#I keep going under for so long
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It's been two weeks, hi guys!
#I keep going under for so long#lately I've been around to accompany kell on sunny walks to work#so I have been conscious and around#briefly anyway#oh wait I forgot I switched in the other day to eat a gummy candy just because it was yellow#but yeah uhhh#my appearances are like weather and baby it's been cloudy this winter haha!#I wonder how many people who follow me dont know I share a body with like four other guys#my art#mrrps
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Part 3
Part 3.5
#mlp#my little pony#twilight sparkle#discord#mlp infection au#mlp infected au#mlp horror#mlp discord#discord mlp#these are a lot of fun to sketch up lmao#this was gonna be twice as long w showing everything being snapped back to normal#but I’m moving that to p4 bc I want to keep it under 10 panels#I’m so mad I don’t want to say where this is going#bc I can’t tell if it’s completely out of left field or going to be super obvious and expected#sweet feather diet
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Mikey Goes To Oz
<Time spent: 49 hours 17 minutes>
When Mikey takes some time away from a loud family squabble he accidentally ends up getting “flushed” down the sewers. This winds up sending him to the colorful land of Oz where he meets a good witch, a wicked witch, a brainless scarecrow, a heartless Tinman, a cowardess lion, and a powerful wizard, all disguised behind very familiar faces.
A canon adjacent spin off set before the season one finale but after they discover Splinter is Lou Jitsu
I wanted to fit each of the boys into their “you’ve had this all along” category. Leo isn’t brainless, in fact he’s pretty clever with a street smart, people reading ability on par with Donnie’s intelligence. Donnie isn’t heartless, he just has a tough time expressing his feelings. They are complex and unalgorithic but he can get just as excited or sad or angry as anyone, as much as he may deny it. Raph isn’t a coward, but being brave sometimes means admitting you’re scared and that you maybe don’t have all the answers. You dont have to be strong all the time and you don’t have to do it by yourself.
In the movie Dorothy’s journey home is also a representation of her running away. The important thing was to remember there were people who cared about her. Mikey is experiencing a similar phenomenon, wanting the escape the bad vibes in the lair. His “you’ve had it all along” is interesting because it is an object, since the Ruby kneepads could’ve taken him home the whole time. And sometimes getting home means going on a journey only to realize you never left.
I put April as Glinda because Glinda appears as a defender of the weak, and I see April in a similar light. Always willing to help and beat someone up if it is so required. Splinter as The Wizard of Oz represents Splinters own willingness to hide behind different personas, his running from the past and the pulling back of the curtain for Mikey in timeline. The Wizard grows through the movie, albeit quickly, and ends up leaving Oz to go home leaving his legacy with the scarecrow, the Tinman, and the lion. In this case the passing of the baton to his sons.
Meanwhile Draxum as the wicked witch felt much more how Mikey sees Draxum at this time in the show, mostly just an antagonistic force who wants something from them. Fun fact: I imagine throughout this dream, Draxum is uninterested in being the wicked witch but is pressed into it via plot. Hence his disinterest in being “melted.”
Additional characters not pictured: Big Mama as the Wicked Witch of the East (those were her Ruby kneepads!!) and Todd as the Mayor of Munchkin Land. If you can think of more, feel free to leave them in the comments or tags.
