#I might as well give her her own tag
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Was Avina in the arena ALWAYS a female turian???
(I mean I know the answer has to be yes and yet I don't know if I ever noticed before)
Also making Avina a turian in the arena is such a good bit of worldbuilding, considering the arena afaik is owned by a turian company (and as such has a big turian fanbase)
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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day 20 - party
version without the red speech bubbles below
i had a lot of issues exporting this gif, so it doesn’t have a background like i would’ve liked, but i’m happy with how it turned out :)
#anthology of the killer#of the killer#bb#artwork of the killer#face of the killer#plum (party girl)#i like her design a lot so idk might as well name her and give her a tag#animation#gif#putting bb into horrible situations in my head for my own amusement
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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dark cream week: day 6 - thunder
shattered by galacii-gallery
cross by jakei95
dark cream week by @zu-is-here
the full image ->
and a close up of Shattered as I think it‘s quite pretty
#my artsies#(i might reblog this again later with the previous version as well as I did redraw this image + if you‘d like I can tell you about my-#original-original idea too :3cc)#cross has been missing for a bit too long now for what was meant to be a short trip :(#and shattered can‘t fly to look for her on her own because her wings are ripped#so you could obviously see how she‘s upset that her ‚subordinate‘ is missing since walking would also take way longer#on another note:#is she pretty? I‘m glad you think so; but fae will take you away and never give you back :3#female version#human versions#dark cream#dark cream week#dark cream week 2024#shattered dream#shattered dream x cross#shattered!dream#cross!sans#cross sans#realised i always forgot that one tag anyway#fairy versions#technically can count as#utmv x tinkerbell#but not quiteeeee
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okay y'all, i've never actually done something like this but i decided on a whim the other day to start a sewing project, and i'm gonna do my best to document it here just for my own enjoyment lol!
the goal is basically to take this jacket (pictured below) that I bought on amazon for a kotlc halloween costume a few years ago and spruce it up a bit
the current plans are to:
reinforce the bottom edge of the skirt part so it has a little more structure
replace the buttons with ones that a) look nicer and b) are more durable (right now they're plastic and also have this crown/crest design that almost feels like it belongs on a flag or something??? idk I just don't like them very much and wanna have different ones)
maybe do some embroidery on the bottom edge of the skirt (and potentially other areas as well)??? i haven't fully decided yet but leaning towards yes if I can manage to teach myself embroidery before my interest in this project disappears lol
(i might also do something with the zipper pull, i can't really decide if i fully like it as is but that's a thing for future me to worry about haha)
but yeah i think the vision is mostly just fun jacket with vaguely steampunk-space-pirate vibes (à la the mechs lol) so we'll see what happens!
#listen folks i am primarily a knitter that dabbles in a bit of cross stitch#i haven't really sewn anything since i learned how to in middle school#and i don't own a sewing machine or anything so this is all gonna be done by hand#so if there's anyone out there with more (aka any) experience then i would gladly take any tips you can give me lol#hopefully i can finish this before the excitement/hyperfixation wears out of#(i love this jacket so much and i can't wait to spruce her up a bit!)#(she was originally for a costume of sophie foster from kotlc book 7)#(but recently i've gotten really into the mechs and was like)#(y'know this could actually work really well for a steampunk space pirate outfit lol)#(so here i am haha let's see how this goes!)#(okay now for actual tags uhh)#sewing#bee's adventures in crafting#(hmm do I dare tag the fandoms? i think i just might lol)#kotlc#the mechanisms#(oh wow this turned into a long post oops oh well lol)
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multitasking
plus a wip that i may or may not finish sigh...college moment
#dinahbabs#barbara gordon#dinah lance#theyre real your honor#nsft#i need to quit drawing babs head at the same exact angle and tilt its gone too far#trans dinah#need to give her her own tag bc trans dinah hc might as well be canon
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 51
He didn't care, didn't marvel that he was soon to be airborne on one of those incredible beasts. Didn't care that tomorrow, they would all take on the dark army gathered beyond.
He'd fought in more battles, more wars, than he cared to remember. Tomorrow would be little different, save for the demons they'd slay, rather than men or Fae.
Demons like his former queen, apparently.
