#I need therapy. probably.
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K guys so let me talk my shit for a sec bc you ever read a fanfic x reader and it is just so hard to identify with the reader? BECAUSE FOR ME I fr end up getting ENVIOUS of the READER that’s supposed to be ME?! AND I DONT MEAN LIKE bc of some oddly specific physical description or smthn. Guys im literally a woman myself but im quite assertive and blunt (which tends to be… unfavorable or intimidating in most cases) so when i read implied fem!reader that is gentle, demure, mindful, and almost considerate to a fault I think I want to do three backflips off a cliff.
Like I’m sorry society that I’m lowkey mean and openly critical of everything I’ll just continue talking to myself ig🤚 but tbh, the worst part is I really don’t even feel sorry for it LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Anyways, Chapter 2 of The Sun Burns Bright Blue coming soon! And maybe Part 2 of the Love Language concept series <3 goodnight besitos
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"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU
Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.
His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.
(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)
Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.
(something I'll get into later)
He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.
While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.
He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.
They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.
His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.
Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.
His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.
Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.
I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.
Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.
Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.
Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.
(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)
Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.
They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.
But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#additions. opinions and brainstorming are encouraged!! i'd love to hear what other people's thoughts on this are and brainstorm with them.#the brainstorming is the best part.#stillborn? no still born au#poc danny fenton#stillborn au#long haired danny fenton#danny isn't surprised by the fact that the fentons were greenlit for foster parenting considering some of the foster parents HE'S had#those two ideas differed in who found out about who first. Whether it be Bruce or Danny. bruce finding out about danny first results in#Bruce seeking him out first and being able to explain his side of the story first without misunderstandings. this is the Happy Version#Danny finding out about Bruce first results in him getting an official DNA test done and intentionally seeking him out to introduce himself#except when he finds out about damian's existence his shit self worth results in him jumping to the conclusion that his bio family never#wanted him in the first place. that they weren't looking for him and instead just up and replaced him. This is the Fucking SAD Version#and includes a conversation where Danny looks Batman dead in the eyes and tells him that he was 'daddy dearest's fucking reject'#danny completely unaware that batman = bruce wayne btw. for the extra angst. bruce has to stand there and take it. rip#this poor boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and rehab. probably. i've thought about him having an old addiction that he was recovering#from prior to the fentons. but its not confirmed yet. if i go through with it its either gonna be nicotine or like painkillers. i need to#wait and think about it when i'm not on the angst train. i have a tendency to go overboard when i am. its the endorphin high#Danny calls Damian his 'fucking replacement' and Damian tackles him.#starry makes another angsty au
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it is always under appreciated how secretive phoenix is like he’s very breezy and hard to nail down. i feel like it’s bc he’s often seen in the context of his relationship with edgeworth but like. edgeworth isn’t cagey. if anything he’s somewhat willing to share a moderate level of personal details if he’s able to, he’s just awkward and very formal and task oriented. phoenix is snarky and impersonal but everyone allows it cause he gets deemed as harmless and goofy. kind of a slay
#hes the kind of guy who won’t tell you when his birthday is#or you’d ask him what he ate for dinner and he’d be like oh you know :)#like you know ZERO things about him unless they’re 1. in relation to edgeworth or 2. relevant to a case#it’s just so interesting people tend to characterise him as quite open and goofy#but he’s kinda catty and won’t tell you anything#i think like maya and edgeworth would wear him down eventually#and probably trucy and eventually apollo#but i think edgeworth would like Fix Himself and Go To Therapy and would eventually be like#phoenix u need to. sort out this aloofness you’ve developed#Edgeworth Assigned Therapy#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#narumitsu#wrightworth
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Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.
The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.
When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.
So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.
Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.
#maybe I just prefer ugly crying to the cute scene idk#I’ve talked about this before but it just hits me in waves sometimes#the way this game has made me feel so seen and valid for trauma I had written off as character development is wild#it’s so much cheaper than therapy but I probably need to go back to therapy lolol#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#tw: sa#astarionology
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Oh no….I have succumbed to the MLP virus trend….whatever will I do?
Start of our story:
Stress (Prologue, access parts 2 & 3 here): https://www.tumblr.com/findoesstuf/744497236410548224/banana-cream-puddin
Escape (Chapter 1, Part 1 only available): https://www.tumblr.com/findoesstuf/747739858791022592/banana-cream-puddin
#mlp#mlp infection au#mlp art#mlp friendship is magic#twilight sparkle#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#spike#pinkie pie#hhhhhh I can’t do this#I don’t like gore so I just did little injuries on Twi and Rarity#spikes not dead in this one lol#much of the main cast is alive in this one#poor pinkie tho#I like her having fangs and then being friends w spike#probably needs therapy anyway#more to come tho this is all just sheets and concept of what the infection is#coalesce virus
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Ember had an idea!
