#I mean Amy’s a teen either way

[zahri-melitor]

(Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld Annual #1)

Ahhh, 1980s. Where the answer to ‘Is this age situation a little weird?’ Is a resounding nah.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at someone, making them cry, and indirectly making them loose their friends

This happened several years ago but it plays on my mind sometimes. Everyone in this story is 15/16 at the time, in our last year at secondary school, UK. (🏎️ for finding this)

Myself, my girlfriend at the time [F], my best friend [B], F's friend [D], and a few of our other mutual friends were hanging out at lunch break. There aren't enough chairs at the table so F and I leave to go get extra. I come back and nothing seems amis.

Adding in some context now. No one in this story is cishet. We were all painfully awkward queer teens who haven't figured ourselves out yet. So we were all bottom of the social ladder, very much 'losers'. Me and F were, to my knowledge, the only 'same sex' couple in school. So by this point I'm used to people constantly making remarks about our relationship, but that's usually from ppl I didn't know or care about.

D is the only person, at this point, at school who's openly trans and genderqueer. They got a lot of hate for it. A lot of people harassed them and they didn't have many friends. I think for transparency's sake I have to say, I didn't really like D, we just didn't jell, but I made an effort to be kind and include them bc it's hard being queer in secondary school and I'm not gonna add more hate to that when me not getting on with them was my issue not theirs. And as a fellow victim of bullying I wasn't gonna exclude them from our friend group

Back to the story. As soon as we're back in classes, B tells me that D leant over to them while me and F were gone and said that it's "so sad seeing A and [OP] together" because "I took F's first kiss" and "poor [OP]". I trusted B's word on this as at that point we'd been best friends for several years, they weren't a shit stirrer, and had no reason to lie. In fact, they were confused D even said that to them since they were barely friends and knew B was best friends with me and would tell me they said that.

Hearing this really annoyed me. While I knew F and D had dated in the past, that didn't and shouldn't have effected mine and F's relationship in any way. And they'd been broken up well before I knew either of them. It's none of D's business who F kisses, and it's a shitty idea that because they'd dated before their later relationship first didn't mean as much. It felt very much like a dick thing to think never mind say about me and F. Also, B was my best friend, who did D get off to shit talking me to my best friend?

Anyway. Usually at the end of the day, several of us walked home together, and this group included D. I get to the spot we usually wait first and when I see D I confront them. I ask them why they'd say that and if they've got a problem with me. They don't deny saying it or really explain themself at all, they just look guilty. At first I kept calm. I knew D was F's friend and I didn't want to put a wedge in their friendship because of any issue I had with D. But, I keep asking why they did that, and if they've got something against me. If they're gonna shit talk me yanno. Then D starts crying.

I know it probably shouldn't have but this made me really mad. So I start yelling at them, saying something along the lines of 'so you're going to be an asshole to me and then you're gonna start crying?' and 'you started this, why are you crying?'. They start saying something along the lines of 'I didn't mean it like that' so I ask how did you mean it? And that they knew it wasn't something fine to say, because they said it behind my back and not to my face.

By this point, other people are watching, some of which were our mutual friends. I keep demanding they explain themself or at least apologize to me, but instead they run off crying. I don't follow them. If they're going to remove themself from the situation then fine.

People start asking what the hell that was about and I explain briefly to the people I knew and told the people I didn't to mind their own business. Someone I don't know tells me Ds gone to the head of year and I tell them I don't care, let them, I didn't do anything wrong. (This later amounts to nothing as no teacher ever comes to speak to me about this, so I doubt D did go to the head of year at all)

Eventually the people who were curious about what happened leave. All of the group who walk home together show up, including F. I explain to F what happened and they're upset that D said that about me, but wasn't happy to hear that D left crying.

For the rest of the school year, D ends up avoiding me. Literally staying out of my way, moving if I even glanced over at them. I thought they were overreacting. I never threatened them, and they were the one who chose to be an asshole first. I felt they were making this much more than it needed to be by avoiding it all together. We barely had an argument before they left, but anyone would have thought I'd attacked them or something. But because I obviously was always around F, D didn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. F was their only real friend and their other sort of friends were in our friend group.

No one told them they couldn't hang out with us anymore. (I'm pretty sure because they started avoiding me, I never ended up speaking to them again.) I know they still spoke to F still, but it seemed like their friendship was heavily damaged by it all.

D later ended up dropping out and finishing the school year through home schooling. I believe this was in large part due to the harassment they got for being genderqueer openly. (I remember on several occasions standing up for D and telling people to stop being transphobic assholes behind Ds back after this argument happened. Just because we didn't get along doesn't mean was gonna let that shit slide.)

I feel like I could be the asshole because due to this whole situation, D stopped hanging around their friends and through that lost a lot of the support they had. And obviously, I did make them cry.

On the other hand, no one stopped them from hanging out with their friends. They chose to avoid me and the situation. A situation they started by being a dick to me with zero provoking. They never apologized or recanted what they said. It's hard to feel bad that they lost their friends because they were being a shitty friend

Luckily, from what I know from friends of friends, D is doing better now and is around ppl who support them

This got a lot longer than I wanted but I believe I got all the details in there.

So, wita?

What are these acronyms?

[merlin-slut]

all the different arthurian legend related books ive read

so these are just books ive read that are either based in on the original stories or reincarnation related!! i have no ranking system so this is just based on vibes and is mostly in the order of when i read them, with the most recent at the top (except for the mary stewart series but im just very passionate about it lmao)

The Arthurian Saga by Mary Stewart: SO GOOD i loved it so much it was amazing HIGHLY recommend!!! it was more historically based and is so so so so so well done!! i read this about a year ago and im already thinking of rereading it!! the first book, the crystal cave, focuses on merlin growing up and learning about his visions! it covers up until arthur being conceived. it was SO GOOD and i desperately want to watch the cursed looking tv show based off of it!!

The Once and Future King by T.H. White (this included the Book of Merlyn): there was something about this i didnt quite vibe with. like i mean it was pretty good until the book of merlyn so maybe just skip that and leave it incomplete lmao definitely had more of the whimsical vibe attached to the legends, as its what the disney the sword in the stone is based off of. so, i would say it was only so-so for me

The Other Merlin by Robyn Schneider: okay so i was tricked into reading this by tiktok because i saw the author saying it was waaaaaaaaaay more gay than it was and very merthur inspired and please dont read it if you think thats the case. it does have some interesting concepts about sexism in magic (though not entirely in the way you think) and focuses on the merlin you're thinking of's children. it was alright on its own, as long as you separate it out from bbc Merlin. the advertising of the book skewed my perception about what it would be. so yeah, its not the best but its still a fun story!

Camelot Rising series by Kiersten White: ooooooooo these ones were fun!! its told from Guinevere's point of view but it isn't actually Guinevere!! she's a changeling who was sent to Camelot to marry Arthur and was told she would be his protector from something working to destroy what he was building! it was interesting and so fun to be in guinevere's mind while she tried to figure out who she is and what is trying to destroy camelot!! so fun!!

The Dragon's Call by Simon Forward: honestly no notes! so fun! its a retelling of episode 1 with some added details!!!! excellenttttttttttt

Gwen and Art Aren't in Love by Lex Croucher: ooooooo this one was fun too!! and is actually queer as advertised!!! so gwen and art HATE each other until they discover that they're both gay and decide on an alliance to help each other out and protect themselves!! so yes!!! actually gay!!!!! however i do think so bits were a bit slow and so it def couldve been paced a lot better but overall, wasnt bad!

Potions and Poison by Jacqueline Rayner: again another book thats a retelling of the show!!! it covered s1 e3 and 4! and is part of the younger readers collection so it def was written for young audience but it had some full illustrations and was still fun to read!!!

Once & Future by Amy Rose Capetta and Cory McCarthy: sooooooo I read book 1 but have not read the sequel! its set in space, in the future, and Ari is the 42nd reincarnation of King Arthur. so yeah, its a little different lmao. this one is also fun with ari discovering who she is, both as a reincarnation of king arthur, and with her queer identity! she meets a teen merlin, who, like in white's the once and future king, is aging in reverse, so it creates some fun dynamics! I read this one over a year ago so the details are a little fuzzy but i remember liking it, although some bits were slightly confusing i think??? i remember them trying to take down an evil government and ari being an illegal immigrant! so maybe i should reread this and then read book two?????

Avalon High by Meg Cabot: so yeah this is what that dcom is based off of but the book is pretty different!! i feel like the book is more stereotypical in the way arthurian legend retellings go, especially compared to the movie! still it was a fun and very fast read!! very like YA style book though, but its meg cabot so its to be expected and very much a 2005 book!

i think this is all of them???????? but im going to list what's on my tbr and if yall have an recs PLEASE send them my way!!!

the rest of the bbc merlin episode retellings

le morte d'arthur by thomas malory

bliss and blunder by victoria gosling

sir gawain and the green knight (are there any specific version recs???)

the fall of arthur by j.r.r. tolkien

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you so much for the tag lovely and brilliant @goodways @louis-ii-reyes-strand @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @orchidscript @whatsintheboxmh 🧡

'Chapter 6: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor' of Where All This Love Comes From will be up on Sunday, and I'm excited! Here, our heroes are about to have another important chat:

Behind the counter, Mandy fiddles with a switch that dims the lights, softening the place now the evening has shifted into true-black night. TK turns to his right, sees their reflections in the dark window appear near-sepia. It’s like he’s watching old, rickety footage of them having this present conversation in the past. Late visits to retro diners will make time feel peculiar. Elastic, electric, glitchy. The big window could be an old TV screen about to blink on and fill with static fuzz.

