#I listen to a lot of other music too
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polarisbibliotheque · 2 years ago
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Music Tag Game \o/
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I was tagged by the ever wonderful @kaus-quietis to show you (and consequently talk about) my questionable musical taste :D
Thank you so much for the tag, dear!! Music is so important to me, it makes me sparkle with joy when someone wants me to talk about it!
Originally, I wanted to pursue a musical career, but it was strictly forbidden by my family. Only now I'm starting to get into art, but music has always been a secret passion for me "^^
So without further ado, first one is the music we have in common, second one is mine:
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Why did I underline a few in Kaus'?
Siouxsie and the Banshees and DIO are two artists that I've heard of and want to check out more of their music. Siouxsie, I haven't heard, but given the fact I like The Cure, I think I'm gonna like it. DIO, I've heard a couple of songs, mostly from my Guitar Hero days, and I do like it. Gotta check more music.
Arctic Monkeys, I think I have a couple of their songs on my playlist. I don't know MUCH about them, but the songs I have, I enjoy very much!
Rachmaninoff, I listen to whenever I'm on a piano listening mood. Given that Matt Bellamy from Muse is very much inspired by him, I listened to a lot of Rachmaninoff when I was in high school - but I don't really have one specific song I like to listen to. I'm more of a Tchaikovsky girl, given that I do adore all his ballets too xD
A little bit more about mine
My musical preference is everywhere, but there are two important moods: beautiful idyllic romantic Studio Ghibli style and let's set the whole fucking world on fire style. Also, there's the good vibes fun type of music.
Regarding favourite bands: Muse and U2 are at the very top of my list, since I was a kid. I love their sound, their feeling, experimentation, lyrics, visuals... Everything. I borrow a lot from them when writing and playing.
Also, I absolutely adore Matt Bellamy.
Cazuza and Skank, if you never heard about them, they are Brazilian musicians with GREAT songs. From Skank, I recommend Resposta, Garota Nacional and Vou Deixar as starters. From Cazuza, the poet of Brazil, I recommend Ideologia, O Tempo Não Para and Brasil. Get the translation of the lyrics - you're gonna cry with O Tempo Não Para. I guarantee it.
On OSTs: I listem to them a lot. When I was a rebellious little piano player, I found in OSTs the common ground with my family who wanted me to play classical music while I wanted to play rock n' roll. I have a deep love for it now - and I gotta say, Cyberpunk 2077 has one of THE BEST OSTs I've ever heard in my life. So many songs from it on my playlist :')
I'm also using it and Darksynth and Industrial Metal while I'm writing my Cyberpunk-style book, it's more than amazing.
Johnny Silverhand is ALSO amazing, I love that unlovable man, he definitely inspired my whole book and another personal story I have which is literally a woman who talks with ghosts and her guardian angel who is a recently deceased rockstar :)
Well, regarding piano: like I said, I'm more of a Tchaikovsky person, love most of his work. I also like Liszt, Debussy, Mozart, Vivaldi and such; but I also love searching for piano covers of modern songs you think are never going to turn out good - but then lo and behold, they do.
That's 'cause I like playing music by ear on the piano. My mom says what she likes about it is that she never imagines the songs I choose could sound good on the piano, but I make it obvious that the melody of the song itself is beautiful. I don't think it's a "me" thing, I think we often get distracted by everything else in the song, we tend to ignore that ultimately what we fall in love with is the beautiful melodies behind it.
Overall, I like controversial people who make music, art and lyrics that make people think. I like a more sort of in-your-face kind of thing, that actually says things and fights what's seen as conventional/conservative society. I do think art is a way to fight the system and being counter-politically-correct is an inherent part of it (with its limits too, I have to add).
I'm aware it's an extreme point of view and not everyone agrees with it, you're welcome to disagree with me, don't worry! ^^
I'm a product of catholic school
Now, after all my musical blabbering, I also have to state I have an unhealthy thing for bassists and guitarrists. Dunno why, I fall in love with them and I adore musical people. I could happily drown in their music, no regrets.
