#I know some ace and aro people like those sorts of things

[peach-pot]

you know when someone complains about people being lazy and not working hard enough, and then tacks on a “except people who are depressed or something, they’re different”? how its still shitty to hear someone say even with that little asterix? that’s how I feel when there’s a joke putting down someone who doesn’t have sex/doesn’t have a partner and people tack on a “ace and aro people are the exception” type of comment.

[gay-dorito-dust]

could you do asexual reader x Jason Todd headcanons?

I know this hdc won’t resonate for most in the ace community, cuz it’s a spectrum, but I hopes it at least resonates with some, even if it’s one person. That’s more enough for me. (Also sorry for the shit writing as usual)

Jason doesn’t mind that you’re asexual. You were still you at the end of the day, so he doesn’t understand why some people tend to make a big deal out of it.

It’s not like you being asexual was hurting anyone but he guessed that some people just harbour vast amounts of hate for things they don’t/refuse to understand bc they’ve been conditioned into thinking that it’s a bad thing.

Others are just cunts that Jason gladly beats the piss out of in your honour. (Acephobes plz die disrespectfully thanks)

He will not tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you and needless to say having a six foot something man who’s built like an absolute tank is enough to silence those types of people rather quickly.

He’s more then willing to do this for anyone that you knew who was ace, aro, or was in the LGBTQIA community in general, that he becomes a someone that a lot of them could come to when in need of help, or was just in need of a safe space.

He’s unbothered by it because as long as he’s helping someone in need, he’s more than willing to offer his shoulder for them to cry on.

(I just like the idea of Jason being a protector of LGBTQIA youths.)

After all he once took joy in beating the absolute piss out of a biphobe for Tim. Sure he may not have a great relationship with his siblings, but he’s not one to ignore when they’re being treated like shit for being who they were.

He respects your boundaries and will always ask whether or not it was okay for him to kiss you, to which you’d always have to tell him that it was more then okay for him to kiss you.

He understands that asexuality was a spectrum and would ask which part of the spectrum you were apart of, and acts in accordance to make sure that you’re more than comfortable in your relationship.

He’s always finding ways to constantly learn about asexuality and more. He’s even got a whole bookshelf dedicated to LGBTQIA history because he wants to better himself and do right by you and other people who look up to him to protect them. He takes that shit seriously.

He just loves you very much and wants you to feel as though you could tell him anything that’s bothering you and he’ll gladly bring you its head if you’d like just to prove it.

If you are okay with kisses and the like, be prepared to be swarmed by it at every possible opportunity with this teddy bear, for he will smother your face in kisses as he holds you against him, smiling upon hearing you laugh and poor attempts in pushing him away. It’s a highlight of his day because when you’re happy, he’s happy.

You don’t like sex? That’s okay! He’ll make you have Junk food dates with him where you stuff your faces either pizza with stuffed crust (you can eat it in reverse) and garlic bread and watch shitty movies as you cuddle on the couch.

You: you don’t think I’m broken?

Jason; no. Why, who’s told you that you were broken because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’re the most important person in my life and I’d do just about anything for you, no matter how big or small it may seem because at the end of the day I want to see you happy. So listen to me sweetheart and listen good, you are not broken. You are perfection incarnate in my eyes, you are everything I could’ve hoped to have by my side for you’ve never judged me, so I don’t see why I should judge you for being your truest self. Thats a bit hypocritical don’t you think?

Jason: So don’t ever think you’re broken when you’re far from it, you are whole and you are more than enough. I don’t care if we have sex on occasion or not at all, your happiness is all I care about. I want you to be happy for the rest of our lives together because now I’ve got you I’m not letting you go. Ever. I couldn’t care less about anything else but when it concerns you, I’d move mountains to make things better for you. I love you chipmunk, please don’t ever feel like you’re broken when you’re so much more than that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.

[catnippackets]

as someone who’s coming to terms w their own aroace identity, what does queerplatonic mean to you? you have a handful of characters in those relationships, so i just assume you understand the concept since you write it. sorry if this sounds strange, english is not my first language! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

this doesn't sound strange at all! your english is great :)

well first off, from what I've learned over the years, everybody has their own little definition of what queerplatonic means to them, so my explanation of what it means to me might not be the same as what it means to other people. it's sort of a nebulous concept that can mean whatever you want it to mean, kinda like how nonbinary can mean whatever you want it to mean and just because you strongly disagree with how someone else is using it doesn't mean either of you are wrong

I also wanna say that I've written a few qprs in my day and they're all different! there is no single consistent portrayal of what I think a queerplatonic relationship is, bc each qpr I write will look slightly different and involve different things. but at the base of it all, to me, a qpr is a relationship that isn't romantic but that is still more intimate than a platonic friendship would be. usually I say that to mean physical intimacy, like cuddling or whatnot, but it includes emotional intimacy as well. I also like to imagine it as sort of the aroace version of being in a relationship, but you DON'T have to be aro or ace to be in a qpr, anyone can have one if that's what your feelings are

