#I live in the US and only speak to my own experiences and thoughts
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forwomenbiwomen · 1 day ago
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things that happened in my relationship that are incredibly common in female x mtf relationships to the point of ubiquitousness
starts from porn (addiction) + begins as a cross-dressing/sissy fetish
lives vicariously through you and what you wear, may want you to dress a certain way + buy you clothes they want for themselves
fashion style entirely informed by sissy porn/childish OF accounts
goes through your underwear, uses your makeup (even if they have their own makeup)
has no interest in stereotypical female things that aren't enjoyable, like housework & general admin/labor. still relies on the female partner to do most if not all of the housework (bonus points if the mtf partner is unemployed), except now there's added labor of being expected to help with makeup and nails and fashion
once they renounce cross-dressing as a fetish and accept their trans identity, all enjoyment they got out of your physical appearance disappears. they no longer care how you dress and often become unaffectionate. quote from behind the looking glass (trans widow documentary) that resonated with me: 'there is nothing you can be or do that will make you the object of his affection. he is the object of his affection [...] you're someone for him to look at and validate the fetish'
you have nobody to speak to if they aren't out, but they will make loads of new 'trans girl' friends (who will be immediately sexually inappropriate towards your partner) who they can talk to about the transition. once they are out you still likely don't have anyone to speak to because negative feelings = transphobia = bad partner
EVERYTHING is about your trans partner and their feelings
lying about gender dysphoria (+ etc) to doctors to get hormones quicker
gets jealous, angry, or upset if you make any effort to look nice, because they "can't"
forcefully identifies you as a lesbian, because this validates them (if you're a lesbian, you must never have thought of them as a man/they've been a woman all along). basically uses you as a constant vessel of validation, even if it's against your will
believes that despite you still 100% maintaining the female role when it comes to labor, you are now in a lesbian relationship
this one didn't happen to me, but it is incredibly common: coming out as trans directly after the wedding or just after their partner has given birth i wish more people spoke out about their experiences within these relationships, and i wish it was spoken about more on radblr. so many women are suffering in these relationships and it is ASTOUNDING how similar experiences are.
YUUPPPPP 🗣️👏👏
This is so important lol. It's unbelievably common, and I say "unbelievably" only because people ignore it so not to be transphobic. It's insane how this abuse comes via a fetish and is somehow incredibly validated because of it. Mad world. I'm glad you're here now!!!
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coffeeandritalin · 2 years ago
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Random thought as I'm doing research on access to clean drinking water and BIPOC communities...
Sometimes I'll (darkly) joke that everyone is just going to get cancer nowadays because it just seems like everyone is getting cancer nowadays... And now I'm getting this thought that... it's probably not a coincidence that the SDWA and EPA have not adopted any new standards for unregulated contaminants in our drinking water since
19 f***ing 96
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2024skin · 1 year ago
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It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses
#was thinking about my stepdad and his plethora of health issues and how they shape his life#and then i thought about sewercentipede and Then i thought about the huge population of bipolar people who are alcoholics#and then after all that i thought about a convo i had with a straight edge friend who was like 'using illegal drugs Should result in jail#time because they could just Not do those drugs. they do it just for fun'#like i understand where he is coming from but i literally think he is wrong af.#i think the people who do drugs (esp hard drugs) recreationally are outnumbered 2 to 1 by people who#are self medicating with illegal drugs. i think most people totally ignore how chronic illnesses#and severe mental illnesses can hurt you on a profound level and because they dont know about that suffering#they do not understand the urge to numb that pain. and people have no sympathy for what they dont understand#lately im so bothered by people who share their opinions with me about complicated issues but clearly havent ever done any research on them#everyone thinks their opinion is so smart and special and no one is studying#especially not studying human behavior. most people think that socialization and political topics are a fucking joke#with 0 relevance to their personal lives. like no one is ever going to be truly informed about All the things#and i know i certainly am not but it is so annoying to speak with people who make no effort at all to learn about a subject#before they try and tell people the business about it. like that guy. his only understanding of drug use#comes from his own relationship to alcohol. but he was not an alcoholic he was just a perv who decided to go christian#like its so egotistical to assume that your experience and emotions can apply to everyone and yet he is not the only guy i know#who has no interest in any perspective other than his own but thinks his perspective is well informed#im sure women piss me off with this behavior too its just that atm i can only think of examples of men acting like this
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velvetures · 6 months ago
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Soap would be so fucking protective of you, and I can’t get it out my head. So now it’s your problem :)
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You don’t like drinking? He’s the first to draw attention away from the lack of a beer bottle in your hand. Using that irresistible charm to woo everyone out of their questions and peer pressure to get you to join in. He sees how nervous it makes you. And he’s far too sensitive to your feelings to let it happen. Besides… he’s gotten really good at giving the right orders to bartenders, so that he can give you some fruity, soda-laden thing, that passes off as one of the other cocktails all your friends are nursing.
Uncomfortable family dinners? You know, that one where your least favorite uncle is oh-so-willing to give you shit for not going into the career all of them think you should’ve pursued? Oh hell no. Soap won’t spend one second thinking over whether it’s polite or not to speak up. He just does. Abandoning your mom’s casserole he’s been complimenting with a full mouth, just to look your bastard of an uncle in the face and tell him he’d be better off complaining to the business end of a pistol. At least then, he’d get a response that would shut him up for good.
That ex who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? He’s as good as dead. Not that he’s instinctively jealous… because really, he knows better. It’s just the mere thought of someone taking advantage of your life. Of your time. He’s livid because you’re too special to be harassed like that. Treated like a game that can be picked up and put down whenever the mood arises. Soap won’t make a spectacle of it… but the monthly calls and texts suddenly stop after a while. And you think it’s because you finally broke down and changed your phone number a second time. But… that hadn’t stopped your ex the first time. Soap just shrugs. Giving the excuse that common sense might’ve given him a change of heart. Johnny just didn’t have the heart himself to tell you that ‘common sense’ didn’t have the chance. He was far quicker.
Soap had lived a life so uncomfortable for so long, that seeing a sweet thing like you experience it becomes intolerable. It’s as if all of the killing and destruction he’s committed was for nothing, when something -even trivial- blockades your walk through life. His nature is to fix the problem. And his training only enhanced the instinct to do it violently. Quick and controlled action, using brute force to make the world spin to your tempo. And god… you hate when he does it. Constantly reassuring him that you’re an adult. That you’re prepared for life not to be easy, and that it’s only going to make you stronger in the end.
He won’t hear it though.
He wants you soft. Desperately, actually. More of a requirement for his own happiness than anything. And often times he thinks that it’s selfish. That maybe he is truly robbing you of some experiences that might be good for you. Make the life you lead interesting for the kids and grandchildren you tell stories to. But then again, he’s so staunch in his ways, that it comes to fruition like muscle-memory. Placing you on your silken throne and taking a defensive stance in front of you like a medieval knight hellbent on keeping his royalty alive and well.
John MacTavish knows your place and it’s to be behind him. Right where he can protect and provide, without the fear of you crying or getting hurt by the seemingly endless amount of people who unfathomably don’t want the same things for you. They all say they love you… want the best… but he challenges it.
Every. Single. Time.
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ghostbsuter · 1 year ago
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The house of Nightingale & Constantine ( P. 1 )
> next part
.・゜-: ✧ :-
You know, when Batman reassured him (was it tho? His way of using words is a bit... confusing.) of bringing in a third person for their common problem, Phantom, Danny, didn't press nor worry.
He regrets it now, just a little bit.
Dick liked Danny.
The small guy has been an absolute delight!
(He isn't grinning when he and Damian duke it out, doesnt watch fondly when Danny and Jason exchange the most weirdest ways of insulting someone or when He and Steph gossip, Cass sitting behind him with her hands in his hair.)
(He can see from the corner of his eye the way Tim hides a grin behind his hand, texting Danny someone rapidly and their Guest laughing at random times, the way even Duke, despite wearing the sunglasses, seems to warm up pretty quickly to their new brother friend.)
(It's doesn't help that he has black hair and blue eyes either.)
Danny has been living with them for some time now, temporarily as it may be, and grew on them all pretty quickly.
Bruce told them when Constantine arrived at the cave, seemingly irritated for unknown reasons, and they all were ushered to the elevator.
There is no noise as they arrive, Danny few feet off the ground and engaged on a hot topic with Steph as they go down the stairs.
The moment Constantine is in sight however, has their resident ghost snapping out of the conversation and zooming in on the man from afar.
It's kind of funny? The way his black hair fluffs up like in a Ghibli Movie, the way his eyes narrow to slits, glowing a faint green.
Many shout in alarm at the sight of agitation (?), Dick sees Constantines own eyes glow a eery gold??
It's like two cats staring down one another, a showdown.
(Someone should record this.)
The two meet down in the middle of the cave, Danny is bristling and John scowling.
"Really Bats? A Nightingale?" The blond man scoffs, pushing his hands into the pockets of his coat, hands roaming for cigarettes probably.
"Excuse me? I thought the line of Constantine died out back then, with the way you handle your stuff." The teen hisses back, a hand running through his poofed up hair.
"Hah!" The Hellblazer gives a mocking laugh, cigar already in hand and lit. "'With the way we handle our stuff'? Weren't the Nightingales out of commission not so long ago?"
The glow might have died out, but the tension only rose higher.
Danny turns to Batman, glowering.
"Asking for the help of the house of Constantine? Are you crazy? Those nutjobs have no self-preservation!"
John's eye twitches at the remark.
"No self-preservation, my ass. Nightingales do nothing but mess with stuff they shouldn't, talk about self-preservation when you have it yourself, pipsqueak."
And Danny? Danny growls.
"All you do is trick every being to do your bidding! One day all of this will catch up to your house and me? I will watch as it burns."
The blonds cigarette snaps in his grip.
"Burn? Me? Doesn't the house if Nightingales hunt the beings we 'trick'? It seems to me that your lineage is already going down as we speak."
The argument (?) continues and the batclan does nothing but watch as if its a particularly interesting tennis match.
(John looks like he's about 5 seconds away from strangling Danny and the teen about to bite off John's head.)
"What's going on?" Finally, Batman steps in.
"What's going on? What's going on?? You said you'd bring in a third person! Not a constantine!"
The bat shows no signs of anything really, when both teen and man whip around to face him.
"I thought you'd know better than to involve yourself with the house of Nightingales."
"I was here first! No take backs!"
"And yet I know bats longer, don't I, pipsqueak?"
"Foolish trickster!"
"Imprudent necromancer!"
(Apparently, beef between two houses of dark exists and they had the chance to experience it first hand.)
(This is one of the many occurrences.)
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rottenblur · 1 year ago
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Post workout pump|A.ANDERSON
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Abby x fem reader 2.3k
Summary: Your gym rat Tinder date isn’t one to not kiss on the first date, a coffee date is much more interesting with her.
WARNINGS: public shit, public fingering??? Dirty talk, Abby being bold as hell, head!! Fingering, quick mention of that liquor. Fucking on the first date.
Abby’s Tinder profile was simple, a couple of gym rat pictures, and a couple cute candid ones someone had taken of her with a background of beautiful scenery. The one that made you swipe on her was a picture of her smiling in the forest, normally you wouldn’t go for “outdoorsy” people, you wanted someone you could comfortably rot away with.
It was her fucking smile. The way that her hair practically glowed in the sunlight peaking through the trees, how her freckles complimented every feature on her face. It wasn’t just her looks though, you weren’t that shallow. Her bio was simple, simple in a way it didn’t seem like she was faking it for people to like her.
“Will fight for you.” And you believed it with every inch of your body, she looked like fought off bears for a living. She could break you in half, part of you wanted her to.
Your conversation on the app was short, you gave her your number pretty fast, I mean she asked for it.
You got a text from a random number quickly after you gave it to her.
(7xx) 8xx-6xxx: Hey beautiful.
You replied quickly.
You: Hey.. this abby?
The typing bubbles popped up immediately, she responded fast and used punctuation, which was rare. In your experience, and probably rare to everyone on dating apps. To be honest, this was your first time on a dating app, you had too much on your plate to even think about dating since high school.
Abby: [IMAGE ATTACHED]
Abby: Sure is.
The picture was a live photo in a gym mirror, she had dumbbells resting by her feet, her body covered in a tank top and loose basketball shorts. Her muscles were huge, you didn’t think someone could be that strong, the sweat making them shiny didn’t help how hard you were staring right now.
You: oh my god…
That’s all you can get out, you have no thoughts.
You: i’m blushing
You throw your phone, you’ve only been talking to her for maybe an hour and yet she already has you wrapped around her finger.
The text bubbles pop up, she’s typing.
Abby: Aw, such a sweet girl, already blushing for me.
If you weren’t blushing before, you were now. You couldn’t stand another minute not being with her.
You: are you busy today? I need to see you
Text bubbles pop up, then disappear, come back then disappear again. Read, for ten minutes. Were you moving too fast? You put your phone down, tidying up your room to distract yourself from the stress. You get into the shower, your phone on the sink counter for music. You wash your hair when your phone starts ringing, fuck.
You grab the towel hanging up, drying off your hands and step out of the shower to pick up your phone, it’s her. You press the green accept button and put the phone up to your ear, pushing your wet hair out of the way.
“Hey.” She says. Her voice, oh my fuck, her voice. It was gentle but so heavy with intent, she sounded like she only spoke if she meant it.
“Hi.” You respond back, wrapping the towel around your body and stepping out of the bathroom to make sure she heard you well.
“God, you sound adorable. I’m not busy, just at the gym right now but I’m free in thirty minutes if you wanna go for coffee.” She says, you can hear the dumb bells banging in the back now.
Your mouth falls open, she really wants to see you? A date? Today? You forget to speak.
“Yeah, yeah please. Where to?” You respond back.
You hear her laugh slightly, then take a breath. “I’ll text you the address beautiful, you’ll like it I know you will.” God people making decisions for you was suddenly so hot.
You agree and giggle, uncontrollably. “Bye bye.”
“See ya.” She says then hangs up. Fuck you were nervous.
You get a text from her, the address was a small locally owned coffee shop just down the street from you, maybe she lived close. Surprisingly you had never been there before, maybe you could have met her sooner if you stepped out of your comfort zone more often, you would have met her sooner.
Twenty minutes had passed, you got back into the shower, finishing it and getting ready. Drying your hair and throwing on a cute fitting outfit, something easy, or just easy access, hey you weren’t against doing stuff on the first date, especially not with her.
You walk to the coffee shop, texting her when you arrive at the front doors, her assuring you she was already there. She was early, you liked that.
You walk inside and that's when you see her. She was in the back, in a booth manspreading under dimly lit lights. You walk over towards her, her hands set on the table, fiddling with a stir stick. She looks up and sees you, her blue eyes light up. She stands up, she towers over you. You look up at her, her freckles are even cuter in person.
“Hey beautiful, you look you know..beautiful.” She says looking you up and down. You smile at her muttering a greeting back. You were almost shaking, she was perfect, everything you could have ever wanted.
“You want a drink? I’ll order, just finished mine.” She says, placing a hand on your upper arm, it engulfed your arm in full. You nod and tell her your order. She smiles at you and walks off to order, you sit down scooting to the inside. A one-sided booth, leaving no choice but to sit right next to her, her boldness was attractive.
She comes back, placing your drink on the table in front of you, scooting herself right next to you placing hers next to yours. You pick up your drink taking a sip, as she lays her arm on the booth behind your back spreading her legs, getting comfortable. “Was that picture from today?” You refer to the picture she sent you earlier. She nods turning her head to look at you.
Her strawberry blond hair slightly damp presumably from a shower, her blue t-shirt clung to her arms, her jeans tight to her legs. God.
“You like what you see?” She says tilting her head at you, looking you up and down in return. You nod shyly looking away as you fiddle with the end of your skirt. She catches that, flicking your hands away, replacing them with hers. “You wear this for me? I like it, looks really good on you sweetheart.”
God the pet name, her hands on you, on your clothes. Her compliments, she has you melting. “I wore it for you Abby.” You say looking at her, she looks up from your legs to your eyes. She smiles, rubbing your cheeks, keeping one hand on your thigh. “God you’re adorable, I got you blushing already.” She takes her hand off your cheek and takes a sip of her drink.
