#I like them but I’m too afraid of what people will think :/
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prophecy | fiyero x reader
summary; just a seer, prince, secrets, love, & destiny.
author’s note; I totally knew I had to write something new after reading a whole ass fanfic about star-crossed lovers. fiyero lovers should I do a whole ass fiyero x reader fanfic? But what kind of plot? I also wanna do The Wizard x reader but would any read it? Jeff Goldblum is just ughh…iykyk…Btw everyone, REQUESTS ARE OPEN! REQUEST ALL YOU CAN PEOPLE!
Blonde hair and green eyes—a striking yet curious combination. That was who Y/N L/N was, a late enrollee at Shiz University. She stepped off the small boat onto the school’s grounds, her movements cautious yet purposeful. Her gaze darted around the sprawling campus, seeking a sign of faculty or staff to guide her. She clutched the strap of her bag tightly, keeping her head low, trying not to attract attention.
And yet, attention found her.
“I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure where to go, Mr...?” she asked, her voice soft but steady.
“Fiyero,” he said with an easy smile. “Just call me Fiyero.”
There was something about him that struck her. Maybe it was the carefree confidence he exuded, or the way his grin seemed to challenge the very notion of seriousness. But Y/N simply nodded, her expression neutral.
“Oh, okay. Have a nice day, Fiyero.” She turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, intrigued and slightly off-balance. He wasn’t used to being dismissed so quickly—and certainly not by someone as mysterious as her.
Fiyero couldn’t shake her from his thoughts. There was something about Y/N that made him curious, something beneath the surface she seemed desperate to hide. He sought her out, always finding excuses to cross her path, but their encounters were less than pleasant.
“Why do you keep showing up?” she snapped one day after he "accidentally" ran into her outside the library.
“Maybe I just like a challenge,” he shot back, his grin turning mischievous. “You’re not exactly the warmest person, you know.”
She glared at him, her green eyes flashing. “Maybe that’s because I don’t want to be bothered.”
“Or maybe you’re just afraid to let anyone in,” he countered, his tone softening for just a moment before he turned and walked away, leaving her stunned and fuming.
The tension between them only grew. Fiyero’s playful teasing grated on her nerves, and her sharp retorts stung more than she intended. But underneath the barbs and glares, there was an unspoken connection neither could deny.
One evening, during a school event, Fiyero caught her alone in the garden.
“Why do you hide yourself away from me? From everyone?” he asked, his voice devoid of its usual teasing edge.
Her eyes, bright and sharp, flickered with something unreadable. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replied softly, turning away. “And I don’t care.”
“You do care,” he said, stepping closer. “You just don’t want to admit it. But I see you, Y/N. You’re not as invisible as you think.”
Her breath caught, but she refused to let him see her falter. “Maybe you should stop looking,” she said, her voice colder than she felt.
But he didn’t stop.
The problem was, Y/N had a secret. A dangerous one. She was a seer, burdened with visions she couldn’t control and truths she often wished she didn’t know. Her gift—or curse, as she saw it—made it impossible to lead a normal life. People who got too close to her either feared her or tried to use her. She’d sworn to herself that Shiz would be different. She would keep her head down, stay invisible.
No attachments.
No risks.
And then there was Fiyero.
One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Y/N’s resolve faltered. Fiyero had found her once again, his presence as insistent as ever.
“I wonder,” she whispered, almost to herself, her voice trembling as her gaze met his.
Her hand reached up, almost of its own accord, brushing against his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed at her touch, the softness of it disarming him completely.
Her heart pounded as she leaned in, her lips brushing his softly. The moment they touched, the world seemed to shift around her. But it wasn’t the warmth of the kiss that consumed her; it was the vision that followed.
Images flooded her mind. She saw them together, standing side by side through trials and triumphs. But the vision turned dark, shadowed by an ominous foretelling. One of them would fall. One of them would die.
She gasped, pulling away as if burned. Her hands trembled, and her breath came in shallow gasps. Fiyero reached for her, his concern evident.
“What’s wrong? What did I do?” he asked, his voice tinged with confusion and worry.
“It’s not you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s me. It’s… us.”
She turned and fled, leaving him standing there, his heart aching with the weight of her words.
Y/N tried to avoid him after that, but Fiyero was persistent. His determination to understand her only grew stronger.
“Why are you running from me?” he demanded one day, cornering her in an empty hallway. “What are you so afraid of?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” he pressed, his eyes searching hers. “Whatever it is, we can face it together.”
She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t get it. If I let you in, if we…” She trailed off, unable to say the words. “I saw it, Fiyero. I saw what happens if we’re together. One of us dies.”
He froze, the weight of her confession sinking in. But instead of stepping back, he took a step closer.
“And if we’re apart? What then?” he asked. “Do we just live half-lives, pretending this doesn’t exist? Pretending we don’t exist?”
She stared at him, her resolve crumbling under the force of his words. “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted, her voice barely audible.
“You don’t have to know,” he said gently, his hands reaching up to cradle her face. “You just have to trust me. Trust us.”
It wasn’t until much later that she let her guard down, piece by fragile piece. The change was slow, marked by stolen moments and quiet confessions. The bickering turned to banter, the walls between them crumbling with each shared glance and unspoken understanding.
“Would you love me if you knew?” she asked him one night, her voice barely above a whisper.
“If I knew what?” he pressed gently, his eyes searching hers.
She hesitated, her heart pounding. “If you knew who I really am. What I can do.”
His answer came without hesitation. “I would love you if the sun burned out and the moon disappeared. I would love you if the stars fell from the sky and the earth itself crumbled beneath our feet. I would give up everything—my title, my name, my future—just to have you by my side.”
His voice cracked with emotion as he reached for her, his thumbs brushing away the tears that streamed down her face. “Just say the word, Y/N. Say you’ll be mine, and I’ll move heaven and earth for you.”
Tears blurred her vision, but she smiled through them, her heart finally yielding to the truth she could no longer deny.
“I love you, Fiyero,” she whispered, her voice steady despite the flood of emotions. “With bonds no one can break, I am yours.”
He pulled her close, their foreheads touching as they breathed each other in. “And I am yours,” he murmured.
Their lips met again, but this time, it was a kiss of certainty, of promises made and futures entwined. Whatever storms lay ahead, they would face them together. For the first time, Y/N let herself believe in something more than fear or duty.
She let herself believe in love.
tags; @tn22220-blog
#fiyero tigelaar x reader#fiyero x reader#the wizard x reader#the wizard#wicked the wizard#wicked fiyero#fiyero tigelaar#wicked movie#wicked#jonathan bailey#jeff goldblum
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Since we still have about nine hours to wait for the update, I wanted to share a few predictions. Some thoughts about why Lanyon might be reminding Hyde of this story from their university years. I think maybe there are two points to it. One: Lanyon wants to convince Hyde to trust him. And two: he wants to make a point related to transformation. Specifically, that of Jekyll to Hyde, and vice versa. I’ll elaborate on both points. First, why would Lanyon need to convince Hyde to trust him? Because Hyde is obviously afraid.
