#I miss writing heartbreaking stuff
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I will take a break from writing smut once kinktober is over. I will take a break by writing angst
#jokes aside I'm so exhausted of writing smut#I need my dose of angst#I just love angst so much#I miss writing heartbreaking stuff#eyeless talks
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blame means you are hurt, hurt is anger, anger is grief, grief is love or a lack thereof
#sotce#self care#poem#prose#sotce inspired#girblogger#just girly thoughts#poetry#positive mental attitude#plants#cat#black cat#cats of tumblr#kitty#forgiveness#i forgive you#good omens meta#ineffable heartbreak#i wish you all the best#love#i love you#i miss you#feelings#grief is weird#self love#love quotes#life#feel#writing#writer stuff
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i told my best friend i was in love with you and she responded "you can't unlock a door he didn't give you the key for." i feel like someone needs to hear that.
#kay'smidnightramblings#poetry#i love him#creative writing#evermore#folklore#dark academia#just thinking#late night thoughts#prose#longing#feelings#love language#love quotes#missing you#lost love#unrequited love#spilled feelings#emotions#thoughts#deep thoughts#heartbreak#emotional#heartbroken#you broke my heart#breakup#writers#writers and poets#female writers#writer stuff
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this cage that i am trapped in
is made of your ribs
#poetry#i miss you#heartache#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#writing#snippet#loss#shorts#longing#strong lover#i still love you#writer stuff#female writers#sad writing#heartbroken#heartbreak#loneliest#writeblr#writerscommunity
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My eyes swelled with tears. A sad song about a girl not being enough for a boy played from the radio. Signs for your former city whizzed by, and you emerged in my thoughts like you do best. I couldn't listen to the song for long. I couldn't read the signs, either. I suppose there's no timeline on healing a broken heart. But I'll admit that every time I think I've checked out of the rose tinted Heartbreak Hotel, my room welcomes me back with open arms.
#photography#retro#vintage#photographer#writing#writer#bnwphotography#bnw photography#bnw#black and white photography#black and white#snow#winter aesthetic#winter#writer stuff#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#writeblr#writerscommunity#heart break#heartbroken#heartbreak#breakup#i miss him#i miss you#i love him
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#poetry#actually bpd#bpd#bpd culture is#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#boys are stupid#i hate it here#i loved him#lettersfromscarlett#writers and poets#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#writing#right place wrong person#writer stuff#i hate men#i hate this#i hate him#i miss you#franz kafka#i love you#toxic love#spilled ink#sadgirl#heartache#heartbreak#love couple#sad poem#sad poetry
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love is honestly so amazing. the fact that it can exist is sometimes worth pondering. olympic medalists turn not towards the camera when they win but to their loved ones in the stands. my aunt (who is a heart surgeon) got out of a fifteen-hour long procedure and called my uncle first thing. my dad (6’2) doesn’t hesitate to kill bugs high up on walls for my mom (5’4). my best friend started working out just to be able to go the gym with her girlfriend. love, guys.
