#I miss being able to write things

[gorkaya-trava]

anyone else feeling really guilty when seeing something related to their work while being in a writeblock or it's just me

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Take a good look… with Gyo.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH

[wardensantoineandevka]

I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!

[eri-pl]

Silm Advent calendar 4: Beard*

Warnings: sort of a small panic attack in PoV. Implications of… well, we are seeing Celebrimbor post-reembodiment. So you can estimate. But only implications.

"I wish I could see them again," said Celebrimbor. "The Dwarves, I mean." It was still somewhat strange to speak with words.

Mahtan smiled. "I wish I could see one of them too."

Right. Great-grandfather hadn't ever met any of the Khazad, obviously. Because he had enough common sense to not leave. Obviously. Celebrimbor looked at him. "I'm sorry."

Mahtan laughed and continued leading him down the stony corridors of Lord Aulë's mansion.

Assuming that he could continue the conversation, Celebrimbor said "I've always wondered, and Narvi too—how it is with beards? Are they something Lord Aulë invented, or...?" He trailed off. It seemed a stupid question.

And yet, his great-grandfather was not offended. He stroked his own—meticulously braided— beard, and spoke. "I've always assumed it was his thing, as I had not grown mine before I became his apprentice. But now of course they say the Men have those too— they do, right? It's not another thing Pengolodh made up?"

"Oh yes, they do have beards. Some quite impressive."

They went down another set of stairs, the corridor was windowless and illuminated with lamps. It felt like home, but safer.

"Mhm. See, Tyelpe, we're somewhat secluded here. Nor Tuor, nor of course Earendil had one, so... Anyway, I'm sure you'll grow it eventually."

"I don't— I mean, the fact that I could work with— Despite everything— It's just so much more than I could ever deserve."

Mahtan laughed again—a deep, rolling laughter that felt in place in those stone halls. "You will need to get accustomed to working with people who aren't— nasty."

The forge noises became louder, discouraging further dialogue. Not long after, they reached an arched gate, leading to a huge workshop, where Maiar and Elves worked, and of course, in the center, the Smith himself.

All the hammers stopped and the room went silent. Celebrimbor bowed deeply, barely daring to look at the Vala.

Lord Aulë smiled. "Come, you two. Mahtan, my friend, we've moved your things already. Tyelperinquar, I'm so glad to see you. I— I still don't understand your kind well, but Mahtan said you won't be offended— it is the best workplace after all." As the two Elves came closer, he spoke more quietly. "As an apology."

In the centre of the forge, next to Lord Aulë's huge, carved stone workbench with mithril top, stood two others, smaller, but even more ornate. One, to which Mahtan walked and began checking the tools, was made of bright white stone carved in intricate geometric patterns, parts of which seemed moveable. The other one — apparently meant for Celebrimbor — was a gold square design of perfect four-fold symmetry, with the tools sorted by size and type. While not dusted—nothing in Aman was—it was long unused, judging from types of the tools. There was a peculiar beauty to it, like—

His head went light and he grasped the edge of the golden table— than let it go immediately— if that was to be his apology, he'd have to bear it— he was better now, after years in Mandos—and yet, the very memory—

Mahtan held him like he used to do when Tyelpe was a small boy visiting his forge with the same fascination as his father and grandfather before.

"Shhh. It's all right. It is all right—" he repeated louder. "He will get over it, just give us a moment." He turned his face back to Celebrimbor, whispering: "It's all right. You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"But…. My apology—"

Great-grandfather held him tighter. "Not your apology, Tyelpe. Lord Aulë meant it as his apology to you. He felt like he owed it, especially as there's nobody else to apologize to you now, I think. But let's not get there. It is— we both thought that it would be a kind of justice to give it to you. I'm sorry. You don't have to."

The tightnes in Celebrimbor's chest slowly dissipated. "No, I— I appreciate it, and it would make him so angry and that's good, just— could I maybe reorder it a little. Not much, just…."

He spoke softly, unsure if it was worse to ask Lord Aulë if he could change the designs of his Maia (well, back then), or to talk in private when he was nearby. but apparently it was not soft enough, as the Vala replied him.

"Of course. You can change anything you like. It's yours."