“What made you want to talk to me?” She says as she rubs her thumb on your engulfed thigh. You’re fighting to not squeeze your thighs together. You look at her lips, and her eyes then respond. “You’re pretty, I mean you’re hot, you’re intimidating it’s attractive.” You say. She nods, humming a response to you.
“Well, I thought about how fucking cute you’d look with my head between your thighs.” She said it so innocently, her hand moving up under your skirt, you couldn’t handle it your trap her hand by squeezing your thighs together.
She clicks her tongue at you tapping your thigh with her free thumb for you to open your legs. You submit to her order, opening your legs for her. Her finger grazes your clothed clit, your panties wet from her teasing. You look at her and finally respond. “I’d like that, alot.” Your cheeks were burning up, your whole body was burning up with need.
She leans in closer to you, whispering into your ear. “You’re so perfect, so fucking ready for me, so beautiful.” A whine falls out of your mouth, uncontrollably. Her fingers continue dancing from your clit to your slit, teasing you no, torturing you.
You place one elbow on the table, the other gripping Abby’s thigh, you were dripping onto your skirt it was unbearable. You finally mutter out exactly what you need to say.
“I need you Abby, I need you.” You say. She pulls her hand away, awwing in response, turning your head towards hers with a grip on your chin. She smiles and shakes her head. “Ask nicely beautiful.” You lick your lips and nod. “I need you please, please Abby.
She lets go of your face, standing up and holding out a hand for you, you take it letting her pull you up out of the booth. Your legs were weak, even trembling, she noticed this and smirked at you.
She drove the two of you to her apartment, so fucking close to yours, her hand on your thigh the whole way there, her glances never made you blush any less each time. She parks her car and guides you up to her apartment with your hand clutched all the way there.
She unlocks her door, leading you in first, she walks in behind you, and kicks off her shoes. She grabs you, pushing you against the door connecting your lips with hers, locking the door with one hand, the other wrapped around your waist.
She pulls away, looking at you with those lustful blue eyes, they looked much brighter when you first met her but now there's nothing darker. She locks lips with you picking you up and carrying you towards her bedroom, her hands full of ass.
She’s mirroring your whimpers into the kiss with grunts, your arms wrapped around her neck. As she enters the bedroom with your legs wrapped around her, you fiddle with her braid, undoing it and running your fingers through the loose strands.
She throws you down onto the bed, the plush duvet sinking behind your back. Your quick breaths are loud in the quiet room, Abby stares are you eating you up with her eyes. “What do you want beautiful?” she says to you, stripping her jeans off revealing her grey boxer briefs, a wet spot that catches your eye. Apparently, you're not the only one worked up.
When you don't respond she hums a “hmm?” to you pulling you from your thoughts. “I want you, I want to feel you everywhere Abby.” A quiet grunt comes from the back of her throat. She leans to you, putting her knees on the bed and caging you in with her arms. She kisses you, her tongue tangled with yours. She pulls away to strip her shirt from her body, tossing it aside.
You admire her body, stripped from her tight t-shirt her muscles look even bigger. She places your hands on her shoulders pulling your shirt off. She leans down to unhook your bra and kisses you.
She scans your body, her eyes make you want her even more. She kisses your lips, pushing her knee in between your thighs applying the perfect amount of friction as she moves to make out with you.
She kisses down your bare chest sucking purple spots all the way down your stomach, your neck to your hips littered in hickeys. “So fucking good for me.” She mutters out as she flips the hem of your skirt up onto your stomach. She kisses the inside of your thighs, whines and whimpers falling out of your mouth with need.
She leaves marks leading up to your panties, now even wetter with want. She pushes them to the side, taking a quick lick and sucking on your clit then looking up at you. Her eyes, her face from the angle could make you cum right there and then.
“You taste so fucking good beautiful.” You were melting. She attaches her mouth back to your clit spiralling circles with her tongue, holding your hips down with one hand.
She rubs your hip as you fight to ride her face, take control. She sucks your clit and pushes two fingers inside, filling you so well. Her fingers found places inside you, you never knew existed.
Her tongue quickens it's pace as so does her fingers pumping in and out of you. Moans fall from the back of your throat, you can hear Abby’s grunts vibrating against your clit.
She disconnects her mouth, pumping and curling her fingers to the perfect spot at a brutal pace, she looks up at you, arched back gripping the blanket. “Such a good fucking girl.” Her praises push you over the edge. She connects her lips back pulling you quickly to your climax. You look down to her, as your thoughts dissapear.
You pulse all over her fingers, and she pulls them out, kissing your thigh. She looks back at you, as she sucks you off her fingers. “So good sweetheart, so goddamn good.” She crawls her back up to your lips kissing you gently.
She whispers into your ear. “You make such pretty noises for a slut.” That shocked you, after all those praises, she degraded you. It had you ready for round two all in eight words.
She lays next to you, looking you up and down. “Want a drink?” She asks.
You nod, she gets up tossing you her t-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear from her drawer, a pair of black boxers. They were loose resting on your hips as the shirt went to mid thighs.
She walks out of the room, and you follow her sitting on the couch as she pulls a bottle of dark liquor from her bar cart. You lay down, she sits down placing your legs on top of hers passing you the drink. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks at you, placing her hand on your thigh.
“Wanna stay the night?”
A/N: AHHHH I wrote this really fast if there are any spelling mistakes/ grammar mistakes LOOK AWAY. I love Abby thank you.
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allaboutthemoonlight · 6 months ago
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Becoming the “It” girl: using science to redefine your identity
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Hello friends,
A longer post today but I’m excited about this one!
I like to define an "It Girl" as someone who embodies the highest version of oneself, a created identity that reflects your most aspirational qualities and personal vision of success and confidence.
However, this post isn’t bout conforming to standards or expectations but rather embodying the best version of who you imagine yourself to be.
Today, I wanted to talk about how social science-based principles like self-presentation, cognitive dissonance, and identity alignment can help u become an“It Girl” in our own lives and achieve the identity you’ve been desiring.
What is identity
Our identity impacts all areas of our life; it’s the person we think we are and how we communicate that to others.
For example, if you see yourself as confident and capable, you are more likely to approach challenges with a positive attitude and take risks that lead to growth.
On the other hand, if you view yourself as unworthy, you are more likely to shy away from opportunities and not reach your full potential.
Our identity manifests as how we present ourselves to the world, including our body language, communication styles, and behavior.
In addition, our identities are constantly changing as we grow and evolve, influenced by our experiences, goals, and relationships with the people around us. This is why it’s important to continue to refine your personal brand and set standards for yourself to stay authentic.
Taking the time to evaluate our current identity and identifying areas where we can make changes is a good way to get aligned with our highest selves. We can ask ourselves questions such as:
How do I describe myself in three words?
What are my core values and beliefs?
How do I typically respond to challenges and setbacks?
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
How do I feel about my abilities and potential for success?
How do I present myself to others in social and professional settings?
What is my body language like in different situations (e.g., confident, reserved)?
How do I communicate with others (e.g., assertive, passive, aggressive)?
What kind of feedback do I receive from others about my behavior and attitude?
Do my actions align with the person I want to be?
How do I handle criticism and praise?
What goals do I have for personal and professional growth?
What is Self-Presentation?
Self-presentation involves the things we do to portray a particular image of ourselves; it’s how we dress, speak, behave, and present ourselves in different contexts. Our self-presentation is closely linked to our identity because it shapes how others perceive us, which can influence how we see ourselves.
Projecting the identity we want and living by our values and beliefs requires consistent management of our self-presentation. Our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions should reflect those of the identity we’re internalizing.
For example, if your identity is someone who is stylish, you’ll want to curate your wardrobe in a way that reflects that. In a similar context, if your new identity is someone who’s highly education you might start to spend some of your free time reading books, articles, newsletters, etc.
It’s all about helping to align how others see us with how we see ourselves.
Although other people’s opinions shouldn’t dictate our lives, a big part of our identity is shaped by how others view us. Their feedback can either affirm or refute what we’ve internalized to be true.
Here are some techniques for mastering self-presentation and how they can be used to access your highest self:
Dress in a way that reflects your identity, curate a wardrobe that matches who you aspire to be
Use confident body language, such as maintaining eye contact and standing/sitting upright in social settings
Practice speaking with clarity and confidence
Clean up your social media and only follow content that aligns with your identity or helps keep you on track
Establish and maintain boundaries without people in your life that reflect your values and priorities
Invest in personal and professional development through courses, workshops, and reading
Surround yourself with people and environments that support and reflect your highest self/new identity
Regularly express gratitude and maintain a positive outlook
Questions to evaluate and improve self-presentation
What are my core values and how do they influence my behavior?
How do I want others to perceive me?
Does my current wardrobe reflect the person I want to be?
What body language habits can I improve to appear more confident?
How can I improve my communication skills to better align with my desired identity?
In what ways can I be more consistent in how I present myself across different contexts?
What feedback have I received about my self-presentation, and how can I use it to improve?
Am I living in a way that aligns with my highest self, or are there areas where I can improve?
What actions can I take today to better project the identity I want?
How can I ensure my actions are authentic and reflect my true self?
How cognitive dissonance impacts us
Rebranding yourself and changing your identity involves leaving your old life behind. It sounds simple, but it can be very a mentally exhausting change. This is where cognitive dissonance comes into effect.
Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort experienced when our actions conflict with our beliefs or values. If we’re not acting in accordance with our beliefs, we’ll end up with mental discomfort. As a result, we either end up changing our habits or our beliefs.
For example, if you see yourself as an active person but keep skipping the gym, high dissonance might make you change your belief instead of your habit. You might start telling routinely yourself, "It's just this once," rather than actually going.
This may sound stressful and prove to be a challenge during your rebrand. However, dissonance can play a positive role if you’ve strongly internalized a core aspect of your identity. For example, if you see yourself as someone health-conscious or someone who frequents the gym, you’ll consistently find ways to show that this is true, whether that’s going to the gym daily or meal prepping.
In terms of identity formation, when we highlight inconsistencies between our self-perception and our actions, we actually push towards more aligned behavior.
When we recognize that our actions don’t align with who we believe we are, we can use that discomfort to motivate positive change.
In combination with the tips previously mentioned, we can also:
Regularly evaluate our actions and beliefs to identify any discrepancies. Ask ourselves if our behavior aligns with our values and goals
Define specific, actionable steps that align with our desired identity. This can help create a guideline for behavior that supports us
Be willing to accept change and continue to grow and learn more about ourselves
So how can we apply these principles to become an “It Girl”
Define our "It Girl" identity:
Self-reflection: take time to reflect on who you want to be. Write down the qualities, values, and behaviors that define your highest self
Vision board: create a vision board (physical or digital) with images, words, and quotes that represent your ideal identity so that you’re constantly reminded of your goal
Align your self-presentation:
Wardrobe audit: go through your closet and sort items that don’t align with your desired identity. Also invest in pieces that make you feel confident and reflect your new persona
Body language: practice positive body language such as standing tall, maintaining eye contact in conversations
Use cognitive dissonance to your advantage:
Identify inconsistencies: regularly assess your actions and identify areas where they don’t align with your desired identity
Set goals: create specific, actionable goals to address these inconsistencies. For example, if you want to be healthier plan to incorporate more whole foods into your diet
Monitor progress: keep track of your progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated
Cultivate positive habits:
Daily routines: establish daily routines that support your identity. This could include a morning exercise routine or a consistent skincare routine
Mindfulness practices: incorporate daily mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling
Continue to learn: commit to lifelong learning. Read books, take courses, and seek new experiences that contribute to your personal growth
Build a support system:
Find mentors: seek out mentors or role models who embody qualities you admire. Learn from their experiences and guidance
Surround yourself with positivity: build a network of supportive friends and family who encourage and inspire you
Rebranding yourself is a long and tedious journey, but with a little help from some science-based principles it can be as beneficial as ever!
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As always,
Love Luna <3
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folkloresthings · 5 months ago
Note
Hello darling I have a request from prompt ‘we were supposed to be just friends’. Lando x fem!reader, she work as legal for McLaren, they met at the McLaren technology center, and from the begging they had this special bond. During a party in a disco in uk with his friends, he stay very close to her and try to kiss her. After a sec of confusion, they kissing each other.
❛ ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? ❜ ❨ lando norris x reader ❩
where lando has loved the mclaren legal officer from the second he set eyes on her and has finally decided to do something about it.
eight months out of university and working in a coffee shop was not exactly how you had pictured your life post-graduation. you had a law degree from one of the best schools in england, but all it was doing was gathering dust on a frame in your living room. nights were spent in front of the television, only half paying attention, with your laptop screen lit up with job postings. it was like the four years of knowledge was itching to be used, instead of idle hands pouring overpriced iced lattes.
admittedly, you didn't remember applying for the job at mclaren. you were so desperate that you had sent your resume to every posting you could find, barely sparing a second glance at the job summary. it was only when they emailed with an interview date did you do your research. they were a formula one team, and a pretty good one at that. the sport had never much been your thing so you hadn't a clue what kind of work you'd be doing.
but it was work. legal work.
the interview went smoothly, then the second, and the third. they seemed to love you and your education. thankfully the internships you had done during university made up for your lack of experience. they hired you and had you come up to headquarters the next day. the drive from london to woking was full of jitters, turning your radio up to block out the nervous thoughts.
"ah, y/n! welcome to the mclaren technology centre." zak brown was the one to greet you by the front desk, with a smile and a firm handshake. you had spoken during your last interview, the final hurdle with the boss, and thankfully you got along fine. despite your age and greenness in the legal world, zak admitted he saw potential in you. they had gone through six other employees in the past two years for this position, all much older and more experienced. they needed a change.
"this is where you'll be working when you're in-office," zak explained, leading the way through a tour of the centre. it was much bigger than you expected, so modern and open. yeah, you could picture yourself here. "we usually would have you here one or two days a week, the others you can work from home. is that okay?"
"that's perfect," you agree, nodding happily. "i live in london, so the drive is only about an hour."
zak grins, continuing the tour and filling each space with small talk; your education, upbringing, hobbies. he only laughed when you sheepishly told him you knew very little about formula one, and didn't have a huge interest in the sport.
"you'd be surprised how many people here don't watch it," he chuckled, his american accent strange in the midst of the english countryside. "ah, speaking of. boys!"
in the foyer, at the end of the hall, two heads whip around at zak's call. both in the mclaren colours, one was thinner and smiling crookedly. the other, well. he was...
"lando, oscar, i want you to meet y/n. she's our new internal legal officer," zak explained. "meaning if you fuck up in any way, she'll have to deal with it."
the three men laugh, bringing your own bashful smile to wake.
"hi, i'm oscar," the thinner boy speaks in a soft australian accent, shaking your hand. "but it's lando here that you'll have to keep an eye on. i'm always on my best behaviour."
lando. he'd been staring at you since zak dragged you over to them, barely blinking despite for the odd laugh. he blushes then, gently nudging oscar with his elbow. he meets your eyes and his mouth goes dry, lips parting like a fish out of water as he tries desperately to think of something witty to say.
"don't worry, if you don't do anything wrong then i won't have anything to do," you jest, breaking the silence. a grin pulls at your mouth with the words, soon mirrored by the two drivers.
"i think i'd rather you didn't, then," zak scoffs, patting your shoulder. "go get settled, i'll come check on you in a while. boys, we've got that meeting in ten — c'mon."
smiling gratefully, you nod towards zak as he leaves — a silent thank you for his hospitality. oscar waves shyly, turning on his heel to hurry after his boss. lando follows suit, just about pulling his eyes from you, but only makes it a few steps before he's turning back.
"it was, uh, nice to meet you," he murmurs, clearing his throat. "hopefully i'll see you around."
biting at your cheek, holding back a small laugh, you nod. "hopefully."
lando finds himself grinning, walking a few yards backwards just to spare another minute looking at you. oscar calls for him and forces the teammate to hurry, shoes scuffing against polished tile as he catches up.
"stare much?" oscar asks him once they're side by side, a knowing smirk twisting upward.
