#thalfbloodloser

[thalfbloodloser]

You bring insanity to a boringly sane fandom. I would like to hear your latest thought on ivorycest... Whatever nugget you may be nursing. If that is alright

✦ aw, thank you! you're so sweet 🐌🧡 it's very much alright - no one in here ever sends me fun stuff anymore. your ask was a breath of fresh air, anon! truth be told, i haven't been thinking about ivorycest all that much, but get ready for a HUGE text-block jumpscare because you just gave me the perfect excuse to write about them ➜

✦ sometimes it pains me to see so many folks avoiding ivorycest like the plague, because, like ranfren itself, it's so unapologetically insane that you can't really hate it. even if you try. if you have a dash of sense of humor, you'll see it's hilariously canon compliant!

i've seen lots of people argue that "anything romantic/sexual between randal and luther would be inherently out of character", which i'll admit is a reasonable concern, but it's just not true. the issue is characterization: people keep projecting human-based tropes and behavior on cryptids, and that's where the knee-jerk "eugh" reaction comes from. because yeah, randal and luther aren't going to declare their Forbidden Love for each other and then passionately kiss under the moonlit sky, nor are they going to feel guilty about their attraction and part ways with a tearful "we can't! this is wrong!". it would be completely unnatural behavior for them. all that? made for humans. and pretty basic humans, at that. for ivorycest to work, both in and out of canon, you gotta fully embrace the weirdness, see beyond humanity and forget all old expectations you might've gotten from any other couple of siblings!

from my point of view, it doesn't even feel like it fits with the rest of the "-cest"s. and not because of the possibility that randal and luther aren't even biologically related (i seriously doubt they're even from the same species) - we all know that adoptive siblings aren't any less siblings just because they don't share DNA. plus, pseudo-incest is still a thing - but because they're so, so far from human nature and from other brother/brother ships that it's almost laughable, and sometimes genuinely puzzling, to apply ANY human labels to them at all. for example, would you call luther a cannibal because he eats people? no. because it'd be like calling a human cannibal for eating cows, and that makes no sense. words mean things.

to us, at least.

coincidentally, that's half of my point.

the ivorys adress each other as "brother", sure, but you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that they fully understand what that means or that they care about it enough to follow the moral/ethical guidelines attached to such terms. you simply cannot. most times it feels less like they see each other as family and more like they're just...roleplaying.

but if you decide to call someone "daddy", just when does that make them your father?

randal, who could (but perhaps shouldn't) be considered the most resourceful of the two, uses "brother" as both title and honorific - like one uses "sir" or "ma'am" - but doesn't seem to be overtly attached to the familial aspect of it. again, he's not a human, and, as far as we know, our siblinghood doesn't come naturally to him - much like pain, guilt, conscience and a whole load of bodily functions that he also seems to lack. luther, on the other same hand, understands the caretaking implications of being the "older brother", but that's pretty much where his brotherly-ness begins and ends. if anything, he's incorrectly using the sibling label while playing parent; just without any trauma and/or responsibility attached to it. there's also the fact that he's the most powerful entity in the household and randal - no matter how many pianos he "possesses" or how many times he shoves himself in the space between the wall and the fridge - cannot possibly overpower him, also adds to this parent/kid dynamic; hence granting luther the (almost-meaningless) title of "master" and the authority over their dysfunctional home. that still doesn't mean randal perceives him as anything but a housemate, or playdate, for he doesn't really seem to keep up the role of mischievous little brother unless he's bored (often, not always).

so they use the word, but it lacks permanent meaning. in that sense, classic incest tropes - no matter if brocon or dadson flavored - don't really work. there's power imbalance, sure, but the familial bonds needed to reinforce that imbalance simply do not exist. randal is babied because he likes to be. he likes being taken care of and likes having rules to break. it's a character he plays. luther "takes care" of him because he himself likes doing it. he likes being a parent and likes having a reason to lecture & discipline. it's a character he plays. they don't actually need this dynamic to thrive, and it wasn't imposed on them by parents/caretakers or any set of misfortunes that we know of. they just deliberately chose to partake on it.

consequently, i don't think they feel what humans perceive as familial love (healthy or unhealthy) for each other. they're simply two powerful entities - whom we can assume have been at least friends for a long time - playing make-believe. creatures who have little to no regard for humanity as a species, and are only interested in their own antics. of course they do eventually commend certain humans for their achievements, and seem to find all sorts of comfort in our art/creations/traditions, but outside of that? they see humans as fragile beings as intelectually insignificant to them as most animals are to us. randal forcibly keeps one as a pet. not far from "master" luther, who keeps two.

