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#I know how many of you are scared and insecure and how the MAJORITY of us struggle with feeling like we're not good enough and I UNDERSTAND
joosthead · 3 days
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can i do more than one? 👀
13 & 29 & 30
₊˚⊹⋆ prompt: 13. who reaches for the other’s hand first? || 29. one headcanon about this otp that breaks your heart || 30. one headcanon about this otp that mends it
₊˚⊹⋆ reader: gn!reader, 29&30 revolve around normal au
₊˚⊹⋆ cws: none
₊˚⊹⋆ junote: thank you sm for requesting!! 29&30 seem to be very popular hc requests lolol 😆😆
RPF/REAL PERSON FICTION BELOW CUT, DNI IF ANTI-RPF
13 who reaches for the others hand first?
you do :3 i mean obviously it depends but it’s mostly you.
in the beginning it was mostly him—he’s a level 100 clinger grabbing your hand out of the blue and kissing your knuckles but i think he likes when you chase too. he’s the most expressive guy… ever lol jk so seeing you be that level is so 😆😆
he likes when he walks ahead of you a little when you’re out on the town; you get distracted by a storefront or something or other and his long legs carry him ahead of you so you have to catch up.
from behind, you grab his hand and he looks back and smiles at you, pulling you in closer so you’re side by side, his earphone wires tangling and up in your business, your hands together behind your back as he kisses your temple.
“ohhhhh, my baby, you missed me soooo much, hm?” all sickly sweet and a tiny bit patronizing, fully joking but also meaning it a little because the annoyed look on your face makes it for him.
“suuuurree,” you say, sarcasm dripping off your words, but when you untangle your arms, kissing his tattooed knuckles as you talk about what distracted you—joost knows you mean it.
29 headcanon that breaks your heart
(normal au)
it takes a really long time for you two to get together. really really long time. the vast majority of the time spent was full of doubt and insecurities. he questioned—is this really what you want? you questioned yourself—is this really what he wants?
the utter mismatch of your lives were not lost on you. it took a few years to get your shit together and finally admit it to yourselves that regardless of your doubts, you wanted each other.
your schedules were chaotic as it is and you didn’t want to let each other down; neither of you would back down, always butting heads about making sure the other wouldn’t have to compromise their life just to be with the other.
even after you got together, there was still a lot of guilt on your end about how long it took; he was always the one who wanted to push the boundary, finally make it so he was yours, but you objected out of fear.
tbh it was the opposite of commitment issues—you two were so committed to each other and didn’t want to let go, it was just the whole label part.
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this is meta about normal au, jtsfaoi, and tt, but this is why there’s so much guilt on reader’s end about not showing up for him!! they feel like they wasted 2 years (oops is that a spoiler) out of the sake of being scared and for a long time feel like they need to make up for that for him :’’’) there will be lots of this talk in the future prequel parts of normal au so more heartbreak lols
30 headcanon that mends it
in my head normal au reader and joosti tosti get married and have 3 babies LOLZ soooo… i wanna share more but idk how much i can spoil ab my plans for the future ?!? i can prob write a little bullet point post about it if anyone wants it 👀
the wedding is soooo small and spontaneous—like you woke up that morning not even planning to do anything that day, next thing you know you’re at town hall at noon with as many of your friends that can make it to witness for you. you have a second bigger ceremony so you can have all the pictures and little wedding customs, but that first wedding still ended up being your favorite. can also write drabble about this lolol but can’t promise i’ll share much 🤫🤫
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elbdot · 2 years
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Hey, your work is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing it with the world the way you have, even in this wretched climate so inhospitable to art and artists. You do a lot of good by existing and sharing and creating. Thank you!!!
ADKJGFJGJDKJGF OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 😭😭😭 Yeah the whole AI-stuff seems very grim and depressing, but luckily I see more and more conventions, corporations and publishers putting a stop to it by not accepting any AI-generated work and I'm sure more companies will follow this motion and update their guidelines accordingly, for only "human-made" work to be accepted.
I don't say much on the topic because I just don't like to put my attention to it, so this will be my only comment on the subjet, but I absolutely applaud all those who are actively fighting against it, because it's definitely a necessary fight against art theft and to make sure there are guidelines being created to handle this new technology. We can't make it disappear, but we can set up rules and give it proper management.
This may sound naive but I am actually very optimistic that this will be handled and settled in a couple of months. Or maybe a year or two. I don't think AI can replace artists in any way. Because in the end, artists are not a hivemind you can study and simply copy and paste, because every artist is an individual. They're all unique with their own minds, their own styles, their own ideas and concepts and every single person brings something new to the table.
Sure, AI can steal and copy a person's art style. But they cannot copy what's inside your mind. They cannot predict you. They can just copy what you have already created, but its YOU who came up with it. And if you're a comic artist or a storyteller of any kid, they'll never be able to tell YOUR stories.
They'll never replace you because they cannot be you. Nobody can be you. Only you can be you. And that's why you'll never lose your worth, because nobody can create the things you create in YOUR way. Don't let the outside world tell you otherwise. You are so worthy just for being here. You bring so much joy just for being and sharing what's on your mind. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're replacable, because you're not. So thank you for being here too! :DD
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allfearstofallto · 6 months
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I swear to God Childe has so much potential as a yandere, I have this feeling that his soul “died” when he fall into the abyss, after that major event he is a completely different person and his parents knows it they saw it in his eyes, soulless, thirsty for blood and violence.
Imagine him in utter shock when his kids get scared of him, not realizing his love is twisted and sick in the head after they saw how he treats their mother by trying to mimic what he thinks is “love”, how she gets anxious whenever she’s around him,they can hear her cry every night from their bedroom despite her trying her best to be the mother they deserve knowing the circumstances that led to their births, Generally children can feel when something is happening in their household but cannot fully understand it due to their age (lol speaking from experience).
He thought he’d have a picture perfect family with his darling, but why now are they seeing him as if he some type of a monster? That will for sure would make him insecure and it brings up the abyss memories. He claims he loves them and their mother so much but why does he hurt their mama?.
Friend, this is literally a full fledged fic already! And it's incredible!! I've been thinking on this idea for a bit already cause I already had an ask similar to it, so I'll add onto your fic just a little bit!!
Yandere! Childe x Fem! Reader
Forced Marriage AU
TW: Yandere themes, reader has children
Growing up in a large family with so many siblings to love and care for, laughter was a sound that he often heard. It was his favorite sound, other than the distinct noise that blood made when it dripped into freshly packed snow. Snezhnaya is cold, but laughter coming straight from your belly is so so warm.
He loves coming home to the sound of laughter. Childish giggles and your rich chuckles. He'd sit his bow down to the side and close the front door to the manor, a noise that was rather loud. He'd be smiling ear to ear, wanting to join in on all the fun, only to realize that the house was now quiet.
Childe went to the living room, where you sat with his two sons. Your two sons. His little bundles of joy that he was eternally grateful to have. The younger one rested on your lap, the other on the carpeted floor at your feet, with a myriad of toys splayed in front of him.
Why did you always make that face at him, he wondered. Big doe eyes, like deer in headlights, you always looked so stiff and scared around him. Maybe that's why in turn, the kids made that same face, maybe that's why the laughter always stopped when he entered the room. The kids would huddle in closer to you and farther away from him.
"It's nice to see you all together when I come home," he'd say, with that smile still on his face, but you could see the edges of his lips twitching. He was forcing this smile and you forced one back, gently tapping your son with your foot to tell him to do the same. He hesitated for a moment, then beamed up at him with a grin, missing his two front teeth.
"We missed you, papa!" He yelled, just as you told him to. Just the way Childe wanted. Your younger son continued to bury his face in your lap, trying to look any where but his father.
Childe didn't seem bothered by this and leaned down to tousle the boy's orange hair, making him flinch in your hold, "I always loved that they got my hair color," he said while looking at you, eyes so dead and empty, you thought you were looking into a void, "I never realized how well my hair and your eyes went together until I saw them."
"Is that so, my love?" You spoke warmly while gently trying to nudge your son from your lap, "We could talk more about it now. I was just going to send the boys to their rooms."
His expression finally changed. The facade finally fell. His smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. You could tell that he was trying to hold the expression back, trying not to scare the children, but they'd already notice his change in demeanor. His shift in attitude making the air feel thick and tight, constricting your chest.
"Why would we do that? We can just talk together, as a family,"
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miruac · 1 month
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dating tenya iida headcanons - part two
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navigation
1 | 3
warnings: not proofread, extremely self indulgent, reader has a little bit of anxiety and theyre a lil insecure
a/n: listened to chappell roan while writing this. casual came on again and i imagined iida to it and i got sad so here u guys go
last time we were here it was a couple weeks when you two came back from your date
he got you that gift basket of things you eyed while window shopping, and your heart soard
this man loves to see you happy
as of now, it had been two months since your date, and you guys haven't gone out yet due to midterm exams coming up
but you've been setting for group study sessions with your classmates, in the dorm lounge
everyone's going insane and they're all pretty serious about studying
especially iida, he doesn't glance up at you much or now since his nose is always deep into his notes
he didn't realize but you felt a little distant, and a little scared that his feelings for you went away
you got up from your spot beside him and went back up to your room, to try and get some space
he didn't realize you were gone until his hand swung down and tried to hold yours
after asking around he found out you went up to your room to 'rest up'
he knocked on the door anad called for you, and you opened the door just a tiny crack
he was worried, and asked if he did something wrong
after you told him, he nodded and looked so upset with himself
"thank you for telling me, i'm sorry i made you feel like that. but rest assured, i still harbour deep affection for you. we may be busy now, but i will try my best to keep up with you."
IM SOBBING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
the next day when you're heading down to your study sesh, he's waiting for you with a smile and blush on his face
his hand hovers over yours. and he's slightly shaking
you grip onto his, and you two are being all gross and cute while engaging in minimal pda(he approves this one time)
guys i dunno why i'm thinking of so many sad headcanons help
when youre sad or upset, he'll hold your hand or hold you in his arms
if youre crying or don't want to talk about it, he'll wait until you're ready
he won't push you, he just wants to mkae sure you know that he's there for you to fall back on
he does the thing where he's looking into your eyes as he caresses your cheek while wiping away your tears with his thumb(IM PHYSICALLY SICK. IM GOING TO BARF I NEED TO BE IN HIS ARMS)
he's so patient with you :(((
ok im done i dont wanna cry anymore
he always tries to cheer you up by telling you a funny story, or by reassurement. it depends on what you need
OK IM DONE IM DONE BACK TO HAPPINESS
now that exams are done, summer break is here!!!
majority of class 1-a went home for break, including you and iida
you two frequently messaged the other, until you came back to the dorms with a couple weeks left of the break
you didnt know but while he was home he bought a couple of souvenirs for you, HE GOT YOU A LITTLE BLUE BEAR WITH GLASSES THAT LOOKED LIKE HIM
as a celebratory 'summer's almost over' event, the class had a little dinner party
varied from bakugous murderous attempt of trying to get everyone to eat sichuan chili hotpot to satos sweet desserts
after the dinner, the class went outside to take a little breather(and to light some sparklers and play around with some fireworks WHICH THEY WERE SUPERVISED BY AIZAWA AND ALL MIGHT)
when everyone went in, you stayed outside for a little longer to look up at the pretty moon and stars
iida saw you from the window, and went outside to try
he was worried you'd get cold
like he had never seen your eyes sparkle like that, the way how all your features reflected upon the moonlight
this boy's heart did FLIPS LIKE CONTINUOUS 360S EVERYWHEREE
his face was so red stop hes so cute
he could not stop staring until you asked him what was up
"can i... kiss you.....?"
"what's with the informal speech all of a sudden?"
"apologies, may i kiss you?"
"yes, yes you may."
IM GONNA CRYYY HES SO CUTE
obvi he hasnt had his first kiss so when you guys did kiss he froze up and his hands literally hovered over you because he didn't know where to put them and if you were okay with it
after like ten seconds you both pulled away and LORD his face was REDDD
he had an awkward smile on his face AGHGHGHGHGHGHG I LOVE AWKWARD NERDSS
after composing himself he ushered you back inside in fear that you'll catch a cold
but when he got back to his dorm that night, he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled so triumphantly
he still felt your lips on his, and maybe he realized he wanted to feel them more often
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2nd a/n: hi guys!!!! part one got a lot of love which made me really happy, its so hard being an iida lover but you guys make it worth it <33 i also got a couple of dishes stuck together when i was washing them earlier and my parents got mad at me so this i decided to work on this to let out my anger AND HEY IT WORKED ok idk what im saying | fun fact i was listening to casual by chappell roan when i was writing the sad n sorta angsty part of this headcanon, because iida would NEVER partake in casual activity(i did a rant about this earlier im done ok goodbye) anyways THAT CONCLUDES MY RANT send me a plunger emoji if you guys got this far(in honor of the fallen dishes)
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Dick grayson x male reader (preferably YJ verse)
Reader is Clark's bio son and their both hopelessly in love but reader is scared of dicks dating history and how close he's with all his exes and he doesn't want to get burned in the process
Dick Grayson x kryptonian male reader
Headcanons
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Featuring some of my kryptonian headcanons.
You and Dick would be close even before the young justice team was made, since Bruce and Clark worked side by side so much as you were growing up. That results in you two knowing each other pretty well.
You would both be crushing on one another, but neither of you would confess or think the other feels the same way. Dick would the one to go off and date other people whilst you just stayed single and nursed what you thought was your one-sided crush.
Clark would have realized very early on how you were feeling for Dick, and he would tease you good naturedly about how you keep purring when your around him, saying its good he cant hear those frequencies or dick would have known immediately too.
You bring kryptonian makes you one of the team’s power houses, since you pack a major punch and other very strong powers. This results in you also looking out for a lot of the other team members just in case.
You’ve taken many hits for Dick over the years, since you on instinct keep a closer eye on him than everyone else. It’s not on purpose, you just do.
When Conner shows up, you don’t turn him away like others and treat him like a fellow kryptonian even if your dad is having some issues with being cloned. You don’t blame Conner for being created, and you just want to help out.
This leads to you and Conner getting close, and you teaching him about the weird quirks that come with being part Kryptonian. He almost exposes you when he asks why you purr so much around Dick, but you quickly shut him up.
Pretty much everyone can tell Dick is just as head over heels for you in return, it’s probably why some of his past relationships ended. I could imagine his partners realizing he was pining hard for you, which lead to a breakup for the most part.
Dick would think you don’t want a relationship in general since you’ve never been in a relationship with anyone, but everyone knows its because you pine after him too.
You two circling eachother like a pair of peacocks has been the cause of many tired conversations between your dads or your teammates. Bruce and Clark have known for years that you two like each other, but they also don’t want to push either of you to confess if you arent ready.
Your teammates have bets on how long its gonna take, Roy is the winner right now, since the bet was made years ago and he bet it would take you guys years, whilst the others said months or a year max.
You guys “hang out” all the time, but its very much just dates without you guys admitting it is. Like going out to eat together, going to the movies, or you flying around with him in your arms just for fun.
You guys end up kissing when you’ve been hit with a pretty strong dose of kryptonite, and you were loopy and weak. You weren’t sure you would make it out, so you kiss him.
Of course, you survive, and try to ignore that anything actually happened since you still think he doesn’t like you in return, and you fear you might have ruined your friendship.
It doesn’t help that all his exes are so attractive and skilled that it makes you insecure. Dick isn’t doing well with you avoiding him, as you go as far as using your super hearing to avoid him.
It ends up being Wally or Conner who explains to Dick that you feel insecure and like you won’t be able to meet his standards, which Dick doesn’t understand because he thinks your so far out of his league.
He would want to talk to you, but again, you’re avoiding him. Dick ends up getting the help from teammates and probably even Clark as you can’t outfly your dad like you can some of the others.
Finally, you two get to talk it all through, tears or shed, both sad tears and happy tears. You both feel so stupid cuz you’ve liked each other for years, but neither of you realized or confessed.
It takes a while after you start dating for you not to feel insecure or like you can’t meet some invisible standard, but Dick being so insanely smitten as he is helps quite a lot.