A few days of work later, when Aulë again returned to his forge, he looked at Celebrimbor's workbench—now not as perfectly symmetrical, and carved in rows of Dwarven runes.

He smiled. "It looks alive. I missed it."

[hopeswriting]

i miss when i was writing khr meta on the regular and being unwell about it on here with you guys. i think i like having the time and energy to be chronically online actually

[fyodior]

.

[amethystina]

Pops out from the box I was sorting through. Oh, hello! Anonymous raccoon popping back in to check in. I see that tag …. very funny lol. I’m also very honored! Never thought I’d build myself a whole ask series with raccoon but I’m not complaining. They’re adorable funky fellas anyways too.

Now on to my response. I do really want to say first of all, please please do not feel pressured to respond or reveal personal information that may make you feel uncomfortable! Of course if this is a chance for you to vent/work through things etc, then disregard my words haha, and please continue! I just wanted to make that clear. Because I’m a firm believer that nobody owes anyone an explanation for anything especially for why you’re not updating! I’m not here to nudge and prod in a ‘why aren’t you updating way.’ I’m here to check in, offer support in any I can, and just be a raccoon offering empathy or holding spaces for thoughts. Any thoughts lol.

(Intermission - Is there a character ask limit? I might break it if so, so if necessary this will turn into a multi-post. Sorry! Haha.)

I’m really sorry to hear that so many aspects have been just a shitshow one after another. I’m really glad to hear your wife is doing better — and also hopefully your aunt? even if it’s no news type deal — because god health issues are genuinely horrible. So I’m really glad there’s improvement on that front even if things aren’t perfect, but I’m sending you optimism as well. It seems that both of you are doing for sure what is best for you and downsizing truly can do wonders sometimes for making sure energy remains with you and not on taking care of a big house when you already got no energy. I can only imagine that it might work in y’all’s favor too with having that chance to have more energy to dedicate to spending time together! I’m sorry though because I know that leaving a place you love is always rough. Fingers crossed for comfy apartments in the future!

Alas, the therapist situation resolved itself as you expected. I saw the comment previously on your post about most therapists being CBT adjacent and my god, yeah. I know that it’s actually common that CBT is just not the right method for folks. Therapy methods are so individual specific. It’s good to hear that your therapist at least wasn’t awful but sigh yeah, unfortunate. I’ll still hold out hope that maybe further down the line you find someone who can actually offer more help. But for now — im glad he was at least able to offer you a chance to briefly at least just rant. Screaming into the void is very healthy-

I WILL continue to hold out hope that you can take things easy — but since I can see that you unfortunately most likely won’t be able to — I’m instead going to hold out hope that things improve and that this barreling train of things piling up one after another has a stop soon so you can breathe at least even briefly.

(Intermission 2.0- there’s no limit?? I survived making this one answer??)

Take care of yourself as always and treat yourself if you have to chance to <3

Cherish is, Anonymous Raccoon 😉

Don't worry, I don't talk about my problems until I'm actually ready to do so, at least not publically. Which is why it took me over six months to mention the fact that my wife has been sick and that we'll be selling our house. That was something I needed to keep to myself and only discuss with my closest circle until I had processed and dealt with it as best as possible. I've had lots of practice in figuring out when I can talk to people and in what forums. And there are definitely things I would never mention here in such a public place, mainly because I've learned the hard way to keep my more vulnerable rants in more private spaces. But, when I feel ready, I'll share what I think might be relevant.

And while I know I don't owe people an explanation, it's still beneficial to at least say something. When people ask me why I'm not updating, it's a lot easier to link people to a Tumblr post that details the situation instead of vaguely trying to explain that I'm just not able to post right now. I have a tendency to become more curt and evasive when I feel like I can't explain why I behave the way I do, and so I probably come across as a lot more rude than I intend to. And, again, while I don't owe people anything, I don't like the thought of being rude to them, either.

So yeah. Don't worry about that! It's pretty difficult to make me do something I don't want to do 😆 And thank you for wanting to check in 💜

My aunt is doing better, yes! She'll be celebrating her 60th birthday real soon! So, under the circumstances, I'd say things worked out well 😊

Yeah, I'm going to miss the house, but it's definitely the right choice for us. I do prefer living in a house over an apartment, but this house is just too big. And it's not like I won't have a house later anyway, since I'm set to inherit the old family home on my dad's side. It's located on the island where my family has lived since the late 1800's and I love it so, so much. The house itself is from 1870.