again, the ivorys are clearly intelligent, specially regarding their own survival. they're not behind being purposefully dense when it comes to anything human that is even slightly inconvenient to them (huh? eating the delivery man's arm when we order pizza is bad? haha, i would never have guessed!). they have the means and understanding necessary to behave (and perhaps look) 100% human, they just...choose not to. they can bend reality itself to their whims, turn themselves and others into inconceivable creatures, all while feigning absolute normalcy at the chaotic world around them (werewoofs, carpet cats with human faces, alive walls and furniture...), and you think they'd draw the line at willingly distorting something as frivolous as family hierarchy?

tch. please.

with that said, by the rules of their own game, if they were to partake in any...non-platonic activities, it would only be considered incestuous because they decided it would be - by creating the dynamic and environment in the first place. and they would simply not fucking care if it is upsetting, distasteful or imoral by human standards. and that's the ship's whole flavor - that's why i love it so much! precisely because there's no such thing as the "oh, no! i accidentally fell in love with my sibling! woe is me!" (which i also love) with the ivorys. there's also not a "normal" way to ship them, even if you're adamant about them not being related or not seeing each other as family, because they're two fucking weirdos.

their whole relationship is so tastefully bonkers that i genuinely wouldn't be fazed if they spawned another creature to be their "littlest" sibling. honestly, who could stop them? and who's to say that, in their cryptic way, they're not a married couple? or buddies into weird roleplay? ultimately, it is undeniable that they - in at least one sense of the word - love each other enough to enable each other; and to indulge on each other's silly/straight-up-criminal fantasies.

to me, there's no (human) romance, nor seduction, involved. randal knows he'll get nothing by jumping on his brother's lap and performing the most disgustingly horny hentai rip-off scenario ever. much like he'll get nothing in exchange for sweet words, flowers and chocolate. it's part of the game. he knows he'll receive only a "<3" (♥︎) - which him and luther seem to be able to pronounce out loud - or a hummed, blank-faced lecture about needing either a nap or to drink more water. if luther is having a bad day, he might even receive some sort of punishment. and those are the reactions randal wants, the normalcy (if you can call it that) he counts on. if he wanted a different response, something genuinely human, he'd have forcibly gauged it off sebastian, nyon or even nyen. likewise, luther knows better than to come too close or to grab randal by the waist, lest he get bitten or not-so-playfully snipped with scissors.

but there's intimacy. so much intimacy. on waking up to the other's figure looming over them, on physically crawling under each other's skin, on wrapping hands and claws around each other's organs and muscles and bones, on faux eyes staring into faux eyes, on a eerie smile pressed against unmoving lips, on the suspension of disbelief, on the lingering smell of copper, on the flashing lights and sappy endearments and and-

and, i suppose, on the sex too. i don't think i can picture them having human sex - really, who am i to guess what these creatures are packing in their pants? for all we know, they might as well be ken-doll smooth down there - but if they were to ever consummate their relationship sexually, i feel like it would probably be as uncomfortable, off-putting, disturbing and offensive to the eyes as everything else they do. genuinely revolting from any possible point of view - unless you're a true monsterfucker. a ritual so gross that, for us, it resembles nothing but a cacophony of unthinkable horrors molding together wetly, but that, to them, feels nothing but heavenly from beginning to end. as close to divinity as such wretched demons/creatures are ever going to get.

anyways. enough, my apologies-

the conclusion is that...me shipping these two isn't even about wishing they'd get together, because, in their fucked up way, they already are. it isn't about spiting other fans either. it's about having fun coming up with increasingly nonsensical scenarios hoping to come close to their freak ✦

[thalfbloodloser]

RIGHT? i went to watch it with my very lesbian cousin and - besides a lot of fun - we both had...awakening experiences (his face. you should've seen his face. i've never seen a butch stare at a man's chest like that) (me on the other hand...always been a bitch for hugh. but whimpering pathetically while something weird - dare i say a visual orgasm? - happened to my body was new) (a lesbian and gay walk into a theater...)

I just saw a theatre almost entirely full of men very audible gasp and/or moan at the site of a shirtless Hugh Jackman and let me tell you if was a religious experience

[thalfbloodloser]

some time ago i was really really sad, and nothing seemed to make it better, so i got a random cardboard piece and scribbled my favorite character on it with every art medium i own (colored pencils, ink pens, crayons, markers, cheap paint, poscas...you name it) in a genuine attempt to enjoy the process of creation without drowning in worry or perfectionism. and for the first time in forever? i did! i had fun! now the cardboard is precariously taped to the wall because i love to stare at its accidental beauty and all its imperfections. if you're an artist, try this. "waste" materials on a random sheet of cardboard. i promise you, it's worth it

[thalfbloodloser]

That was a lot more than I anticipated, but I welcome it! It's all very fascinating and I am in agreement about a lot of it, especially about how it's remarkably in line with their characters to do what is socially understood to be a Taboo... but what does one more taboo violation matter for the Ivory household anyways?