Babypop had it rough lately and things have calmed down but he still seems stressed so she's gonna help 'im out!
the thing is, he needs a way to express himself an' get outa 'ere because Amity has way too much shit goin' on and she knows for a fact babypop is gonna try and help and won't get any rest so she's plotting.
Amber will get him on tour! she's already got herself established as a "meta" so no one's gonna bat an eye at her and she knows Phantom has nice voice when he tries!
#dpxdc#danny phantom#ember mclain#feel free to use#They eventually go to gotham#i don't have energy to tag#mix of my own and an idea i saw here#dead on main#maybe probably#bats be bats#Danny is getting much needed vacation#and music therapy#red hood has feels for the music#Ember is a known meta(nope still a ghost)#ember:think we can get away with fighting on the scene?
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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#madam lan#A-qing#Band AU#(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).
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#911#911edit#buddie#buddieedit#911 fox#911 abc#911 on fox#evanbuckleyedit#eddiediazedit#my edit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#1k#honestly ive been thinking about this since the lightning#911hiatusparallels#because yes eddie had no idea the tsunami was gonna happen and the same way it wasnt Bucks fault it wasnt eddie#but this is the guy that asked for a sign about what to do about his wife and she died#then he tried to force his best friend to do something he wasnt ready for and he almost died too#and yes therapy eddie is better with his own feelings but i wonder if it crossed his mind#because maddie probably tried to get him into the keep buck distracted rotation#and he said no probably because he knew buck could need a place to escape to#but still#it could've crossed his mind the consequences of the last time he didnt give buck time#the tsunami the lawsuit all that yk#i dont know i just want to put the thought somewhere#it makes sense that eddie would wait him out after the previous moments with buck and death#anyway#yeah#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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BBI DODGAY DESGIN BECAUSE IM NOT SURE IF HE IS AN ADULT
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime 3#art#fanart#deep sleep#dogday#catnap#au#kids now#yippeee#theodore grambell#they dont like each other#i mean theo doesnt like anyone so#but jamie is trying alright#trying to get a friend#poor guy#i made a random name for dogday idk��#jamie has probably caught theo trying to kill someone#they both need therapy
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yingdu episode 5 spoilers
ohhh my god this is everything I want from cheng xiaoshi. yes. perfect. sorry, but I'm a cheng xiaoshi whump liker and link click always brings out the best of them in episode 5 of each season.
there's just something cathartic about how when cheng xiaoshi becomes an emotional mess, it's also when he's most disconnected with the people he knows (physically, as he's diving in a photo and his only link to his home timeframe is a disembodied lu guang in his head) but it's also when he's most connected with strangers (when their own personal trauma lines up with his). to me, it's a showcase of empathy and a strange manifestation of his own agency. something about how the disconnect gives him the space to blow up, and the connection heightens it and grants him permission, almost, to express his anger more freely for his own sake and for another person's behalf.
like. listen, okay, I'm gonna ramble now because cheng xiaoshi is my favorite character in this entire show, but listen. sometimes some fans will conflate adjectives to his character that are usually associated with his character archetype, but they aren't necessarily true about him as a character. and I don't mean it in a, "he's not like that because he grows out of those traits" kind of way. I mean it in a, "he was never like that" kind of way.
one of those adjectives, for me, is when people call him immature. he isn't! to me! imo! he's got big emotions, yes, but I personally don't think the presence of big emotions indicates anything about maturity. because you know what? as long as his primary trauma (feelings of abandonment) isn't touched, he is very good at handling interpersonal conflicts, and that's what's interesting to me.
qiao ling hides relevant information from him? he removes himself from the situation to give himself space and sort out his feelings. he tells her he's fine and that he'll be back.
post-earthquake arc? I'll just copy paste what I already said in a previous ask:
what initially got me was when I was first watching S1, I thought the earthquake arc would have devastating effects on [shiguang's] relationship. listen, I didn’t know what I was getting into with link click, but I thought that was expected. it’s ripe for drama! but how do they handle the fight? they put their side business on hold but they still keep being roommates. they still do their day job. they still talk. they’re still upset but they give each other space but not to the point where they can’t stand existing in each other’s spaces. that’s when I realized that oh, they really trust each other. they have a very solid foundation for their relationship that not even the earthquake arc can break. they’re pretty level-headed about this, actually, all things considered? all the doomed yaoi stuff came later, but that’s just the cherry on top. it’s the way they handled conflict and disappointment in S1 that got me.