"shut up," lando mumbles, but his own smile flickers. "she's pretty."
after that day, lando and you became close friends. he would sneak upstairs from briefings to bring you a coffee ("extra caramel, of course") and hide out in your office. he would vent to you about changes zak was, or wasn't, making with the car. you would confide in his about particularly stressful cases you would get handed. on days you weren't in the office, lando would text you pictures of him and oscar bored in meetings.
but the worst was race weekends. very rarely did you go along with the rest of the team, as there was little need for you there. if something went wrong, you could fix it from your desk in england. lando sent you updates from each city, everything from the track to sightseeings. you would often reply with a picture of your rainy window in central london and a sad face. and each sunday, you would sit up and watch the race with your fingers crossed. no matter the time, you were there. and when a race went particularly bad, you would wait up for the phone call from lando, needing a shoulder to lean on.
the staff at mclaren began saying you two were joined at the hip, partners in crime, so often not seen without the other. the best of friends.
"hey," lando chirped, knuckles rapping on your office door one friday morning. he had two coffees in his hand, as usual, perching both them and himself on top of your desk. "you going to the office party tonight?"
"open bar, free cocktails, seeing mark from marketing drunk?" you hummed thoughtfully, sipping at the hot drink. "you bet i am."
lando laughs, head thrown back slightly. the knowledge that you'll be there relaxes him, actually letting him look forward to the mandatory night out. "okay, good. i'll see you then."
"see you tonight," you call after him, watching until he disappears around the nearest corner. luckily, zak lets everyone go an hour early in account for the party starting at eight. you hurry home, sorting through every outfit option and getting ready as quickly as you can. the club was on the other side of london, at least forty minutes on the train, hence your rushing out the door with only one heel buckled.
inside of the club, completely booked out by zak for the company's pleasure, you realised just how many people worked in the world that was mclaren. legal was such a small part of it, a tiny cog in the whole machine. it was quite overwhelming, if it wasn't for the fact that you knew so many of the faces.
"y/n, hey!" the familiar sydney accent pulls your eyes to the nearby bar. oscar waves you over, smiling as you weave your way into a hug. "this is lily, my girlfriend."
you recognised the girl from pictures, but she was even prettier in real life. you exchange bright hello's, hugging in greeting while oscar orders you both some drinks.
"it's so nice to finally meet you!" lily beams, tucking her hair behind her ears. "i've heard so much."
curiosity peaks you, head tilted ever so slightly. "you have?"
"yeah, of course. lando is always—"
her words are cut short by a wide-eyed oscar, shoving in between you both to give you your drinks. "ha, hey! let's go sit, hm?"
your brows furrow, only more confused when lily shoots you an apologetic look. she takes your hand to lead you through the crowd to a booth at the other wall. amongst a few individuals you vaguely recognise, lando sits sipping a beer. he looks up when he hears oscar greet them, but his eyes instantly shoot to you.
"jesus," he mutters, quiet enough that only max next to him hears. you look absolutely stunning, your figure newly shown off by the little dress you have on. it falls to about mid-thigh, the rest of your legs accentuated by the heels you had on. your hair and makeup has been done a bit more than it would for work, and the sight has lando's stomach churning.
you squeeze in next to lily, across the table from lando. he can't tear his eyes away from you, even when max tries to strike up conversation. all you're doing is talking to lily, leaning over into each other to hear properly, face lighting up every so often with a laugh.
"so, that's who's had you so distracted recently?" max eventually catches lando's attention, watching his best friend's eyes widen. "she's pretty."
pretty? lando though. she was gorgeous.
"we're just friends," lando explains, shaking his head.
"bro, you've been staring at her like she's the only person in the room for the last twenty minutes," max laughs airily, nudging him. lando scoffs and rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny the fact. after another moment, you catch his gaze and smile softly. lando blushes, lifting his hand to wave slightly.
"okay, let's dance! this is my favourite song," max suddenly exclaims, standing up with a slap to the tabletop. a few follow suit, and you turn to lily with raised brows.
"oh, no," she shakes her head with a giggle. "i need at least two more of these drinks before you get me up there."
"well, drink up. i'll save you a dance."
smiling sweetly, you slip off of the seat to give her attention back to oscar. lando stands at the same time, smiling playfully when he looks at you. a hand of his stretches out and you can't even fathom denying it, slipping palm to palm and letting him drag you to the middle of the dance floor.
the song is drake or the weekend, something you don't really know, but the beat is so loud that you can feel it in the floor beneath you. falling into a rhythm, you giggle as lando begins moving with you. he sings along, but you don't recognise the lyrics, only the movement of his lips as his eyes shut. your chest thumps in time with the music, the heat of the people around you creeping onto your bare skin. the music mixes, changing into a melody you instantly know.
"i love this song!" you squeal, grasping lando's arms to shake them in excitement. he chuckles, watching on in admiration as you begin dancing again, reciting every single word to abba's lay all your love on me. your hands sneak down from his arms to his hands, forcing him to move along with you. he spins you around again and again just to watch your hair and dress float around you like magic, the lights of the club basking you in a heavenly hue.
somewhere in the midst of the second verse and chorus, lando feels his judgement cloud. he'd like to blame it on the beer, but he had only drank one, and he knew it was that usual intoxicating presence you carried around everywhere. your lips mould around each lyric, having listened to the song so many times (and your endless summer rewatches of mamma mia, as you once told him) that it was engraved on your memory. you looked perfect, the same as every day he snuck glances at you in the office or scrolled through your instagram late at night when he couldn't sleep for thinking about you.
you were it, for him. everything he loved and dreamed of, the only thing that had kept his feet on the ground this past season. and here you were, chest pressed to his thanks to the swarm of drunken guests, so close that he could smell your perfume and the shampoo from your hair. you had used a darker lipstick tonight, he noticed, unlike the usual clear balm you wore at work. it made you lips look even more soft than they normally do - he knew, because he spent a hefty chunk of his day staring at them.
abba fades out, along with the loud and out of tune singing filling the club, and all lando can think about is kissing you. it wouldn't be fair, for such pretty lips to go unkissed. and it wouldn't be fair on him, who has spent hours on end imagining how kissing you might feel, to let such an opportunity slip away from him.
so, he's tightening the hands that are already on your waist to pull you even closer, until there's not an inch of space left between you. his lips around rough, unmoving as they press against yours, eyes screwed shut and cursing the long seconds as he waits for your mouth to respond. eventually, he peeks through hesitant eyes to meet your surprise. your lips, colour smudged a little now from the contact, are parted and your eyes are wide. he can't discern what you're thinking, but he would bet it wasn't pure elation.
blame it on the beer, blame it on the beer, blame it on the beer.
his mouth opens just as all of his senses wire back in again, the end notes of the song just ringing out when he begins making his excuse. but your surprise and panic fills you so much that you can't breathe here, not with so many people around and lando's body heat still so close. stumbling, you push past him and everyone else that you meet to escape the busyness. the neon exit sign beckons you to the fire door, gasping when it opens and the fresh night air hits you.
thankfully, there isn't a soul to watch you and your flushed cheeks struggling for breath, and you wait until you hear the door shut behind you to fully relax again, frankly not caring if you lock yourself out. but the click of the lock doesn't come, only a familiar sound that crumbles you again.
"y/n—"
lando stands helpless in the doorway, eyes pleading for forgiveness when you turn to him. your head shakes, searching for something to say.
"i... you, what—” you struggle to grasp the right words, eyes squeezing shut. "i thought we were just friends?"
"we were! we are," lando corrects you quickly, striding towards you. "but that doesn't change the fact that i—"
"lan, please don't."
"— love you, y/n. i've been in love with you since your first day at work. how couldn't i be?"
his voice is smaller than you've ever heard it before, urging guilt into your throat until you have to swallow it back down. you make yourself look down at the ground, your heels and his sneakers facing each other, because you know you'll fall apart once you see those damned brown eyes.
"lando..." you murmur through a sigh.
"don't you feel it too?" he asks, desperately grabbing at your clammy hands. "us, me and you. it's right there."
you cave then, heart taking over from your mind, chin raised to look at him. lips turn into a frown, searching his lovelorn eyes for the moment he'll laugh and tell you its all a big joke. because he's lando, and you're just you.
"tell me that you don't, that there's nothing here," lando mumbles lower, gripping your fingers for dear life. "tell me this isn't real and i'll walk away. but — but i can't leave you if there's a chance."
your lips part with a breath, lips dry, and your sense screams at you to tell him no. that it'll never work, it's impossible. but something tugs in your chest and you realise something you had never wanted to admit to yourself: you loved lando norris.
"it'll be too complicated." you settle for excuses instead, chewing the inside of your cheek, wincing when you nick the flesh. "we have to work together, so if something happens then it'll mess everything up."
lando steadies your shaking head with his hands, one on each cheek, staring deep into your eyes. "what are you so scared of?"
you swallow, shoulders raising with each shallow breath. "i don't want to lose you. you're my best friend, the only person i can talk to. i don't want to mess that up."
your confession melts his heart, affection bringing his thumbs to graze across your cheeks. "i won't let that happen," lando promises, tongue sincere as can be.
you wait a moment, scouring his features before the trust solidifies. gently, tentatively, you search for the taste you barely got inside of the club, lips ghosting together. strawberry and beer mix on your tongues, hands wandering over body heat and mouths hungrily moving together like two teenagers in a back alley. only when breathless does lando fall from your lips, hands still steady on the round hips of your dress, keeping you close.
"i'll always be your best friend," he whispers like an oath, a boyish smile tugging at the corner of his swollen and lipstick-covered mouth. "but can we be best friends who do that, like, a lot?"
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writer's note: wrote this in one sitting and may have gotten carried away but pls enjoy <3
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oakparchment · 1 year ago
Text
Best Friends With Benefits
Lisa x Rosé x Male Reader
Length: 8045 words
Tags: double blowjob, double handjob, dirty talk, anal sex, strip tease, clothed sex, spit kink, hair-pulling, feet play, creampie, cum swapping
Summary: you find out that Chaelisa know each other a bit too well to just be platonic besties.
AO3
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Chapter 1 - Tell me your 𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓮𝓼
"Do you ever get horny during idol work? Like what do you do when you get wet on set?" You opened up the conversation with a bold question. Worrying that you had jumped the gun and made them feel uncomfortable, you held you breath whilst waiting for a response. Your worries were waved away when Lisa glanced over at Rosé, whose lips had turned upwards on one side. Lisa stifled a giggle. "Are you kidding? We're only human. Some of the outfits I see the other members in gets me riled up and I have to rub one out in the bathroom, or if there’s no time then work is work and we just gotta wait until our schedule is over. But we always deal with it, eventually.”
Lisa sipped on her wine, her eyes never breaking contact with you as she did so. Sitting in Rosé’s apartment, you felt a little tense before the two idols. Mirroring Lisa’s actions, you drank from your glass, hoping a slight buzz might help relieve your nervousness.
Rosé offered a related experience "One time, we were at the recording studio and everyone else had clocked off. I could tell it was one of those days for Lisa, and she was desperate to go home so she could… y'know, relax. Instead, I left the mic recording, dragged us into the booth, and locked the door. I finger fucked the life out of her and that was the day where she squirted in our own recording booth." The nature of the story was already so slutty, but the way Rosé spoke it with her Aussie accent made you want to explore her mouth and hear her whisper into your ear.
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Lisa sat up from where her elbow was leaning against Rosé's couch. She had a super crop top on, the ones that only cover your arms and shoulders, whilst her bralette was worn below it. This left a small window of exposed skin on her chest, including the slight curves you could see from her tits, as well as her tight abs. "We obviously weren't right up against the mic, so when we listened back to it you can mostly only hear distant moans and muffled wet sounds. Still exported the audio and took it home though."
"I'd love to hear it." You blurted out without thinking, though there was no regret.
"Maybe we can show you the recording... but the live version sounds better." From your peripherals, Rosé's coy smile turned into a wide eyed expression at what her best friend had just said. Lisa knew how to deliver lines.
You were glad you initially steered the conversation in this direction, because they had taken the reigns and driven it full force.
"Well, this TMI got way out of hand, though I don't think you're complaining." Rosé looked down at your bulge and then up at you. "Are there any fantasies you've had about us?"
"Or have you just jerked off to our pictures?" chimed in Lisa. "It's okay, you can answer honestly... Sometimes when I'm alone and porn isn't doing it for me, I scroll through my Rosie wank bank and get off to her. It usually works".
"Lisa!" Rosé's blush was accompanied by a mischievous smile. "Wait... Only usually?"
"Relax, when it's not enough I whip out one of our recordings."
You can't help but notice that Lisa said recordings, plural.
"You watch them without me? said Rosé whilst pouting her lips.
"Sorry babe, you know I can't help myself sometimes."
At this point you're at full mast and could listen to them talk about these things forever, but without wanting to fade into the background, you speak up. "Okay, the thought of that is unbelievably hot and I have so many questions.” You paused to think momentarily. “Why don't we play a little game, I'll tell you about one of my fantasies if you tell me one of yours".
Rosé raises her eyebrows. "So you do fantasize about us?"
"The secret's out, I guess." You said in a playful way, knowing full well that no one in this room thought that was a secret.
"Okay, we'll take you up on this game, since there's two of us and one of you, we'll start." Rosé looks over to Lisa after saying this.
Lisa claps her hands together. "Well seeing as you mentioned that their were three of us... I want to be eaten out and fucked at the same time."
The fact that Lisa said this with the implication being Rosé and yourself made you audibly groan. This might be a lot more wild than you initially thought.
"You really dived into the deep end huh Lili." Rosé spoke aloud the thought you had.
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"Mine might seem a bit tame in comparison, but I've kinda got a thing for legs." As you say this, your eyes trail over to Rosé. Unlike Lisa, she was in full comfy mode, wearing a tight blue top that to your delight exposed her toned midriff. Below that were her slim legs, which in her high waisted sweatpants looked particularly long. Rosé was watching you scan her legs, and noticed when your focus didn't stop at her ankles but kept venturing further down to her bare feet. You quickly looked up to her face hoping she wasn't overly observant, but she returned your gaze with a knowing look.
"You like my legs? I'm sure there's something we can do about that." she said whilst shuffling closer to you on the tiled floor, stretching her legs out teasingly so that they were within arms reach of you. "I suppose it's my turn then. Hmm..." Rosé tilted her face to one side and looked up as she gave it a moment of thought. "I'd like to take a guy's load and share it with another girl."
You could barely believe the words that were coming out of their mouths. Rosé had already pointed out the bulge in your pants a few minutes ago, and had now decided to do something about it. Having already moved closer, Rosé lifted her leg and placed a foot on your hardness. It would be ignorant of you to think that idols would always have perfectly prim and pristine bodies from head to toe, but in Rosé's case this seemed to be true. 
Lisa bit her lip and crossed her legs over as she watched her friend make her advances.  Rosé simply looked at you whilst gently biting the inside of her cheek. With her arms leaning behind her on the floor for support, she started to add more pressure and move her sole up and down your crotch, giving you a footjob through your pants.
Getting impatient, Lisa, who at this point was clearly trying to tighten her legs together to get some kind of friction, quickly decided that wasn't enough and instead reached for the buttons on her shorts and started to take them off, but not in typical fashion. Lalisa stood up and turned around, her body line turning into an incredible figure that you wished you could burn into your memory. At the centre of this artistic sculpture was her luscious ass, which was only highlighted more as she bent over and looked back at you with those unmistakable fuck-me eyes. She then peeled her tight shorts down, using her hands to guide them along. She glided her hands across her legs at the same time, like she was a present you’ve always wanted unwrapping itself in front of you. Once her shorts had hit the tiles, you imagined what it would be like taking her in this position, and all the kinds of things you wanted to do to her ass.
Her little routine wasn’t over though. On the way up, in one fluid motion her hand trailed up along the inside of her thigh, leading to her panties that she rubbed from her ass all the way to her clit. She shivered at the first real physical stimulation felt since this little session started. The simple act of stripping off her own shorts was striking. She certainly lived up to her main dancer mantle.
Your cock twitched achingly at Lisa’s strip tease. In response, Rosé found the head of your manhood through the fabric and, to the best of her ability, curled her toes around it. “Whilst this is fun, there’s only so much of your cock that I can feel through your clothes, and I want it in me, not in your pants.”
“You mean in us.” said Lisa as she kneeled down next to Rosé.