sometimes I like to imagine a qpr as sort of the halfway point between platonic and romantic; you're not in love but maybe you snuggle or even occasionally kiss like you are, but there is no romance there, you're just close in a special way that you aren't with your friends. sometimes qprs will even involve sex, and from an outsider perspective, look like you're just in regular love. sometimes qprs barely look intimate at all and from an outside perspective, you just look like regular friends. all of these examples are still qprs! because it all depends on how the people involved are labelling it, and different people have different standards for their own attraction. if someone regularly kisses and cuddles with all their platonic friends and that's normal for them, then a queerplatonic relationship might look really different for them, but for me, if I had a friend who I felt comfortable kissing and cuddling with, that would DEFINITELY be a qpr for me bc I would never even dream of doing that with a platonic friend. but also I wouldn't label it as a qpr either, even though it would technically be one by definition, because I wouldn't be comfortable being in a relationship if it had a label and I would prefer to just be somebody's person and know that we've committed to each other without being "partners" or whatnot. I know that's probably kind of confusing but I can't think of any other way to explain it haha

basically at the end of the day if you feel like your feelings of attraction can't be defined as strictly platonic or romantic but they're still definitely there, that would make them queerplatonic, but of course you don't have to use any labels at all if you don't want to. I hope that was helpful in some way lol

[monarch-of-jack]

I might be the only one here. But the reason I feel conflicted when I see people shipping and sexualizing Aspec characters, is because I don't trust most of you to be respectful about it. Not to mention some of you straight up arent.

Yes, Aspecs are an incredibly diverse group of people. I KNOW. I've been in their circles for well over 10 years. But do you all really care about that?

If you don't, then you're really just using it as an excuse to ignore their identities.

Let me make it very clear that I support exploring ALL the nuanced ways that someone can be Aspec. We are so much more varied than just sex-repulsed Aces and romance-repulsed Aros. (Though those are still valid experiences, don't shit on them!)

There are Allosexual Aromantics. There are Alloromantic Asexuals. Aspecs in Queerplatonic Relationships. Grey-Aspecs, Demi-Aspecs, Oriented AroAces, Cupio-, Flux-, Lith-, Fray-, Recipro- Aego-, and a million other types of Aspecs. It's a huge spectrum.

And orientation doesn't equal action. There are sex/romance favorable Aspecs. There are kinky & kink favorable Aspecs. Aces that have and have had sex for whatever reason. Aros that are and have been in romantic relationships for whatever reason. Maybe they felt pressured. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe they were still finding themselves. Maybe they were forced. Maybe they do it for their partner. Maybe they do it for money or their image. Maybe they just like it despite lacking attraction. Aspecs are people. They are all different and all equally valid in how they live their lives.

A character being Aspec literally just means they're lacking attraction in one way or another. So there's still endless possibilities in creating canon and fanon for them.

But are most of you really shipping characters like Alastor, Peridot, Jughead and co. as Aspecs, or are you looking for excuses to disregard their identity?

Have you actually educated yourself about their identities so you can portrait them accurately and respectfully? Are you infantilizing and patronizing them or make them act stupid? Do you make them pitiful, antisocial, or 'difficult to deal with'? Are you arguing with Aspec people when they point out something is problematic? Are you accepting input from Aspec people? Do you explain that you're shipping/sexualizing that Aspec character because of your specific headcanon or AU? Do you get angry if you have to clarify that after the fact? If you as an Allo, ship or sexualize Aspec characters, do you really do it with them still being Aspec?

The thing is, you can. But a lot of you don't. And that's why Aspec people react defensifely.

We have little to no representation in the media as it is. And yet you're annoyed when we ask you not to diminish or erase their identities.

I want to see Aspecs in all kinds of situations and with all sorts of preferences. But way too many of you are ready to shit on Aspec identities to get your fanon out.

I could go on for days about this. But the fact that some of you will get angy that I even made this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

[comicaurora]

(this ask is based on the, I'm not sure if unfounded, assumption that at least 1/6(?) main crew members has some sort of non-ace/aro attraction): How do you write allo characters as an aro person? I'm one of those annoying allos who's *hyper-romantic* and working on hypersexuality for my own health, so I color most of my writing with that and struggle to write ace people. I know a lot of writers can distance themselves more. I guess I'm just curious how you inspire your characters to act socially outside of the way that you interact, specifically in terms of romanti/sexual relationships. I'm pretty good at getting my characters to engage with the world outside of my way of doing it until it comes to romance.

It's… tough, and I'm working on it. I still need to remind myself that a lot of people legitimately do experience sexual attraction and thus find certain other people in certain situations extremely physically appealing, in contrast to my own platonic attraction (the people I like, I typically like the same amount no matter what they're doing or how they look) or aesthetic attraction (when I like how someone looks in a specific situation, it is still in an extremely hands-off "I'd like to draw that" way).

I can work my way through the logic of romance, I think. I've been told that it doesn't feel the same as friendship, and that it places another person in a somewhat uniquely structural role for one's life. I've heard it described as being someone's "everything-team" - the person they want by their side at any endeavor - which is the only thing I've ever heard about romance that I don't think applies to a good percentage of my IRL friendships.

Romantic attraction is definitely the more confusing one, because everyone I know in a romantic relationship insists it's different than their platonic ones, but can't really explain why or how, only that it is. The thing is, this makes me believe them more. I know how hard it is to explain a unique inner experience to someone who has a completely different one. Their partner is their best friend, or at least top three (understandable) and also in a unique position in their life (confusion??) I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, and I think I love my friends as much as I'm capable of, and there are people I'm friends with who I could see as a theoretical partner - except that it would change absolutely nothing about our current relationship. This is why I don't identify with the label of "aromantic" where I definitely do with "asexual", because I think I experience what people are talking about, I just feel it kinda everywhere instead of nowhere.

