#I know this movie is going to destroy me emotionally

[nicolethered]

I’m going to make gifs from this later but the video is so cute that I wanted to post it now.

[pianokantzart]

Thinking about how the most anxious and inexperienced version of Mario is paired up against the most unhinged and powerful version of Bowser.

[the-kuvira-beifong]

so that was a lot of emotional damage

^ me talking about interstellar

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Diahann Carroll (Paris Blues, Carmen Jones, Porgy and Bess)— Face of an angel. She had the range. She brought chemistry with every romance she portrayed. She also had a great fashion sense, and was so pretty Mattel made a doll based off of her.

We are in the quarterfinals of the Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Propaganda is not my own and is on a submission basis. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Diahann Carroll:

Another groundbreaking black actress, although she might be better remembered for her television roles. She was also an activist and worked with charities to support women in need.

here she is hanging out with shadow prince anthony perkins :3

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

[starsinthesky5]

the alchemy || joe burrow x reader

description: why fight a feeling that is so strong? sometimes things are meant to be and you should let things fall into place. the transformation of something dull and broken into gold is hard to ignore, and you shouldn’t ignore it :)

a/n: another request! i love this song soo much so i hope you all enjoy! for the purposes of this fic, this takes place after their first superbowl appearance and after joe sprains his mcl. 

also another flashback heavy fic because of the song 🤍

warnings: language, angst, allusions to sex

word count: 10k (dang she’s a long one) 

————————————————————

Have you ever experienced something that happens once every few lifetimes? When those chemicals just hit you like white wine and make you drunk on the feeling. The feeling you get when you’re with the right person, that unbreakable connection, that intense and passionate love? That’s what you feel with Joe. Anyone in your position would hang onto that for as long as they could, and never let go. And you were, but something scared you and caused you to pull away. 

Flashback to a few weeks ago 

You and Joe were lying on the couch, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and watching a movie. You were wearing one of his hoodies and leaning against his chest. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder and your head was tucked under it. You guys were having some downtime together and were trying to squeeze in as much as you could before the football season started in a few weeks.

You looked up at him and saw the content look on his face, and it was all because of you. He looked comfortable for the first time in a long time. A lot was riding on this season, and Joe was a little overwhelmed with everything going on, but you were there to help him every step of the way. 

“How ya feeling?” You asked your boyfriend.

He looked down at you and smiled, “I feel amazing. A lot better than I have these past few months,”.

You looked into his compelling eyes and could tell he was being truthful. He’d been struggling these past few months with his knee sprain, going to the Superbowl and losing, plus trying to get back to where he was before while trying to block out the outside noise. It had been a rough off-season for him, but one of the highlights had been meeting you early on. 

You and Joe had met right after the Super Bowl through mutual friends. When you first met, there was an instant connection, emotionally and physically. It was like pure electricity and heat between you two, something you hadn’t experienced in a while. No matter how hard you tried to deny it and run from it, you couldn’t. 

“That’s really great, Joe. I’m so proud of you for pushing through,” you grinned. 

“I owe it to you. You really helped me pull through all this these past few months. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, his hand moving to your cheek.

“Joe,” you said while placing your hand on top of his, wanting to tell him that he got to where he is right now because of his own hard work and dedication. You were just a silent observer to his greatness. 

“You’ve done so much for me. These past few months have been a dream. Getting to spend all this time with you has literally been the biggest blessing and a huge reminder that things don’t always have to be so complicated,” he says before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your soft pink lips. 

Your relationship with Joe felt pretty easy and relaxed, which was different for you since your previous relationships felt the complete opposite. You were his sanctuary and he was your light at the end of the dark tunnel. 

You lean into the kiss for a few seconds before he pulls away. He searches your eyes for a few moments, “I love you,” he says against your lips. It felt like the word stopped and you got punched in the gut when he said those three words. You hadn’t heard those three words in a very long time, and the last person who said those words to you absolutely destroyed you. You had had a few relationships throughout your life, each one worse than the other and it crushed you every time it ended. Your first serious relationship ended because the guy fell out of love. Your next relationship ended because the guy had feelings for someone else. And your last relationship, your longest, ended because he cheated on you multiple times and tried to make it seem like it was your fault, and that was the final blow. He used those three words against you every time, and now those three words came out of Joe’s mouth. 

He noticed your startled facial expression and immediately pulled back. “Are you okay?” He asked.

You were frozen. You didn’t know what to say or how to respond to him. It’s not that you didn’t love him, it’s just you were scared that it would happen to you again, and you wouldn’t be able to make it to the other side this time. You fell hard and fast for Joe, meaning if anything happened, it would shatter you beyond the point of return. 

“I’m fine,” you lie while moving out of his arms. 

“No, you’re not, I can see it. I just screwed things up didn’t I?” He said as he grabbed your hand. His face sported a worried and nervous look.

“No no no, you didn’t. I did,” you say, your heart racing and your face burning. “I can’t say it back,” you whisper as tears fill your eyes. 

Joe stayed silent for a few moments as he collected his thoughts. He loved you so much and knew why you couldn’t say it back. It broke his heart that you were scared to say it back. He knew you cared for him and your relationship was going amazingly, but he still tried to do everything he could to make you forget about the others before him. He was trying to undo the damage they had done. 

“Y/N-”,

“You deserve to have those three words said to you and I just can’t say it back. You are the most lovable, caring, and thoughtful human I have ever met, and I can’t even say it back?” You say as hot tears slide down your cheeks, feeling absolutely shitty that you were putting him in this position. 

“Y/N, listen to me”, he says as he grabs your hands to calm you down. “I don’t care if you can’t say it back right now. I know it’s not easy for you,”.

“But you should care,”.

“But I don’t. I know why you can’t and it’s okay. If you need time, I’m here. I can wait. I will wait,” he soothes. 

Your heart broke at the situation. You felt horrible for not being able to say those 3 words to him even though you felt those feelings towards him. He was willing to wait for you, but was he really? Joe could have anyone he wanted, so would he wait for you to make up your mind when he could just move to the next girl? You needed a minute to get yourself together, he didn’t deserve this, especially right before the start of the season. 

“I- I just need a minute. I’m so sorry. I’ll text you, but I just need a minute from this,” you said as you got off the couch, collecting your things so you could leave. 

Joe gets up, the look on his face makes you want to cry even harder. He lets out a sigh, “That’s okay, I understand. When you’re ready, I’m here,” he says. 

You give him a little smile as you pull him in for a hug before walking to the door and leaving his house. 

End of flashback 

The sounds of football reporters from the TV snapped you back to the present. It was currently Game Day, week 1 to be specific, and you were watching from your couch in your apartment. You should be watching from the Burrow Suite, just like how you and Joe talked about all off-season, but you weren’t, and it broke your heart.

It had been a few weeks since you had seen him, you were constantly replaying the horrible conversation in your head and feeling worse each time. He had texted you a few times to check in, but that was about it. You asked for space and he was giving it to you and you didn’t want to cause any more distress to him, especially since week 1 was right around the corner. You didn’t know how he was feeling, what he was doing, or who he was with. It was driving you insane, but you didn’t need to be filling his space with your mess right now. 

You watched the TV carefully as the camera moved back down onto the field, and closer to Joe. He was sitting on the bench in his pre-game gear, seemingly lost in thought as he stared off into space. He turned around and looked up for a few seconds, and that sight alone made your eyes well with tears again. 

You knew exactly what he was looking at and who he was looking for. You. He was looking for you in the suite. And here you were, sitting on the couch, alone, while you were supposed to be cheering him on in person. You wiped your eyes and took a few deep breaths. You didn’t want to distract him with your drama, so you understood that this needed to happen. He had to be laser-focused and you were being a distraction. 

And he was laser-focused. The Bengals won their first game of the season, 35-17, and Joe absolutely killed it. He didn’t miss a beat and the team was on fire from start to finish. The big smile on his face in his on-field interview calms you down and his post-game presser reassures you that he is doing good, at least for right now. 

A few hours later, you were lost in your thoughts. You were pondering whether or not you should send him a text about how great he did in the game. Was it stupid to text him? Did he even care? What if another girl was with him right now doing what you would be doing with him after his game? 

“Fuck it,” you mumbled while typing up a little message. 

Hey! Watched the game today and you killed it!!! Didn’t miss a single beat, so proud of you! 

Remember to elevate your leg with a cushion in case your knee feels a bit off. And also ice it, I think the ice wrap is in the freezer :))

You knew that his knee would probably be a little sore after today's game just like it would be after practice. You had discovered that throughout the off-season after he’d come over to your place after practice every day. You would be the one to help soothe any discomfort he had but since you weren’t there, you had to remind him. 

Flashback to June 

You were finishing up a project for work until you heard a soft knock on your apartment door. You looked over to the clock which read 3:30, meaning it was probably Joe since he would come over after practice wrapped up for the day. He would usually come over every Wednesday and Friday and sometimes stay the night or end up going back to his house pretty late. When he first started to do this, you asked him if it was too tiring for him since you figured he’d be able to fully unwind and decompress more in the comfort of his own home. But he told you that being with you was his way of relaxing and decompressing. 

You hopped off of the barstool and turned off the stove before walking over to the door to let him in. You made some spicy chicken and rice, seasoning everything just as he liked it. 

You opened the door and Joe immediately leaped onto you, pulling you in for an intimate hug. 

“Hello to you too,” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his large frame. 

He lets out a laugh as you lead him back into your apartment, still hugging each other. He uses his foot to kick the door shut and pulls you in closer. 

“You’re extra clingy today,” you laugh as you rub his back.

“Mmm, I missed you,” he mumbled against your head, pressing a delicate kiss onto your hair. 

“Me too,” you said as you stood on your toes so you could press a kiss to his cheek. You pulled away from each other after a few more moments of being in each other’s arms and Joe’s nose wiggled as a smirk appeared on his face. 

“You made my favorite,” he said, immediately recognizing the mouthwatering aroma. 

“That I did,” you giggled. “Here, come sit on the couch. You’re probably sore and exhausted,”.

“Ooo, do I get treatment from my sexy nurse today?” He teased as he walked over and collapsed on the couch. 

“If sweatpants and an old ass tank top from high school are sexy, then yes,” You grin while moving the cushions to help him elevate his knee. 

He stares at you while you help him get cozy, “You don’t have to do all this,”.

“Since you demand to come over after practice, the least I can do is help you get comfy. Don’t want your knee to act up because you didn’t take care of yourself just because you were with me,” you say while moving his leg over to the cushions. 

“Does it feel weird?” You look up and ask. 

He lets out a sigh, “Yeah, a little,”.

“I’ll grab the ice wrap,” you say as you walk over to the freezer.

“Yes, Ms. Nurse,” he salutes before grabbing the TV remote to turn on an episode of The Office.

“Really funny, Joe,” you say. 

A few minutes later, you wrap his knee in the ice wrap and curl up next to him on your couch, your head tucked under his strong arm and his hand sliding up and down your arm. You were playing with the strings of his hoodie and asked, “How was practice?”.