okay, protect-namine, why go through that whole tangent? BECAUSE! circling back to yingdu episode 5, we finally, finally get to see cheng xiaoshi let out some of his anger. and it's precisely because his primary trauma point was on the table. he can forgive a friend lying, and he can forgive being told not to change the past. because at the end of the day, qiao ling and lu guang stayed. they never left him.
but he cannot handle abandonment. he cannot understand why people leave. he cannot understand why he's been clinging on to false hope this entire time. and more importantly, he cannot understand how someone can be such a hypocrite about it. "a man who'd rather be kind to strangers than face his own son" like fuck man. cheng weimin you fucked up so bad.
it's the disconnect/connect thing again too. thematically, it makes sense. when does cheng xiaoshi blow up? when he's alone, far away from the people that ground him. alone, the feeling he hates the most. he's not even in his own body. he blows up when he's inhabiting a stranger's. he doesn't even get to be angry as cheng xiaoshi.
how fucked up is that. man. I love him so much.
also I'm going crazyyyy over the family themes going on in link click. much to say about the show itself across all seasons (the twins, qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi, even the liu siblings), but for this episode... god. okay this is slight speculation territory now and I'll try to keep this very short, because this is only tangential to the post. but. imagine xia fei getting the good parent figure in cheng weimin that cheng xiaoshi never had. and he doesn't know!! he's bitter inside about his dad and he's having hotpot with xia fei and he doesn't know he was in that school!! fuck that's so good. that's so juicy.
okay, sorry, I have a lot of feelings about cheng xiaoshi. he's my link click blorbo of all time, and I love when he experiences The Horrors™ because it's also when other sides of him gets to shine.
on a brighter note:
VEIN AND CHENG XIAOSHI MEETING AGAIN!!! their greeting was so cute. also omg does xia fei know? that his boss is maybe possibly a cannibal? actually, wait, I don't think I'd be surprised if he does know.
ah and finally. finally:
I've been having many thoughts on how yingdu approaches "friendships" and their transactional nature (mostly with regards to liu xiao) but I mostly thought they're headcanon stuff. but now. I'm so so happy that episode 5 is bringing out more of the quid pro quo theme. liu xiao with the gift giving. wang qing's "friends" (bullies) demanding her to cheat on the exam for them. and now, vein and cheng xiaoshi having a friendly greeting but also exchanging favors. so good. so good. it goes along with how there's so much handshakes and handholding this season (not just with lu guang and cheng xiaoshi, but with cheng xiaoshi and the the antagonist trio too, who have all met him by "helping" him in some way). something something trust and favors. probably something that deserves its own post though, but I wanted to point this out because I am soooo here for that. it's goes hand in hand (ha!) with the whole fraud/lies vs innocence/honesty theme this season, and deals/contracts being an equalizer to the two. very good. very tasty.
edit: ooh they also point to this in the YE6 trailer too. nice, nice. if you knew someone's true colors, would you still be their friend?
man, I love episode 5. it just hits all the stuff I personally wanted to see. the only flaw is that we still haven't seen the older version of wang qing, but yeah I kinda expected that they'll hide her until episode 6. they're giving her the liu xiao treatment from season 2. sigh. really wish she'd keep showing up in S3, we need more female characters in this show 🙏
#mine musings#liveblogging link click#link click#link click spoilers#the fic writer in me is so pleased. this is validating so much of the direction i want my fic to go#i'm sorry if this reads as very rambly. this post could probably be shorter but i don't wanna fix this up to make it read better#my emotions for cxs are too much to be organized in a logical manner#no meta-formatted essay like my post with qiao ling. this is just me blorbofying him#literally half stream of consciousness writing. cxs you are so loved. i love u. i hope you get cuddles but i love when you face The Horrors#because i know you can handle it. and also you needed to blow up like YESTERDAY so honestly this is therapy for you now#actually you know what. i'll probably reference this in the future for fic purposes so yeah i'll tag it#link click meta#actually i'll add one more thing re: maturity but i'll put it here in the tags#something i love about cxs. is that no matter the trauma he goes through. he is still kind#like this could've been anyone's villain origin story. but cxs works hard to be kind in spite of his experiences#like back again with conflating big emotions with immaturity. but choosing to be kind despite it all? it takes a lot of heart to do that
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Rip Dale and his 8 minutes of screen time.
#fairly oddparents#fairly odd parents a new wish#dale dimmadome#dale dimmadone probably needs therapy#i probably need therapy#he deserved more screen time in season one#Shout out to the 10 other Dale enthusiasts#i hate him but i love him#I should really continue writing my dale analysis
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Hi hi! Just wondering what you think the friendship dynamic between Raph and Cass would be like? I've seen CJ and April the most often in your Raph doodles but rarely if not ever Cass, and that got my curiosity up!
