#I love him he’s great I don’t want him to be sad :( but he woulda been MORE sad if I kept fucking around about it

[tedthetalk]

Shocking absolutely no one, the situation with 🌱💣 had to come to a head in a way that kind of sucks and on retrospect there is a chance that I may have fucked up. A little. Just in general.

[chaosandmarigolds]

Dreamscape

(canon? whats that? we go with vibes in this house. Fem!reader, based off an amazing!! ask....um this is just sadness, I'm sorry.....if you want to add more sadness listen to Chasing Cars (yeah I cry to that song 99% of the time sorry))

One day..

With a grumble, he adjusted to the sudden shift of your body weight, to where you were essentially laying over him, and out of pure habit he wrapped his arm over the small of your back- only for you to whisper a soft ‘sorry’ before standing up all the way. Which caused him to think, it was a Saturday and there weren’t any Ops he had been assigned, so there was no purpose in waking up before the sun. So with a tilt of the head, he moves to sit up, watching as you tug out the duffle bag from the couch.

Maybe when the war is over…

“Love?”

You almost jump as your fiance calls the nickname and you turn around, giving him a little smile, “Good morning.”

Simon gives you a look as he turns on the lamp and watches your mannerisms, the timidness behind every movement, “Wha’s goin on?” A valid question, what had happened was that you and Johnny were assigned to what Price lightly put as a ‘suicide mission,’ and what you didn’t want to happen was for Simon to force then add himself to it- as it would then decrease your chances of survival by that much. So you falter for a moment, trying to avert your gaze. With a panicked breath you motion to the kitchenette, “I’ll make tea! Oh! And let’s use the special type, the one we got from Inida? Yeah! Yeah-”

Of course, the echoed whisper of your name made you stop your walk and you slowly turned to face him, your face downturned, you were an awful lair, you were never sent to integrations because you hated to see people hurt. And it killed you to see him searching for an answer, to see him scared for your sake- and for the great and terrifying Simon Riley…that was saying something.

Once the smoke settles…

“You’re not going.”

“It doesn’t-” You groan and throw your head into your hands, “It doesn’t work like that, you know that.”

“No, you’re not going, ‘ll take the spot,” He was grasping at broken shards of sense because he knew the choice was set in stone that not even a sword made of the purest of intentions couldn’t crack it. “Let me talk to-”

“SIMON.”

You take a sharp breath and look at him from across the room, by that time you were fully dressed, hair tied back, boots laced up. Engangment ring which was supposed to be switched out in less than a week hanging onto your dog tags. It took a moment to find the words but they were able to come after a moment, “There is no talking to Laswell or the Captain, there is no loophole, there is no replacing, there is nothing you can do. I have it covered. I do not need you to come and save me when I can save myself.”

Maybe once we got ourselves picked up…

The silence was stiff, and he then finally relented, slowly walking over to you, tucking the tags into your shirt, voice hushed, “Johnny ‘ll take care of ya.”

“I did…I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” He pressed his lip to the crown of your head, “Jus lemme think I can save you from everythin.”

You stay silent, then with a short step you move to allow him to hold you, “You can.”

We can move somewhere far away, within the groves of tranquility …

You give Johnny a dull laugh as you walk down the rusted corridor, his laugh echoing through your earpiece. It was nice, laughing for what felt like the first time in forty or so hours, the mission was not even close to being finished and you were already running on steam. So obviously it was time for some lame jokes, “As much as fireworks sound fun, I don’t think I want that in my wedding.”

“Gah,” He chuckled from his spot, waiting for you to clear the hallway so he could follow, “Ghosty woulda lemme.”

“Oh yeah, Ghost would have loved it,” You return with a bitten-back laugh, and then turn the corner, leading with your gun, eyes looking over the blood splatters on the ground and you then whisper, “Clear.”

Before you could even blink the hiss of a gunshot hissed into your earpiece burning with such a pain you had to rip it out, hand going to your ear.

With a staggering step to catch your balance and blink the tears out of your eyes you were then met with a gun being shoved to the back of your head.

You never thought blinding light could hold such peace.

I would prefer our home to not be the shadows cast by the towering and rickety oaks, rather it be in the sun, lightened by new lives we could live

The carrier came back with supplies, no saved hostage, just two bodies left mangled by the enemy no captain even- the craft had been on autopilot.

A message, a warning left within that metal body.

The silence as the door swung itself open. They had all seen death, they had seen things no human should have seen.

There was something about the sight of their teammates laying tossed on the floor of an aircraft that made Kyle turn away

That made Price need a day before he filed the paperwork.

Something about it ruined Simon.

A large house ideally, so that way we can have as many kids and dogs as we want, something to usher in a new meaning behind our names

Silence is what he use to hold peace in, yet all he could hear when there was silence was the what-ifs, did you scream? Was it quick? Did it hurt? Why didn’t he go? Why did he let it happen?

That day he lost the only people he had loved and it was cursing him, bottles couldn’t cure it, opioids didn’t numb more than he had already been, nothing was saving him. He summed that up by saying maybe he didn’t deserve saving.

A garden, lively with bees and colorful with every flower I can manage to grow,

He couldn’t bring himself to go through your things, he was the next of kin, as for Johnny- all of his things had been shipped back to his family, yours? They sat where you had left them that morning you left, your notebook collecting desk on the coffee table, mug still half-filled with water. Lipstick stain still on his balaclava from the last time he took you out on a proper date.

In a drunken stupor, he grabbed the notebook, for the intention of tossing it away, forcing himself to forget every tiny detail of what was. But something told him to open up the pages, so for a millionth of a second he did, yet the sight of your handwriting which you would jokingly name ‘chicken scratch’ forever ingrained on the pages caused something in him to break all over again.

A porch where we can dance in the moonlight

“Riley.” John seemed shocked by the sight of the former lieutenant on his doorstep, sure he had offered ‘anything’ after the deaths, yet he never expected for Simon to take him up on it. For the first time in two years, for the first time since he had to discharge him, he saw what he thought was a completely sober man before him.

It was taking every ounce of Simon to not just turn away, to say it was a bad idea and run, run away from the emotions, but he was going to this…he had to. “You wanna build a house?”

A library so I can put all of those books you bought me, somewhere we can escape the haunting reality of the past

A year, he and John spent a year of work on the house once Simon found the perfect lot of land not too far out of London. Weekends spent from morning to dusk, John’s kids helping when they were in town and Eliza, John’s wife, coming by with food and to do the painting. The foundation has your name forever printed within it.

All of it sounds so poetic when I scribble them down, but the reality is as long as I have your love I am home

A garden he tended every morning and dusk to make sure they were perfectly planted, large enough to where the neighbors would come by to pick bouquets. He would watch the child run through the stone pathways, wondering what could have been.

The library was filled with novels he swore to collect, writing your name as the owner as he placed them in the rows of the shelving he took careful time carving.

I will love you forever and always, Ghost-boy

“You built a good home,” Kyle had told him, close to ten years after all of it had happened, sitting beside him on the porch. He knew it was probably the only thing that kept him alive this long, so he was thankful for it.

Simon nodded slowly, “Thank you.”

(annnyway, that’s all! Any and all comments, feedback and all that mean so much! Thanks for the ask!! <3)

[ferraripoolfc]

Some thoughts on the Japan GP:

I haven’t posted in awhile but I have watched both Australia GP and this one! And I have a few things to say I fear.

Starting off with Ferrari.

Here we are once again leaving with a podium which is a beautiful result going based off how we performed last season! ( it wasn’t the best sadly). Last race we got a double podium and now we have a P3 with Carlos and P4 with Charles coming very close. Me personally I’m very proud when both drivers do amazing and are right next to each other with podiums and places. It shows that they both did amazing to follow each other. NOW one thing I don’t like is how fans react when one driver gets a podium and the other doesn’t. And when the driver is Carlos to get the podium it’s now “Oh Charles deserved that podium” or “Ferrari doesn’t care for Charles all they do is put him down” and honestly I think those are crazy things to say because those things are never said when Charles gets the podium. I think we should all appreciate both drivers for even bagging us points that we NEED! It’s kinda weird to see 16 and 55 fans kinda beef when it’s the end of the race. They both are amazing drivers and 16 fans shouldn’t worry because Charles is still gonna have the seat at the end of the season regardless.

Mercedes (Lewis Hamilton)

I don’t even know where to start. I’m gonna try and keep this short! It’s been hard watching Lewis race this season so far and I know it’s not him. It’s the car. I was hoping for a better race result because of the record he woulda broke if winning (a girl can dream). But man these results been making me feel down because this isn’t the way Lewis starts. He only has 10 points which is so unfamiliar. I wanted him to have a good goodbye before coming to Ferrari. And speaking of that Idk if you all saw about that Question that journalist asked Lewis which caused him to walk out during a post race interview today. Knowing Lewis I know he can overcome this challenge but I hope it doesn’t drag him down.

Daniel Riccardo and Yuki:

CONGRATULATIONS TO YUKI! Getting points during home race I love that for him so much! He’s been performing amazing and hopefully he gets that Red Bull seat! (You never know). No Mr. Riccardo….very sad to see what’s happening but we all knew it was gonna come but his seat is gone. I didn’t want it to end like this but it’s too clear. I will never forget the things he’s achieved while being F1 but no matter how hard he tried the stars are not aligning for him.

Williams:

Gonna keep it short! But proud of Logan for his time in the race. He sadly didn’t bag points but it’s the fact he stuck through for Williams while Albon DNF. I hope to see him keep approving I’ve been seeing g too much hate on him recently because of how he performed in practices. But Logan isn’t a terrible driver and I have nothing but faith.

ALRIGHT!! Just a small rant session didn’t wanna yap too much! Might come back with more but idk! Peace and blessings hope everyone has a great day <3

[maccreadysbaby]

I’m so sad crow broke down and the guardian wasn’t there to help! Can you write a Drabble where a gn guardian is? I’d love to see some heavy platonic affection!!!!!!!!!

yes!

for anyone who may be confused, this ask is based off of the quote, “A lot of attitude for somebody who broke down crying last time we were here,” by Nightmare Uldren to Crow during Season of the Haunted. I’ve only watched videos that aren’t edited great so, I’m probably DIVERGING FROM CANON. Who woulda thought. Putting the breakdown at the time when Crow fails the severance and it says he’s sobbing in the captions. (They do exist. They are canon)

Little Guardian™︎

The Guardian pressed ahead, jogging through the underbelly of the Leviathan as they helped with the severances. The entire situation was nothing short of horrifying. Their friends, facing their pasts, their deepest fears head on. It made them wish they could do more. Anything more. The Nightmares — well, Crow’s nightmare — loved to speak. And he was eating the Guardian’s very last nerve at the moment.

“So, Guardian…” Nightmare Uldren started through the comms, a venomous tinge to his otherwise familiar voice differentiating it from that of their friend. “The Crow wants to be me, or he’s afraid he already is?”

The Guardian rolled their eyes as they continued through the ship, not caring enough about the dreaded Nightmare’s manipulation to work up a response.

“Is there a third option?” Crow muttered in reply.

Nightmare Uldren hummed. “Mmm, languish in your miserable limbo of a life? The Scorn will drag you into mine, eventually.”

The urge to bite back at him rose up in the Guardian’s throat, but they thought better of it. Mostly because Crow beat them to it.

“Those Eliksni deserved to rest in peace! What you did to them… I would never,”

The Nightmare chuckled on the other end. “We raised them. Gave them another chance. I thought you were all about second chances.”

The Guardian huffed as the comms fell silent for a while, and then, suddenly, they weren’t anymore.

“Where did those Scorn come from?” Crow murmured. The Nightmare took the chance to dig his claws in again:

“I told you: our prodigal children, returning to their father. Can’t you hear them calling?” The vile, pure hatred in his voice seemed to double. “Why did you abandon us?”

The Guardian’s feet skidded to a stop on the metal floor when they heard Crow cry out, the familiar sound of the Golden Gun being drawn and fired ringing through their comms.

“Crow?” They questioned. Their voice went unheard.

“Ow,” The Nightmare sighed. “You’re awfully bitter.”

Crow was panting, choking out words on the other end of the comms. “Damn right I’m bitter. You had everything, and you set it on fire for her!”

The Guardian subconsciously had a battle, fighting everything inside of them as they pressed on. All they needed was to get to Crow. All they needed was to do the severance. Nightmare Uldren was going to destroy him.

They couldn’t stand by and let him be destroyed.

The Guardian did what they had to. Fought. But the entire time, their mind was lingering on Crow.

“I’m… losing… I’m losing it!” He shouted.

“You can endure this,” Eris called in response.

The Guardian fought through their nerves, trying their very hardest just to fight back to Crow. They needed him. He needed them. Nightmare Uldren needed to go.

As they finally slaughtered the last of their enemies, they jogged into the room, panic and anger radiating through their veins as soon as they saw Crow. Hands and knees on the floor, Nightmare Uldren hovering above him.

“Fikrul’s alone. Hated, just like you were,” The red and black horror spoke. “You can help him, but you just… don’t. Because it’s one more step towards me. It’s why you won’t help our sister either. After everything Mara’s done for us.”

As the Guardian drew nearer, they spotted the tearstreaks glistening on Crow’s face. He was staring at the floor, baring down against the metal with his hands. “I don’t want her help!” He choked, sucking in a breath that turned more into a hiccup.

“This isn’t a knife fight, Crow. Accept his words. Move through them,” Eris ordered. Crow sat up straighter, sniffing.

“No! No. I’m going to enjoy ripping him out of me,” He ordered, bringing his hands up to grip at the front of his cloak. The Guardian stepped forward but stopped in their tracks. As much as they wanted to help him, he needed to do this himself.

“Try,” The Nightmare spat. “I’ll just burrow back in. Over and over, until I’m all you have.”

“I-“ Crow let out a strangled sob, struggling to find his words for a moment. “Eris… what do I do?”

“Retreat is not weakness. Breathe. We can try again, in time,”

Crow lifted a hand to his cloak again, tugging at the front as soft, muffled sobs wracked his body. The Guardian finally did what they’d been refraining from doing the entire time: they hurried over to him.

“Look, Crow. It’s your little Guardian,” The Nightmare chuckled. “Here to make you feel all better.”

The Guardian sent the Nightmare a well-aimed middle finger as they dropped to their knees next to Crow. He was crying — one hand tugging at his cloak, the other, gripping at the metal beneath him. He didn’t dare meet their eyes, but instead, kept his closed as his tears tapped quietly on the floor.

“Crow,” They said quietly, scooting so their knees were nearly touching his. They lifted their hands to his head, placing one on each side. “You’re not him. You’re never going to be him.”

He gritted his teeth, a violent sob jerking his body forward slightly. He moved his hand from the floor to their arm, gripping it. He wasn’t calming down — in fact, he only seemed to be crying harder now that they were in front of him. “I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you down.”

