#I kind of find this take INSANE but I’m sure people also find someone of mine insane and that’s what makes the world goes round

[philsmeatylegss]

hey, I know you got hurt and feel that it's very unfair that your brother is autistic. I don't know the whole scope of your situation but it really seems like you went through a lot. you were treated unfairly. and I really emphasise with that. but it doesn't mean that autism is not a spectrum and there are people who are well functioning in our society. it is a disorder and it's not all rainbow colours and some weird superiority some people think it is. but it's also not all bad and you gotta understand people who have it and who try to relate to each other and looking for personas to relate to too. you know we all have strong need for community and to find others who are similar to us, if we are neurotypical and when we are not. I wish you could understand that some people thinking that Phil is autistic is light-hearted and positive. it's not wishing a struggle on Phil. it's just finding similarities with him and others and using the language that we know. and finding out that what we struggle with our whole lives might be autism for a lot is a relief. because we have something to name it with and to be able to communicate with others about it better. there's another can of worms of being diagnosed and what struggles it brings in itself and if it's needed or not to be able to call what we think is autism autism. but if anything, we calling Phil autistic, wish the relief on him. I really respect you and just hope you'll understand better where we are coming from. peace

Absolutely insane this is discourse😭

Although I highly appreciate your kindness and respect lmao. I’m being a bit of an asshole and you’re being very considerate. I really do appreciate it <3

[schoenpepper]

It's Okay to Play Favorites (Vice Housewardens)

Intro: You accidentally get sucked into the world of Twisted Wonderland, your favorite game, like, ever. And uh, you may or may not have teleported with a plushie of your favorite character…

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, self aware au but not god, your card collection is just you being freaky and taking pictures of them, google translated French be warned, ortho’s is platonic and if u take it any other way i ban u, lilia’s is also platonic but if u see romance crumbs i won't stop u, ik ruggie and ortho aren't vice housewardens but get this idgaf

A/N: Bro college got me fucked (second day in i know i'm a fucking whiner i hate it all). Not a request, just some random stuff I wrote during my 3 hour round-trip commute jfc. If my Jade favoritism is acting up, no it ain't.

Masterlist

Trey Clover is a man often overlooked, whether in the fandom or the world of Twisted Wonderland.

So when you get transported in during orientation, you, the player, were holding a plush form of him?

He blanks out.

Sorry Riddle, your vice housewarden kinda crashed maybe you can reboot him or something.

Trey’s never thought of himself as anything special, but he must be if he’s your favorite character, right?

You befriend him with a giddy smile, he can almost see the hearts in your eyes as you fan[redacted] so hard you actually hug him in your excitement.

The player? Hugged? Him?????

“Crazy bro that’s like super nuts so jealous of you.” - Cater Diamond

Hm, he gets a bit bashful when you take so many pictures of him.

Do you really like him that much?

He…likes you too.

“Cringe.” - Cater Diamond

I’m just a normal person, you know? At least, the closest someone can get to normal in this place. You still want me? Are you sure?

…Okay.

If you’re sure.

Unfortunately, to date a dad is to put up with dad jokes.

Do you mind though?

Makes you the most delicious pastries and confectionery known to mankind. You’ll probably get 5 lbs fatter and a sugar addiction.

But your teeth will be beautiful because he teaches you how to brush your teeth properly.

(Ten kinds of toothbrushes…)

Picnic dates.

Tea party dates.

Baking dates.

You might need to go on a diet to stay in shape because Trey doesn’t mind fat. He will probably love you more if you’re chubby.

But he loves you regardless.

Rest of the cast is like, vaguely jealous because why Trey?

But also he has a generally good rapport with other people so it’s cool.

Maybe.

Ruggie Bucchi wasn’t really paying too much attention at the ceremony but you definitely drew his focus.

Is that a plushie hyena beastman?

Does not register that it’s him until someone calls it out.

What? Why? How? When? Where?

He probably has major self esteem issues because, you know, the school’s filled to the brim with rich kids and people with status.

He has neither money nor power. So when he finds out he’s your favorite character? Boom.

He lets out his cute (im not biased) laugh but it’s because he doesn’t know how else to react.

You want to be his friend? Why not?

(Laughs again because he’s exploding on the inside)

You hug him???? Crazy. You owe him a donut for that, bro.

Thinks the picture thing is a bit weird but who is he to argue with the player?

You’re weird, y’know? There’s like princes and moguls and stuff in NRC, why me?

You like me? You find me charming?

That’s not something I’d really use for myself but hey…knock yourself out. Shishishi.

Floof.

You get to scratch his ears and kiss ‘em and watch ‘em twitch while he tries to get away from you.

Insane bro wish I was you.

Cuddly and surprisingly clingy, loves loves loves being pampered.

Are you indoctrinated by my subby Ruggie vibes yet???

His love language is sharing food.

(Have you ever tried passing candy through a kiss? No? Wanna try?)

His grandma will love you <3

The other characters will be giving him major stink eye. The scrappy hyena? Really?

Yes really.

“Whatever, good for you.” - Leona probably.

Jade Leech is amused.

Rather childish, is it not? Well, he’s flattered that you think so highly of him and even have this stuffed toy in his image.

Unfortunately, he does hold enough respect for you as the player to not immediately use your infatuation with him for nefarious purposes.

Not to say he doesn’t tease you though.

You are the flustered one here.

He’s your favorite? Oya, how interesting. He’s never seen himself the way that you do, but who is he to argue with the player?

Please, what do you like so much about him? Do tell.

(His systems crash when you hug him but you’ll never know)

You seem to enjoy taking his pictures. If you let him [redacted] you can take as many as you want.

If you don’t take him up on his offer I will!!!

My, I never expected to be your ‘favorite character’, was it? Well, I don’t mind.

What do I think of you?

Fufu, wouldn’t you like to know?

Loving a sadist means you’re probably a masochist.

You like it when he ‘unintentionally’ makes you do something stupid? Toys with you? Teases you with his annoyingly adorable super cutie pie grin?

Bro you have weird taste I could like, never~

If you didn’t like mushrooms before you do now.

You wish he’d look at you the way he looks at his terrariums.

You know that silly, happy, dopey little look he gets? The lab coat groovy one? Yeah.

Hiking dates if you’re physically able to. If not, he makes like the fanciest dinner dates ever.

He does love you, promise.

The other characters are highkey judging you.

Jamil Viper is inside his hoodie and is very unlikely to ever come out.

You’re kinda embarrassing but what is he supposed to do?

You’re the player. You have a plushie Jamil. Tiny and cute.

Jamil doesn’t see himself as cute. Wouldn’t it be better if you had a different one? Someone sunnier, someone warmer, someone like…Kalim?

Jamil’s your favorite character?

Yeah he’s not leaving his hoodie.

When you’re so happy and excited that you hug him, his soul leaves his body through his lips.

Rip Jamil Viper.

I don’t think Jamil’s very used to the camera, considering he’s technically Kalim’s servant and servants stay in the background.

But since you adore him the way that you do, well, he won’t stop you.

You’re strange. Is this a prank?

No, I don’t mean to doubt you. It’s just that…

No, nevermind. Since you want me, I’ll—love? You love me? Fine, I can work with that too.

His favorite kind of date is one where you two sleep and cuddle together.

He needs a break.

It’s not too often that he can carve time out of babysitting, so any time spent with him you’ll cherish like gold.

You can help him with chores if you manage to persist through multiple rejections.

He’d really prefer not to make the player do chores with him, but when you smile so wide like that, he can’t refuse anymore on the grounds of you not enjoying it.

Kalim can lend you guys the carpet though, you wanna fly?

While the cast doesn’t generally approve of the snake, you’re very loud about your infatuation.

They can’t stop you.

Rook Hunt is a lover of beauty, and you, the player, are the most beauté of all! (full points :D)

Qu'est-ce que c'est? A soft and fluffy copy of himself? How wonderous! Marvelous! The adorable cotton-filled blah blah blah (insert soliloquy here)

While there’s a tiny thought in his mind that perhaps the poison apple or the queen would be more befitting of a nui plush, he still takes your fascination with him in stride.

(It’s not often that he’s in this role.)

To be your favorite, it is an honor!

He shall dedicate a poem to your inner and outer beauty!

Accidentally tosses you to the ground when you try to hug him.

Desolé, instinct. Try again?

He’s not used to being the one in the spotlight, but please, take as many pictures as you need!

Love? Love is the most beautiful indeed. Comme toi, tellement adorable. Lovely.

You’re asking if I have someone I love?

Je suis un lâche de ne pas exprimer mon amour pour toi. 

Either you get what he’s saying or you remember it so you can translate later.

Anyway, have you ever wanted to hunt for sport as a date?

No?

How about getting hunted for sport?

Still no? Shame.

Rook settles for little camping trips in the woods, just you and him and the forest (and his bow and quiver of arrows and his hunting knife and his dagger and—).

He makes very good roasted meat.

You’ll enjoy it as long as you remember not to ask where it’s from.

Uh, ignore how every other cast member is judging you. Love is love, right?

Ortho Shroud is very happy! Very excited! Yay!

You’re a legendary figure, and you’re treating him so nicely! 

Is that a toy made to look like him? You like Ortho? He’s your favorite character?

Yay!

Robo baby is very happy.

Since you like Ortho, do you like Idia too?

Can you be Idia’s friend?

Can you be a new older sibling? Please?

(Say yes or I will [redacted])

Hugs? Hugs!

Forehead kisses?

Yes!

You seem to enjoy taking many pictures of Ortho. Why is this? You like him that much?

If so, maybe you two should take pictures together instead of always taking pictures of him alone. He’d love to take lots of pictures with you!

Can Idia come?

I am your favorite character? Like in a video game? This world is also a video game?

That’s great!

What kind of character am I?

Lilia Vanrouge thinks you’re funny. But also totally correct.

He must be sinful because even you, dear player, find him absolutely adorable!

Hehehe…

Is that a tiny Lilia? Good taste! It’s almost as adorable as the real one.

When you hug him in your excitement, he just laughs and pats your back.

Grandpa vibes.

A picture? Why not?

A selfie, as you kids say. (bro you’re not even detached from modern technology???)

Really likes taking pictures with you.

Since you like him a lot and he’s your favorite character, be a dear and forgo your sleep schedule to game with him.

I’m your favorite, right? Surely that means you’d love to taste my cooking?

No? Why, I’m saddened by your rejection…

There we go. It’s not so bad, is it? I made it with effort, onions, garlic…are you alright? Oh dear.