He had offered himself to her, had wanted her, or believed he did. And she had laughed at him. He didn't know what it meant. About her, about himself.
He'd thought his darkness, Hellas's gifts, had been drawn to her, that they'd been matched.
Perhaps the dark god had wanted him not to swear fealty to Maeve, but to kill her. To get close enough to do so.
Lorcan didn't adjust his cape against the gust of frigid air off the distant lake. Rather, he leaned into the cold, into the ice on the wind. As if it might rip away the truth.
There was no fear or pity on her face, her black hair gilded by the torches and campfires. Of all of them, she'd mastered the news with little difficulty, stepping up to the desk as if she'd been born on a battlefield.
"I didn't know," he said, voice strained.
Elide knew what he meant. "We have bigger things to worry about anyway."
He took a step toward her. "I didn't know," he said again.
She tipped her head back to study his face and pursed her mouth, a muscle ticking in her jaw. "Do you want me to give you some sort of absolution for it?"
"I served her for nearly five hundred years. Five hundred years, and I just thought her to be immortal and cold."
"That sounds like the definition of a Valg to me."
He bared his teeth. "You live for eons and see what it does to you, Lady."
"I don't see why you're so shocked. Even with her being immortal and cold, you loved her. You must have accepted those traits. What difference does it make what we call her, then?"
"I didn't love her."
"You certainly acted like you did."
Lorcan snarled, "Why is that the point you keep returning to, Elide? Why is it the one thing you cannot let go of?"
"Because I'm trying to understand. How you could come to love a monster."
"Why?" He pushed into her space. She didn't balk one step.
Indeed, her eyes were blazing as she hissed, "Because it will help me understand how I did the same."
Her voice snagged on the last words, and Lorcan stilled as they settled into them. He'd never ... he'd never had anyone who-
"Is it a sickness?" she demanded. "Is it something broken within you?"
"Elide." Her name was a rasp on his lips. Lorcan dared reach a hand for her. But she pulled out of reach. "If you think that because you swore the blood oath to Aelin, it means anything for you and me, you're sorely mistaken. You're immortal-I'm human. Let us not forget that little fact, either."
Lorcan nearly recoiled at the words, their horrible truth. He was five hundred years old He should walk away—he shouldn't be so damned bothered by any of this. And yet Lorcan snarled, "You're jealous. That's what truly eats away at you."
Elide barked a laugh that he'd never heard before, cruel and sharp. "Jealous? Jealous of what? That demon you served?" She squared her shoulders, a wave cresting before it smashed into the shore. "The only thing that I am jealous of, Lorcan, is that she is rid of you."
Lorcan hated that the words landed like a blow. That he had no defenses left where she was concerned. "I'm sorry," he said. "For all of it, Elide." There, he'd said it, and laid it out before her. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
But Elide's face did not warm. "I don't care," she said, turning on her heel. "And I don't care if you walk off that battlefield tomorrow.
"I have never heard Lorcan apologize for anything. Even when Maeve whipped him for a mistake, he did not apologize to her."
"And that means he earns my forgiveness?"
"No. But you have to realize that he swore the blood oath to Aelin for you. For no one else. So he could remain near you. Even knowing well enough that you will have a mortal lifespan."
The birds shifted on their feet, rustling their wings in anticipation of flight. She knew. Had known it the moment he'd knelt before Aelin. Weeks later, Elide hadn't known what to do with it, the knowledge that Lorcan had done this for her. The longing to talk to him, to work with him as they had. She'd hated herself for it. For not trying to hold on to her anger longer.
It was why she'd gone after him tonight.
Not to punish him, but herself. To remind herself of who he'd sold their queen to, how profoundly mistaken she had been.
And her parting line to him ... it was a lie.
A disgusting, hateful lie.
Elide turned to Gavriel again. "I don't—" The Lion was gone. And for the cold flight over the army, then over the sea of darkness spread between it and the ancient city, even that wise voice who had whispered for the entirety of her life had gone quiet.