That's taken from the church tower (yes, we have a church in our backyard — just roll with it) at 11 PM. Because the midnight sun doesn't fuck around where I live 😆

(Fun fact for my Who Holds the Devil readers: Whenever I write about Ga On's feelings on being in Yo Han's house — the calm, comfort, and longing — it's this house I'm describing. I'm drawing from my own experiences of what it feels like to have found the one place on earth that will always feel like home)

Anyhow! For now, I'll settle for buying an apartment — one that's closer to my office. Since I've noticed that one of the things that drains my energy is the commute. There's actually an apartment I'd love to buy but I can't yet because the bank won't give me the required loan until we've sold the house. So right now I'm just hoping that no one else will want it and that it'll remain on the market until I can place a bid on it. We'll see!

I'd also like to find a therapist that works for me, but it's somewhat complicated by the fact that not even I know what kind of therapist I need 😂 But yeah. This one did help during the few appointments we had, so that's something? And I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now? I'm still exhausted, sure, but it's easier to stay afloat when I know that better things are ahead, you know? And I'm looking forward to getting there, even if it won't be a painless journey.

So yeah. I don't think the barreling train is stopping quite yet, but I think it will sometime in the future? And that's what I'm clinging to right now. That and The Sentinel fanfics 😆

Congratulations on not breaking the character limit! 😉

And thank you again for checking in. I'm very humbled by the knowledge that people care this much about me.

You take care too 💜

[morrigan-sims]

Btw, if you ever see me post about a book/movie/game/ANYTHING, that is an open invitation to talk to me about it. Tell me your opinions, talk to me about your builds and characters for video games, scream at me about good or bad scenes in books, shows, or movies. (Or if there’s a book/movie/game/whatever that you think I’d like, TELL ME. Please give me recs.) There is nothing in the world I love more than talking about media of any kind (except for talking about my OCs but I know that’s a harder ask.)

Also, PLEASE tell me about your dnd characters. Make them in the sims and tag me in the post. Infodump and tag me. Infodump in my DMs. Ask for my Discord and message me there. I mean it. I am on my knees BEGGING for people to talk to me about not just things I love, but things YOU love.

Send me an ask (anon is ALWAYS on), a DM, ask for my Discord, anything. I swear on everything I hold dear that asks or DMs are never w bother. (/gen)

I’m always down to discuss plot, characters, mechanics, worldbuilding, any of it. TTRPGs/CRPGs and sci-fi/fantasy books + movies are the center of my wheelhouse, but honestly I just love having in-depth discussions about things. (Oh and I could (and have, much to my friends and family’s dismay) talk for HOURS about Black Sails.)

[chryblossomjjk]

just found out that jungkook interacts with people who aren’t me

[mamawasatesttube]

superman: up in the sky #6

NO, SIR! I WILL NOT!

[greenlings]

trying to get better is so hard

[mochiwrites]

being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week

the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals

my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?

I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting

[stillcominback]

🎀🎀🎀

[marvelous-spirit]

It’s just very interesting to me how wrong the people are who worked on Veilguard and I’m actually ignoring whatever shit they said in that AMA 🤷‍♀️

I huff copium for fun baybeeeeeee I’m making my own lore now.

[jichanxo]

early sunday six 🌼

tags! @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @phantasy14 @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22

here's something with kuwana that also has lost judgment spoilers. (i don't remember who has and hasn't played, so excuse the tag😭)

Here he thought when he was disgraced and fired that he wouldn’t have any more parent-teacher interviews. Now they wracked his nerves something fierce, and he had a corpse left afterwards instead of paperwork. Hell of a trade-off, that was. Sometimes third year students used to ask why he decided to become a teacher, and he’d shrugged and given some canned response about how fulfilling it was. 

Kuwana’s got another bully’s corpse tucked away in a safe, isolated corner of the world. At least now when parents asked him what he had to gain helping with such an act, he could muster up a little more gusto when he called it fulfilling. Even though most of them gave him a look like he was full of shit, they’d trusted him enough to follow through with it, didn’t they?