[neoraso]

riize when they're jealous

shotaro

is a little oblivious at first- for example: tries to make friends with the guy

then as the conversation drags on and taro realizes this guy is barely acknowledging him,, and is literally only talking to you he gets pretty uncomfortable

you are also getting uncomfortable and shotaro notices so he finds a way to quickly end the conversation (pretending you had somewhere else to be or smth)

he doesn't get too down about if afterwards and definitely doesn't blame you for anything he just tries to make jokes about how attractive you are "people just can't stay away from you! you're like the flower to a bee （⌒▽⌒）”

but honestly, it still irks him a bit. pls make sure to give him at least one kiss and remind him he's ur shining star

eunseok

def not the type to be worried about you around his friends or your male friends.. but random guys actually hitting on you in real.

he would never admit to being jealous, he tries to tell himself he's just annoyed with the guy or like.. worried for your safety which- um ok wtv

that being said ,, when he does get this way he goes completely cold. hard frown, glaring eyes, clenched jaw etc. etc.

he's very confident in your relationship but something about the highly unrealistic possibility that you could be swayed to leave him ruffles his feathers to say the least

i hope no one would be bold enough to try to hit on you WHILE you're with him because he'd immediately get in front of you and confront the guy "who even are you? what do you need to talk to her for?"

sungchan

oh dear lord.... it's not good. like he wont hurt anyone but sometimes wants to. like,,,

ok it depends if you were far away talking to a guy he would immediately come over and wrap his arm around you and goes "who's this." and ur like PLS don’t do anything embarrassing 😳

it’s to the point he does not want to hear about your past relationships (unless it was like a serious conversation) bc it makes his skin crawl thinking about another person touching his girl

he trusts his friends but it will take a bit of convincing to trust your friends. not bc he doesn’t have faith in you he would just get pissed at other people thinking they had a chance

i’m making him sound like a freak but he’s very open and vocal about how he feels and wants to work on it with you - but he’s always gonna be protective like a guard dog

wonbin

he’s like ., quiet possessive (?) he's just like " ur only my baby right?" wants you all to himself, near him as much as possible

jokingly says you can’t watch other groups but is like ..half joking he lowkey doesn’t want you thinking other guys are cooler than him

it really just comes down to the fact that he doesn't want to lose you.

if there was a real situation where someone was like actually flirting with you, he would get soooo sulky. - like comes over to you and puts his hand on your back, smiling at you like everything is fine 🙂( 😐)

but when he hears you say "yes, this is my boyfriend i was telling you about." his chest puffs up and he’s like jumping for joy inside T_T needs extra kisses too afterwards

seunghan

you are his baby and is very clear about it in public . always has his hands on you so it would be insane for someone to hit on you but if he walked away and someone approached u…

hhhhh lowkey gets an attitude … mostly with the other guy like tongue in cheek “is this guy serious…”

honestly kind of confrontational “can i help you? what do you need from my girlfriend?” can be intimidating when he wants to and makes sure people know he is NOT playing around

first makes sure you’re ok and then he’s like “wtf.. do i have to give you an ‘i ♡ my bf’ shirt or smth”

with his and your friends he doesn’t have a problem he trusts you all the way he just gets offended when people don’t get the hint that you’re taken

sohee

surprisingly, gets more jealous than you’d expect like sometimes ur like ???

he really just wants all your attention and if other guys try to take it he’s like . abt to start barking

that being said he trusts you 100% but when you notice his smile is like 10% less bright than usual and you ask what’s wrong he’s like “OHHH nothing -_- i just can’t believe i’m up against the whole city bc you’re so pretty. what am i to do ?”

ur just like 😭my sweet boy !! give him a kiss he’ll be cured and recovers pretty quickly

kind of is one that doesn’t really like you having male friends but he doesn’t want to control you so he’s doing deep breathing exercises if you’re really involved in a conversation with someone that isn’t him.

anton

ohhh sweet sweet anton. honestly ! doesn’t get too jealous

like he gives u your space if you’re talking to another guy but if they start subtly hitting on you he’s like ?

will bring it up to you later when you’re sitting with him like stroking your arm and he’s like “sooooo that guy ..” and ur like oh 🙄that was so annoying. did it upset you? :( and he’s like “um . i mean… well not really it was just weird ..”

will appreciate your reassurance more than he shows you

might be one to be insecure with you around the members just because you would get so close to them he’s like ha…. what if they got even closer … but then he remembers none of you would ever do that then he just hugs you a little tighter

[kikyoupdates]

Otherworldly Attraction ⭑˚🔮⭑ 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟

yandere!jjk x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

You don't know how or why, but you've been isekai'd into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen. Although your first instinct is to stay away from the plot, you've been blessed with an abnormal amount of cursed energy, and for better or worse, you find yourself sucked into the storyline. You decide that you may as well use your newfound powers for the greater good, and if you're lucky, you might succeed in rewriting some of the characters' fates. But it turns out that your presence in this world is an even bigger deal than you first thought, and soon, everyone wants to make you theirs.

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The door slides open to reveal two students, a girl and a boy, sitting around a table while they eat their lunches. Itadori steps inside, still grinning widely, and their heads turn at the sound of his voice.

“Hey, guys! I just dropped by for lunch, if that’s okay. Oh, and I brought a friend! This is [Name],” he happily introduces. 

You’re too stunned by the fact that he just referred to you as his friend to process much else, and by that point, the two students have already stood up. 

“It’s nice to meet you, [Name],” the girl greets with a smile. “I’m Sasaki, a second-year.” 

“And I’m Iguchi, also a second-year,” the boy chimes in. 

Needless to say, you already know who they are, too. Even though it was indirect on their part, they’re largely the reason why Itadori ends up at Jujutsu High, thanks to the fateful events of a certain night spent on school grounds. 

At this point in time, Itadori has yet to give them Sukuna’s finger. You’re not sure exactly when it’ll happen, but there will probably be some warning signs, like Fushiguro showing up on campus to look for it. 

Still, for obvious reasons, you feel like you shouldn’t get too involved with these two. The plot is going to proceed normally, as it should. You’re worried that something might go wrong with your interference. It’s probably best if you keep your distance, and—

“Would you like to join the Occult Research Club?!” 

“...” 

Yeah, you probably should’ve expected that. 

Itadori laughs. “Come on, guys. I didn’t bring her here to try and recruit her. I just wanted to introduce all three of you! I’m not sure if [Name]’s into that kind of stuff, anyways. It’s not really everyone’s thing.” 

“It’s true,” you nod. “I’m, uh, not that great with scary stuff…” 

“There’s nothing scary about the paranormal!” Sasaki insists. “It’s just interesting! Mysterious! Imagine what could be out there! Don’t you have a thirst for the unknown?” 

It’s precisely because I do know what’s out there that I’m scared…

“Sasaki, you’re coming on way too strong,” Iguchi chides. He turns to offer you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. We just can’t help but get excited when new people show up to our club room, but we know this kind of thing can’t be forced. You two are more than welcome to stay here during lunch.”

To some extent, you can’t help but feel a bit bad, because you know how passionate they are, and soon, Itadori won’t be around to keep them company anymore. He has no choice but to go to Jujutsu High. It’s his fate as the protagonist of this world. 

You know you can’t possibly be a substitute for someone as irreplaceable as Itadori, but once all the craziness with Sukuna’s finger passes, you’d be happy to be their friend, if they’ll have you.

“Ooh, your lunch looks really good, [Name],” Itadori remarks once you sit down and unpack your bento box.

“Thanks,” you smile. “I’ve been cooking for a while. My mom cooks too, but I just got used to making food for myself. The process helps me take my mind off things. It’s kind of therapeutic, in a way.” 

Seeing as being sucked into a fictional world is kind of—or rather, really fucking insane, it’s safe to say that you cooked up a storm when you got home yesterday. You packed up most of the leftovers for lunch today, so the food didn’t go to waste, but still. You ended up emptying a good portion of the fridge.

Itadori takes a big bite out of his onigiri, but he keeps eyeing your lunch all the while, so you chuckle and push the bento box closer to him.

“Go ahead,” you encourage. “You can have some if you want.” 

“Can I really?” he blinks, a few pieces of rice stuck to his cheek. It’s kind of ridiculous how adorable this guy is. You have the sudden urge to pull him into your arms and give him a big squeeze, but mercifully, your intrusive thoughts don’t win. 

“Of course. I packed plenty, so I can afford to share.”

“Oh—wait, but earlier, I was saying that I’d be the one to treat you! I can’t just eat your lunch! I still owe you big-time for what I did to you!” 

Itadori firmly shakes his head in refusal, then crosses his arms and makes an attempt at what you can only assume is meant to be a stern expression. But again, he’s so ridiculously cute that it’s a bit hard to take him seriously. 

Sasaki arches a brow. “What did you do to her?” 

“I, uh, may have hit her in the face with a soccer ball,” Itadori replies, shamefully shrinking in on himself.

He is literally baby. 

“Why would you do that?” Iguchi gapes. “Come to think of it, her nose is a little bruised…” 

“It obviously wasn’t on purpose!” Itadori protests. He turns towards you with an imploring expression. “[Name], I promise it wasn’t on purpose. I swear I would never do something like that!” 

You chuckle softly. “I know you wouldn’t. You definitely don’t seem like that kind of guy.”

Itadori lets out a sigh of relief and resumes munching on his onigiri. Meanwhile, Sasaki stares at you from across the table. 

“So… [Name],” she says. “You’re a first-year like Itadori, I’m assuming?” 

“Yep.” 

“I’ve never really seen you around.” 

“I’m a new student. I only just transferred in.” 

She pauses for a few moments, and you can see her eyes glistening with excitement. “So, that must mean you haven’t joined any clubs yet, right?” 

“Sasaki, not this again,” Iguchi sighs. 

“I’m telling you! Not everyone is drawn to the occult right away. It takes trial and error to figure out if it’s something you’re actually interested in. I’m not saying she has to join our club or anything. But while she’s here, she should at least dip her toes in, right?” 

Before Iguchi can protest on your behalf again, Sasaki grabs a large board from one of the bookshelves and turns towards you with a mischievous grin. 

“...you’ve heard of Kokkuri, right?” 

After school, Itadori stops by your classroom. 

“Hey, [Name],” he beams. “Thanks for hanging out with all of us during lunch. It was a lot of fun. Hopefully that game of Kokkuri didn’t freak you out too much.”

“I had fun too,” you nod. Truthfully, you’ve never really been fazed by this kind of stuff. Horror movies and the like don’t often get much of a reaction out of you. You never bought into ghosts or vengeful spirits. Well, not in the real world at least.

Unfortunately, in this world, there’s plenty of freaky shit to go around. 

“It means a lot to those guys,” Itadori says, a tinge of sadness to his smile. “We’re the only people in the school that seem to have an interest in the occult. I signed up for it because I thought it’d be fun, but we just barely meet the three-member minimum. Thanks for going along with it to make them happy, even if it’s not really your kind of thing.” 

“There’s no need to thank me. I know I said I wasn’t crazy about scary stuff, but I actually ended up having a good time. I’m glad you invited me to hang out with you guys,” you smile. 

Itadori returns your smile with one of his own—seriously, he’s almost always smiling, but you certainly don’t mind—and before you realize it, a phone has been placed into your hand. 

You blink. “What’s this?” 

“My phone,” Itadori replies, still smiling.

“Um, I mean, I know that, but why’d you give it to me?” 

“So you can give me your number. That way it’ll be easier for us to stay in touch!” He pauses, just for a moment, to frown. “Oh, but I guess I should’ve asked if you were okay with it first. I got a little ahead of myself. Would it be cool if we exchanged numbers?” 

Abso-fucking-lutely! 

By some miracle, you manage to reign in your excitement, and instead of hardcore fangirling and squealing out at the top of your lungs, you just nod. 

“Sure thing,” you say, trying to play it cool. Still, despite your best efforts to act indifferent, your fingers are trembling as you pull out your own phone and refer to the number you have saved in a notes app (because you definitely haven’t memorized it within less than a day of being here). Once you’re finished inputting your number, you pass your phone over to Itadori so he can do the same.