Lanyon got closer, and properly entered the room instead of just standing in the doorway. Hyde, meanwhile, responds with clear panic. His heart is pounding. Note his stutter when he tells Lanyon to stay back. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Hyde stutter like that before, not once. Hyde has no idea what Lanyon’s intentions are with him, you see. But he thinks they can’t be anything good. Remember, Hyde was aware and paying attention for the immediate aftermath of the identity reveal. He saw the ways Lanyon reacted with shock and horror. Hyde expected that. The shock and horror was the point. Hyde revealed their secret to ruin Jekyll’s reputation, to destroy the “pure” and “good” image he had. Hyde heard everything Lanyon said about him, and about Jekyll, and wasn’t surprised by the anger, or disgust, or anything. He knew what was coming when he revealed that Jekyll and Hyde were the same, all along. Hyde knew he was ruining his own life to spite Jekyll. He didn’t care.
A public vivisection of Jekyll, yes. But also of Hyde.
In a sense, Hyde revealed the truth to show everyone: surprise! It was I, the evil Mr. Hyde, who was the monster in Jekyll’s story all along! And the thing about that is…it’s really not safe to stick around after you reveal yourself to be the “monster” of the story. People might attack you now that they can see you for what you really are, you know? But Hyde is trapped. Don’t forget about the police and angry mob right outside the door. Monsters are to be feared and hated. Hyde knows that’s how it usually goes. The pitchforks must be coming for him. Right? (Hyde here would be ignoring the fact the Society isn’t filled with people who follow convention. Rather the opposite. And it’s not like any of them turned away someone like Frankenstein’s Creature. On the contrary, the Society welcomed him! But internalized self-hatred has a funny way of making you believe there must be something uniquely bad about you. Even when the evidence suggests differently. So it is with Hyde’s self perception.) Now, Hyde, too, must suffer the consequences of the secret being out. And he must suffer them alone, since Jekyll decided to abandon himself and his own life. What the hell is Hyde supposed to do now? Be scared, of course. And so we come back to the present page. Hyde, afraid of Lanyon, because Lanyon is a Gentleman, and Hyde is a Monster, and there is no way Lanyon means well towards a Monster. Right? And so Hyde tries to remind him that Hyde is, supposedly, a monster: “you have no idea what I’m capable of!” Hyde’s telling him that he will bite, so back off. Only, it’s not intimidating in the slightest. His front of toughness is paper thin. And Lanyon sees this. He sees the fear in Hyde’s face. He hears the stutter in his voice. It’s painfully obvious how scared Hyde must be. How does Lanyon respond, after Hyde tries to intimidate him into staying away? He pauses. Note the ellipsis. Lanyon took a moment to consider his angle.
And he found his angle. Recognition. The gentle acknowledgment of familiarity. Lanyon realized, with Frankie’s help, that Hyde is a part of Jekyll. More than that, he’s always been a part of him. Making the related connection that Jekyll and Hyde share their memories would be easy, thus addressing Hyde as “you” when telling this story. After all, their memories being shared would perfectly explain why Hyde, a person Lanyon had seemingly never met before, acted like a scorned ex the first time they spoke.
The sudden, righteous anger was a shock to Lanyon. Why, oh why, did Hyde keep acting like he knew Lanyon? Why did he have a personal grudge against him? I’m sure Lanyon must have wracked his brain to try and figure it out. Try to remember if he had known Hyde, back in university. But no, he would’ve remembered him. It just didn’t add up…until now. Because you know who else acted like a scorned ex, only one night before the present day of the comic?
That’s right. Our dear Henry Jekyll. These two panels, their dialogue, have the exact same source: a feeling of being unloved, and uncared for. The resentment of heartbreak. The difference between now and then is that Lanyon finally has the context to know why Hyde held those feelings, back then. Because Hyde sees Jekyll’s memories as fully his own. Jekyll’s history is Hyde’s history. They are, and always have been, fundamentally the same person. What’s changed now, I believe, is that Lanyon has finally realized this. He’s realized Jekyll and Hyde share memories, and the implications thereof. And that’s why he’s correctly addressing Hyde as “you” when telling a story about their university days. To circle back, I think Lanyon has a point in telling this particular story to Hyde. His angle is to build a bridge. To build trust. To let Hyde know what Lanyon has realized. He’s showing Hyde that he finally recognizes him. That he understands Hyde is not a monster, or a stranger, or a demonic curse on Jekyll’s soul. None of that. He’s a part of the man he loves. And that means Lanyon is not going to hurt him. On the contrary. He’s here to help. But why this particular story? Because of this:
Jekyll is correct, Metamorphoses is indeed the source of Lanyon’s Latin quote. It’s a narrative poem, with a unifying theme of transformations. I think it’s telling that Jekyll immediately recognizes it. Him and Lanyon are both familiar with the poem. And so, naturally, they’ll talk about that a bit on the next page. Maybe Lanyon will have more quotes to share. Maybe Jekyll will have his own quotes that mean something to him. And if he does, I imagine they’d be relevant now. Transformation is an experience that Henry Jekyll has become intimately familiar with, ever since the first night that Jekyll became Hyde. And that, I believe, is why Lanyon is telling this story. Transformation is the connection. Metamorphosis. I don’t know the exact point Lanyon wants to make, but if I had to guess, it would be something like this: ‘I see that you have changed. You have transformed. But I still recognize you.’ Meaning, he both acknowledges that Hyde’s form, and outward personality, are obviously different from Jekyll. And yet, he is the same person. He is still Henry. Just a different facet of him. A side of the man that’s usually hidden from the world. But just because people don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Hyde, the parts that make him, have always been there, even before Jekyll separated Hyde from himself with the formula. Those parts just didn’t have their own discrete personality and consciousness to go with them, before. Before I end it here, I also want to share an alternative: that the Latin quote Lanyon has already shared here is the most relevant part, and all that other stuff I just said, about transformation, is not the point of him telling this story. If that might be the case, let’s take a look at a translation I found of the quote: "But a strange power draws me to him against my will. Love urges one thing: reason another." (“Cupido” here is translated to “love” but it can also be translated to “desire,” which might be more common in the few translations I’ve found.) It’s about internal conflict, that of either following your desires OR logic and common sense. Hm! Highly relevant to the conflict between Jekyll and Hyde. Hyde is all about discarding reason and following his desires. Jekyll, meanwhile, has other concerns. His reputation, mainly. Sometimes, we must sacrifice our desires to maintain our place in society, which is important to our survival. But what happens if we choose to sacrifice our deepest desires, constantly, for years? Never giving ourselves a break? Well…you get Henry Jekyll, a man so repressed that he’d rather separate himself from his desires completely than change the way he lives his life. So maybe that’s the point of Lanyon telling this story. He might recognize that Hyde is the embodiment of those repressed desires, and that’s what he’s leading up to. I could see it going either way, with him making a point about transformation or desire. Or hell, maybe both! It’s not like Lanyon can’t be making multiple points with this story. And that’s where I must end this. Also, I was a bit sleep deprived when I wrote this. So if any of what I said doesn’t make sense, or doesn’t quite connect, you are free to both point that out to me (I welcome all feedback!) and to blame it on that sleeplessness. Either way, thank you to those who read all my rambles to the finish! You are all wonderful folks, as far as I’m concerned. Seriously, thank you for reading. <333333333333
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🫣🫣 i always say cas (and sam too) would strongly dislike a lot of the casgirl (and samgirl) opinions, especially regarding dean. but i’m thinking now that jack would also hate to see jackgirls dismissing his autonomy and absolving him of accountability and insisting he should just hate dean completely. when, canonically, jack has never wanted any of that.