(I think of them as besties who does skating and trashing property with Dee lmao-)
whatever in the fresh hell this is
#i love them#i thinik they'd be actual best friends#this is before casey goes into therapy lord knows she needs it#would it be different after therapy? probably not.#asks!#nordidia art#my art#rottmnt#cassandra jones#rise raph
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new Danyal al Ghul au just dropped! --or at least some art of it did. I call it the "Stillborn? No, no, still born" au (or stillborn just for short)
it's based off a batfam comment I saw that mentioned in the early comics Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
I saw it, thought "mm, tasty!" and thought what if that baby was Danny instead of Damian? By default I was thinking of making him a few years older, however, it works just as well with demon twins. I need to think it over. Meet Daniel Brown! 14 year old foster kid whose been with the Fentons for the last two years! He has SO many issues haha. hah. lmfao even.
Danny's theme song is literally just "Good Kid" from the Percy Jackson musical, to sum him up.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc art#dc x dp#dcxdp#dp x dc#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn au#danny's been fucking through it!!! watch me jam this kid pack full of issues. :)#long haired danny fenton#poc danny fenton#danyal al ghul#this boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and probably some rehab. we'll see where i go with that last one#the fentons have been the best foster family he's had so far. although best is not synonymous with safest.#that fourth one was me doodling how i imagine danny's first meeting with bruce goes. and by first meeting i mean#'danny doesn't even realize bruce is his bio dad but bruce comes to the awful and ugly revelation that his firstborn child was alive this#whole time and that talia lied to him again. and also his firstborn was fistfighting a fucking inter-dimensional being with a KNIFE'#danny's too busy fighting skulker to care about who the guy at the outdoor cafe is beyond asking him if he could borrow the spare patio#chair at his table. its so he can throw it at skulker. he didn't have time to transform so!! fenton fight it is!!#i looked up the most common and generic last name for danny and 'daniel brown' had too much of a nice flow to it for me to bother looking#for something else. technically his name *should* be danyal bc that was on the note. but :) we all know how the system can be.#long hair danny ftw
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers#i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc#but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about#in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers#bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like#jesus christ lord almighty#every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me#each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was#fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY#again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc#bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this#and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money#they don't give a SHIT about u babe
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I'm laughing so much with all your tags 😂 so here's another one:
Choose your Christmas table Cobra Kai edition (but everyone has BEEF with each other edition)
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Let's be honest, we all know (or have) families who would behave like them if giving the chance to sit together 💀🤐
#I wanna see the house burning apparently#table number 7 is where I seat non-canon couples who need therapy in case you haven't noticed#I gotta say number 4 is one of my favs#and I'd probably just seat there comforting Chozen while watching everyone else's drama#we have war veterans#pooping teenagers#ex-sensei/student grudges#and... the front row 💀#cobra kai#cobra kai season 6#cobra kai part 2#kwon jae sung#cobra kai kwon#tory nichols#robby keene#miguel diaz#axel kovacevic#kim da eun#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#terry silver#john kreese#chozen toguchi#kenny payne#anthony larusso#cobra kai series#christmas#merry christmas ig?
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traumatized dickweeds turn to torturing each other so they can distract from the fact that they both need therapy
#starscream is terrified that he feels kind of getting for thinking de@ththre#@ts at metalhawk#and bumblebee is terrified that he doesnt feel any guilt at all#and only one other bot knows it so the accomplice must be destroyed any gaslighting distactable means possible#' YOU need THERAPY' ' NO yOU NEED THERAPY. ' ' I DONT NEED THERAPY. I JUST FILMED AN AD FOR MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS'#' fat fuck probably took up 29 cameras to film just you'#' THE TITAN. DIDNT. CHOOSE. YOU'#and then they both say keep yourself safe bcs theyre just so kind#me drawing starscream like an scp : now THIS is secy to me !!!#bee is an scp too they were Made for each other otter#starscream who everyone sees as an scp: everyone screams cries runs away tells to get help#bee: literally just a guy who happens to be a bitch. what happened to having fun and whimsy in this world anymore :\#bee who everyone sees as their lil friend nothing more : uoughhh so cute the smol protecc him omg!!#starscream: he kicked me while i was down & told me he hoped that made me infertile#' hes a fucking little bitch is what he is. im gonna get him pregnant now.' real life starscream quote Real i was maccadam.#maccadam#starscream#bumblebee#tf idw#idw scumbag bee enjoyer#metalhawk#whatever he has like no content anyways ill include him ig#transformers#starbee#the way i made shipart then almost forgot to tag the ship#GUILTY* KIND OF GUILTY* bruh
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