“It was good. I’m feeling and moving a lot better and the knee isn’t so bad. The soreness and weirdness will probably linger for a little bit so I’ll just have to put up with it,”.

“Good thing we got a routine down for taking care of it,” you smile.

“All thanks to you,” he says as he shakes your shoulder. 

“You give me too much credit,”.

“Mmm no I don’t. You know exactly what works and what doesn’t work. But I think the biggest remedy is you. You make my life and evenings after practice so much more relaxing. Best medicine and treatment by far,” he says as he looks down into your eyes.

You stare into his baby blues for a few moments before leaning in and capturing his lips in a tender kiss. 

“You’re too much, Burrow,” you laugh as you pull away. 

“But you can handle me so I can’t be thaaat much,” he smirks.

“What’s with the smirk,” you giggle.

“It’s just that you can handle me in more ways than one,” he says as he moves you into his lap, straddling his hips and chest pressed against his warm skin. 

“Dirty, Dirty Mind,” you say as you shake your head. “But you are right, I can handle you in every way possible. Never too much,” you say as you lean back in for another kiss. 

End of flashback 

You let out a deep breath and quickly turned your phone off so you would stop thinking about it. He probably wouldn’t even answer until tomorrow so why bother thinking about it? You got up off the couch and walked into your kitchen to heat up some leftover pasta and heard a chime come from the living room. You whipped your head around and saw your phone light up. Your eyes widened and you ran back over to the couch to check what it was.  

Thank You! And thanks for the reminder. I already have the knee wrapped and my leg elevated. I’m glad you decided to watch. I was hoping you’d make it to the game but I get it  

Your shoulders dropped at his text. He wanted you there and you let him down. You didn’t know how to respond to him because you didn’t want to make it worse, so you just decided to send a white heart emoji and turn your phone off. 

You moved back onto the couch and fell back into the pillows. A loud exhale escapes your mouth, “What is wrong with me,” you say to yourself.

A few weeks later 

It had been a few weeks since the first game of the season. It was currently week 6 and you still hadn’t seen Joe or really talked to him. The Bengals were 2-3 and you knew that was killing Joe and you wanted nothing more than to reassure him that it was going to get better. Like clockwork, the analysts began their ‘is Burrow really as good as people think he is?’ agenda just because he had a few bad games. 

To help take your mind off of things, Jess had invited you out for lunch so you were getting ready for that. You were putting on your last bit of jewelry when one of your necklaces on your stand caught your eye. It was the infinity necklace Joe had gifted you for your birthday a few months ago. 

Flashback to your birthday (August)

“And here is the last birthday gift,” Joe says as he places a tiny box in your lap. 

“Are you sure it’s the last one?” You giggle. 

He raises his brow and gives you a look that immediately shuts you up. He had surprised you with quite a few gifts today and many of them were very expensive looking. Each time you told him you didn’t need or want anything, but he clearly had a different idea. 

“Okay, Okay,” you retreat, causing him to let out a laugh. 

His arm wraps around your shoulder as you open the box. Inside the box was a beautiful diamond infinity necklace. Your eyes widen and your mouth falls open, “Joe, this is so beautiful,” you say as you examine the gorgeous diamonds.

“Only the best for my girl,” he smiles as he squeezes your shoulder. 

“You didn’t have to do all this. This must’ve been so expensive,”.

“So what? It’s your birthday and I think this infinity symbol really resonates with how I feel about you,” he says as he picks up the necklace out of the box. “Here, turn around so I can put it on,”. 

You turn around and move your hair out of the way. The smile on your face says enough about your emotions. Butterflies filled your belly and your heart was overflowing with adoration. He was so good to you and always made sure you felt valued by him, and he would do anything to show you and seemingly wanted to show you that forever. Infinity. He wanted to be with you for infinity. 

End of flashback 

You stared at the necklace for a few moments. You hadn’t worn it since the day you freaked out on Joe but you looked at it every day. A silent reminder that he does value you and he does care, but moreover, he adores you. But you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t show him the same love he gave you. 

You grabbed the necklace, not overthinking it, and put it around your neck. You then grabbed your stuff and left your apartment so you wouldn’t have time to reconsider wearing it. 

A few hours later 

“So she told me she couldn’t go because she spilled Juice all over her dress but I think it was because she didn’t want to be around Becca since she started dating her exes best friend,” Jess says as she takes a sip of her lemonade.

“Man, your college friends are really something,” you laugh as you take a bite of your salad. 

“Tell me about it,” she smiles.

“So, what’s going on with you and Joe?” She asks straight up. “I see that you’re wearing the necklace,” she points out. 

Your smile drops a bit as you take a deep breath. You knew you’d have to talk about it at some point and you really needed to talk about it to someone who you could confide in. Jess was the perfect person. You and her immediately clicked when you first met at a team dinner back in the off-season and have been great friends ever since. 

“I don’t know. He told me he loved me and I couldn’t say it back,” you frowned. “And as for the necklace, I don’t really know why I put it on today,”. 

“Oh, Y/N,” she says as she reaches for your hand. 

“I want to say it back but I’m scared. Joe has the ability to rip me to shreds if things go south and I can’t go through that again. Not after what happened in my last relationship. He’s so perfect and that worries me,” you say.

“Joe isn’t like the others,” Jess says.

“I know, and that’s why I’m confused. I don’t know why I’m being like this. He hasn’t given me a single reason to be this fearful. And I honestly don’t understand why he’s putting up with this. He’s probably better off forgetting about me and moving on with some other girl,”.

“Are you crazy?” She questioned. “Joe hasn’t stopped asking me about you. Every time I see him at the game he’s always asking about you and if you’re doing alright,” she giggles.

“Really?” You say, a little shocked that he thought about you that much, especially on game day. 

“Yes, really. Y/N, he loves you. I’ve known Joe for a very long time and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s never been this in love with someone before. You’re special. You bring out the absolute best in him and he does the same for you,”. 

“And you're saying there isn’t anyone else that he’ll just go to after he gets bored with me?” You ask.

“Nope. Never was and never will be. You’re the one to beat. You stole his heart. He’s never going to get bored when he has someone special like you in his life,” she winks. 

“I think you’re just afraid of getting your heart broken again, and that’s fair. You’ve been through a lot and it can’t be easy to get into it again after going through a really tough and long relationship. But as your friend and as Joe’s friend, you owe it to him and yourself to try. He cares about you more than he cares about anyone, and that says a lot,”.

“The way Joe spent all those months in the off-season trying to win you over was unlike anything we’ve ever seen him do,”

Flashback to March 

“He’s here?” you say to Jenna, wide-eyed and slightly nervous. 

“Yeah, Dylan invited him,” She giggled. “Be prepared for another round of flirting, he is relentless,”. 

Today was your friend Jenna’s birthday dinner. You had become friends at the end of last year when your job transferred you to the Cincinnati branch, and you instantly hit it off and became close friends in a short amount of time. She introduced you to all her friends and you became a part of their big group and that also meant becoming friends with her fiancee’s friends. They were all great and super friendly, except one of them was a bit too friendly with you. It was none other than the Bengals Quarterback, Joe Burrow. He and Dylan went to OSU together and were a part of the football program there and have kept in touch ever since, so you shouldn’t have been surprised when he walked into your friend’s dinner. 

“He just never stops. Like 2 weeks ago when we all went to Dinner for Jess’s birthday, he was stuck to my side the entire time,” you said to her. 

“What did I tell you? He likes you, Y/N,” she laughed as she sipped her drink. 

“Yeah right. I know how these football players roll and I am not about to get caught up in that mess and get my heart broken all in one go,” you say as you watch him closely. Joe had taken a particular interest in you ever since you had met in February. You weren’t exactly sure why, but every time you would see him, he would end up stuck to your side the entire time. He would constantly talk to you, literally never shutting up. He would make little comments about how pretty you looked and how you were the nicest person he had ever met. You had a lot of things in common such as your music taste, your favorite movies, your small-town upbringing, and even your childlike tendencies such as playing Mario Kart & Smash Bros religiously at your grown age. Just the usual flirting but you were not buying into it. Sure, you would play into it and flirt back, but you had 0 intentions of actually starting something with him out of all people. 

Each time you saw him, each time he would try to get you to hang out with him, just the two of you. Whether it was him suggesting that you two watch a movie at his place, go out to a new restaurant, or do anything you wanted to do, you always shut him down. Partly because you had your guard up around him for various reasons, but also because you didn’t think he actually liked you. You thought he just wanted to hook up and become casual fuck buddies like a typical football player, but you had no idea that those were not his intentions at all. 

Joe really did like you and was doing anything to get you to give him a chance. He hadn’t felt this way about a girl in a very long time, and he was set on winning you over by any means necessary. You felt a little bad watching him struggle with you each time, but you were silently enjoying it. Something about having a star QB wrapped around your finger was amusing. 

“I won’t lie, it is kinda fun to watch him attempt to make a move every time we see each other,” you laugh as you continue to stare at him. Although you didn’t want any part of him, he did look absolutely sexy. You would be lying to yourself if you said he wasn’t the most attractive man you had ever seen in your life. 

“I give it a few months. You’ll be wrapped up in his arms,” Jenna says as she waves Joe over. He ends his conversation with a friend and starts walking over, a smile creeps up onto his face when he notices you sitting at the table.

You whip your head over to face her as you see him start to walk over, “What are you doing?” you say as you try not to act rude. 

“You’ll thank me for this in a few months,” she winks as she gets up from her chair, greeting Joe, and then walking over to Dylan, Sam, and Jess. 

You took a few deep breaths as you watched him sit down right next to you. “Here we go again,” you thought to yourself.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says, flashing his gorgeous smile to you. 

“Hi, Joe,” you smile back. 

“You look really pretty tonight,” he says as he takes a sip of his drink.

“Thank you,” you say back, hardly putting any effort into the conversation. 

You both find yourself in some awkward silence for a few moments before Joe speaks up once again. “Soo, What have you been up to?”.

“Oh, nothing much. Just the usual,” you say as you play with the rings on your fingers. 

“Cool, Cool,” he nods, the smile on his face slowly fading away. 

“So Um, have you given my dinner offer any thought since the last time we saw each other?” he asked, referring to when he asked you if you wanted to get dinner with him at this new sushi place downtown that he had been dying to go to. 

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Sorry, but I’m swamped with work for a while, don’t think I’ll have any time,” you lied, fully expecting him to keep pushing you for it like he usually does. It kinda was like a game of cat and mouse. You kept running away and he kept chasing, never being able to catch you, but also never giving up. 

He stays quiet for a few seconds as you watch his head drop and the grip on his drink tighten. He would normally start the playful banter by now but he hadn’t, which was odd. 

“See, I just don’t get it,” he said, looking back up at you, his usually joy-filled eyes now empty. 

“Get what?” you ask him, sitting up in your seat.

“You. I don’t get you. Ever since we met, you’ve been giving me mixed signals. I thought we had something going on here since you were very clearly flirting back, but every fucking time I try to move to the next step, you dodge me like the plague. I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong?” he said. 