💯 Jack doesn't hate Dean at all. He idolizes him (and I think Dean knows this and I think he's thinking, "Don't" because he doesn't see himself as a role model, but that's one of those things you don't get to decide). Jack understands Dean and only three days after he's born, is trying to emulate Dean's mannerisms, which is especially interesting given how angry and riddled with grief Dean clearly is. You'd think that'd be a turnoff for Jack, but it's not. Some people think Jack was afraid of Dean, but I don't. I think Jack was able to sense that Dean was a good man going through a hard time. He gravitated more toward Dean even though Sam was being "nicer" because he sensed that Sam was being insincere about his motives in the first few episodes and Dean wasn't. Dean was also showing and feeling his grief. Jack was grieving his own mother (just like Dean was) and Cas (just like Dean was) while Sam was trying to emotionally detach. Sam explains to Jack how hunter funerals work while they burn Kelly and Cas's bodies, but Dean is standing there feeling—hollowed out and lost. Jack knows better than to mirror Dean's grief 1:1, but his example shows Jack that feeling it is acceptable, and that Dean cares about Jack's dad (Cas) and the loss of his own mother, whereas Sam is doing his best to numb himself and ends up not being relatable to Jack because of that.
Jack overhears Sam and Dean's shouting match over Sam minimizing Cas's death/pretending it didn't happen so he can invalidate Dean's grief and I think things make a lot of sense to Jack then. Jack doesn't remember what happened before he was born— when he (or something pretending to be him) was communicating with Cas and Kelly. He's able to piece together a lot from Sam and Dean's fight about why Dean can't trust him and gets an even bigger picture over how much people mean to Dean. Jack models his mannerisms after Dean because Dean so visibly cares and feels, and Jack identifies with caring about people deeply and feeling so much that it hurts because Jack is also like that!
And I think you're absolutely right. Jack hates having his accountability denied. Even if it's not fair to him, Jack's dangerously explosive power is a reality, and he is ultimately the one who has to deal with it! And I think Jack also (even if it comes out in a largely unhelpful way) appreciates that Dean is more likely to take that seriously and even puts part of the responsibility of Jack's volatility on himself. There's a fight about Jack's volatile powers and his culpability in handling them very early on, after the Dodge City case, when Jack trying to flex his power proudly to Cas ends in a man being dead. Jack is already upset in the car ride home with Sam and Cas, but starts talking again when Dean comes back and reveals that he covered up Jack killing someone, and Sam says, "good".
SAM: How'd it go? DEAN: Usual. Killed the bad guy, saved the girl. SAM: What about the, uh… DEAN: Took care of it. SAM: Good. JACK: Good? How is that good? I killed someone. What was his name? The guard? Did he have a family?
Jack cares so much, and Sam says covering it up is "good", and Cas tries to tell him to ignore it—to put what he did out of his mind, but Jack isn't having it:
CASTIEL: Jack, don't do this to yourself. JACK: No, did he?
Dean is the only one who answers him instead of encouraging him to just not care.
DEAN: Yes, he did.
Dean knows denying that the entire thing happened or that the loss of that man's life and that it likely had broader impacts on his family won't make Jack feel better. Jack needs to be allowed to wrestle with the actual weight of his mistake and can't just compartmentalize it. Dean knows this, because Dean is exactly the same way. THEY GET EACH OTHER.
I think it's appropriate that this is where Dean tells Jack he was wrong about him and that Jack isn't a monster. But that isn't the only thing Jack needs to hear from someone (he's hearing a lot of that, actually!). The thing is for all Sam, Dean, and Cas might give reassurances in this episode that Jack's intentions were never to harm anyone and he isn't a monster, Jack knows that ultimately, lack of control of his powers still presents a danger that ultimately starts and ends with him. While that may present him with a burden that is unfair to him (because other people don't have to deal with what he's dealing with in that sense), it is nonetheless a burden he is forced by reality to bear, and denying the weight of that reality and how it weighs him down doesn't leave him feeling supported. It leaves him feeling unheard and alone. He doesn't want to be treated like a child with no culpability. He wants someone to take the dangers of what he can do seriously.
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H50 Fic Recs - Codas to 10x07
Priorities by Indehed Rating: T, Words: 3,513 "It means a lot to me that you follow. That you come on missions or you make sure to be here at the end." “You’d do the same for me. Though I’m usually better at not getting myself into these kinds of situations, I still know you’ll be there for me, too. We’re family.”
Gulf by @sealie-seolh There’s a throbbing bruise, following the beat of his heart, on Steve’s eyebrow. A cut on the bone that’s going to scar.
New Terms by delighted Rating: M, Words: 9,747 Grief is making Steve heavy. Not less substantial as it sometimes does to people, but more so. So much so that it feels to Danny like gravity itself has been altered. It’s not helping the feeling that he could get lost in this. But Danny’s so afraid of Steve getting lost... and he’s afraid of what that might mean for them both.
What kind of fool by @five-wow Rating: T, Words: 1,815 When Steve gets out of the bathroom, there is only a pile of clothes left over on the chair Danny was previously sitting in. He pauses, heart a heavy weight in his chest. “What are you doing?” On the far end of the bed, the one nearest the window, Danny rolls over to face Steve. “Told you. I’m not sleeping on the couch.” Or: Steve is hurting, Danny is immutably present, and philosophy can wait until later.
Hold The Line by @thekristen999 Rating: T, Words: 2,508 Junior and Danny share different bonds with Steve, feel different types of love. Both do their part when everything goes to hell. Coda 10.07.
On Our Terms by Banshi13 Rating: T, Words: 14,897 "It'll be okay, Steve, I promise," Danny pressed a kiss against Steve's hair, feeling tears seep into his shirt. "It'll be okay. On our terms, I promise. It'll be okay."
(Lifes) Terms & Conditions by @ssthongmagnet Rating: T, Words: 1,367 Steve screwed his face up, and no matter how hard he tried that voice would not stop repeating those words. He kept thinking of that dream, laying in bed while Doris read Moby Dick to him, and he wished more than anything that he could hear her voice once more. Or: Danny turns up to put a broken Steve back together.
