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#I might have something wrong because I haven’t been able to watch the stream
turtlekidddddd · 7 months
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I can’t stop picturing Sunny burying creation.
Sunny heaving around a shovel too big for her. Her struggling with the effort of moving the dirt to make a whole barely big enough to fit it, out of breath as she slowly drags its body into the hole, placing stones over it in a uneven way and filling the rest with dirt. Using shaking hands to write down ‘Creation’ on one of her signs.
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mildangzz · 1 year
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camboy!jungwon
au where your sweet and cute co-worker has a side to him no one knows!!
warnings (?) - profanity, nsfw
>> this is gonna suck so bad because i haven’t written in forever!! sorry
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“And that concludes today’s meeting, now get out.”
Everyone chuckles as your team leader waves his hand towards the door, everyone standing from their seats and gathering their things to leave. You stay in your spot for a minute or two, looking over the notes you made on your laptop. As secretary of one of the largest companies, it’s crucial that you keep note of absolutely everything that was talked about in meetings, organizing the next one and letting your team leader know when the next meeting was. It was quite taxing work, but it was all worth it since you were paid good. You were able to pay for anything you wanted, not having to worry about anything.
After a few minutes you finally get up and gather your things, turning on your heel quickly when you suddenly bump into someone who was watching over you.
“Ah, I’m so sorr-“ Your breath hitched when you realized who it was. Yang Jungwon. He was an intern at the office, being there for a couple months. He’s only been there for such little time yet nearly everyone was interested in him.
The day Jungwon entered the office was like no other: You enter the elevator, greet some co-workers and press the button to head to the floor you worked at. As you were scrolling through your phone, you heard small whispers behind you, barely making out “Really?” “Yes! He’s so hot too!” until the elevator opened. You exited and started heading to the break room for coffee when you see a new figure sitting by the table, legs crossed reading documents with a coffee in hand. You eyed him for a second, gulping when you noticed he was staring at you. He put the papers down and stood up to greet you, a bright smile appearing on his face as he walked up to you. You both introduced yourselves to each other, telling him to ask you for help if he needed any and to not be nervous at all. He let out soft giggles as he nodded, making his way back to his seat. Well, he sure was cute.
“Miss Y/N?”
You flinched as you looked up at him, smiling. How long were you lost in your thoughts for you don’t know, but Jungwon was closer to you than you remember. “Ah- Sorry, I dozed off for a second there.” You quickly exited the room and head towards your office, sighing out loud. He watched you as you left, slightly frowning at how sudden you left.
If you were being truly honest, he was just your type: pretty, nice, cute men who didn’t try too hard to be something they were not. After your first encounter with him, you found yourself staring at him during meetings, peeking through the break room window in hopes that he was there so you could talk to him. Well, he might be a permanent employee and you need to get along with your co-workers to be able to get work done, right?
Wrong! What started out as the smallest bit of interest turned into full on desire. You would find yourself fantasizing about him during your lunch break, thinking about how nice it’d feel to dig your nails into those broad shoulders of his, scratching his back as he fucked you like there was no tomorrow, crying out his name for more and more-
*Ring! Ring!*
Refocusing, you whine at the wetness you feel in your panties, your pussy throbbing at whatever you were imagining just now. You grab your phone and answer as you leave the office, finally heading home to “relax.”
You throw your bag and shoes on the floor, heading straight to your room when you realize what time it was. You glance at your clock and start up your computer. 11:57pm. Cursing at yourself, you quickly go to your favorite website, exhaling when you see “Stream Starting Soon!” on the screen.
Fantasizing about Jungwon has made you hornier more often than you’d like to admit, needing something more, not just the dildo or vibrator you had shoved in your drawer. So one night, you decided to search up some porn to help relieve yourself at least a little bit when you came upon an… interesting website. You click on the link and see multiple people on live, some being fucked into senseless, others fucking themselves with their toys or massaging their bodies for the camera. It didn’t seem that interesting until you saw the thumbnail for one. His body seemed perfect to you, so you clicked on it to see what he was doing. You ended up watching the entire stream, fingering yourself and cumming a couple times to the random figure on the screen. You pant as you type in the chat That was fucking amazing, sending some money as a thank you. You heard him chuckle and blow a kiss to the mic, that beautiful smile of his showing. “Such a big tip for just jerking myself on cam? What a pathetic whore.” He leaned back into the chair, head leaned back to show his adam’s apple and impecable jawline.
That wasn’t the only time you visited his stream. It became a daily thing — rushing home to log on and wait for the live to start, heart beating quickly as the familiar figure appears on screen, speaking directly to you whenever you sent him a tip.
Today was no different, you being the first to join the stream and sending a tip right away, him smiling once he saw you. “My favorite slut is here already? You’re always the first to join, sending me the biggest tips out of everyone, always thanking me. You’ve got manners, I love well-behaved whores.” You get so so wet at his words, pulling up your skirt as you start rubbing small circles on your clothed pussy, bitting onto your shirt.
He leans towards the camera, whispering into the mic, “What if I showed you just how thankful I am, princess?” He leaned back again, rubbing himself over his joggers as he groans softly. You moan out loud, slipping one finger in as you put your free hand on the keyboard.
> Please fuck me. I’ll do anything you want me to do.
He scoffs, tilting his head to the side. “Anything? You’re so fucking desperate, you know that? Fucking begging for my cock like that, are you not ashamed of yourself? What a whore, letting everyone watching this know how desperate you are.” You whine at his words, inserting another finger as he pulls down his pants, his cock standing erect as pre-cum leaks from the tip. Your mouth waters at the sight, pussy clenching over nothing.
> I don’t care, please just fuck me. I’ll be good, I swear.
He groans slightly, fucking into his hand harder as he pants. “Oh yeah? You want me to fuck into that pretty little cunt of yours? Want me to use you like my personal toy? I’ll fuck you until you can’t form a single thought, until all you can do is moan my name. Pretty little thing like you would fucking love that, yeah?”
You whine and grab your dildo, inserting it into your pussy quickly, slightly bouncing on your chair as you lean towards the screen. “Yes yes yes yes-“ You drool as the sight of him tensing up and moaning to the camera, closing your eyes as you imagine him pushing you over your office desk, ripping your skirt off and sliding his pants and boxers down. Inserting himself into you quickly, not bothering to let you adjust to his size as he rails into you, holding your hips tightly with one hand and the other holding your neck, pushing you deeper into the desk. The whole idea was enough to push you over the edge, cumming over your hand with a loud whine.
You look at the screen just in time to see him cum as well, the white liquid covering his lower-half and his hands. You send him a big tip again, reaching for some napkins to clean yourself up.
“Ah, that felt so good. Thank you for the big tip again, princess.” He sent a flying kiss to the camera, panting as he cleaned himself up quickly.
It’s a bit late at this point, feeling relaxed and exhausted, being unable to think straight. So what did you decide to do? Text Yang Jungwon of course!!
You reach for your phone, opening a message for him and taking a picture of yourself to send to him. He has to be a least a little bit interested in you, right? With the way he touched you, stared at you, smiled at you… There’s nothing wrong in trying, right?
*Ding!*
You look up at the screen, seeing him grab his phone to see what notification he received when he groans. He chuckles and shows the camera a picture he received, making sure to hide your face and anything identifiable. He starts slowly stroking himself again, zooming into the picture. “She can’t be serious, sending me something like that… If she knew how badly I wanted to fucking ruin her, fuck into her ‘til she can’t walk the next day at work, have my cum dripping down her thighs…”
You stayed frozen the entire time, not fully processing that what he showed was your picture. The picture you sent to Yang Jungwon. Your brain short circuits as you see him type on his phone, whining as he puts his phone down.
Just then you get a notification. You check it quickly and see;
> Miss Y/N? Are you sure that was meant for me? Haha… ^^
You take a picture of your screen, making sure to show your username and send it to him.
> You said you’ll fuck into me until I can’t walk at work, no?
Your heartbeat fastens as you watch him pick up the phone again, smirking and facing the camera as he quickly ends the stream.
*Ding!*
> Send me your address. Be there in ten.
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solarwynd · 6 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/746878765847773184/i-actually-wish-armys-would-try-to-get-that-1
I honestly think you guys are over thinking it. Maybe it’s because I used to have this mindset so in a way I can understand where they’re coming from. Not denying there’s not a lot of Armys who hate jimins guts but a large chunk of them put him on this pedestal for the other members and think if jimin can do it then so can the rest. It’s about trying to ot7ify everything to them. They made the same posts when Jungkook got that billion but it felt almost unrealistic because Jungkook was the only member at the time who was able to do it and their logic was because he has “GP”. None of this true, he might’ve gained some fans but not nearly enough for him to completely detach from bts’s core fandom. Also how he was able to achieve that billion comes in question, he needed his song merged as well as tons of promotions to get that billion. It’s unrealistic like I said so even with them trying to still ot7ify his moment, they had to also address no other member was getting that much push. They also couldn’t talk about it because again it’s addressing the elephant in the room. Now that jimin got it, it seems more doable to them because he only needed one version and in retrospect his was more organic. There wasn’t any foul play and it was heavily carried by fan support.
Mmm no I don’t think I am. Armys might have made a few similar posts when JK hit 1B but you cannot tell me it was any where near the extent that they’ve been doing it for Jimin today. Most armys barely even let him getting that 1B marinate before trying to shift the attention off of him and planning on breaking his record with TH. Them OT7-ing things after Jimin achieves something is not out of genuine army type behavior. Jimin motivates armys (especially these heavily biased ones) to work harder because they get a sense of overwhelming entitlement after he achieves a milestone.
It’s like a birthday party where a toddler is throwing a tantrum watching the other toddler get a cake despite it not being their birthday. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with also wanting your bias to reach goals but there is so much underlying animosity whenever Jimin reaches his that there’s no denying they feel some type of way about it.
“Also how he was able to achieve that billion comes in question, he needed his song merged as well as tons of promotions to get that billion. It’s unrealistic like I said so even with them trying to still ot7ify his moment, they had to also address no other member was getting that much push. They also couldn’t talk about it because again it’s addressing the elephant in the room.”
I mean I definitely agree with you on this cause before Seven held that record it was Flowers by MC, another song payola-ed out the ass. But LC was still gaining streams at an extremely fast and consistent rate. There’s no way they’re figuring it’s more doable after seeing LC achieve 1B because LC is an anomaly. Yes it did well despite being sabotaged and only having 1 version, but no one is streaming hyung line’s music like that and never have. The highest streamed song between the 4 of them is The Astronaut at 375M and it’s going on 2 years since that was released.
No one had any complaint when JK hit 1B with seven because again he’s the common ground for everybody in that fandom. They held multiple streaming parties for him well before he hit 1B while armys pulled that stunt this morning for Jimin. They would’ve been completely content had jimin taken two more years to reach 1B. There was no sense of urgency and they actively worked against us at every turn. Everytime you look in these daily spotify chart updates QRTS and LC is above newer songs, they’re pissed/shady. The bulk of armys haven’t been genuinely happy for Jimin achieving something since he initially got that #1 on hot100 and even that has obviously soured over time. OT7-ness cannot exist in a space where armys get upset whenever a specific member is doing well.
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ellecdc · 4 months
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okay no pressure in answering this at all if you’re not comfortable but i’ve been having many Thoughts lately and i wanted to share them with somebody but nobody ik will listen and you’re my favorite blog
i’m on summer break from college right now which means i don’t have a constant stream of Things To Do, so i have a lot of free time, which i usually spending thinking about the marauders (guilty)
but since i’ve been home (abt 3 weeks) ive been getting super overwhelmed in the fandom, not bc of anybody but because i have so much Love for content. like i love the fandom so much and i love fics and fanart and edits and stuff like that, and i don’t think i have a limit
i feel like i spend too much time engaging in the community, or even just thinking about characters (primarily the Noble House of Black lol) and i don’t get me wrong, i love it so much, but almost to a point where it’s overwhelming and i get emotional randomly and sometimes i feel like that’s not normal?
like i feel like i might be genuinely addicted - i haven’t gone a day without opening ao3/tumblr/tiktok to see fandom content in a very long time and as much as i love to embrace that fact, i can’t figure out why that scares me so much
i hope this makes sense. i just needed to tell somebody because im starting to feel like something is wrong with me lol
like i said, no need to respond if you don’t feel comfortable. i just wanted to put it into words
I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with liking something ‘so’ much and being so invested in something as long as it’s not taking away/affecting the rest of your life?
If you’re still able to take care of yourself physically (showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning), and if you’re still able to enjoy your personal and social life (going to work/school etc, hanging with friends, engaging with family members), and it’s not hurting anyone (yourself or loved ones), then what’s the harm?
I literally cannot think about canon at all, I was telling my mutual this the other day - they’d asked me what my other mutuals told me about ATYD because they were thinking of reading it and I told them and literally felt sick to my stomach thinking about it afterwards 😅 like no, perhaps that’s not ‘normal’ but that’s also why I’m in fanfiction? I can’t watch TV shows or movies because I get too emotional and too invested that I can’t handle anything angsty or sad. So I spend time in fanfiction to kind of “fix” it for me, and it makes me happy!
When I was in my first degree probably ~19, I was going through a hard time and would go for walks with my dog like 3 times a day for almost 45mins-1.5 hours each time (so walking almost 3 hours out of the day) just so I could escape my present reality and live in my little daydreams I created for myself. I became so reclusive and was over exerting myself, under eating, not socializing and started getting emotional because I preferred my daydreams to my current reality
Sometimes that’s life saving for people so I am an advocate for people doing what they need to do to get by - BUT - for me, that’s when it became unhealthy
So no, i don’t think liking/loving fanfic “too much” is abnormal (maybe it is but then we’re all freaks here) and i don’t think it’s unhealthy unless you’re unable to care for yourself otherwise
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daddyboyhalo · 6 months
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Hey! I saw your post where you expressed how you were feeling these days, and I want to give you all my support. I agree that this is a very difficult time, being this involved in something and it being turn around in just a few days, changing everything about it... Personally I struggle a lot with the fact that the other streamers, and mostly communities, are kinda "allowed" in a sense to just continue as it was? It might not be very clear but in a lot of discord servers and all people are not AT ALL up to date to the admins stuff, and are just enjoying their daily qsmp stream. I'm not blaming anyone, every streamer takes the matter how he wished, and playing doesn't mean working on things, but I guess it feels a little unfair in a sense? like Phil saying Chay and Tallulah admins are well and waiting to come back stings a little after seeing pomme and dapper leave :( It's hard to feel happy for this when you have the short end of the stick I guess
And the French might be a little too forceful on the ccs ; they are obviously not ready to talk about it, and waiting to talk to Q, but bagh and antoine still said that they watched the awards. I am quite uncomfortable with everyone assuming they will just leave when most of them didn't even had time to look more into the matter, Antoine being on holidays, baghera on her dance show, and etoiles having health related issues... I'm just afraid that it will put pressure on them while the other ccs are kinda free to not talk about it you know?