#kay'smidnightramblings#poetry#i love him#evermore#creative writing#folklore#dark academia#just thinking#late night thoughts#prose#lost love#love quotes#lovers#love#feelings#love language#longing#missing you#i i love him#heartbreak#heartbroken#you broke my heart#breakup#writers#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets#female writers#writeblr#writer stuff
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at least let me close my eyes before you walk away
#i miss you#heartache#writers and poets#writing#snippet#writers on tumblr#loss#shorts#longing#sad writing#sad poetry#sadgirl#sad thoughts#sad quotes#quotes#female writers#heartbreak#writeblr#writerscommunity#writer stuff#grieving love#grieving#sad poem
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RLY EXCITING STUFF i got to be on parttime tooth fairy duty for the first time ^_^
#the tooth fairy missed little mans tooth yesterday and the same thing happened last time so he was quite upset#so i covered really quickly and said that our old tooth fairy (her name was willow) had taken on an apprentice but she wasnt quite used#to the job yet. and then i helped my mom pick out ribbons and stuff 4 the note#a d im super excited to see his reaction :] bc i used to be so happy whenever we got notes from the tooth fairy#when i was little i would write notes like interrogating her sbt what it was like being a toothfairy#and lamp wasnt good at writing so i had to write all their notes as well#and ya. so im just happy that i get 2 do that 4 him#i actually DID THE DROP and then found out that the teeth just get thrown in the trash. HEARTBREAKING#my mom said 'everyone ive spoken to whose parents kept them said they were weirded out' but i wouldve een sooo ecstatic. i could make like a#tooth necklace or something itd be sick... so im keeping them for my kids and itll just depend on if they grow up normal or not i guess.#BUT YA. it was just rly funny and i also literally had a moment of realization after i asked my mom what to do with the tooth#where i was like I just wasnt sure its my first time being the tooth fairy so theres a lot to learn . and rhen i literally gasped and went#oh my god im the apprentice tooth fairy .#we named her ivy bc mine nd lamps toothfairy was named willow so we wanted another tree name#so we figured ivy would work well bc itll be easy for him to sound out and spell if he wants to write a note to her next time he loses a#tooth#im just excited. and hes finally back on a sleep schedule which is huge my parents dont rly enforce anything#but me and lamp worked a bit on getting him back on a schedule sonce school is back on#and he like pretty voluntarily went to bed at around 930#:] so im happy abt that.
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“to be loved by a writer”, but i can never speak of the pages i filled about what you meant to me in all the words i could and i never even got the chance to give it to you.
#writing#writers on tumblr#love#heartbreak#i plan to post poetry and other stuff but this was a thought that’s been stuck in my mind for so long#i miss them#i miss how we used to be.#i hate change
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~
#hi everyone update abt my crush. i'm over it. life is so beautiful when you aren't obsessed with one person.#all i had to do was watch one episode of [redacted] and go. damn. this is the stuff ur into. ok. bye.#going to watch i'm in love with the villianess to cure the mild heartbreak i'm going through from being unwell for the past week#(i will miss the incredibly rare motivation i was having to write 😔 but i will live)#they speak!
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January 18, 2024
#babydownbad#personal blog#personal writing#healing through words#prose poetry#heartbreak#i made dis#word vomit#my writing#i still write about you#writers of tumblr#trying to heal#self healing#i miss you#sadgirlhours#prose writing#writers on tumblr#ouch my heart#relatable stuff#i still love you#late night thoughts#i’m just a girl
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hot girls fall asleep scrolling on tumblr
#h-o-t? thats a weird way to spell mentally ill#ive been feeling extra sad tbh#i miss my friends that dont go to the same school as me#and i can feel myself doing what i did a few years ago where i shut everyone out#i dont talk to people unless they talk to me first#i was to socialize but im too tired and i feel like everyones judging me#but today in a big gc of my friends three of them randomly said really nice things about me and it literally made mee cry#im fine but so sad also#urgh i just cant. started thinking about an old friend im done for#i havent spoken directly to her in too long and the thought makes me want to bawl my eyes out#we talked aaaallll the time all day every day#and then she just moved on#its heartbreaking for me tbh#i loved her#i still do#god. GOD!#anyways#im done using tumblr as my diary now thanks#i started writing in my journal again its nice but also sad to reread old stuff#when i get sad i think about her
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brutus: out for blood (villain au concept)
ft. neglectful yandere! bruce wayne x gn villain! reader
— masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: did anybody ask for this? no! did i decide to write this anyways? abso -fucking-lutely. is this a rantfic? mayybee. anyways, this is not my best piece nor will anything i write be my best piece but i just love destroying my happiness with angst and altho writing a very anxiety ridden mc is fun, i also love to dabble in sadomasochistic traits for a main character. like i said, i am not proud of this but i figured i should post something. erm... leave comments bec i love reading whatever stuff u guys have in store hehe.
you've tasted blood on your tongue far longer than you've felt the loving touch of a family.
it's metallic. it's salty. it twists every vein in your gut.
it tastes of broken metal pipes in playgrounds, destructive tantrums and broken dreams, of skipped classes and detention rooms, of ripped test papers and missed diplomas. it reminds you of your bitter past every single time; one you swore you've buried six feet deep into the ground. a burning memory with nothing more than heartaches and heartbreaks.
