#too often i see cis ppl have sentiments like

[stinkrascal]

it’s so hard being a datv lover on the internet right now, i can’t make any comments about how much im enjoying the game without some weirdo on reddit being like “yeah but dont you find the dialogue so cringe? doesnt it feel so disney+ to you?” and when i ask what they mean without fail they’re like “well have you seen taash talk about their gender” 😐

[blackwoolncrown]

Hello! Real question here. How come 'queer' is a white cishetcentric concept?

I feel like I answered that in the very post I mentioned it but on the grounds that this is a good faith question, here is my sentiment on the matter:

'Queer' as a word connotates strangeness, outlier qualities etc.

Contemporary lgbt ppl often tout a stance of reclamation and we are occupied with both being proud of this non-normativity and justifying strangeness as natural.

This makes sense only within a context that still somehow centers and organizes in relation to a sense of normativity that is cis,white,het. Those cannot be separated because the mainstream gender norms were created WITH whiteness during colonization as a justification for the brutal violences against indigenous people.

This whole process of being like "Yeah I *am* strange! I'm weird! That's good! In fact nature is queer too!" is silly to me because again, there s nothing weird or strange about gender or sexual diversity. There is nothing truly strange in all of nature- only from a human normative perspective (and a narrow one at that) that views nature as separate from self, unknowable and somewhat hostile. To itself, nature in all its diversity IS common.

And that's all it is at the end of the day: mundane, natural diversity, the likes of which was and is well documented on the gender/sexuality scale in precolonial indigenous society.

I am not weird, I'm not an outlier. I'm not even 'afraid' of being weird- I just feel like the idea is juvenile. It's reactionary. It's coping. I'm beyond coping.

My identity is common, natural. It is not in opposition to a cis-het identity. It is just one of many possible ways to be. I am not comparing myself to cis het people. I would be me without them.

Let me repeat: I refuse to have an identity that requires cisheterosexuality in its definition. I am entirely disinterested in triangulating myself around or against notions of identity thought up by delirious, violent, spiritually ill europeans some scant handful of generations ago when I can have a sense of identity far broader and older than that.

My people existed for thousands upon thousands of years before 'queerness' was invented and tbh I think that it is an inevitable stumbling block that we today are concerned with looking back at these identities- which were as far as labels are involved more social roles than personal identities- and trying to understand and valuate them through a contemporary queer lens.

overall contemporary LGBT identity struggles are more concerned with seeing sexuality and gender as an individualistically oriented quality than a language of social role and responsibility which IMO is one area where it can fail to provide some people with a sense of personal meaning and solidity they seek. But you can't expect much else from an individualistic culture.

This is not to say that there are not gender/sexuality identities that DO have this quality of being more a social role but it is no wonder that most of that cultural aspect is found with and originates from people of color, generally speaking. This is also not to say there aren't reasons WHY contemporary queer culture is centered around reactivity and response to oppression. I'm just saying like... I don't personally vibe with the idea that my existence and expression is here to be a form of rebellion. I am saying it exists beyond, before, during and after any oppression. I am who I am with or without white people or colonization and ONLY within the context of created-white created-cishet people have I ever been considered 'strange' in any way. I'm not gonna affirm to myself and in my reality some shit ppl like that made up. I'm not in the business of centering the opinions of petty oppressors.

Lastly I feel like a non-zero amount of so-called queer people become so preocupied with reclaiming queerness by expressing an outer strangeness (which has its purpose!) that we overlook that for many what they really fear is being totally unremarkable and common.

I personally find it more important to develop an identity that explains what you do in the village; what you are to your loved ones.

