#I mean it I can’t bear anything bad happening to Scratch in game because he reminds me so much of my boy

[criticalgale]

Just my little “Scratch” being adorable again. ❤️

[jonathankatwhatever]

It is turning 17 Sept 2024. Not sure where to begin. The cat wants his head scratched. He actually wants food for the night.

One lesson of age is that you hurt yourself without doing anything. I hurt my neck, and it’s been getting worse, which means it’s partially delayed onset, which indicates a strain with some cramping. That suggests it’s a response to my being able to sleep on my stomach, and being able to turn my head to the right. And that fits to the changes in my bearing, which I think summarizes by saying my bearings are shifting perspective. I used to think that shifting to the right meant to my right side. I didn’t realize that was empowering the left side to act from behind the right. That literally flips me over the dividing line between the perspectives. Isn’t that cool?

I did some stretches while walking. I have come to believe a main reason in the NFL’s lack of scoring is the lack of pocket passing games. When they drop back, they look to play extenders, and that doesn’t allow the offense to develop a pass blocking rhythm or the team communication necessary to achieve that kind of consistency. Also, extended plays work sometimes, but they often have bad results as well. I’m sure someone has done numbers comparing extended to non-extended plays.

An example the other way is Ben Roethlisberger. He was known for holding the ball until a receiver got open, no matter what. That seemed to encourage the receivers to keep working, which made the plays. What is the message when the QB takes off a lot? Are the WR’s encouraged to get open or are they made too much into spectators?

But the idea is that you might as well work out because you will hurt yourself doing nothing much. The reason is that as you age you develop pathways which become your symmetries, the ways in which you can act iteratively, and these become embedded in your fascia. Your body aligns to hold the positions which access the symmetries. I make a habit of breaking up the fascia and finding positions which are true poses because those have the highest symmetry, those being the ideal iterations.

And that actually connects to turbulence, which is one of the big topics for the last few days, though barely mentioned. I had a clear vision of how it worked: began by thinking of super slo-mo, as mentioned before, and then realizing that amount of slowing is equivalent to the processing which actually occurs but which is almost not visible in our experience because it happens so fast. A trained eye can slow down the action, but that’s about focusing within the gsSpace, not processing more of the detail. Is that clear? Focus within the grid box identifies the key points important to a trained observer. They act like key frames in animation.

So, if we slo-mo, we’re slowing all the detail down by the same factor, which means we haven’t actually brought out the detail which really does happen too fast to see it in detail. An example is we can watch kayaks navigate rapids but can’t make out much detail of the movement of the water. That detail is lost unless you focus on a relatively small spot or space within the accessible venues, within the applicable grid box.

This is getting weird in my head. No warranties of whether this is correct or not. One oddity is that we can map a box to a square, and that maps coordinates in an idealized grid to and from the higher dimensional versions, like a grid box. Isn’t that a quaternion field relationship? I mean there are points in projection which represent the grid as boxes hidden behind the grid.

And of course this all maps to a line. Why not? It’s all uncountable.

Need some sleep. The car is much nicer than expected.

[muzzlemouths]

Prompt: "We dont have to do anything at all if that's what you want." Would be good for a bit of post panic comfort.

this prompt came right when I needed it too ngl...........

Sun & Moon Centric // Wordcount: 1,440

It starts with a bad day.

A bad day turns into a bad week, the bad week becomes a headache, then a migraine, and that migraine creates tension. The tension builds into restlessness. Overstimulation.

Which then becomes panic.

The first time you have an attack at work, it’s in front of Sun. It’s in the middle of your shift and it happens like all panic attacks do; like spilt milk, triggered by the smallest inconvenience. You aren’t sure what causes it - your shirt sleeve getting wet, a book falling on your toe, a child screaming just a little too loud - it could have been any number of things. You can’t remember. The moment was lost to you.

What you do remember is Sun’s face. He’s busy with a game when you catch yourself in the midst of it, and he looks up just in time to see you making a run for the door. A hand locked over your mouth, limbs shaking, tears on the brink of escaping, it’s all you can do just to get outside the two Daycare doors before all of it spills over.

Things are different after that. Something’s tilted, off kilter. Not on the brink of panic but drifting in the aftershocks of it, where the world is still only a distant whisper. You’ll get through it - or over it. You always do. It doesn’t mean the episode is any easier to bear, because you’re not really processing (you don’t have the energytimecourage to) you’re just enduring. The feeling will eventually become an afterthought.

Sun treats you like dainty orchid. Like any slight inconvenience will result in torn petals and another fit of tears. Maybe that’s the guilt; he wasn’t able to get to you that day - not without leaving the Daycare - and by the time you returned it was with a tight smile and a promise that you were alright. A lie he is quick to point out, and one you don’t fully deny.

He tiptoes around you at half his usual volume. He offers every opportunity to be a listening ear, convinced you aren’t going to get better until you talk out the storm cloud above your head.

And maybe that’s what you needed - to talk things out - but you sure as hell weren’t going to do that. What was the point? Talking was hard. Talking meant exposing things you’d prefer were kept hidden, especially when you already spent all of your energy on just existing. It would happen again, inevitably, and you would repeat this whole process without ever solving anything. Talking won’t change that.

He switches gears only a few days in. Distractions. If you can’t (won’t) talk about it, you must simply be overwhelmed by it. Breaking the emotions down into tiny bite-sized pieces will make them easier to digest, he thinks. Enough distraction and you might not think the issue is so big, you might not see it as this horrible, intimidating thing, and you might do something to confront it. Or, at the very least, let him in to fight the demons off in your stead.

So he pulls out all the stops. His offers to play games go continuously ignored, your favorite songs just bounce off your ears even when blasted through the Daycare speakers. His art makes you smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes, and he can tell. He can see it.

Nothing he does is what you need. When you trip, the bruise doesn’t go away overnight. Sometimes it turns an ugly color, first. Sometimes it takes weeks to disappear. Even then, the skin beneath it remains tender until it’s ready to move on. You can’t rush this soreness.

There’s no way to explain the process in a way he’ll understand.

There comes a point when he seems to acknowledge this. Somewhere towards the end of the week he stops trying all together, days of energetic attempts without success finally getting to him. He was built for joy. Built for comfort. This was an itch in his protocol that he couldn’t scratch and it was beginning to wear on him. He didn’t have the answers.

But maybe someone else did.

Sun is mostly quiet when you arrive at the Daycare that day - a sharp contrast to his usual habit of filling the air with speech bubbles - you don’t try to stop him. Not while he’s talking, and not when he stops, gets up, and moves somewhere out of view.

There’s several hours more to your shift and you’re content to stay here, slouched against a foam block, knees to your chest and all alone, until that time is up.

Sun has other plans; he always does. It’s a persistence that’s endearing on the best of days and frustrating on the worst, and you don’t have the mood for either today. You can only expect he has some new concept to get you up and moving, talking, living again, that he’ll return with party poppers or a new string of jokes to try out.

The change from day to night is an abrupt one. You don’t see him flip the switch, and if he says anything you don’t hear it - but the lights undoubtly go out, one by one, and you’re left in the resulting dark. A little early, you think, but it’s the only thought to cross your mind before your chin returns to your knees.

Moon’s arrival is inevitable. You hear him before you see him; silvery bells ringing in an otherwise silent room. Nothing more. You don’t bring yourself to greet him, and he doesn’t expect a hello. Doesn’t sound annoyed at the lack of one.

He’s silent himself when coming to a stop at your feet. Says nothing when he sits in the spot beside you. The foam gives at his weight, forcing your shoulders to collide. He doesn’t say anything then, either. You keep your head low, tucked into your knees, and despite all prior evidence stating that Moon will tease and taunt you for the mood, today he is quiet.

It’s unnerving at first. You think that he’s mad at you - that maybe Sun tattled on your lack of communication and has sent Moon to finish the job. You think he’s just waiting for a good opportunity to prod at your sores and rub salt in the wound. Indifference becomes anxiety. After the week you’ve had, you’re convinced the other shoe is about to drop.

But it never comes. Moon mostly reflects your position; knees tucked to his chest, arms wrapped loosely around them. You can see his telltale red glow every few minutes - checking up on you, apparently - but still saying nothing.

You sniffle, burying your eyes into your sleeve and cursing the way they sting. You already made a fool of yourself in front of Sun, you didn’t want to repeat the process with Moon, who evidently wasn’t in the mood to talk with you anyways.

Eventually you have to break the silence.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” You force your way around a swallow, “Try convincing me to talk? Tease me for crying? Something?”

“Do you want me to?” His answer comes quick, catching you off-guard. He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

“It’s what I expected…” your fingers clench around the fabric of your pants. You wipe your face on your sleeve, clearing your throat. It croaks all the same. “You’re really not going to push me to talk?”

His eyes leave you, looking ahead, “We don’t have to do anything,” he tells you, “if that’s what you want.”

You lift your chin, but his gaze remains off to the distance.

The returning silence answers his question.

His arms raise into a stretch, then lazily curl behind his head. He settles deeper into the foam with the intention of making himself comfortable for however long you'll be there.

You don’t realize how much of your weight was supported by his shoulder until you’re slumped to the side and landing square against him.

He says nothing about it, and you don’t, either.

It stays like this for some time. True to his word, Moon doesn’t push for anything. You sit in relative silence instead; your head on his chest, his arm eventually settling over your back. And you’re fine with that - with all of it. You aren’t pressured to feel okay, like this, and Moon doesn’t expect you to try.

It’s everything you need for the moment. No talking, no expectations, no pushing for you to reach at a happiness that still felt too distant. Sometimes silence speaks the loudest, and all that.

Him simply being here, beside you in the quiet, is more than enough.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection… 

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral�� or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan 

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge… 

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily… 

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏

[bright-molina]

Emergency Contact

synopsis: Sometimes it takes an accident and the revelation that Buck is Luke's emergency contact to really bring the Buckley-Mercer (et al) Family to the same page.

fandoms: Julie and the Phantoms x 911

relationships/characters: Buckley!reader (gender neutral), Alex Mercer, Evan Buckley, Luke Patterson, Athena Grant, Maddie Buckley (all relationships are familial/platonic)

word count: 2503

warnings: mentions of minor injuries (and I mean minor, sprained ankle, minor concussion is all)

a/n: @biqherosix surprise! Catch me pushing the Buckley-Mercer family agenda cause I can. For anyone wondering, we're running with the idea that they're cousins. I honestly have no idea where this came from, I wrote it at like midnight yesterday. And it only figures that the first thing I post in forever is a crossover that is mostly self-indulgent but I promise I'm trying to get the hang of things again.

For those of y'all that haven't seen 911 but still wanna read: one, I appreciate you so much oh my gosh, two, I highly recommend it and three, all you really need to know for this one is that Buck is a firefighter with the 118, Athena Grant is a police officer, and Maddie is Buck's older sister and a 911 dispatcher. If I missed anything and you wanna know feel more than free to ask!

The absolute last thing you expected was your phone ringing well past midnight.

“Don’t answer it.”

Alex’s voice sounded from beside you, muffled by the pile of blankets he was buried under. You rolled your eyes and reached for your phone only to have him snatch it out of your grip and stuff it under the blankets alongside him.

“Give it back!”

“No,” Alex crossed his arms tighter, ignoring the second ring completely. “It’s probably Buck checking to see if we’ve gone to sleep yet, if you answer he’ll know we’re still up.”

“Like Buck would voluntarily be up right now. He’s fifteen hours into a twenty four hour shift,” You leaned back against the couch, knowing there was no tearing the phone away from Alex. “Will you at least check who it is to make sure it’s not Maddie?”

Alex groaned, loud and exaggerated, before sticking his head underneath his blankets to check your phone. You were just barely able to hear his panicked ‘uh oh’ before he put on his best fake tired voice and answered, “Hello?”

“Alexander Mercer, what are you doing awake at this hour?”

“I wasn’t awake.”

“Sure you weren’t. Give the phone to y/n.”

He was handing you the phone in a flash and you could see his wide eyes in the dim blue light coming from the living room tv. “It’s Athena.”

“Thanks, I heard. And I told you so,” You smacked him with your pillow when he stuck his tongue out and he quickly ducked back under the blankets. Whether he was hiding from you or Athena was up for debate. “Hi Athena.”

“Y/N,” Uh oh was right. You recognized the tone in her voice immediately. Exasperated and tired with a little bit of worry laced through. “You wouldn’t be able to get ahold of Buck would you?”

“I could,” You sat up straighter and Alex peeked out from under the blankets again, craning his neck to listen in on the conversation. “Is something wrong? Can’t you call Captain Nash?”

“I could,” Athena echoed your words back to you and you heard muffled shouting in the back. “But Captain Nash isn’t Luke’s emergency contact.”

“His what!”

“It’s not a big deal!” Luke’s voice. It was him who had been shouting. “I’m fine!”

“The cast you’re wearing says different,” There was a click on the other end of the line and Alex tripped over the discarded blankets and pillows as he rushed to look for the car keys. “We couldn’t reach him and Maddie was his second emergency contact but May said she went home early today.”

“Yeah, uh, she -” You put on your shoes as fast as possible and reached for the nearest sweater, one you were sure wasn’t yours. “Jee’s teething so she - she’s probably busy with her. What happened? Luke -”

“Is fine. You just focus on getting to the station and bringing Buck to Med cause he’s gotta fill out some papers. I’ll stay here with him until you do.”

“Okay. Okay we’ll be there soon.”

“Y/N put me on speaker,” Athena must’ve been able to hear the panic in your voice. She knew both you and Alex well enough to know every emotion that was running through you both at that moment. “I want both of you to listen to me. Luke is okay. A little scratched up. Maybe a bruised ego. But he’s just fine, I promise you.”

If there was anybody you trusted it was Athena Grant. So you and Alex shared a look, thanked her, and sprinted out of the apartment wondering what on earth Luke had gotten himself into.

“What do you mean you don’t know!”

“Athena didn’t tell us anything!” You shouted right back at Buck despite knowing it probably wasn’t the best idea given the time or the circumstances. Alex was a few feet away, talking quietly to Chimney to have him relay a message to Maddie. She’d be less angry if the news came from him.

“I thought he went back home,” Buck shook his head before jogging down the stairs and you followed him. He all but charged to the locker room and started shoving all his things in the duffel he always carted with him from the apartment to the station and back. “I thought he was okay.”

It wasn’t until then, until you caught a glimpse of his reflection in the little mirror in his locker surrounded by pictures, that you realized something. Evan Buckley, the firefighter, your brother who always seemed so fearless, was scared.

Buck’s mind was racing at a million miles an hour. He kept going through every piece of information he could from the last two days. Luke had promised him. Sworn he was going back home to his parents. He should’ve known better. They were too much alike and he should’ve known better.

He supposed the worrying came with the territory. The anxiety and panic and not knowing were all things he didn’t like but things he would bear if it meant making sure one of his own was okay.

He had always been protective. You were the youngest Buckley and he took it upon himself to make sure you had a better life than him and Maddie had had. Alex was family and he didn’t hesitate to give him a home when he needed one, metaphorically and literally.

And somewhere along the way the Buckley-Mercer family had grown without him realizing it. Alex had brought his band, his friends, over for dinner once and from that moment on they became a fixture in his life.

Bobby, who was surprised the first time Maddie grinned and hugged him, telling him how proud she was of him. Reggie, who was the first to accept a place in their makeshift home, needing the support and love they offered more than anything. And Luke, who was stubborn and wore his heart on his sleeve and fit right in with them.

And Buck couldn’t believe he had let them down. He couldn’t believe that he tried so hard to let Luke know he was there for him and he had failed. If he had just paid a little more attention then -

“I know what you’re thinking,” Your voice cut off his thoughts and he paused for a moment before continuing.

“No you don’t.”

“You’re blaming yourself. It’s what you always do,” You watched as he pocketed his phone and zipped up the bag. “It’s what you did when I thought I could jump off the swing and ended up with a broken arm even though you couldn’t have stopped me. It’s what you did when Alex had that really bad allergic reaction even though none of us knew he was allergic in the place. It’s what you’re doing now.”

Buck slammed the locker shut without meaning to and silently wondered how you seemed to know everything about him when he seemed to know nothing about any of you, not really. He wasn’t like you or Maddie or Alex and that had never been more clear.

“I’m not blaming myself. I just -” He sighed and walked out of the locker room, past you and Alex, and around to the drivers side of the car. He didn’t get in yet. Instead he glanced between the two of you. “I’m not Maddie. I don’t know how to tell what you guys are thinking. I don’t know how to do the things she does. I can’t help how she does. But - but maybe if I could then -”

“You’re right,” You cut him off, already knowing where he was going. “You’re not Maddie. But we don’t need another Maddie, we need Buck.”

“Y/N’s right,” Alex leaned against the top of the car and gave an easy shrug. “Maddie does family dinners every week and helps us with homework and keeps superhero bandaids around for when Reg and Bobby come back from the skate park with scrapes all over them. But you host game nights and come to every one of our practices when you’re not here and tell really bad jokes when you know we need to hear them.”

“They aren’t bad -”

“Yeah they are,” Both you and Alex answered in sync, successfully pulling the faintest laugh from Buck.

“You’re Buck,” You repeated and finally opened the door of the car. “And when Luke left home he came to you. Athena said you’re his emergency contact because he trusts you more than anyone else. We all do.”

It took less than a couple seconds for Buck to nod and get in the car, the two of you following his lead. Moments later he was speeding away from the 118 and in the direction of the hospital, determined to be where he was needed.

“You’re an idiot, Luke Patterson.”

“Wow thanks,” Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on the couch, an action that earned him a scolding from you, and kept picking at the fabric of the pillow he was holding to him.

It was nearing mid morning and you had all gotten back to Buck’s apartment only a short while ago. The combined insistence and intimidation coming from both Buck and Athena meant the doctors had no choice but to run as many tests as necessary until they were positive Luke was fine.

Your eyes scanned his face again, a habit you’d picked up from Maddie, in an attempt to assess the damage once more to be sure nothing had gone wrong in the last ten minutes.

A butterfly bandage on his forehead above his left eye. Some scrapes on his arms from the fall. The brace around his right ankle propped up on the coffee table and some pillows. A tear in his favorite flannel that you were already patching up.

“What were you thinking?” You sighed and dropped your hands, turning in your spot beside him to look at him and read all the expressions flashing across his face. “You got hit by a car, Luke.”

“I did not!” He flinched when Alex, fast asleep across the other couch, shifted a little at the noise. Buck did the same thing upstairs in the loft, though he recognized the sound of talking and opted to listen in. “I swerved out of the way. The bike lost control and I hit the pavement but I’m fine.”

“The mild concussion and sprained ankle beg to differ,” You stared again. Luke refused to meet your eyes, refused to look anywhere around the apartment that wasn’t the pillow on his lap. He’d been doing the same thing since Buck had nearly busted down the door of the room he’d been sitting in at the hospital. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” Luke finally sighed, knowing you wouldn’t let it go any time soon. “I just - I did go home. At first. And i-it was okay until my mom started doing that -that thing she does. The voice, talking down, asking when I was gonna start getting serious, telling me I should do better. I tried but she wouldn’t stop saying all of it so I -” His shoulders sank and his head hung low and you moved closer. “I left.”

“So why didn’t you come back here?” You reached out, hand on his arm in an attempt to get him to hear you. To listen to you. To talk to you. “What made you think you couldn’t?”

It took a few moments but when Luke finally looked up his eyes were watering and he looked unsure. He looked scared and he was never scared. “I didn’t want to disappoint anyone else.”

“I don’t know if you know this,” You gave a sigh and leaned against the back of the couch on one arm. “But we are, historically, a pretty messed up family.”

You successfully pulled a laugh from Luke and a muffled ‘shut up’ from Alex only made the two of you laugh more. But when the laughter faded away you were left with the ghost of those doubts. Present and needing closure. To be acknowledged and reassured.

“There is nothing you could do that would disappoint Maddie and Buck, believe me,” You gave him a faint, sad smile and for a second he wondered what memories were the source of it. “And you never have to be scared. We’re your family and we’re here for you. Me and Alex and Buck and Maddie. Athena who stayed with you until we got there and after. Chimney who’s breaking the news to Maddie to save us all. Albert. May. Bobby. Reggie. You have all of us. I hate to break it to you but you’re a part of our weird little family and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon. So please, please never feel like you have to hide from us. You’re home here, Luke.”

And he believed every word. For a moment he wondered why he ever doubted it in the first place. It was evident in the way he had a designated spot at the dining table at Maddie’s place. In the way his clothes took up a good amount of space in one of the dressers upstairs. In the pair of house keys that hung on a chain around his neck. Reggie and Bobby were also given a pair long ago.

“Does one of you want to explain to me what the hell happened!” The sound of the door being thrown open startled all of you. Alex sat up quickly and Buck came barreling down the stairs to meet Maddie at the door.

Bobby and Reggie came in after her, holding piles of various items she’d insisted on bringing with. They were followed moments later by Albert carrying bags filled with takeout and then Chimney with Jee-Yun in her car seat.

It was dead silent for a moment as Maddie looked between her siblings, her cousin, and the boy she considered one of her own. They were all her family and that was that.

Finally the silence was broken by Luke leaning over in your direction and quietly asking, “Hey, does home have a place I can hide from Maddie until she’s less mad?”

“Oh, Luke,” You offered him a smile he recognized as a slightly sympathetic yet playful one. “There is nowhere you can hide where Maddie’s anger, love, and aggressive post-injury nurturing won’t reach. Good luck.”

She sat in your spot the moment you stood up and was immediately making sure Luke was okay. Her eyes scanned each injury just as yours had and when she finally let him take a breath he looked around.

All of this, the chaos that was unpacking the various takeout boxes. Setting up a little station on the kitchen island with various medical supplies. Chasing Jee-Yun around as she crawled and wobbled all around the place. Music playing softly in the background as everyone smiled and talked and felt relieved that he was okay.

This was home. Luke was sure of it.

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[kbandtrash]

SKZ Mafia Bullet Point

~Megan~

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.6k

Jisung!

Neither of you were actually part of the mafia

You were just two classmates who weren’t really familiar with each other at all

Until one fateful day when Changbin, a mafia boi, who had been flirting with you for ages, cornered you in an alley

He seemed a little confused

“You’re the one they’re after?” he said with a frown

“Who’s after me???”

He bit his lip, pulling out his gun slowly

“My family, can’t imagine why though.”

“Then why don’t you let me go?” you said, trying hard not to freak out

He shuffled his feet and checked his watch, then aimed the gun at your chest

He had an unsure little smile on his lips, almost apologetically

“C-come with me, and I won’t kill yo-”

“HEY!” Jisung yelled from down the alleyway

He was running toward you like a squirrel in a tree

His fluffy hair had butterfly clips and he looked anything but intimidating

Changbin sighed in relief

“Alright, I surrender, see you guys later!”

He yeeted out of there, throwing his gun down and grinning sheepishly

Jisung reached you and bent down, breathing hard

“Did he… hurt you?” he asked with a deep breath

You shook your head, smiling

“That was horrifying but at least you saved me?”

He grinned, honestly looking like a squirrel

A very handsome squirrel

“Glad to help.”

You composed yourself, checking that you were okay for real

“You seem familiar?” he said with a raised eyebrow

“Uh… I’m Lee Y/N, if that’s any help?”

He went red

“You’re Minho’s little sister?”

Basically Jisung is good friends with your brother but they’re boys so Minho never let you guys meet

But Jisung is in your class so all of Minho’s efforts are ruined

“Speaking of Minho… I should probably get home,” you said, pressing your lips together

Jisung nodded

“I’ll take you home, and maybe say hi to-”

“NO!” you shouted nervously. “I mean… uh, Minho would freak out if he saw us together, you know?”

