#I miss writing heartbreaking stuff
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I will take a break from writing smut once kinktober is over. I will take a break by writing angst
#jokes aside I'm so exhausted of writing smut#I need my dose of angst#I just love angst so much#I miss writing heartbreaking stuff#eyeless talks
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blame means you are hurt, hurt is anger, anger is grief, grief is love or a lack thereof
#sotce#self care#poem#prose#sotce inspired#girblogger#just girly thoughts#poetry#positive mental attitude#plants#cat#black cat#cats of tumblr#kitty#forgiveness#i forgive you#good omens meta#ineffable heartbreak#i wish you all the best#love#i love you#i miss you#feelings#grief is weird#self love#love quotes#life#feel#writing#writer stuff
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i told my best friend i was in love with you and she responded "you can't unlock a door he didn't give you the key for." i feel like someone needs to hear that.
#kay'smidnightramblings#poetry#i love him#creative writing#evermore#folklore#dark academia#just thinking#late night thoughts#prose#longing#feelings#love language#love quotes#missing you#lost love#unrequited love#spilled feelings#emotions#thoughts#deep thoughts#heartbreak#emotional#heartbroken#you broke my heart#breakup#writers#writers and poets#female writers#writer stuff
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harper mclean they could never make me hate you more than I hate dusty AMEN
#yall need to leave harper alone *please*#dusty is so much worse I could write an ESSAY about it#dusty needs to be field tackled and turned into a side character only used for people to yell at <3#also why are yall calling spider racist 😭like ableist & misogynistic yea makes sense but racist?? Idk I didn’t pick that up#but also I’ve watched the show twice in full and still picked up on new stuff going back and scrolling through the eps so maybe I missed it#also the more rewatches I do the less I hate harper cause girl is a VICTIM!!!!#this fandom is so messy for how small it is#shitpost#heartbreak high#harper mclean
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listen if I’m over here writing a sequel to my sidsledge fic from four years ago THAT NO ONE ASKED ME FOR THEN DON’T JUDGE ME esp cause it’s going horribly so far someone tell this girl she can’t write
#I was literally reading a bangtan fic and I was struck with the idea and it’s not even related#like the fic was about fucking figure skating and I was just like HOLY SHIT I NEED TO WRITE SIDSLEDGE!!!!!#anyway hi I’m sorry I haven’t been around if anyone is still there lmao#im going through it like TSwift in “I can do it with a broken heart’ minus the heartbreak#and yknow being on a world tour and being successful#okay so it’s basically just the depressed part that I relate to but I DIGRESS#I just miss sidsledge bye#television: the pacific#the pacific#sidsledge#*h says stuff
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you took half of me. Could you leave it, and go back to when we were speaking?
-405 by Gracie Abrams
#writers and readers#adult human female#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#fanfic writer#fanfiction writer#female writers#women writers#queer writers#writer stuff#writer problems#writer things#writers and poets#writers block#writerscorner#writerscreed#writerblr#writerslife#writing blog#creative writing#heartbreak#beauttiful girls#books & libraries#books and coffee#books#books and literature#books and reading#booksarelife#alt girl#i miss you
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Hold me again
I would like to say I enjoy being alone,
For a while I really thought I did.
The peacefulness of nothing becomes louder than you ever could be, oh so quickly.
The sound only of my heart racing as I think of you.
The noise deafening of each thought I feel grow.
I’m not alone, I’m not. At least it will never sound like it.
But I miss that warmth that you bring.
I miss that feeling of touch on my skin.
I miss the quiet you create in my brain.
I missed you.
I miss you.
#poetry#dark academia#poems#I miss you#hold me#love#heartbreak#lonely#please#writing#words and stuff#I tried
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I made a promise to myself 4 years ago, that I wouldn’t ever do myself the injustice of speaking when I don’t feel heard ever again. I’ve come to realize that I silenced myself- the greatest injustice of all. All those years I felt I had no place in the world, all those things I could’ve said- would’ve said if I had the slightest understanding of difference in every situation I am placed in.
All I know now, is that there’s no use in dwelling the things that could’ve been, or how much better things would be had I felt validation… I just want to feel the way I did on that road trip for the rest of my life.
