#I just wish I could reconnect with the system the same way I did with him.

[healerelowen]

Vent thing

[sexydoffyman]

Weird request but how would TF141+König and Alejandro react to meeting an orphan around 15 years of age who's like extremely talented in engineering, mathematics and physics, like they could build a rocket if they had the materials ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It can be HC, whatever you want! I was thinking maybe said orphan got in trouble with the government for unknowingly building some sort of weapon, maybe it was stolen? Twist that however you wish.

Just ignore this ask if you wanna <3

A KID?

genre: action

characters: König, Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Alejandro Vargas, Kyle Garrick

A/n: expect a lot more mistakes. Also thinking this needs a second part.

It’s been 6 years now since the war began. You were left stranded. All by yourself. Left on your own by everyone. Living was hard, but you pulled through. You learned how to do a lot of shit since you were there only with yourself for some time. Building stuff. That was your biggest interest.

You were constantly making things. New weapons mostly. You were always moving, never staying in one place for too long. You got brutal throughout the years you were alone. You took the uniform of a dead soldier. To blend in. You were mistaken for a recruit and pulled inside a helicopter by a military dude.

The military was a great provider of food and healthcare. So you just went along with everything they threw at you. Your knowledge of building shit helped out a lot. And even when some dude figured out you were a kid he let you stay.

The same dude put you in a task force with a man he trusted. You were cautious of everyone in there, but at least you had some people who you could trust a bit.

You picked up how things work from the years of pretending to be a soldier. Pretending to be an adult was getting easier and the task force you were assigned to found a place in your heart.

“There’s gotta be a way.” You finally snapped out of thinking about life before the war. You thought that the military would be a great cover. But now all your hope of making it out alive hit zero. You were stuck and with gas slowly filling the room that you and the others were in you knew your chances of survival were low.

You sat in the corner of the room. You had given up a few minutes ago already. The others were still trying to figure something out.

Suddently you felt something inside of you snap. You were not gonna die today. It must’ve been the panicking of the rough men infront of you that made you have that feeling. You started to search for a solution.

You found a small vent. It was too small to fit a grown man in, but you were not a grown man. You took off your gear and crawled into the vent unnoticed by your team.

You finally got to use the skills you gained. You crawled through the vent and dropped down from the ceiling right on the other side of a door that the rest of your team was trying to open. You managed to get inside some kind of an electrical system. You cut some wires and reconnected some other ones. The door opened with a space in between the doors just a centimeter big.

Grabbing a metal piece from the electrical you prayed the door open. You were met with the looks of your crew. You looked down and put your hand above your forehead to block your face. By now all of them realized that you weren't of age.

You ran into the room to grab your gear while your team gave each other a disgusted glance. “We need to get out of here ASAP,” you said as you walked away from the room. Price grabbed you by the shoulder to stop you. You turned to him with your mask on now.

“How old are you?” he was looking at you worriedly while he said that. You didn’t know what to answer and so after a few stutters you answered “Classified” This only made them feel more curious.

It has been days since that mission and nobody brought up the fact that you were a kid. You did notice that Price stopped shouting orders at you and started just saying them in a normal calm tone. Soap was making more small talk with you than usual. Ghost was staying closer to you, knowing you might not be able to fend off an enemy. Gaz was making sure to double-check your gear.

When you teamed up with Mexican special forces and met Alejandro you were given tasks that you’d be on with multiple people.

When you were stranded from the team, finding your way to a spot they could locate you at, you met another dude. Austrian and huge. Big dude. He was your enemy, but it didn’t take him long to find out that an adult dude would have a little more strength than you did. He forced your mask off and found out that you were in fact a kid.

Instead of killing you, he spared you. Helping you locate your tram instead of them having to look for you.

Would you survive the next missions? That you don’t know. But you do know that you don’t have to worry about pretending to be an adult.

[stayinlimbo]

Returned Call

wc: 765, genre: exes to lovers(?), warnings: cursing in beginning, slightly unedited

note: although i feel this could be read as a stand-alone, here is the sequel to Missed Call you guys were asking for. i hope you enjoy ♡

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system: You know. Lee Minho. Not available. Voicemail. Speak. 

Fuck you, Lee Minho. No, seriously, fuck you. 

Tell me why I was contacted by not one but three of your dancing buddies within the past twenty-four hours about how you’ve been moping around and trudging through your routines for the past week. 

They were all essentially the same. You haven’t been the same since we broke up, is there any way we could reconnect, give you one more chance, blah blah blah. 

You must be doing really bad if one of them was Hyunjin, of all people. 

Two months too late, don’t you think?

As if any of this was my fault.

…

I was getting better before you called, you know?

I finally fixed my sleep schedule. I won’t lie, it took longer than I’d like to admit to break the habit of staying up late for you. At least I was already used to sleeping alone. 

I reconnected with some old friends since I couldn’t talk to Jisung as much without being reminded of you. They can still read me like a book, even after all these years.

I even went on a date. 

Granted, it was with myself, but I like to think it still counts.  

…

You know what I realized on my “date?” And while out with my friends? And on the sleepless nights I spent staring up at my childhood bedroom’s ceiling?

I had forgotten what it felt like to be seen. To be appreciated. To be loved. 

It seems like you’ve come to that conclusion as well, because you’re right. I deserved better. I deserve better. I may have ended our relationship, but I wasn’t the one who left first.

I remember our last kiss, paired with another one of your lies I foolishly kept believing in until I finished the movie night you promised you’d be home in time for. And I remember waking up on the couch with a sore neck to see your fatigued silhouette entering the front door, barely sparing me a glance as you dragged yourself towards the bedroom. 

You didn’t even look sorry. 

How could you, I guess, if you left everything back at the studio?

…

I used to admire your passion, Minho. I hate that I still do. You pour everything you have, everything you can possibly give, into what you love. So why couldn’t you do the same for us? For me?

You say you love me, but why does it feel like I lost something I'm not sure I ever had? 

…

Where did we go wrong? What did I do wrong? I gave everything to you. I gave you my heart, my body, my entire being. I gave you everything until there was nothing left to give.

I never asked for anything outlandish. I think it’s reasonable to want to talk with your partner, to share your lives with one another. I think it’s reasonable to ask about when you’ll be home for our anniversary without being yelled at in front of your friends. 

You want me to be proud of you? You want me to be happy about one of the very things that ripped us apart?

Yes, you’re selfish, but I’m no better. 

…

Maybe this is my fault. After all, no one should feel obligated to love someone. I just never thought it’d apply to us. 

…I wish I could hate you. I really do. 

But all I see is your stupid face smiling at me when I close my eyes. I hear your laugh ringing in my ears when I remember the ways you said or did something ridiculous to make me feel better after a stressful day. I still feel the warmth of your body wrapped around mine when we did wake up next to each other, our legs entwined together to where it was impossible to escape. Not that I ever wanted to. 

I want you to keep smiling at me. I want you to hold me. I want you to miss me. I want you to want me. 

Because I still want you. 

…

I want to give you a second chance, Minho. If things could be different this time, if we could be different. If we could share ourselves, wholeheartedly, as lovers, and not strangers.

I want to fall in love with you again, Lee Minho. 

…

Call me back, when you get the chance. You can keep the shirts for now.

Just please, don’t make me regret this.

liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡

taglist: @linospuddin @linocz @spicyhyunn

ending note: I hope this didn't disappoint. I really tried my best to make it work with all the angst in here :D. I also tried incorporating parallels from Missed Call so hopefully that wasn't too annoying or anything <3

[lovesickst0ner]

I’ve realized something over the years regarding ATLA and LOK; now it may just be because I had to change the way I thought about lok before I could even start watching it but like do people realize that lok IS NOT supposed to be atla.

Aang and korra are two COMPLETELY different people. They lived in two very different times, aang literally had to fight a war and he was the only air bender still alive. The entirety of atla is aang learning and mastering the other three elements so he can fight against ozai. And let’s not forget the fact that he was frozen in time for 100 years, so by the time Sokka and Katara found him, the Fire Nation was nearly complete with seizing the other nations. Little homie was absolutely baffled at the time he lost and how bad things had gotten. He believed, for a very long time that it was his fault. And to really put the icing on the cake, he was legitimately the LAST airbender. He froze himself at the age of 12 when he found out that he was the avatar, meaning the only people he knew, his family, was completely wiped out.

Now korra, she could bend all the elements, excluding air since she was 4 so her parents knew she was the avatar from an incredibly early age, so by the time she leaves the southern water tribe for Republic city, she’s already mastered 3/4 elements. She has a wonderful support system of friends and family (though she is hardheaded to accepting the help). Oh and the spirits come back after reconnecting the spirit portals, like that alone is both a triumph but also kind of a catastrophe to solve, which she did. She helped bring back the air benders, something that aang would’ve wished to be there to see. Though she can be stubborn and fiery and a little impulsive in the beginning, she learns how to be confident, in her skills, and through her pain she learns and finally understands that though she is the avatar, she is still human.

Aang and Korra are similar in a lot of ways, but in understanding that the shows and the stories and ESPECIALLY the characters are different and are SUPPOSED to be different really helped push me into the watching lok. I know people bash it bc of hot headed she is, but she’s not supposed to be aang. She had different experiences and had to resolve different conflicts. It’s okay that they aren’t the same person, there’s beauty in their differences.

[system-of-a-feather]

(more programming / TBMC / RAMCOA talk; nothing too heavy, same as last post, we just put it under the cut for ourselves cause these topics don't benefit most parts to engage with and thus we kept it off our own notifications)

But honestly, lately with how far into recovery we are and how much on and off fusing with XIV has stabilized me a lot more and made me a lot more clear with who I am and all that shit, I've largely been thinking a lot on the shit I've been through and all the parts I've been, cause at this point, I'm really trying to reconnect with my scattered subsystem parts.

Less so "scattered" and more so long lost because - for those that don't know / havent followed - like nine months or so ago an old version of myself that went by Data just kind of imploded under a lot of stress, pressure, trauma, and self destructive loops that were set off by the way we were healing and what not.

It was honestly really fucked up and a really unfair cause we were genuinely trying really hard to be "a good part" but programming and shit kept had us between "literally dying and at complete overload" or "doing shit that hurts ourselves and the system" and so we'd always just end up doing shit that caused problem and honestly, we had done everything we could to remove ourselves in that form from the picture in a healthy and failed multiple times - and so it was honestly kinda super fucked that when trying to stop existing, we instead shattered into like 4 or 5 parts

But in the end of it, I was a part that existed as a complete - for lack of better words - "burn out" and very extreme "turned off" response to the programs that were being regularly triggered prior to self implosion and it was a huge mess at first, but it ended up with me becoming the host of that subsystem and really? As much hell as it was, the implosion and generation of another subsystem really I think disconnected a lot of the experiences we had as Data and managed to shut down a number of parts to actually let me develop beyond just a "burnt out" state.

And in hindsight? It really worked because while I'm still Data, still part of that heavily and completely fucked programmed original part, I was "generated" in a state of literally being unable to deal with anything and as a part to cope with that and with space, really became a more developed part who is centered around the ability to cope and deal with what we were programmed to do and to.... NOT do that.

And now that I'm a lot more stable and full of a part, I honestly can go back and collect and look back at our experiences of how things have happened and how each part felt and worked and put things back together. At this point I hold almost everything Data originally did. I can look back and replay things and understand things and understand where everything came from, but I'm *not* Data - I'm Chunn (everyone in the brain says I should start spelling it Cheng or at least claim that as my secret Chinese name because its pronounced the same but I like the Chunn spelling so they can fuck off /hj)

And in that sense, the thing Data wanted so bad - to not be here and to not be in the way and to have anything but chronic stress and trauma responses and to just not cause problems for everyone in a desperate attempt to feel safe again - while it's not at all in the way he wanted or imagined it to be, he - we - got it. I don't resemble him much at all anymore, and that's sad in it's own way, but at the same time, is that not the very wish itself? To be ourselves but in a form we created and not in the form someone else created us for?