Your teammates have definitely joked that Dick would kiss the very ground you walk on if you asked, not that you wouldn’t do the same though.
You two are so cute together its almost sickening honestly. Always near eachother, holding hands, cuddling, kissing. The amount of flirting you do over comms now that you are together is unbelievable.
You’re very happy, though the insecurity does pop up at times. Your families and friends are happy you two finally confessed too. And Roy won the bet and became a richer man.
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russo-woso · 3 months
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Hey, I have a suggestion for Jessie (feel free to write when available and if you like it ofc)
Jessie is heartbroken when moving to Portland and American reader helps her settle, takes care of the insegurities Chelsea left and she ends up falling because she was there as well to help her with Gold Cup and She Believes Cup. Reader is the first person Jessie oppened her heart to after being fucked over by her previous club and she's scared because she's falling hard
I’m here || Jessie Fleming
Jessie had found the move to Portland Thorns hard.
She felt many emotions from the move but the biggest one was insecurity.
She couldn’t understand why Chelsea didn’t want her anymore.
Was it that she wasn’t good enough?
Was she ever good enough?
Why wasn’t she good enough?
The only thing keeping her excited for the move was the chance to play with you.
She’d never officially met you but she knew you well enough to like you.
During the gold cup and the she believes cup, USA had played Canada and although both times Canada lost, you were the first one over to Jessie.
The same thing would always happen. You’d shake her hand and asks if she was okay and she would say congratulations on the win.
Since them moments, Jessie developed a small crush on you but it wasn’t anything major.
Then came the introduction to each other.
On Jessie’s first day, she was introduced to the whole team, a big smile appearing on her face once she met your eyes.
“Jessie, hi. I’m so glad you decided to join us.” You told her, hugging her.
“I’m glad I moved here too.” Jessie said, a hint of sadness behind her smile.
You didn’t know why Jessie was sad. You figured it was because she’d left her best friends in London, but all you did know, was that you were going to try your hardest to make her feel welcomed.
And so in order to do that, you figured the best way to start was to show her around the city.
After a few seconds of debating with herself, Jessie agreed and it was organised that you’d show her around on Saturday.
Later on that session, Jessie let a ball loose and shook her head in anger.
“Hey, hey, everyone does it. It’s fine. The last match we played, I let a ball loose by accident and it nearly resulted in the oppositions scoring. But I learnt from that mistake, that’s what we do here at Portland thorns. You make a mistake, and we help you fix it. You’re an incredible player Jessie, believe me when I say that. We’re all lucky to have you playing with us.” You told her, tears welling in Jessie’s eyes but she pushed them to the side, desperately not wanting to show any sadness to you.
Jessie didn’t know what to do, if she had done that at Chelsea, she would have been screamed at and told to do a lap.
“Thank you.” She murmured, her voice full of emotion.
After a week full of training, Jessie following you round everywhere like a lost puppy, it was finally time to show her around.
“Hi, Jessie.” You greeted her as she got into your car.
“Hi, how are you?” She said, a light red pigment spreading on her cheeks.
“I’m okay, it’s been a bit of a hectic morning, aka doing the food shop, but I’m happier now I’m with you. How about you? You done anything today?” You told her, reversing out of the driveway.
“Not much. Just unboxing some stuff and filling in paperwork.” Jessie responded, shrugging her shoulders lightly.
A silence filled the car and the light hum of the music took over.
You looked over at Jessie briefly, you could see the redness on her cheeks still present and the way how she fidgeted with her hands made it clearly evident that she was nervous.
You figured the best to make her less nervous was to get rid of the silence, desperately coming up with a conversation starter.
“So, the plan for this afternoon. First things first, we’re heading into the city, I’ll show you around, show you the best parking spots and the best, and I mean best, coffee shop in town. Then we’ll head to the Willamette River, and maybe show you shops along the way and then after that, I’ll show you my favourite spot in town. Of course, if you don’t want to do any of that, it’s fine. We can do what you want to do.” You explained but panicked towards the end as the thought of Jessie not liking anvy of the plan came to mind.
“That all sounds incredible. Thank you for this.” Jessie said, a grateful smile resting on her face.
“Seriously, it’s no problem. I would’ve just been watching movies all afternoon so you’re going me a favour.”
“So, first site on the tour, on your left you can see the…”
As you continued driving, showing Jessie all the important things of the city, you couldn’t help but notice the silence from Jessie.
Yes she was talking to you, but she was limiting her words, often saying one or two words each time.
You pushed it to the side, carrying on with the ‘tour’.
You’d finished everything you had to show Jessie except your surprise spot.
You drove up into the mountains, pulling to the left as you reached the top, reversing your car so the boot backed onto the view of the city.
It must have been reaching eight o’clock because there was a golden haze casted upon the mountains.
“It’s gorgeous up here.” Jessie said in awe as she looked at the city.
“It is, isn’t it?” You asked, looking at her.
You opened the boot, sitting down in it, gesturing for her to do the same thing.
Silence took over once more, but it was a comfortable silence this time.
There was no pressure to say anything.
You weren’t expecting Jessie to say anything but to your surprise, she did.
Taking a breath in, Jessie looked over to you before looking ahead again.
“I never wanted to move to America. I was happy at Chelsea. Well, that’s what I thought. I thought I had achieved the very best in my career being at Chelsea and maybe I had, but looking back now, I wasn’t happy there. Yes I had my friends, yes I had my life there, but I wasn’t happy.” Jessie’s voice broke as tears fell down her cheeks. “Chelsea said I wasn’t good enough, I was letting balls loose, Emma said that when I was on the pitch, the midfield was gone. When I was there, it was like I was a ghost, I didn’t make an impact. And that hurt. Ive spent my entire life trying to be the best I can and they couldn’t appreciate that. Niamh tried to get me to stay but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because Chelsea was hurting me and I couldn’t because the club that wanted me had this incredible woman that I’ve always wanted to know. So why would I say no? Why would I give up a perfectly good opportunity?”
“Jessie… I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise what you were going through. I’m sorry that Chelsea made you think all those things but you’ve got to believe me when I say they’re not true. You’re called baby Canada for a reason. You started playing for your country when you were 15. Do you know how impressive that is? And you were able to do that because you’re incredible at soccer. Jessie, please believe me.” You begged, wanting her to know the truth.
“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for everything.” Jessie hugged you, tears still falling from her eyes as she rested her head on your shoulder, still hugging you.
“Now, I want to know something. Who’s this girl that you’ve always wanted to know?” You smirked, having a rough idea on who it is.
“American, really good at football, the most kindest and loving person I’ve ever met. I think you might know her actually. I was lucky to spend the day with her today. She goes by Y/N, know her?” Jessie joked, a smile on her face.
“I’ve heard of her. Do you know what she told me recently. She said that there’s this woman that’s just moved here. Brown hair, brown eyes, ridiculously cute, and it just so happens that she really likes this woman. That woman goes by Jessie, know her?” You continued the joke, giggly lightly.
“Hmm, heard of her.”
You and Jessie looked at each other for a few seconds, both of you wondering what to do.
“Umm, thank you again for—” Jessie began, clearing her throat as she didn’t know what to do.
“Jessie? Just kiss me.”
Jessie didn’t need to be told twice, instantly connecting her lips with yours.
Chelsea was her old life, Portland thorns, and most importantly, you, was her new life.
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mobbu-min · 2 years
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☆ Pretty Boy ☆
(ft. the vice housewardens)
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requested by anon: the pretty boy hcs were so cuteee 😭💕 would you be able to do those for the vice leaders as well?
and
@crienosaur and @donuelle
a/n: i feel like this is all over the place, but i really enjoyed lilia's part. imma try to get the first years part out soon. also idk for the longest time i thought that jade and floyds last name was tweel and honestly idk where i got that from :/
characters: trey clover, ruggie bucchi, jade leech, jamil viper, rook hunt, ortho shroud (platonic) and lilia vanrouge
!tw! insecurities, grammar mistakes im too lazy to fix again
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Trey Clover <3
⋆ a deep chuckle came from Trey's chest. He may look unaffected but judging by the way his shaky hands cover his rosy cheeks tells a different story.
⋆ He's used to people thinking not much of him tbh. Trey knows he's considered attractive, he has a nice face, a nice body and a nice personality.
⋆ Nice, that's all he is. That's all he's ever been told. Not once has he ever looked at himself and thought pretty. Not a single time
⋆ But the way you sighed it out had him second guessing himself. Had him looking in the mirror and noticing a ton of things about himself he's never seen before.
⋆ Has his eyelashes always been so long? Lips so full and soft? Cheeks flushed a soft peach hue and kissed by the particles of the sun?
⋆ Trey, like many others, doesn't understand how you got to this conclusion at first. But maybe, for once, he'll be fine with being called something other than nice. 
⋆ Trey will happily settle for pretty.
"Hey there, Prefect! Hope I'm not interrupting anything but I've made too many sweets for the next Unbirthday Party, so I was wondering if you'll take them off my hand…Hmm? Ehehe, I didn't even plan it! I guess I accidentally made your favorite again."
(he did it on purpose fyi)
Ruggie Bucchi <3
⋆ You have a weird taste, Ruggie thinks to himself, staring at you with a rosy blush, his tail wagging behind him, But I am the cutest. 
⋆ Ruggie is in heaven. Him, pretty? He sure is. The prettiest to pretty. Ruggie’s another one that wants to rub it in everyone’s face. 
⋆ But he’s also intimidated by the possible meaning behind it. Does that mean you like him too? Ah! He’s getting excited just by thinking about it! But wait? Does that mean he’ll have to pay for stuff? Can’t you just-wait, nevermind, you’re equally as broke as him. 
⋆ Maybe you  won’t mind working shifts at Monstro Lounge together as bonding time? Perhaps? Please?
⋆ Ruggie balances on a thin line of screaming his lungs out and melting on the spot. Ruggie knows his appearance is…less to be desired by the vast majority. So for you to call him pretty so unabashedly, boy is he going to get that tattooed on his forehead.
⋆ But beware, he will bring it up in conversation. You are not spared from his teasing.
“Don’t give me that look. Doesn’t the pretty boy get the last bite~? Shishishi, I sure do love that look~”
Jade Leech <3
⋆ Confident, smug and annoying af. 
⋆ That’s the effect it had on Jade. You really shouldn’t have said his name, because this boy (eel? mereel?) will show his face the moment you say it. A stupidly scary smile on his stupidly pretty face. Scaring the living daylights out of you and everyone else nearby. 
⋆ Whisking you away like the gentleman he is. 
⋆ Really it’s just him taking you because you're too frozen in shock to do anything about it. 
⋆ Does he confess?
⋆ Kinda.
⋆ He takes you to the Monstro Lounge and gives you a free meal he cooked himself. So it’s really up in the air. 
⋆ Jade has never felt more pleased. Sure the scared look Azuls client gives him is nice. Or the feeling of finding extremely rare mushroom species is amazing. But being called pretty by the one and only Ramshackle prefect is another feeling entirely. 
⋆ Not only is it from someone he finds deeply amusing and pretty themselves. But he knows for a fact plenty of people are going to be incredibly jealous over this.
⋆ Ah, if only you knew the affects you had on them and most importantly, Jade.
“Please enjoy. I know that look and you have nothing to fear. There’s no cost to this meal… Oh dear, well, if you are not convinced, then how about this offer? (whispering softly) If you don’t enjoy this meal, I’ll personally take you out. Just you and me.”
Jamil Viper <3
⋆ Please tell him Kalim set you up? Or Azul, or anyone!
⋆ Jamil doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it if you were joking. You really need to take other people's feelings into consideration, Prefect. Don't you know it’s rude to pla- huh? You meant it?
⋆ Cue, Jamil hiding in his hood. 
⋆ This has never happened before. Well it happened once, but he had to reject her because she would be a distraction to his job, but let’s not talk about that. 
⋆ And Jamil is so used to not being seen. So, for you to excitedly shout how pretty he was without shame or hesitation, made him gasp in shock. Pretty, you think he’s pretty. 
⋆ Jamil would have just brushed it off (he’s lying, he wouldn’t) thinking that you were merely thinking of his outward appearance. Something he does take care of, but you just have to be full of surprises. 
⋆ Of course you decided to recount all the times he’s helped you, or made you food, or walked you back to your dorm, or- yeah you get the gist. You had no shame in saying despite all his flaws, Jamil has the best personality. That he’s pretty in the inside, as well as the out. 
⋆ Jamil had to sit down to recollect his emotions. Pretty outside and in. You saw him as pretty all round. You saw him. You recognize Jamil. 
⋆ Great Sevens, Jamil really fighting back his inner demons (crying, he’s fighting back crying) 
⋆ But that feeling immediately burst into a thousand fireworks simultaneously bursting in his chest. Igniting his body in warmth like the setting sun in the Scalding Sands. Like the curry his mother made for him whenever he felt ill. Jamil has never felt more at peace than he did now. 
⋆ All because of a simple six letter word uttered by you.
“Oh, you have something in your hair. Here let me get it for you…Hmm? He, are you ill? Your face is quite warm, Prefect. My hand feels like ice compared to your cheeks…Haha, my apologies, Prefect. I just think you look quite pretty, all flustered.”
Rook Hunt <3
⋆ Rook is swooning with joy! The prettiest person in his world thinks he’s pretty as well! (he ignored the part where you said weird after)
⋆ He is already down bad for you, so for you to call him pretty??? This man cannot contain himself. He’s truly fighting his inner demons.
⋆ Rook is incredibly quick to act on his feelings. Knowing him, Rook has already broken into your room layed roses all over your bed, lit scented candles and has some really over the top music playing in the background. 
⋆ It's sweet if you overlook the fact that he broke in. He truly is the most romantic person out of all NCR.
⋆ Makes you call him your ‘pretty boy’ and won’t respond to any other nickname.
"Ah! My pretty trickster! What did I say about calling me by my name? …Ah! How wonderful! I will never get over my name coming from your darling lips!”
Ortho Shroud <3
⋆ You think his brother is pretty! And him too!?!
⋆ Ortho’s over the moon! His favorite person (beside his brother) thinks he’s pretty! He already thinks of you like a big sibling, so Ortho's bouncing off the wall at your praise. It’s so cute, that he immediately zooms to you and hugs you so tightly. Exclaiming that he thinks you're pretty too!
⋆ He’s literally the sweetest! Please call him pretty again, Ortho will just explode in excitement. 
⋆ But don’t think you're safe. Just because Ortho sees you as a big sibling, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want it to actually happen. And what did you happen to say right before you called him pretty?
⋆ Yeah, you called his big brother pretty and you want to know something more? Well, his big brother has a crush on you, so do you want to know what role Orthos immediately takes on? 
⋆ Yeah, wingman. A pretty good one at that. 
⋆ You and Idia will know no peace. 
“Your heartbeat increased when you saw big brother right now! Is it because you said he was pretty? Hehe, don’t worry he thinks you're pretty too! But, you still think I’m the prettiest right? Yay! You’re the best!”
Lilia Vanrouge <3
⋆ Pleasantly surprised. A small pretty smile graced his lips and he placed a finger to his lips. Humming deep in thought. So you thought he was pretty? How intriguing. You’re truly full of surprises aren’t you?
⋆ Lilia actually finds it cute. Endearing really. Because who would have thought that you, a person from another world, would find him the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. He feels smug and overjoyed at the same time.
⋆ Like Rook, Lilia wasted no time in tracking you down and telling you he thinks you're really pretty too. He doesn’t want to risk you being taken by another. Nu-uh, no way!
⋆ Lilia has a…way with words. It’s kinda creepy, kinda concerning, but overall incredibly sweet! His little bat friends (children?) flutter around you, bringing you fresh fruit and flowers. They like you just as much as they like Lilia.
⋆ Afterall, you’ve made Lilia so happy, how couldn’t they?
“Kehehe, you’re truly full of surprises! I simply can’t get enough! But…(whispers) please do only refer to me as that my dear. Don't want anyone else taking what’s mine~”
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dinasfavslut · 1 year
Note
hello could you do a sal fisher x fem reader who is very confident but also really friendly?