Jisung nodded again, hanging his head

“I’ll follow you, then.”

You looked at him strangely

“You we’re just threatened with a gun, and you heard Changbin. His family is after you. They might be everywhere. I’ll just follow you at a fair distance…”

He met your eyes and swallowed

Your eyes were sparkling

“Thanks, then,” you said with a smile

“N-no problem.”

So you head home

Nothing happens

Then a few minutes after you get home a knock comes at the door

Minho yells from his room: “DON’T GET IT, IT’S MY- A GUY!”

You knew it was. It’s Jisung. You laughed and hurried to your room, closing the door, because Minho would kill you if you were outside where they would be

But that evening a knock came at your door

You slowly opened it, confused

Minho stood there with a big frown

“We were playing truth or dare.”

You laughed at him before he continued

“He dared me to invite you to hang with us, and if I don’t do it I have to tell him who I like, plus I won’t get my pringles back.”

You laughed even harder

But because you were nice and were kind of interested in the funny, nice squirrel, you went out and played video games with them

Jisung was HILARIOUS. And you learned that among friends he was known as a quokka. And you were even more interested in him

Hanging with him and Minho it felt like he was being himself

It made your heart flutter at how cool he was

The next time someone looked at a clock it was really late and dark outside

Jisung had walked over and Minho had his license so he drove the quokka home

(Jisung had declined the offer, but Minho refused to let him go outside where there might be dangerous gang activity)

You were home alone

A soft, quick knock came at your door

You almost missed it

Who could it be? you thought

You looked through the window and saw Changbin standing there with a few other guys

Your heart dropped

Another set of louder knocks came

You ran to your room, shutting the door

The first thing that came to your mind was you had to call the police

And then you would text Minho to let him know

The knocks turned into pounding

“Yes, hello, these guys are at my house, one of them threatened me with a gun earlier…”

After you called the police you sent this text:

There are bad guys outside right now, I called the police, so don’t come back and stay safe. I’ll be okay.

Then you heard the front door open.

In Minho’s car, he was on a slightly busy road (who knows why it was so busy so late at night)

When you texted him, he was too busy being a safe driver to look

Jisung looked at it

“Hyung, Y/N’s in trouble.”

Minho was stuck on a road where it would be difficult to head back home quickly

“Hyung, pull over.”

Minho was freaking out

Jisung was shaking, trying to reassure Minho

They both knew if either of them drove in the state of worry they were in, it wouldn’t be safe

So Jisung ran.

He ran like his life depended on it to your house

It felt like he would be too late

He arrived, hearing police sirens in the distance

“The dang station is too far away from here”

He did the dumbest thing he’s ever done and walked right into the house, where four guys with guns were shouting and pounding on doors

They hadn’t found your door yet

Changbin saw Jisung first

The quokka felt his heart drop when he saw a gun aimed at him

But he threw all fear for himself aside and ran right at Changbin, pushing him onto the ground

Changbin was crying, asking why in the world he had to be part of a mafia

Jisung took his gun from him, saying “I’m sorry, hyung, just please give up.”

Then he scampered away and slammed the edge of the gun on a guy’s head

The guy flopped to the floor, out cold

Who knew I could do that??? Jisung wondered

Then he spotted a frying pan

He laughed at himself but grabbed it anyway, heading toward the upstairs, where the other two guys and your room were

One of the guys was prepared, firing a bullet, but missing

Jisung used his adrenaline to smack him in the face before another bullet fired

When Jisung looked around again, he couldn’t find the fourth guy

But he could hear you screaming

“Y/N!”

He sprinted to your room and without thinking slammed open the door, unprepared

A bullet bit right across his shoulder, causing him to shout

He stumbled, beginning to shake at the sight of you

Jisung recognized the guy from somewhere

Then it hit him when the guy smirked

“Johnny Suh?” Jisung squeaked out

Johnny shrugged maliciously and turned back to you

You were on the floor, pushed up against the wall, looking sick and determined

The quiet police sirens were now much louder

Johnny, looking slightly rushed, pulled his knife on you

Jisung had dropped his frying pan but his other hand (uninjured) still held the gun he took earlier

He had no idea how to use it

But he couldn’t bear to just watch Johnny use his knife on you

You writhed in your place, whimpering

It looked like you had already been scratched once before

They weren’t deep cuts and they weren’t in vital places

But you were in pain

That’s what Johnny wanted

“Y/N, if you let me take you out of here without any more fighting back,” Johnny tried to say, but he was cut off

Jisung had thrown the gun - with his non-dominant hand - with a loud grunt

And it hit Johnny exactly on the back of his head

It hit the perfect spot to cause him to teeter and crash to the ground

Your eyes widened as you shakily held the cuts, glancing from Johnny to Jisung

“Jisung,” you cried, relieved

Jisung held in sobs as he ran toward you, collapsing next to you, unable to stay upright

“Y/N, the p-police are almost- almost here.”

You nodded slowly, pressing your lips together with tears spilling down your cheeks

“We’ll be okay.”

It felt like it would take forever before you two would leave the hospital, but it didn’t last long

The police had interviewed you both a little about the attack just for evidence

You heard from an officer that the Seo family was put behind bars but Changbin was still being inspected to see what would happen

When you and Jisung finally made it back to school your friends were freaking out

Well

They would be freaking out one second

But then they would suddenly say “Y/N and Jisung sitting in a tree-”

You didn’t appreciate it until Jisung finally got over himself and asked you out

So basically

You were dating Jisung

And then you realized you had to introduce him to Minho as your boyfriend

So one day Minho invited Jisung over and Jisung came inside and ran to you

“Y/N baby I missed you!!”

Big hug :)))

Minho’s jaw dropped and then he cleared his throat

“Thank goodness it’s someone we can trust to always take care of you.”

So big uwus

Anyway in the end Minho approved your relationship, Changbin got to come back to school after a few months, and through Changbin and Jisung your friend group got a whole lot bigger

The end :))

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 5:  Camaraderie

AN:  More Cat and Mouse.  I swear its gonna start to crescendo, guys, we’re almost there XD  There’s just so much to establish!

Characters:  Fem!Vampire!Reader, Levi, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld

Pairing:  (Eventual)  Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings:  Language, Loneliness, Depressed Thoughts

Word Count:  8146

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

*Reader’s POV*

While it wasn’t the most shocking thing that had ever happened to you, being instated as a member, but not technically a member, of the Special Operations Squad was definitely up there on your list of most surprising things that had happened to you.  The weird in-between position they gave you to try and mediate how unprecedented it was to have a rookie join Levi Squad after just one expedition may have been a glorified lackey, but it was still a position with Captain Levi’s Squad.

Of course, right now, that consisted of doing the menial chores, message delivery, and other small tasks like that, but you were still a part of the team.  They’d only given you this aid position they’d made on the spot because you were so new, and it did a decent job of putting you at the bottom of the food chain until you were more seasoned.  However, you were still considered part of Captain Levi’s Squad--you had your own private chambers and everything, which meant you wouldn’t have to worry about not waking up anyone while you snuck out of the barracks every once in a while to get something to eat.

Also, now that you were officially being placed with a squad, you knew what people you had to try and made friends with.  Before you’d been hesitant--sure, you understood that the Scouts operated in a way that was going to make teamwork and camaraderie important, so you were going to have to be more social, but you still wanted to be careful about who you let get close.  You still had an instinct to keep everyone at an arm’s length besides those you /had/ to keep close, which you had rationalized would include whoever you were put under and the rest of your squad.

While you’d known Levi was watching you and the rumors had been running rampant that a rookie would be joining his squad, you’d been well aware that he wasn’t watching you because he wanted to add you to the group--he was suspicious of you.  That sparring match you’d had with him had tipped him off, and he hadn’t relented in his pursuit ever since then.  In fact, when he’d told you that you were going to be a part of his squad, he didn’t look entirely pleased about it.  Sure, Captain Levi was usually hard to read and usually appeared distant or unapproachable, but the look in his eyes had been...colder.  It made you suspicious that having you on the squad had not been his decision, or at the very least it had been one he’d made despite his reservations.

Keep your enemies close, right?

Once it was on the table that this might be a position meant solely as an excuse to keep a closer eye on you, it made your skin crawl, and you approached every situation with caution.  You had to watch every step, like you were walking across a tightrope and would drown if you slipped and fell into the waters down below.

When you’d joined the Scouts, you knew that it was going to be difficult to balance being a Scout with hiding your true nature, but this was far beyond what you had expected.  It made you dearly wish that you had thrown that match back on the training grounds, that he’d never gotten a sense that you were hiding something so fiercely.  

Soon, you were going to be kept up at night with an internal struggle to either stick it out and try to endure so you could do what you came here to do, or if you should just take off and slink back into the shadows.

But you couldn’t bear the thought of going back to that life, as much as it might have been ‘safer’ in a way.  You wanted desperately to be here--but did you want it bad enough that you were going to throw all caution to the wind, risk the Captain getting too close to your secret.  In the past, before you’d joined the military, you’d killed the people who came too close to exposing you.  But that wasn’t an option, here.  You knew how valuable Captain Levi was to the Scouts--humanity couldn’t afford to lose him, so you couldn’t afford to touch him.  Your only choice was to play this god forsaken cat and mouse game and pray that you came out on top.

Thankfully, the other members of the squad weren’t aware of the cat and mouse you and Levi were caught up in--not yet, anyway.  Though they were understandably confused and even a little irritated at the inclusion of a still-green rookie, even if it was as an aid.  Maybe the aid position caused a bit more tension, because a new position had been created just so you could be added to the group.

Give it time, you told yourself as you continued cleaning your private room that had been assigned to you, currently working on cleaning the desk off until it had a polished shine to it.  Even if Levi hadn’t added you to the squad because he necessarily wanted you here, you were still going to prove that you could belong here, if they would let you.

“Did you finish with the stables?”

“Yes, sir.  Mucked out, equipment cleaned, horses fed, watered, and brushed, shoes cleaned, all of it.”

“What about cleaning inside, have you done all the tasks you were assigned?”

“All except what Oluo asked me to do.  I haven’t got there yet."

"Well, get to it.  And when you're done come down to the training grounds for some training."

"Yes, sir!"

As you walked away from Eld, your ears picked up on a passing comment he made to Gunther when he thought you were out of earshot.

“Is it just me, or is it frustrating how easily and quickly she tends to get all of her tasks done?  I can’t even find anything wrong with it, so I can’t claim she’s rushing through it!”

"You too?  I thought it was just Oluo complaining about that."

Just as you'd suspected.  The others weren't pleased with your easy access to this position.  They weren't going to say anything because they trusted Levi’s judgement and as far as they knew it was his decision, but that didn't mean they weren't going to be at least a little irritated.  How long had it taken before they'd been added to Levi’s squad?  How many expeditions, how much hard work?  By all accounts, it looked like you'd had smooth and effortless sailing into a position among the elite.

The fact they kept having you do the shit chores was just a way to kick you back in the dirt and remind you that you were still a rookie, and they were the veterans with experience.

However, you didn't complain.  You could do the jobs faster than anyone without loosing accuracy because of it.  Not to mention you felt it might be cathartic for their frustrations.  Though, now it seemed they had a new reason to be frustrated.

You'd tone it back to appease them, but Levi already knew what your full effort looked like with the cleaning jobs--he'd know you were holding back, and you highly doubted he'd appreciate that when it came to cleaning, knowing his standards.

Quickly, you made your way back inside and up to Oluo's chambers, stopping outside the door and giving a firm knock.

"Who's there?"

"It's L/N, you said you had a job for me to do?"

"It's about time you showed up.  Get in here!"

After he'd officially invited you inside, you opened the door, stepping inside and expecting to see paperwork or supplies or something else you would have to deliver or put away.

Nope.  Oluo was standing there with cleaning supplies presented in the middle of the room.  You immediately knew where this was going, and even you could tell it wasn't going to end well.

"Start cleaning, rookie.  I've got more important things I have to get done, and I want it shining by the time I get back," Oluo ordered, complete with a puffed out chest.

You were supposed to follow their orders without question, but you knew Oluo was taking advantage of that fact.  Maybe he was hoping having you clean his quarters before Levi inspected them later today would help him look better to the Captain.  But you were also certain that Levi would recognize that it was your work and not Oluo's

For Oluo's sake, since you were certain he would be the one getting in trouble, you pushed back slightly.

"Doesn't Captain Levi prefer if we clean our own spaces?" You asked as you picked up the broom.  Oluo turned by the door, fixing you with the imitation of an expression befitting a superior who'd just heard a subordinate talk back.

"Huh?  How long have you been here, rookie, compared to me?" Oluo challenged.  You shrugged, turning back to the cleaning supplies and the room you were supposed to clean.

His funeral.

The window was open to let in natural light and try to chase away the gloomy atmosphere in your room, silence filling the space except for the birds outside and the scratching against the paper you were currently drawing on.  Your eyes, however, were unfocused, looking past the piece you were drawing and instead getting lost in the sea of your depressed thoughts.

For three years you’d been back among people, mingling and being a part of society, but never had you felt so...ostracized.  You were among people, but you weren’t close to anyone.  Your peers thought you were a haughty perfectionist ice queen and were irritated by how easily everything came to you, Captain Levi was suspicious that there was something you were hiding and was watching your every move with a coldness in his eyes, and your new squad mates were currently using you as the gopher to dump all the chores they didn’t want to do onto you while giving you examining, dubious looks from a distance trying to figure out why you were even here.

You sat alone at meals, you didn’t go anywhere on your days off--the closest thing you had to a companion were the horses, and most of them were still frightened by you.

You wanted to be here, but...it was getting so hard just to be here.  Was it really worth it if you were going to spend your days feeling like this?

On the paper spread out in front of you, you had a picture drawn from the mental image in your mind’s eye--a single flower in a barren spot surrounded by lush field.  The sun shone everywhere else, but this single spot was cast in shadow.  Despite the barren ground and the lack of sunlight, the flower was trying to bloom, partially budded, some petals trying to uncurl, but ice covered it’s petals and held prisoner it’s stem, restraining it in the icy chill, needing assistance but nothing around it willing or able to help.

You put down what you were drawing with, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes as you headed over to your bed and stretched out on top of the neatly made covers, arms digging under the pillow you buried your face in before tears could overflow.

You were surrounded by people, but you’d never felt so lonely, and you wanted it to change.  Even though you’d signed up for this and known it would be difficult, you couldn’t take living like this anymore.  Something had to change.  You didn’t know how you were going to keep your secret while trying to let people in enough to form bonds, but it was the only real option that you had.

The guys were all dubious of you, you could tell from overheard conversations and the looks in their eyes, but Petra...well, you thought if you were going to start trying to build a friendship somewhere, she might be the one to go to.  She’d been a bit more...open, about the whole arrangement, and she was actually asking for help and trying to get a feel for you while everyone else seemed to be going out of their way to remind you that you were at the bottom of the food chain right now.

Starting tomorrow...you were going to try and be a companion and hopefully manage to find some friendship.  Starting with Petra.

*Petra’s POV*

The mess hall was noisy as ever, making it a little surprising that Captain Levi was still sitting with them at the table after repeating the lecture he'd given Oluo later about doing his own cleaning.  Now that Oluo had attempted to have the rookie clean his space and then pass it off as his own, the rest of them got to get the warning to do their own responsibilities without shoving them all off on the new girl.

Petra had felt bad that she seemed to be getting all the crap jobs nobody wanted to do and then some while the others seemed determined to make sure she knew her place, but she hadn't said anything because not once had the woman complained or looked the least bit upset by it.  Until today, Petra had been unsure how to even approach her, something about her making her seem closed off and unreachable.

However, today she had approached Petra, quietly asking Petra if she would teach her the nuances for how everything was cleaned around here.  Preferences of soaps and organization, what went where and the like.  You could clean till everything shone like a new coin, bur preferences had to be taught or learned.  She'd been aware of it, and she had been humble enough to approach Petra for answers.

It was only when she was approached that Petra suddenly realized how alone the woman seemed.  She never ate with them--in fact she was certain she ate alone--and she was never seen around anyone from her years as a cadet, she didn't seem to leave headquarters to visit family, and if you needed to find her she was either alone in her room or with the horses in the stable.  She was never with someone unless she was doing her job.

The thing that made Petra realize all this was how she was approached.  The woman shifted her weight, a white knuckle grip on the broom in her hand despite visible restraint, her eyes fixed down and to the side, a slight tremble in her hand and a hunch of her shoulders like she was anticipating some negative reaction, or at least reluctance.

It wasn't right.  She was part of their squad, and it was their job to make sure she felt included.  Captain Levi must have felt that she was ready on some level to be here, and they were her comrades.  At the very least, she should have a place among them--she shouldn't be so alone.

So, while everyone else was chatting as usual around the table, Petra kept an eye out for their new squad member.  It took a while, but when the woman finally appeared and left the line to get her food, Petra attempted to catch her attention without the others noticing.

They locked gazes, and Y/N hesitated before she approached their table, making the others look up as she came astride the table.

"May I sit here?" she asked hesitantly, gaze flickering around at the others and lingering briefly on Captain Levi at the head of the table.

"Of course," Petra said instantly, gesturing to an empty seat beside her and flashing a look at the others daring them to disagree while Y/N was taking her seat.  "It's about time you started sitting with your squad."

Her cheeks tinged pink in mild embarrassment, Y/N took a few bites of her meal, clearly uncertain about what to do next.

Well, if everyone else was just going to sit here in awkward silence, and Y/N wasn’t going to take the initiative because she wasn’t sure how, Petra would just have to do it herself.

“So, where are you from?” Petra asked her.  It was probably the best, simple answer to get the ball rolling on conversation.

“A small town in Wall Rose--it tends to get overlooked, and it's usually quiet around there except the occasional scandal.”

“Do you have much family back home?”

“No, it’s just me.”

The way she said it was short, clearly ending the topic there, but she managed to not make it sound mean--just that she wasn’t entirely comfortable talking about it, which made sense.  Petra continued to chat with her, asking simple questions to try and learn more about her, basing some off her observations of the woman--like if she was good with animals.  Apparently animals weren’t always that fond of her, but she had a soft spot for them despite some animals distaste of her.  She thought she might be good with cats or birds, but hadn’t really had the opportunity to test her theory out.

After a bit of back and forth between Petra and Y/N about their lives and learning about one another, the others started to join in as well--aside from Captain Levi, who seemed content to just focus on his meal and listen while everyone talked around him.  As the conversation flowed a little more naturally, Y/N started to loosen up and relax, taking charge of the conversation a few times to ask about the others as well as she bloomed from a closed off background character in a novel to a more outgoing and engaging individual.  It was quite the change to witness.  She still withdrew into herself with more personal questions, especially about her past before joining the Scouts, which gave Petra the impression that the Scouts were a sort of fresh start for the woman.  She shared with them why she’d joined the Scouts, which none of them could deny was a valid enough reason after seeing her in action.  She had skill, and if she wanted those skills to be put to use, the Scouts were arguably the best place for them, and the faction of the military with the strongest need for them.  Besides, who didn’t want to feel useful?  Unfortunately, many Scouts died, and some died so quickly it was easy to wonder if their deaths ever had any meaning to begin with, if it had been worth it.  However, Petra had the feeling this one wasn’t going to be one of those recruits that appeared and disappeared without ever leaving much of a mark.  She just might be around for a while, especially if she was going to take the time to learn from the elites she’d been placed with and stayed grounded, level-headed, and smart.

As the questions drifted away from the personal, in part because of Y/N’s continued reluctance to delve too deeply into the personal, they started peppering her with the twenty-questions kinds of inquiries.  What were her likes and dislikes, favorites, hobbies, fears, aspirations, that kind of thing.  Some she was able to answer relatively quickly, even if it wasn’t simple, such as having no clear favorite because she liked so many, and other times she hesitated, such as when she was asked aspirations, because she hadn’t given it much thought, being so focused on this current stage of her life.

“What about biggest fears?”

“Oluo!” Petra protested, giving him a dirty look.  They were all eating, and this question alone could get extremely dark considering the horrors they faced every day outside the wall.

“What?  It’s a legitimate question.  Some people are scared of spiders, others heights--though you don’t get much of that one in the military, I think--it could be all kinds of things.”

"I think the answer to that is a little too morbid for dinner conversation," Y/N said with a slightly weak smile, which made Petra think it might actually be something to do with Titans.  If it was, it was probably best they didn’t hear it, just in case.

"Nah, it's fine, we're sharing--so what is it?  Fire?  Dolls?  Dead fish?" Oluo asked cheekily.

"Um...being buried alive, actually," Y/N answered, looking down and picking at her food.

"Damn, that is a pretty scary thought.  Wasn't expecting that one," Oluo muttered.  Petra wasn’t paying attention to him--she was reading Y/N’s body language, how she’d seemed to withdraw into herself and her hand was trembling as she pushed around the food left on her plate.  It was most likely at the thought of this fear of hers, if Petra had to guess.  The mental imagery alone was terrifying.

At the other end of the table, Levi was staring at Y/N intently, having noticed the same things, and a little more.

“Now that Oluo has officially tried to sabotage the evening, let’s try some gossip:  I hear you had a knack for sneaking out in the Cadet Corps and never got caught.  What were you doing?  I’ve heard some interesting theories,” Gunther said with a perceiving glint in his eyes.  Y/N sighed even as everyone’s attention centered on her.

“God damn those rumors are going to follow me for the rest of my life, aren’t they?” she mused, not denying that she snuck out as she took a slow drink.

“Well, Rookie?  Care to share?” Oluo asked as she sat down her drink.

She turned to look at the rest of the group, and then with an unreadable expression and in a completely deadpan tone, stated, "I strip naked in the pale moonlight and conduct blood rituals to achieve perfection."

There was a heartbeat, and then snorts, chuckles, a ripple of amusement through the group at the joke.

"Rookie's got a sense of humor," Oluo mused.

Y/N’s lips quirked towards a half smile, taking another drink.  "Wish I could say the same for you."

There was a bit more laughter this time, even as Oluo scowled, no one bothering to hide their amusement at the comment.

"And some snark, to boot," Gunther snickered as Oluo sulked.  “But really, though, what were you doing?”

Y/N sighed, setting down her drink again.  “It wasn’t...actually, you know what,” she said with a sparkle in her eye and a mischievous smile.  “I hear there’s a pot for the theories.  Place bets on it, maybe one day I’ll actually tell you.  Maybe I won’t.”

“Oh, come on,” Oluo complained loudly.

“Now that’s just mean,” Petra said with a cluck of her tongue and a shake of her head while Y/N settled back down, visibly proud of her teasing.

Caught up in their banter and companionable discussion, no one noticed how at the head of the table, laid back in his chair, Levi showed no sign of amusement, his gaze fixated on Y/N with a sharp, cold look.

*Reader’s POV*

After you’d taken your first steps towards developing a warmer relationship with your squad mates, things started to go a bit easier for you.  You were still at the bottom of the food chain, and the responsibilities as an aid hadn’t changed, but you didn’t think you were getting as much shit dumped on you.  It probably helped that Captain Levi had apparently given them a lecture about doing their own chores instead of getting lazy and shoving them all off on her.

For the most part, it was Petra that you were getting close to.  The others were becoming cordial, and you had even approached Eld asking him if he could give you lessons on ODM gear technique after hearing he was quite skilled at utilizing the ODM gear.  That seemed to have helped the relationship there--frankly, whenever you showed a bit of humility about still having a lot to learn, they warmed up a bit more.

It seemed there had been concerns that you would be an arrogant big headed pain in their asses with how quickly you’d shot into the elite squad, and showing them that you still considered yourself in a learning position and not above anyone helped assuage those fears.