#Chapter 51#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Nesryn Faliq#Sartaq#Nestaq#Elorcan but ow#same with cadre today#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Gavriel#Fenrys Moonbeam#no spoilers please first read along with me chapter spoilers in post and tags with reacts quotes etc#Rule of ruk-didn’t care-he loved her-born on a battlefield-history of darkness cut through-I know-your a monster&i love you/hate me 4 it#A wave-no defenses for her-it was a lie-where’s Havilliard now-too quiet-all the fires-#FIVE HUNDRED YEARS-Hellas blessing or curse?-what she really was-she’d mastered it-it mattered to him#break my heart in an emo pit of doom why don’t you#why we gotta go pull an HoF ow move like that#There he'd said it and laid it out before her.—for all of it—I’m sorry—*I love you*#The Lion's usually warm face was grave-disapproving. You might as well have kicked a male already down.#Gavriels speech just split my soul in half#Gavriels speech just split my soul in half-what left-no more voices of reason#at least there’s happy Salkhi-Terrasen agenda thank you friend-A fine commander you are mooning over the Fae like a doe-eyed girl.#I wish I could go with them Borte sighed from where she was rubbing down Arcas. To fight alongside the Fae.#It would be unseemly for you to kill your own husband-poisoned sweetness-I'll just have to kill you some other time then#At least they're a little more clear about it nowI'm as confused as ever#And a day of death has made me want to hold you-giving her that disarming grin she had no defenses against#The prince lunged so fast for the brush Borte had discarded that Nesryn laughed
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.
I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃
#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag#trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened#and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents#but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO#they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her#but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers#and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming#(a conversation SHE started btw)#and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back#and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary???#that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you#like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive)#but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but.#if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that#i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions?#and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️'#(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent)#hate it. thanks#apostake#jay rambles#ok to interact#im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged#gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully#they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face#haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc#it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace#my sister's 17 ffs#it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void#religion#mormonism
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What do you think about GL4SS's faceless member?
You saw Quimchee"s last Patreon?
Hey! I don't typically talk openly about Patreon posts on here, just because I don't want to go around and repost things that we pay to see (since this is supplemental income for quimchee and I do want everyone who has the means and is interested to support her if possible) but I give some thoughts here that won't fully hinge on giving away an image to understand (and unfortunately those who aren't patrons, you'll probably want to skip this post as a result).
I have never been on board with the Aeri = Shinhye theme because it just didn't pan out in my opinion, but I understand why it was so tightly held on to! But in my opinion, the biggest hurdle was that NO idol has the time Shinhye does to stalk Shinae and follow her around the way she does - especially because Sumin was making digs at Alyssa missing dance practice. But the other thing was that I cannot buy that any amount of make up would make Shinhye look so different from Shinae that NOL wouldn't see Shinae in her. Nol, who was missing his friends so much he went and got himself white girl wasted and admitted that he'd much rather be there with them than here. Nol, who checked his spam messages KNOWING what he'd find in there. You're gonna tell me Nol looked at anyone who looks REMOTELY like Shinae and didn't see her in her? I don't buy it, that one is way too big of a stretch for me. Dieter recognized her. Minhyuk even struggled in his encounter with her because of how much she reminded him of Shinae.
So why hide her face from us? Why play up her identity? Honestly? idk LMAO but I do feel like.... it's possible MAAAYYBEEEEE that one of the members is Amy, the girl that Shinae stood up for in middle school when she was being bullied.
Quimchee's art style tends to change a lot, but something we can count on is how she draws eyes and eyelid folds. It's part of how she manages to show family resemblance in characters and how she doesn't fall into same-face syndrome; their eyes can define them.
What's harder for me to tell is if she's Aeri or if she's the third member whose face we've seen. There's also the girl we saw at the end of 110 - I've always assumed she's another member. I think just because we ARE playing with different styles through the eras, I'd want to see them all properly. The girl who reminds me of Amy in the patreon post has the similar eyelids, but when they're all in the back room at the Christmas party, I'm not sure - it might just be the angles.
It might not be her at all!
And yes, there's also the speculation that one girl resembles Yujing in her expression and overall body language, she just has some kind of Yujing attitude to her, doesn't she?