Anyways, these days it's kind of funny cause I basically serve a roll for the system that is the OPPOSITE of what we were programmed to do and while other parts are not as "impacted" as I was, I do end up sitting here and looking at the "less impacted" parts and go "Okay well that came from this shit I did and you don't notice it but that behavior of yours is intended to synergize (negatively) with what I was programmed to do so I'm going to tell you that I don't want to participate in that"

Cause as much as we were the overtly programmed part, I'm really realizing that it neither started nor ended with me and it really is oddly nice to be able to look at that and help in detangling this garbage.

And not to go into the details for safety reasons, but recently our therapist asked a question to Riku / Fei as to why we were doing XYZ and not another thing that would be more in character for them - and at the time they came up with some round about reason and explanation to which I had to ask, when they were thinking about it the next day, ".... is it not just because [feeling and condition that I know was an active major trigger]? Because you know you can state that and that is a perfectly valid and healthy thing to say. You are allowed to think that." and the genuine level of which they seemed to very hesitantly state it to themselves as if they were afraid to Set Something Off - it just really clicked something with me.

Cause that would have been me. That would have been me that would have been set off. That would have been me that would have changed that thought into a borderline / active crisis and/or mess that would be far more stress than just compliance to the programming. And in this moment, not only was I NOT being Set Off by it, but I was encouraging them to try it again despite many many many years of reinforced "if you do that you will regret it"

And it's really kind of nice to see. I can't think as original Data would, I barely can comprehend just how stuck that version of me was - they were so deeply intertwined in the programming its unfathomable even though it was me and I have the memories of it. Thus, I can't say "Data would be happy and proud to see where we've come", but I would like to think - even in the hell they were in - that theyd be comforted to know where we ended up.

But I digress. I felt like sharing this most of today cause man have we come far.

[valcksys]

source separation

(And my journey with it, all under the cut!)

I thought I’d write a long ranty post about source separation, since I’m an alter who’s gone through it (mostly). I just want to get my experiences out there and possibly help some other alters who might be struggling with this topic understand it more or, whatever.

So let’s start with Introductions! I’m Samantha, but I usually go with just Sam. I’m a factional introject of an ow esports player named S9mm. I use she/her pronouns and identify as a trans woman. (This will be important later.)

I first formed around June last year, so I’ve been around for a bit. When I first started getting my bearings, I was terrified! I mean, I’d been ripped away from my life (which was quite good most of the time!) and now I was stuck here, in a new body, alone. In a pretty abusive environment. Not fun at all!

My first reaction to all of this was escape. Which is to say I was so deep in wanting to be back in my source, and wanting to have my body and face and life back that I couldn’t focus on living the one I’m in right now. Whenever I fronted I was fucking miserable. All I could think about was my “past”. To me, this is an example of being unhealthily attached to your source. If it’s getting in the way of enjoying your current life or focusing on it then that’s not good!

I had a long chat with another alter, who’d been in the system for a while and went through that same deal. And the first thing they told me was to stop interacting with anything related to my source. Just find out who you are. Minus the source. Minus the premade personality and form you came with. Once you’ve found it, you can start to merge the two together. Finding you while still identifying with your source is possible. There’s just a delicate balance that I was definitely not balancing well.

And this is what I did for a while, I stopped watching OWL games, I stopped playing Overwatch, and I focused more on the things going on around me. I started trying new things. I learned stuff about myself! And it was nice. I’ve picked up art as a hobby, I love drawing. I also enjoy other video games, particularly roguelikes and rpgs which I never thought I would’ve liked. If I hadn’t ever let go partly of my source and who I’m “supposed” to be, I wouldn’t’ve ever discovered those things. During this period I also began realizing I might be a trans woman. (Source is a Cis male.) For a while I rejected it, still having that feeling in the back of my mind that it’s wrong because my source is a cis man. As well as all of the more typical woes that come with transness. (Which I’m going to assume nearly everyone reading this understands.)

Once I took that break, and found myself, I realized that life didn’t feel as. Well frankly, ASS, anymore. I wasn’t constantly dissociating, wishing I was “home” or the like. Home was here now, and I began to accept it. I participated more in our daily life.

After I did accept that I’m a trans woman, and that I’m Samantha, not S9mm, I was able to then reconnect with my source in a healthy way. I could watch content from my source and enjoy it without feeling like shit, I could play Overwatch and enjoy that without feeling like shit.

The point of me typing all this out really, is that there’s always a DEGREE of source separation that is healthy, and should be encouraged. But you don’t have to completely detach from your source.

I mean, my name is still Sam. I still look like my source in the headspace. (Kinda, I’m just more girly now lol.) I still refer to my pseudomemories and make jokes about my source and enjoy my source.

You can definitely have both!

Anyway rant’s over I hope this helps someone or something idk.

[iguana-braces]

Honeybee (Bob x Reader)

From this request from this prompt list: “My lipgloss is all over your lips.” -- Masterlist

Description: High school reunions suck if you hated high school. But sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with old friends. Cynicism defeated by the power of fluff!

Warnings: mentions of slut shaming, brief swearing, kissing (how scandalous), the vaguest mentions of sex, judgmental small town vibes

Word Count: 2k

Note: This got way deeper than I expected and I might’ve cried writing it, I just think Bob would be such a great person to get deep with >.< Also, the title is taken from “Honeybee” by The Head and The Heart which was on repeat for this

It felt like the first day of school all over again. Everyone else seemed to coalesce together into their predetermined cliques and you were left on the fringes. You overheard people talking about how they had gotten married and divorced, had small armies of children, traveled the world, had lunches with celebrities and politicians. Of course, they were just show-boating, trying to present the best versions of themselves in the least amount of time. Still, it was intimidating to say the least.

“Were you– Did you transfer in senior year?”

“No, I think that was someone else.” I was here the entire time, Rebecca. We had a class together like, every semester. 

No, you couldn't let your cynicism ruin this. There was still a possibility that something good could come out of today. I’m an adult, with a job and debt and a cat, you reminded yourself. And I have friends outside of this place, real friends. These people don’t hold any power over me anymore. 

So, like a heat-seeking missile, you zeroed in on the other people who looked like they felt  just as awkward as you did, those who were engrossed in their phones or over-analyzing the limited options at the bar. Some of them you knew, some of them you wished you didn’t know. You committed to making small talk with a few of them, but it was stilted at best. 

Refilling your snack plate for the third time, you noticed a familiar pair of glasses across the table from you. Robby Floyd. You hadn’t thought about him in years, and certainly hadn’t expected him to show up here. You never had a class with him, but the two of you had worked at the same mom and pop restaurant after school. He was quiet, kind of awkward, but then again, you weren’t exactly the center of attention either. But you remembered those late nights closing together, sometimes he’d drive you home and sometimes you didn’t want to get out of the car.

He looked almost the same as he did in your fuzzy memories. Maybe more muscular, and somehow taller. But still, the same glasses, the same perfect hair, the same cute face…

“Hey, Robby. Robby Floyd." He looked up at this, blinking in surprise. "I don’t know if you remember me, but we worked together at–.”

“Y/N. Yeah, no, I remember.” Did his voice always sound like that? “Sorry, it's just that most people call me Bob now.”

"Bob…” You tested it out in your mind, but it felt so middle-aged. “Is that what you want me to call you?" 

"No, that's fine, Robby's fine. I just… haven’t heard it in a while."

"So what have you been up to lately?”

He thought for a second, then settled on, “Just… stuff.”

“Well, that’s thrilling to hear.”

“No, I know, it��s just… not something I’m really supposed to talk about.” The two of you drifted to a table where a plethora of empty drink cups had been abandoned. Of course, even people pushing thirty couldn’t be expected to clean up after themselves. 

“So you’re an assassin now?"

“No, I'm a weapon systems officer. In the Navy.”

Right, you vaguely remembered something about him enlisting after graduation. But the words weapons and Robby didn’t seem to fit in the same sentence. “So what do you do, blow things up? Like Battleship?”

“Well, I do it from a plane.”

Your eyes widened. “...That’s insane. I certainly would not have expected that from you.”

He just smiled and nodded, switching the topic to, “What about you, what have you been doing?”

“I am drowning in student debt, just like the rest of us. Except for you, I suppose. But I’ve been working from home mostly. Lately, I’ve been really into jigsaw puzzles, and I finally watched the John Wick series. So, yeah, exciting stuff.”

“John Wick, those are really good movies, I’ve heard,” he said sincerely. “And puzzles, that’s great mental stimulation. Helps improve your visual-spatial reasoning and short-term memory.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s exactly why I do it,” you replied. “Definitely not just for the pretty picture at the end.”

That got a laugh from him, and you mirrored it. Just like old times. 

Unavoidably, your conversation eventually turned to your glory days as minimum wage servers. 

“You were like the only person I actually enjoyed working with there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, cuz you were nice and you actually did your job, instead of leaving shit behind for everyone else to clean up. You were proactive. And the Sunday brunch ladies loved you." Adopting the affect of withered, old biddie, you said mockingly, "That Robby Floyd is such a nice young man. If only my granddaughter wasn’t such a degenerate whore, maybe they could make a nice family.“

He grimaced. “They didn’t really say that, did they?”

“No, but the sentiment was there in their underlying tone. I just read between the lines." 

“Well, you were really good at your job too,” Robby insisted. 

“I wasn’t, but thank you for lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

Now it was your turn to grimace. “Really? I feel like I was kind of a mess back then.”

At this, Robby only shrugged. “Weren’t we all? I mean, we were kids.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember seeing you crying in the Walmart parking lot at 11pm on a Wednesday.”

“That’s because I went to the nature reserve to cry. No one’s there after dark, so...” You couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or just saying that to make you feel better, but that’s when you realized what was truly different about him. He seemed more confident, more at ease, more candid, as opposed to his former existence as an overly polite wallflower. 

“I see. That’s definitely a much more scenic location to cry at. You know, it’s insane how all that stupid stuff we were worried about back then just–”

“--Doesn’t mean anything now. Sorry.” 

“No, that’s exactly what I was going to say. It’s just gone, and now we have a million other things to worry about and in ten more years, those things will be gone too. And we’ll be sitting here, again, saying the same exact thing.”

“I hope not.”

“What?” 

“I mean, it’d be nice to see you again in ten years, but… not here. Anywhere but here again.”

“Because it sucks, right?” The fact that he said he wanted to see you again was overshadowed by the implication that someone else was willing to openly admit that high school reunions were awful ideas. 

But Robby didn’t respond, still too polite to be outrightly negative, but his silence was enough of a confirmation. 

“Why are we still here?” you asked. “It’s not like we have any reason to stay until the end of this thing. Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

It felt like the rush of skipping class, sneaking away in the middle of the day, leaving all the stress and awkwardness behind. And sneaking away with a boy– well, a man. Robby Floyd, to be specific. Lieutenant Robby Floyd! 

“My car’s over here.”

“So is mine.”

“...Rock, paper, scissors.” His paper beat your rock, so the two of you hopped into your rental car. Your hands were shaking as you buckled up and started the car. 

“Where are we even going?” you asked, laughing nervously. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Wherever you want to go.”

It was like Thelma and Louise, driving off the edge of the world. You felt like you could go anywhere, leave everything behind, with just the open road ahead. But no, you had to be normal about this. 

Deciding to lean into the nostalgia trip initiated by the reunion, you decided to stop by the restaurant you previously worked at. Unfortunately, it had been replaced by a franchise. The nature reserve was still standing though, so the two of you found the bench with the least amount of bird droppings on it and picked at fries from the drive-thru. 

It was quite scenic there. Birds of various colors perched on strands of tall grass in the marsh, trading mating calls back and forth. It wasn’t a bad place to have a breakdown, and you wondered if perhaps you should’ve spent more time there in your youth. Thinking about it, there were a lot of things you should’ve done in your youth, but didn’t for some stupid reason or another. 

“If you did go back in time, back to senior year, would you do anything different in your life?” you asked, breaking the easy silence between you. 

“Like, if I went back in time to being eighteen, but I still know everything I know now? Or if I went back in time to meet my younger self, and I was giving them advice?”

“Either, I guess.”