“Sorry babe, you’re right” and one of your untold fantasies unfolded before your eyes, as Rosé leaned in to Lisa’s lips and pressed them across her own. Lisa met Rosé's tongue with no resistance, letting it slip into her mouth and explore within her. The realisation that this seemed so natural to them showed that it was clearly nothing new, all the while Rosé continued massaging you.
You gently caressed her foot, before begrudgingly removing it from your crotch. The strain of your cock through your pants was starting to hurt a little from how turned on you were. You stood up and closed the short distance to where they were still locked on to each other, mouth on mouth. You wondered how familiar they were with getting each other’s lips wet. Lisa was caressing her hands through Rosé's hair, who in return had her hands fondling Lisa’s cute tits. Apparently, the answer to your previous thought was, very much so.
When Rosé pinched her best friend’s nipple, Lisa let out a moan in her throat that reverberated into Rosé's mouth, letting her know that her actions were appreciated.
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Rosé briefly opened her eyes, and saw your hard tent was now at eye level next to them. She pulled her tongue out of Lisa’s mouth and gave her a quick peck on the lips before turning to unzip your pants.
Lisa wrapped her arms around Rosé's waist and leant her head on her shoulders, watching as Rosé finally pulled your cock free. “Mmm, did all of our foreplay and teasing get you this hard? Just for us?” She said with a foxy little smile, knowing full well that you were hard as a rock the moment the topic of fantasies came up.
And with that she grabbed the base of your cock and started pumping up and down. The first jerk alone was enough to cause pre cum to leak out onto your head, which Rosé- observant as ever, quickly noticed and used it to start lubing up your rod. “Mmm c’mon Lisa, don’t pretend you’re shy.”
Lisa was seemingly preoccupied, as she had adjusted her head on Rosé's shoulder so that she was now sucking her neck, and the hands which were around her waist now pulled her towards her own body. Lisa was seemingly grinding her pussy against Rosé's hipbone. It wasn't a move that you had ever seen before, but it was hot nonetheless.
Rosé, who was unfazed by this, gathered her hand that was intertwined with Lisa’s and slid them both together over your cock, forming a hand cradle. What followed was a double handed jerk off, as the two girls of your dreams slid their hands together over the full length of your cock, from base to head, down and back up, their hands still laced over each other as well as over your cock. You revelled in the experience, thinking about how much more there was to come. You quickly stripped off your shirt, and looked down to the pleasing rendition before you.
Both sets of eyes were now looking up at you with hungry expressions. Rosé unclasped her hand and moved her mouth towards your balls, sucking them into the warmth of her mouth. Lisa continued pumping your cock, moving her hand down towards the lower half. You anticipated why she might do this, until your cock head was resting on the wetness of her laid out tongue.
“You know, Rosé's spit is still probably in my mouth.” She said, then quickly took in half the length of your cock inside her mouth. The thought of Blackpink’s shared fluids in each other and on your cock had you throbbing in Lisa’s mouth. Just to make sure, Rosé took a pause from sucking on your balls. After Lisa had bobbed up and down your shaft a couple times, Rosé interrupted her by placing a hand around her neck, gently choking the girl and causing her to stop the brief yet blissful blowjob. Confused as to why Rosé had pulled her best friend off of your cock, your confusion was quickly replaced with a look of awe as she pulled Lisa’s mouth open. The younger girl instinctively laid her tongue out and looked up at Rosé with puppy dog eyes. And then Rosé spat. in. her. mouth. Lisa grinned in return then returned to take the length of your cock down her throat, gagging ever so slightly when she reached the base. When her pretty pink lips pulled away from your cock, you were connected by a trail of spit and pre cum.
“There, now our spit is definitely mixed together all over your cock.”
Lisa wasn’t swimming, yet a new wave of liquid had started to leak under her from Rosé's ministrations. She moved her black panties to the side and started rubbing her clit, whilst returning to give you head.
You felt her slide her tongue along your frenulum and shaft whilst encasing you between her lips. Rosé massaged your balls with one hand and used her other to wrap it around the base of your shaft. Their teamwork and rhythm was undeniable. Whether it was through years of training and performing together, or experience in getting their partners off- each other or different people (or both), the pleasure you were feeling far succeeded your expectations. Lisa would skilfully envelop your shaft with her mouth, bobbing up and down. When she slurped down further, Rosé gave the base of your shaft two quick jerks. On Lisa’s every upwards motion, Rosé used the extra length available on your cock to give you a slower pump in a twisting motion, whilst Lisa sucked hard on your head. They continued doing this again and again, all the while Rosé continued to massage your balls with her free hand, and their eye contact fucked you on a whole other level.
Lisa moaned onto your cock, and gazing past her slutty little face, you saw she was still getting herself off. Two small pools of liquid had formed on the floor, one beneath Lisa’s pussy; her leaked juices made you wonder what she tasted like. The other was the puddle of spit below your cock and their mouths, which had transpired from the increasingly sloppy blowjob.
You felt a familiar rising wave. Wanting to prolong this dream-like situation, you stepped back to pull away, at which Lisa looked at you with pouty lips and an expression of neediness, whilst Rosé spoke up.
“You were about to cum weren’t you, I could feel it in your balls.” she said with a devious smile. “Lisa’s mouth does feel good doesn’t it.” After which she turned and licked up along Lisa’s cheek playfully, and turned back to look at you with her mouth open in a smile and her tongue lifted up to to the top of her teeth.
“That felt like heaven and then some.” You explained. “But I don’t want to cum just yet.”
“It’s all good, I’ve got an idea” Rosé grabbed Lisa’s hand again and stood up, motioning for Lisa to follow suit.
Noticing the girly mess she had made on the floor, Lisa started an apology to her best friend. “My bad Chae, I leaked on your floor a little.” Considering she hadn’t cum yet, ‘a little’ seemed like an understatement. This girl was dripping.
Rosé replied with even more fantasy fuel. “Don’t worry Lili, you get cum on my bed sheets all the time, these floors are easy to clean in comparison.” And with that you all moved into Rosé's bedroom, hopefully on your way to ruin her bed sheets anyway.
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Chapter 2 - 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓮𝓼 fulfilled
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Apart from a hoodie that was lying on the floor, Rosé's bedroom was about as photogenic as her. An observation of clean and cute was as far as your quick scan of the area allowed before the girls drew your attention again.
Amazingly, Rosé was still fully clothed. Lisa- desperate to continue, quickly undid Rosé's shorts and dropped them to the floor, but not without giving Rosé's ass cheek a playful bite. “Lisa-yah!” yelped Rosé, with her eyes wide open and mouth agape in a similarly playful expression.
“Can’t help myself Rosie, I’m just extra horny today, don’t know why.”
“Lili I think we know why.” She said, giving you a coy look. “Why’re you just standing in the doorway Y/N?” “It’s okay, you can come into my room, it’s not the only thing of mine you’re gonna be coming in anyway.” Your cock twitched at her comment, causing Rosé to smirk as she knew the effect her words had on you.
“I want to see all of you Rosé.” You looked at her shirt and panties, then at Lisa, indicating with your eyes. Lisa understood and stood behind her best friend. Returning the favour from earlier, she cupped her perky little tits through her white top and started to pinch her nipples.
“Mmm, naughty Rosie isn’t wearing a bra.” said Lisa as she placed her head over Rosé's shoulder and looked into her eyes.
Rosé returned eye contact and replied “Well yeah I’m just at home, you walk around here with far less clothes than an absent bra sometimes.” She then proceeded to reach behind her, and although Rosé's body was currently blocking you from seeing it, you could take a good guess as to what she had dipped her fingers into given the surprisingly loud wet sound that emanated.
In what is half soft purring and half actual words, Lisa responds “Me walking around your house naked? You shouldn’t say such slanderous things Rosie.” You find it both humorous and an extreme turn on that Lisa is saying this whilst her fellow group members’ fingers are buried deep in her dripping pussy.
Even though you were meant to be cooling off, you can’t help but stroke your cock to the image before you. Ever so slowly, you pumped your shaft as Lisa lifted Rosé's shirt over her head, forcing the girl to pull her fingers out so that she could hold her arms up. As she did this, you managed to catch 2 of her fingers glistening in the air against the sunlight that shimmered through the curtains. Seeing Lisa’s wetness sparkle on Rosé's fingers was not a fantasy you thought you had, but it is a memorable moment for sure. With her top now removed, you drink in the sight of Rosé's tits. They aren’t huge, but they’re shapely and match her frame well. Subconsciously, you increased the pace of your stroking in appreciation, which doesn't go unnoticed by Rosé who bites on her lip as she watches you jerk off to her. “Better than getting off to pictures of us over the internet?” She toys.
Before you can think of a good reply, Lisa spins her around so that Rosé's ass is facing you. She gives you a quick glance, then starts to peel her chingu's panties off using just her teeth. Apparently Lisa took stripping classes at YG because she sure knew how to put on a show.
Rosé bent her knees slightly and leaned forward on the bed, knowing the angles that made her ass look good. Before you is a cute bubble butt, definitely not as big as Lisa’s, but round and firm. You wonder how it’s possible for them to look so damn good, but then remember that as idols, half of their work is training, dancing, and performing, and to look visual as fuck whilst doing it. What most of the public doesn’t necessarily realise though, is how mouth drooling they look even under their clothes. With no safety shorts to impede your view, Rosé looked gorgeous. Being nude, this is the most leggy you’ve ever seen her, and in her bent over position, her pussy shined back at you. Even from this small distance, you could see that she had a very neat innie that made you want to dive in. Turning back around to face you made her clean shaven mound apparent. 
You walked forward from your spot at the doorframe. Lisa was still wearing her bralette and super crop top, and her panties were so soaked that a wet line started to drip down her thigh. Eyeing what remained of her outfit, you came to a decision: “That crop top stays on, everything else needs to go.”
“If that’s what you want, daddy.” She said in a sultry yet innocent tone that practically makes you melt.
Rosé kneeled down behind Lisa, and took off her panties. There’s no show this time, but no complaints are to be heard either, as Rosé immediately dived into her best friends pussy, enabling moans to echo through the room.
You waste no time and unhook Lisa’s bralette. With just her super crop on to shape her shoulders, it laid just over her chest without covering her tits, which jiggled pleasantly as she had taken over stroking your cock, the rest of her now butt-naked. It was like an X rated dance practice outfit. You transfer Lisa’s moans into your own mouth as you moved in for a kiss. She welcomed your tongue into herself, and once again with unbeatable rhythm, she matched the pace of her handjob with the rate at which she sucked and licked at your tongue. You could only imagine that Rosé was somehow tongue-fucking her pussy to a similar beat.
“Alright, time for that idea I had” perks up Rosé. She directed Lisa to get on the bed- face down, ass up, whilst you stood at the edge, leaving enough room for Rosé to take her place in front of you. It looked to be a king size bed, which you have a not so slight suspicion is due to the fact that Lisa spends a lot of time in here as well. Rosé kneeled on her knees, facing Lisa, and continued her oral session. Feeling a little confused as to why she wanted you here, you begin to realise what Rosé's idea was. She lifted up the lower half of her legs into the air and fluttered her toes at you, behind which rested both her thighs held tightly together, and above that thigh gap was of course the beautiful folds of her pussy.
Rosé's a queen, yet she knows how to serve. Before you was an elegant three course meal of your very own Rosé banquet.
“There’s lube in that bedside drawer, bottom shelf.” said Rosé as she lifted up her head from Lisa’s cunt, gesturing towards the mahogany drawer with pussy juice dripping deliciously around her mouth. “Or you can borrow some of Lisa.” She said with a wink and a lick of her lips before burying her face back down into her meal, allowing Lisa’s increasingly louder moans to continue.
As hot as Rosé's latter suggestion sounded, you didn't want to interrupt, as Lisa has been chasing that orgasm since the start of the night. You moved over to where the bedside table was and opened the bottom drawer. The contents were a bit more intense than you were expecting. You spotted a few dildos and vibrators, the two most noticeable of which were a rabbit vibrator (the ones that have an extra nub shaped like rabbit ears to stimulate the clit), and a long double ended dildo that was half black, half pink. Apparently even in their sex lives they remained on brand.
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Other items included a roll of condoms and the bottle of lube you were initially looking for- but quickly became of less interest, as you saw a pair of handcuffs, and at the bottom, a small set of Polaroid pictures. They had the typical dreamy summer vibes that Polaroids produced, but upon looking at the images more closely you noticed they were of not just Rosé, or even just Chalisa, but all the Blackpink members. In most of the pics the subjects were framed as either nude or close to it, in a satisfyingly tasteful way, despite the fact that you could tell they were taken either pre, mid, or post sex. You suddenly felt a bit of guilt, as if you were intruding on these intimate moments that were only meant for them. But when Lisa’s squeals tuned you back in, you glanced over at Rosé who had paused to give you her trademark bedroom eyes and wiggled her butt and feet in the air despite the items you were holding. She didn’t mind you seeing her intimate drawer but she did mind that you weren’t fucking her right now.
“Do I need this?” you asked her dutifully, whilst holding up one of the condom packets.
“Nah, remember what I said earlier? I want you to finish in me, not in some latex. Don’t worry, we’re both on the pill.”
Lisa, despite her sounds of exasperation, managed to chime in “Chae loves cum too much to not be on the pill.”
Rosé didn’t even respond, and instead just returned her tongue and fingers to Lisa’s folds.
“If you think there’s a lot going on in that drawer, just wait until you see what Jennie and Jisoo have.” Lisa’s statement left a lasting impression.
Returning back to the bed, you planted yourself on the ground behind Rosé. If she’s offering everything in front of you, you weren't gonna turn her down. Already knowing in which order you’ll fuck Rosé's bits, you pour some of the lube over your cock and then some over the soles and along the insides of her feet, which she already had hovered in the air for you, squeezed together. You quickly grabbed a pillow and placed them under her knees to hopefully help alleviate some of the roughness of the floor.
With your cock lined up, you started thrusting between her soles. To add more stimulation you pushed them together, tightening the hole that formed between them. She started to move her legs slightly back and forth to match your thrusts. Like the rest of her body, her feet were pretty and clean, and it’s a unique visual to see your cock pumping between them. Further up on the bed, the rapid squelching sounds coming from between Rosé's face and Lisa’s legs announced her approaching orgasm.
“Fuck yes Rosie, fuck fuck fuck.” Screamed Lisa as her cunt trembled around Rosé's fingers and mouth. The older girl continued her movements, only slowly subsiding once Lisa stopped shaking. Lisa allowed the last waves of her orgasm to ride through her. “You eat me out so good Chae.” She said before flipping onto her back, head towards Rosé and lying still in an effort to catch her breath.
Throughout all this you continued to fuck Rosé’s feet. After a couple dozen thrusts, you realised that you were both too worked up to keep the foot job going, and that this was generally better served as foreplay or when everyone wasn't ridiculously horny.
Your thought process was reinforced when you placed her legs back down and noticed her pussy leaking some cream. Not a clear, dripping wetness like Lisa, but a small trail of creamy white. Rosé got up and pushed you down to a seated position on the edge of her bed. Straddling you, she says "I'm sorry, I know you want to fuck my legs, but my pussy is literally creaming for your cock right now so it'll have to wait for another day."
The fact that Rosé basically invited you to come fuck her again after today was more than enough reason for you to accept her apology. “Lili, guide his cock for me.”
Lisa, who had seemingly recovered enough from her orgasm, got up off the bed with her tongue between her teeth and a devilish smile. You wondered what she was thinking about. Taking her spot behind Rosé, you felt a warm hand wrap itself around the base of your cock, as it aimed your head towards her best friends opening. You were aching to be inside Rosé’s flower, and she was aching to have your stem inside of her.
Once she felt your tip teasing her entrance, Rosé allowed her weight to fall down until her pussy lips met Lisa’s hand. The top half of your cock was buried inside Blackpink’s main vocalist, whilst the main dancer had her fingers curled around the bottom half. The moment is so cathartic that you had to strain yourself from not nutting then and there. Rosé continued to push downwards against Lisa’s hand, signalling that she wanted more. Instead of letting go completely, Lisa unfurled her fingers one at a time to allow for Rosé's pussy to swallow more of your cock, until she’s only holding the very base with the O shape of her curled thumb and index finger. Rosé bottoms out, meaning Lisa’s hand is now laying flat against your pubic area, with your cock jutting out between her fingers. She flips her hand over so that her palm is facing upwards. Rosé had now taken your full length, her creamy walls feeling like bliss. You attest being able to push through her unbelievable tightness on the first thrust to her determination, and that she was visibly creamy from all the action that had happened tonight before any attention was given to her pussy.