Captain Levi...was as suspicious of you as ever.  Except now you were around him enough to feel the chill in his gaze even after you left his presence.  That was a relationship you weren’t sure you were in a position to improve.  You’d given him plenty of reasons to be suspicious of you, but you were still trying your damnedest not to give him a reason to mistrust you.  Maybe it would just take time to prove yourself in his eyes, but at this rate, it was looking like a /deep/ hole you were going to have to climb out of, and for some reason, it just kept getting deeper.

Since it was going to be the more difficult task, you resolved to worry about making a better relationship with Captain Levi later and instead focus on improving the relationship with your squad mates.  Firstly, you didn’t want to be a kiss ass, especially cause you knew it would be obvious.  Second, ideally by the time you set about improving your relationship with the Captain, he might have warmed up a bit to you.

At the very least, it would be nice if that chill wasn’t in his gaze anymore.

Right now, Petra was the closest thing to a confidant and friend that you had.  After you had initially approached her about learning the nuances for cleaning, she’d taken the initiative to help you learn the ropes and adjust to the other nuances of being in Levi Squad, which involved a lot of dos and don’ts.  She’d even pulled you aside one evening and sat you down so she could teach you how to properly make Captain Levi’s tea how he liked it, so that if or when he asked for it--and apparently he eventually asked everyone at some point, at least to gauge their tea making skills--you would be ready.  You’d been down in the kitchen for a surprisingly long time for that one, since apparently Levi liked his black tea made a very specific way, and additives weren’t usually his preference, so there would be no masking any off taste.

Shortly after, you’d decided to let Petra know about your secret little garden with your tea making herbs.  You’d gone when you both had some free time to spare, crouching down beside the garden and talking with her about the different herbs for your blends you’d added and why, complete with a prepared excuse about why the white sage was so far away from the rest and why you wore gloves when handling the plans at all times.

The white sage you told her needed to stay separate because it was aggressive and you didn’t want it taking over the smaller herbs, when you really kept it separate because it burned at the touch and you didn’t want to risk even accidentally brushing against it while you were working on this hobby of yours.  As for the gloves, it was the same concept--it let you handle the sage safely without harming yourself, though you told her it was for cleanliness and to keep your natural oils off of the tea herb plants.

As you’d chatted about the herbs in your garden and potential additions (With Petra suggesting adding the plants necessary to make some black tea blends of your own), you’d caught a familiar scent on the breeze, which led you to hone your senses on the individual’s breathing and heartbeat.  They were staying a safe distance away so as not to be noticed, but close enough that if something happened they would be there in an instant.  They were tense and cautious, listening intently to what was being discussed.

It seemed Captain Levi had reached the point he didn’t trust you alone with the other members of Squad Levi in places that were hidden from the public eye.  Your best guess for his presence was that it was out of concern for Petra, wanting to make sure the other woman was truly safe in your presence.

Once again, you understood his cautiousness, and he wasn’t wrong to be cautious...but the level of distrust still cut.

After about a week or so spent developing a stronger bond with your new squad mates, as the time for another feed drew closer, you decided to confide in some of your concerns with Petra regarding Captain Levi--that you felt you might have made a bad impression on him early on and wanted a way to thaw some of the ice between you two that wouldn’t look like bribery or like you were trying to kiss ass.  You’d tossed a couple ideas around, already reassuring her that you were already intending to let time tell and let your own personality and abilities do most of the work, but that the chill was getting a little too uncomfortable on your end for you to keep going without making some kind of first step.

With an upcoming holiday and a debate about the best approach, you’d eventually settled on putting together a small gift of personalized tea blends.  Since you didn’t have anything mature in your garden for black tea, you had to go into town to get missing ingredients, going with Petra to get her opinion on the best leaves, best tea bags, any additions that you didn’t have in your garden back with the Scouts or that hadn’t matured enough to use anything from it yet like your rosebush.  After you had all of your materials, you’d headed back to HQ and stowed yourselves away in the kitchen to get to work.

Petra had the idea to make a couple different variations--there would be plain black tea, of course, but you’d also had some personal blends that you two decided on, mostly based off of Petra’s experience making Levi his tea when asked to, and her past observations of the few times he’d added something to it.  You would have to divide and label the different teas in the container, but it would make it a little more personal.

However, you got her attention when you brought out the white sage, gloved hands grinding the herb up into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle.

“What’s that for?” she asked with a slight frown, watching you intently grinding at the white sage to make sure it was all powder and there weren’t any chunks left.

“I’m going...to add a light dusting of the white sage over the tea bags.  Hopefully not enough to alter the taste, but it will still be in there,” you murmured, covered fingers running through the powder to check how fine you’d made it.

“I know there’s superstitions about white sage cleansing of evil and bad spirits, but I know the Captain isn’t, and you didn’t take me for the superstitious type.  I just figured you had a fancy taste in tea,” Petra mused.  You almost snorted, but stopped yourself short considering you were currently directly over the powdered sage and didn’t want it to go everywhere.

“While I’m sure the superstitious intent of cleansing and warding off evil adds a bit more personal good intent, the short version is that it’s also supposed to do wonders for your health.  At least according to that book that’s still stashed in my desk,” you chuckled.

“I didn’t know that...a fine addition, then.  You really pay attention to that herbology book of yours,” Petra quipped with a friendly smile, which you returned before setting the white sage aside for later, when your tea bags were finished.

Though only you would know it, if he kept the tea and used it frequently--which was fairly likely with how much tea he drank--then he would have white sage in his system frequently.  That alone would protect him substantially from any other vampires lurking in the darkness.  You couldn’t predict the actions of other vampires, especially with how impulsive they could sometimes be, but if you were this deep in the Scouts, you would rather be safe than sorry, especially if someone with ill intentions managed to work their way in.

Sure, white sage helped with general health, but the real reason you were adding it was for your own peace of mind to help protect Captain Levi.  Why not take the opportunity to do so now that it had presented itself.  If you were in the position to, you would give similar gifts of secret protection to more than just him, but you only had so much white sage, and right now, he was the one you had an excuse to do this for.

Now you just had to hope he would accept it.

*Levi’s POV*

As much as Erwin had a point about being able to keep a closer eye on L/N by having her in his squad, Levi was finding the arrangement to be...complicating.  The way she presented herself, interacted with the others, the hard work she was putting in, he kept finding himself softening towards her because of it.  She was a good soldier who truly put in the effort and then some, and she was quickly growing on the rest of the team.  She was observant and thoughtful, and she paid close attention to the needs and preferences of the people around her.  She wasn’t boastful or arrogant, and apparently was trying to learn something from every member of the squad.  Petra had already taken her in like the natural mother hen she was and was around her quite often, but L/N could be seen around the others as well, just not as much.

For fuck’s sake, she’d even befriended his goddamn horse--he’d caught her in the stables sneaking him some oats and getting playfully nuzzled in return.  From her track record, he knew she had to have put in the effort for that to happen, too, considering the horses started off at least spooked by her.

But he knew she was hiding something.  He couldn’t ignore the signs he’d picked up on until now, how she dodged the personal and tried to keep her past hidden and buried, couldn’t forget the smell of the Underground and blood on her cape, her lack of a past, her unexplained, effortless natural skills, the regular sneaking out to do who knew what.  Maybe it wasn’t as insidious as he kept thinking it might be, maybe he should ease up a bit instead of freezing her out and treating her like an already convicted traitor.  But he couldn’t shake this feeling that whatever she was hiding was far from innocent, and he didn’t want to risk the betrayal, or getting his squad any more mixed up in it than they already were.

Though how well they were starting to take to her and how she was already being included into the fold, he was starting to get the sense that he was on a time limit before uncovering her as a traitor or something else terrible would cause unexpected damage.

Of course, he could take the paranoid route and assume that it was all clever, carefully planned movements, actions, and words meant to manipulate everyone around her into trusting her and letting their guards down.  Unfortunately, not only was that extremely paranoid, but she didn’t lack the sincerity behind much of what she did like certain psychopaths he’d met in the past.  She was very clearly hiding things, and she knew she was being watched, but her sincerity didn’t ring hollow because of it.

Fuck, he hated being in this position.  And he really hated that he’d agreed to Erwin’s idea to put him in this situation.  Even he knew he was being especially cold to her as if it would help put some distance between himself and the warm individual who was working her ass off for him and his squad in case the worst happened.  If he was wrong, though, and what she was hiding wasn’t as malicious as he felt it might be, then he was going to have a lot of reparations to deal with going forward, especially since she was already on the fast track to be a part of his squad for a long time moving forward so long as she continued to survive the expeditions.

It would be so much easier if she just came clean.  They wouldn’t have to do all this back and forth, cat and mouse, and they could move on.  Unfortunately, even though she knew she was being watched and Levi was suspicious, she wasn’t saying anything beyond that comment she’d made the night before the expedition.  Just another reason to believe whatever she was hiding was ugly.

There was a knock on his door, and his gaze flickered up to the shut door across from his desk, a faint frown on his face and Erwin’s findings about L/N spread out in front of him as he was in the middle of contemplating next moves.

“What?” he asked, squinting slightly at the door.

“It’s Y/N L/N.  May I come in, Captain?”

Instinctively, Levi covered the documents he’d been looking at with anything that didn’t have to do with her, from supply shortage lists, reports from Hange and Erwin about the Scouts in general, anything but what he was looking at about her, knowing she had a sharp eye and not wanting to risk her seeing just how much he was aware of.

“Fine, come in,” Levi muttered, arm lying against the desk as the door opened after he spoke, and L/N came in hesitantly, something in hand.

A delivery, then.  It was too much to hope she’d come to finally confess her secret to put an end to their unspoken chase.  A pity.

As she approached, Levi noticed that she was rather fidgety, obviously nervous or at least a little embarrassed, and she was clutching the tin box in her hand rather rightly.  What the hell was this about that suddenly she was a nervous cadet instead of the relatively calm and steady individual he’d been chasing secrets over up until now?

And then he remembered what day it was.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me...

As understanding lit up in his eyes, he held up a hand.  “If this is an attempt at a bribe, L/N--”

“It’s not,” she said firmly, and Levi had to give credit to the balls she had to cut him off like that.  She didn’t even seem to regret it, plowing forward before he could start down the path of rejection again.

“It’s a gift, no strings attached or anything like that.  Petra and I put it together, it’s for the holiday...and it’s also partially a thank you, on my part,” she said before taking a deep breath, setting the box down on his desk neatly on a clean space front and center before stepping away.  “I know I haven’t made the best impression, and you didn’t have to put me with your squad in any capacity, but you did, and I intend to make sure it’s not something you end up regretting.”

It seemed they were both well aware of the game they were trapped in, and she was well aware of her position.  He had to give her credit for not bolting, if she knew the position she was in and how much scrutiny she was under.  Either she didn’t feel what she had to hide was that serious, which wasn’t likely with how hard she was trying to hide it, or she was that confident in her abilities to keep the truth hidden.

He still wasn’t sure he could entirely believe that this wasn’t a bribe, though.  It could very easily be taken as one, or at least a thinly veiled attempt to get him to like her--or at least not be as cold with her.  And she’d involved Petra.  It was almost like she’d name dropped the other woman in order to prevent him from immediately rejecting the gift, because it wasn’t just her that had put effort into it.

Levi stared her up and down intently, eyes narrowed slightly out of suspicion as he tried to gauge her intentions and sincerity.  After a few tense moments where she simply endured his piercing stare without so much as a tremble--there was the collected individual he’d seen up until now--he looked away, down at the papers across his desk.

“If that’s all, you can go,” he said bluntly as a way of dismissal.  She was lucky he wasn’t telling her to take it back.  He wasn’t openly accepting it, either, he was still going to decide what to do with it, but he wasn’t sending it back with her, either.

It was the closest she was going to get to accepting a gift right now.

L/N snapped a salute, apparently deciding it was better not to say anything and to just take the semi-win and leave.  Once the door shut behind her, Levi waited a few more moments before he put the random papers he’d grabbed back where they belonged, pulling the tin close so he could get a look at what was inside now that she’d left.

Opening the tin, the fragrance that escaped immediately told him what the gift was--black tea, but a variety of different blends.  And it was good tea, too, if the scent was anything to go by.  Groups of the tea bags were sectioned off, labeled by the variant they were, such as the one blend that included lemon, or the one that seemed to have blackberries in it.  The tea bags were definitely homemade, telling him the blends were specially made by her and Petra, thought going into the ingredients.  There was a white powder dusted over all the tea bags that turned out to be white sage upon closer inspection.

An odd choice...especially since it was on every tea bag and not certain blends.

The wild thought crossed his mind that they might be poisoned, and he scowled, attempting to brush aside the paranoia with the thought that it would be far too bold and obvious of a move, especially with Petra helping put it together.  He doubted she would have been able to get such a thing past Petra, too, considering the woman’s experience making Levi’s tea.

I’m going fucking crazy, he thought to himself as, despite his rationalization, he pulled out one of the tea bags and started methodically pulling it apart piece by piece to make sure there wasn’t anything fatal slipped into the homemade blend.  He made sure to avoid touching it as little as possible so it was still usable when he was done, shifting through the ingredients in the blend and making sure he recognized every one.

Nothing suspicious about it.  Aside from the odd choice of white sage.

If it really was meant to be a bribe, though, did he want to take it?  He didn’t want to waste the tea, so he wasn’t going to just throw it out.  He could re-gift it to Hange or Erwin, but he knew that would be a slight, and L/N hadn’t been the only one to make it--Petra had helped.

Dammit…

He’d just have to let it sit there until he could figure out what he was going to do with it.  He could speculate on conspiracy theories about what it was meant to be, if it really was anything more than a gift, until he figured out how he was going to handle it.

It really could be what she said, though--a gift for the holidays and a thank you, maybe even a peace offering in the hopes things wouldn’t continue to be so tense between them.  The contention would continue, though, until he found out what she was hiding.

Levi settled back into what he’d been doing before she came to his office, looking over the details Erwin had provided him, a small frown on his face as he looked over official documents and police reports that were roughly forty years old about a double homicide in the town that had spawned local legends and horror stories to frighten children.  Why was this included in the report Erwin gave him?  One of the two victims was the girl that L/N shared a first name with, the only thing resembling a tangible connection to the town she claimed as her hometown that Erwin could find.

He was going to have to talk to Erwin and try to get a day or two off so he could go investigate in person.  He needed more information than what was in these reports, and he would only find what he wanted by going there in person.

Once more, there was a knock on the door, this time followed immediately by a familiar voice calling, “Captain?”

Ah, this was a meeting he’d been waiting for.

“You can come in, Petra,” he called, finally putting away Erwin’s reports in a safe place as Petra entered the room and headed for Levi’s desk.  She didn’t bother asking why he asked her to meet him, simply took a seat and waited for him to speak.

“What do you think about our new member?” Levi asked after he got settled in his seat.  Petra’s surprised eyes wandered to the gift still sitting on the desk, a questioning look in her eyes even though she complied to answering his question.

“Do you mean in skills or compatibility?” Petra asked for clarification after a moment’s hesitation.

“Compatibility.”

He was already well aware of her skills--she wouldn’t have even been placed as an aid in the squad if she didn’t have skills to become one of the elite.  Skill was one of the first things he looked at when choosing squad members.

Petra seemed even more confused that he was asking after her personality more than anything, but again, she didn’t question him.

“She’s quiet and reserved, for the most part, but after spending a couple weeks with her, once you manage to get her to open up she has a warm and caring personality.  She’s a little socially timid, though, I’m sure you’ve noticed; like she’s thinking of how she should act before she does or says something.  At least at first, before she gets more comfortable and gets into the flow of conversation.”

Petra paused to consider, a small frown on her face.  “She’s a creature of habit, that’s for sure--she’s always wearing the same necklace, all the time--I’ve never seen her without it, and there’s certain places she’s always at during certain times of the day.  I’m a little worried about her health, though.  I didn’t notice it at first, but she hardly seems to eat.  She doesn’t get much on her plate, and she’s always smuggling things that are safe for horses to eat to the stables to bribe the horses instead of eating it herself.  She doesn’t seem affected, not yet anyway, but I’m still worried about it.”

Taking the mental notes for later in case that information proved important, Levi pressed a little further.  “What about the others?  It seems like she’s fitting in well.”

Petra nodded.  “She’s getting lessons of some kind from almost everyone, and she’s been a lot better about being social.  She’s making a genuine effort to be a part of the squad, and to be perfectly honest, I like having her around.”

“Anything else?”

Petra’s gaze flickered over to the box sitting on the desk again.  “If it’s not too presumptuous, Captain--I don’t know what impression she made when you two first met.  She mentioned it may not have been the best first impression, but...she really is trying to be worth the chance she’s been given to be a part of this squad, and her attempts appear genuine to me.  Perhaps give her another chance to make a better impression.”

Levi didn’t answer her, and he kept his expression unreadable so she wouldn’t see his reaction to her words.  It was more incentive for him to close this messy chapter, and it helped clear up his thoughts on how to act going forward if this secret didn’t turn out to be something crazy like treason or murder.

“Thank you, Petra.  You can go, now,” Levi finally answered in an indifferent voice.  Petra got up and gave a quick salute, then quietly left the room without any further comment.  Once she was gone, Levi got to his feet with a slight sigh.

He needed to see Erwin.

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier@whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea​

Wings in the Dark Tags:  @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse

[reinerispretty]

reminiscence. (? x reader) pt3

hello and thank u so much for all of ur kind words on the last two chapters!! i hope you guys enjoy this one :) 

pt1

pt2

pt4

“Speak for yourself, Bolin,” grumbled Hasook, the only waterbender they could find to join their team. “You being distracted practically cost us the game.”

“It was only a few seconds,” Mako snapped, readily coming to his brother’s defense.

“That’s all it takes to lose.” Hasook walked angrily out of the locker room. When he was gone, (Y/N’s) bright eyes peered around the door frame.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,”

A smile curled onto (Y/N’s) lips. 

“Nice to meet you, Bolin,” She said, and Bolin felt his heart skip a beat. He liked the way her voice said his name. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing walking by yourself at night?” 

“I had just gotten off of work,” (Y/N) said with a sigh. “I got stuck with the late shift, so no one could leave until everything was absolutely spotless. And like, right as we were almost done for the night, someone spills a bottle of oil all over the floor! Waterbenders can’t pick that up!” She frowned. “Sorry, I’m just ranting to you at this point.” 

“Rant away!” Bolin said, his face excited. “Where do you work?” 

“I’m a waitress at Kwong’s Cuisine.” 

“Woah,” Bolin gapsed. “No wonder you were so bummed out about losing your food! That place is amazing. I mean, I imagine it’s amazing. The only thing I’ve had from there were leftovers from the garbage.” When (Y/N) furrowed her brows, Bolin started panicking. “I don’t eat from the garbage all the time! My brother and I used to when we were living on the streets.” 

“Oh,” (Y/N) said, her expression turning sad. She reached forward and placed her hand atop Bolin’s. “I’m so sorry. That must’ve been so awful.” 

“It wasn’t too bad!” Bolin, cheerful as ever, gave her a smile. “I had Mako, which was nice, but sometimes we could find really great things in the garbage. Once, I found a whole pie, just sitting on top of trash cans! Didn’t look dirty or anything! It was delicious. Sometimes I still think about trash pie.” 

(Y/N) laughed and Bolin reveled in the sound. “What about you?” She asked. “Why were you on the streets?” 

“Mako and I got into a little argument about money again. It’s fine though, because we’re gonna make our own pro-bending team and rake in all the cash!” An idea popped into his head and he leaned forward excitedly, their faces just inches apart. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to be a waterbender, would you?” 

“Unfortunately, no,” (Y/N) said and Bolin deflated back into his seat. “I don’t bend anything. My family’s full of benders but me? I am bendless.” 

“Hey, that’s okay!” Bolin assured her. “I know really great people who aren’t benders!” 

“I’m not very sad about it,” She said, playing with the straw that was in her drink. “But I do get just a teensy bit jealous. Like, when I’m watching probending and the teams do all these cool moves!” 

“You wanna talk about cool moves? You should see Mako and I! He’s a firebender, I’m an earthbender. We’re like a dynamic duo. Our first match is in two weeks from today, if you wanted to come!” 

“You have a match but you don’t have a waterbender?” Bolin waved his hand in the air dismissively. 

“We’ll find someone, I’m sure! Say you’ll be there?” He asked, his green eyes bright and hopeful. 

“I’ll try my best!” (Y/N) said, and Bolin could tell she really meant it. “It’s just, you know, work.” 

At that moment, their soup dumplings arrived. This both excited and disappointed Bolin. Excited because he was starving and disappointed because he knew once they were finished eating, he and (Y/N) would go their separate ways. 

After stuffing themselves full of soup dumplings, Bolin and (Y/N) practically waddled out of the restaurant. The streets of Republic City were nearly bare. “How about I walk you home?” Bolin offered. (Y/N) nodded, a blush gracing her cheeks. 

They walked side by side and talked about anything and everything. He found out that her mom owned Kwong’s Cuisine and expected (Y/N) to take it over once she was old enough, but (Y/N) wasn’t sure if she wanted to do that yet. She loved animals and preferred to be cold rather than hot, because when she’s cold she can just bundle up. Despite working for her mom, she lived on her own, since her mom didn’t have that much time to be around anyway. 

Bolin told her about how his parents died and what it was like living on the streets for so many years. He told her of the gangs that they had done work for and she looked at him with complete understanding and a lack of judgement. He told her about his best friend, Pabu, and how much he wished he had brought Pabu with him because he knew he would’ve made her so happy. 

By the time they had reached her doorstep, Bolin was feeling very sad. The odds of him ever seeing this girl again were slim to none and that was the last thing that he wanted. 

“Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?” He asked suddenly. (Y/N) nodded, stepping inside for a moment before returning with his supplies. He tore off a small piece of paper and balanced it on his knee, scratching his address onto the lines. “This is where you can find me.” She took it gingerly from his hands and looked at it. When she looked back up at him, she smiled. 

“Thank you,” She said, her voice soft. “I’ll definitely track you down. I have to repay you for the soup dumplings.” Bolin grinned. 

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” He walked down her front steps and nearly tripped. He turned around again to see her laughing at him. He smiled once more and gave her a small salute before walking off into the night. 

Bolin didn’t see (Y/N) at his next pro-bending match, or at the three matches after it. Each time he would look up into the crowd, past the bright lights and thousands of fans and search for the face that had been in his dreams for weeks now. Every night, he was disappointed. He’d put on his helmet and step onto the platform, ready to take his frustrations out on the opposing team. 

He had told Mako about the girl he had eaten soup dumplings with. Mako hadn’t really taken him seriously; Bolin always got distracted by girls for a few days and then found himself enamored by another one soon enough. But this one seemed to be sticking. Mako sort of hoped she’d turn up just so Bolin would stop talking about her. 

And then one night, she did. Bolin’s eyes scanned the crowd, just as they always did, and surprisingly they came to rest on (Y/N’s) face. She sat higher up, in the cheaper seats, but her presence was undeniable. Her smile seemed to beam down on him as she turned to her friend and pointed at the platform. 

“She’s here!” He turned to Mako, jumping on his feet. “She really came!” 

“Finally,” Mako grumbled, and the match started. Bolin didn’t seem to notice, his eyes trained on (Y/N) for the first few seconds of the game. This gave the opposing team the opening to hit him with earthbending discs, knocking him back into the second zone. 

Bolin groaned and jumped to his feet. Mako turned to him as he firebended, his golden eyes furious. “Either you get your act together or I’ll knock you off the platform myself!” 

Bolin nodded, holding his fists toward his face as he shot discs at the opposing team. He dodged their attempts at knocking him off his feet. If this was (Y/N’s) first match seeing him, then she’d see him at his best. 