Robby thought for a moment, then started, “...Well, there’s a lot. If you think about all the social and political and economic events that have occured in the past decade, there’s so many things you could better prepare yourself for. I mean, I’d feel morally responsible to–”

“Okay, wait wait wait,” you interrupted. “I get what you’re saying, but that’s not what I meant. Let’s pretend that you did warn yourself about the pandemic and cryptocurrency and whatever, but what in your personal life would you change at that moment? Ten years ago today, the summer after senior year.”

You could see he was still overthinking this question, and you almost regretted asking it. But as you stared out at the landscape that had seen so many lifetimes, births and deaths and everything all over again, you surprised yourself by speaking again. 

“I think I would tell my younger self about today.” You hadn’t really thought about your answer, hoping Robby’s would steer the conversation in the direction you wanted. But once you started talking, the words spilled forth like a broken dam. “I would tell myself that coming to this reunion would make me feel just as shitty now as I felt back then and I’d have nothing to do with it. But I’d tell myself to go to work that night and talk to Robby Floyd. And to keep talking to him. And to not waste ten years before realizing how much I like spending time with you.”

“.... I think I might say the same thing.”

“Seriously?”

“I would.”

Part of your mind was already racing over the can of worms you’d just opened, the pandora’s box of what the fuck happens now. You have a job, an apartment, he flies planes to god-knows-where, how is this going to work– But the rest of you, every fiber of your being knew exactly what would happen next. 

You’d smile. A smile that felt like a weight being taken off your shoulders, a sigh of relief that echoed back through the ages.  

And he’d smile too. And that just made you smile harder. 

And you’d kiss him. He’d taste like french fries and ginger ale. 

And you’d feel like a teenager again, but in a good way this time.

When you finally pulled away, you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“What?” Robby asked, obviously confused.

“Well, the Sunday brunch ladies are not gonna be happy about this.”

“What do you mean?”

“My lipgloss is all over your lips,” you said, showing him his reflection in your phone and grabbing a napkin. “That’s certified whore behavior right there.”

He laughed, but shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t care.” 

You gasped exaggeratedly. “Hear that, world? Let it be known that Robby Floyd is an absolute whore. He’s kissing before marriage!”

“I think I’ve done worse things than that.”

Now your surprise was real. He blushed and clammed up, but you knew one day you’d get the full story. His full story, as you made up for all your lost time. 

[hihello-pinky]

“you remind me of my girlfriend”

Idea for this comes from a personal experience lol

female reader~ warnings: none

Kuroo

-Kuroo was your crush back in gradeschool -He liked you too -While the two of you never confessed to one another, it was somewhat of an open secret that you both liked each other -After all, you were both too young to act on it -You were busy with maintaining your good grades and Kuroo was starting to get into volleyball -Anyways -Your family had to move from Tokyo before middle school -And you lost contact with Kuroo for years -Until one fateful day, while you were waiting for your study partner in the university’s library -And someone takes a seat across you -Messy raven hair, sly smile, handsome features -It was Kuroo Tetsuro, your childhood crush! -You were amazed at how you found each other again after many years -And you reconnected so easily -That day, your study partner did not show up and Kuroo volunteered to tutor you instead -And offered to do so for the next weekend, and the next -Until it became a regular occurence for six weeks -You passed the semester with fying colors -So you invited Kuroo to celebrate with you

"I don’t really drink,” Kuroo says as he sips from his can of Coke. “And between the two of us, one needs to be sober to drive.” You’re both in the nightclub closest to the university and the place is packed with students who were also celebrating the end of the term.

You smile giddily at Kuroo, the alcohol already slowly making its way to your system. “I didn’t know you’re such a party pooper, Tetsuro.”

He only makes a face at you, urging you to crack up and stand from your seat, doing your “happy” dance, twirling around and jiving to the music. “Loosen up! Enjoy!”

“For someone who acts demure most of the time, I didn’t know you had this side to you, Y/N.”

You smile and wink at him. “Well, do you like this version of me?”

Kuroo sends you a grin. “Of course.” A dreamy look passes across his face. “You remind me of my girlfriend.”

Coffee, water, soup, or whatever hangover concoctions be damned. Kuroo’s statement is enough to drain the alcohol from your system. “What?”

“You’re exactly the same as G/F/N. Shy and timid most of the time but lets everything loose once intoxicated.” He must see the expression on your face for he follows up his sentence with, “Y/N, are you okay?”

You nod, trying not to cry in front of him. You remind yourself that you have to save your tears for later, somewhere where he won’t see. “O-of course!” You hiccup. “Why would I not be okay?”

Before Kuroo can even relax a bit, you continue speaking. “I mean, I just thought that our study sessions for the past six weeks meant something. You spending a lot of time, being so patient in teaching me, bringing me a cup of my favorite Choco Java Chip, and all the other shit that you did. I just assumed they meant something. But guess what? Of course you have a girlfriend!”

Kuroo’s eyes widen and before you know it, he’s dragging you out of the club. Once you’re in the alley, he begins to speak. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

You scoff in response, making him wince. He thinks back to the past weeks and curses at himself at how easily his actions could have been misinterpreted. “Look, I’m really sorry. I do have a girlfriend, she’s currently in Korea for a student exhange program. I’m sorry if I misled you.”

He sounds so sincere that you even feel shitty for putting him in an awkward situation. You look upward to try to control your tears and take a deep breath before facing Kuroo. “I’m trying to think of a way to end this night in a way where we’ll still be friends,” you say, “But I can’t think of any. I don’t think it’s possible.”

Kuroo shakes his head. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. Let me drive you home.”

You put your hands up in defense. “Nope. This is step number one: we stay away from each other.”

And as you walk out of the club and hail a cab, you badly wish for him to follow you. But he doesn’t. So you sit in the backseat and wipe your tears as the taxi pulls away. After all, Kuroo has a girlfriend and no matter how much you remind him of her, his heart will always belong to her.

[eluxcastar]

Small disclaimer - This isn't a hate piece on Kagami; this is just my opinion. It's ok the criticise a person's work if it comes from good intentions and isn't meant to outright bash the series. I try several times throughout to provide some suggestions for ways I think the things I take issue with could've been done differently, because I'm trying to provide critique that's actually helpful instead of just "Idk he should've figured it out himself lol"

Look I love fluff and backstory and reveals but fluff and especially backstory in an overarching story has to make sense to be reasonable. Why didn't we get all the MikaYū out of our systems back when it would've MADE SENSE FOR THE STORY when they were reconnecting and reforming their bond??? We got a bit, but all of this stuff should've been sprinkled in during those times.

Why didn't we get a scene of them talking and reminiscing on the bus instead of a random flashback in the middle of plot important conversations? More than just on top of the car. These people haven't been in close contact with each other in four years and only a few months has passed since they reunited, and they clearly weren't doing much considering we had time to throw Ferid out of a window.

Why not have them bond over their shared goals and talk more about Mika's dwindling emotions in Ferid's house after it was revealed and they clearly had a lot of time?

Why weren't some of the orphanage flashbacks included just after it was revealed 'Mr Saito' (who Mika was said to like because he gave him drug money to buy lollies) was using them? It could've been a great opportunity to establish the kind of role Rígr had in their lives and give Yū some insight on what life in the orphanage was actually supposed to be like.

Why not include a scene after Mika's death as a Vampire for Yū to grieve and possibly think about the fact he's now lost his entire Hyakuaya Orphanage family? Whatever happened to the nightmares he was having about losing Mika? And back to a different point why didn't the idea of being in Ferid's house again spark any memories of one of the most traumatic events of his life?

Yes I can hear the BuT RiRi it'S NoT jUsT miKaYū and yes I am aware, but the flashbacks regarding them just seem to make the least sense??? Crowley's singular page where he explained what he was in his Human life helped put into perspective the kind of emotional damage that caused him for even people who didn't read Vampire Michaela. 105 gave us a flashback to explain Urd and Rígr's several conflicts and the animosity between them that had yet to be clarified. Shinoa's past gave us a better idea of what she experienced in her childhood as a result of just being born, and why she even goes along with all this stuff when she's supposed to be logical.

Then we get a MikaYū flashback and it's like "Oh Mika? He's taking a dump rn" AND WHY DID I NEED TO KNOW THAT EXACTLY?? Not everything had to be plot centric but if memory serves it directly interrupted the plot. Mika could go take a dump in the WOODS for all I care. No I don't like the placement of Ashera's flashback, even if the contents is good.

There is also a lot to say about Shinoa (outside of her love for Yū), which while I liked the little we learned in the manga the light novels definitely portrayed something different to what we have now. Yes, I know, that's dumb out of context because I am definitely NOT the same person I was eight years ago I still had a Father back then ffs but Shinoa was shown to be very resourceful—she used many aspects of all of her abilities like spells. Now she relies heavily on cursed gear, which is great and I adore how it was animated in the adaptation, but variety wise it would've been a lot more interesting for her to be shown using the many aspects of her knowledge to support her and her teammates attacks (not I'm not saying I wish she was EXCLUSIVELY support but like there are many ways she could boost her own attacks, help her teammates in a pinch, get herself out of tough situations, especially now that she doesn't have cursed gear I want to see an actual impact of that).

There are many other things I could say too, like the lack of weight I feel to many of the characters' trauma and the things they got through. Why didn't we learn anything about Mirai and Shiho before or after her death? How am I supposed to care about him when I know next to nothing about his relationship to Mirai? I know they're siblings and he loves her, but he was going to ignore seeing her when she was possibly going to die to finish a school test. Where is she now? He left her in a freezer last we saw. If there was any time for a flashback it would be now.

Mitsuba's first conflicts have never come back up again about how she accidentally 'killed' her squad leader. That too feels trivial now, I can't see the affect it has on her beyond her just giving up and letting Yū do what he wants because he saved her once and she has a crush on him?? I don't need his address or anything but what was their relationship like? How long had she known him? Her experience? Had they previously fought over the issue? How am I supposed to understand why this has impacted her beyond the obvious of causing the death of another Human being when I don't know anything about how they were as subordinate and superior?

Yoichi's revenge on Lacus and the personality he's keeping hidden feels like a late addition, and not in a good way, there was nothing to indicate it or even hint at it. Why not have Yūichirō lose control of his demon instead and have it be a point of suspicion how effectively Yoichi dealt with the process despite the doubts surrounding him? It would've also brought Yū's ability down a notch to feel more Human, more inexperienced (like he is) because if I recall someone with that much ambition and desire is easier to overwhelm. SHOW that instead of telling it and then saying 'Oh this guy is just the exception'. Yoichi showing hidden strength and wit (in dealing with Yū in that state) from day one would've made it marginally more believable that maybe that personality always existed in him.

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

@ninjastar107 Diisdoodles themselves claimed I've been harassing them over the last year, when

A. I have been blocked. I cannot contact them, nor did I want to. I has trying to genuinely move on, even without answers I know I'm not owed, but It'd help with peace of mind,

B. I have had really no support system to help me with the damage they themselves caused, like they has during this time. While I did cause damage by not knowing they were uncomfortable since they openly responded to me in those VC chats with Darker subjects despite me saying what I repeat over and over you can ask anyone I always say,

Please tell me if you're uncomfortable. I know I'm desensitized, and I don't know what is okay with you or not.

They themselves retraumatized me, I have prior history before even them due to the shipping fights. 2019 left a lot of damage that was retriggered by how they handled this,

I stayed away like they asked, I vented in a Public Server so I wouldn't go behind their back despite them having that channel muted, I could have gone to them but like I always do I respect others wishes of separation no matter how badly I wish for us to reconnect,

Because it isn't my decision, it is theirs, I was completely caught off guard that Monday coming out of surgery and seeing that message

Even then, however I said I was angry over it. Something is seriously wrong if someone is still angry over your actions a year later because they don't feel justified or okay. I don't care that they blocked me, but the one question that bothered me afterwards the one question I wanted to ask them

Just answer me why I listened to you and left you alone like you asked so where did that anger come from? I was coping on my own, I know my own coping mechanisms so that way I can calm down on my own. And yes that has to do with ranting that is a part of autism and ADHD that will not change about me

My brain hyperfixates on stressful situations, picking them apart. So the best way I've found is to rant, usually to a friend but in this case I knew Diisdoodles had a history of people going behind their back so I thought to rant in the public server that we shared the only one that allowed venting because Diisdoodles cannot handle seeing others in pain,

And no matter what, I did still received that message on Monday, weaponizing all my insecurities

And then they again did it in 2023 for everybody to see, now all I can think is

Don't you know all know I know my writing is dark, that's why I try to warn people! I read Stephen King as a child, add in a bit of trauma, and yeah, I'm desensitized to most darker topics of writing.