“Don’t even think for a second that you let me down,” They ordered, shifting into a position where they could sit comfortably in front of him. He still wouldn’t look up at them, so they dipped their head down in an attempt to meet his irises. He looked away. “You could never let me down, Crow.”

“Of course you let them down. When you killed Cayde-6. Remember?” The Nightmare spat from behind the Guardian. “Hard to forget the reason your precious little Guardian killed you in the first place.”

Crow withdrew his hand from the Guardian’s arm at the Nightmare’s words, but they reached out and latched onto his wrists in response. He finally looked up at them. His orange eyes were dull at the same time they shone with tears, his face wet from crying. He only lasted a moment looking at them until he turned his head to the side.

“You didn’t kill Cayde. He did,” The Guardian tried. Crow weaseled his wrists out of their grip, so their hands traveled to his face instead. They gently turned it back toward them, his orange eyes flicking back to theirs momentarily. “Look at me. You aren’t him. Everything that happened before — that’s his fault, not yours. Not yours.”

He leaned into their touch slightly, his hands drifting up to rest on their arms. He opened his mouth to speak to no avail, fresh tears still streaming down his face as much as he tried to stop them. The Guardian leaned closer to him.

“You’re my friend. I trust you. I’m not disappointed in you… I… love you,” They muttered. Crow’s heavy breath’s hitched for a moment, orange eyes flicking up to them in shock. They heard Nightmare Uldren chuckling, obviously working up another comment, so they kept talking. “I love you, Crow. I didn’t take you from the Spider so I could spite you. I did it because you’re a good person. Your sense of justice. Your compassion, your sympathy. You’re good. You’re not like him, and you need to understand that.”

Crow stared for a moment. The Guardian’s hands stayed put on the sides of his face, and his grip tightened on their arms until a new wave of tears brimmed in his eyes — not from the Nightmare, but from what they said.

He looked back down at the floor, bringing his hands to his face in an attempt to hide the fact that they’d made him cry this time. The Guardian pulled him into their chest, wrapping him securely in their arms.

“They’re lying,” Was all the Nightmare could come up with in that moment. “You’re not good, you’re me.”

The Guardian let their hand travel up and down his back, the other resting on the back of his head. “I love you, Crow.” They repeated. Hopefully, their words would help to drown Uldren out.

“I-I love you, too,” He muttered into their armor, his voice coming out soft and muffled. Nightmare Uldren groaned, a gust of wind sourcing from behind the Guardian as he disappeared in an angry haze. Crow moved his arms from over his face to around their torso, gripping their cloak in his hands until his knuckles turned white. They could still hear him crying quietly, but the tears weren’t as heavy-laden as before.

“Everything I said is true, and more,” They whispered, brushing their hand through his hair gently. “You just gotta believe it, too.”

His grip around them tightened, and he sniffed a few times, too emotional to work up a response. And that was okay.

[fangirleaconmigo]

As I watched Blood Origin I took notes. They are silly and disjointed bullet points and here they are:

(My full review is HERE)

Ep One

Shit, that's intense. My bard is having a bad time.

Hi Minnie Driver!

Wait. Why would Geralt hate that? (were they saying he'd hate an elf being the first witcher? V confused. Why would he hate that?)

So Fjall was too slutty to be a bodyguard.

Glad pretty girl didn’t get punished for helping the little girl.

Hmmm the princess doesn’t want to just be a baby factory. Word. I get it.

Michelle Yeoh!!!!

Wow the princess really flat out murdered her brother.

Girl, you don’t get a nation when you kill their king it’s not that simple.

MICHELLE YEOH I hope we get to see more of that.

Ep 2

Is she talking to her hammer? I love her already.

Fjall and Éile are they tied by destiny? How?

I juuuuuuuuust realized that sellswords don’t sell swords in the literal sense. I don't know why I thought that. This is all making a lot more sense.

I like the failed romance in the beginning. Hey folks, even if you fall in love with a brother murdering evil chick, life goes on. Second chances, etc. etc.

If they kill off Scían this fast I’m gonna be annoyed

Oh Hi Avallac'h. Avallac'h is like ummmmmm I’m regretting this shit (he is just a babby)

Merwyn is determined to survive, I like that. I like that in my evil women.

Eredin has a knife to a hotties throat saying 'you fucked me'(gaygayhomosexualgay?)

Oooooohhhhh

Actual real gay

Nice

Yes. Welcome to the family Eredin.

Brother Death called Fjall Square jaw-all the flirting! (Fjall is very flirt-withable imo)

Holy fuck Éile burning folks. That's hardcore, girl. Good thing that you ran away.

Winterberry and lilac CREEPY but revenge cool. Also, LILAC AND GOOSEBERRIES

Uh oh is Balor giving her those kids. That's rude.

I assume true sacrifice comes from within means Balor has to kill someone he cares about. If I was that girl with him I'd be pretty worried right now.

Eredin done in by the most obvious “spy” who literally ran right into him. He’s dickmatized or something. Himbo?

DONT TOUCH EILE YOU FUCKERS

Ep 3

Yesss love Meldof YET AGAIN

Poison a sheep and feed it to it, yes reference to the books.

Wow, girl (Zacare I looked it up) is throwing that “not really family” in his (Syndril, I looked it up) face fast ain't she. Found family gets lost fast when shit gets real.

Solryth? Is this empress chick talking to the brother she killed??? Girl? Do you think he wants to hear from your ass??? He's in the great beyond cursing your name.

Awww Fjall being protective

Even if you fell into a bucket of tits you’d come up holding a cock (is Meldof calling him gay?)

Ooooo no secret entrance?!?! Damn you Fjall. Just full of piss and vinegar barreling forward with nothing but guts and good cleavage.

Awwwww I love that the mage sees him as he is.

Éile sings

Such pretty voice Fjall is down bad.

As he should be, as am I.

Girl, he is not gonna let you be the first witcher. Not after you sang that. Please be real.

I love an 'end of the world about to die shag and party' episode.

We gettin a witcher, folks.

Ugh I hope Scían doesn’t betray them. I think she’s just getting them a way in tho.

Empress really thinks she’s gonna hit it again with Fjall? THIS CHICK. LMAOOOO She just has no concept of her actions having consequences does she.

She looks hella cool in her fancy armor tho.

She’s actually quite good at this. Making deals. Knowing what people want and offering it to them.

Yeah he’s gonna kill Fenrik I knew that from when he killed the kids

Ep 4

Avalac'h is a sad lil loser boy pobrecito

Eredin thinks he won’t risk Fenrik? You a dummy hunny

I woulda given Avallac'h more time rather than run back to Balor. I mean he's just a babby, he's gonna be badass folks.

Oh no he's hulking out. Look out empress girl.

“You’re a monster”

UH OH BETA RUN GRL BETTA RUN he kills those things now.

Why are his eyes black? Potions make eyes black?

OH YOU DUMMIES YOU THINK SCÍAN CANT TAKE TWO OF YOU?? FOOLS

Damn, lark. Éile really broke down the difference between a feminist and a girlboss to Miss Empress then stuck her. That was a clever way around making her badass but not 100% a murderer.

Balor killed that soldier for zero reason. This is just not a good person.

WOOPS HULK BOY Sun's gettin real low.

Wow Éile is pregnant? I thought that witchers were sterile. Maybe that's a thing the mages did.

I already knew Ciri was her descendant because people on twitter were shitting their pants because the actress is Black. I mean, don't they know how genes work? You can get a blondie in that span of time? Its centuries? And her child's already gonna be half Fjall, so idk, people cannot be normal about Black women I cannot fathom it.

And there's Mr. Joey again, we always love to see him.

The end. That was fun. Might watch again.

[oh-three]

Secret Invasion S1E1:

.

There’s something really heartbreaking about the Skrulls turning on the humans to take their planet, when humans were the ones who’d helped them with the Kree. Like, ouch, man. Thought we were friends.

Damn, Prescod. You had that coming, leave Ross alone.

Killing someone when you’re on the run seems like a bad idea, ngl.

Ross is not having a good night Lmao.

Talos wtf. Way to make an entrance. There’s some real tension going on between the Skrulls right now if Talos is chasing one of his own guys so hard the dude falls off a building. I take back what I said about Prescod, poor dude.

Oooh, look at these titles. Okay, they are kinda long tho

Welcome back, Fury. Aww, he got a hug.

It’s so cool seeing Fury and Talos together again. They’ve become such good friends.

Wait, Soren’s dead? And his daughter up and left? Poor Talos.

Damn, and he’s in exile too. This guy’s life is not going great recently. No wonder he looks so awful.

Rhodey! Stop reporting your old friends.

Fury, Talos literally warned you. Dude’s lucky they weren’t Skrulls.

I…don’t like Sonya.

The person leading the “New Skrullos” group. Definitely Talos’s daughter. And definitely on the antagonistic side, I think, though they’re like the Flag Smashers and aren’t completely heartless. They mean well for those like them. Yeahhh, they are. Nice… Oh shit, the subtitles just confirmed it’s her. The angst we’ll get when Talos and Fury run into her later on…

There’s actually something nostalgically wholesome about seeing all the kids playing at the resistance’s base. Despite knowing the plans of the adults.

Lmaoooo Fury and Talos banter. I love them.

There’s something incredibly mundane about watching Nick Fury make popcorn. And offering some to Hill.

Wait, they’re running into G'iah sooner that I thought.

TALOS IS HOW OLD????

I never thought about how Skrulls age. 136 not even being the human equivalent of forty? Sir, your body is like fifty. They span centuries.

“Midlife crisis shopping spree” I love Talos so much.

“What did you get for yours?” “The Avengers.” LMAO. Yeah, bet he spent a lot on them, especially cleaning up their messes.

Bro threw my boy through a concrete pillar. Ouch.

That defeated look on his face…Talos is really not doing good these days. He wanted a small win to make the devastation feel less, and he couldn’t even have that. (Thanks for saving him, Fury, really, he woulda died), I’m so sad for him.

Hill just got her ass kicked by a teenage Skrull.

Talos having to tell his daughter that her people killed her mother. 😭

Fury is so tired, man. He and Talos are both in such poor shape, I’m glad they’re comign back together for one more fight. They both need this- each other, and justice. Peace. They’ve been fighting all their lives, these two.

“G'iah’s come back.” Honestly the best thing that’s happened to Talos since Carol saved his people. Give this man his daughter back.

Scary little kid with a rainbow ball. Definitely a Skrull. Fury, it’s a trap, please don’t

Ah, shit, decoys. There’s something very resentful about Gravik hitting the detonator in front of Fury like that.

NO.

HILL.

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT. HOW DARE THEY.

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.72--Episodes 15-16

I have watched through S7E16; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—Flynn’s Barcade. Love me a TRON reference. Those movies were brilliant.

—Also, now I know that Hook apparently plays pinball.

—Woulda been funny if Rumple had the high score on Galaga. Can I really see him playing video games? Probably not. Would it be funny anyway? Yes, yes it would.

—I adore Drizella’s fashion sense. She’s very chic. The miniskirts are fun, and they’ve got cute patterns and different textures. And I love how she wears black tights and black shoes together, it looks great.

—I don’t think I really believe that she could fend off a killer like that, but as long as she and her sister get to be together in another world I can excuse the bogusness that got them there.

—Zelena’s last name being West in Hyperion Heights is almost as stupid as Belle’s last name being French.

—The second episode 15 ended, I galaxy-brained and realized that Nick/Jack was Hansel. I’m glad I’m finally getting back my intuitive touch—I should hate for it to be predictable, but I feel honestly brilliant whenever I accurately forecast a plot twist in this show.

—Having a piratey adventure was fun. Even if most of it was fake. Also, it was really considerate of Hook to set up that entire venture just to help Henry find a ring he thought was worthy of Cinderella. I didn’t think about it before, but it must be hard for him to be compared to original Hook. He’s a good guy in his own right, though, and it’s about time Henry figured that out.

—Hook is totally gorgeous with his hair all wet and sticking to his face. Storms look good on him.

—Considering Davy Jones was a pirate, wouldn’t it be fun if Hook was like a long-lost legacy of his?

—Rumple telling Henry that Henry Mills was his favorite character in the book was sweet. Sad, too, because he had to skirt the truth, but he was still trying to bolster his grandson’s spirits, but it was terribly sweet.

—Actually, it’s really sad how so many people have to keep the truth from the others around them. Regina can’t talk to Henry mother-to-son. Zelena can’t tell Robin the truth, even though it’s hurting their relationship. (At least they know they’re mother and daughter, though. That’s a bonus.) Even Lucy has to keep secrets from her mom and dad, despite the fact that she’s trying to either get them together or keep them apart. And Rumple has to withhold the truth from Henry, *and* he knows that Alice is Hook’s daughter and he can’t tell, even if he does try to help their relationship along.

—Rumple gluing the teacup back together made me sad.

—It’s hilarious that Hook made Alice get a job because she ate everything in his fridge.

—The string of lights in Tiana’s food truck being chili-shaped is awesome. I wonder where, if at all, one could find those fr?

—Alice is adorable. I love the way she pronounces beignets. You know what, I don’t have all the details on their relationship before the curse, but it would just slap if Alice and Robin broke the curse with True Love’s Kiss.

—Gosh, Rumple’s even kinda got the bi sitting thing down.

—I love that Rumple is committed to being good now, even with Belle gone. That light in him is beautiful.

—See, it’s nice to see Regina being happy in her relationship with Dr. Facilier, but I don’t even trust him as far as I can throw him, and honeys that ain’t far.

—I want neither Henry nor Zelena to kick the bucket. That would be 0/10, not at all cool.

—Regina was wearing a real gorgeous pair of magenta boots. I like about half of her new wardrobe, and those boots totally make the list.

—Maybe Henry and Cinderella should stop focusing so much on whether or not the signs are telling them to be together, and instead take a good long think about why they want the signs so desperately. I mean, I love soulmates and destiny and that kind of stuff, but sometimes you have to get off your keister and get it done yourself.

—Pardon me for saying it, but this season has got me feeling some kind of way about Hook and Rumple. A shipping kind of way, if you catch my drift. I don’t care if it’s a popular opinion or an unpopular one, but their dynamic is pretty different in this season, what with Rumple being good and Hook not remembering that he hated Rumple back in the day, and they’ve got some tension but they also get along pretty well....Idk, if you don’t like it, then feel free to ignore this particular opinion, because it’s only one of many I have and it’s not exactly the kind of hill I want to die on, but I do find myself enjoying this new perspective.

Little off-topic, but today I watched episodes of 7th Heaven and ER with Raphael Sbarge (Dr. Hopper) in them, and boy am I living. He’s just been cute his whole goshdarn life, hasn’t he! (Tho it kinda threw me for a loop the first time I saw him without glasses.) I’ve gotta find a way to watch Star Trek: Voyager, because he’s in like five episodes of that, and I just adore him. And, as an added bonus, the episode of ER that came on after the one with Raphael Sbarge had Eion Bailey (August/Pinocchio) in it, which is yes.

