[7]
Ok the narrative takes a bit of a turn towards ideas like suicidal ideation, so if you don’t want to deal with that today you can safely avoid this post. The pages are safely under the Read More.
There's also blood.
See this is the other thing that undoes the Cardcaptor Sakura dance - I don’t think CLAMP would write that Cardcaptor Sakura was murdered. It’s just a bit dark for what the series is.
I call shenanigans. Something else is at play here that will make sense later, but for now CLAMP are cackling as they watch at least some of the fandom 15 years ago genuinely believe that Cardcaptor Sakura and Syaoran grew up to be murdered by Evil Wolverine. IT’S SHENANIGANS.
OH.
OH, poor Watanuki.
He doesn’t properly remember but on some level he blamed his own existence for the death of his parents, and felt that he didn’t deserve to live after that. That explains a lot about the version of Watanuki that Doumeki saw in the past - he wasn’t just alone, he was alone and genuinely thought he didn’t want to be alive anymore, because of what his existence has caused.
It’s so heartbreaking I don’t even know what to say about that.
Except that the difference lies in the detail of him being so attractive to spirits because of all the dark hurt inside him. When we first meet Watanuki he is hounded by spirits, even without his memory, because his body remembers and his heart is still broken he becomes self-sacrificing as a result.
UNTIL things start to change. We heard in the previous chapters that Watanuki doesn’t see spirits like that as much anymore. He has begun to heal. He isn't alone anymore. He doesn't think he would be better off never existing, and knows that there are people who are happier now that he exists.
Watanuki has decided to keep living, and so the pain the spirits found so delicious is nowhere near as strong as it was before.
It’s so interesting to me that his character arc matches the supernatural arc around his existence. ‘He wasn’t supposed to exist and was meant to disappear’ becomes ‘he has a place he is loved and that sustains him’ - and ‘he wanted to die from guilt’ becomes ‘he wants to live for the people he loves now’. It’s a wonderful parallel arc that you can’t even spot happening until afterwards, because even Watanuki himself doesn’t know it's happening.
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🏳️⚧️ DOUBLE HEADCANON ATTACK!!! 🏳️⚧️
Family HCs are already fun on their own but with transness added on they're even better. It's actual comedy gold. Also I've always wanted to draw some kind of Meta Knight VS Galacta Knight type thing, but I can't take anything seriously like that. So you get This.
What This is, is a way too high effort shitpost. It took a combined 2 and a half? Days, though most of it was just sketching. I'm proud of it! Anything for the bit.
Textless version + unfinished doodle under the cut
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