My tendencies are bigger towards bassists, though
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And this is the son of a b*tch who decided to claim my heart currently and I'm hating it, my personal nightmare.
I'll leave you with that currently xD
I was going to recommend a few songs from each artist I listed, buuut the post is already too big. I'm gonna do it in a next post!
you got me talking about music, I'll never stop now
I'm no pressure tagging @furyeclipse and @princesssakurasylveon, I thought you guys might like it and I am curious about what kind of music you love ^^
Also, if anyone else wants to do it, you're tagged too!! Go!!
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turtleblogatlast · 4 months ago
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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zevranunderstander · 6 months ago
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number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)
#myposts#kendrick lamar#drake#i updated it from 'white europeans' to 'people' because some people pointed out that 'gringo' is probably more south american lingo#but the point i wanted to make is like. there is this subset of european people (quite a lot of them)#who try to deflect by saying them not knowing these things isn't because of an active lack of disinterest in black culture and influences#and like. them not knowing who a certain black person is is never an educational failing on their side of any sorts#but instead are pretending that like. they are by virtue of being european always correctly educated on What History And Art Is Important#like. 2 months back that one post pretending that 'us europeans dont need to know all your AMERICAN writers 🙄' talking about james baldwin?#like just because that person didnt know who james baldwin was#they immediately were mad at the implication that They Didn't Know Someone Of Cultural Significance#and twisted it into 'well he cant be that important by virtue of me not knowing him'#like completely ignoring that the european school system also has. race problems and also ignoring that he lived and wrote in France too#but like. its this really racist defence mechanism of like. 'well you stupid americans always make everything about yourselves'#i hope i make sense i didnt think this would blow up lol#and like some people in the notes of that post were so smug about not knowing who Kendrick Lamar is#bc to them thats like 'oh im too cultured to be listening to rap of any sorts' like completely dismissing his music as kind of second class#by virtue of it being rap and black music and him not being in the White Mainstream as much as other musicians#(i mean hes still like 24th most listened artist worldwide but you get what i mean)
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ignatiusteto · 3 months ago
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i think sacred music in the kryn dynasty would be very cyclical and repetitive in form to symbolize the idea that life is a continuous thing (at least those who are consecuted right right) and is a cycle across lifetimes and yeah
#court rambambles#cr#critical role#kryn dynasty#finishing up my religions class and i've used the last two topics to research non-western music because hi music major western music gets#super fucking boring. and i've been having a Blast listening to classical indian music. this shit slaps. i fucking LOVE music with drones.#but since this is a religions class obvs im researching in in the context of religion so I'm doing music in hinduism and this was something#brought up in like 2 sentences not even in a paper im using a a ref and it reminded me a lot of this and idk yknow. very neat.#ive been thinking a lot about fantasy music as well. okay like using western music and medieval western European music as inspo is fine and#dandy.#but like goodness guys there are so many other amazing cultures and styles and genres of music and subdivisions within cultures and i just.#im so amazed by them. give me that microtonal music give me these awesome instruments give me these great scales and rhythms and just. yes#if anyone comes from some non western European cultures and has neat traditional/folk/classical/whatever music and they want to share it my#dms and ask boxes are/should be open and stuff. please i just like learning about music across the world#*non western-european bc yknow eastern europe has unique things too#FOLLOW ME FOR MORE POSTS LIKE THIS WHERE I RAMBLE ABOUT MUSIC AND MY INTERESTS. SOMETIMES I EVEN POST ART AND TALK ABOUT MY OCS WHOAAAA#please talk to me about music i just really like music. it's not like im majoring in it at all. is it a smart idea in this economy with adh#wellll yknow
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makeriia · 16 days ago
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Fantober day 31!! A free day again.