"He made me eat an entire loaf of bread before mom got home,” Carlos says. “Then I had three Pop-Tarts. Kind of worked wonders."

TK peels away from the window, facing his husband in all his vividness of burgundy sweater, gold-brown skin, black hair, deep brown eyes slightly honeyed in the softer light. "So, your mom never knew?"

"Never. Not to this day." Carlos swings his head and bows it in shame. He faces the pure creamy surface of the table, tapping his finger nervously over the laminate. "And maybe that's why I never told you, either.” He flicks his eyes up for a second. “Because it was just between me and Dad. Our secret."

"I know what you mean."

"It mattered to me. I felt exhilarated in a weird way, even though it was bad."

“Carlos. Look at me.”

Carlos doesn’t. He appears fascinated by the plain, dull table.

“Your dad saw some pretty worrying texts from both Michelle and Iris, and he just…ignored them? He gave you your phone back, like there was nothing going on?”

“Yep,” Carlos says hurriedly. "Probably thought it was some dumb teen drama. Anyway, I didn't get drunk again until I was twenty-one. I don’t know if you ever noticed, but I never drank tequila straight–"

“Oh. Yeah. You’d always have it in a cocktail, if you have it–”

“–until you and I broke up,” Carlos says definitively.  

The words ‘you and I broke up’ go through TK like he’s a hollow frame of a man. “Jesus.”

“I got shit-faced.”

These words catch TK in a different way. It’s morbid, but he laughs. His husband doesn’t usually sound so uncouth in public. “Want to talk about that?”

“Don’t know.”

“Come on.”

Tags below! & open!

Tagging with love: @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @eclectic-sassycoweyes @lightningboltreader @thisbuildinghasfeelings @reyesstrand @welcometololaland @bonheur-cafe @paperstorm @strandnreyes @liminalmemories21 @ladytessa74 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @fitzherbertssmolder @noxsoulmate @chaotictarlos @chicgeekgirl89 @taralaurel @carlos-tk @wandering-night19 @inkweedandlizards @jesuisici33 @three-drink-amy @redshirt2 @mikibwrites @herefortarlos @sugdenlovesdingle @freneticfloetry @theghostofashton @sanjuwrites @never-blooms @rmd-writes - if you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[leornadodabvinci]

Hello! Do you have any other Grand Chase headcanons to share on this fine day? 👁️👁️

HI HELLO YES I DO OMGGG SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE I DIDN’T OPEN TUMBLR FOR A BIT BUT I HAVE A DISCORD SERVER FOR KEEPING NOTES OF STUFF AND ONE CHANNEL IS JUST DEDICATED TO RANDOM HCS AND SO UM. I have a few (that would make sense without an elaborate explanation)👉👈 they’re mostly if not all elesis and sieghart though ahahah�� ANYWYA

*takes a deep breath*

(Sorry if the terminologies aren’t right im just rambling skhdjsj) (also a lot of them are sieg and elesis aha…)

- Sieghart currently is built like a dancer, lithe and flexible, because of the extra innate godlike strength he got from being a highlander. He doesn’t have to exert as much strength as when he was just a mortal, or like the weight doesn’t affect him that much anymore? Plus, i hc that the highlanders’ style is more elegant and flow-y, compared to the brutishness of the sieghart family’s. When he was younger, around Elesis’ age, he was built more like her. Body builder, bigger muscle kinda look.

- Elesis, as she grows into her late 20’s receives sooooo many “you look just like Sieghart!” Or “you look just like your father!” Comments, but as she grows past 30 and 40, they die down. Because sieghart is stuck in his 30’s, and elscud died (? Disappeared?) in his 40’s.

- sieghart is a jack of all trades, master of none kinda guy.

- Dio and Sieghart have a strange way of being intimate. It isn’t really… intimacy. They don’t do pda, they do something more nothingburger and subtle that it feels more vulgar if you catch them doing it. Its like a game? But not really? Since they’re not trying to hide it either 😭 i don’t know how to describe it. Like the Chase could be in a meeting together and Sieghart/Dio is eating something and one of them goes “blech” and instead of eating the food, they try it from the other’s mouth and then is like “oh ew ur right omg” and then the chase woukd just stare at them.

- dio and sieg are truly, evenly matched in skill. Its a battle of attrition. Though probably sieg has the upper hand since he’s immortal?

- dio’s actually also playboy, just not in mortal sense. He takes up someone every 5 - 10 years, which i hc is the equivalent of changing gfs/bfs every couple of months in demon sense of time. He tries to mean well though, and doesn’t do one night stands.

- sieghart is a one night stand enthusiast. He’s a total flirt too.

- height hc: dio > sieg > zero > ley > grandiel > werner > (noticeable drop) > ryan > lire > jin > rufus > harpe > ronan > asin > lass > edel > rin > elesis > amy > (big drop here) > arme > lime > veigas

- Elesis is a doof and lowkey rich girl coded. “How much is an apple anyway? Like $10?”

- the Chase act more like childish, more their age (more carefree, unburdened, yknow young adults/teens) around Sieghart.

- lass and rufus have the same eye shape. They both take after their mother more.

- Grandiel finds Sieghart to be the best company. They both understand each other very well, and seamlessly fall into conversation no matter how long its been since they last met.

- that’s why when Sieghart found out who Kyle and Cindy was, it stung a little. But he understood, of course. He holds no grudge against Grandiel.

- Sieghart acts like a safeguard for the Chase. He doesn’t want any of them to go through any of this alone.

- Ley, Rin and Sieghart are besties. Wine date trio.

- Lime and Dio also unexpectedly get along well. They’re optimistic people. Two sides of the same coin.

- Rufus cares about Lass more than he thinks. When Lass gets sick, he most definitely appears and lingers around until he gets better.

Okaay i think thats itttt hehe :3 Thank you for this ask I definitely enjoyed it LOL

[idontplaytrack]

✧ Tough

Rosa Diaz x teen daughter! reader

Warnings: none?

In which, Rosa comes down with a cold and the squad shoos her home but she refuses- so reader comes to the rescue

“You look like hell, Rosa.”

“I’m fine.” Rosa spat.

“No, you are not.” Jake continues. Rosa only rolled her eyes before resuming her work. “Lieu, would you please tell her she looks like crap.”

Jeffords turned around and said, “You look like crap.”

“I’m working.”

“You’re sick. Literally not one of us have seen you this pale.” Terry continues.

“At least take this.” Charles put a pill on her desk- an antihistamine.

“No.”

“Ha ha.” Amy quipped, “I called your daughter.”

“Amy, are you insane? Why would you do that?” Rosa laid back in her seat, “Why would you call my daughter over this?”

“Because out of everyone you know, I know you’d listen to her.” Amy shrugged.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“No, you are not.” Amy replies calmly, “Just go home and take it easy for the rest of the day.”

“But you might want to wait for your daughter to get here.” Holt’s voice cut through the room. “I do not think it is safe for you to make your own way home. She should be here in 16 minutes. Her school has let out for the day.”

“Whaaat? Still crazy to hear that.” Jake laughs.

“Get back to work.” Terry reminded, “Rosa stop doing your work.”

“Fine, whatever.” She gave up, saving the document onto her desktop then just laid back in her chair to wait for you.

————

“Bye, Rosa.” Jake grins. Rosa grumbles, putting her jacket on while you went to press the lift button.

“You know, I love you but I don’t see how having you take a detour to go home with me will keep either of us safer.”

“Okay, but it did shut them up, didn’t it?”

Rosa chuckles, “Didn’t you have something on?”

“I did. But I decided not to go.”

“I’m a little afraid to ask, but why?”

“That’s a problem for another day. You just focus on resting today.” You told her.

“y/n.” She warned.

“The guy’s a douchebag.” You gave in, “Apparently he orders the most expensive thing on the menu then makes his date pay every time. And he doesn’t exactly take no for an answer, if you get what I mean.”

“Okay, that’s good- don’t ever feel like you need to go on dates because you don’t want to cancel on people.”

“I know.” You assured, “How are you feeling?”

“Never felt this sick in 10 years.” She snorted, “But, I bounce back quick.”

“That’d be right.” You stifled a laugh, “I’ll make us some soup when we get back- and you, take a shower and get into bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She joked, “I’m tough.”

“Oh, there’s no denying that.” You put an arm around her, and you see a tiny little smile tug on her lips, “You are tough. You’re a badass.”

“I mean, so are you, y’know?” She continues.

“Barely.”

“Please, you’re my daughter. I taught you everything you know. You’re a badass too, mamita.”

“Oh, boy we need to get you into bed.”

“y/n, I’m not trying to be funny.”

“You realise none of my dates have went well so far?”

“So? It’s not your fault the people who’ve tried to take you out are jerks or you just didn’t vibe with them.”

“Maybe I’m the problem.”

“No one’s perfect but you can’t say that because I see you as you are and I can confidently say you’re a good person.” Rosa spoke tiredly, “There are plenty of people in the city. You’ll meet someone before you know it.”

“You mean it?”

“Fuck do you mean? Of course I do.” She answered straightforwardly, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Ah…I guess after three suckish dates in a row, my confidence has taken a hit. But thanks, Mom.”

The rest of your walk home was rather quiet with Rosa trying to keep warm in this chilly weather while her body temperature rose. So, once you both got home, you quickly turned the heat up so she would be more comfortable. “I’m gonna take a shower now, then I’m off to bed.”

“Good, you’d better. I’ll wake you up when the food’s done so you can eat some then take something for your fever.”

“Okay, honey.” Rosa rolled her eyes playfully, “Be careful.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I said that first.”