And just like that, you have a new contact saved. Itadori Yuji. He even added a little smiley-face at the end of his name. God, he’s so fucking cute. 

“Sweet!” Itadori grins. “Thanks, [Name]. I’ll be sure to text you lots! Sorry I can’t really stick around much longer. I just wanted to stop by real quick before I left to go visit my gramps at the hospital.” 

Right. His grandfather. A point deep in your stomach throbs uncomfortably, and you’re hit by a sudden wave of guilt. It feels awful to know that his grandfather’s end is rapidly approaching. It feels awful to know that you can’t change it, or even warn him. All you can do is feign ignorance and hope that he enjoys these fleeting moments while they last. 

You muster up a smile. “I hope you have a nice day with your grandpa. Feel free to text me whenever.”

“Will do! See ya!” 

Itadori waves you off, every bit as cheerful as always. Yet another thing that causes you immense guilt is the knowledge that his happy days won’t last forever. Soon, he’ll be thrown into a dark, sinister world that teems with death. A world that, in your opinion, is far too harsh for such a gentle soul. 

Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about that. Fate will run its course, and you must simply stand by and let it happen. 

Despite the nice day you had, your spirits are admittedly a bit low as you trudge home, having to consult Oogle Maps in order to find your way around. After being injured yesterday, the nurse called your parents to inform them of what had happened, and your mom came by to pick you up. This is technically your first time finding your way home by yourself. It’s not just a new school you need time getting used to, but a new home, a new city, a new world… all of it is bound to get a little overwhelming at times.

You wish you could say you’re completely aware of your surroundings, but that’s far from the truth. Every so often, you have to stop and squint towards the street signs to make sure you’re heading the right way. Jujutsu Kaisen is set in a fictional world, of course, but it’s a world modeled off the real world, and there’s plenty of similarities. This version of Japan is every bit as busy as the real one, for instance. Which is why you keep getting swept up in the crowds and losing your sense of direction.

Still, it’s not rocket science. You can mostly figure out where you’re going. Oogle Maps is idiot-proof, after all. Well, sort of. 

But the fact remains that you’ve never wandered these streets before, and naturally, you’re as disoriented as anyone would be in a foreign place. Hence why you don’t notice him until it’s late. 

A man with long, black hair, who’s staring right at you. 

You get jerked around by the crowd of people hurrying home during rush-hour, enough that you end up tripping onto the sidewalk and falling onto your knees. Your socks only reach up to your calves, so unfortunately, your knees get scraped open and start bleeding. 

Man. Only two days into this isekai thing, and you just can’t seem to stop getting hurt. 

“...are you alright?” 

Some guy is speaking to you. Presumably, one of the bystanders that saw you trip. Your cheeks flush, because falling in public is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen, but you instinctively reach out to grab his hand anyway. 

At the same time, your gaze pans upwards, and his eyes meet yours. 

Oh, balls. 

That’s the most appropriate response you can think of. After all, the man you’ve just had the misfortune of running into is hardly the type to be your friend. He’s not like Itadori. He’s not one of the good guys. 

He is Geto Suguru. Or rather, the curse user that’s pretending to be him. The real Geto is long dead. He was killed by his former best friend, Gojo. 

Those scars on his forehead tell you everything you need to know. The curse user’s name is Kenjaku, and he is merely using Geto’s body as a vessel. As things stand, you’re probably the only person who knows his true identity.

Regardless, the details don’t matter right now.

You’re just really fucking scared. 

Kenjaku pulls you to your feet, and unlike with Itadori, when you wished you could keep holding his hand forever, this time, you pull away viscerally fast, as if you’ve just been splashed with hot oil. 

Naturally, Kenjaku notices. 

“You didn’t answer my question, miss,” he chuckles, a cunning smile spreading across his lips. “I asked if you were alright. You took quite a tumble there. It must have hurt.” 

“I-I’m fine,” you reply, praying your fear isn’t absurdly obvious. You need to stay calm. There’s no reason why an ordinary person would be afraid of him, and if you let it show, he’ll know something’s up. 

“Your knees are bleeding,” Kenjaku points out. He leans closer to you, and you swear your heart nearly explodes. His dark, thin eyes are even more eerie from up close. “And you look like you just saw a ghost. I admit, I’m a bit worried.”

That’s bullshit if you’ve ever heard it, but nevertheless, you can’t allow your expression to crumble. There’s no reason for him to kill you out in public like this. Unlike cursed spirits, people can see him. He won’t risk drawing that kind of attention to himself. 

Probably. 

“I’m just… socially awkward,” you say, chuckling shyly for added effect. “And, uh, I’m not good at talking to handsome guys like you. I get nervous.” 

To be honest, what you just said isn’t even a total lie. Sadly. 

Kenjaku stares at you in silence for a few moments, then smiles yet again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“I’m flattered by your words,” he muses. “Well, just be careful not to trip again. You got off with a small injury this time, but if you’re not careful, it could be a lot worse. And nobody likes to hurt, do they?” 

It’s hard to tell whether or not that was meant to be a thinly-veiled threat, but you have no intention of sticking around to find out. 

“Thank you for your help, mister. I appreciate it.” 

You hastily bow to him, then waste no time before speed-walking away. The further you get, the easier it is to breathe.

But since you’re too scared to look back over your shoulder, you don’t realize that Kenjaku is still staring at you with a contemplative look on his face. 

He hums to himself. “So much cursed energy. Is she a sorcerer? But something about her seems strange. I just can’t put my finger on it.” 

Well, no matter. He’ll leave you in peace for now. He can’t very well attack you in broad daylight, and he doesn’t even know if you pose a threat. There are far too many variables to consider. 

Besides, something tells him that this won’t be your last meeting. 

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[groundzerosgirlfriend]

Traits they would want in a partner:

Senku Ishigami

(This unedited so dont @ me)

Firstly. IF you ever manage to get into a relationship with the man known as Senku Ishigami you probably deserve some kind of award for having to deal with this man’s crazed scientist bullshit every day. He literally doesn’t change one bit, he's still the same Senku that’s blunt, mean, hates physical affection and mushy words. The reward for the least romantic boyfriend goes to *drumroll effect* SENKU!

Senku probably prefers someone that’s he known for a really long time I’m talking since he was at least in junior high but the further back the better and if you were in the science club with him back in high school fantastic. Meeting new people is one thing but actually having romantic feelings for them is a whole other ball game. It’s easier and less work when liking someone who already knows him inside out and vice versa instead of having to do the whole cliché ‘get to know each other’ façade over and over again.

Also, I feel like Senku has only had like maybe 2 crushes in his entire lifetime: one was some famous scientist he saw on tv talking at a press conference at the head of the table in a room full of men and the other one was in his first year of junior high when he was bested at a mathlete competition (in his defense he pulled the most brutal all-nighter the night before while working on some insane project and messed up the placement of a decimal point) by a girl who wore the chunkiest pair of glasses known to man. He quickly got over both as he had learned that realistic the possibility of this famous scientist (who was also married) falling in love with a prepubescent boy was damn near impossible (and illegal) and the girl he liked in school ended up coming out as a lesbian when she and another girl were caught kissing each other's cheek during break time.

Senku probably likes individuals that are independent and self-sufficient like Kohaku (girl boss!!) People that are clingy and to needy are not his forte’ and makes his face sneer or deadpan brutally. He doesn’t like physical affection or words of affirmation on most days he’s more of a quality time (slaving over more experiments with you doing physical labor) and gift giving (making you little trinkets from his science experiments). I mean it’s pretty obvious remember that one episode where Senku’s own dad was about to give a long emotional speech on the record but stopped because he knew Senku would ew at it. So if you’re somebody that thrives off of praise and attention then *opens the door* please see yourself out respectfully because this man is not going to give it to you. You'll be like a little dried up cactus begging for attention.

Senku likes cleanliness and organization. Senku himself is very clean and hygienic. People that are not are usually big turn off and and an even bigger *thumbs down* for him. He’s also organized despite how his experiments and projects seem to be all over the place they’re not. He knows exactly where everything is, the exact millimeter of, every beaker, of every pipette, of every pencil. It's called organized chaos. If one thing is moved without his consent or worse, his knowledge the entire room is thrown off and he has a hard time finding anything for the next 12 hours.

Personal opinion here but I feel like Senku has as dislike for bugs. Like sure. Bugs are cool to explore and on a scientific level sure but anything other than that he’s not really cheering for joy about it. I also feel like he despises getting sick, like literally any type of sickness whether it’s the common influenzas virus or even a slight stomach bug. He’s miserable and irritated and it takes a really long time to get better because although the scientist in him tells him he needs to rest the stubborn workaholic in him tells him he’ll be fine to do a few minutes of work (which ends up turning into hours-please make this man rest🙏🙏). So if you’re the type where you’re unhygienic to the point of constantly being sick or attracting like actual bugs then either you’re going to have pick up the slack on your hygiene or leave realll quick.

Senku also likes people that smart either intellectually or when they’re witty and have a sharp mouth. If they can understand and even better add in their own input when he’s going on and on about different types of minerals sharing his excitement when they make a scientific breakthrough in the stone world he thinks if he didn't believe marriage was a social construction he'd get down on one knee with some sparkly rock he *borrowed* from Chrome's rock collection. Now even if his partner isn’t all into the science *blah blah* cells *blah blah* quantum mechanics and Schrodinger's equation a partner who is sharp on his mouth will suffice jussst as well. It's makes him snicker the tiniest bit turning his head away so no one can see the grin covered on his mouth covered by his hands. People who are blunt and not softspoken are a *big thumbs* in Senku’s book why would someone who has something to say not say it? A waste of time in his head.

Senku likes a willingness to learn even if it's just about they like every now and again. He knows that science is a high broad topic that covers from up into the vacuum known as space or as to the deep as the aquatic volcanoes known in the deep blue ocean. And he knows about it all in that gorgeous brain of his. In Senku's mind everything thing revolves around science, walking-the physiology of cells to tissues, tissues to muscles and neurological brain activity to make voluntary commands, art- the primary colors created by the art starting from things like mud, bugs and fruits, oh chemicals- easy it all starts with the period table of elements starting from hydrogen all the way down to Ogganseon. Anything you like any hobby you enjoy has to involve some kind of science and if you ask some him some questions about how it works or at least how it originates he knows that somewhere in you have the curiosity of a scientist.

Likes athleticism....maybe? Honestly, I'm kind of unsure about this one because on one hand I can see him liking people that are athletic and physically fit not because he thinks that being skinny is better or anything like that but because he can definitely use you like a horse (do yall know like those short mini scenes between the episodes where Senku like dresses up as different jobs imagine him as a farmer with a straw hat on his head in overalls a piece of straw in his mouth and a riding crop in one hand whew😩😩😩) for a lot of physical labor don't worry he'll return your hard work with a treat of your choice but be prepared he will complain about your laziness and wanting to help 'humanity' but on the other hand I could see him liking people that get winded and red faced after walking up stairs or carrying a bucket of water just like he does (extra points if it's a guy like him) because if you're both low stamina and low endurance you can't tease him about his athletic abilities. So a tie maybe.