So the hack I think I can make work to do this in my writing is:

Sexual attraction is like aesthetic attraction, but with a hands-on component. Replace "I want to draw that" with "I want to get my hands on that" and go from there.

Romantic attraction is evidently its own beast, but it contains concepts like "I trust this person implicitly," "I care about them and want them to be happy," "I would be happy coming home to this person," "I want to protect them," "I like that they care about me," and "this person helps me see the world in a different way" which are all individual sentiments I understand, even if I personally feel them about a large number of people rather than a single Special Someone. Point them at a single Someone and have the two characters involved act accordingly, and I can probably pull a romance out of it.

Like all writing-an-alien-situation stuff, it mostly pays to identify the specific details that correlate to things you DO understand and then extrapolate from there. Or you can fake it and black-box their motivations and be like "here's where I'd put their sexual attraction to each other if I had one"

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

ace/aro-spec convexian cannibalism headcanons

this is what it says on the tin!! I'm basing this loosely off of my convexian cannibalism oneshot fic series, where the fics all sort of slot into the same "universe"

CW: discussion of sex, starvation and cannibalism ahead

SO, I think that Cub, Scar, and Grian are all ace/aro-spec (and autistic but that's not so important here) in my au universe. And I find it fun to explain so I am going to do so.

Note: I am aroace-spec, autistic, and polyam and I am projecting hard. No hate please. Don't like, don't read! ^-^

Grian

An asexual who doesn't particularly seek any kind of sex but is down for whatever if the right person (ahem. Scar) comes along

Way more into sensation-seeking than actual sex acts

His Watcher Powers (TM) make it a lot easier for him to handle pain, after the first few minutes of getting cannibalised his mind drifts off and it all becomes more about Feeling than Pain

He's also accidentally hacked his bird instincts to be kind of into the whole 'being perfect prey' thing

But he doesn't like to mix sex and cannibalism, that makes him uncomfortable - roleplaying as prey or whatever is more like a signal of trust and weird intimate comfort

He likes to 'switch off' his overactive and often stressed brain and just act as prey / food for his partners sometimes - it is a very good de-stressing technique

His Watcher instincts enjoy being the one to Do Cannibalism every so often - this is how he feeds (pretty much only on Scar)

He finds the thrill / adrenaline and sensations of The Cannibalism (TM) really fun, and a way to be intimate without sex

He is not aromantic, but he get embarrassed by most romantic acts

However he will say "I love you" to his partners as a response to them saying it... usually he's not the one to say it first

Scar

Both aro and ace-spec

He has to really really get to know someone before he starts 'falling for' them, and hates the idea of sex with someone he isn't very close to

He's known Cub for a long time and they have a Vex Bond (TM)

With Grian, Third Life really sealed the deal for Scar (though he had a bit of a crush for a while) - he would Vex Bond (TM) with Grian if he could

He's very bad at acting on his feelings, so he waits until someone else says something (usually)

He is, however, outwardly flirty and makes (sometimes unintentional) dirty jokes

He enjoys sex but doesn't require it. It's just another fun thing he can do, alongside the cannibalism. They are very similar to him in terms of enjoyment.

He's also a bit of a masochist, willing to go through a lot to make his partners happy (he has been eaten many times) (and it hurts a lot, but he kind of enjoys it)

Despite the masochism, he still respects his partners' discomfort with sex, and can usually channel the pleasure into something non-sexual if they ask. This usually manifests as vex instincts going kind of crazy

When it comes to cannibalism, Scar is a vex and therefore has to eat other players to survive. He used to starve himself until forced to attack and feed, but after Grian offered to help him, he gained a healthier relationship with feeding

His vex nature comes out when feeding, and he especially enjoys inflicting slow deaths (torture makes vex brain go brr) as well as nesting and 'storing' prey (keeping Grian in a nest for a few days before the cannibalism begins)

He's the most eager to say "I love you" and is very outwardly affectionate. He gets excited to show his love since he feels it quite rarely

Cub

Aroace and has sooo much autistic rizz (well. they all do)

He's mostly grossed out by sex and doesn't want it anywhere near him. Though he finds Scar's innuendos very funny and once in a blue moon he will be down for some messing about

It takes a very special kind of person for him to actually 'fall in love' and he doesnt tend to say "I love you" to many people

Most of the time he seems kind of dry and unemotional but on the inside hes got a lot of feelings

Those emotions show when he gets excited ("LETS GOOOOO") but usually even when happy he seems quite neutral

Grian and Scar are his special people, but even then, Cub is rather awkward with affection and finds it hard to understand his own feelings

With Scar, the Vex Bond (TM) is like a QPR, which helps Cub understand things, but after he and Scar began 'hunting' (see: asking nicely to cannibalise) Grian together things got more complicated and he was hit with an unexpected crush

Which was scary and unexpected because Cub never feels that way about anyone aside from Scar

'Vexes hunt in pairs' is a thing - it makes their instincts very happy and strengthens the Vex Bond (TM)

Cannibalism definitely also helps him get his feelings across without having to talk

Scar was a born vex but Cub was human-turned-vex, and Cub was always quite nervous about the cannibalism thing (so was Scar, but he played it off)

To keep him from starving himself, Scar offered to feed Cub, which Cub accepted reluctantly, but after Scar and Grian's arrangement was established in early season 9, Cub was quickly introduced into the fold

Cub wants to say "I love you" to Grian, even though he doesn't say it often at all

^ It must be made clear that he isn't feeling pressured into saying it, he's just very scared of the words and wants to overcome that fear (as he did with Scar) - it feels strange to admit he loves someone, because it happens so rarely and he feels very strongly about his aroace identity. But he has to come to terms with the idea that he can have love for his special people while remaining solidly aroace.