The Fire Ferrets didn’t win the match, but they played a good game. The team was freshly made and it would take them a while to get in tune with each other. Bolin remained optimistic that they’d win the next one, and he expressed this to his team as they went back to their locker rooms. 

“Speak for yourself, Bolin,” grumbled Hasook, the only waterbender they could find to join their team. “You being distracted practically cost us the game.” 

“It was only a few seconds,” Mako snapped, readily coming to his brother’s defense. 

“That’s all it takes to lose.” Hasook walked angrily out of the locker room. When he was gone, (Y/N’s) bright eyes peered around the door frame. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” She said, and Bolin couldn’t stop the grin that rose to his face when he heard her voice. “I told someone that I knew Bolin and then they told me to come here?” 

“They’re used to Bolin’s routine of bringing back screaming fangirls,” Mako said, and Bolin gave him a harsh shove. 

“Former routine,” He grumbled, before walking over to (Y/N). He wasn’t sure if he should hug her or hold her hands or kiss her. The last option would probably be too much for the moment. “I’m so happy to see you.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner,” She said, an apologetic smile gracing her features. “I got scheduled for every night a pro-bending match was on. I had to ask someone to cover for me just to come here.” 

“Oh no! I’m sorry you had to take off work.” (Y/N) shrugged. 

“It was definitely worth it. You guys played an amazing game.” (Y/N) stepped further into the room, directing her attention toward Mako. “I’m (Y/N), by the way. Bolin kinda saved my butt a few weeks back.” 

“I’m Mako,” He said. “And I know. He hasn’t stopped talking about it since then.” Bolin’s face flushed a bright pink, but (Y/N) just laughed. 

“Can I treat you both to soup dumplings? I have to pay Bolin back for mine anyway.” 

“Dumplings sound fantastic!” Bolin grinned. “Right Mako?” 

“I won’t say no to free food.” 

---

(Y/N’s) stomach rumbled loudly. 

She sat atop Naga, her arms wrapped around Korra’s middle. The polar bear dog trotted through Republic City as Korra took her to one of her favorite spots: a little meat stand on the side of the street. “This place is amazing,” Korra called back to her. “I find the stands to be way better than actual restaurants.”

(Y/N) wasn’t quite sure if she could relate, but she was willing to try. They pulled Naga up to the stand to order their food. “You again,” The woman running the stand grumbled. “You actually have money this time?” 

“Yes,” Korra said, sticking her tongue out at the woman. “We’ll have two of everything.”

“Two of everything?” (Y/N) echoed in disbelief. “Korra, I-” 

“Relax,” She said as the woman put together their orders. “You and I will share and the rest is for Naga. She needs to eat lunch, too.” Korra rubbed Naga in between her ears. 

Once they had been given their food, Korra took (Y/N) to the park, where they ate on the riverbank. It was less cold than it was yesterday but (Y/N’s) Air Acolyte clothes helped keep her warm. She received many weird looks as people walked past them. 

“Do I have something on my face?” She asked. “Why does everyone keep looking at me?” 

“Oh,” Korra said, her mouth full of kabob. “Air Acolytes don’t usually leave Air Temple Island. And they don’t eat meat.” (Y/N) gulped. 

“I feel like I’m being blasphemous,” And while she wasn’t really joking, she made Korra laugh anyway. “Thanks for getting all of this food, by the way. I’ll find some way to pay you back in the future.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Korra said with a shrug. “Focus on getting your memories back.” 

“I wish it were that easy. Like, if I could just shut my eyes really hard and boom! My memories would return.” She looked at Korra, her eyes dazzling with an idea. “I know Kya said you can’t tell me anything shocking, but what if...what if you told me some of the small stuff? Like when my birthday was?” 

“I don’t really know things like that,” Korra admitted as she reached for a piece of food and tossed it to Naga. “I really just know about the stuff Mako has told me.” 

“Right, Mako,” (Y/N) mumbled. “My biggest fan.” 

“He’s just protective over Bolin, that’s all.” 

“Everyone keeps talking about Bolin when it comes to me. That’s the guy that was there the other night, right? Who is he?” Korra bit her bottom lip. She knew she had said too much. “Korra, please?” 

“Bolin was...your boyfriend.” 

“Was my boyfriend,” (Y/N) repeated. “As in past tense?” 

“Past tense is a pretty big part of it.” (Y/N) nodded. 

“Okay. I won’t ask you any more about it, I promise. Thank you for telling me.” But when she looked back down at her food, Korra could tell that she wasn’t thankful. The only thing her explanation had offered was more confusion, and she felt incredibly guilty. Guilty over going against Kya and Tenzin’s wishes and telling (Y/N) about Bolin, and guilty over not being able to give (Y/N) the truth. She was completely lost in the world: she deserved answers. 

“Maybe...maybe if we don’t tell you anything, but show you instead, we can get your memories back.” 

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” 

“What if we took you to places that had a big impact on your life and just see how you react to being there?” (Y/N) nodded excitedly. 

“I’ll try anything.” 

“Alright. But first we have to get Mako and Bolin on board.” 

---

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[philliamwrites]

The Dawn Will Come [Chpt.5]

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Pairing: Dimitri x Reader, Claude x Reader, Edelgard x Reader, Yuri x Reader, Edelgard x Byleth, lots of minor pairings

Tags: #gn reader, # platonic love byleth & reader, #reader is a tactical unit, #angst, #slow burn, #subplots, #unreliable narrator, #pining, #remporary amnesia, #reluctant herp, #canon divergence, #lost twin au, #many chapters, #original content

Words: 5.4k

Summary: Waking up in a forest without any knowledge of your past and who you are, you join the house leaders of the Officers Academy to search for a way to return your memories. Unfortunately, the church has different plans for you, and Fate places you in the centre of a cruel game with deadly stakes. It certainly doesn’t help to fall in love with a house leader who is doomed to be your demise.

Notes: Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Chapter 05: Born to Trouble

Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.

[Hiob 5:7]

    A breeze picks up loose leaves and carries them over a steep hill. The sun, directly above your heads, emits no blazing head and still, wearing light armour and carrying weapons leaves a layer of perspiration on your forehead. Every minute marching towards where the Eagle House students and their astute professor are waiting builds worry and the desire to turn around and put as much distance as possible between you and them but the rope tying you to the task called obligation makes it impossible to sate it.

    A slight pull makes you pause and scratch the thin skin under your eye, the feeling so strange as if someone is tugging your mind in the complete opposite direction. Now that is a new sensation, and you’re careful to remember that when answering the onslaught of questions Hanneman will surely prepare once he’s back. Feeling no pain, you write it off as exhaustion for now, already looking forward to relax in the sauna later and wind down.

    “Is something the matter, Herald?” Dimitri asks. Save for a few scratches and a smudged cheek, he looks fine and appears to be in great spirits. You want to lick your thumb and wipe off the dirt but smearing spit on the heir of a kingdom might not be a great idea in front of his future subjects.

    “Everything is fine,” you, the Liar, say with as much conviction as your conscience allows, which is surprisingly easy. Maybe you were a performer before your amnesia, acting on a stage for an audience that celebrated you switching roles with an ease like changing clothes. Dimitri as well trusts your words, though he could as well be playing the role just to lessen your worry.

    The last possibility to stall the unavoidable confrontation vanishes. They are waiting for you near the stronghold just beyond the forest from which you emerge after another painful, tense march. The remaining Black Eagle students are positioned in a triangle around Byleth. At its tip stands Edelgard, strong and tall, her axe ready to strike whoever stands between her and victory. Flanking her are ever-brooding Hubert and—

    “Linhardt?” you gasp, freezing on the spot which makes everyone sticking to your heels walk right into you. Sylvain only saves himself from falling because he quickly holds onto Dedue who tolerates it like a friendly bear allowing a little bird to sit on his back.

    “Is he doing something?” he asks, tiptoeing to get a better look. “What’s going on?”

    You point a finger at the Black Eagle student. “No one told me it was allowed to bring students back from the sidelines.”

    “Because it isn’t,” Dimitri says, patiently pulling a twig out of his hair. “Those who have lost cannot re-enter the mock battle.”

    You stare at everyone separately, hoping it carries enough weight for them to understand your problem—rather why is no one questioning the obvious? They consider you with as much confusion though, at least something you have in common.

    “Then why is Linhardt participating again?”

    They share worried glances.

    “Herald, what are you talking about?” asks Dimitri with a crease between his eyebrows.

    It is enough to make your next protest come out more desperate. “An hour ago, Felix and I dealt with Ferdinand and Linhardt. I told you!”

    “But—” Sylvain’s face goes blank with surprise. “Didn’t you say you guys got Ferdinand and Dorothea?”

    “Dorothea?” You didn’t even know she participated. “No, I swear, we— Why would I claim something different?” They lack the answer to that just as you and any minute pondering it longer is stolen by a vicious MiasmaΔ that splits a tree behind you in two.

    “Hey!” Sylvain shakes a fist at Hubert. “Use magic only in moderation!”

    His answer is another MiasmaΔ that nearly knocks Sylvain off his feet. Before you can form words, Edelgard takes a swing at you. The hit would have undoubtedly leave you with a concussion were it not for Dimitri’s quick intervention. He deflects her blow though his lance gives a worrying crack.

    “Dimitri.” Edelgard’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “It’s time. We can finally settle the question of who’s stronger.”

    “Very well.” Dimitri’s stance doesn’t falter even as sweat gathers at his temples. “I accept your challenge. With you as my opponent, I won’t hold anything back.”

    Edelgard’s mouth twitches. Dimitri demands with a sharp jut of his chin for you to get out of the way. You don’t argue. Not with the rest from the Eagle house approaching. Dedue, reading your mind, or rather the frantic look in your eyes, charges towards Byleth, leaving Linhardt and Hubert to Sylvain and you.

    You focus on Linhardt, mouth burning to question, “What spell did you use to switch places with Dorothea?”

    He is so baffled by that, you move without thinking—a swift strike, the sword turned midway so the blunt end smashes into his nose. He stumbles back with a sharp cry, a hand flying up to stop the blood running in rivers down his uniform. There is no time feeling bad for catching him off guard like that. A picture flashes before your eyes. You throw yourself to the ground and feel the lance swipe over your head not a second too soon. You roll back up on your feet, glaring at Hubert. He simply raises a brow in challenge. Sure, you accept, fully aware there is only one way to win against him.

    “Edelgard!” you gasp in horror. Hubert’s head twitches but he doesn’t fall for your scheme.

    “Really, Herald? I know Her Highness can take care of herself. You need a better trick than that.”

    “Really? Then how about this trick?”

    This time, Hubert whirls around and is greeted by Sylvain’s fist to his jaw. Combined with your MiasmaΔ, he doesn’t stand a chance. That victory is only short lived though. Out of nowhere, Byleth appears and knocks Sylvain out, not batting an eyelash. She towers like a vengeful spirit, arriving to seek retribution. Trying to move around her, you don’t leave her out of sight for once, your mouth dry and your heart beating so fast your ribcage hurts. The tension is thick enough your swords could cut right through it. It is so tense, in fact, you only manage a dry, “Hey.”

    Byleth raises her sword. “Hello.”

    “Great day to … you know.” You mirror her movement. “Clobber each other with wooden swords.”

    “Less talking, more fighting.” Byleth charges.

    You turn and run away.

    She immediately pursues like a wolf chasing after a deer. If you weren’t so focused on moving your legs as if your life depended on it and not tripping over something, you could swear someone from the sidelines is cheering for you. Someone sounding like Claude.

    “Herald, try a surprise attack! She’ll never expect you to stop and swing your sword at her!”

    No, no, no, he can come down here himself if he has a death wish. But another chance emerges before you, one waiting in the lush thicket that you disappear into in hope to lose her. That hope is quickly vanquished when twigs and dry leaves break right behind you shortly after you breach the edge of the forest. In your panic, you grab onto a branch and pull it with you until you’re sure the blow will at least make Byleth stagger to catch her breath. When you let go, she already knows what you’re up to. With a vicious blow, she breaks the branch and throws her sword at you when you try to run past her back to the field. The pain is unlike anything you’ve felt during training. It brings you to your knees, the stronghold in sight and yet so far away from the forest’s borders. The impact knocks all breath out of your lungs, making you unable to call out for help.

    Byleth stands before you, her sword back in her hand and risen to deliver righteous punishment—until it isn’t Byleth, it is a man, but you can’t see his face, his features hidden by dark shadows.

    Don’t, you think but your mouth forms “You don’t have it in you” instead and before you know it, you speak those words out loud. The picture disappears in a flash so bright, a paper bursting into flames, pain explodes in your head before everything zooms back into painfully sharp focus.

    Something changes in Byleth’s eyes, her hesitation a surprise immediately costing her gravely for Dimitri appears by your side, facing her and a desperate sound of relief escapes you because that means Edelgard is out of the game. It is only a battle of stamina at this point, the battle blurring as you stumble to your feet and help Dimitri to overpower Byleth even though your back is a medley of pain. Judging from how her reacting slower, you get a picture of who from the Black Eagles was fighting the most up until this point.

    Everything happens too fast. It takes one turn, one swipe of Dimitri’s lance, incredible luck that Byleth starts to get exhausted, and a second later, her knee gives in and she’s on the ground, a wooden edge to her throat. The silence is only disturbed by the second roar of trumpets signalling the end of the mock battle.

    You gasp.

    Dimitri gasps.

    Byleth blows a strand of hair out of her face, her face a blank slate.

    Screams and shouts erupt from where everyone else is waiting for you, drowning Jeralt declaring the Blue Lion’s win.

    “Herald.” Dimitri’s smile dazzles you more than the sun’s light, radiant and handsome. “We did it. We did it thanks to you.”

    “No, it was you—” A wave of fatigue washes over you from overusing your power. Exhaustion smothers you, so suddenly that your vision blurs around the edges. Your limbs are leaden; you feel as though you are sinking into mud. Before you hit the ground, Dimitri catches your arm and steadies you.

    It is the unpredictable comedic sort of timing were the cosmos decides it is the right timing for the rest of the students to catch up.

    Sylvain lets out a loud, suggestive whistle, appearing way too chipper for someone just brought back to consciousness thanks to white magic. “Who knew His Highness would decide to court someone wide out in the open like that? Did you invite our dear Herald to dinner first?”

    Ingrid pushes him hard. “His Highness isn’t like you,” she says at the same time Dimitri asks, “But I do plan to invite our Herald to dinner.” All eyes are on him. It is suddenly really hot even though his gauntlets around your arm are cold. “We all are invited to celebrate our victory with a feast in the dining hall.”

    “Aww, goddess help him,” Sylvain sighs, looking like he’s about to facepalm his hand through his forehead.

    Any response on your part is delayed by Rhea and Seteth reaching your group after congratulating each student who participated on their work.

    “Congratulations on winning the mock battle, Herald,” Rhea says, looking incredibly pleased. From the very beginning she’s probably expected nothing less and you wonder if her smile were as content had you failed. “You showed great leadership and trust in your students, who all did exceptionally well.” She’s smiling at every one of them like a proud mother. It leaves a warm, fuzzy feeling inside your chest, her contentment a beacon that banishes the last shadows of doubt in your heart. You could get addicted to this feeling.

    “Now, please return to the monastery,” Seteth advises the students. “We have a few matters to discuss with the faculty members.”

    As the students disperse, Dimitri quickly ducks his head in your direction. “We will speak more later.” He trails after his friends, falling into step with Dedue.

    “Look at them, being so excited. How adorable.” Manuela smiles, not showing any signs of anger about losing the fight or exhaustion flicking the students back together. “Good job leading them, Herald.”

    “And yet, I must advise you to participate more actively in the battle itself next time.” Seteth crosses his arms in front of his broad chest, not sharing Rhea’s idea on how a good job looks. “Professor Byleth showed great assistance and fighting spirit. You would do well to learn from her.”

    Byleth gives a little shrug when you glance at her. She doesn’t seem to care much for that.

    “Don’t be so stern, Seteth,” Rhea chastises him fondly. “There is still so much room to grow for all of them, our dear Herald, Professor Byleth and the students. For now, let us return and allow them a moment of respite. Their first real mission awaits them at the end of next month.”

    Seteth pulls a face as if he bit into a lemon but doesn’t object.

    “I have one concern myself,” you quickly throw in before tracking back, wondering how no one else mentions it. “When Linhardt and Dorothea—”

    “I would like a word,” Byleth suddenly says, grasping your wrist lightly in such an easy, familiar way you immediately shut up. They leave you two to it as you follow them a couple hundred feet behind, both silent though the voice in your mind doesn’t shut up about the dozen of questions bouncing back and forth. After what feels like hours, Byleth finally says, “You noticed it, didn’t you?”

    You stare at the road, a yawning void in your head where just a second ago a cacophony of questions caused a headache, unable to put two and two together. When it finally clicks, you wipe your head so fast in her direction it pops in your neck. “It was you? How did you do it?”

    Byleth doesn’t answer immediately. Her gaze drifts over the treetops, calmly swaying from left to right. The battle has concluded half an hour ago, but it already feels like a lifetime has passed and the peace and quiet of nature around you is like a completely different world. The land surrounding the monastery is exceptionally beautiful, luscious and overgrown with flora that covers the ground in a colourful patchwork rug. How the rest of Fódlan must look like…

    “When we first met, you asked how I could trust you. It will sound strange but you and I, we are connected.” She’s still looking up ahead, now at the towering spires of the monastery piercing the sky.

    Your mouth is dry. “Connected how?”

    She stops now. When she turns and looks at you, again the thread that ties you two together strums in an ancient tune. You stop breathing for that second.

    “You control the flow of the future, and I control the flow of the past.”

    You still don’t understand. Byleth reads as much from your lack of response. “What I mean to say is, I rewind time. When you defeated Linhardt, I turned back time’s hands to have Dorothea walk his path instead to keep my healer. I just never expected anyone would notice. And no one did. Except you.”

    It’s like those words don’t reach you. They recoil from a waterfall that rushes through your ears, distorting the words. When your brain finally finishes freaking out about it, only one thing appears of importance. “You cheated!”

    Byleth wears an expression that clearly states, That’s rich coming from you.

    “I— That—” How can she remain so calm? This information tilts your world, turning every hour you spent lying awake at night in your chambers wondering if you’re the only one with a power like that into a painful memory. “Does that mean you have a Crest as well? If our powers are alike, surely there must be an answer to why we have it. If we talk to Hanneman about it—”

    “You won’t,” Byleth cuts you off, her tone as sharp as her sword. “You will share no word with anyone about what I just revealed, or I will strike you down.”

    The wind picks up, flickering your robes left and right and rocking trees that bow in humility to a force much greater than them—a feeling you can relate to. Cold sweat runs down the back of your neck. This isn’t a threat. It’s a promise.

    “You spend too much time with Hubert,” you manage with a trembling smile only held together when the tension dissipates from Byleth’s face.

    “Professor Hanneman is still studying my Crest,” she says, a tinge of sorrow in her voice that strikes you harder than any danger or threat, “but I can assure you my abilities are not tied to it. I’m sorry.”

    She must have felt what you so desperately wished for: a connection. The assurance that you are not alone in this world with this strange power.

    It makes the way back to the monastery like a march through mud, laden limbs walking towards a goal you don’t know will be worth all the exertion. When the silence becomes too unbearable, you build up the courage to ask, “What are we, Byleth?”

    She drops her gaze to the ground. It is the very first time you see uncertainty hover like a shadow over her face. “I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know.”

    The sky turns an orange canvas when you finally return to the monastery. The last villagers from the small town downhill start returning home, their tools laid to rest inside their carriages. You can’t wait to sink into a nice hot bath, washing away the dried sweat and grime from the battle and change into loose, comfortable evening robes. You don’t come further than past the entrance hall. Leaning against a high pillar, Dimitri is adjusting the loops on his gauntlets, blond strands falling into his face like golden strips of sunshine. Before you reach him, Byleth says with a light touch to your elbow, “Please see Professor Manuela about your wound, okay? You did great today.” You promise her you will and watch her until she disappears through a hall leading to her personal quarters.

    With your attention on him, Dimitri looks up and stands straighter. He grins at you, his smile sudden and jarring like a thunderclap.

    “I have been waiting for you, Herald,” he says and takes you by the wrist. The cold of his gauntlets bites at your skin, making you hiss. His hand immediately drops, and he turns around in panic. “Oh, apologies. It is difficult to control my strength sometimes and—”

    “No, no, that’s not it. I was just a little surprised.”

    He sighs in relief. “Still, I am sorry. I will try to refrain from doing that in the future.”

    “Dimitri.” You graze his clothed underarm with a finger, unsure if that was a wise decision when his eyes widen in surprise. How is it you only notice now how long his eyelashes are? “I think we have seen today I am not that fragile.”

    His eyes jump away, avoiding contact, the blush creeping up his neck clearly standing out against his pale skin. He clears his throat. “I just wanted to make sure you will join us for dinner. I was not joking earlier when I said we should all celebrate our victory.”

    “Are you guys sure? I’m not your teacher and in the end, I didn’t do all too much.”

    Dimitri shakes his head. “Nonsense. You fought with us and led us to victory. We would love to celebrate with you, and while you won’t be with us all the time, I’d love nothing more than to share our happiness with you. Joy can be so fleeting, after all, and I’m sure the rest of the class feels the very same.”

    “If it really is okay with you all…” You glimpse over at him. Why not. Why not enjoy some leisure time with the students. You could surely use it to get to know them better and distract your thoughts from Byleth’s revelation. “Just give me some time to get ready. I’ll see you in the dining hall.”

    “Actually, please come to our classroom,” Dimitri says. “I don’t know how Sylvain managed it, but the kitchen’s head lady allowed us to dine in the classroom.”

    Your brows fly to your hairline. Dimitri answers with a little, low chuckle. You both have a pretty good idea how he managed to pull that stunt.

    Back in your quarters, you wash away the dirt and pick a simple robe the colour of freshly pressed parchment. The water’s heat renders today’s injuries to a dull pain save for the scrapes on your knees that still burn but are clean now. Hunger quickly catches up as well, dispersing your last doubts of intruding the class’ celebration. After leaving your room, you stop by the infirmary where Manuela makes quick work of your remaining wounds with her magic, turning purple bruises into faded yellow spots you immediately forget once you step out and head to your destination.

    The tables are already laid, arranged into a formation that resembles a circle allowing conversations to flow easily. You expected them to be already stuffing their faces but when you step into the Blue Lion’s classroom, the only source of light is a dim candle flickering in the middle of some students huddled together. Only Mercedes’ soft voice is audible, not counting the little whimpers from Annette or Ashe shuffling as he tries to hide behind Dimitri who appears to be the only one invested in her story.

    “… no one knows how deep the tunnels underneath the monastery run. But once they reach where walls are built from skulls and bones, they turn and go back … or try to do so, for who knows what horror lurks behind every corner.”

    “Nooooooo,” Annette cries, clutching to Dimitri’s sleeve. “Why would anyone go somewhere like that?”

    “A-and who built it in the first place? Tunnels lined with bones…” Ashe shudders, still looking smaller than Dimitri even though he is the one sitting.

    “A fascinating idea.” Dimitri’s excitement, bright as a spark, doesn’t bounce over to his friends. “To imagine there could be a whole civilisation living right in plain sight like that.”

    “I can’t imagine we wouldn’t notice,” Ashe reasons. His conviction would be more credible, would he not still cling to a white tail of Dimitri’s shirt. Before you can join and see if you would fare better listening to stories about haunted and forgotten places, Sylvain steals past you, his voice making you jump. “Shouldn’t you guys be finished by now?”