[dotthings]

The thing about 7.03, with Amy Pond the kitsune, is there are red flags from all sides.

Amy--There's goodness in her. She doesn't want to be a killer, to be like her mom. When they were teens, she saved Sam's life when they were teens, when her own mom tried to kill Sam, she made a massive sacrifice and killed her own mom, who was clearly murderous and wasn't attempting any kind of rehab. She finds a way to live as a conscientious kitsune. Starts killing people to save her son's life. The red flag is she makes a deliberate choice who she kills on the idea that no one would miss them, or they're bad people--making herself judge and jury over people's lives. Every one of them could be saved with the right resources, with the right help. Maybe some were terrible people beyond hope, but given the theme here about monsters can make choices, and are capable of choosing to be good, it doesn't click to say, oh but that drug dealer, or that alcoholic, deserve no second chances. I don't think the story intent is to say it's okay. The story intent is to show the red flags, the classism and flaws in Amy's reasoning. She is rationalizing things for herself. She wants to be good, she wound up in a desperate situation, did things she doesn't want to do...doesn't make it okay and she knows it but she still picks her victims in a way that shows her self-rationalizations.

Sam--I'm glad he acknowledged that he and Dean would and have also done desperate things that cross a line to save people they love. We can't just judge Amy in a simplistic way, because we've seen what all of Team Free Will are capable of too. Do they deserve to die for that? Automatically? We just got finished with an arc where Cas did a bunch of line-crossing things, desperate to save his family, as Amy is desperate to save her son. At the same time, Sam's red flag is his own quest for purity, his need to believe that with his tainted blood, he can be good, and he needs to believe Amy can be good. Plus, he is hardly objective here--he had a big crush on her as a teen, he still cares about her. He's not seeing the situation clearly. So Sam isn't a reliable narrator either.

Dean--sees through the rationalizations and on the surface it seems like he's more objective. It's not just that Amy crossed the line it's how she rationalized it. It's not that Dean doesn't understand she was doing it to save her son, but Amy still proved how dangerous she is. But here's where it gets tricky with Dean's pov--he decides there can be no second chance for Amy, that if she did those things once--to save her child--she'll do it again someday, for sure. So he kills her. He can't trust a supernatural being not to betray their good intentions. It's impossible. It can't happen. Dean may seem to be the only objective one in the room and it's tempting to say, oh he's right. And on some level he is, but I can't analyze Dean's actions without factoring in his grief and anger over Cas, how severely Cas damaged his ability to trust any supernatural being, how personal that is, how much Dean is grieving, not just Cas, but the trust he once had for Cas. He believed. He believed in Cas's goodness. The Amy-Cas parallels are right there waving its arms around begging to get noticed. It's not that Dean is wrong, or Dean doesn't have a point, or that Dean isn't justified in his wariness, but that doesn't mean Dean isn't affected by his own grief, trauma, and anger. Making a cold hard decision that isn't actually objectively.

Nobody is objective in The Girl Next Door. No one. And a whole lot of this is about how Dean is grieving Cas. There's even Dean watching a telenovella where someone is weeping over a loved one's dead body, in case we forgot the loss Dean just went through.

[kaftan]

Have yet to see you posting Worm yuris [frowns gravely] so question 1: Favorite Worm yuris and why. And 2: who’s topping who’s bottoming.

The tone of this ask is killing me dead. i HAVE posted about worm yuris! I prommy!!! Honestly, unless a love for the simmering lesboerotic vibes between most characters counts, I am not straightforwardly shippy about many of them… I hate how limiting and reductive that term is… anyway.

(Unsure if you asked about t/b headcanons because you know that I take them dead serious or because you do, but either way, well played, I’ll indulge you.)

I ship lisa and taylor very straightforwardly, that’s my number one. When it comes to pairings like these I say it’s the protag/deuterag vibes for me; i don’t know if people understand what I mean when it doesn’t apply literally, but it’s an intuitive impression. Lisa is always the person walking a step behind taylor. She’s brilliant, but she orbits — she chooses to. This is, as they say, “entirely my shit.” They’re delicious and doomed. I am of the possibly controversial opinion that subbing would melt most of lisa’s Thinker neuroses. Taylor has #thatdom in her, lowkey. And I don’t often mix up t/b and d/s headcanons, so there you go: Taylor tops.

I “ship” amy and victoria much less straightforwardly; unwanted, unrequited attraction is everything that makes them compelling. I like everything that worm canon has given me so far, and I spend so much time in the precanon sandbox… [eyes glazing over]… I like it when love is horribly unfortunate. I like it tearing people apart. I like The Family as the oppressive structure that eats itself. I like ameepy herself, to an insane extent. No one tops or bottoms because they don’t have sex.

Bonus: amy/taylor is not popular on wormblr from what I’ve seen, but their freakish sexual tension is some of my favorite lesboeroticism… it’s screamingly funny (and #real). Horrible teens who do not respect each other one bit. They could have the worst most mutually unsatisfying sex in the world… (taylor tops).

…and that’s already all my favorite characters. It’s very easy to pill me on yuri pairings within worm — one of my friends has me reading emma/taylor as we speak — I just don’t spend much time in other sandboxes myself. The pairings I think about most besides the ones I mentioned are alec/aisha (three cheers! they’re so much fun! every single Implication is nuts!) and alec/cherie; i gravitate toward dynamics that have excellent bones in worm canon + a personally compelling element, so [waves hand]. Extremely intrigued by all the victoria/lisa I’ve seen secondhand but (love and light) I am not reading ward for them. “Glory hole” lives on in legend, though.

[blueratgrmln]

🌟OPEN DISCUSSION about the 2020's era of shipping culture, Sonadow in the Sonic Fandom, and how well-intended activism can circle back to the language and violence of oppressors 🌟 (Broken down into PARTS for the sake of readability and my own attention span lol. >>>FULL ESSAY HERE<<<) (>>>PREVIOUS PART HERE<<<)

PART 6

ADDITIONAL: MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND LOGIC ABOUT SHADOW'S AGE

Most of the fandom will continue arguing about Shadow's "true age" for the rest of time and how that "should" influence people's shipping headcanons. In my opinion, it is a very unnecessary thing to argue about simply because of the uniqueness and the fantastical nature of Shadow's existence within the Sonic Universe. Very specifically, he is a test tube science project super soldier who is immortal with an unclarified "birth date."

It's most likely that Professor Gerald Robotnik started the process of creating Shadow AFTER Maria was born and they discovered her incurable disease; Project Shadow could have taken a significant amount of time to complete considering all of the scientific processes, research, and intergalactic communication needed. It is also important to remember that Maria died when she was only 12 years old. If we are just talking about the amount of time that Shadow was physically and mentally conscious, communicating, and learning (excluding the 50 years he spent in cryo-stasis), this would mean that Shadow's age could be anything up to Maria's exact age at her time of death. Realistically his youngest possible age would be much greater than 1 day, since it probably took a noteworthy amount of time for Shadow and Maria to develop their trusting best friend and/or sibling bond.

Otherwise, in the less likely scenario, Professor Gerald could've had foresight and somehow gotten confirmation about Maria's condition before she was born with the scientifically and medically advanced technology aboard the Space Colony ARK, and then completed Project Shadow before she was born. But in EITHER possible chronology, Shadow could be around the same age or a handful of years younger than 15 (one of the possible ages in this debate), if we are to consider his game manual or Wiki-page biographies for his true age. This could put the Sonadow ship in the same boat of age-gap and maturity-difference criticism that the Sonic x Amy ship gets because Sonic is 15 and Amy is 12.

Even though Shadow is one of the most complex characters within the broad Sonic Lore, at the same time he's one of the most mysterious characters, especially since we don't have any official content that shows the complete scientific/medical/technological details of his creation process from start to finish. Everyone has a different opinion whether the game manual and Wiki-page age(s) indicates Shadow's number of conscious years lived, his current physical age, or both. People also debate whether his current physical age matters in terms of shipping ethics. Considering that Shadow is an immortal science experiment with the DNA/blood of an alien species and he could have grown up in a test tube, I like to think that any of the "teen" ages used in this debate could simply describe what his physical vessel looks like (compared to 100% Mobian hedgehogs) at the point Project Shadow was deemed successfully completed. It's possible that his early development deviated from that of a human baby, a Mobian hedgehog baby, and a normal hedgehog baby. Maybe he grew generally faster or went through the same developmental stages of his Black Arms alien siblings. Deciphering what it would mean for Shadow to become "fully mature", or even what "age" in general means for him, would require solving the complex puzzle of his circumstances: the science of genetic engineering that splices Black Arms DNA with Mobian hedgehog DNA to design a being that is artificial and specifically exceptional in every way. We DO know that Shadow's Black Arms DNA gives his mind and body a connection to the species' Hive Mind (which is explored in the Archie comic books) and that Black Doom's DNA was one of the necessary ingredients to give Shadow immortality and disease immunity. But that's the extent of what we know about Shadow's Black Arms biology, its overall effects, its benefits, and its downsides. In addition to this, the "immortal artificial super soldier with alien DNA" context brings up questions regarding Shadow's mental processes, intelligence, and learning capabilities. He could have gone through rapid psychological development, or can learn and gain skills at an enhanced rate, have increased intelligence, or have alien mental capacities beyond his connection to the Black Arms' Hive Mind.