#rottmnt#wabbystuffpost#Mikey goes to Oz#I’ve had this in my WIP file for far too long#I got a little lazy with the rendering#especially for the first piece#I may update it later but for now it’s going out like this#let’s just say it’s rise style#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#leonardo#donatello#raphael#michelangelo#april oneil#baron draxum#Hugnin and Munnin#splinter#Lou Jitsu#wizard of Oz#my art#wabbyart#questions are always welcome#close ups of specific things are under the Mikey goes to Oz tag#tmnt#please don’t flop#additionally Leo doesn’t have as many bones so he’s tripping or supported on almost every page#Dorothy tells off the Lion in the movie as the Scarecrow and Tinman cower and I imagine that’s a very funny scene in this AU#I also think Mikey keeps mixing everybody up with their irl people#if you haven’t seen the movie in a while I recommend watching it again cause some scenes may be funnier with this context
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i think carpenter and hayward should have some kind of ghost hunting youtube channel but for unlicensed gods. they go around snarking at each other and arguing over what kind of god this is and how best to deal with it. hayward ALWAYS thinks its an old harvest god and they have NEVER once made a situation better
#I JUST THINK THIS WOULD FIT THEIR DYNAMIC REALLY WELL#the silt verses#tsv#paige is their long suffering manager#what about faulkner? you may ask#well if this is an au thats easy#he’s a former intern who left under sketchy circumstances and started his own much more succesful show#If it’s in universe then i think every sunday or whatever the traweler man equivalent is#He gets up there and gives his little sermon and makes some kinda bitchy comment about have you SEEN what#anathema carpenter was doing this week. (she’s so cool and i miss her)#and when someone asks him why he’s watching anathema carpenter’s youtube channel he’s like. um well.#is the trawelerman not also the god of streams. ALSO i have to keep tabs on this ENEMY of the FAITH and also um I GOTTA GO#thoughts
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Then and Now
July 2021 -> December 2024
][ Tagged by: ][ @lilbittymonster and @elliewiltarwyn thank you!!] ][ Tagging: ][ You (: ][
I made Odette in 2020 but sadly I don't have access to my very first attempts at gposing! I really wish I had them, early vanilla Odette is an extreme cutie. I had played FFXIV a few times before but the game had never stuck until her. Odette has changed a fair amount since I've had her! Thanks to crimes but also because of lore! I've only fanta'd her once and it was to make her chest smaller and change her eye color.
When I decided to lean into the ghost stuff I changed one of her eyes to purple. As a way to signify her coming into her abilities, so it is also the eye she sees spirits out of.
Her hair has always been white, in canon it has an iridescent sheen to it which is one of the reasons the convent thought her blessed. Early in 2024 Odette had a mini arc of realizing she had strayed from her vows. As part of her renewal of them she cut her very long hair.
She's had scaling from the moment I knew about it. Use to have to apply it in ana with each gpose. I'm certain the first screen has one of my first attempts at scaling her applied. When I finally got C+ I was so excited to see her scaling all the time, plus it makes it so easy to adjust it on the fly. It's the thing I miss most when its gone!
Rue body... body hair... belly piercing...
Her piercings (belly and nose) were small acts of rebellion! And my friend Esh ported a nose chain over for me I think just this year, too!
Her gap teeth !! Precious to me. Thank you Onei ! If I could figure out dimples she'd be even more perfect.
Dawntrail's graphics update left me incredibly happy. I loved Odette before but she feels so much more Right to me, now! She has new makeup, new face scaling, i just like her so much...
I've rewritten her entire backstory, made her undead and a powerful psychopomp, gave her a long-lost twin sister and then turned the twin into a possibly evil ancient and undead great-aunt (whew), made her a paladin, started to think of her as an actual WoL... She's always been a love nun, though.
#Pigeon Screens#Then and Now#it's long and i think rambly under the read more#making myself stop now so I don't just keep talking about her forever and ever and ever#anyway!!!#I am really bummed about not having my very first gposes still !! fully cried about it a lil bit but soo la voo#i loved my gposes before the graphics update but idk !!!! DT Odette really hits well !!!#I think in the new year I might do a newgame+ with her in canon outfits..... take screens as we go...#anyway thank YOU GUYS FOR THE TAGS MWAH#if you haven't done this and see this please do it and tag me ty this is a very fun thing i like to see everyone's school pictures
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LAKE MISSOULA x JONAS VINGEGAARD
credits under cut!