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Ok so I tried but I wasn’t sure if you wanted smut or fluff I guess it’s just more fluff and to be completely honest is was kinda lazy with it I’m sorry it’s not my best but I hope you like it (probably will delete later)
Sally Face x Fem!r
No major warnings slight smut near the end but just like leaving marks and neck kisses
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I believe that he has many insecurities because of the trauma he experienced as a child and because of the mask he wears.
-
When you go to the beach, Sal normally doesn't get in the water; he doesn't want his mask to get torn or fly off by a large wave, and if he does, he makes sure it doesn't get above his knees.
-
As much as he adores you, he is also envious of your confidence and unaffected demeanor when you fall flat on your face in public. People fall all the time. So, if someone messes up your or his order when getting food, you call the waitress back so they may make the necessary corrections.
-
You met for the first time in college. You could say you were popular, but it was more about how kind you were and how many friends you had. You were well-known, but not everyone knew who you were or wished to be like you. So you were sitting in chemistry as the "popular" girl next to the "quiet" guy (it's always the quiet ones). "Woah, that's such a cool mask!"
"Oh, uh, thanks."
"Did you make it yourself or get it from somewhere?"
“It’s just prosthetic." He didn't want to give into too much information since he didn't want to scare you away too quickly. He was surprised you didn't ask him what the mask was for; that hadn't come up in a long time.
-
You've been dating for a few months but have only known each other for around a year."Don't you want to know why I am wearing this?"
"I mean, yeah, I've always wondered, but you haven't seemed at ease talking about why you wear it or what happened, but I think you'll tell me when you're ready."
It took him some time. He removed his mask totally about five months into the relationship. He was stunning. You couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair and kiss him like you'd wanted to for so long. His lips were surprisingly soft. Larry and Ash are the only people who have seen his face (his father is irrelevant). You're now staring at him in awe. "I knew you'd look lovely, but I really underestimated myself." He drew you back into the embrace. It was brimming with passion, love, hunger, and lust.
-
You feel like it was harder not to kiss him. Consider how many times he's wanted to pull off the mask and make out with you, but he couldn't be too concerned about how you'd scream in fright or slap him for leading you on for so long just to be mortified under his mask. He was well aware that they were ridiculous ideas.
-
It was dark and rainy outside, and he had planned to take you out to a nice meal. You had your hair done perfectly, your makeup was simple, highlighting your best features, and you wore a dress that accentuated all of your curves as well as a pair of sneakers to look attractive while remaining comfortable. He was driving with his headlights on, barely able to see due to the heavy rain. "Holy shit, Sal! Stop the car, Sal!" He pushed on the brakes, forcing himself forward as you jumped out of the car. A cat was frozen in front of the car; it was dark, wet, and shivering. You cloaked it in a hoodie.
Your hair was a mess, and what you thought was smear-proof mascara was running down your cheeks. "We don't have to go if you don't want us to."
“No no, I'll just put my hair up and clean my make-up." You walked into the restaurant, garnering strange looks as if you'd been living on the street. "sal table for two?"
The night finished with you leaving markings all over him and him biting into your neck, which was okay because you were willing to wear anything that claimed you as his.
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Text
Shared Moments...
Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru
The Cursed Trio | Living Waters
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...
Usually, you wouldn't mind time going fast. The faster it went, the closer to a break you got. But those two...when you were with those two, you begged the clock's hands to slow down. Swearing to give it anything it wanted, in return for just a few mere minutes. It didn't have to hours nor days nor months, not even years--- just a few minutes is all you asked for. Was that too much to ask?
You would never admit to them, especially not Gojo. But you've actually started to enjoy hanging out with them. They didn't even have to do anything, just being in their presence proved to be enough to scare away the aching loneliness that seemed to continuously plague you.
Back then, it never got this bad. Then again, you were easily able to speak to others. And while, the aid of Haibara and Geto have gotten you close to some kind of fluency, you still felt insecure enough to not speak publicly.
Not to say, you're silent as a lamb. (Iykyk) On the contrary, they've never seen you so talkative (not as in, you're being a chatterbox. It's just that back then you would utter out like a sentence or two depending on the person. The only time you spoke more than that was when you were cursing out Gojo in your native tongue. Now that I think about it, maybe that's why he annoyed you so much. That way he could hear you more. Huh.)
First year was turning out to be quite the breeze for all of you --- albeit, training sucked sometimes. To be more specific, training with Gojo was annoying. Not because you couldn't take it, more of a --- he just wouldn't stop talking!
It's like that's all he was born to do. Talk and talk and talk.
In spite of that, the silver fiend did have moments where his words would bubble out laughter out of you. He'd say something so out of pocket that you just couldn't stop yourself from laughing much to Geto's disapproval. (That's another thing you both have in common, you're both the literal incarnations of out of pocket shit. The both of you say things that would make the fucking Joker from Batman blush)
After training, you'd throw yourself besides Geto. Not too close, not too far. Just close enough to feel his warmth, and you'll just lay there for a moment. Taking in the sight of the blue sky and the dancing leaves...until Gojo proceeds to throw himself on you as always. The fucking bastard...
Eventually, he'd get off of you. Thanking you for being such a good cushion, to which you'll flip him off as you skip over to Geto, whom you've developed the habit of keeping a hold of at the ends of his uniform. It started out when they took you to one of Japan's major festivals, you don't remember which one, but what you do recall was the amount of anxiety you felt as you tried to transverse the crowds. Desperately trying to keep an eye on both their heads --- you were only so tall!
Next thing you know, you did it out of desperation. Not wanting to lose them again.
You'll never forget Geto's surprised expression that soon shifted into a genuinely sweet smile, one as soft as a cheery blossom petal. (Haibara actually took you to see these. This is where he told you to call him by his name)
Gojo likened you to a lost puppy, contrary to Ieiri's belief of you acting more of a cat (the others agreed you were more like a cat cuz I like cats better than dogs)
Speaking of Ieiri, both of you loved to go out shopping. She'd invite other girls from other schools to introduce, that's how you met Mei Mei and Utahime.
Surprisingly, you and Mei Mei seemed to get along. Mainly because your sense of fashion was incredibly similar. Elegant and timeless has always been the way to go. Also, you like money, she likes money --- what more could you ask for?
Also she spoke your language (she does business overseas to increase her profits so she makes it a habit to learn as many languages as she can. The more she knows the more opportunities she gets)
In a way, you understand her way of thinking. In spite of that, you disagreed with all of it. Good thing you knew when to keep your mouth shut, you had a feeling she'd be a lovely ally in the distant future.
As for Utahime, how could you not get along with her? The two of you fawn over cute animal cafes. She once took you to this Capybara one, as a treat for being such a good Kouhai, and you were over the moon. Mainly because you've never seen one and now you were feeding one!
This is actually the moment where Gojo crashed your hang out, stealing you away for serious big-boy business. You protested the entire way, shouting at Ieiri to give the other women your phone number just in case before letting yourself be whisked away by the toothpick
You glared at him, "Where's the rest of you?"
Cue in Geto greeting you with a bag of your favorite treats to make up for Gojo kidnapping you. Worked like a charm.
"Pig." "Shut up, Tampon." Cue Geto holding on to a table, laughing his ass off as Gojo stared at you over his sunglasses flabbergasted. You were the only person to ever leave him speechless, on multiple occasions.
He instantly burns red as he berates you, which you only roll your eyes at as you feast into your threats, "Says the mouthwash." Gojo and Geto look at one another, confusion written in their faces. Gojo speaks first,"Mouthwash?"
You hum in delight, nibbling on a mochi treat, "For the amount of women that had to suck you off and then spit it out like mouthwash."
Geto's not even in his chair anymore, he laughed so hard that he ripped the seat back and fell onto the concrete below. Gojo is now absolutely glaring at you with narrowed eyes, giving up when he couldn't think of a better come back.
When you get back to school, they have a tendency to escort you back to your dorm or if you're still feeling peckish, guide you to the question and hang around while you make yourself something to it. It's not even a conscious thing, they just do it out of sheer habit. The moment your eyes settle in the direction of the kitchen, they just know
There's a counter with some stools so they chill there, casually talking to one another about the most randomest of things while you dance around the kitchen gathering your ingredients
Gojo will steal some while you offer Geto some (and because you know Gojo likes to steal, you make it a habit to make a bigger portion.)
Often times, you can't really sleep so you like to wander about the school grounds. That's how you came across Nanami. He was sitting on a couch in the recreational room, wet towel over his eyes. He looked so tired, poor guy.
The moment he heard your footsteps, he snapped his head your way. Letting the towel fall onto his pants as his brain took a moment to charge enough to actually process your presence.
Even when tired, he's polite.
You have a fresh warm cup of some traditional drink from your home country, something that'll help you fall asleep and rather than drinking it yourself, you gift it to him. Of course, he'll reject. But we all know how stubborn you can be.
As he drinks, he'll actually talk to you about his day and the missions he had --- seems the more exhausted he is, the likelier he is to open his mouth.
Your drink helps him sleep whilst his voice lulls you to sleep
Eventually, the two of you fall into a routine of sorts. You'll find him trying to sleep in the recreational room, so you'll go and make him a drink from your home land. And as he sips on it, he'll talk until you fall asleep.
Nanami would be the first to wake up. Upon seeing you sleeping by his side, he'd pick you up. Quietly carrying you over to your down where he would tuck you into bed, whispering his thanks before leaving your room.
One time, Gojo caught the blonde in the act. Nanami had to calm him down before he destroyed the whole area. He happily placed you into the nuisance's arms, uttering a soft thank you to your sleepy ears, and left to go slumber.
Ah, your dorm room was simply just too far. Just the weight of you alone so hurting his arms (that's a lie if you ever knew one) ah, what are you saying brain? What about his dorm room? It is closer. In fact, it's right around this hallway that he's already been walking through since Nanami placed you into his arms.
There's barely anything in his room as he settles you down into his bed, draping a blanket over your figure. The velvety ones he knows you like (this isn't the first time, you found yourself asleep in his bed. The last time you were seeing god from all the amount of benadryl you took and somehow sneaked your way into his room. You will deny this day even to God himself)
You had made a comment that his sheets and blankets were just too scratchy. Not long after, all of his bed stuff had been replaced by satin and the good kind of cotton.
Setting his sunglasses on the nightstand beside the bed, he got ready to sleep.
Tugging the blanket up, he slid in beside you. An arm of his settling under the crook of your neck as talked a hand onto his sternum, feeling his heart under breath the fabric while you dreamt.
Even in your sleep, you shied away from complete touch. Yet you unconsciously allowed yourself the simple indulgence of a heart beat and the warmth of another besides your own.
The next day, when Geto woke up to wake his bestie up. He momentarily froze at the doorway before pulling out his phone to take a picture of the both of you. Snickering as he did so.
He'll always tease the both of you about that night, stating that he never took either of you as 'cuddle bugs'
And yet, the photo is his home wallpaper.
Hypocrite much?
...
(A/N): I have yet to sleep but I have no regrets. These two make me want to die.
Check out my masterlist for more The Cursed Trio content
Song Inspo: HOAX - into the blackhole
If you don't like being to touched, then why did you let Gojo touch you?
Huh, Mei Mei is an...interesting character. Wonder what we got there.
Drop a comment
Feel free to buy me a 🦩
Hope you enjoyed!
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sungbeam · 2 months
Text
𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞
demon!ji changmin x reader (no pronouns used, but original fic was f!reader)
love. — what is love if not your steady heartbeat in his ear when he thinks you should be afraid?
4.7k words, established relationship, demon/supernatural creatures au, mild angst, very minor humor, bit of fluff?, mentions of blood, so much intimacy (skinship, cheek/stomach kisses), mentions of insecurities, swearing, use of pet names (love, sweetheart)
read night terrors / peruse the collection post
a/n: this lowkey just became a character study of demon changmin
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THERE WEREN'T MANY INSTANCES where you were afraid for Changmin, nor were there many instances where you were afraid of him. You suspected that he strived to avoid either of said instances, especially regarding the latter. After all the two of you had experienced with one another, it seemed important to him that you could trust him and were not scared. 
It was difficult for him to fully accept that he did not frighten you in some way. Part of that reason, you guessed, was simply his awareness of how others viewed his species.
What was he but a mortal's night terror, a creature of evil?
To him, you should have been sleeping with a stake beneath your pillow—or rather, you shouldn't have had enough trust to sleep next to him at all. 
But several months under your relationship's belt was beginning to ease his concerns. The long drives up and down the state, chasing his strange assignments for work, had slowly become something he could look forward to. Sunshine or rain battering the windows, he would glance away from the dense fog outside to see you holding on desperately to the waking world, or feel your fingers curl around his hand when sleep stole you away. 
Most of the time, it wasn't too dangerous and you didn't mind tagging along with him. You'd grown used to the nomad lifestyle, seemingly content with spending a couple weeks in Moonstone Creek from time to time, and the rest of it with him. 
You loved him; you always made that clear. The ring on your right ring finger was proof that he knew that and reciprocated.
There were always, however, doubts. Changmin always had doubts. 
“—And I'll get that blueberry muffin creamer you liked yesterday, too.” 
Changmin broke out of the bubble he'd trapped himself in at the sensation of your lips against his cheek. This mortal body he had flushed at the feeling, his hand swift to stop you from leaving just yet, like an instinct. 
He wrapped an arm around your waist, and his face was level with your stomach from the chair he sat in. The hotels you usually stayed at on your routes always came with a desk and chair, so you could work on Moonstone Creek's finances or he could research. He pressed a kiss to your clothed stomach, his hand squeezing your waist affectionately. “Thanks, sweetheart.”
Your smiling eyes met his and you combed your hand through his hair once, twice. “I'll be back soon. You just keep your head in those books.”
He grumbled something against your stomach—‘I thought college was the last time I'd be pouring over texts’—and your laugh twinkled over his head. He hadn't even been paying attention to the texts he brought; really, his head was elsewhere today. 
“That's your fault for being an anthropology major and for literally chasing down ancient artifacts as your main source of income.”
“That was so unhelpful.”
Another comb through his hair. He could melt. “Just being honest,” you sang amusedly. “Okay, but I should get a move on. All their pastries are gonna be gone, and their danishes smelled really good yesterday.”
He hummed. “Stay safe.” Another kiss. 
Your hand settled at the nape of his neck. “I will. Love you.”
The words warmed in his chest. Just as you were pulling away, his grip tightened for a moment. “You have Clyde?” He couldn't let anything happen to you. 
“Yes—” you patted your jacket pocket, “—Clyde’s where he's always been. And Bonnie?”
“You know she's not moving,” he said, cocking a brow at you. 
You bit your lip through a small laugh and slowly moved toward the hotel room door, shoving your wallet and the room key into your pockets. “Okay. Happy reading then, love.”
“Unhappy reading,” he groaned into his hand, which was followed by your laugh and the door closing behind you. The corners of his lips lifted into a smile.
He counted a few seconds in case you had forgotten something, then went over to grab his phone from the nightstand. Settling on the edge of the bed, he pulled up the text thread he had between himself and Sangyeon. 
sangyeon: okay so don't freak out [sent an image]
sangyeon: but i found this lying around my house the other day, and i asked lily abt it and she said yn was on the fence abt showing u
Changmin could recognize your handwriting against Lily's in the picture. The image was a clear scan of a piece of paper, who's centerpiece was that of a house. It was a roughly drawn blueprint of a cottage, something small, cozy, homely. The house, as you outlined, wasn't large at all, but with one full floor, an attic, and a porch. There were notes all around the house in your familiar scrawl, writing about the projected cost of each thing—typical of you to think about practicality, even in your fantasy house blueprint—as well as features you'd like installed, like a fireplace and a porch swing.