Rachel, Weeping for her Children by MDJensen Rating: T, Words: 1,035 In which Danny sleeps on the couch, but Steve does too. Post 10x07.
In time I know I can always say (I’m alright, I’m okay) by @five-wow Rating: G, Words: 1,658 “Define okay for me,” Steve says, broken open and hurting, and Danny thinks, sure, okay. He can do that. Or: The road home is easier to walk if there’s somebody to nudge you in the right direction.
Where lies the final harbor? by @missslothy Rating: M, Words: 48,643 Steve and Danny had finally admitted their feelings for each other just three days before the events of Season 10 Episode 7. Can their new relationship survive the fallout from what happened in Mexico and Doris's death?
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declan o'hara headcannons
what i think it would be like to date everyone’s favorite dilf nsfw under the cut!
declan may come across as temperamental and a bit of an asshole but when it comes to you, he is nothing but a lovesick fool
he’s so giddy around you, all smiley and dopey in your presence. he would be embarrassed if it wasn’t for the complete and utter addiction to you that took over ever fiber of his being
declan likes to keep your relationship pretty private but will show you off to the people closest to him, always having you over for dinner with his daughters. you get along with them so well caitlin even threatens to kick him out so the three of you can have a girls night
he was so sweet to you, so gentle and affectionate
the king of placing tender kisses on your temple or the top of your head
he wants to do everything for you, every little task and chore
he never lets you lift a finger, always knowing your next step before you take it and doing everything in his power to take care of you
his love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch
declan adores the way you care for him, always giving him compliments and reassurance
at first he didn’t know how to feel, no one had ever really appreciated him so outwardly before. but as time went on, he found himself looking for your praises and basking in the feeling of being admired
declan was a touch starved man (before he met you that is) and oh boy did he live for your touch
he wouldn't be a huge fan of pda due to the private nature of your relationship, but sometimes he couldn't help himself
he loved holding your hand, your fingers so delicately intertwined with the roughness of his. a seemingly simple connection, but he could always feel the love radiating from the warmth of your palm. not to mention he enjoyed being able to draw you closer with a single tug of your hand.
while public displays of affection weren’t his thing, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you behind closed doors.
this man is a filthy kinky bastard, you cannot convince me otherwise
he’s obsessed with the way your body feels in his hands; roaming, gripping, grabbing, and holding you at all times
he wouldn’t be afraid to manhandle you a little– holding your hair back in his fist while you’re on your knees for him, yanking it and guiding you exactly where he wants you
he would be absolutely feral at the sight of you on your knees below him. not used to having someone pay attention to him in that way, declan would nearly whimper every time you took him between your soft pink lips
declan is a certified munch!!
spreading your legs and making a mess between them was his favorite pastime
that man would eat you for breakfast lunch and dinner if he could
he 1000% gets off on your pleasure
and he reallyyy gets off on watching you get all needy for him– he’ll all but beg you to grind on his thigh just to feel how wet and desperate you are for him
will literally dirty talk you into the ground with that thick irish accent
“my good girl” and “my sweet girl” are used very often
has definitely called you a brat in the bedroom and will definitely do it again
he has a super intimate side too
he’s very big on eye contact, wanting to share more than just a physical connection with you, he wants your time together to be passionate and deep– meaningful
he loves to feel your bare body against his. no matter the position, he’s always pulling you further into him with a need to feel your bodies melt together
he’s such a softie, he loves a good cuddle
he’ll fall asleep in .5 seconds though
i’m talking as soon as his head hits the pillow it’s lights out
but not before he can draw you into his broad chest, using the comfort of your presence to lull him into a deep slumber
my masterlist
#declan o'hara#declan o'hara x reader#rivals fanfiction#declan o’hara smut#rivals#rivals x reader#aidan turner#rupert campbell black#declan o’hara headcannons#rival headcannons#smut headcanons#dilf x reader
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Ateez: dating or single
Reading for @kiwilover17 , 05/01/2025
Hongjoong: 10 of swords and the hermit, definitely not dating and i risk to say that he won’t get involved with anyone for a while. Betrayed energy here tbh, with some self reflection, so i think he might had a recent or a hurtful breakup and doesn’t intend date anyone for a while
Seonghwa: Five of cups, 10 of wands and the devil. Definitely not and he’s also very hurt. I posted readings before about his struggles in his love life and it seems that he never learns and keeps going to toxic people that hurts him. But i won’t defend him that much cause he knows (by what i see here) that he doesn’t have the best choices but still go for it, so yeah, he just prefers to pretend he’s blind than face his fears. It gives“scared to be lonely”. But right now, not dating.
Yunho: The emperor, 3 of swords and 6 of wands. I’m getting worried about them??? What is going on with this amount of breakups? I thought sza said “it’s cuffing season” and not “it’s singles season” but holy shit? Well but here i don’t see yunho getting his heart broken, but him breaking hearts instead. I don’t think was a serious relationship, just a fling, but i do think the person wanted something more, but yunho don’t. The thing is that i think he didn’t wanted to hurt this person, but it happened. He feels bad for them and liked them, but not enough to stay.
Yeosang: Finally! Well, i may say that for me, Yeosang was the member in a really long relationship, i’d say 2-3 years. But, as i said, he was. Not anymore. But good news: 6 of swords, the lovers, 3 of cups and page of cups! He is going to find someone soon and i think that possibly can be his FS, and Jesus the energy here is really beautiful. I for real felt my heart warm and im getting goosebumps like crazy, and i can see Yeosang really in love. I’m not even kidding that i have tears in my eyes, im so happy for him, he will be so happy with this person!🥺🥺
San: king of pentacles, king of swords, 2 of swords and 6 of pentacles. I think he’s also single, seems more focused on his career, finances and material aspects right now. It seems like he had a chance, but chose his career for now.
Mingi: 4 of swords and 3 of wands. Be fucking for real ateez, are you afraid of dating? Mingi is in his chill phase, enjoying his life but no love for now
Wooyoung: 7 of wands reversed, king of wands, knight of swords and 9 of wands. This combination means a “no” or a very complicated “maybe”, but i feel more the “no”. He might was involved in something casual, but i see it got too complicated or too full of drama that was tiring for him. The 9 of wands really gives me the “im tired” energy, and even some relief of being free of the situation
Jongho: the fool, queen of pentacles and the devil. Not dating, but definitely not alone. Jjong is feeling adventurous and enjoying the opportunities that come from him, mostly of them just flings and ONS. Some of this flings could be something more but is like the two of them are analyzing if they want commit or not.
Be fucking serious, the maknae is the only who isn’t bitcheless? You gotta be kidding me, but okay. That’s the reading. I thought i’d see them already married but gosh, their love life is worse than mine. Good luck for teezers 👍🏻
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012 🌸🤍Never Change
Tags: Nanami x fem!reader, angst, tw: bullying, yuuji Itadori ooc??