But yes, I personally try to focus on my uni work, to go out a little, to watch other content. For me the hardest is definitely the fact that all of this happened while etoiles had to take a break. I'm very happy that he's doing it, since he needed it. But since he is my main streamer since a few years, going from having him in the background for hours and hours to nothing during now three weeks was hard, especially in a time when I wanted to change my mind. I kinda felt like an orphan lmao, and hearing that he a was going to the hospital every day, still made me sad despite it making me happy that he was getting treatment. He wanted to come back soon but a said he had a relapse in his health two days ago :( My only wish right now is to see him get better, and stream when he'll feel well ! But yes it's rubbing me the wrong way that ppl are assuming "etoiles will boycott, he'll do this, that" when the guy is really not well, the qsmp is not is priority at all these days...
Sorry for the long text, but your feelings spoke to me and I also felt the need to vent a little, sometimes it's better than just keeping things for yourself, you are free to ignore this!
Hope it'll get better for everyone <3
-🦦
aw anon no worries, i’m glad you were able to vent here!! ; ; sorry for the late response, i’ve been incredibly busy, but: i agree, i really don’t like when people put expectations and pressure on a cc to take a specific action, ie boycott, especially when they’re going through it outside of the server. it might be that people just don’t realize, because i actually didn’t quite know how etoiles was feeling and struggling since i haven’t been keeping up with his streams for awhile and don’t really use twitter, so i wasn’t aware until i looked into it more. i really wish the best for etoiles and can imagine how that feels with him being your main streamer!! ; ; the person who’s comforted you so much without even realizing it is struggling, and that’s not a good feeling. but i’m glad you’ve been focusing on uni and getting out, focusing on other content, because those are all important coping mechanisms and can make it just a bit less painful! you have my full support too!
and yeah, it really does short when we get the short end of the stick here; i was both comforted that chayanne and tallulah’s admins are doing well and just… i’m not sure of the right word, but bitter knowing that some people were treated well and others weren’t? i also worry with that being the only perspective some people get that they’ll assume that must mean everything is fine when it’s not true. honestly, i wish i was just a casual viewer for example watching qsmp with no knowledge of what’s going on and that my enjoyment could just continue as normal, but instead the burden of knowledge and loss stings and aches so badly. it gets to be business as usual for some but for others it’s this horrible loss and grief, and it causes such a dissonance—“like, do you guys not see the dead and dying on the floor? am i going crazy? why are you walking straight through them?”. don’t mind my own rambling, but yeah anon, we’re in this together :(
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sluttywonwoo · 3 years
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something more || h.js x reader
Summary: it’s a tale as old as time- your roommate walks in on you masturbating and things escalate from there
Warnings: swearing, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )
Masterlist
additional warnings: additional warnings: masturbation, unprotected sex, choking, degradation, lowkey spit play
“Joshua! Come look at this!”
There were a lot of things you liked about your apartment. Cheap rent, nice views, mostly functioning air conditioning… however the gaping hole in your bedroom ceiling was not one of them. It had started out as a small leak a couple of weeks ago, water dripping from some imperceptible hole in the plaster that had slowly turned into a trickle and then a steady stream, until finally the ceiling had collapsed in on itself, unable to hold the weight of all of the water any longer. You had filed a maintenance request when you first noticed the leak, but it had gone ignored. Maybe now, now that your bed was covered in drywall and pipe water, now that you could see into the apartment above yours, your concerns would be important enough to be addressed.
“What is it?” your roommate called back.
You heard him approach and waited for the gasp that would follow. “Y/n…” he hissed, one hand over his mouth, the other gripping your shoulder in shock.
“I know.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know.”
“What do we do?”
“I don’t know.”
You sighed and took a tentative step forward into your room, wincing when your sock made contact with your damp rug.
“I’ll call maintenance,” Joshua offered and turned on his heel to grab his phone.
“I’ll… try and figure my shit out, I guess.”
His footsteps faded into the background as he retreated into his own room and you looked around your room with a frown, surveying the space for anything salvageable. You were surprised you hadn’t started crying yet. But apparently your brain hadn’t quite caught up with your eyes because all you felt was a numb sort of apathy as you gazed at the mess in front of you.
There was no way you could sleep in your room tonight. Even if you managed to dry everything and clear the debris, there was still a giant fucking hole in the ceiling. The mere thought of trying to fall asleep underneath it made you uneasy. You would have to crash somewhere else.
“They said not to touch anything-” Joshua shouted from the other room. You froze in place, afraid you’d already done something you weren’t supposed to and decided to join him in the kitchen instead.
Your socks left wet footprints against the concrete floor as you padded over to where Joshua was. He shot you a look of sympathy as you peeled them off and tossed them to the side, shifting his attention back to the notepad on the table in front of him to write something the person on the other end of the phone was saying.
The pen hovered above the paper momentarily, and Joshua rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Tomorrow? Is that the earliest- yeah that’s fine.”
The little hope you’d had that the issue would be resolved tonight fizzled, and you blew out a breath of frustration. You pulled out your phone and began scrolling through your contacts, mentally making notes of who might let you spend the night at their place.
Joshua thanked whoever he was talking to and hung up, pushing the notebook away from him with a groan.
“They’ll be here tomorrow morning,” he said, giving you an apologetic look. “What are you doing?”
“Texting Seungcheol.”
Joshua made a face. “Seung- why?”
“I’m going to ask if I can sleep over.”
“You haven’t talked to him in months,” your roommate protested.
“He’ll say yes to me,” you assured him.
“That’s because he expects you to sleep with him.”
“I know.”
“Y/n! You’re not seriously going to have sex with him in exchange for a place to stay, are you?”
“Well when you put it like that…” you trailed off and sighed. “Whatever, I’m not above it. It’s been a while since I’ve been laid anyway.”
“Seungcheol couldn’t even last thirty seconds-” he paused when you gave him a look, “I know from what you’ve told me. Not because I slept with him.”
“You know saying that makes it sound like that’s exactly why you know.”
“Please, y/n, I have taste,” he said matter-of-factly, easily dodging a swat from you. “You’re not sleeping at Seungcheol’s,” he said as if he’d decided, as if he had final say on the matter.
“Well, what am I supposed to do, Joshua?” you demanded. “I can’t sleep in my own room, and you know I can’t sleep on the couch so what do you suggest?”
“Take my room,” he offered simply, shrugging like it should have been obvious.
“What?”
“You can have my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch. You don’t even have to fuck me for it.”
You rolled your eyes. “Well what do I have to do for it?”
You could tell Joshua wanted to say ‘nothing’, but knew you wouldn’t accept his offer without feeling like you could give him anything in return so he settled for “fried rice”.
“You want fried rice?”
“I want your fried rice,” he clarified with a grin. “You know it’s my favorite.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Okay,” you agreed. “Fine. Thank you, Joshua.”
He gave you a knowing smile and nodded. “Don’t mention it.”
-
Joshua kept his room colder than yours. Your wet hair from the shower only made the chill worse, but you didn’t want to mess with the thermostat and throw off how he liked things. You were even hesitant to touch the pillows on his bed. You knew Joshua wouldn’t care, but you still wanted to respect his space.
Joshua was literally the most easygoing person you knew, which offered a nice balance in contrast to your high-strung, perfectionist personality. One time you’d bled on his sheets while you were just hanging out in his room and he was completely unphased. He just threw the bedding in the wash like nothing had happened and mentioned that he’d been needing to wash them anyway while you practically cried in embarrassment.
“It’s okay, y/n. I’ve had girlfriends before.”
“Yeah, but I’m not your girlfriend!”
“We live together, close enough.”
To be fair, you knew that this kind of thing happened all the time, but you were still mortified. You didn’t even pay attention to the rest of the movie you and Joshua had been watching. To this day you didn’t know how the Lego Batman Movie ended.
“You need something to sleep in?” Joshua had asked on your way from the bathroom back to his room, having noted your state of undress.
It wasn’t uncommon for you to make the trips to and from the shower in nothing more than a towel, but he knew you wouldn’t be able to go back into your room tonight, and that most of your clothes were still damp from the ceiling anyway.
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
He just nodded from where he was on the couch and gestured past you in the direction of his door. “You know where everything is. Pick out whatever.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
You’d chosen an old t-shirt from a gas station souvenir shop, one of many in his collection of road-trip tees and a pair of panties you had managed to snag from your dresser before Joshua had yelled at you to get out of your room earlier.
You hung your towel on a hook attached to the back of his closet door and sprawled out on his bed, pulling the comforter around yourself.
It was late. It had been late for a while, but you and Joshua were night owls. You both kept busy schedules, so at night you liked to take some time for yourselves before bed. Still though, you knew you should sleep. But you couldn’t.
You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to relax your muscles.
If you were being honest, the idea of getting laid had been exciting and you were a bit disappointed it wasn’t going to happen for you tonight. It had been a while since you’d been with anyone, and you were craving the intimacy, even if it was coming from someone like Dylan.
Your skin was beginning to feel hot and sticky, and you pushed the covers off of you in your frustration. You had just been cold a few moments ago, and all it had taken to make you sweat was the mere thought of sex. It was pathetic, you were pathetic, and you knew it.
Your fingers inched toward the waistband of your panties almost unconsciously before you stopped yourself. You were in Joshua’s bed. You shouldn’t be getting yourself off in his bed. That was wrong. It wasn’t your room, there must be some sort of boundary for this sort of thing. Roommate code. What if Joshua walked in on you- no. You clenched your fists by your sides and sighed. The idea of your roommate walking in on you with your hand down your pants should not be turning you on. It should be having the opposite effect. But you couldn’t help it.
You had managed to suppress your attraction to him for this long, being in his bed shouldn’t be the breaking point. Maybe it was because his sheets smelled like him, or maybe it was because you were wearing his shirt…fuck, you wished you had your vibrator. The little pink toy was sitting in the drawer of your bedside table, likely water damaged beyond repair. God, hadn’t you lost enough?
“Forgive me, Shua,” you whispered hoarsely into the empty room as you resigned yourself to your pleasure.
Your pussy had won over your head and you’d given into your desire. Familiar sparks of arousal flickered faintly in your stomach when you brushed the tips of your fingers over your panties. You weren’t shocked to discover that the material was already damp from where your wetness had seeped through.
You tried to think about Seungcheol, about your celebrity crushes, about anyone other than the person behind the other side of the door, but your mind kept drifting back to your roommate. You thought about what Joshua’s fingers would feel like instead of your own. They were so much longer than yours… you stifled a moan as you curled a finger into yourself and let your thumb begin to circle your clit, imagining Joshua’s head was buried in between your thighs instead.
Getting yourself to the edge was usually difficult for you without the help of toys or a third party, but you surprised yourself when your thighs began to tense in anticipation as you worked your fingers over your g-spot repeatedly, orgasm just out of reach. You were trying to be as quiet as possible, but you kept letting quiet sighs and curses slip from between your lips as your focus began to blur.
You pictured Joshua pushing himself into you, pictured how his face would scrunch up in pleasure as he felt you clench around his cock for the first time, how he’d kiss your neck and praise you for taking him so well- you bit down on your knuckles to stop yourself from screaming.
The invisible string inside of you snapped right as the door to Joshua’s room swung open and you were forced to rip your hand away from yourself as you came and your pussy clenched around nothing.
The light overhead flicked on and you squinted, groaning at the sudden blinding intrusion.
“Sorry,” Joshua apologized sheepishly. “I just forgot a pillow.”
You used your dry hand, the knuckle-bitten one, to throw him one of the pillows from behind you. He caught it with ease and you thought that would be it, but he zeroed in on your hand, narrowing his eyes at it with a confused expression on his face.
You hoped he couldn’t tell that you were still trembling from the aftershocks of your ruined orgasm, hoped he didn’t question why you were so flushed and breathless.
“What happened to your hand?” he asked, tossing the pillow aside and taking your hand into his own to observe. “You’re bleeding.”
Damn, you hadn’t meant to bite your hand that hard.
“It’s nothing,” you said and tried to yank your hand out of his grasp, but he was holding onto you too tightly.
“I have some Band-Aids in the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“Shua you don’t have to-”
He was gone before you could finish your sentence, and back before you could protest any further. While he was in the bathroom you hurriedly wiped your other hand on your- his- shirt in an attempt to erase any evidence of what you had been doing just moments before he had interrupted.
“Give me your hand,” Joshua instructed, taking a seat on the bed so that he was facing you.
You outstretched your arm so that he could see the damage and watched as he dabbed a tissue at the specks of blood on your skin, applying pressure to stop the flow.
“It’s just a little scrape,” you insisted.
“Still, we don’t want it to get infected.”
“I guess,” you mumbled.
Once he was sure that you had stopped bleeding he dabbed a tiny bit of Neosporin onto your knuckle and wrapped a Spider-Man Band-Aid around your finger.
“Thank you.”
“Wait, I’m not done!”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to kiss it better.”
You rolled your eyes but gave in, lifting your hand to his face princess style. He pressed a gentle kiss to the Spider-Man Band-Aid and took a moment to admire his work. It was only when he was holding your hand closer that he noticed the indents in all of your other knuckles.
“Why were you biting your hand?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
There was no use in lying about it, the marks on your hand were clearly teeth marks. He would know you were bullshitting if you tried to play it off.
“I wasn’t.”
So much for that.
Joshua blinked. “Show me your other hand.”
“What? No.”
“Show me.”
“No!”
You grabbed the comforter and pulled it tighter to you while Joshua tried to wrestle it from your grasp.
“I swear to God, y/n,” he muttered under his breath.
You put up a good fight, but he was stronger than you and tugged it off of you within seconds of struggling. He pushed you back onto the bed and used his body to pin you to the mattress so that you couldn’t wriggle away. Now that you were stuck underneath him he was able to assess the hand that you had been trying to hide. You whimpered in embarrassment and watched in horror as he brought the hand… brought the hand to his…
“Joshua, what are you doing?” you breathed out.
He looked at you brazenly and then put two of your fingers in his mouth. You shivered as he sucked the arousal, the evidence, from your fingers to confirm his suspicion.
“You’re a liar,” he said finally.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stammered.
Joshua chuckled to himself and let your hand fall back to your side. “And a brat too.” You scoffed in offense but Joshua just leaned down to kiss your forehead sweetly. “I already knew that, though.”
“Excuse you, but I am fucking delightful!” you argued.
“I never said you weren’t!”
“You just called me a brat!”
“Two things can be true at the same time.”
“I hate you.”
“So you… don’t want me to… give you a hand there?” he asked.
You paused. Was he really offering to-
“We’re friends, Joshua. You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. I want to.”
You could feel your heart beating in your throat and in your pussy. Joshua was your best friend and your roommate… but was there something more? Right now you wanted him more than you had ever wanted anyone. This couldn’t end well.
“Joshua?”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.”
Joshua was back on top of you as soon as the words left your mouth, pressing his lips to yours while one of his hands tangled itself in your hair. You could taste yourself on his tongue and moaned softly into his mouth. You found yourself wishing the moment could last forever, but you quickly changed your mind when you felt Joshua pressing his thigh up in between your legs. Lazily making out was nothing compared to what he was doing now. He brought a hand to your hip and urged you to move. He guided you until you were rocking back and forth on his thigh at a steady pace.
“Feel good?” he asked.
