#I need to go to bed

[dhrlove]

Why did I literally think this post was talking about Scar from the Lion King at first? Oh, right, I’m a dumbass and exhausted.

scar is such a pro at being an unreliable narrator that he really makes you forget he instigated most of the chaos in like half the seasons. goes right in hand with how people tend to underestimate him until hes suddenly the ruiner

[mydogatemymotivation]

I kind of think that people focus a little too much on the Lasat Merc that Kallus mentioned in the Honorable Ones. I get it, because it's an interesting scene that Kallus describes but I think focusing on the mercenary himself is, like, not the point. I don't know whether he worked for Saw long term and was a partisan himself, or if he was just a hired gun because Saw needed some extra muscle, but him staying hidden and kind of shrouded in mystery is just so much better for Kallus.

First of all, focusing on the merc makes what happened to Kallus kind of fall to the wayside, it takes the focus off of him almost entirely. I do think that it makes sense from Kallus' pov because I think he fixates on the mercenary after the fact, maybe as a way to cope, but there was a lot more going on with him specifically.

He was the only survivor, for one. No matter what side someone was on, surviving that situation is traumatizing. Especially with the calculated way Kallus described it (we also have to remember that he may be something of an unreliable narrator here, he's traumatized and biased). I remember watching The Pianist which was, unfortunately, a great movie (I say unfortunately because it's a Roman Polanski film, and I had no idea about the allegations at the time) (I watched it for class and wrote a paper about it, WWII movie) but there's a scene in it where there are people who are laid on the ground face down and shot in the back of the head one-by-one, except the last one because the soldiers clip runs out. So he takes the time, standing above this guy, to reload his gun, then shoots. Even just as a film scene that shit stuck with me. You can't tell me that living through that and not knowing whether or not the gun was going to turn on you wouldn't be the reason you have nightmares for the rest of your life. You can debate about motivations and the partisans all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that living through that means you're never sleeping through the night again.

Kallus also says that he couldn't move. I don't know if he was pinned down, or if he was in shock, but I always took it to mean some kind of injury. Something like an incomplete paralysis, nerve damage to his spine, that causes temporary paralysis. Long recovery time, surgeries, physical and/or occupational therapy, etc.

He would've been a very young boy, trying to do good (even if he was misguided), injured, unable to move, watching all the boys his age die one-by-one, waiting for his turn, being the only survivor, the medical trauma, the physical pain - that mercenary doesn't need to be evil to make this properly traumatizing for Kallus. He could be a completely neutral actor.

Second of all, Kallus' anger at the mercenary is exaggerated. He's angry at himself. A lot of people I think ask the question of "how did Kallus stay with the Empire after what happened on Lasan?" Honestly, I think the answer is denial. There's no way to deny what happened on Lasan, but there is a way to bury your head in the sand. Not ask questions, assume that there was some grand plan you're just unaware of and that if you knew all the details then everything would make sense, put more trust in the people you definitely shouldn't be trusting, and find someone else to blame. Basically, double, even triple, down, because if you don't then everything you've done is for nothing. He takes his anger out on Zeb and clings to this narrative about this mercenary to try and throw together some explanation he can get behind mentally. Also keep in mind that Lasan happened like, two years or so before the beginning of the show. So as little time as Zeb has had to deal with what happened to his home, Kallus also has had two years of mental spiraling to try and tie himself into knots to justify what happened, and he only seemed to get crueler and angrier in that time frame (that random stormtrooper he kicked to death??). It wasn't until he was able to talk to someone about what happened (and I don't imagine talk therapy is encouraged in the Empire) that he was able to come back around. Kallus only lasted three, maybe three and a half years after Lasan before he finally couldn't take it and left (and, maybe it's just me, but I don't really count his time under Vader. You do what Vader says in order to survive)(but that could completely be my perspective). But all the while, every time he fought Zeb, he was fighting that mercenary and himself.