If only I could sum up in words how my heart beats faster when I hear her name, or how my chest gets tight when I feel her sadness, or how confident I feel when she says I can do something, or how happy I can be even when she’s not around cause I know she’s there… I’m given the chance of a life time right in this moment in time… and I want to be better than yesterday and i wanna be worse today than tomorrow, and I wanna be the perfect one for her in my future.
Living without her, doesn’t feel like living at all. So with that in mind I tell myself- DONT FUCK IT UP.
#love quotes#heartbreak quotes#love poem#life quotes#book quotations#book quotes#spilled ink#spilled quotes#soulmate quotes#prose poetry#poetic#lovely#i love you#in love#i miss you#i miss her#messy aesthetic#messy layouts#off my meds#mental health#mindset#peots on tumblr#random#original poetry#poet#i wrote it#wtf is wrong with me#free write#i wrote this for you#writing stuff
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RLY EXCITING STUFF i got to be on parttime tooth fairy duty for the first time ^_^
#the tooth fairy missed little mans tooth yesterday and the same thing happened last time so he was quite upset#so i covered really quickly and said that our old tooth fairy (her name was willow) had taken on an apprentice but she wasnt quite used#to the job yet. and then i helped my mom pick out ribbons and stuff 4 the note#a d im super excited to see his reaction :] bc i used to be so happy whenever we got notes from the tooth fairy#when i was little i would write notes like interrogating her sbt what it was like being a toothfairy#and lamp wasnt good at writing so i had to write all their notes as well#and ya. so im just happy that i get 2 do that 4 him#i actually DID THE DROP and then found out that the teeth just get thrown in the trash. HEARTBREAKING#my mom said 'everyone ive spoken to whose parents kept them said they were weirded out' but i wouldve een sooo ecstatic. i could make like a#tooth necklace or something itd be sick... so im keeping them for my kids and itll just depend on if they grow up normal or not i guess.#BUT YA. it was just rly funny and i also literally had a moment of realization after i asked my mom what to do with the tooth#where i was like I just wasnt sure its my first time being the tooth fairy so theres a lot to learn . and rhen i literally gasped and went#oh my god im the apprentice tooth fairy .#we named her ivy bc mine nd lamps toothfairy was named willow so we wanted another tree name#so we figured ivy would work well bc itll be easy for him to sound out and spell if he wants to write a note to her next time he loses a#tooth#im just excited. and hes finally back on a sleep schedule which is huge my parents dont rly enforce anything#but me and lamp worked a bit on getting him back on a schedule sonce school is back on#and he like pretty voluntarily went to bed at around 930#:] so im happy abt that.
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“to be loved by a writer”, but i can never speak of the pages i filled about what you meant to me in all the words i could and i never even got the chance to give it to you.
#writing#writers on tumblr#love#heartbreak#i plan to post poetry and other stuff but this was a thought that’s been stuck in my mind for so long#i miss them#i miss how we used to be.#i hate change
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love is honestly so amazing. the fact that it can exist is sometimes worth pondering. olympic medalists turn not towards the camera when they win but to their loved ones in the stands. my aunt (who is a heart surgeon) got out of a fifteen-hour long procedure and called my uncle first thing. my dad (6’2) doesn’t hesitate to kill bugs high up on walls for my mom (5’4). my best friend started working out just to be able to go the gym with her girlfriend. love, guys.
#kay'smidnightramblings#poetry#i love him#evermore#creative writing#folklore#dark academia#just thinking#late night thoughts#prose#lost love#love quotes#lovers#love#feelings#love language#longing#missing you#i i love him#heartbreak#heartbroken#you broke my heart#breakup#writers#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets#female writers#writeblr#writer stuff
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This kind of sadness, it’s different.
I don’t know how to explain this otherwise… I am a sad person. I’ve accepted that but it doesn’t make me dread it any less.
I stare at the ceiling at night and instead of counting sheep I’ve counted the ones who have come and gone in my life- you… i count more than once. Why you may wonder? Because having you drift away from me so slowly and watching you go on being okay, feels far more daunting than anyone who’s left me before.