You could only nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Your panties were the only layer between your pussy and Joshua’s leg, and although they were certainly ruined by now they still provided the means to create friction that went straight to your clit.
Joshua’s hands fiddled with the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing and he tugged at the bottom of it, motioning for it to come off.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
Another nod from you and he was whisking the shirt off over your head without a second’s hesitation. He was pulling his own shirt off next, tossing it into a pile on the floor with yours. His fingers found the waistband of your panties soon after, and he played with the elastic impatiently, eager eyes searching yours for approval. You lifted your hips off of the bed so that he could take them off, leaving you completely naked before him.
Joshua let his gaze travel down your body, shamelessly admiring every dimple, curve, and freckle that was now exposed to him. You shifted under him self-consciously, silently wishing you had shaved. If you had known you’d be fucking your best friend, you would have, but it was too late now and you could only hope he wasn’t bothered by a little hair.
“How are you real,” he murmured to himself, earning an eye roll from you. Joshua reached out and dragged a finger through your folds, smiling when you flinched. “So sensitive…” he noted. “Did you cum already?”
“Yes, but it was ruined,” you admitted.
“Poor thing,” he tsked in fake sympathy, bringing his hand back up to his mouth. “Just wanna nother taste. You’re too sweet to resist.”
“Shua,” you whined.
“What is it, baby?”
“I need you.”
He smiled down at you and took you by the chin, tilting your face up towards him. “You already have me.”
“You know what I mean!”
“But I want to hear you say it.”
You groaned stubbornly and twisted your head out of his grip, only to let out a yelp when he closed a hand around your throat.
“Stop being a brat,” Joshua spat as he forced you to look at him again. “I’ll give you one more chance to be a good girl, got it? Good girls use their words to tell me what they want. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” you choked out desperately.
“Are you going to be a good girl?”
“I’ll be a good girl.”
“So what is it that you need, love?”
You swallowed your pride and opened your mouth to respond. “Your cock, please.”
“Sorry, what was that?” Joshua asked, cupping a hand around his ear as if he couldn’t hear you.
“I want- I need your cock, please.”
“Atta girl,” he praised and eased the grip around your neck. “Was that so hard?”
You shook your head weakly and watched as Joshua pushed his boxers down to his thighs, then onto the floor, letting his cock bounce up against his stomach. He was fully hard already and you wondered how long he’d been like that, wondered how he had so much self-control when you barely had any.
“We can stop whenever you want, okay?” Joshua said, face softening and hand gently cupping your cheek. “Let me know if it’s too much. Just tell me what you need, baby.” You nodded obediently and met him halfway as he leaned down to kiss you. He broke away from the kiss suddenly and held a hand underneath your mouth. “Spit,” he ordered.
You complied and sat up a little to spit into his hand. He worked that same hand over his cock a few times, using your spit to lubricate it before positioning himself over you.
“Is this a good idea?” you blurted right as Joshua was about to push himself into you, suddenly aware that you wouldn’t be able to go back from this as soon as he did.
You had shoved any feelings you’d had for Joshua down for so long and it would be impossible to keep doing after sleeping with him. But you had already come this far.
“Probably not,” Joshua answered with a shrug. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. Do you?”
“No.”
“Okay, cool.”
“Great.”
A brief moment of silence lapsed while you both stared into each others’ eyes, not quite sure where to go from there.
“I’m gonna fuck you now,” Joshua said casually after thirty more seconds of silence.
“Yes, please do.”
You braced yourself for the stretch as Joshua pushed into you at an agonizing pace and sank your teeth into his shoulder to relieve some of the pressure. Joshua groaned at the feeling of you pulsing around his cock, a feeling which was only heightened by you nipping at his skin.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.”
“You’re… so big,” you echoed back.
He allowed you a few moments to adjust before he moved. You were already so worked up that he slid in and out of you easily and it wasn’t long before he was pounding into you at a fast tempo. He pressed hurried kisses to your jaw and neck, leaving a trail of hickies to remember him by.
You cried out each time his cock hit your g-spot, overwhelmed and still sensitive. Joshua kissed you to drown out your moans, clamping a hand over your mouth in his stead whenever he came up for air. His other hand was up against the wall for stability, though it wasn’t helping much.
“Joshua,” you gasped.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Can you choke me again, please?” you all but begged.
Joshua smirked. “Of course.”
He did as you asked and cursed when you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in closer.
“See what happens when you’re a good girl and ask nicely?” he teased, cocking his jaw arrogantly. “You get rewarded.”
You could feel your orgasm building in your abdomen as Joshua continued to thrust into you and wondered if he was close too. You guessed that he was from the way his hips had began to falter.
“Up,” Joshua commanded suddenly.
He slipped out of you and grabbed you by the shoulders, hauling you into a sitting position.
“On your hands and knees,”
“And if I don’t?” you challenged.
“You don’t want to find out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Should I finish myself off, then?” he asked, pumping his cock lazily as if he expected you to call his bluff. “Leave you here needy, not let you cum?”
“No, please!”
You quickly got into position on all fours with your back to Joshua praying that he wouldn’t make good on his threat.
“That’s what I thought,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice.
You fell forward on your face when he shoved his cock back into you only for him to tug you upright by your hair. He fucked you like that in doggy for a minute or so before he snaked an arm around your upper body and pulled you flush against his chest. Being seated on his lap allowed Joshua the ability to touch practically anywhere on your body. He took advantage of the new position by grabbing your tits.
He was so fucking deep in you like this you couldn’t stand it. Every tiny movement brought you closer to the edge and you weren’t sure how much longer you could last.
“Shua, I’m close,” you warned through broken gasps.
“Don’t cum yet.”
“Why not,” you whined.
“You’re not allowed to cum until you answer this question for me,” he said breathlessly.
“What is it?”
“When you were touching yourself earlier, who were you thinking about?”
“I-”
“Was it Seungcheol?”
“No.”
Joshua’s fingers found your clit and began rubbing circles around it, making it that much harder not to disobey him.
“Fuck, Joshua…”
“Who was it?”
“It was you! I was thinking about you!”
“Do you always think about me?” he pressed.
“You only said one question,” you accused defensively.
Interrogating you while he had you on the brink of orgasm was not fair.
“Fine, cum.”
You cried his name as you finally came. He held you through it, your orgasm triggering his own as you clenched around him repeatedly. Your name tumbled from his lips too, while he lost himself in the midst of pleasure. You couldn’t see his face as he came, but you could imagine it, like you had hundreds of times before. The way his hair would stick to his forehead, the way he’d bite down on his lip and squeeze his eyes shut as he let go of control…
You couldn’t see him as he came, but you could feel him. You felt his entire body tense behind you, felt the warm spurts of cum fill you up, felt the way he instinctively grabbed at your throat to anchor himself.
Neither of you spoke for what felt like an eternity as you both caught your breath. Joshua collapsed on the bed with you in his arms, cock still buried inside of you. He brushed your hair out of your face and turned your head so that he could look into your eyes.
“Are you okay?”
You nodded sleepily and gave him a weak smile. “I’m good.”
“Are you sure? I wasn’t too rough?”
“No, you were perfect.”
He kissed you again without a second thought and you kissed him back. It felt familiar and warm, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“Here let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, pulling out of you.
You winced at the empty feeling, but laid in bed motionlessly and let Joshua dote on you. He used a warm washcloth in between your thighs and wrapped a new Spider-Man Band-Aid around your hurt finger. He slipped back into his boxers and tossed you another pair of his to wear before fetching you a glass of water from the kitchen and making you drink it all.
Joshua returned to bed finally and snuggled up to you instantly. You nestled yourself into the crook of his arm and rested your head on his shoulder.
“I thought I didn’t have to fuck you to sleep in your bed,” you said quietly once he had gotten comfortable.
“Shut up.” There was still a lot to discuss between the two of you, but nothing that couldn’t wait until morning. For now you were content to fall asleep in his arms and ignore all of the unanswered questions bouncing around in your mind. “For the record, I still expect my fried rice.”
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whiskehorange · 3 years
Note
Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!
Jason
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Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?
When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards
He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do
Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you
Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)
Michael
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You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response
Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"
Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point
The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do
It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.
Bubba
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There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside
His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines
Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another
A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset
In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time
Thomas
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Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long
He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally
To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared
Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!
His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug
Braham
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However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand
Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him
He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge
However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how
He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next
Pyramid Head
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What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately
He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it
Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again
While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you
Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-
Asa
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Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him
He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him
There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up
He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep
Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends
Harry
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Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours
He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite
It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you
He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place
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mandoalorian · 3 years
Text
Sinner [Dark!Din Djarin x F!Reader] *SMUT*
Summary: The Mandalorian has been attending confession for weeks now, with the sole intensive purpose to see you. 
Rating: 18+ smut
Warnings: Dark!Din, implied age difference, religion kink (don’t come for me...), sex in a place of worship, smut: loss of virginity, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, degradation, unprotected p in v, cunningless, death mention, alcohol mention, brothel mention. 
Word Count: 4000+
Masterlist
REBLOGS APPRECIATED!<3
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He’d been coming to confess for about a year now. He’d gone off the rails when he lost the kid. You’d heard rumours about the Mandalorian — strong, fierce, brave... a warrior. You certainly wouldn’t have pinned him for a man of faith. You’d seen him a few times when you were shadowing your father in church. He was tall, broad shouldered, and only came during the dead of night, when the abbey was completely isolated.
“Hello,” you greeted him, your soft voice echoing throughout the chambers. Your crimson red heels clicked against the marble floor beneath you as you approached the masked figure. Curtseying politely and removing your hood, you couldn’t help but bat your eyelashes in the direction the Mandalorian. “It’s quite late. I was just closing for the night.” you admitted, biting down on your lower lip in hope that he’d understand.
“I thought places of worship aren’t supposed to close?” He countered quizzically, an air of amusement in his voice. 
“You’re right, technically,” you hummed, picking at your nails as a wash of nerves flooded over you. “But my father is out of town and... I need to sleep.”
That’s where he recognised you from— you were the daughter of the Grand Bishop. He’d seen you before, doting around the abbey in your signature black gown and red robes. You were hard to miss, your beauty being beyond standards of measure. Yes, he knew you. He had noticed you watching him from the pillars above, when you thought nobody was looking. He noticed the way you’d deliberately brush past his body... desperate for just the slightest touch. He recognised your scent too; it was sweet like honey. And your ruby coloured lips. He’d dreamt of them plenty of times. It was really you.
“Where is he?” The Mandalorian asked after a beat of prolonged silence.
“He was requested by Senator Berenko to present evening mass on Naboo, for the Festival of Lights.” you explained, probably offering a little too much information.
“When will he be back?”
“Next week.”
“Well, I’ll be back then.” 
No, you couldn’t just let him leave. You couldn’t just let him walk away from you. This was your chance. In a fluster, you extended your arm and pawed at his bicep. He froze under your touch, and you hoped that you hadn’t overstepped. 
“Are— you’re here to confess. Aren’t you?” you asked him with a nervous gulp. Maker, why were you so nervous? The Mandalorian didn’t say anything, so you heeded to continue. “I’ve seen you come by before. I know you speak to my father usually but— I can do it. The confession, I mean. I’ve been shadowing my father for the past few months— training with him. I can do it. If... if you’d like me to.”
The Mandalorian took a moment to process your words. Maker; you were a sight to behold. Your eyes were starry and reflective of the galaxy he’d spent so long venturing. Your skin was soft and delicate. You were pure— untouched— holy. He was afraid the discussion of his sins might be a bit too much for you to handle. 
Or maybe there was something more.
Maybe he was afraid that once he’d start opening up to you, he wouldn’t be able to stop. He wouldn’t be able to resist you.
“Aren’t you a little young?” The Mandalorian scoffed incredulously, bringing his leather gloved hand to his helmet, his thumb grazing the cloth between his chin and his neck. His rude manner didn’t surprise you at all, but yet, you kept a strong posture and held your head high.
“I’m old enough.” you declared, not ripping your gaze from him once. Even through the dark tinted visor of his helmet, it felt like you were looking into his eyes, staring deep into his soul. 
So, he agreed. You told him to wait in the confession box by the altar. “I won’t be long, I just have to lock up and turn out the lights.”
As you walked down the aisle, you lit a match and ignited some candles. They were tall and made from beeswax, and the flicking amber flames provided barely enough light. But it had to be enough. It had to do. The wax dripped down the sculptures and chambersticks, pooling into swirls of hardening ivory. 
The Mandalorian waited for you in the confession box, having already discarded the plates of his beskar armour. It was hard to wear, and heavy on his back, but he felt safe… here, with you. He had no reason to be still wearing it. No more fighting tonight, he hoped.
The image of you couldn’t escape his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Dirty thoughts — it was wrong of him. You were the Grand Bishop’s daughter for Heaven’s sake.
When you entered your side of the confession box, your full intention was to follow the ordinary strict protocol. There was no reason for distraction.
“State your name for the records,” you requested, shuffling around as you worked on getting comfortable in your chair.
“Din Djarin.”
Din Djarin. It was a beautiful name. Your mind immediately went to pairing his last name with your first name, and then you cursed yourself for the inappropriate thought. 
“Din,” his name left your lips like the sweetest tasting honey. “Why are you here today? What would you like to confess?”
“I went to Corellia over the weekend,” he announced, his voice cold through the modulator. “The bad part— well, it’s all bad over there,” he corrected himself before continuing. “Got into some trouble gambling at Lady Proxima’s casino and a bunch of white worms surrounded me. So I killed them, all of them. I didn’t have to. But I did. I murdered them in cold blood.”
It was in that moment you learned how dangerous of a man The Mandalorian was. His beskar armour was just as cold as his heart.
“Wh— why did you kill them?” you asked timidly, almost afraid to know the answer.
“For the release. The adrenaline. The feeling of power. I can’t escape it. Have you ever killed?”
“N—no.”
Din scoffed incredulously. “Of course you haven’t.”
“What do you do after you kill?” you inquired, hoping to change the subject.
“Corellia has the best brothels… cheap too. I sought them out and look for a quick fuck.”
“Out of wedlock?” you pondered with a queasy frown.
Din laughed. “You’re asking if I’m married?”
He was right, it was a foolish question. 
“Do you enjoy your time at the brothel? Or do you regret it soon after?” you wondered.
Another laugh— and Maker, he made you feel terrible. Were you really that bad at this? 
“Yes, I enjoy myself. The girls there are pretty little things. Needy. Desperate. But— it’s not special, you know? It’s not… not exactly what I crave.”
“What do you crave?”
“To touch someone untouched. Pure. Holy…” the Mandalorian trailed off. “So, when I fuck the girls at the brothel, I tend to think of the Grand Bishop’s daughter.” He revealed, feeling his cock harden in the confines of his pants at the memory. You swallowed, a wave of heat immediately washing over you. You. He was thinking about you.
This was ridiculous. Was he messing with you? He had to have been messing with you. Sure, he’d seen you around before but neither of you had even held a conversation, prior to today. And he’d been thinking about you while he was sleeping with other women? You had to suck it up and remain professional, no matter how much it irked you. He was here to confess and you couldn’t let this become personal.