you taste blood whenever they reject your advances for even a single moment of bonding time. you feel it pumping slowly, steadily, painfully whenever you stumble upon a room, only to see them, smiles and all, huddled together in a group with junk food in their hands and a movie playing in that stupid flat screen tv. you know it's the only thing accompanying you whenever he misses another event in your school. it becomes the only friend you have whenever you're alone, inside your too-small room, with shatters glass scattered around and bruised knuckles.
blood, for most, is vile, utterly repulsive. it reeks in every corner of a room, its scent is overpowering, it stains, it's hard to clean. it imprints. and it will always remind you it's there, in the depths of your body, curdling and boiling and ready to burst out of the seems every time you rip at your skin with a razor sharp blade. blood has always been your only friend, like a scar that will never fade away.
yet you embrace crimson like it was the color of your soul, and accept how it's the only color you allow in your grim life. black has never provided you solace, but red allowed for a mantra of emotions to trail into your very being.
blood. it's more homely than you let it out to be.
and you're far more familiar with it than anything else. you cradle it like an unwanted child, you kiss its wounds, allow it to fester and grow into an abhorrent disease that crawls like a lump in your throat that you could never get rid of.
in moments of solace, of quaint prayers and hours of kneeling into the floor— it is the thing that slides on cold, hard tiles. it is the warmth, the numbness, the thing that seeps out of your bruised knees, your scratched neck and your thighs with fingernails buried deep into flesh.
you've come to love blood, cherish it even.
especially if it's your own.
especially if it came from the punch of none other than your father.
left, right, left, right.
his punches were cruel and his kicks can easily crush bones into powder. he demands answers with every strike he delivers, he exudes an energy far more adrenaline based than yours. batman is methodical in the way he moves, the way he acts, and you're not; you're impulsive, you had no plans to counter the towering man— no counter for the brutal hits he lay upon you. you let him, you open every doorway world to beat your body black and blue, with red painting the canvas as a finishing touch.
he's stronger than you, and every time he bashes your head into the wall, the urge to spit into his face, to piss him off, to laugh at him and his Idiocracy; it all becomes stronger.
yet all you do was allow him multiple openings, denying yourself the pleasure of attempting to even take your abandoned gun at the corner and shoot at his cranium— you want him to suffer, even if it costs you your mobility by the near future, fuck it.
up, down, to the side, then an uppercut to your jaw and you're nearly depleted of anymore moves to counter. you want to seem like you've given up; but you want him pissed off, enough to punch you 'til blood seeps into the fibers of your mask. until your face starts bruising, until your nose breaks, until he finally rips your mask off and sees your face.
and he'll come to regret.
you shift to the side, and ignore the sting of your throat, the lull of your head and the soreness of your entire body.
because if you hadn't dodged, then your head would've left an imprint on the walls. you would've preferred that now, rather than the disgusting feeling of sentimentality that creeps into your heart at the implication that his blows were slowly, but surely, weakening.
he's holding back, you hold back a sneer.
as if he actually cares about you.
maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. you know he cares far more deeply for his enemies than he does you, and you hate how glad you are at the pride that finally, just finally are you being acknowledged. at the opposite end of his side, as enemies. but for once you can feel the care he offers others, most of which were nonexistent back when you were just some... nobody.
batman never kills; but he can hurt, he can injure, and he can destroy. and right now, you feel all the air leaving your body as the cloaked vigilante delivers the last punch to your ribcage.
you fall, on your hands and knees, a loud thump resounding through the empty abandoned building. all you hear are your crackling joints, and heavy breathing. heavy, like your eyelids, about to fall, about to shut until black encompasses your vision. if not for the remaining adrenaline coursing through your veins, you would've fainted— but you won't, you wouldn't, not until you see him, see his face.
the thumping in your heart beats louder, and your hands. god, they feel like jelly, it's burning, it's one step closer on collapsing under gravelly concrete and piercing skin into rocks. yet you're forbidden any time for grace, not when he lightly shoves you out of your position, and not when you fall to your sides, hands paralyzed, tears prickling against your cheeks at the pain that burns throughout your body.