Also, I’m annoyed at Prime Video, because I would love to watch The Full Monty (my mom even said she would watch it with me) but it’s only available for pay. It bothers me how we pay for streaming services, in order to get access to a whole load of stuff, and then there’s still stuff locked behind a paywall. I guess it’s a better business model, but still. And yes, I would be watching that movie for Robert Carlyle and Robert Carlyle only.

[absolutepokemontrash]

I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

[trueshellz]

Hello! Can I request Osamu and Kuroo finding out their S/O has trouble functioning recently. Like usually they're working a lot and being productive but now they're burnt out – no motivation, skipping meals, can't sleep, etc. If this is too much, please feel free to ignore! Thank you!

Thank you for the request! 💜

Osamu

You had always been good at hiding your stress from your family and it was no different when you started dating. Work had been more stressful than usual, there had been lots of looming deadlines and the change in management meant that the new person was trying to leave their mark on the company. Being a perfectionist, you didn't want your work scrutinised and had taken to working long hours with little sleep.

Osamu was aware of this, knowing to keep his distance when you had lots to do. Not because he didn't like your job, but more so that you would get little done, instead playing games or making out. You had planned to see him properly but he would always pop in during the early evening to drop off some food for you.

What you hadn't shared with him was how stressed you had felt. Instead of eating, the food had been piling up untouched. You were up most of the night working on the changes coming through from the new manager and relied on coffee and caffeine pills to help. When going into work had become too stressful, you had taken some time off to recover and focus on yourself. But this had just made you fall into a dark hole. You spent all day in pyjamas, barely eating still and slept most of the day. You didn't know how to tell your hardworking boyfriend how you felt, especially since he was so busy with the shop. If he could manage a business you should be able to do your job right?

It was the second week of not seeing you daily, Osamu was starting to get worried. You had told him that you were staying with family for a bit as you had been stressed with work and didn't want to take time away from him setting his restaurant up. You still spoke everyday, less so on video or the phone but your text conversations went on for ages.

"Osamu! How are you?"

Glancing up, he saw your parents approaching the shop as he was putting up a notice board. They had known for a while that you had been dating, being supportive of you both and the relationship between you had been great.

"I'm ok. How are you both? How's my lovely girlfriend doing?"

The shock on their faces was almost palatable, they both looked at each other confused before turning back to him.

"We've not spoken to her for about 3 weeks. She said she was staying at her apartment as she had deadlines to meet and needed to focus. You know how her siblings are when she's home."

"But..."

Osamu felt his heart stop as your parents told him what else you had said. The worst thoughts going through his mind as he listened half-heartedly to them. There was no reason to lie to him or your parents. He couldn't think of why you had spun this story to lie to everyone.

Waving farewell to your parents, his thoughts swirling around his head as he finished work and tidied up the shop. By the time he locked up, he was just angry at you. How dare you lie to him? You knew how much he valued truthfulness and honesty.

Storming to you apartment, he planned his conversation in his head. He was going to confront you about lying to your parents, lying to him and about not spending time with him. If you didn't want to date him, you should have just said. Knocking on your door, he waited for you to answer but there was nothing, the lights were off and he couldn't see inside. He didn't like using the spare key you gave him, not wanting to be that boyfriend who didn't trust their partner. But it seemed like he had no choice.

Unlocking your front door, he was shocked to see your post on the floor, more than would accumulate from a day or two. Walking through and calling our your name, he could see the apartment was messy too. The food he had been sending on the worktops, work papers all over the floor and your curtains were all closed too. He kept calling your name until he reached your room, hoping to hear you reply. Were you unwell? Why hadn't you told him? He would have helped you, looked after you.

You had been in bed all day, apart from a quick shower and eating a banana, the energy you usually had had completely depleted. Everything hurt. Arms. Legs. Head. Back. Your eyeballs hurt. How was that even possible? You thought you heard your name being called but figured it was just your mind playing tricks on you. It wasn't until your bedroom door opened and Osamu's face came into your peripheral vision did you really start to panic.

"'Samu... I... what?"

All thoughts of reprimanding you flew straight out the window when he saw you. Osamu actually felt his stomach drop. Your usually bright and cheerful face was dull, your eyes were sunken and you had bags under them, he was sure you'd lost weight and didn't even want to ask when you had last eaten.

"Baby."

That one word was enough to have you breaking down into tears, not pretty ones, loud and gut wrenching sobs as he rushed over and pulled you close. Yep, definitely lost weight. His chin resting on your head as he shushed you, arms wrapped around you tightly as he rubbed your back. Your tears soaking the front of his jacket, hand curled in his top as if he'd disappear. You hadn't realised how much you missed him until he appeared in front of you.

"Baby, why didn't ya tell me? I woulda come sooner."

You shook your head, unable to form words he he climbed into bed with you. Pulling you forward so you lay on him, his arms wrapped around you as you lay there. For a long time neither of you spoke, content to lay there while your breathing settled back down and eventually falling asleep again. As you did, he couldn't help but shed a few tears at the sight of seeing you so exhausted and broken, especially after he thought the worst, made him feel like shit. How could he have been so blind? He should have seen something was wrong?

"'Samu?" He felt you move and sit up, instead pushing your head back onto his chest, he cuddled you close and squeezed you lightly.

"I'm here, baby. Don't worry."

"'M sorry."

"For what?"

"Lying."

If he hadn't cried already, he was sure you were going to make him cry again. Closing his eyes against the tears, he propped you up so you could look down at him. Brushing the hair behind your ears, he thumbed your cheek lovingly before kissing you softly.

"I wish ya'd told me, baby. I woulda helped. I woulda checked on ya more and-"

"I didn't want to burden you. You've been busy with the shop and I just... didn't want to seem like I couldn't manage. And then it just got so much and I didn't know how to fix it."

Sitting up, Osamu pulled you into his lap so you were say sideways and rocked you gently as he spoke.

"Ya never have to be sorry for shit like this. If I'd known, I woulda come sooner. Baby, ya had me worried. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to ya. Listen to me, ya never gonna be alone ok? Let me help ya baby. Lemme take some of the burden ok?" When you shook your head, he smiled and continued. "I love ya baby. It's my job to help ya."

"How?"

"Come stay with me for a bit? Even if ya never leave ya room or wanna stay in bed, ya won't be alone. I'll be there to help."

"I don't-"

"Please baby. If nothing else, I'll know that yer OK. That yer not alone and sad. All by yerself thinking that no one cares. Please?"

Kuroo

It was the autumn term and you were struggling. You weren’t sure what it was about this weather that just drained you of energy, the lack of light or the cold seeping into your bones. The idea of having dark mornings and dark evenings made your mood sour and no matter what you did, it wasn’t getting any better. You knew you had work that needed doing, your to do list steadily getting bigger and your will to donit getting smaller.

You had been off school for a week now, with Kuroo away at traing camp he was none the wiser. You were able to hide your troubles from him, he would call in the evening which would he the time you got home. He was always so cheerful, face lit up with his stories about his day and games. Often you would have his teammates crash the call and hear the mayhem as he tried to wrestle the phone away from them.

Last night, Lev had stolen the phone and started complaining about being picked on. As much as you loved your boyfriend, Lev was a sweetheart and you had a huge soft spot for him. Kuroo had wrestled the phone away from him and you watched the fight ensue in the background. With so much going on, it was easy to divert the attention away from yourself, load all the focus on his team and their game today.

Glancing at the clock, you knew the team would be on their way back by now. It was the afternoon and school was still in full force, the homework from last week still on your desk and your phone full of messages from friends asking where you were. Soon you heard Kuroo's special ringtone light up your phone. He would always message you after a match and meet with you, walking you home at the end of the day while filling you in about the camp. You would pick up snacks on the way and the lounge around on the sofa watching movies together. But today? You just couldn't do it.

Kuroo was confused and worried. Not only had you not answered your phone but you weren't in your class. Your friends hadn't heard from you in a while and that wasn't like you. Dialling your number again, he waved goodbye to his teammates before making his way to your house. He was almost there, turning back at the last minute to grab your favourite flowers and food from your local shop.

Arriving at your house, he could see that the lights were off but your car was parked outside. Calling you again, he could hear your phone ring from inside the house but you made no attempt to answer it. Banging on the door, he waited and waited. Tension growing by the minute when you didn't appear.

"Kitten! I can hear your phone ringing. Answer the door."

You knew you should answer it, you phone had rang about twelve times and you had about twenty messages as well as four voicemails. Dragging yourself out of bed, you went to your window and peered out, seeing his dark hair as he bent over his phone. The image tugged at your heart, you could see his brows furrowed as he bounced on his toes. A sure sign that he was anxious and worried.

"Kitten. Open the door. I can see your shadow in the window."

You tensed as he said that, begrudgingly walking to the door and bracing yourself against it. Tears forming in your eyes as you thought about how you worried everyone, how much of a letdown you were and how unreliable.

"Baby." His voice was softer now, closer too. "Open the door. I'm worried about you. Lemme at least see you ok? If you wanna be alone afterwards, I'll leave."

Cracking the door open a few centimetres, you peered through and saw Kuroo's face. It instantly softened, you felt your eyes fill with tears as he reached across and ran his thumb under your eyes, most probably seeing the dark circles you had. Letting him push the door open further, you let him pull you into a hug. His arms wrapping securely around your body as you fell into him, his voice a low shushing in your ear and it was then that you realised you were crying. Tears tracking down your face and soaking his jersey as you stood.

"Kitten, I gotcha. I'll always be here for you. Shhh. Don't cry baby. You're breaking my heart here. Let's get you inside yeah? I bought some food and we can lounge around like always." He pulled away and a look of panic crossed his face. "If that's what you want. If not, I'll go. I don't wanna intrude or-"

"No, Tetsu. I'd love to have you here... but, I'm not in a great place. I don't wanna-"

"Baby listen, my heart is wherever you are. If you're hurting, I'm hurting too. We'll get through this together ok? Let's stay in bed, watch some movies and eat our body weight in junk. If you're feeling up to it tomorrow, we'll organise things yeah? School work. Homework. Whatever. I'm back now, you don't have to do this alone."

[mamabearcat]

9: a missing moment from canon 💜

Okay. Sorry in advance. This ended up a lot angstier than I'd planned.

The thing is, Kagome is a modern girl in a very violent and unforgiving time period, and I'm sure she saw a lot of things that she wasn't emotionally prepared for. And she's such an empathic character, she would take those situations to heart, and they would affect her a lot.

I'm going to put this under a read more. Contains a death (not main character) and canon level violence. I'm going to put it in my AO3 one-shot collections as well.

“Kagome? Can I get the kettle out of your backpack?”

Kagome startled at the sound of Sango’s voice so close to her, and the soft touch of a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly she realised that everyone had been setting up the camp around her while she’d been sitting on a tree root, silently staring into space.

“Oh Sango-chan, I’m sorry, let me help!”

Sango smiled at her wanly, her lips barely turning up at the corners, squeezing Kagome’s shoulder gently.

“It’s fine Kagome-chan. Just rest here a moment.”

“O-okay.”

And she was left alone with her thoughts again. Swirling thoughts she didn’t really want. Thoughts she wished she could bleach out of her mind, like Mama did with the stains on white tablecloths. Soak her whole self in a bucket of bleach to be hung out on the line, and go back to being sunny carefree Kagome, who’s main worry of the week was if she managed to remember the quadratic equation for that math quiz. Not the Kagome who had just seen that village. That hut. Not the Kagome who had held that boy. Not the Kagome who… killed.

*

“Here, there’s someone alive over here!” Shippou called out frantically, his tiny paws incapable of pulling aside the ruins of the toppled and still smouldering hut. In a flash Inuyasha was there, lifting heavy boards, kicking aside matting and broken furniture until he could make his way inside.

“Inuyasha!”

Kagome followed him into the partially collapsed hut, medical kit in hand, but Inuyasha turned to block her view.

“Don’t go in Kagome, you can’t do no good in there.”

There was a faint, gurgling cry, and Kagome slipped under his outstretched arm to glance around the room. There had been fire. There were arrows. There was blood. There was a woman, her eyes open but no longer seeing, her torn clothing no longer protecting either her modesty or the horrific end she had come to. And there was a boy.

He was young, probably around Souta’s age. But the gash across his throat and horrific burns covering half his face and chest made him look monstrous, and Kagome had to clench her teeth hard against the bile forcing it’s way up her throat. The smell was horrific, and she panted for a moment as she knelt next to the boy, trying to get herself under control. His one eye focused on her face.

“Ma…” he gurgled. Kagome glanced aside to the woman on the floor and then back to the boy, concentrating her gaze on the unmarked side of his face, smoothing the blood soaked hair off his forehead as she gathered her courage, then forced herself to take stock of his injuries for a moment. She blinked quickly, fighting back tears. Even if she tried to treat those burns, the amount of blood he’d lost from where his throat was cut, the actual cut itself – she had no way to fix this. Even a modern hospital would have trouble fixing this. She took a deep breath.

“I’m Kagome, and I’m going to give you something to take the pain away”, she said softly.

She reached into her medical kit and took out the tiny dark bottle that Kaede had given her. The one that came with extremely strict instructions and should only be used in very specific circumstances. There was no way she could save this boy. Left for dead by samurai soldiers and then horrifically burnt by the hut they’d set alight. The hut that had once been his home, his safe place. They had arrived too late to help, long after the samurai had left. She couldn’t do anything to take those violent memories away for him. But at least she could take his pain away.

Being as gentle as she could she dribbled the mixture into the child’s mouth, humming softly to him and stroking back his hair as she waited for the medicine to take effect. Gradually the ragged breathing slowed and his eye rolled back as a great sigh, and then another left his body.

Her trembling hand slid down his face to close his eye as the silent tears came. Tears for a little boy she would never know, a boy from a different time, but who in essence was probably very similar to the little brother she loved.

Inuyasha stood behind her silently, waiting for her to be ready to move aside. For a while, he’d sat in the hut with Kagome and the boy, listening to her quiet hum and the gasping breaths of the boy, watching the movement of the gentle hand. But in the end, he hadn’t been able to sit still any longer, his fingers twitching helplessly, and had gone outside to dig the graves. At least with that he was useful.

When Kagome finally wobbled to her feet, he picked up the little boy, barely a weight in his arms, and carried him outside to place in the grave. When he came back for the mother, Kagome had found a charred blanket to wrap her in, and had closed her eyes.

When the graves for all the villagers had been filled and Miroku had chanted the sutras, with Sango laying some wildflowers she’d managed to find not far away, Kagome had leaned on Inuyasha bonelessly, holding Shippou in her arms. It felt like she should still be crying, but her tears had dried up to be replaced by a feeling of emptiness. A hollow rage that had no where to go.

And that rage still filled her. The unfairness of it. There had been no reason for the people in that small village to have died. There had been barely twenty of them. It had obviously been a small farming community, a poor one, with nothing worth stealing. The only thing stolen had been their lives, their dignity, by men who had no compassion or soul.