But it was so hard. Maker, why was it this hard? Was it because you’d thought about him too? Because you’d imagined his cock in place of your fingers, at night when everyone else is sleeping? You yearned to know more. You ached to know the details. Surely that was fair. He was speaking about you, after all.
You could already feel your panties begin to dampen with arousal. How could one man have such an effect on you? In your place of worship too. You wanted to punch him, kick him, take out all your anger on him. But most importantly, you wanted him. His touch. His hands on your body and his cock splitting you open. That’s what you wanted the most.
“What did— what did you think of?” You swallowed, anticipating the details. You were glad he couldn’t see how flustered and hot you were right now. It certainly wasn’t in the code for you to ask about details such as this but… surely one question would do no harm.
You could just about hear Din chuckle, from the other side of the wall, and it made your slick wet cunt clench around absolutely nothing. He was driving you feral. “I’d think about her ruby red lips and how they’d look wrapped around my cock. I’d imagine fucking her mouth, making her gag— wanting her to cry. I’d want to see the tears stream down her cheeks as I give her my all. And finally, I’d imagine her letting me cum down her throat.”
There was something about him talking about you, to you, in third person. Like you weren’t supposed to be there, listening. Like this information was not made for your ears.
Your panties were soaked at the thought. You couldn’t believe it. All this time, all these sessions of confession with your father, and it had only stirred him on more. He’d been going to confess, only to see you. 
“Tell me, princess. How does that make you feel?”
Shit. He could not be serious right now. You placed your palm flat against the wall and took a deep breath. “Mando, you’re here to confess. Not me.”
You tried to shut out his words, but your body ached for him. Ached to feel him… touch him. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you — but it would be wrong. It would be so wrong.
Another chuckle. You hated when he did that. As if all of this was some kind of joke to him. Did he even know what he was doing to you? It was like torture. 
“See, the Grand Bishop’s daughter… oh wow. She’s a vision. She dotes crimson red lips and she walks around as if she owns the place, her stiletto heels clicking against the floor. She’s bad, like the devil in disguise, and yet, I know her. She’s young and untouched. Her father will probably marry her off to some other minister in the outer-rim, ship her away for good. And she’ll be forced to deal with very mediocre sex for the rest of her life. Which is a shame, really, because she deserves better. You deserve better.”
“You have no idea who I am.” you spat out, feeling your cheeks burn with rage. How dare he make these assumptions about you and your family. This crude, older man with a tongue that could kill. How dare he. 
You wanted to be mad at him so bad. He couldn’t possibly get away with this. But he was going to. Because what exactly could you do? 
“She’ll never know how it feels to be stretched open by a real cock,” Din gritted out, dismissing your comment completely. “F—fuck.”
Din was palming himself through his pants, desperate for some kind of release. His sleuth, dirty words set a fire blazing in your core. You wanted it too. You wanted it so bad. You contemplated all the things you could do, all the actions and their consequences. You and the Mandalorian, both in the confession box. You couldn’t even see one another… the prolonged silence on your end prompted Din to get up and leave when he heard your honey velvet voice speak once more.
You had to say something.
“When the lights are out and everyone is asleep, I think about you,” you confessed, hating the way the croaky admission left your lips. You’d done it now. Din’s head snapped upwards to face the wall and oh how he wished he could see you right now. You were squirming around in your chair and when you heard the zipper of his pants become undone, you knew it was your queue to continue. “I touch myself. It’s hard to keep quiet… thinking about you. I imagine you touching me… running your gloved hands all over my body,” you bring your hand to your breast and give it a little squeeze. “I figure.. maybe you don’t take the gloves off. You praise me when you feel how wet I am, and I tell you that it’s all for you. I’m all yours. To use however you like. I want you to ruin me. Spoil me for any other man. Fuck me until I cant walk. Bite me, give me marks I have to hide during tomorrow’s mass.”
Din made a fist around his cock and began to pump as he listened to the dirty words that left your holy lips. His grunts and groans echoed throughout the box and went straight to your core. Oh how you wished you could see him right now. Peeling up the hem of your robe, you slid your fingers under the waistband of your panties and began to rub tight circles into your clit. 
“You’re a virgin?” he asked, although it came out more so like a statement. Like he already knew the answer. 
“Ye-yeah,” you whimpered, quickening your pace.
He was achingly stiff now, beads of milky white precum already dripping down his shaft.
“You want this?” He quizzed. “You want my cock right now? Think you deserve it?”
And in that moment, you made your decision.
Maybe this life that your father had given you, just wasn’t for you.
“Y-yes, oh God yes. I deserve it.”
A low and dark chuckle left Din’s lips. “You’ve been a child of God your whole life. But you want this, yes? You’ve been waiting for this?”
He was right. You had been waiting for this. 
“P-please Din, please. Wreck me. Ruin me.”
“In the chapel too?” he laughed, rising to his feet. “You really are desperate. C’mon then.”
In a fluster, you practically fell out of your side of the confession box.
The Mandalorian stalked towards you with his cock in his hand, jerking himself off as he got nearer and nearer. His eyes didn’t leave you once and although you couldn’t see his face, you could only imagine the predatory glint in his eye. Maker he was huge, and thick, and you wondered how you’d ever be able to take him.
You weren’t used to this— Maker, you’d never done anything like this before. There was no way your fingers would ever be able to compare to the size of the Mandalorian. 
“Are you sure you want this?” he grunted, releasing his cock and grabbing your throat, giving it an experimental squeeze. You nodded your head desperately and subconsciously licked your lower lip. “I must know. If I start, I won’t be able to stop. Do you want me to claim you?”
Just like Hades claimed Persephone? You shut the absent thought out of your mind and agreed to his proposition.
“I do.”
If it was so wrong, why did it feel so right? You had dreamt of this moment. How could you ever deny him? 
He pinned you against the altar and tapped at your thigh, gesturing for you to open your legs up. His eyes dropped straight to your dripping core and he had to hold back a guttural moan.
Din wasted no time and rubbed his cock along your slick wet folds. For a second you were afraid he’d knock over the many burning candles that you had lit earlier in the evening, before your little confession session had begun. But, to no surprise of your own, the Mandalorian had extremely good coordination. 
“Oh f-fuck, such a pretty little thing. So warm, bet— bet you feel so fucking good.” Din mumbled utterances of praise, his grip tightening around your wrists as he propped you up. 
Every now and again the bulbous tip of his cock rubbed over your clit and the sensation practically sent you into orbit. You were touch starved, having never experienced intimacy like this with anyone before. “Do you want me to fuck you now, huh? Want me to fuck that pretty little cunt of yours?”
You whimpered a small ‘yes’ and Din chuckled darkly, tapping his cock against your cunt before sliding into you with one swift movement.
You let out a squeal, your fingernails digging into the muscles of his back as he seated deep inside you. Underneath his helmet, his perfect lips were parted into an ‘O’ shape as your fluttering walls clenched around him and made him feel like he was home.
“Fuck— so tight, so fucking tight. Just like I’d imagined.” He murmured, feeling like he was already seeing stars. 
Din thrust upwards into you, the curve of his cock stretching you open and pulsating inside of you. His movements were rough and bruising, as his fingers dug into the soft flesh at your hips as he held onto you for support. Just like you’d requested, he was completely and utterly using you. 
“How’s that?” his gasp rolled into an achingly long groan as his balls slapped against your cunt, creating the most obscene wet sounds.
It was uncomfortable at first. He wasn’t soft or gentle by any means, but you’d anticipated that. After just a few thrusts, the intrusive pain turned into bolts of pleasure that coursed through your veins. It clouded your vision like white noise— like what the red berry wine you’d drink during Sunday mass would do to your mind. Din grabbed at the thin cloth that covered your chest, and ripped it off, exposing your bare breasts to him. A sheen of glistening sweat glazed your skin like the most beautiful honey dew. The Mandalorian was tall and broad, and as he towered over you, he coated you in his dark shadow.
His large hands palmed at your breasts and you moaned at the sudden, unexpected contact. He continued thrusting, fucking you mercilessly. With every movement, he hit that sweet spot inside of you, and you knew he’d been doing this for a long time. He was definitely experienced.
He dropped his hand for your chest and lowered it to your clit, expertly moving his two fingers across your bundle of nerves. That feeling, combined with his thick cock, was enough to send you over the edge. 
“Oh yes, yes, yes,” you chanted his name like it was a prayer— and he felt powerful.
The Mandalorian grinned wolfishly under his helmet as he increased his speed. You were seeing stars and it felt like your whole body was trapped under a spell. His spell.
“I ca- oh I can’t, I’m close, I’m close,” you cried as he continued to rock his hips into yours.
You hugged his body into yours, wishing the pleasure would never end. With every twitch of his cock he watched you intently. He watched the way your body reacted to him, revelling in the way your face screwed up in heated pleasure. Din adored the way your brow knitted together and your mouth parted as the most angelic noises omitted from your plush lips. 
“Have you ever felt so alive than you do right now, with me inside of you?” Din queried with a grunt.
“No,” you answered, shaking your head profusely. “Please don’t stop.”
Your orgasm ripped through you like a tornado and without warning, The Mandalorian split his seed deep inside of you, his salty cum roping your perfect walls as they gripped down around his cock. Now he had marked you for life.
Din returned to confession a week later when your father had returned from the Festival of Lights. There was no reason for you to see The Mandalorian anymore. 
“Forgive me, Grand Bishop, for I have sinned yet again.” Din announced, his voice clear as daylight after discarding his beskar helmet. He ran a gloved hand over his face.
“Another kill?” your father inquired, but from the other side of the wall, Din could only smirk.
“I’ve met a woman. A holy woman. And she has consumed my every thought. When I think about her I feel more inclined to sin, over and over again.” 
It was true. Your ruby red lips, high heels, thin robes… Din had become completely enraptured with you. 
Your father spent a moment contemplating the Mandalorian’s words, finding that he was speaking a lot differently than ever before. Not as ruthless or dangerous— but almost genuine.
“Would you give your body to this holy woman, if she requested you do so?” The Grand Bishop asked, not realising he was speaking about you, his own daughter.
“I already have,” Din confessed, subconsciously licking a stripe over his lower lip, at the memory of your taste. “And I would do it again.”
-—-—-—♡—-—-—-
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merakiui · 3 years
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I was reading through your tags and you mentioned at some point the kazuscara roommates finding your onlyfans and I think I completely combusted—thus i present to you my brain rot of late: you attend the same school as them but you’re not actually friends, all you know about kazuha is that he’s the friendly regular at the cafe you work at, who makes polite conversation every now and then but otherwise is nothing of note. In reality he’s been stalking you for weeks ever since your first encounter, and is dead set on the idea that you’re this innocent, weak thing that needs to be protected (maybe he stepped in when you had a bad customer and your meek reply helped fester his delusions?). Scara, on the other hand, is only aware of your presence since you’re his favourite cam model that he recently found. (Since he’s a harbinger he’s probs loaded) Weeks of funnelling money towards you cause him to feel this unwarranted possessiveness, believing that since he’s been providing so much in your “relationship” that it’s time you reward him in turn. However, despite the unbridled interest they have toward you neither are aware of each other’s feelings for you— that is, until you happen to run into the both of them heading to your class. While both are known for maintaining their stoic masks, they’re friends for a reason— and instantly can tell the attraction their roommates have towards their own “lover”. After kazuha finds your onlyfans he’s certain that you’ve been coerced and wants to save you, while scara thinks it’s time that he’s stopped letting other plebeians look at his possession—so, despite their initial reservations, come together to form the ideal plan. When you find yourself waking up groggy in a room you don’t recognize, all they can do is look on with glee whilst planning their next course of action with their new belonging. They’re friends after all, and good friends share though, don’t they?
This is v long srry lol you can ignore this ofc!!
AAAH, ANON!! YES!!! <3 I couldn’t resist writing more on this concept. orz They make for such a terrifying pair when they work together!
(cw: yandere, stalking, nsfw, implied kidnapping/drugging, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, delusional thoughts, savior complex, implied violence)
What if Kazuha and Scara were just acquainted with one another and actually became closer through their mutual obsession with you? Yes, they’re roommates and ought to get along because they’re living together but they haven’t exactly clicked yet. They talk every now and then and know little things about each other. Nothing too special. They don’t really hang out outside of their dorm either, what with their class schedules being vastly different. And Kazuha’s always out of the dorm doing who-knows-what. Most of his time is spent at a café, where he’ll write and read and stare at you while you work. On the other hand, Scara prefers to stay inside if he doesn’t have a good reason to go out. He likes his alone time. Although he has enjoyed going to the library every now and then to study.
So maybe they need to find some common ground. Maybe they need a push in the right direction before they get closer.
Kazuha likes to stare. Talking to you is great, but he worries he’ll say too much and then he’ll be a nuisance, or you might not want to talk to him at all since you’re working. But you always regard him with a warm smile, happy to scribble his name on the plastic cup because you remember him. Because you recognize his familiar face and soft, gentle eyes. He’s the one who saved you from that rude customer, after all, and he’s a polite regular. Why wouldn’t you know him? You might look like you can handle those types of situations, but what Kazuha saw that day was something entirely different. You were nervous—so soft-spoken and scared. He absolutely has to protect you from those kinds of people now, doesn’t he?
And he does exactly that. He’s your second pair of eyes—your valiant knight in shining armor—who sees and hears all. Sometimes he goes to the café with the intention to simply watch over you and make sure no one’s bothering you. He can recall one time when a customer was speaking rudely about you because her drink hadn’t been prepared in a ‘timely manner.’ In reality it’s impossible to make a drink within a few seconds, especially when you’re already preoccupied with making another customer’s drink. She must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she’s just a hateful person in general. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such fiery insults, though.
Her eyes just can’t see your perfection and therefore she does not deserve to see out of them.
Kazuha’s willing to wrestle with all of this darkness if it means you’ll stay safe, oblivious, and pure. You’re like a defenseless kitten, unable to protect yourself from the scary world. He writes about you a lot in his journal; you’re his muse—someone who constantly shows up in poems and short paragraphs where he tries to describe what your dream date might be or what type of wedding you’d prefer. Things get darker the deeper you delve into his writings, where you’ll find entries in great detail. Kazuha writes a lot and he doesn’t even mean to. He just has to get all of his thoughts on paper before they abandon him and he’s left with emptiness.
Everything you do is pure; you’re almost an equivalent to a holy being. Your smell is pure. Your body is pure. Your actions are pure. Your smile is pure. Even when you’re on the verge of crying from harsh customers or when you’re turning down a confession, you’re still pure. And Kazuha likes that about you because it’s special. There aren’t many people in his life who are completely pure. He’s been through a lot of rough things and has seen firsthand how impure people can be. It’s only fair that he gets a chance to protect purity itself.
He might have some impurities, but that doesn’t deter him from watching over you. As gentle and unassuming as he is, there are times when even he loses his composure. Not many are privy to these dark emotions of his. His smiles are sharp and venomous and his eyes fill with a gloom so dark it can swallow you whole. You’ll never see this side of him; he won’t allow it. Instead you’re treated to his sweet, calm side, where he feigns perfection in hopes of catching your interest.
