"You're looking at me like I'm postponing the inevitable."

"No." She said, rather pointedly. She turned back around to look away from Terasaka and out her bedroom window instead. The moon wasn't full (it hadn't been for a long time, of course), but Kirara still wished it was. She hadn't seen a full moon in...years?

Terasaka shifted in the cheap foldout chair behind her. He seemed determined not to stand up and leave, despite the fact that everyone else had gone, and they may as well have left for good. Itona, Yoshida, Muramatsu. All gone home, ready to go home. Kirara was ready to go home, too, metaphorically. But Terasaka clearly was not.

She turned around and leaned on her windowsill, facing him. She believed herself to be the most elegant this way, her bony frame set against the cool, dark wood, her fritzy, ebony hair highlighted in the crescent moonlight. She eyed him carefully. “You should go home. It’s late.”

“You’ve never had an issue staying up late with me.” He said flatly. His entire body was still; he clearly had no intention of moving up from the chair.

Kirara responded with an even slice. “It’s been a long day for all of us. That’s why you should leave.” It wasn’t a lie - they all had just graduated from high school earlier that day. The ceremony had been drawn out and exhausting. But it was the end. The end of here. Their lives here.

“Longer than in middle school? Training all day meant long days...” He shrugged. “All five of us were up late, always.”

“Terasaka.”

At her tone, his eyebrows furrowed irritably. “What?” He stood up now, struggling a little from the sag of the foldout chair. “You kicking me out?”

“Yes.” She sighed out, her patience thinning. “I am. Quit pouting about it.” She knew, however, what the message was underneath his words.

Are you kicking me out of your life, too?

Terasaka, even though he would never have admitted it, really appreciated the dynamic that his middle school clique had provided. Especially with the addition of Itona - it had always felt like a true and proper gang. The five of them stuck to each other a lot, especially during the last few months of assassination. Kirara had to admit, of course, that she had appreciated it too. It had been nice to feel wanted, to be a part of such an eclectic group. She had always felt like the beast-master in her little quintet, driving the circus. A necessary cog in the machine. But now?

Now, it was high school - past high school, really, considering they had just graduated that day. The five of them were all pursuing different things - Itona, Yoshida, and Muramatsu all at least were studying business together, taking over their families’ respected enterprises, but she and Terasaka were a different case - completely at odds, committed to riding life in different directions.

It was certainly strange for the two of them. They had been circling each other for years, tension in their relationship had been inevitable. They had butt heads more times than Kirara could count. Even through that, sometimes they had gotten closer because of those times. But she had always been able to look past it. She was his friend, and he had always been someone she never minded looking after. And having thought about a new field of that relationship more than once, she could safely say that she was fine not pursuing it.

But as she gazed at him now, with his hands in loose fists and his face slightly pink with embarrassment, Kirara knew that he wasn’t fine it leaving this to rest. Not just her - their friendship, his friendship with the others. None of it.

“What are you afraid of, Terasaka?” She murmured, fixing him with a stare that she hoped he wouldn’t try to escape from.

Terasaka held a brief face that looked caught in the headlights, but then he toned it down to a frown. “Nothing.” He muttered, turning away from her and suddenly becoming interested in her bookshelf- rather ornate as it was, it had hardly caught his interest before. Kirara rolled her eyes, deciding to just get to the point. This was taking too long.

“If this is about you feeling lonely, I’m too tired to deal with it right now. Just go home.”

Terasaka snapped his head back, fixing her with an angry stare. “I’m not lonely, idiot! I just...” His words edged off. He wasn’t at a loss, he was hesitant. “I really don’t want to leave it here.”

Kirara sighed. “Leave what? This group? High school?”

“You know what! Us!”

Kirara was caught mildly by surprise, stepping forward to stop leaning on the windowsill. “Us? The two of us?”

“Yes.” He seethed out. “Me and you. I-” He bit his lip. Kirara hadn’t noticed until now how flushed his face was. “I don’t know...I always felt we should’ve been closer.”

In the back of her mind, Kirara thought she knew what he was hinting at, but she shoved that idea back down. “We’ve been good friends for years.” She muttered.

“Good friends? Is that it?” Terasaka furrowed his eyebrows, looking more confused than upset, and he seemed to retreat back into his own head. “Even after all that? Back in middle school...with the octopus...”

Kirara tilted her head, speaking in a more gentle tone. “I understand, Terasaka. Honestly, we...” She glanced off to the side. “That year put us through more than any group of friends would have normally gone through in their last year of middle school. It brought the entire class closer together.”

“I thought it would’ve brought the two of us closer together too.”

Something about the way he said it brought a sharp flash to Kirara’s mind. All of the thoughts she had been dancing around jumped to the surface, and she stared at him, eyes wide. “You mean-”

“All this time.” Terasaka grit out. “I’ve always liked you.”