"you don't deserve peace after shooting that family in front of that child, you know it."
his voice, domineering, absolutely fucking vibrating with a tremor of sheer anger. he directs his words at you, without empathy, without mercy. he wants you to learn to never mess with him in the streets of gotham. but you'll never... not until he notices you. fuck, you just want him to notice you. and now, he is, with utter vexation that causes a lump in your throat to form.
shit, you've never felt so happy.
it's when his tussled form — heavy, pitch-black boots slathered with crimson liquid — enters your sight that you cough, violently, out of breath, and you can feel it one second, then taste it in your tongue the next.
blood.
you grin, and slowly, ever-so eminently, did you spiral into a cackle. your throat gurgles crimson liquid, and yet it only builds into a cacophony of a broken record. you move your head, look through your nearly shredded domino mask, with so little strength to accompany you, to look at the man above you, eyes glinting with a glow never so alive until now.
you're genuinely so fucking happy.
batman, he who strikes fear into the hearts of gotham villains and civilians alike. he who protects the city at night. he whose name is said with wavering uncertainty— he's looking at you, only you.
'bruce wayne: my dad— is finally looking at me.'
and you! you're laughing, the sounds that emanate from your throat are so scratchy, so utterly decimated that it sounds like vultures feeding through a dead corpse; but you don't let your chuckles die down, because you're so, so happy.
he looks at you, with contempt, with disgust, you don't know; but you're still so overjoyed.
"y-yeah... it's me, i did it. are you proud of me...?" you ask as you look up, through the tears that flow out your eyes, through the grin that couldn't die down. he looks at you like you're insane, and you know he's confused, shifting uncomfortably as he gives someone a status update through the comms, his eyes never leaving your pathetic form—
you look at him like he means the world all throughout.
"call for red robin, i have one of the culprits," he orders through the intangible device, eyes squinting as he takes you in— you whose chuckles slowly calmed down, as your breathing finally becomes heavier, as blood, yours, seem to seep into clumsily made apparel. you, who bruce realized seem too oddly familiar, too small, too childish, whose moment of spiraling insanity is too damn innocent to ignore.
you're not like the typical rogue he encounters, no. and right before you finally allow sleep to overcome you, you muster the last of your energy, to stare back at him with shining eyes, expectant, and like a child's, you ask with the meekest voice.
"hey... dad, i have a surprise." scratchy, absolutely broken, yet spilling with joy, with... your last word right before you continue, bruce's heart thumps ever the slightest faster.
"take my mask off, please?"
crimson began to overtake your entire body, and bruce should've never complied with your... request, but as he kneels and finally gets a grasp of what you truly look like, he notices the frailness, the vulnerability, as if you were never built for... combat. with just how quickly you succumb to the depths of rest, with how oblivious you are to the fact that if it were anyone else, they would've killed you.
you're not properly trained, you fight out of impulse, and he knows it with just how swift you gave up midfight.
when he pulls the domino mask (which seems oddly inspired by the shape of... his vigilante partners, the robins...) off your face, did his heart finally hastened its pace, loud thumping crawling its way to his ears, his eyes registering your face: its form, its shape, your eyes, your nose—
all similar to his, all an amalgamation of your mother's, too.
no... wait, no.
it's not...
it's not his... child?
you?
your eyes, flickering one last time stared at him, softly, like that of a child who looks at their father with pride like nothing else. your hand, it shakes, it shivers, as your fingers find its way creeping to his hand, holding your mask. fingers so dainty, now pulverized bones lay atop his shivering hand, tenderly, as if trying to comfort the very same man who has nearly killed you.
batman— no, bruce looks at you. at what he's done, and only now did he realize his greatest mistake. a child, his child, one whose innocence retained through heinous acts, now a villain, whose actions were all a testimony to merely wanting their father's attention.
he failed you, his child. he failed to protect you, who he has never held up close until now— as your body is hastily taken into his arms. so small, so easily wrapped around his body, so unbefitting of committing criminal activity. now bloodied and laid into barren ground by their very own father.
bruce wayne never felt this much terror, for nearly killing his child.