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Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)
#THEM. THEM. *SHAKES HANDS IN AIR* THEEEEEEEMMM#Honestly it’s surprising I havent gotten into the fandom sooner I mean I have been a mythology nerd since??? Uhhh#idk. But every week I see a notif from OSP and jump around in my room because YEAAAHHHH HYSTORY MYTHOS AND TROPES YEAHHHHH#And greek mythology is where the interest began so why am I only NOW getting onto the Hades train only god knows. Maybe multiple. They got#a whole pantheon so idk maybe multiple ON THE OTHER HAND they didn’t know about their own relative OR who his mom is so maybe I give them#too much credit#jkjk jk Zeus dont smite me I listen to ‘’Thunder bringer’’ a lot plz#speaking of epic the musical thats what I wanted to draw originality because HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY?#THE ANIMATICSSSS THE ANIMATICCCSSS THE 3D CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. ODYSSEUS CASUALLY GETTING A JETPACK 💀 okay go off king /gen#HE GOTTA BE DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS GOTTA USE ALL HIS TRICKS IN HIS DOMAIN FOR THIS OH YEAH YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH PLAYING- okay I’ll stop#but we need a Hermes saga Im just saying. I love he. He’s such a dawling#…Also not me healing the ivantill trauma with a different silverhair+blackhair duo huh.#They bring me comfort I love my silly goofy god of nothing/blood and his boyfriend THE GRIM REAPER#my art#thanzag#they make me insane but in a good way#oh to be a guy trying to escape his dads house and then die to a butterfly and hopefully see death himself because he’s cute#hades game#hades fanart#hades zagreus#hades thanatos
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asgardian--angels · 4 months ago
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I feel like this is a good time to remind my followers of the full-circleness of it all; the 2001 Queen of the Damned film with rockstar Lestat featured songs composed by Jonathan Davis of Korn, my absolute favorite singer throughout my teenage years (and to this day, lbr). Before getting into IWTV I enjoyed those songs on their own, having no real idea of what they were supposed to be about. Now, we're getting actual rockstar Lestat, and looking back relistening to those nu metal rockstar Lestat songs, knowing that the singer that's been absolutely formative for me is singing from the pov of Lestat (and Akasha), a character that's become such a big part of my life as well.
it's just yet another way everything is connected and the world's smaller than you think.
Anyway if you haven't heard his original compositions for QOTD that he himself sings on the soundtrack, they're really, really good- System, Forsaken, Careless, Redeemer, Slept So Long, Not Meant For Me... give 'em a listen! He's done all of them live many years later too, and there's great recordings of those.
youtube
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(the live version of Careless is truly extraordinary imo...)
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basofy · 9 months ago
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my undying love for the lisa companions
i wanna draw more of them
first pic is bo singing la vida mejor :) no that's not the guy's voice watch the whole thing
second to last one is referencing this best post in the world..
sorry about fox garth wait no i'm not
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MONEY GARTH ATTACK
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hermanunworthy · 1 year ago
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i feel like im onto something here
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mawrjexel · 9 months ago
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I see people say that Damian likes classical music but that gremlin definitely likes R&B, pop and kpop, but he will never admit it, he likes music with strong instrumentals and loves songs with good bridges.
So we all know that Damian is never fully asleep and that he has a lot of nightmares and is always on his guard, sometimes when he can't sleep and is very paranoid he definitely starts listening to music and starts dancing all over his room and goes down. like at 4 am to eat (everyone goes to sleep at 3 am or leaves the manor because if they stay Alfred will force them to go to sleep) while he walks down the normal hallway while singing silently and he goes down the stairs dancing (he's a teenager, let him be)
definitely kiss of life, beyonce, ariana grande, the weekend and chase atlantic are in his 4 am playlist.
On patrol he listens to nmixx, aespa, stray kids and bts (one of his favorite songs is no more dream, fight me)
Cass introduced him in the world of kpop, she definitely knows all of gfriend's choreographies (which are terribly complicated), and she taught them to damian while they were spending charity time together because they are the only members of the "raised by league" club of assassins and later taken in by bruce wayne"
Damian also sings very good but the only ones who know that are Duke (he heard him singing and told him he sang well), Cass because he once snuck into the mansion (there was supposed to be no one there) and heard him, and Alfred because he's alfred
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heir-of-the-chair · 4 months ago
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Guys. Guys please listen to the band Haunted Like Human. Please I need someone to freak out over their music with please!