lake missoula - richy mitch and the coal miners // jonas vingegaard - team presentation, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard, tadej pogacar, and remco evenepoel - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // wayward son - rainbow rowell // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // it's down to legs - caley fretz // jonas vingegaard - stage 20, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // a poem on hope - wendell berry // jonas vingegaard and remco evenepoel - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // quora user shulamit widawsky // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 (getty images) // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // 'now the fight is over': jonas vingegaard concedes tour de france battle for yellow, but still aims for second - adam becket // jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // video: jonas vingegaard and matteo jorgenson consoled after heart-breaking end to stage 19 of 2024 tour de france for team visma | lease a bike - kieran wood // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // 'probably the hardest moment of my career'-- jonas vingegaard on his crash and fight to be ready for the tour de france - stephen farrand // jonas vingegaard's tour de france was a venn diagram - iain treloar // rise up and salute the sun: the writings of suzy kassem - suzy kassem // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2023 // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // vingegaard exhausted after tour de france: may cut season short - sjoerd valkering // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 20, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // the thing is - ellen bass // "if you had told me four months ago that i would be second, i wouldn't have believed you" - jonas vingegaard disappointed but proud of his tour de france - ondrej zhasil // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (nbc sports) // alfred lord tennyson // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // remco evenepoel and jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and wout van aert - tour de france 2024 (team visma | lease a bike)
#obligatory jonasposting#i don’t know if i got the vibe i wanted to capture?? i feel like watching jonas race this year has ultimately been about hope#like the entire thing at its core feels like a leap of faith- of course visma was obsessively running numbers behind the scenes and#trying to prepare him as well as possible#but in the end he still hadn’t raced since april. he still had less than half the preparation and a massive question mark was following#them to the startline#but he still came. and he still believed. and everyone around him believed beyond everything else-#staff. commentators. fans. everyone was holding their breath because they don’t know where to place their bets#so it all comes down to crossing your fingers every time he gets a mechanical. saying a prayer under your breath when he loses 30 seconds.#and then stage 11 comes along! the tension is suddenly resolved and it’s like seeing the sun again!#but then things start to go downhill- but everyone still keeps hoping. the commentators i was watching were still saying “if” instead of#“when” about his podium in stage 21 because despite everything people still had hope! they don’t want to lay down the hammer#and even when he still finished second#the grief still mingled with the wonderful and beautiful fact that he still did it!#you take a step back and against all odds jonas vingegaard came back from the brink of death and podiumed the fucking tour de france!#and that heartbreak and wonder can coexist. you didn’t hope for nothing. the sky is still blue. the sun still shines. he made it.#sorry long tag rant i’m a yapper at heart y’all#me reading or listening to anything ever rn: omg this is so jonas coded!!!#jonas vingegaard#jv#tadej pogacar#remco evenepoel#wout van aert#wva#matteo jorgenson#tdf#tdf 2024#tour de france 2024#tour de france#cycling
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violet baudelaire was actually sooo right about the tying your hair with a ribbon thing. why do i only get it now
#my mom was marking her luggages with this purple and white checkered ribbon and i wanted to try something with it because i suddenlyremember#how violet baudelaire used to always do this to keep her hair out of her eyes so she can focus#and so i did and oh my god???#i actually like this better than using a hair tie#i mean not for going out because it’s not as secure and some of them will come out and it’s just not convenient to wear under a hijab#but it looks so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also is this my first asoue post#kinda a crime that it took me this long actually#violet baudelaire#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#nadirants
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i am losing to the demon trying to possess me (devilman. the 52 y/o media franchise)







>:]

EDIT I FORGOT THIS ONE

#IT KEEPS SCRAMBLING THE IMAGE ORDER FML SORRY GUYS#ok i got it but uh no more hiding the full page under a readmore 💀 sorry it's just gonna be tall#i havent drawn outside of of lectures since literally september but they fucking got me#the less i draw the more slowly i draw (obv) so this took So Long and involved a lot of me just staring at the page blankly#anyway i love them sorry i didn't quite capture ryo's glassy eyed mania (mecore) in this one 😔#devilman#devilman ova#devilman manga#ryokira#fudo akira#asuka ryo#devilman fanart#skrunkart#etc etc. you get the idea#anyway. i had fun now i have to go do like. the stuff for finals week i pretended didnt exist so i could draw devil guys#o7 see ya#devilman satan#HAIRY AKIRA HAIRY AKIRA. YIPPEEEE#genuinely some of the best body hair ive drawn look at that shit. scrumptious isnt the right word but it's so good to my brain#ft a cameo of myself killing ryo with my love for him#pls excuse some of the lineart flubs my tablet has been fucked for months rip
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Apparently I've lost all ability to watch movies/TV where I don't already know the plot. I watch very little TV and movies to start with, and the little that I do watch tends to be things I've seen before, or very low-stakes genres like sitcoms. With books, you can rush through tense sections, and you aren't at the mercy of the pacing and sound design and all the other emotionally manipulative techniques that a show can use.