“Kagome?”

Little Shippou was standing there in front of her, holding out a plate. Plain rice, with fish cooked over the fire.

But one look at the blackened blistered skin that she usually loved to eat had her bolting into the darkness as far from the camp as she could manage before she collapsed over a large tree root, hurling the meagre contents of her stomach onto the forest floor. The dry sobs came then as she gripped the bark under her fingernails, feeling them bend and crack as she put all her strength into it.

“Hey.”

Inuyasha was there, holding back her hair, his hand warm on her back.

“It’s not fair”, she gasped. “They didn’t deserve that. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not fair”, he said, his usually gruff voice gentle.

“And I know what you’re going to say. And I know it too. I need to be tougher, harder. I need to get used to seeing things like that. I need to be stronger.”

The hand on her back rubbed gently.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything of the sort.”

He sighed then, and she felt herself being pulled backwards into his arms as he picked her up and moved away from the meagre pile of vomit, sitting down against a tree closer to the campsite, holding her tightly against him, kissing her forehead.

“You are a good person Kagome. Kaede woulda done the same.”

“I’m not a good person”, she whispered. “I killed him Inuyasha. That little boy.”

“No you didn’t.” He ignored her shaking head. “He woulda died anyway, all alone. You gave him peace, and you were there for him when he needed someone the most.”

Kagome shut her eyes, and he turned her face to his.

“Look at me. Kagome look at me.”

His eyes were the most earnest she’d ever seen them, and she couldn’t help the small sob that escaped her.

“You don’t need to be hard. You don’t!”

He stroked her hair gently as she pressed her face into his chest, tears streaming.

“Your heart, your… softness. It’s one of the things I like about ya the most. Because that soft heart a yours looked at a shitty hanyou like me and decided I was okay.”

She snorted at him through her tears, pushing at his chest with a weak fist.

“You’re better than okay, dummy!”

“Better than okay”, he chuckled. “I’ll take that. But I'm be'in serious here, you don’t gotta change, alright? Not one bit a you. You stay the same Kagome. I could never have sat beside that kid like you did. You keep be’in you, and I’ll be here to look after you.”

“O-okay…”

They sat silently for a while in the darkness, the only sounds the crackling of the nearby campfire and the wind in the leaves.

“Do ya think you could eat a little, or do ya need to go to sleep.”

“Maybe… just… not the fish.”

“Fair enough. Can ya walk?”

“Yeah.”

When they got back to the campsite, Shippou was crying in Sango’s arms as she murmured soft words to him, and Kagome’s heart lurched. Letting go of Inuyasha’s hand she held out her arms.

“Shippou, I’m okay", she said, trying to make her tone light and encouraging. "You didn’t do anything wrong, I was just sad. But I bet if you gave me a hug, I’d feel much better?”

Seeing her, Shippou bounded over to her and into her arms, hugging her tight, sobbing out his apologies for making her ill, and she hummed to him, stroking his soft hair away from his forehead. Here was a little boy who needed her right now, who she could help. And that made the rage lessen a little.

But she would never forget.

[scapegrace74-blog]

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 4

A/N  Some strong reactions to the last chapter, which I admit caught me by surprise.   Writing is a funny craft, where you spend a lot of time and effort trying to show your reader exactly the picture you have in your mind, but then also have to surrender to each reader’s interpretation of what you wrote.  That said, some interpretations miss the mark entirely, and for that reason this chapter is entitled “False Assumptions”.   Trigger warning for childhood disease.

Jamie’s weekly appointments continued through the grey slumber of late April and into the wakening month of May.  Thursday became Claire’s favourite day of the week, for reasons she didn’t care to scrutinize too closely.

With regularity came a certain brand of predictability.  Their appointments took one of two forms, she realized.  Some days Jamie was full of life, witty and exasperating by turns.  He would spin long yarns about some trivial aspect of his life, fascinating tales that turned out to be nothing more than surface reflections, revealing little of the murky depths beneath.  He was also adept at using his considerable verbal charm to draw her into divulging more about herself than she ought.  Those visits left her equally frustrated and challenged.

The rest of the time her patient arrived with a weary slump, the thousand watt bulb of his personality dimmed to an occasional flicker.  Given his offhand comment about whisky and women, she tried not to ponder if he was hungover or suffering from the effects of an all-night hook-up.  From a diagnostic point of view these days of low ebb were beneficial because Jamie was far more likely to offer some nugget of inner revelation, truth sneaking out through the cracks of his weakened defences.

“I was away on business, in Hong Kong, when my Da passed,” he said on one such afternoon, the skin below his eyes drawn tight and the copper in his hair somehow muted.

“Did it happen suddenly?” 

“No’ really.  Jen had been at me fer months tae come hame, sayin’ that Da was workin’ himself tae death.”   Jamie looked out the window, eyes reflecting the overcast skies beyond.  “I ignored her.  Too wrapped up in my own grand self tae pay any heed.  Twas Ian, my brother-in-law, who called tae say Da had dropped in the pasture.  Massive coronary.  I caught the first flight back, but he was gone before I landed.”

She watched Jamie’s face closely as he spoke, but beyond the understandable emotion of reliving the sudden loss of a parent, he remained inscrutable.  The urge to draw him out overcame the deference she paid to Jamie’s well-defined boundaries.

“Do you think you’re to blame for his death?” she asked, half-expecting to be met with silence or a nimble deflection.

Jamie shook his head ruefully.

“Nah.  I dinna think I’m tae blame.  I ken it.  I was the only surviving son, ye see?  In the Highlands, tradition is everything, an’ a Fraser man had worked those lands fer generations.  I was only meant tae complete my studies abroad, an’ then return tae Lallybroch and take o’er from Da.  Instead, I left my sister an’ Ian tae watch o’er the farm while I played the business tycoon.”

“Is Lallybroch still in your family?” she wondered aloud, the name rolling about in her mouth like marbles.  

“Jenny and Ian couldna keep it.  I wasna well enough tae object, an’ they sold tae a developer.  It’s some kind of corporate wellness retreat now,” he finished with a distasteful grimace.

For every disclosure Jamie made, two more questions arose in its wake, like hacking away at a many-headed Hydra.  She wished she could delve further, but the chime from her computer announced the end of the session.

“Will I see you next week, Jamie?” she asked as he reluctantly rose to leave.

“Aye,” said with a sad smile.  “I’ll be here.”

***

The following Tuesday, Claire took the afternoon off work to perform an errand she’d long been avoiding.

Her departure from the Royal Hospital for Children had been so precipitous, she hadn’t filed the necessary paperwork to close her employment file.  The Human Resources department had been pestering her to complete the process for months.  The threat of holding up the transfer of her accreditation finally forced her hand.

To her great relief, the personnel offices were nowhere near the actual wards.  They lay at the end of a long white hallway broken by large windows looking into a series of meeting and activity rooms.  Her plan was to get in, sign the damn forms, and leave without running into any former colleagues or patients.   

The sun slanting into one of these sparsely furnished rooms glanced off the top of a bent head, causing it to glow like a freshly minted penny.  She stopped and stared, trying to reconcile the image of James Fraser seated in a too-small plastic chair, surrounded by a group of hospital-gowned children.

He must have caught sight of her while she stood gaping.  Running to the door before she could find the motor function to turn around, he called out joyfully from behind a blue hospital mask.

“Doctor Beauchamp!  Fancy meeting ye here.”

She mumbled something incoherent, damning herself for the blush she felt enveloping her cheeks.   Behind Jamie, a row of dewy eyes watched on.   She recognized the paper-thin skin and missing hair of chemotherapy patients, and a salty knot rose in her throat.

“Can ye spare a few minutes? Ye’re jes the pair of steady hands we need.”

She longed to decline, to disappear, to come up with a plausible excuse why she couldn’t enter that room.  Her heart thumped angrily in her chest, warning of its fragile state.

Seeing her conflict, Jamie extended a welcoming hand.

“Come, Sassenach.  The lassies would love tae meet ye.”

The space smelled of sterile laundry and sawdust.  With a habit borne of years of practice, Claire disinfected her hands in the small utility sink and donned a spare mask from the nearby dispenser, all while wondering what the hell she was doing.

The children were seated on colourful chairs arranged around a low table, its surface covered in pieces of pre-cut lumber, colourful pots of paint, a glue gun and all manner of cheap decorations such as you would find at a craft store.  The little girls ranged in age from pre-school to young teen, but they all looked at Jamie as though he’d hung the moon as he addressed them.

“Ladies, I’d like ye tae meet Doctor Beauchamp.  She’s a braw doctor but I bet she kens next tae nothing about woodwork.  Ye’ll have tae show her how it’s done.”

A chorus of nervous giggles was the only response.  Claire knew from experience that being a medical professional wasn’t going to endear her to children who spent much of their lives being essentially tortured in the name of science, hoping for some kind of miracle.

“Hello, everyone,” she waved meekly.  “You can call me Miss Claire, if you like.  Now, whatever are you doing with all this wood?”

It turned out that Jamie was supervising the construction of a half-dozen birdhouses.  He had pre-cut the lumber for easy assembly, but was assisting each girl to create a custom masterpiece that would hang outside her hospital window.  With the patience and steady manner of a primary school teacher, Jamie led the group through each step.  

A waifish girl of perhaps six sat directly to Claire’s left, her bare scalp covered by a brightly coloured bandana, offset by a huge pair of peacock-blue eyes that glimmered above her mask.  Eyes that were the mirror of the ones that visited her office every Thursday.  Something heavy settled inside her ribs.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” she asked in a low voice as she pushed an open pot of sky blue paint away from the table’s edge.  Small hands busied themselves pulling apart a package of cotton balls that looked suspiciously like the ones kept in the hospital’s supply cabinet.

“Margaret Murray, Doctor, errr, Miss Claire,” came the timid reply.  

Not Fraser, then.  But that didn’t necessarily mean anything.  She snuck a glance across the table at Jamie, who was just then teasing the youngest girl by tickling her cheeks with a fake feather.  Despite her heavy thoughts, she couldn’t help but smile.  That smile faltered when she noticed that the inside of Jamie’s elbows bore a matching set of fresh bandages.   A series of puzzle pieces tumbled into place.

Perhaps sensing the weight of her scrutiny, Jamie looked their way, whistling in admiration when he saw Maggie’s near-complete birdhouse.

“Tis a fine hame ye’ve built fer yer wee birds, Maggie.  What is all yon white fluff for?”

“Tis clouds, Uncle Jamie,” Maggie replied with the certainty of childhood.  “I dinna want the birdies tae miss the sky, even when they arenna flyin’.”

Claire watched the words hit him as surely as though they had been bullets.  A frozen gasp, a shudder that travelled the length of his body and the crest of tears that he tried valiantly to blink away.

“Aye, ye’re right, a nighean.  Any bird would be fair honoured tae sleep in yer skyhouse,” he managed to reply, voice bouldery with contained emotion.

When each birdhouse was complete and left along the window ledge to dry, Jamie set his small crew of helpers the task of clearing up the mess.   Claire stood next to him as he loaded his tools back into a small carrying case.

“Thanks for inviting me to join you, Jamie.  It was... well, it was unexpectedly wonderful,” she admitted.

“Ye’re most welcome, Doctor Beauchamp.  We couldna have managed wi’out yer steady hand manning the glue gun,” he teased.

“You’re not my patient here, Jamie.  You don’t need to use my title,” she said, a bit vexed by his formality.

“Aye, but it doesna feel right tae call ye by yer given name either.  An’ Miss Claire is jes weird.”

She had to acknowledge that he had a point.

“What was it you called me earlier?  Sassa-something?”

“Sassenach.  My Da woulda skelped my hide if he heard me call a lady by that name,” he said ruefully.

“Why, does it mean something terribly offensive?”  She was almost afraid to know, having enjoyed the delusion that Jamie felt as fondly towards her as she did towards him.

“Nah, tis jes an old-fashioned word for an English person in Scotland.  Seemed tae suit ye, is all.”  He shrugged, seemingly embarrassed by the explanation.

“Well then, Sassenach it is.  When I’m not on the clock, that is.”

Jamie’s eyes danced above his mask the way they did when he smiled, and she imagined hers replied in much the same way.  A long moment passed when nothing was said, neither of them looking away.

“You’re her platelet donor,” she said at last.  “Maggie’s, I mean.”

“Aye.  Every week while she’s in hospital for chemotherapy.  Tis the least I can do.”

It was an explanation that fit all the facts, but one that she never would have guessed.  Jamie had always worn long sleeves to his appointments, but she was certain the weeks when he was haggard and worn out coincided with the times he was donating the litres of blood necessary to distill into the platelet concentrate that would then be injected into Maggie’s body, helping her combat the poisonous effects of her chemotherapy.

“Whisky, women and song?” she prodded, relieved and yet frustrated that his offhand comment had kept her from seeing the truth.  “Why didn’t you just tell me, Jamie?”

“I didna want yer pity, Sassenach.  Fer once in my life, tis no’ about me, ye ken?  I didna want ye lookin’ at me like I was some kind of hero.”

She held back her reaction that his was a textbook definition of heroism, and instead asked the next obvious question.

“Are you a compatible bone marrow donor as well?”

Jamie shook his head slowly.  Although he was a close match, he explained, it wasn’t close enough.   Maggie’s older brother, Wee Jamie, was a perfect match but the law prohibited him from becoming a donor until he was at least sixteen, in seven long years.

“We’re jes tryin’ tae buy her enough time,” he said sadly before stepping out of the room, explaining he’d be back momentarily.

Claire stood in a daze, running through everything she’d assumed about Jamie in light of these newest facts.  A light tug on her hand drew her back into the moment.  Maggie was looking up at her with wide, trusting eyes.

“Are ye the Sassenach lady Uncle Jamie and my Mam argue about?”

“I suppose I might be,” she replied, curious what had been said between the siblings that Maggie had overheard.

“Are ye a heart doctor?” Maggie continued.

“Well, no.  Not exactly.  I’m the kind of doctor who helps people who are sad, and I try to find a way for them to be happy again.”  It sounded so easy when explaining it to a six year old.

“Sometimes Mam and Da talk about Uncle Jamie when they dinna ken I’m listenin’.  I’m verra good at sneakin’,” Maggie confided, and Claire couldn’t help but smile.  What a precious child.    “I’m sure you are,” she replied warmly, a hand coming to rest gently on the tiny cloth-covered head.

“Mam says Uncle Jamie is more stubborn than a mule and that he canna see past his own big heid,” Maggie continued.  Claire couldn’t say that she disagreed with that assessment.

“But Da says Uncle Jamie’s heart has been broken too many times, and thas’ why he’s given up on living.  Can ye fix his heart, Miss Claire, so that it isna broken any more?”

She couldn’t have stopped her tears if she tried.   She knelt on the floor and gathered Maggie’s thin, fragile body in her arms.

“Oh, Maggie.  I’m certainly going to try.”