“Joe, I-” you said, not knowing what to say to him. You felt horrible but he was right. You were sending him mixed signals but you thought he was having fun as well. Truth was, you weren’t dodging him, deep down you knew he was a good person and you actually enjoyed his company, you were just dodging the idea of dating and being in a relationship again. You just struggled with the idea of opening up to a person like that again, especially since the last time you did, it was used against you. And you were taking it out on Joe. 

“What? Literally, what could you possibly have to say?” he asks, his face turning a little red but his voice remaining leveled. Even though he was upset, he made sure not to raise his voice.  

You felt like throwing up in the moment because you felt awful for making him feel like this. The silence in between was enough of a response for him to get up. “Yeah, I figured. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry if something about me makes you want to run in the opposite direction,” he says as he turns around and walks back over to your friends who had just watched all this unfold. 

You just sat there in silence, feeling shitty for making him feel like he was the problem when in reality, it was you. You got up and walked to the bathroom, trying to escape the now awkward ambiance and also compose yourself. 

“What was that about?” Jess asked Joe when he walked over to them. 

He shook his head and took a few deep breaths before saying, “I don’t know. I thought she liked me too but every single time I try to make a move, she shuts me down,”. “I don’t know what the fuck I did,”. 

“Joe, you didn’t do anything,” Jenna said. 

“Then why is she acting like this? When we first met, everything was going well. We had good conversations, she could be around me without looking like she had to throw up, and now? Now she won’t even hold a conversation with me,” he said. 

“It’s because she’s scared of getting her heart broken again. All her exes were absolute assholes, each one worse than the other. Her last one really did a number on her but that’s not my story to tell. Just know, it was bad,” Jenna said.

“Jenna’s right. It is not your fault at all. I think deep down, she likes you too but is scared to admit it,” Jess added. “She always looks relaxed with you and seems like she always is having fun,”. 

“I just wish she would give me a chance. It feels like I hit a brick wall with her and shit is not moving,” Joe says, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Well, don’t give up man. I know you and you definitely don’t back down from a challenge,” Dylan says, patting his back.

“Yup. She’ll come around,” Sam says. 

“You just have to show her that you really really care about her. I know her and I know that once she sees how sincere you are about this, she’ll come through,” Jenna says. 

“You didn’t hear this from me, but Y/N loves cliche romantic gestures. Specifically handwritten love letters,” Jess winks. 

“Ooo, nothing more romantic than a love letter,” Jenna says while looking over to see if you have come back from the bathroom. 

“A love letter? Do I look like Romeo,” Joe scoffs. Seriously, a love letter? Joe could barely write out a sincere birthday message for his friends and family and they expect him to write a love letter?

“Listen, if you really wanna get the girl, try one more time,” Jess encourages. 

He thinks about it for a few seconds before giving in. This had to work. If you really liked gestures like this, Joe was going to make sure it was the best damn thing that’s ever happened to you.“This better work,” He says. 

“Just don’t feel bad Joe. She just needs to see that you really want this and I think this just might do it,” Jenna says.

“Yeah, I Hope so,” Joe says as he glances over to where you were sitting, the seat now empty. “I’m gonna go get some air,” he says to your friends as he walks out to the entrance of the restaurant.

They were right. Joe never backed down from a challenge and he really wanted you. He was going to do whatever it took to win you over, even if that meant doing something he would never think to do in a million years. 

“I’ve never seen Joe like this before,” Sam says to everyone after Joe walks away.

“Tell me about it. She has him wrapped around her finger and I really hope she doesn’t pass on this,” Jess says.

“They’re perfect for each other. She just needs to see it and hopefully this will do it,” Jenna says as you walk back out to the dining room.

A few days later 

It had been a few days since Jenna’s birthday dinner. You had managed to avoid Joe the entire night but still felt guilty at the fact that you had been so terrible to him for reasons out of his control. 

You were sitting on your couch reading one of your favorite romance novels. Everything was always so perfect in the books. The girl always got the boy and everything was so romantic and beautiful. When was it going to be your turn? When would you be able to feel like the girls in the books? A knock on your door snapped you out of your thoughts, “Hm?” You questioned since you weren’t expecting anyone. 

You walked over to the door, opened it, and then were met with a large flower arrangement, no human in sight. 

“What the hell,” you said to yourself as you crouched down to pick up the beautiful flowers, which happened to be your favorite, pink roses. 

You kicked the door shut with your foot as you walked over to the kitchen island. “Who are these from?” You asked yourself. You searched the flowers for a card and found one tucked into the bottom of the pot. 

You pulled over a barstool and sat down before you opened up the envelope. A little note was folded inside. You carefully pulled the paper out and opened it up to read it. You tilted your head out of confusion. The note was handwritten and the handwriting looked a little familiar. 

—

Dear Y/N,

I don’t really know how to do this, but please don’t think this is cringey or corny. I think I’ve rewritten this letter like 5 times now so I'm really trying to make this work. Anyways, I feel awful for the way I handled things the other day and I know you’re probably sick of me but I just can’t ignore these feelings anymore. 

From the moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you—something that drew me in and captivated my heart. You’re a very special girl and you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope that I can be a part of that. I know it’s only been a short amount of time since we’ve met but every time I see you, I’m reminded that you’re not just something I dreamed about. You’re real and you’re here. And I want to be with you. 

Your smile lights up my world and your laughter is like music to my ears. Every time you walk into a room, my heart skips a beat and I find myself completely enchanted by your presence. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, both inside and out. 

I find myself constantly thinking about you, day and night, dreaming of the day when I can finally tell you how much you mean to me. Your kindness, your intelligence, your sense of humor - all of these things make me fall for you more and more with each passing day. 

I know that I might just be a small blip on your radar, but I couldn't let another day go by without expressing my feelings for you. I know that this is hard for you, but I really hope you’ll give me a chance to show you that I’m different, and that we can be different. 

Sending my love, 

Joe. 

—

You felt hot tears streaming down your cheeks and onto the countertop, as you finished reading the letter. Nobody had ever written you a love letter before even though it was something you would constantly dream about and mention indirectly to your ex-lovers. None of them got the hint that this was something you wanted. But here you were, reading a love letter from a guy who didn’t even know about your silly little dream but somehow made it come true. 

He really cared about you and he wasn’t playing around. The contents of the letter had made his feelings about you incredibly clear and opened up your eyes to what you were missing out on. He was such a sweet, kind-hearted, and gentle person and you had him right at your fingertips. And you were about to push him away for good. 

You wiped your tears as you pulled out your phone from your pocket, pulling up Joe’s contact and hitting the call button. You prayed he would pick up, and he did.

“Hello?” He said, slightly breathless as he was in the middle of working out.  

“You’re an idiot,” you laughed through the tears. 

“Y/N?” He asked. 

“Yes, it’s me,” you sniffled. He remained quiet on the other end so you took it as a chance to finally reciprocate the feelings he had for you. 

“I got your letter and flowers,” you smiled.

“Yeah?” He asked, putting his dumbbell down and sitting on the workout bench. His stomach was in knots as he was anxious about what your response would be.

“Are you free tonight? I heard that the new sushi place downtown is to die for,” you giggled as you twirled your hair.

Joe’s face immediately lit up and his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He stayed silent for a few seconds to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and he sure as hell wasn’t.  “Yeah, I am. I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he says.

“It’s a date,” you say, biting your bottom lip, your stomach filled with butterflies and anticipation. It was finally your chance to get the boy.

After weeks of waiting and trying, Joe had finally won you over. He had finally won the trophy and ultimate prize which was you.

End of flashback 

Nobody had played the field for you like Joe had. You were pretty unlucky when it came to relationships but when you met Joe, everyone who was attempting to play the field just ended up warming the bench. He never gave anyone else a moment to try to win you over. Throughout the off-season, he was doing just about everything to win your heart and he was killing it. You were on a winning streak, up until you ruined it with your childish fears. 

“I just- I haven’t felt the way I feel with him in a long time and that scares the hell out of me. The last time I felt that way, I was so blinded by it and it got the best of me,” you replied, your stomach churning at the mention of your last relationship. 

“I understand that. But not every guy is going to take advantage of your love. Even though I’ve known you for a few months, I can see that you have so much love inside of you. I can see the love in your eyes for him. Don’t let your past get in the way of something promising and special,” she told you.

“You tell me something new he does for you and a new funny story about him literally every time I see you. You always have this radiant smile when you’re around him and this look in your eyes that most people would say only is seen in someone once every few lifetimes,” Jess adds as she points at your necklace.

“Like look at that. He basically told you it was you and him for infinity. He’s not going anywhere, trust me,” she laughs. “Don’t fight it,”. 

You take another deep breath and think about what she’s saying. She’s right. You and Joe had been together for 6 months and in those 6 months he never made you feel bad about yourself, he never made you feel neglected, and he definitely never made you feel unloved. He was different from everyone else and you loved him so much. It wasn’t his fault that the others hurt you so badly and you owed it to him to try. 

He was what you had been waiting for your entire life and now that you’d finally had it, you were so close to ruining it. He wasn’t like the others, not one bit. You loved everything about him and he loved everything about you. He showed you what real love felt like, and taught you how to love again. She was right, why should you fight it? You had struck gold with Joe. 

“I love him,” you realize, a smile creeping up your face. 

“There we go,” she says as she claps her hands together and falls back into the chair. 

“I really love him,” you repeat, wanting to scream it at the top of your lungs. 

“And I’m sure he would be incredibly happy to hear that,” she smiles. “Wait, you should come to the game on Sunday,” she 

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t I wait to talk to him until after this week's game?” You asked. 

“I have a feeling he’d be more than excited to see you at the game this week. Might give him that kick he needs to break out of whatever came over him this past 2 games,” she says. 

“Yeah, he has been a little off lately,” you frown. You didn’t know if it was because of you or his knee or something else, but something was off about him.

“If you decide to come, I’ll be waiting at the suite entrance since I know it would be your first time at a game,” 

“Maybe I’ll come around, it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen him,” you said. 

It was true, it had been so long since you’d seen him. And you missed him so much. You missed his little laugh, his silly jokes, his adorable smile, his beautiful eyes, his sexy morning voice, and most importantly, the warm and comforting feeling you got around him. 

“Mhm,” she replied. “You should wear his jersey too. I’m sure he’d love it,”.

Sunday — Paycor Stadium 

You walked into the stadium, taking a deep breath as you made it inside. You were wearing his jersey for the first time and were feeling a little nervous about the entire situation. You haven’t been to his game before, you haven’t even worn his jersey before, and you definitely didn’t know what the hell you were going to say to him once you saw him. You were so caught up in your head that you didn’t realize that you had walked over to the Suite entrance where Jess was waiting for you, just like she had said. 

“You made it!” She said as she pulled you in for a hug. “And your outfit looks so cute,” she adds, pointing out your jersey. You had put on the white bengal jersey, a vintage Bengals dad hat, and your favorite pair of jean shorts. And the cherry on top is your infinity necklace. 