It reminded him so much of Sena's house in the suburbs in a way… had you thought about this while you were there? A place you could call home, some place to settle down eventually, and finally have a slice of normalcy?
sangyeon: lily said she coaxed it out of yn, which is why yn didn't want to share it and make it seem like she was forcing u into anything u weren't comfortable w
sangyeon: but i think that u love her enough to hear her out
sangyeon: idk… it's ur call ofc whether or not u want to have that conversation yet
Changmin always had doubts. He'd learned during his time on the mortal plane to slow down and feel the weight of another's emotions, and what inevitably came with empathy was insecurity. 
You loved him; that was why his ring was on your finger and you would never bring up the cottage you confided to Lily about. You loved him, and knew that there was an unmistakable itch in him that could only be scratched when he was able to move, to not be chained to one place. But humans were different from demons, and your experiences were different from his. 
He always had doubts that you might never be fully content with this life he led. 
He sighed, massaging his jaw absentmindedly with one hand. Sangyeon had sent him those messages two days ago when you and he were driving to this sleepy town, tucked away at the foot of a mountain range. You'd been asleep when they were received, which was why you didn't see the notifications. Changmin could do as little then as he could now, and he basically replied to Sangyeon that he would think about it and talk to you. 
At some point. 
That was before he realized that it would be all he could think about. There was no word for 'selfish’ or 'selfless’ in demonic culture. It was either you did something to help yourself or harm yourself—usually, those who didn't act for their own benefit were thought of as weaker willed. It was difficult to dismantle methods of thinking like this in order to view the world and his interactions in a different way. 
Changmin abandoned his phone on the nightstand so that he could step over to the window and shove it open. The lever was rusty and squealed as he cranked it counterclockwise to let in the fresh pine morning and the natural white noise. 
Maybe this would help him focus on work or gain the courage to talk to you when you came back.
Changmin barely glanced up in time to see a blurry mass hurtling toward his face. “Shit.” 
He dropped to the floor.
A gleeful and tinny laugh like the rattle inside an aluminum can filled the room. The spike of shock in his heart was replaced very quickly with red, hot annoyance. 
“You have got to be kidding me,” he grunted, clambering to his feet, eyes narrowed on the pixie who had invaded his space. “Don't you fuckers ever knock?”
The pixie was only about a foot and a half tall, its translucent, membranous wings fluttering at the speed of a human eye's blink. This one in particular had a pair of orbs as dark as the lowest circles of Hell for eyes and two racks of jagged teeth lining its gums. The pixie buzzed around the room, careful to remain out of Changmin's reach. 
Fuckass supernatural mosquito….
“You hide your true form, demon,” its voice crackled like tin foil. “Naughty, naughty.”
Changmin's nostrils flared. “What's it to you, imp?”
“The darkness that lies deep within you—I can smell it—hear it.” The pixie zipped around the room over Changmin's head, and he gritted his teeth, attempting to clamp his hands around it. It squealed in delight, black eyes going wider and wider as if it could gaze straight into his soul. “What if we open the door, demon? Ah—I smell a human in this room!”
He stiffened. “You’re only smelling my human form,” he bit out.
“Must you need a reminder? I can smell your true form and I can smell lies.” 
Changmin stumbled back as the pixie flew directly in front of his face, then fluttered out of reach before he could snatch the piece of shit out of the air. The organ in his chest continued to hurtle toward overdrive—the pixie could smell you. The pixie could smell you. “I will rip the wings from your back if you even think about touching my human,” he growled. 
The pixie gasped, clapping its tiny, pale hands. “Oh-ho! The claws become you! Won't you show a little more skin, demon?” 
His eyes turned down to his hands, palms turned upward, the tips of his fingers turned an ash gray. Where his chipped fingernails had been, now sat a full set of dagger-sharp claws. He hadn't even realized he'd transformed them. 
“What color does a pixie bleed?” Changmin lunged for the pixie with his claws outstretched. 
The pixie dove out of the way, the claw just barely missing the edge of its leg. “Does your human taste divine?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Not very fun are you, demon?” The pixie whizzed past his ear, behind his head—Changmin whirled about on the ball of his foot. 
He slammed his palm forward, claws denting the plaster, nightstand digging into his thighs. As the pixie rose up toward the ceiling to stay out of harm's way, Changmin climbed onto the bed, determination coursing through his veins. 
“Would you like a riddle?”
Changmin swiped his hand, relishing in the splatter of clear liquid that glittered in the air—blood. The pixie's eyes widened, this time in fear. “Why would I want a riddle?”
A tremble marked the pixie's voice. “Twin halves of old, sealed by a third / like matches, they will spark the world to burn—” Its words were cut off as it swooped out of the way, its clear blood trailing behind it as Changmin's breathing grew heavier, eyes narrowing. “To save three—”
A loud crinkle, akin to a dozen small bones being crushed. A shrill shriek, nails on a chalkboard. A demonic smirk as he clutched a fragmented wing in his clawed hand. 
“You were saying?” he taunted, bringing the flailing pixie close to his face. Changmin couldn't deny the rush of deep, animalistic satisfaction that purred in his chest at his caught prey. Whatever this pixie had in mind for you would never come to fruition. 
“You're a fool to not heed my warning—” it spat, its agony spilling in glittery globs, “—such actions are so true to your species, my liege.”
The impact of the title came accompanied by a flurry of something bright yellow and fuzzy thrown right into Changmin's face. Alarmed, he dropped the pixie and scrambled to claw the dust out of his eyes and mouth. He spluttered and spat the substance onto the hotel room floor; upon hands and knees, he tried desperately to get ahold of his bearings. 
What the fuck was this stuff?
He could hear the blood pulsing in his ears, feel the transformation taking place. There was energy going toward places on his body to grow extremities he hadn't seen in years. 
No, no, no—
Changmin gagged on the pixie's dust, its acrid taste a reflection of the bitter effects to show. He screwed his eyes shut—willed his body to take control of itself. When his hands went over his head, he swore at the feeling of the twin horns curling out of his crown. 
Every one of his once-human senses were dialed to eleven. Voices and car motors and leaves crunching bombarded his ears; the intricately disgusting layers of odors in the carpet separated themselves beneath him. The sensations overwhelmed him from disuse. He held his head in his arms, panic weighing down and around his bones. 
When the transformation was complete, he was left in haggard breaths. His arms shook as he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, then to brace against the hotel bed. 
The pixie was gone, naturally, and likely escaped out the window from where it came in. 
Changmin splayed his clawed hands beneath him on the white sheets. 
He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind and reign in the sensations to focus on the most important ones. Everything else could be background for now; all he needed was—was that. 
There—it was faint, but approaching by the second. Humming.
It was a soft, familiar sound that curled around his taut spine with the tenderness of a lover's caress. A heartbeat followed, slow but steady and sure. The pattern was also familiar, accompanied by leisurely footsteps and the smell of dark coffee and pastries. 
If he could just focus on those sensations in particular…
Then the thought hit him like a truck. 
That was you. The voice, the heartbeat, the footsteps.
You would return at any moment and see him in this state. Changmin could practically feel the fear that would roll off you in waves (or was that his own?), and he lunged for the bathroom. 
He stumbled into the dark chamber, fearing the reflection he'd find in the mirror should he turn the light on. The door slammed shut behind him and that darkness enveloped him. 
There was your heartbeat again—ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum—still faint, but becoming clearer. 
Slowly, he raised his head up to face the mirror on the bathroom wall. The dooming sense of acceptance dulled his own reaction. 
Twin horns, onyx in color, curled out from the tufts of his hair, hard and unmistakable. His skin had taken on the grayish tint of his kind from the black blood that now ripped through his veins. There were the claws, of course, and the slim, wiry tail speared at the end with a sharp spade and a mind of its own. Fangs, jagged and like small knives, peaked their points out past his lips, and he snapped his mouth shut to keep the forked tongue from tasting air. His eyes had become that of a predator's, the pupils dark as night and slimmer in shape—all the better for a deeper field of focus. 
In Hell, the consistent lack of bright light made it so that pinpoint eyes were sought after; it was better to see in the dark and pick apart the deep shades of red, black, purple, and blues. And, well, any sudden movement. 
Changmin didn't know why he tried to fool himself into thinking keeping the bathroom lights off would change anything. 
Your heartbeat was coming closer, louder. His breathing was beginning to even out as he matched his own to the sound of air rushing through your trachea, then exhaling through your nose. 
He could get himself back to his human form before you got back. He could do it—he swore he could. 
Focus.
It required so much focus and energy, but… but he could do it. He could do it before you saw him like this, before that calm heartbeat became erratic, and you became afraid—afraid of him. 
His breathing deepened as he sucked in a lungful of oxygen. In… out. 
Going from demonic form to human form in the mortal plane would be easy. 
It should have been easy. 
Seconds passed, and your footsteps approached from down the hall. There came the crinkle of a paper bag, shuffling of cardboard, as you shifted things in your hold to grab the room key from your pocket. The aroma of the pastries and coffee you brought back wafted into his nose, but not with the strength that your scent permeated every one of his senses—
Why couldn't he shift back? 
He curled his hands into fists on the counter, frustration making his fangs scrape against each other. 
Why wasn't he able to shift back? It was supposed to be easy—
The door outside clicked open and fell shut. “Changmin? Hey, I'm back.”
He stilled. The words to call back to you were lodged in his throat, unable to form upon the accursed forked tongue in his mouth. Panic seized him by the ribcage and he suddenly found it suffocating to breathe. 
There was silence on your end, and he could hear your heartbeat slowly begin to quicken. “Are you—are you okay? The wall's dented, and the—and the sheets…” 
Your footsteps arrived before the bathroom door, and at the same time he heard the door handle jiggle, he slammed his hand against it to bar you from coming in. 
Changmin could feel your leap of fright; his shoulders sagged with regret. It probably wasn't the best idea to do that. “Don't—” he cleared his throat from the grittiness there, “—don’t come in.”
Your heartbeat calmed then, after hearing back from him. “I won't,” you promised. “Is everything okay?”
I look like a monster. Some dumb fucking pixie made it so I can't shift forms. And I can't lock the stupid door because my nails are too long. 
But you didn't need to know all of that. 
He hung his head, attempting to feel that tendril of power in him that he could grapple onto to trigger the transformation. Nothing. “I'm… I'm fine,” he choked out. “I—” 
The corded necklace that was hidden beneath his shirt swung out into his view. His half of the pendant was not pulsing with life like yours was; it was connected to your heart, after all. But he curled his fingers around it nonetheless, his ears singling out your pulse. 
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum...
“... Changmin? Can I do something to help?”
He needed time. Fuck, he just needed to wait this stupid pixie dust out. His first thought was to send you away so you wouldn't see him at all. The next was a counter to the former—he needed your pulse. That was his anchor. 
The energy was slowly seeping from his bodily stores to sustain this form in this realm. Maybe if the pixie dust didn't wear off, he could tire his body into transforming. 
Your voice came out even softer. “Hey, what's going on, love?”
His forehead hit the door, eyes fluttering shut. “I'm not… I don't look like myself right now.” The self you're used to, at least. “A pixie came into the room and—and it threw something at me to force me to transform.”
“Into…?”
There was a light thump sound from the other side of the door as you leaned against it. Your warmth radiated through the wood, and the little monster inside him leaned into it. “My demon form.”
Changmin loathed the silence, your held breath. The acceptance washed over him in a deafening wave like his head was being held underwater. 
“Okay,” you exhaled, finally. “That’s okay… and so you're not able to turn back, is that it?”
His eyes couldn't help but narrow. “You're not scared.” The scent rolling off you wasn't that of fear. 
“Why would I be scared of you?”
Changmin's breath shuddered. There were plenty of reasons for you to be scared once you saw him. This body was made to harm. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
“I'm not scar—”
“I could hear it from the street, Yn.” He didn't know what to do about the leap in your pulse, the way that steady ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum tripped over itself. Something at the back of his mind urged him to continue—to tell you everything and convince you to be scared. “I can feel the heat from your blood and smell the hotel soap on your skin.”
A beat passed. “That doesn't scare me.”
If you were anyone else, he would have laughed in your face. Foolish, foolish human. But you weren't just anyone else, and he couldn't get your terror out of his head. 
When he didn't say anything for a moment, you murmured, “Love, can I come in? Can I see you?”
Changmin swallowed. “I don't want to scare you.”
“I know—but I trust you.” Your hand warmed the door handle on the other side, the soft clink of his ring against the metal echoing through the material to reach him. “Do you trust me?”
(If demons ultimately were motivated to do things that would help them, then he should open the door. To his brethren, a human willingly walking into his clutches was a mark too easy not to lose. But the reason they would want you to come in through the door was nowhere near the same reason he wanted you to. 
If demonic culture didn't have a word for selfish or selfless, then what was this?)
He leaned his weight off the door. 
With his body mostly hidden behind the slab of wood, he carefully cracked the door open, his claws wrapped around the outside, so you would be fed his demonic form gradually. You'd seen the claws before when he'd gouged a siren's eyes out. But your eyes drank in the ashen skin around his features—death incarnate—from the slits of his irises to the spirals of ebony piercing out of his head. 
Your heartbeat took off, galloping wildly as he revealed more and more of himself while you stepped into the bathroom. The thunderous rush of your blood echoed in his own ears; it was a tantalizing sensation. 
There was a nervousness to your movements. Your lips were tight, hands slightly shaky. But above all else, your eyes remained tender and worried, and he might have fallen to his knees if he wasn't clutching the door. 
“Do you want to close the door?” You asked. 
Even now, you wanted to accommodate him. He gave a small nod, but added, “Can you—can you turn around?”
You dipped your head once, then turned your back to him. 
(So much trust… When did he earn all of this? From what did he deserve to have your back to him in this context? He could slit your throat in a blink, but you would throw yourself into Hell if he asked.
If demonic culture didn't have a word for selfish or selfless, then what was this?)
Changmin closed the bathroom door and swallowed everything into darkness once again. He could hear your shallow breathing; you were trying to keep it steady, because you knew he could hear it as clear as a bell, but it wouldn't fool him. 
He took a step closer—then faltered, as he reached a hand out for your shoulder. He retracted his hand to his side. “You can turn around.”
Eyes watched as you slowly turned your body back around. You were fidgeting around with his ring, twisting the dark metal back and forth, as you lifted your eyes up and down his form. 
There was that catch in your breath again. Changmin's shoulders were so tense, he couldn't decide if that was from how high-strung he was or from the energy steadily being spent from his body. He'd probably last about another hour or two before collapsing. 
The bathroom was deafeningly quiet, with only your breaths and heartbeat keeping his insecurities company. He wanted to shrink into the collar of his shirt under your gaze, eyes blown wide as the moon. As you soaked him in, his eyes roved over your face—searching, searching, searching. 
At last, you tried for a soft smile. “You don't scare me.”
“I don't?” But he couldn't smell fear on you, couldn't make out any clear displays of it. He'd looked for them all. Your heartbeat had calmed, but your expression had never lost that something. 
(Was this love?)
You stepped forward once, and then again, until you stood with your toes touching and noses almost brushing. You shook your head and reached up to brush your thumb against his cheekbone. 
So warm… so gentle. 
His fangs gleamed in the dark when his lips parted. “You've been through so much,” he croaked. “Don't I look like them?” Them, the few creatures who had made you go on the run in the first place? Did creatures like him not haunt your waking world and nightmares? How could you bear to sleep next to him at night?
“If you're trying to convince me you're a monster, then it won't work.” Your fingers trailed down the plane of his face and he reached up to grasp onto you before you could retreat. “Does it hurt?”
At that question, he couldn't help the small, raspy laugh that bubbled out of his chest. 
“What?” You asked, the corners of your mouth lifting upward. 
“It's no—” he shook his head, his tongue darting out to slip over his lips. His fingers rearranged around yours and held them close to his chest, his thumb finding the familiar characters of his name wrapped around your digit. “—nothing. I just… you still care.”
Confusion flickered over your face, but was swiftly replaced by something softer. “Of course I still care.”
“I could hurt you.”
“You could have hurt me a long time ago.” But you haven't. 
Changmin swallowed again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from your palm wrapped in his. “No, it doesn't really hurt,” he whispered. “I just can't sustain this form for very long.”
Your eyes shone. “How long?”