    Seeing your sour expression, he simply winks and hurries inside, carrying a big steaming pot. Followed by the rest of the Lions, they carry plates with dried meat, slices of bread, vegetables and cheese, and place them on the tables for everyone to just pick whatever they want. With a flick of your wrist flames flicker to life inside both fireplaces and the candles on top of the chandelier above your heads. Everyone hurries to find a seat. The students have all changed out of their battle garments into the academy’s summer uniform, its fabric much lighter than the heavy embroidered regular uniform they wore upon your first meeting.

    “My dear friends.” Dimitri raises a cup, holding the thin stem between slender fingers. It would look more elegant were its contents not simply orange juice. “To our victory today and many more to follow.”

    They raise their cups to toast except for Felix who knocks his drink back as if it were strong liquor he desperately needed to sit through this evening gathering. He doesn’t look as pale as before. A quick check up by Manuela after the battle affirmed that he was alright and simply fatigued from countless sleepless nights spent at the Training Grounds.

    The other participants don’t look too bad either. Bruises that vividly blossomed hours ago have faded, swollen purple eyes already start to heal—all certainly thanks to Manuela’s quick work. Sylvain surely won’t be as successful chasing girls with a shiner that makes the prettiest violet jealous of his colour and Dimitri tries to hide it but you don’t miss him tensing from time to time or moving his hand towards his side; probably a bruised rib he doesn’t want anyone to know. He catches your stare and offers a slight, boyish grin under half-closed eyes that only whispers of a shared secret only meant for you two. It does a funny thing to your stomach, a flip or drop, a light twist like missing a step and the fear of falling only to meet solid ground a split second later. You quickly look away and focus on spreading curd on a loaf of bread, not trying to think too much about how the muscles strained under his clothes wielding his lance or the fierce determination colouring his eyes a shade brighter when victory is in palpable proximity.

    You feel a piercing gaze, hot like a solid touch on your skin. Quickly whipping your head around, you catch Felix’s glare from across the room, completely ignoring whatever Sylvain is telling him. It leaves you completely tense for the rest of the dinner, wondering what his problem is and why he is so hostile towards Dimitri specifically. You’ve heard from some students who have walked into an argument those two had, something about a massacre two years ago but details, as is their nature, grow hazy over time and distort until they evolve into something completely different and unrecognisable.

    Felix holds your gaze for a long second, and it is only later after you all clean the classroom from your festivities and decide to retire to bed that you catch him by himself. The monastery at night is a desolate, lonely place save for a couple stray souls wandering about, either on their way to their chamber or out for a quick, last evening prayer inside the chapel. Felix’s destination is none of those as he strides towards the Training Grounds and you call out to him. He slows but doesn’t stop his step until you catch up. “You’re on your way to training, right? Shouldn’t you call it a day? Especially after what happened—”

    “I’ve got no time sitting around and making smalltalk,” Felix snaps, and a month ago you would have thought he aimed his anger towards you but recently you’ve discovered he’s towards the whole world—always glaring, always hissing like a cornered, wounded animal. “There are more important matters like growing stronger—”

    “And suffering from overexertion, I suppose.”

    Felix pulls a grimace. “It was a mistake I don’t intend to repeat. You saw Professor Byleth’s strength. It took two of you to win, and even then, it was mostly luck. I just want to try out some moves Professor Byleth exerted today so I can surpass her strength next time I challenger her.”

    “Why is it that you seek to fight so much?” you ask, deciding forwardness to be a better approach than idle chatter with a person like Felix. He doesn’t give immediate response, not because he ignores you, as is your first assumption, but because he gives it some thought.

    “Why, hm… I learnt to thrust a sword before I learnt to write my name. This is how it is for all children in my country, the perfect environment where I could live free of stodgy values and virtues. Grow strong so you may live, and live to grow stronger. That’s what I was taught.”

    It is no secret Faerghus is the land of knights and chivalry, and still it is hard to imagine a small version of Felix wielding a sword even before he learnt how to use a quill, scraped knees instead of black inked fingertips. What a strange world.

    “As long as you don’t forget to take a break should it get too much. Everyone was worried today.”

    “Everyone should mind their own business. I’m not their problem, and they aren’t mine.”

    You’re too tired to argue relationships don’t work like that, any minute longer on your feet and they’ll simply give out. Wishing Felix a goodnight, you turn towards the chapel but don’t get very far.

    “Herald.” Felix is halfway through the door. “Let me give you one advice.”

    “That is?”

    “Don’t get too close to that damn boar.”

    You’re about to ask what he’s talking about, but he continues, “Beneath all that princely polish, he’s an animal, nothing more. He’s strong and skilled, sure. But don’t place your trust in him as a human being. Take care he doesn’t chew you up and spit you out.”

    Not waiting for a response, Felix moves on, leaving you with more questions than answers. Every creature with two eyes can see hostility between Dimitri and Felix crackling like lightning about to strike the ground and burn down forests and villages. But to go this far and say these words about his future king … Words that couldn’t be more contrary to the impression he’s left on you.

    Whatever Felix wanted to accomplish, his words succeed to remain in your head the whole night, driving off any sleep you direly needed after that day. But even without that, your mind is occupied with questions. It is like stumbling into a spider web, sticky tangles everywhere with no way out.

    Who is that man you remembered? It was such a brief, yet striking memory, of what moment you cannot recall. His hostility was evident in his stance, sharp sword high up to drive down with enough force to cut your head from your shoulders. And yet here you are.

    And your words, You don’t have it in you. If you were familiar enough with that person to know this, who was he to you, and what had stopped him? Did he have a change of heart and instead used the blunt end, giving you a concussion and amnesia instead? Where is he now? And would he return to finish his work?

    Since that day, you look out for anyone fitting that built: tall and lean, visible even through robes with a design completely different from anything you’ve seen around the monastery. Asking Rhea or Seteth could be an option, but strangely enough, you don’t want to reveal it to anyone yet, not until you’ve found an answer yourself first.

    That is how your first moon at the monastery passes. Now there are more questions than before, more secrets to carry with no clear goal in sight. Lessons continue, you attend seminars and life unfolds in Garreg Mach, surprising you how easy it is growing accustomed and familiar with the place and its people—some more so than others.

    Byleth still invites you to her obligatory weekend-tea time sessions, rarely accepting no for an answer even though tea isn’t really what you consume to wind down. She’s acting like your talk after the mock battle has never happened and you do your best to mimic her even though you’d love nothing more than to see her power in battle. That opportunity shows at the end of the following month when Byleth and her class are tasked to deal with bandits the knights cornered in Zanado, the Red Canyon, but Rhea has different plans and instead sends you with the Golden Deer House to the village at the foot of the mountain to help clear debris a flooding left on one of the main roads leading to Alliance territory. It takes two days until the stench from the muddy riverbank is completely washed out of your hair.

    There is still no sight of the man from your memory, even though word about the Herald’s return has reached every corner of Fódlan by now. It makes you wonder if it’s less a matter of if and rather when he sets food inside the monastery. No additional memory has resurfaced, no sudden epiphany provides explanation and you doubt that will change even though Seteth drags you inside the chapel to pray for the goddess’ help whenever his time allows. Mostly, you use those occasions to ask her to make Raphael and Ingrid leave some Nirvana Cake for you.

    Then there is your other little secret of course. After another month of waking to an indistinguishable voice calling out to you every once in a while, you’ve grown used to it, finding a strange comfort in someone or something looking over you. Maybe it is the goddess. Maybe she is trying to reach out to tell you something important, to give divine insight and reach out to her followers. You just hope once she comes through to you, her words won’t proclaim hardships and sorrow.

[piet-ra]

Taylor Swift x Catradora Masterlist

So, this is a masterlist no one asked for but I'm doing anyway. It's basically every Taylor Swift song that think fits the dynamic perfectly or that I'm completely projecting a Catradora storyline into (it's canon universe, no AU). I’m basically SPOPfying TS’s discography. It can be just one line or the whole song. I will highlight the lyrics and it is sorted by album. I hope you enjoy it and if it helps my fanfic writers out there, all the best. (just an fyi, I’m listening to all of this through a very romantic filter, before anyone comes at me saying that “actually catra wanted more than Adora and their issues were deeper than just unrequited love and bla bla. I know. just let us enjoy this gay animated couple)

I might develop my reasoning more in some than in others, so if you want to know more about why I chose such song and all that, just send me asks, I love them! 

Let’s get on with the list now!

From “Taylor Swift”(Yee haw taylor at her finest)

Picture to burn

okay, so bear with me. Catra’s pov after Adora left her.

“there’s no time for tears/I’m just sitting here plotting my revenge”

“And if you’re missing me you’d better keep it to yourself/ cause coming back around here would be bad for your health”

“so watch me strike a match on all my wasted time/ as far as i’m concerned you’re just another picture to burn” -> I can just imagine catra scratching their doodles when i listen to this through a catradora lens.

Teardrops on my guitar

Teenage Catra’s pov pining over Adora.

“Drew looks at me/I fake a smile so he won’t see/That I want and I’m needing/ everything that we should be”

 “I laugh 'cause it is just so funny/ That I can't even see anyone when he's with me”

“[he’s] the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart”

A Place in this World

Adora trying to deal with the new responsibilities and pressure She-ra brought her.

“I don’t know what I want/ so don’t ask me/ ‘cause I’m still trying to figure it out/ don’t know what’s down this road/ I'm just walking/Trying to see through the rain coming down”

“I’m alone, on my own/ and that’s all I know/ I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong/ oh but life goes on/ oh I’m just a girl/ trying to find a place in this world”

The outside

Catra’s pov(on her way to redemption)

“So, how can I ever try to be better?/ Nobody ever lets me in/ And I can still see you, this ain’t the best view/ On the outside looking in”

“You saw me there, but never knew/ That I would give it all up to be/ A part of this, a part of you/ And now it's all too late, so you see/ You could have helped if you had wanted to/ But no one notices until it's too late to do anything/ How could I ever try to be better?”

Tied Together With a Smile

Catra to Adora and her self sacrificial complex.

“hold on, baby, you’re losing it/ the water’s high/ you’re jumping into it/ And letting go and no one knows/ That you cry but you don’t tell anyone/ That you might not be the golden one/ and you’re tied together with a smile/ but you’re coming undone

Should’ve said no

Catra to Adora(season 1)

“you should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home/ you should’ve thought twice ‘fore you let it all go/You should've known that word like what you did with her/ Would get back to me/ and I should’ve been there, in the back of your mind/ I shouldn’t be asking myself why/You shouldn't be beggin' for forgiveness at my feet/ you should’ve said no, baby, and you might still have me”

“I can’t resist, before you go, tell me this/ was it worth it?”

I’m only me when I’m with you

just general catradora because this is effing cute

“I'm only up when you're not down/Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground/ It's like no matter what I do/ Well you drive me crazy half the time/ The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true/ And I'm only me when I'm with you”

A Perfectly good heart

Catra’s pov(season 1)

“Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now/ Why would you wanna make the very first scar/ Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart”

“Maybe I should've seen the signs/ Should've read the writing on the wall/ And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall/ No matter what you say, I still can't believe/ That you would walk away/ It don't make sense to me”

From “Fearless”(platinum edition)

Forever and always

ohhh the promises.... catra’s pov.

“And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all/ And you flashback to when we said forever and always/ And it rains in your bedroom/ Everything is wrong/ It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone/ 'Cause I was there when you said forever and always/ You didn't mean it baby”

Come in with the rain

this one i think it fits both Adora and Catra singing the same thing to each other(while they were still stranged) and if you want the whole reasoning behind, ask haha cause otherwise this is going to be even bigger. 

“I've watched you so long, screamed your name/ I don't know what else I can say/ But I'll leave my window open/ 'Cause I'm too tired at night for all these games/ Just know I'm right here hoping/ That you'll come in with the rain/ I could go back to every laugh/ But I don't wanna go there anymore”

The other side of the door

this is pure catra. just pure catra. seasons 1- 4 Catra and what she did vs her real feelings. (very fitting for ”promises” too)

“In the heat of the fight I walked away/ Ignoring words that you were saying/ Trying to make me stay/ I said, "This time I've had enough"/ And you've called a hundred times/ But I'm not picking up/ 'Cause I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over/ But if you look a little closer/ I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you/ To stand outside my window throwing pebbles/ Screaming, "I'm in love with you"”

“Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone/ Going through the photographs, staring at the phone”

“So babe if you know everything/ Tell me why you couldn't see/ When I left, I wanted you to chase after me”

“And I'll scream out the window/ I can't even look at you/ I don't need you but I do, I do, I do/ I say, "There's nothing you can say/ To make this right again, I mean it, I mean it”/ What I mean is/ I said, "Leave," but baby, all I want is you”

White Horse

okay, that’s just a joke. but I wanted to share the mental image my brain created. I just can’t stop imagining Catra on princess prom, looking longingly at Adora dancing with some nameless girl and singing “I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale/ I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet/ lead her up the stairwell” and then catching a glimpse of swifty “Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around”

i’m so sorry for this, but I’m actually not.

oh and the more serious interpretation is Catra refusing Adora and her fucking hero complex, saying it’s too late for her to try to go and fix things.

You belong with me

Just to mention this song fits every childhood friends to lovers ever. so that’s it.

Tell me why

Adora’s pov(season 3-4). I feel this is Adora getting more and more frustrated with Catra and especially after she “gave up” on catra after the portal.  and this connection made me sad.(and I’m not by any means calling Catra abusive with this, because I know how the song depicts a somewhat abusive relatioship and I’m not by saying Catradora is that(it isn’t, at all), but their relationship throughout the seasons is fucking messy.)

“I took a chance, I took a shot/ And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not/ You took a swing, I took it hard/ And down here from the ground I see who you are/ I'm sick and tired of your attitude/ I'm feeling like I don't know you”

“And I need you like a heartbeat/ But you know you got a mean streak.”

“And I know you see what you’re doing to me/ Tell me why”

and the one that hurts:

“I take a step back, let you go/ I told you I’m not bulletproof/ Now you know”

You’re Not Sorry

Adora’s pov, post portal

“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around/ I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down/ And it's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out/ And you're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around”

“You don't have to call anymore/ I won't pick up the phone/ This is the last straw/ Don't wanna hurt anymore/ And you can tell me that you're sorry/ But I don't believe you baby like I did before/ You're not sorry”

Change

so everything here might be a lot of a stretch, but I can’t really control what my head comes up with. The song progresses and so does Catradora’s story in this. like, I feel the song starts when they are kids in the Horde and then teenagers promising each other they will rise in the ranks and rule the place and then after defeating Horde Prime and getting their new beginning.(And maybe both of them singing, but I feel Adora would fit better, dunno)

“And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you/Somebody else gets what you wanted again and/ You know it's all the same, another time and place/ Repeating history and you're getting sick of it/ But I believe in whatever you do/ And I'll do anything to see it through/ Because these things will change/ Can you feel it now?” -> Adora singing to catra imo, but you see it however you want to honestly.

“These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down/ This revolution, the time will come/ For us to finally win/ And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah” -> Here it’s the promise they made when they were younger, that they would be running the place together and even the “nothing rly bad can happen as long as we have each other” one.

“So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered/ It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair/ We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/ They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared” -> maybe their teenage years strengthening their resolution. 

“Tonight we stand, get off our knees/ Fight for what we've worked for all these years/ And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives/ But we'll stand up champions tonight/ It was the night things changed/ Can you see it now?” -> this could be so so so many things, but I chose to see as a time skip and it is the night they defeated horde prime just to make it interesting. (this whole thing was such a stretch, but I’m having fun with it, so fuck it i guess)

From “Speak Now”

 Sparks Fly

Adora’s pov

“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm/ And I'm a house of cards/ You're the kind of reckless/ That should send me running/ But I kinda know that I won't get far”

“Take away the pain/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile/ Get me with those green eyes, baby/ As the lights go down/ Gimme something that'll haunt me whenever you're not around/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, when you smile”

“My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea”

Back to December

Catra’s pov(call from Horde Prime’s ship and interactions on Darla)

“Your guard is up and I know why/ Because the last time you saw me/ Is still burned in the back of your mind”

“So this is me swallowing my pride/ Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night”

“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you”

“These days, I haven't been sleeping/ Staying up, playing back myself leaving”

“I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't/ So if the chain is on your door, I understand”

Mean

That’s just Catra singing to Shadow Weaver, I’m sorry. the whole song fits here, so just my top picks.

“You, with your words like knives/ And swords and weapons that you use against me/ You have knocked me off my feet again/ Got me feeling like I'm nothing/ You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard/ Calling me out when I'm wounded/ You, picking on the weaker man”

“You, with your switching sides/ And your wildfire lies and your humiliation/ You have pointed out my flaws again/ As if I don't already see them”

“All you are is mean/ And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life/ And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean”

The story of us

both Adora and Catras(basically the whole song lol)

“I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us/ How we met, and the sparks flew instantly”

“I used to know my place was a spot next to you/ Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat/ 'Cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on”

“Oh, a simple complication/ Miscommunications lead to fallout/ So many things that I wish you knew/ So many walls up, I can't break through”

“Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room/ And we're not speaking/ And I'm dying to know/ Is it killing you like it's killing me?/ Yeah, I don't know what to say/ Since the twist of fate when it all broke down/ And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”

“How I was losing my mind when I saw you here/ But you held your pride like you should've held me”

“Why are we pretending this is nothing?/ I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how/ I've never heard silence quite this loud”

“This is looking like a contest/ Of who can act like they care less/ But I liked it better when you were on my side”

“But I would lay my armor down/ If you say you'd rather love than fight”

(let’s ignore that the song actually ends in tragedy lol)

Haunted

Why did you leave, Adora, for fuck’s sake. Catra’s pov.

“Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Something's gone terribly wrong/ You're all I wanted/ Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Can't breathe whenever you're gone/ Can't turn back now, I'm haunted”

“Stood there and watched you walk away/ From everything we had”

oh and a sad bonus. Catra’s pov from when she was Chipped:

“He will try to take away my pain/ And he just might make me smile/ But the whole time, I'm wishing it was you instead/ Oh, holding my breath/ Won't see you again/ Something keeps me holding onto nothing”

Last Kiss

I’m realizing with this list that Taylor is a Catra Kinnie(and she condones murder now, so great!). Catra’s pov.

“I still remember the look on your face/ Lit through the darkness at 1:58/ The words that you whispered/ For just us to know/ You told me you loved me/ So why did you go away?/ Away”

“All that I know is I don't know/ How to be something you miss/ I never thought we'd have a last kiss/ Never imagined we'd end like this”

Long Live

The very fortunate aftermath of the Heart of Etheria and the defeat of Horde Prime. anyone can be the narrator in this, but for me is Catra and Adora, together(but some Catra solos)(I’m such an Adora kinnie, but fuck if this isn’t dominated by my fav catgirl)

“I said: Remember this moment/ In the back of my mind/ The time we stood with our shaking hands/.../ The night you danced like you knew our lives/ Would never be the same/ You held your head like a hero/ On a history book page/ It was the end of a decade/ But the start of an age”

“Long live the walls we crashed through/ All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you/ I was screaming, long live all the magic we made/ And bring on all the pretenders/ One day, we will be remembered”

“And the cynics were outraged/ Screaming, "This is absurd"/ 'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves/ In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” (fourth wall breaking, catra is actually singing this to her haters)

“I'm not afraid/ Long live all the mountains we moved/ I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you/ I was screaming, long live that look on your face”

“Will you take a moment?/ Promise me this/ That you'll stand by me forever”

Ours

just a cute song, go listen to it and insert literally anyone in it.

From “Red”

Treacherous

i feel like it fits the vibe of the dynamic, but I don’t feel like expanding on it lol

All Too Well(because ofc)

I honestly don’t know who narrates this one. either Catra or Adora fit well, but I’m more inclined to say Adora but idk why. it’s just the vibe I’m getting.

“And I know it's long gone and/ There was nothing else I could do/ And I forget about you long enough/ To forget why I needed to” -> in this one i was like, Adora for sure

“Maybe we got lost in translation/ Maybe I asked for too much/ But maybe this thing was a masterpiece/ 'Til you tore it all up/ Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well” -> But then this one came and I was like, well, depending on the pov, it fits both.

“And you call me up again just to break me like a promise/ So casually cruel in the name of being honest”(best lyrics c’mon) -> and the whole break me like a promise thingy made me think Catra’s pov, but then I guess you could also put it in Adora’s pov if you wanted to, so up to y’all.

I Almost Do

C’mon, Catra once again.

“And I just want to tell you/ It takes everything in me not to call you/ And I wish I could run to you/ And I hope you know that/ Every time I don’t/ I almost do, I almost do”

“I bet you think I either moved on or hate you/ ‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply/ I bet it never, ever occurred to you/ That I can’t say hello to you/ And risk another goodbye”(kill me now, there’s still a lot of heartbreak for me to go through)

The Last Time

Catra’s pov, before she leaves Adora and has the little breakdown with Melog.

“This is the last time I'm asking you this/ Put my name at the top of your list/ This is the last time I'm asking you why/ You break my heart in the blink of an eye”

“Just like all those times before/ You wear your best apology/ But I was there to watch you leave/ And all the times I let you in/ Just for you to go again”

Everything has changed

baby Catra and baby Adora meeting and immediately clicking.(Tay is Adora and Ed is Catra for me, but as always, you do you.)

“I just wanna know you better/ Know you better, know you better now”

“'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello"/ And your eyes look like coming home/ All I know is a simple name/ Everything has changed/ All I know is you held the door/ You'll be mine and I'll be yours/ All I know since yesterday/ Is everything has changed”

“ And all my walls stood tall, painted blue/ And I'll take 'em down, take 'em down/ And open up the door for you”

Come back… be here

it talks about leaving and all, and the obvious choice is Catra, but Imma put it down as an Adora pov.  for as much as I talk about Adora leaving Catra, Catra also left Adora. justified or not, their reasons, their motives or wtv is not what i’m here to talk about. I’m just stating that Adora asked catra to stay many times and catra didn’t. So the feelings of abandonment also fit Adora very well depending on the way it is weaved. Some are rly just plain Catra, tho. back to the song.

“And this is when the feeling sinks in/ I don't wanna miss you like this/ Come back, be here, come back, be here”

“And now that I can put this down/ If I had known what I know now/ I never would've played so nonchalant”

“This is falling in love in the cruelest way/ This is falling for you when you are worlds away”

“But you're in London, and I break down/ 'Cause it's not fair that you're not around”

From “1989”

Style

general catradora

“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time/ 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style”

Out of the woods

general catradora

“We were built to fall apart/ Then fall back together”

All you had to do was stay 

Catra’s pov. the line “picking up the pieces of the mess you made” just hits me where it stings, because I remember Catra trying to cover for Adora and then Adora not coming back and then having to deal with the wrath of Shadow weaver alone.

“Now, you say you want it back/ Now that it's just too late/ Well, could've been easy/ All you had to do was (Stay!)”

“Here you are now, calling me up/ But I don't know what to say/ I've been picking up the pieces/ Of the mess you made”

“Let me remind you/ This was what you wanted/ You ended it/ You were all I wanted “

I wish you would

Catra’s pov.

“Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start/ You say it's in the past, you drive straight ahead/ You're thinking that I hate you now/ 'Cause you still don't know what I never said/ I wish you would come back/ Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I/ Wish you knew that/ I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I/ Wish you were right here, right now,/.../ I wish you would”

“We're a crooked love in a straight line down/ Makes you want to run and hide/ But it makes you turn right back around”

“You always knew how to push my buttons/ You give me everything and nothing”

Bad Blood(original version, not the remix)

Originally I thought, “oh this is Adora” but then I decided it was both of them together.

“’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood/ You know it used to be mad love/ So take a look what you've done/ ’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!/ Now we've got problems/ And I don't think we can solve 'em/ You made a really deep cut/ And baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!”