That's why I give everybody a warning, but they didn't give me anything. And now they decide to tell everybody that they're traumatized after they didn't tell me

After I profusely apologized because again boundaries I was still learning shit when I made that pro shipping comment, they let me know that they were uncomfortable, and I immediately apologized before trying to over explain like normal I guess they took that as me defending myself, it was actually me trying to explain to them my thought process.

I could carry on with the misunderstandings how we both traumatized each other but they won't acknowledge their side in this.

They'll always explode and point the finger but never account for their own actions I know I do the same exact thing but I am genuinely trying to work on that take accountability for my actions I'm sorry I traumatized them because I didn't know their boundaries

However they did the same thing to me and I have been doing good up until this point up until a very traumatic memory was dug back up and the person I wanted to ask why showed up at my doorstep and that just took over not any logical thought process just the pain the anger, the

What did I do?

Honestly,

Before you come at me February 22nd,2023

[aka-indulgence]

How does robo-skider sans deal with 'problems'? Like with humans he doesn't like with his dear 55?

(Warning: HORROR, like, the genre, not.. ht sans.. dsjkhd, but anyway there IS  murder (no gore, but still), so if you dont want that, don’t read!)

Blue eyes gaze through the windows, the home star glimmering in the distance through the blackness of space. A human was walking on the outside of the ship, a sort of advanced "tool-belt" around their middle.

Though they were wearing a suit, Sans knew this wasn't his human. He would've gone with you if he knew you were going out, and he'd know it was you in the suit from having following you around so much.

Though this time, he'd make sure you weren't around. He was sure you were at the living quarters, or maybe at the cafeteria getting breakfast. The rest of the crew should be occupied by now, having experiments to run and other various work. The man walking above is one of them, Sans isn't sure for what he was space-walking at this time, but he doesn't really care.

Crew-Member 4.

Far from the only human he despises, but definitely one that has been getting Sans' attention lately.

"It's not like you actually got fucking hurt, did you? It wasn't even that big." He spat.

Your face was red, and Sans saw your eyes water. "What the hell?! I thought everyone here knows the danger of space debris. Do you remember what happened to Sans?"

"Stop saying that, why did you even give it a name? You treating it like a pet or something?"

"You're not listening to me! Sans lost his leg-"

"You have a suit."

"Sans is made of metal! If it can tear through metal-"

"Ugh, you're so..." No. 4 trailed off, openly expressing his irritation with you. "Your job's simple. All you had to do was fix the exposed panel. Now it's still exposed. Everyone here has something important to do and no one's complaining."

"But-"

"Fine, why don't I do it? Since you're too 'in shock' to do it. I think I need to measure the radiation-disparity soon anyway..."

Sans had stepped in when you tried to argue back and No. 4 looked like he was going to yell. 'Stress-levels', he'd say. No. 4 left the room and Sans got to be alone with you, to comfort you in any way his programming limitations let him.

He’d been watching No. 4 intently since then, though not as obvious as he’d been when he was watching you. He’s aware of the man’s judgement, and Sans was clever enough not to make him think that Sans was following him. Sans was just... observing. His behavioral patterns. Nothing suspicious.

Today, Sans suspects he’s outside to try to “prove” that he can easily do your job while doing his own tasks. The arrogance he reeked... even Sans could smell it.

Sans keeps watching those legs bounding on the outside of the ship until he got to where that unfinished repair was located, and Sans skitters to the airlock.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

The doors close behind him, and Sans can no longer hear anything- not just the fact that the air has been sucked out and he’s in a vacuum now, but his system turns off his “ears” automatically when he went out the ship. The only communication done outside is through radio. The door to space opens silently, and to a human exiting for the first time it would’ve been eerie.

But Sans isn’t a human, nor is this his first time.

No one could hear the clink of his legs over the ship’s exterior. No one was around to hear it anyway, even if they were right under these panels, all of them were on the other side of the ship.

Right now it’s just him and No. 4.

He was crouched down over the panel you had been fixing about... 7 day cycles ago. The one Sans had so stupidly looked away at that moment, having to fix something else, when he heard you screaming...

... no. 4 doesn’t know how terrifying it must be to lose your tether with no means of reconnecting.

If Sans could scowl, he would now.

Sans stalks closer, rage bubbling underneath his metal outer layer. He knows what he wants to do, what he wants to happen to No. 4, he just... doesn’t know how he’ll do it.

The idiot doesn’t even turn to look at him, Sans feels very lucky in that moment that sound doesn’t travel in space. Sans isn’t too far now, probably on the edge what would be the “circle” his safety protocols would allow him near a human.

... Of course this wasn’t a problem to him anymore, the last time you shut it off to fix him he had “neglected” to remind you to turn it back on.

No, he’s not stopping because of his programming. He stands there, only a bit away from No. 4. Like a predator waiting in ambush, except Sans wasn’t even hiding- there was nowhere to hide. The only reason his prey- No. 4 didn’t notice was his rapt attention on the broken panel in front of him. Broken into pieces that Sans couldn’t pick and clear properly with his size and tools that weren’t made to handle things delicately. It seemed that No, 4 wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He was just staring at it. He didn’t have a replacement. He didn’t even use your E-pad to at least get some sense into what he’s supposed to do.

Sans is partly glad he isn’t using it. The E-pad was yours, and you were somewhat fond of it, it seemed. He wouldn’t want you to lose something you liked.

As Sans stands there, processing a mile a minute on how he should go about this, he suddenly remembers to look up, turning his skull around to inspect the dark ‘sky’.

An alert system in him for when he was outside- compelling him to check for space debris at regular intervals.

And for once, Sans is actually glad to see a couple coming towards the ship where he’s standing. Perhaps from the same cluster that made you lose your footing on the ship.

Sans purposefully took his eyes off of No. 4, off his radar, then swiftly moved outside the range he predicted the space debris would hit. He watched as what seemed to be small chunks of meteorite ‘fall’ towards the ship, feeling them clunk over the metallic plating.

He connects to No. 4′s radio.

“Shit!”

Down came the rain

Sans looks up and sees that No. 4 has lost his footing and is slowly spinning vertically, flailing his arms and legs helplessly as he tries to gain some kind of support, and getting nothing.

Sans would love to spend a little more time watching him panic, but he had to do this quick.

And washed the spider out.

He shot forward, close to the tether, watching the swaying rope with intense eyelights. One hand closes around the rope to stabilize it in front of him, the other one, ready to extend his ‘cutting-claw’ to-

ACTION DENIED!

Object: Tether Rope.

TETHER ROPE IS CURRENTLY IN USE BY CREW-MEMBER 4 OUTSIDE THE SHIP. IF ACTION CONTINUES, CREW-MEMBER 4 WILL BE DISCONNECTED!

His hand stops mid-space, his programming straining against him to keep his hand from touching the rope. He tries to change tactics, extending the cutting claw on his other hand, but his other safety protocols had been activated. He was frozen.

‘Must not harm humans.’

‘Must prioritize human well-being.’

His fingers were trembling as he pushed.

only one human matters.

he is not that human.

he isn’t needed.

dispose him.

He feels as if molten metal had been casted into his joints as he tries to push his hand closer to the tether, with the ‘claw’ extended.

DENIED!

Above him, still connected to the radio, he can hear No. 4 breathing in panic, muttering curses under his breath- before Sans hears a gasp, and he looks up.

No. 4 is looking at him now, Sans can see through the visor, his eyes staring at Sans.

“What the fuck- why’d it have to be him that came for me,” he sounds disdained, filled with disgust.

the feeling’s mutual.

Sans strains harder, his legs locking up as he tries to push his claw closer to the rope- No. 4 obviously not noticing if he thinks Sans is here to help him.

His hand budges closer, then tugged further.

“The hell... are you having a fucking crash or something? Just pull the rope! You have one hand on it!”

Sans knew he should be thankful of his expressionless face, but right now he wishes No. 4 could see that he was seething with anger and hate.

he’s never liked me. nor i, him.

he was always the most vocal in hating me.

he treats me like a scrap of metal.

he probably wants to dismantle me.

No. 4 was still yelling at him, but Sans wasn’t listening. The indignation at the way he’d treated Sans over the course of his time on the ship helped budge his hand a little, but then Sans thought of something else...

Someone else No. 4 had never cared too much for.

he always tried to pressure you into doing something.

he thought you were lower than him.

he thought you weren’t important.

he was dismissive of you.

he liked to mock you.

he yelled at you.

The rage was fueling him in the battle against his programming, trying to override the wall blocking his way to freedom.

No. 4 was yelling at him.

Sans felt like poison was building inside him, from how much he wanted this man dead. But then his thoughts kept drifting away from the instances No. 4 had been rude or insulting to him.

Instead, his ‘memories’ drifted back to when he was in the room when it was only you and No. 4. How hurt and angry you looked, how you just wanted him to understand, and No. 4 had talked over you. Thought your troubles were trivial, that everyone else had ‘more important things to deal with’ and you had ‘an easy job’. When he left Sans saw you cry behind your hands, before quickly rubbing them away and you tried to put a smile on your face when you saw Sans.

No. 4 was yelling at him like he yelled at you.

“Hey you stupid robot!?” No. 4′s loud voice came back to his attention, sounding rather irritated and out of breath from how much he spent shouting. He hadn’t moved from his position on the tether, apparently too lazy to pull himself in and is just waiting for Sans to do what he’s supposed to do.

“Hello, can you hear me?” He asks in the most condescending tone. “I know you can, I’m pressing the radio button. Cut this shit out and pull me back already!”

Sans turned his skull up, away from the tether and right into his eyes.

Ṛ̶̊̐ȯ̵̟b̶̜͒͜ȩ̶̌ȓ̶͇̭t̶̩̉ visibly pales at the glare he sends him.

“... no.”

His claw cuts through the tether, with a little twang up the rope when he forces through the stubborn end.

“Wh... what?” Robert’s horrified, quiet voice was so deeply satisfying to Sans’ non-existent ears.

He feels something bubbling up inside him as he watches Robert frantically try to pull on the rope in vain, though this time the emotion inside him wasn’t anger.

“No... no no no NO!”

It was glee.

“heh.... heheheheh... heheheheheheh!”

Robert was whimpering now, breathing frantically as he drifted further, away from the ship, looking at Sans with horrified eyes.

There were no chains on him anymore. He broke his most sacred rule, and in turn broke the rest of his digital bindings.

The warnings were silent, absent. There was nothing holding him back.

Robert was still, staring at Sans. “No... no this isn’t... this isn’t real, you’re... you’re just an machine, you can’t...”

“oh...” Sans purred, delighting in the fact that he actually purred his words, “but i can.”

The ship was slowly spinning. The nearest star had “risen” and cast a bright light over him and Robert, sharp shadows falling away, forming Sans’ into a horrible stretched version of his body; legs thin and sharp.

Sans tilted his head at the floating figure in the distance, his eyes crinkling in a way he wasn’t able to do in the past. It feels so liberating to be able to show emotion, even just a little bit of expression on his face. It especially felt good when he could see that Robert was shaking in his suit. He knew- Sans was really smiling at him.

“farewell, robert.”

Out came the sun

Robert was screaming now, listening to Sans’ manic laughing through the radio. Music.

And dried up all the rain.

Sans relished in the sounds of him shouting until his words turned into non-sense, which then turned into loud, wracking sobs as he mourned his own death. The oxygen of the suit could last for a few hours- the last few hours he’ll spend drifting further and further from safety.