[violetren]

My first theory for volume 9 while the second half of volume 8 is fresh in my mind!

Volume 9 is gonna be the therapy season, but in the most traumatic you'll need different therapy afterwards kind of way. Instead of paying a therapist they're all just be bargaining with the universe like "yo I've had this trauma for a while, and I'm feeling pretty done with it. Here you take it back and uhhh I'll take a new guilt complex. Maybe a fear of falling? IDK, fuck me up bro."

The foreshadow-y Alice in Wonderland-esque fairy tale Oscar told to himself/Oz while in captivity is my guide post here.

Aaaand this is gonna get long so! 10 ideas of shit that's gonna go down next volume beneath the readmore, each one about 1-2 paragraphs each.

In the fairy tale the girl runs away from her problems into a new land, but because she never learned from her problems they just followed after her. Yeah? So first--second? First discounting the volume therapy theme theory.

FIRST BIG THEORY: The girl from the fairy tale was real, and she used the Spear of Creation. And like Weiss and the crew, she was fucking smart about her wording. She offered up materials that'd last even after someone else inevitably used the staff. IDK what materials she woulda used. Maybe there's a story about a missing continent we just haven't heard of yet? Maybe the Brother of Light's pool, since Salem seens to have claimed the Brother of Darkness's one but no sign of BoL's these days. Maybe there is a reason the land beyond Menagerie is so uninhabitable beyond desert + grimm? idk. Point is, it's a thing that happened, and since Ambrosius can't destroy/directly kill she's still in her wonderland. For themes sake I'm gonna call her Alice from here on out.

So Alice made a pocket dimension to flee from her problems from.

SECOND BIG THEORY: Her problems were relic related. She needed to hide em, and hide herself from Salem. Tbh I'm not sure how into this one I am. Maybe she had other shit going and some version of Oz was like "hey you don't want to be here, I have some property that I don't want to be here, lets make this happen!" THE POINT IS, the little pocket realities the relics are in, are aalllllll places in her pocket reality. When the team said "hey Ambrosius just make the middle ground into one of these type places" that's what he did, cause that's how he do. What better way to make sure it works like those places than to be kinda connected to em?

THIRD BIG THEORY: Ambrosius was buds with Alice once upon a time, but knew staying in her pocket world ultimately drove her crazy. He knew his middle ground worked like the pocket dimensions because it touched em or something, so he gave a vague ass warning not to fall, because he knew where they'd fall to.

Back to the fairy tale. It's implied Alice was never able to leave/give up her wonderland because she never learned from her mistakes.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 1: RWBY + Jaune can't figure their way back to reality until they adress a major personal issue and break out of whatever cycle it's got them in. This one I feel is shaky because they all have such different issues and are in very different places with each of them, trying to do one big arc on em would be too much of a mess. Plus it doesn't account for saving any of the many civilians that may have survived the fall.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 2: nobody can leave until Alice either leaves, dies, OR is convinced to let them go. As we're following good kind people this means we watch the kids try to give someone else therapy that THEY need. RWBY+J work through their shit through variations & combinations of witnessing mirrors of their struggles in Alice/other wonderland inhabitants, and just having time and space to slow down and breathe whether they want it or not.

FIFTH BIG THEORY: Alice is the "antagonist" of the underworld because she is the obstacle to overcome.

What about Neo you may be asking. Well I want her to let go of the revenge schtick, or at least redirect it back onto Cinder thus calling a truce with Ruby. However it's more than likely she's gonna be on team keep Alice as an obstacle at least as long as it takes to kill Ruby, and so Neo will be the "real" Antagonist™ within wonderland.

SIXTH BIG THEORY: Neo because of her unwavering determination to enact revenge is gonna die this volume. She'll be the comparison against which RWBY+J will be measured. As they grow and get closer to leaving she'll become more wrapped up with whatever strange classic wonderland logic this pocket universe has. Potentially depending on how things go with helping Alice, Neo may just end up trading spots with her, and end up trapped while everyone else goes back. But dead or trapped, I have a sad feeling this could be our last volume with Neo. My only hope of her surviving at this point is that she like Emerald switches sides, and in doing so joins Winter as a Cinder foil. While Neo grows and lets go of revenge and thus survives, Cinder stays dedicated to her own desires for revenge and other self serving instincts ringing her own death toll for either the end of the volume, or maybe somewhere in vol.10.

SEVENTH BIG THEORY: Ruby is gonna be grieving and maybe even getting full on angry about being expected to fix everything just because she's the optimistic one. She shouldn't have to deal with this brand and advanced level of childhood stealing just because she wanted to do what was right and won(lost) a genetic lottery for magic powers type anger. Jaune is going to have SO MUCH GUILT to work through, mostly the survivors kind. The bees will be experiencing couples therapy, they've both been pretty solid about individual growth leading up to this, Underworld will be them learning what it means to them to be partners now that they are so different to who they were. Weiss is different. Weiss is at first gonna feel like she's there just because it was a way to really shove all the other Schnee's into their therapy arcs and gave RBY+J neutral presence to rely on. Weiss is gonna go in the most stable of the bunch. But then, slow boil style, she'll start to realise how fucked up basically her whole life has been, especially upon realising that her "good years" with her new family have been spent getting sucked into being the last line of defense against the apocalypse, but will be too busy helping the others, so at the end of the volume when everyone else is actually doing pretty good and refreshed for the fight against Salem she'll only just be beginning her breakdown.

EIGHTH BIG THEORY: All this therapy shit is gonna be mirrored back on Remnant by the others grieving the percieved loss of the hearts of the team. Both sides of these story are gonna deal with some heavy shit, but the Remnant side is gonna be the depressed side, at least as long as it takes for Oz to tell them maybe the other's aren't dead leading to desperate attempts to get the staff OR the make desperate attempts to get the relics back anyways and inadvertently find out from Ambrosius what is up. But anyways. Winter is gonna be dealing with survivors guilt and the loss of both her little sisters (friends are great but Penny was little sister zoned and it's a hill I am prepared to die on. good sisterly relationships are friendships too). Nora is gonna be doing her self discovery thing. Ren is gonna be building on his end of vol.8 developments. Oscar will continue his grappling with the merge stuff. Qrow and Willow might get forced into AA. Whitely is gonna learn his own definition of being a Schnee instead of what his dad taught him.

NINTH BIG THEORY (OR FOURTH VERSION 3): The other way they get out is QORN obtain and use the staff to bring them home, potentially by trading enemy lives for them.

BONUS CONSPIRACY THEORY: QORN if presented with needing to trade for their loved ones & lost civilians have a lightbulb moment and decide hey why not trap Salem in a pocket universe since that is a thing Ambrosius can make? Like, if this bitch hasn't budged on her not learning to appreaciate life and humanity or whatever (which I'n pretty sure is the other way to break her curse instead of stopping remnant from turning) then she's a prime candidate for shoving into a personal reality that you can only escape if you can face your problems long enough to break the cycle they have you in. It'd be really fucked up but I think it might actually be possible to run the place using her as her own material component. Like kill her over and over and redistribute the energy to make the pocket world, but because god given power + Ambrosius can't actually destroy she just reforms anyways. MIght take a few hundred thousand deaths but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or use the BoD oasis/grimm pools to make a world that mirrored the one she chose to live in on Remnant really make it hard for her to break that cycle....

Anyways.

TENTH BIG THEORY: Working on the idea that the relics are actually hidden in secret protected pockets of the underworld RWBY+J are gonna have a secondary quest of trying to get the relics from this side, and either finding a new place to hide them ages away from their vault doors. If you wanna make it a FOURTH VERSION 4, they're specifically gonna seek out the sword of destruction (HOLY VORPAL BLADE ALLUSIONS BATMAN) either with the intent of cutting their way out underworld--ahem wonderland--or with the assumption that someone is inevitably gonna have to open the vault door, because that's just how things be these days and they'll be able to cross to Vacuo from there.

[bestkindofbeehive]

Smile for Me Week, Day 1: Secret

happy smile for me week!!! for my first trick, have a fic I wrote after thinking about my dad too hard. it ends well and it was pretty cathartic for me, but it does get a bit emotionally intense re: feelings about having to stay closeted in front of your parents for years, so fair warning. but it does end well I promise!!! I’ll probably post this on ao3 soon too, so look out for that!

-----

Never in a million years would Parsley have ever expected that being stuck in the same slapdash “mental health” retreat as his dad would end in anything other than frustration. And, to be fair, that was how things went for a while. But then that weird florist handed him one of his dad’s terrible dishes, and before he knew it he was getting drunk off his ass and actually talking to his dad for the first time in... years, probably. Somehow it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. The Kahlúa and birthday cake flavored vodka probably helped.

And then he’d been woken up in the middle of the night and suddenly urged out of the giant front gates with very little reason why— something something carbon monoxide poisoning. Not that Parsley really needed convincing to get the hell out of there at that point. Even a constant flow of free alcohol probably wouldn’t have kept him there for much longer. Those last PSAs were getting pretty creepy and, well, incredibly specific and aggressive towards one particular person. He had hoped that chicken te- flower vendor made it out alright, but he saw them a few days later in town. So things couldn’t have ended too badly.

The most astonishing thing, though, was the fact that he and his dad actually kept talking once they got out of that place. And he somehow didn’t wind up wanting to tear his hair out by the end of every conversation, even. Of course his dad frustrated him plenty of times, but it never got bad bad like it used to. Things between them were... good. Not good good, but just. Good.

So good, in fact, that Parsley manages to somehow metaphorically vomit up the words necessary to tell his dad he wasn’t attracted to women. He wasn’t even drunk— tipsy, certainly, but he was painfully in control of all his faculties that night.

It went... well. He knows the night ended on good terms, and he knows his dad didn’t get angry. He’s pretty sure his dad told him he loved him at some point, which is a good sign. It only happened a few weeks ago. He isn’t really ready to think about it very hard in any capacity. He’s scared that he’ll go looking for some specific sign, or a phrase, or a look— something that definitively tells him that his dad doesn’t look at him and wish he had another son— and come up empty.

Parsley takes what he can get, until what he can get isn’t enough anymore.

The tension finally breaks one evening; almost six months to the day they both left the Habitat. They were watching the end of some melodrama that was airing right before the hilariously disorganized cooking show they both enjoyed. And the stupid thing is that Parsley can’t even remember what his dad said that set him off so bad— but, god, his dad would know just the right string of words to tick him off enough to say something. It was something about keeping secrets. Something about how he didn’t understand why some people keep harmless stuff so close to their chest for no reason. Which is rich coming from him, the man who has to bluster his way through every emotional conversation he’s ever had. Parsley would be seeing red if his eyes weren’t already that color.

“See, I mean, like with your whole, uh, situation— Not that I’m tryin’ to rag on you or anything, sprig, but I just don’t see why you didn’t just go on and tell me! I wouldn't've been mad at you or nothin’,” Jimothan says, gladly shoving his entire foot in his mouth for the sake of scolding Parsley, just like old times.

Parsley, to his credit, doesn’t immediately blow up. “You didn’t exactly make it the easiest thing to do,” he says, his voice clipped and his jaw tense. His dad makes a bewildered noise next to him; a noise that wouldn’t be out of place in a sitcom.

“Now what’s that supposed to mean? I always told you that you could talk to me about anything, didn’t I?” Jimothan asks. The look of genuine confusion on his face almost makes Parsley want to drop it and just keep watching tv, but the fuse has already been lit.

“Sure, if you forget about all the times you showed me that definitely wasn’t true,” Parsley scoffs, pretending to focus on the tv again. The melodrama is still going. The character on screen is crying big, unrealistic tears. Parsley can’t make out what they’re crying about over the blood starting to rush through his ears. Every neural pathway in his brain left over from his teens is yelling at him to just let dad think that he’s right so the lecture that hasn’t even started will stop.

“What’re you— Parsley, what the heck are you talkin’ about? I’ve never— When have I ever said somethin’ that would make you think I wouldn’t—”

Something in his dad’s tone immediately sets Parsley’s blood to a boil. He sounds like he doesn’t understand; like he doesn’t even know where this is even coming from. He has no idea. Fuck, would it hurt less if his dad tried to justify himself instead? If he sounded angry instead of confused? Because this means that he just doesn’t know. Decades of hiding and bullshit and being afraid and he just didn’t know.

“Are you KIDDING ME?” Parsley fires back, eyes wide open and blood red. Jimothan almost jumps, having not been witness to his son’s temper in a while. “When HAVEN’T you said something that would make me think you wouldn’t approve? I wouldn’t— I couldn’t go a day without you making some comment about how I needed to get a girlfriend, or- or- how you couldn’t wait to have grandkids, or some other stupid thing about me “finally” getting a wife someday—” Parsley rants, his voice stuttering with the anger flying around in his chest.

Jimothan at least has the decency to look a bit stunned. “But— Oh c’mon Parsley, that was just me tryin’ to give you a little push! I thought you were havin’ a tough time talking to girls, so I figured I would just give you some pointers—”

“No! That’s just it! You just had to build up and build up this— this idea of what I was supposed to do! Every time you just had to make a comment like that it was another bullet on the fist— LIST of all the things I wasn’t doing right,” Parsley flusters. At some point in his rant his hands find their way to his head, and he tries to run his fingers through his hair to calm himself down, but they keep catching on tangles. “A-And you wanna act like I shouldn’t have been scared to tell you, but you—!”

“Scared?” His dad’s expression breaks a little, which just makes this awful situation all the more difficult. Shit. Shit shit shit, this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. It shouldn’t even be happening, but the fire in Parsley’s chest isn’t dying down and he can’t keep his traitor mouth shut.

“Sprig, you didn’t have any reason to be scared, it woulda been fi—” Jimothan tries to start.

“Ugh, you’re not LISTENING!” Parsley feels like he’s seconds away from tearing his hair out. God, he sounds like such a teenager. “It wasn’t that easy! Of course I was scared! How the hell could I have explained— I just—!!” 

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU I WASN’T THE SON YOU WANTED?!” Parsley finally screams.

The room gets quiet frighteningly fast. His dad just stares at him, his face slack with a cocktail of confusion, surprise, and what Parsley wants to hope is sadness.

Suddenly, all the anger and half-hearted bravado flies out of Parsley’s chest. His arms fall to his sides, and he’s left panting with the exertion of having just spilled out a flood of emotions that have been building since he was in elementary school. He doesn’t feel relieved. He just feels tired.

And then he starts crying. Which is just... great. As if this night needed some extra turmoil to really polish things off. Like most times, he can’t even stop himself; he was never good about not wearing his heart on his sleeve. Not his anger, not his disappointment, and definitely not his heartache. It’s not even a “dignified cry”, as his dad would put it— he’s hiding his face in his hands, and he can’t stop his shoulders from shaking every time he tries to suck in a stuttery breath.

He probably looks pretty pathetic right now, Parsley thinks. And in a few moments he’ll hear his dad get up and walk out of his apartment while mumbling something about seeing him later. And then in about a week’s time, Parsley will answer the phone, hear his dad’s voice, and both of them will never speak of this night ever again.