Rosé started to lift upwards, and then down again, finding a rhythm, but her pussy was not alone in this endeavour. Every time Rosé flexed and relaxed her hips and legs to sink down on your cock and then up again, Lisa matched this by keeping her hand in the same position as before. Palm up, her middle and ring fingers encasing either side of your cock. By matching the pace of the ride, she always kept her hand just under Rosé’s pussy. In doing this, she was not only giving you a two finger handjob, but she was also curling her fingers up to rub her best friends lips and clit, all the whilst Rosé continued to ride the soul out of you.
The sounds of squelching and yours and Rosé’s moaning filled the room. The subtle bouncing of her tits every time she dropped from the summit was adorable. Seeing you eye fuck her tits, Rosé flicked her hair so that you could get better access. You moved in and took her left nipple in your mouth, whilst cupping her other boob. The hardness of her nipples became even more evident as your swirled your tongue around one and pinched the other. As her pussy continuously clamped you, up and down, You felt Rosé’s hands on the back of your head, pulling you closer. Her fingers ran through your hair and massaged your scalp as you alternated between sucking on her tits. Rosé fully took the length of your cock inside of her and switched to a back and forth grinding motion.
With her mouth free and Rosé’s ass in front of her, Lisa determined there was an obvious move to make.
“Lisa-yah!” Rosé suddenly yelped. “ I thought this was meant to be your fantasy.
Lisa pauses her ministrations to reply. "Turns out I wanted to be on the giving end as well." Curious as to what was happening, you unlatched from Rosé’s tits and looked behind her slim waist. Lisa had halted her finger work from the two of you and was instead spreading her best friends ass, tongue deep inside Rosé’s tight little asshole.
Continuing with her grinding, you yourself almost yelp as Rosé clenched her pussy walls tighter on your cock, her velvety insides hugging you closer.
“Rosé…” You groan, feeling yourself getting closer. Leaning over, she whispers into your ear. "Don’t be a stranger, you can call me by my real name.”
This was a small added intimacy that you were more than happy to abide by. "Do you like having my cock inside you... Park Chaeyoung?" You say in a deep playful tone, but it's followed quickly by a moan as she squeezes her cunt around your cock even harder upon hearing you call her by her real name.
Lisa interjects - "You just squeezed his cock didn't you Chae? Holy fuck you must be tight right now, some of your cream leaked out when you did.” From behind Chaeyoung's ass you can see Lisa eye fucking the creamy pussy in front of her, before looking up at you and saying "I love when she squeezes herself around my fingers or tongue, makes me feel like a good girl.”
“Or a bad girl, depending on how you look at it" you say, in which Lisa responds with a coy smile and sticks her tongue out playfully, which to your delight she sticks back in to her chingu's awaiting ass. "Lisa, I love you, but good girls don't tongue fuck each others assholes" she says whilst trying to hold in a moan. Lisa pulls out "well I can stop if you'd like" she says, tilting her head down and pouting her lips in a teasing way that she knew would drive Chaeyoung crazy, but without even turning around, Chaeyoung rests her hand on Lisa's head and pulls her back into her ass, "don't you dare stop, I'm close". Seeing as she looked you dead in the eyes during those words you took it she wasn't just talking to Lisa. This time you take the reigns and start bucking your hips up into her. Chaeyoung lets out the moan she was holding a moment ago, the loudest of the night so far.
Pumping with all the energy you have in you, you buck your hips up into the girl, relentlessly pounding her pussy with your rod. You keep a rigid hold of her waist, minimising her movements to allow Lisa to continue her tongue work.
“Unghf, yes, yes, keep fucking me Y/N, I’m so close, treat me like your little cum hungry slut. My pussy needs your cum. My pussy needs your cum like my asshole needs my best friends tongue. FUCK” she squeals, as you deliver the words “milk the cum out of my cock with your pussy, Chaeyoung” and with the most satisfying O face you’ve ever seen, her eyes rolls back and her pussy cinches around your cock tighter than it has all night. Her creamy walls start to ripple around your manhood, and when her facial expression alone was enough to send you over the edge, you thrust balls deep one more time and then plummet over. Her cunt milks you for load after load, as white as the flashing of your vision. The culminating overload of realising that you really are in  Rosé‘s apartment, fucking her and Lisa, and the waves of your climax has you in pure, absolute bliss.
With your cock still inside her, Chaeyoung wraps her arms around your neck, nuzzling her head into your shoulder. She’s clearly gone into a state of lazy post-sex dreamy mode, and you don’t blame her. Holding on to you tight like she doesn’t want to ever let go, you wrap one arm around her smooth waist, and explore the ridges of her spine and ribs with the other hand.
“Don’t let that cream go to waste Lili” mumbles Chaeyoung from your neck. “Remember what I said about wanting to share cum?”
“Leave it to me Rosie” and with that Lisa gently lifted Chaeyoung’s ass until your cock slipped out of her pussy, the both of you wincing slightly from the post-nut sensitivity.
The gentlest little moans emanated from Chaeyoung as Lisa started lapping up the dripping creampie, no, YOUR dripping creampie from her best friend's pussy. You didn’t have the view to see it, but the sight of Lisa’s eyes peaking over Chaeyoung’s ass as she licked up the combined cream of your cum and her fellow group member was more than enough. “I know you’re both puckered out right now, but after tasting all this cum I’m getting sopping wet again and I’m gonna have to go for round two.” Some of her words were a little unclear, as she spoke without trying to let any cum fall out. You smiled at Lisa’s request as she dived back in. Once her mouth was full of the contents of Chaeyoung’s pussy, she gathered the cum from your sensitive cock using three fingers and licked that up too. She then sat back on her knees and waited like a good girl.
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Chaeyoung pushed up off of you and swayed over to Lisa. You watched as the two sloppily made out, transferring creamy white substances into each other’s mouths. Lisa stuck her tongue out, looking first at her best friend and then making direct eye contact with you. Chaeyoung’s creamy cum, your hot load, and the girls’ spit coating her mouth and smooth pink tongue, forming multiple trails between her top and bottom lips as she opened her mouth wide. 
Chaeyoung wrapped her luscious lips around Lisa's tongue, bobbing up and down like a pseudo-blowjob. Once Lisa’s jaw got tired, she pushed down on Chaeyoung’s shoulders to get her on a lower elevation. Lisa then loomed over Chaeyoung’s mouth from a distance and let what remained of her creamy  reservoir out of her mouth. Like a thick bubbling waterfall, the cum travelled through the air down into Lake Chaeyoung’s awaiting mouth.
Before today, the most you had seen of Chaeyoung and Lisa was the occasional outfit that showed off a little extra, or them twerking on stage, yet here you were watching them savour and play with your cum in each other’s holes.
It was filthy, it was slutty, and it was pure fucking fantasy fuel.
“Tur around, get on the beb with your asshup” Chaeyoung could only half enunciate the words in trying to contain all the cum in her mouth, though she wasn’t fully succeeding as some was dribbling out the corner of her mouth and down onto her perky little tits. Regardless, Lisa got the memo, as for the second time that night, she quickly planted herself face down, ass up on the bed. In this position, her ass had never looked better, and you could already feel yourself returning to hardness. You wondered just how much time Lisa spent in this position.
Just when you thought the cum tales might be over, Chaeyoung scooched over in prime position to eat her best friend’s ass. Instead of swallowing the cum, she spat some of it out and proceeded to make out with Lisa’s asshole. Cum. And. Spit. Dripped. Everywhere. Lisa was moaning into the bed sheets, and as if there wasn’t enough, her pussy started leaking out again. Chaeyoung was alternating between finger fucking and tongue fucking all the natural lube into her Lisa's asshole. Once she seemed satisfied, she wiggled under Lisa into a sixty-nine position, and sucked her pussy folds into her mouth. 
After watching the two eat each other out for a bit, Lisa turned her head around and faced you. “C’mon Y/N, you can’t tell me that after all that you’re not hard again, Chae didn’t lube up my ass with cum-lube for nothing.” She said whilst shaking her ass in the air. Suffice to say you were at full mast again, so you took your place behind Lisa’s ass. She giggled as you tapped your cock on her cheeks, admiring the shape and firmness of it.
“Oh my god Lalisa Manoban keep rubbing that, fuck yes.” You couldn’t see Chaeyoung’s pussy from here but it made you smile knowing these two knew how to get each other off so good.
Holding your cock by the base, you pushed just the head into Lisa’s asshole. “Ugh, yeah keep going deeper, I can take it all.” You didn’t doubt her, especially with how slick and wet it was, but you wanted to see if you could make her beg for it. Once your whole tip was inside her ass, you pulled out, rubbed it along the length of her pussy that Chaeyoung wasn’t occupying with her mouth, then pushed just the head back in. After repeating this a few times Lisa quipped “Y/N please I need you to pound my ass, stop teasing me.” She tried to twerk it back into you but her best friend had her arms locked around her waist, preventing Lisa from getting much movement.
Chaeyoung’s sparkling eyes from below caught your attention. You couldn’t see her mouth but could tell she was smiling. Teasing Lisa when her pussy juices were literally leaking down her leg got Chaeyoung off just as much as it did for you.
You put the tip back into her asshole. “Tell me how bad you want it Lisa.”
“I’m fucking aching for your cock Y/N. You know my ass will make you feel good, lay your pipe in me however you want, just put it in please. Please.” That last word came out like a gentle little cry. And so without remorse you thrusted the full length of your cock into Lalisa’s tight asshole. Lisa screamed in delight as you pumped away, rearranging her guts. Her ass cheeks clapped rhythmically every time your hips rammed into her from behind. You were reminded that Lisa got her wish from earlier, as loud slurping sounds came from where Chaeyoung’s mouth connected to Lisa’s pussy, which was dripping like a faulty faucet.
You took a healthy handful of Lisa’s ass cheek and squeezed, taking a moment to appreciate that you were indeed fucking the Lisa Manoban’s ass. You gave her a good couple spanks just for good measure. This was clearly up Lisa’s alley, as she said “mmm fuck yes Y/N, rough fuck me from behind like the slut I am.” With your cock filling her up, all of the cum lube from before had started to drip out of her ass and run down her cheeks, until it made its way through her pussy folds. Chaeyoung was there at the end of the stream, ready to lap it all up.
“She likes having her hair pulled whilst your inside of her.”
“Chaengie, stop exposing me!” quipped Lisa, as if she wasn’t already fully exposed, her pussy eaten and her ass spread open. 
You leaned forward and bunched up Lisa’s hair in your hand. Pulling her head back as you pounded her back end, making sure to deliver more spanks as she shivered in pleasure.
It didn’t take long before Lisa moaned between gasps of air “I’m gonna… cum… already. Don’t stop fucking that hole Y/N… keep sucking my clit… right there Cha- OH” 
Lisa came like an unhinged sprinkler, her body rippling and coiling in all the right places, and Chaeyoung had to close her eyes as Lisa started to gush and squirt all over her pretty little face.
You kept fucking Lisa throughout her orgasm, but she eventually pulled forwards slightly from over stimulation. You pulled your cock out of her ass, promising to yourself in your head that you’d return to that tight cavern one day.
Noticing your hard on floating in the air, Chaeyoung wiped her hand across her face like she had just been submerged in a pool, except instead of water it was Lisa’s squirty cum. With her hand now slick with girl juice, she reached up and started to pump your cock. Evidently, these two were fans of using cum as lube. But like fuck, you were too after tonight.
“Chaeyoung, shift down towards the edge more.” As she complied, you gently pulled Lisa along so that her pussy lined up with Chaeyoung’s mouth. Her head was now hanging off of the bed slightly, exactly where you wanted it. You placed your thumb on Chaeyoung’s lips and swiped it across them. They returned to their position with a slight bounce.  Without even needing to say the words, she opened her mouth wide, her tongue looked as inviting as ever. Using Lisa’s ass as a handhold, you bent your knees until Chaeyoung’s mouth was on fucking level, and in one thrust you glided along her tongue until you hit her throat. As expected, Chaeyoung’s throat shared similar properties with her pussy: incredibly tight and the perfect sleeve for your cock. You revelled in the feeling of her warm tongue and throat massaging your rod. Each thrust was a delight. Damn these two idols knew how to take dick.
Even though you had already cum once, you knew you wouldn’t last long throatfucking Chaeyoung like this, so after a few more savouring thrusts you pulled out. “Hey, where are you going..?” Chaeyoung asked, as if her food was being taken away mid meal.
You answered her question with an action, slowly pushing the full length of your member into Lisa’s glorious pussy, which was accompanied by a gentle moan. You continued alternating between Chaeyoung’s upside down mouth and Lisa’s cunt, one slow thrust at a time. It was hard to tell which was more slippery.
“Making it last and still fucking us both at the same time? Don’t worry Y/N, this isn’t the last time we’re doing this, I can tell you that right now.” Lisa’s words reassured you, as did her pussy wrapped around your cock.
“Where do you want my 2nd load?”
“Your call Lisa, he already came insid-“ The end of her sentence was cut short, as you had just pulled out of Lisa and stuffed Chaeyoung’s mouth full again.
“My mouth is a bit dry Y/N, why don’t you quench my thirst?”
“You’ll have to turn around then Lisa, get your sexy little mouth over here, I’ve been close for a while now.”
She quickly hopped off from on top of Chaeyoung and swivelled around to face you (but she returned to lying on top of Chaeyoung anyway). You tapped on Lisa’s open tongue with your cock, and then watched it disappear as you thrust your hips forward.
“I like watching my best friend swallow your cock Y/N. She wants your cum. Are you gonna give it to her? Please cum down her throat, she's a dirty fucking cum whore babe, let it all out babe, nut in her, please.”
Chaeyoung’s accent as she pleaded for you to cum down Lisa’s throat sent you spiralling. She was a main vocalist in more than just singing. You thrust deep into Lisa's mouth one last time before groaning loudly. Hot spurts of cum coated Lisa’s mouth pipe, who greedily swallowed it all down. She wasn’t lying when she said she was thirsty.
You pulled out of Lisa’s mouth after your cock stopped twitching, now feeling well and truly spent.
"You really swallowed it all huh?" Chaeyoung noted.
"It's only fair, you got his creampie earlier."
You collapsed onto the bed next to Chaeyoung, whilst they casually discussed  your cum and the places it went.
Lisa looked over to face you with a sly grin. "You should come over again sometime, maybe we'll give you that audio recording."
“Come over again? Does that mean you’re kicking me out now?”
Lisa shook her head apologetically. That’s not what she meant.
Chaeyoung's hand stretched out behind her to find its place interlocked with yours, as if to make sure you weren’t going anywhere. "No, stay with us… tonight. But after that you should come over again, but only for the recording, no other reason." She teased in a sleepy voice.
"Really, no other reason?" You responded.
"Hmm, none that I can think off." She gently squeezed your hand, reassuring you of all the reasons that went unspoken.
A/N: How do people churn out smuts this long whilst still retaining some level of quality? I feel like I just submitted an assignment. Grade my paper and leave me feedback! Also, writing Rosé's name with the tilde above the e every time isn't worth it.
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daybrightsims · 10 months ago
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Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3
To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.
TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.
I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.
I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.
Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).
Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).
Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.
Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).
Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.
Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.
I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.
Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”
To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.
If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.
If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.
Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.
But it does.
Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.
Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.
