#I love the Sui siblings

[kc5rings]

I like that the Sui get increasingly more employed as they come out

Nian: unemployed

Dusk: Kind of a job as a storyteller then actually does her job at Rhodes Island

Ling: Was drunk on a mountain but was doing her job of containing their brother by doing that

Chongyue: Actual job and title he was doing, if a bit casual about being a Granmaster at times

Shu: Real ass farmer with a job to do and you can either help or move, there’s crops to tend

Yu: Line cook

[57-dayo]

shu rkgk

[esmeblaze]

I miss you. Please come home for dinner.

[koshka-sova]

they really never miss with those npc designs

(from the most recent sui story, such is the joy of our reunion)

[maglorthecrab]

I swear I sat down to draw something wholesome

[pooptrongnee]

JIJIJIJIJIJIJIJIJIJI

[lamouratorrrrry]

does he know

[rainemonn]

おりまき兄妹

few months ago sui-sensei revealed tenka-chan's design and!!! she's so cute i love her so much oh my god

[paradizetobefound]

I feel like it needs probably be said that whatever is going re: arknights handling of Victoria is pretty in-line with how arknights has been in general so uh. There's that.

[bloodysparklez]

me when a total of three (3) nice comments in the tags prompt me to post all of my tai sui doodles at once

[voxxian]

I'm so happy to see that there's some activity here, you kind off disappeared all of the sudden and was so worried. I hope that you're doing well and just know that there's still people who care about you here in Summerfield 💗

- Stephany

hey stephany. sorry the activity you see on here isn't from me being active, is from my pre-set queue that just runs without me. this is my first time logging in and seeing this. i actually logged in to prewrite a farewell to life note for future posting when it's time to actually post it (which i guess i won't do right now since i saw your message) so seeing this was actually shocking. im really sorry i did that, after that whole fight i got into with my dad everything kind of came crashing down and ever since i have just been in a really bad dark place struggling with my mental and physical health (which the physical health is destroying my mental health) and that coupled with recent events has had me like over the top suicidal

it's really sweet that you even bothered to message me, especially since i have absolutely nobody to talk to and no friends for various reasons some of it due to my shitty failures amongst other things.

i have always had a really bad relationship with sticking around and stuff because of my upbringing and right now im struggling very hard in life and i just don't want anyone to see that. i am really really unstable, i have next to no support, my finances came crashing down on me a month ago and my car is breaking down while im in the negatives, and i am in a state of being suicidal like 24/7 and i just feel like i can't talk to anyone. my body right now is ruined and it's affecting my employment and my relationship with just about everyone is non-existent besides literally 1 person and life is just really really really difficult. im still considering ending it, because i just don't think the suffering that's been getting worse and worse the last ten years will stop tbh. nothing is looking up. everything is just getting worse and worse and worse and im really close to a breaking point

i don't want to get all dramatic on my blog that i literally am never on but since you even bothered writing i feel like i owe you an explanation for my (unjustified) behavior and disappearance

it means a lot to me still that you've reached out and even bothered to check on me. even in the midst of all this hell it really does mean something special to me. i didn't even think anyone cared. usually the people i talk to disappear on me or just show me through words and actions that they don't want to be a friend to me or, in some cases, just don't want to be a real friend, so i just thought i did everyone (including myself) a favor by disappearing from the world because normally people are just fine and really don't care about me and i just become a thing of the past. it's crazy to my mind that you even still think about me because i feel like i was nobody to even care about after leaving.

[salma062022]

I feel like something is wrong with me because, tell me why I suddenly felt the urge to kill myself when my sister sent me a video about how much she love me.

I love my sister; she practically raised me since I was a child. But now, I'm in such a dark place that all I can think about is suicide even If somebody love me I'm afraid I'll let them down so it's better to kill myself while they still love me

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i dont even feel relief after my semester ending. i only feel tired and mentally drained. i wanted to stay in bed all day today but im not allowed to (because the "why are you acting depressed when you're fine youre so lazy" attitude of my family) so i decided to get up before anyone could tell me to. and now im on my computer, but i dotn want to do anything. i dont really want to listen to music, only kind of, and i dont want to draw. i dont have any motivation and nothing i draw looks good compared to others anyway, all the effort i put in is pointless. i dont feel hungry but i dont feel tired, i dont feel up to anything or like i want to do anything. the memories have been so bad lately i cant go a day without remembering it anymore, im stuck in the incident forever and its been hard to do anything. i cant distract myself anymore. it made work harder and it was difficult to pay attention in classes, i cant even get myself to move or stand up at home. i have two months until my next semester starts and i really dont know what to do with myself during that time. i feel bad im not feeling any kind of satisfaction or "its finally over!" after my semester but i cant seem to feel those more positive feelings about it. i didnt think college would be so hard in general or on my mental health. i wanted to end it all multiple times and had multiple breakdowns, and i came extremely close to attempting twice. i applied for classes for next semester but i dont know why if it will probably be just as bad, if not worse. im hoping it gets better like my family says, but im not feeling confident. maybe it will. ill just have to keep going, somehow. ive been feeling so bad in general i contemplate ending it every day, the idea of having to keep going seems impossible. i really want to disappear before the end of the year, but at the same time i want to live to 2024.i probably sound stupid. im going to go make tea and attempt to draw something.