“Yeah,” you said, a little frazzled because of the many thoughts floating through your head. 

She noticed your worried face and said, “Hey, don’t stress. It’ll be just fine, I promise,”. 

“I hope so,” you mumble. 

She turned her head around, looking to see if the hallway behind her was clear. “Joe won’t be able to come up here now, but that hallway leads straight to the tunnel and locker room entrance,” she says, fully implying that you should go down there and see him. 

A smile creeps up your face and you start playing with the infinity necklace around your neck. “Go get your boy,” she teases. 

She was right, time to stop being afraid. He was yours and you were his, there was no use fighting the alchemy. What’s meant to be, is meant to be, and you two were meant to be. 

You told her you’d be back in 10 or so minutes and made your way down the illustrious hallway. The walls were decorated with Bengals memorabilia, ranging from the beginning of the team and up to now. There were quite a few things on the walls about Joe, and seeing them made your heart full. 

You made your way down to the tunnel and locker room area, not sure where you should go from here. He did tell you a while back that family was allowed to be down here once in a while before or after the game, but you didn’t know where you should be. 

You took a peak at the field, seeing that there were a few players in their jerseys out there. “He must be getting ready to go out for some last-minute warmups before the walk-in,” you said to yourself. 

A sigh left your lips as you sat down on the bench across from the locker room entrance. You waited there for a few moments until you saw the door open, and out came Sam.

You immediately stood up and walked over to him and he noticed you instantly, “Oh- Hey Y/N! It’s great to see you. Jess told me you may be coming to the game so it’s great to see you here! How are you?” he asked. 

“I’m amazing Sam, Um, where’s Joe?” You said, getting straight to the point.

He chuckled and shook his head, “He should be coming out in a minute. Man, you two are definitely something,”.

Before you could ask him what he meant by that, he quickly cut you off because he had to go. “Anyways, I gotta go out there but good luck and enjoy your first in-person game,” he smiles as he puts his helmet on and starts to jog out. 

You say goodbye to him as you lean back against the wall. “Any minute now,” you whisper to yourself. 

A few minutes pass and you decide to go on your phone, seeing a few messages from Jess. She was letting you know that she was sitting inside the suite and grabbed you some food for when you got back. You were in the middle of sending her an update when you heard the door swing open. 3 men stepped out in their football gear and walked over to the tunnel, however, 1 stayed right in front of you. 

“Y/N?” the familiar voice asked. 

You looked up from your phone, and there he was. The man of your dreams, the person who made you feel cherished and safe.

“Joe,” was all you could say. The nerves you had been feeling for the past hour suddenly disappeared at the sight of him. 

He walked closer to you as you slipped your phone into your back pocket. His heart fluttered as he noticed you had his jersey on, but most importantly, you had the necklace on. 

“What are you doing-,” he said before you leaped into his arms, taking him by surprise which caused him to stumble back a little. 

“I’m so sorry. I am so so so so sooo sorry,” you said as you pushed your face into the crook of his neck. His arms hovered for a second before moving around your waist, holding you tightly. 

“For what?” he asked. 

You pulled your face out of his neck and met his eyes, “Everything. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere,” you said as you gazed lovingly into his eyes. 

“But that’s only if you still want me-,” you add before he leans down and pushes his lips against yours. God, you missed the feeling of his lips against yours.

You both pull away after a few seconds, “Does that answer your question?”.

You grin at his little gesture, “Absolutely,”.  

He pulls you back into him, swaying you back and forth for a little. “We can talk after the game? At least, that’s if you’re staying,”.

“You really think I would be wearing your jersey if I wasn’t here to watch you,”.

“Fair point,” he laughs. He looked out over at the field and saw a few of the staff looking for him. “I gotta go,”. 

You release yourself from his embrace, “Don’t wanna keep them waiting too long,” you giggle. “I’ll be up in the Burrow Suite, just like we talked about,”. 

Joe felt like melting in the moment. He still couldn’t believe you were here, in his jersey, and were about to watch him play. He was scared and thought that he had lost you for good after what happened but you proved him wrong. 

“I’ll be looking for you,” he says, giving you a look that tells you he means business. 

“And I’ll be there, I swear,” you salute. 

He pulls you back in for another hug, “God, I can’t believe you’re here right now,”.

“Well, get used to it. I think I’ll be letting them know to save a permanent seat for me up there,”.

“I’ll buy you a whole suite just for yourself if you want me to,” he jokes, only partly.

“Baby Steps, Joey. Baby steps,” you giggle. 

Your tender moment is soon interrupted by a training staff member walking by, “Joe, we need you out there. They wanna go over a few things before kick-off,”.

“I‘ll be there in a sec,” he says, still holding you. 

“You should probably go before they send out a search party,” you say as you look up at him.

“You’re probably right,” he laughs as he lets go of you. “I’ll see you after the game in the suite. Hope you have fun,” he smiles. 

“Oh I will,” you respond. Joe presses a kiss onto your cheek before walking towards the tunnel. 

“Wait,” you whisper to yourself. “Wait, Joe!” You yell as you speed walk over to him before he goes out. He quickly turns around, “What’s Wrong?”.

You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders before moving your face closer to his, pressing a warm kiss on his lips. 

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips after you pull away. His eyes widen at your words and his stomach does a backflip. “Knock ‘em dead, Shiesty,” you say as you press another kiss to his lips before walking back to the hallway that leads up to the Suites. He felt absolutely love-struck as he watched you walk away. You said it. You finally said it. 

“Damn,” He whispered to himself, a huge smile on his face.

An hour later

The game was going great. Joe was killing it and seemed to have snapped out of whatever came over him the past two weeks. It was the start of the fourth quarter, the Bengals leading 27-21, and you were having the time of your life. 

“This is so fucking fun,” you grin as you take another sip of your drink.

“Welcome to the football life my friend,” Jess laughs.

“He’s too good, he is TOO good,” you yell, slightly tipsy since you had a few drinks. You mental note to not drink stadium cocktails because they were so strong, and you were definitely feeling it. 

“Ooof, third down and this is a crucial spot,” you say, standing up and moving closer to the railing. 

“Let’s see how it goes,” Jess says, putting her drink down and joining you at the railing. You held your breath as you watched the play unfold. Joe took a few steps to the side and a little back and then moved around as the pocket collapsed. He found an opening and launched the ball down the field, all the way into the endzone, which was then caught by Ja’marr for the touchdown. 

The crowd erupted at Joe’s impressive movement considering his knee and the amazing throw. “Holy Shit! That was a Dime!” you screamed over to Jess as you jumped up and down. 

“Look down there!” she said as she shook your arm out of joy.

You looked down and saw Joe facing the suite, on a knee doing what looked like the ‘archer’ pose, and drawing back his bow and arrow. He smiled as he released the imaginary bow straight up at you. Everyone below you in the stands looked up to see what he was paying so close attention to and saw you.

“Awww,” Jess teased.

You moved your hand to your heart as if you were struck by the bow and stumbled back for dramatic effect, and he noticed. Everyone noticed. He waved at you as he got up and a blush rose on your cheeks. It was very clear that the sign on his heart was still reserved for you by his very public declaration of his love for you. If people hadn’t caught on that Joe Burrow had a girlfriend, they sure knew now. 

“I love you,” you mouthed to him as he took his helmet off. 

“I love you too,” he mouthed back, setting off fireworks in your heart. 

A few hours later

The game ended with the Bengals winning 37-24, and people were raving about how Joe was finally looking like himself again. You had the best time watching him absolutely tear it up. You were currently waiting for him to meet you in the suite, pure dopamine coursing through your veins after that electric game. 

You were staring out onto the empty field, taking in the feeling. The bright lights and the poster of Joe being lifted up over his friend’s heads after the win that sent them to the Super Bowl last year on the side of the stadium made this all start to feel real. This was going to be a common thing for you, you belonged here. 

You heard the door swing open, meaning Joe was finally here. You turned around and saw him standing there with the biggest smile on his face. You ran over and launched yourself into his arms, pressing maybe a dozen kisses around his face. 

“You did so good, Joe,” you say in between kisses. “I’m so proud of you,”.

“Thank You,” he laughs as he holds you closer, never wanting to let go now that he had you for good. “I needed that extra kick from the heroine from earlier,”.

“What Kick?” you asked, incredibly confused. 

He burst out laughing once he realized what you were thinking of. “Heroine with an e”, he jokes. “Ya know, a girl with extraordinary characteristics and a great way of going about things,”.

“And am I supposed to be the Heroine?” you said as you tilted your head.

“Yes Ma’am,” he nods.

“But what did I say that gave you the extra kick?” you asked, completely oblivious. 

“Oh, you know, the ‘L’ word,” he said.

You paused for a few seconds before shouting, “Oh, you mean love?” as you leaned back a little while Joe nodded. “Yup it is true, I love you! I loveeee you Joe Burrow!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. Normally you would never think of screaming in public like this, but it was a mostly empty stadium and empty suite. Just the two of you and you felt that feeling so strongly and this was the best way to let it out. 

“Are you drunk?” He laughs.

“Maybeee a little. Don’t get mad, those stadium cocktails are not for the weak,” you slur. “But that doesn’t make this any different, I still love you. Sober, Drunk, or High,”. 

“I love you,” he laughed before leaning in to press a deep kiss onto your pink lips which caused you to stumble back a little, his grip on your waist incredibly strong like he was never going to let go.

You both stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, chatting about the game and how he absolutely loved the feeling he got once he saw you sitting in his suite. And you telling him about how much fun you had at your first football game. 

“It was amazing,” you said as you both sat down on the couch in the corner. “I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life ,”. 

“I’m glad you had fun,” he grinned, reaching over and entwining your fingers.

“I’m so proud of you, I mean you really killed it. I know the last few games were tough and those clowns wouldn’t shut up about their stupid ‘burrow is overrated’ agenda, but you didn’t let that get to you. You went straight for the crown,”. 

Joe started laughing which made you a little confused. “What’s so funny?” you asked.

“Just laughing at the scene. I can’t believe you’re here right now and giving me a motivational speech about football,”. 

“We’ll get used to it Joe, I think I’m taking a permanent position as your personal cheerleader,” you say as you run your hand through his wet curls. 

“God, I love you,” he says, your smile dropping a little which he notices.

“Hey Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks while absentmindedly rubbing your hand to help you relax.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” you said while looking down at your feet.

“Hey, don’t say that,” he says as he squeezes your hand. “You’re here, that is what matters,”. 

“You’re right, I am,” you say as you look back up with a smile. “And I don’t ever plan on leaving. You are what I’ve been waiting for and I finally have what I’ve always wanted. Someone who really loves me and appreciates everything about me. Someone who gets me and makes me feel like I’m on Cloud 9,”.

“I’m done being afraid of Love. You’ve shown me what true love feels like and that you are not like the amateurs. You know exactly how to win a girl over and treat her like she is the most special person in the world,” 

“Not only that. You also have someone who is infatuated with you, thinks you’re the coolest girl in the world, the most gorgeous woman to grace the planet, and the most remarkable human being he has ever met,” he adds. 