“A couple hours at most,” he said, fangs grazing his lip. “I'm trying to wait out the pixie dust—”
“Pixie dust? Aren't you supposed to be flying?” Your grin was flooring, but he managed not to falter. At his deadpan expression, you patted the back of his hand. “Sorry, don't get your horns in a twist.”
“Yn—”
“It was right there; I had to.” 
Even he couldn't suppress the curl of lips for long. He just… Hell, he just loved you. Even if he now had slits for pupils and knives for teeth, nothing could mistake the blatant fondness in his features. His eyes could be pitch black, but he would still find a way to express silently how much he adored you. 
You pursed your lips, the mirth leaving your face for a second. “Do you need blood? How long until the pixie dust wears off?”
“I'm not sure, but I'm not taking your blood.” He sent you a pointed look when you opened your mouth to retaliate. “It's like you have a death wish from the amount of times you've offered me blood. I'm not dying, sweetheart.”
“You could be…”
“Technically, I'm undead—”
You rolled your eyes. “Okay, whatever.” Your nose wrinkled up for a second, and then you were wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his shirt. “You’re still Changmin to me. You're still the guy I'm in love with.”
His arms came around your form and he tucked his face into the crook of your neck, careful to keep his horns from hitting you. He suffocated himself on the feel of your skin, the subtle bump in your pulse just beneath the surface. Despite everything, you still trusted him enough to put his teeth so close to your scars. You didn't run away from him, from the true him. 
(Was this love?)
He wanted to hold you here forever. His human. “I love you.”
Your body tensed in surprise, and it nearly chased him away until you squeezed him tighter. He felt your lips against the place his human heart would have been. Changmin always had doubts, but you were so good at calming them. “I know.”
And haven't you always known?
Changmin had known, too, even if he'd searched long and hard for the doubt. All this time of sharing your space, your warmth, your company—he knew. 
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a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed!
night terrors fic / collection
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @lotties-readings @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @gluion @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @bjnet
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vandal-flower · 4 months
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Can You Keep a Secret?
Ror men with a Male lover that they never told anyone about.
Requested Characters: Various.
Notes: I just had to make a comeback, apperantly Thor is spitting BARS.
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They don't plan on telling anyone.
Convincing him is going to be the hardest challenge in your life. He's as stubborn as donkey, one would say.
You look at him with the most deadpan look known to man, trying to convince him to listen to you, only to be met with a, "No".
It's not like he's scared, he just doesn't like the thought of people knowing you two are in a relationship. You don't know whether he is insecure, possessive, or just his personal preference. Either it's fine, what matters is you two.
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Poseidon, Hermes, Thor, Hades... + your favourites.
No one would believe them.
It's hard to believe that someone like him ended up with someone like you. Sometimes as insult and others not so much, it just doesn't make sense to most.
At most times, deities and people alike would stare at the both you, (mainly you), because how are you two even compatible, how can you even stand each other.
It's best to play everything off as a rumor, if you don't want any reporters coming to your place, trying to interview you. It's a good thing your lover left at the backdoor way unnoticed.
Loki, Thor, Ares, Buddha, Hercules ... + your favourites.
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Sorry ladies he's taken.
Prepare to make the local goddesses and ladies weep in their sleep. You took away their chance of being with the man of their dreams.
You better be ready for the moment some girls decide to lunge at you to pummel you down, only to be chastised by your one and only lover.
Currently you hold the Universal Record of the Most Assassination Attempts against you. You have your in laws to thank for protecting you throughout the whole ordeal.
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All of them. (who are we fooling.)
Everyone already knows, don't even bother.
A good majority of the Pantheons already knows the relationship you two have. So much for keeping it a secret.
Even if you told everyone now, no one would be all that surprised. The two of you are two peas in a pod, a couple made in heaven. Or hell depending who you're talking to who.
Just expect many of the other Pantheons to bombard the two of you on when's the wedding. In due time, in due time.
Hercules, Ares, Loki, Shiva... + your favourites.
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Hi...
My inbox is open. Check out my Rules.
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stephstars08 · 4 months
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Drunk Mishap
Ethan Landry x Reader
Warnings: Minor Adult Language, Trust Issues, Cheating Mentioned, Alcohol, Drunk!Reader, Ethan Helps Reader Change Into Different Clothes, Some Sexual References, Anxiety, Reader Has Panic Attack, Insecurities, And Possible Grammar Errors. (Sorry If I Forgot Any!)
Summary: Y/N has feelings for Ethan but she’s too scared to tell him how she feels due to her past relationships. However, one drunken night changes that.
Word Count: 1,717
Author’s Note: Sorry it took me so long to post this. I just hadn’t gotten the energy to type this up. Also something always comes up that just takes up all my energy or attention. Sorry this is a little chaotic, I was rushing with this one so trust me it’s not perfect but at least I got something posted!
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Three months ago Y/N met a boy named Ethan Landry. Y/N goes to Blackmore University in New York City. Her major is film since she wants to be a director. That’s how Y/N met Ethan’s roommate sister named Mindy since they share many classes together. Y/N really connected with Mindy so that’s how she got into the friend group that of course featured Ethan but also featured Mindy’s twin brother Chad, Mindy’s girlfriend Anika, and Tara who has been best friends with Chad and Mindy ever since they were kids. Once in a while Tara and her older sister’s roommate named Quinn would hang out with the group, too.
Y/N fit in perfectly with the friend group but right when she laid eyes on Ethan something just struck her. When her eyes met his brown eyes she just felt something shoot through her body and the feeling was something she had never felt before. As time went on the more Y/N was around Ethan the more she felt those butterflies fly around in her stomach. Y/N knew that she was growing feelings for Ethan because all he had to do is look at her and her heart rate would speed up. Y/N feels like Ethan feels the same way about her since he flirts with her but due to Y/N’a insecurities and trust issues she’s too scared to tell Ethan how she feels.
Y/N’s last two relationships ended with her getting her heartbroken due to her former boyfriend’s cheating on her with someone else. Even though Y/N knows that Ethan is nothing like her two time cheating exes, that tiny bit of doubt just over powers her positive thoughts. Mindy, Tara, and Anika know about Y/N’s feelings for Ethan but she just denies it and brushes them off. They don’t know about Y/N’s trust issues since she doesn’t talk about her past relationships since they just bring up bad memories. When she thinks about the past it makes her feel all that heartbreak all over again.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
It was a Friday night so of course that meant Y/N is at a college party with the friend group. Y/N was so happy to have a night out since she had been so stressed out due to her classes. Right when Y/N walked through the door of the frat house she immediately started taking shots. Y/N was already drunk after just being at the party for an hour. Ethan didn’t even know that Y/N was completely wasted till Tara came and got him and showed him her. Tara, Mindy, and Anika had been trying to convince Y/N to let them take her back to her dorm but she just brushed them off. That’s why Tara got Ethan since the girls are hoping that Y/N will listen to Ethan and let him take her back to her dorm. Ethan made his way over to Y/N.
“Y/N, I think it’s time for you to call it a night.” Ethan told her. “But I’m just getting started.” Y/N told him with annoyance in her voice. No one has seen Y/N get this drunk before. She’s gotten drunk before at parties like this but at least she was still aware of her surroundings. Y/N went to walk past Ethan but she tripped over her own foot. Ethan quickly grabbed her so she wouldn’t fall face first onto the hard wood floor. “Y/N, you can’t even walk.” Ethan told her. “I’m fine.” Y/N told him. “No, you’re not fucking fine!” Ethan told her in a stern tone putting his foot down. “You need to go lay down so please let me take you back to your dorm.” Ethan added. Y/N just stared at him since half of her wants to stay and the other half says she needs to go back to her dorm. “I don’t want something bad to happen to you.” Ethan told her with concern in his voice. Once Y/N noticed the worry look in Ethan’s brown eyes she knew he was right so she gave him a nod telling him he can walk her back to dorm.
Ethan let the girls know that he’s going to take Y/N back to her dorm and told them to let Chad know what he’s going to do just in case he comes looking for him. Ethan walked Y/N out of the noisy frat house. As they walked together to her single dorm room Ethan had one of his arms wrapped around her waist so that she doesn’t lose her balance or trip over her feet or something else. Even drunk Y/N is still feeling the butterflies in her stomach go crazy by Ethan’s arm around her waist.
They walked inside the building Y/N’s dorm is in and walked down the hallway to her door. Y/N has a dorm all to herself. Y/N pulled her keys out her pocket and tried to unlock her door. “Do you want my help?” Ethan asked which made her let out a groan of frustration. “Yes.” Y/N said handing him over the keys. Ethan let go of Y/N’s waist and unlocked the door. After he opened the door he let Y/N walk inside the dorm and then he followed her. Ethan put her keys down onto the dresser right next to the door and closed the door shut.
“Do you um need me to help you get changed into something more comfortable?” Ethan asked her with a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Oh, yeah could you. It probably be easier.” Y/N said with a sigh. She was already feeling sleepy. “Yeah, yeah um of course.” Ethan said trying to shake off all his nerves. He walked over to her dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants. When Ethan walked over to her bed and set the clothes down onto it he could feel his heart racing so he took a deep and calming breath. He was hoping Y/N didn’t notice his nervousness. Ethan helped Y/N get out of the clothes she was wearing and into the t-shirt and sweatpants. Every time Y/N felt Ethan’s hands brush against her bare skin she would get goosebumps along her skin.
After Y/N was fully changed Ethan helped her get tucked into her bed. He could see the tiredness in her eyes. “There all comfy.” Ethan said after he draped her blanket on top of her body. “Thank you for taking care of me.” Y/N told him. “It’s no problem Y/N.” Ethan told her with a reassuring smile. “You’re so sweet. No wonder I have feelings for you.” Y/N just blurted out in a tired voice. When she said that Ethan’s whole body went into shock.
Did he hear her right? He was at war with his thoughts. Was what she just said true. He knows she’s completely wasted and tired. When Ethan finally came up with something to say Y/N was already asleep.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
When Y/N woke up the next morning her head felt like it was hit by a baseball bat. She lazily got out of her bed and took some medicine to relieve the pain she felt in her head. Y/N has no memory of the night before. She just remembers showing up to the party and taking shots. After that it was all just a blur. She doesn’t even remember how she got back to her dorm. Y/N was about to call Mindy so she could recap the night there was a knock at the door. Y/N walked over to her door and opened it to see Ethan standing there. “Hey.” Ethan said in a soft tone with a small smile. “Hi, um what are you doing here?” Y/N said obviously surprised to see him. He usually calls or texts her before coming to her dorm. “I wanted to stop by and see how you are feeling.” Ethan told her. “Can I come in?” He asked her in a curious tone. “Oh, yeah sure.” Y/N said stepping to the side so he could walk in. Once Ethan was inside her dorm she shut the door.
“I’m guessing you were the one that took care of my stupid drunken ass.” Y/N said with a sight turning around to face him. Ethan gave her a nod. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?” Ethan asked her. “Last thing I remember is drinking my fifth shot of vodka.” Y/N answered him. “Ethan, did I do or say something last night?” Y/N asked sensing something going on. “After I got you into your bed you told me that you have feelings for me.” Ethan told her which made her heart drop to her stomach. “Oh my fucking gosh.” Y/N said with panic quickly taking over her body. She ran both of her hands through her hair. “Were you telling the truth or was it just the alcohol?” Ethan asked her. That question has been going through his head ever since last night. When he woke up this morning he knew he needed to know the answer to that question. “No, it wasn’t the alcohol.” Y/N answered knowing she can’t hide the truth no more.
“I know I should’ve told you but I let my stupid fucking trust issues get in the way of me telling you.” Y/N told him with frustration in her voice. Before Ethan could say anything she spoke again. “And I know you are not like my ex’s who are complete dicks but I just couldn’t get those fucking negative thoughts out my head.” Y/N told him. Ethan knew she was starting to have a panic attack so he walked closer to her and connected his lips with her lips. Y/N was surprised by the kiss but eventually returned the kiss. All of the panic she felt going through her body quickly melted away. They released from the long awaited kiss so they could catch their breaths.
“I have feelings for you, too.” Ethan confessed to her. “We can take it slow if you want to. I know it’s hard to get past infidelity.” Ethan told her as he put one of his hands onto her cheek which made her lean into his soft and comforting touch. She always feels comfort by his touch. “We can take it slow.” Y/N told him with a soft smile.
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modawg · 5 months
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omfg i just accidently deleted an ask abt percy being suicidal when i was trying to respond WTF bruh im so sorry but this is for you i hope you see this it was anon sorry pookie
the q was simply “is percy suicidal?” and asking for context
ok so basically no one has every come out and said “percy is suicidal” rick has never said this through what i know HOWEVER
it is smth that is deeply written into the text of the series not that he’s actively grabbing a knife or smth but that he is VERY prone to this line of thinking
many ppl point to the beginning of pjo when percy would pretty often talk abt dying and wanting to die or allowing himself to drown or just dark humor in that way; when i first started reading it was smth i never really noticed as anything other then a dramatic tween but once you get to hoo (along with looking at the amount of insecurity and low self esteem percy has in pjo) it kinda hits a limit
in hoo there’s an entire scene where after getting out of tartarus he’s fighting some bitch i forget who (polybotes) and gives up not trying to protect himself when he was literally in his element and later admits to jason that he thought he deserved to choke on poison
and DIE like it’s not like he’s saying “meh yeah i thought i’d give up and give them a chance 💯💯” like he is fully aware that stopping would kill him and he was going to allow that to happen
you could also pair this with percy almost drowning both himself and annabeth in tartarus with this; after they land in cocytus (river of depression literally) annabeth (though extremely distressed) has a pretty decent time swimming and staying alive in the water after the initial shock however percy almost fully gives up pulling them under and is much harder to break out of the “spell” (the voices)
a lot of this can be chalked up to traumatic events being tired or scared or all three but an easy gateway to suicidal ideations can stem from those things and percy’s been dealing with all of those the majority of his life
so yes and no if you want to say percy isn’t be my guest ? but this aspect of his life is such an interesting thing to pull apart because his reactions to the things he’s had to live through is one that’s extremely human and i feel like really breaths life into the sort of “reality” these characters live (if that makes sense lmao)
i feel like that last para sounded rude im not trying to be but idk how else to word that LMAO
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and here’s the quotes (i recommend rereading pjo for the early stuff bc i’m not picking that apart but if someone else wants to they can)
if there’s anything else lmk and i won’t delete it next time i swear :(
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weebsinstash · 8 months
Note
Now that I saw that doodle Vox made again, I'm just wondering how tf he knew Alastor has hooves
Also noticed that he was a lil fixated on Al's ass in that same doodle so there's that :>
I literally searched the Hazbin wiki for the source and couldn't find it but I've seen multiple people posting some screenshot of some website that says, Velvette previously stated Vox had an Alastor body pillow, and I don't know if that's an old Voxtagram post or more recent but it's been living in my head rent free ever since
Like there have been so many Viv streams and q&a's that have mildly spoiled things or mentioned facts that have since become non canon so I'm not sure what to listen to anymore but dude, reading the wiki of all the amalgamated facts is A TRIP. Vox is Actually Totally Correct: despite Alastor having his gentlemanly persona and some weird "serial killer moral code, like dexter", he canonically has awful oral hygiene and both Vivzie and... Fautisse? Have mentioned this. His demon form has black gums. Vivzie said he "probably doesn't prioritize oral hygiene" and also probably wasn't a cannibal in life so that's literally a new hobby he picked up in death so also um. THE SECOND THIS MAN HAD FREE REIGN AND THERE WAS NO RULE OF LAW OR CONSEQUENCES HE DECIDED TO START EATING PEOPLE SO LET THAT SINK IN.