“Did you have to do this?/ I was thinking that you could be trusted/ Did you have to ruin what was shiny?/ Now it's all rusted/ Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?/ Baby, I couldn't breathe/ And rub it in so deep/ Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me”

“Did you think we'd be fine?/ Still got scars in my back from your knives”(i really thought Adora here just cause of the literal scars in her back)

Wildest Dreams

if you want to headcanon a pre she-ra Catradora relationship, this song is really good. Since I’m trying( and def failing in many instances) to be as canon compliant as I can, I’ll skip it.

This Love

Catradora in the heart of etheria. could be both povs: either Catra holding Adora’s dying body and like “this love came back to me” or Adora prepared to die, dreaming about Catra, letting her love go, but in the end came back to her. for me, this is Adora’s, the whole song feels like her to me

“Currents swept you out again/ And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone” -> she’s fading, she’s being fully consumed now and the currents swept catra out from her. 

“In silent screams and wildest dreams/ I never dreamed of this” -> she never allowed herself to dream that Catra would love her or that she wanted a future with Catra, but now she’s being faced with the loss of exactly that.

“This love is good, this love is bad/ This love is alive back from the dead/ These hands had to let it go free, and/ This love came back to me” -> their love is a very complicated thing, is not easy. they have a history of being enemies that tarnish it a bit and when it was too bad, they had to let it go. but the love came back to them in full force. alive back from the dead, literally and figuratively.

“Lantern, burning/ Flickered in my mind, only you/ But you were still gone, gone, gone”

“Been losing grip, on sinking ships/ You showed up just in time” -> adora dying, being saved in the most dramatic way possible.

“This love left a permanent mark/ This love is glowing in the dark” -> just the imagery, wow. and the antithesis of the mark of  scars left by love and now the mark of it is the glowing.

“Your kiss, my cheek/ I watched you leave/ Your smile, my ghost/ I fell to my knees/ When you're young, you just run/ But you come back to what you need” -> finally reunited yay

I know places

Catradora in the Horde being super cute and hiding everywhere, just because.

“Something happens when everybody finds out/ See the vultures circling, dark clouds/ Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out/ It could burn out”

“'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run”

“Baby, I know places we won't be found/ And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down/ 'Cause I, I know places we can hide/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run”

“Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love”

From “Reputation” (Not expecting much from this one)

 Delicate

Catradora being all cute and insecure after the end of the war and learning how to navigate their relationship, the old and the new. Catra’s pov, probably.

“This ain't for the best/ My reputation's never been worse, so/ You must like me for me/ We can't make/ Any promises now, can we, babe?/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it chill that you're in my head?/ 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate)/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it too soon to do this yet?”

Gorgeous

so, i think this song is extremely cute and would fit very well in many various au’s, even some of mine, so I’m just leaving it out here, check it out if you haven’t, but won’t expand on it. 

Dress(I was pleasantly surprised bout this one)

Catra’s pov.

“All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation/ My hands are shaking from holding back from you/ All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting/ My hands are shaking from all this”

“Say my name and everything just stops/ I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Take it/ Carve your name into my bedpost/ ’Cause I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me/ Flashback to my mistakes/ My rebounds, my earthquakes/ Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me/ And I woke up just in time/ Now I wake up by your side”

 New Year’s Day

Another super sweet song that doesn’t exactly fit in the canon compliant list, but that I definitely use in my future Catradora headcanon, so I’ll just put in a few lyrics. 

“There's glitter on the floor after the party/.../You and me from the night before, but/ Don’t read the last page/ But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you’re turning away/ I want your midnights/ But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day”

“But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes”

“You and me forevermore”

From “Lover”(this album is so sweet fuuuuck)

 Lover

the whole song. just, future catradora. Adora’s pov tho because this is such a dorkish in love song and that bit about “You’ll save all of your dirtiest jokes for me”, Adora saying this to Catra. that’s it

 Paper Rings

future again. this whole album might be just me fantasizing about their future, who knows.

“Cat and mouse for a month or two or three/ Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe/ Darling, you're the one I want, and/ I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this/ Uh huh, that's right/ Darling, you're the one I want/ In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams/ Oh, you're the one I want”

 Death By A Thousand Cuts

I forgot this song and I’m adding it now at the last minute. extremely tired. not gonna paste the song here. but go listen, it’s really fitting for catradora.

“saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts”

Afterglow

this is one I didn’t want to put in here, just because of a few lines specifically, but it made me think of Catra’s apology, so here it goes. (the parts “it’s all in my head” and “It’s all me” that bug me so, but we’ll pretend they don’t exist)

“I pinned your hands behind your back, oh/ Thought I had reason to attack, but no”

“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves/ Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us/ Why'd I have to break what I love so much?/ Sorry that I hurt you/ I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you “

From “Folklore”

OKay, so now that we got here, we’re gonna get a bit creative and take everything with a grain of salt(more than we’ve already been doing) cause I doubt we’re gonna manage to be canon compliant in every one(this includes evermore too, I’m about to go off in these two albums), but everything just oozes catradora, so bear with me. and if you made it this far, damn you’re hot.

The 1

Adora’s pov. before they actually got together.  

“I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit/ Been saying "yes" instead of "no" -> her new life in Brightmoon and all her new good experiences.

“And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow” -> such an Adora thing to say.

“But we were something, don't you think so?/ Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/ And if my wishes came true/ It would've been you/ In my defense, I have none/ For never leaving well enough alone/ But it would've been fun/ If you would've been the one” -> the longing, the yearning

“And it's another day waking up alone“ -> :( 

“I persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ If one thing had been different/ Would everything be different today?”

Cardigan

Catra’s pov. 

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/ Under someone's bed/ You put me on and said I was your favorite”

“A friend to all is a friend to none/ Chase two girls, lose the one/ You drew stars around my scars/ But now I'm bleedin'”

“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss/ I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs/ The smell of smoke would hang around this long/ 'Cause I knew everything when I was young/ I knew I'd curse you for the longest time/ Chasin' shadows in the grocery line/ I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired/ And you'd be standin' in my front porch light/ And I knew you'd come back to me”

Exile

now rlyyy bear with me. It gets confusing. And big. It's the whole song too.

Bon iver's verse + Swift's chorus is Catra seeing adora move on so quickly and leaving Adora behind. 

Swift's verse + Bon Iver's chorus is Adora's pov. And then they merge in the bridge to air their grievances. I'll demonstrate below.

“I can see you standing, honey/ With his arms around your body/ Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all/ And it took you five whole minutes/ To pack us up and leave me with it/ Holdin' all this love out here in the hall”  +  “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ I'm not your problem anymore/ So who am I offending now?/ You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before/ So I'm leaving out the side door = Catra’s pov

“I can see you starin', honey/ Like he's just your understudy/ Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me/ Second, third, and hundredth chances/ Balancin' on breaking branches/ Those eyes add insult to injury”  +  “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ You're not my homeland anymore/ So what am I defending now?/ You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before = Adora’s pov

and then the bridge with both.(it’s one hell of a giant bridge, not gonna paste it here lol)

My tears ricochet

This one i see as a conversation, one that I'll again exemplify lol.

“And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too/ Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe/ All the hell you gave me?/ 'Cause I loved you,��I swear I loved you/ 'Til my dying day” -> both of them 

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ And you're the hero flying around, saving face” ->Catra

“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Adora

“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave” -> Adora

“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Catra

“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both

“And I can go anywhere I want/ Anywhere I want, just not home/ And you can aim for my heart, go for blood/ But you would still miss me in your bones/ And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)/ And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)” -> both

“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> both

“You turned into your worst fears/ And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain” - > Adora

“Crossing out the good years” ->both.

I could honestly make a whole post about this song and Catradora, dissecting lyric by lyric, I even have an animatic for this song thumbnailed, so I’ll jump to the next one before it gets too out of hand. again y’all can ask me anytime if you want to know more.

Mirrorball

Adora and her self sacrificial bs and not being rly her so she can be what everyone expects *from* her. Make me cry more, why don’t you!

“I'm a mirrorball/ I'll show you every version of yourself tonight/ I'll get you out on the floor/ Shimmering beautiful/ And when I break, it's in a million pieces”

“Hush, when no one is around, my dear/ You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes/ Spinning in my highest heels, love/ Shining just for you”

“Hush, I know they said the end is near/ I can change everything about me to fit in/ I'm still on that tightrope/ I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me/ And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why/ I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try/ I'm still on that trapeze/ I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

Seven

Baby Adora to baby Catra. 

“And I've been meaning to tell you/ I think your house is haunted/ Your dad is always mad and that must be why/ And I think you should come live with me/ And we can be pirates/ Then you won't have to cry/ Or hide in the closet/ And just like a folk song/ Our love will be passed on”

August

older teen/adult Catra reminiscing about younger teen Catra dealing with her love for Adora. Probably the last August before Adora joined the rebellion. (ignoring the love triangle ofc)

“But I can see us lost in the memory/ August slipped away into a moment in time/ 'Cause it was never mine/ And I can see us twisted in bedsheets/ August sipped away like a bottle of wine/ 'Cause you were never mine”

“I remember thinkin' I had you/ Back when we were still changin' for the better/ Wanting was enough/ For me, it was enough/ To live for the hope of it all/ Cancel plans just in case you'd call/ And say, "Meet me behind the mall"/ So much for summer love and saying "us"/ 'Cause you weren't mine to lose”

This is me trying

Catra's pov/redemption

“I've been having a hard time adjusting/ I didn't know if you'd care if I came back/ I have a lot of regrets about that/ Pulled the car off the road to the lookout/ Could've followed my fears all the way down/ And maybe I don't quite know what to say/ But I'm here in your doorway/ I just wanted you to know that this is me trying/ And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound/ It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you/ You're a flashback in a film reel”

Illicit affairs

Just leaving it out here cause it is so gayyy. And I'll prob write an au for this once I'm through with my five thousand WIPs.

Invisible string

Just the feeling of the song, not exactly catradora specific. More generic.

“Time, curious time/ Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs/ Were there clues I didn't see?/ And isn't it just so pretty to think/ All along there was some/ Invisible string/ Tying you to me?/  Time, mystical time/ Cutting me open, then healing me fine”

Mad woman

Catra's pov S1

“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy/ What about that?/ And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry/ And there's nothing like a mad woman/ What a shame she went mad/ No one likes a mad woman/ You made her like that/ And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out”

Epiphany 

Adora dying in catra's arms and dreaming about her future with catra. 

“"Sir, I think he's bleeding out"/ And some things you just can't speak about/ With you I serve, with you I fall down, down/ Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out/ Only twenty minutes to sleep/ But you dream of some epiphany/ Just one single glimpse of relief/ To make some sense of what you've seen”

Betty

Another case of a song with STRONG catradora vibe, but too au- ish. The imagery of the song is too clear. Still, these parts here… 

“The worst thing that I ever did/ Was what I did to you/ I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything/ But I know I miss you/ Yeah, I showed up at your party/ Will you have me? Will you love me?/ Will you kiss me on the porch/ In front of all your stupid friends”

Peace

adora's pov. I think is Adora kinda warning Catra that she can’t promise to stop saving the world, she can’t stop being she-ra, it is who she is and danger is going to follow her, so, is it enough if she can never give Catra peace?

“I never had the courage of my convictions/ As long as danger is near/ And it's just around the corner, darlin'/ 'Cause it lives in me/ No, I could never give you peace”

“All these people think love's for show/ But I would die for you in secret”

“The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me/ Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

From "evermore"(FUCKING FINALLY and everything is going to be au-ish I guess)

Champagne problems

Adora's pov, but i resent this cause THEIR PROBLEMS ARE NOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS OKAY? but nevertheless, It’s adora leaving Catra behind and breaking my heart in the fucking process.

“You booked the night train for a reason/ So you could sit there in this hurt”

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing/ Left you out there standing/ Crestfallen on the landing/.../ Your heart was glass, I dropped it”

“You had a speech, you're speechless/ Love slipped beyond your reaches/ And I couldn't give a reason”

How evergreen, our group of friends/ Don't think we'll say that word again/.../ I never was ready so I watch you go/ Sometimes you just don't know the answer/ 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you”

Gold rush

Catra's pov pining over Adora before and after she became She-ra, but especially after with the bit “I don’t like that everyone would die to feel your touch”. After all the pining and imagining what a perfect relationship they could have she wakes up to reality and sees that “it could never be”, “It will never be”. 

“Gleaming, twinkling/ Eyes like sinking ships on waters/ So inviting, I almost jump in”

“I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush/ I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch/ Everybody wants you/ Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you”

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/ With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit/ And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it” 

“My mind turns your life into folklore/ I can't dare to dream about you anymore”

“'Cause it will never be”

‘Tis the damn season

Adora’s pov. Adora being the one who left because she has to, but she misses Catra and their old times together. However, she knows she won’t be able to stay so she’s asking for this weekend and breaking her own heart in the process.

“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me/ But if it's all the same to you/ It's the same to me”

“So we could call it even/ You could call me "babe" for the weekend/ ​'Tis the damn season, write this down/ And the road not taken looks real good now/ And it always leads to you and my hometown”

“You can run, but only so far/ I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave/ But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me/ Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake/ I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay/ So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends/ And wonder about the only soul/ Who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'”

“And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own/ To leave the warmest bed I've ever known/ We could call it even/ Even though I'm leaving/ And I'll be yours for the weekend”

Tolerate it

Catra’s pov and how she thinks Adora feels towards her. How she only tolerated Catra until something bigger, better and shinier came along and she abandoned her.(what to expect from a track five, huh?)

“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?/ Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?/ I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life/ Drawing hearts in the byline/ Always taking up too much space or time”

“You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I/ Break free and leave us in ruins/ Took this dagger in me and removed it/ Gain the weight of you then lose it/ Believe me, I could do it”

“If it's all in my head tell me now/ Tell me I've got it wrong somehow/ I know my love should be celebrated/ But you tolerate it”

Happiness

adora’s pov. I feel this is Adora letting Catra go after season 3. just, she loves Catra and there were many great moments because of her, but that doesn’t mean the hurt isn’t there now. also doesn’t mean she’ll be forever miserable, proved by her new life in Brightmoon. It’s her realizing that Catra is actually hurting her, and being angry and then letting go.(god this reminds me of a fanfic where catra stated that she was happy without Adora, could be happy without Adora. But with her, she could be happier)

“There'll be happiness after you/ But there was happiness because of you/ Both of these things can be true/ Past the blood and bruise/ Past the curses and cries/ Beyond the terror in the nightfall/ Haunted by the look in my eyes/ That would've loved you for a lifetime/ Leave it all behind/ And there is happiness”

“Tell me, when did your winning smile/ Begin to look like a smirk?/ When did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ Pointed at my deepest hurt?”

“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/ I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven/ And I pulled your body into mine/ Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties/ No one teaches you what to do/ When a good man hurts you/ And you know you hurt him, too” -> this whole bridge, man. THIS RIGHT HERE. They both hurt each other, there’s no simple clean cut way to look at things, to make Catra the big bad villain. but that also doesn’t erase the pain felt, so argh, this kills me.

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness/ You haven't met the new me yet/ And I think she'll give you that” -> and this little hint of hope.

Dorothea(i swear, i will write a Dorothea/tis the damn season au)

Adora is dorothea and this is Catra’s pov

“Hey, Dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me?/ When we were younger down in the park/ Honey, making a lark of the misery”

“You got shiny friends since you left town/ A tiny screen's the only place I see you now”

“It's never too late to come back to my side/ The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo/ And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know/ You know that you'll always know me, Dorothea (Uh-uh)/Dorothea”

coney island

again, both povs. one to each other, illustrated below.

“Did I close my fist around something delicate?/ Did I shatter you?/ And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island/ Wondering where did my baby go?/ The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go/ Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -> adora

“Over and over/ Lost again with no surprises/ Disappointments, close your eyes/ And it gets colder and colder/ When the sun goes down” -> both

“The question pounds my head/ What's a lifetime of achievement/ If I pushed you to the edge?” -> catra

“Were you waiting at our old spot/ In the tree line/ By the gold clock/ Did I leave you hanging every single day?” -> adora

“Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey?” -> Catra

“And when I got into the accident/ The sight that flashed before me was your face” -> Adora

“Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -both

Ivy (hold on tight, this is big)

this is a good one.

“How's one to know?/ I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones/ In a faith forgotten land/ In from the snow/ Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow/ Tarnished but so grand”

“And the old widow goes to the stone every day/ But I don't, I just sit here and wait/ Grieving for the living”

“Oh, goddamn/ My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ Taking mine, but it's been promised to another/ Oh, I can't/ Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ My house of stone, your ivy grows/ And now I'm covered in you so” ->  for me, this is Adora in the moments preceding the failsafe and the Heart of Etheria, and the person she’s committed to is She-ra(and dying as she-ra). And she’s trying to fight and be strong to make the sacrifice she knows she’ll be asked to, but she simply can’t stop Catra from “putting roots in her dreamland”. Catra’s touch enlightened her, even though tarnished by their years of being enemies, it felt grand and it could chase the pain away; just for a moment, all her pain fit in Catra’s hand. But, she grieves for this touch for she knows it’s only a dream. Even though she’s now “covered” in Catra, she’ll never be able to fully have her, not when she’s so committed to She-ra.

“I wish to know/ The fatal flaw that makes you long to be/ Magnificently cursed/ He's in the room/ Your opal eyes are all I wish to see/ He wants what's only yours” -> now here she’s in the heart of etheria and wondering why would Catra want her so much when she knows she can’t have her, when she knows she’s doomed. the He in this is Horde Prime. As we see in the “future hallucination”, all she wants is Catra and he wants(to destroy ofc) what’s Catra’s only - herself.

“How's one to know?/ I'd live and die for moments that we stole/On begged and borrowed time/ So tell me to run/ Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become -> Adora know it’s only borrowed time, it will end and she feels like there’s nothing she can do about that.

“So yeah, it's a fire/ It's a goddamn blaze in the dark/ And you started it/ You started it/ So yeah, it's a war/ It's the goddamn fight of my life/ And you started it/ You started it” -> here Adora is finally fighting back against Destiny, Prime, The Heart… and it’s all because Catra started it just by loving Adora, covering her in her ivy and making Adora so unable to not love her back.

(can you tell this is one of my favorite songs in the album?)

long story short

honestly, post-war catradora. Adora’s pov.

“Fatefully/ I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me/ Misery/ Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep/ And you passed right by/ I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides/ The knife cuts both ways/ If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break”

“When I dropped my sword/ I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door/ And we live in peace/ But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready/ No more keepin' score/ Now I just keep you warm (Keep you warm)/ No more tug of war Now I just know there's more”

“And I fell from the pedestal/ Right down the rabbit hole/ Long story short, it was a bad time/ Pushed from the precipice/ Climbed right back up the cliff/ Long story short, I survived”

closure

catra to adora pre season 5

“it's been a long time/ And seeing the shape of your name/ Still spells out pain/ It wasn't right/ The way it all went down/ Looks like you know that now”

“Yes, I got your letter/ Yes, I'm doing better/ It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone/ I know that it's over, I don't need your/ Closure, your closure”

“Don't treat me like/ Some situation that needs to be handled/ I'm fine with my spite/ I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life/ Staying friends would iron it out so nice/ Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea/ That you put between you and me/ But it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary”

Evermore

just the message in general i think fits season 5 catradora very well. how, yeah, the pain sucks and it’s terrible but it won’t be for evermore. Justin’s bridge exemplify very well just the desperation of being in the middle of this whirlwind of pain, begging for a pause just to see if there’s any way to be recovered from that. it just so happens, there is. 

no exemples in this one, the vibe of speaks for itself and I’m rly tired right now.

...

oof, so there was it. Hope you liked it! show me some love cause this took a while lol(but a got my TS marathon done without feeling guilty, because at least… content? so there’s that). if you made it this far, THANK YOU!! stream evermore and good night y’all(or morning or afternoon, wtv works for your timezone lol) 

[the-great-bbe]

Ready or Not!

Rhaenys crawls under her father’s bed. Mama was quite clear: they were playing hide and seek, and Rhaenys needed to hide her best from all the men looking for her. She stifles a giggle into her little hands. After the count of ten—ready or not, here they come!

or a quick little fanfic, about our favorite game of hide and seek :)

Lyrics of “The Hide and Seek Song” copyright by Headquarters Music.

Who wants to play a game? It’s time for hide and seek!

--

Mama kisses Rhaenys’s forehead. Egg sleeps in his cradle, despite all the noise coming from outside. It sounds scary out there, but Rhaenys is safe with Mama and Egg. Mama will never let anything bad happen to her, not even the nightmares that scare Rhaenys in the middle of the night.

“Let’s play a game, my sweet.” Mama’s hands are shaking, and her voice is high pitched. But everything must be fine, because they’re going to play a game. And not just any game, but hide and seek! “Listen carefully. Many men will try and find us, but we can’t be found by anyone. When the game is over, I’ll come get you myself, do you understand? You must hide very well, not even Balerion can find you.”

Rhaenys nods. “I’m good at this game, Mama! I’ll hide forever and ever and then we’ll have honey cakes after dinner.” Maybe if Rhaenys hides the best she can, Mama will let her have two entire honey cakes!

Mama kisses her again, and hugs her so tight that Rhaenys squeaks against her shoulder. “My little sunshine, I love you so much. Now hide. Hide!”

Rhaenys scurries off. Mama is really worried even if she didn’t say so. This game must be very important—perhaps Grandfather is playing too, even though he never plays games. So where should she hide? Maybe behind the barrels in the wine cellar, or in the gardens? No, beneath Papa’s bed! No one ever goes in his room anymore, and the space is so small that only she and Balerion can fit!

She tiptoes up the stairs, and closes the bedroom door so that it’s almost shut but not entirely. Closed doors are more suspicious in hide and seek, after all. Then she tucks herself beneath the bed, and arranges the heavy bedspread so that it’s not wrinkled. Rhaenys shimmies to the very edge of where the bedframe meets the wall, and waits.

She waits, and waits. She almost wants to go back and ask Mama for how long they’re supposed to play, and how many players. But instead she wiggles with anticipation. Mama was quite clear: they were playing hide and seek, and Rhaenys needed to hide her best from all the men looking for her. And Rhaenys is the very best at hiding! She stifles a giggle into her little hands. After the count of ten, or maybe a hundred—ready or not, here they come!

Rhaenys spies a shadow by the almost-closed door, and holds her breath.

-- Run, run, run! Time to run and hide!

Run, run, run! And now I’m going to find you, scurry off into the darkness.

Hurry, I’m behind you!

Don’t you speak! Hide and seek!

--

“Myrcella! Myrcella, where are you?”

Myrcella bites her lip. Joffrey is no good at being a seeker, he gets too angry and starts shouting for her and the servant children. And of course the servants come out, and Joffrey is so mean when he catches someone! But not Myrcella—she is the very best at this game, and she would rather fall asleep beneath this dusty old bed than let Joffrey win.

Mother tells her to let Joffrey win, to keep him from throwing a tantrum, but Uncle Tyrion says that it’s good for even the Crown Prince to be told no every now and then. She sniffles. One of the serving girls showed her this hiding spot, saying that no one ever looks under here since it’s so deep in Maegoir’s Holdfast and who can fit beneath a bed anyway?

Why does the Hand even have this room—maybe this is where Lady Lysa is supposed to sleep, instead of in Lord Littlefinger’s rooms. Myrcella isn’t supposed to know about that, of course. But she knows a lot. She knows that Joffrey isn’t going to be a very good king, and that Mother and Father should’ve never married, and that the mean old black cat Tommen wants to catch had another owner before. Myrcella heard Uncle Jaime speak about him once, and the person who owned the cat before. Uncle Jaime says many things about before Myrcella was born, but only when he is drunk and sad.