As for Scara… He doesn’t really care about Kazuha in the beginning. He’s just someone he has to live with. It’s not a big deal and as long as he doesn’t try to make lots of pointless conversation everything will be okay. He prefers the peace and quiet, considering he’s acquainted with people who are far from peaceful and quiet. Scara’s relieved that Kazuha leaves the dorm so often because it gives him an opportunity to watch his favorite cam star’s most recent video. He’s your most loyal follower—someone who’s paid lots of money just to have access to the highest tier of rewards and such. He even got a private video where you addressed him and moaned out his name with lustful thoughts of him. Having lots of money comes in handy.
When he finds out that you go to the same school as him, he’s a little shocked. He didn’t expect you to be so close. You’re practically within touching distance. If only he knew your schedule. If only you were in one of his classes. It’s really annoying that he only knows your online presence and not who you might be in your personal life. The last thing he’s going to do is consult Childe, that popular athlete who knows literally everyone in the school for whatever reason. Surely he knows you. But he’ll die before he ever asks Childe for a favor.
Scara loves you out of every other cam model because you’re different. You’re not just trying to get fast cash. You’re genuine. You listen to your subscribers and their feedback. You do your best to improve and do even better streams than the previous ones. All of your hard work is overlooked by the other fools who watch your streams, but it isn’t overlooked by him. Scara appreciates your attention to detail and the way you’re able to hook him with your breathless voice alone. You’re very skilled at what you do, so it’s only fair you get paid for it.
But buying your services isn’t enough. It’s not a real relationship, but it certainly feels like it when he buys preferential treatment. Private shows, special requests, odd favors—you do it all because he pays for it. But this relationship isn’t going to be one-sided forever. You’ll have to pay him back in full eventually. Scara likes to think he has patience and that waiting is fine. It gives him more time to plan his next move—to figure out what he should do to finally have you all to himself. So that those private shows he watches through a screen can finally be real.
Scara finds the journal sitting innocently on Kazuha’s bed, its maroon cover and maple leaves pulling at his curiosity. He might not know everything about Kazuha, but he’d recognize this journal anywhere. His roommate almost always has it on his person. Scara wouldn’t be surprised if he slept with it. To say he’s curious would be absolutely correct. He can only wonder what Kazuha writes in that thing. Perhaps it’s just notes for a class. That’s what anyone would think, right?
Scara opens it and flips through the first few pages. They’re normal for the most part. Just a bunch of haikus and other useless scribbles. When he skips over some pages, he starts to find things that are far more interesting than poetry and doodles of cats. He finds the majority of the journal is comprised of information. More specifically, there are facts and other knowledge about you—the cam model he’s been obsessed with ever since he stumbled upon your onlyfans. He reads through as much of the journal as he can and instantly learns so much: your address, your roommate, your workplace, your friends’ names, names of any potential exes. The list goes on and on.
Scara doesn’t have anything against Kazuha. His first impression of him wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He thought he was a pushover at first. But now that he knows what this journal holds… Well, it sheds an entirely new light on his roommate.
Just days before Scara took a peek inside his journal, Kazuha discovers your secret online life. He snoops through Scara’s laptop when he steps out, having left it open and unlocked. He’s just trying to find what could have caught Scara’s interest, as he’s almost always glued to his laptop on specific days at specific times, with his headphones on and his gaze unyielding. He doesn’t intend to find the file of one of your private videos—something that was meant only for Scara’s eyes.
He clicks on the video out of interest. He’s not sure what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t this. Kazuha sits there and stares at the sight before him. You’re dressed in skimpy lingerie and you’re muttering the dirtiest things while coating your fingers in lube. And your hands are stroking a thick toy and you’re addressing Scara and you’re lining it up to your hole and— He shuts the laptop before it can get even more explicit than it already is. He’s so conflicted, fraught with a betrayal so strong it weighs his heart down.
Why would he have this sort of video on his laptop? Did you give it to him? Did he make you do this? Are you in danger? Are you still pure?
Kazuha can’t kill on campus. It’s way too risky and he’d be one of the first suspects if Scara’s body is found. Besides, it’s not like he has the full story. He doesn’t know whether or not Scara’s done something that’s worthy of death. You could just be in a tight spot. He knows how easily you give in when you’re under pressure. Maybe you’re just doing this because you feel like it’s the only thing you can do. Not to worry; Kazuha will save you before Scara can ruin your purity with his twisted fantasies.
They confront each other when the time feels right. Kazuha struggles to keep a smile plastered to his face for the sake of politeness, while Scara holds in his raging temper so that he can bear some semblance of cooperation. Neither of them is happy to hear that the other went through their stuff, but they force themselves to make up because a more pressing issue is at hand: their connection to you.
Kazuha says he’s your secret admirer. Scara says he’s in a relationship with you. There’s no way you’d ever date someone like Scara—Kazuha knows this for a fact. Yet he falters at the confidence in Scara’s tone. That can’t be the truth, right? Despite this, Kazuha still strikes up an offer: If they work together to get what they both want, they’ll be unstoppable. With Scara’s riches and his influence and Kazuha’s charisma and clever thinking, they can easily get their hands on you. Of course this means they’ll have to share, but it’s not a big deal when they’re already in so deep. They both know the other’s secret; now they’re swearing to keep it in the pursuit of having you all to themselves. And luckily Scara agrees to the deal, but that doesn’t give Kazuha a reason to lower his guard.
However despite how well they work together when it comes to planning the kidnapping and actually executing it, they both have their own reasons for wanting you. Scara wishes to make his relationship with you a reality—to toss aside the screen that once held him back and finally do all of the things he could only do in his dreams. Kazuha seeks to protect your fragile heart, lest you crumble under Scara’s intense way of doing things and cling to him for salvation. You can’t do those sorts of things with Scara; he won’t allow it. Your purity is meant for him and no one else.
But sharing is caring and some have to learn that the hard way. It definitely brings Kazuha and Scara closer together, even if neither of them will admit it. If they look past their desires, they can be friends. And soon enough they’ll have to accept this new friendship if they want to avoid any unnecessary complications.
However there are times when they’ll cooperate in order to do things with you. They’re a packaged deal you can’t get rid of.
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aminiatureworld · 3 years
Text
Enigmatic Feelings
Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader
Word Count: 5,544
Warnings: None
Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.
In which the reader’s s/o is jealous
Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.
I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.
Albedo
Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.
Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.
It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.
Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.
“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”
“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”
As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.
That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.
No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.
“May I tell you something?”
The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.
“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”
You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.
“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.
“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”
“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.
“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”
You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.
“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”
“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”
“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”
There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.
 Diluc
Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.
Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.
“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”
“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”
“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”
“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”
“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.
“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”
“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.
“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”
Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.
“Ever so observant, my darling.”
“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”
“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”
“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”
“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.
“What do you mean?”
The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.
“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”
“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.
“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”
“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.
“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”
“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”
“What way?”
Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.
“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”
“What?”
Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.
“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”
“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”
“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”
Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.
“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.
“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”
“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”
“And you for me. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.
 Xiao
The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.
It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.
Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?
His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.
“It’s getting late.”
“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”
“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.
“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.
“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.
“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?
The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.
Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.
The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.
Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.
Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.
“It’s late.”
“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.
“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”
“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”
“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.
“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.
Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.
“Nothing.”
“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”
A pause.
“Please.”
“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.
“What do you mean you can’t?”
“My chest hurts.”
“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.
“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”
There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.
“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”
“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.
“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”
Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.
“I don’t know.”
“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”
Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.
So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.
You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.
Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.
 Zhongli
Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.
It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.
“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.
“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.
“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”
“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”
“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”
Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.
“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.
The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.
“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”
“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.
“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”
“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.
But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.
The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.
“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”
“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”
“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”
“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”
“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”
“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”
“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.
“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”
“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”
“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”
“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”
Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.
“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”
“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.
“Yes?”
“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”
“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”
“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”
“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.
Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.
“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”
“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”
“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”
“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.
The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.
“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”
“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”
“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”
“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”
“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.
As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.
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andreafmn · 3 years
Text
Choices - Part 1
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Word Count: 3,913
Requested: by me; inspired by a TikTok POV
Story Description: After the snap (Y/N) and Steve decided to shift their friendship into a romantic relationship. After the Battle of Earth, and Thanos’s ultimate defeat, Steve had to travel back in time to return the stones, but what (Y/N) doesn’t know is he’s not returning. The man leaves to his best friend the hard task to break the news to his lover. But what will happen if Steve returns in an unexpected manner? 
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader
Part: 1/3
A/N: I just gotta say I only have spoiled knowledge of what happens in Endgame because I refuse to acknowledge its existence and I’ll never watch it. Anything I write that is not cannon, whoops. But this one-shot is inspired by a POV I stumbled upon in TikTok and I just needed to write. Had to divide it into two parts because it was getting too long.
Follow Me!
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                                                        ***
 It had taken 6 years and losing almost everyone we loved for Steve and me to admit our feelings for each other. After seeing our closest friends dissipate into fine dust we decided life was too short to wait for the right time. 
That was 5 years ago. Our relationship had been solidified as the years went on and the loss of Nat and Tony in the Battle of Earth only bringing us closer.
But something had changed. These past few days Steve had grown distant and quiet, only acknowledging me when we were in our bedroom or stuck in training. All I could attribute it to was that he was nervous about traveling to return the stones. Normally, he would talk to me about what was clouding his mind but nowadays he was acting as if we were strangers. 
Thankfully, I had a friend to occupy my time with. Bucky and I had developed a close friendship since meeting him back when he still was the Winter Soldier. Being part of his recovery was the catalyst to the relationship we have today. Losing him in the blip was horribly heartbreaking but it brought me and Steve closer. Now that he was back, I was able to have someone I could confide in the understood the Captain’s brain. 
“Hey, Buck,” I announced my arrival as I saw Bucky getting some water in the kitchen. “Couldn’t sleep?” 
“Not really,” he sighed. “The nightmares, you know?” 
He was right, I did know. Although I wasn’t blipped I had my own demons I was still battling with. “Yeah, I get it. I’m making grilled cheese, do you want some?” 
“Grilled cheese? At 3 am?” He chuckled. “What’s wrong?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Come on, (Y/N). You only eat grilled cheese at this time when you’re worried about something.”
“You know me too well,” I sighed. “It’s Steve. He’s been really weird this past few days.” 
“Weird how?”
“He’s been kinda avoiding me lately and I don’t know why.” A few tears were threatening to spill, but I did my best to dry them before they fell. “It’s like nothing I do is good enough, like he’d rather be anywhere but close to me. Does he hate me? Is it something I did?” 
Bucky got up from the chair he was sat in and wrapped me in a hug. I couldn’t hold off the tears this time. “There’s nothing you could do that would make that man hate you, he’s probably just in his head about traveling in time.” 
“I thought so, but why wouldn’t he talk to me about it. There’s not a single thing we haven’t been able to talk about up to ‘til now. What’s so important about this that he can’t talk to me about it.” 
“Don’t stress yourself over this, doll. I’m sure after tomorrow everything would go back to how it was.”
Bucky’s POV
And at that time I did believe it. Knowing Steve I really thought he was just nervous about the journey he had to take in the morning. That was until he said he needed to talk with me. 
“What is it, punk? You too nervous?” I chuckled until I saw the serious face he held. 
“I need a favor from you, Buck, and you might not like it.” 
“You’re scaring me, Steve. What’s wrong?” I couldn’t help but think that this had to do with why he was avoiding (Y/N). 
“When I go back today, I’m not coming back in 5 seconds.” 
“What are you talking about, Steve?” 
“I’m going to stay back and have a life with Peggy. This is my last chance to be with her and I’m taking it,” he ran his hands through his face. He knew what he was asking of me and he knew it wasn’t fair. “I need you to tell (Y/N) for me once I’m gone. She’s gonna need someone to lean on and I need it to be you.” 
“You can’t do that, Rogers. It’s not fair to me and it’s definitely not fair to her. (Y/N) loves you with her whole being. This is going to crush her.” He had been ignoring her out of guilt and he was leaving all these feelings behind in a couple of hours, leaving me to deal with the aftermath. “You know, she’s been beating herself over you avoiding her and I thought it was just nerves. But this is a new low; the Steve I know would never do this.” 
“Bucky, I’m sorry. I just think it’ll go over quicker if it comes from you.” 
“What you’re doing is cleaning your hands of a mess you’re making.” The anger was boiling inside of me by now. (Y/N) did not deserve this ending, she did not deserve to have her heart broken in such a cowardly way. 
“Please, Bucky. I don’t think I could tell her face to face.” He took a paper out of his back pocket. “I wrote her this letter, hopefully, it’ll help things to smooth over. Please, Buck, please. You have to believe me when I tell you the last thing I want to do is hurt her.”
I snatched the letter from his hands and guarded it in my jacket pocket. “I’ll do it only because I owe you my life and she’ll need someone once I break her heart for you. But, I get it.” 
“Thanks, bud. I know that for now, it must seem like a horrible thing to do but hopefully in time you’ll see my point of view.” I accepted the hug he offered. Although my head was telling me to be loyal to Steve, my heart was breaking at the thought of breaking (Y/N)’s. 
Before I knew it, Sam, Bruce, (Y/N), Steve, and I were standing in front of the machine that would be the catalyst of inevitable heartbreak. 
3rd person’s POV
“Well, this is it,” Steve whispered. They were standing to the right as Banner made sure everything was ready for Steve’s trip. 
“You know, it’s not too late to back out,” (Y/N)’s hands traveled to his chest. “We can have someone else go.” 
“It has to be me, (Y/N). But I’ll be back before you know it, doll.” His head lowered and left a deep kiss on her lips. They lingered for longer than usual, and she couldn’t help but imagine that there was an underlying message to it. “You know I love you, right? And I would never do anything to purposely hurt you, right?”
“Of course, Steve. I love you, too.” (Y/N) smiled and kissed him once more, allowing him to engulf her in a tight hug. “Be careful, okay? I can’t lose you too.” 
“I will,” he smiled. “Now, I’ve gotta go.”
“I know, be safe.” She smiled once more as she watched Steve get on the machine. She made her way over to Bucky, his arm circling her shoulders. “It’s just 5 seconds, right?” 
“Yup,” he smiled, ignoring the burning sensation coming from the paper inside his jacket. “Just five seconds.”
“Ready, Cap?” asked Bruce from behind the control panel. Steve nodded, one hand on Mjolnir and another on the case that held the Infinity Stones. “Alright, we’ll meet you back here, okay?” 
“You bet,” he responded. Two of the people present knew that it was a lie, but no one else had picked up on it yet. His head was encircled by the helmet and he stared at the two people that meant the most to him in this lifetime. Hurting them was the hardest thing he had to do, but he had been living for everyone else for too long. He decided that it was time to do something for himself. 
“Going quantum in 3, 2, 1,” Bruce announced. A breath hitched in (Y/N)’s throat as the time went down, all she had to do was brace herself for five seconds. Banner hit the button and (Y/N) had to blink various times to fully grasp the disappearance of the man she loved. He had vanished as quick as a thought, one second there and the next just a memory. “And returning in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1....”
Nothing. Bruce clicked the button and nothing happened. The body of Captain America was nowhere in sight. 