The limitless SCOPE of possibilities for Shadow's physical and mental reality is why I completely avoid any attempts at shoving this complex character into the same quantifiable boxes of human OR Mobian OR normal hedgehog maturity, development, intelligence, socialization, emotions, learning, and age. Which is why I do not judge people for their shipping preferences and don't assume the worst of the people that ship him with other characters. An integral part of the tragedy and isolation of Shadow the Hedgehog as a character surrounds him being the Ultimate Lifeform, a being that is so unique, advanced, artificial, medicalized, scientific, revolutionary, mystical and powerful that he cannot relate to most of the other Sonic characters and vice versa. TRYING to force Shadow to be 100% understandable, relatable, and quantifiable both by our real-life human standards and by the standards of the other Sonic characters can diminish his uniqueness and essence, and it hinders the broad Sonic Fandom from creatively exploring the magnitude of possibilities (both shipping and non-shipping) that his mysteriousness inspires.

(Thank you for reading and sticking with my train of thought! :) I expect constructive conversation in the comments if any are made at all, whether it's criticism or agreement.)

[shebeafancyflapjack]

A Slip Through Worlds (Part 4)

(Silver tries to plead her case, ft @idiotwithanipad 's oc Gore Amy)

-

"You should rest, fluffy friend."

Robin forced his eyes open, the pink sky of rising dawn above him. He continued to pant, chest rising and falling to regain his strength. Not even his regular Zumba groups had prepared him for this.

Laying on his back in the grass, he turned to see Moonah Girl grinning at him from where she sat, as energetic as she had the moment she woke up.

"Hehehe, can tell you're getting tired. Not even Mummy has played with me so much all night long."

He shook his head, pushing himself to sit up; "It fine. Can keep going."

"No you can't, silly, hehehe." Silver pushed him back to lie down, her palms flat on his chest; "Or you'll crumple like I do when I keep trying to go on when it's bedtime. Don't wanna finally lose that way, do ya, hahaha."

No, that would be unfair, he supposes. He's pretty sure he proved himself as reigning champion of this "bucking" game, having managed to toss Silver off in less than a minute.

The teen patted his furs; "You take a nap. I'll be okay. Mummy says sleep is the the best meal for the mindses."

That definitely sounded like a Mary-ism.

Robin struggled to hold back a yawn, "Don't wanna leave Moonah Girl alone and bored. Want to spend time with Kitty?"

Or perhaps Pat? He was probably the only other one Robin would say he trusted to look after her. Thomas and Fanny would either bore or annoy her, whereas Captain and Fanny...Enough said.

"I was thinking maybe I can go ask Mr. Humphrey if Amy is feeling better?" Silver suggested, looking a little nervous, tilting her head.

He winced.

"Maybe best give her 'nother day. Once she fit to leave room, she find you."

Silver blinked, showing little reaction.

"...You're not lying to me, are you, Mr. Robin?" She asked, so innocent that it was like a tiny icepick to his heart.

Squirming with guilt, he felt he had no choice but to go for the gaslighting option. Just for now.

"Promise, Moonah Girl. You see Stompy soon. Just wait for she to come to you."

In her dreams, just as she did every now and then. Not as often for Robin these days, more the occasional visit a couple nights a week, but he knew the two girls spent constant time meeting together at the bridge between the stars and sleeping world.

He waited for Silver to huff and cross her arms and look disappointed further with his vague answer. But instead, she kept smiling, and reached to squeeze his hand.

"I believe you. Hehehe. It's so weird. We only met last night but I feel like I've known you forever and evers!" She giggled.

His heart fluttered as she lay down on the grass beside him, using his chest as a pillow. The pain of her forgetting him was numbed slightly at that little fact. Part of her did know him, on some level, it had just become distorted with this other reality her warped mind had constructed.

Had it been to cope with the loss of Amy? Or what he told her about Mary? After Amy's visit and message from their old friend, he'd been sure the witchling's mental health was improving. For it to snap so violently, so sudden...

Robin brought his hand to her hair, stroking it gently, a little surprised he'd never noticed how many leaves were tangled in it before.

"Knew your mum. Many Moonahs ago." He tells her, delicately, "Feel know Daughter too."

"Hmm. Do you have a moody brother who grunts like a bear? Maybe that's Mummy's friend who looks after me sometimes." Silver mused; "You smell like him...and feel like him, a little. Especially here, hehe." She reached her hand around to ruffle his mane.

Robin chuckled; "Maybe he my twin."

Or, more likely, that's the closest the girl can come to remembering him. Just some...'friend' of Mary's? That stung.

"He's the bad one then, hehehe. No. Shouldn't say that. Mean Silver." She tutted; "I know he's not as mean as he pretends. He's just grumpy...and tired. And sad. Like you."

He stiffened at that.

"Ey? Me not sad..."

"You are. I can feel it." She shifted, turning to move her fingers over his face, drawing over the many lines and bumps; "Just like Mr. Floof. You have so many years of pain and loss. So many tears shed, yet no where near enough. Difference is, he let's his pain out by being angry. But you?"

She giggles and leans her head down on top of his furs, over his chest.

"You let it out by being kind. Hehehe."

He blinked, watching her, trying to make sense of her words. There was always a hidden method to the madness.

She'd saved the memory of him in her mind as being mean. Taking his own pain out on others. That wasn't him. At least...he didn't want it to be. But the hurt he instilled in her, the betrayal and heartbreak, after their last fight, must have left a crack in her heart.

So now what? She's created two Robin's in her head? The Angry One and the Kind One?

He sighed; "Sorry he mean to you. He big stupid. No listen. He talk rubbish."

"He doesn't talk. Just growls, hehehe."

Great, so he was a monster too.

"Would give him big smack in head if he here. No one ever be mean to Moonah Girl." He said, which made her laugh.

If only she remembered the impressive slap she'd given him, the one that would forever tingle like a deep set burn on his cheek.

"He maybe sorry. Know I would be, if did anything to make Moonah Girl sad."

And he was. He'd never stop trying to atone.

Silver squeezed his wrist; "I don't think you have a mean bone in your body, sweet Robin."

If she believed that, then she clearly had forgotten much about him. Maybe for the best.

-

Clap. Clap.

"Silver? Silver, wake the fuck up."

Clap. Clap.

What the...?

Her eyes were already open. She wasn't due to sleep for a while. And yet something had dragged her mind under, swaddled her in a thick cloud, and made her feel like she was dozing.

Everything was blurry before her. Two hands were clapping in front of her, each noise forcing her focus to sharpen a little.

"C'mon, you gotta get with it! We haven't got long!"

One of the hands slapped her this time. Ow!

"Sorry. Need you to snap out of it." The familiar voice explained, "I know it's disorienting as wank the first time around."

Silver only knew one voice that was prone to casually swear like that.

She blinked, dragging her mind up as if pulling herself up out of a swimming pool. Swallowing the dry, acrid taste in her throat, she turned to the owner of the hands. And the voice.

"Ames? Ames, is that really you?!" Her Amy. Her Amy who could speak, who had the foulest mouth Silver had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

But the girl with black hair and headphones knelt at her side still looked at her with bleeding eyes that seemed ready to pop out their sockets at any moment, her lips still firmly shut to contain the drink she choked.

Silver deflated, disappointed; "Oh...You're still Namy."

"Namy?"

"Not Amy. Not my Amy, I mean."

"Yeah, don't go calling me that."

Silver rubbed at her eyes, still feeling woozy, like she was having some freak out from some weed that might have been cut with something funky.

"What's happening? How can I hear you? And..." She squinted at her; "Where'd you get that badass cloak?!"

Jealousy thrummed through her as she looked upon it. The bug eyed girl had traded her hoodie for a....much longer hoodie, with electric blue trim that seemed to constantly shimmer, along with sparkling stars down the arms. Amy grinned, standing up to turn around for Silver to get a decent view.

"Pretty sick, right? It was a present from Other You. Along with the boot upgrades." She put one of her massive heels forward for Silver to appreciate the matching blue adornments; "Dragon scales, apparently."

"Wow..." She glanced around her.

Even the woods seemed different. Lights of various hues from pink to yellow to green and more seemed to hover through the air like tiny floating lamps. There seemed to be far more stars in the sky, the constellations more distinct, even the moon twice her normal size.

She'd always loved the forest at night but...this was something else. Like she'd stepped into some mythical Elven woodland.

"Am I dreaming?" She almost hopes that she is.

"Little bit. It's kinda like an intense forced daydream. Or like wearing a VR headset."

The 90s kid scoffed; "What, in the year 3000?"

"Oh, right, I forgot you're fucking ancient."

Hey! Silver threw her an offended look that made Amy chuckle, covering her mouth to stop the water spilling again.

"You telling me we're still in the woods in...your world?" Silver asked.

"'Fraid so. Try not to think too much about how we're here. I did ask Mary if I could bring you back to my room in the house for us to speak, but her magic doesn't work in there. And that clicking is bloody murder on my cheeks and throat after too much."

Mary...Silver shuddered, counting her blessings that she was, if nothing else, out of the cage.

"She's the one doing this?" Silver reached out to touch the edges of Amy's cloak.

It felt so real...

"She's...messing with my head?"

"Not the time to worry about that, mate. We've probably only got a few minutes until she intends to...interrogate you herself. Trust me, you don't want that." Amy warned.

Silver gulped, suddenly remembering the skeletal woman holding up her hand of fire.

She try to burn you...

"Hey! Stay with me." Amy clapped again, steeling her gaze; "She's giving us the chance to talk, she can't take the Mango Loco from my gob but this place does give me some telekinesis."

"Telepathy."

"Eh?"

Silver shook her head; "Telekinesis is moving stuff with your mind, telepathy is mind reading and transmitting thoughts."

"Oooh, OK, smart-ass. Not all of us are lucky to have a mum as a witch!"

"I don't." Silver said.