I find myself basking in the hurt and the darkness, I talk to myself in my head as if I am my only friend. I wanna do what I do best and pretend. I so desperately need it even- but I can’t force myself to shove the feelings deep down inside until they dissipate. Until I become who I once was before you. What if I don’t wanna be who I was? What if I’m so hung up on this feeling that I have towards you that I never really come back? What if my entire existence has disappeared and I’m stuck thinking about you forever?
I dont know much in this moment of time but i can surly say; this kind of sadness is different.
Trey K
I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me. Always.
Spike Jonze / Her
#her#text#quote#quotes#love#love quotes#life quotes#relationship#realtionship quotes#life#i dont fucking know#i am done#mental health#spilled words#words words words#isn't 'don't leave me alone with myself' another way of saying#poetic#poet#free write#writeaway#we used to have it so good#i wrote it#writing stuff#original poem#loss#i need a break#i miss you#tumblr milestone#not pro just using tags#heartbreak
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~
#hi everyone update abt my crush. i'm over it. life is so beautiful when you aren't obsessed with one person.#all i had to do was watch one episode of [redacted] and go. damn. this is the stuff ur into. ok. bye.#going to watch i'm in love with the villianess to cure the mild heartbreak i'm going through from being unwell for the past week#(i will miss the incredibly rare motivation i was having to write 😔 but i will live)#they speak!
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January 18, 2024
#babydownbad#personal blog#personal writing#healing through words#prose poetry#heartbreak#i made dis#word vomit#my writing#i still write about you#writers of tumblr#trying to heal#self healing#i miss you#sadgirlhours#prose writing#writers on tumblr#ouch my heart#relatable stuff#i still love you#late night thoughts#i’m just a girl
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hot girls fall asleep scrolling on tumblr
#h-o-t? thats a weird way to spell mentally ill#ive been feeling extra sad tbh#i miss my friends that dont go to the same school as me#and i can feel myself doing what i did a few years ago where i shut everyone out#i dont talk to people unless they talk to me first#i was to socialize but im too tired and i feel like everyones judging me#but today in a big gc of my friends three of them randomly said really nice things about me and it literally made mee cry#im fine but so sad also#urgh i just cant. started thinking about an old friend im done for#i havent spoken directly to her in too long and the thought makes me want to bawl my eyes out#we talked aaaallll the time all day every day#and then she just moved on#its heartbreaking for me tbh#i loved her#i still do#god. GOD!#anyways#im done using tumblr as my diary now thanks#i started writing in my journal again its nice but also sad to reread old stuff#when i get sad i think about her
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brutus: out for blood (villain au concept)
ft. neglectful yandere! bruce wayne x gn villain! reader
— masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: did anybody ask for this? no! did i decide to write this anyways? abso -fucking-lutely. is this a rantfic? mayybee. anyways, this is not my best piece nor will anything i write be my best piece but i just love destroying my happiness with angst and altho writing a very anxiety ridden mc is fun, i also love to dabble in sadomasochistic traits for a main character. like i said, i am not proud of this but i figured i should post something. erm... leave comments bec i love reading whatever stuff u guys have in store hehe.
you've tasted blood on your tongue far longer than you've felt the loving touch of a family.
it's metallic. it's salty. it twists every vein in your gut.
it tastes of broken metal pipes in playgrounds, destructive tantrums and broken dreams, of skipped classes and detention rooms, of ripped test papers and missed diplomas. it reminds you of your bitter past every single time; one you swore you've buried six feet deep into the ground. a burning memory with nothing more than heartaches and heartbreaks.
you taste blood whenever they reject your advances for even a single moment of bonding time. you feel it pumping slowly, steadily, painfully whenever you stumble upon a room, only to see them, smiles and all, huddled together in a group with junk food in their hands and a movie playing in that stupid flat screen tv. you know it's the only thing accompanying you whenever he misses another event in your school. it becomes the only friend you have whenever you're alone, inside your too-small room, with shatters glass scattered around and bruised knuckles.
blood, for most, is vile, utterly repulsive. it reeks in every corner of a room, its scent is overpowering, it stains, it's hard to clean. it imprints. and it will always remind you it's there, in the depths of your body, curdling and boiling and ready to burst out of the seems every time you rip at your skin with a razor sharp blade. blood has always been your only friend, like a scar that will never fade away.