I'm really, really interested to see more about her groupmates but I wonder if they'll actually be revealed more any time soon. If only quimchee had a little more free time and could make them their own kpop profiles like we have for real groups lmao but alas I think quimchee is definitely hiding some secrets, otherwise why was Aeri's face withheld all this time until now?! Would Amy being one of the members be big enough to hide? I don't particularly think so, but I couldn't help but feel her face reminded me so much of the girl on the album cover. The fact that Amy was actually given a name always makes me wonder where she'll pop back up. This feels like.... a curious place which is why I'm not 100% sold on it, but I WILL stay seated on this theory until further notice lol
#I Love Yoo#ILY Brianrot#ILY Anon#Alyssa Cho#GL4SS#might as well give them a tag right lol#Sumin#Aeri#????????#my third mantra when it comes to ILY besides you know 'THE PARALLELS THE PARALLELS' and 'NOTHING IS TAKEN AT FACE VALUE' is#ALWAYS LOOK AT THE EYES AND EYELIDS#ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!#This is one I have some HMMMMM thoughts about and i'm not totally sold on my own speculation but I like to see where things go!#and if you feel comfortable nonny you can message me off anon and i'd be happy to talk more with you!!!!!#i just try my best not to leak things from patreon - i think quimchee is fine with us talking about things but when it comes to images#keep those on patreon because that's the incentive to support her you know?#but i love talking about patreon stuff because it feels like extra layers that eventually make their way into the story so yeah#feel free to message me if you're comfortable with it and have some thoughts!
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I just realized something. Love is an Open Door from Frozen would fit how younger Poppy fell in love (*cough* and Henry would make a pretty damn good Hans)
#Poppy: *singing about how shes fallen head over heels for this boy she just met*#Henry: Imma bout to ruin the girls whole career#It was partially Henry's charms that got her hooked- though honestly Poppy would have probably fallen for anyone else just as hard#she was in a REALLY bad spot at the time she snd Henry met#OC tid-bits#my own OC'S#Poppy#Henry Foxworth#(might as well give her exes tags too. i have a feeling theyre gonna be mentioned more in the future)#WFRR#Who Framed Roger Rabbit#disney
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Idk. There's just something about Inej meeting Alina in the show I don't like. Because in the books, Alina doesn't want to be worshiped, and you know she doesn't want to be worshiped - she doesn't even want to be a saint. But by the time Six of Crows comes around, she's divorced herself from that life entirely - there is no pain in people worshiping an already martyred saint. She made the decision that she would give up that life and that name at the cost of never getting to say anything about that life.
But in the TV show, Inej is worshiping a person who she met. A person who does not want to be worshiped. A person who can say as much. Book Inej would have immense respect for Alina if they met, but she would also respect Alina's wishes - which she didn't in the show, even if she had every opportunity.
I'm also generally not a fan of the way Alina's sainthood was pre-ordained in the show rather than being an intentional result of manipulation of her image; that very manipulation of her image and the subsequent loss of autonomy are so important to her character. But the fact that people were waiting for a saint in the show cheapens that a lot; it's like, well yeah, it sucks that Alina is getting this image of sainthood pushed onto her, but it would have happened to anyone. No one is to blame for her being a saint.
But there were so many people to blame in the books! The Apparat, mostly, but also the Darkling and even Nikolai to a degree. That manipulation is so twisted in the books, but in the show, it's just another Situation, and it feels so much more random
#there were two things i thought the show did really really well on#i know one of them was the ravkan civil war which i absolutely loved and i think the plot benefited so much from that addition#i can't remember the second but i know it was really good too#but in general i think the s&b and soc stories were shoehorned together for no good reason#they could have been adapted in continuity without blending them#im just :(( about it#i feel like alina's arc might be heading in the direction of hashtag owning her power like a girlboss#rather than taking power in her own way (by finally giving herself a small but comfortable life)#and its just disappointing#even if they don't go in that direction i think the arc will ultimately seem more jarring#ask to tag
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Special Dish: Sea God’s Catch
Base: Sashimi platter
❛❛ The fish and garnishes seem oddly cut, but nonetheless the meat is chilled, tender, and its fragrance holds a sweet zest to it and an odd hint of spice from the side made to go with it. With Danae’s usual lack of culinary skills, it seems she must have put lots of practice into this. And been a bit overeager in her efforts, the overwhelmingly hearty portion considered. Your expression seems to fluster her. “What?! A proper meal’s good to keep up your strength! So eat up! Wh–you want to share it?! I...ugh, fine, I’ll help you finish– ❜❜