He also likes the feeling of Grian's feathers #autisticking

[lauralot89]

Loveless

I'm late on this because the book was published in 2020, but I only heard about it in the last month when I was reading an article about asexuality in fiction but in case anyone is out of the loop like me let me tell you about this glory

Loveless is a YA novel by Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper and Solitaire. It tells the story of Georgia Warr, freshman at Durham University, and her realization that while she's in love with the idea of romance, the actuality of a romantic/sexual relationship repulses her.

Alice Oseman herself is aroace, which makes perfect sense because throughout the novel I kept asking myself, "How does she know? How does she know?! How did she get these thoughts out of my head?"

for my fellow ace and/or aro people, let me quote some of the lines that just got me straight in the soul:

"I had a theory that a lot of people's "celebrity crushes" were just faked to fit in."

"I was disgusted by the thought of him near me. Wanting things from me. That wasn't normal, was it?"

"Oh, God, this thing is actually real, it's not just in fanfics and movies. And I'm supposed to be doing it too."

"Did I even know what romantic feelings felt like?"

"He was clearly the sort of person who I should like romantically. Who I could like romantically. He looked like a boyfriend. I loved his personality. I'd loved his personality for years. So I could fall in love with him. With a little bit of effort. Definitely."

"I thought I'd understood what all these romantic things would feel like--butterflies and the spark and just knowing when you liked someone. I'd read about these feelings hundreds of times in books and fanfic. I'd watched way more romcoms than was probably normal for an eighteen-year-old. But now I was starting to wonder whether these things were just made up."

"Straight people don't think shit like that."

"Just because I'd never liked anyone didn't mean I never would. Did it?"

"I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you're all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke."

"How could I feel so sad about giving up these things that I did not actually want?"

"I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live."

"How was it fair that everyone got to feel that except me?"

"I never had any crushes when I was a child. Not any real ones, anyway. Sometimes I confused friendships for them, or just thinking a guy was really cool."

"For a long time, I was just dating and having sex because that's what people did. And I wanted to feel like those people."

"You've been so confused about stuff. You really thought we could be together, because you do love me. Not in a romantic way, but just as strongly."

"Oh. This is an asexual thing. I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex."

seriously the entire time I spent with this book I just kept asking "was this written for me specifically?" because that's exactly how it felt.

It is a gorgeous book that explores that bizarre feeling of not knowing the word for what you are, not even knowing that you are something out of the ordinary because we don't define ourselves by what we lack and we just expect that one day, it'll happen and we'll be like everyone else. That struggle of trying to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them, and trying to make the former into the latter and hurting everything in the process.

It is so good. 10/10, no complaints

also there's an asshole in the university's queer pride group who doesn't think aces belong and everyone hates him so that's fantastic, aphobes fuck off

in conclusion I highly recommend it

[bestloversfan]

We're in 2023, and there are still people trying to argue that Katniss was aro/ace and never felt romantic/sexual attraction for Peeta... 🤦🏻‍♀️ I could write a long meta about this for the milionth time, but this time I'll do something different. I'll just show some quotes from the books.

If she was unable to feel romantic/sexual attraction and only ever had platonic feelings for him, what are all of these quotes supposed to mean?

"He gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me." (The Hunger Games)

"This is the first kiss that we’re both fully aware. Neither of us hobbled by sickness or pain or simply unconscious. Our lips neither burning with fever or icy cold. This is the first kiss where I actually feel stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. This is the first kiss that makes me want another." (The Hunger Games)

"So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck,’ says Peeta. For a moment, I’m almost foolishly happy and then confusion sweeps over me. Because we’re supposed to be making up this stuff, playing at being in love not actually being in love." (The Hunger Games)

[...]"His face takes on a special look when he concentrates. His usual easy expression is replaced by something more intense and removed that suggests an entire world locked away inside him. I’ve seen flashes of this before: in the arena, or when he speaks to a crowd, or that time he shoved the Peacekeepers’ guns away from me in District 11. I don’t know quite what to make of it. I also become a little fixated on his eyelashes, which ordinarily you don’t notice much because they’re so blond. But up close in the sunlight slanting in from the window, they’re a light golden color and so long I don’t see how they keep from getting all tangled up when he blinks.

One afternoon Peeta stops shading a blossom and looks up so suddenly that I start, as though I were caught spying on him, which in a strange way maybe I was. But he only says, “You know, I think this is the first time we’ve ever done anything normal together.” (Catching Fire)

"I don't know what I expected from my first meeting with Peeta after the announcement. A few hugs and kisses. A little comfort maybe. Not this." (Catching Fire)

“When Peeta holds out his arms, I walk straight to them. It’s the first time since they announced The Quarter Quell that he’s offered me any sort of affection. He’s been more like a very demanding trainer, always pushing, always insisting Haymitch and I run faster, eat more, know our enemy better. Lover? Forget about that. He abandoned any pretense of even being my friend. I wrap my arms tighly around his neck before he can order me to do push-ups or something. Instead he pulls me in closer and buries his face in my hair. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I won’t be the first to let go." (Catching Fire)

"I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

'I do', I say. 'I need you'." (Catching Fire)

"I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.