You feel like a breath of fresh air just hit your face and like you could breathe again. It was going to be different this time. It was going to be different because of Joe. 

“I love you,” you said to him again.

“I will never get tired of hearing that,” he says as he moves his hand to cup your cheek.

“Good, I’ll never get tired of saying it,” you say as you move your hand onto his which is on your cheek. 

“I’m glad we just let things fall into place by itself,” he says. “Well, other than my many attempts to win you over in the beginning. But after I finally won you over, everything was natural. Even this moment,” he says as he moves his hand back to yours, once again entwining your fingers. 

“Yeah,” you nod. “Who are we to fight the alchemy?”.

“Alchemy?” He asks as he raises his eyebrow.

“Yup. Same thing as chemistry, but that’s too common of a word to describe this. Alchemy is rare and it’s magical. A kind of transformation that only happens once every few lifetimes,”. 

“You turned something broken and dull into gold,” you add. “Alchemy,”.

“Huh, I guess I should use the word Alchemy to describe us from now on,” he says while rubbing your thigh. 

You moved closer to his warm body and pressed a slow kiss onto his lips, “Sounds like a plan,”. The love inside of you quickly turned to lust at the sight of your boyfriend plus the alcohol in your system. He looked absolutely mouthwatering. His wet hair from his post game shower, his flowy black shorts, and his partially wet white tee was sending you into overdrive. 

“Did I mention how sexy you look wearing my jersey?” he teased as he looked down at your outfit.

“I mean, it is yours so technically you look sexy wearing it too,” you giggled. 

“Mmm, you make it look sexier,” he disagrees. 

The soft glow of the lamp next to the couch wrapped around you both as you sat on the couch with Joe. The tension between you was palpable, the desire simmering just beneath the surface. 

You finally accepted your love for Joe and he was yours. Now you could fully enjoy these moments with him without that nagging thought of getting your heart broken in the back of your mind. 

Without saying a word, he reached out and pulled you closer, his lips crashing against yours in a fierce and hungry kiss.

His hands roamed your body, igniting a fire within you that you couldn't control. The physical connection between you was extremely clear once again. You moaned into his mouth as his fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to him. Your bodies pressed together, the heat between you building with every passing second.

You straddled his lap, feeling the hard muscles of his chest beneath your fingertips as you ran your hands over his body, desperate for more. Joe's kisses were fierce and demanding, his passion evident in every touch.

Lost in the moment, you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as you became lost in each other. As the intensity of your passion grew, the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a heated embrace. And in that moment, nothing else mattered but the raw love you felt for each other.

You pulled away from the passionate kiss, breathless and your chest heaving. You looked into his ocean blue eyes which were filled with love and warmth and said, “I love you Joe Burrow, forever and ever,”. 

You weren’t scared anymore. You stopped fighting the alchemy and let the magical transformation happen just like it was supposed to. 

—The End—

[solxamber]

Can I get baker boy Trey realizing that his S/O is a super secret spy for another country. Yet, when confronted, said S/O admits that they faked their death to be with him.

Cocoa Conspiracy - Trey Clover x reader

He knew you as his partner, the love of his life, but he didn't realize your real identity: a spy vying for pastry destruction

Trey Clover wasn’t ready for this. He thought he was just dating you—the quirky, adorable, slightly unpredictable person who occasionally knew way too much about the inner workings of a high-tech security system. Sure, sometimes you went missing for a week without warning, but he figured you were probably just... really into nature hikes? Who was he to judge?

But now here he was, standing in the middle of his beloved kitchen, staring at a government-issued spy dossier that read like something out of a James Bond fever dream. The worst part? Your face was plastered all over it, right next to the words “Top Secret Agent: Wafflia.”

Wafflia.

He had to read it three times before it clicked. “Dear...” he began, holding up the papers like they were a particularly burnt batch of cookies. “Why does it say you’re an undercover agent sent by the nation of Wafflia to... sabotage the pastry industry? What is this?”

You, who had just casually walked in, munching on a muffin like it was a normal Wednesday, paused mid-chew. “Oh. Right. That.” You glanced at the folder in his hands like it was an old grocery receipt. “I, uh... meant to tell you about that.”

Trey blinked. “Tell me? You meant to tell me?”

You shrugged, your voice a little too nonchalant for someone who’d just been outed as a literal international spy. “Look, babe, I can explain—”

“Explain? You’ve been sent to ruin all pastries in Twisted Wonderland!” Trey threw up his hands, a little more animated than usual, which was saying something. “Pastries! My life revolves around pastries! Why didn’t you tell me you were some kind of... dessert assassin?!”

You chewed thoughtfully for a moment, as if considering the best way to let him down easy. “Well, first of all, ‘dessert assassin’ makes it sound way cooler than it actually is. I mean, it’s mostly paperwork. And second of all... I didn’t really take the mission seriously. I was distracted.”

“Distracted? By what, the buttercream frosting?” Trey snapped, incredulous.

“No, by you.” You rolled your eyes like it was obvious, casually finishing the muffin. “You know, because we’re dating. Thought that was kind of important.” You flicked a crumb off your shirt, as if this entire conversation wasn’t wildly absurd. “I couldn’t exactly go around destroying pastries when you bake this good. Do you even know how hard it is to sabotage a cake when it tastes like it was baked by an angel? It’s basically sabotage-proof.”

Trey blinked. “Wait. So, you’re telling me the only reason you haven’t followed through with your evil pastry-destroying mission is because... my desserts are too good?”

“Yup!” You gave him two enthusiastic thumbs up. “Honestly, if Wafflia tasted your cupcakes, they’d probably call the whole thing off.”

Trey’s eye twitched. “...Wafflia?”

“Tiny nation. Mostly waffles. A little maple syrup industry on the side. Really not a big deal.”

“You are literally a government agent from a country that declared war on bakeries!”

You sighed dramatically, as if he was the one overreacting here. “Yeah, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is that I faked my death to be with you.”

Trey stared at you like you had just slapped him with a pie. “You what.”

“I faked my death. Big explosion. Very cool. It was like something out of a Michael Bay movie, except with fewer explosions and way more sparkles. It’s kind of the Wafflian signature. Anyway, I’m legally dead now.” You leaned back against the counter, looking incredibly proud of yourself. “Did it all for you.”

Trey was about three seconds away from emotionally combusting. “You... faked... your death... so you could—”

“Ditch the life of a spy and bake tarts with you, obviously.” You grinned like this was all completely reasonable. “It’s called love, Trey.”

Trey had to sit down. He dragged a chair across the kitchen floor, the sound screeching in the sudden silence. He sat down heavily, trying to process the information bomb you had just dropped in his very innocent, pastry-filled kitchen. “So, let me get this straight. You were a secret spy for a country that wants to destroy desserts—the thing I care about most in the world—and you faked your death to... retire?”

“With you,” you corrected, grabbing a tart from the tray and taking a huge bite. “I mean, why else would I fake my death? Have you seen how good you look when you’re rolling out dough? I’m not giving that up.”

Trey blinked at you, his brain malfunctioning at the speed of light. “You—what—I just—how are you—”

You waved a hand dismissively. “Look, babe, relax. All I’m saying is, Wafflia thinks I’m dead, I think you’re hot, and your strawberry tarts are so good that I’ve basically retired from espionage to live out the dream with you. Problem solved.”

Trey opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, resembling a fish out of water. “...I don’t know if I should be flattered or horrified.”

“Why not both?” You waggled your eyebrows, licking the last of the tart crumbs off your fingers. “I’m flexible.”

Trey buried his face in his hands, groaning. “I just wanted to bake some bread. I didn’t sign up for all this—secret spy, faked your death, sabotage the pastry world—what even is this.”

You patted him on the back, still munching. “Hey, look on the bright side. At least I’m not sabotaging your desserts.”

Trey peeked at you from between his fingers. “And... what about other people’s desserts?”

You smirked. “Well... no promises. But I’ll probably keep it to a minimum. For you.”

He groaned louder.

I didn't know if you wanted it serious or silly, but i made it silly. let me know if you wanted it more serious!

Masterlist

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: september 2024

I'm turning in the reading roundup a little later than usual, but booooy not for lack of enthusiasm! September was such an interesting month for books, not least of all because you'll notice that things take a spooky turn towards the end of the month. in the name of whimsy I decided that October would be the perfect time to go on a themed reading kick and read through everything vaguely spooky, scary, or horror-related on my TBR, and then I thought, hey, why wait? Halloween is a state of mind, and I want to get spooked.

(have I been spooked yet? well... eh. but there's still time!)

my point being, if you want some creepy recs, hang tight because the October reading roundup is going to be great for you. in the meantime, here's what I read in September:

My Nemesis (Charmaine Craig, 2023) - cannot recommend this brief novel enough if you like very stylized prose about very insufferable people. Craig's protagonist is a memoirist who narrates her tale of woe exactly like she's writing a personal essay that's going to do numbers on twitter, intimate from a detached and analytical distance and giving the strong impression of a person who's made a living being intensely self-obsessed and can't quite manage to turn it off. it's a fascinating approach to a story about an emotionally overwhelming friendship destroying two marriages and ending in a woman's death, all without any actual adultery ever occurring. the narrator is consciously self-conscious, unreliable in the subtle and shifty way of someone trying to take exactly enough culpability to avoid being assigned more. it's a heavily interior novel, but Craig managed to keep me gasping with surprise here and there - the stomach-twisting reveal of why the narrator is actually telling her story, for one, as well as the revelation of the work within the novel that shares its name. if you like a tightly crafted character exercise, you're going to eat this up.

Raiders of the Lost Heart (Jo Segura, 2023) - this was the romance novel picked out via poll over on my patreon for September, and if I may be honest I was NOT excited! to my mind it was the dud of the group, the one amongst the four possibilities that I was most dreading. the garish cover, improbable plot summary, and blatant Indiana Jones of it all (the male love interest is literally named Ford) was a tremendous turn off, and you know what? I was wrong for that. Raiders ended up being one of the better romance novels I've read this year, and not JUST because I've been reading an endless parade of stinkers. the characters are largely free of manufactured drama and are instead believably and sympathetically rendered, with the female lead Corrie being a particular knockout; I would love to be her friend. the plot isn't nearly as cartoonish as the synopsis on the back of the book would have you believe, or at least most of it isn't; the silliness doesn't arrive until almost the very end, when Segura decides she needs some action movie stakes in here ASAP. and while the prose wasn't totally free of the genre's worst bullshit (stop reminding me that Ford's eyes are emerald, I beg), it was for the most part refreshingly no-nonsense. I wasn't even a chapter into this book when I found myself realizing I might really like it, and as of right now it's looking to claim the title of my favorite romance of 2024 in a landslide victory. having said that someone should be in thought crime prison for titling the sequel "Temple of Swoon."

