#I just want to get this theory out right now
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i love answering questions about myself idk which part of my mentally ill brain that comes from…filling out the anxiety/depression scale worksheets??
1. Different pictures of Jimin from BTS that I can change with each tap of the screen
2. Maybe cheese?
3. Not really? Just terms of endearment like honey and pumpkin from my grandpa + princess from my titi
4. Listening to Freak by doja as i’m answering this question
5. No, but read plenty of 1d fanfics
6. Yes, but not super active (at all)
7. Just my standard ear lobe piercings for now. Had my belly button pierced (infected), both ear cartilages (lowkey uncomfortable bc covid mask, but want to repierce soon), and the left side of my nose x2 and the right side once
8. Their humanity
9. Chocolate chip. Loved by all and palatable for everyone
10. Cat person downnn! I’ve worked with dogs since 2019 and mama I’m tired
11. Neither tbh because they both suck
12. Boring asf but “yeah” in response to if i just grabbed dinner
13. I honestly have no idea
14. Night owl. The kind that wants places to not close at 9 because I’m also a huge foodie and need to be eating by the hour essentially
15. I was gonna be basic and say my bed, but a really comfortable couch and reclining chair also hits for me
16. Well yes 🤭🫡
17. Introverted, curious, empath (actually)
18. SWEATPANTS you freak?? i choose comfort over everything (my overstimulation tendencies have grown over the years, but a quick fact is when i was younger, i distinctly remember my mom putting me in some army patterned cargo pants and i remember crying and kicking my legs to remove the friction of the pants…mind you i was above the good age of 5-7)
19. Fuck Starbucks (however if someone else is already paying, that overpriced bacon gouda sandwich)
20. Maybe orange actually. And yellow
21. My dog. My immune system. My bts collection worth who knows how much. My grandpa
22. I don’t like either im kind of so sorry. i like tea when i dont know it’s in a drink i like? (example: feng cha has a reallyyy good strawberry overload drinky)
23. Dinosaurs (in theory)
24. Shit probably 10+ years now for sure
25. A book on what’s safe for consumption (or the nick sturniolo option of a pilot to get me tf out of there)
26. Oversized and comfy core
27. To be my own boss and not have to worry about time off requests
28. Unfortunately single as hell
29. A nice pair of oversized sweatpants or joggers with an oversized hockey style jersey
30. Oh. Is that not normal? I know all the lyrics to all of my favorite songs
31. Brown naturally, but black at the moment
32. All the time. I’m my own best friend and best company
33. Not really. I want to get into it though. Just a little natural beat (i don’t have the eye to brow space to pull of eyeshadow)
34. That I look younger than I am i guess
~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~
📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?
🍫 Cheese or chocolate?
✨ Do you have any nicknames?
🎵 Last song you listened to?
✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?
😏 Are you on discord?
💛 Do you have any piercings?
🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?
🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?
🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?
🎧 Headphones or earbuds?
🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?
🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?
🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?
🧸 Favorite place to nap?
🏳️🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?
🦋 Describe yourself in three words.
👖 Jeans or sweatpants?
🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?
🧡 A color you can’t stand?
💎 What’s your most prized possession?
☕ Coffee or tea?
🦖 Favorite extinct animal?
🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?
🌴 Desert island item?
🐸 Describe your aesthetic.
🔮 What’s your dream job?
💙 Relationship status?
🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.
🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?
🤎 What color is your hair?
💌 Do you talk to yourself?
💄 Do you wear makeup?
🌸 Best compliment you ever received?
💞 @ your favorite blog.
Reblogs are appreciated!
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Safekeeping (Part 2)
Summary: a father loses his mind over a silly little thing that Robby has to deal with, of course. Needless to say, he fucks up when you come into the picture and his judgement gets clouded.
A/N: sorry for the long wait, this is still like setting the ground lmao I'm sorry, promise things will pick up after this one.
Part 1.
Robby has always tried his best to be approachable.
The irony doesn’t pass him by. He knows what he must look like, 6’1 and sleep deprived all the time, annoyed and at the brink of yelling at the next person who comes to him with a stupid ass remark about patient satisfaction scores or vaccines being harmful or whatever the fuck conspiracy theories are spinning around lately. He would argue being approachable doesn’t equal putting up with bullshit, though.