You start reading Alastor's wiki page and it makes it pretty clear he's like DERANGED, hypocritical, he's like borderline a megalomaniac? It's all hidden behind this, persona, this wall he puts up, his well put together demeanor that allegedly never cracks, but underneath his showmanship he's a haughty, insecure, judgy, gossipy, genuine FREAK who responds with insults and violence whenever he can who relishes in trolling people and scaring them, literally enjoys knowing when he's making people uncomfortable
I have so many conflicting feelings but like PRETTY SURE HIS VERSE IN THE FINALE WAS A VILLAIN SONG, HE'S LITERALLY SINGING ABOUT BEING PISSED AND WANTING TO RETALIATE BECAUSE HE'S BEING FORCED TO DO STUFF HE DOESN'T WANT TO
THUS
I AM CONVINCED VOX IS JUST A BOTTOM AND A SLUT WHO THINKS ALASTOR IS JUST REALLY COOL AND HAS A ONE SIDED PATHETIC BOY CRUSH
Bro the sound I fucking made when his wiki trivia says he's been described as "painfully white, like phlegm in the back of your throat white" NO DONT DO MY TV MAN LIKE THIS 😭🤣
Anyways, you've probably seen the posts but for someone who claims to be so hip and modern, Vox goes out of his way to dress similarly to Alastor. The coat with lapels in the front and a tail in the back, a bow tie with a cravat, cuffed sleeves, intentionally or not the color contrast of Vox's hands resembles Alastor's and Vox CAN customize his body...
He's just. I just completely forget sometimes that Alastor literally called him OLD PAL in episode 3 and yes he was obviously saying it to talk down to him but like ALASTOR DID ACKNOWLEDGE HISTORY BETWEEN THEM, and also oh wait what's this, Vivzie has confirmed Vox and the Vees are major antagonists of Season 2 and that Vox and Alastor's history is going to be expanded upon so.... radiostatic shippers stay winning ha ha
I read a post that I meant to reblog that was something like "Vox is actually an incredibly cunning charismatic manipulative businessman who is a legitimate threat and we see this for all of 5 minutes and the second Alastor is mentioned he starts completely coming apart" and it's SO TRUE, he can be ur angel or ur devil. He's a legitimately OP threat and he's also A PATHETIC SAD FAILHUSBAND. Give me Vox who's efficiently marketing more hypnosis equipment to substantially grow his own wealth and manipulating his shareholders and then he's going back to his computer room with some popcorn and kicking his little feeties as he watches his darling and Alastor on like 30 different monitors. Give me Vox who can know the INSTANT someone is trying to go behind his back and double cross him because he has mass surveillance all over the city and he's using his endless resources to develop high end 3d printers to make posable figures of his crush and Alastor.
Give me Vox who loses his cool and insults you to your face and you two get into a huge argument and maybe Velvette and Valentino lash out at you in defense of him and he's going to his room and crying from frustration into his body pillows totally not plural, totally not ones of you and Alastor and calling himself a stupid idiot because he hurt your feelings and then spends the next like week SUFFOCATINGLY showing up almost every single place you are and embarrassing himself as he tries to bond with you and prove to you what CLEARLY AWESOME boyfriend material he is
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judasgot-it · 1 year
Note
I’m in love with your writing like omg🩷could i request what kind of lovers are Dazai, tecchou and Nikolai?
(english is not my mother tongue so i dont mean cheat btw…)
IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET TO THIS ASK FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND AAAAAA
I have SO many headcannons about these fools oh lord. Also hoping I got what you meant cuz I won't lie I am a bit SILLY.
Headcannons: what kind of lovers are they? Dazai, Tecchou, Nikolai
Dazai
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He sees his own misery inside of you, which he thinks is romantic. He thinks its beautiful that the two of you can understand each other's suffering in a way no one else can.
I don't think I need to state that while this is romantic in a literary sense, it's a major red flag
Dude would 100% want to do things that he thinks are "romantic" for couples to do together.
For example - murder-suicide, robbing stores together, double-suicide, arson, planning each other's funerals-
Man has a sick sense of romance and death
But he can be romantic!! Sometimes.
Despite being young he knows how to actually take care of his lover - at least in technicality
What he really enjoys, however, he has to suppress
That cold cold sick heart of his wants to isolate them, keep them away from everyone - but he knows that isn't really a human thing to do
So the type of lover he really is the kind of guy who can really only bond over either sex or when you're drunk/sad over the past
dude wouldn't even be able to have sex without crying or would have to do it in the dark, like he just gets too emotional and insecure
100% obsesses over your own trauma and will take any time he can to talk about it - but never his own
sorry dude has red flags ALL over in my mind, I just don't think he would do happy stuff because he would think it's very fake
He can't enjoy any happy occasion, especially dates
definitely thinks weed, deftones, and sex is a good date
Don't date this man if you try to break up with him he will come to your doorstep whimpering and crying telling you that he's gonna kill himself and that you're the only one for him even though he cheated on you
he just strikes me as a messy kind of person
Tecchou
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Wants to be your hero. He knows your strong - but he wants to be strong for you. You deserve to be protected from the dangers of the world.
He believes in justice and is a MASSIVE dweeb for "playing the hero"
Man has good intentions that are EXTREME
So yea, he is a bit of an extreme lover
If he can, he'll protect you from anything. It's just his thing
He will try to eradicate all of your fears. Scared of the dark? Your house is brighter than the sun. Scared of bugs? sad, but he will chase them away.
Does this mean he's good at romance? Not really. He'll do anything you tell him too though
Literally anything. Almost. He wouldn't kill someone, but yea that man would 100% try a lot of weird and freaky shit.
would also not care if you weren't into sex. pretty sure that if he likes someone he is just LOYAL lol
although tbh he doesn't strike me as the horny type he just is too dedicated to his job like I'd give it 20/80
idk if he's a freak either like he's probably seen some weird nasty shit so he either is the most vanilla man to walk this earth or is into some weird ass shit.
(I bet it's cake sitting or some food shit. He and Ranpo are too similar, they would both be into weird food shit)
ANYWAY Tecchou is one of those guys who would do cute shit like open the door for his partner everywhere and hold their bags
It's very sweet. Bro 100% lifts.
probably calls while at work which is terrifying and horrible cause you'll hear gunfire but he'll pretend it's normal
Man is also technically property of the state so just know that if you're in a relationship with him you will always have someone stalking you, as you are now a threat to national security
but it's worth it for Tecchou <3
also, he has a huge bank account I bet but would buy either useless gifts or upgrade everything his partner owns cuz he probably only wears his military uniforms and compression shirts.
What's he gonna spend his money on, really?
Nikolai
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The world is cruel and predictable, especially with people like him. He hates someone having control over him, so he would only love someone if he chose to - which is fickle at best.
AHHHH omg he's so hard to pin down because Nikolai 100% would be the worst person to have as a lover (jk)
Hot and Cold by Katy Perry esq
Like, 100% if he loves them he LOVES them but if he hates them? he HATES them
but I don't think he really changes his emotions that much, he's sensitive but not so drastically
Definitely is an interesting person to love - would do crazy and weird shit for his lover
doesn't do normal dates. he's a magician, everything is a trick with him
probably gives riddles and doesn't wait for them to be solved - they just lead up to silly dates or gifts. The gifts are probably tame like a drink they like or like, flowers. Maybe some random fingers if he saw that a server was rude.
Does the bottle up his ass trick a lot. or says "do you like magic in bed?" and then never pulls his pants down he just shows every single magic trick he knows.
Listen. that man is WAITING for an audience he will take any chance he can. He'll even pull out some tricks while in the middle of doing it. Let him show you his magic tricks, he practices very hard on some of them.
ranking him as the type to be an exhibitionist and a bit of a freak - how much? idk but he has his coat so who knows what kind of stuff he has on him.
also don't get into a philosophical convo with him this guy will start to talk all sorts of crazy
or political
unless ofc there's common ground then CONGRATS
also I feel like he would be a gentleman. Would probably bring his lover flowers and shit.
once brought oranges though. never explained why.
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sorry about the NSFW but I needed the giggles. I did in fact giggle
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forays-into-fiction · 2 years
Text
I Want You So Bad I Can’t Breathe
You met Eddie when you first moved to Hawkins, Indiana it was an especially difficult time for you and Eddie was the one to stand by you, becoming fast friends. But then he was moving on to middle school and leaving you behind only to forget about you. You admire him from afar until Hellfire Club where you finally reconnect.
 Request fill for @harringtonfan4​ hope you like it, sorry if I went too hard on the negative self-image/insecurity stuff 😅
Minors DNI
Contains: Dom!Eddie/Sub!Reader, Slight Perv!Eddie Virgin!Reader, PlusSize!Reader, Insecure!Eddie, Insecure!Reader, Loss of Virginity, Angst, Major Internalised Fatphobia/Fatphobia, Bullying, Daddy Kink, Spitting, Dirty Talk, Fingering, Praise Kink, Innocence/Virginity Kink, Unprotected Sex, Drug Use (Weed)
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Fat. It was a word you’d heard more than half your life by now at eighteen. The first time someone called you fat you were seven, she was supposed to be your friend… your best friend, but her snide little, ‘Why are you so fat? It’s so gross!’ stuck with you.
 Looking back now you know you weren’t fat… you know it every time you look back, but you can never see it in the moment. And you weren’t fat you were just an average sized little girl with chubby little cheeks.
No matter how far back it’s always been ‘oh I used to think I was so fat back then, what I would give to go back to that size. But now, now I really am fat’
 Over the years this mindset had really impacted your life, you used to be more outgoing, you used to love to sing and dance, you used to live without constantly thinking about how everyone else saw you. Because no one wants to see the fat girl having fun, enjoying life right… better to hide away.
You had tried to lose weight, so many times… and you did, but every time you’d lose weight as soon as you’d hit a plateau your weight would sit there for a bit before slowly creeping back up and up and up. At least until you weighed even more than when you’d started.
 It wasn’t just your friend that had made comments about your weight, she was the first but she certainly wasn’t the last. You’d also had a bully around the same time, she had consistently tormented you every day. 
Day after day she’d drag you away from your friends, pulling you into a secluded corner to harass you verbally, physically, mentally… until one day you finally told someone. 
Your mum went off on that other girl, threatened her so badly every time you saw her since then she’d cross the road to avoid you… but the damage had been done.
You didn’t have to deal with the aftermath for too long, shortly after your parents had decided to move to Hawkins, Indiana to be closer to your grandparents. 
Your little brother was almost four now and they were going to need help taking care of the two of you, both of them working long hours and odd shifts just to get by. Also needed a bigger house to accommodate the needs of your growing family.
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You were eight when you first met him, he was ten both of you still in elementary school. You were new in town, that in itself already made you an oddity to say the least. 
Some kids had been picking on you, calling you names, pushing you around, you were on the verge of tears when he stepped in. He’d scared them off pretty easily, being both older and taller, buzzed head giving him a ‘tougher’ look.
 Once they had left, he turned to you, placing a hand on your shoulder looking into your eyes like you were the only thing that mattered in the world, “Hey, don’t pay attention to shitheads like that, ok? I’m Eddie.”
“Y/n…” You reply shakily.
“Y/n,” He repeats, “that is a very pretty name. Nice to meet you y/n.”
“N-nice to meet you t-too.”
“Wanna have lunch with me?”
“Yeah…”
 You’d spent the rest of that school year by his side he’d introduced you to this game he played, Dungeons and Dragons. He’d jokingly criticised your taste in music, telling you he’d show you some real music. 
You pout and protest that just because he doesn’t like your music doesn’t mean it’s not real music, but begrudgingly you listen to his stuff and find you actually like it… not that you’d admit it to him, you’d never give him the satisfaction.
 If you were honest with yourself, you’d been smitten with him since that day, but you buried those thoughts and feelings deep down, tried to ignore it.
But then all too quickly he’s moving on to middle school, the two of you promise to stay in touch but you don’t. You don’t want to push it either, he’s probably moved on to something better… someone better.
 In his absence you became closer with one Nancy Wheeler. Your brother and hers were in the same playgroup and your families had become closer as a whole. Both you and her were the same age, you’d bonded over the little things and she was a good friend to you.
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It’s not until another two years later that you see him again, you’re starting middle school and he’s in his final year there. His hair is a bit longer now, no longer completely buzzed, still cropped short but growing out. 
You admire him from afar, he wouldn’t remember you… why would he remember you? You couldn’t risk embarrassing yourself by approaching him now.
 Your brother and his friends have discovered Dungeons and Dragons, the game has changed a bit since you first played but you sit in with them for a few sessions, Nancy also joins on occasion. 
You DM until Will asks to take over one session, then they all take turns at being DM, each running their own campaign with your guidance. As Nancy starts to lose interest in the game, you feel you should stick with her rather than intrude on your brother’s group.
 And time slips by the year is over, he’s moving on to high school, leaving you behind once more.
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By the time you see him again you’re both in high school, his hair is longer still, becoming a bushy mane around his head, he’s really embracing the ‘metal’ look from what you can see and it suits him you think.  
 You hear he’s started a D&D group here at the school, Hellfire Club it was called. You were tempted to join, you had really missed him all these years, you doubt he would have even spared you a second thought… who would? Why would he care about that fat, little weird kid who followed him around for a year?
 You ask Nancy what she thinks, “I kinda know the guy that runs it, we were friends for a little while. It was before you and I really started hanging out properly, but I don’t think he remembers me. What do you think, should I join? Would you join with me?”
 “I think if you want to join you should, and it seems like you do… but I don’t know about joining myself, I kind of outgrew that phase. I’m thinking of signing up for the school paper though.”
“Oh, yeah that’s great you definitely should!”
“So, what about you? You going to join that club?”
“Ummm… yeah, maybe… I do want to, but I’m a little nervous.”
“I thought you said the guy that runs it is a friend, just talk to him.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t talked in years, I’m sure he doesn’t remember me.”
“It’ll be fine if you are worried about talking to him directly, I’m sure they’d have some sort of sign-up sheet, just go put your name down.” She shrugs.
“Yeah. Yeah, ok that doesn’t sound too bad.”
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And they do have a sign-up sheet, it’s hung just outside the drama room, but you can’t see a pen anywhere. You rummage around in your bag for your pencil case, but then he appears beside you and you jump. 
He holds a pen out towards you with one hand, the other on which he’d drawn a silly, little face comes up and he makes it ‘talk’ with a funny voice, “Need a pen?”
“Ahhh… yeah, thanks…?” You take the offered pen awkwardly.
His silly face hand drops, internally he’s facepalming, ‘why the fuck did you do that?’ he thinks pressing on despite this, “Eddie. My name is Eddie.”
You shift self-consciously avoiding looking him in the eye, “Yeah, I uhh… I remember you, Eddie. You probably don’t remember me-”
A broad grin spreads across his face, “Are you kidding, of course I remember you, princess. Sorry if I scared you earlier, by the way. So, you’re signing up for Hellfire, huh?”
You shrug, “Yeah, if you’ll have me, I guess.”
“It’ll be just like the good old days. You still been playing?”
“Umm… not so much lately, but you remember my little brother?”
He nods, you continue, “He and his friends are really into it now. When they first started I DM’ed for them, at least until they got the hang of it.”
“Awww, princess DM’ing… I woulda loved to see that.”
“I mean you still could… if I’m joining Hellfire…”
“Oh, no… no I am the Dungeon Master there, princess no one else. And I run a brutal campaign… you better prepare yourself. I’m not about to go easy on you, just cause it’s you.”
“We’ll see about that won’t we Munson, I can take brutal, you know.”
He just about chokes on his words at that, but manages to contain himself… barely, “Uhh huh sure you can, princess.”
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The next couple of years after that the two of you reconnect, it was like you’d never been apart, but again he’s coming up on his final year, about to leave you behind yet again. And then… he doesn’t, he doesn’t graduate, he fails his senior year. 
You’re torn on the one hand it means you get another year with him, another year before he disappears again. On the other hand, you hated seeing him fail, you knew how shitty high school was for him, constantly being mocked and teased. You hadn’t had it any better either, but having him there helped and now you’d have him for another year.
 But now, now you’re eighteen, he’s twenty and he’s failed again. So, you get to share all your classes with him, you feel guilty about how happy you are to still have him with you. 
Your little brother and his friends are just starting high school and Eddie takes them under his wing, inviting them to join you at your table. You would have done so yourself, but he’d beaten you to it and it reminded you of the day you met him, the way he stood up for you, the way he still stood up for you.