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 11 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2022) - man you guys Dungeon Meshi is so fucking good. what the fuck. what the hell. it's so genuinely insane that Kui is still able to weave in elements of humor that feel so organic and natural to the characters at this absolutely dire point of the game, when all of my faves are actively in so much danger - largely FROM EACH OTHER - that I'm eating my fingers. christ. some of my students who are in an LGBT book club did Legends and Lattes last month and I just kept wanting to ask if anyone had read Dungeon Meshi for, you know, a very D&D-flavored story that's actually intensely interested in dissecting the tropes of the genre alongside race and class and xenophobia and the social rules of an adventurer heavy world but god. I couldn't. because it's not gay. like Senshi I just want to nourish the youngsters but I can't because it's not gay. please everyone for the love of god just read Dungeon Meshi.

The Most (Jessica Anthony, 2024) - I'm a simple man, and I added this tiny novel to my TBR based on a blurb that really gave me nothing but "a 60s housewife gets in the apartment complex's pool and refuses to get out and it freaks her husband right out." god forbid women do anything, right? anyway, at risk of showing my whole ass I think this is exactly the kind of "disaffected adultery and divorce" book that a lot of tumblr users claim to hate, and I fucking loved it. Anthony is a brilliantly sharp writer who paces her microcosmic drama perfectly, revealing everything at just the right moment like a practiced tour guide showing us around the shadowy corners of an aggressively ordinary marriage. I love adultery and I think this book in particular should be taught in writing courses. sue me.

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir (Akwaeke Emezi, 2021) - I think this year I've reread more books than I have any other year of my adult life, and I'm so glad that I took time to revisit Emezi's memoir. it's genuinely like nothing else I've ever read, one of the boldest and bravest things I've ever read. Emezi's account of godhood, of coming to understand themself as a deity trapped in flesh, is absolutely unwavering, completely grounded in their certainty of their truth and proceeding from there without ever worrying about persuading others to believe them. Emezi is a storyteller's storyteller, and their story doesn't need anyone's approval. but while it can be challenging, I wouldn't call the book confrontational. quite the opposite; in many places it's achingly vulnerable, as Emezi guides you through an unabashed tour of the very worst of their heartbreak, trauma, and alienation, and the times they've nearly succeeded in taking their own life. but god, please don't think this memoir is unrelenting misery. Emezi also speaks so, SO powerfully of opulence, of love, of the dedication to their artistry ad unabashed acknowledgement that they are a peerless talent. Emezi talks about magic of writing in a way that makes me feel like I'm being engulfed in golden-white flames; they make me want to transform myself into the artist I want to be. once again: I am an Emezi stan first and a person second forever.

The Beginning and End of Rape: Confronting Sexual Violence in Native America (Sarah Deer, 2015) - listen, I'll be straight up with you: unless you're exorbitantly interested in rape law, alternatives to carceral "justice," and legalese, this is going to be a very dry read, and there are not enough narrative segments to make up for that. for my money, Deer provides a thorough overview of the difficulties faced by American tribal nations in exercising legal power to prosecute and punish cases of sexual violence, despite the staggering levels of violence experienced by women in many Native communities. I really admired the intensely tempered view that Deer (a member of the Mvskokoe nation) brings to her work, discussing the history of Native approaches to sexual violence without pretending precolonial North America was a feminist utopia and offering thoughtful criticism of proposed substitutions to imprisonment. while the rape laws of any one of the 574 federally recognized tribes in the occupied lands of the United States could be a book on its own and Deer is constrained by the need to cover as much territory as she can in the broadest strokes possible, this is a solid primer to an ongoing social, spiritual, and legal issue that too rarely receives attention outside of Native communities.

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes (Erica LaRocca, 2022) - straight up I was only trying to read Things Have Gotten worse, LaRocca's somewhat infamous story of a lesbian relationship that goes extremely wrong extremely fast, but the only copy available through my library system came with two more of his short stories (the aforementioned Other Misfortunes). I'm going to save time on the two extra stories: one is an incomprehensible exercise in religious trauma and I did not like it, and the other one was silly because I, personally, simply would not get so trapped in a sense of social obligation that I let my neighbor do stupid riddles to be until I was in a guillotine. rip to that guy but I'm different. anyway, back to the star of the show. I made the mistake of browsing some other people's thoughts on Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and encountered a truly dizzying number of people whose takeaway seems to be that it's bad not for any stylistic reason but because it depicts two lesbians being in a relationship that's deranged and unhealthy, to which I say you should probably go watch Stephen Universe or something instead of looking for #goodrep in the horror short stories. christ. for my money, Things Have Gotten Worse is messy in the most delicious way, absolutely bonkers from start to finish. escalates pretty much instantly and refuses to let up for truly even a second. cannot believe the predatory mommy dom turns out to be the reasonable one in this dynamic, that one threw me for a loop. it's not incredible but god was I entertained.

Fledgling (Octavia E. Butler, 2005) - another reread, revisiting some of my favorite little freak vampires for the spooky season! although, honestly, the most spooky scary thing about Butler's vampires is probably that vampires look like an Aryan cult and some of them are turbo racist while the other ones insist that it's totally 100% impossible for vampires to be racist and the fact that this gets quite a lot of people killed, something that I'm sure is just a weird coincidence and not any kind of commentary that Butler was making on anything at all. what else is there to say? this is one of Butler's most elaborate explorations of inverted power dynamics, dropping codependent symbiotic sexy vampire polycule cults smack in the middle of the 21st century United States instead of on an alien planet or an apocalyptic wasteland just to really drive home how crazy this shit it. and it's delicious! I love it! what a deliciously different interpretation of vampirism. imagine the utopia we'd be living in if this was the vampire novel that had gotten big in 2005 instead of Twilight.

The Low, Low Woods (Carmen Maria Machado, Dani, and Tamra Bonvillain, 2020) - first I remembered that there are horror comics that I can include in my Octoberish reading, and then I remembered that creepy queen Carmen Maria Machado has published one with DC Comics' Black Label. The Low, Low Woods follows dirtbag teen lesbians Octavia and El in the burnt out coal mining town of Shudder to Think, a town where everyone knows that something's not quite right but no one can seem to leave. the story begins with El and Octavia waking up in a movie theater with no memory of a movie, realizing that they've lost time. the ensuing investigation takes them deep into the town's troubled history, and forces them to realize it's not just the supernatural preying on the town. I love creepy Appalachia and would definitely recommend this for any Old Gods of Appalachia fans, and I will say that so far this is the only one of the spooky reads to really get under my skin and give me a full-body shiver due to the sheer overwhelming awfulness of the implications Machado raises with the revelations in her story. I'm not usually one for trigger warnings in my little roundups, but I cannot emphasize enough that if you have a hard time reading about sexual violence, you'll probably want to skip this one.

The Icarus Girl (Helen Oyeyemi, 2005) - I've been meaning to get into Oyeyemi's large body of work (in part because Akwaeke Emezi speaks quite highly of her) and where better to start than with her debut novel? and why not now, since it was tagged as horror? ultimately I'd concede that the book is creepy but don't know if I'd quite consider myself horrified, and that's completely fine since it's an astonishing piece of prose regardless. writing a believable eight year old narrator of an adult novel is a tricky thing, but Oyeyemi pulls it off beautifully with protagonist Jessamy, effortlessly selling her as an insightful, anxious, and intelligent girl who's still utterly believable as a child. the Icarus Girl revels in the same kind of "powerless child" horror as Gaiman's Ocean at the End of the Lane, following the lonely Jessamy as she initially is befriended and then tormented by a mysterious and powerful little girl that she meets while visiting her mother's family in Nigeria. as her new friends gets increasingly malevolent and out of control, Jess struggles to account for the damage and to be taken seriously by her parents when she tries to explain what's wrong. Oyeyemi apparently wrote this book when she was only a teenager, and if she's been leveling up her craft with each subsequent novel then I have a lot of look forward to.

[tending-the-hearth]

my personal favorite parts of "transformers one"

warning for MAJOR spoilers below!!! a theater near me was doing an early access screening, the movie is officially coming out september 20 in the us!

first off getting the obvious out of the way with Megatron and Optimus' friendship, obviously we know what happens but when a movie with a clear eventual villain that's been iconic for years makes me hope it retcons everything that has ever happened so two characters can remain friends???? their friendship was EVERYTHING to me

also very happy to see that Optimus is still such a nerd i love him

i did love the little subtle hints with Optimus and Megatron's differences from the start

Elita and Optimus' moments together were my FAVORITES

JAZZ!!!!! BELOVED BELOVED DARLING!!!!!! LOML!!!!!

AND RATCHET MENTION!!!!!!! DR. HATCHET MY BELOVED

I like that they didn't try to hide the fact that Sentinel was not a good guy. Like he was just so skeevy from the start, but they built it up in a way that still felt intense when his betrayal was revealed

Bee <3 he's so silly <3 favorite guy <3

Also the AA-Tron joke was 100% a reference to the A-A-Ron skit which had me cackling

The immediately big brother-little brother connection between Optimus and Bee?????? cries

ughhhhhh Megatron's shift from wanting to help Cybertron with Optimus to just wanting revenge

and Megatron's view being "one person controls everyone" and Optimus' being "all are one" IT'S SO GOOD

AND THE OPTIC COLOR SHIFT!!!!! OPTIMUS' ALWAYS BEING BLUE BUT MEGATRON'S STARTING AS YELLOW THEN SHIFTING TO ORANGE AFTER FIGHTING STARSCREAM THEN TURNING COMPLETELY RED WHEN HE LETS OPTIMUS GO I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

Bee's excitement about the knife hands and Optimus being excited for him!!! They are siblings!!!

also a crime that i haven't mentioned Bee saying "Badassatron" multiple times every time it happened i just lost it

but also love love love transformers and their "someone will die" trope i was expecting the Optimus death 100% but it still was SO good

I also loved how Optimus' voice became more and more sterotypically "Optimus" as he went through his journey, like he started off very goofy and silly, then after getting his cog from Alpha Trion we start to hear more of how we're used to hearing Optimus, then after he's brought back by the Primes it's pretty much a very strong younger version of Peter Cullen's Optimus

the VAs were actually really impressive for the most part. I thought Chris Hemsworth did a fantastic job as Optimus, putting in just enough of a similar inflection as Peter Cullen's voice that it still felt like Optimus, just younger

Brian Tyree Henry DESTROYED me as Megatron, his vocal change through the movie???? emotionally devestating

Keegan Michael Key is one of my favorite Bumblebee voices tbh <3 especially considering we've only gotten a few iterations where Bee actually talks, so it worked for him since he could make it his own

absolutely 10/10 movie, i will be going back to see it next weekend when it's officially out because i'm obsessed

[lovelykil]

Can I request jealous/ possessive hcs for killua :]

headcanons─

: ➛ killua

hc; jealous/ possessive kil

cw; none

note; YES ofc the way I have a few songs in mind that remind me of him when he's like this 🤗🎀

“but you're supposed to be mine..”

okay there's a total difference when he's jealous and when he's possessive.

when he's jealous he obviously doesn't like the person, doesn't talk much but observe them.

glaring at them, figuring out what their deal was and why were they so talkative with you.

kil came from a broken home, raised to be a cold-hearted intelligent assassin. Nothing more nothing less

affection and feelings were nothing he was familiar with. So he doesn't really know why he feels threatened by this individual.

being his partner doesn't make it any better, in fact it makes it so much worse. He feels a lot of negative emotions, fear you may leave him because he's not emotionally stable enough, or something small like the way he can't take affection well so he doesn't hug you kiss you much.

he over thinks alot when he's jealous, shuts off and flat-out ignores you all day.

he shakes off your caring hand when you land it on his shoulder, next to him in bed. Lost in his own mucked-up tangled thoughts that you can't really do much of so you leave him alone for the night.

his jealousy reminds me of that one meme or I mean like that movie where it's like

"you're supposed to be my lab partner"

"I am.."