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pretzel-box · 4 months ago
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woe, Reverse AU angst be upon ye (not necessarily a request, just a thought i had, but if anything strikes feel free to go ham :3 i also like to think about this with the og universe because i love feeling emotional pain 🧘🏾)
but instead of the reader having a classified file for themselves (& having it for sale), there are videotapes (or maybe different colored pendrives? CDs work too, i guess!!) scattered across the abandoned offices, and at first Sebastian isn't sure what to do with them, but then he meets p.ai.nter and they recognize those immediately, questioning why Sebastian is carrying that stuff with him in a concerned tone, and Sebastian just stares at the computer like, "??? okay, what's up with it?"
p.ai.nter is hesitant to show him what those hide at first, but eventually agrees to let him watch, then warns him that he is not going to like any second of it
Sebastian gets comfortable in front of the screen but is only greeted with an extremely heartbreaking scene– it's (now an experiment) reader visibly shaking as they stare in horror at their new body, unable to speak in any way while sobbing and whimpering, hugging themselves (or maybe their tail? guess it depends on the way readers want to look) and wondering what they had done to deserve this outcome, to be stripped of their humanity
now i personally like to think that the reader struggling to speak is something that comes with their body being altered, like everything is big so they're not used to any of it so really all they can do is cry and struggle to say a coherent sentence because it sounds like a garbled mess, but that is also me wanting to add salt to the wound because this is supposed to be sad ooooo ⚡⚡
anyway, at the end of it all (cause there was more than one video, a whole documentary on reader and the experiments done on them), Sebastian is left feeling too many emotions and he doesn't even know when he started crying but he is (since the reader he knows now is different from the one he just saw in the videos but deep down it hurts so much because that is the same person in different years of their life) and p.ai.nter isn't sure how to comfort him so they keep apologizing till Sebastian finally chooses to leave
next time he stops by reader's shop he can't even bring himself to stare at them properly because he's afraid he'll start bawling his eyes out, meanwhile, reader is just staring at him like ":3? no snarky comments or banter today wow what happened to him" unaware that he has seen The Horrors
that's all thanks for coming to my tedtalk
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Authors Note: This is inspired by this request but not 1:1 written like it. This is pure angst and some gore. READ AT OWN RISK.
Tags: GORE, Angst, Reversed AU, mentions of syringes, drugs and operations.
Words: 2,7k
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The sound of a click filled the room, followed by the small red light blinking on the video camera, indicating it was recording. Sebastian glanced at you with irritation as you held the camera—a little relic you'd scavenged from a deeper part of the facility—not too long ago. He shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of the leather jacket you had once sold him.
"And we are live!~ Say hello to the viewers, Seb!" you teased, shoving the camera playfully in his face. He immediately pushed it away with his hand, his scowl deepening.
"I get it, I get it," he grumbled, pointing at the camera with a mock glare. "You found a new toy. Now what? You planning to make a movie or something?"
You shot him a sharp look, the room growing colder as if you were subtly irritated by his comment. Sebastian could sense he'd hit a nerve, a rare feat considering your usual carefree attitude. But then, unexpectedly, you burst out laughing, clutching your stomach and flashing him the signature grin that always greeted him when he came to your shop.
"I’ve already starred in plenty,” you replied cryptically, your words hanging in the air with an eerie undertone. Sebastian opened his mouth to ask what you meant, but you cut him off with another sly comment. “Maybe you’re the next big star, Solace.”
After leaving your shop, Sebastian wandered through the halls of the Hadal Blackside facility, the encounter with you replaying in his mind. He’d grown to enjoy your company—your banter, your teasing, the way you challenged him. But today, something about your behavior felt off. Beneath the jokes and sarcasm, there was something else—something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. And that unsettled him like an itch he couldn’t scratch.
How could he be in a relationship with someone so different, so complex? You were like a puzzle with missing pieces, a riddle that refused to be solved. The more he thought about it, the more it nagged at him. His legs carried him on autopilot through the winding corridors, his mind consumed by thoughts of you.
It wasn’t until he found himself in the office segment of the building that he realized he’d been walking without really paying attention. His hand hovered over the keycard reader, and it struck him that he hadn’t even looked for the blue plastic card he needed to get through the next door. The desk was a mess of papers, ink, and tapes.
His eyes fell on an old, unlabeled tape, the kind they'd used for surveillance back in the day. Scrawled on it in red ink was a series of numbers: *Z-13.* The sight of it piqued his curiosity, a nagging feeling that it was significant. Without thinking, he slipped it into his pocket. He’d find a way to watch it later.
Sebastian rummaged through countless drawers, lockers, and cabinets, searching for the keycard, but instead, he kept finding more of those mysterious tapes. Each one seemed older than the last, covered in dust and marked with strange codes.
His practical side told him he should probably look through all of them, not just the one he had picked up. So, he gathered them into a makeshift box he'd found lying around and continued his search for the keycard, all the while wondering what secrets these tapes might hold—and what they had to do with you. He know the Name Z-13 was related to you.
If there was anything he knew for sure, it was that you were full of surprises. And maybe, just maybe, these tapes would help him understand you a little better.
By pure coincidence, Sebastian ran into P.AI.nter a while later as he continued through the seemingly endless corridors of the facility, taking casual steps despite the weight of the wonky box filled with random tapes he was carrying. The AI's sketched face flickered to life, its eyes narrowing with a curious gaze. "Quite the haul today, Sebastian," it remarked, its voice tinged with artificial cheerfulness. "Planning to deliver all of that to our trusty shopkeeper?"
Sebastian grunted in response, setting the box down on the floor with a thud. He raised his hands above his head, stretching to relieve the ache that had settled in his shoulders from lugging the heavy box around. "Can you play them?" he asked, his voice a mix of curiosity and exhaustion. It was a simple question, and he knew the answer even as he asked it—of course P.AI.nter could play a few tapes.
But as soon as the question left his lips, the room fell into an uneasy silence. P.AI.nter’s usual cheerful demeanor seemed to shift, its sketched form glitching for a moment as if processing something more than just data. The AI stared at Sebastian and the tapes, an uncharacteristic hesitation creeping into its expression.
"It's just a tape, Sebastian," P.AI.nter finally replied, its voice flat, devoid of its usual light-heartedness. There was something in the way it spoke—something guarded, almost cautious—that only fueled Sebastian's curiosity further. The AI’s reluctance was like gasoline on a fire.
“A tape I want to watch,” Sebastian shot back, his patience wearing thin. He was tired of the evasiveness, the constant roadblocks whenever he sought answers. He moved with purpose, selecting one of the tapes and sliding it into the nearest recorder, right next to P.AI.nter’s screen.
“I have to warn you, Sebastian,” P.AI.nter said, its tone shifting to something closer to pleading. The air between them grew heavy, the tension thickening as the tape began to whirl in the machine. Sebastian paused, the gravity of the AI's words weighing on him.
"You won’t like any second of it," P.AI.nter added, its voice barely more than a whisper. There was a finality in its tone, a sense of foreboding that hung in the air like a storm about to break. The familiar face of his AI friend got replaced by some white noise and then a black screen.
Sebastian’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched the screen flicker to life, unsure of what he was about to see but certain of one thing: whatever was on these tapes, it was something the facility—and P.AI.nter—wanted to keep hidden.
“Hellooo! I'm one of the new researchers here at the Hadal Blackside. I'm recording Tape Nr. XXXX in Containment Cell XXXX. Wish me luck!”
Sebastian watched as a cheerful person appeared on the screen, holding a camera up to their face. Excitement radiated from their eyes, and despite the poor quality of the footage, their energy was infectious. Some of the information on the screen glitched out, redacting key details as if the tape had deliberately scrambled those moments, keeping certain things obscured.
The person on the screen shifted their stance, and the camera followed their movement. “This is a video for my friend who was super excited to hear about my job. I totally stole the camera for this, so shhh, we can't get caught,” they whispered conspiratorially, a playful grin spreading across their face. There was something unsettling about their carefree demeanor, yet Sebastian couldn't help but feel a small flicker of amusement. The tape felt like a low-quality YouTube vlog, reminiscent of simpler times, with this familiar-looking worker goofing off for the amusement of a friend.
“They told me this is super secret stuff,” the voice continued, the lens panning around the containment cell. “But I just have to show you this.”
The video abruptly cut to another segment, the view shifting to reveal a massive anglerfish-like entity lurking behind an enormous glass wall. The waters it swam in were inky black, like thick oil, giving the creature an unsettling and eerie aura as it moved in the dark liquid.
“Isn't it cool?” the person behind the camera asked with an almost childlike wonder, pressing their flat hand against the glass. “They’re hiding this here! They do some voodoo fish shit in this facility. Even the human centipede would turn pale in envy.”
Sebastian froze as he watched the footage. The creature behind the glass was terrifying—a monstrous anglerfish, its grotesque form barely discernible in the murky waters. It was an unsettling sight, made even more disturbing by the fact that this reckless researcher was standing mere inches from one of the most dangerous entities imaginable, their tone light and casual as if they were commenting on the weather.
A chill ran down Sebastian’s spine as he continued to watch the video, his breath caught in his throat. The footage shifted again, but the image of the monstrous fish remained burned into his mind. His gut twisted with unease. What was this person thinking, standing so close to something so deadly? And why did they seem so familiar?
As the old tape continued to play, the weight of the discovery settled on Sebastian’s shoulders like a heavy boulder. Whatever secrets were buried in these tapes, he was certain they weren’t meant to be uncovered—especially not by him. Yet here he was, staring at a reality that seemed more and more like a nightmare. The things he saw so far in the blackside were not as terrifying as this giant monster that rested behind that glass wall.
The tape ended abruptly, and for a moment, there was only silence. Sebastian’s hands trembled as he reached down to turn the cassette over, the worn edges rough against his fingertips. He knew there were at least four more tapes waiting in the box at his feet, each one a potential gateway to another nightmare. His breath caught in his throat, a cold sweat forming on his brow. Still, his curiosity and a gnawing need for answers compelled him to continue.
With a shaky breath, he pressed the tape back into the player, flipping it to the other side. The screen flickered to life again, this time showing a cold, sterile operating room. Several figures in hazmat suits moved with practiced precision, their faces obscured by masks and goggles. The room was pristine, a stark contrast to the horror Sebastian knew was about to unfold.
“This is Experiment Nr. XXXX,” a calm, clinical voice narrated. “And our newest trial patient, Z-13, who volunteered for their transformation.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened as he recognized the person strapped to the operating chair—the same person from the earlier footage. They were bound tightly, their limbs secured as though they were a dangerous criminal. There was no mistaking the fear and confusion in their eyes, even through the drug-induced haze.
“Z-13 was administered XXXX, XXXX, and XXXX 20 minutes prior to the start of this procedure,” the voice continued with an unsettling detachment. “Their pupils are dilated, and the patient has entered a state of delirium, necessary for the next phase of the experiment.”
The camera zoomed in on the bound figure, their eyes bloodshot and unnaturally wide, darting around the room in a frantic, unfocused search for something familiar. Sebastian felt his stomach churn with a sickening realization—this was no volunteer. This was a person trapped, forced into an unimaginable horror. The idea of volunteering was just another lie, a thin veneer over a darker truth.
Sebastian’s fingers dug into his knees as he watched, his body tense with dread. He knew what was coming next, but the tape did not shy away from the gruesome details. The hours that followed were a blur of pain and suffering, each tape more harrowing than the last. Scenes of torn flesh and oily blood filled the screen, detached limbs falling to the sterile floor with sickening thuds. Each cut, each scream was more unbearable than the last. And those eyes—those haunted, slowly awakening eyes—followed Sebastian throughout each frame, pleading silently for mercy.
With each passing minute, it became painfully clear that the drugs were losing its effectiveness and the person that was tied to the chair gained the ability to feel every single thing that happened there. The delirium ended and the terror began.
The scream tore through the speakers with such intensity that Sebastian flinched. It wasn’t just a scream—it was a raw, visceral sound, a guttural cry filled with a mix of agony, fear, and desperation. It was a sound so primal that it clawed its way into his very bones, settling there with an uncomfortable weight. It was the worst thing he had heard in ages. Every nerve in his body screamed in empathy for the poor soul on the screen, the person whose existence had been reduced to nothing but a vessel for pain.
“Silence them,” a cold, emotionless voice commanded from off-screen.
Almost immediately, a set of cruel, metal clamps were forcefully shoved into the patient's mouth, prying it open with a brutality that made Sebastian wince. These were the kind of instruments used for people with severe jaw fractures, designed to immobilize and inflict pain to prevent further injury. But here, they were used as a tool of torture, a means to quiet the suffering that had become too loud for the facility’s sterile walls. The rough, unyielding metal dug into their flesh, tearing into the soft tissue of their mouth, blood trickling down their chin. The sight was gruesome, and Sebastian could feel his stomach twist with disgust.
The person’s screams were abruptly cut off, replaced by a wet, choking gurgle. They were left to suffer in silence, their jaw now clamped shut, the metal rods cruelly keeping it from moving even a fraction. Tears streamed down their face, their eyes wide with terror and pain, every muscle in their body taut with agony.
And just when Sebastian thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, the camera shifted. The surgeon, clad in a sterile suit that seemed to mock the very concept of humanity, moved over the patient's eyes. Those eyes—once filled with life, now wide with shock, pain, and a frantic, animalistic fear—darted around in sheer terror. They were crying frantically, tears mingling with the blood on their face.
“We will now begin our final part,” the disembodied voice continued with a chilling detachment. “Removal of the natural human eyes to replace them with XXXX using XXXX and XXXX. The expected results will lead to an ability to see underwater.”
Sebastian’s breath caught in his throat as he watched a gloved hand reach for a long, thin needle, the metal glinting ominously under the harsh, fluorescent lights. The needle was positioned directly over the patient's eye, the sharp tip hovering just above the delicate orb. Their wide, terrified gaze seemed to plead with the unseen surgeons, with the camera, with anyone who might be watching—to stop, to help, to do something.
But there was no help. There was no mercy.
The screen flickered for a moment, and then, mercifully, the tape cut to black. The room was plunged into darkness, the only sound the low hum of the equipment around him. Sebastian sat frozen, his heart pounding in his chest, his mind racing with the horrific images he had just witnessed. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white, the tension radiating through his entire body.
He was left alone in the darkness, his thoughts a chaotic whirlwind. The horror of what he had seen, of what had been done to someone who had likely never asked for any of this, crashed over him.
Then P.AI.nters face greeted him on the screen.
“They first drugged them, then they put in a row of ocean animal dna into their body.”
He was pointing out the steps that the surgeons did in the tape.
“They cut off their fingers, waiting for them to grow back. They took of the part from the knees to the feet…and then they noticed that it wasn't enough.”
Sebastian raised his hands, to put them over his ears.
“They lost both their healthy legs. Next was their ears, they cut it off. And then…they silenced them by closing their jaw.”
He could still hear P.AI.nter.
“And then they lost their eyes. The transformation from the human self to…the thing they are now…took 7 weeks. They attached and deattached plenty of stuff on them.”
For a moment he felt the urge to shut P.AI.nter off for good.
“Our shopkeeper went through much, don't you think?”
A loud sound filled the room and then there was darkness.
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honeybeefae · 9 months ago
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You're Mine (Eris Vanserra x Reader)
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Summary// After leaving Eris behind to fulfill your parents' desire for marriage, knowing the two of you could never be, you did your best to move on. It had been five years, and you were finally starting to settle into your life with your husband when a late-night visitor brought back feelings you thought you had long since buried. 
(This idea has burrowed its way into my head and won’t leave anytime soon, so I’m dragging you all into this with me. I hope you like it <3 It's been awhile since I've wrote anything so if you have any critiques or opinions, please let me know!)
WARNINGS: Smut, Fertility Issues, Verbal Abuse (Spouse), Physical Abuse (Spouse) (A slap but nothing more), Possessive!Eris, Jealous!Eris, Cheating, Breeding Kink, Spanking
Five Years Ago
“Mother, please!” You beg, tears streaking down your hot cheeks as she gives you a look full of pity. It was a useless cause to try to convince your father against this arrangement, but your mother… she used to be a dreamer like you. She once thought of running away with a prince, of living happily ever after, so why wouldn’t she give you the same chance?
“Darling, please, collect yourself.” She urges, grabbing your hands and pulling you towards her. “Pierre will be here any moment with his family. They cannot see you like this.”
“They don’t have to! You could sneak me out the back, let me run away with-” You begin only to flinch when she grabs your face roughly, her eyes shining with a strange mixture of anger and agony. 
“With you, Y/N? With Eris?” She hisses, eyebrows furrowing together. “He is the heir to the Court. He will never choose you. He cannot. He will go with whichever maiden secures more political power, and that is not you.”
Your lower lip trembles as her words cut through you like hot steel. They settle in your soul, trying to burn out any hope you might have, and yet you persist. 