yet you embrace crimson like it was the color of your soul, and accept how it's the only color you allow in your grim life. black has never provided you solace, but red allowed for a mantra of emotions to trail into your very being.
blood. it's more homely than you let it out to be.
and you're far more familiar with it than anything else. you cradle it like an unwanted child, you kiss its wounds, allow it to fester and grow into an abhorrent disease that crawls like a lump in your throat that you could never get rid of.
in moments of solace, of quaint prayers and hours of kneeling into the floor— it is the thing that slides on cold, hard tiles. it is the warmth, the numbness, the thing that seeps out of your bruised knees, your scratched neck and your thighs with fingernails buried deep into flesh.
you've come to love blood, cherish it even.
especially if it's your own.
especially if it came from the punch of none other than your father.
left, right, left, right.
his punches were cruel and his kicks can easily crush bones into powder. he demands answers with every strike he delivers, he exudes an energy far more adrenaline based than yours. batman is methodical in the way he moves, the way he acts, and you're not; you're impulsive, you had no plans to counter the towering man— no counter for the brutal hits he lay upon you. you let him, you open every doorway world to beat your body black and blue, with red painting the canvas as a finishing touch.
he's stronger than you, and every time he bashes your head into the wall, the urge to spit into his face, to piss him off, to laugh at him and his Idiocracy; it all becomes stronger.
yet all you do was allow him multiple openings, denying yourself the pleasure of attempting to even take your abandoned gun at the corner and shoot at his cranium— you want him to suffer, even if it costs you your mobility by the near future, fuck it.
up, down, to the side, then an uppercut to your jaw and you're nearly depleted of anymore moves to counter. you want to seem like you've given up; but you want him pissed off, enough to punch you 'til blood seeps into the fibers of your mask. until your face starts bruising, until your nose breaks, until he finally rips your mask off and sees your face.
and he'll come to regret.
you shift to the side, and ignore the sting of your throat, the lull of your head and the soreness of your entire body.
because if you hadn't dodged, then your head would've left an imprint on the walls. you would've preferred that now, rather than the disgusting feeling of sentimentality that creeps into your heart at the implication that his blows were slowly, but surely, weakening.
he's holding back, you hold back a sneer.
as if he actually cares about you.
maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. you know he cares far more deeply for his enemies than he does you, and you hate how glad you are at the pride that finally, just finally are you being acknowledged. at the opposite end of his side, as enemies. but for once you can feel the care he offers others, most of which were nonexistent back when you were just some... nobody.
batman never kills; but he can hurt, he can injure, and he can destroy. and right now, you feel all the air leaving your body as the cloaked vigilante delivers the last punch to your ribcage.
you fall, on your hands and knees, a loud thump resounding through the empty abandoned building. all you hear are your crackling joints, and heavy breathing. heavy, like your eyelids, about to fall, about to shut until black encompasses your vision. if not for the remaining adrenaline coursing through your veins, you would've fainted— but you won't, you wouldn't, not until you see him, see his face.
the thumping in your heart beats louder, and your hands. god, they feel like jelly, it's burning, it's one step closer on collapsing under gravelly concrete and piercing skin into rocks. yet you're forbidden any time for grace, not when he lightly shoves you out of your position, and not when you fall to your sides, hands paralyzed, tears prickling against your cheeks at the pain that burns throughout your body.
"you don't deserve peace after shooting that family in front of that child, you know it."
his voice, domineering, absolutely fucking vibrating with a tremor of sheer anger. he directs his words at you, without empathy, without mercy. he wants you to learn to never mess with him in the streets of gotham. but you'll never... not until he notices you. fuck, you just want him to notice you. and now, he is, with utter vexation that causes a lump in your throat to form.
shit, you've never felt so happy.
it's when his tussled form — heavy, pitch-black boots slathered with crimson liquid — enters your sight that you cough, violently, out of breath, and you can feel it one second, then taste it in your tongue the next.
blood.
you grin, and slowly, ever-so eminently, did you spiral into a cackle. your throat gurgles crimson liquid, and yet it only builds into a cacophony of a broken record. you move your head, look through your nearly shredded domino mask, with so little strength to accompany you, to look at the man above you, eyes glinting with a glow never so alive until now.
you're genuinely so fucking happy.
batman, he who strikes fear into the hearts of gotham villains and civilians alike. he who protects the city at night. he whose name is said with wavering uncertainty— he's looking at you, only you.