She twists a bit of string around her string until her finger turns purple. By now Joffrey must have found Sweetrobin and Tommen. She hopes that Sweetrobin cried and punched Joffrey in the nose. He gets to hit Joffrey without getting in trouble, since his father is the Hand. Myrcella is just a girl though, and must be a sweet little lady who lets Joffrey do whatever he wants. Last time she complained to him about cheating in games, he bit her ear. Mother wiped her tears and told her to bear it with a smile. Myrcella stopped complaining after that, but it still burns in her stomach.

Father says he won’t be like this forever, at least. Myrcella hopes so. She imagines him fully grown, but still the same way, and instead of twisting her arm he twists her neck. Just like Tommen’s kitten that bit him once. Joffrey let the poor little creature under Tommen’s bed, and Tommen screamed about monsters for weeks afterward. She sighs. There aren’t any monsters here that Myrcella doesn’t already know.

Myrcella hears footsteps down the corridor and holds her breath. Oh, if Joffrey finds her, he’ll tug at her hair and scratch at her arms! He’ll be so horrible, he always is! She’d rather die than be found by him!

--

Tiptoe through the cellar or crawl under your bed.

Anywhere you’ve fled, I am going to find you!

Stay inside the shadows, all you girls and boys.

Don’t you make noise, or I am going to find you!

--

“Are you afraid?” Myriame asks Arya, but she shakes her head. She refuses to be afraid. Not now, when they’re still hiding from the men who took Father away and locked Sansa in her room.

She shivers and Myriame pats her arm. She’s one of the serving girls—Arya heard Father call them Lord Varys’s little birds, once. Before everything went so wrong. But when Father was taken, a group of serving girls took Arya by the arm and hid with her in an alcove. They cut her hair, they dirtied her face, they shredded her fine dress and pinned a dirty pinafore to her shoulders. No more Arya Stark, just Nan. Nan, amongst Myriame, and Celia, and Delight, and Sera. Just another serving girl hiding behind curtains, nor beneath the bed.

“It will be alright,” Myriame whispers. “The only ones who go down here are us. Everyone else gets caught like Princess Myrcella. Those men won’t ever get us.”

Arya shivers. No one speaks of Princess Myrcella and how she disappeared without a trace. Did bad men steal her away like Father and Sansa? She dares to ask, “How do you know?”

But then their breath because there’s men outside their room. Their voices are harsh and drip with ill intent. One of them calls Sansa a whore and Arya wants to stab his eyes out with Needle. But then they enter the room and she squeezes her eyes shut and holds her hands over her nose and mouth. They can’t find her. They can’t! They’ll take her away from Father and Sansa, and who knows what they’ll do to Myriame!

There are four beds in this room, a servants’ dorm. Arya dares to peek. They check beneath one bed. Then another. One of the men cackles, “I can smell you, little girl! Where are you hiding?”

Neither of them dare to breathe. The man says in a high pitched mockery voice, “Ready or not, here I come!”

Arya burrows into Myriame’s side and waits to die. There is noise, yelling, shouting, terrible noise. Then there is heavy silence, only broken by Myriame’s breaths. Arya doesn’t dare open her eyes. Not for a second.

Myriame murmurs again that it will be alright, but Arya keeps her eyes firmly shut, counting the seconds.

--

Run, run, run! Creep up on my grave!

Run, run, run! Stalk the night away!

Scuttle off into the night! But what’ll be behind you?

Don’t you speak! Hide and seek!

--

Tywin barricades the doors shut in his wrath. How do two grown knights go missing in daylight?! And not just any knights, but his own—he needs Gregor Clegane’s bloodlust to scour the Riverlands, like a beast on a leash. And Amory Lorch is slime suited for the most unsavory tasks that Tywin cannot do. But they are gone, disappeared without a trace.

Just like his granddaughter Myrcella.

He sheaves himself onto his chair and pours himself a goblet from a blood red decanter. Years have passed, and still Cersei blames the Dornish. But even Tywin can’t point the finger at them, as there is no evidence at all. Myrcella simply played hide and seek one day, and was never found. Most likely some depraved monster of a servant took the girl for his own desires and threw her into the Blackwater, a fate entirely underserved for anyone of House Lannister. The fact that the girl was too sweet to harm a fly just makes the wound sting greater. Without her calming influence, Joffrey is an unhinged little bastard, and Tommen a spineless fool. What is Cersei teaching her children?

Not to mention she’s let both Stark girls escape! First Arya in the chaos after Eddard Stark’s arrest, then Sansa from a barricaded room! Last Tywin heard, they were both back in their mother’s custody at Riverrun. And Robb Stark is proving himself to be a wolf on the battlefield—he’ll have to deal with the boy himself. If he can stop him from overtaking the Riverlands and spilling into the Westerlands! Tywin could gouge his daughter’s eyes out for her folly. They will never get Jaime back, now that they’ve lost their bargaining chips!

Tywin hears footsteps lead up to his door and barks, “I am to be undisturbed!” He doesn’t hear them head back down the stairwell, and he growls to himself. Idiots, he is surrounded by idiots! He stalks to the door and swings open the door.

There is no one there. He blinks, then closes it. He turns back towards his chair, and the window is open. Cold sweat beads at his brow. He never opened that window, and yet the curtains blow in the wind.

A princess and two knights go missing in broad daylight without a trace. This must be the work of faceless Men from Braavos, paid to…to what? Myrcella is an obvious target, if less obvious than Joffrey or Tommen. But why Clegane and Lorch? Perhaps this is a Dornish ploy, as revenge for Princess Elia and her children—

Something falls over in his adjoined privy and Tywin swears he hears footsteps come up the stairwell once more. He steals into his bedroom without so much as a whisper, as one breath. He must hide. The wardrobe’s doors are swinging in the breeze. The Faceless Man will hear him close them, surely. But where else? His heart pounds in his temples and his vision swims. By the gods, are they already inside the room?

He looks down. It is insulting, but his only choice. Tywin squeezes himself beneath his bed and pushes himself towards the wall. The walls themselves are hollow, to allow the servants to attend without disturbing his betters. If he can find the trapdoor without alerting the assassin, he can survive this.

He is Tywin Lannister, the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. He will not die here! He holds his breath, and wills his numb hands to stop shaking.

--

Like a frog inside a skillet, a lobster in a pan.

You don’t understand that I am going to find you!

Be still as a mountain and quiet as a mouse, ‘cause any little sound,

And I will surely find you!

--

Joffrey is dead. Joffrey is dead! And the castle isn’t safe! Tommen scurries into an abandoned room deep in Maegor’s Holdfast. There’s just a trundle bed in the corner, boxes piled on top of each other in the center, and dust coating everything. Once, Myrcella showed him this room while playing hide and seek—but that was when she was still here. Even years later, no one understands what happened to her, or to Gregor Clegane, or Amory Lorch, or to Grandfather. Mother blames the wicked Dornish. Joffrey blames evil Northmen magic. But Tommen knows, he knows that it’s the monsters. He has seen them in the night! They are in the walls! They are beneath the beds!

Tommen told Margaery to run before he fled the wedding feast. He hopes she survives. But he can’t think of more than finding his hiding place. He’ll never make it out of the castle, not with the smallfolk starving and so angry at them. He’ll sneak out at night, before the monster goes feeding. And then he’ll head…somewhere. Anywhere but here!

Try as he might, Joffrey haunts his steps. His bloated purple face, the bile and blood spilling down his chin to pool in Mother’s lap. Mother screamed and screamed when he died, like the day when they couldn’t find Myrcella or Father. The monsters must have killed him too, like everything else in this castle. And now he is alone!

Tommen shrieks, and claws at his hair. He can’t breathe! They can hear him! They can smell him! He is next!

He crouches down on the bed in the corner. He wills himself to breathe but he’s too afraid. Joffrey is dead! Myrcella is dead! Grandfather is dead! Will they ever find his body?! Tommen chokes on his sobs and his entire chest aches. He hurts. It hurts. The fear, it hurts, make it stop—

He collapses to the ground. He writhes, and scoots beneath the bed, and muffles his screams into the dust and the dark.

--

Tick—tick—tock, are you ready or not?

Tick—tick—tock, listen to the clock!

Hasten off into the black, don’t waste another heartbeat,

Don’t you peek! Hide and seek!

--

Dragons roar from over Kings Landing, and Cersei sobs into her hands. She should be on the Iron Throne to meet the usurpers, but then they burned her Kingsguard at the gates and—and she panicked. She ran, and hid beneath a servant’s bed.

King Aegon Targaryen the Sixth, come back from the dead! With silver-gold hair and bronze skin and indigo eyes, thirty thousand Dornish spears at his back and that miserable little chit Shireen Baratheon as a bride with the Stormlands as her dowry! And Daenerys Stormborn, Queen Beyond the Sea, come to help her nephew claim his throne with their shared dragons! They each ride one, with one reserved for the sister that Lannister men murdered along with godsdamned Elia Martell! Cersei could scream, but then they’d find her.

She must escape.

If she makes her way back to Casterly Rock, then she shall be saved. No dragon can defeat the heart of the Westerlands! Cersei can still salvage this, even with all her family dead and her dreams scattered to ashes in her throat—

At least there is no valonqar. The prophecy took her children from her, but her neck is still her own.

At least she got to hold Joffrey as he died. Myrcella and Tommen had no bodies to bury. He was her first, and her last, and she prays that he found his siblings from wherever those wretched monsters stole them away.

Muffled footsteps creep from beyond the corridor and Cersei can’t breathe. A servant? A Dornish spear? A Dothraki? Daenerys? Aegon? A monster?

Bare feet enter the room, splattered with dirt and blood. One of Varys’s little birds? They skip to the edge of the bed, and a sweet voice rings out, “Found you!”

Swift as night and brutal as the Blackwater, a hand reaches under and grips Cersei by the hair. She screams as she is dragged out, and then she can’t scream because hands are at her throat and twisting—

--

Let the countdown begin!

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

--

Rhaenys peeks out from behind the door. All is still and silent. Not even the flies are buzzing. She stifles a giggle into her hands. Aegon raises an eyebrow, and she explains, “Everyone always hides under the bed. A child’s mistake, it can be forgiven with time and wisdom.”

He shakes his head, before resting his chin on her head. “You’ll never need to hide beneath the bed again, I swear it.”

“I know.” She trusts her brother. She loved him before he could even remember her face, of course she trusts him. Him, and their aunt Daenerys, and their family in Dorne, and all her friends hiding in the walls—Rhaenys shall never be alone again.

Her family are in the throne room, and she shouldn’t keep them waiting. How happy they will be to see her! How happy she will be to see them! The weight of years of hiding bows her shoulders. It is time for her to stop hiding, stop seeking, stop this game and take her place in Aegon’s circle. He will be so proud to see how she’s survived. Mama would be proud. But Rhaenys…well, old habits die hard.

She shimmies beneath the bed and pulls Aegon down with her. He laughs and she lets the shadows become her. Just once more. Once more, the darkness becomes her. Rhaenys bares her teeth in a grin. What better tool for a new king than a monster who knows where everyone hides? Aegon survived the last game between them, and she’ll keep it that way.

She tells Aegon to count to ten, and he holds his breath.

A clock ticks somewhere.

There are many who covet the throne. And the countdown begins anew.

--

Ready or not, here I come!

[particularemu]

Brokenhearted | A Lee Minho/Lee Know Scenario

Word Count: 1531

Type: Like 90% Fluff and 10% Angst

Warnings: heartbreak, unreciprocated feelings

Prompts: 8 (Forget it. You fucking suck.)

Author’s Note: Sorry this took me like 4 months to finally complete. I had a bitch of a time writing this one for some reason. 

I’m not taking requests from this list anymore, but the prompt is from this prompt list.

Being in love with your best friend is pure torture. 

Being in love with your best friend when you’ve already confessed? EVEN WORSE.

You sighed as you piled a handful of popcorn into your mouth, wide eyes fixed on a cheesy rom-com as you munched on the popped kernels. Minho always made fun of you for watching such pointless movies, but you didn’t care. There was something relaxing about watching two teenagers fall in love despite all the pointless drama surrounding them. You loved movies that had a happy ending. 

If only you were so lucky…

Oh, how you wished your confession ended in a prom date, a first kiss, and a lasting relationship… Now you just lived through twenty-something year old actresses, imagining you and Minho as the main leads. 

The memory of your confession was fresh in your mind as if it happened yesterday. You were a bright-eyed second-year in high school, hoping to confess to your long-time crush, Lee Minho. The boy was smart, good-looking, talented, and he had a great personality. The two of you weren’t that great of friends, but he hung around your friend group often. Often enough for you to fall head-over-heels for him. The two of you always seemed to click when he hung around your friend group. 

Eventually your feelings became too much to handle and you, thanks to the help of your best friend, decided to confess to him. Nothing was going to happen between you two if you didn’t tell him how you felt! Besides… you two got along really well. That means he’s going to say yes right?

Oh, how wrong you were…

You headed up to Minho, note in hand and poured your heart out to him, hoping — praying that he would feel the same way. Minho crushed your heart with eight simple words. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t feel the same way.” 

You were absolutely heartbroken. 

A few days later, Minho happened to see you sitting by yourself at lunch. Instead of sitting next to his buddies from dance class, he decided to keep you company. Minho sat his lunch tray across from yours and took a seat, bright eyes watching you as you finished extra homework. 

“Why are you here?” You didn’t want to sound like a bitch, but you were still pretty angsty after having your crush snap your heart into a million pieces. Not that he intended to… 

“You’re alone.” Minho shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Everyone should have a little company.” The boy chuckled and took a bite of his lunch, eyes fixed on the frantic scratching of your pencil. 

“Isn’t it weird for you?” If it wasn’t weird for him, it sure was for you. You couldn’t help but imagine him sitting next to you every day during lunch, talking about his day, watching him during dance competitions, kissing those plump lips… 

Okay, you were letting your mind wander again. 

Minho tilted his head in confusion. “Why would it be weird?” 

It was really weird. 

Despite the awkward conversation the two of you shared, you still enjoyed seeing his face. Even if you weren’t dating him, you were happy that he still considered you a friend. 

And friends you were!

Over the next few years, Minho became your partner in crime. The two of you were best friends, attached at the hip. You were never away from each other. Unfortunately, your feelings for him never faded. In fact, they got stronger the closer you got with the boy. 

Even five years later. 

Minho barged through the door and tossed his jacket on the end of your couch. “Are you really watching this garbage again?” He chuckled. “You’ve seen it five-thousand times already.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at the boy. “No please, let yourself in.” Perhaps giving your best friend a spare key to your apartment was a bad idea... “I come bearing gifts.” Minho chuckled and tossed a candy bar in your direction. “Think fast.” 

You beamed at the chocolate bar as you hopped off the couch, throwing your arms around him. “How’d you know I wanted one of these?” You squeezed Minho as hard as you could, making the boy groan. 

“Too tight.” Minho dramatically fell to the ground, sending the two of you into a fit of giggles. 

“God, you’re so dramatic.” You held your hand out to the boy, smiling when his hand rested in yours. God, you wished…

“You always want candy.” Minho chuckled. “But that’s not why I’m here.” 

“Yeah?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you here then?” As if you don’t enjoy his company.

“I’m here to ask about that boy you were talking to.” Minho wiggled his eyebrows as he opened his own candy bar, taking a giant bite from the crunchy chocolate. “The one you have a big fat crush on.” 

Ouch that hurt. Why did that hurt?

“I don’t have a crush on anyone.” You mumbled, taking a bite of your chocolate bar, hoping a mouth full of chocolate would keep Minho from asking more questions. 

Minho rolled his eyes. “Yes you do. What’s his name… Chan? I think his name is Chan.” Minho snickered. “Come on, quit playing games. You can tell me anything.” 

Could you? Of course you knew that you could trust Minho, but you felt like telling your best friend of five years that you never stopped loving him wasn’t the best idea. What if things didn’t go well? Instead of sticking around this time, he might just leave you…

You couldn’t stand the thought of losing your best friend, but what if… What if you had the chance to be happy with him? Maybe it was time…

“Can we talk?” Your voice was small, fear taking over your usual confidence. “We need to talk.” 

Minho chuckled. “Talk about what? Your new boyfriend?”

His words hit harder than they should have. Minho was just teasing you, like he always does and yet you took offense this time. Why couldn’t he see that you loved him?

“You know what? Forget it. You fucking suck.” You rolled your eyes at the boy and stormed off to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. 

Minho tilted his head to the side in confusion as he followed after you. He was beyond confused. You’ve never been this pissed off at his antics. Usually you would laugh along and tell him he was an ass when he got out of line. What happened this time? 

Minho knocked on the door, “Hey, I’m sorry. I’ll listen to you this time.” His brows creased when he heard you quietly crying on the other side of the door. 

Fuck… 

He didn’t realize he hurt your feelings this bad. “Hey, I’m coming in.” Minho slowly opened the door to see you curled up in your bed, hugging the fuzzy blanket he got you for your birthday to your chest as you cried. “Aww, sweetheart.” Minho rushed to your side and rested his hand on your arm. “I was just playing.” 

“You’re so fucking dense.” You snapped at Minho, wiping your tears as you brushed his hand off you. “I can’t love anyone else because I still love you.” You scooted away from Minho, trying to distance yourself from the boy as if it would protect you from his response. You’ve done this before, and now you’re about to repeat history. You knew there was no possibility with him and yet, you couldn’t avoid falling in love with him. You looked over to see Minho frozen in place. You couldn’t bear to hear another rejection. “Can you please leave?” 

Minho’s eyes widened even more if that was possible. “No.”

“Minho please just go.” You whined as you turned your back to him. 

“No.” Minho responded. “I can’t leave you like this.” 

“Fucking go.” You used all your strength and pushed on Minho’s chest, knocking the boy off the bed. “I can’t do this again please just go.” 

Minho quickly rushed to your side, taking your hands in his. “Listen to me. These past few years have been the best years of my life.” Minho smiled sadly. “I know I told you I didn’t feel the same way, but sweetheart that was five years ago.” Minho chuckled. “We’re old now babydoll. We’ve grown up.” 

You sniffled and pulled one of your hands away from his to wipe your tears. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Minho snorted. “I’m trying to be romantic.” 

“Just tell me how you feel.” You sighed and tightened your grip around his hands. “Please just tell me.” 

Minho smiled. “I started to fall for you the more we hung out, but I didn’t want to hurt you by digging up old memories. I wasn’t sure if you liked me anymore.” He paused. “Damn, I wouldn’t have liked me. I was a dick.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “No you weren’t. You were sweet.” 

“I was an ass. I rejected you and then —” 

You silenced Minho with a kiss. Finally, after all these years, you finally got to kiss the man of your dreams. You finally got to feel his lips against yours, and it was pure bliss. You leaned forward, smiling into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around you. 

“Wow.” Minho chuckled. “How long have you wanted to do that?”

“5 years.” You kissed him again. “You still fucking suck, but I love you.” 

Minho smiled brightly as he laughed. “That’s fair. I love you too, you dork.”

Tags: @jisungsjheekies​ @channiesmixtape​ (my tag list smol lmao. I can’t remember if I had one before I left aj;sdlkfj;asldkfj)

[oliviaischillin1204]

caught

Pairings: Platonic LAMP

Word Count: 2,551

Logan didn’t play games. That did not mean, however, that he always had a choice.

i don’t know, have this *jazz hands*

Among the sides, Logan was certainly not the one to engage in a chase. He didn’t prefer having to work that hard as a ler, and as a lee... well. It just wasn’t his usual style.

Unfortunately for him, being the only side who didn’t typically act in a certain way meant that he was wholly unnumbered by those who did:

Patton, who always seemed to possess an inane amount of energy. Roman, who was easily suited for highly physical activities. And Virgil, who was fight or flight for a reason.

All of it added up to Logan sprinting through the ever-changing halls of the Mind Palace, doing everything in his power to stay as far away from every single one of them as possible.

“Logan!” Patton’s voice carried through the halls, the slight echo making it impossible to tell where it was coming from. “Won’t you come back and play with us, Logi Bear?”

“You can’t run forever,” Roman added, and Logan could practically hear the smirk in his words. “Maybe if you say sorry for running away, we’ll only tickle you a little bit.”

Above the beating of his heart and his own shallow breaths, Logan somehow managed to hear Virgil’s low chuckle as if he was right behind him.

“Roman, don’t lie to him. We’re gonna tickle you, Logan. However we want, for however long we want to. You’re gonna try so hard to get away, but we won’t let you. Imagine: what will it feel like when you finally get caught? All those butterflies in your stomach are gonna wanna come out, and we’ll help them. We’ll hold you down all nice and tight, and we’ll tickle and tickle and tickle you until every single last butterfly is out of your tummy. Oh, sure, it could take a while, maybe even an hour or two, but we’ll get there. Eventually. And you’ll love it, because more than anything, you love being tickled until you can’t take anymore.”

His voice rang out over the entire Mind Palace; Logan couldn’t escape it if he tried. All of his concentration was taken by not giving into Virgil’s words, because he knew as soon as he gave in it would be over, and they would catch him, and they would tickle him, and already his head was growing fuzzy and his limbs were growing weaker as the anticipation grew and grew for the attack that he knew was coming, and that he could do absolutely nothing to stop.

“Now tell us, little Logan,” Virgil’s voice continued, sounding even closer than before. “How long are you gonna make us wait?”

All of his concentration was on blocking out Virgil’s voice. So he failed to notice the body hiding behind the corner until he barreled around the turn.

Logan shrieked at the shock, but it was nothing to the fear that pressed forward in his chest at the sight of Virgil’s dark eyes glittering as he wrapped his arms around Logan’s torso.

“Gotcha.”

He squeezed his fingers into the divot at Logan’s natural waistline, giving no buildup nor warning before sending Logan into terrified cackles.

“You’re gonna get tickled, you’re gonna get tickled...” he sang lowly, easily walking forward with Logan pressed against his chest. The logical side was already too weakened by the tickles at his sides to even protest as he was pushed backwards down the hall.

The voices of their friends grew louder as they continued to walk back down the hall, and Virgil’s smile turned wicked.

“Oh, they’re gonna tickle you so badly,” he cooed directly into Logan’s ear, giving a few butterfly kisses to his jaw, cheek and ear that made him blush even deeper. “We’re all gonna get a turn to tickle little Logan today. Are you excited? Do you feel those butterflies yet?”

Logan snorted, wrenching his head away from Virgil’s eyelashes as he fought to contain his giggles.

“N-- nohoho-- no!”

With all of his remaining energy, his pushed against Virgil’s chest and shoved himself out of his hold, stumbling for a moment before tripping over himself and falling backwards without any protection.

Until Logan was caught halfway through his fall, two hands grabbing him right under his arms and wiggling their fingers in his armpts before he even had a moment to process that he’d been caught.

Even more laughter was forced out of Logan, especially as he heard Roman’s voice cooing teases in his ear.

“Uh oh, did Logi have a little tumble? Yeah? Looks like someone’s a little bit trapped now. Aw, are your pitties ticklish? I hope so; I can’t wait to tickle you there forever and ever. Tickle, tickle, tickle...”

His soft voice was driving Logan mad, and it got even worse as he began half-dragging, half-carrying Logan back towards the room that Virgil had been taking him to. The emo side wasted no time in hovering over Logan’s torso as they walked, digging his fingers into Logan’s flanks and keeping him thoroughly unable to even stand back on his feet as he was escorted to the living room.

“Sss-- stohoho-- no!” he cried, kicking his legs as much as he could just to get rid of some of the nervous energy that was building up in his body. Roman and Virgil laughed over him, and it was obviously that his little movements hadn’t gona unnoticed.

“Aw, you’re just a little squirmy boy, aren’t you?” Roman asked, curling his fingers rapidly to tickle Logan as much as he could without dropping him.