Lastly, LOVES a strong will and determination he knows that starting the stone world back to modern humanity from scratch is no easy feat hell even he has made a few mistakes while trying to figure himself out. But what he does know is that science is filled with trail and error (mostly error) and it takes a loooot of time before you actually get what you're looking for so if you're the type to give up easily after failing once or twice and turn your back to his goal of turning the world back into the modern society he once had then....I'm sorry to say it probably won't work out for you there's only so many motivational speeches this man can give before he gets annoyed and just lets you give up without any reassurance (don't worry he doesn't take it personal), besides he still has people like Chrome, Sukia, and Kohaku to help.

@instanthideoutsalad I know you said you wanted Soft Boyfriend Head cannons of Senku but I'm so uninspired with those at the moment so please accept my humble offering of this drabble I made🙏🙏🙏🙏. I swear I'll do it soon it soon. 😪😪

[suzukiblu]

Thank-you sentences for derpsheep behind the cut; weird amnesia Timberkon. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“You can recognize their heartbeats?” Bernard asks incredulously–that is a very creepy and invasive thing to recognize about someone, much less be passively listening to, what the fuck–and then frowns. “Wait, got back from where?” 

“Long story,” Superboy mutters. “Alternate realities were involved. It sucked. But I got back here, and it’s supposed to be right, and there’s people I recognize, but there’s . . . different people, too. And no one here recognizes me. And I thought . . .” 

“That you were either totally insane or just stranded in the wrong reality for no discernable reason with no idea how to find the right one?” Bernard assumes. 

“That, yeah,” Superboy says tightly. “Definitely that.” 

“Good news, I guess, if you are insane, it’s a shared delusion, and if you’re in the wrong reality, so am I,” Bernard says. “Because again, I definitely remember you. And Hawaii. And Superman being dead. And like, all that shit in general. Also you kinda died that one time too? There was a statue, I’m pretty sure. Actually I think there were two.” 

Superboy’s smile is tight and humorless, and he digs his fingers into the inside of his wrist. Bernard has no clue how a dude in such severe and obvious distress can look so fucking good about, like . . . literally everything he’s got going on over there. It’s a lot of “everything”, is all. Superboy is a lot no matter what, obviously, but still. Like, extra a lot. Secret bonus levels of a lot. 

A lot. 

“I mean, there used to be,” Superboy says, and the pained smile he’s wearing turns–bitter, kind of. 

Fuck, Bernard feels so bad for this dude. Like so many levels of so bad. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I need to google some shit,” he says as he digs his phone out. Tim is clearly taking his sweet-ass time in the bathroom, and since he isn’t actually in there waiting for Superboy, it’s gotta be a Bat thing, which usually gives him a good fifteen or twenty minutes of fuck-around time before Tim makes it back with the weak excuse du jour. Or, like, three and a half weeks, one very memorable and kinda fucking awful time that Bernard had spent wondering if jumping into the timestream was how vigilantes ghosted you. “And maybe check some forums or something.” 

“I don’t think ‘is this weird dude at the boba shop crazy’ is gonna pop up on Bing, man,” Superboy says, still wearing the same bitter smile. Bernard wonders why he didn’t just go to the Justice League and explain himself to them. Like, they’d probably believe him, right? Or at least they wouldn’t instantly not believe him; they’d check things out or whatever. 

Alternately, though: half-Kryptonian full-telekinetic with Lex Luthor’s DNA and Superman’s face who doesn’t even know if he’s crazy or not.  

So like . . . that seems like an awkward conversation to have with Superman, maybe, Bernard allows. Or just fucking agonizing and terrifying and wildly, wildly likely to end in one of those stupid misunderstanding-based super-fights and, like, maybe also getting drop-kicked into the Phantom Zone because said stupid fight would be against Superman and that is, apparently, what Superman usually does with supervillain Kryptonians. And probably Superboy is having some very understandable issues about getting drop-kicked out of reality right now, if that’s a concern he’s had. Which–the Phantom Zone isn’t the same thing as an alternate reality, as far as Bernard’s aware, but also what the fuck does he know about the Phantom Zone? 

Bernard googles, in quick succession: Superman’s death, the Phantom Zone, and Superboy. He gets a ton of articles and photographs and blog posts with absolutely zero trace of Superboy in a single one of them, a lot of contradicting intel about what the hell the Phantom Zone actually is, and also some blurry candid photos of a ten year-old in ripped jeans and an S-shield hoodie that he’s never seen before in his life. 

. . . so that’s weird, yeah, Bernard observes, blinking down at his phone. 

“Huh,” he says, brow furrowing. “Hey, should I know this kid?” 

“Did you literally just google ‘Superboy’?” Superboy asks, which is notably not an answer to Bernard’s question. 

“Obviously, yeah, the entire internet is in my pocket, why would I not do that,” Bernard replies reasonably, still scrolling through random photos of this completely unrecognizable kid. Said kid continues to look like a total fucking stranger and Bernard continues to have zero clue who he is or why he’s wearing the “S”. Another clone, maybe? Like, an even mini-er mini-Super? Bernard can’t see his face all that clearly in any of the pics, still, but he’s at least got Superman’s coloring, it looks like. 

“Because Tim would give you shit about it, probably, I don’t know,” Superboy lies, because he very obviously does know. Probably better than Bernard does himself, come to think of it, which is kind of a weird thought but also, like, an obviously objectively true one. Superboy’s spent a lot more time with Tim than he has, even having been, like . . . unrealitied and all. 

God, that is still so disturbing a concept, too. 

[pumpk1n-writes]

Tell Me All About The Dark Places You Hide

➥ in which the reader figures out that their best friends are the infamous Woodsboro Killers and decides to help them rather than turn them in. {ft. stalking, in-depth descriptions of how the reader would murder someone, Billy uses “princess”, reader is a bit insane}

Part Two | Word Count ~ 720 (sorry, this one’s pretty short. The next few parts will be longer — this is more of an intro than an actual part and I was rushing to finish it)

The media you consume is your own responsibility and I will not be held accountable for your choices. I’m not going to block minors from this account, but proceed with caution anyway.

Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid

It was a normal Friday night for you, some old black and white horror movie on, parents gone, and homework lying forgotten about on the kitchen counter.

The phone behind you rang and you groaned, leaving it for a few moments before getting up to answer. “Who’s this?”

Somebody on the other end — clearly using a voice changer — began speaking. “Do you like scary movies?”

“Eh. I enjoy them but the suspension of disbelief needed for most of them is too much.”

“Oh? What do you mean by that?”

“Well, for one, the way that the killers in a lot of them actually do it is disappointing. They hardly toy with their victims and just straight up kill them. There’s hardly any fear, it’s just a single moment of blood and gore before it’s over.”

Billy grinned underneath his Ghostface mask. “You’re an interesting girl, what’s your name?”

“You don’t need to know that right now. What’s your favorite color?”

Without thinking Billy answered. “Red.”

“Like blood?”

“Sure, princess. Like blood.”

“Princess?”

Billy smirked again. “Well if you’re not going to tell me your name I have to find something to call you. You got a boyfriend?”

“Oh god no. They’re all toxic little shits that don’t know how to act. Besides, it’s too messy to clean up their blood.”

A beat of silence then; “For legal reasons, that was a joke.”

And all of a sudden, you were a much more fascinating person than Billy had ever imagined you would be to him. He wanted to know everything about you, all your strange little habits and personality traits that made you the way you are, your daily schedule, what your blood looked like spilled over his blade and hands.

“Hello?”

“Don’t worry, princess, I’m still here. And I have more questions for you.”

“Well I’m getting kind of sleepy so hurry it up.”

Billy smiled to himself, using his binoculars to glance around your room. You sat up on your bed, playing with something he couldn’t see. You also — he noticed, blood pooling southward — were only wearing an oversized t-shirt.

“What would you do differently as the killer in those movies?” That wasn’t the question you’d expected. Maybe your favorite band or your least favorite food. Maybe your name again. But not how you would commit murder.

You thought for a moment, humming under your breath. “For one thing, I wouldn’t make it so obvious it was me. In a lot of those movies the audience is guessing who it is in the first five minutes. That wouldn’t be me. I’m pretty outgoing and bubbly around my friends anyway, so I wouldn’t really be a suspect. Plus, my friends say I’m wicked smart but no one can tell when they first meet me.”

Billy nodded to himself. That much was true. He would never have expected you, one of his classmates who sits next to him in English, to go so in depth on how not to get caught murdering people.

You kept going. “So I would play that up. Cry at any mention of my dead classmates, but not too much or it’ll get suspicious. I’d keep up the facade of ‘perfect student’ and act disgusted when anyone brings up how I killed them. That alone would help.”

Billy laughed. “You sound like you’ve thought about this a lot.” But secretly he was taking notes.

“Sorry, I get really bored sometimes, and this is just what my mind strays to.”

Really? This is what your sick, twisted mind thought up in your free time? He wondered how many times he’d glanced over at you in English and you were plotting his death, spaced out with a happy smile on your face.

“Keep going, princess.”

“Well that’s just how I wouldn’t get caught. The actual murders themselves I would make as grisly and gory as I could think of so people would think a sweet, innocent, ‘perfect’ girl could never commit them. I would maybe draw satanic symbols on the wall in their blood or something to throw off police. I would only kill crackheads or past criminals so that the police wouldn’t really care very much to solve it. And I would only kill weeks apart so that they don’t feel immediately threatened.”

“Jesus Christ,” Billy was mostly thinking to himself, but still. He was impressed.

He also thought he might be falling in love with you a little bit.

[pixelxgore]

hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will

The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)

I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell

Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable

So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle

(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)

I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after

I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)

This is for fun and based off my head cannons

All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3

i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined

(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )

I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order

fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative

Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)

bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!

obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you

there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"

Outtake)

ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song

ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[banamine-bananime]

meets an encouraging, patient, fatherly commanding officer that chooses tucker specifically for an assignment and takes him under his wing. he’s actually a secret operative for a sinister military project recruiting tucker as a target practice guinea pig orchestrating the next couple years of his life to be a lie.

meets an alien that tells tucker he’ll help him fulfill the quest he’s the legendary hero of. he chestbursts him and steals a getaway vehicle given upon the “end” of the quest.

meets some weird computer program programmed by the culture the prophecy came from, pretty much the only remaining source of information about this “quest” that’s upended his life. it’s actually the ai of the freelancer trying to kill him and kidnap and use his kid to end the great war… uh, with slavery of the alien species

meets one of his best friends, an acquired taste and kind of an ass, but they give each other as good as they get and they’re a team. she leaves them to make the plan to capture junior and use him to enslave his species succeed. and tucker feels like can’t even be mad about it without feeling guilty because in her mind she was sacrificing herself and junior to save humankind from a losing war for survival, and immediately after he thinks she fucking dies and takes his kid with her!! they were friends and then for a few minutes they were almost enemies because she did the worst thing for the best reasons and then that’s it!!! how do you even grieve and process that. apparently tucker opted for watching reservoir dogs instead of therapy and i can’t blame him. that’s not the sort of grief you can find a self-help book for. HELLO I’VE BEEN SCREAMING FOR YEARS. never over it they make me insane.

meet some humans on the desert dig-team, charismatic down-to-earth soldier guys. breath of fresh air after he’s been stuck for months in complicated political situations with a species that has just recently decided to perhaps not kill all humans, as a reluctant religious figurehead in diplomatic corps that i’m sure just loved his way with words and women. bet he made a lot of friends there. the dig team kills them all except him and he proceeds to spend the next months in a psychological thriller slash survival horror.

meet church again. church leaves again (and then again) and tucker’s left furiously picking up the pieces of blue team with caboose and some blond guy they rescued from the pound. we needn’t talk about that blond guy and whether tucker knows he both set up and hit the Original Church Killswitch lest tucker doesn’t know and hears us because i think he doesn’t need that extra complication in his life tbqh.

meets a charismatic mercenary with a rough exterior, but a heart of gold, right when tucker and caboose have lost all of blue team’s charismatic mercenaries and/or assholes with a rough exterior but a heart of gold. he. well. he stabs him in the back, guys. you know. i can’t get more on-the-nose than that.

meets church again. he seems like maybe he kind of gets that he was an ass and won’t go off killing himself this time. immediately after reconciling he sees the siren call of martyrdom and kills himself instantly after simulating several ways it could go very, very extremely badly for tucker, not even counting the previous evidence from how this went for some blond guy (sorry i’m committed to just calling him some blond guy in this post now for no reason except that i think it’s a mildly funny bit).

meets church someone else who’s been fucked over by project freelancer. he’s been manipulating them to get close enough to freezermurder their friends and implicate them in terrorism charges.

meets yet another young stray asshole with Issues and a heart of gold who needs some guidance, maybe someone he can be the kind of a leader he wishes he could have been to green team. she also stabs him again.

at some point we have to let tucker just start stabbing people. like a lot of people. i don’t think he’d enjoy a villain arc once he realizes that’s what’s happening but he deserves the sheer free joy and clarity of just solving problems with pure simple stabbing before he comes to that realization.