:shrug:

[genderkoolaid]

thinkin abt that quote thats like "there is more to be learned from wearing a dress for a day than wearing a suit for a lifetime" and like. i get that for many people femininity is a radical transgressive act. it is for me sometimes! i don't entirely not relate to the sentiment!

but i feel like it comes from the erasure of butchness & transmasculinity when ppl say stuff like this. like... for people who have been forced to wear a dress for a lifetime, wearing a suit is a radical act of defiance and learning abt yourself.

we need to stop reducing queerness down to "learning to be feminine and rejecting masculinity!" 1. butches (not just butch lesbians but all butches including men) exist and butch masculinity is radical 2. it's actively hostile to transmascs. it's deeply upsetting to see people insisting that wearing a suit isn't radical and can't help you learn anything like wearing a dress can, because you know what trans men are told all the goddamn time, by cis feminists especially?

that we just need to embrace our womanhood. that we need to find power in being women. we are constantly told that our maleness and our masculinity is succumbing to the patriarchy and that actually, the REAL radical act is to be women. i cannot express how much femininity can be a force of the status quo for transmascs.

and yeah these quotes and these sentiments are often personal and they arent inherently bad and everyone has their own experience.

but when you hear these ideas constantly repeated in queer spaces, and never the opposite, it creates this constant, background radiation of erasure. it's a small reminder that we are not thought about or considered. there's a reason we have the term microaggression. this happened in that JVN video too, i remember; a whole lot of people talking about being feminine and not one single transmasculine person. queer masculinity is constantly erased.

i'm not saying "never talk about how radical femininity can be" i'm just asking people to consider transmasculinity seriously for five seconds and realize that not everyone is escaping from masculinity to femininity. positioning femininity as universally freeing and masculinity as universally imprisoning is transmasc erasure and creates a hostile environment for us.

[autogyne-redacted]

My Theory Brian had playing around with the idea that the intense and conflicting ways in which others can project meaning into transfems sets us up to function like a kind of symbolic wildcard that can be, like, ritually sacrificed to give others a way to resolve the contradictions in their identities and moral systems.

.

discussion of transmisogyny including violent forms, banishment/general social disposal, sexual fetishization, misgendering, etc.

Sometimes it's less than a sacrifice, but it still strikes me that were a powerful object in others symbolic rituals. Misgendering us in sex allows others to maintain an identity as whatever combo of gay or straight and man, woman, or nb they want, with the option to lean into a contradictory construction of us to ~flavor~ the sex.

Eg a cis woman or cafab femme can say they're respecting our gender and that they're extremely gay while projecting masculinity and manhood into us to have an experience akin to straight sex. (Or a man can have something akin to gay sex while maintaining an identity as straight, etc.)

//

We can also see harassment and violence from men as a way of resolving the tension between a misogynistic hatred of women and the kind of chivalrous ideals that say you shouldn't do violence to women. We can simultaneously be constructed as an embodiment of femininity (and thus a proper outlet for misogynistic ire) and as a predatory man, thus letting those who do violence to us position themselves as chivalrous protectors of women and children.

///

I've talked before about the kind of symbiotic polarization between framing social conflict within a community (no matter how severe) as drama that should be brushed aside vs escalating every conflict into a schismatic one. Rather than having a static position on one pole or another, I think lots of ppl osculate. It would feel bad (especially in the context of rad scenes) to let too many years go by without doing anything to show you're materially opposed to abuse, but this is in tension with not wanting to disrupt the community, lose a close friend, or come into messy conflict with someone who has social power. The regular disposal of transfems is an easy fix.

//

I also keep coming back to this thought when I try and think about why feminist transmisogyny plays out the ways that it does. I've largely been thinking about the tension between the build up of anti-man resentment that is encouraged in idpol feminist spaces and the fact that most ppl ultimately want to be in social proximity to men and be on friendly terms with them. Idpol feminists will often frame anti-man sentiment as simply venting or "punching up," which privileged ppl just need to become comfortable with and (like reverse racism) is harmless since you need systemic power to oppress anyone.

The desire to find an outlet for these vindictive tendencies aligns with the dominant attempt to cast the blame for the harms of patriarchy onto transfems and suddenly there's the right arrangement of social power to live out revenge fantasies.

What is the "welcome to womanhood" impulse other than glee at the "role reversal" of having someone who can be misgendered as a man facing misogyny?

See also:

-women talking about how great it'd be to objectify men more vs how they relate to transfems

-the pressure for transfems to "prove" their lack of "privilege" by being extremely disempowered + experiencing a ton of misogyny.

-the frequent glee at our suffering.

-Id also say the extreme amount of "anti-white" sentiment that gets thrown at (often non-white) transfems also makes sense within this framework of using a socially acceptable / non-powerful target to live out revenge/role reversal fantasies and just projecting whatever identities and actions onto them are necessary to justify it and make the script work.