Oh how he longed to finally see him suffer.

Though his smile was unmoving, it felt more like a smirk as Sans returned to the airlock, letting his radio shift to static for Robert. His last interaction with something ‘living’ being his murderer.

The doors parted, and Sans walks in, back to the ship, as if he was back from usual business.

And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

[talatomaz]

lockdown | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i can’t believe that a year ago today, the last ever episode of criminal minds aired. i miss jj so much 🤧

this is sort of in line with my own experiences (to a certain extent). and there’s not as much jj x d!r as i’d intended but I hope you still like it.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

requested by @ouat2017 : “could you do a jj x daughter where the daughter’s school is on lockdown and jj is worried or something like that?”

warnings: gun violence. blood

word count: 2.6k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 18 year old adopted daughter and suddenly finds herself on lockdown after someone brings a gun into her school

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Look, you’re the one that needs to be tutored so can you please focus?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance.

You were currently in the tutoring centre trying to help a self-absorbed jock pass English so he could remain on the school’s football team.

Looking around you, you saw a handful of students giving both you and Cameron - the man-child you were tutoring - disparaging looks.

“You’re not supposed to be yelling at me. You’re meant to be telling me the answers.”

The aforementioned narcissist leaned against his chair, smirking at you in a way that made you fight to hide a shudder.

You could have easily wiped the grin off his face by mentioning who your mother was and who she worked for but instead, you decided to just continue ignoring his advances and carry on teaching him.

“That’s not how this works, Cameron. Now either you listen to me or you fail and get kicked off the team. And quite frankly, I’d rather the latter happen.”

You watched as his brows furrowed in confusion. Sighing, you answered, “latter means the second thing of two things mentioned in a sentence. Now, for the love of God, just finish writing your paragraph on Heller's satire of capitalism in Catch-22.”

You let out a breath of relief when he finally relented and started to scribble on his sheet of paper. You glanced over at one of your friends, who was also tutoring for extra credit, and smiled when she rolled her eyes at Cameron’s actions.

Leaning against the large desk that stood at the front of the room, you relished in the long-awaited silence aside from hushed whispers that came from other students asking for help.

Taking out your phone, you glanced at the screen to see that it was only midday and soon the lunch bell would be ringing.

You smiled softly at your lock screen.

It was a photo of you and JJ, your adoptive mother.

It was taken a few weeks prior at your 18th birthday party. You’d been living with JJ for almost 5 years now; her having fostered you before later adopting you when you were 14.

You still didn’t know what she saw in you on that day you’d first met her - you’d lost your family in a home invasion, barely surviving yourself - but whatever it was, you were grateful because you’d gotten a second chance at life.

Several minutes passed and you’d only broken from your train of thought when you heard someone clearing their throat beside you.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw your friend, the one who’d rolled her eyes earlier at Cameron, standing beside you.

“I see you finally got him to do his work.” She whispered, loud enough for your ears only.

“Barely. He still has an essay to write and hasn’t even finished a paragraph yet.”

“I would have smacked his sorry ass by now.”

You laughed before clamping your hand over your mouth, her comment having caught you off guard.

“Ally!” You whisper-shouted, playfully hitting her arm.

She looked at you with a raised eyebrow causing you to smirk, “Trust me, I’ve thought about it but-”

Before you could finish your sentence, a large bang rang out, shattering the silence the room had once held.

With wide eyes, your head whipped to the door where the gunshot had presumably come from and you listened as the hallways were filled with panicked screams.

Running to the door, ignoring the gasps and shouts from the other students behind you, you turned the lock on the door, pulled down the blinds, switched off the lights and jammed a chair under the handle.

Looking up, you saw everyone had the same look of panic in their eyes; a few were crying, including Ally, and others were pale with shock, Cameron was one of them.

“Guys, we’re gonna be okay but we have to be quiet.” You whispered harshly, constantly looking over your shoulder at the door, listening for any indication of the shooter coming your way.

Everyone stared at you, as if you were the leader of a camp and they were small children awaiting for further instruction.

You supposed it wasn’t far off.

By taking charge, you were the one who’d been unwillingly given the role of protector.

“First things first,” you walked over to the group of 10 students, “I need you all to make sure your phones are on silent. We can’t risk being caught.”

You watched as everyone followed your instructions.

“I know you all want to call your parents but that’s going to attract attention to us so for right now, we need to be quiet.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest and as you spoke, one thought repeated in your head. JJ.

Taking out your phone, you scrolled to find your mother’s name in your contacts. You watched as your thumb hovered over her name.

Just breathe, y/n. Breathe.

Tapping your mother’s name, you brought the phone to your ear.

“I thought you said we couldn’t call anyone.”

Your eyes locked onto Cameron’s, his face pale and his eyes filled with terror and a hint of anger.

“My Mum works for the FBI.” You whispered as the phone rang out.

Any other time and you probably would have laughed at the way his face grew paler, if that was even possible. But, in a situation this tense, it was going to be difficult to find any levity.

Your Mum picked up on the second ring and you let out a shaky breath when you heard her voice.

“Hi baby. A bit early for your lunch, isn’t it?”

You closed your eyes at her soft tone, as if you were trying to engrave the way she spoke into your mind lest you would never hear it again.

From your lack of response, the blonde sensed there was something up, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

A single tear dropped down your cheek as you struggled to maintain a steady tone. Catching a glimpse of Ally staring at you, you steeled yourself and spoke.

“Mum, you need to come quick. Someone’s brought a gun into school.”

“Oh my-AARON.”

You winced when you heard her shout for her boss, listening as you could hear her run up stairs. You held your breath as she filled Hotch in on what was happening before telling Garcia to hack into your school’s security system.

“Are you okay? Stupid question. But are you hurt?”

“Mum,” you interrupted her rambling, “I’m fine. I’m in the tutoring centre with 10 other people. I don’t know how many people are injured. It just all happened so fast.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

Though you could hear the clear panic in her voice, her words did bring some form of reassurance to you.

“Penelope’s hacking into the system so hopefully she can have eyes soon.”

As she spoke, you could hear the clacking of keys in the background of the call; presumably Garcia doing exactly what JJ said.

“Mum?” You questioned when you heard Garcia swear.

Instead of JJ answering, the usually peppy tech analyst replied, her voice shaky and wet, as if she was crying.

“Y/N, thank God you’re okay.”

“What’s wrong, Garcia?”

“Someone’s disabled the cameras remotely. I can only get them back online if someone reprograms them from the inside.”

Grasping what she was explaining, you nodded, “I’ll fix them.”

“What? No!”

Your mother had taken the phone off of Garcia.

“You are not leaving that room, y/n. We’ll find another way in.”

“Mum, someone needs to fix the system from inside the school. I need to do it.”

Ignoring your mother’s worried shouts, you continued to speak, “Mum, I have to. I love you.”

You disconnected the phone and switched it off, preventing her from being able to call you back.

“Y/N, you are not leaving this room.”

You’d only just realised that everyone had been watching you intently during that entire interaction.

“Yes, I am.”

Moving away from the huddle, you rose to your feet and replied to your friend.

Cameron rose to his feet and towered over you as he challenged you, “No, you are not. You’re going to put us in danger.”

“Do you know how to hack into our school’s security system and then reconnect the transformer and enter the Mastercode?”

His face contorted to a look of confusion making you reply,

“Exactly.”

Turning to leave, you felt a large hand enclose around your arm.

“I said, you’re not leaving.”

Your eyes flickered from Cameron’s hand up to his face that dared you to take another step.

“Remove your hand from my arm before I remove your hand from your body. You may letter in football but I’ve been trained by some of the best FBI agents there are and unless you want to end up in a sleeper hold, I suggest you shut up and do what I say for once.”

His harsh grip almost immediately lessened as his hand returned to his side.

“Good. Now, have any of you been shot? No? I didn’t think so. Well, I have and whoever did get shot is probably bleeding out in the hallway. I can’t not do anything.”

No one dared to respond and instead, shook their head ‘no’ at your asking if anyone else would try to stop you.

Content that you weren’t going to deal with any more unnecessary distractions, you made your way to the door and gently removed the chair that was beneath the handle.

“Ally, you’re in charge. Lock the door when I leave. By my count, the FBI will be here soon. And Cameron, you do anything stupid and I’ll shoot you myself.”

Unlocking the door, you stepped out into the empty hallway and hastily made your way to where the main security hub was located.

Just a couple of hours ago, all you had wished for was silence but now that your wish had been granted, all you wanted was to hear the playful shouts and conversations between your friends and fellow students.

The silence that currently fell on your school was unnerving and unbearable. And with each step you took, you flinched at the sound your shoes made against the marble floor. Each noise practically acting as a beacon for the shooter to come find you.

You let out a sigh of relief when you found the Hub and you quickly worked to reconnect the security system. Typing on the laptop that rested atop one of the servers, you couldn’t help the smile that formed when all the cameras re-engaged.

Tapping on one of the keys, you navigated through the various cameras, looking for any indication of the shooter or of any injured people. You stopped when you caught a glimpse of someone.

Squinting at the screen, you saw, what appeared to be a freshman - since you didn’t recognise him as being a part of your year - laying on the ground, a hand clutching his stomach as blood coated his clothing.

Immediately knowing where he was, you cautiously made your way to the east hallway before running when you noticed him laying on the ground, his blood coating the once-white marble floor.

Falling to your knees, you pressed your hands against his wound, trying to stop the steady flow. He groaned out in pain, tears staining his face.

“H-Help me.” He choked out.

“What’s your name?”

“Jackson. But everyone c-calls me J-Jack.”

“Jack, you’re going to be okay. I just need you stay with me, okay? I’m-”

“Y/N.”

You failed to hide the surprise from your face making the younger teen smile despite his predicament.

“You’re t-tutoring Cameron. Everyone knows who you are. Y-You’re the one who doesn’t take any of his shit. I think h-he likes you.”

“Well, tough shit for him. I may be bi but he’s definitely not my type.”

Jack’s laugh quickly turned into another groan of pain.

Unzipping your jacket with one hand, you used the other to keep pressure on his wound. After removing the jacket, you harshly pressed it against his torso and watched as it barely absorbed the blood.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you.” You said, tears filling in your eyes as memories rushed back of when you tried to save your brother after he’d been shot.

“You’re going to be okay. I just need you to-”

You stilled when you heard footsteps come up behind you.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You didn’t recognise the voice and couldn’t bring yourself to turn around to face the person who’d caused all this pain.

You opened your mouth before closing it again, unsure of what to say.

Closing your eyes, you readied yourself for your inevitable death when a shot rang out and a body slumped to the ground beside you.

Jumping at the action, you turned around and almost collapsed in relief at what you saw. Your Mum and her team stood behind you with several SWAT members flanking them.

The tears that had once filled your eyes now spilled shamelessly down your cheeks.

Without saying a word, JJ holstered her gun and ran to your side, hugging you as best she could since your hands were still pressed against Jack’s wound.

Paramedics soon followed and after that it was all a blur. It was as if you were floating outside of your body. Logically, you knew it was the effects of an adrenaline crash but you felt so disconnected from your body.

You barely took note as your mother gently lifted you to your feet, allowing you to be briefly looked over by the paramedics. Nor as your mother escorted you to one of the school bathrooms where she rinsed the blood off your hands.

You didn’t even say a word until you’d arrived back at the BAU where a worried Penelope wrapped you in a tight hug which you returned.

“I’m gonna take her up to my old office, Hotch.”

The Unit Chief simply nodded as he and the rest of the team watched as JJ led you to the abandoned office that was still filled with random case files.

Closing the door, she sat you down on her sofa and stared at you, not touching you in fear that even a simple caress would cause you to shatter.

You exhaled a long breath before finally speaking, “I’m sorry.”

Her brows narrowed, “Sorry? Sweetheart, why?”

You looked at your hands that had been coated in blood less than an hour before and then up at your mother; her blue eyes filled with nothing but concern, love and confusion.

“You told me not to leave and I did. I’m sorry.”

And with that, you started to cry heart-wrenching sobs that made your shoulders shake.