But something different happens.

Instead, he feels his dad’s sturdy hands take him by the shoulders and pull him into a firm hug. It’s an awkward thing; Parsley’s hands were still covering his face, so now they’re kind of pinned to his chest, and his dad is squeezing him just slightly too hard. They’re both out of practice, really.

Before Parsley can manage a “whuh” in response, he hears more than sees his dad take in a big, faltering breath while his shoulders start to shake. Parsley has only seen his dad cry a handful of times in his life. Most of them happened around the time the divorce was finalized. But after that... Nothing.

Jimothan makes a wounded noise of a sob. “Y-You’re— God, sprig, I would never...” he starts, but can’t find the words to finish. Parsley manages to find it in himself to forgive his dad for that pretty easily. He’s never been the most eloquent when it comes to emotional outbursts. Parsley manages to wriggle his arms free, and wraps them around his dad. The older man lets out a little sniffle in response, and then starts to run his hand down his son’s messy head of hair. It only catches a few times.

“You’re all I got, Parsley,” his dad mumbles through the thickness in his voice. “You’re all I got.”

Parsley lets himself cry just a little bit more, his chest finally starting to feel lighter than it has in years. The two of them exist like that for a while— clumsily hugging and crying and mumbling little fragments of things they’ve both been meaning to say. At some point they’ll have to break apart, and at some point the night will have to end. They’ll part ways with slightly stilted goodbyes, and very likely won’t speak of this night for at least a few months. But for now, they both let themselves have this moment. 

And it’s not much, but it’s enough.

[harringrovetrashrat]

The discord (specifically @warheadache) got me thinking about a Grease AU and...well...

Steve gets broken up with at the end of the year.  Nancy is just not in love with him the way she thought.  So he goes with his parents for a full summer away, a full summer in California.  And he meets the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen.  And it’s summer.  It’s California.  And this boy is licking his lips at him, is flirting and he just--

He has the best summer he’s ever had.

And when they part ways Billy kisses Steve so fiercely it’s like he’s fallen in love, too.  But they have to part ways, even if it break their hearts to do it.

When Billy gets news that he’s moving to bumfuck nowhere, he’s pissed.  Because how can his Bambi come back and find him now?

The first person he meets is this greaser boy, Tommy.  Sees him smoking and asks to bum one.  Tommy immediately knows he’s never seen him before, clocks the leather jacket and tight pants, and introduces himself.  And he’s small town, but he’s fun, he pushes a nerd around and makes Billy laugh, so he’s good for now.  He does keep talking about a Stevie, probably his girlfriend, and a Carol, maybe his other girlfriend, but Billy won’t judge.  Can’t, yanno.

And Steve and Carol are busy most of the day, so they somehow don’t cross paths until after school, until the pep rally, when Carol runs over and plants one on Tommy.

“This must be Carol,” Billy says, giving her a wink.  She waggles her brows before turning and yelling,

“Stevie!  Over here!  Fresh meat!” Billy turns and… Fuck.  There’s his Bambi.

And Steve is so excited when he sees Billy, even if he’s fucking nervous because Billy understood him in a way none of his partners had before. But Billy...

The beautiful boy he thought he’d never see again, who had wanted more than a quick handy under the pier, who had broken down some of Billy’s walls in a single summer, is here?  In front of him?  And he panics.  Teases Steve, and he’s honestly kinda mean, and Steve just, doesn’t get it.  Tommy thinks it’s all in good fun, tells Steve that “Billy’s just like that” and Steve stares Billy down, hurt when he answers, “Never woulda guessed.”

Cue Steve spending more time with Carol and Heather, making Tommy jealous and a little sad, and Billy just kinda swallows his regret.  Let’s Steve keep his distance.  Keeps teasing and teasing because he’s never been good with feelings.

Steve is sitting by his pool after leaving a hang out, thinking about how different Billy is now that he’s here, and Billy arrives. Followed him because it’s almost December and he can’t take it.  He can’t be here, be near Steve, without getting to have him, even just a little bit.  So he’s standing on the opposite side and Steve ignores him because he’s tired of getting his heart broken, yanno?

But Billy sits, using a stick to make the water move and he says,

“I’m sorry.” Which doesn’t mean much but Steve shrugs in acceptance.

“Whatever.”

“No, I—“ Billy struggles with the words because this boy... “I’m sorry for... for everything.”

“Everything starting this summer or everything starting from the pep rally.”

“I could never be sorry for this summer.” And Steve looks up at that, a little shocked.

Billy isn’t looking, too vulnerable, but he keeps going.

“You— I’ve never—“ A frustrated groan.  He can’t find the words so he gets up, goes to leave, and as he walks away, he hears Steve say,

“I forgive you.” And Billy wants to stay, but he’s got a curfew and he’s still so scared.  Because there’s no way Steve could still love him the way he did.  Even if he does forgive him.

After the pool, Steve and Billy kinda call a truce.  They won’t bring up the summer, but they will act like it didn’t happen.  Like they just finally stopped butting heads.  Tommy loves it.  Because now Steve will hang out with them instead of the girls, right?  And Steve does, helps Tommy and Billy fix up Tommy’s car, even if it’s just controlling the radio while the other two work, rolling joints for their breaks.  But there’s a weird distance between Billy and Steve that Tommy just can’t seem to get rid of, and it irks him.  He keeps his feelings under wraps, but like, he doesn’t wanna lose Steve just for Billy.  No offense to Billy, he’s great in Tommy’s opinion, but Steve is his BFF.

And Billy and Steve, WHOOO BOY, these boys are staring at each other any time they can.  Billy watches as Steve laughs, chucking fries at Tommy while Tommy shoots spitballs at him from across the table.  Like, how can Steve be so beautiful while he’s got spitty paper stuck to the side of his face?  Billy doesn’t know but he’s weak for it.

And Steve is literally so grateful that Tommy spends most of his time under the car so he can’t see how Steve has to keep shifting as Billy bends over the front of the car, messing with the engine.  Like, Steve has had so many inopportune boners it’s getting ridiculous.  Cuz Billy wears his pants so tight and hates wearing sleeves, or keeps them rolled up so he can tuck his cig pack in the fold, and like, Steve is just supposed to look and not wanna jump him? Rude.

And things are decently chill, right?  And then prom.

It’s their last one and Steve decides to ask someone to go with him.  I’m wondering if maybe it’s Heather, who will agree because Robin maybe can’t go, or she needs a cover.  And like, they aren’t together, Billy has made that bed himself, but he doesn’t wanna fucking lay in it.  He doesn’t wanna watch Steve get all cuddly with a girl all night, cuz of course he’s gonna go stag.  And he thought maybe Steve would go stag too and they could ditch together and go to the park or drive in or something, and Billy could finally maybe make a move (he’d deny planning this shit out and daydreaming about it even tho he 100% did).  But no.  Steve wants the full experience and apparently he can’t get that with *illy.

And maybe Steve was trying to make Billy a little jealous.  See if he would be jealous.  And maybe Steve was thinking that since Heather and Robin are so obviously in love (somehow he’s the only one who notices (besides maybe Carol)) that he could get his dinner and photos for his folks before ditching to spend the night with Billy.  But since Billy decided that he’d rather spend the night talking with fucking Stacey Connors instead, Steve watches from across the room, sad and angry and wanting.

Heather takes him out to the back, because if she’s gonna sit with a moping Steve all night she’d prefer to have a little schnapps or some devil’s lettuce to get thru, yanno?  And Steve goes to lay down his jacket, but Heather just plops onto the dirty ground outside the back of the gym, because,

“This dress is ugly and I need weed more than I need to go back in there.” And Steve laughs, sits next to her, because Heather is actually really fun and nice and Steve wished he hung out with her more--

And the back door bursts open as Billy spills out, freezing in his tracks when he sees them sitting, passing a joint back and forth.  He gets a little embarrassed cuz he was definitely planning on breaking up a makeout sesh, not catching Steve laughing at Heather’s spot on impression of their principal.

“Hey Billy!” Because Heather cannot for the life of her read the tension between the boys.  She pats Steve’s knee, handing him the joint as she gets up.  Billy helps her on instinct and she pecks his cheek, giving it a pat.  “I’m gonna go see if they restocked the snack table.  You boys want anything?” Steve asks for some chips and Billy shakes his head.  Heather winks at Billy, all, “Take care of him while I’m gone.”

And then they’re alone.  So Billy sits next to Steve, who hands him the joint.  And things are a little tense, a little stiff, but finally Steve breaks the silence.

“Where’s Stacey?” Billy shrugs.

“Dunno.  Dancing, I think?”

“Really?” Steve snorts.  “You don’t know where your date is?” Cuz he’s bitter and not above giving some jabs because he thought maybe Billy was gonna be ready.  Would have understood.  Billy shrugs again.

“She wanted to dance with Kyle more.” And well, that wasn’t entirely true, but Kyle definitely wanted to dance with her more than Billy ever would.  So he’d slyly made sure that Stacey would have someone to cry to when he inevitably dropped her the moment he could get Steve alone.  “You and Heather having a good time?” And it comes out more petulant and annoyed than Billy meant for it to and Steve shakes his head, putting out the joint and pulling out his flask, handing it to Billy.

“She’d be having more fun with Robin, but yanno.  She’s nice.  Fun.” And Billy blinks, flask still pressed against his lips.

“Huh?”

“Robin,” Steve says, like it’s obvious.

“I mean, I guess, they are best friends--”

“They’re dating,” Steve says, realizing that Billy didn’t know.  And they lock eyes and something surges and--

“I got a bunch of different kinds of chips!” Heather showers them with small bags, making them laugh, and the three of them finish prom together before they take Heather to Robin’s.

Suddenly Steve and Billy are close again, and Tommy doesn’t know what’s happening when he’s not around, but these two keep going from hot to cold over and over and it’s infuriating.

And there’s a rival gang, led by Adam, who keep teasing Tommy, because Steve seems above it all (and Adam has a one-sided crush, is maybe pissed Tommy gets to be Steve’s bff instead of him), and Tommy finally bursts all,

“You’ve been so preoccupied with yourself you didn’t even notice these guys have been pulling shit all year!” And he and Steve get in a tiny fight, but it’s quickly resolved and Steve wants to tell Tommy what’s going on but he can’t, so he just admits he was distracted.  Hadn’t been giving as much as he got from Tommy.

And when it comes to the race, over turf is what it comes down to, because both of them want the Quarry as theirs, Tommy is ready to go.  But Steve is worried for him, so he does the thing of knocking Tommy out on accident, trying to just get him to let it go, but he won’t, keeps trying to get in the car even with a possible concussion--

So Billy does it.  Fucking wins.  No doubt.  And Steve can’t help himself.  Cuz it was hot and Billy is smiling and Tommy is happy and Steve has everyone he cares about close and there and--

And he kisses Billy.  Too wrapped up.

And everything stops.

The other gang had left, thank god, but Tommy is quiet.  Billy is stunned.  Carol thinks she shoulda seen this coming.  So Steve books it.  Fucking hides.  Avoids Tommy and Billy and everyone, sitting with Nancy and Jonathan to their surprise.

Billy is, well, he’s happy, but scared.  And Tommy suddenly realizes why Steve was so weird around Billy.  Realizes that Billy probably likes him back, too.  And he feels like shit because neither of them felt comfortable enough to tell him.  But Carol pumps him up and they make a plan.

And it’s the end of the year festival.  Everyone is there.  Tommy tells Billy to meet him by the ferris wheel and Robin tells Steve to meet her by the ferris wheel.  That she and Heather understood and wanted to talk to him.  And Tommy forces Steve and Billy into a ferris wheel cart with him, Robin along as help since Tommy doesn’t understand everything.  Tells a shaking Steve that they’re best friends and nothing would change that.  Tells Billy that he better take care of Steve, but that he’s got their backs because they always have his.

They all get off the ferris wheel, Heather and Carol waiting for them, and they are all together again, the D-Dogs and Pink Ladies.  They ditch the festival, choosing instead to go to the Quarry and celebrate there together.  And everyone in their pairs, Tommy and Carol cuddling on the hood of the car, Robin and Heather dancing to the radio as they watch and Billy and Steve?

They stand together at the ledge, holding hands, kissing, finally, to the sounds of their friends, happy behind them.  Ready for another beautiful summer.  One that won’t end.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader chapter 94

warnings: none! hold my hand masterlist

The sand is soft on your feet as you walk down the beach, and you stop and pick up a seashell to look at in your hand as you sit down. Even though the sun is coming up and scorching on your face, you smile as you close your eyes and take it in for one last time. You get up and walk down to the water, watching the waves crash over your feet, then you cross your arms and look up at sun streaking the sky orange.

“Hey,” John calls out, and you look over your shoulder at him, “I was looking for you. This is the second time you got up early and came out here, freaks me out when you’re not in bed.”

You chuckle as you reach up to kiss him, then you lean back against his chest when he wraps his arm around your waist, “Sorry, I just wanted to watch the sun one last time.”

John holds you tight in his arms and buries his face in the crook of your neck, “It’s been a good week, peach.”

“It has been,” you tilt your head back and smile, “Thank you for this. I didn’t realize how much we needed this until we got here. We really needed some time away after those stressful two weeks.”

“Well, you deserved a honeymoon. We can’t get married and not have a honeymoon.” John chuckles as he lets go of you, then he sits down in the sand and reaches for your hand.

You sit down next to John and nod your head as you look back at the sunset. You take a deep breath and let out a small laugh when you look over at John, and he furrows his brow and grows curious.

“What?”

“We’re married now, so it’s okay for me to ask things I’ve always wanted to ask, right?” you ask as John nods. “Okay, so, when you were…working, did you have a saying or something?”

John laughs as he furrows his brow, “What?”

“Ya know, like ‘shaken not stirred’, or oh, how about like, ‘hasta la vista, baby’?” you say, putting on the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger accent imaginable. “You know, when you’d kill someone, did you have a catchphrase or something?”

A loud laugh rises from John’s chest as he shakes his head, then he looks up at you and continues laughing, “No, I did not have a catchphrase. Should I have had one?”

“Woulda been kinda cool.” you tease, then you look over at him and smile, “You’ve mentioned a man named Marcus only once since we’ve been together, and that was a very long time ago when we were on our second date.”

“Yeah…” John nods as he looks at you.

You shrug a little, holding his gaze, “Do you…do you ever wanna talk about him or anything?”

John rubs his right hand over your back as he smiles, then he looks out at the sun, “Not really, but not because I don’t want to tell you anything. I just…don’t really know where to start.”

“I get that,” you scoot closer to him and smile, “But you could start anywhere. I just like hearing you talk about your past because I feel like sometimes it makes you feel a little better. I know there’s still some part of you that worries I’m going to leave when I learn certain things, but I never would. I don’t know if you know it or not, but…I’m kinda obsessed with you, so I’m not going anywhere.”