So now when I'm watching things with any kind of tension whatsoever, my nerves are stretched to the breaking point, and I don't know if I can take this.
#random thought of the day#decided to start watching skeleton crew#because star wars meets the goonies is such a perfect concept that it should have been done in the actual '80s#and so far it's proving me right#however!#things keep happening!#and even though this show is made for actual children!#and it's in a predictable genre!#the fact that i don't know what's going to happen beat-by-beat has me under so much stress!#this is why i like spoilers apparently!#i'm used to reading *about* things long before i start actually watching them#so knowing comparatively little is a new concept#also! i tried elsbeth!#the quirky procedural that's so formulaic i'm already sick of the formula!#but that first ep was shockingly stressful!#i know she's going to catch him! that's how detective shows work!#but i can't see beat-for-beat how she's going to pull it off!#and i can't handle any plot uncertainty apparently!#it's so stupid why is my brain like this?
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the ii neg tumblr blog is like my actual personal #1 enemy i cant BELIEVE they followed me over a joke ask i responded to over a year ago (i blocked them and have blocked every account they've remade lmao) just such hateful bullshit looking for ANY excuse to attack this random youtube webseries and the ppl who work on it including MANY STATEMENTS that are just straight up not true. someone could send them an ask like "hey justin is actually homophobic and called me slurs irl i hope they all die in a car crash <3" and they will post it without any questions. no further research cuz it isnt about what's true or actually offering constructive criticism on the writing of the show it's about being hateful and cruel and spreading lies & death threats. some actual famous people dont have accounts as dedicated to attacking them and every aspect of their identity and career as these random ass guys who make a YOUTUBE WEBSERIES do like why are you actively wishing death upon them?? are you insane?
IF YOU DONT LIKE THE SHOW THEN STOP WATCHING IT. DONT ENGAGE? like do you seriously have fucking nothing better to do than spread lies online about literal nobodies with the smallest amount of online influence. for reasons i cannot even fathom. be so fucking serious
#it's like the worst parts of the su crit side of tumblr circa 2018 except about people who are LITERALLY not famous#like even if ur gonna have bullshit “criticism” about ii at least keep it about the actual show#harassing the cast & crew and spreading malicious lies is sooo fucking sick#like tumblr BANNED your blog for ABUSE AND PHYSICAL THREATS OF VIOLENCE#why would you REMAKE IT?????#like just leave. move on with your life. what could you be getting out of this can you please find some joy and positivity#that you are so clearly lacking#blah blah disclaimer there are actual legitimate things to criticize about ii and some of the writing decisions#although i still think holding them to the standard of a professional tv show with a writing room is unfair and kinda ridiculous#but even if they actually cared about that it's like 5% of their content. if ur gonna critique ii be normal and polite about it#which you should do with ANYONE especially when talking about their decade-long passion project regardless of how “famous” they are#but for fucks sake leave the crew alone. wouldnt blame them if they decided to go entirely offline#they've definitely Stepped Away for the time being which is for the best even if i miss some of their thoughts + insight#sorry i accidentally was reminded that blog existed and read some of the shit they've been saying and was overcome with rage#WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN. social justice (which they are not doing under any circumstances) is not an excuse to be so cruel and hateful#anyway if the osc gets even like 10% more negative on god im leaving again#which im sure most people would be happy about#but either way im still tormenting the timeline#txt#/ ii neg#<- just in casee
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Augh no one cares because we're chatting about Dreamnap on Shadoune's gay French event, but I'm thinking about the god of the wild au
The vulnerability of all the rituals that the humans in the dsmp make for Dream. He's am animal born God, he doesn't naturally have rituals or offerings, or even clothes! But they make them for him
Tommy and Wilbur spend months studying all sorts of Gods, tearing their practices apart and making them Dream's. Everyone finds their own way to honor Dream and feed him devotion in a way that they didn't need to. None of this is natural to him, none of this is needed. But they still do it. They still write prayers and make up dances and make hand made plates to hold fruit and milk and honey.