#//Idk; fun hc bc why not lol#;mun has spoken#//Would you believe me if I said I struggled to find a dish she’d feasibly be able to prepare lmao#//And it fit her brand so yeeee#//Funny she would insist on making other people eat well to keep up their strengths considering how often she skips/forgets meals; innit#//But when she dotes on someone; she DOTES and she tends to overlook her own habits#//Hence the dialogue (smile)#disordered eating mention tw#//Tagging that jic#v; intertwined fates (genshin verse)#//Sharing food is a love language. Though she’s the one who usually tended to give up bigger portions of her food#//It's just how she got used to things while growing up. Big Sibling Responsibility and all that#//Then after they've parted ways; she's already gotten so in the habit of eating less; she gets a bit queasy actually eating her proper fil#//She no longer had/has to share; but she'll still chose to take smaller portions unless she's made to otherwise#//Whoops; that that's extra info#//Implied is that she essentially makes a Inazuma-Natlan sort of fusion#//It’s sashimi she sprinkled over with citrus juice; spices & then made something reminiscent of mango salsa to go with the sashimi#//Best eaten by scooping a bit of said salsa onto a strip of meat and rolling it to eat together#//Unconventional yes; but she likes it enough so she shares. Whether or not it's actually LIKED by others; That is up to interpretation lma#//Image set is an approx. idea of what it would look like. Might draw the actual one some time#//Uhhh; game stats would be...Increases all party members' ATK by 290 and CRIT Rate by 15% for 300s ig
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Hang on I was gonna put this in the tags, but I have contributing thoughts that are a bit larger:
This is a long post, but I thought it was an interesting read that gives a take that I feel many fandom creators share. So it's worth reading for that perspective at the very least.
For me personally though, I don't believe these problems are solved at all by locking fics on Ao3. It's not going to do much to stop the people who want to take it and disseminate it to the masses, as it only takes one "fan" to pass your work onto all the tourists.
But whether or not you can meaningfully stop theft isn't my main comment.
I think what locking fic on Ao3 in particular is more likely to do however is dissuade curious onlookers from actually getting more involved in the fandom (as a dedicated lurker or otherwise). This is specifically because when you're logged out of Ao3, it doesn't show you locked fics as things that exists but you can't access. Instead, ao3 it doesn't show you the locked fics at all. They don't exist. If everyone locks their fic, a curious onlooker trying to see if anything has been written for a show/movie/game they love will look on Ao3 and find.... that there's no community there at all. They would find nothing.
If it were a situation where it showed you the locked fics and then hit you with a "log in to continue" page if you tried to read it, then this wouldn't be so much of an issue. But because Ao3 hides locked fics from you completely if you're not logged in, I think it really is a detriment to new fans. These new fans can't even see that there's a barrier or a gate that they need to cross to get involved in fandom, they just see that nothing exists. And if nothing exists, then they're likely to move on and find something new to get interested in. Who is supposed to tell them that the community exists if only they knew the magic word?
I get why people choose to lock their fics, and I don't think anyone is wrong in making that choice for themselves. But I also think that it is overall a detriment to fandom spaces. Communities need to have ways of bringing new people in, and I worry that we'd miss a lot of great writers and readers this way.
Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available.
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community.
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company?
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists.
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits.
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people.
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it.
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
#if you were logged out and looked in the ironwasp tag you'd never know about everything ribbonelle has written for them#to me that is a such a great loss#imagine being a new fan having taste so good that you enjoy ironwasp and then never even knowing one of the founders of the ship#ribbonelle's choices are her own of course. but i can't deny all these new fans with impeccable taste the OTHER founder of the ship#i can't deny a new fan with no account that just watched tfa for the first time the ONLY wasp stockades fic in existence#i can't. they need that. They need that fic the same way we all needed and still he watches me#and i simply don't give a damn if someone tries to steal it from me#i'm not thrilled about theft obviously#but i'm even less thrilled about the idea of young wasp enjoyers not getting the closure of that stockades fic#I'm even less thrilled about the idea that a curious onlooker might be denied the chance to find reason to love that robot the way i do#but i do understand why people feel the way op does as well#when so much heart goes into writing these things
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