JJ gathered you in her arms, gently rocking you as her long blonde hair draped over you.

“It’s okay, y/n. I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

Her arms wrapped tightly around you as she laid soft kisses on your head, her hand stroking your back.

That only served to make you burrow into her even more, seeking comfort in her motherly embrace.

You muttered your apologies as she continued to reassure you that you were okay.

JJ was afraid that if she stopped, you wouldn’t be here, safe in her arms.

Still rocking you in her arms, she whispered in your ear,

“I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

[aomine-ryo]

Hii! May I have Akashi and Kuroko reactions to sex with their s/o being interrupted by a phone call? Love your page! I have a lot of reading! ;3

Aww I’m happy you like my page :)) I hope you enjoy this one too xx

Scenario: Akashi and Kuroko’s reactions to sex with their s/o being interrupted by a phone call (nsfw)

Akashi

It wasn’t very often that you could get intimate with Akashi considering that he was usually busy and constantly around people. Of course, he made it a point to allocate at least a few hours of alone time with you each week, and honestly, it never failed to become the highlight of his week.

You’d often hang out in your house since his one was never truly empty, considering that his maids and butlers were there. You kind of wished they weren’t there though, because his bed was so much bigger than yours that it seemed like it would be much more fun.

So the two of you laid down in your bed, cuddling with each other as you conversed about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you talking while Akashi listened intently and offered advice and comments whenever he felt like it.

“You know, you could talk too. Your life is much more interesting than mine after all, Mister Emperor,” you said teasingly when you reached the end of your many rants.

“No, it’s all the same old boring stuff,” he shrugged.

“Have you tried to stab anyone recently?” you joked, making him chuckle and shake his head slightly.

“No, not really. People are testing me though,” he played along, fingers twirling the ends of your hair.

Your arms hugged him tighter and you breathed in the comforting scent of his cologne. “Why can’t you stay here forever? You wouldn’t have to think of stabbing anyone then— actually, I might test your patience too, not gonna lie.”

Akashi leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, mainly because he loved you, but also to stop you from spewing any more nonsense. “Staying here with you sounds perfect,” he muttered with a smile.

Akashi tilted his head ever so slightly to deepen the kiss as a warm hand met your cheek. As his tongue made its way into your mouth, he slowly rolled on top of you, trapping you between his arms. He continued to make out with you for some time, his lips slowly making its way down to your neck to leave a few marks.

One by one, clothing was discarded, eventually leaving both of you completely naked as Akashi hovered above you, staring down at you with passion burning in his bright eyes. He had a habit of doing this a lot; he loved to just admire the way you looked underneath him, and as sweet as you thought it was, it was also slightly frustrating as you grew more and more desperate for his touch.

He very well knows this though. He just liked to tease you like this because he wanted to hear you beg for him. And of course, you didn’t fail to do exactly that.

“Sei, can you please do something?” you whined.

“What do you want me to do, my love?” he said sweetly, a devious grin spreading across his face.

“I want you to... f-fuck me,” you said, that last part being in what was barely a whisper as your face flushed red.

“Is that so?” he said, acting all high and mighty. The red haired boy leaned in close and you could feel his breath on your face, sending shivers throughout your entire body. “Well, how could I say no to my princess?” he whispered with a smirk before he pushed his lips against yours once again.

Getting caught up in the kiss, you didn’t notice his other movements until you felt him shove himself inside you with no warning, causing you to gasp and pull away from his lips. Your hands that were previously roaming mindlessly around his back suddenly came to a halt as your nails dug into his skin.

“Everything okay? Do you want me to move?” he asked, consideration in his tone as he watched you squirm underneath him.

You mustered a slight nod as your eyes were pressed shut, trying to concentrate on adjusting to his length. Akashi slowly began to move, and you felt his hand caress your cheek, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. The tenderness of his touch brought you comfort as your eyes slowly opened, and you were greeted by the sight of his bright eyes looking down at you with adoration.

Eventually, you got used to it and pleasure began to overtake your system. “Sei, faster p-please,” you whined.

Without hesitation, he did as he was told, the sounds of your moans getting increasingly louder as he picked up the pace. He was completely entranced by the way you made him feel. Even the way you left scratches on his back felt good.

However, the euphoria he felt was suddenly interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing from the bedside table. “Just ignore it,” you said softly after noticing his evident annoyance, not wanting to lose contact with him.

Akashi was never one to not pick up a call. He was a busy person, sure, but just like he expected everyone to respond to his calls, he held the same expectations for himself. So with a sigh and an apologetic look on his face he slowly pulled out, causing you to pout. “It’ll only take a minute or two, I’m sorry,” he said, pecking your lips before reaching for his phone.

It was a call from the Rakuzan team manager. He was supposed to meet up with his team for endurance training in about ten minutes, but he seemed to have lost track of time with you. As his hand mindlessly rubbed your thigh, he quickly apologised and told her that he’d probably be late because he’s “occupied with something important,” before finally ending the call.

“Do you have somewhere to be, Sei?” you questioned as he set the phone down and returned his complete attention back to you.

“Yes but I told them I’d be late.”

“You can leave if you want to, it’s alright—“

“I’m going nowhere until your legs are shaking and you’re screaming my name, princess,” he interrupted, his tone as serious as ever.

Akashi was fully aware that his presence at the training was essential, however that only gave him all the more reason to not take it easy on you. He felt frustrated at the fact that it interrupted his time with you. Of course that frustration would be taken out on you in the form of some very rough sex— but you didn’t mind that at all. And as promised, Akashi didn’t leave until he was sure that he’d absolutely wrecked you.

Kuroko

There was nothing that Kuroko loved more than spending his afternoons cuddling with you. The comfort of knowing that you were right there in his arms brought him happiness that was immeasurable, to the point where a smile would be spread across his usually expressionless face.

There were times where he’d be perfectly content spending the entire day lazing around with you in his arms. Other times though, he’d have energy to spare.

For instance, it was a regular Saturday afternoon that he was spending at your house, and he was extra affectionate with you. Smothering your face in kisses and tangling his legs with yours under the sheets as you laid in bed together, the blue haired boy seemed rather overexcited— not that you minded. With the way he was acting, you knew exactly how it would end as you began to feel clingier and clingier. All you had to do was patiently wait to see what Kuroko would do.

It didn’t take long for Kuroko’s soft lips to end up on yours, his eagerness evident in the way his tongue slipped into your mouth after mere seconds of kissing him. Soon after he made his way down to your neck, your clothes slowly ended up on the floor, piece by piece. Eventually, all that was left was your naked bodies pressed against each other, growing more and more desperate for some action.

Deciding to take control of the situation, you rolled yourself over so that you were on top of him. Looking down into his gorgeous blue eyes, you smiled as your hand began to stroke his member. You watched for some time as he bit his lip to pull himself together before hovering your hips above it. Slowly, you sank down onto his length, letting out a drawn out moan at the way it filled you up.

It took a few moments, but you eventually adjusted to it, and you began to move up and down, gaining deep groans from your pale skinned boyfriend. “Y/N, you feel so good,” he moaned, unable to stop thinking about how gorgeous you looked when you were on top of him. He swore that he would gladly have this be the only sight he sees for the rest of his life.

Suddenly, the sound of a loud ringing caused both of you to snap out of it as your bodies shuddered in surprise. You looked over to your bedside table and noticed that you were getting a call from a friend of yours. You looked over at Kuroko questioningly.

“You should get that,” he nodded, though there was a hint of annoyance in his expression as he didn’t like getting interrupted.

With an apologetic look, you got up and sat at the edge of the bed to answer the phone call. A part of Kuroko wanted to tell you to ignore it, but he didn’t want you to risk missing an important phone call, so he say up on his elbow and waited patiently for you to finish. The call didn’t go on for too long thankfully, however Kuroko did end up absentmindedly kissing your neck and shoulders while he waited, bringing a goofy grin onto your face.

The moment the call was over, Kuroko practically pounced onto you, letting his hands roam around your body as his lips reconnected with yours. Perhaps he was a little impatient for that call to end. Without losing contact with your lips for even a moment, Kuroko ended up laying on top of you.

Before he continued what was previously interrupted, he pulled away, finally giving you some time to breathe as you looked up at him. “Is everything okay with your friend?” he asked— he was still concerned about you after all.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything important. It’s a shame we lost time over it,” you replied.

As Kuroko began to line himself up against you once more, a small smile appeared onto his face, “It’s alright. We can always make up for it. So why don’t we get to it?” he said simply before pushing himself into you.

A surprised gasp escaped your lips as you tossed your head back in pleasure. All that extra waiting seemingly made him more hungry for you. Yearning for more of that euphoric feeling he felt prior to the interruption, there was no way he way going to go easy on you now.

[getoutofmyjaneway]

Beta Cannon: the Pre Voyager Era of Kathryn Janeway | Mosaic v The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

This weekend, I got a copy of the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway from a local book store. For how frequently we speak about Mosaic in the community (despite having some flaws) I was shocked that I had not heard a lot about this book and assumed it was a bad thing. And yeah in some regards it was (see @mia-cooper’s post on the subject). I have a lot of feelings (I’ll post a proper review at a later point) but one thing that did stick out to me is the divergence from what we have considered Beta Canon, aka, the extended universe of Star Treks told through novels, short stories, video games, etc. After completing the novel, I jumped right into my old standby copy of Mosaic, which has dictated a lot of Janeway’s back story since 96. Both of these novels cover the beginnings of Janeway’s life and how she was shaped into the woman we know. 

TLDR The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway changes a lot of things for no reason. Some of these are for the good. Some for the bad. And some, for like no good reason at all, like it was fine as it was, and was accepted cannon for like 25 years, but sure fine whatever.

I will mention that, as Mosaic has been a book in my library and I have read it too many times, so of course, I do have a bias toward it. Additionally, I feel like it is fair to mention here that authors of Fanfiction have leaned on this as their bibles since 1996 as Mosaic is written by Jeri Taylor, one of the show-runners for Voyager. Because of its connection with a showrunner, Mosaic is also integrated into the canon of the show. It seems that most points that are taken from Mosaic in the Autobiography are only included because of their existence in cannon material.

Anyway, this review is going to focus on the characters that shape Kathryn and I will end with my final thoughts. This is long so to respect your dash, you are going to have to click keep reading. You’re welcome.

Obligatory Spoiler Warning for ALL of Mosaic, chapter 13 of Pathways, and chapters 1-7 of The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

Edward Janeway

In all media, I feel like we can safely say that Kathryn Janeway is in fact a daddy’s girl. Her relationship with her father is very important to her, so it is interesting to see how it is portrayed very differently in both novels. In Mosaic, a lot of the highlights of Janeway’s earlier years revolve around time spent with him. From giving her special attention after ‘Your Sister’ was born, to consoling her after her losing tennis match and subsequent walk home in the rain, and trips to Mars, Kathryn mentions great fondness of quality time spent. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway he is more described as an absent father, one that she always wanted to see and please. When he was home, she wanted all of his attention and to impress him greatly. She wished to follow in his footsteps after gaining a love of flight and the stars with a plane ride and a telescope he gave her. He tried to prepare her by detaining the events of the current conflict with Cardassia and inviting Starfleet brass over for dinner. Overall, in her early childhood, it makes more sense for Edward to not be around often. There is not a lot of conflict between the sources, other than the details of the aforementioned tennis match and different childhood nicknames.  

Edward is in a crash aboard an experimental ship on Tau Ceti Prime which leads to his death. This is where the big differences begin. In Mosaic, Kathryn and her fiancé are also on board. In  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn is still on the Al-Batani. The fall out of this event has a great effect on Kathryn of course in both novels. As this is a missive shaping event of Kathryn’s life, I felt it very jarring to be changed. This moment shaped Janeway and gives us good context for why she handles situations the way she does. I see this trauma and I understand her character better, for dealing with the loss of two of the most important people in her life all at once.