What I find *really* interesting is that you see ivorycest as the perfect expression of their inhumanity, whereas I see it as the closest to true humanity that they'd ever come to be. Of course, any guilt (from Luther's part, not Randal lol) would stem from not being a proper "human" rather than any genuine concern for the ethical ramifications, very shallow in comparison... Moral quandaries are not huge concern for them. It's more along the lines of them choosing to willfully dirty something core to their adopted humanity, which only reads as more human... Or something like that.

Your interpretation is so fun though, it has to be the single most true to Ranfren analysis that I've seen from this fandom period, a true acknowledgement and acceptance of how fucking freaky and inhuman those two are! The idea of them just playing pretend is so delightfully novel to me, it adds such a lovely layer of spice :^) I will have to think on this for a while... Thank you!

I'm sorry. I wish I could write more and respond in kind to how you've spoiled me, but every paragraph I read makes me have to step away for a few minutes so I can digest it in peace and calm my nerves. The introspection into their intimate lives, intimacy beyond traditional human sex, made me freak out for 20 minutes alone. Just know I will treasure that response dearly, I am very, very grateful!

✦ anon, your mind....

"[...] i see it as the closest to humanity as they'd ever come to be" // "it's more along the lines of them choosing to willfully dirty something core to their adopted humanity, which only reads as more human"

AUGH- what a delightful interpretation! it's almost the polar opposite of mine, and yet i love it just as much - if not more. there's something so beautiful about searching for humanity and only coming close to it by defiling its very concept/rules...

isn't going against "human nature" - family, ethics, moral - the most human thing of all? isn't the very search for humanity and its meaning what makes us human? perhaps, on their crusade, our two 'tin men' do not yet realize they already have hearts ✦

...much to think about. thank you, once again, for indulging me and for your kindness! there's no need to apologize, i get it - you should see me reading a book; one paragraph = one walk around the house - and i'll treasure your response just as much!

if you ever feel like chatting, about ranfren or anything else, feel free to message me 🐌🧡

[thalfbloodloser]

✦ welcome! #fred.exe

my "introduction" post randomly disappeared months ago and i did not care to replace it, but since i'm bored...

he/him/his or it/its if you're freaky

transgender man (pre-t)

latino americano, brasileiro

leftist & anti-censorship

when i say multifandom, i mean it. though nowadays my blog is mostly star trek, horror movies, silly reblogs and art!

multimedia artist (hobby)

not the greatest fan of using specific labels for everything, but technically i'm aromantic (allosexual) and polyamorous; and i sometimes reblog posts about it.

disclaimer: if you post real life self-harm pictures and/or eating disorder content i'll probably block you. i use slurs that apply to me (fag, tranny, etc). i'm not a minor. my account contains foul language, sexual/kink stuff and the not-so-occasional problematic fiction; therefore, viewer discretion is advised.

tags i use: #thalfbloodloser, #thalfbloodloser art :) and #personal vent

[thalfbloodloser]

turns out that yes; reading about something, and fundamentally understanding it, rarely prepares you for the moment it happens.

trigger / content warning: sexual assault, mentions of rape, incest and (implied) pedophilia.

i've read through countless accounts of sexual harassment, from strangers i've never met to people very close to me. most women - and whoever else was deemed so, at birth - i know were almost (if not actually) raped at least once. every single one of those tales broke my heart, giving faces and names and behaviors to big-bad fears i already had.

this sounds ridiculous now, but i genuinely thought i'd be ready for the time it inevitably happened to me. despite being a trans man, i'm not on testosterone yet, and...well, i look like a 15-ish year old butch lesbian. i knew it was bound to happen, really, and i always saw myself as very lucky and/or clever for managing to stay under the radar for so long.

...i thought i'd be able to recognize it. that i wouldn't struggle with self-doubt, fear and shame. that i was above it all, somehow, because i knew what to expect and i had the advantage many don't. i was wrong.

my uncle's hand squeezing my ass made my heart sink in a way it hadn't ever before. time stopped, for a moment, and suddenly i was alone in the world. so...lost. confused. the denial came first. because surely, i must've felt it wrong, right? he wouldn't actually touch me like that. not with bad intentions. why would he? he's part of my family!

the shame was second. it lingered. i still feel it, crawling under my skin, in the back of my head. i let it happen. i didn't say anything. i didn't defend myself. i was wearing shorts. i misunderstood him. i mentally accused my uncle of something horrible-

for the first time, i didn't want to tell my mom. i didn't want to tell my friends. for the first time, i felt (feel) so ashamed that i couldn't possibly let them know - nor see - how much of a weak, pathetic, defenseless crybaby i really am. it felt like too much.