"no you're not, you're disloyal."

he starts doubting himself, doubting he even is worth being with you

oh gosh it's such a shitty ordeal for him 🙁

if you expected the whole 'pulls you by the waist when he's jealous' type shi you are SOO wrong 🧏🏾‍♀️

if he can't even express his feelings what makes you think he can do such a gesture

he may wrap his arm around your neck, and glare at the person coldly, his eyes darkening, telling you its time to go.. but other than that

I don't think he would really do such a thing, he's the stare-and-watch-with-anger type of jealous guy 😣

now possessive killua ,,

he definitely goes out of his way to kill anyone he feels weary of. And even if he was wrong he shrugs it off, at least they won't be much of a problem for him anymore.

his love for you is like a never ending fire, the flames keep on growing taller the fire itself growing wider. And anyone who dares to step inside burns slowly to their end, as he watches with the fire reflecting off his sapphire eyes, capturing his ominous true intentions.

feels the need to keep you closer than ever just so he knows who you talk to and where you go.

and if he can't be around you all the time he usually freaks out, texts you like crazy

reassurance is something he is soo adamant about !!! I've said this before but IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN

for when he's jealous and possessive one works better than the other though.

when he's jelly the reassurance makes him feel alot better, he apologizes for his rash behavior and hopes for some soothing affection. he's like a cute kitty, snuggling into your neck.

but when he's possessive he still apologizes for how he was acting, giving you a so innocent smile but underneath that cover up smile laid a horrendous, muckey, ominous monster of possessiveness, black and twisted. And would go out of its way to destroy anyone who dared to look at you in such a way or touch you.. hell even both

like I said came from a broken home, doesn't really know how take control of his feelings 🤷🏾‍♀️

plus raised to be assassin so makes the killing alot easier, doesn't really think much except you

only he can take your hand, give you gifts, touch you, talk to you

your his, and only his

aren't you?

this sounds a little yandere 💔

he's so silly guysssssssss ( ≧∀≦)ノ

he's done nothing wrong but steal many hearts (literally)

[camilaxmartin]

i need to ramble, so-

AGATHA ALL ALONG EPISODE 4 SPOILERS AHEAD

OKAY LET ME START WITH THE FACT HOW AMAZING THIS EPISODE WAS??? I DONT WANT TO SAY IT IS MY FAVOURITE BUT LIKE- IT MIGHT BE.

THE VIBES THE OUTFITS????

okay okay calm down.

RIO CRAWLING OUT OF THE GROUND AND THEN SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT BEING PULLED DOWN OR UP WAS RAAAAH AMAZING I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS. I STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD

THE WHOLE MUSIC BOOT SCENE? GOD. THE WAY RIO CARESSED AGATHA’S THIGH AND HER UNDER STOMACH???? HELP ME LORD

I WAS LITERALLY GOING INSANE STILL AM

OKAY OKAY

THE SCENE WITH THE BALLAD WHEN ALL OF THEM WERE SO INTO SINGING AND EVEN TEEN OH. MY. LORD. I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING AT IT FROM ALL OF THE EMOTIONS CAUSE LORD I FELT IT IN MY VEINS LITERALLY. IT WAS SO POWERFUL I WAS LITERALLY STARING AT THE SCREEN WITH MY MOUTH HANGING OPEN. I LOVED IT. IF I EVER DIE PLAY THIS AND IM GONNA COME BACK TO LIFE I SWEAR.

(i love how alice was so into it at the end and destroyed the curse i LOVE HER)

I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WAY AGATHA CARES FOR TEEN. I KNOW SHE THINKS ITS NICHOLAS BUT I JUST FIND IT SO SWEET SHES LITERALLY SO RAAAH LIKE???!! I LOVE SOFT AGATHA FOR LIFE SORRY NOT SORRY. THE WAY SHE WAS PUSHING HIM AWAY WHILE THE CURSE WAS FLOATING AROUND THEM??? THE WAY HER VOICE WAS SO SOFT AND UNSTEADY WHEN SHE LITERALLY BEGGED JEN TO DO SOMETHING TO SAVE HIM??? MY GIRL WAS STRESSING AND SO WAS I (i love him more than my life) THE WAY AGATHA SAT AND WAITED WITH HIM ALL THAT TIME FOR HIM TO WAKE UP?? TO MAKE SURE HES OKAY???

IM SO GLAD HES OKAY LIKE I DIDNT THINK HE WOULD DIE BUT I WAS STILL STRESSED AND SCARED FOR HIM.

okay now,

THE HUG???? IT FELT SO PERSONAL SO PURE SO FUCKING SAFE SO SOFT SO VULNERABLE. I LOVE MY SILLY LESBIANS OH GOD. THE ALMOST KISS?? I LOVE HOW RIO DIDNT WANT HER TO KISS HER SO SHE WOULDN’T THINK LIKE EVERYTHING IS OKAY WITH NICHOLAS. LIKE IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT FOR HER TO TELL AGATHA IT IS IN FACT NOT HER SON THAN GETTING TO KISS HER ONCE MORE. MY GIRL RIO IS STILL FUCKING SOFT AND GENUINE AND GOD I AM LIVING FOR IT. (i hope we get a kiss by the end of the series but literally it is enough for me even now) I NEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT THAT HUG CAUSE IT LITERALLY GRIPPED MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST STROKED IT AND PUT IT BACK. GOSH IT WAS AMAZING. THE SOFT GESTURES OF AGATHA’S HANDS ON THE BACK OF RIO’S HEAD???? OH IM FUCKING COOKED.

AND I WAS SO STRESSING ABOUT LILIA TOO LIKE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO HER PLEASE I NEED HER TO SURVIVE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. SHES MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WITCH OKAY. I LOVE HER.

TO SUM UP I WAS LITERALLY GRIPPING MY SKIN FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE AND BESIDE THE PREVIOUS ONE I CANT REMEMBER A TIME THAT A SERIES OR A MOVIE DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME (the previous one did it a bit less intensely) I AM LIVING FOR THIS SERIES AND I HOPE ITS GONNA HAVE AN ENDING THAT WONT DESTROY ME EMOTIONALLY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. WHICH MOST LIKELY WONT HAPPEN CAUSE WE KNOW HOW IT IS WITH MARVEL. 10/10 OBVIOUSLY I WAS STRESSING SWEATING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. STILL AM.

(i might add something later when i’m gonna need to ramble more/again)

[galactic-rhea]

Did you have any foreknowledge that Anakin would become Darth Vader? I feel like even if you had Revenge of the Sith must have been quite an experience

Lmao I didn't know that until I came across this gif here in tumblr:

'oh damn'

That said, because of that gif, I did know he was going to be one of the most iconic and recognizeable villains of cinema by the time I started to watch the movies. But, my knowledge of what would happen was very, very narrow, I was very in the dark about it lol

Is easier to point out the things that I knew when starting the movies than the ones I didn't:

-He would lose his limbs (I did not know how, I didn't know he literally burned. And I only knew that he loses his limbs because my partner )

-He kills kids (and that I knew just because a meme that my hubby had to explain to me, but I didn't know the circumstances. In fact, what I pictured was much worse LOL)

-He kills(? Padmé (I asked my hubby if he and Padmé divorced, and he just decided to throw that spoiler at me like "no, he kills her accidentally" without further context and I was like...oh woah okay...I...generally don't like villains that kill their wives but i'll still check that out)

-Samuel L. Jackson is in these movies! :D

-HE IS LUKE'S FATHER OMG OMG AND IS TWINS OMG LEIA?? ...Wait don't Leia and Luke kiss- Oh okay

And sufficient to say: ROTS still destroyed me emotionally, what a trip. But I had a blast watching these movies, and it was also a blast watching the Original Trilogy after that! I was so, so stunned about the end of ROTJ, because seriously I always thought Luke kills Vader even when my interest on SW was below zero.

And no, I still don't know how at 24 i managed to know so little about Star Wars SJNKJNSDF

What I thought would happen in these movies was that my guy here was going to be just this cool merciless villain from about the get-go and we would just met him as an adult already. Like, he would be this dark jedi working by himself ruining the order from the inside, going into murders on weekends and blame someone else for fun, the war would be his doing, and being creepy towards everyone included his wife was probably his hobby, idk, you get it, your basic 'cool lonely villain', like maybe a Sauron of sorts.

And then George Lucas tackled me with... this

Hey, I'm not complaining.

My hiperfixation on Anakin and Star Wars helped me a lot with my depression, truth be told!

[pianokantzart]

Do you think Bowser deserves to be redeemed in the sequel? I personally don’t think he deserves it at all. The guy attempted mass genocide. There ain’t no going back from that yet I’ve seen fans who genuinely believe that Mario and friends would just instantly forgive Bowser despite everything he’s done. Not to mention how extremely out of character it would be for Bowser to have a change of heart especially the movie version of him who is literally pure evil.

Mario and his friends are pretty forgiving, but you're right. In the movie verse, to instantly forgive Bowser after everything he did would be nothing short of ridiculous.

I don't see Movie Bowser changing anytime soon. He's dedicated too much time and resources to threatening and destroying the lives of everyone around him, and I for one don't mind if he stays just as he is. I love me a straightforward, unambiguous villain who is evil through and through and isn't shy about it.

However, I do know one character that, if introduced, would complicate Bowser and his relationship with the main cast, and that's this guy right here:

Though it's unconfirmed whether Bowser Junior is part of the movie universe, we know Bowser in the games... while not a perfect dad... is definitely a kind and loving father.

I can see Movie Bowser having a soft spot for his kid while still being steadfast in his plans to conquer the world and crush anyone who gets in his way. He's a terrible influence who keeps his distance due to the dangers of the battlefield, but he would gladly fight anyone to the death if it would guarantee Junior a bright future. If Junior got involved in the feud– probably due to his father's imprisonment in The Mushroom Kingdom –it would definitely make things a bit more emotionally conflicting for the protagonists. Ridding the world of a threatening tyrant is one thing, robbing a young kid of a dad who loves him is another, but you can't lose sight of the fact that the entire world is at stake.

On the flip side, I can see Bowser Jr. being the one avenue by which Bowser finds himself willing to extend some form of mercy. If Mario and Luigi put themselves on the line to ensure Junior doesn't get hurt, or Junior gets emotionally attached to one of the Mario Bros, I can see Bowser having a very very very slight change of heart.