This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind." (Catching Fire)

"When I wake, I have a brief, delicious feeling of happiness that is somehow connected with Peeta." (Catching Fire)

"I sit next to Peeta on the sand to eat my rolls. For some reason, it's difficult to look at him. Maybe it was all that kissing last night, although the two of us kissing isn't anything new. It might not even have felt any different for him." (Catching Fire)  

"I sit back on my bed cross-legged and find myself rubbing the smooth iridescent surface of the pearl back and forth against my lips. For some reason, it’s soothing. A cool kiss from the giver himself." (Mockingjay)

"I’m light-headed with giddiness. What will I say? Oh, who cares what I say? Peeta will be ecstatic no matter what I do. He’ll probably be kissing me anyway. I wonder if it will feel like those last kisses on the beach in the arena, the ones I haven’t dared let myself consider until this moment." (Mockingjay) 

“Sometimes when I’m alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena. To make myself put a name to the thing I've lost. But what's the use? It's gone, he's gone. Whatever existed between us is gone." (Mockingjay)

"Despite what I feel for Peeta, this is when I accept deep down that he'll never come back to me." (Mockingjay)

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. [...] So after, when he whispers, 'You love me. Real or not real? I tell him, 'Real'." (Mockingjay)

There's more quotes like that, but I think these are enough. Now, can you all please stop pretending that these quotes don't exist and accept the fact that there's canon evidence refuting the belief that Katniss was aro/ace and never felt romantic/sexual attraction for Peeta? 😑

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Primarch Sexuality Headcanons

Inspired by this post in which I got very excited to see someone else advocating for an ace-Fulgrim so I'm gonna list my view on the primarch's and their various sexualities.

May do a follow-up on the various captains and other Astartes in the Legions, though that post would get pretty huge pretty fast. I have a lot of opinions.

I invite others to share their perspectives if they have them. For full disclosure, I am coming at this as a homoromantic asexual who is VERY sex-repulsed, so that is, naturally, going to tinge my own perspective.

In Legion order:

Lion El'Johnson - Demisexual or grey-ace, uncertain about romantic interests. I haven't read too much on the Lion, and I know it seems to be popular to make the lad gay, but I don't quite get those vibes from him. I think he prefers women.

Fulgrim - Asexual panromantic. As was said in the thread linked above by the Consortium-human, definitely for aesthetic attraction. He is a peacock in the most literal way possible and I think he'd like his romantic partners to maybe be similar? I can definitely see him dressing them up ostentatiously.

Perturabo - Love the iron hermit, he's definitely a demiromantic asexual. Definitely sex-repulsed. Others would say aro but I could see him being romantically interested in someone if they took the time required for him to see them that way. I don't think gender would matter too much, but I think he'd have a more masc preference.

Jaghatai Khan - Grey-ace or Bisexual king. He's not someone who actively looks for relationships or flings but isn't opposed to them either, if he finds the person attractive.

Leman Russ - Exists in a quantum state between "homosexual bear" and "omnisexual bear". On the one hand, I can see him with basically anyone, but on the other, he gives that rugged sort of "passes as straight lumberjack, is actually gay as hell" type.

Rogal Dorn - Asexual... demiromantic? It's either demi or heteroromantic. Preference towards women or femme-presenting people. Probably sex-repulsed if not sex neutral.

Konrad Curze - Aromantic asexual. Has never had the interest. Has never wanted the interest. Pretty straight forward.

Sanguinius - I feel like it'd be cliche and also wrong to say demiromantic asexual. Aspec for sure. Maybe homoromantic? Maybe biromantic? He's tough to put a good finger on in terms of vibes.

Ferrus Manus - This is a gay man. Homosexual aromantic. I do not think he'd be very into a romantic relationship.

Angron - Heteroromantic asexual. If he ever had the true capacity for romance, anyway. The Nails probably stole it from him.

Roboute Guilliman - This one is tough. I want to say something aspec, as I said before maybe demi or grey. I don't think it's hard ace for him. In terms of a romantic orientation... Tough. I think he'd be interested in trying a date with a man, but I do want to say heteroromantic. Not closing himself off to the possibility of also being into them, but if he is bi-or-panromantic, he still has a preference for femme-presenting people and women.

Mortarion - See, most would probably also assume asexual, and I would maybe agree, but I've always had a thing in the back of my mind where he's just straight. Heterosexual man. Nothing wrong with it. He may be aromantic or just not interested in a relationship.

Magnus the Red - Aromantic asexual, I will say this with my full chest. Not opposed to a relationship, potentially, but would rather sex not be involved.

Horus Lupercal - I've seen some people say he's a bisexual disaster and while I can see where people are coming from, he's always had big asexual vibes, someone who's up for sex if his partners want it but is also just as fine without. Pan/omniromantic for sure though.

Lorgar Aurelian - Asexual for sure. I am consistently flipping between a bunch of different romantic orientations for him. I think he'd be an oriented demiromantic, but on the other hand. Hmm. He's tough. I saw panromantic and I think that is correct. May have a more masc preference though.

Vulkan - I feel like demisexual kinda cheapens him since everyone has flanderized him into being the "friendly" primarch, but it does feel fitting after everything I've read on him. So demi it is. Romantically... tough. Part of me wants to say aromantic. Another part wants to also put him as heteroromantic. One of those two.

Corvus Corax - Heterosexual, probably. I can definitely see him as a Castlevania-Dracula-"if you hurt my wife I will scour the lands and make sure your souls are damned for eternity"-type.