“Kinda obsessed with you too.” he smiles, leaning over to kiss your forehead. He inhales deeply as he looks at you, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek, “I know he’d have loved you. He’d like how you put me in my place every now and again.”

You laugh quietly, nudging his stomach, “Gotta keep you in line, Mr. Wick.”

“He’d be happy to know I settled down again.” he says, nodding his head, “He told me that I’d find my way back to that life I had, and I did. It just got a little better when I found it the second time.”

“Me?”

John laughs as he nods, “Yes, of course you, sweetheart.”

The two of you look out at the sun rising as you listen to the waves crashing against the beach, and you lean over to rest your head on John’s shoulder. You close your eyes as he wraps his arm around your waist and rubs your back, and you smile when he kisses the top of your head.

“What do you think you’d be doing if we hadn’t met?” you ask, looking up at John, “Still working?”

“I don’t know,” John answers, then he looks over at you, “Maybe, but probably not very often. I am old.”

You laugh as you nudge his shoulder, “No, you’re not!”

John chuckles and gives you a wink before he looks back out at the ocean, “I don’t know what I’d be doing. Probably trying to just…live a normal life, but I’d be lonely; I wouldn’t have you.”

“I’d like to think you’d have met someone.” you shrug and inhale deeply, “Maybe someone around your age who you’d get along with. Maybe she’d have kids of her own from a previous marriage, but you wouldn’t mind. You’d like being with her since she’s around your age and you just get along. The two of you don’t get married because you’re still a little broken from losing Helen, and she’s cautious because of her previous marriage -- he fucked her over. The two of you are together for a few years before you ask if she’d like to move in with you, and she says yes. You’re happy and content, and so she is.”

“You…put a bit a thought into this.”

You laugh as you look up at him, “Nah, I just came up with it.”

John laughs as he shakes his head, “I don’t think I’d be with anyone at all. I didn’t really plan on being with anyone else. I went out on dates, but I wasn’t looking to settle down again. Not until I met you.”

A smile spreads across your face when John reaches for your hand and rubs his finger over your ring, then you look up at him and smile as he continues.

“I went out on dates to pacify Jimmy and to get him off my back, but it was never my intention to meet someone to spend my life with.” he says, shaking his head before he looks at you, “But when I walked outside and saw you that day, everything changed. I tried so hard to work up the courage to introduce myself to you at the bookshop, but fuck, you scared me.”

You laugh, “Me? You were scared of me? I can’t ever get over that.”

“You scared the absolute shit out of me because when I looked at you…” John laughs as he looks at you, “I felt something I hadn’t ever felt before.”

“Is that a good thing?”

John nods his head and smiles, “It’s a great thing. I just wanted to be the perfect man for you, the perfect husband and dad, and I just wanted to make you so happy.”

“You do make me happy.” you lean up to kiss him, lingering above his lips for a moment, “You’re an amazing husband, and you’ll be a great dad!”

“I wouldn’t have dated again if it weren’t for you, I truly believe that.” he whispers, and you smile as you look up at him as he gazes at you adoringly, “You’re the only one who I want, you’re the only one I could ever imagine being with.”

You tilt your head back and smile, “I’m glad that we met.”

“Me too,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss you. “What about you? What would have happened to you if we hadn’t met?”

You hum as you look out at the ocean, then you inhale and shrug, “Well, I’d probably still be working at the bookshop, but if we hadn’t met, you wouldn’t have bought it and it would have closed. So, I’d probably have gotten a job in Oyster Bay somewhere. I guess I might have met someone, but I don’t think I’d be married at this point. To be honest, I wasn’t really ready to date either when we met, but…”

John smiles, “You felt the same as me when we met?”

“Yeah,” you furrow your brow and laugh when you realize, “Yeah, it was like I just looked at you and saw the man who was going to change my life. So, if we hadn’t met, I think I’d maybe be seeing someone, but I wouldn’t be happy. Not like I am now. Not like I am with you.”

“Jimmy and Tess wouldn’t have met either, and we wouldn’t have our cute nephew.” John says, and you nod. “Wanna know what I think you’d be doing if we hadn’t met?”

You laugh as you nod, “Of course. I mean, I offered up a whole life for you.”

“You’d still work at the shop because I would have taken over it either way, but you’d hate me because I’d schedule you to work all the time just so I could see you. You’d probably tell whoever you were seeing that you hated your boss and you wanted to quit, but I’d nearly beg you to stay.” he says, and you start to smile. “You’d be happy with someone, and he’d treat you good, but then something would change for you one night when I ask you to stay behind and help me restock the shelves.”

You gasp, leaning in for more, “What?”

John chuckles, “You’d look at me differently. You’d realize that you were in love with me.”

Scoffing loudly, you playfully shove John, then you pull him to sit back up, “So, you think that no matter what, we would have found our way to one another?”

“Absolutely.” John nods as he wraps his arm around you, “There’s no way I wasn’t meant to be yours.”

You hold John’s gaze for a moment as you tear up, then you laugh almost in embarrassment, “God, that was so sweet. I think I was always meant to be yours too.”

Holding you tight in his arms, John looks back out at the sun that’s slowly rising higher, then he leans down to kiss the top of your head when you scoot closer to him.

This past week has been absolutely amazing with John, and you’re pretty sad that it has to end. You wish you could stay longer, and the two of you even talked about staying an extra few days, but with so many holidays coming up, it’s best that you get home so the employees can take some time off.

You tilt your head back to look at John, then you lick your lips as he leans down to kiss you. You get up to sit between his legs, then you lean against him and watch the sunrise one last time.

__

Walking into your room, you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, then you head into the bathroom to make sure you get all of your toiletries. John is folding a pair of jeans when you come out of the bathroom, and he gives you a smile when you look at him.

“You’re quiet, peach.”

Letting out a small laugh, you nod your head, then you shrug, “Yeah, sorry, just thinking about stuff. Wondering how much food has gone bad in the past week at home. We’ll need to go grocery shopping. Also I was thinking about this the other night, our pool is heated, right?”

“Yeah,” John nods, still keeping his gaze down on his folding, “I’ve never used it in the fall and winter though. This was the first time I’ve used our pool. Why?”

“Well, I was thinking that maybe we should get a thingy…you know, one of those things that goes over the pool.” you wave your hand back and forth as you try to find the word, then you snap your fingers, “Like a hard pool covering. If we have a baby, we need to get a cover on that pool. They could fall in the pool and drown, or fall in and crack their head open if there’s no water in it.”

John looks up at you and widens his eyes, “Baby, I know you hate this, but calm down. Take a few steps back.”

“Sorry,” you close your eyes and sigh, “I’m spiraling.”

Walking over to you, John sits down on the bed and reaches for your hands, “What’s going on?”

“I’m just overthinking and getting in my head.” you say, then you shrug, “Our house is like one big massive deathtrap.”

John laughs as he pulls you between his legs, “It’s not, baby. We’ll get the baby gates all set up before the baby is here, and then we’ll make sure that we get those rubber caps for sharp table corners.”

“I don’t know why I’m worrying. I’m not pregnant.” you say, sitting down in John’s lap, “I’m still not pregnant.”

Cupping your face, John leans up to kiss you, “Well, it’s not like we didn’t try this past week.”

You chuckle as John tickles the crook of your neck with his beard, then you lean back to look at him, “Thanks for this past week, it’s been an absolute dream.”

“It’s been a great week.” John whispers, holding your gaze as he moves his hand up your thigh. He cocks his eyebrow up and smirks, “One last time while we’re here?”

You laugh as you get up and move your suitcase, then you lay down on your back, pulling John on top of you, “One last time.”

__

The flight back home hasn’t been too bad, and you’re just sitting in your seat trying to do a wordsearch while John takes a nap. He’s back in the bedroom, but you’re sitting in your seat and looking out the window as the clouds pass by. You should be home shortly, maybe another hour and a half, and you’re feeling a little sad about going home.

You sniffle quietly as you look out the window, then you look over your shoulder when you hear the bedroom door open. John rubs the sleep from his eyes as he shuffles out to you, and you quickly wipe away the tear on your cheek.

“Not so fast,” John says, immediately perking up and sitting down next to you, “Are you okay?”

“I am,” you nod as you look at him, and he reaches over to rub his thumb over your chin, “I’m just sad that we’re going home.”

John furrows his brow a little, “You weren’t sad a little bit ago, you were excited to go home and see everyone.”

Taking a deep breath, you look up at John and exhale, “I’m just worried about going home, and the honeymoon is over, so…”

Nodding his head, John shifts in his seat and leans his elbows on his knees, “You know how you always get upset with me when I say I don’t deserve you or good things?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “That’s because you say it all the time, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself like I see you.”

John cocks up his eyebrow as he looks at you, and you nod as he reaches over for your hand, “I know you’re worried about the honeymoon fading, but it’s not going to. I’m crazy about you, and that won’t change.

“I always get like this when we’re leaving from vacation. I know we’ve only been on two, but I was like this when we went home from Italy too. When you go on vacation, you spend a week in this…fantasy world. There’s nothing around to spoil it, no responsibilities, no one around to bother you. Just me and you. You kind of forget that the rest of the world exists. You just want to live in that, in your happy little bubble. But coming home, that can all change. Things get in the way, jobs become your main focus again…”

“Baby,” John grips your hand tighter and shakes his head, “I am so sorry that someone in your past made you feel like you weren’t good enough, like you’re going to be tossed aside after a few months, but I promise you that that will not happen with me.”

You nod tearfully as you look at him, “I know. Trust me, I know that, but sometimes I just…”

“Get in your head.” John nods, then he lets out a small laugh, “Can’t say I’m not the same way.”

Reaching over, you place your hand on John’s cheek and give him a soft smile, “I know you love me, and I’ve never felt more confident about something in my life. I just worry sometimes, and when I do, you’re always there to give me a pep talk.”

“Always.” John leans over to kiss you, then he looks down at your wedding ring, “And I’m happy to do it -- I really am. This past week has been so amazing with you, but I can’t wait to get home and love on you there.”

You laugh quietly as you blush, squirming a little under John’s gaze, “Love on me?”

“Yeah,” he nods, leaning over to kiss your cheek repeatedly while he hums loudly, “Lovin’ on you every day for the rest of my life.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and close your eyes, leaning your forehead against his, “Thanks for being my best friend, John.”

“Thanks for being mine.” he whispers, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

__

Even though you were sad to leave your honeymoon, you’re so excited to finally be able to sleep in your own bed again. You called Tess the moment you landed, and the two of you planned to have a girls night while John and Jimmy watched some game on TV that Jimmy has been looking forward to. Finn is with his grandparents for tonight, so Tess is a little more than happy to be able to be kid-free.

You’re just relaxing for now until you go over there, and you’re unpacking your bags so you can wash your clothes -- somehow you not only packed your clothes, but you apparently packed sand. You watch as sand falls out of the pocket of a pair of shorts, and you reach in to find a seashell tucked into it.

“Did you do this?” you ask, holding up the seashell when John comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

John furrows his brow as he walks closer, then he laughs, “Oh, yeah, I stuffed sand--”

You watch as John widens his eyes and grins, and you roll your eyes, “Oh, I’m well aware that you stuffed sand in my pockets.”

Moving back to your suitcase, you hum to yourself while John gets dressed, and you smile when he walks over to kiss you. Sighing a little, you sit down on the bed and hold up your swimsuit -- you really miss the beach already.

“What are you and Tess doing tonight?” he asks, walking off to the bathroom to brush his hair.

“Uh, she just wants to hear about our honeymoon, so we’ll probably just chat.” you shrug, looking up at John as he comes out brushing his teeth, “I’m sure she’ll tell me about the shop and what everyone was up to while we were gone.”

John nods, “Yeah, Jimmy and I are watching some game, I guess.”

“I miss Bleu. I can’t wait to see him in a bit.” you smile as John nods, “He’s gonna piss everywhere when he sees you.”

“I miss him,” John laughs, then he walks into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, “Are you going to shower?”

You stop just as you grab your towel, and you hold it up when John comes out of the bathroom, “I was just about to hop in after throwing some laundry in.”

“I’ll do it for you.” John smiles, leaning down to kiss you, then he pats your ass as you laugh. “I think I’m gonna head over to Jimmy’s a little early. Maybe after I throw these clothes in.”

Tilting your head back, you smile at John, “You miss your baby, I get it. I’ll meet you over there after my shower.”

“See you in a bit.” he says softly, leaning down for another kiss, “Love you.”

You smile as you watch John walk out of the room with a bit of pep in his step since he’s gonna be seeing Bleu, then you laugh and turn around, “Love you!”

__

After being on vacation for the past week, you’ve kind of forgot how cold New York is. You planned on just wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but as soon as you step onto the front porch, you turn around and grab your sweater.

Mill Neck is always so beautiful in the fall since the trees have such a great variety of colors, and you gasp a little when you remember the annual apple festival should be soon.

You open the door to Tess’ house and smile, expecting them to be in the living room, but it’s empty. You take off your shoes and set them aside, then you head downstairs when you hear laughter. Once you turn the corner, Tess hops up and squeals as she runs over to hug you.

“Hi! Hi!” she hugs you tight and rocks you back and forth, “How are you? How was your trip? Oh, my god, did you get even more gorgeous while you were gone?”

You laugh as you put your hand out to slow Tess down, then you set the gift bag aside and hug her again, “Hi, I’m good. Our trip was amazing, and no, I don’t think I got any more ‘gorgeous’ while I was gone.”

“Disagree.” John says, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“John, on the other hand, look how tan he got.” you laugh as you poke his arm, “He’s got so many freckles from the sun.”

Tess pulls you to the couch and smiles, “Tell us about your trip. John hasn’t said anything this whole time because he knew you’d want to tell me.”

You sit down next to John and smile, “It was so good. Our little house was so cute and sweet. Our bed was positioned so that we could literally watch the sunset from our bed, but we didn’t -- we went out to the beach every night and watched it. The first day there was so good, we just hung out obviously.”

“The second day was rough.” John jokes, and you laugh as you nod. “This one was hungover like no one’s business. She shot up in bed and ran to the bathroom, so I followed behind her because I just knew. Got her back in bed, then…well, it was my turn.”

You laugh as you reach up and pat his cheek, “Poor thing. I’ve never seen John sick before. We just took turns throwing up all day. One after the other.”

“It was a good trip though, right?” Tess asks, and she cocks up her eyebrow a little.

John wrap his arms around you and hugs you tight, “It was a great trip.”

“We got you two some things!” you say, grabbing the gift bag and handing it to Tess.

You watch as Jimmy and her look through the bag, and he laughs and reaches over to high five John when he sees the bottle of Caribbean rum. Tess furrows her brow when she pulls out two bottles of hot sauce, then she looks up at you.

“Ooh! Turks and Caicos hot sauce.” you close your eyes and smile, “So good. John grilled some chicken for us one night, and we put some hot sauce on it. So fucking good. John had heartburn after, but it’s so good.”