Amy frowned.

"My mum...Mary. She's not a witch in my world." She explained, "She was burned as one, but was falsley accused. She...hated witches, till she met me, then she changed her mind...Maybe." She sighed, wanting to believe her friend; "But my Mary was always just a woman. A sweet, funny, scatty but awesome, normal woman. Her ghost form could smell of burning and smoke...and summon fire, a little, but...nothing like this."

Magic like this was far beyond even Silver's imagination.

"If we had time, I'd give you the tour, like my Silver did to me. You basically create what you desire. It's as real as you want it to be."

So just like her lucid dreams?

She looked at her palms, then held them inches apart. Focusing, she saw the object she desired in her mind's eye, then willed it into being. Manifest. Manifest.

"Fuck...You're doing it!"

Silver opened her eyes as the rectangle shaped box fell between her hands.

"What did you make?" Amy peered closer.

She looked up, smiling, before handing the box to Amy.

"Another present."

Amy looked taken back, then gently took the small package. Her already wide eyes almost burst out as she read the words on the front.

"Mayfair Sky Blue?! How the fuck?!" She looked at Silver as if she'd fallen from Heaven.

"Hoped you and my Amy liked the same brand." The Pagan grinned; "Oh wait, shit, your mouth-."

"It's fine!" She took one cigarette out and ran it beneath her nose, inhaling it like a line of coke.

"Oh, you can still smell too?"

"No. But this place has simulated taste buds. Closest as I can get, I'm taking the hit. Fuck, I've never thought to summon these before." She smirked, sitting cross legged beside Silver. "No Zippo on me but I wonder if I visit the dragons, one of them will..."

She turned her head just as Silver was staring at her.

"What? What you looking at me like that for? You got a problem with the gross eyes of mine?! Cause trust me, they ain't fun for-."

Silver threw her arms around Amy's neck.

"Shit!"

"Sorry. I know you're funny about hugs. I just...Just needed to do this."

She wouldn't attempt to explain why it had been so long since she'd hugged Her Amy.

Namy deflated, giving her back an awkward pat.

"All right, Luna Lovegood, calm down. At least you're a bit more aware of personal space than my Silv." She gently pushed her back, but gave her hand a squeeze; "Like I said, her mum won't give us much time and we've already wasted it chatting shit and you giving me my fags."

"Definitely nothing wasted there." Silver sniffed, fighting back tears.

Amy's cheeks flushed, just a little.

"Okay, Soppy Bitch. Start from the beginning. What do you remember about how you got here?"

Silver explained what little there was to explain.

She went to sleep as the moon began to wane ("Same as my Silv then.") and was having her usual lucid dreams ("Again, same as our witchling."). She remembered hearing voices calling to her from the shadows, mystery tempting her to discover lost secrets, and then someone calling her name.

Mary. Her mum.

"That's what doesn't make sense to me." Silver grimaced; "She keeps accusing me of being a Siren, but she's the one who called out to me! I ran to her because I thought she was my Mary! If I knew I was gonna wake up in some twisted version of my world, I wouldn't have gone near her. I didn't wanna steal anyone's place or whatever."

"Guessing she thought you were her Silver. She wasn't trying to kidnap you or anything." Amy rolled her eyes; "Just one big cosmic misunderstanding."

"Try telling her that. She's off her rocker and out for my blood."

"She ain't that bad..." At Silver's doubtful look, Amy clarified; "Okay, she's a little psychotic when it comes to her kid. I mean I wasn't exactly her favorite person to start with either. But overprotective parents are kind of a staple of this place."

The Wiccan watched Amy take another long sniff of her cigarette.

"You have your own Humphrey here too? Is he...anything like them?" She meant both Nary and Nobin.

Amy shrugged; "Depends. His head - gonna assume yours is in two pieces as well - is mostly just paranoid and worrisome, treats me like I'm twelve, is convinced that his ex who he believes is my mum is gonna return at any moment. But aside from that...he's kinda sweet. But then you've got his body, which treats me like I'm five and goes on a rampage if I'm more than a dozen feet away for too long. Why, what's your Humphrey like?"

"Honestly? About the same." Silver laughed and Amy joined in, drops of Monster spluttering from her lips. "...It's just...really cool that you two still have each other here."

Not Amy frowned.

"What d'you mean 'still'?"

Silver was saved from having to explain that one by the sound of a tremendous roar. The girls looked up to see a great set of leathery wings through the treetops, along with a long, spiky tail.

"Holy shit! Is that a dragon?!"

"Yeah, that's Fiona. Hey! Hey, Fi! I need you to light my cig for me!" Amy tried to call out but the dragon flew on, ignoring her; "Bitch."

Silver laughed, "Oh wow. I told my Amy that I had dreams about us riding dragons together. That's insane."

Amy's brow creased up.

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, just...You reminded me of a theory that my Silver had." Namy mused; "She was rambling on about how she's practicing astral projection and lucid dreaming. She reckoned that dreams were like...How did she put it? Windows into other worlds? Maybe you dreaming about dragons was you seeing us." The teen shrugged; "Just a thought."

A penny dropped in Silver's head at that.

"....What else did she tell you about astral projection?" She asked, getting a very uneasy feeling.

"Uhm...Just that she wanted to travel up there and explore as far as she could. But sometimes she'd come to this wall she could never quite get past. She was determined to break through it, but her mum kept saying it was too dangerous..."

"A wall as in...between universes?"

Amy's eyes locked with her own as the realisation hit her.

"Holy fuckity shitballs. The mad bitch did it."

Silver felt the breath leave her. It wasn't her fault.

Relief swirled amidst existential terror. She hadn't done this, it was...the other Silver. She somehow got past this great barrier and Mary must have come looking for her daughter only to accidentally lure the wrong Silver, who also happened to be sleeping-

"Enough!" The voice of the wraith sliced through their peaceful scene.

Silver's head felt jerked, forward and back, as the illusion dissolved. The dragon and fae lights vanished. Back in the normal woods close to Button House, Namy was left sat in her regular hoodie and sniffing her empty hand.

Her expression read as 'fuck reality'.

A long, snaky arm of smoke grabbed Silver by the shoulder and hauled her to her feet. In a heartbeat, she was back to facing the monstrous form of this world's Mary Guppy, continuing to glare at her with pure hatred.

"Mine ears hath heard all they needs." She sneered.

Amy tried to defend her, only to hurl up more of her energy drink before remembering she couldn't speak. Then she hummed and tried to sign, desperate.

"Of course you believes her. She did tempt you with your noxious tobacco sticks." Mary dismissed; "But I shall determine the full truths of this ones heart."

Silver shuddered, "I told her everything, I swear. It was the truth."

"You accuse my darling girl of meddling with forces beyond her ken! She woulds never leave me! Not my Silver!"

She raised her bony hand, whisps of charcoal mist dancing around her fingers, merging into a long, pointed speartip.

"I shoulds haves done this from the start. I shall dig the truth from thee, pretty beast. Let's see how honest you were with young Amy."

Fuck. What was she gonna do?! Was it going to hurt?

She looked to Amy, who seemed to be gesturing for her to stay calm. She clicked as she did the most basic of signs.

NO FIGHT.

LET HER SEE.

Tears stung in Silver's eyes before she turned back to face the burned witch. She had no idea how this was going to feel or if it would make this Mary feel any kinder towards her...but at least she would see the truth.

She closed her eyes, just as something sharp struck through her cranium. Silver screamed as the world went dark.

[tinybitsubby]

@amysubmits asked this question in the comments of a previous post: “How do you guys handle meta-talks? Do you announce them or just start talking about your dynamic and you both know that means you're on equal footing? Are they at a set interval or do you just have them as either of you has something to address?”

Thanks again for the interactions, Amy, you write my favorite Tumblr blog.

Because we started D/s well before finding Tumblr, we weren’t aware of the specific terminology “meta talk”. But for some reason the overarching idea of them doesn’t really apply to us either. My guess is because we are not high protocol.

If we used specific language, titles, postures etc., I would see the need for a formal way to break protocol and just be partners. We always treat each other with respect and kindness and so it doesn’t feel like much change is needed to address “Big picture” issues.

We have, somehow, developed the phrase “want to have an awkward conversation?” which means we need to talk about our D/s or sexlife (which are intertwined) in a very deliberate conversion. I wouldn’t say we completely drop our dynamic during these talks, it’s still there.

Lots of our best talks are in the car. His parents live about two hours away and we try to go see them at least once a month. If there are no teens in the car, we usually listen to a D/s podcast or I’ll read him something I found and then we will talk about our relationship: where we’re at, where we’d like to be, how’s everyone’s level of joy in the dynamic and so on.

If there were ever a time that it would maybe be needed to totally remove D/s, it would be around financial conversations and decisions. I handle the finances for our family and for a small business we own that is separate from, but adjacent to, his career. The topic doesn’t interest him at all, while I enjoy it and have become quite knowledgeable. I’m a saver, and I’m constantly moving things around, adjusting our retirement funds to make the most of them, finding new ways to make our money work for us, improving our credit scores, and studying the market for some day trading. He is not a saver. Years ago, he had asked that I just takeover the finances. He trusts me, knows I’m a smart woman, and he does not have time for this. So, I’m in charge of this department because he wants me to be. BUT, sometimes I have to adjust what he is doing. I might have to come to him and say something like,” please make sure you’re not using the business card for lunches, it screws up the books” or worse yet, ”I’m sorry, but I looked into it and I don’t think it’s the best time for that large purchase you wanted, the spring looks like a better time to free up the funds”. He’s a good leader and good leaders know how to put the best man on the job. When it comes to finances, I’m that man, but it does yield conversations where I’m steering the ship. I’ve always handled the money, even before we were married, so it doesn’t seem weird to us and our dynamic still feels intact. Maybe because after a discussion like that, he’ll thank me for taking such good care of our finances. It feels like it’s all in service to him.