When Dream shows up dressed in embroidery and gold that's Tommy pulling him aside to dress him in the clothes he made. It's all handmade, it's all trust, it's all domestication and care and so much love. It's all human instinct.
#the dog barks#god of the wild#for all that Dream makes them animals they make Dream human#or well. idk. they dont make Dream human but they love him like humans#and he loves them back by bowing his head and letting them dress him letting them feed him#if anyone is wondering why Wilbur and Tommy are so... uh... religious I guess? why they study it so much#you know when you're spiraling really hard and you grab into anything to keep your attention off it?#yeah#no time for depression when you can figure out how to convert this summoning ritual for an animal god#or make an entire new robe set#plus they could feel Dream in limbo#wherever they were was not the traditional place where humans or animals go when they die#it was so warm. hot. like fresh blood#it pulsed under their hands like a beating heart#Wilbur had just that for company for so long. when he comes back the world seems to cold and quiet in comparison#being in a rabbit burrow could fix Revivebur#(also. uh. Phil was a little pushy about Kristen's worship when they lived with him)#(its at least a little spite and rebellion)#...what do I tag this#dsmp au#dreblr#the footnotes
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!






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BONUS:
#first fullpage comic in my new sketchbook woooo 🎉#poor rune. accidentally hibernated for 20 years and he didn't even do it on purpose.#you can tell by the fact that he went to nap in his freakin pajamas#as you do when you go to sleep#but then this time he just. didn't wake up. and his family assumed it was on purpose. so they just let him???#oops?????#yes munch is a surname that's been used in norway - especially in towns that had historically had contact with german merchants. fun fact#so while his dad was originally literally a windenburg townie from the sims 4... it still works#oh yeah the way i am handling language in this comic. do keep in mind it is set in norway and the canon language is actually norwegian#so while any dialog usually gets masked with english so you may actually understand wtf people are saying#text on objects do not get translated. because they're a part of the world and stuff. it's the way people see them. that makes sense right#(don't even get me started on my complex relationship with written norwegian. long story short: it is a pain)#EDIT: now with the full comic under the readmore
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So I've wanted to start the process of conversion for the longest time now, but what stops me is just being afraid of not having the right answers if that makes sense, when meeting with a rabbi to discuss conversion for example. How did you prepare for meeting your rabbi and what kind of things did they ask you? I have really bad social anxiety and I struggle with public speaking so thinking about this scares me so much. I love everything I've learned about Judaism and I'm positive I want to convert but this is the one thing holding me back :( and additionally how was your experience when first going to services at your synagogue and is there anything you needed to do to prepare for it? I struggle with new environments even though I'd love to start going so any advice helps, thank you so much if you do decide to answer <3
First of all, good shabbos!
On Questions:
Most of the questions I have found rabbis to ask on a first meeting are generally categorized under, "what are your goals?," "what is your background?," and "what are you currently doing in your everyday life?"
I have talked to a few rabbis now, and upon the first few meetings, they truly just want to understand where you're coming from, what's brought you to this point, and how your relationship with Judaism may work out.
I would encourage you to potentially write your story out - where did you grow up? Were there any influential Jewish figures or moments where you thought, "man, I want that!" or perhaps any awakenings in your previous religion which troubled you if that's applicable? I like to think of this period as though you're meeting a match-maker - they want to figure out who you are before matching you with something they know you'll fall in love with. In the beginning stages, they really won't ask the hard-hitting questions, especially because you are also supposed to see if you think that rabbi would fit in with your Judaism goals. The rabbis I met before settling on the one I am sponsored by currently were all incredibly kind, even if they had to reject me outright (because they were busy with other students they are working with, not because they were trying to be mean!). All of them, essentially, were ecstatic alongside me about Judaism, and they gave the impression like they want people to join am yisrael.