Tess laughs as she looks at John, “Did she tell you to lay on your left side?”

“Yeah,” he nods, ruffling your hair, “Barely got the sentence out and she told me to lay on my side.”

“And it worked, didn’t it? Your heartburn went away.” you say, and John nods. “Exactly. Works every time.”

Tess holds up a little box and smiles when she pops it open to find a necklace with a little camera pendant on it, “Oh, my god. This is so cute. Thank you.”

“We wanted to get everyone something; there’s a cute little onesie in there for Finn too.” you say, then you look over at John as he gets off the couch. You lean up to kiss him before him and Jimmy head upstairs, and he leans down to kiss you again.

“I love you,” he whispers as he holds your gaze.

You nod, leaning up to kiss him again, “I love you too.”

Tess smiles when you look at her, then she looks at Jimmy, “Let us know when the pizza is here.”

“Will do, babe.”

You look over at Tess as the boys head upstairs, and you smile when she moves closer to sit next to you on the couch. She wraps her arms around you and hugs you tight, leaning her head against yours.

“I missed you so much, babe!”

“I missed you too.” you laugh, looking over at her, “We definitely have to go there sometime. Our house was pretty small, and it only had one bedroom, but there was another house right next door that was empty. The beach was so beautiful, and god, I just didn’t even want to come home.”

Tess smiles, “So, you two have a good honeymoon?”

“We did. We made a lot of memories. Our first day there,” you widen your eyes and smile, then you lean closer to whisper, “We had sex on the beach.”

“Shut up!” Tess squeals, then she leans closer for more details.

You laugh and shake your head, “I was surprised by how much I loved it -- not the sex, obviously, just the whole ‘on the beach’ part. I figured I’d hate it because sand would be everywhere, but it wasn’t. John and I drank way too much, both took way too many shots of tequila, but we laughed and danced the whole night in our house, then we both passed out.”

“What else did you two do?”

“Uh, well, day two sucked so we just laid in bed and watched TV. The next day we were both feeling better, so we decided to explore a bit. We grabbed some lunch at this beachside restaurant, but the only problem with going to an island is that they mostly serve seafood, but they did have plenty of chicken and pasta too. Oh, and everything is spicy, so John was in heaven. We went paddleboarding, which was…hilarious because John fell about ten times, and I was worried about sharks the whole time.”

Tess laughs loudly and looks at you, “Well, you’re home in one piece.”

“Yeah, no shark bites.” you laugh, then you inhale deeply, thinking about what else you and John did, “We went mini golfing one day, we went to this little island that was locally known as Iguana Island -- that was fun. Iguanas all over.”

“It sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

You nod as you look at her, “We did. We made so many good memories and had so many good laughs. I’m still bummed that it’s over. We just had so much fun there, and we were just in our little bubble.”

Tess nods, then she turns to face you more, “I won’t lie, I was worried about the honeymoon fading once Jimmy and I got home, but that didn’t happen at all. Whoever says that that’s a real thing is full of shit. Obviously it was different for Jimmy and I because when we got home, we were expecting a baby, but now you and John are going to be trying for a baby.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, then you let out a small laugh, “John already gave me a pep talk about it when he realized I was crying on the flight home. I know he’s crazy about me, and I’m just as crazy about him, but I still worry.”

“I get it.” she nods, then she smiles when you look up at her, “Do you think you got pregnant?”

You smile and shrug, “I have no idea, but we had sex every day, well except for the day we were sick. We’re seriously trying, so fingers crossed. I mean, John and I are already pretty sexual but now that we’re trying to have a baby, it’s…crazy.”

Tess laughs, “Well, trying is half the fun, right?”

“Pizza’s here!” Jimmy yells, and you and Tess both head upstairs.

Gasping loudly, you lean down and hug Bleu when he runs over to you, and he licks your face non-stop until John pulls him off of you. His tail is wagging so fast that his whole body is shaking, and he leans up to lick John’s face.

“He missed his mom.” John laughs, and you lean over to kiss Bleu’s snout again. You lean down to pet Sadie, then you walk over and sit next to John on the couch.

Taking a bite of your pizza, you sit back and listen while John tells Tess about how drunk you got on your second day, and you playfully roll your eyes when he looks at you.

“It was nice to see her so carefree and relaxed after those two weeks we had with my lab results. She was dancing around and laughing non-stop,” John laughs, nudging your chin, “It was very cute.”

“Okay, you’re one to talk.” you point at John as you look at Tess, “He gets so giggly when he’s drunk. Oh, and corny! Like ten times worse than he already is! He was so smiley and giggly, and we danced and laughed all night. We had a lot of fun. Made lots of memories.”

John takes a bite of his pizza and laughs, “I think it’s safe to say we won’t be drinking for a while though.”

“Oh, definitely not.” you shake your head and widen your eyes, “No drinks for me any time soon.”

Jimmy opens a bottle of hot sauce and sprinkles some onto his pizza, then he takes a big bite and nods his head, “So good.”

“I think we should all go back there sometime. Maybe a family vacation next summer or something. I mean, it’s always nice there, so I guess it doesn’t matter when we go.” you shrug, and Tess smiles.

Tess clears her throat a little and gestures to you and John, “You two probably fucked each other’s brains out, so think you made a baby, John?”

John nearly chokes on his pizza, and he pats his chest a little as he coughs, “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“She’s Tess, what else would you expect?” you laugh as you look at her, “I don’t know, but we’re hopeful. If it doesn’t happen, we’ll just keep trying. No pressure on us. ”

“No pressure at all.” John smiles as he moves your hair away from your face, “We both know how much we want a baby, but we’re not going to get stressed out about it. It’s going to happen when it’s meant to.”

You smile as you look up at John, “Exactly.”

Taking a deep breath, John looks over at you and cocks up his eyebrow, almost like he knows something you don’t know. He starts to smirk when you scrunch your eyebrows and look at him, then he lets out a small laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing.” John laughs, taking a bite of his pizza, “You just promised me something when we got home, and tonight is the perfect night for it.”

You look over at Tess and scrunch your eyebrows more, trying to remember what you promised him, then you look back at John and laugh, “Sex?”

“Nope.” John shakes his head and smiles. “It’s something all of us can do. Actually Jimmy’s wanted to do it for a long time.”

Jimmy perks up a little and smiles, “Wait a minute…”

Looking over at John, you shake your head as you laugh, “Whatever promises I made while I was drunk do not count.”

“I knew you’d say that, which is why I made you sign a piece of paper.” he laughs, taking out his wallet to show you. He unfolds a blue piece of paper and holds it up to read, “I, Y/N Wick, promise to let my husband, John Wick, take me out driving.”

“Oh, shut up!” you grab the paper and laugh loudly when you see your signature in black pen.

John smiles when you look at him, “Your cute little signature right there. You promised, baby.”

Groaning loudly, you jokingly slap the piece of paper on John’s chest and sigh, “Fine! Fine, we’ll go.”

“This is gonna be fucking awesome.” Jimmy laughs, and you playfully glare at John as he smiles.

__

Even though you trust John more than literally anyone in this world, you’re beyond nervous to actually go driving with him. Of course you won’t be driving, but you’re still so fucking nervous. John is an amazing driver, and he always makes sure to keep it at a good speed when you’re in the car with him, but you have to admit that you’re a little scared.

John looks over at you and smiles as he reaches for your hand, squeezing it a little as he pulls into the airport parking lot. The sun is beginning to go down, so you’re sure you won’t be here too long. Thankfully.

“Can I just watch a few times first?” you ask, and John nods his head and smiles. You lean over to kiss John’s cheek, then you get out of the car and stand back a little, and you smile when Tess gets out too.

“I’ll stay with you.”

You give John a small wave as he drives away, then you bite your lip nervously as he revs his engine and quickly speeds away. Exhaling quietly, you look over at Tess to see her with a huge smile on her face as she watches John whip his car in every direction, and you look over and laugh when Jimmy yells loudly.

“I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be.” Tess laughs, then she gestures to John’s car, “He’s a good driver, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

You nod as you take a deep breath, “I know, and I trust John. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s that you can lose control at any given moment that scares me.”

John pulls up in front of you and smiles, “Ready, baby?”

“Maybe you should go one more time.” you say, gesturing for Tess to get it.

“Oh, sure, let him kill me first, right?” Tess jokes, then she reaches out and nudges your shoulder when you look at her in horror, “I’ll be fine!”

John smiles as Tess gets in the backseat, then he looks over at you and reaches out for your hand, “She’ll be fine.”

You give John a smile as he begins to drive away, and you keep your eyes laser focused on his car as he swerves and spins around the lot. You smile when you hear Tess and Jimmy both laughing loudly, and you almost feel a little excitement to try it out yourself.

John’s tires skid across the cement as he swerves around an orange cone, and he revs his engine and speeds down to the edge of the lot where he quickly pulls a 360 and turns around. He playfully taps the horn as he drives back over to you, and you shake your head and laugh when he smiles at you.

Pulling up in front of you, John smiles and looks over at Tess as she moves her hair away from her face and laughs loudly, then he looks at you and raises his eyebrows.

“Ready now?”

“I think so.” you say quietly as you pick at your nails nervously.

John opens his car door and moves the seat so you can get in the back with Tess, then he looks at you as you walk closer to him. He places his hands on your waist and smiles tenderly at you before rubbing his thumb over your cheek and leaning down to kiss you.

“You’ll be fine, baby. I won’t let anything happen to you.” he whispers as you lean your head against his chest, then he rubs your back and watches as you get in the car. He gets back in and looks at you in the rearview mirror and smiles, “You’re gonna love this. I’ll take it slow.”

You feel Tess reach over for your hand as she smiles, and you look up at John through the rearview mirror to watch his face. The moment something goes wrong, you’ll know since you can read John’s face pretty well. He furrows his brow a little as he steps harder on the gas, and you immediately bury your face in your hands as Jimmy and Tess scream loudly with laughter.

“Hell yeah!” Jimmy screams when John goes a 360, and you hear John laugh.

The air smells of burnt rubber as John peels through the lot, and it jerks you around the backseat even though you’re wearing a seatbelt. You realize that you’re starting to laugh so you sit up a little and look at Tess as she laughs and smiles at you.

John finally stops the car and sits up to check on you, “You good?”

“I’m so fucking dizzy.” you laugh, and you smile when John reaches back for your hand. “But I won’t lie, it was a little fun.”

“Do another 360, man.” Jimmy says, and John looks at you in the rearview mirror for permission.

You look down to make sure your seatbelt is still on, then you laugh as you look up at John again, “Let’s go.”

__

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Leverage 01:02 The Homecoming Job

Before I even start, lemme just say: I’m a little apprehensive about this. I know there’s good stuff in it because, well, it’s the first standard formula episode so we get to see how things go for the first time when everybody is working together for reals and not spending as much time trying to figure out what that looks like. But at the same time, well....... do I really wanna spend an hour watching them take on the evilprivate contractor  bad guys in order to save the REAL MILITARY HEROES? Ehhhhhhhh idk, let’s find out. 

So the impllication of the opening scenes is  a) Nate and Hardison have been working together to find jobs while the rest of the crew just..... goes off and does their thing. I like this cause Hardison was clearly the one most jazzed about working together at the end of 01.01, so it ties that together b) To me this also helps explain why Nate and Hardison are the ones who set things up in Season 5, they already have this sort of system down together to put things in motion. Plus Hardison has to be around to create the home base cause that’s his thing cause he’s a Cancer. c) The client “found him on the internet???” What does this MEAN how did this HAPPEN? I’m SO CURIOUS. I’ve seen a great post suggesting Hardison makes EXTREMELY MICRO TARGETED ads and I think that’s a pretty fantastic theory. d) Anyway I just think it’s really cute that Nate and Hardison are often doing the behind the scenes work tomorrow and I think that particular relationship gets overlooked a lot.

My wife points out the excellent dynamic of the rehab nurse trying to be a grownup and explain things vs “I’m a Mastermind and I got this but also I am so hungover idek what you’re saying.”

AH! It’s the first “very distinctive sound!”

Does Nate legit have a thing about shrimp? Is that what he used to mess up the guy’s jacket? 

HI HELLO YES I AM LINGUIST AND I HAVE TWO THINGS TO SAY 1. Idk why Parker can supposedly read IPA but I love the possibilities?? Speech therapy? Stealing the Rosetta Stone? 2. If anyone’s curious about the accuracy, YES that is a real IPA chart and YES those are real phoneme symbols but NO theyy absolutely do not mean what phoneme chart real symbols not whart shes saying y can parker read ipa?

lol so far we’re two for two in “episodes that include a cutaway just as somebody’s about to say FUCK”

OMG First “very distinctive” AND the first time Eliot body slams somebody out of nowhere. 

Look I know this follows TV rules but legit Nate may have just done his first murder with that defibrilator. But also I think this is where he’s really won Eliot over finally, Eliot’s just like “that’s fucked up, I’m reluctantly impressed.”

I don’t understand the argument after that scene -- they’re mad bc the kid couldve got hurt? but they saved him, and he woulda got REAL hurt if they hadnt’ been involved, right? it didn’t happen CAUSE of them. Are they just upset cause there was FIGHTING? IN which case wtf did thye think eliot was there for? I get why the writers WANTED to have an argument here but..... I’m not sure it was well set up.

I love the thing where nate pours a drink but then drinks from the bottle, it happens a few times i think? 

lol usually my question is wtf is that accent SOPHIE is doing, but NATE has this one partiular accent/voice/THING he does when he’s acting a sleazy muckymuck, and SERIOUSLY WTF is it supposed to be? 

I like the part where eliot and hardison are just genuinely having a good time together fucking w the guy’s house. like, the banter is great but it’s nice to see them just genuinely getting along too.

LOVE that the popcorn seems to be a running thing too -- first eliot made popcorn for the first briefing, now nate brings popcorn to watch parker steal a law. It’s just, like, they’re all into the “also have FUN” aspect and that makes it more fun for US too.

Okay the “buy a senator” speech plus the “turning the government into a money laundering scam” thing does kinda make up for the pro military stuff. KINDA. 

i’m watching this episode with my brand new tiny puppy and she doesn’t give a shit about the explosions and yelling but she gets startled when i laugh.

i like everything about the scam itself except the stupid fucking optical illusion thing? is it supposed to be a callback to finding out hardison is an artist, is that what? tbh one of the least believable moments to me.

“Corporal. Thank YOU.” FUcking gag me. That’d be terrible even if the client WASN’T a sleazebag. And by the way if I haven’t mentioned it: THE CLIENT IS SUCH A SLEAZEBAG. 

Oh that goddamn tesla lmao. and parker at the end idk what she’s doing and i don’t think she does either but it’s cute and one more little hint that actually she’s kind of the main character. 

i miss how in the early seasons they did that cw thing where they play sad indie artists at the end? It only happens like two or three times but it’s cute.