In theory, I like the idea of scheduling talks, but with hectic schedules, it works better for us to just have the conversations as needed.

[spei-sidus]

An Ode to the Rose

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings

Written for UsaMamo Week 2023, Day 3

Valentine's Day is coming up and the girls decide, since they weren't giving chocolates to anyone, to write love letters to give to their future boyfriends. First Season Reveal AU

The girls sat in a booth at the Crown Arcade quietly. Valentine’s Day was tomorrow, and as usual none of them had a special someone to whom to give chocolates. Ami, too engrossed in academics, was studying unperturbed while the others sat, lost in thought.

“This is depressing,” Minako said finally, taking a swig of her boba smoothie.

“Tell me about it,” Makoto sighed. “I would love baking chocolates, and there are tons of guys, but none of them seem right.”

“Boys are overrated,” Rei said with a scowl.

“Says you,” Usagi said, sticking out her tongue.

“Not all of us have steadfast crushes,” Rei said, sticking out her tongue. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because it’ll never happen!”

“Why do you have to be so mean, Rei-chan!”

“I’m just stating facts. You’ll never get together.”

“You never know. I’m telling you-”

“Yes, yes, we know,” Ami cut in, her eyes darting about. “But we can never know for sure, and we’re too busy with other things to worry about it.”

Her meaning carried over to the rest of the girls. “Don’t be such a killjoy, Ami-chan,” Minako said. “We’re teenage girls. We should live a little.”

“Well, what should we do then?” Makoto asked.

“Love letters!” Minako said. “We’ll dedicate them to our future boyfriends! They’ll be happy to see how much we loved them before we even knew them!”

The others sweatdropped. “Are we going to show the letter to each boyfriend we have in our lives?” Rei asked, an eyebrow raised.

“No, no. Serious boyfriends - or fiancés.”

“So we write them, and then what? Do we read our letters to each other?”

“No!! That’s too private. No, we’ll make a show of putting the letters into special envelopes and sealing them together. Then we’ll have a celebratory drink!”

Usagi smiled. This was starting to sound like fun. “So we write the letters at home, then bring them here? And have a shake afterwards?” Minako nodded. “Let’s do this!”

“I’ll craft some envelopes and have them stenciled with cranes,” Rei offered.

“Great idea, Rei-chan!” Makoto said. “For good luck!”

“Alright, I’ll do it,” Ami murmured.

Usagi glomped the blue-haired genius. “Yay, Ami-chan!”

“My - book -”

“Sorry.”

“Then we should head home! This is going to take some time,” Minako said.

“You guys go ahead. I don’t want to hear a lecture from Luna, so I’m just going to write mine here,” Usagi said. When the girls left, she dutifully pulled out a notebook and a pen. She sat for a while, staring off into space.

Of course, the girls thought she was crushing on Tuxedo Kamen. They didn’t know that she had two crushes - the other being one Chiba Mamoru. They both pulled on her senses in magnetic ways, for good or for bad. They were both mysterious and attractive guys. 

They were both out of her league.

She wondered if she should write a letter to either of them. What were the chances that she’d end up with one of them? She shook her head. This was supposed to be fun. She could keep the letter a secret forever. Letters, she decided. She’d write a letter to each of them. To whom should she write first? She decided she’d write to Tuxedo Kamen first; he was the easiest. Thus she began:

Dear Tuxedo Kamen,

I wish you knew how much I’m in love with you. When you rescue me, you take my breath away. You’re so strong and fearless and you always know what to do. I’d be lost in battles without you to guide me. I wish we knew each other better. I want to be your friend, your girlfriend, your lover. I know we’re not enemies. I feel it in my heart when we look at each other. If you’re reading this, it’s because you feel the same. That thought makes me so happy. I hope you let me into your life.

With love,  

 ()_()     ( ^.^ )  \/

Okay, and now for the other one…

“Are you studying, Odango Atama? Has the world come to an end?”

She covered her letter with her heart in her throat. “Go away, baka,” she hissed. To her fury he slid into the booth opposite of her.

“No way, I’m not missing this moment for the world.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture.

“Did you just take a picture of me without my permission!”

“I have to immortalize the moment - it’ll probably never come again.”

“Oooh you JERK!” she shouted, lunging at him. But that was her mistake, because at that moment, Mamoru’s deft hands reached out and grasped the love letter. “No, please don’t read that!” she cried.

“You’d think it’s a love letter the way you carry on,” he taunted. His eyes widened when she flushed. “It’s a love letter? Who do you have a crush on?” he demanded.

“Just please, give it back - it’s a silly letter, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Valentine’s Day is tomorrow,” he noted with a frown. “Are you planning on giving this to him then?”

“Mind your own business, please!”

“Your safety is my business!” he shouted, before stopping with a slight blush, looking embarrassed.

Usagi just gaped at him, a pleasant warmth spreading through her with his words. “I’m not giving the letter to him,” she said quietly, reassuring him. “In a way, he doesn’t know I exist.”

“In a way? What does that mean?” Why did he look so crestfallen?

“Please, just give it back.”

“I will if you tell me who it is,” he said perversely. “Otherwise I’ll read it myself.”

“How dare you,” she hissed. “This is blackmail.”

He shrugged, then an eyebrow rose. “I’m waiting.”

She let out a huff, then glanced furtively about. “It’s Tuxedo Kamen,” she answered quietly.

His gaze turned inscrutable. “You have a crush on Tuxedo Kamen?”

She blushed furiously. She could only imagine what he was thinking! “I know, I know, he’s out of my league,” she muttered, “as I’m so very undateable - as you love to remind me.”

He had the grace to wince. “So…” he started, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts, “you decided to crush on a guy that you couldn’t date regardless?”

“I’ll have you know I so could date him; he’d just have to ask,” she hissed without thinking.

“But you said he doesn’t know you exist.”

Right. She facepalmed. “You’re right; it doesn’t matter. The girls and I are writing love letters for Valentine’s Day. We’re making a thing of it since we don’t have boyfriends. We don’t plan on giving the love letter to anyone. Like I said, it’s just a silly letter. Now may I have it back?”

He reluctantly handed the letter over to her outstretched palm. She made quick work of stuffing it into her notebook and gathering her things. Of all the things to happen! One crush now knows about her other crush! Would the Earth just open up and swallow her whole!

She shuffled out into the sunset, leaving a brooding upperclassman behind.

Later that night, she heard a faint knock on her bedroom window. She startled awake. Luna had already decided to stay over at Ami’s for the weekend. She looked at the windowsill and saw a familiar silhouette hovering there. She hurriedly opened the window to let him in. “Tuxedo Kamen-sama,” she breathed as he entered. “What are you doing here?” Was there a youma? Did he know who she was?

“I overheard you had a crush on me,” he murmured.

Her eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting to hear that. “Where did you hear that?”

“The Crown Arcade, of course.”

She flopped onto her bed, stunned. There was a good chance she knew his civilian form! “So what happens now?”

“We talk. We get to know each other.”

This was unreal. He was willing to talk to her, Tsukino Usagi, when he barely said a few words to her alter ego. “Oookay…” she said, casting about for a topic. She decided to satisfy her curiosity. “So what’s your relationship with Sailor Moon like? Are you two a couple?” What he was doing right now was pretty intimate for someone who was rumored to be in a relationship with someone else. Also, she can find out if he knew it was her or not.

“It’s complicated,” he said after several moments. 

She wasn’t sure how to take that. It wasn’t a no - but it wasn’t a yes either. The nijizuishou complicated things. She felt bad suddenly, like she was taking advantage of him. She was going to get intimate information from him without him knowing that she was Sailor Moon. But how could she fix that? Should she henshin in front of him? Luna would kill her!

“How do you deal with it all?” she asked. “I mean, you are up at all hours of the night, and I’m sure you have things to do during the day. It must be so hard.”

He swallowed. “Caffeine helps. And I do things that release stress. I…talk.”

She nodded sagely. “That’s good. We all need someone to talk to.” A moment passed. “I’ll talk to you. I won’t talk about any of the superhero stuff, because I know you need to keep that secret. But I wouldn’t mind being your friend.”

He smiled tenderly at her. “And more?”

“I would love that,” she admitted.

“What else do you love? What’re your dreams?”

She smiled wistfully. “I’m a simple girl, really. I love food, manga, romance, and friendship. I dream of a beautiful, peaceful world. I don’t know what I’d do for a career, but I definitely want to be a wife and have kids. I want a family.”   

“Family is precious.”

“Yes. I feel blessed because I know not everyone has one. Like my friend, Mako-chan. She’s been an orphan since she was eight. She was in an orphanage until recently. I’m her family now.”

“Most people wouldn’t care about orphans,” he said. “You have a huge heart.”

“Do you care about orphans?”

“I am an orphan. I was in an orphanage until a few years ago. I’m not telling you this because I want your pity. I hate pity.”

Luminous eyes regarded him. “You were forced to be alone,” she intuited. It explained a lot about his distant personality, she realized sadly. 

“I’ve been alone as long as I can remember. I’ve always thought I was meant to be alone, until…”

“Until what?”

“Until I met you.”

She gasped. “No way - we know each other?! I know you outside of the mask?!”

“I can’t tell you who I am,” he said regretfully. “I don’t want you to be in danger.”

“I understand.” She really did. She wasn’t going to force his hand just because she was Sailor Moon and therefore was already in danger. 