Synopsis: A note from the past rekindles memories of quiet kindness and unspoken feelings.
An: This is a short fanfic that means a lot to me. I went through bullying in high school—people called me ugly and laughed at me for it. It left me deeply scarred, and even now, I can’t look at myself in a mirror when I’m out at a party or anywhere that isn’t home.
The idea for this story came from a joke I made to a friend. I told them that if my fiancé had met me in high school, he probably would’ve bullied me too (he’s always been one of those popular, well-loved guys). My friend surprised me by saying, “I don’t think so. He would’ve fallen deeply in love with you and protected you.”
And, well, here we are! Of course, I had to throw in some angst because I know you all love that. This is my longest author’s note yet, but I really wanted to share this with you. Thank you! 💕
🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁🅻🅸🆂🆃
Elementary school was a battlefield for you. You loved anime unapologetically, your heart worn on your sleeve, but that only made you an easy target. Whether it was pulling out a manga during library hours or raising your hand in class to ask the questions others were too afraid—or too bored—to ask, you always seemed to draw unwanted attention. And with that attention came the snickers, the muttered insults, the cruelty.
Except for him.
Kento Nanami wasn’t the type to stand out. He wasn’t loud, nor was he the kind of person to rush to someone’s defense with bold words or dramatic gestures. He was quiet, observant, and more often than not, detached. But you’d catch his gaze sometimes—a brief flicker of acknowledgment, a moment of stillness in the sea of chaos.
At first, you thought he didn’t care. He never said anything when others taunted you, never stepped in to tell them to stop. But then there were the little things. The way he’d linger just long enough to block someone from snatching a manga out of your hands. The way he’d redirect the attention of the class with a clever remark when your questions were met with ridicule. The way he’d sit across from you in the library, his quiet presence a subtle barrier against anyone who dared to interrupt your peace.
It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
You didn’t spend time together outside of school. You were classmates, occasional companions in a sea of indifference. Yet, in those fleeting moments, his quiet kindness felt like a lifeline.
What you didn’t know was that Nanami was watching. Not just you, but the people around you. The way they treated you, the way they laughed at things they didn’t understand, the way they mocked someone who only wanted to be herself. It wasn’t just unfair—it was senseless. And little by little, his view of humanity began to sour.
"They’re awful," he thought. "They’re all awful."
But you weren’t.
You, with your boundless curiosity and your unapologetic love for what you loved. You, who didn’t hurt anyone but bore the brunt of everyone’s disdain. You weren’t awful.
And maybe that’s why he stayed close in his own way, orbiting your world like a distant but steadfast star.
But then, one day, he was gone. When high school began, Nanami didn’t come back. He disappeared as quietly as he’d stayed, leaving no trace behind. You moved on—or at least, you thought you did.
⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆
It was a quiet afternoon when it happened. You were reorganizing your shelves, pulling out old books you hadn’t touched in years. That’s when an old English dictionary slipped from your hands and hit the floor. As you bent down to pick it up, a folded piece of paper fluttered out.
You unfolded it, and the words, written in neat, careful handwriting, made your breath catch.
"Please, never change. Thank you for everything, and always follow your dreams."
Your heart stopped.
Nanami.
The memory of him surged back into your mind like a tidal wave, sweeping away the years of distance and burying you in moments you thought you’d forgotten: the way he’d glance at you with quiet understanding, the soft curve of his rare smiles, the steady, unshakable presence he carried wherever he went.
And now, this.
Tears blurred your vision as you read and reread the note. Had he really written this for you? How had you never noticed before? How had you never realized what he meant to you?
That’s when it hit you.
You had loved him.
Maybe not in the childish way people talk about first crushes, but deeply, profoundly. You had loved the boy who sat quietly in the library, who didn’t laugh when others did, who saw you when no one else cared to look.
And now, this note. His words—thank you for everything—felt like they came from another world, another time. You hadn’t done anything for him. If anything, you owed him.
Suddenly, the idea of finding him consumed you. You had to see him again. To tell him what he meant to you. To thank him. And maybe—just maybe—to find out if he still carried any piece of those quiet, shared moments in his heart.
It wasn’t easy. You scoured social media, old directories, anything that could give you a clue. Weeks passed, and just when you were about to give up, you found it.
A photo.
It was a photo of two people: a blond man with a serious expression standing beside a younger man with pink hair, smiling brightly. The caption read: "Nanamin."
You stared at the photo, your chest tightening. It had been so many years. Could this really be him?
With trembling hands, you messaged the owner of the account, explaining your connection and asking for help. It was a risk—you knew you sounded desperate—but you didn’t care. You needed to know.
To your surprise, the reply came quickly.
"I can meet you at the station tomorrow. I’ll explain everything then."
When you saw Yuji Itadori, the young man from the photo, his face was kind but somber. He introduced himself and hesitated, as if searching for the right words.
"I know why you’re looking for Nanami-san," he said gently. "But I don’t think I can give you the answer you’re hoping for."
Your stomach churned.
"Why not?" you asked, though part of you already knew the answer.
He looked at you, his expression heavy with grief.
"Nanami Kento is dead."
#jjk#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami#kento nanami#jjk fanfic#kento nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento angst#nanami angst#kento nanami angst#jjk angst#angst jjk#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami kento jjk#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami headcanons#headcanons nanami#nanami x y/n#jjk kento nanami#kento nanami x you#kento x reader#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento x you#nanami jjk
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Keeping it quiet 'til I hit back — California
The Woman Who Left Too Soon; Lara Raj, the lead singer and coveted music producer for Katseye, has never felt the need for useless romance. Don't get her wrong— she loves a good chummy romance, but it was never really for her. That could partly be blamed on her past lover, who abruptly left her just to become some indie artist, but then again, the tides change, and so do the people. And what the— she's famous now, she's unstoppable, she can pull anyone, so why the hell is the woman who left her in the dust, pretending to be all buddy-buddy with her.
PROFILES∿ nightmare blunt rotation > KATSEYE
#masterlist, #payroll advocates
LARA RAJ ❀ lararajj & larahatesbabies
“Said I had the prettiest eyes, you’ve ever seen.” Lara has always known who she was since birth, a beautiful singer, and an even more beautiful person, despite her intimidating exterior, she’s such a kind soul. She’s the sweetest person to everyone, although has trouble being in relationships due to her previous rocky one with another musician. Y/n L/n left her high and dry without a word, though, she avoids talking about it completely and tries her best not to contact her due to her issues. Although one thing can be noted, she has never told anyone the name or who her evil ex actually was, just the terrible stories that came with it.