Alpharius/Omegon - It's a mystery, OooOooOO! I'm not gonna cop out like that. Based on what I've read, I see heterosexual aromantic. May be open to experimenting with men or androgenous people, but solidly prefers women as partners.

Bonus Round:

The Emperor of Man and Malcador are gay lovers. I have seen the light. I have read The End and the Death. They are homosexuals.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, so I'd like to start off this by saying that I'm very certain that I'm straight.

But.

I find most of your comics very relatable, especially the ones where you struggle to understand how people try to put romance/sex everywhere and make it the central part of their lives.

Like, I've had conversations with my friends who seem to think that not finding a romantic partner is some sort of personal failure or a life not worth living.

And like, i get the appeal of romance and sex. It's there for me too, but. There's also video games and books and food and cats and looking at the stars. Why spend so much time and effort on this 1 thing?

One guy i know even said to me that he's only pretending to be friends with girls if he thinks it increases his chance of finding a girlfriend. Like, he's given up on being friends with half the population just for that?! I can't understand that at all.

Sorry if i ranted for too long, but do you have any idea why im like this or they are like that, it's really been bugging me recently.

Thank you so much for reaching out!! Honestly, it's always a relief when someone who doesn't identify as ace related to those things I express. Because yeah, I don't believe that should be an ace-only thing, really!

I've got guy friends, most of which are very supportive of my queerplatonic partner and I, and have been supportive of me being asexual before that. But people like that one guy you mentioned are why I always have that conditioned initial sort of "fear" of guys in the back of my head, and I hate it.--" It makes me implicitly disrespectful of guys who may mean me no harm or have zero ulterior sexual or romantic motives. I'm very glad I have those friends as proof that not everyone thinks this way – and I'm very glad I have those friends overall because they really rock.

But yeah, I honestly don't get the whole idea of why it's portrayed as so freaking crucial to the human experience as if it were an obligation. There could be many reasons. On the one hand, I guess being romantically or sexually excited brings in levels of dopamine that act pretty quick and hard and that might be why people latch on to it – my bad if I misunderstand that, I'm definitely not a sciency person, and I don't understand those appeals at all as an aro-ace, so I might be totally wrong about this. On the other hand, there might be a result of deep-rooted societal and traditionalist constructs of "people must get paired and make lots of equally traditional babies". Though not everyone agrees with traditionalist principles, and yet a lot of people will hyperfixate on those ideas of love and sex as ultimate single ideas anyway. So I'm not sure. I'm one of the least well positioned people to get it, really TwT But it's always a big reassurance when other people of any orientation take a look at the situation and are like "that's not all there is". I truly appreciate it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

[spyroforlife]

not gonna reblog the actual post I saw because I don't feel like derailing and I will always just give people room to be haters on their own blogs, I understand the venting, I do. But it's always so funny to me when I see posts like "just let this ace/aro character be ace/aro you weird fuckin shippers!!"

because like

babes

they still are

they literally are whatever they are in canon. That is always gonna be the same. The representation is not being taken away from you in any way whatsoever because other fans are doing what fans do and making silly lil shipping drawings and fics, because they just personally find shipping fun and will do it to literally whoever they find interesting and want to imagine in situationships

The creator of your fav ace blorbo is not gonna go on Tumblr.com and look in the fandom tags and see a drawing of them making out with another character and go "hmm you know what. I dig that more actually. So asexuality retconned, he's gonna fuck (character) on screen now <3"

That doesn't happen. Can seeing the ship art be off-putting if you can't see the character being like that? Of course! Yes! Not denying it! But like. They're not changing anything about the character in canon. It's not some kind of problem in fandom that needs to be fixed. Shipping just happens, pretty sure it's a goddamn rule of the Internet.

But I promise you, there is still gonna be a variety of fans who would MUCH RATHER actually focus on that asexuality and/or aromanticism and discuss that, and portray it in their works. You can follow those people specifically, and join in their discussions! And who knows, it might get more people talking about it, so you'll see more of what you actually wanna see with the character.

It's just like. Idk. I get complaining but I just start feeling itchy as soon as it takes a turn into any sort of "so other people SHOULDN'T do x/y/z with blorbo actually" because okay hit the brakes, fandom is just for fun, it's a hobby, shipping is just playing around in imagination land and who cares if people do dumb or impossible things. You can dislike it, you can want to avoid it, but trying to tell other people what they can and can't do with fictional characters??

idk man. just rubs me the wrong way I guess. And in the end I'm just ALSO bitching about a fandom thing on my own blog and this ultimately doesn't matter too much to me because I DO have a job and fandom is just a hobby for me.

But I guess I just really don't see people shipping aroace characters as a big deal, because let's be real shipping has ALWAYS been about ignoring canon sexualities, this is nothing new. People will literally just smash together whoever they find hottest, or the most fascinating, or the most fucked up, or whatever tickles their fancy. And what's happening in some weird lil corner of fandom just isn't gonna have any impact on what actually happens with the canon character relationships, and it was never about that anyway, so. who cares and let people have fun. I promise when you go back to whatever media your blorbo is from, they're still gonna be their cool asexual/aromantic selves, because canon isn't fanon

signed, an asexual who gets amusement from dumb ships because I know I personally would never do this stuff but it's fun living it through random fictional characters <3