The mercenary left him alive because 1) he just flat out didn't see him, 2) Kallus was so badly injured he thought Kallus was dead, 3) Kallus was the only one without a helmet and the mercenary saw a young boy. We never see this mercenary. I don't know if he died, or if he left the partisans after deciding he didn't like Gererra's tactics, or if he was a hired gun whose job was done. Either way, I don't think Kallus should ever see him again. I don't know if I have the words to explain why (sorry if I repeat myself, but I'm trying to put words to my thoughts) but somehow Kallus' ability to let this issue go, in my mind, is directly tied to his ability to heal from the Empire. I don't necessarily think that this is a thread he needs to chase, or an issue he needs closure on. His lingering resentment is petty and small compared to Zeb's capacity to forgive, and I think he would beat himself up for still feeling angry. His ability to close the door on this is directly related to his ability to accept Zeb's forgiveness. When people talk about the mercenary, I just, I feel like, they're missing what the mercenary is for Kallus. And in real life I could understand wanting answers about something that happened to you, but in this instance, narratively, the mercenary is left unnamed for a reason. This character is a catalyst or a shadow in Kallus' story, he's not meant to be examined for his own sake, he's meant to be examined for what he means to Kallus.

Idk hopefully this makes sense I should've gone to bed a while ago, this was just something I've had on my mind for a minute. (and as always, this isn't me trying to absolve Kallus of anything he did, just thinking, trying to understand him, etc., cuz he's interesting)

[elderwisp]

something something destroy everything u touch

[chipthekeeper]

Listen. Vel stared longingly out of a window. I can’t be mad about anything in my life right now

[princescar]

Kyoko Yasuke step-sibling AU where Jin and Momsuda marry before she gets sick. am i cooking or??

[bendersmind]

My tiny rotten brain ball cannot resolve this man with the one who gently kicked a beachball and knocked the wind out of himself. Was this in a video or live?

So speaking of the spread...

Runs in the fam, huh? Perpetua you're next, we just need to make sure

[becasbelt]

vi not wearing a bra after she's been recovering? makes sense, totally checks out. unclear if vi even owns a bra at this point. caitlyn not wearing a bra to go visit her dumbass ex who got herself locked in a secluded prison cell? SUSPICIOUS

[sangrefae]

i had a dream that they got married and when i woke up i immediately thought of this post

[bisasterbuckley]

[tomahachi12]

Day 24 - Alice

[feralnumberfive]

Wait, so if the Hargreeves gave up their lives to give their Marigolds to The Cleanse to stop it, then what the fuck about all the other super powered children? They never said if there were any other people with the Marigold in the S4 timeline, but the world ended in the previous timelines (and many more that we didn't see) because of the Hargreeves.

It can't be solely them though if there were 36 other children with the Marigold. The Hargreeves can't be the only reason in every timeline that the world ended, especially since Abigail created the Durango. Am I going crazy??

[angeloftrumpets]

[gunsatthaphan]

the 🍑 quartet is complete 😌🙏🏻

[chickenchirps27]

WIP almost done :3

[scrambledd3ggss]

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY

THUNDER SAGA FIRST THOUGHTS:

WOW THAT WAS SPECTACULAR AND IM FEELING MANY EMOTIONS

THE PARALLELS WITH ODY AND EURY IN MUTINY????

ODY RELATING TO SCYLLA???

THE VOCALS

THE MUSIC

THE AMOUNT OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED

I was so confused at the start bc I was like “dream?” Then I was like “why’d Penelope say daughter?” Then I was like “OH SHIT SIRENS”

Odysseus is definitely a lot more ruthless 😭

and Thunder bringer was INSANE

THIS WHOLE SAGA WAS INSANE AND PERFECT AND I LOVE IT

Edit cause I forgot to add it: EURYLOCHUS CALLED ODYSSEUS ODY?? OH MY GOD IM CRYING

[youdent1ty]

merry crisis everyone