“Bruce, what the hell is going on?” (Y/N) spoke up, but she wasn’t sure if her voice was heard. Her mind raced a million miles an hour and she could feel her legs giving out. Had it not been for Bucky’s left arm, she would have crashed to the floor. Bruce stammered with his words, not knowing what to say. “Bucky, where is he, Bucky? Where’s Steve?” 
Bucky knew it would hurt to see her cry, but this was shattering his heart. Her body was falling limp in his arms and the tears were streaming out of her eyes faster than he could dry them. Her words were slurred but he understood the gist of it. She was hurt; she was betrayed; she was beyond heartbroken. 
“Come on, let’s sit down.” Bucky led her to the tent that was propped up behind them. “There’s something you should know.” 
“What is it, Buck?” She sobbed. 
“Please don’t hate me, but Steve is not coming back.” The girl looked up at her friend, not know what emotion she was feeling in the moment. Her tears stopped momentarily, needing to hear the words that would spill from Bucky’s mouth. “Steve decided to go back in time and have a life with Peggy. He needed you to know that he didn’t want to hurt you. He also left you this note.” 
Her shaky hands extended to take hold of the piece of paper Bucky handed her. She dried away the tears that were clouding her eyes and began reading. 
My dearest doll,
 If you are reading this letter, you know I am not coming back. I decided to take hold of the chance to have the life I would’ve had if I stayed in the 40s. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling in this moment, and I’m sorry for all the hurt I know I’m causing you. I need you to know that I never knew I could love someone after Peggy and I’m thankful for all the years we had together. I was in love with you and I still am, but I could not continue on knowing I have a chance to answer one of my biggest ‘what if’s. I could not go on in our life with the weight of my past on our shoulders, you deserve better than that. I hope you can pardon how big of a coward I am being in the moment, I knew I couldn’t do this face-to-face and you deserve at least a worded explanation of why I left. You are strong, amazing, beautiful, and deserving of all the love in the world; I’m sorry I couldn’t provide it. I want you to promise me that you’ll move on and be happy, even if it’s not with me. I also hope you don’t hate Bucky for being the bearer of bad news, he didn’t know until today and I gave him no other choice thant to tell you. If there’s someone that can understand what you are feeling right now, it is him.
I hope one day you will forgive me for this,
I love you until the end of the line.
Steve
She folded the paper back up and broke down once again. Bucky engulfed her in a hug and held her as she shook. “He’s gone, Buck. He went back to be with Peggy. I wasn’t enough for him.” 
“Oh, doll, I’m so sorry.” 
“Guys, we’ve got to head back,” Sam peeked his head through the tent, heartbroken by the view in front of him. “I’ve got her, Buck. Go get the truck started.” 
Bucky released (Y/N) into the arms of Sam Wilson, and left to start the car to head back to the tower. Sam ran his hands over the sobbing girl’s hair trying his best to soothe her. Even though he didn’t fully understand the situation she was in, he got the jist of it. After everything was packed back up, (Y/N) had fallen asleep in Sam’s arms, so he picked her up and laid her on his lap to not wake her. She would be needing all the rest she could get. 
“You guys good back there?” Bucky asked.  
“Yeah, she’s out like a light,” Sam whispered. 
“Good, she’s gonna need all the energy she can get to recover.”
“What happened?” 
“Steve decided to stay back and be with Peggy; left me to tell her the news.” Busky gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were pale white, his anger building up inside him. 
“Wow, I never expected that from the Cap. I don’t think it’ll be easy for her to move on from this.” He looked down at the sleeping figure in his lap, wiping away the few tears that had slipped out in her slumber. “She might be physically strong, but she’s very sensitive and rarely gets attached.”
“I still don’t understand why he chose to do it this way. The little punk.”
The duo waited until Banner was inside the truck before leaving the spot they were in and back home. Unbeknownst to them, behind the trees, a figure stared at the scene in front of him with a broken heart.
                                                           ***
It had been almost three weeks of robotic movements from (Y/N). She would wake up, sometimes eat, sit in front of a window and stare down the New York skyline; other times she would lay in bed wearing one of Steve’s shirts and sprayed the room with his cologne as she sobbed into his pillow. There were the nights that she drowned her sorrows in a bottle of whatever liquor she could find, until the other members started hiding the bottles. But that didn’t stop her from stashing a couple of bottles in her closet. Nighttime was always the hardest. (Y/N) had grown used to falling asleep in Steve’s arms and being engulfed in his warmth. Now, she thrashed around in a bed that was too big, too cold, and too uncomfortable.
The rest of the team had tried their best to lift her spirits, but nothing seemed to work too well. Sam tried his best to make her favorite meals, which she gave thanks for but rarely ate, pushing the food around in the plate; Bucky tried to entice some emotion by asking her to join him in clearing his list of movies to watch to catch up on the times, but she would zone out for most of the movie; Bruce would ask her to join him in his afternoon reading sessions, but every time she picked up a book she re-read the same page over and over not retaining a single word; Wanda would try her best to get her to partake in normal hygiene practices, which the girl had held off on for a couple of days, only getting her to shower every other day.
(Y/N) was a walking zombie, doing the bare minimum to survive.
But today she had woken up differently, her heart hurting a little less than the other days. She got into the shower, brushed her teeth, and even got dressed in her own clothes. It was three in the afternoon, but she was up. She was detangling her hair when her bedroom door opened.
“You’re awake?” Bucky said, startled to see a clean and awake (Y/N) in front of him. “Don’t mean to sound so surprised, but I came in here with the intention to startle you awake once again.”
The girl chuckled and continued her brushing. “Thought it was time to do something by myself.”
“Here, let me.” Bucky took the brush from her hands and started brushing through her damp hair. It finally smelled of her normal shampoo and conditioner, and not a mix of her hair oils and Steve’s cologne. The smell of strawberries and vanilla emanated from her head and Bucky couldn’t help but breathe in deep. His left hand ran the hairbrush through her hair as his right hand smoothed it down. (Y/N) leaned into his touch and smiled at the comforting strokes he was providing. Unknowingly, Bucky started humming a lullaby under his breath.
“What are you humming?”
“It’s a Russian lullaby I overheard one night while under HYDRAs hold. There’s not much I like to remember from those times, but this I don’t mind.”
“I like it,” she rocked to the movements of his hands and smiled as she listened intently to his humming. She couldn’t see him, but the veteran was smiling at her. It had been the first time she had shown any kind of emotion in the time that had elapsed. He finished her hair in a sloppy braid, not fully understanding the mechanics of the three-strand braid. “Thank you, Buck.”
“How’re you feeling today, (Y/N)?” He finally asked.
“I’m feeling better, don’t know how long it will take to get me to 100% but I’m feeling like a 45% today.”
“That’s good to hear, you know. It’s better than where we started.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she leaned into him, enjoying the warmth his body emanated. “So, what do you want to do today?”
“Have not gotten up to that point.”
“Well, Sam’s already cooking up something in the kitchen and I’m on the second movie of The Lord of the Rings, so we can watch that one.”
“Okay, that sounds good.” She smiled at the man that was next to her as they exited her room.
The rest of the team had gathered in the kitchen, working on ways to cheer (Y/N) up when they saw her emerge from the hallway with a small smile on her face. Everyone’s jaw fell open when they saw the girl looking partly human and with a spark of energy. It had been a while since she had resembled the (Y/N) they knew and loved.
“Guys, please pick up your mouths off the floor, your eyes do not deceive you.” (Y/N) joked.
“Glad to see you’re alive, (Y/N),” Sam spoke. “Come have some food.” 
She smiled at her friend and sat next to Wanda as Sam placed a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of her. Bucky served himself and her a cup of coffee and added the cream and sugar she enjoyed with her drink. She happily munched on the food as the people around her stared in astonishment.
Thankfully, the staring didn’t last long. Wanda and Sam had a quick recon mission and Bruce had some work to finish in the lab, leaving Bucky and (Y/N) to enjoy The Two Towers in peace. Bucky had the curtains drawn and the movie all set up as (Y/N) took out blankets and made a hole between all the pillows that adorned the couch. The duo settled into their spot and bundled themselves in the blankets, settling in for the 226 minutes of the extended version of the movie.
She wasn’t sure at what point in the movie she fell asleep, but she was woken up by Bucky softly shaking her awake. She mumbled something she didn’t even understand, so Bucky decided to carry her to her bed. (Y/N) had burned too much energy by being around too many people too fast. It didn’t seem like a lot but being around the whole team had taken a toll on her. The sun had started to set and so were the last slivers of happiness she had felt.
Bucky set her down on her bed, tucking the blankets around her. He turned to leave when a small hand wrapped around his right wrist. He looked down and saw a teary-eyed (Y/N) looking up at him.
“Stay, please.” Her voice was barely a whisper and it trembled slightly. She was the vision of the heartbreaking scene that had hurt him three weeks ago.
He smiled softly at the girl and went around the bed to climb in. “Today was hard, huh?”
“Yeah, I thought I was ready to go back to normal, but it took too much out of me. I feel so useless.”
“You are far from useless, doll. You’re hurting, darling, we all understand.” He pulled her in close and laid her head on his chest, the thin layer becoming wet with her tears. “It’ll get better someday, that’s the only thing I’m sure of.”
“How do you know?” 
“Because we all do, after a while we all get better.”
“I wish we knew how long a while was. Everything would be easier.” 
“I know, doll, but let’s take it all one day at a time. Just remember you’re not alone. You have me – and the rest of the team.” He cleared his throat trying to disguise the importance she held in his life. Bucky would have never said anything, but he had fallen for the girl. He held her already in high regard for the care she had given to his best friend, but his feelings had started to shift when she started caring for him while they were on the run.
“Thank you, Buck. I don’t know where I would be without you.” She laid a kiss on his chest and drifted to sleep with Bucky’s arm rubbing circles on her back.
One more week had gone by and (Y/N) had grown used to having Bucky sleep with her at night. He had helped her pack away all the things Steve had left in the room – specifically the cologne that still hunted her, – he started waking her up earlier and making sure she got at least two full meals a days before she went to bed, and he made sure that she didn’t spend her nights crying for a man he called his best friend.
All of Bucky’s efforts didn’t go unnoticed. The remaining Avengers had noticed how the ex-assassin cared for the broken girl, going further than the rest of them did. And his feelings for the girl did not fly by the mind-reading witch that currently stared at him preparing lunch for (Y/N).
“When will you tell her how you feel?” The redhead spoke, casually sipping on a cup of coffee.
“What do you mean, Wanda?” 
“What she means is that you’ve been in love with that girl for far too long and it’s time you confess already,” Sam jeered. “Nothing’s stopping you now.”
“Except for the fact that she’s still reeling from my best friend breaking her heart by going back in time and leaving her to be with someone else. I’m sure she’ll be jumping with joy if I confess right now,” he mocked. “Anyways, how did you know?” 
“You’re not very secretive about it,’’ Sam laughed. “You’re always in a sour mood but magically when you’re with her you become someone else. The White Wolf become (Y/N)’s puppy real quick!’’
“I am not that obvious with it.”
“Okay, lil’ pup.”
“Whatever. Anyways, it’s not the right time for that.”
“When will it be the right time then, Bucky?” Wanda inquired.
“I don’t know. But it’s not right now.”  He plated what he was cooking and headed to (Y/N)’s room. The last thing she needed at the moment was a new relationship, even if that’s all Bucky wanted. 
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Text
Part Eight. "If you're the imposter, you are canonically Bugsy Siegel."
warnings: swearing word count: 2k (not including pictures)
behind the screen (irl dream xf!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
A/N: ahehahehoho ik sapnap didn't fly to dreams house before they moved in together but this is a fanfic and therefore what i say goes and i say he did :) hope you enjoy!!!!!!
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"SAPNAP!" Y/n yelled into her phone, smiling against the cool device.
"Bugsy!" he said with a laugh.
"You're with Dream?"
"Yeah, you wanna say hi?"
"No, give the phone to Patches!!"
"She literally hates me. She runs away when I see her."
Y/n laughed and heard a voice of protest in the background.
"Dream claims it's because she's shy but she literally hissed at me in my nightmares so I think we have bad blood."
Y/n giggled and balanced the phone between her shoulder and cheek. "You're still on for Among Us tonight, right?"
"Yeah, why? What's up?"
"I was just checking since you're visiting Dream apparently. I don't want to take away from your bro time or whatever."
"Oh, nah, it's good. I'm only here so we can look at places to live together and stuff. He told you I'm moving in with him soon, right?"
"Yeah! That's awesome!"
"Yeah. But, yeah, I love playing games with you! Besides, he has his stupid George plug-in to finish still so I'll be bored. So yes, of course I'm still playing, Bugsy!!!!"
"I've never made a lobby before so I'm just nervous," she said, the feeling evident in her voice.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure none of them pull that stupid prank we pull with Quackity all the time when we tell him we're leaving and pretend like he's muted. It always drags on for like half an hour."
"Okay, good. I'm literally so scared already I don't need hooligans messing with me."
"Don't worry, I got you, Bugsy."
"Thanks. Hey, can you tell Dream he sucks?"
Sapnap groaned. "I don't wanna be your messenger for your love letters to each other."
"Sapnap!" she exclaimed. "No, just... tell him he sucks."
She listened as Sapnap's voice became muffled and she heard him relay the message. A loud, "BUGSY!!" was heard in Dreams voice and she giggled.
"He's dramatically appalled. He said—you know what, no. You guys can talk to each other on your own phones. I'm not being a delivery boy."
"Boo, no fun. I'll let you go so you can hang out with Dream but I can't wait for the game!"
"Me too! See ya Bugsy, love you."
"Love you, Sap!!"
**********
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Y/n drummed her fingers lightly against her desk as she waited for people to join her stream. She was muted, her viewers only left with the sounds of the music she played and the image of her commissioned "starting soon!!" screen. She double-checked the Discord call she was deafened and muted in to make sure her friends were actually there before unmuting her stream and welcoming everyone.
"Chat!!" she announced happily. "Hi! Hello! Welcome one and all to my stream!" She glanced at the chat which was filled with welcomes and announcements of everyone's excitement. She thanked everyone that had donated and gifted subs before checking her surroundings, even though it wouldn't be shown on stream.
She was bundled in a hoodie, her comforter from her bed wrapped around her and trapping her in a cocoon. The lights were off except a candle on her desk and her fairy lights around her room. It was all very serene. She was ready.
A dono came through and she laughed at the question. "Why isn't Dream joining? Um, because he said no. He doesn't have time for me," she joked, recalling them teasing each other about making time for one another. "This just in: Dreamwastaken hates BugsyGames."
Moments later, a $20 dono came through from Dream saying, "not true".
"Dream!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "You can donate and stalk my stream but not play with us? Very rude. Get off my stream and go finish coding, nerd." Despite her words, she couldn't stop smiling.
"Alright, folks! Listen up, today is gonna be so fun. We got Karl, we got Quackity, we got Tubbo, Ranboo, Sapnap, George, Schlatt, Corpse, Sykkuno," she took a dramatic breath and paused, making sure she wasn't forgetting to mention anyone. "Okay? It's gonna be so fun and I'm very excited!" She glanced at chat and smiled at all the positivity.
user4: SYKKUNO AND BUGSY YES
user5: corpse!!!!!! T_T
user2: omg watch out dream, we got another faceless man he might come for ur girl
user7: omg is this the first time bugsy is playing with tubbo and ranboo???