this, this day marks his sin.
and you? dearest you feel like today is your greatest day.
crimson, nearly every part of you is stained with that putrid color.
yet blood has always been your best friend, no? and right now as you bleed into the arms of your father, you find yourself grateful that it is the last thing you see before a black cloak wraps around you, before black fills your entire line of sight.
short rant ahead: another author's note??? wow. yeah this was such a hard drabble to write. plsplspls leave a comment or some sort of input. anything will do. ive been so demotivated to write lately and i feel like anything i write is just, so bad 😭 like is my pacing good? are the emotions out of place? am i even doing this right ?? i don't know, and i feel like every time i post something i always put up expectations on myself that I should've done better so yeahh. is this attention seeking behavior? probably. but i don't get how people have come to like the stuff i write when i hate whatever i write hence why im in a constant cycle of hiatuses and short breaks. and really, it's just so hard to come into terms with things and i need input lest i accidentally get into a year or two of hiatus, lmaoo.
#🌷... yael's works#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#concept: brutus#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere angst#platonic yandere#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n
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omg can we please get Christmas/holidays headcanons with older gf caitlyn as someone who never got anything growing up ☹️ because parents are YUCKYY and Caitlyn only just now finds out about it and is like "oh so thats a reason as to why youre still so reluctant to accept my gifts and stuff" and she comforts the us so much and SPOILS US ☹️☹️🙏 (also if you can include pet names where she's always saying 'my' like 'my sweet girl' 'my princess' 'my love/darling' 'my pretty girl' 'my girl' 'my babydoll' etc stuff like that 🙏 then that would be great THANK YOU)
❅ IS IT NEW YEARS YET ? ft. 𝓬𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓵𝔂𝓷 𝓴𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷.
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༯ summary. your older girlfriend asks you to spend your first christmas together. of course you excitedly accept, trying to push ignore that you'd have to break this news to your parents.
warnings. fluff. slight angst. fem!reader. older girlfriend!caitlyn. reader is in college. age gap (10 years or more). no use of y/n. modern au. hurt and comfort. pet names. caitlyn is nervy teehee. reading is a tease. insecure!reader a little bit. readers parents are the best. not proofread. wc. 2.2k
a/n. thank you for your request alaina pie <3 this was so cute (and sad) to write for, especially during the holidays! hopefully this is what you envisioned and i tried to incorporate "my (nickname)" as naturally as possible. remember to support your writers by reblogging & commenting !
m.list. | arcane m.list.
‣ caitlyn wasn't oblivious to the way the pair of arms slung around her waist would tighten whenever you thought she’d be the be first to let go. or how you always pressed your face further into her chest, an ear aligned to where her heartbeats for you, as if you’re trying to encode the rhythm into your memory. and the most heartbreaking, how when you finally release her from the hug and meet her gaze there’s tears daring to spill from your waterline, eyes glazed over and a forced upturned smile to show that you’re fine. she knew that you were going home to see your family for the holidays, that it would be a joyous thing, something that you’re bouncing off the walls for, you rarely see your family much since moving out permanently. but the wreck you become when you go home startles her, and she knows it’s far more than you missing her for a few weeks.
‣ not much can set caitlyn on edge, but the nerves of asking if you’d like to spend christmas with her, just her, no parent, certainly sets her off.
clicks and clanks fill the room mixing with the content of the two of you enjoying yet another home cooked meal made by caitlyn. you’d just resumed classes from fall break when she called you asking for dinner and a weekend together, you agreed, of course.
looking from across the dining table cait’s brows are furrowed as she pushes the remanence of her food back and forth on her plate. she’s clear in deep thought and has been quiet for most of the evening which is unlike her. the stoic stature she puts on for work quickly fades away the moment her eyes land on you and she becomes the familiar chatter bug you know and love.
your clothed foot searches for hers underneath the table, and when it does you bump into it, your foot tickling up her ankle. upon this intrusion cait’s attention focuses on you, her eyebrows lifting and a small smile forming on her face, her eyes lifting from her plate, the foot you attacked fights back.
“you're quiet tonight.” you begin.