i felt horrible for days and i couldn't even understand why. i couldn't possibly accept that i...i had been actually assaulted after so long. i thought i'd be nonchalant when it happened to me; specially if it wasn't "all that bad". so many people have it worse. i've read about so much worse than an inconvenient uncle. this shouldn't matter. so why does it hurt so bad to even think about it? why does my heart immediately race? why can't i properly breathe? why do i panic so bad?

i told my aunt. she has always been my safe space, but in that moment? i wanted to punish myself. i wanted to hear someone say "you got it all wrong, dirty-minded slut". i wanted to hear someone say "he's a religious man! your uncle! he would never!". i needed a reason for all the guilt i was feeling. but she, my beloved guardian angel, believed me instantly. she told me both about things i didn't know, and things i did not remember. about how he had always been a perverted man. a harasser who catcalled, flashed and touched women without their consent. how he was caught in various "compromising" (ie. sexual) situations with at least three of his prepubescent nieces. she called him "pedophile" point blank, no sugarcoating.

my aunt also told me that she had previously caught him staring at my bare legs. that was after she secretly decided to keep him under surveillance because i (nonchalantly) told her about him constantly staring at my tits (i rarely bind them at home). i thought it wasn't a big deal, but she didn't. she remembered, and, even though she thought i was joking/exaggerating, validated my feelings/worries by keeping a keen eye on him.

then i told her about all the uncomfortable waist squeezing and the incessant sloppy cheek kisses that sometimes got a bit too close to my mouth. i explained that i wouldn't see anything wrong with it, if it came from anyone else - from anyone i trusted. explained that i always felt weird when he did it, because it felt like he was ill intentioned. to my surprise, she was appalled. because of course she was. obviously. i don't know why i wasn't.

why did it take me so long to see how bad this is? to understand just how much his behavior affects me? i jumped to protect my cousin from him, recently. i told my cousin to run and cover his own tits, legs shaking because i did not want my uncle to look. to touch. how could i be so blind? did it have to come to this? did i do this to myself, by not telling him off? did i encourage it, somehow, by pretending (or believing) it was all sweet, "normal" family stuff? you should've seen his face. he wouldn't look at me - he left in a unusual hurry. he looked guilty, scared. his expression told me all i needed to know.

i feel emasculated. weird. disgusting. you name it. no matter what i eat, my mouth tastes bitter. no matter how many times i distract myself, my thoughts stray back to that moment. it shouldn't matter. it wasn't that serious. but it feels like the end of the world, and my brain keeps telling me that i deserved it. and that the people i love share its opinion. and that the next time it happens, when a dangerous stranger puts his hands on me in the middle of the night, i won't have my auntie to save me.

...c'est la vie.

[thalfbloodloser]

came from search. i like your ranfren musings funnyman you are very well spoken 👍

oh! thank you very much, anon! 🐌🫶 someone gave me the opportunity to about it yap and i took it, haha ✦

[thalfbloodloser]

✦ HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 🎃👻🦇

[thalfbloodloser]

sighs...i want a pup hood so bad but i fear i'm not manly enough nor well-versed in the culture enough to wear one. like what if i completely miss the point and all the hot pet people come beat me up with shovels (which would be simultaneously hot and upsetting)

[thalfbloodloser]

anon hate why not anon love?

❤️ <- there it is :3

awww, thank you! you're very sweet 🐌💞💐

and, well, anon hate is fun because it gives you the opportunity to snap back, be silly/witty or straight up start a fight. it is also a pretty big ego booster because it most likely means you're intimidating (just enough for haters to feel like they have to hide their username from you) or somewhat relevant (not my case. womp womp!)

[thalfbloodloser]

the sad thing about not having many tumblr mutuals/buddies/enemies is that i get no asks to answer. not even anon hate! very sad

[thalfbloodloser]

💗💕

I’ve been looking for you for years!!! I finally found u!!! I love your art so much and I think your hair is really cute 0w0

WAAAAA THANK U SO MUCH

[thalfbloodloser]

hey sorry i don't know what possessed me on my last post but i discovered this little symbol ✦ and now i am obsessed with it

[thalfbloodloser]

i tried to get rid of my colorful ranfren "aesthetic" because it's quite the eyesore but turns out that i am too attached to it. just may be keeping this monstrosity forever.

[thalfbloodloser]

i think i need anger management classes. every time someone gets even slightly whiny about something around me i feel like punching a hole through a brick wall-

[thalfbloodloser]

me: i've gotten over my snape obsession i am a new man i will not talk about him anymore

also me: [has 54 drafts tagged as #severus snape] [sent 3 very long (like, hours long) voice messages about him to an unsuspecting friend] [keeps a plushie snape on the bed even after getting rid of all HP merch owned]