“If I may, may I see the letter?”

And there it was, her identity laid out on a piece of paper addressed to him. She decided she’d give it to him. The decision alleviated the guilt she’d just been feeling. She wordlessly walked over to her bag, rummaging about until she found the slightly crinkled page. She handed it to him, waiting with bated breath as he skimmed it over. Startled eyes locked with hers.

“I’m glad you know,” she said simply, breaking the silence. “I understand if you want to leave now, since, you know - it’s complicated.”

He sighed heavily, taking a seat on her bed. “I had no idea,” he murmured. He then moved the letter slightly. “There’s two sheets here,” he said in surprise.

Oh no. “No, please don’t read that!” she cried, but it was too late. Stunned eyes rose to hers after a moment. “I didn’t know if we’d ever be together,” she said desperately, trying to explain. “He wouldn’t ever date me either, so if you ever changed your mind, it wouldn’t be an issue to let him go. He doesn’t even like me.”

“Then why do you like him?”

“I don’t know?! And you’re - I just - I can’t discuss this with you. I can’t talk about my crushes with each other; it’s just wrong!” She sobbed. “I think you should go. Please.”

He left quietly, leaving a crying Senshi in his wake.

* * * * * *

The next morning, Usagi showed up to the Crown Arcade with her letters somewhat neatly folded into thirds in hand. A glance around showed she was actually early for a change. She headed to the counter, where Mamoru already sat drinking coffee. “Hello, baka,” she said.

“Hello, Odango.” Was he nervous?

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said awkwardly.

“What, no chocolate?” he teased. 

“What, no! Why would I give you chocolate?” she stammered. Did he somehow find out about her crush? Tuxedo Kamen wasn’t a friend of his, was he?

“Well I know it’s not traditional because I’m a guy and all, but I’m going to give this to you now.” He held out an envelope to her. 

“What?” Her mind drew a blank.

“Just take it. Open it in private.”

She took the letter and ran to the restroom. After she slipped into a stall, she opened the letter and started reading.

Dear Tsukino Usagi,

Protect with roses you, maiden, whom I tease. I’m in love with you.

Coffee is not why come I to dine at the Crown. I’m in love with you.

You’re brave, beautiful, kind, strong, and inspiring. I’m in love with you.

With these words do I cast aside complications. I’m in love with you.

Please give me a sign whether to give us a try. I will wait for you.

With love, Chiba Mamoru

She just got a love letter. A love letter from Chiba Mamoru, who turned out to be Tuxedo Kamen! Her crushes were one and the same. Here she'd been talking about him as her crush, twice! The events of the prior day fell into place. Now she understood why Tuxedo Kamen knew about her letter. She wanted to feel guilty about it all - but it looked like he also had two crushes, too! They were both her - Usagi and Sailor Moon. Incredibly, he wanted them both. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and her chest felt light. He loved her. He wanted to be together.

She stuffed the letter into her subspace pocket and finished up in the bathroom. She locked eyes with him when she came out; he’d been anxiously looking in that direction. She made a beeline to his side, casually sitting on the stool next to him. They each faced away from each other, waiting. Then there was movement beside her. A thornless red rose with a sharp tip had been placed next to her. With trembling fingers she picked it up, holding it to her nose. “I love roses,” she murmured, uncertain how to proceed. Why was she suddenly nervous?

“Girls usually do,” he replied neutrally, his body tense.

“Especially red ones. They’re special.” She blushed. “I’ll always love them. I really want some chocolates, though.”

“Craving sweets, Odango Atama?”

“No, wanting to gift my crush some chocolate for Valentine’s Day.”

He stilled. “That’s a shame,” he said after a moment, turning to face her.

“Yeah. I’ll have to make it up to him next year.” She was bestowed the most brilliant smile she’d ever seen him have. 

The girls came in then. She reluctantly left him to join them in their booth. They placed their letters into Rei’s beautiful envelopes. Minako called Motoki over. 

“What are you girls up to?” Motoki asked cheerfully.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, and we didn’t have anyone to give chocolates to, so we’re writing love letters to our future boyfriends-”

“More like fiancés,” Rei corrected.

“Right. So when the time comes, we’re going to have them open and read the letters.”

“How romantic!” Motoki exclaimed.

“Right? Rei-chan even handmade these envelopes for good luck!”

“Very nice,” he marveled. “So what now?”

“We need drinks! For a celebratory toast to love!”

“Well, what do you want?”

“Chocolate shakes!” Usagi said, suddenly inspired. “And give one to Mamoru, too. My treat.”

Mamoru had been watching them the entire time. His gaze burned into Usagi’s while the other girls just gaped.

“You’re giving Mamoru a chocolate shake - on Valentine’s Day?” Rei asked.

“You’re finally admitting it!” Minako crowed, laughing.

“What?!” the girls exclaimed.

“Oh, c’mon guys. I am the Goddess of Love. I know these things.”

Usagi got up out of her seat and sat next to Mamoru again. When the chocolate shake arrived she turned to Mamoru and held it out with two hands.

“I just want you to know that I’ve loved you for ages and I was wondering if you’d accept this chocolate shake from me as a token of that love.”

He took the shake from her, slowly lifting the cup to his lips, taking a sip from the straw, his eyes never leaving hers. Then he was placing it onto the counter, inched forward, and captured her lips with his. It was a soft, chaste kiss, full of promise.

“So, do you want to give him his letter now?” Usagi heard Minako ask.

“Quiet, Minako-chan,” Rei hissed.

“What? I just calls it like I smells it.”

“I don’t think that’s how that saying goes,” Ami said.

The End

[stories-of-the-multiverse]

((Okay so. Something interesting that I thought of while looking into the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is ages, cuz. One, Generations and Forces basically made the ‘all of the adventures of Sonic and friends are happening in the same year so they don’t age in the games’ thing? Has been made bunk now. And two.

Yeah, Murder mystery isn’t exactly a family friendly event. And clearly the devs realize this too, because Cream and Charmy were completely left out due to being too young.

Here’s the thing though, Tails is only two years older than them canonically [according to Sonic Heroes], yet he’s not only there, he’s one of the main driving forces of the event as the detective and in the game in general as the players’ partner. So how old does Tails have to be to make the cut but Charmy and Cream couldn’t? And by that extent, how old are the others in general.

And don’t gimme that “Well Tails isn’t a normal kid, he’s more mature and smarter, so he’s an exception,” because. Literally not how age restrictions work. If he’s too young to be in something, it doesn’t matter how smart or mature he is for his age, he’s not participating. Period. And as far as I know, celebrity status does not give such privileges either. At least, I know for sure whatever this company is doesn’t, because Amy admitted that she relied on a birthday discount to book this. Clearly the celebrity status she undoubtedly has with the others did not dictate her privileges, it was that she was the birthday girl

Anyways, to figure this out, I supposed that the cut off age was 10-13 depending on if it was a 10+ event or teens and older event. So that would make Cream and Charmy 8-12 and Tails 10-14.

Then I looked up how old kids have to be to participate in murder mystery party games, and a lot of them were like 15 years old, 16 years old, but I did see a service that offers murder mystery games for kids 12+, albeit tame. Anything younger, there’s no murder mystery for them, just murder free mysteries.

So that leaves the two of them 10-12 and Tails 12-14. And I’m leaving it at 14 at the most for Tails because. He still seems too young to be any older than that. And even then, fourteen might be pushing it a tad.

So what about the rest of the cast?

Well Amy’s canonically four years older than Tails, so that leaves her birthday in the sweet 16 to finally a legal adult 18 range.

Blaze is two years older than Amy, so she’s about 18-20.

Sonic [and arguably by extension Shadow] is a year older than Blaze, so he’d have to be 19-21. The latter he is. Legally old enough to drink. At least in the states.

Knuckles and Espio are a year older than Sonic, so they’d be 20-22.

Rouge is a lil’ tricky, because in Heroes she was listed at 17, but apparently she’s made 18? No clue what’s up there, but either way, she’s about one to two years older than Knuckles and Espio, so she’d be maybe 21-24? The range here is wider because I’m not fully certain of the age diff between her and Knuckles.

And then Vector either way is four years older than Knuckles and Espio for sure. So he’d be 24-26.

That being said, yes, this does mean I am changing my sanic muses’ ages a bit to accomodate this.

And before anyone comes at me with “It’s not canon, it’s an April Fool’s thing!” One, I like it, so I don’t care, it’s canon to me. And two, The Love Conquers All update of Pico’s School was also an April Fool’s thing, yet there are canon elements, to the point where the events of the update are an official AU. So. Shush.))

[gourde]

Hot takes coming in HOT. Most are hot takes, like actual hot takes.

IDW Sonic is the best iteration of the character sorry. He's not too different from what Sonic has always been at his core and he feels more like a character than anything. Maybe it's just me being a Transformers fan and there are so, so many different versions of the characters. One of the best TF shows is Animated and it took a ton of risks. Doesn't mean it's bad. Still has the main idea at the core.

And while Archie Sonic is mean as hell he is in no way the worst.

The most boring Sonic media in general is Sonic X. It's nothing to me. It's like white bread. If I want to see aliens from another world with a couple human characters I'd just watch Transformers. And it's not just my tastes, it's just. Nothing. Really. X's Sonic is the worst in my opinion.

Also back to Archie people are way too mean to it. STOP BEING MEAN TO ARCHIE I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT BUT I SEE WAY TOO MUCH HATE ABOUT IT IT'S JUST A COMIC SERIES THEY'RE JUST LIKE THAT though there is a ton of misogyny and racism you can easily tear into it about that.