“i've been meaning to ask you something.”
oh. straight to the point.
as if cait could sense your panic, her foot stops wrestling with yours, instead laying it to rest against yours in hope you would stop too. “it’s nothing bad, i promise,” she rushes. “i maybe shouldn't have worded it bluntly.” grimacing at the worry she enacted in you.
“you think? nearly gave me a heart attack.” your wild thoughts nearly get the best of you.
“it's just,” cait pauses, gathering her thoughts. “it's a huge step in our relationship.”
“we've already had sex, cait.” you joke, and caitlyn chokes on her spit at the shock of your dirty words. reaching out and takes a brief swig of water, her eyes narrow towards you. “‘m just playing with you. couldn't help myself.” you're once stilled foot becomes alive again, soothing up cait’s ankle to about mid calf before going back down and repeating the action.
she hums, setting her glass down. “such a dirty mind of yours.”
“and whose fault is that?” you argue. caitlyn corks an eyebrow up, challenging you at the next words to fall from your mouth. “you've created a crazed monster.” she couldn’t deny the sense of pride swirling throughout her chest at your words.
“minx.” she mutters, her lips twitch upward. it’s such a minuscule movement, blind to the normal eye, but apparent enough for you to catch.
for the first time in a hot minute you place your feet flat on the ground, placing your hands to the edge of the table, the screech of the chair against the wooden floors fills the room.
standing up and making your way towards caitlyn, around the corner of the table. satisfied when you spot that cait had already made space for you. when you're in reach a hand curls around your waist to pull you into her lap, much like how an owner pulls their cat to lay within their lap. slinging an arm around cait’s shoulder to the back of the chair, while your other hands rest on the back of her neck, her dark navy hair pulled into a ponytail so you're able to toy with the wisp of her baby hairs at the nape of her neck.
“did i ruin the mood?” you pout, a tinge of nervousness bubbling up once again that you had taken away caitlyn’s moment to be vulnerable.
“god, no. you've made the atmosphere lighter, darling.” she assures, giving your waist a small squeeze and flashing a tight lipped smile. there’s a glint behind her eyes that makes you doubt her words.
“for what you were going to ask me?”
caitlyn hums, her gaze flicking down to the hem of your sweater, taking the soft material between her perfectly manicured fingers, coming between her thumb and index finger to rub at the hem. “what i wanted to ask was if you’d be interested in spending christmas together,” bringing her full attention back up to your face, the glint now masked by the softness of her eyes. “just the two of us.”
you stare at your girlfriend with wide starstruck eyes, this is definitely—no doubt—a big step for your guys’ relationship. the only holidays you and caitlyn have spent together is, well, valentine’s day, and the cringey other dates throughout the year like national girlfriend day, dates that caitlyn hadn't known about before you. “just the two of us?” you grin.
“is that okay?” she mistakes your grin as a teasing grin, and although it slightly is one, it's a toothy grin that shows off your whites, pushing up your face and makes your cheeks hurt, in a good way.
“it's more than okay, i’d love to.”
now there’s a grin that mirrors your own, flashing you the tooth gap that you adore. her fingers release the hem of your sweater, sneaking underneath the material pulling you flesh against her. lips meeting into a tender needy kiss.
when you pull away, you rest your forehead on hers. “that’s what you were so nervous about?” you ask, corking your head to the side, amused at how nervous she was to ask you to spend your first big holiday together. finding her too cute.
“was scared you were going to say no.” she confesses, you kiss her again.
“i could never say no to you.” it's the truth, but there's a little looming thought forming over the top of your head; you'd have to figure out a way to break the news to your parents.
‣ that weekend you and caitlyn had decorated her house, pulling the boxes from out of the dark space within her house to settle them in the living room. putting on the charlie brown christmas album to add to the ambiance as the two of you get into the holiday spirit. fluffing out the pined branches of the false tree, the endeavor of adorning the green of the tree with the various decorations of lights, tinsel, and ornaments begin. when it's deemed almost perfect, caitlyn hands firmly grip onto your waist to help you balance yourself on a chair as you place the simply stunning gold star on top to finish the tree. when the sun sets and the moon illuminates the sky you yank caitlyn to the tree polaroid camera in hand, falling into natural position with each other; one picture smiling at the camera, snap! and another kissing as the lights wrapped around the tree create hazy glowing halos on top of your heads, snap!