[jamesunderwater]

also while we're whining, I spent hours tonight looking through new/upcoming queer romance novels and found a total of five that were about a trans man and a woman, and of those only three were a trans man/cis woman. and anyway the more i really settle into this new understanding of myself as a trans man who is mostly attracted to femmes, the more i feel just....so on the fucking outskirts of everything. being a trans man who presents mostly hetero is.....like you're not woman enough to be sapphic, you're not homo enough to be a gay guy, but you're also not cis so you don't feel like just some straight dude. and somehow all the queer and trans media out there has decided all trans men are gay, and sapphics are almost exclusively cis lesbians, so if a trans man and a queer woman are in the same room together it's probably on accident and there's no way they'd be attracted to each other.

lol and then you add in any sort of ace, aro, autistic, or adhd rep, and god forbid ask for it to not only be about white people??? i stg if i want a book about a latine trans guy who is ace-ish, audhd, and just wants to hold hands with a pretty girl, i'm gonna have to write that fucking thing myself.

and if I'm wrong and you know of books like this that already exist, dear god, please tell me. (i do definitely recommend the spirit bares its teeth by joseph white for a lot of good rep, but that book is so far from the romance novel i'm looking for here)

[ahbeduo]

REALLY?! U WANNA KNOW SUBJECT 2 HCS FROM LIL OLD ME?! HEHEHE I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK!!!

I like to think his name is Dorian :3 leakers were digging in the files a while back and found out that the texture for his model is called “Dorian” so that’s where it came from. Dorian is Greek for “gift”, but also comes from the name Doerain, which means “wanderer” or “exile” which I think is sad but fitting LMAO. (Dorian is also in reference to Oscar Wilde’s novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray. If ur interested u should look into it, bc I’d butcher the summary lol)

I like to think that bros a more feral version of Albedo. Albedo is domesticated, Dorian is not HFHDH. He’s much easier to anger, but he wouldn’t put up a fight unless provoked or attacked first.

The reason…he was never trained in any kind of sword fighting style. He can swing a sword around but there’s a 1/99 chance that it would actually hurt someone.

I gave him a Cryo vision bc I mean. Just look at him. That pathetic little mess of a guy is the archetype for Cryo. I like to think he’s a catalyst user (and his best weapon is “Frostbearer” and he relies on it more than his sword hehe. Playstyle wise I’d make him scale off of ATK to contrast Albedo’s DEF scaling)

For his relationships, he prefers Klee’s more upbeat and bouncy nature. She doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not Albedo, and treats him like a brother regardless. He’d take her fishblasting any day <3

Albedo…he’s wary around. Even if they were to make up and all that, his vibe around would probably be very much the feeling you get when you go over to a friend’s house and you feel like you have to impress their parents in order to be allowed in. Does that make sense?? Basically he’s walking on eggshells even if Albedo tells him he’s fine LMAO

While he’s made his appearance a bit different from Albedo (red/maroon/black color scheme, hair either down on his shoulders or in a low and messy braid, and a little thinner than Albedo due to Albedo having built up muscle from sword-wielding), sometimes he switches back to Albedo’s form to mess with people. Specifically the Traveler. He’s a little prankster!!

Even tho he’s used to the cold, he loves warmth. U light up a fire and Dorian will sit so close his hair will singe at the edges. He also loves spicy food <3 (when he lived in Dragonspine he ate like. Unseasoned roasted meat and snow. So he craves any kind of flavor now)

I hc him as aro-ace, and also nonbinary for some fics I write :D I mostly do that just to differentiate between Albedo and him (I write him without a name sometimes so using the “he/him” pronouns twice over without stating who’s speaking is very complicated so I use “they/them” for ease of reading) but also bc I feel like. After 500 years of sleeping in poison dragon tummy soup, one would sort of dissociate from the whole gender thing.

Hehehehehe there u go there’s some hcs 👉👈 I love my little guy he’s so sad and I LOOOOOVE the angst potential with him. Lmk what u think :D

uwahhhh those are yummy, thank you for the snacks 😋

Idk what to say there, just know that your HCs are valid! Some of them, like how rocky his relationship with Albedo is, are something i do think of too! Like yeh they cool, but that doesn't erase the fact Albedo is the favourite child. And and and the fact he likes flavours like spicy- I think he doesn't like very sweet things either

[asexual-society]

Hii hope you have a wonderful day today! -I wanted to ask something to make sure im not being mean but- is it possible for an Ace person to be Aphobic? Im in a fandom where there used to be a Ace character- he said he was- thing is, the show never said he was SexRepulsed- but fans took his lack of interest as such. believed he was in fact SexRepulsed. -that character is gone- now, there is yet another character (think, a reboot of the old one) believed to be Ace but this time, he seems to be ok with touch an even seems very friendly ~ with only one character. my ask is, if some people view this second version, as still Ace. but sex favorable, is that aphobic? is maybe having another view on this chracter that is questioning himself, a bad thing? because this is said a lot, that ppl is being aphobic for "refusing to accept he is sex repulsed" or "using the fact he is questioning himself to ship him" (mind you-most shipart is literally hand holding and being buddies) hope Im making sense- im so lost and I trust your blog to help me (because im also scared to be harrased for asking this inside that fandom)

Hey! (We got your other ask, I got half way through answering it and then forgot, so I will get to that soon I promise) Good to hear from you again :) I ended up going a little off topic here, but I hope I managed to fully answer this (if not, just send another one). Also get ready for some parentheses.

In answer to the first part of your question, yes ace people can be aphobic (many ace people can be arophobic, but also acephobic, both to people who share their own identity and others who have a different identity under the ace umbrella).