"Yes, I'm very excited to have Corpse and Sykkuno play today! I haven't played anything with them or Schlatt yet but I have played Minecraft with Tubbo and Ranboo not too long ago. So it should be fun!! Okay, let's join the vc!!"
She typed in the text channel that she was joining before unmuting and undeafening herself. Her headphones were immediately filled with voices speaking over each other, one louder than the rest.
"—aren't, but come on, there has to be something! We aren't blind!" It was Quackity. "Well, George is colorblind but—"
"Hey!" George protested of Quackity's fit of laughter.
"I think they'd be cute," Tubbo said.
"Me too!" Sykkuno's sweet voice rang.
"Quackity!" Karl shouted, exasperated. "I promise you they aren't actually dating! Like actually!!! She's my best friend and she would tell me if something was going on!!" His voice was desperate, almost as if he felt like Quackity was doubting his friendship with whoever he was talking about. Wait, Y/n was Karl's best friend. Were they talking about...
"Yeah, that and I'm literally in his house right now," Sapnap said. "That's two people who are close with the sources who haven't heard anything. I've literally asked Dream straight up to his face and he said no. And he's a terrible liar so I would be able to tell if he and Bugsy—"
"Hi everyone!!" Y/n said quickly, snapping out of wanting to listen to the gossip when she remembered she was streaming. She was worried about how detailed everyone would go into their theories and opinions of what sounded like her and Dream dating.
Where did they get that idea? she thought.
She didn't dare look at her chat in case they picked up on what the boys were talking about, which was very likely.
Quackity and Corpse started laughing loudly at Y/n's entrance while Tubbo stammered out an awkward, "Hel-hello Bugsy!" as if he had been caught doing something wrong. Oh, Tubbo, my sweet son, you could never do anything wrong.
"What are... you guys, haha, uh... talking about?" she asked slowly, hoping they would lie if they were talking about what she thought they were.
"The weather," Sapnap lied.
"Uh, uh, uh," Corpse stammered with a small laugh at the end.
"Tax evasion!" Ranboo shouted.
"Don't let these pricks lie to you, Bugsy," Schlatt said casually, his mouth clearly full of food. Probably a corndog or quesadilla or something. She tensed at his honestly, praying he wasn't going to blurt what they actually— "They're talking about you and Dream."
"M-me and Dream?"
"Are you dating? Yes or no?" he asked bluntly.
"Wha—n-no! No, we aren't."
"TOLD YOU!" Karl and Sapnap both yelled.
"Can we just.. play?" she asked with a laugh. She usually liked chatting with everyone before they played things on other people's streams but she was certain the topic was going to stay on her and Dream and she didn't want that. Bugsy and Dream... that has a nice ring to it, she thought before shaking her head to rid it from her mind. Weird.
"I do have one question, Bugsy," Schlatt said. "Bugsy... what is that? All I can think of is Bugsy Siegel."
"Because you're the most New York New Yorker on the planet," she groaned with a small laugh. "Bugsy just sounded cute, don't compare me to a mobster."
"Then don't name yourself after one."
"Please can we play?" Y/n groaned. "I just wanna play."
"Me too!" Tubbo agreed.
"This is why you're my favorite, Tubbo."
"Yeah, let's get this shit over with," Schlatt sighed among all the agreeing to start. "If you're the imposter, you are canonically Bugsy Siegel."
**********
"TUBBO!" Y/n yelled as the defeat screen appeared. The boy laughed as he sputtered out a defense. "You and Ranboo?? My own sons?! How did you guys get away with that? I literally said from the beginning that it was Ranboo and NO ONE listened to me!!"
"Sorry, mother," Ranboo apologized before laughing.
"I don't trust women," Schaltt said.
"Schlatt, why would I target Ranboo or Tubbo if I didn't have solid evidence it was them? I'd blame someone like Sapnap if I was imposter, not my own sons."
Tubbo laughed loudly and George giggled.
"You can't be trusted, Bugsy!" Quackity yelled. "You lie every other goddamn round!"
"BECAUSE I KEEP GETTING IMPOSTER!" she defended as she raised out of her chair slightly. She had never been so angry than when playing Among Us. It was a dangerous game for her. Her covers were thrown off of her body, abandoned at her feet, and her hoodie sleeves were pushed up. Good thing she didn't use a facecam because she looked like she could murder someone right then. "I have no choice but to lie!!!"
A new game started and she relaxed at the sight of her being crewmate again. She had already been imposter three or four times and they had only played six rounds.
She headed straight for the reactor to do her first task, closing out to see Sapnap silently standing behind her.
"Ah!" she yelled, jumping slightly. "You scared me, dude. Why... why are you being so cryptic?" No answer. "Ssssssssap.....nap?" she asked softly, confused by his uncharacteristic silence.
George walked in and stopped. "Why are you guys just staring at each other?"
"I was doing my task and turned around and Sapnap was here and he hasn't said anything. Sap?"
Shuffling was heard from his mic before he started moving again. "Hey guys!" he chirped as if he hadn't been super creepy moments before. "I was AFK, Dream brought me Chick-fil-a."
"Oh," Y/n breathed. "You looked super sus for a minute there, bud."
"Nah, I just got food," he said, voice muffled by said food to confirm. "Dream! Come say hi to your girlfriend!"
Wasn't Sapnap one of the ones that literally just argued with the group that Bugsy and Dream weren't dating?
Without further explanation, Y/n could hear footsteps coming from Sapnap's mic before Dream's voice came through. "Hi, Bug. Hi, George."
Y/n laughed, glad he greeted George too. Maybe that's who Sapnap meant in the first place? Why did she assume they were talking about her? Ugh, everything was confusing when she had butterflies in her tummy at the mention of Dream's name.
"I'm his favorite girlfriend," George teased, circling around Y/n's character.
"Also his only girlfriend," she said.
"Oh also," Dream's voice appeared again. "Sapnap's imposter."
Y/n and George ran away screaming, heading straight for the emergency button.
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Later that night, stream over and Y/n tucked into bed, she scrolled through Twitter and laughed at a Tweet Dream had posted. It was like it was made for her. She ran through her camera roll and found her favorite memes that applied to the request.
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She smiled widely and giggled at the butterflies in her stomach when moments later, she received a text from the boy himself. Looks like he wanted her number for more than just to make a cabin vacation group chat (which had yet to be made, she noted).
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tags: OPEN (at the time) (if your name is in BOLD i couldnt tag you sorry!)
@hydrate-tion​​ @loraleiix​​ @tinaswagbd​​ @charsdummb​​ @smileyyuta​​ @1ghoste1​​ @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge​​ @queestionmark​​ @carnations-red​​ @letsloveimagines​​ @the-fictionwriters-hairdo​​ @boiled-onionrings​​ @a-cryptic​​ @fee-btheweeb​​ @erwinss​​ @just-a-stan​​ @axths​​ @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad​​ @sometimeseverythingsucks​​ @powerpuffyn​​ @itshaileyn​​ @millavalntyne​​ @automaticcomputerpaper​​ @nikkineeky​​ @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​​ @sprucekot​​ @jabby16​​ @mae-musicbitch​​ @hungoverhellhound​​ @dreamyteam​​ @kuroo-icedtea​​ @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot​​ @fangeekkk​​ @haseulreturns​​ @queenwastaken​​ @peteysgf​​ @losingvienna​​ @bi-narystars​​ @zero-nightshade​​ @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime​​ @youhyakuya​​ @danny-devitowo​​ @clubfairy​​ @loser-keiji​​ @oi-itsemily​​​ @alm334​​​ @the-katastrophe​​​ @wreny24​​​​ @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99​​ @spacecluster​​ @justonemoreepisode​​ @strawbrinkofdeath​​ @aikochan4859​​​ @chaotic-tieflings​​​ @dreamsofficialwife​​​ @where-thesundoesntshine​​
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
All The Colors
Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: Colorblindness, Swearing
Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: The colors are not always seen but rather felt. Just like Y/N feels the colors through their best friend and boyfriend Corpse. That’s how they realize that what they can’t see is the most beautiful and genuine feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing something and someone so deeply.
Requested by my dear friend Lulu, who you might have known as greenieofshield. Unfortunately she’ll never get to read this fic and I’ll never forgive myself for not putting it out sooner but I’ll also never forgive the universe for being so cruel as to take her away so early. She was one of the best people I’ve ever met, always so full of optimism, always there to brighten up my day and make me smile. Always so strong and brave, never falling victim to the hate she received despite not being deserving of it. The world lost an angel the day she died and I as well as so many other people will forever miss her.
Love you and miss you with my whole soul and hear, Lulu. Hope they’re treating you right in heaven ❤
For what it’s worth, Y/N has never asked people to describe the colors to them. In their eyes that seemed like the equivalent of poorly patching up a wound: they could hear thousands upon thousands of descriptions of each color and still wouldn’t be able to imagine it. The descriptions would only make that worse to them. So to avoid feeling even more like they’re missing out they never asked.
However, that doesn’t mean they haven’t developed their own way to ‘visualize’ and imagine colors throughout the years. They’ve tried loads of different methods, few of which stuck around and not for long either. That is exactly why they frequently used to tell their friends: “You can’t paint me a rainbow with black and white and shades of grey and expect me not to feel like I’m missing out on something. Paint me the gloomy sky on a rainy day and only then we’ll be even cause you’re seeing the same greys I am.”
Little did they know how drastically their logic was about to change in the following years.
Speaking of said following years - they met Corpse who became one of their best friends in practically no time. And within just a few months of that friendship’s blossoming, a romance sparked. A romance their friends would jokingly refer to as ‘romance of a lifetime’. Maybe it was said jokingly but Lord knows they weren’t wrong in saying so because the two were completely head over heels for one another -s till are to this day - and never shied away from showing it.
Y/N and Corpse met through Rae who Y/N was staying with while on a little vacation to Los Angeles. To be even more specific here, the two met through a game of Among Us, the game responsible for many wonderful friendships since its release.
“Guys, guys, guys.“ Y/N said after sparking up a bickering session for falsely accusing ‘blue‘ of faking a task in Navigation during the final round for the day, “Here’s a little rule of thumb for whenever we play together again: don’t trust me if I accuse a color instead of a name.“ It’s safe to say that statement rose a few eyebrows in the Discord call, the confusion serving as amusement to them before they explained themself, “Oh, why that is? Hm, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m colorblind.”
Rae who was in on the scheme the whole time and was struggling to hold in her laughter finally snapped while the rest of the players were left processing the information that had been dropped on them.
“But you practically kicked our ass every single round?!“ Corpse said, amazement and confusion in his tone.
“Expect the unexpected from this schemer, take it from someone who’s known them for a decade now.“ Rae said, winking at her friend from across the room. Not failing to notice the blush on their cheeks while doing so though.
“Corpse, are you calling me a good liar?“ They poked a stick at him teasingly, desperately avoiding Rae’s gaze which widened the second she realized why her friend was so flustered by Corpse’s remark.
“Practically a con artist.“ He replied to them with a laugh, earning one from them in return.
And so they practically conned him into falling in love with them with their quick wit, sarcasm and cuteness. If someone is to ask Corpse if he expected to fall for Y/N, he’d probably say yes.
“They were like a magnet the moment they entered the lobby and started talking.“ He said once on a live stream in response to a question he received in the chat regarding Y/N, “It wasn’t hard at all, falling for them. What took me a while was realizing it. While I was referring to them as ‘best friend’ all my friends were rolling their eyes and going ‘Sure, bud.’ Just took me a bit to realize why.”
Luckily, it didn’t take him too long to grasp what his heart was actually screaming at him. Good thing they came to terms with it so soon too, otherwise they would’ve driven their friends insane.
Anyway, enough about what happened and what could’ve happened under one circumstance or another, what matters is the ‘here and now’ of their relationship. And trust me when I say it has never been better and it keeps getting better every day.
The beauty of what those two have is in the tiny every day things that they do for each other, the good morning texts even though the other person in probably just in the kitchen making breakfast while the other cannot find it in them to get out of bed; or it’s laced within the calls between them when neither of them are home or at least one of them is out and about, busy with a task they’ve probably been putting off for far too long. Don’t get me wrong though, the romantic gestures aren’t rare either. Random gifts are exchanged by them on regular intervals but one consistent and super romantic gesture that repeats a few times every year (of the two years they’ve been dating) is Corpse giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers.
A detail Y/N couldn’t help but take notice of was the fact that the bouquet was always made up of the same flowers with only small changes to the arrangement of them and maybe some tiny ones added too. Unfortunately, they aren’t artificial so they couldn’t have kept them thought they wish they could’ve. That being said, it goes without saying that those flowers mean the world to Y/N, the gesture actually - they know flowers are a common gift to give but anything they receive from Corpse is so special and makes them feel like the only person who’s ever received such a gift.
And so they got curious, they had to ask. They had to ask the question they never thought they’d actively ask considering their view of the topic. But they still did.
“Hey Corpse.“ Y/N spoke up out of the blue, breaking the silence that had fallen over them while they watched the movie they were only partially interested in given how exhausted they both were from devoting themselves to their respective tasks and responsibilities throughout the last few days.
Corpse hummed in response, the arm wrapped around their waist doing a little motion as if encouraging them to continue, his gaze immediately traveling down to his partner.
“What color are the flowers?“ They asked, gazing at the bouquet - a gift they had received from him for their birthday a few days prior - in the vase on the dining table.
They waited a few seconds but when they didn’t hear nor feel any sort of response from him they couldn’t help but look up at him. Upon doing so, they saw his small smile as his eyes too remained on the bouquet. “They’re black and white.“ He replied eventually, “Black roses and white daffodils.“ His gaze wandered away from the vase and down to meet theirs, “I don’t want you to think I’m seeing them in their ‘full beauty’ while you only see them in black and white. You are seeing them in their full beauty and not missing out on anything. They are absolutely beautiful black and white as they are.“
As a response to his answer, Y/N couldn’t suppress the growing smile on their face no matter how hard they tried. So they didn’t try at all, they let the smile lighten up their face before speaking up: “You’re a wonder, Corpse.” They said, pushing themself as upright as they could to be able to kiss his cheek. “However, you’re wrong.” They say when they pull away, smirking up at his confused expression, “My world was black and white until you came into it. You’re all the colors, Corpse. Your love’s red, joy’s yellow, sadness blue, chaos green. Love red. You’re all the colors and out of all the people that have tried to describe to me how they look, you have managed to do that just perfectly without even trying.”
Little did they know that’s exactly what he thinks of them - their world is black and white because all the colors live within them. Because they are all the colors.
And maybe they both are, seeing as how they came into each other’s lives exactly like the rainbow after the pouring rain.
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yjwhatif · 2 years
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Hey what are your thoughts on Young Justice getting canceled again?