‣ it seemed as though each time you visited caitlyn’s home the presents beneath the tree kept growing, all wrapped neat and crisp with little tags signaling that they're from cait herself. they made the small pile of presents dedicated to her from you look puny. she self admittedly spoils you often, it's one of her love languages; gift giving. she enjoys being the person who splurges on you, who gives into any little item you desire. in her eyes she's making up on all the times you decided not to get something, and with the amount of money she has in her bank account and all the charity and donations she does, she could get rid of some of the money rotting away, and who else better to spend it on than you? as much as she enjoys it, and as much as you're grateful for it all it's still something that's hard to digest. that someone is willingly spending their money on items and gifts for you, not out of circumstance or special occasion (although you guess christmas is a special occasion) but out of self want and love for you. it’s the side of a coin you've never seen before, coming from a family who was never as well off as the kiramman’s and being a child, and now an adult who still makes up the lavish gifts you can't afford with handcrafted gifts.
‣ you were running away, trying to escape the countdown to christmas day that was becoming shorter and shorter. still yet to inform your parents that you won't be home for christmas, dodging the question “what day will you be coming home?” whenever it’s brought up by either of them. even avoiding it whenever caitlyn asks how your parents took the news “uh, they don't know yet.”
well now they know. you hadn't planned on telling them today, you hadn't even planned on a day to tell them to be truthful. and now as you're curled up against caitlyn you're anything but focused on the movie that was put on.
“now you're the one being quiet.” caitlyn pipes out, recalling a few weeks ago to when you called her out on the same thing.
“my parents called before i came over,” your words prompt caitlyn to reach for the remote, clicking a button and pausing the movie. “i told them that i won't be home for christmas, or well they worked it out of me.”
from beside you cait sits up, disrupting your slumped figure to also sit up. “how’d they take it?”
“not well.” your response is short and to the point, and ‘not well’ is honestly the best way you could've said that they completely and utterly flipped out on you. eyes wandering around the room and passed caitlyn’s head to avoid making any form of eye contact with her. you already didn't cry on the phone with your parents; too used to their treatment, and you weren't going to break down now in front of your girlfriend.
however, caitlyn’s cerulean eyes bored into your avoidant form. “look at me, my darling.” her mellow tone contrast the brashness of your parents, the difference alone makes tears prickle along your waterline. swiftly tucking your head over your shoulder, shielding yourself from caitlyn’s gaze, knowing that if you dared to look at her, tears would come pouring down your cheeks in thick streams.
“darling,” a cool hand raising to caress at your warm cheek, trying to get you to unveil yourself to her. “look at me, please.” shutting your eyes you let the hand on your cheek move your face for you, not strong enough to do it yourself. it's quiet at this point, and you know now that you're “looking” at caitlyn, or well caitlyn is looking at you; feeling defeated at the quickness of your strong facade washing away, tears wetting your cheeks.
“open your eyes, love.”
“i didn't think they'd be that upset.” you sigh, letting the words fall from your mouth, still keeping your eyes shut tight.
“oh, darling—”
you cut cait off. “please. don't pitty me, cait.” a moment of silence passes and you open your eyes, being met with caitlyn’s. she wants to speak up, wants to console you, but she knows you need to get it out of your system. “there's no use for my tears over them. they’ve always been the same and will stay the same, it's been that way for years. don't even know why they're so upset over me not coming home, i’ll just end up being ignored anyway.” you explained, feeling your walls being built back up as you become defensive over the topic of your parents and their not—so—nurturing nature towards you.
there's a beat before caitlyn fully gathers what she wants to say. “i’m not pitying you, darling. you’ve never spoken of your parents behavior towards you before, but i've noticed how you mood dulls whenever you go home. it's clear that being around your family drains you while they don't even give you a second thought. it's not fair to you.”
the hand on your cheek remained, sliding down the column of your neck to rest, her thumb rubbing at your jaw, her other hand coming up to the same position and matching the action of the other. the sincerity of her words cause even more hot tears to rush down from your eyes. “you deserve the utmost respect and love.”
it eats you alive, but you must ask, hanging your head low. “you really think that?” tone hushed and meek.