Time froze. Kirara’s memory spun back, through pages and pages of memories. Memories of pranks, of studying, memories of fights, of heart-to heart talks, of assassination. The album of reminisce screeched to a halt when she remembered Valentine’s Day, that year. She had given them Valentine’s Day chocolates- all 4 of them; Itona, Yoshida, Muramatsu- but all she had been wanting was for Terasaka to accept them graciously. Because she had liked him then. Yes, this- this bonehead, this guy, potentially the worst assassin in that class. But he had rejected it, throwing the box back to her.

“I-I- thought- I thought you didn’t like me!” She spluttered, gripping the bed knob of her brass-framed twin bed. “I liked you too, idiot! But you-“

“Rejected you, yeah.” Terasaka shrugged. He was pink, red really, staring at the ground. “I- I never thought it would happen. And when it suddenly did I panicked. I realized I wasn’t sure.”

Kirara laughed dryly. “Too freaky for you, then?”

“No! That’s the thing!” Terasaka spat, almost too sharp for Kirara’s liking. “You’ve always been smarter, more perceptive. You’ve always been graceful, cunning- I- I don’t know, these are more artsy words than I’ve ever used-” He paused, stopping to breathe. “I was always afraid of putting myself out there. I liked you, Hazama. And I was dumb for never telling you.”

Kirara stepped forward, closer to him. “I’m sorry I never knew.” She said, sincerely. She reached forward with a pale hand, taking his chin gently and lifting his head up to face her.

Before she could speak, though, he spoke, quietly, rushing. “And- now it’s too late. Now we’re going- college is what we need to do now- who knows if we’ll ever-?”

He didn’t finish, because Kirara suddenly swooped forward and planted a kiss on his lips. It was quick, barely a peck, but Terasaka still blushed beet red at the very un-Kirara-like gesture. Kirara herself was shocked by it as well, pulling back and covering her mouth with two fingers.

Suddenly pulling himself together, Terasaka took several alarmed steps back. “Augh, what the HELL Hazama!”

Kirara blinked. “I’m not sure where that came from, sorry-”

“Sorry is right!” He grumbled loudly, flopping down on the bed and rubbing his temples. “You can’t catch me by surprise like that, idiot...”

“You’re the idiot here. Keeping your feelings hidden for years...” She narrowed her eyes, leaning forward and flicking him on the forehead. He barely flinched- to her subdued surprise, he cracked a grin.

“I deserve that, don’t I.”

Kirara blushed and she sat down next to him on the bed. They sat in silence for awhile, Terasaka gathering his thoughts and Kirara staring out the window at the moon, in its cracking crescent. She knew Koro-Sensei was long gone. Even still, this...wouldn’t have happened without the assassination classroom. How far has Koro-Sensei’s legacy reached? This far into the future... She supposed that was only to be expected.

Terasaka suddenly took her head and leaned it on his shoulder. Like the kiss, it was a brief gesture, but nonetheless a gesture of closeness.

Kirara smiled to herself, not taking her eyes off the moon. “I think it’ll be okay, Ryouma.”

“Mhm.”

———

Thanks for the ask! Sorry it took so long eeeeuuhh >~>

[levyfiles]

(1/2) okay so i'm totally gonna respond to your response to my gmm ask (thank you for that by the way🤟🏾). but right now i need to break your heart just a wittle bit more 🤷🏾‍♀️ (this is kind of a doozy but i've got a lot to say)

Augh yeah  ABSOLUTELY. The past seasons have almost been a lead up for anyone watching to recognise how important Shane has been to the way Ryan recovers from his worst scares. To the point where Ryan, who is constantly examining the footage closely over and over couldn’t not see the change in himsef versus when Shane is or isn’t there. I keep thinking a lot about what he said in the postmortem about how he was practically sapping up every ounce of fun he could get before the solo investigation. 

This is all so much of what I’ve been feeling about that moment. He is always so in tune with Ryan and now, after the postmortem, we have even more colour for how gentle he was with Ryan afterward, which, UNDERSTANDABLE because that initial thousand yard stare devolved even worse once he was off camera. I can’t stop thinking of the door pat as well, which I documented a little here. Point in fact, I think I have a long track record of posting meta commentary on Shane’s strangely protective responses to Ryan during innocuous moments especially this one

It really says so much about Shane as a person, his telling Ryan to sit down and chill while they packed up because he could feel how physically rattled Ryan was to the point where he took the photo that honestly, breaks my heart

Regardless of whatever the heck this was, I am so glad Ryan is aware that Shane makes all of this go away when he’s around.

(btw whenever you wanna vent, feel free to message me or make a post and tag me in it so you don’t have to worry about numbering asks)