Hey. I have spoken my thoughts on the current situation previously - you can find that post here - and my thoughts haven’t really changed. Though, I’ll say again here, the words “it’s cancelled” still have yet to be officially spoken - so until that happens there is still hope for a season renewal - whether that’s on HBO MAX or some other streaming service (preferably one which is actually available to everyone and not just select regions of the earth! I would really like to be able to watch it in a way which I know actually supports it - something I cannot do at the minute!!)
One thing I’ll add that’s not in my previous response, is that I would also really love the comics to continue and if we did have to lose the animated show - then I would be a lot more accepting of the decision if they would agree to continue the story through the comics… maybe I’m crazy, but I really do think they could make it work… I’ve always thought vandal’s backstory would have worked great in comics format. To me, Targets proves that the same energy of the episodes can successfully be portrayed through the structuring of the comics - I still need to get my notes for #4 done, but I’ll say here, the arrival of Mongoose squad in targets honestly felt as epic as all the heroes revealing themselves in Summit. The other thing with the comics is surely they wouldn’t be as costly of an investment for Warner bros/DC/whoever allows the comics - I honestly know nothing about comics or animation production but one must definitely requires a bigger budget and production time than the other (though I could be wrong - I have not checked!). Also with the comics you can have characters in scenes who can actually say words without needing a voice actor to have been present to say them… it is one of my pet peeves when characters are in multiple scenes but say nothing because the VA wasn’t brought in for that episode… I understand why the decision is made - budget - and therefore have no dismay towards grandon/the creatives for choosing to do it… but it is annoying… though, I’ll be fair and say, s4 handled it a lot better than S3 when it always stood out to me. My point is…Tim and Ed deserve to speak and I’m still not over the fact that they didn’t get to in s4!!!
…Okay I stop complaining now…
My actual point being, the comics naturally require less elements than the animated series - and don’t get me wrong, I love and appreciate every single element that goes into making the series what it is - I hope we never have to lose any of that… but if it was a matter of WB saying - you can’t have another season but you can have more comics, then, as a consumer, I would be a lot more accepting of that than if they just cancelled everything and left it at that… also with the way things are at the minute, I can legally access and immediately show my support for the comics by buying them as they drop - I can’t do that with the series until it’s eventually fully released to places like Amazon prime or Apple TV where I can buy them - and that’s well after the season finishes airing.
Anyway… who honestly knows what might happen - I really do hope we don’t have to lose either show or comics but I guess we’ll just have to be patient and see what happens…
In whatever case - I’ll likely still be here posting whatever comes to mind… (unless the fate’s decide otherwise!) 💛
LB
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ray-ray-writings · 4 years
Text
Stormy Nights-Sapnap, Wilbur, and Fundy
An anon requested something romantic for either Sapnap, Wilbur, or Fundy with a s/o that is scared of storms and so I decided to do all three. Not as a poly!relationship but as individual things! Because there are three here, they are a bit shorter than normal but hope you enjoy!
Check out my masterlist here
Sapnap, Wilbur, and Fundy take care of their s/o that is scared of storms.
Sapnap
Y/N’s POV
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my boyfriend’s job. Streaming is how Sapnap and I met. But nights like these? I want nothing more than to curl up with my boyfriend in our bed while he tells me everything is going to be alright. 
I had never been able to handle storms well. Haven’t since I was a little kid. The loud noises followed by a flash of light always seemed to strike fear in me and cause my heart to pound so hard it feels like it might beat out of my chest. 
So it was no surprise that I found myself hiding under many layers of blankets while a storm ranged on outside. My boyfriend sat across the room at his PC set up, laughing with his friends as he streamed, not acknowledging the weather at all. 
A small whimper escaped my throat as another loud crash of thunder struck, seeming to shake the whole house. “What was that?” I heard Karl ask in surprise. “Oh that was just thunder,” Sapnap brushed off. Karl scoffed, “I know that was thunder, I mean the sound that happened afterwards genius,” Karl mocked my boyfriend causing everyone to chuckle. I could tell the question threw my boyfriend off. Sapnap looked over his shoulder and met my terrified eyes that were peaking out of the blanket. His eyes widened in panic and he quickly turned back to his stream. “I’ve got to go guys.” “What? Is everything alright-” “It’s fine. Bye.” Sap cut off the question by ending his stream and disconnecting from Discord. 
Sapnap quickly powered down his PC and rushed over to where I was in the bed. “Oh darling. I’m so sorry.” He muttered, laying down beside me. Sapnap’s arms gently wrapped around me as I buried myself into his chest. I flinched as yet another loud crash of thunder rang out. This time I was comforted by Sapnap’s steady hands brushing up and down my back in comfort. “I’ve got you honey, I’m sorry it took me so long to realize,” He apologized, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. “Not your fault” I muttered into his chest, trying to pull myself closer to him. Sapnap’s arms tightened even further around me, his chin coming down to rest on the top of my head. 
For the rest of the night, each crash of thunder was followed by sweet words reassurance by my boyfriend. The storm slowly let up, the thunder crashes coming less and less frequently. After a while, my eyes were able to flutter close. I fell asleep feeling safe and secure in my lover’s arms. 
Wilbur
“Whatcha looking at love?” A voice questioned from behind me. I didn’t have to turn away from the window to know that it was my boyfriend, Wilbur. “There’s a storm coming,” I grumbled out in distaste. “Ahhh, I see,” He responded, wrapping his arms around me from behind, pulling me close to his chest. I let out a sigh as my back his chest, leaning my head back and resting it on his shoulder. 
I was glad I didn’t have to explain it. Wilbur knew me better than anyone and he knew I was terrified of storms. Have been for as long as I could remember, loud noises terrify me to no end, especially when they come out of nowhere… which kind of makes me wonder why I’m friends with Tommyinnit. 
“Come on baby. Let’s go make something hot to drink and then build a pillow fort to cuddle in,” Wilbur enticed pulling away from me, dragging his hand down my arm, grabbing my own hand and pulling me away from the window. I followed without complaint. “I’ll go make us some hot chocolate and you go set up the fort.” I gave my boyfriend a dutiful nod and left the kitchen to the bedroom and then to the living room. 
I grabbed a bunch of my favorite pillows and blankets before rushing to the living room and quickly building a cute little structure and settling into the little nest I had created. Wilbur soon came in, balancing two mugs on top of a tray of snacks. I couldn’t help but grin at the sight of my boyfriend’s concentrated face. “Here you go love,” He offered the mug with a smile. “Thanks lover,” I thanked as I reached up and grabbed the tray carefully so he could sit down. 
Wilbur sat next to me, wrapped his arm around me and took his mug from the tray. A soft grumble of thunder sounded as the two of us settled into our places. I couldn’t help but wince further into my boyfriend’s embrace at the noise. Wilbur’s hand began rubbing up and down on me in comfort. “I’ve got you love,” Wilbur murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. I let out a breath and nodded. The rest of the night was spent curled up together in the fort. The storm began to rage harder but I didn’t mind because I was comforted in my baby’s arms. 
Fundy
Fundy and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie when it hit. A loud crash of thunder came from nowhere, a flash of lighting following almost immediately caused us both the jump and a little scream escaped my lips. Fundy was quick to turn to me and assure me that everything was okay as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. 
Little whimpers escaped my lips as more rumbles of thunder sounded. I have always been scared of storms, but this one hit my anxiety even more because of the suddenness of it. “You’re okay. I’ve got you,” Fundy murmured into the side of my head, kissing my temple. I pulled my head out of his chest to look at him and respond. As I opened my mouth, the lights flickered and everything turned off, plunging us into darkness. Another whimper escaped my lips as I dove back into Fundy’s arms, clenching my eyes shut tight. 
We sat there for a while, Fundy’s arm stroking up and down my back, trying to calm me down. “I’m going to go get some candles, do you want to stay here or come with me?” Fundy asked gently. I adjusted myself so that I was straddling him and had my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. “Carry,” I commanded against his shoulder. I felt his body move as he chuckled and shook his head. “Okay baby.”
In one quick motion, Fundy was now standing, his arms wrapped around my back, holding me in place. “I’ve got you baby,” He murmured once more before moving about the house, picking up a few candles and something to light them with. I was pleasantly surprised at his ability to navigate the dark house to find what he was looking for.
Instead of sitting us back in the living room, Fundy made his way to our shared bedroom. He set the candles on the nightstand before laying me down on the bed. I let out a whine as Fundy left me alone on the bed, a pout forming on my lips. “I’ll be right there honey,” He soothed, turning and quickly lighting the candles, giving us some form of light. 
After the last candle was lit, Fundy turned back around and crawled into bed. I immediately clung to him once more, burying myself as close to him as I could. Fundy’s chest rumbled with the sky as he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me once more. “I love you,” He murmured, leaning in and pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead and then lips. I let a dopey smile overtake my lips as I kissed back before settling in his chest once more. “I love you too”
There you go! I hope you enjoyed! If so, be sure to leave a like!!
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simplepotatofarmer · 3 years
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technoblade: a takedown pt. 2
(not clickbait) (okay maybe a little)
aka i go over every argument people make against c!techno one by one and determine whether they’re valid, false, or a mixture of both. i rewatched every single stream/video, including those on his alt channel, so i could approach this with the most information possible. i’ll be breaking this up into parts because there’s just too much otherwise. all about the characters unless stated.
techno has a victim complex - false
this is one of the first takes i saw in fandom and it’s always baffled me.
a victim complex is when someone holds the constant belief that they’re a victim, that everything is being done to specifically hurt them, and that no one else feels as much pain as they do, if they acknowledge that other people are hurt at all. that’s the clinical usage. (i know this, on a personal level, because my grandmother was told by two psychologists that she had a victim complex. she left both of them, saying they were trying to paint her as a bad person.)
techno has never shown a constant belief he’s a victim. in fact, he often shrugs off a lot of the things that’s happened to him - when talking to quackity about the execution, he says ‘yeah, that’s fair’ when quackity points out what techno did. 
when techno had his ‘dang, the whole world is against me’ moment, it was in a moment when there were wanted posters for him, propaganda against him. he’s valid in feeling that way and that feeling didn’t even last for long. 
expressing his hurt at tommy’s betrayal (and whether or not you believe it’s a betrayal, techno thought of it as such. i’ll address that in another point.) doesn’t mean he has a victim complex. techno felt hurt. there is a difference between feeling hurt in a messy situation where both parties felt pain and having a victim complex. or being angry at an unfair execution in which your friend is also hurt.
this isn’t a constant thing that techno does, either. he struggles with expressing himself despite being an emotional person. his paranoia that someone will try to kill him is not unfounded and also not something that he brings up constantly. and it’s the constant part that really takes away from the idea that techno has a victim complex. this isn’t his world view. he doesn’t think everything is done to hurt him. he doesn’t believe everyone’s actions are targeted at him. and that is the key components for a victim complex. 
techno killed the bees in new l’manberg on doomsday - ehhhhhh mostly false 
now, i’m not going to say that the bees wouldn’t have been killed regardless. they probably would have.
but the idea techno did it on purpose (which is bizarrely a take i have seen) just isn’t true. 
like, it sucks. bees are my favorite. but take it up with philza minecraft. techno might have given phil the wither skulls but he didn’t tell him to summon them on top of the bee house. 
techno should have been more upfront with tommy: valid
first and foremost, i want to state that techno did tell tommy what he intended. he told tommy that he could ‘sit it out’ when he destroyed l’manberg. he was upfront with tommy but he never truly pushed the issue and he should have. one of techno’s biggest flaws is his lack of communication skills. 
techno betrayed tommy by teaming up with dream: complicated but mostly false
this one is difficult because tommy did feel as if techno had betrayed him and i don’t want to discount what he feels; tommy is valid in his feelings, they’re real.
so the question here is, are they objectively true? did techno betray tommy? 
the simple answer is ‘no’.
techno teamed up with dream after tommy had left him for tubbo. (which i always feel like i have to clarify i think was the obvious outcome and i don’t blame tommy for that.) at that point in time, tommy had already broken their alliance. techno had no obligation to tommy at all. the partnership that they had was based on the two of them not being aligned with new l’manberg. once tommy went back to tubbo and sided with new l’manberg, techno was no longer on his side. there was no betrayal in that. 
the other point that’s often brought up is that teaming with dream, specifically, was a betrayal because of what dream did to tommy. 
there’s two issues with this: first, techno himself said dream is not his enemy. he said this after tommy had moved in with him in his ‘becoming incredibly rich’ stream. techno was only opposed to dream because he was teamed up with tommy. he had no personal grudge with dream. second, while techno certainly knew that tommy was afraid of dream and that dream had done something, he didn’t know the details. yes, the way tommy was acting probably should have been a clue - and probably would be for anyone else - but techno is notoriously bad with people.
now, tommy was certainly hurt by techno teaming up with dream and that’s the reason i don’t list this point as completely false. 
techno has never apologized for what he’s done: mostly true 
but not valid.
the words ‘i’m sorry’ have certainly been uttered by techno and specifically to tubbo before he killed him during the red festival. he has apologized and later explained himself to tubbo, who accepted that reasoning. 
apologies, much like forgiveness, are not owed. they can be deserved, they can be the right thing to do, but it’s not something that a person is required to do. not even to become a good person.
the best indicator of that is changed behavior and techno has changed since doomsday. he’s acknowledged that he hurt people, despite not apologizing, and changed his tactics.
techno has never considered that he could be wrong or reflected on what he’s done: false
if you haven’t watched techno’s pov completely, i can understand why you would think this is the case. 
but techno has reflected on what he’s done. he’s even admitted that not only is he not the best example of anarchism but that he’s not the best person. 
he tells niki that he’s been a bad example and that he’s trying to change that because he wants to lead through example. and this is an important conversation because she’s the first person he seeks out. he knows she’s been affected by what’s happened and by what he’s done.
in the turtle stream, he tells phil that he’s ‘trying to be a better person’. 
this is a point that i see used against techno often and, like the point above, is one of the ones that frustrates me the most. because, again, it is understandable but upon watching techno’s pov, you can see that it isn’t accurate. not only has techno reflected on his past actions, he’s come to the conclusion that he was wrong. his tactics were wrong and he has said as much, has demonstrated that he understands that and is working to change. 
he still believes in his ideals, he still believes that government is inherently corrupt and - this is conjecture - i have no doubts that he wouldn’t resort to violence against a government, in the same way he used violence to help take down the eggpire. violence isn’t inherently cruel. it’s a tool, one that techno used to wield without thought (or because he believed it was the only way he would be heard) but now it’s one that has been tempered. if techno is a weapon, he used to be a crude one and saw that instead of cutting out the rotten bits, he was leaving a jagged scar and changed. 
that doesn’t mean he won’t use violence again, it doesn’t mean that he won’t backslide or that someone won’t be hurt, but it does mean the idea he has never reflected on what he’s done is incorrect. 
techno reflected on what he’s done and realized he was wrong, not about his beliefs, not about anarchy or even violence as a whole, but his tactics. 
if you read this far, thank you. i know last time i said i would be tackling the butcher army but that has been requiring a lot of vod watching from other perspectives to be able to speak on it accurately. and adding it to this would honestly make this post disgustingly long (part one was almost 2k words, rip)
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