“No, Mother, you don’t understand. I love him. He loves me. We’ve been courting for months, dancing together and strolling through the gardens. Hells, he gave me this!” You gesture to the ruby necklace resting above your collarbone, wrapped in a gold band that resembles a fox’s tail. “Everyone has seen us together. His family, my family, does that mean nothing?”
She stares at you for a moment, her mouth turning downwards as her fury fades into sorrow. You swallow, trying to get the lump in your throat to disappear as the silence stretches on, but it refuses. 
“My darling girl,” She coos, her hands now cupping your cheeks. “One’s first love is something special, an experience worth remembering, but it is one that is never meant to last. He has his duties, as do you. It was never meant to be.”
The realization of the situation hits you in waves of denial, anger, and agony. It makes your head swim, and your stomach lurch as you try desperately to find anything to keep you afloat. 
“What if he does choose me, though? What if his parents see me as he does? Someone who makes him smile and laugh, who treats him well. If you could just let me speak with him one more time, keep Pierre and his father busy, I only need an hour.” You try to bargain with her, placing your hands over her own. She goes to respond, your hope hanging by a thread, only for your father’s voice to rise above the two of you.
“He has moved on, Y/N.” He sighs, clearly exasperated by your antics. “Beron has told us about Eris’s betrothed. It’s been arranged since birth. It is time for you to do the same.”
“But if he knew, why would he fall in love with me? I know what I saw, I know what I felt.” You press, wrapping your arms around yourself as your father’s jaw clenches. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“You don’t think he would?” His scowl deepens as he glances at your mother over your shoulder before fishing for something in his coat pocket, ignoring his wife as she begins to protest. “Read this.”
“What is it?” You ask.
“Just read it.” He pushes the parchment into your hand, rolling his eyes.
Your fingers tremble as you glance at the letter, noticing Eris’s penmanship immediately. The words seem to blur together towards the end, but you realize it isn’t due to his writing but your tears. One of them splashes on the paper, staining it immediately as his voice echoes in your mind.
I regret to inform you of the ending of our courtship, effective immediately. Please know this is through not fault of your own. You were a wonderful experience. I should not have led you on, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Even though I am the least deserving of it. 
Yours,
Eris Vanserra
A loud sound echoed off the walls, and it wasn’t until your knees hit the floor that you realized it had come from you. You felt the world collapsing in, your dreams fading with each heartbeat as your worst fear came true. Your parents watched, one with sympathy and one with indifference, as you came to grips with reality. 
The silence after was choking you as the paper lay taunting you, his signature ingrained in your brain as a loud knock was heard from the front. Soft hands gingerly picked you up as your father’s footsteps led to the door, his voice booming as he greeted Pierre.
“Come now, Y/N,” She shushes you, brushing your tears away with a mother’s softness. “I know it hurts, but in time, it will fade, and you will find happiness with Pierre and your future family.”
“I cannot imagine feeling anything other than this, Mama.” You murmur, numbness starting to spread throughout your body as she smiles sadly and kisses your forehead.
“You will, sweet girl.” She assures you, pinching your cheeks to bring some color back as Pierre draws closer. 
“How do you know?” Your gaze raises to meet hers, searching.
She chuckles, though you know it is without humor, watching as she seems to drift far away for a moment before the sounds of your father's throat clearing behind you brings her back. 
Her arms pull you into a tight hug as she whispers into your ear, “Because I did.”
Present Day
From your wedding day to now, you have been desperately searching for the happiness your mom said would come. You threw everything into your relationship, forcing Eris into the darkest crevices of your heart so that you could move on. Pierre wasn’t an awful man. He was kind and generous, always concerned about your feelings and ensuring you were cared for. 
He knew about your past with Eris and never pushed you but soothed you like a balm to your soul. Your love for Pierre was different, but it was there; you just needed something more. However, you knew better than to dream of it. You could be happy with him, will be happy with him. 
Eris had made it very clear that he did not intend to return for you. He hadn’t even had the courage to come to your wedding nor send you any well wishes. You had seen him since, of course, but he always did his best to avoid you. If you did happen to catch his gaze during a dinner or ball, his eyes were always full of anger. 
It was in your best interest to forget all about him. 
You were torn from your thoughts as the front door opened, your husband poking his head around to look for you. A soft smile pulls at your lips effortlessly, rising up to greet him, only to stall when you see how angry he is. 
“Pierre, what is it?” You ask, forehead creasing as he all but slams a letter he had been holding onto the dining table.
“The new high lord,” He scowls, jaw clenching. “He is asking myself and the other merchants to travel across Prythian to secure new deals or else forfeit our titles.”
New high lord?
“Beron is dead?” You whisper, grasping the edge of the table. “How did he…who did…was it…?”
“Eris, yes, the treasonous snake,” Pierre grunts, raising his eyes to you. “It apparently happened overnight, and he is already throwing everything out. I knew he was a bastard, but to-”
“He is not a bastard,” You say before you can catch yourself, your mind screaming at you for rushing to his defense. You owe him nothing—no loyalty, no love, nothing. So why did you speak?
The air in the room seemed to change as he cocks his head, his eyes darkening dangerously. You feel the hairs on your neck raise as you step back, trying to put distance between you. However, Pierre doesn’t hesitate to follow you as the letter is now crumpled in his fist.
“I knew it.” He snaps, nostrils flaring as he grabs your arm and yanks you to him. You let out a small yelp, trying to push against him, but he doesn’t yield. “I’ve given you everything you could ever want. I’ve built you this home, this life when I could’ve treated you like filth.”
“Pierre, please, let go,” Your voice is a whimper as his grasp tightens. “You’re hurting me.”
“Me? Hurting you?” His laugh echoes off the walls, one of his hands running hastily through his hair. “Don’t act like you don’t deserve it. I’ve put up with this teenage moping for five fucking years. I’ve played the part of the gentleman, the family man, and you still can’t get over him. Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover what you are.”
Tears fall down your face as you sob, finally gaining the strength to rip your arm away as he turns and punches a hole into the wall beside him. You cannot stop yourself from trembling as his shoulders shake with fury, his breath coming in short pants.
“Do you know what they all tell me? Our friends and family?” Pierre asks, closing his eyes. “They tell me how sorry they are for me. How much they pity me. They’ve even suggested taking a whore on the side, so at least that way I could secure an heir.”
The last sentence strikes deep, one of your hands resting on your lower stomach as he gives you a mocking laugh. You had been trying to have a child for a while now. Under the care of a midwife, you had been drinking the teas, reducing your stress, and month after month, you failed. Pierre had been there for you throughout it, promising you that it was not your fault, and for him now to throw it back in your face…it made you sick. 
“Y-you told me that it was okay, that these things take time. Going into this marriage, you knew what I had been through and who my former lover was, and you said it was fine.” You hate how your voice trembles as you keep your eyes on the floor. “I thought you understood me, that you could see I was finally starting to heal, but was it all a lie? Have I been sleeping next to someone who I do not know?”
He watches you momentarily, taking in how meek you look and the tears that now stain your face. Footsteps fill the silence and stop once you see his feet, a soft hand coming to cup your chin and force you to look up.
Pierre was there in body but not in mind. The eyes that once held so much comfort were now empty, the smile now a scowl, and his touch burning rather than soothing. He turned your face from side to side, mesmerizing your beauty before smirking.
“I guess that’s two men who’ve used you now, huh?”
You don’t register the slap you gave him until you see his pupils dilate, your eyes widening in fear as your palm begins to burn from the contact. He snarls at you, and before you can apologize or scream, you aren’t sure which one, he backhands you and sends you spiraling to the floor. 
“I’ll be back in the morning, don’t wait up.” He calls over his shoulder, straightening his jacket before he walks out the door without even a glance at your crumpled body.
It takes longer than you’d like to admit to collect yourself off the floor, your face red-hot even though you know you have already healed. He hit you. He yelled at you, belittled you, and then slapped you as if it were nothing. A wolf in sheep's clothing. 
Your hands dig into the wood of the table as you pull yourself up, hating how weak you feel as you cry. This wouldn't have happened if you had kept your mouth shut. Why did you even say anything? After all this time, why did you feel you still needed to speak up for the man who deserted you?
“Fuck!” You scream as your sadness turns to rage, grabbing a nearby vase and hurling it at the wall. It instantly shatters and clatters to the floor, flower petals scattering everywhere with the glass shards. 
It doesn’t make you feel better. So you throw another vase and another, and then a portrait until the room looks like a tornado ripped through it. But nothing is working to fill the hole in your chest that was just violently ripped open once again. 
A clock nearby chimes out twelve times, and you blink as you realize how much time has passed. Your adrenaline leaves your body quickly as exhaustion takes place, and your eyes glare at the front door one last time before you start heading up the stairs.
However, as your foot hits the first step, a loud knocking startles you. At first, you think it’s Pierre, drunk and probably without a key, but then you hear a voice. A voice that has haunted your dreams for five years.
“Y/N? Y/N, open the door. I know you are in there.” 
It can’t be…
You tiptoe to the door, your heart racing as you stare down at the knob. What should you do? Why was he here? What did he want? Should you even let him in? The consequences could be deadly, especially after what he had done just last night to his own father, but your heart was winning over your head right now.
“Please, my love, let me in.”
Your hand grasps the knob and turns it before you can stop yourself, the door opening to reveal Eris.
He looks the same, damn him. His red hair was tied back in a half-up style, the rest falling over his slender shoulders covered in a thick, dark green coat. Eris’s eyes, the color of molten amber, met yours with a ferocity that made your breath catch. Your stomach fills with butterflies as the night air caresses your skin, whispering long-forgotten memories that send your heart fluttering. 
“Eris…” you whisper, your voice tight with emotion. Whatever spell had taken over the two of you broke as you said his name. His hands came up to grasp your face as he pulled you in and kissed you, lips molding to yours as if they had never told you goodbye. 
And, cauldron help you, you kiss him back just as fiercely. You had thought about seeing him again more often than you care to admit, about how you would scream at him for what he did to you or prove to him you were better off without him. But once again, your heart craves what your mind desperately tries to discard.
It’s only when your back hits the wall of the foyer that you pull away, gasping for air as you shove him back. He blinks, dumbfounded, and goes for you again, but you shake your head and slap his hands away, gaze hot as years of resentment flood your veins.
“How dare you come into my home and kiss me like that after all you did.” You seethe, teeth clenching as he regards you like a caged predator. “You can’t just show up and do that! You can’t come in here and ruin my marriage, my life like you have any ownership of me.”
“I don’t think I was the one to ruin your marriage, little fox.” Eris replies smoothly, standing straight and giving a pointed look behind you to the mess of a dining room. 
“Don’t call me that.” You snarl, wrapping your arms around your body for comfort. “You need to leave. Now.”
“I won’t,” He states, looking you over. “I’ve defeated my father. I’m rebuilding the court and our reputation, gutting it from the inside out. I’m here to collect the last thing I need.”
Your brain goes fuzzy as he stretches out his hand, waiting for you to fall into his arms as if the past were not there. As if his letter and necklace weren’t still tucked away in a drawer by your bed. No matter how badly you missed and yearned for him, you couldn’t forgive him that easily.
“You led me on for years,” You say softly, your voice numb as you take another step back. “You courted me as if you cared. You made me believe we were real, that we would be together forever. Do you think I could just forgive and forget that after you left me with only a letter for an explanation?”
“I thought you were smarter than that.” Eris sighs and clenches his jaw, running a hand down his face as he closes the front door. 
“Excuse me? Get the-” 
“I didn’t write that letter, Y/N.” He interrupts you, coming to stand in front of you in just two short steps. “My father forced me. And yours, for that matter. I would never let you go. It was only under threat of your own harm that I chose to obey, but I swore to myself that as soon as I took control, I would come find you.”
The angry retort you had building dies in your throat, your head tilting to the side as if you hadn’t heard him correctly. 
“You…you didn’t mean what you wrote?” Your voice has a hint of hope, like the last spark of a fire, but you can’t help it. If he was telling the truth, and you still weren’t entirely convinced he was, it meant he had been waiting for you all these years. 
He grabs your face again, but it’s soft and caring this time, his thumb brushing across your cheek and collecting a tear you didn’t know had escaped. You look into his eyes, finding nothing but honesty, which only worsens it. 
“It hurt that you think I would treat you that way, that I could just throw everything we had away…” Eris whispers, tilting your chin up so you can’t look away. “I’m not your husband. I take care of what is mine. Forever. ”
The mention of him makes you wince and somewhat come back to your senses, glancing towards the clock and realizing he could be back at any moment. If he caught you with Eris, there would be no telling what he would do. Eris could take care of himself; he was a High Lord now after all, but you were vulnerable.
“Pierre…he could be home any minute. Eris, you can’t be here. You need to leave.” You frown, trying to move past him, only to gasp when his hand moves down to your neck and stills you. The hold isn’t tight, but you freeze, wide eyes looking up at him in worry. “Eris, if he finds you here with me-”
“Did you not hear what I said, little fox?” He asks mockingly, bowing his head so his lips can brush against your ear. “I take care of what is mine. And you are mine.”
Eris accentuates his words with a roll of his hips, his half-hard cock pressing against your lower half teasingly. You don’t stop the whimper that sneaks past your lips or the way your neck turns so he can mouth over your pulse point. 
“I’ve waited years for this moment, to see you again and take you home. I’ve watched as that pathetic excuse for a man dotes on you and brags about how pretty you sound in bed.” He growls, grabbing your hips and lifting you up effortlessly as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist. “The only thing that kept me sane was knowing you weren’t moaning from him like you did for me, that he can’t fill you up like your needy little pussy begs for.” 
“Please…” You whine, though you aren’t entirely sure what you are asking for. His touch was like fire against your cool skin, setting you aflame in a way you hadn’t felt in years. 
One of his hands snakes between the two of you and quickly finds your panties, his lips curling back as he feels the heat of your cunt. You swear you hear him purr as he begins to furiously bite and suck on your neck and collarbone, marking you. 
“Tell me what you need.” Eris commands, pulling back to look into your eyes.
Words fail you momentarily as you stare at each other, your heart threatening to explode as he refuses to drop his gaze. There were so many consequences to this decision, no matter what you choose, and so many things that need to be said before you can logically proceed.
But when the pad of his thumb presses against your clit and circles it slowly, the corner of his mouth tilting up to smirk, you know logic will not win tonight. 
“You, Eris,” You moan, trying to press further onto his hand for more friction. “You’re all I’ve ever needed.”
You don’t have time to scream as he squeezes you tightly and carries you up the stairs, your body bouncing so that your lower half hits his cock with each step. He groans and looks around momentarily before kicking open your bedroom door. He then throws you onto the bed and starts to undo his belt, all while keeping those burning amber eyes on you.
“Strip. Now.” He orders, voice raspy as you hastily follow his instructions, your fingers fumbling with the laces of your corset. Eris is already naked by the time you have it halfway undone, his pale skin glowing in the moonlight as he stalks over to you and grabs both sides of your top. 
“I hope you weren’t too fond of this.” Eris hums, giving no warning as he rips it in two.  You shiver as the cool air licks at your skin, your nipples pebbling while he licks his lips in anticipation. “I always thought you looked better bare anyways.”
Heat runs down your body at the comment, your thighs clenching, immediately catching his eye. You try to rise up on your knees to kiss him, but he is quick to pin you down, straddling your waist as his cock rests heavily over your cunt. 
“Let me touch you, please,” You don’t even recognize your own voice as you beg for him. It had been so long since you had felt this needy for someone. “I need something, anything, just please!”
Before you can babble anymore, his lips collide with yours, claiming you possessively as two of his fingers prod at your soaking pussy. He bites down on your bottom lip, and at the same time, he shoves his fingers inside, giving you no prep as he swallows your cries. 
“I know, baby, I know,” He coos into your ear, moving to nibble on your earlobe. “We can make love next time, but right now, right now I need to fuck your pretty little brain out to make up for lost time.”
Your back arches as he curls his fingers, finding your spot with ease and teasing you as he kisses down your neck and to your breasts. He sucks your left nipple into his mouth, capturing it between his teeth and tugging until you moan. His cock is leaking against your thigh as he ruts against you. 