[shitswiftiessay]

so taylor has put out another hit piece against joe (who’s surprised)

after buying winning the TIME person of the year award 2023, and having a gushing puff piece that’s supposed to paint her as this trailblazer for women and feminist icon…

she made sure to dedicate a significant portion of it to talking about her boyfriends. 🙄

so here are the cringeworthy excerpts where she’s talking about her latest victim boyfriend.

“Football is awesome, it turns out. I’ve been missing out my whole life.”

I love how she single handedly debunked the claim that swifties have been making, that taylor ALWAYS loved football and was a huge eagle fan (just bc she had an eagles shirt). now it’s basically confirmed that this football shit is just taylor’s newest PERSONALITY that she’s gonna wear for a few months, until she gets bored of it, and then she’ll throw travis under the bus and she’ll start siccing her fans against him.

“This all started when Travis very adorably put me on blast on his podcast, which I thought was metal as hell.”

god, someone bring me a BARF BUCKET please. 🪣 🤮 and since when is it “adorable” for a guy to PUT YOU ON BLAST because you wouldn’t go out with him or take his number?? that’s… very weird. i’m sure she wouldn’t find it “adorable” if she wasn’t interested in the guy. but anyway, i’m pretty sure she just saw an opportunity here and she took it. she can’t handle being single for more than a month, she needed a new man to make people forget about her matty healy era. and she’s LOVING the good press she’s getting for being “America’s royal couple” as her fans are calling them. but does she actually LOVE HIM? that, I remain yet to be convinced about.

and I love this part. “We would never be psychotic enough to hard-launch a first date.”

yeah, taylor’s not CRAZY you guys, it’s not like she said “I love you” to matty healy on stage back in may before breaking up with him 2 weeks later. nah. it’s not like she immediately bought a house next to her teenage boyfriend connor kennedy who was STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL when she started dating him. nah. that would be CRAZY. PSYCHOTIC even!!

and here comes the part where she starts passive aggressively smearing joe and we all know she’s on a smear campaign against joe now but it’s kind of pathetic that even while winning PERSON OF THE YEAR she has to make it about that.

so taylor obviously has a lot to say about her new relationship, and how proud they are of each other. but you know what I DON’T hear her saying? “I’m in love” or “I’m happy with him.”

and personally, i think that speaks volumes. if she was truly HAPPY with her new man she wouldn’t be doing all this shit. if you were around when taylor broke up with calvin and then immediately started hard-launching hiddleswift, taking pap photo after pap photo and being extremely “happy” she was and meeting his mom and all that shit…. and if you don’t see the parallels between what she’s doing NOW with travis, you’re either a blind fan or just flat out stupid.

because at least when she started dating joe she actually left her exes alone (at least for a little while), she was like “I forget their names now.” and you can tell she was happy without having to make a big show of it- “nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was.”

but now she’s acting like it’s the worst thing ever that she was “locking herself in her house for a lot of years,” and she KNOWS that her fans are going to take that and blame joe for it.

JUST LOOK at the quotes and replies of this tweet and this tweet to see how those insane fucking swifties are acting over this. EVERYTHING she does now is an incitement against joe and she knows it, it’s deliberate, it’s calculated.

and i guess she’s gotta bury him while she continues hanging out with a sexual abuse apologist so she can look like she has some kind of moral high ground.

also, the way she’s trying to erase the fact that 11 of the 15 songs on reputation were LOVE SONGS about joe, not “a goth-punk moment of female rage at being gaslit by an entire social structure.”

this woman is just narcissistic and straight up DELUSIONAL at this point. she’s so far up her own ass it’s nauseating. but i really hope that she keeps on talking. because the more she talks, the more people realise what a narcissistic clown she is. 🤡

[coupleoffanfics]

Gotham Isekaied Reader

I have an idea. It's nothing new. I wrote nearly 5 pages of this idea, but I'm too scared to post it since it's filler and I even drew a cover. So I will ramble about this idea through headcanon. Some Jerome x Reader, I’m sorry. I can’t help myself. CW: One mention of suicide.

y/n wakes up to find that her life has gotten a major upgrade. Any flaws that her family has is erased. Did mom drink away stress? Now she doesn’t even touch alcohol. Dad isn’t smoking away his life. Her older brother is a law-abiding citizen who is studying to become a lawyer. Her younger brother is more positive about life and growing up in a home that they wished they had.

Not to mention that they’re rich. She no longer lives in a bad neighborhood and sleeps in a snazzy mansion.

Life is looking up until y/n turns on the TV with a news story about a man killing corrupt people with weather balloons.

She sits there thinking, ‘This was nice, but I should be getting back home.’

Maybe y/n’s close friends with Bruce beforehand. That’s when she realizes that she has to learn about the other y/n’s life. She can’t risk telling anyone about “we’re in a shitty TV show” without everyone considering throwing her into a mental institution. Tough luck because she ends up in Arkham regardless.

She writes down plotlines that she remembers. Making files on the character that she has met. Her files are hidden away in her room and aren't brought up later down the line when a certain person finds them.

How y/n ends up in Arkham is complicated. I want y/n to be completely sane through our POV, so she’s not going to be “I’m so insane and quirky”. Maybe she’s framed or killed someone in self-defense. Well, okay, I have thought out what gets her thrown into Arkham, but I don’t think anyone would find it interesting.

During her trial, the prosecutor will use her history of depression and suicide attempts to paint her as a homicidal. The whole trial is fishy, yet ends with her being locked up.

Bruce believes y/n when she says she hasn't done anything and promises to get her out of there. Legally of course.

Alfred probably tries to keep Bruce from visiting because Arkham has a reputation and doesn’t want him to be anywhere near there. The poor boy is going through too much in a short amount of time. 

So Bruce will send Selina to deliver anything. Or they both run away to visit y/n. When they come back to the manor and Alfred is questioning them, they both lie by saying that they’re somewhere else.

Bruce just wants to make sure his bestie is alright. Selina is just along for the ride but might visit y/n even when she doesn’t need to.

While in Arkham y/n is vibing in her little corner when Jerome starts bugging her. Might tell him about some plotlines just to see if anyone would believe her.

Jerome just laughs it off and starts orbiting y/n because she’s interesting. She tends to ramble and mumble to herself, for some reason he finds it so cute.

“You’re kind of funny, but I wouldn’t call you a joker.” She says before thinking, ‘Because legally you aren’t him. Thanks a lot, higher-ups.’

He writes about her in his diary and uses any stickers that she gives him. ‘Yeah, she's weird. Calling people characters and saying that we aren’t real, but she’s my little weirdo. I also got another pack of Hello Kitty stickers from her.’ Then he proceeds to doodle her with crayons.

When Theo Galavan surprise adopts them, Jerome starts taking y/n’s words more seriously. Still doesn’t believe her when she says he and everyone aren’t real. Like how is that possible? He feels real, oh whatever he has no time for that.

At the manor, Bruce is freaking out and dialing Jim begging him to save his bestie from that homicidal ginner. Theo has to make it seem like y/n is a hostage since she refuses to do any killing and Jerome has scary dog privilege.

‘They aren’t real. They aren’t people.’ She’d try to tell herself, but she just can’t bring herself to try to hurt someone. y/n is one of those freaks who try to drive safely in GTA without running over anyone or anything.

She doesn’t think that her words mean anything and that everything will follow the script. Until she tells Jerome to take an extra lighter with him. She’s chilling by herself when the news shows footage of a burnt bus and the news anchor talking about the cheerleaders who lost their lives.

That’s when y/n starts thinking over everything she’s said. She debates whether or not she should tell Jerome about Theo’s betrayal.

‘The show does start declining in ratings when he’s killed off. I could be doing the writers a favor, but what about the people? No, characters. They’re just characters! They aren’t real!’

In the end, Jerome is killed off and she’s put back into Arkham. Everyone is surprised by how calm she is after Jerome’s death. Not upset or anything. Like weren’t they close? Maybe their relationship was more one-sided.

Jim will question y/n and she might let a few things slip. Most brush her words off as they believe that she has some sort of Stockholm syndrome and is angry at Theo for killing her captor.

Back at Arkham, y/n yells, “FUCK!” When seeing Hugo Strange.

When Theo is dealt with, Jim will visit her or send her a thank you card for pointing him in the right direction regarding the investigation.

I’m getting tired and I might continue writing about this.

But I was going to have y/n be free from Arkham when some evidence regarding her case comes out. y/n will be outwardly passive throughout the story.

In the end, I was going to have y/n be the one who becomes Joker. Maybe she falls into a tub of chemicals. Don’t worry darling you aren’t going to be deformed like Jeremiah at the end. You’ll look different, but still smoking hot. 😘

Anyway seeing the physical change, her dwindling hope of getting back home, and her mental state being worn out. She decides to step up and take the name of Joker.

Bruce angst all the way. Maybe angst for other characters, but I could see this tearing him apart. He’s forced to watch his closest friend be replaced by a cackling monster. To then eventually start fighting against her.

She doesn’t react to being called y/n anymore, but she’ll give Batman/Bruce a melancholy look if he calls her by that. He doesn’t call her y/n often because that wasn’t y/n. y/n l/n was dead and there was no way she was coming back.

The theory of Joker being sane will ring true to y/n. She knows this isn’t real. It’s just fiction and any good piece of fiction needs a good villain. Since she’s not making it back home, she’ll make things fun.

Or multiple endings because those are always fun.

“Jerome? Jeremiah? Never heard of them.”