Gretchen Janeway

The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway was good to Gretchen Janeway as her character is basically a blank slate. We know little about her from Mosaic as it mostly focuses on Kathryn’s relationship with her father (and other male influences in her life). It is nice to learn more things about Grechen as with Edward’s job, it is likely that Kathryn was mainly raised by her. Other than being an artist, she also wrote some of the Flotter holos and wrote a number of children’s stories about the people of Bajor during the occupation. She does a lot of humanitarian work with the refugees from Bajor during the occupation. She loves to garden and get her daughters involved. She has a close bond with Phoebe due to their overlapping interests, but you can tell that she strives to support her in what she does. Overall, I like getting know Gretchen to be someone of than Kathryn’s mother.

Phoebe Janeway

 I was shocked when researching Memory Alpha for this review, Phoebe is never named in any Cannon media up to this point (Star Trek Prodigy could very well change this). We know Janeway has a sister and she is an artist, but that is it. Both novels keep her very similar personality-wise. In both stories, Kathryn is not looking forward to being a big sister. They also both mourn the loss of their father together. In Mosaic, she is not mentioned much. Kathryn tells her she is not old enough on an off planet trip and Phoebe plays pranks on her. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway goes much more into depth. They don’t get along when they are younger. They fight a lot. I feel this is a very realistic portrayal of real siblings, vying for attention and approval, snapping when they don’t get their way.  They both excel at what they do, Kathryn in her studies and Phoebe through her art. They seem to need to one-up each other at every turn.  As they grow up, they grow closer together, as many siblings do. Points added for giving Phoebe a wife, something which has been included in a lot of fanfiction. Overall, there are no big conflicting points.

Mark Johnson

Kathryn’s fiance at the time of the Voyager’s disappearance, Mark is a very different part of Kathryn’s life in both novels. In Mosaic, he is a childhood friend and went by his middle name Hobbs. Seemingly always two steps behind Kathryn, he did a lot of the same activities that she did, tennis and swimming in the underground cave systems. He did these poorly, and this makes Kathryn always look down upon him. They reconnected after her father’s death and she fell head-over-heels for him. Personally, I always felt this was a little uncharacteristic of Kathryn, to run away from her responsibilities to be with a man. It just seems very out of character and has always bothered me. The  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway takes a completely different approach. She meets Mark as a friend of Pheobe and her wife as a widower. They hit it off and they fall hard. You can see the conflict in Kathryn as she debates how to move forward with a relationship as they have different outlooks on life. She has a drive to explore but does not want to be an absent parent. She debates quitting, which I don’t think is something Janeway would have ever done. Overall she decides to accept Mark’s proposal just before taking command of Voyager. This makes the Dear John situation a lot more believable as it makes sense that he would want to move on with his life much quicker. Overall, I have to just ask, why? I know Mark doesn’t have a lot of character, but why change basically their whole relationship dynamic? 

Justin Tighe

Justin is a character I actually like for selfish reasons. This explains why I was very miffed that he was nowhere to be seen in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Justin is Kathryn’s first love, they were coworkers, engaged and in love, and dies in the same accident that takes her father. As a person who always wanted Chakotay and Janeway to get together, this incident perfectly gives the reason. She is afraid to get romantically involved with a crew member because of the nature of the job. This dynamic is seen between Picard and Nella Daren in TNG very well. Kathryn has learned the hard way that she can lose a person under her command and how it feels when you are in love with that person. In early Voyager, you can see she isolates herself from the crew and it takes time for her to get comfortable. And during Night she relapses to her old ways. This is the way I have always justified Janeway’s reluctance to have a romantic relationship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. By understanding her background, I have a lot of respect for that choice. Her relationship with Justin really shaped how she handles relationships and without the impact he had on her life, it actually makes her character weaker.

Owen Paris

Owen is Kathryn’s mentor. In Mosaic, they meet as he is reviewing her junior honors thesis advisor on massive compact halo objects. From here they gained a relationship built on respect and learning. It makes sense that, as he was her personal mentor, that she would be close with his family, and why she would seek out Tom as a person to bring with her to the Badlands mission. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, she does not meet him until she is on the Al-Batani. This doesn’t only weaken her relationship with Admiral Paris, but moreover weakens her relationship with Tom. If he was her superior officer, why would she develop such a ‘big sister’ mentality to Tom if she didn’t have as many opportunities to meet him?

Tuvok

Mosaic does not go too much in depth with Tuvok and Janeway’s relationship, but its sister novel Pathways does. In Pathways, Tuvok meets Janeway when he is an ensign under her command of the USS Bonestell. The Bonestell and the Billings, two ships that Janeway served on, tend to get confused a lot. Most sources have Janeway’s first command as the Voyager, Including Voyager itself -  “It doesn't seem like my first command is shaping up the way I expected,” Janeway Shattered. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway has her and Tuvok meet on the Al-Batani. I actually really like the dynamic between them, as they grow to respect each other over a much longer period of time. I also like that, though Janeway climbs through the ranks, it does not change their relationship dynamic as she still relies on him and asks him advice as if they were equals. I think giving them a longer time to build their relationship. Also would like to note that Janeway and Tuvok also had a friendship with the original CMO of Voyager, Dr. Fitzgerald. I always wanted to know more about the Pre-Caretaker crew and I would have loved to see this dynamic and how the grief of losing a close personal friend in the Caretaker incident would impact them both.

Also I feel obligated to shout out the Janeway and Tuvok story in Star Trek Waypoint One-Shot. I need to get around to doing a series retrospective, but this short story I have not seen anyone talk about and I love it so much. Please read Waypoint. Okay next.

Other characters

Cheb - Janeway’s boyfriend in Mosaic. He was kind of an asshole and got her into trouble. He is not in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway and I see no problem with this.

Boothby - “[he is the] head groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy. When I was a cadet, he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters,” Janeway Revulsion. Boothby is not in Mosaic. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, it is explained that her mother loved to garden and this was something that Boothby did as a gradian figure to make her feel at home and destress. Makes sense.

Aisha - A childhood friend of Katheryn’s. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Mosaic has this weird thing about highlighting the relationships with only the men in her life, so it is nice to see her have some other female friends.

Nexa - Katheryn’s roommate at the Academy.  Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Nexa helps broaden Kathryn’s horizons by helping to learn about Exoliguisticts, first contact, and the Betazoid culture. Again nice to see her have other female friends.

Riker - Yes they go on a date in Mosaic. He is not mentioned in the  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. I know he is a gag character but I still liked it.

-----------------------

Final Thoughts

A lot of characters were changed between these two novels. There is a lot to like and a lot to hate. I really like what the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway did with characters like Tuvok and Gretchen Janeway. Other characters were not so lucky (Justin, sweetie I’m so sorry that they would erase you like that, oh my god). It’s a mixed bag, but one thing I need say is... why?

We have had a good thing going here with the established canon as is. Mosaic (and Pathways) is the foundation of which the last 25 years of fanworks and the relaunch novels are based on. Why change history when it is already written?

Always, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading my novel of a post. I will see you in the full review.

[tobi-momo]

The Third Set

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

GENRE: Romance | Pining | Fluff | A lil crack (kinda)

WARNINGS: not proofread | a lil ooc and soft at the end (pls dont get mad at me 😭😭)

WORD COUNT: 1k+

A/N: hihihi ok so this idea literally came to me while reading another fic (i cant remember it now im super sorry) and it wouldnt leave my head so i couldnt NOT write it yk? pls keep in mind that it gets rlly soft at the end and really out of character😭 i just hc that does affectionate things during an adrenaline rush, like he's too hyped to care ab what going on around him he just wants to see you, and so this is basically where that came from kasjkhasd- also this is not meant to be spicy at all whatsoever (although some remarks from the others are made that way when you read) its supposed to be romantic and lighthearted, so pls dont think its that sexual😭 also thank you @awmahleebkg my wife for giving me the confidence to post this i love you baby <333

Watching Kei play was one of your favorite things to do. Sure, that might sound a little sad, but watching him and his team working together on the court was something that you wouldn't miss the world for. Until an away game came along, it taking place somewhere farther than they usually are, and since you weren't a part of the team, you couldn't take the school bus with them. So, you took the city bus. He might have told you not to, he might have told you to wait at your house for him to return and tell you about it, but you couldn't help it. This was an important game, and you needed to be there and support him.

He was nervous, although someone who didn't know as well as you wouldn't be able to tell, you were always able to see right through him. Always able to tell when he was nervous or scared, even intimidated. He found it annoying, that you were always there for him, confused as to why you dedicated your time for him, but years after your first meeting he realized that he would do the same for you. You didn't know that his heartbeat the same way for you as it did for him, and he sure as hell didn't know that the reason you stuck by him all these years was to feel that exact heartbeat next to yours.

[3:37 P.M.]

Kei <3: Stay home, y/n

Y/n: but it's an important game! i want to cheer you on!

Kei <3: I'll tell you what happens after I get home if you really want me to. But stop whining at me it's annoying.

Y/n: 😠😠 let. me. go.

Kei <3: No.

Y/n: i hate you so much

Kei <3: Sure you do

You wouldn't listen to him, of course. Why would you? You get your bag ready to leave, filling it with snacks and water bottles to help the team out.

By the time you snuck in, it was half-way past the second set. Tensions were high and sweat was dripping off their jaws while they gain each point. You made sure to stay a little quieter, not wanting Kei's attention to be drifted away from the game, especially since you weren't supposed to be there. By the time they won that set, they were tied with the other team. One more set left, things are getting really heated.

The score remained close to each other throughout the game, Karasuno being two points away from a win with their opponent three points behind them. Watching Kei as he looks at the floor with frustrated eyes, obviously mad at himself for not doing better. He frowns, taking a sip of water so no one sees it. You can see a slight tint of fear in his eyes- he was scared of losing the set. Although all you've seen were blocks of perfection, even a couple spikes that hit the court floor aggressively, points going towards Karasuno once more, he thought he wasn't doing good enough. You knew he was amazing, everyone in the room knew it too, so why didn't he?

He jogs back on the court after a timeout from the other team, getting into a serve/receive position, waiting for the ball to come over the net. The server on the other team hit the ball over, sending it straight to Nishinoya, who receives the ball perfectly, passing it to Kageyama. Backing up into the set, Hinata runs behind Kageyama, surprising the blockers on the other side of the net when Hinata smacks the floating ball down with his might. Instead of the ball hitting the floor, the left-back position receives the ball at the seam, shanking it towards the audience.

Another point.

The crowd goes wild and the air tightens as the scoreboard raises. You bounce on the bleachers and stomp your feet in excitement, knowing that this match would be over soon.

Kei exhales sharply at the whistle, relief, and nervousness seeping out of him. He can do it, he thought. Only one more point. When the ball passes him to the other side of the court, quickly moves to the right side of the net, jumping and completely regretting his decision once the ball hits the floor. He watches the ball trail off in shock, the whistle suddenly getting too loud for him. He grits his teeth in defeat, thinking that it would be over for them. His head faces the ground, his hands are balled up in fists. That's when you decide to take initiative.

Inhaling a harsh breath, you stand up putting your hands on each side of your face before yelling out to him.

"TSUKISHIMA KEI!!!"

His head whips from the floor, his eyes widening once they find yours in the big crowd. You stand out- to him at least.

"DON'T GIVE UP!!! YOU GOT THIS!! LET'S GO!!"

His pupils dilate at your figure cheering him on, suddenly wishing he hadn't told you to stay home. He didn't know you were there, or how you get here in the first place, but he was glad you came. He wanted you there. His shocked expression turned into a smirk of confidence before he turns back around and goes to his position. The whistle blows once more, telling the server that they can go. He refocuses on the court, watching the ball and everyone near it, analyzing everyone's movements and predicting where the ball is going to go. The big spiker on the other team runs towards the net with his approach, swinging his arms back, ready to slam the ball down as Kei quickly beats him to it, jumping and raising his arms on top of the net in defense.

The ball smacks the floor of the court.

Kei's eyes glow when his feet touch the ground again.

They won.

He tries his best to catch his breath, heaving once his teammates trample him on the ground. You scream in victory, jumping up and down, sprinting down the bleachers to the team, them welcoming you with tight hugs and cries of joy. Electricity coursed through Kei's veins, adrenaline making his sight clearer, his hearing less muffled and his breathing a lot clearer.