Rough sex wasn’t new to you, though it had been a while. Pierre was always gentle, taking his time, and while Eris had his moments, he was quite fond of making you beg. However, when fantasizing about this, you always imagine Eris cherishing the moment. This was raw and feral.
“Eris, I’m c-close…” You groan, rolling your hips so he can get even deeper. Your walls flutter around his thick fingers, squeezing them, but right before you can fall over the edge, he pulls them out roughly. “No!”
“The only way you are cumming tonight is around this cock.” He grunts, flipping you over so that you are lying on your stomach before dragging your hips up. Both of his hands squeeze your ass before he lines himself up to your hole, rubbing his length up and down to coat himself in your slick.
“Ohhh fuck…” You moan as the head catches on your clit, your entire cunt throbbing in anticipation. “Fuck me.”
“Not yet, little fox. I want you to tell me how badly you want it.” Eris says lowly, grasping his cock and barely pressing into you before pulling away. “Tell me how much you missed me, how much you thought about me while your husband fucked you in this bed.”
Your nails dig so hard into the mattress you are sure you’ll rip it as you screw your eyes shut, already so sensitive from his teasing. It felt so wrong to speak the thoughts you have been burying for so long, to admit that you never got over the High Lord behind you. 
All of your inhibitions get thrown out the window, though, as he lands a harsh smack on your ass, his fingers pinching your clit in annoyance. 
“Don’t pretend like you haven’t thought about this, about me, Y/N. That whenever your husband would roll over at night after a mediocre fuck you wouldn’t rub that needy clit while wishing it was me.” He hisses, one of his hands grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking until your neck is craned up. “Give yourself to me, let it go.”
“Yes, okay, yes, I haven’t stopped thinking about you!” You sob, every nerve in your body on edge as he grins in approval. “Every time I had sex, every night in the bath, I couldn’t stop picturing your hands. Your chest. Your cock.”
Eris rewards your confession with what you had been craving, thrusting his entire length in one fluid movement as your pussy burns from the stretch.��
“More. Give me more.” He demands, pulling almost all the way out before snapping his hips forward.
“I-” You swallow, your mind starting to fuzz with the ecstasy of having him back inside you. “I would close my eyes and pretend it was you. I wanted it to be you. He could never compare to you, could never make me feel this good.”
Your head drops down as he lets go of your hair in favor of grabbing your hips, hypnotized by the way your cunt swallowed him whole. His hair was starting to stick to his forehead as he truly fucked you. There was no gentleness, no tendrils of love, just pure ownership and passion.
And cauldron damn you did you love it.
“Gods damn it,” Eris swears, moving one of his hands underneath you to rest on your abdomen so he could feel just how deep inside you he was. “Touch yourself, Y/N. I want you to cum on my cock as I fill you up.”
There was a distant panic in the back of your head at the thought of him cumming inside you. You weren’t on any special tea to prevent pregnancy. In fact, you were on something to encourage it. 
“Eris, wait-” You try to protest, your words dying in your throat as he starts to rub your clit for you. His hands are calloused from years of use, giving you the friction that you need to cum within minutes. “Eris, I’m not on any birth control. If you-”
“What, you think I don’t want to knock you up?” He chuckles, voice rough as he increases the speed of both his fingers and thrusts. “Oh, Y/N, did you already forget you’re mine? I came here to claim you and breed you, little fox.”
“Oh my gods,” You whimper, the image only making you draw closer to your finish as he bends over to get right next to your ear. 
“You’re going to take all of my cum and thank me for it. I’m going to do what your husband couldn’t, right here in his bed for him to smell when he comes home.” Eris sneers, a tingle going up his spine as he feels his balls tighten with the need to release. “I’ll have you barefoot and pregnant for me before he can even come get you. You’re fucking mine.”
“Yours, Eris!” You repeat, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you clench around him. He gives one more circle on your bud, and you are gone, lost to a mind-numbing orgasm that has him throwing his head back and roaring. 
Every muscle in your body tightens and releases as you greedily milk his own cum into your womb, your screams echoing off the bedroom walls. You don’t even register Eris biting your shoulder, the pain mixing dangerously with the pleasure as small rivulets of blood run down your back. 
You feel your knees give out as you collapse onto the bed, lungs begging for air while Eris slowly pulls out of you. He is silent, and you have just enough strength to look back to see him watching his speed leak out of your gaping hole, his fingers quick to collect it and stuff it back inside you.
“Eris…” You whisper, your eyes are heavy as he gingerly lifts you up and cradles you in his arms. “Is this…did you really come back for me?”
He lets out a small huff of air in humor as he nods, kissing your forehead and smoothing away your hair. Exhausted, you lean into the touch, and he seems to hold you closer. “I’ll always come back for you, little fox.” 
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loneisland · 3 months ago
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🏷️ tags fem! reader, shopaholics, outrageous amounts of money, pro player! michael kaiser
author's note i had already sort of expanded on this idea of a shopaholic gf on my old blog, but i kept on rethinking about it and about mihya and so this little drabble came out of my head! enjoy
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Your expensive taste can’t be helped — or at least that’s what you tell your boyfriend, Michael Kaiser, as he discovers another pair of Manolo Blahnik boots stuffed in the lower compartment of your shared walk-in closet.
It wasn’t as if Mihya was cheap, but force of habit and his experience growing up had made him frown upon the luxuries he could now afford rather than enjoy them, despite his girlfriend being rather fond of it herself.
« Nouvelle saison! Do you know what that means, Mihya? New! New season! They’re- they’re so- »
« They’re just like any other pair of boots that you own » he sighs, closing the closet door. He walks over to the kitchen island and settles his elbows on the marble counter.
His nonchalant behaviour is slowly getting on your nerves, you think, and you let the hand settling on your hip betray your thoughts. « That’s just it. They’re not like any other pair, they have a silver buckle on the side, and the sole is so much nicer. You just don’t get it. »
You turn around to fetch your new boots from the closet to settle them on your shoe-shelf.
« Whatever, as long as it’s not my money, » Michael shrugs, sipping on his mug looking ahead through the window glass pane.
You freeze, and slowly turn around.
« But it is your money. »
Michael looks over the counter, only to find his Amex black card sitting on the edge of it, next to your purse and keys. If he’s mad, the blonde doesn’t show it, as he instead focuses his stare back to his mug, inspecting the coffee residue left at the bottom.
When he speaks up, you’re torn between surprise and confusion.
« Use the insignia jewellery card next time you go shopping instead of that one. You’ll like it better, i think. »
By the time you realise that was his way of telling you he loved you, your beloved had left the living room entirely, opting to lounge in your shared bedroom instead.
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yes this is a repost, after the fright that was my account being terminated i decided that i do not deserve to be shadowbanned, this is a revolution!!
@loneisland 2025 - all rights reserved. Do not copy, modify or translate my content
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mylight-png · 5 months ago
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The Words We Use
Jumblr, we really need to reevaluate the words we use to talk about Judaism and Jews and such. Far too long we've been rather lax about these things.
Earlier today I was talking to a friend and she used the term "Jewish Russians" which immediately rubbed me the wrong way. (She's super chill and I've known her most of my life, she meant no harm by it.) I thought about it, and what I realized is that this specific wording, though listing it first, puts the Jewish identity as secondary. By saying "Jewish Russians" the "Jewish" is used as a subcategory of Russains. In reality, this term refers to Jews whose diaspora experience was in Russia. Too long, people have used our diaspora experiences as our central identifiers, and tack on "Jewish" as a classifier within that category.
This is not accurate, not historically, scientifically, or socially.
Socially and historically, Jews were always treated as a category of our own, regardless of where in the diaspora we were located. My parents in the Soviet Union did not have "Russian" or "Moldovan" written in their passports. They had "Jew" written there. I have heard countless tales of hostility and discrimination due to them being Jewish. In Spain, during the Inquisition, Jews who converted were called "conversos", a category of their own despite the forced assimilation. In the Middle East, Jews were treated as second class citizens due to being Jewish, even if they converted. ("Yahood" or "Jew" in Arabic is still commonly used as an insult in ME communities.)
We were never Jewish Russians, Jewish Spaniards, Jewish Moroccans, etc. We were Jews in Russia, Jews in Spain, Jews in Morocco. Even the term itself, "diaspora", (according to Oxford languages: "the dispersion or spread of a people from their original homeland") indicates a separate origin.
Genetic studies confirm this, showing that Jews in whatever region they spent exile in would still be more genetically similar to Jews in other regions than goyim in the regions they lived in.
My parents are not Jews from Eastern Europe. They are Jews whose diaspora experience was in Eastern Europe. Even saying we're "from" there, gives people the wrong idea.
Next up, more commonly discussed, is calling some Jews "white". No Jew is "white" in any sense of that word. White-passing, yes. White, no. In society, being white is more social than physical. It's based on how you're treated, what your status in society is, based on ethnicity/race.
"Jewish" is an ethnicity, and has been considered a race historically. No Jew is white. Many have features commonly associated with being Jewish, and their treatment will of course vary from the experiences of more white-passing Jews. But even the most white-passing Jew will have to deal with antisemitism in some way.
We need to stop saying "white Jews" and replace it with "white-passing". Denormalize language that positions Jewishness as only religion.
To combine the previous concepts:
Replace "Jewish *blank*" with "*blank* Jews" when talking about countries of recent origin.
Instead of "Jews from *blank*" use something along the lines of "Jews with diaspora experiences in *blank*".
Instead of "white Jews" use "white-passing Jews".
It is so incredibly important that we use language that accurately reflects our identity as Jews, instead of settling on commonly used language that is inaccurate.
And finally, could we please normalize using "Judeans" instead of "Jews"? It's not as important as the other switches but it is so important to highlight our origins in Judea, and it could be a useful way to bring that fact into the spotlight.
Fellow Jews/Judeans, feel absolutely free to reblog with other language switches you'd want to see in our communities, whether in the same theme or not.
Goyim, please refrain from speaking over us on this, but I'd appreciate you amplifying this if you'd like to!
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ceilidho · 6 months ago
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This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol
first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.
i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.
second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.
one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.
and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!
additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.
plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).
there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!
i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.
and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.
and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.
as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.
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thetravelingmaster · 6 months ago
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Short Story: Choosing Enthralment
Male's point of view - Hypnosis - Brainwashing - Conditioning
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“That’s it… Just sink deeper and deeper into trance… Deeper and deeper into blissful surrender … Deeper and deeper into thoughtless obedience…”
I’m not completely convinced, even though I explained it to her multiple times, that she fully understood what she was agreeing to when we negotiated the terms and limits of her hypnotic submission to me. There was no intent to trick her on my part because I was very clear about what I wished to achieve with her if she wished to dive into my control.
“Deeper and deeper… Reaching a place with no will of your own… No thoughts of your own… Sinking into blissful nothingness… Open and obedient… Letting go of everything inside your mind except the will of your Master.”
Saying she understood everything we talked about, she agreed to let me use hypnosis to conquer her mind and bend her to my will. She agreed that I could use any means available to make me her Master in her eyes. She was so eager… Excited and aroused by the idea of being brainwashed like one of those cartoon characters that ignited her kink when she saw them helplessly mind controlled as a teen.
“Feel my words reach into your mind… Expertly soothing you as they take hold of the mental collar that completely controls you… Completely commands you… That makes your mind… And your body… My property…”
Did she think hypnosis would be 100% effective with such an eager mind as hers? Did she believe that deep down, she wouldn’t truly be claimed and would simply play along to experience her kink? She was adamant that she knew it was real and that if I was good enough, she would truly be brainwashed.
I guess I still can’t quite believe that a young perky girl like her would so eagerly give up her freedom to become brainwashed and enslaved.
“Sinking deeper still… Sinking into the depths of your true self… Sinking to a place where my words can reshape your mind… Your thoughts… Your beliefs… You understand and embrace that deep down… At the core of your being… You are no longer a real person… You are the organic object I own and completely control… You exist to serve and obey…”
I took things slow of course…
Allowing her many opportunities to speak up and change her mind… Test her limits….
But with every session, she grew more and more excited by the results and the pleasure it gave her to let go and surrender to my will. So with every session, I accepted her submission by sinking my control ever deeper within her mind until one day, she realized that she no longer saw herself as an independent person, but as my helpless thrall.
It was so fascinating to watch her get so intensely aroused by the notion that when it came to my dominance and use of her, she no longer felt like she had a choice.
And by then, with the exception of her safe word, she really didn’t have a choice…
“Everything you are is mine to command and enjoy… Your mind is utterly open to my will… Easily changed and programmed for your Masters’s pleasure… Your body is a helpless tool that exists entirely to serve and please your Master…”
Up until a few weeks ago, she had been my thrall only when we met up or did online calls, but then she surprised me by asking, out of the blue, if I would consider letting her move in with me so she could be mine full time. I initially refused and told her to take the time to truly understand what she was asking. Which she supposedly did…
Her request didn’t waver one bit so I agreed to let her live with me for one week so she could really experience what it would mean to live with me. To be sure she understood, I was a lot harsher than usual with her and constantly tranced her or ordered her to do the most menial things that were clearly not erotic. I truly treated her like an object and to my surprise, the more I did the hornier she got.
“You are my hypnotic thrall… My obedient slave… You have no choice but to obey your Master… You cannot resist the words of your Owner… You are an object of pleasure… A warm enthralled sleeve for your Master’s cock… You exist to serve his pleasure whenever and however he wishes…”
I’d be lying if I said that our whole situation didn’t make me as excited and eager as her. Especially after that ‘trial week’ where I got to enjoy my very own live-in hypno-thrall and sex slave. It was clear we both wanted this so I felt bad for sticking to the high road by constantly telling her that she needed to take it slow and think about it.
As much as I insisted though, she insisted even more that she was eager to fully give herself to me and decided to prove it to me by offering me a special week living with her. Like the week before, she would live with me but unlike the previous week, I couldn’t hypnotize her or use any triggers on her. She wanted to prove to me that she was just as willing to serve me even if there was no hypnotic compulsion to force her to do so.
I obviously agreed and was just as commanding and harsh with her as I was the week before. I treated her like the slave she wanted to be and enjoyed her as much as I could without once feeling her resist or hearing her complain.
After such a wonderful show of devotion, I couldn’t keep denying her so I finally agreed to let her move in with me full time.
“Good… Very good… Now my dear… When I say the words ‘Awaken to your purpose’… Your mind will shift from deep trance to a state of waking trance… Your awareness will awaken, but you will not have the ability to think… You will stay perfectly mindless… Perfectly docile and kneel before me… You will have no other thought except your desire to serve my pleasure…”
Admittedly, her hypnotic subjugation reached new heights after that and if it wasn’t for the safe word I buried deep in her psyche, I’m pretty sure there’s no longer any tangible way for her to escape my control. I’ve given her exactly what she wished for and now, she truly believes, with all her aroused little heart, that she is nothing more than my property.
She’s allowed me to own every single inch of her and in so doing, gave me free rein on how I use her for my pleasure and service. Thanks to her daily files, she’s constantly compelled to perform her daily chores, keeping herself healthy and alluring. She has edged herself until her body could keep itself constantly aroused so that I may enjoy her pussy at a moment’s notice. She’s trained her mouth and throat every day so that she can properly suck my cock and fully deep-throat my modest girth.
Her whole life has become a carefully constructed series of trances and compelled tasks that effectively prevents her mind from thinking about anything except the moment she is in. No confusing or worrisome memories of the past to cause her stress… No anxious thoughts about what the future may or may not hold…
And since every moment of her life is filled with constant arousal and pleasure, her mind has zero desire to do anything except dive deeper into her present life of mind controlled service.
I still make a point to check in with her after she’s spent a few days free of trances or compulsion, but by now her new life has been so thoroughly conditioned into her mind by now that even awake and free from suggestions, she doesn’t want to be anything else. She’s as happy as a girl like her could possibly be and no one is able to convince otherwise.
I’m still convinced she didn’t quite understand what she was asking me to do to her, but since I gave her every opportunity and warning so she could keep her freedom, I’ve decided that I’m going to keep enjoying her until the day her safe word triggers. I’ll trust in her deep self to know when she’s had her fill of mindless servitude even though part of me thinks she never will and I’ll be able to keep this wonderful girl in a constant state of enthrallment and sexual servitude.
Or is that my own selfish hope?
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