MERET MANON ❀ meretmanon & bluntmanz
“She’s a catch, but so am I.” The only girl who doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut, constantly getting in trouble for slipping updates and upcoming projects the girls are doing. Manon is very genuine though, she hates liars, absolutely adores her members, and will always defend them. Despite that she doesnt know about Y/n, and only knows of an evil girl Lara used to date. She thinks y/n would be perfect for a blunt rotation though. She met Lara during Dream Academy and connected through the fact that both girls had been chosen and hadn’t auditioned like the rest. The both of them are so close, in fact, they even go to family parties together with Megan and Lara’s sister.
SOPHIA LAFORTEZA ❀ sophialaforteza & sophiathefirst
“Guess sometimes you learn to forget.” The mother of the group. As someone who Lara confides with the most for relationship advice, Sophia knows all about you, in a strange way, always finding another reason to dislike you every day. Despite that, she remains civil and enjoys your music (mainly because she doesn’t know it’s you). Her heart is in the right place, Sophia and Lara had a shared love for musical arts, and often went to musicals and plays together, even having their little group filled with other theater geeks.
DANIELA AVANZINI ❀ danielaavanzini & opiummdani
“You had to make it obvious.” Lara’s biggest opp I’m afraid, it’s all in lighthearted fun, but y/n was unironically one of her celebrity crushes so she’d sometimes go on and on, not knowing the true extent of her behavior. She means nothing bad by it, but on multiple occasions, Lara has blocked her, even during events the redhead is side-eyeing Daniela whenever she brings you up. Even then, Daniela and Lara had an inseparable bond, through their love for dance and Playboi Carti, the both of them make a lethal duo. Daniela would often barge into Lara’s room begging to go to Erewhon together or to do another dance trend for the Eyekons.
MEGAN MEIYOK SKIENDIEL ❀ meganskiendel & mamanmegan
“I wanted to see the world in color, through your eyes.” Lara’s roommate and number one victim of her constant yapping and ranting knows Lara like an open book and is undoubtedly the closest one to her. This leads her to being the only person, other than Lara’s sister, who knows who you truly are. Despite the fact, that she adores Y/n more as a musician than a person, teasing Lara at the fact Megan owns Y/n’s poster and hangs it on the walls of their shared bedroom. She is quite literally Lara’s little sister she never had, she invites Lara to family events and vice versa. She never goes anywhere without Lara, often begging her to come with her to do minuscule tasks, like getting a lighter for the deli a jogging away, she has to bring Lara with her.
YOONCHAE JEUNG ❀ y0pn_cha3 & yooninurwalls
“And the walls painted white, they tell me all their secrets.” Even though everyone knows about her sassy attitude, Yoonchae is regarded to be one of the innocent members. Although no one knows she’s friends with Y/n and her little crew, since she’s often kept to herself, and no one asks about it. Despite being in both groups, she has no clue that you and Lara where ever in a situation together, and completely blocks out all her member’s love lives. She is Lara’s baby, her child, her toddler, even when Yoonchae’s tired and sleepy, Lara would always lend her a shoulder to sleep on. And when Lara’s tired, she still tries her best to entertain Yoonchae despite how exhausted she is.
#ruru yaps#idol x female reader#idol x reader#female reader#gxg#girl group imagines#katseye#katseye fic#lara raj x katseye#lara raj katseye#katseye lara raj#katseye x female reader#katsye fic#katseye smau#smau#katseye x reader#Lara Raj#lara raj x female reader#lara raj x reader#lara katseye
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Over and Over Again
Hello people. I’ve literally never posted on tumblr before, but I really really wanted to because I had this Spencer Reid idea. This sucks, and if you have any critic or advice for me, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I hope you like it. There’s no warnings, besides a storm, maybe? Again, never posted before, yes, the banner is huge. I know. I do not know how to fix these things. I’m yapping.
ANYWAYS: this blurb was written based off of the song Would You Fall in Love with Me Again from EPIC (dog, listen to it, it’s the best musical ever). Loosely based, really. I hope you love it.
“I’ve changed,” he insisted. He persistently insisted, pacing his living room floor, expertly dodging books left face-open on the floor , words subject to dim lighting above them, watching like a crowded theater as he stood before her, laying himself bare. He wasn’t a man anymore— couldn’t she see that? He was a monster.
She watched him with wrinkled brows, mentally undoing the puzzle she’d spent all of her time knowing him trying to solve. She couldn’t understand it. Why did he think he had any right to tell her this? She knew he changed, it was obvious, it was natural, considering what happened. Yet, he spoke of his shift in demeanor as if it wasn’t obvious, as if she wasn’t aware of the yellow warning signs flashing by her as she drove down the road, speedometer reaching unsafe levels, but she couldn’t stop. She didn’t want to.
Stepping forward, toes catching against the corners of his precious literature now tossed aside in the face of his internal storm, she caught him by his wrists, stopping him. “Spencer—“
The words burst from his mouth, drowning her out. “I’m not the man you fell in love with. What I did in there?”
Despite his insistence, his hands slid down, entwining their fingers together and holding tightly, too afraid to let go, too desperate to cling to a lifeline suddenly cast toward him, a precious lifeboat of brilliant orange in a raging sea, waves of resistance keeping him at bay.
“What I did in there… it’s not… you have to understand. I did what I had to do—“
“Then that makes you more man than monster— that makes you human. You lived— the human instinct is to live— stop trying to… to dissuade me! Spencer, I—“
“Please—“
The desperation sat heavily in his eyes, glimpses of a lake hidden deep within a dark forest, a glimpse of heavenly seas of emerald spoke of in Revelations. They flickered, flashing between adoration and aggravation, desperation and deprivation. Duty and desire warred inside his mind, a voice near the back of his mind reminding him of his sins, of his transgressions. She didn’t need that. She needed clean cut and safety. How could she find wealth of any kind with him?
Electricity crackled between them, rolling like the breaching thunder outside of his apartment.
He didn’t believe in fate. He didn’t believe in destiny or signs, but this? This seemed to perfectly concocted. If there was a God, He was making his opinion known of the situation inside of Spencer’s apartment, expressing his vehement hatred of the private world they’d come to build together. He would tear it down if Spencer didn’t first.
Her eyes flashed to the window, and snapped back to him, mirroring his desperation; destruction; adoration; anger. She held his hands tighter, nails digging into the flesh of his knuckles. The singe of pain was needed, it tied him to her, fed his selfish desires to have her, to keep her inside of him, tucked securely into the empty cavity of his chest.
Her voice was a rasp as she seemed to beg, all but falling to her knees to clutch to his pant leg and sob like a child. “‘*Please*’. You keep saying ‘please’. Stop saying that!” She exclaimed, holding his hands tighter. Her body felt rigid, tense with all of the emotions tightly wound inside of her, aching to be let free in a cacophony of rage, explosion of lust, a torrent of emotions. “Spencer, I love you! I will fall in love with you over and over again, and I don’t care what you did. I don’t care who you hurt— do you think I haven’t hurt people, too?”
“Not like I have,” he attempted to intervene, and she quickly shushed him.