[soft-mafia]

Writes you headcanons for Buggy x Younger reader so you don’t have to get emberassed asking for them:

- Usually doesn’t go for people who are like, a decade younger than he is. He makes jokes and he finds people in the 20 - 25 range attractive but he usually never actually starts anything because it’s either very clear that they are just at wildly different stages in life, that they aren’t interested in him (and he is a monster he’ll tell you, but he very rapidly makes it clear he’s also not THAT kind of monster), or they are attracted to him and he can already tell that they are either having a wrong image of him or that they are misguided and, again, he’ll take advantage of people but he’d walk into the ocean to drown himself before he goes that route.

-So when he actually finds someone that’s younger than him but actually is interested in him like that and also kind of…. Know what they are getting into with him? Who realize he’s been beaten down by the world and a jackass and pompous and imperfect and a whole nother set of unflattering adjectives but also keep insisting that “Yeah no, I am actually still into that.”? He’s a bit perplexed to put it mildly. Will need ages of confirmation and his partner proving that they are capable of choosing for themself and aren’t just feeling puppy love for him.

- Still isn’t convinced that this entire thing is built to last so it will probably be harder for him to open up to them in any ways, even moreso than it already would be if they were in his age range. In turn he’s actually gonna put in some good amount of effort to make the entire thing not completly regrettable for them. He thinks that you eventually gonna realize that you’re better of with someone you’re age, with a stable life and no criminal record but he’s gonna try and make your time with him at least a good one.

- if your first times with him he’s gonna make damn fucking sure he puts out his fucking A-Game. Not really a gentle lover but he’s gonna make sure you are completly fucked out and satisfied by the end of it. He gives you oral and you will have come at least once before he even thinks of sticking his dick inside you. Way more foreplay and kissing than he usually (pretends to not) like. Keeps his devil fruit powers to a minimum because he figures elaborate Chop Chop assisted positions are a bit much for a first timer.

-After that tough he’ll gladly indulge you in any kinky shit you want to try with him. Goes insane when you grab him close one night with your legs wrapped around him and whisper into his ear if you can call him “daddy”. He’s a constant stream of dirty talk after that “Yeah, yeah come on tell daddy how much you like it!”

- Into dirty talk in general actually, loves to bring attention to your age difference at times. fucks you mercilessly from behind before bending over and whispering “You look like such an innocent little thing. Hard to believe you’re letting a dirty old clown like me fuck you almost every single night. I’m a fucking lucky bastard.”

- For all the big game he talks and for how high his libido still is, he still sometimes regrets going so hard on you the day after. You’re already up and jumping into the shower while he turns around still exhausted from last night. Trying out those new positions seemed like a great idea at the time but now he feels like he’s been swallowed and chewed up. How can someone that much younger than him ride THAT hard? Forgets his worry tough when he hears you humming in the next room. Debates with himself for two seconds if he should go back to sleep before throwing the sheets of himself to come join you in the shower. If one of you starts anything during that? …. Wellll he can deal with being just a little more exhausted at breakfast. You make him feel younger than he is

ANON THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[just-a-casual-newtasaur]

Ask and thee shall receive:

His Tommy

His Tommy (Newtmas)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: graphic descriptions, insanity, depressed Newt, SPOILERS, blood, self exiting, guns/knifes, please tell me if I missed any

Summary: Newt’s flare is getting worse and even Thomas can’t help him now.

(For @ssseashell and anybody else who’s been looking for this. Not my finest work but it’s something)

He stared blankly at the boy, not entirely sure what to do. He recognised him, there was warmth and happiness linking with this boy, but no, that couldn’t be right. The voices, they told him that the munies were bad, they kept him safe, the voices did.

His voice was soft but it sounded like one thousand tiny knives that pierced Newt’s ears, “Hey. Newt. It’s me, Thomas. You still remember me, right?”

That was it. Thomas. That greenie, the one who had hovered on the edge of his decaying mind for a long time. He was his friend, wasn’t he? And yet Newt would not forget how the boy had ignored his note.

How could he? What kind of friend would leave him like he was, trapped with his insanity and the voices. No, that wasn’t right, the voices were his friend, the voices kept him safe. But, wasn’t Thomas his friend? No, he couldn’t be, what kind of friend didn’t even fill out his final request.

“I bloody remember you, Tommy. You just came to see me at the Palace, rubbed it in that you ignored my note. I can’t go completely crazy in a few days.”

The boys hazel eyes filled with sadness and hurt but he felt no sympathy. This was not his friend, the voices told him so.

“Then why are you here? Why are you with … them?” He looked towards the cranks and Newt found the voices telling him what to say. Besides, the words were true, weren’t they? The voices knew best.

“It comes and goes, man. I can’t explain it. Sometimes I can’t control myself, barely know what I’m doing. But usually it’s just like an itch in my brain, throwing everything off-kilter just enough to bother me—make me angry.”

“You seem fine right now.”

Newt would have smiled if he wasn’t so angry with the boy. Did he really think he could ignore his note and then pretend that everything was fine and expect him to pretend nothing had changed. That he hadn’t changed.

“Yeah, well. The only reason I’m with these wackers from the Palace is because I don’t know what else to do. They’re fighting, but they’re also a group. You find yourself alone, you don’t have a bloody chance.”

“Newt,” Thomas started softly, “come with me this time, right now. We can take you somewhere safer, somewhere better to …”

Newt laughed humourlessly his head twitching as he did so. How could he possibly suggest him? Did he even know what Thomas had put him through.

No, Thomas is our friend, he wants to help us, it was a small squeak in the back of his head, the part of his brain not contaminated by the flare.

But the voices knew best, and so he should abide to their wishes.

“Get out of here, Tommy. Get away.”

“Just come with me,” Thomas was begging now, his eyes wide. “I’ll tie you up if it makes you feel better.”

This made Newt snap, “Just shut up, you shuck traitor! Didn’t you read my note? You can’t do one last, lousy thing for me? Gotta be the hero, like always? I hate you! I always hated you!”

But that wasn’t true, he didn’t really hate Thomas, did he? He didn’t even know anymore.

“Newt …” Thomas tried again but Newt continued, “It was all your fault! You could’ve stopped them when the first Creators died. You could’ve figured out a way. But no! You had to keep it going, try to save the world, be the hero. And you came to the Maze and never stopped. All you care about is yourself! Admit it! Gotta be the one people remember, the one people worship! We should’ve thrown you down the Box hole!”

He didn’t know why he was so angry but he couldn’t help himself. Someone shouted something from behind Thomas, “I’m gonna blast him! Get out of the way!”

“Don’t! It’s just me and him! Don’t do anything!”

Why the hell was Thomas defending him, he was evil. Evil, evil, evil, and Newt hated him. But did he really?

“Newt, stop. Just listen to me. I know you’re okay in there. Enough to hear me out.”

He almost laughed again, but instead curled his lip in disgust, “I hate you, Tommy!”

The boy looked hurt and even, a little frightened. He took a step away from Newt, with only added to his rage.

“I hate you I hate you I hate you! After all I did for you, after all the freaking klunk I went through in the bloody Maze, you can’t do the one and only thing I’ve ever asked you to do! I can’t even look at your ugly shuck face!”

He was becoming more and more riled by the second, spit dripping from his mouth as he glared at Thomas. The boy took two more steps backward and said quietly, “Newt, you need to stop. They’re going to shoot you. Just stop and listen to me! Get in the van, let me tie you up. Give me a chance!”

That was his ticking point. All his built up rage bubbled over and he let out an animalistic scream of fury, rushing towards Thomas. A fizz of electricity rushed past his ear but he ignored it, pinning down Thomas and continued to scream at him.

“I should rip your eyes out. Teach you a lesson in stupidity. Why’d you come over here? You expected a bloody hug? Huh? A nice sit-down to talk about the good times in the Glade?”

Thomas shook his head, gasping for breath, Newt saw him groping around for his gun.

“You wanna know why I have this limp, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don’t think I did.” His voice was cold.

“What happened?” Thomas asked, his fingers wreathing around his weapon.

“I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the Doors closed. I hated the place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was all … your … fault!”

The voices told him to kill Thomas, to kill him for what he did to all of them, but he held out. The small sane part of him told him that Thomas was his friend. He deserved to try and redeem himself.

He grabbed the hand that Thomas had holding his gun and pressed it to his own forehead.

“Now make amends! Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters! Kill me! I trusted you with the note! No one else. Now do it!”

“I can’t, Newt, I can’t.” He tried to wrench his hand away but Newt wouldn’t let him.

“Kill me, I trusted you, I trusted you.”

“Newt I can’t.”

“KILL ME!”

“Newt I-“

He couldn’t take it anymore. All the rage he had ever kept bottled up seemed to gush out of him like a waterfall. His mind had completely slipped, that one sane part of him gone. He didn’t think, not in the slightest. All he knew was that there was a traitor in front of him. And so he complied to the voices.

Grabbed the knife out of his belt, he curled it in his fingers and brought it down on the boys chest, screaming loudly.

Scarlet spurted out of the wound and Thomas’ wide scared eyes fixed on him. His mouth curled into a twisted, manic smile as he watched the life drain out of those eyes. Thomas’ chest heaved and then moved no more, with eyes glazed over and his mouth hanging open a little.

Newt looked into his eyes and something shifted in his stomach. He was sent back to the time that he first saw those eyes. Wide and scared, glancing around wildly. He remembered when Thomas came up in the box. It was as though he saw him clearly for the first time.

His eyes flitted from the body of the boy and his own clothes, stained in scarlet blood. And he screamed. Screamed so loud it seemed to tear at his throat. His whole body shook and tears began to fall.

He had given in, lost to the voices. He had killed. Not just anyone. He had killed Thomas.

Thomas. Thomas, who would give him small soft smiles from across the glade. Thomas, who would grip at his arm when the grievers attacked the homestead. Thomas, who would curl next to him in the scorch, using his own body to keep Newt warm during the night.

He had killed him. His sunlight. His smile, His world. His everything. He had killed his Tommy.

And with that thought, he grabbed the gun from Thomas’ hand with his own shaking ones and pressed it to his forehead. He pulled the trigger, feeling a blinding flash of pain before a sort of numb feeling. His ears rung and his eyelids grew heavy.

He needed to sleep, if he were to just close his eyes for a moment. But he needed to do something first. His body had fallen next to Tommy’s and he looked into the boy’s eyes, lifting himself laboredly and pressing a soft kiss to the boy’s lips. They were still warm.

“Goodbye Tommy.” He whispered to the boy, and then he laid back, and went to sleep.

[69misato69]

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures (Alhaitham x Kaveh) ✦ smut, 3.5k

archive of our own ✦ twitter

masterlist pinned on my profile !

Summary: Kaveh overhears Haytham having a one night stand and he is unable to think of anything but fucking him. The initial premise was meant to be crack, then it turned into an actual fic but I do still find it kind of funny if I'm being honest. I hope you enjoy :)

Top Alhaitham x Bottom Kaveh

cw: blowjobs, handjobs, ejaculation, slight overstim, unprotected anal sex

writer's note: explicit +18 content, please view at your own risk. thank you, have fun !

“Haytham!” Kaveh angrily walked into the living room to find his roommate reading on the couch as always, “We have a problem.”

The scribe didn’t lift his gaze from the page and turned it over with his index finger, “I have a feeling that it's your problem and I have absolutely nothing to do with it.” Kaveh crossed his arms at his chest, refusing to follow-up in an attempt to get his attention. Per usual, it was a futile effort, so he gave up with a long, annoyed exhale, “I can’t get laid. It’s getting out of hand.”