Not a complete character turnaround, but a willingness to step back and say "forget it. I'll kill you another day."

[wheregoodthingsthrive]

💚Legendary

The headshots obviously aren’t done but I gotta get the Broly brainrot out somehow, even if it’s premature in production. So expect finished ones soon.

A side tangent☝🏼🤓

I love DBS Broly. Designs go hard and are sleek, animation is sick, soundtrack leaves no crumbs, fight choreography is fun. But man the original DBZ movie just has a vibe that cannot be achieved again by DBS and while I do think that’s majorly to do with Toriyama not writing the OG movie, I also just think it’s due to the course DB has taken overall.

I’m glad Toriyama got the chance to write Broly more according to his liking in DBS Broly 2018 but man…the vibe of this film is immaculate. It’s surprising grungy and desolate by DB standards.

The usage of color, imagery, dramatically opposed shots (composition, heights, directions, etc.), and music really make for a good (despite its problems) film that feels thematically, tonally, and weightily different. While you know Goku and Gang are going to make it out alive and all the Roshi/Oolong shenanigans are going on, there is still tension and weight. Broly’s “how much do you love your son” line haunts me in my bored-mid-lecture-thoughts.

As much as I do love Broly in DBS being kinda a tortured sweetheart with a sweet tooth for violence, I find DBZ Broly to be much more compelling. The vibe I got was very much “uncontrollable, wrathful god trapped in a sensitive, underdeveloped emotionally body.” And I feel this is conveyed well in the screentime devoted to the disturbing but valuable time spent between Paragus and Broly whilst in exile from a destroyed Vegetasei. Additionally, having a backstory marred by more corruption than just “well King Vegeta said so” and having on screen attempted infanticide is So. Much. More. Vile.

Broly’s characterization as a deity wolf in Saiyan sheep’s clothing (a fault that is not his) is dangerously appealing. I hate that TFS won out and dominates fandom perception of Broly’s trigger regarding Goku— it makes the whole point of crying being the backdrop to Broly’s early suffering moot for humors sake. 0/10. But if you push past that bs, Broly is SO FASCINATING.

I think another fascinating element of the Legendary Super Saiyan that got lost a little in DBS is Broly’s consciousness. While him going basically non verbal Oozaru mode is still captivating, I think a Broly that jeers, snaps, comments, and berates his opponents creates a more interesting fighting dichotomy. Screaming gets boring after a lil while.

Anyways I just wanted to praise DBZ Broly and gush about some of its facets on a surface level. Maybe I’ll go deeper one day. Oh well. Enjoy the art. Another opinion in the tags below💚🫡

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Laraine Day (Foreign Correspondent, Mr. Lucky)—no propaganda submitted

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Laraine Day:

Lauren Bacall:

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

"A gorgeous lady inside and out. One half of an absolute power couple with Humphrey Bogart, tended to him and other actors suffering from malaria whilst filming the African Queen, generally radiated grace and poise throughout her life. Also her last role was in Family Guy so she needs justice for that"

"HER VOICE. Like yeah, she was absolutely stunning but oh my god, I'm obsessed with her voice"

"She was stunning. Tall and beautiful with a distinctive voice and able to carry her own in a male dominated field. She won the heart of millions, including one of Hollywood's most iconic leading men, Humphrey Bogart. Their story was the stuff of legends, and the chemistry between them was apparent in the multiple films they started in together. She personified the film noir dame and yet she also adapted as Hollywood changed. Her career spanned decades, and she was honored multiple times."

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

[palettepainter]

SPOILERS: The Wild Robot

So usually I'd post this sort of thing on Twitter, but considering how well that ship is staying afloat with the new changes coming in, including the changes made to the block feature, I'm trying to gradually distance myself from that app, so I'm posting this here

I went into this movie completely blind, I somehow managed to dodge spoilers for about a month after the movies release in the US, and if you're reading this and have also managed to stay spoiler free and haven't seen the movie: go and watch it spoiler free.

Don't look up anything, please don't read this post, go and watch it with a fresh set of eyes with no knowledge

The last movie I cried at was Inside Out 2, and I was told that this movie was a tear jerker, most people I'd seen posting fanart had said they'd also cried during this movie

I haven't cried this hard from a movie since 2014, when HTTYD 2 came out in cinemas.

I was not expecting The Wild Robot to be such an emotionally moving story, a story which at a basic glance is a pretty easy one to understand: robot overcomes it's programming and understands emotion, it's a trope we all more or less know or have seen used in other media (doesn't necessarily have to be with a robot, just with any character that doesn't quite understand emotions). Three minutes into this movie and I was in awe at it's visuals, it's colours, it's lighting, everything

Roz is instantly such a likeable character, and her line of "Did anybody order me?..." is delivered so well and hits surprisingly deep. The scene where she finds Bright Bill as an egg after she accidentally destroyed his nest genuinely had me shocked, and the part where she holds up the wing of Bright Bills parent who died from the crash had my mouth falling open - I knew there would be parts in this movie that would be deep based on how everyone said this movie was a tear jerker, but I didn't expect the theme of death to be introduced so quickly

Fink was probably the most surprising character out of all from this movie. I didn't really think too much of Fink going into this movie and I assumed out of him, Roz and Bright Bill, that he was going to be my least favourite of the trio. But he has some of the most deepest, realest bits of dialogue out of the whole film

When Roz asks him how he knows so much about love, and he replies with "when you go so long without something, you spend a lot of time thinking about it" (something like this, this isn't word for word) is such a devastatingly relatable line. And then towards the end of the movie, when Roz is saying goodbye, and Fink admits that she's his friend, following it up with "what if I need to talk to you?" is the possibly the most realest thing said in this entire movie

And the song played over the end credits - which by the way, don't look up any of the songs either. I remember the end credits song the most and is by far the best one to me, but the soundtrack to this movie is also incredible - proceeded to have me choking up with tears a third time

The Wild Robot is a masterpiece. Emotionally moving, heart warming, bittersweet, and a visual gem

[riverofrainbows]

Ok so the black book episode.

I finally watched it.

It could have done with a double feature. There was so much going on. And it worked, emotionally, but it was a lot. The plot was so fucking condensed.

Fuck when they do something they do it right, don't they. The deaths of the three were fucking harrowing. No fanfare or dramatics, just realistic and dead.

I'm so goddamn impressed by Sophie playing 12 different people. I love her. I know she gets a lot of recognition, but she deserves some more. Holy shit her voice training skills must be off the rocks.

I thought they would have hired Quinn for the police officer, he looked kind of similar, and then i thought it was him and Tara. But with Sophie being on phone theatre, of course Nate was free.

I wonder how fast Sterling figured it out. I think about half a minute into the room with Nate. The rest was just playing along, and hesitating whether to actually go through with the con, while setting up an outcome for both decisions. Usually i really don't think he has it all immediately figured out, but usually he isn't at quite that high alert, and the target isn't that clear and big a deal.

It really should have been a double feature, or a movie length episode. There needed to be more time, to really lay it all out.

I like what they used as the contents and method of collection for the black book. I watched another show (can't remember which) where it was some unsourced collection of various evil people, and that was soo shady and frustrating.

I've come across a bunch of Sterling/Nate shipping by now, and I'm starting to agree. Like that is genuinely a love story for the ages. However i am firmly convinced that it is entirely mental and intellectual. I just really can't see them having any relationship type. Not that Sterling wouldn't fuck Nate but that's just Mark Sheppard's insane gay flirting aura. But mentally, those two are having mind sex, and are tragic soulmate lovers. Also because they have divorced vibes. I'm convinced of the headcanon that they were in a couple friendship driven/held up by their wives socialising, and played 6d time travel chess mind games over barbecue (aka having a mind sex love affair right in front of the salad) (but really low key because they wouldn't actually cheat on their wives).

The way the con failed and they died was really realistic and well done and really stressed me out :(((( not over that.

Also the way this confirmed the Hardison-Eliot ship (platonic or romantic) was. Very much canon thank you. Not to mention the "till my dying day". Like hello??? Also the ice cave and rundown job train scene having already confirmed the depth of Eliot-Parker's bond earlier in the season. (But toxic masculinity and being a show from 2009 impeding the Hardison-Eliot part till the last episode/them dying (rituals to touch other mens skin etc etc flashbacks to superhell love confession sth sth bury your gays (except they lived bitch)).

Also the setup with "do you think you could live a normal life" earlier in the season. Also², annotation to that one: Eliot talking about having to help Hardison's restaurant, as if Hardison didn't buy it for him.

I liked the part about order vs justice. Very 'keeping the peace with an abusive person causing more harm than upsetting status quo'.

It's a good ending for a show. Seriously, it's both end of an era and not destroying everything that was before. Still glad we got leverage redemption tho obviously.

Parker being the new mastermind is great

Her monologue ajsbsjjd. I was cackling so bad. It was a fantastic way to really cinematographically tie up the show though, and she is great for the job. Both Hardison (who already has enough to do) and Eliot (who really doesn't like leading) always get way too deep into stuff, including their respective jobs for it, which is one reason why they're so good though don't get me wrong.

Why did she have slicked back hair with no bangs, and weird eyeshadow :( Awful 1/10. One point for her clearly thinking she needs to put on hair gel for stepping into a Nate role for a con, like that is exactly a logic she would have.

Eliot's blue tinted glasses, love it.

I like that they're not having one of the guys do it just for misogyny reasons, and that at the same time her doing it is very well supported and set up by their characterisations, and not as some sort of disrespectful shoehorned girlboss feminism move. Which ends up with a woman being the new mastermind being actually well done too. Because they never do annoying stereotypes at leverage, and thank fuck for that.

I love that Sterling was there for the last episode. Also, i swear, getting used by Nate for a con (while getting something out of it himself) is a kink thing for him. It happens genuinely almost every goddamn time we see him, while he knows and actively plays along.

I want to see more of Sophies telephone theatre :(

How the fuck did they fake the car accident, they should have shown sth on it.

Only because i knew very securely that they were fine did i not get completely freaked out at Hardison lying there on the ground. And i never ever want to see Eliot gargle up blood ever again. :((((

I was 100% convinced that Parker can hold him with just one hand, i was so shocked. Honestly one of the first clues from the story itself that it was fake. Yes i have that much trust in her. Second clue was the balloon.

No actually, first clue was Nate looking at the cameras. Can't remember which first clue came first in the episode.

I thought Nate gave Sterling something when he distracted him from the trio, and clearly Sterling also thought so, he probably took like several seconds to check if he had gotten anything slipped into his pockets afterwards.

I wish we could have seen more of the "you lied to us?" conversation at the end. Not that that wasn't the tldr of it or needed change, but i want to see the whole conversation.

The tunnels were great. I again wish to have gotten even a crumb more information on that.

It might have done well, and I'm just throwing out ideas here, to be a two parter episode, they could have really used some extra space. The plot was really condensed.

It was q good episode, and a very good ending, something oh so rare in tv shows.