///

I feel like I'm probably bouncing off of ideas I've seen ppl vaguely gesture at, and I'm still playing around with all these ideas. Curious about y'all's thoughts tho and thought I'd share <3

[adorpheus]

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site. 

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic. 

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom. 

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom. 

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~. 

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die? 

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday. 

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life. 

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here? 

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

 god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!! 

[brvdleymilligan]

HLO slinks in thru a bead curtain.......... truly sry this took me so long to concoct bt i’m here now, hand on hip, smiling coyly at u all...... i’m nai n i’m rly excited to b here so i’ll just dive right in!! u can find bradley’s pinterest board here n her muse tag here. like this or hmu for plots!

[ cis female, she/her, margaret qualley , twenty-four ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw BRADLEY MILLIGAN drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +RESILIENT and -VOLATILE that makes them feel UNPHASED about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of LEMON IN A FRESH CUT, THE AMBER BLINK OF AN ANGRY ALLEY CAT, GRINNING WITH BLOOD ON YOUR TEETH. either way, i hope they get back safely. [ nai, she/her, 24, gmt ]

aesthetics: singeing a hole in your fishnets with the cherry of a menthol, spitting a pistachio behind the bar just to hear it ping off the nozzle top bottles, lemon in a fresh cut, a war torn poppy standing alone in an empty field, pressing thumbs to yellow bruises, stomping over flowerbeds when there’s a path right besides it, dangling over ledges just to feel your chest jolt, a snarling rottweiler that needs muzzling, limp feet poking out behind a door, ‘I PROMISE I DON’T BITE’ scrawled on a name tag, slapping a bald head in front of you at the cinema like it’s a bongo, not owning a single jacket that isn’t stolen, driving a stranger’s car down the wrong lane against the screaming traffic, hair more feral than a wolf cub and eyes smudgier than a coal mine.  

BACKGROUND:

ok SO. her father owns a strip club in crescent hill named no angels. it’s kind of.... a seedy establishment i won’t lie. hs a red glowing sign like it’s lighting up a window in amsterdam. cigarette butts floating in oil slick puddles outside. unsavoury characters crawling all over like rats in a sewer. despite this it’s a legitimate business on the surface of things n it does pretty well in trade. it’s like.... that place people warn u NOT to have ur bachelor party at unless u fancy urself the type tht willingly enters a lion’s den bt tht almost??? adds to the allure in a way??? ppl r like wow so sketchy it’s the thrill of a lifetime........ i mean run while u still can bt go off i guess

it isn’t Confirmed Public Knowledge bt it’s pretty heavily implied thru the rumour mill that bradley’s father is the head of a gang of rly............ Not Nice people. all the ppl that work for him u would hands down NOT want to run into in a dark alley. while things seem legitimate on the suface it’s pretty clear they’re into shady dealings n the townsfolk that suspect that would indeed b correct! the club’s a front for a drug business n they’re also washing n running counterfeit cash thru it. they probably also have their hands dipped into a few other local businesses to run their cash thru these too n keep it all seemingly by the books so nobody comes sniffing around. they even r friends with a member of local law enforcement that’s working w them for a cut so they honestly have all bases covered to keep things airtight n foolproof. perhaps a business in reed too which bradley oversees bt i haven’t given this Too Much thought as of yet??

so ya she’s grown up fairly local most of her life n would maybe be known around town as such.................. the milligans r certainly Interesting as far as families go so like. it honestly wldn’t surprise me if ppl nudge elbows when they see one of them coming n immediately walk in the opposite direction. just quite an intimidating presence...... they’re like caged animals where ur specifically instructed NOT to stick ur fingers between the bars bc they WILL bite

on a more personal note her dad is pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story.

(abuse tw) they had a horrible marriage n tony ws emotionally manipulative at the best of times, violent at worst, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole unhealthy mess.