[little-lanterns]

dunno much about the new sui event, saw the silhouette of fthe second bro and i instantly passed out

[rangerdoubt]

i have yelled at length on discord about stepverse interactions and yet

cut for length and rambling good god but this is going out there because i refuse to be a chicken shit on my own blog

i never thought either miguel or miriam would particularly like any of the other steps. (wrong on miriam’s end--tbf she doesn’t like anyone to begin with, ever, but she truly isn’t that hard to win over, despite her best efforts. absolutely dead correct for miguel--although he is by far more stubborn and less avoidant than i had previously pictured him.) 

but they absolutely do not like each other. i thought maybe perhaps a grudging respect (which is miguel @ elmo weirdly enough) but no. they both think the other one is like--a massive loser lmao.

for one thing, mob boss vs hero hunter: miguel thinks miriam is short-sighted and violent (yes). miri think miguel is cowardly and dependent (also yes). vastly different methods of approach that put both of them off of the other: miguel resents how miriam uhhh just shamelessly rips things up. kicks the shit out of the least important person in the room and leaves. like what in the self-centred shit--? but miri thinks that miguel is just as bad as the people he’s coming after--replacing one with another does nothing. there’s no net improvement, no accountability, just power changing hands as it has for literally forever. how’s that for self-centred? 

both of them are pursuing their own little side plots that are just... running adjacent to the actual issue but by god will neither admit that those are side plots. what a waste of talent, they’ll complain to their respective partners, if they weren’t such a (miri: stuck up asshole/miguel: cruel idiot) i think i would be able to turn them around. 

(it’s worse too because miriam’s not. shy. or polite. when she doesn’t like someone. she’s a wetwork agent, an assassin--fighting is her job and she’s her own best tool. the faster she can get things clear the more effective she is. whereas miguel has shades of social anxiety and is relentlessly, strenuously polite, especially if he doesn’t like somebody. you get around in his world by making friends, and he’s not that good at making contacts to begin with. so he settles for being a powerful asset, and easy to work with--make it hard for people to dislike you, and maybe they’ll keep you around. miguel would have allowed himself to be won over if miriam would just condescend to civility but he makes her skin crawl, not knowing where she stands with him but knowing he’s hiding something.) 

also, miri is very willing to die in whatever form it takes. all of the walls she’s been keeping up between the three selves are collapsing. there is physically no way she can keep all of those plates in the air and get a good emotional ending: she has to drop at least two of the lives. tbh if she lost all three, it might be a relief. and this would not jive well with miguel at all--whose dearest wish is to feel like he belongs to his life. like, not even ask for a better one: he can learn to love the one he has. he wants to feel entirely at home in this body that he’s forged himself. to stop feeling like the world is just a globe on a desk, a ship in a bottle. as a fate step he feels like he’s trying to pull a plane out of a nosedive while accepting that this is just slowing the inevitable crash--trying to fall with a little style. in his eyes, miri’s trying to crash a car that would otherwise have driven straight--on its own even! 

and i think--at the core of it, they’d be soooo so so fuckin envious of each other. like that’s all it is. miguel sees miriam’s drive and independence and intensity of feeling and wonders what that would be like. he loves the crew, but imagine that. being able to go off on your own and trust that it would be fine. imagine believing in something unconstrained by practicality or reason--you’ll make it happen. imagine being swallowed up in someone else’s love or anger or what-have-you, able to be there in that moment instead of somewhere before or after. and then miri’s just. furious with this guy who acts like he can steer anyone around--but can’t he? she says has the strings, and she knows what to do and where to go. but does she? if miriam feels like she’s face down in the puddle of her own life, miguel might as well be walking on water. more than that, all of her kindness is wedged behind some--block or whatever: there’s no time or space for gentleness even if she wanted to, even for the people she loves. she watches miguel deftly fit himself into any team he wants and realizes that he never works alone because he never has to. 

if they were in the same universe, they’d be staring at the unholy mess the other one is making of the the life they dream of, asking each other and asking themselves:

why the fuck are you unhappy?

[justsentientmeat]

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