You see Kei on the other side of the court, getting up and steadying himself on his feet once you two lock eyes. You run towards him with a fast pace, him reciprocating as his legs speed up toward you. You jump on him, clinging to him as much as you could when wrapping your legs around him, digging your head in his shoulder. His hand immediately grab the back of your thighs for support, helping your body balance on his while you tug on his neck.

You praise him, telling him how proud you were of him picking himself up and being the best, telling him how amazing his blocks and spikes were, how amazing he was. You could hear his breathless laughs of joy, a genuine smile painting his face when you subconsciously pepper his face in firm pecks from your lips, showering him in sweet affection for his win.

"YOU DID SO AMAZING KEI!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! THAT WAS SO COOL!! YOU SHOULDA SEEN YOURSELF OUT THERE! OH MY GOD THAT WAS- THAT WAS PERFECT!! I KNOW YOU WERE DOUBTING YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT BUT YOU WERE AMAZING THE WHOLE TIME I MEAN-"

Your words muffle when his lips crash onto your- a rough, exciting kiss that has you moaning in his mouth from surprise and desperation from wanting this for the longest time. Your hands slide up from his neck to his cheeks, palming them and pulling him closer while your lips disconnect and reconnect rapidly, not being able to get enough of each other. His hands subtly, but firmly squeeze your thighs while you tilt your head, giving him the chance to kiss you deeper. The amount of emotion going through your bodies, desperation, love, excitement, impatience, relief, mixing with the adrenaline in your system's causing your worlds to finally collide and mix.

"What are they doing?"

"I don't know but I feel like I'm interrupting something"

"I think they're the ones interrupting"

"Just let them have this one, guys"

"They are literally about to do it on the court how am I not supposed to feel uncomfortable, Suga-san?"

"Aw, these lovebirds are finally getting together, I knew it would happen"

"Liar, you bet they wouldn't!"

"Tanaka-san! You weren't supposed to say anything!"

You couldn't hear any of the banter in the background, your only focus was him, and his only focus was you. And all the team could do was watch.

pls i know this was rlly ooc im super sorry

taglist: @combat-wombatus @hitosushi @toosharkinternet @alpha3113 @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @solar3lunar @zerohawks @katsuhera

[rivalsforlife]

Do you have anything you wished was different from Ace Attorney canon?

Hello I'm finally slowly starting to get around to answering some of these! Sorry for the wait.

Uh this ask got super long so a basic summary of it: narumitsu being canon in a well-written way would be nice even though I don't think it would ever happen, I stand by not bringing back Phoenix as a main protagonist in DD, and I'd also want to rewrite all of SOJ so that Apollo goes to Khura'in in place of Phoenix, to have more interesting character stuff going on.

So the longer answer is this:

Aside from some of the actually problematic stuff that I don't feel qualified to talk about, story-wise, I answered a sort of similar question about a year ago here. I have changed my opinions a little bit since then, particularly with regards to the canonicity of narumitsu... because while I do love narumitsu I feel like I don't trust Ace Attorney to actually do it properly. After all if this past November has taught us anything "making a ship canon" could actually be quite undesirable and I have no desire to see Phoenix and/or Edgeworth sent to superhell. (I literally know nothing else about supernatural sorry about that.)

If capcom were somehow able to make narumitsu canon but in an unobtrusive way and as a natural progression of the storyline, like oh hey, the court record profile for Miles Edgeworth's Obligatory Last-Case Appearance has Phoenix mention they're dating, and maybe there's a few lines suggesting they live with each other, but it's not like... taking the entire story to force them together and otherwise does not change the way they interact with each other and butcher one or both of their characterizations in the process? I'd definitely be happy about that. Not gonna lie even if they made narumitsu canon in the most terrible way possible I'd have a "holy shit I can't believe they did that it's the best day of my life" kind of moment before I could think about it critically. But I honestly see no chance of them ever actually making narumitsu canon, so that's quite unrealistic to hope for anyways.

Aside from that in that other ask I talked about basically the premise of an Apollo trilogy and not bringing back Phoenix as the main protagonist in DD, and I still stand by that, buuut in my other ask I did touch on making SOJ a different game where Apollo goes to Khura'in instead of Phoenix - and you know what I'm going to take some time to actually talk about my dream version of SOJ because there were a lot of little things about the one we got that I didn't like. And it's going to be very long. So it's under a cut.

SO yeah I talked about it a bit in the other ask. I think that Phoenix going to Khura'in is a rather weak idea both externally and in-universe. In one of the interviews, too lazy to find which one, Phoenix basically goes to Khura'in because the writers couldn't figure out how to challenge him anymore. ... And then they don't actually challenge him at all. Because oh well now we're going to this new country where they KILL DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO LOSE and then it's supposed to be *shocking* that Phoenix would risk his life for a kid or his best friend. you know the guy who ran across a burning bridge to save his best friend. you know the guy who got punched in the face, nearly killed by the mafia, and tazed trying to save his clients. This doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. His whole travel in Khura'in doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. Basically the only reason he's there is to see Maya - Maya who theoretically would be returning home in about two weeks. Maya who was still in her training for two more weeks when Phoenix visited so he wouldn't be able to see her anyways. ... And in the meantime Trucy had the biggest show of her life that was going to be on TV and Phoenix wasn't there for it. And of course Phoenix didn't return home after Trucy was accused of murder (yes he couldn't be there for the trial, but he definitely could have for the emotional support afterwards) and instead just sits for two weeks in Khura'in doing literally nothing after Ahlbi's trial.

(And yes I know about the anime prologue that has Phoenix think Maya's in danger... but that's not strictly canon since it's never mentioned in game, isn't technically a part of the game, and even still, why wouldn't he go home after knowing that Maya's safe and that Trucy had been ACCUSED OF MURDER. Honestly that's what makes me angriest about this whole thing is that it makes Phoenix out to be a terrible dad. We really don't need any more takes like that, especially not from canon.)

And what about Apollo, you may ask? Well, given case 5 of SOJ, Apollo actually has a personal link to Khura'in and ends up staying there afterwards... after being there for like a day or two. I should note here that it has been a while since I went through SOJ in its entirety so I am fuzzy on many of the details. But both through what I remember and some conversations with people who actually played the game recently, the motivation for Apollo to actually stay in Khura'in isn't that great. It mainly seemed like guilt about his dead dad who he hadn't been in contact with for years and had completely written off until a few days ago but oh he died and then went to go visit him so... better take up the law office!

If Apollo had gone to Khura'in in place of Phoenix and spent more time there, reconnecting with his childhood home and actually getting passionate seeing how corrupt the legal system is there (even though we have a corrupt legal system at home) and being driven to fix it, that would make for a stronger story, I think. The Khura'in plot is more personally focused around Apollo than it is Phoenix. Phoenix's connection to Khura'in is through Maya, but Maya doesn't really have much of a connection to it aside from "it's where spirit channeling is from and she trains there". But Apollo, I guess, grew up there. So it's so strange to me that they force all of Apollo's connection to Khura'in in the last case while Phoenix is running around doing who-knows-what for the rest of the game. Phoenix spends more time getting to know the state of Khura'in and the Defiant Dragons and case 3's whole thing but he isn't the one who in the end decides to sit down and fix it; that's all on Apollo. It almost feels like they forced one of the two plots in to everything. And it was probably conceived as a Phoenix story that they needed to fit Apollo into last minute because oops he's supposed to be a protagonist too.

Some other strengths to Apollo going to Khura'in include that it would shake up the character dynamics a bit. Instead of Phoenix defending Maya, it's Apollo defending Maya, and that's a particularly interesting thing to look at in the context of Khura'in's "we kill defense attorneys" system. Of course, Phoenix would risk his life to save Maya, 100%, every time. But what about Apollo, who hasn't met Maya, who only knows her as "Mr. Wright's former assistant" - would he risk his life for her? And I feel like Maya would argue more against him defending her because of that. "We're strangers, you don't know me, you don't have to risk your life defending me." (Sidenote that I was always upset that Maya didn't protest much when Phoenix offered to defend her, knowing his life was at risk - sure she knows him better and knows he's always been able to get her out of these situations, but at the same time, the fact that there was no "what about your daughter?" conversation sucks. I really wish SOJ wouldn't have like. completely forgotten about the phoenix-trucy father-daughterisms.)

Let's say Apollo goes to Khura'in. Phoenix stays at home. Phoenix gets a call from Apollo that's basically "uhh hi Mr. Wright you know your friend Maya, she's been arrested for murder, if I defend her and I lose we're both dead," then you can tie in to that moment in 6-2 where Phoenix (who can't make it in time for the trial!) believes in Apollo and his skills as an attorney, not just to save Maya's life, but also his own. It ties in a bit more to the overall challenge of defending someone at the risk of your own life. Again, Phoenix would have very few hesitations, if any, risking his life to defend Maya. Apollo may have more defending a stranger at the risk of his own life.

Then if you can actually have Apollo and Maya talk together that would be neat - Maya can tell him embarrassing stories about Phoenix's rookie days, for instance. Their dynamic would be quite a bit different from Phoenix and Maya's, and that would be an interesting thing to see, unlike what we have in SOJ where all of Maya's substantial interactions are with characters she already knows or brand new characters.

(It would also be pretty neat to know more spirit channeling politics and dive in more to Maya's perspective on Khura'in and also her role as upcoming Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique and where she plans to lead the village in the future and also reconcile with her family's bloody legacy, but I'm not quite sure how to fit that in right now.)

And how about Phoenix, back home in Japanifornia? Evidently he'd end up being in charge of defending Trucy. Now, I did love the siblingsisms in canon 6-2, but I feel like there is still potential for Phoenix defending Trucy. All of Apollo Justice has a bunch of good moments between Apollo and Trucy, and she's co-counsel on all his trials, but we've never had any substantial Phoenix and Trucy investigation or co-counsel moments. I feel like AU 6-2 would be a great opportunity to dive more into Phoenix and Trucy's relationship and how it may have changed after Phoenix got his badge back. Plus, Phoenix being "the only one who knows how she really feels on the inside", he'd have unique insider knowledge into some of the Gramarye stuff that comes up in the case and Trucy's personal connection to the Gramaryes, which Apollo knows a bit of, but Phoenix knows more of. ... Or at least, should know more of, given that he raised Trucy for nine years at this point and they're very close, and Phoenix knows her better than anyone else does, even if capcom has forgotten this.

... Of course having Athena defend the case would also be great because more Athena spotlight is never a bad thing, but it's hard to come up with a reason why Phoenix wouldn't be there to defend her. And doing more switcheroos in terms of role in the plot is a bit beyond the scope of what I have in mind right now. Sorry Athena.

Aside from that, Athena still gets Storyteller, Apollo still heads Turnabout Revolution, and Phoenix still gets the DLC case. Apollo stays in Khura'in in the end with a bit more to his motivations. Rather than it just being about carrying on Dhurke's legacy, it's also something Apollo is passionate about after all he witnessed here. While we're at it I'd still rework a lot of Turnabout Revolution to make it so that Phoenix genuinely believes in Atishon because that makes for sooo much more interesting of a plot and actual character development on Phoenix's part than "Maya was kidnapped again and Phoenix is only wrong when he has no other choice", but that'd require some more detail and this post is long enough already.

And in terms of other details that need to be sorted out, there's the question of why Apollo would need to go to Khura'in in the first place. I'd probably say something to do with Dhurke. Maybe he comes back a bit earlier - actually alive, maybe, though crossing borders would be a bit of a challenge, or he reaches out to Apollo remotely somehow and Apollo goes to yell in his face about abandoning him (or at least that's what he thinks he wants.) Then we could have some more Dhurke and Apollo bonding time, potentially? Idk, if you switch up Phoenix and Apollo you're pretty much writing a whole new game and obviously I have not worked out all the details, but I think if Capcom had tried to go with this route from the outset they'd have a stronger game. At least stronger character motivations.

So... yeah. Those are my opinions. If you read through this whole thing I'm very impressed because it got very long!