On First-Time Services:
My shul requires that people email first if they have never gone to services, and I have noticed this is a semi-common practice. Frankly, though, that was all I needed to do in order to start attending. I think all you would need to do is to show up in your best clothing, and depending on the movement you go to, you may need to be mindful of different practices. I already have a kippah, and my shul has a big box full of kippot you can borrow (which is common). If kippah-wearing is a goal you want to achieve in your Judaism, certainly feel free to wear one, but it may not be something you need to bring with you. Additionally, be mindful of where people sit - in my shul, we do mixed, informal seating (though we naturally have men and women sitting on "their" sides, which I didn't even notice at first), but some shuls may have more explicit expectations of men's and women's seating - it truly depends.
I also made it clear with everyone that I will not be going up to read from the Torah, since they call upon people semi-randomly (actually, we rely on a particular family in which all of the children make up all the shul's child demographic). I have read haftarah portions upon their request, and have read from portions of the Torah if we don't have a minyan (semi often occurrence), but they have never called upon me to go up officially.
Most of my experiences being a newcomer were of people asking a lot of questions. Many shuls don't have newcomers, especially in small towns or places with a limited number of Jewish presence. They've been very nice, inclusive, and genuine - in fact, I feel I am treated as a fellow Jew by them (in the sense that they hold me to the same expectations, want me to learn, and have always let me participate to the fullest extent that I am able to). I find that if they see how genuine you are, they are incredibly willing to help you, to support you, or to even turn potential mistakes into learning opportunities. This is the norm for everyone - we made the mistake once of saying the Shema at the wrong time, and we just turned it into an opportunity to do better. Judaism is a collaborative effort, and that's a hard lesson to learn sometimes, but I have found that once you're used to it, you truly start to get comfortable. This shul is my home, and so I want to put that effort in to making it beautiful. I enjoy cleaning up after our communal lunch because it's the most I can do without a kosher kitchen and being a student, and I love to learn from everyone, so I attend the classes they've created. You don't have to do anything big! Just do it with all your heart and might, and people will see the effort you make, and you'll go a long way
#ask#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#convert FAQs#personal thoughts tag#i'm going to compile these asks under one tag#the tag (convert FAQs) will be this tag by the way#because y'all have so many questions it seems (i'm grateful you guys come to /me/ of all people) and i want to make it easy on us all#i'll retroactively add this tag to other asks as well <3#y'all keep forcing me to log onto my laptop so i can spend upwards of half an hour typing all my thoughts out#this is a good thing by the way (genuine)#long post
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Trembles like a small dog. Places down my loopified euphrasie design before skittering away
#keese draws#isat#isat euphrasie#this is technically an au that I’ve had for a while but I’ve been reworking it#also for all of these doodles I was just shaking and crying so hard because I couldn’t keep her eyebrows her big raindrop eyebrows are like#her most iconic feature to me taking them feels like taking an angels wings 😔#but yeah I’m thinking of calling her orbit or smth like that#long story short for this au euphrasie is the one looping and is doomed by the narrative and all that for a long ass time until she does#some wishcraft shenanigans as a last resort#she was honestly kind of expecting it to literally break the universe so when she got her body snatched and seemingly sent back in time to#back when mirrabelle first started her journey she was left fumbling and without much room to internalize the situation too hard#I’m considering maybe having her not start off with mira tho? idk I think it’d be fun if she got to hang out with siffrin for a bit first#just her unconsciously bracing herself for a loop every time siffrin talks to her#imagine a long pause here where I stopped typing and started writing dialogue for them in my head#but yeah lots of orbit going yay yay yippee yay ^_^ (she is under immense stress and is mistakening new stress for better stress)
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:)
#just going to be sappy about my boyfriend for a second#the level of comfort and joy I derive from that man is unreal#had a long day of theater photoshoot stuff today which under ordinary circumstances would’ve been mostly fun but also super tiring and#fairly stressful and would leave me wanting to curl in a ball in my bed by the end#instead (though I am very tired) I had a great time the whole day#even though I’m not very physically comfortable rn due to exertions and skin condition things#I still have energy left and I’m really happy#just checking in with each other and mutually enjoying things was so nice#(also I just keep thanking God that I have been gifted someone who likes and dispenses physical affection as much as I do#[within appropriate bounds of course etc etc]#because it’s amazing how much that specifically steadies and rejuvenates me and makes me feel loved)#things about him
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