“respect and love?” she questions, her own tone matching yours because just as much as you're intuned with her she's intuned with you and what you need. watching as your head reluctantly nods. and once again she utilizes her hands on your face to push your head up, allowing her to see you in all your puffy faces glory.
“my darling, i believe you deserve the world.”
#𓊆 𝓐 writes. 𓊇#caitlynྀི txt.#older gf!caitlyn.#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane fluff#arcane angst#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn kiramman fluff#caitlyn kiramman x you#caitlyn kiramman x reader#lesbian#wlw
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i need college roommate!abby who def plays some sort of sport n always has girls stumbling out her room in the morning. she has no shame ab it too. she acts all jocky n stuff but she’s actually js a sweetheart who has emotional issues 💔
yours truly, -𐦖
hell yea !! this is an anon req but honestly i kinda wanna turn it into a series, so this could be like a “pilot” chapter jus’ giving the gist of things that’ll happen throughout the series. unless you guys think this is absolute shit, i dunno i write for you guys so let me know what you want! anyway, enough yap more reading !!
heartbreaker | a.a
before you even enter the dorm room, a brunette haired girl shoves through the door giggling. her hair is all messed up and her shirt is on backwards, then hearing abby call out, “text me later gorgeous! miss ya already!” you roll your eyes at the sight. it’s pathetic really, can she do anything else besides having a new girl to smash in the dorm every 2 days?
once you actually make your way inside, you call out to abby, “abs that was the 3rd one this week and it’s only thursday you cannot be serious.” you scoff, dropping your bag on the floor. “you’re right, i’m not serious. they’re just quick fucks it helps to build up the stamina ya’know?” she quips, flexing her muscles in the mirror. honestly, you’re way to busy to be worrying about who your roommate is fucking every day. you lost count after that one girl came over. what was her name? nina? nora?
as you began preparing your shower, making sure you have everything you need. your mind begins to wonder. why does abby switch out girls like they’re trading cards. is it really just to build her stamina? you wouldn’t be surprised if it was, she is all about building muscle and shit. or maybe it’s something deeper? like she uses it as a distraction to cover up her feelings.
before you spiral too deep into your thoughts, abby’s voice breaks through the silence, “you’ve been silent for quite some time now. you jealous?” she teases, turning away from the mirror with that stupid smug grin plastered across her face. you scoff, continuing to pack everything you need before you head down to the showers. “jealous of what? the revolving door of girls you got coming in and out like it’s a damn sport?”
abby shrugs, completely unbothered by the statement — after all, she is the basketball varsity team captain. “mm—nah, they know the deal. no promises, no feelings. though i do think that last girl was feelin’ some type of way. i dunno the bitch tried to kiss me.” she brushes it off like it’s nothing, tossing a stress ball up into the air and catching it repeatedly. “you’re a real interesting kind of person, anderson.” you turn to leave, ready to drop the conversation entirely, but the thought from earlier lingers in your mind. is she doing it for fun or to cope?
“hey um,” you hesitate on asking the question but you know if you don’t now, it’ll keep wracking your brain until you do. “does doing any of that actually make you happy or is it just a way of ya’know avoiding stuff.” for a brief moment, abby doesn’t respond. her expression falters slightly but she covers it up with a casual laugh, tossing a pillow at you. “gosh those psychology classes must be really payin’ off. i’m good, nothing — nothing to worry about.” she assures, returning to her usual jock, assholeish self.
but you don’t miss that flicker in her eyes, like there was something wanting to be said but just couldn’t. you know abby has to struggle with some stuff, i mean always wanting to be the overachiever has to come from something, right? you don’t push her though. instead, you grab your shower caddy and head toward to door, pausing to say, “whatever you say abby. just take care of yourself.”
#𐙚 ﹒ writing#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson smut#abby smut#abby the last of us#abby tlou#abby x reader#tlou smut#lesbian#arcane
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