(death implied tw) anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline

(drugs implied tw) she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n often gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

(hospitalisation tw) she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

CUT TO!!!! the present. she’s currently living at the motel which is like. the least homely place she cld ever live rly but bradley loves making her life uncomfortable n doesn’t rly believe in growing sentimentally attached to anything if she cn help it <3 probably gets into arguments all the time w her neighbours it’s a whole thing.... atrocious at feeding herself has breakfasts frm the vending machine like her organs aren’t screaming fr vegetables.... plays music too loud n sometimes vanishes for days at a time without a word. she’s a lot.

i honestly feel like the murders haven’t rly phased bradley too hugely....... i won’t lie she probably genuinely is like. oh maybe it’s smthn to do w my dad. n just blinks the other way not rly that phased. on some subconscious level i think she rly just thinks........ death follows her wherever she goes n is like. this is just life for me! kind of depressing. holds her hand bt then screams n pulls away when she inevitably bites me.

PERSONALITY:

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of whiskey, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

(alcoholism tw) high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u (rare) and u murder a man in cold blood (not so rare in the broad scheme of bradley’s life) she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. ALL her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality. definitely NOT a romantic. very cut n dry abt these things. sex is mostly just sex n she’d kind of scoff at anyone that wanted more from her

mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. huge chunky stomping boots with steel toe caps that would RLY bruise if they gave u a kick. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hs kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content. the only time she rly looks put together is when she has to do something/go somewhere/see someone on behalf of her father....... he kind of uses her as a sort of. honey pot sometimes fr shit his gang get up to it’s like. not! a way u should ever utilise ur daughter but :/ i cannot stress enough how much i wna drop kick him in the neck

she’s v sarcastic. blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s very confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever if she feels like it. independent too like she hs a bunch of (predominantly surface connection) friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone n does this often. she’s probably kind of known around town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: drunken snow angels that drag on so long they flirt with pneumonia, stealing cars, throwing watermelons off rooftops to watch them explode, shooting pedestrian’s with bb guns from hidden spots on rooftops. 

dislikes: telling the truth, tulips so yellow it’s like they’re gloating, playing music loud enough to fry your brain and serve it on a piece of toast, going home.

PLOTS:

someone tht works at the ‘no angels’ strip club?? either as a dancer or bartender or whtever. just a forewarning it’s probably gna b a pretty….. seedy and Not That Pleasant environment bc it’s like. a crime hotspot inevitably bc it’s a gang hangout so. ur chara wld truly be in fr a rollercoaster ride to say the least

(drugs tw) she deals coke fr her dad’s gang so perhaps ur muse buys off her

anyone….. she’s brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship honestly bradley is. a handful...... it’s also rly not often she ties herself down tbh so this would maybe have to b discussed/be circumstantial/kind of rare)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n broke the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she……. Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

maybe people who r her neighbours that live at the motel too??

OH it could b fun if ur muse runs or works at a local business maybe like. a bar? idk? n bradley n ur muse have developed a rapport bc she frequents the place n is................ a Character

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

[fu-si-un]

Wrt conversations about bisexuality & pansexuality, trans ppl clearly have a different stake in them than cis ppl do. I can only speak for myself as one tme nonbinary bi person—other trans / nonbinary bi ppl have had different experiences than me & may approach this topic from different directions.

Generally my feeling is that, considering that trans ppl are more likely than cis members of lgbtq+ communities to id as pan, rhetoric positioning pansexuality as being unnecessary terminology, inherently & irredeemably ignorant, etc. has served to alienate a significant number of trans / nonbinary ppl in our communities. I also feel like it’s worrisome when—whether in conversations abt bisexuality & pansexuality, or otherwise—bi history, cis bi history included, gets positioned as having always been trans-inclusive.

There's definitely conversations to be had around bisexuality, pansexuality, and transness. One often-discussed (as too many ppl are still uninformed of the implications / history around it) aspect of the topic is that ppl need to stop acting like etymology, prefixes, etc. have the final say over actual bi ppl—trans bi ppl, ofc, have a different stake in this than cis bi ppl do—and bi communities. We get to define ourselves, and this matters.

In light of seeing a continued rise in anti-pan sentiment from other lgbtq+ ppl on this site, I feel it matters for us to consider that other ppl get to define themselves as well. I feel like ppl too often approach this topic in ways that are dismissive to pan ppl, who clearly—trans pan ppl, ofc, have a different stake in this than cis pan ppl do—find pansexuality to be an important or otherwise useful descriptor.