 Your feelings have resurfaced… or maybe they’d always been there, just bubbling away in the hidden recesses of your mind. You hated yourself for it, it wasn’t for you to have a crush… nothing could possibly come of it, you’d seen the way he’d looked at other girls, prettier girls, skinnier girls… he’d never want you, why bother? And every day you dig yourself deeper into this hole, torturing yourself.
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He’s driving you to school one day when you find yourself humming along to one of the songs on his radio and he is very quick to call you out on it. “Hey, I thought you didn’t like my, quote ‘shitty metal’?”
You give him a shove, “Fuck off, you know I don’t.”
“Oh, yeah then why are you fucking humming Metallica hmmm?” He grins smugly.
“I dunno, I guess it grows on you… like a wart… or a skin lesion… or you.”
“Hey, you take that back!”
You giggle, “Never.”
“Oh, really is that how it is?” He glances over at you briefly, taking one hand from the steering wheel he begins poking at you “Take. It. Back.”
You squirm away from his prodding fingers, but then instead of getting your arm or your shoulder he misses and makes contact with the swell of your belly and you freeze.
He knows he’s done something wrong, when he glances over again, the way your giggles die on your lips, the way you won’t look at him.
“What’s wrong princess?” He asks seriously.
“Nothing. Nothing, just drive.” Your voice sounds almost empty, but he doesn’t push any further.
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Nancy knows, even if you won’t admit it at first, but she knows about your not so little crush. When you finally do admit it, she encourages you to do something about it, but you can’t… you couldn’t, could you? What if it ruined everything between the two of you… after all why would he ever look at you like that…
 It does no good to dwell on these thoughts, but they come up, every time you’re in his van, every time he looks at you with that glint in his eye, every time you’re sat in his bedroom… on his bed, smoking and laughing and forgetting who you are for just a split second. It gives you hope, but then it all comes crashing down around you.
 When he shows you how to roll your first joint, you can’t take your eyes off of him. You don’t hear a word he’s saying, it washes over you without comprehension. He sits facing you from the foot of your bed, you sit cross-legged facing him, leaning in slightly. 
You watch his nimble fingers working away, the way his tongue darts out to wet the paper, his eyes never leaving yours, making sure you pay attention. It makes you feel hot all over, squirming as he’s twisting off the end giving you a little grin, proudly showing it off, “… and that is how it’s done.”
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“Uhh cool, thanks.” You move to pluck it from his fingertips but he snatches it away.
“Ah, ah, ah don’t you know the rules… roller’s rights?”
You look at him in confusion, he explains, “The roller always takes the first hit.”
“Oh, ok.” You mumble and settle back down into the pillows. He lights up the end then takes a few puffs before passing it over to you, you take a deep drag and choke almost immediately. He laughs before smacking you on the back, before rubbing in soothing circles “Hey, take it easy… just breathe.”
He reaches across you to the water sitting on your bedside table, “Here take a sip, it’ll help.”
You take a few sips of water and steady your breathing before he continues, his hand still on your back, “When you take a hit it’s just a few little breaths in, slowly, lightly. Don’t try to take too much at once, it’s not the same as smoking a cigarette, ok?”
“Yep, uhh huh.” You croak out.  
“And hold the smoke in your mouth first, then breathe in from here…” he rubs a hand over his belly, up high by his diaphragm.
“You wanna try again?”
You nod humming in response and he nods back for you to go ahead.
You follow his advice and it goes better, you try again and it’s even easier.
“Alright, now pass it back.” He holds out a hand and you hand it over to him.
“There, now give it a few minutes before you try again, it’s your first time don’t wanna go too hard, too fast.” He takes another puff.
You giggle, teasing, “But what if I want hard and fast?”
And then he’s choking, spluttering, coughing up smoke.
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“Jesus H Christ… princess you can’t say shit like that, someone might take it the wrong way one day.” He gasps out.
You roll your eyes, “Eddie, come on no one is thinking of me like that, get real.”
He hesitates a moment, “What if… what if I told you I thought of you like that?”
“Haha, very funny…” you reply sarcastically, but he’s not laughing, “… wait a minute you’re serious?”
“Yeah, you got no fucking idea…”
“Are you sure that isn’t just the weed talking, I mean I heard it can make people-”
He cuts you off with a fierce kiss, pushing his lips to yours forcefully, nipping at your bottom lip gently, the joint burning down steadily in his limp grip. When he breaks away, he looks at you with lust clouded eyes, “Oh, I’m real fucking sure, princess. I have been crushing on you since God only knows when.”
You look up at him through your lashes, bashfully, “Ummm I’ve been crushing on you pretty much since the day we met.” You confess.
“Shit… can I fucking kiss you again?” He breathes out.
“Yeah… umm, maybe just get rid of that first.” You nod down to his fingers.
“Oh, right… yeah.” He mumbles reaching for his black metal lunchbox, snubbing out the joint on the lid and tossing it inside.
He looks back over at you, leaning in slowly, you don’t know why, but you’re blurting out, “imavirgin…” the words meld together in your embarrassment.
“What was that? Didn’t quite get that...”
You take a deep steadying breath, making sure to enunciate clearly this time, you repeat, “I’m a virgin.”
He lets out a guttural groan, “Fuck, princess is that true? No one… no one’s ever touched you before?”
“Umm no never… never been kissed before either…” You admit shyly.
“That’s quite a few firsts tonight, isn’t it? Do you wanna tackle a few more?”
You nod, pouting at him, “Please Eddie, kiss me again?”
“How could I refuse?”
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He swoops in capturing your lips between his own once more, you feel his tongue probing for entrance you let out a needy whine and it’s slipping in alongside your own. 
You tangle your hands into his hair you gasp as he lifts you into his lap, you pull away, “Wh-what’re you doing, don’t I’m heavy…”
“Oh no, you are just perfect, you sit right there, right on top of my cock.” He emphasises this with a roll of his hips and the hard bulge of his dick grinds into your heated core. You whine again at the sensation, feeling a wetness pool between your thighs.
He pulls you back in for another kiss, sloppier than the previous and you grind back against him with a moan.
“Did you mean it?” He gasps into your mouth.
“Huh?”
“When you said you want it ‘hard and fast’… or was that just a joke?”
“I dunno… it wasn’t entirely a joke…”
“You think you can handle it hard and fast, do you think you’ll still like me after, if I’m rough?” He growls.
“Please Eddie, I want you. I want you so bad I can’t breathe.” You gasp.
“Ok, but we’re gonna start off slow alright? Then we can ramp it up to hard and fast.” He chuckles darkly.
As he resumes kissing you his hands move to lift your shirt and you pull away suddenly.
“You ok, sweetheart? You change your mind?” Concern laces his voice.
“No… no it’s not that… just, could we maybe turn the lights off…?”
It’s like a switch flips in his head, “Oh no, no sweetheart I wanna see all of you… every gorgeous bit. The things I would do to you…”
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He groans his hands dropping to your plump legs that straddle his own, squeezing them softly, urging you to move against him more firmly, “Wanna bury my face between these thighs… so fucking gorgeous… wanna do so much with ‘em, bite ‘em, suck em, kiss ‘em… push your legs together and fuck them.”
He drops one hand to cup your ass, kneading the soft flesh, he growls, “Oh and if you let me take you from behind, I could watch your ass jiggle as I pound into you, maybe slap it a bit if you’d let me… would you like that princess? Want me to slap that fucking glorious ass of yours? You have no idea how many times I’ve been distracted by just that… thinking about bending you over and just taking you…” You’re panting desperately at his touch, barely done anything and he’s already got you absolutely wrecked.
 He moves his hand up to your chest, groping your breasts he lets out a guttural moan as you whine pitifully, “And these tits, don’t even get me started on those… absolutely perfect… shove my face into them too, suck on your nipples, pinch ‘em ‘til you fucking scream… oh god, I’d love it if you held your tits together… let me fuck em ‘til I cum all over your pretty face, watch it drip down your chin…” his filthy mouth has you soaking your panties, grinding down into him.
You barely register that he’s popped the button on your jeans sliding them down slowly until he flips you over onto your back and you gasp, you never knew he was so strong, the way he was manhandling you like it was nothing. 
He kneels between your legs, towering over you, you yelp as he grabs your jeans roughly pulling them the rest of the way down before you can protest. 
You unconsciously tug the hem of your shirt lower to cover yourself and he swats your hands away, “Ah, ah sweetheart none of that I wanna see you… how about this, if I take off my shirt you let me take off yours?”
You bite you lip as you consider it, God do you wanna see him… bare chest, tattoos all on display… you nod nervously, mumbling “O-ok… b-but you first…?”
He concedes, “Ok, sweetheart me first.”
He hooks a hand into the collar of his shirt pulls it off and tosses it across the room blindly, your eyes rake over him, practically salivating at the sight, lingering on the sparse trail of hair peeking out over his belt. He’s smirking down at you as you pout up at him, “Pants too?”
“What about them?” He teases.
“Wan’ you to take yours off too… ‘s only fair…”
He grins devilishly, eyes glinting, “How about you take them off for me, princess?”
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You sit up and place a shaky hand over his belt buckle, your fingers just grazing the hair of his happy trail. You undo the belt clumsily and unzip his jeans before rolling them down his thighs slowly. His baggy blue and white chequered boxers do little to hide his erection as it tents the fabric there. 
Before you can do anything else he’s pushing you back into the pillows behind you, “Now, I seem to remember that the deal was… tit for tat, or rather tats for tits you may say…” he chuckles.
You giggle and resist the urge to fight him when his hands drop to toy with the hem of your shirt, he leans in easing your shirt up, trailing kisses over your belly, your chest, until he pulls your shirt over your head and tosses that aside too, diving back in to kiss you eagerly on the lips. He pulls away leaving you breathless, humming in appreciation, “Beautiful…”
“Eddie stoop…” You whine swatting at him.
“Never, I meant what I said and I’m gonna suck on those tits ‘til you’re begging me for more… there’s uhh… something I want you to do for me though…”
“What’s that?” You mumble curiously.
“Don’t call me Eddie. Do you think you could… call me ‘daddy’ while we…”
You gasp, “Fuck… yeah I can do that for you… daddy.”
“Yeah, just like that, sweetheart.” He moans encouragingly before ducking his head to the crook of your neck biting, kissing, mouthing on it as his hands wrap around you. Calloused, ringed fingers brush against your back as he fiddles with the clasp of your bra, he gets it loose and slips it off down your arms. 
He trails kisses down your chest until he reaches a nipple, sucking it into his mouth, laving over it with his tongue. His hands join his mouth, pushing your tits closer together, pinching and rolling the other nipple between his fingers. Your breath hitches at his ministrations and you let out a shaky moan.
“So, fucking responsive… love that I’m the only one who gets to do this to you…” He growls against your skin. He takes the hand closest to his mouth and caresses your mound, before dipping his fingers under the waistband. He runs his fingertips through your slick, teasing your entrance before dragging the up to circle your clit.
“All of this is just for me…” He murmurs, pulling away from you chest briefly.
“Yes, just you… no one else.” You gasp in response.
“God fucking damn, that’s right. I’m the only one that gets to touch you like this, isn’t that right?”
You mumble in assent, “Mhmmm that’s right… daddy, only you.”
“Fuck, princess gonna make me bust a nut and we haven’t even started yet.”
Your legs quiver on either side of him as he plunges two fingers into you crooking them against your soft, spongy walls. You can hear his rings clink together and feel them bump against your entrance, the sound met with a wet squelch as your cunt takes all he has to offer. 
His thumb moves to press against your clit in clumsy circles, you grab onto his shoulders tightly, there’s a tension mounting, coiling deep in your belly.
“That’s it princess, you gonna cum for daddy? Cum on my fingers for me.”
Something in you snaps and the tension is released all at once, your walls flutter on his fingertips, your release gushing all over them as you moan breathily.
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He grins at you proudly as you gasp for breath, “So, another first for you… what’s that now, first joint, first kiss, first orgasm from my fingers… what’s next my tongue or my cock.
“Jesus fucking Christ Eddie…” he gives you a disapproving look and you try again, “please… please, daddy.”
“Please what, sweetheart… use your words.”
“Please… fuck me…” You whine.
“How do you want it?” He asks firmly, “Tongue. Or cock?”
“Wan’ your cock, wan’ you to fuck me hard, show me I’m yours…” You whimper in response, weakly reaching for his boxers.
“You on any kind of birth control, sweetheart?” He asks in earnest.
“Mhhmm… yep I am.”
“Good… that’s good… now you’re sure about this, right?”
“Yes, never wanted anything more in my life… please…”
He ducks down and presses a kiss to your thigh before tugging your panties down your legs. He looks up at you with a little grin, panties hanging off his finger, “Mind if I keep these?”
“You can have whatever you want so long as you make me cum again daddy…”
He groans in response eyes squeezing shut briefly, and he palms at his cock. He drapes your panties over his lunchbox before sliding down his boxers to join his jeans. His thick, weepy length bobs up between his legs, precum bubbling up at the flushed tip. You gasp at the sight, “You’re so… big… can I touch it first?”
“Gonna gimme an ego sweetheart…” he mumbles as he reaches out for your hand guiding it onto his stiff length.
His precum slicks the motions of your hand, he controls the pace, running your hand along his length the way he likes. You devote all your attention to his cock while he watches you appreciatively.
When you swipe your thumb over the head on the upstroke, he growls lowly, “That’s enough now, princess. This time you’re gonna soak my cock with that tight little cunt of yours.” He looks into your eyes, his own dark with lust.
He pulls his jeans and boxers all the way off dropping them over the edge of the bed.
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He pushes you back down into the pillows with a hand on your shoulder before moving to sweep your hair out of your face. He grabs your hand, slick and sticky from rubbing his flushed cock and holds it in front of your face, “Look you got your hand all messy. Lick it clean princess.” He orders.
He pushes your own hand to your mouth and you swipe your tongue over your palm before wrapping your lips around your fingers with a low moan. “Such a good girl for daddy.” He hums, you can taste him on your skin you whine as you imagine what it would be like to suck on his fat cock. 
He smirks down at you while he grips his shaft at the base, rubbing the head through your glistening folds. Then another image springs to mind, one he’d painted for you, of him fucking your breasts, losing himself completely and cumming all over your face… how high would it splatter, would it get in your mouth, would it taste like this.
He pulls your hand away from your mouth leaning in for a kiss as he forces his tip inside your dribbling entrance. He swallows up all your little whines and gasps as he drops a hand between you to rub at your swollen clit. He sinks into you further and further until he’s buried deeper than you ever thought possible.
“Gonna give it to you hard and fast real soon princess, but we gotta get you a little warmed up for me first…”
He rolls his hips thrusting shallowly as you adjust to the sensation.
“Please… hmmm… fuck, faster please daddy. Feels so… mhnnn… feels so good” You pant out, hips rising to meet his.
“With pleasure sweetheart.” His hands move to grip your hips bruisingly tight. As he increases the pace, you feel his balls slapping against your ass, the room is filled with all sorts of obscene, wet sounds. 
You twist your hand into his curls, gazing up at his rosy face, sweat dripping from his brow, eyes blown wide with lust. When you give a little tug on his hair, he lets out a deep, rumbling moan.
He hooks his arms beneath your legs pulling them up over his shoulders sinking into you deeper with this new angle, “You like being filled up, sweetheart? Feel so good when daddy’s deep in you? You gonna let me cum buried inside you?”
“Please… god yes, want it so bad daddy, want you to fill me up with your cum.”
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He brings a hand up to your chin, thumb sliding over it ‘til it rests on your bottom lip as you whimper beneath him, he eases his thumb between your lips and you suck on it mindlessly.
“You’re gonna take everything I give you right?”
You nod, mumbling around his thumb in agreement.
“Then open.” He forces your jaw down with his thumb, you look up at him a little confused.
Suddenly he spits in your mouth, ramming his cock into you at the same time, you whimper.
“Now swallow.” He demands and you do so, your saliva mixing with his as it slides down your throat and your walls flex around him of their own accord.
“Oh, you liked that did you?”