“What you have done in moments of desperation doesn’t matter to me!… Okay, it does. It matters to me because I… you’re here with me. You’re with me, holding my hands, telling me not to love you— but you told me I was the only thing keeping you sane. My letters were your anchor. Was that not true?”
His silence was answer enough. The thin press of his rose lips told her everything she needed to know. With a grating strength, she released his wrist, and drew her hand to his face. His stubble tickled her palm as she cupped his jaw, watched him lean into her touch like a sunflower towards the sun.
“Stop fighting me,” she whimpered. Her voice had lost it’s strength, but not it’s conviction. “Stop trying to keep me away from you… If I wanted to leave you, if I believed, truly believed you were a monster… I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
He looked so tired. When he smiled it was torn. This wasn’t the same man as before, but it was Spencer. Spencer fucking Reid, and she’d be damned if she didn’t love him just as much; maybe more.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice thick with tears she hadn’t realized began spilling over her cheeks, collecting at her jaw and running down her neck in hot rivulets.
His pupils swelled at the sight.
Her words began to snowball, as did her volume as it rose and rose with every word, her strength returning under the clear dilation of his pupils; a solid tell he was just as affected as her. “And I won’t stop loving you, because you will always be the man I fell in love with. No matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been— damnit, Spencer—!“
His head dipped forward suddenly, lips catching hers in a powerful press of lips that she’d yearned for since he first delivered her a smile that broke through clouds over her head, offered one of his relentless facts of seemingly infinite wisdom that drew her deeper into this… well of adoration she’d fallen headfirst into.
Heat blossomed at the base of her spine, racing up her back to leave her lightheaded as she fell into him, hands falling to loosely clutch his shirt. His arms wound around her waist to capture her weak form, clutching her to him, his fingers curled into her shirt, wrinkling the fabric.
His lips perused hers with a desperate leisure, a slow hunger that threatened to tear him limb from limb. His seams were already loosened, and she was tugging, whether she knew it or not.
Pulling back reluctantly, he breathed heavily against her mouth. Bursts of moist, warm air hit her skin. She felt it curl around her cheeks, sink into her ears, her temporal lobe soaking in the lingering tingle of his lips on hers, leaving her drunk.
“I love you,” he whispered to her, his voice barely audible over the rain slamming against the windows of his living room. He had forgotten about God’s wrath looming outside of his windows.
She laughed softly, her voice still hiccuping around her steadily falling tears. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?”
He smiled, a genuine, full smile of exuberant happiness. “Too long.”
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING IF YOU DID! <3 Even if you didn’t, thanks so much anyways! Remember, you are loved and appreciated by someone. You are loved and appreciated by me, and I hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are.
#spencer reid x reader#post prison reid#fem reader#spencer reid x fem!readr#epic the ithaca saga#first post#Spotify
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Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
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Back at it again with another theory: What if Lucanis’ betrayal wasn’t a betrayal at all?
(obviously, spoilers below the cut)
During The Wigmaker Job, we have some dialogue between Illario and Lucanis about their position within both the Crows and the Dellamorte family. Illario wants Caterina to step down so he can take the coveted First Talon spot. Lucanis reassures him that his time is coming, to which Illario makes a snide comment about whether his cousin would ever go against their grandmother’s wishes. When they continue the conversation after the job, Illario states that Lucanis is the potential heir, that he’s her favorite, and that he’s unlikely to say no to her. Lucanis doesn’t argue, only insists that he doesn’t want to be First Talon, and that he hopes she’ll see reason before that. It’s mentioned again in Eight Little Talons - Caterina favors Lucanis. It’s well-known enough among the Crows that Viago and Teia discuss it in front of her (not on purpose, but she doesn’t deny it). He’s her prodigy through and through.
In the opening scene for the Lucanis quest in Veilguard, Caterina is poised, as you’d expect of the First Talon. She’s certain that the body they buried wasn’t her grandson, that it had been altered with blood magic. She doesn’t pose it as a theory, though: she poses it as a fact. It could, of course, merely be her confidence, but there’s another very unusual aspect to the scene – everyone else discusses how Lucanis was clearly betrayed, that someone must have sold him out in order for the Venatori to capture him. Caterina is the only one in that room who never speaks on it. She doesn’t ask for justice, doesn’t mention vengeance, never acknowledges that her grandson was sold out by someone he trusted – perhaps because he wasn’t.
What if, when Caterina comes to him with a plan, with an impossible request, he’s still her favorite prodigal grandchild, and he still does whatever she asks? She’s had him tortured before as a child, has tortured and starved and beaten him herself before, because it makes him stronger and more resistant to it in the future. He says in The Wigmaker Job that he used to hate her for it, but now he understands. He justifies it. All Crows justify it, because they have to - if they don’t, then the cruelty wasn’t for survival’s sake, and their suffering meant nothing. Perhaps he doesn’t even question it. When Caterina tells him that she has a job for him, he takes it.
What if the contract has a caveat? Sure, Calivan must die by his hand by the end of it, a little treat for a job well done, but what if his primary mission is reconnaissance, is discovery? The Venatori are using blood magic to torture and corrupt prisoners. It would behoove the Crows to find out what it entails and how to resist it, before it’s turned back on them. It would have to be someone so deeply, unabashedly loyal to her that when she asked them to infiltrate a Venatori prison, expecting torture at best, their own death at worst, they’d take the job anyway, no questions asked - someone Caterina can trust, certainly, but also someone who has never once said no to her.
And Lucanis has always been a loyal grandson.