It’s harmful when ppl use etymology, prefixes, etc. as a basis to speak over bi ppl about our identities. I don’t feel it’s wrong for anyone to consider things like that wrt their own self-definition, though. I guess I’m pretty convinced of the opposite, in that I feel like telling people they can’t care about those things when it comes to the words they’re using for themselves, to communicate something highly personal, is in itself harmful.

[thetrashywritingwitch]

i wanna reply to this real quick with my own thoughts and opinion on this. i'm a millennial, born in the 90's and grew up without the internet or social media or widespread access to all of the vast information and media we now have at our finger tips.

sometimes i do reblog things because i think it's important to think about or to make my followers aware of, things that might be non issues or things i don't even think about after seeing it on my dash (this is definitely a detriment and imo a result of Consuming Content at a far faster rate than even a decade ago where if we're not looking at or engaging with social media, a lot of us don't know what to do). that being said, not every viewpoint or opinion piece can be representative of an entire generation or age group. everyone's experiences and social circles are different and more often than not, there's little to no overlap between group A and group B even if they might pass very close to each other.

In general i think folks my age see a lot of hope in the younger generation. you have access to SO MUCH more than we ever had growing up. i literally remember doing research papers by searching through my grandma's complete set of encyclopedia books because the internet just wasn't a thing. and until i was a young adult, media representation wasn't on my radar at all (i say this as a cis white woman who grew up in a conservative and very White environment). if millennials think gen z is stupid, then they're foolish because i see kids half my age who are more considerate, more knowledgeable, more open to diversity. obviously, this isn't applicable to everyone or all groups, but the ability to find people online and media that's diverse is now considered more important because there's really no excuse due to the vast accessibility we have to all kinds of people and varying representations.

... however, i definitely have also seen a rise in attachment to media/shows/characters/games as an extension of someone's personal belief system or their morals. which imo isn't good. and some folks might be placing way too much importance on LGBTQIA2S+ representation in media as an equivalence to things being Better politically or socially. which just isn't true if we look at abortion rights being stripped away in the US as we try to run up an escalator going down. feels fucking endless, tiring, hopeless, sometimes. diverse media representation is incredibly important because our world is diverse, but it's not The most important thing (and i've seen this sentiment across all age groups, not just gen z. i've seen this from people older than me!)

so yeah, basically it's not great to generalize an entire generation (we can just call that ageism which is just a very shallow way of dividing people outside of class when the reality is we have more in common within our class structures across gen z, millennials, and older generations), but what and who we observe and the ppl we surround ourselves with can vary widely. and i have seen some absolute dumbass opinions and takes from some people across twitter, tumblr, discord, w/e it is. but there will be people like that in every generation and we just have to keep doing our best to educate those around us so long as they're open to it.

I don't want to be dramatic but it's actually dangerous for young LGBT people to think their rights came from media representation lol. They didn't decriminalize homosexuality or crossdressing because of a handful of rich gay celebrities or famous drag queens being sufficiently Visible™️. If you actually think that you're wholly unprepared to fight back against what's here and what's coming.

[couldbegayer]

ok i’ve received more asks about this again and because i am sick of it i’ve decided fuck it. the following is just a stream of consciousness about the issue and i hope i’m getting my point across. please read it all the way through as i do go off on tangents. in posting this i am never going to answer another ask about the issue ever again and i’ll just link to this post in the faq. sorry in advance for my tone, i am very frustrated that i can’t just run this blog in peace.

my opinion on the a*ce discourse (whether cis heteroromantic ace people/cis heterosexual aromantic people are inherently part of the lgbt+ community) is that it is a lot more muddy and unclear than either side would probably admit. for the purposes of this post, for this i am just considering heteroromantic ace people to keep it simple.

ok, so cishet ace people and gay/bi people do have some things in common. there is the societal belief that every man and every woman must be sexually interested in the ‘opposite’ gender and that anything other than that is less than or wrong. this is damaging to everyone and out of a sense of obligation or never questioning any of it, many ppl (ace or otherwise) do things that they don’t truly want to do.