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sinclairstarz · 1 year ago
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cant stop thinking about stoner byler and also y2k stranger things so this is vaguely meant to be in the early 2000s
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sysig · 1 year ago
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You mentioned you mainly ship Glados/Chell when it comes to Portal? Could I please request something with them, however you personally imagine their dynamic? Sorry for the vague prompt, I'm just curious what your ideas are!
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Day 25 - As if being dead wasn't bad enough
#My art#Requestober#Portal#Chell#GLaDOS#Big girlfriend <3#Big Mean girlfriend <3 <3#Ugh it's been a while since I've drawn her lol I forgot how complex her design is#A lot of this is just visual noise don't look too hard lol#I do love her tho! I just happen to love her mind - her personality - the most ♥#For a change of pace I listened to her lines in the background rather than music hehe ♪#I forgot how funny she is in Portal 1 gosh she's so cool and mean and fdjsalfjdsf I love her I love her#I never know where to cut the line between the Player and Chell - she's designed to be a blank slate so hmm#I mean I see her as being extremely long-suffered - you'd have to be to put up with GLaD hehe <3#Sarcastic and flippant in response to GLaDOS' long monologues haha#But for me personally I could listen to her insult me all day <3 So how much of that carries over to Chell?#Probably a non-zero amount while I'm playing her lol - we see Players nod or shake Chell's head!#That means something!#So just go ahead and insult her it's all in good fun ♪#I do love the idea of GLaDOS needing Chell to be somewhere and all other methods of moving her are inaccessible#Elevator breaks? :3c She can fall a long distance but her jump height isn't quite that good lol#Ride around on her to go from floor to floor! GLaDOS secretly enjoys it and turns that pleasure into more insults lol#''Stop enjoying this only one of us is allowed to be having fun right now. And by one of us I mean neither of us. Be quiet.'' Lol ♫
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lokh · 6 months ago
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Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them
OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....
in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable
in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:
list of artist recommendations
zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns
bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan
stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer
alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani
andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running
cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.
if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go
son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.
ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki
miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare
songs/albums
'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).
'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album
i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good
the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)
not an album and not an artist
coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)
triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant
ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!
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ct-multifandom · 1 year ago
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I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.
It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.
By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.
Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.
#anti intellectualism#media#movies#books#music#critical thinking#my friend who primarily listens to one very popular band once said that people who listen to obscure music are annoying and pretentious#which rubbed me the wrong way because 1 she knows that I listen to obscure music and 2 it’s such a cowardly consumerist take. anyone can#make music and hey a lot of the people who do make GOOD music. and this goes for all *obscure* media#this post was mostly inspired by people talking about Barbie and those anti pick me girls like the pick nobody girls who insist thinking is#for boys and having fun with an empty brain is for girls. Greta gerwig is an artist. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I know it has a deeper#message than haha cute pink! I’ve seen the summaries about the true meaning. the pinkness and popularity doesn’t negate the narritive.#though in the notes I saw a lot of tumblristas comunistas shitting on the film for being one big ad that people *fell for* which tbh is#tbh almost as anti-intellectual. don’t get me wrong they milked this film to sell hella shit but I don’t believe kids who play with dolls#are the target audience as these people claim. Barbie is a culturally iconic symbol almost archetypical of societal expectations for women#you say barbie people think unblinking perfect plastic pink girly. reminds me of the poem The Last Mojave Indian Barbie. yeah yeah you all#hate brands but this one carries undeniable significance and makes for a powerful literary device. it’s been used many times before#sorry for writing a tag essay about a film I haven’t even seen but I’m tired of internet people focusing so much on proving others wrong#that they end up oversimplifying everything just as much as the other person. god I saw people doing this to Nimona saying transphobes were#looking too deep into her character and they’re reactionary clowns for making that jump. like for once the transphobes are right. she is#trans. it’s a queer story. and irl the first people who notice queerness are the bigots who can tell you’re different. sick owns telling#them the story’s not that deep is harmful and it’s like they’re ignoring the real message on purpose. okay enough rambling hehe! thanks#barbie#nimona
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fakeoutbf · 6 months ago
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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