This is a pretty interesting question actually, because there is acephobia at play in the situation you're describing, but not necessarily in the way those people mean. It is NOT acephobic to have a sex favourable ace character, that's fine, because there are sex favourable aces out there and they're just as much a part of our community as those who are indifferent, averse, repulsed, or some sort of mixture. Sex favourable aces have just a much right to see themselves represented as sex averse aces, but unfortunately, there is so little asexual representation that it can feel like if one flavour of ace people are represented, that that representation has been taken away from aces of other flavours.

It's totally understandable to feel that way, but that doesn't mean those feelings are actually justified? And people get pretty negative reactions for complaining about any lack of rep, which can lead to bad feelings all round and just creates even more of a divide between us. We have to understand that our individual experiences not being represented is NOT the fault of other ace people. It's not fair to want one group to miss out on representation, just so another can get theirs. Additionally, it can be important for people who are questioning or struggling with their identity to work through that in their art, and explorations of things like touch aversion and touch starvation can be very nuanced because one person can experience both to very high degrees, and they each can even compound the other. And, a sex favourable asexual person will not feel the same way about sex as an allosexual person, and that is an equally nuanced and interesting (and fun) thing to be able to explore.

I don't know what media this ask is about, so I can't comment on specifics, but I can admit, I've been frustrated by this sort of thing in the past; it can be really hard to shake an instinct to push back when you feel like you're being treated unfairly, but sometimes we do have to step back and understand that everyone in our community feels the same way, we just want to see ourselves and to feel seen by others. As a person who is both aro and ace, and doesn't want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship, I don't feel represented by characters who are alloace in the way an alloace person does, or sex/romance favourable aroace characters in the way sex favourable aroace people do, but they probably feel that same way when they see aro characters or sex averse characters. It does really suck when people outside of the community ignore and erase the identities of aspec characters because they don't feel our experiences are interesting or valuable enough to represent and explore, but that isn't what's happening on an intracommunity level (as in, within the ace community).

The recent discourse about shipping aroace characters has sort of been getting me down, because it's a complex topic and rather than being a black-or-white, two sides thing, there are people with good and bad takes (mostly bad, let's be real) coming from so many different directions, there is so much nuance it would take me much more than one little answer to cover (and let me tell you, if I were to try, it would not be on this blog!). I might have said this before, but I tend to avoid fandoms of media with canon aroace characters for the most part for this exact reason, and within the community we are SO far ahead of where the rest of the world (and even the rest of the queer community) sees aspec people, I genuinely believe (call it cynical if you like) that this will continue to be a problem for several more years. And like, you can just block people and move on with your life, your fandom experience will be so much more enjoyable if you block people who say shit you think sucks, aphobic or not. Everyone should do this.

I think this is probably long enough now, and I've definitely missed something important, but I hope it helped.

~ mod key

[chaoticallytiny]

A Rambling:

Give me more purely platonic headcanons of our faves.

Not only does this broaden a fandom’s range to include our beloved aro/ace friends, but it also brings back some nonromantic, nons*xualized intimacy. Platonic love and affection is so important!

Some Overwatch examples, for your amusement and consideration:

I wanna hug/be hugged by Ramattra without any ulterior motives besides maybe convincing him to go mini golfing with Zenyatta and myself later.

I want to thank Mercy and rub her back and shoulders because she always works so hard to take care of others and deserves to have people look after her too.

I wanna go find a bakery with Sombra where we both get conchas and she spills all the tea about people she’s hacked lol (Did you know Reaper and Roadhog both collect and discuss Pachimari?)

I want to talk to Sigma and Lucio about what the universe’s song sounds like and see if there’s some way to recreate it. Is it more instrumental? Is it more electronic? Is it screamo??? Idk but we’d have the best time doing it, I think. Maybe we could help Sigma feel a little more securely attached to his humanity.

I wanna sit on Reinhardt’s shoulder and be tall for a while (my username checks out, I assure you lol) as he tells me all sorts of stories from his military career and he laughs so loud strangers look over to see what’s happening.

I want Junkrat to feel loved and as if there is someone out there who genuinely would enjoy being his friend (without being bribed or something). Most of his voice interactions with the others are mildly depressing. He’s trying so hard to be friends with everybody but with little return. He’s a sweet guy, truly, and he would love getting to show off all his neat inventions (and explosives) to someone. Even if I don’t understand all his technical talk, I’d love to hear it.

I want to take Hanzo and Genji to a local cafe and just chat about life. What is their advice for life? What’s the funniest thing they’ve seen the other one do? Would they wrestle a bear if presented the opportunity? (Hanzo would not unless necessary, Genji would to show off)

I want to go sit in the forest with Bastion and meet all the wildlife. Not one of us verbalizes the same way, but we can all be friendly and share a magical moment together anyway.

I’m well aware of the saying that “if you want something done you should do it yourself,” but I do think this is something I encounter very little in general and thus could be more widespread. Especially compared to the amount of romantic writing. There’s nothing wrong about writing something romantic, I just like imagining loving on everybody without implying or requiring anything more.

To those that write/have written platonic interactions betwixt and between our faves, thank you. To those that write in general, whether for themselves or others, thank you. To those who read these stories, blurbs, headcanons, and so on, thank you too. Thank you for putting something into the world that makes me appreciate the creativity of people. And thank you to those who appreciate it and make writers feel more connected to other fans and fellow creators.

Anywho, thank you for listening to my thoughts. I hope you have a lovely day/evening/night/etc. 💕