“Y-yes daddy.”
“Oh, you’re such a good girl for me. You do like it hard, don’t you? Gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk.”
“Please… fuck, please gonna cum again.”
“Then cum for me. Squeeze on my dick, lemme feel it. Cum for daddy.”
You wail, chanting “Daddy, daddy, daddy… fuck ‘m cumming.” Your back arches, head thrown back gasping as you clamp down around him, your release running over his cock in rivulets and he continues to pound into you, fucking you through your orgasm. 
You fall back limply still spasming around him when he reaches his peak, he growls, “Yeah that’s it princess, you’re gonna take all my fucking cum… take everything daddy gives you.”
He empties his heavy balls deep inside you with a deep, strung-out groan, you can feel his warm seed flood your cunt, drenching your already slick channel.
He collapses on top of you, sweaty bodies pressed together and he tries to nuzzle in even closer.
“God, that was good sweetheart.” He pants in your ear.
“Yeah.” You mumble in agreement running a hand over his back tracing random patterns.
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He sighs and you feel his breath against your cheek while his cock softens slowly slipping out of you. You can feel your combined fluids leaking out of your entrance slipping down between your ass to pool on your bed. 
Eddie rolls off of you wandering off naked, when he returns, he’s cleaned himself off, approaching you carrying a warm, damp cloth, he runs it over your body soothingly, between your legs cleaning you off. 
He stoops down untangling his boxers from his jeans slipping them on as he moves to your wardrobe rifling around til he finds some pyjamas. He helps you into them gently and wraps the covers around you and turns out the lights before slotting himself in behind you. He presses a kiss to your shoulder and wraps his arms around you with a sigh.
You melt into his embrace and he wishes you sweet dreams, you return the sentiment. The pair of you doze off smiling contentedly in your post-orgasm bliss.
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Eddie wakes in very early hours of the morning, still happy and content, girl of his dreams wrapped up in his arms. His thoughts turn sour as he lays there, the demons in his head tormenting him…
Jesus Christ what have you done, that was her first time you fucking pig… you told her to call you ‘daddy’ what is wrong with you… fucking freak… shit that’s what everyone’s gonna think the freak and the fatty, both of you together that’ll send them all into a frenzy and her oh, she’ll never hear the end of it, do you really think she deserves that… do you think you deserve to be happy…
And he’s slipping out from under the covers shrouded in his shame, careful not to rouse you he dresses and collects his belongings. He pauses briefly before pocketing your panties, one last little souvenir. Sick pervert. He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts before taking off into the early dawn.
You wake up a few hours later, sore, mumbling his name, hands searching for his warmth only to come up with nothing. Eyes snapping open you look around in confusion, you find that all of his belongings are gone all evidence that he was even here gone. 
He’d be back, for sure he’d be back. Why would he leave…? But he doesn’t come back, doesn’t answer any of your calls. This continues for the rest of the weekend, you convince yourself it’ll be different when you get to school.
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Monday rolls around, your stomach twists into knots, did he regret it, wake up next to you with a sudden clarity, no longer horny or high and realise he didn’t actually want someone who looked like you. Or maybe he was just worried what other people would think if he dated someone like you… good enough to fuck, but not good enough to keep around. 
You can’t believe that you’d let yourself believe that it could be something more for even a second. Tears sting your eyes and you swipe them away angrily, you huff sulking off into the bathroom, don’t be so fucking dumb, of course he wouldn’t want you just deal with it. You splash cold water over your face and take a few deep breaths to steady yourself.
 You end up late for homeroom, only just entering the room as the teacher calls your name. Eddie isn’t sitting in his usual seat, instead he’s sat beside Gareth chatting away about something to do with the band and their show tomorrow night.
He doesn’t look at you as you pass him, you slink off to the last available seats, it’s fine, it’s fine… more tears threaten to slip out but you bite them back.
He avoids you for the rest of the day, you don’t even see him at lunch, but then you pass him on your way out of the cafeteria, you call out to him, “Hey, Eddie there you are I’ve been looking for you all day.”
But he walks right passed you, blank-faced, staring straight passed you. It’s like a knife to your heart, your frozen can’t move, can’t speak, the tears you’ve been fighting all day spill out. Someone bumps into your shoulder and of course it has to be them, “Watch it fatass.” 
And there’s giggles as they walk on you can hear them saying to one another, “She was fucking crying did you see her, what a fucking loser… not even the freak wants to be seen with her now.”
That’s the final straw, you don’t even bother collecting your stuff from your locker you just… leave. You walk all the way home blindly, the tears stoped at some point leaving your eyes puffy and stinging, your nails dig into your palms leaving little half-moon impressions.
You let yourself in trudging to your room, stripping off your clothes and pulling on anything that’s nearby before crawling into bed burying yourself beneath the covers.
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Your mum wakes you when she gets home, you brush her off telling her you’re not feeling well, trying to pass it off as really bad period cramps. You tell her you might not go in to school tomorrow, she offers to bring you something to eat and a hot water bottle you nod mutely, you don’t really feel like talking much.
 You spend the next few days like that in a haze, numb to the world but acutely aware of the stabbing pain in your chest and the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. By the fourth day Nancy stops by to check on you, it’s not like you to miss so many days of school, let alone walk out in the middle of the day.
She enters your room tentatively calling out to you, she sits on the edge of your bed as you groan from your cocoon of blankets.
“You wanna tell me what happened?”
You give a little grunt, she brushes your greasy hair behind your ear gently, “Want a hug?” She offers.
“No, ‘m all gross.” You mumble pulling your self to sit up at the very least, but then the tears flow anew, that’s exactly why he doesn’t want you… fat, ugly, gross, loser… every insult ever hurled at you streams through your brain.
Nancy wraps her arms around you despite your attempts to push her away.
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“You know I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong. Your mum said you haven’t been eating properly, won’t come out of your room, i haven’t seen you like this since… well in a really long time.”
You breathe in shakily trying to stem the flow of tears, “I’m a fucking idiot that’s what’s wrong.”
“Hey, hey that’s not true, tell me what actually happened.”
You shake your head pushing away from her, “Can’t.”
“Tough ‘cause I’m not leaving ‘til you do.” She folds her arms over her chest giving you a determined look.
“Well, be prepared to stay a while then.”
“Don’t be stubborn.” She chides.
“You don’t be stubborn.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Fine, Ugh fine…”
“Go on I’m listening.”
“He doesn’t want me, doesn’t want anything to do with me now.” You can’t bring yourself to look at her while you speak.
“Who’re you talking about?”
“Eddie.”
“That’s not possible, that guy looks at you like you hung the moon. What happened? Did you tell him how you feel or…”
“No… well yes, but… ok, so he came over Friday night. You know how my parents went away?” She nods as you continue, “So, I asked him what it was like to smoke weed, like we always smoke together when we’re at his place, but never that and he was showing me how to roll a joint and god he looked so hot and I made some dumb joke about wanting it ‘hard and fast’ and he kissed me and told me he had a crush on me and I told him as well… and one thing kinda led to another and we ended up having sex and…” you trail off uncertain of how much detail is too much detail.
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“None of that sounds bad so far, where did you get the idea that he doesn’t want you if he’s already slept with you.”
“When I woke up in the morning… after… he was gone, he didn’t answer any of my calls the whole weekend but I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt… I dunno, whatever. Anyway then at school on Monday he acted like I didn’t even exist, walked right passed me and they had to see it, had to comment on it.”
You hazard a glance at her and you can practically see the steam billowing out from her ears, “I’m sorry he what?!”
“I just I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, the year’s almost over and just like before he’ll be disappearing from my life again… this time just a little sooner than planned.”
“I’m gonna talk to him.” She says firmly.
“What? No! Nance don’t… please don’t… promise me you won’t.”
“I…” she falters at the look in your eye, “Alright, fine I won’t.”
You shoot her a stern look, “Really, I promise I won’t.” She insist.
“I mean it don’t.” You finish firmly.
“Ok… have you eaten today? What did you have?”
“I did, I had tea and crackers.”
“Is that it? All day that’s all you had?”
“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not like I’m doing anything today other than wallowing in bed and it’s not as if I’ll starve to death.”
“You know starving yourself is just as bad as overeating, neither of which is going to help you right now. Come on get out of bed go have a shower, I’ll make you something to eat and we can watch a movie… we haven’t had a girl’s night in a while you know.”
 You give in to her pestering and it does help to take your mind off things for a bit. She makes you promise that she’ll see you up and about next week.
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Nancy doesn’t break her promise at first, not exactly but she does go straight to Steve right after your little ‘girl’s night’.
“You want me to what?”
She rolls her eyes, “Oh, relax it’s not that big a deal just talk to the guy.”
“Why me? If it’s not such a big deal you talk to him.”
“I told you I promised y/n I wouldn’t so I’m not.”
“Still don’t get why it has to be me.” He grumbles.
“What are you scared of him or something?” She teases.
“No! It’s just weird you want me to talk to him about his sex life, c’mon that’s weird.”
“Hey, y/n is your friend too and she’s really hurting right now, just talk to the guy.”
“Why couldn’t it be one of those Hellfire guys instead?”
“Well, I don’t really know them, I know you… but I guess we could talk to them too. Maybe they could help, we can ask Mike where to find them.”
 That’s how they find themselves grouped together with a couple of the guys from Hellfire Club, on Eddie Munson’s front porch. Nancy knocks on the front door and Eddie tumbles out to greet them “Wheeler? Harrington? The fuck are you two doing here?”
He spots Gareth and Jeff just behind them, “Emerson… what the fuck is going on?”
Nancy pokes him in the chest angrily, “Inside. Now, Munson.”
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He holds up his hands in surrender stumbling backwards inside the trailer.
When everyone is inside, he tries again, “Right, so is anyone gonna fill me in here? What the fuck is going on?”
The boys let her go off on her tirade, her promise to you forgotten amidst her anger, “Don’t play dumb Munson, we’re here about what happened with y/n.”
“Shit… yeah I know I took things too far but tell her it’s ok, I’ll stay away from now on.”
“That is exactly the problem, why are you staying away?”
“Just imagine what people would say about us, the freak and the fatty…”
Gareth speaks up taken aback, “What the fuck man since when do you call her that?”
Eddie sighs “I don’t, it’s just what people would say and she doesn’t deserve that, she doesn’t need people judging her and they would if we were together. Why would anyone want to be seen with the freak nah she doesn’t need that.”
“Since when has that stopped her before, she’s with you all the time?” Jeff counters.
“Yeah, but that’s different it’ll be so much worse for her if we’re dating, this is for her own good, she’d be better off without me all together.” He protests with a tone of finality.
“Shouldn’t you let her decide that for herself? You don’t think you’re hurting her right now… acting like this. Imagine what she’s feeling, what she’s thinking. She’s alone in her room, hasn’t left for days, hasn’t been eating, torturing herself over why you’d do this.” Nancy attempts to reason with him.
Reality comes crashing down around him as he realises what he’s done, “Oh fuck I’m… shit I’m a fucking asshole. I let my own fucking insecurities get to me I didn’t stop to think how she’d feel, how she’d see it… fuck, fuck, fuck.” He paces back and forth tugging on his curls anxiously. His head snaps up, locking on to Nancy, “What do I do… what can I do?”
Steve speaks up for the first time, side-eyeing Nancy as he does so, “You fucking apologise man, take her flowers, beg for her forgiveness… whatever it takes.”
“Right… right.” He mutters to himself before his head pops up again, “You guys uh wanna like leave, or…?”
“Yeah, we’ll go.” Steve replies leading the way out of the trailer.
Nancy lets the other two go first before turning back to Eddie, “You fix this Munson… and I was never here, ok?”
He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “Uhh… yeah ok.”
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He stands beneath your bedroom window tossing rocks at it til one connects. You peek your head out at the noise and see him standing there, arms laden with flowers and candy. You don’t quite trust yourself to speak first so you stare down at him expectantly.
He finally breaks the silence, “Can I come in? We gotta talk.”
Your despair solidifies into bitter anger, “Oh, now you wanna talk… fuck off.”
“Please… please just hear me out.” He calls back desperately.
“Why the fuck should I? I gave you so many chances, why now?”
“I’m a fucking idiot, I know that and I’m sorry I’m so so sorry. Please just let me in, let me explain and then I’ll go if you want, I promise.”
“Alright, fine. You better make it quick though… you know the way in. Come up.” You slip back into your room slamming the window shut.
He takes the stairs in leaps and bounds when he gets inside, hesitating outside your bedroom before steeling himself and opening the door.
The second he steps inside it’s like all moisture is wicked away from his mouth he stands there for a moment in silence. You prompt him to begin, “Well? You gonna actually speak or-”
He blurts out, “I love you…”
You roll your eyes, scoffing, “Yeah, sure you fucking do… not falling for that one again.”
He persists, “I’m really, really, really sorry, you have no idea. I uh got these for you.” He thrusts out the flowers and a box of candy in your direction.
You eye them sceptically, snarling, “And what some flowers and chocolates are gonna make me just fall right into bed with you again… ‘daddy’?”
“I never should have… I took things way too far for your first time I am so fucking sorry. I really do love you though.” He says in earnest.
Your voice cracks, “Why did you leave? Why do you always fucking leave me?”
“Because I was a dumb fucking piece of shit too wrapped up in my own insecurities… thinking I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve happiness… worried about what people would think of you if you were dating me, the things they’d say…thought you’d be better off without me.”
“It’s not on you to make decisions like that for me, you ass. The things people would say about me because I’m dating you… fuck that’d just fly right over my head ‘cause I’d be with you. And that shit about you not deserving happiness is just that, absolute shit… of course you deserve happiness. And by doing this you deprived both of us of a chance at happiness.”
“Is… is it too late… can I… can we try again?” He stutters out hopefully.
Your resolve slips, “You really hurt me Munson…”
His face falls, “I know, I’m so sorry… and I will spend the rest of my fucking life making it up to you if… if you’d let me?”
“It… it wasn’t too far you know, umm I actually really liked it… all of it.”
His eyes search your own desperately, “Does that mean…?”
“Yes Eddie, it means we can try again.”
His face lights up and he drops the flowers and the candy onto your bed, he moves towards you but stops suddenly, “Can… can I kiss you?”
You give a small nod and he dives in kissing you slowly, deeply, with purpose. He pulls away and asks breathily, “Can I stay the night?”
“Don’t push your luck.” You warn.
He gasps, “No! Not… not like that… I mean not that I wouldn’t want that, but… I mean, just let me sleep here, that’s it just sleep, cuddle a bit. Then in the morning I’ll show you how it should have gone the first time, like this past week never happened.”
“O-ok, yeah we can do that.”
“Thank you.” He hums pulling you against him, nuzzling into your neck.
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And true to his word that is all you do that night, falling asleep wrapped up in one another, peacefully. He wakes you in the morning with a sweet kiss, he says he’d offer to make you breakfast but the best he could do is cereal so he takes you out to the diner instead.
When you tell Nancy what happened she doesn’t seem too surprised, “Good I’m glad the two of you worked that out, I’m happy for you really… but if he ever does anything like that again you tell me straight away. I’ll sort him right out.”
You shoot her a suspicious look, “Nance, did you talk to him?”
“What? No! No, I promised I wouldn’t… it was Steve and a couple of your Hellfire friends I swear.”
“Uh huh and how did they know about it?” You probe.
She folds easily, “Alright fine I talked to him, I’m sorry but-”
“No, it’s fine. Actually, I’m glad you did, thank you.”
“No problem… so, now can we talk about it… what’s he like in the bedroom?”
You gasp mock scandalised, “Nancy Wheeler, how dare you…” you can’t maintain it for long and burst into giggles, “He is gooood I’ll say that much, very generous in every sense of the word.”
She raises a brow, “You mean…” and indicates size with her hands.
You nod “Oh, boy do I, and he knows what to do with it.”
She chuckles at your response, you ask about her, “How’re you and Jonathan?”
“Good, we’re good…”
The two of you chat long into the night, you’re glad of a friend like her, glad she stepped in when she did else who knows how things could’ve gone.
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