Alhaitham was unfazed by the abrupt indecency, it was Kaveh after all, he had spent years trying to teach the concept of boundaries to him but the man was sticking to his values of oversharing and making every detail of his life public to their small household. “Impossible, it's your only source of income.” Alhaitham jested, skilfully hiding the half-smirk that formed on the corner of his mouth. Kaveh gasped and squeezed his fists, “Rude and untrue.” he protested. Alhaitham turned another page and settled more comfortably in his seat, “Mmhm, do go on.”

“My proposal is to fuck.”

“Seems like an appropriate solution, any candidates?”

Alhaitham could see where this conversation was going from miles away, but for now his plan was playing dumb and savoring the moment as his roommate further embarrassed himself. “The proposal is for you and me.” Kaveh certainly didn’t sound ashamed, laying down an unchaste and indecent offer as if it was nothing. 

“You want us to fuck?”

“Yes. What is your answer?”

“Who fucks who?

“You top.”

“Why, you don't like it?

Alhaitham heard footsteps approaching him, Kaveh snatched the book away from his hand and put it down on the table. Alhaitham hated it when he did that, but he was drawing too much joy from the situation that he wasn’t bothered at all.

Kaveh stood between his parted legs and looked down on him with his arms crossed once again. “Haytham. Listen to me very carefully. Fucking you won’t solve my problem. This is serious. I need to be thrown around, okay? I need to forget my own name. I can’t take it anymore. You’re as emotional as a Scarab, so I’m sure you won't catch feelings. Also, I assume you’re packing down there. So please , stop drawing this out and just answer me.” he explained calmly, as if the words he uttered weren’t absolutely insane. 

Alhaitham nodded, “Fine, I accept.” Kaveh’s eyes lit up momentarily, then the spark vanished with the growing awkwardness between them. Alhaitham parted the silence, “What are you waiting for?” Kaveh was frozen in place, he hadn’t planned things this far. He didn’t even think the scribe would accept. Though it seemed impulsive, it had been on his mind for some time, since the day he was supposed to check up on a project and stay overnight in the desert last week. 

He had told Alhaitham beforehand, it was an unspoken rule between the two. Kaveh enjoyed having people over but they kept it confined within the walls of his bedroom, Alhaitham would only see those people for a moment in the mornings when they would be leaving, but he would never bring home someone he was involved with. Kaveh didn’t exactly know why, but he knew that the scribe definitely cared for his privacy. Regardless of the reason, he tried to tell Alhaitham when he was going to be away, in case he wanted to have the house to himself and have people over. Everytime he came back he would notice signs but would never pester his roommate about it. 

So last weekend, he got ready for his departure as always, failing to account for the fact that he was extremely tired. He came home and went to bed immediately, confident that he would easily get up near noon and leave with the convoy. But when he finally opened his eyes, rested and light as a feather, the time was nearing five in the afternoon. 

He got off the bed, cursing as he made his way through the kitchen to quench his thirst. He sat on the balcony for a while and then ran inside upon spotting Alhaitham in the distance. The scribe approached the door, Kaveh could hear him from the large window opening to the balcony. But he wasn’t alone, there was a tall brunette tangled around his arm. Kaveh rubbed his temples, trying to devise a plan by the time they made their way up. 

If he left he would undoubtedly run into them, plus he wasn’t even dressed. Even if he found a way to evade them, everyone that would welcome him in the city was out in the desert with the rest of the team. Though he liked to poke fun at Alhaitham, he handled most of the housework, cooking and cleaning, taking care of their plants and, taking care of Kaveh. It was his house after all, and if he saw Kaveh there he would surely never bring anyone home ever again. Kaveh truly didn’t want to shatter his trust in him. 

So, the only option was to hide in his room. It wasn’t so bad, he was still tired after all. Hurriedly, he sneaked a bottle of water and some snacks and ran to his bed. Alhaitham walked in with the man that Kaveh didn’t know, they cooked dinner together, laughing and talking about things that were terribly boring to the blonde. Yet, it was interesting to hear Alhaitham crack up at the jokes, he surely never laughed like that at Kaveh or at anyone at work. 

It was actually kind of nice to see a more human side of him. Kaveh couldn’t help but smile all evening, sketching his new plans quietly and occasionally taking breaks to eavesdrop on the two. From what he had gathered, it didn’t seem like a serious relationship, maybe it was just a casual thing, and maybe it wasn’t even a ‘relationship’ at all, Kaveh thought, until later that night, when Alhaitham took the man to his room. 

After that, all that Kaveh heard was the rustling of clothes and kisses through the thin walls, and the man moaning Alhaitham’s name over and over again. Kaveh should’ve just plugged his ears, but he felt paralyzed, unable to move a single muscle until he realized he was gripping tightly onto the sheets. He whispered curses when he felt a twitch in his groin, it was extremely annoying to get hard at Alhaitham’s grunts. 

Aside from the frustration he also felt, perverted. It was wrong , slipping his hand inside his boxers was wrong, imagining his own self under Alhaitham was wrong, lusting over something that he wasn’t even meant to hear was so wrong. But, that didn’t stop him. He laid down, playing with himself to the melody of his roommate’s soft moans and words of praise. 

It was so unattainable, what that man was achieving. It was so out of touch for someone like Kaveh. What he felt wasn’t jealousy, but it was certainly something. After the two settled down, Kaveh also felt his eyelids get heavy once again. He rid himself of the overwhelming thoughts and drifted off to sleep. Luckily, the house was empty in the morning. All that remained was a note with beautiful handwriting that Alhaitham slipped through the door, probably before leaving for work. 

“Hope you had a safe trip back. I’ll be away until tomorrow. Please do not leave the window open again. H.”

Kaveh sighed. He went to drop off the plans and apologize for missing the trip. Since he was going to have the house all to himself, he decided to hit the tavern and hopefully find someone to spend the night with. He desperately needed to shake off Alhaitham’s voice from his ears, but it seemed impossible. Instead of taking an interest in newcomers, he spent the entire night drinking and thinking of his roommate. 

Kaveh barely made it through the rest of the week, bickering with Alhaitham as usual but having his mind drift off to lewd fantasies of him whenever he was unoccupied was exhausting and confusing. So he really wasn’t lying when he told Alhaitham that he couldn’t get laid, Kaveh had just conveniently left out the part that Alhaitham was the reason for that, and the only cure for his debilitating condition. 

“I—don’t know. Do something, Haytham.”

“I take care of your drunk ass every night, you do something for once.” 

“Fine, but don’t enjoy it too much.”

Kaveh lowered himself to his knees and reached to undo the scribe’s pants. “I don’t think I will.” Alhaitham chuckled. 

“Stop being mean or I’ll bite.”

“It’d be the last time you ever bite anything, Kaveh.” 

Kaveh couldn’t help but laugh as he slipped away his roommate’s underwear. “Damn, pretty.” he remarked out loud accidentally. It really was decent, Kaveh couldn’t help but imagine it inside himself, the thought lit a spark in his groin. “It’s a dick?” Alhaitham said, bewildered by Kaveh’s comment. 

“So, I’m not allowed to find it pretty?”

“Why don't you suck it so I can have some peace and quiet?”

Kaveh huffed and looked up at him daringly. Not fighting back was taking everything he had, but for once, Kaveh had the chance to actually impress Alhaitham. When it came to housework, the scribe would always complain that he didn’t do things properly, and when he acclaimed Kaveh's work as an architect, well, that wasn’t really a personal thing. So, he decided to revel in the opportunity. He tied up his hair neatly and leaned forward, holding onto Alhaitham’s waist with both of his hands. 

Kaveh first left a trail of kisses all over his thighs, grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin. Alhaitham twitched at the sensation as the blonde’s mouth moved up to his groin. He dragged his tongue around the scribe’s cock hungrily, being rewarded with light moans. Kaveh sucked on the tip, looking up shamelessly before sliding his mouth all the way down. 

He was bobbing his head up and down and altering the way he sucked and released with such precision that Alhaitham felt like he could orgasm at any moment if he wanted to. “Not bad.” he mumbled, it was an understatement but was necessary to humble Kaveh. 

But he was persistent, he supported his movements by placing one hand around Alhaitham’s base, timing them in a way that he knew would drive his roommate insane. Curses spilled out of Alhaitham as he yanked on Kaveh’s ponytail and pulled him up by the waist. 

“Hey! I wasn’t done.” the blonde objected, but he still wrapped his arms around his roommate’s neck regardless. Alhaitham freed his hair from the pin and pressed a kiss onto his neck, “Well, I want you here, on my lap.”

Kaveh felt his heart skip a beat, Alhaitham stripped him slowly while peppering kisses all over his upper body. He shivered once he was fully naked on the scribe’s lap, the erection rubbing against his entrance already.

Alhaitham took such good care of him, massaging his thighs, playing with his hardened nipples and leaving bite marks all over his sensitive skin. Kaveh held onto his roommate’s shoulders for support, he felt like a ball of yarn at the mercy of a cat’s paws, he had no choice but to unravel. 

Alhaitham slipped two fingers in Kaveh’s mouth, watching the blonde carefully as he sloppily lubricated them, eager to move on. Kaveh was already grinding back and forth, he couldn’t help it, just as he couldn’t help tilting his head back and moaning Alhaitham’s name as he quivered for his touch. 

Alhaitham took out his fingers and circled them around Kaveh’s hole. Though they had been in this position for some time, Kaveh leaned in for the first time to kiss his roommate on the lips. Alhaitham passionately responded, intruding Kaveh’s mouth with his tongue and his hole with his fingers. 

The blonde sank even deeper on his lap, grinding onto the digits with excitement. His moans escaped into Alhaitham’s mouth, hot breath hovering over the scribe’s face. Alhaitham pulled away and lifted his lips to line up with his entrance, Kaveh took a deep breath before pushing all the way down, all in one go with a low groan. 

Alhaitham hissed, the warmth came so suddenly, and Kaveh’s walls sucked him up with no hesitation or delay, it was impressive, how he took it with such ease and the way fit him perfectly. “So good, Kaveh.” Alhaitham purred in his ear while playing with his nipples. The blonde stuttered and then decided not to speak at all. Instead, he slid back and forth, up and down in circular motions, fucking himself on Alhaitham’s cock as he kept pampering him. 

“L—let’s go inside.” Kaveh offered. Alhaitham carried him to his bedroom without pulling out, with every step he took the blonde gently hopped up on his lap. The scribe entered and immediately slammed Kaveh on the wall, he cried out from the overwhelming sensations, the cold surface against his back, the sharp momentary pain that stabbed his hips, and the way Alhaitham reached so far up his hole with the force of the impact. He was thrusting somewhere so deep that Kaveh didn’t even know such a place existed. 

“Thrown around, you said, right? Does this suffice?

Alhaitham pushed him even further, instead of letting Kaveh slip back, he held his hips and drew them in, maintaining the depth that made Kaveh’s eyes widen with every thrust. “I don’t know about making you forget your own name but I’ll make sure you at least won’t be able to speak it.” Alhaitham cooed in his ear. Kaveh was already far gone, drool spilled from his lips over to his roommate’s chest, he was gasping for air, breathing out incoherent words. 