#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#da posting#maybe it’s also just because she thinks it would make him stronger and that’s how she always justifies it to herself because she’s evil!!!!#she’s MICRODOSING her GRANDSON with BLOOD TORTURE and DEMONS to fashion him into A BETTER WEAPON#I keep hearing people be like ‘oh there’s a moment in the lucanis storyline where I GASPED’#and other than like ‘he was dead the entire time’ I’m like…… what would be that shocking#and you know what would be that shocking??#if he put himself through it on purpose#envisioning a line where he’s like ‘when Caterina told me to go I didn’t ask questions because I’m a good crow!!!!!’#(also I think that would REALLY give a good bite to his demon being SPITE of all things)#also also I still think that Illario kills caterina (if she’s actually dead) but y’know what?#if he does GOOD FOR HIM#also lucanis just happening to be bursting out of his cell when you get there…. SUSPECT#was he just ready to break out at any time? if so why did he stay and get tortured for a YEAR?#why were the guards so afraid of him?? what was he capable of???#‘you’re a crow’ or ‘but you’re not a crow’ ohhhh so you were expecting a rescue?#oh I am CONNECTING the DOTS (I haven’t connected shit) I’VE CONNECTED THEM#voelene#your caterina + illario post started these wheels turning and I am eternally grateful#also tho did update this slightly because I forgot about their conversation at the end of TWJ#also got so wrapped up in my hatred of caterina that I failed to consider another emotionally devastating option:#that lucanis was the one who wanted to go and caterina covered for him#now THAT’S got some bite to it too#and maybe Lucanis volunteering to take on a demon is why it doesn’t possess him fully#it’s like a wynne/anders thing it’s symbiotic
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it’s so hard being a datv lover on the internet right now, i can’t make any comments about how much im enjoying the game without some weirdo on reddit being like “yeah but dont you find the dialogue so cringe? doesnt it feel so disney+ to you?” and when i ask what they mean without fail they’re like “well have you seen taash talk about their gender” 😐
#like idk how to explain this#bc obviously ppl can have criticisms of the game 😭 but so curious to me how many ppl are like#only giving one example of ‘cringe’ writing and it’s always ab taash’s gender exploration 😭#i thought their talks were extremely touching as someone who is nonbinary but sure lets let a bunch of cis ppl control the narrative#idk it makes me sad to see how adverse ppl are to having a nb main character#i get it that the whole ‘discovering your identity’ trope isnt everyones favorite but#the way i see it i think it is amazing that theres a character who is vocal ab their identity#too often i see cis ppl have sentiments like#‘you can do what you want in your own home just dont talk to me about it’#so i appreciate that taash is vocal about this. i like that they’re not afraid to talk about their identity#like idk but i can’t remember EVER having a nb main character who is explicitly so#so genuinely seeing someone being vocally represented. it’s nice. idk!#i just hate how much ppl are attacking them bc ‘talking about gender identity is cringe’#like maybe you just think nb people in general are cringe if you recoil at the mere discussion of one’s identity idk#anyways. this was long winded. i’m gonna stay off reddit for a while bc everyone annoys me 😭 ty tumblr for being the only place w#good opinions
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oh survivor!fawn we are really in it now
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#people keep saying they’re sorry for your loss. Your Loss. that is how they refer to your brothers. how they refer to you.#you have always been one of three. part of the pack. and that has always been fine but now you are alone and you are not You but your loss.#julia says sorry for your loss. ricardo says sorry for your loss. you yell that it should be their loss too. it is everyone’s loss.#they have lost your brothers and now they have lost you too. (fate works in funny ways you think)#at the funeral people offer apologies. offer you flowers. offer you baked goods and stories of how [your loss] saved them or their mom or#their dad’s uncle’s wife’s coworker’s daughter’s friend from childhood or someone else equally unimportant. someone alive.#[I’m sorry for your loss] they all say and you do not say thank you. there is no being thankful for [your loss].#[I’m sorry] says ricardo. you stop listening. [I’m sorry] says julia. you wonder if she said it to the man she punched.#you do not apologize back. you do not let it be [their loss]. it is yours. they have always been yours.#[I’m sorry] says chen . for river and cyrus. the first to use their names with you. to acknowledge them as your brothers. to make them more#than just the pieces of you that have been broken. and you thank him.#we like writing in tags sorry !!!! also at some point the original idea was that any parts of ‘I’m sorry for your loss’#would start distorting and then get blacked out to show like. when u hear smth so much and esp w grief that u just block it out#anyway. survivor!fawn but still factoring in that chen is not afraid to just. Say Things.#esp in v3 I think the ortegas would be even more cautious w fawn out of wanting to not upset them and meanwhile chen is like yeah I’m gonna#just straight up acknowledge ur brothers for u bc I can tell that’s what u need#we are also thinking abt v3!au and fawn being heartbreak but. that’s not for this post obvs#verse: you are the survivor; you carry the guilt
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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Okay this is something that has taken me years to come to terms with and I just need to get off my chest especially since im not in therapy anymore and honestly only a few close friends know this but talking about it is still hard and I want to be able to better forgive myself and get rid of some of the internalized shame that plagues me because of this, and like, just be more comfortable admitting this fact to myself so I can better heal from it. And I know it’s also triggering to a lot of people so I never feel like it’s ever appropriate to discuss I should have a therapist again maybe sometime. But I’m gonna just say it and maybe delete this later. But I’m a rape + abuse survivor and it’s took me years to even “unlock” this trauma and properly process it. I’ve come a long way but idk I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been aching to come out but I also don’t wanna burden people.
#I want to ‘move on’ from this but I’m always gonna have ptsd and complicated triggers and. trying to make peace with that.#idk why it’s been at the forefront of my mind the past couple weeks#maybe because I’m yearning for a long term relationship rn and this is barriers I need to break through#like oh man if I wanna love someone and marry them I have to learn to trust them and take that leap#and the fact that I’m afraid of falling into an abusive relationship again#because as much as I tell myself I’d recognize the warning signs and would leave immediately#I truly will never know what I would do until it actually happens#and I think just the fear of falling for someone and having them turn out to be a scumbag is alone too much#I need to vet potential partners through multiple friend groups or something#my therapist always told me that the reason toxic and/or abusive people try to enter my life is because they can tell I’m vulnerable#like that I’m some sort of easy target because I was a people pleaser and empathize easily#and people realize they can get away with some shitty stuff and take advantage of me since I’m loyal and forgiving#I don’t think I’m like that anymore. I feel like I’m a lot more assertive and like. cognizant of red flags now.#but again… it’s a fear I have#idk what I’m even saying anymore.
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makes me kind of sad that no one’s made a proper multifemale edit of taylor’s who’s afraid of little old me? bc, okay look, the song is filled with so much female rage that when i see people using it for edits for male characters, and it’s male characters that i like or love don’t get me wrong, it’s like they’re not getting what the song is about. it feels weird seeing it paired to anything other than women and what we’ve struggled with.
#before ANYONE says anything; yes i’m aware that men struggle too#i am in NO WAY invalidating the fact that they’ve gone through awful stuff but i’m focusing on women#but women have a long history of being invalidated period and i think we should be more aware of it when it comes to stuff like this#i mean i see it used for spider-man or stiles stilinski and i just dont vibe with it#i love both those characters but the song isnt meant for them#then i see it used for characters like paul atreides or anakin or joker?? and i wanna fight#it’s like are you serious?? did you not even pay attention to the song? and you decide to use clips from their movies for it?#i’m very much aware that this is the internet and you can edit whatever you want and creative freedom or whatever#but i also have creative freedom to voice my opinion and disagree with the use#and i dont mean to gatekeep the song AT ALL#i just want people to really pay attention to the lyrics and recognize that it isnt some villain strut or badass ballad#it’s a song about being broken down to pieces and rising up despite it; telling those that pulled you apart or watched as you fell#that they SHOULD be afraid of you and what you’re capable of BECAUSE they’re the ones to blame for their own undoing#and i firmly still believe it’s a female rage song and should stay it#if you HAD to give it to a male character give it to someone who it makes SENSE for#someone like percy jackson or you know what no i change my mind#it’s so clearly meant for women that i’m not entertainting that idea#sorry for the rant#taylor swift#who’s afraid of little old me#the tortured poets department#ttpd#ts ttpd
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