'bruce wayne: my dad— is finally looking at me.'
and you! you're laughing, the sounds that emanate from your throat are so scratchy, so utterly decimated that it sounds like vultures feeding through a dead corpse; but you don't let your chuckles die down, because you're so, so happy.
he looks at you, with contempt, with disgust, you don't know; but you're still so overjoyed.
"y-yeah... it's me, i did it. are you proud of me...?" you ask as you look up, through the tears that flow out your eyes, through the grin that couldn't die down. he looks at you like you're insane, and you know he's confused, shifting uncomfortably as he gives someone a status update through the comms, his eyes never leaving your pathetic form—
you look at him like he means the world all throughout.
"call for red robin, i have one of the culprits," he orders through the intangible device, eyes squinting as he takes you in— you whose chuckles slowly calmed down, as your breathing finally becomes heavier, as blood, yours, seem to seep into clumsily made apparel. you, who bruce realized seem too oddly familiar, too small, too childish, whose moment of spiraling insanity is too damn innocent to ignore.
you're not like the typical rogue he encounters, no. and right before you finally allow sleep to overcome you, you muster the last of your energy, to stare back at him with shining eyes, expectant, and like a child's, you ask with the meekest voice.
"hey... dad, i have a surprise." scratchy, absolutely broken, yet spilling with joy, with... your last word right before you continue, bruce's heart thumps ever the slightest faster.
"take my mask off, please?"
crimson began to overtake your entire body, and bruce should've never complied with your... request, but as he kneels and finally gets a grasp of what you truly look like, he notices the frailness, the vulnerability, as if you were never built for... combat. with just how quickly you succumb to the depths of rest, with how oblivious you are to the fact that if it were anyone else, they would've killed you.
you're not properly trained, you fight out of impulse, and he knows it with just how swift you gave up midfight.
when he pulls the domino mask (which seems oddly inspired by the shape of... his vigilante partners, the robins...) off your face, did his heart finally hastened its pace, loud thumping crawling its way to his ears, his eyes registering your face: its form, its shape, your eyes, your nose—
all similar to his, all an amalgamation of your mother's, too.
no... wait, no.
it's not...
it's not his... child?
you?
your eyes, flickering one last time stared at him, softly, like that of a child who looks at their father with pride like nothing else. your hand, it shakes, it shivers, as your fingers find its way creeping to his hand, holding your mask. fingers so dainty, now pulverized bones lay atop his shivering hand, tenderly, as if trying to comfort the very same man who has nearly killed you.
batman— no, bruce looks at you. at what he's done, and only now did he realize his greatest mistake. a child, his child, one whose innocence retained through heinous acts, now a villain, whose actions were all a testimony to merely wanting their father's attention.
he failed you, his child. he failed to protect you, who he has never held up close until now— as your body is hastily taken into his arms. so small, so easily wrapped around his body, so unbefitting of committing criminal activity. now bloodied and laid into barren ground by their very own father.
bruce wayne never felt this much terror, for nearly killing his child.
this, this day marks his sin.
and you? dearest you feel like today is your greatest day.
crimson, nearly every part of you is stained with that putrid color.
yet blood has always been your best friend, no? and right now as you bleed into the arms of your father, you find yourself grateful that it is the last thing you see before a black cloak wraps around you, before black fills your entire line of sight.
short rant ahead: another author's note??? wow. yeah this was such a hard drabble to write. plsplspls leave a comment or some sort of input. anything will do. ive been so demotivated to write lately and i feel like anything i write is just, so bad 😭 like is my pacing good? are the emotions out of place? am i even doing this right ?? i don't know, and i feel like every time i post something i always put up expectations on myself that I should've done better so yeahh. is this attention seeking behavior? probably. but i don't get how people have come to like the stuff i write when i hate whatever i write hence why im in a constant cycle of hiatuses and short breaks. and really, it's just so hard to come into terms with things and i need input lest i accidentally get into a year or two of hiatus, lmaoo.
#🌷... yael's works#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#concept: brutus#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere angst#platonic yandere#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n
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