Virgil began piching both of Logan’s sides as once, raising his voice to be heard over his frantic squeals. “I can’t wait to see how desperate you get once we start tickling you for real. It’s gonna be awesome.”

Logan gasped for breath, shaking his head with a desperate intensity.

“Plehehehehease-- please!”

To his surprise and gratitude, the tickles stopped. Logan had all of one second to feel relief before suspicion and fear immediately took their place.

“Did someone say please?”

Oh, God. Logan craned his neck back as far as he could, catching a glimpse of Patton moving closer to their awkwardly positioned group. As soon as he could reach them, Patton poked a random spot on Logan’s stomach. He jumped, but Patton only did it again. And again. And again.

“Did. I. Hear,” he said with a sunny smile, poking Logan’s belly with each word, “This. Little. Cutie. Pie. Say. Please?”

“Pretty sure you did, Popstar,” Virgil added, his hands still resting on Logan’s sides as a casual reminder of what was to come. Patton made a delighted noise.

“Aw, does my little genius want some good old-fashioned tickle time?” he cooed, leaning over to catch Logan’s eye with an adoring grin. Logan shook his head, but he could do nothing to stop the laughter that was already pouring out.

“Awww!” Patton squealed softly, running his arms underneath Logan’s body and helping Roman ease him onto the floor. “Looks like we’re gonna have some fun today, gang! Roman, if you would?”

Roman nodded and snapped, and suddenly there were four padded bands around each of Logan’s limbs. The three of them laid him out on the floor, sretching his arms and legs out while he was too weak with giggles to fight them off.

“Okay, everyone ready?” Roman asked, raising his hands and fluttering his fingers just above Logan’s pits. Logan gasped at the sight, yanking his arms down to his sides-- except he couldn’t move. They were stuck above him, leaving him stretched out and exposed and completely, terrifingly vulnerable.

“Uh oh,” Patton said softly, leaning down so he could whisper in Logan’s sensitive ear. “I think someone’s gonna get tickled real bad.”

“Pahahatton...” Logan begged, frozen in place not just because of his restraints, but because of the giddy fear that was coursing through his veins. “Please-- please, no.”

Patton ignored him, humming a happy tune as he carefully pulled up Logan’s shirt, exposing his bare stomach.

“Let’s see here...” he muttered, seeming to himself as he scanned up and down Logan’s torso. “Let’s try... right... here.”

At that, Patton pressed one pointer finger into one specific point on Logan’s stomach, gently and gradually applying more pressure to the spot as he began slowly corkscrewing his finger back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, never deviating from that one tiny point on Logan’s tummy.

Logan went hysterical immediately. His entire body lurched to the other side as Patton slowly and methodically tormented one of his single worst tickle spots on his entire body.

“Oh my God,” he heard Virgil mutter as he screamed with laughter. “Now that’s a good spot.”

Roman hummed in agreement. “True, but you know what would make it better?”

“What’s that, Ro?” Patton asked, although the lilt in his voice reveled that he knew what Roman was going to do.

Roman smiled down at Logan. “Less wiggling!”

He snapped again, and now there were more bands across Logan’s body: his upper arms, his pelvis, and just below his knees. They must be magic, Logan realized blearily, because they stayed totally immobile from where the others had placed them. Logan was stuck: he couldn’t protect himself, couldn’t hide his tickle spots, couldn’t even move a centimeter to get away from the tickles.

Logan whimpered, but Patton clapped in approval. “Much better!”

He lifted his hand again, his one pointer finger hovering dangerously close to Logan’s tickle spot. “Let’s see what happens now, okay, Logi Bear?”

The finger touched down, but this time when Logan’s body jerked away, the restraint around his pelvis kept his torso in place. He couldn’t pull away any further, even as Patton added a few more fingers to scratch and flutter all around that one little spot.

“Doesn’t that just feel so good, sweetie?” Patton asked, chin in his hands as he slowly circled his fingers all around the spot. “Your tummy must have so many butterflies right now! You’re all stretched out, snug as a bug in a rug, and we get to play with each and every one of your tickle spots, and you can’t move one little inch to get away! Aren’t you just so happy that we caught you?”

Logan shook his head, already too far gone to form coherent words. Above him, he was vaguely aware of Roman chuckling.

“Don’t worry, Padre,” he said casually. “Maybe those soft little tickles aren’t what Logan is looking for. Here, let me try.”

After a few more seconds, Patton pulled his fingers away from Logan’s midriff. Logan went limp in his restraints, smiling at the ceiling and mindlessly tugging at his limbs--

Roman’s hands shot down to squeeze, scratch and tickle all over Logan’s highest ribs, while his thumbs dove into his armpits and began vibrating ruthlessly into the muscle.

Loan shrieked, yanking at the restraints on his arms so hard he almost managed to scoot his body upwards a few inches. Almost.

“Uh oh!” Roman said cheerfully. “Little Logan wants to get away from the scary tickles? Little Logan can’t handle just some teensy tiny ticklies? Aw, it’s okay, Specs. You just stay there and laugh your pretty little heart out. I mean, it’s not like you have a choice.”

His words were almost completely lost to Logan. He cackled with abandon, focusing all of his energy onto wiggling the few parts of his body that weren’t restrained by anything: his head, his hands, and--

“Hey, Roman?” Virgil asked from somewhere out of Logan’s vision. “You think you can make a bunch of those bands, but really small?”

Logan gasped through his already breathless laughter, his head shaking inreasing tenfold. “Nohoho, no, Virgihihil plehehease!”

“Sure can!” Roman chirped, pausing his tickles to snap once before cheerfully diving in to Logan’s armpits again.

For a moment, Logan couldn’t tell if anything had changed, but Patton’s gasp from next to him confirmed his worst fear.

“Oh, Logi,” Patton said with delight, as his fingers once again crawled forward to tap dance on his tummy, “you’re gonna get tickled so bad.”

After a moment, Logan managed to lift his head enough to look down his body, and-- oh God. There was Virgil, sitting right by his feet, which were now adorened with ten little bands wrapped snugly around every single toe.

Logan could only babble protests, but his pleas fell on deaf ears as Virgil gently manuevered his feet until they, too, were stretched out as far as possible without being painful. Now Logan could only slightly wiggle his heels, with his bound toes keeping most of his feet perfectly still.

Virgil caught his eye and gave him a small smile. “Poor you.”

He clawed his hands down both of Logan’s soles at once before the logical side had a moment to protest. The noise that came out of Logan’s mouth made him flush even deeper, but Virgil merely gave him a smug grin.

Slowly, so slowly, Virgil repeated the clawing action, making sure to cover every single inch of Logan’s soles. He wiggled his fingers a bit when he reached Logan’s arches, and Logan screamed wordlessly with desperate laughter.

“I’d ask you to stay still,” Virgil said as he began crawling his fingers upwards again, “but I don’t think you have a choice here, huh? I know that must just kill you, but don’t worry. It’ll be okay. We’ll just sit here and play with your tickle spots until we wanna stop. You can handle that, right?”

Logan shook his head, but Roman took a second to scratch around his unprotected neck to make him snort through his laughter. “Aw, of course you can! I mean, you won’t really have a choice, you know, since you’re all vulnerable and you can’t get away. But we all know that you’d stay here anyway.”

Roman tazed into Logan’s sides, moving his hands upwards and downwards at random and making him howl before returning to his sensitive underarms. “And do you know why?”

“Because you love it!” Patton sang, squishing Logan tummy pudge all around his bellybutton. “Logi loves his tickles! His little tickly tickles! Aw, does someone want some more ticky-tickles? Yeah? You do? Of course you do, sweetie. Just lie still and let us tickle you!”

The three of them dove in again with gusto, squeezing and scratching with an awful accuracy as Logan laughed and laughed and laughed. He knew that it would only get worse from here: that after they had their initial fun, they would methodically go over every single spot on his body, tickling him in every possible place just to see his reaction. He knew there would be more teases, more awful words cooed into his ears to make him blush bright red through his laughter. He knew they’d switch up their methods just to keep him constantly guessing: Virgil tracing his feet with the softest feathers while Roman swirled makeup brushes in his armpits and Patton blew raspberries on every inch of his ticklish tummy...

They could do-- they would do-- anything and everything they wanted to do to him. And all he could do was lie there and take it.

He couldn’t wait.

[ohokimdumb]

Carlos Oliveira Headcanon (Quarantine Time) SMUT+FLUFF ❤🥵🍭

Request:  A Hc list about Carlos in quarantine with his gif- smut and fluff included. Doing my request or not tho I love your fics and they have been one of the few consistent positives in this whole pandemic crisis for me. Seriously thank you so much and I’m glad your doing what you love in in general👏🏾❤️

A/N: Thank you @fangirl1071​ for dropping in this request, I hope you love it as much as I loved writing it for you! ♥ Thank you so much for supporting my work and for the amazingly kind words ♥

Fluff:

Quarantine means you and Carlos will have more than enough time with each other. Both of you have been laid off work due to the unfortunate circumstances. The two of you act like it’s torture, being out of work. Truthfully, it’s been the time of your lives. It’s also the perfect time for Carlos to challenge you. “I challenge you to complete my entire workout routine for a month.” Carlos challenges you. He thinks it’s funny, you believe it’s torture.

There’s a lot of movie watching and hand holding on the couch or bed, whichever you two agree on. Carlos chooses scary movies to hold you tightly in his protective embrace. You are easily startled so it’s a perfect, but selfish situation to put you. He only has you watch scary movies so he can feel like he’s protecting you. It’s who Carlos is, who he’s always been.

When time seems slow, board games come in handy. The two of you tend to argue about what to play, since you both want to play what you’ll win at. The decision always happens after an intense tickle war. Occasionally, Carlos lets you win, by pretending you have the ability to overpower him. But, he does act like a sore loser. “Babe, you always want to play ‘sorry’ because you’re top tier at it.” Carlos complains and you smile at his sour, but adorable attitude.

You and Carlos will also have moments of silence in your dimly lit bedroom. Laying on the bed, Carlos pulls you into a tight embrace as you both lay in silence. It’s the perfect time to contemplate life and why it’s on this path of struggle and horror. Sometimes you grow emotional at the thought of getting sick, or getting Carlos sick. Carlos knows when you’re distressed and immediately comforts you; pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “We’re in this together. No matter what happens, or what odds we face...it’s you and me.”

Mini-Fluff:

Snuggle showers; lots of hugging and hot water. Carlos strokes his fingertips up and down your broke as a sign of comfort.

Making dinner together every night. Carlos finally decides to share his family recipes with you; Frango a Passarinho, Pastel de Queijo, and his grandmother’s famous Sopa de Milho Verde.

Carlos letting you practice hairstyles on him. Only if you agree to give him professional head scratches after. (if you’re really nice, he might let you put his hair in a man-bun)

Smut:

Quarantine has Carlos craving more than your kisses and the soft touch of your fingers twirling in his long, fluffy locks of hair. He wants to taste every piece of your body; from your breasts all the way to your ankles. He’s been so fixated on the lips between your thighs. Carlos loves the salty taste you have, and will do anything to feel your delicious saltiness on his tongue again. “Baby, please...I want to taste you again, I’ll do anything.” Carlos wraps two fingers around the side of your panties, awaiting your approval. You giggle at his adorable desperation to have you once more.

There have been a couple petty arguments between the two of you; verbal fights that make no sense. There is no shame in angry sex, and Carlos certainly lets out all of his emotions as he bends you over and fucks you doggy style. Even after he’s done teaching you a lesson, you are given a few loves spankings for talking back. It’s refreshing to see the dominant side of your protective teddy bear. “Is your butt sore?” Carlos smirks as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. You nod and his inner demon is satisfied with its work.

“Carlos, d-don’t stop...I’ve been good.” You beg as your nails dig deep into Carlos’ sweaty back, bouncing up and down as his cock roughly buries itself inside. Carlos huffs at your plea for more; desperate for him to fuck you into beautiful oblivion. “Good enough for me to cum inside?” Carlos asks you. You whimper in response as your walls intensely tighten around his throbbing cock soaking in your salty cum.

Carlos gently pushes you face-forward against the glass shower door, as he rubs his cock in between your cheeks. You gasp as you feel his excessively large member poke against your entrance. Carlos isn’t typically one to tease you, but constantly being stuck inside the house has him trying out new methods of pleasuring you. He sucks and nibbles all around your neck and upper back. Every so often his bites will be rough and painful, but it’s all in good fun; and he’s always been a man to mark his territory. Currently, you aren’t working...so Carlos can mark you wherever he wants.

Mini-Smut:

When quarantine first starts, your body is ready to be fucked and and used in ways you’ve dreamed of. Carlos tries all types of positions with you for an extremely long period of time; hours. By the end, there are love bites, bruises, and scratches on both of you. Carlos can’t get enough of you, and refuses to let you out of bed.

As quarantine keeps extending, your body has become exhausted and you’ve grown weak. Carlos can tell, and he’s okay with being gentle and caressing your body in ways no other man can. As much as he loves to hear you scream and holler his name as he fucks you passionately until the neighbors file a complaint, he also craves gentle, loving intimacy with you.

Dirty talk...

“Say it...” Carlos growls in your ear. “I’m yours...no one can protect me like you...” You moan as Carlos deeply thrusts inside while he holds your hand tightly in his; letting you know you’re safe with him.

“How bad do you want to be filled up, meu amor.” Carlos harshly bites down on your neck, surely drawing blood from the sheer passion coursing through his veins. You can’t even respond from the delicious pain your nerves are expressing.

[eutxrpe]

counter

hello! i hope you guys enjoy this fic and that you’re doing well! my inbox and messages are open, so don’t be afraid to send something in! - xio ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ counter   -a play where the offense runs the ball in the opposite direction that the defense expects. usually preceded by a fake in the opposite direction of the actual play.-

pairing: football player!midoriya x nerd!reader

word count: 2.2k words

warning: swearing, fluff ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ you didn’t want to be here.

here at this party where sweaty bodies moved on the floor as if they do that every night. where lips and skin met in a drunken haze and where the bass pounds so loud that you’re getting a worse headache by the minute. brought here by your friend and promptly left alone because they spotted the love of their life, you just wanted to curl up with a blanket and a book. preferably away from all of these people who didn’t even know you were alive.

sitting down in the corner, you look down at your red solo cup filled with water and look up at the sound of a dozen boys chanting across the room. your eyes scan the scene as you think about an escape plan but stop when you see him.

everything around you and him seems to blur except for him. you know who he is, the running back of u.a high’s football team.

izuku midoriya. or deku, as it was printed in every newspaper, social media post, and jersey he had. with his always overgrown, dyed green (you had a feeling his natural hair was black) undercut and innocent smile, everyone just loved him.

he finishes a solo cup filled with whatever popular people like to have in their cup and slams it down on the table, his teammates smacking him on the shoulder and back as he grins. izuku exchanges handshakes and claps with everyone on his team, going around the table and even ruffling a fiery, blonde guy’s hair. in the midst, you two lock eyes.

you immediately look down at your cup, sipping it in an effort to calm yourself down. out of the corner of your eye, you see him searching if there’s anyone with you and excuses himself from the group. there’s a figure in front of you in seconds and you crane your head up to look at him, cursing his height.

“hey, are you okay? i noticed that you’re here alone.” there’s honesty in his eyes that made you fall the slightest bit into the calm jade of them.

“you don’t have to worry about me, golden boy. enjoy your party and your drinking.” ignoring your words, he sits in the corner next to you, bumping his thigh with yours. 

“tomorrow’s homecoming. i’ve been drinking lemonade and water tonight.” midoriya holds up another cup and you snort at his good boy act, tapping the rim of it with your own drink. you take a gulp of it, trying to get the heat from your face to leave. “why are you here?”

“what? i can’t enjoy a party?” midoriya frowns at your response as if you hadn’t just started your first conversation with one another.

“you’re not really enjoying denki’s party. or you’re dancing in the corner and i hadn’t noticed?” you laugh into your cup at that, continuing to listen. “this doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

humming, you turn to his earnest eyes. “and why not?”

“(y/l/n). i know you’d rather be drinking hot chocolate and reading a book.” your eyes widened, and he grins in victory. curse that innocent smile of his.

“how did you know that?”

“i pay attention to the people in the school. that includes you.” he flushes as he says this, taking a sip of his own drink.

“i’m here because my best friend left me to see todoroki. and maybe do more than that.” you chuckle bitterly. “what about you, midoriya? why are you at kaminari’s place?”

“he’s my teammate, and i want to support him. but this isn’t where i’d like to be either.” you turn toward him in surprise when midoriya finishes.

“golden boy doesn’t like parties? that’s something new.” he scratches the back of his neck, blushing at your statement, but his eyes change a little when he smiles sheepishly. they’re still the beautiful jade hue, but there’s a little less innocence in them.

“why do you call me golden boy?”

“isn’t it obvious? you’re a football player with a perfect track record and everyone loves you. the school’s golden boy who wouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary.” midoriya makes full eye contact with you, his big, pure eyes not matching the playful grin on his face. his freckles stand out against his tanned skin, sunkissed from all of the hours in the sun for football practice.

“i’d like to think of myself as a wild card... since being a running back requires a lot of different things from me.” midoriya seems more confident, taking up more space in the corner as he says this. you gulp at how he overpowers and towers over you, but you still can’t believe his words.

“yeah?” looking him in the eyes with all of the determination you have, you poke him gently on the shoulder with your finger. “what can you do that proves that you’re not what i think you are, golden boy?”

you calling him golden boy again sparks something in him, eyes racing across your face and landing on your lips, the bottom one in a pout, a habit you never got over since childhood. midoriya leans forward and kisses you, and your heart finds a race horse and runs rampant. his hands capture your waist, and yours land in his hair.

now, you’ve never seen your football team play, much preferring quiet time to the crowd’s headache-inducing cheers, but you imagine that deku plays just how he kisses.

fast. passionate. there’s a hint of roughness that makes your head spin as his lips dominate yours. he tugs at your bottom lip, making you whine before retreating.

wiping his bottom lip with his thumb, he smirks at you and damn, you no longer regretted coming to this party. “was that evidence enough, (y/n)?”

before you could answer, the blonde that got his hair ruffled by midoriya comes up to you two.

“deku, we need to leave if we want to be the fuckin’ best for the homecoming game.” he sneers, looking at you two, specifically izuku’s swollen lips. “finally got a kiss, you fucking loser? ha, c’mon, we’re going now.”

“kacchan, you bitch.” there wasn't any bite to his words, and the way that the two grinned at each other made it obvious that they were close. midoriya kisses your forehead softly, contrasting with how rough of a kisser he actually was to your surprise and delight. “i’ll see you soon, okay? have a safe night.” 

and with that, he disappears into the crowd and the door-slamming, thanks to the blonde, signals that they both left.

how loud the party was didn’t apply to you anymore. not with deku’s words replaying in your mind. 

i’ll see you soon.

did he really mean that? and how would you two even see each other, considering that you’re in two different cliches at school?

and as you waited for your bestie to come out of that room, preferably without visible marks todoroki gave them, izuku midoriya was all you could think about.

maybe parties weren’t so bad... ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“kacchan?”

“what is it, deku?”

“i need you to find out where this student’s locker is for me… by morning.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“did you enjoy the party last night? i know i forced you to go…” your best friend, in a turtleneck that wasn’t theirs, chats with you as you walk to your locker. 

“yes. i know you forced me to go, because i didn’t enjoy it for the most part.” you don’t blame them for forcing you to go, considering how much of a homebody you are, but they quirk an eyebrow at your words.

“for the most part? what happened? did you meet somebody? is that why you looked so dazed when i met you afterwards?” used to their questions, you look down at your lock, twisting it open and frowning at the scratch marks on it.

“yes, for the most part. i’ll explain later. yes. y-”

a gasp at your side makes you snap your head up as you’re inspecting the freshly made marks.

on a shelf in your locker, there’s a bunch of your favorite candy and snacks in u.a high’s school colors, along with a note that you take into your hands. of course, the school spirit made it obvious who it was from, but the golden boy of the school wouldn’t break into your locker, so what exactly happened?

your best friend takes the note before you could read it, clearing their throat before reading it out loud.

“dear (y/n), -on a first name basis already, hmm?-

i hope you don’t mind that kacchan (number 1 on the team) mutilated your lock, so i could get in. like i said, i pay attention to the students at our school, especially the ones that i like. a lot. i hope you enjoy the snacks whenever, and if you turn around, there’s an important question i’d love to ask you.

signed, your golden boy!”

when you turn around, there’s deku, holding a teddy bear that’s bigger than both of you that has a blue and white ribbon tied around its neck, standing right in front of you. his eyes are tearing up, and he holds the bear out to you as he asks, “will you go out with me?”

you didn’t have to think about the question.

“yes, golden boy. i’ll go out with you.” as you answer, you take the bear from his hands and kiss his bright pink cheek in thanks. izuku picks you up suddenly, making you drop the teddy bear, and spins you around in a hug, elated with the fact that you said yes. he quickly sets out you down, sensing your surprise and apologizes. your best friend snickers in the background, and you have the urge to tell them to shut up. before you could do anything, the bell rings, and the hallway clears out, including them. you turn back to your locker, getting your books and notebook for social studies.

“wait! (y/n)!” you face him, intrigued on what else he could ask after such a way of asking you out. “you don’t have to do this… but will you wear my jacket to the game today?”

you didn’t have plans to head to the homecoming game, but you couldn’t say no to your golden boy’s face. nodding, his face lights up, and wow, his smile is radiant when he’s happy. taking off his letterman jacket to reveal a muscle shirt that reads ‘loose top’, he hands it to you. maneuvering your books so you could get it on, izuku moves to your backside, helping you get your arms into the holes. you are enveloped in the scent of rain, mint, and cotton. it was relaxing. it was so distinctly izuku.

“thank you, izuku.” at the use of his first name, his face turns even more pink. afraid of stammering out a reply, he kisses your forehead in goodbye, and the press of his plush lips against your skin makes you fall just a bit further for him. deku jogs off as the late bell rings, bringing you back to reality. ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ it’s the last ten seconds of the game, and it’s the first time you’ve cared about the outcome of a football game in a long time. you hug izuku’s jacket closer to your figure as u.a sets out on the field after a timeout. looking out in the crowd, izuku makes eye contact with you in the stands and places his hand on his heart. 

the whistle blows, and you cheer louder than you’ve cheered the whole game. the ball moves from one pair of arms to the other and it lands in izuku’s arms. the announcer is practically screaming into the mic, reenacting the surprise play.

“u.a high just performed a counter against shiketsu! after receiving the ball from the quarterback, kirishima, number nine, deku, is lightning out there, already halfway to the goal line! nobody can touch him as he gets closer!... and he’s done it! u.a wins the homecoming game!”

there’s chaos around you as people scream for the team and hug in the stands. you can see izuku remove his helmet to wipe tears from his face as he hugs his teammates. you lock eyes again and with teary eyes, he still managed to send you one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen from him.

and you’re filled with such energy that you don’t care anymore, you rush from out of the stands and onto the field, running to wrap your arms around him in a hug. tossing his helmet to the ground, you can feel his arms tug you impossibly closer to him. his hands pick you up by your waist and you put your forehead against his, both of you laughing and crying in a haze. you can hear the chants of the crowd to kiss and feel the field lights on you, but it didn’t matter when you were so close to izuku that your breaths were practically one.

was it possible for love to blossom in one day? 

you couldn’t bring yourself to care about that question when it was so obvious that it was with him.

you tug him by his jersey into a kiss, passionate and loud. it was a blissful moment, everything fading away except the two of you until you had to inevitably pull away for air.

“i love you,” izuku pants, adrenaline fading away and you smile in his arms.

“i love you too.”

you weren’t expecting any of this, especially the fact that izuku managed to win both the homecoming game and your heart with just a counter.

fin.

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)