the primary reason that some people don’t think that cishet aces are inherently lgbt+ is because the community came about because of years and years of violent homophobia and transphobia. though there are some laws in place now and it’s better than it was before, homophobia and transphobia do still very much exist in today’s society. while it is true that cishet ace people do experience a coming out process and misunderstanding/prejudice of their orientation, it is still nothing like gay/bi and trans people experience. there were never anti-ace laws. people don’t question an asexual person’s right to marry who they want. ace people don’t get beaten up because of their asexuality.

then the water gets muddy. because while this is true, a lot of anti-ace woman sentiment that comes about outside of tumblr is due to misogyny. again, the expectation that women need to be sexually interested in men and anything that deviates outside of that is considered wrong or less than. i have no doubt that heteroromantic ace women get pressured into sex by straight men or unfortunately get raped. this is obviously appalling and no one should ever experience that. that is not being debated. it is however a bit hard to separate anti-ace sentiment and misogyny. rape is not something that only one subgroup of women can experience. it is all women regardless of sexuality who are at a higher risk of rape and sexual abuse and assault for simply existing as a woman. as for heteroromantic ace men, the anti-ace sentiment that they face is rooted in the societal belief that men must be sex crazed animals, or that ‘real men do this’. these beliefs are of course gross and i do not agree with them.

this is where the water gets even muddier and honestly makes me unsure what to believe. because while cis heteroromantic ace people do not experience homophobia or transphobia, they don’t quite fit into heteronormative society. they do experience anti-ace prejudice and misunderstanding from their non-ace straight counterparts. so this leaves heteroromantic ace people in an unfortunate middle ground where they may not be considered to belong anywhere, and everyone should feel like they belong.

where to go from here is also unclear. i do understand why people may be hesitant for heteroromantic ace people to be included under the lgbt+ umbrella, because they are just as likely as any other cis hetero (-romantic or -sexual) person to harbor homophobic or transphobic ideas. but honestly, there are bigger things to worry about than an ace person trying to feel like they belong somewhere. the hypothetical situation that often comes up is, ‘what if i’m kissing my same-gender partner in an lgbt+ space and an ace person tells me to stop because they are uncomfortable?’. obviously that’s shitty and homophobic. i don’t think any ace person would debate that. keep in mind that is a hypothetical situation and can be dealt with on an individual level if it ever happens.

so, do i think that a cis heteroromantic ace person is straight? honestly, not really. but do i think that makes them inherently lgbt+? i honestly don’t know and i can see some of the opinions on both sides, and i don’t really have any strong opinions except everyone needs to stop being a dick to each other. the world is not as black and white as people on here would have you believe. ace people are not stopped from going to pride, and the spread of this false information is just cruel to everyone, be it the lesbians who are often targeted or the ace people who are told that everyone hates them. it’s not true. i mean this in the nicest way possible, but some people do spend too much time on tumblr. tumblr is good in so many ways, but sometimes ideas circulate and get more extreme each time they go around.

i personally don’t mind ace people including themselves in lgbt+ spaces. like i said before, i think everyone should feel like they belong somewhere. they can also create their own ace spaces (there’s a pun in there somewhere, someone better grab that and run with it lol). there is obviously an issue of lesbophobia within the tumblr ace community. i’m not debating that at all and that needs to be dealt with accodingly. there is also a lot of anti-ace rhetoric in the wlw community which is also bad and i wish people would stop being dicks to each other. we’re all just trying to belong.

i want to be as clear as possible: i don’t want to answer any asks about this again. anon is going off. the expectation to participate in a*ce discourse is exhausting and frustrating. both sides are fucking toxic and nasty and i don’t want to be associated with either. people who unironically call themselves aphobes are fucking annoying children and people who use this discourse to justify lesbophobia are awful.

as per the question about why i screen blogs for transphobia but not anti-ace beliefs, there is a clear wrong side in regards to transphobia. the ace debate is more muddy and i do try to avoid people who are extreme on either side. if you want someone who only reblogs posts from blogs on your side of choice, whether “inclusionist” or “exclusionist”, then this blog is probably not for you. that being said, i don’t reblog any posts that are specifically about the discourse itself.

in conclusion, stop being dicks to each other. there. done. return to regular blogging.