The Sonic racing games are fun and such an obvious idea for a spin-off.

Satam isn't a good show either. I think most people like it just cause of nostalgia.

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS ONE BUT I JUST CAN'T GET BEHIND SALLY. I don't like her. She's just... a character trope I've seen a thousand times before. Crazy male character, dumb male character, smart male character, and then level-headed female character who keeps them all under control. Like seriously? That's just. So common it's everywhere. Also her design sucks. It's bad. She is not a chipmunk at all.

In fact most Sonic characters look NOTHING like the animal they are and it BOTHERS ME

This is a common thought at least in the circles I'm in but so, so many fan ships are just. So boring. No matter what fandom you go to there will always be the token MLM ship where both male characters are all lovey dovey and kissy and smooshy it's not original.

Sonic and Shadow differ so much in personality they would never get together. Ever. I can't see it at all.

SONIC IS TOUCH AVERSE!!!!!!!!!

SURGE IS UNIRONICALLY THE BEST CHARACTER IN SONIC AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. Female character who hates everything, is evil, used, self destructive, around the age of 14, she would've been the best thing ever if she existed when I was in my early teens. Also she's GREEN and has SHARP TEETH and is allowed to be COOL AND SCARY EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A GIRL LIKE WE NEED MORE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS IN GENERAL IN EVERY MEDIA EVER

And people are SO SO QUICK to redeem her. I love redemption arcs as much as the next person but like. Let her be evil please. No one was clambering for Starline or Mimic or any other evil male character to be redeemed but suddenly peak female character comes in and she NEEDS TO BE SHIPPED WITH AMY STOP ITTTT STOP

AMY COULD NOT CONVINCE SURGE TO BE NORMAL AGAIN. Sonic already tried it. What would Amy do that would be different. Other than falling into the tired, bored trope of "Romance and love fixes broken people!" STOP THAT

Sonic Forces IS as bad as people said when it came out. It's not good. You can have fun with it I don't care but it's not a well made game at all.

Sonic Colours by extension despite being one of my favourites and I certainly have nostalgia for it (Especially the soundtrack) suffers a lot when it enters 2D. It's slow and bad to control. Like Sonic Forces but you can actually stomach it.

The original Sonic games and momentum are overrated as a gameplay mechanic. Games will evolve over time and switch things out. Character will evolve over time. That's okay. If things didn't change, even if you personally don't like it, the series would get stale and stagnate.

SA1 and SA2 are not as good as everyone remembers. Ignoring the jank there's just better 3D platformers out there.

That said SA1's spindash is so fucking fun I love spamming it in the hub world WEEEE WOOSH WOOSH WEEEE!!!

Sonic Heroes is SO broken you CANNOT ignore it for nostalgia sorry it's just. God. It's so infuriating to play. YOU FALL OFF ALL THE TIME

In fact nostalgia and constant shipping brain are kind of my biggest gripe within the Sonic fandom.

Sonamy is the worst ship in Sonic and it's not even a contest. It truly sucks so bad. Neither of them are good for each other. THE AGE GAP.

Sonic Frontiers is truly what we needed. We really, seriously needed Frontiers.

And while I am complaining a lot I think people complain too much about the Sonic games because it isn't what they look for in Sonic. It's such a long running franchise that has changed up many things about it which means there's a ton of people all looking for different things from Sonic. You cannot make a Sonic game that will make the majority happy. That's okay. We probably won't go back to 2D momentum in main line Sonic games (Ignoring classic games). That's also okay.

People just gotta be more chill regarding changes in Sonic in general.

Now that I think about every Sonic show has it's own big problems. None of them are great. Except Sonic Boom but it's indicative of a rather big slump in Sonic that relied on humour instead of sincerity.

But talking about that people ALSO have to realize that Sonic is for kid's first and foremost. It won't do anything insane crazy dark. It'll stay within parameters. It's for kid's. If you want toxic romance or whatever just go watch an adult show. This goes for any fandom really.

And finally, SONIC ISN'T WHITE!!!!!!

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Why someone would make a sequel to 1976’s Carrie 23 years after the original, I don't know. Even if this had been released at the right time (if such a thing as a right time existed) this is a lazily-conceived, badly made film. The climax is more likely to leave you in hysterics than shivering in terror.

In 1999, outcast Rachel (Emily Bergl) hates life at home thanks to her unloving foster parents. After her best friend Lisa (Mena Suvari) commits suicide, Rachel learns a popular football jock, Eric (Zachery Ty Bryan), feigned love for the dead girl so he could sleep with and then dump her to impress his friends. All the football players are partaking in this game, even the seemingly sweet Jesse (Jason London), on whom Rachel has a crush.

I've omitted two details about this plot to show you how much of a sequel to Carrie it isn’t. The entire film could easily play out without these, leading me to believe (though I can’t prove it) it was written as some other movie and then reworked to tie into the 1976 Brian De Palma film. Technically, The Rage is a follow-up. Amy Irving returns as Sue Snell, now an adult guidance counsellor for Rachel's school. That’s a detail. The real reason this is “a sequel”? Rachel. The young woman has the the same telekinetic powers as Carrie did. With that said, I bet you can predict the entire movie now. The film’s villains are essentially the Spur Posse. Rachel’s going to fall in love with one of them, they’ll have sex, his buddies will ruin everything by telling Rachel it was all a facade, unleashing her titular rage upon them. Cue the blood bath until TRAGEDY! Turns out the love was real. Too bad loads of people are now dead. Too bad for Rachel, I mean. We couldn’t care less about the teens who bit the dust.

While it would’ve left you feeling like you just took a bath in a bucket of grease, this picture might’ve sucessfully told its revenge plot if it had played things smartly. You instantly hate the bad guys so you’re somewhat endeared to Rachel. Unfortunately, writer Rafael Moreau and director Katt Shea fumble this project. Over and over, we're shown clips of the 1976 film. What do they mean? Rachel wasn’t there. These aren’t her memories. Sue wasn’t there either - she left the deadly party before the carnage began. They're included to assure us that there will be blood later and because this film knows otherwise, everyone would leave. While we wait, the picture goes into needless details about Rachel’s powers, explaining their origin in a way that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Picture this. Rachel is going to the jock’s post-graduation party. They’re getting ready to dump this film’s equivalent of a bucket of blood on her when they broadcast the secret footage of her and Jesse having sex for everyone to see. Counsellor Sue has been picking away at this nagging feeling that something’s not right with the teenager. She’s found the girl’s insane mother, broken her out of Arkham Asylum and is bringing her to the party so Rachel can understand why she has mutant powers. As they approach the door, Rachel hurls a fire poker at a schoolmate, impaling him through the head. In the process, she kills Sue. The woman’s death is accidental so it doesn’t tell us anything about how intensely Rachel’s rage burns. Left to her own devices, mom barges into the chaotic house to explain to her daughter what’s happening. Too bad the characters haven’t spoken in 13 years. They're lucky they knew who was who! The exchange that follows means NOTHING because their connection isn't emotional, it's technical.

No fan of the original Carrie could watch The Rage and be satisfied with it. No one who hasn’t seen the original should watch this movie instead. The Rage: Carrie 2 is a picture without an audience. It’s got some unintentionally funny moments towards the end when the gore and violence are supposed to appall us but you’ll have checked out long before then. (On VHS, March 5, 2020)

[labellepensee]

They Both Die at the End - book review

I quite liked this book. I am not one for romance (even though the only 2 books I have posted reviews for have been romance, I'm trying to branch out ok??), but I would say that this is a good book. However, I was not a fan of the romance in the book. Ya know what I mean? Anyways, I felt the romance was rushed and unnecessary. The book could have ended the same way without the kissing scene; it was entirely possible to end the book with Mateo and Rufus having a similar emotional breakthrough, but with platonic feelings instead. Like, I just don't feel like it was vital to the plot. It may have just been the way the romance was written though, I did not like how it was portrayed very much either. I don't know how to describe it, it just felt distracting from the rest of the book and out of place. I will say that I think it is incredibly important to have queer poc characters. I think that both the main characters could have maintained their queer identities without the inclusion of the romance. I especially was surprised at the decision to include romance after writing in how much Rufus loved his ex-girlfriend Amy at the time.

Now to the things I did like. I loved the idea of Death-Cast, and the world building in this book. I thought it was unique which was very refreshing since it can be hard to find tropes that are not overdone or well done (especially with young adult fiction). I loved the stark difference in the two main characters. I think that their difference in personalities was incredibly important to the others character development. Specifically, I liked the way that Rufus spoke. I liked that he said "mad" in every other sentence. I believe it really portrayed how some teens tend to talk. At least for me, the word slay comes out of my mouth every 15 seconds. I thought it was a fun detail. I also loved the way Mateo's social anxiety was portrayed as it was very relatable. I also enjoyed that Rufus never got cross with Mateo over his social anxiety (from what I can recall). He embraced it, and helped him through it. Next, I loved the small detail of the guy that Mateo gave his shoes to that makes him hesitate for a second. I love a good full circle moment, and it was really satisfying. Along with this, I loved the plot twist. I will admit that I love to spoil things for myself by looking ahead, and I had total faith that Mateo was going to get killed first by the "gang" that was tracking Rufus down by jumping in front of the bullet to save him, but the whole stove scene was heartbreaking and completely shocked me. Lastly, I liked the bit of ambiguity at the end. I liked that we don't know exactly how Rufus died since it is not explicitly stated (I mean it can be inferred), but I thought it was a really good stylistic choice to leave it open the way it was.... that way I can pretend he never ended up dying. I will definitely be reading the prequel.