Alhaitham kept holding him close, Kaveh didn’t deserve anything short of being filled up to the brim. Though, after a few more thrusts, he felt warm liquid seep out of Kaveh’s tip and pulled away, leaving only an understimulating portion inside. Instinctively, the blonde tried to wrap his fingers around his cock but Alhaitham swiftly pinned both of his wrists above his head with a single move. Kaveh winced at the distress, he struggled to free his hands and whined, “Stop it, Haytham, you’re—ruining it.” 

Alhaitham smirked, “Oh, am I?” The rest of Kaveh’s load leaked out pathetically as he begged the scribe to help him out. Alhaitham didn’t seem to care, he watched the blonde ride it out with a cruel and merciless smile. “Put me down.” Kaveh spat out angrily. 

Alhaitham stepped away and released his grip on his wrists and hip. Kaveh hadn’t accounted for the fact that his legs were on the edge of giving out, with Alhaitham gone he collapsed on the floor, his knees knocking up against the harsh, wooden surface. Alhaitham grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it back roughly so Kaveh would look up at him. 

“I’ll give you a proper one, Kaveh. I promise.” His words were comforting but the playful look on his face surely wasn’t. Regardless, Kaveh was hitting a point where all the pain started to feel right. His aching back, knees and hips, his abused hole that was already yearning for more, and now the stinging feeling at the base of his scalp. It had become so pleasurable, so delicious as it pumped adrenaline through Kaveh’s veins. 

Alhaitham was just as he expected, selfish and impudent, disregarding the amount of agony he was putting Kaveh through and discourteously ruining his high while feeling zero remorse. The more Kaveh realized it, the more he was drawn to the scribe. He stuck out his tongue, leaving a wet trail from Alhaitham’s base all the way up to his tip. He encased his cock inside his lips, this time much more gently, grazing the tip against the insides of his cheeks. 

Alhaitham had expected him to make a bigger fuss before settling into submission again. “I didn’t know you could behave so well.” he gave a backhanded compliment that made Kaveh’s brows furrow and pushed his head away. The blonde’s whines stayed muffle on his throat when the scribe picked him up and laid him on the bed. 

Kaveh relaxed onto the mattress, finally resting on a soft surface. Alhaitham sat between his legs, but the sight suddenly stunned him. He had seen Kaveh almost everyday for the past two years, and in almost every conceivable scenario. Exhausted and alert, sober and drunk out of his mind, snorting from laughter and sobbing uncontrollably. But this was a new entry, unregistered. Laying down on the bed with bruised knees and a sheer coat of sweat, eager to have Alhaitham take care of him. His golden locks scattered over the pillow and his cheeks tinted pink.

He looked absolutely breathtaking, and Alhaitham realized that he never stared at him for this long. The most he would do was take stolen, quick glances from his book when Kaveh would fall asleep on the couch. Not that he was going to wake up, but secretly Alhaitham was scared of seeing something, he didn’t even know what that “something” was, but now it was clear to him. Kaveh was beautiful, ethereal. Slithering over him lustfully, it wasn’t like anything Alhaitham had ever seen before. 

You’re as emotional as a Scarab, Haytham. 

“I know, I’m pretty.” Kaveh snapped him out of his thoughts, Alhaitham had lost track of time, he scoffed with a dramatic eye-roll, “And a shallow idiot.”

“Well you almost came inside that idiot two times so that makes you even more shallow.”

“What?”

“You edged twice, didn’t you?”

“How do you know that?”

“Well I felt it.”

Alhaitham chuckled, he was awfully good at hiding every physical cue, it was interesting, Kaveh was oblivious to his mastery during daily life, but apparently he was immune to the deception when it came to being intimate. 

“How is it that a field expert like you can't find someone?” Alhaitham quipped as he leaned forward and slid inside. 

“I—fuck—don’t know. It’s been like that for the past week.”

“No luck yesterday either?”

“Uhh…not really. I sat at the tavern but no one even bought me a drink.”

“I would. If you were there.”

“Sorry?” Kaveh was flushed, his legs wrapped around the scribe’s waist went numb for a moment, his mind was at a blank as well. 

“I was at the tavern yesterday, doing corrections. Almost all night.” Alhaitham seemed very calm, he was sliding in and out with a relaxed pace, watching Kaveh slowly lose composure and fall apart. It truly was a terrible time for his roommate to come up with an excuse or a lie, and that was why Alhaitham had brought it up right then and there. 

Kaveh felt like an ice cube slowly melting away into a puddle, for a brief moment it actually seemed pretty ideal to disappear so he didn’t have to deal with the situation. Luckily, Alhaitham didn’t expect an explanation, he picked up the pace, eliciting deep moans off of the blonde’s lips. Kaveh was already feeling close again, still longing for a satisfactory relief unlike his last.  

“Your cute little ploy is very amusing but the next time you want me, just say so.” Alhaitham mewled as he nibbled on the blonde’s neck. “Shut up, it wasn’t a—Ah!--ploy.” Kaveh opposed. The scribe chuckled, he brushed against his roommate’s prostate to work him out even more, Kaveh gasped, it was becoming harder and harder to defend himself. 

“You were here last week, weren’t you?” Alhaitham asked. He lifted Kaveh’s hips with a slight angle and pressed down on his groin. The blonde whimpered, the unexpected pressure was making him even more sensitive as more blood rushed to his lower body. 

“I thought a bright man such as yourself would at least think to hide away his shoes.” Alhaitham continued. He was shamelessly badgering Kaveh, enjoying the sight as he squirmed and tried to cover his blushing face with his hands.

“Ah, I see. You’re not embarrassed because you heard it, you’re embarrassed because you liked it.” 

“Please—” Kaveh pleaded.

“You laid here and fucked yourself like a freak, didn’t you?” 

Kaveh was living through an insane thrill, he was desperate against Alhaitham’s claims, they were terribly accurate, as if the scribe could read his mind. Hearing Alhaitham belittle him usually annoyed Kaveh, but in the heat of the moment he felt euphoric, an overload of emotions as his body fluctuated between shame and pleasure. 

Alhaitham’s eyes had darkened, an evil grin was sculpted on his face. He wrapped his fingers around Kaveh’s dick and slid his hand up and down. “Didn’t you?” he repeated the question, not that it needed an answer, but hearing Kaveh admit to his degeneracy would simply be delicious. 

Tears pooled around Kaveh’s eyes as he struggled to talk, “I hate—” but before the blonde could say “you”, he released so intensely that his vision went dark for a second. Ropes of cum shot out in between them as his body spasmed and released. 

Alhaitham hummed, “Ironic.” 

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I keep thinking about Loft and one of my headcanons for SkSw Link in general is that after everything he probably becomes one of those people who kill enemies as quickly and efficiently as possible without giving them time to say anything bc what if it’s someone with power. What if they cast another curse. He can’t afford to let someone attempt to talk their way out of death bc what if he becomes responsible for another long string of disasters as the result of his hesitance in killing someone. Like what is this, a storybook? No, it’s a damn battle. It’s life and death. He doesn’t like taking the role of an executioner, but he can’t give someone time to monologue, enemies need to die fast and that’s just good common sense. (Trauma. It’s trauma and an insane guilt complex.)

Idk. I’ve just. Been thinking abt it. Is Loft like that at all?

that’s a good headcanon! Loft is a lot like that, at least with monsters. That was actually one of my goals with the opening of ch 1— to show that in battle he’s, well, kind of brutal. The idea of killing people still makes him squirm though, which is why that encounter with the Yiga bothers him.

He’s definitely adverse to letting any enemy get the last word considering what happened the Last Time he let that happen, but he also just sees monsters as instruments of Demise, aberrations, blights on the land that need to be removed. As opposed to Slate, who can imagine a world where monsters are just sort of there, minding their own business.

as a sidenote to this conversation, this is a side of Link that I find to be really interesting. We as the players are meant to have fun killing monsters, but what about Link? Does he find it it fun too, or is it just a duty he takes no pleasure in? It’s something I’m hoping to explore a little with each character in the comic, but for Loft, I think he secretly finds it exhilarating at the very least, and isn’t sure how he feels about that.

[kelperings]

kelper i heard you wanted kmhn related headcanons. this is kind of that but also its own thing

looks you dead in the eyes. hajime hinata dog coded. do you hear me. do you he’s. he’s a dog he’s puppy dog he *pointing* please do you hear me that’s dogy that’s a DOG th

he’s a german shepherd to me. he’s fiercely loyal to those he cares about, protective. if you come for his family he will attack without remorse or regret, with a booming bark and and sizable bite force, but when he cares about you he is nothing but kind and gentle, soft fur and worried nuzzling. intimidating and rightfully so but a big sweetheart deep down

there’s a police dog metaphor with izuru somewhere— his own loyalty to a corrupt institution used against him, training the soul and love out of him until he’s nothing but a tool, a weapon that immediately and inevitably falls into the wrong hands

but he recovers and postgame he’s a lot like a rescue, cautious and distrusting of new things but still so so sweet and full of love and loyal underneath it all. he may lash out sometimes or be afraid of seemingly random things but he’s getting better and finding happiness and he’s so so overjoyed to be loved and alive.

his classmates are his pack. they’re his family, and he’d do anything for them. he works to keep them fed and safe and healthy, and if he sees you as a threat to them you best believe he’s getting between you, growling and snarling to stay back, sharp teeth bared and ready to defend them.

he wants to be helpful. he does things for people and brings things to people in an effort to make them happy, works very hard to contribute to his pack responsibilities. he needs to help, he needs to be useful.

he craves praise and recognition from others, and gets giddy when he receives it. he relishes appreciation and nothing makes him happier than knowing he’s good, he’s doing a good job, he’s being good, he’s a good boy. he needs to be told he’s good

whenever he’s sick or injured he gets quiet, reserved. he’ll go off somewhere quiet on his own for a bit to get better, and he’s hesitant to tell anyone. he won’t stop anyone from taking care of him, but he’ll insist they don’t have to, and he won’t ask for help unless it’s an emergency.

when he plays he’s energetic, all excited barks and full-body wiggles. zoomies. sometimes he plays a little too rough and someone gets hurt but he always stops afterwards, checking in on them and apologizing and making sure they’re okay before play resumes

to get some komahiners in here he cuddles like a dog too. he likes to rest his head on nagito’s thighs, or his shoulders. sometimes he’ll just walk up to nagito and press himself into his side (doggy hug), and of COURSE he loves when nagito runs his hands through his hair being petted is a universal dog joy

i’m so insane about this. hajime is a DOG do you understand. he’s. he’s a DOG that’s a fkcuhing DOGGGGG he’s a dog can ANYBODY hear me for the love of god hello

I HEAR YOU!!!! I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!!!

firm believer in german shepherd hajime hinata i believe that german shepherd hajime hinata and fang hajime hinata are one. same person. its all hajime hinata at the end of the day. the world is hajime hinata.

i have a feeling he’s super uptight after noticing how often he does it, in his classic hajime hinata wayHEY GUYS HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY THE NAME HAJIME HINATA IN ONE POST LETS FIND OUT.

but anyways i actually fw this SO INCREDIBLY HARD ILOVE IT. THANK YOU MARZI PLEASE MAKE A MASTERLIST OF YOUR HCS I WILL GLADLY DRAW ANY OF THEM AT WILL. UR HCS GIVE ME LIFE.