But he tries, honest. The last thing he would want is to become one of those doctors people pray to avoid rotating with, he knows the feeling. He dreads ever seeing a patient sighing when they notice him approaching, or have a nurse press their lips together whenever they work a case with him. And he knows the job inevitably gives you nightmares, how could it not? But he hopes he doesn’t have a recurring guest role in his students’ dreams.
The hospital is overwhelmed and understaffed, the nurses are not safe, his new students have gone through the horrors since day fucking one (God, he already sounds like them). There’s no time to sit down and talk, barely time to stuff his mouth full of whatever he can get his hands on to eat, and he doesn’t really check his phone almost in the entire shift. On good days, he finds it hilarious. On bad ones, he doesn’t really get why they’re still trying, why all of them haven’t quit on the spot.
But he’s the one in charge, right? So he has to be approachable.
��Doctor Robby? Could you help me out here? The father keeps telling us he doesn’t want the vaccine to avoid the, uh, ‘tracking device created by the government’?”
He takes a deep breath. Well disposed, easy going and approachable, goddammit.
“I’ll be right there.”
Whitaker scurries off and Dana starts laughing her ass off somewhere to his left. He can’t really help it when he starts laughing too, despite covering his mouth and turning away.
At the corners of the entire ER, there are these metallic things that are supposed to serve as mirrors, circular as to give a better perspective of every place. They have cameras too, of course, but he can’t really use the CCTV system to sneak glances at the mother of the babygirl, can he?
He tries to be subtle. Stands in front of the closest with a chart and plays dumb, ignores Dana's teasing smile and Samira's weirded out looks. He finds it interesting that they don't say anything though.
He takes another deep breath and walks to the room with the conspiranoic parent, grabbing the inside of his sweatshirt for dear life.
He doesn’t quite manage to smile, but can anyone blame him?
“Good morning sir, heard we’re having some trouble here. Mind if I help out?”
He already met this man, so he has already decided he doesn’t like him. Still, he keeps his face neutral and bites back the snark and the snapping.
“You’re not getting any injections anywhere near him.”
Ah, of course, not like we already pumped him full of other shit to help with the state you brought him in.
“It would just be a vaccine, sir, nothing more.”
The man scoffs.
Robby doesn’t quite understand people, despite having a career longer than their lifespan. They had to sedate the patient- Dylan, when his father had brought him in with a deep cut that had torn his right thigh and he was so deep in a panic attack he wouldn’t answer a single question they asked, just kept sobbing and screaming while his father kept frowning at him. A piece of rusty metal had done it, after his father had taken him to a wrecking yard for a “fun time”.
Dylan is now laid in bed, with stitches going from the right side of his knee to the upper middle of his thigh. He’s barely ten.
“Yeah sure, how stupid do you think I am?” Very. “I said no.”
Robby nods, turning his head to the side in hopes of hiding the anger. “I understand your decision, but I’m sure you can understand too that we’d rather wait until his mother gets here so she can tell us as much, if she agrees with you. Ultimately, it is her decision.”
Sweet satisfaction spreads through his veins when the man seethes in front of him, clenching his hands by his sides and walking around like a caged animal. “I’m his father.”
It’s so hard for Robby to hold back the shrug, but he manages. “And we’re aware, but we also have registered that the mother has full custody of the boy. I’m sorry, but what she says goes.”
The man in front of him is big, younger than him by at least ten years. If Robby got close to him, he thinks they’d look at each other eye to eye.
That said, he thinks a simple punch would get him on the floor, in case he loses his mind. Not like he can do it though, he’s not about to lose his license over some stupid ass man that has more air than brain inside his skull.
“I could sue you for this.”
His voice rises, setting Robby on high alert in seconds. He gets his hands out of his hoodie and threads them behind his back.
“You are free to do so, sir, but we are following the law and the mother’s wishes. She set on record her consent for vaccines whenever they are required.”
He already feels frustrated by not giving it to him as soon as he arrived. It was a deep cut, deep enough that the cleaning was messy and had made Javadi turn a little pale. McKay had held the little boy’s head while it happened until he passed out, then had asked Robby for her break and ran outside, to the ambulance bay.
“You’re not getting a single fucking thing inside my boy, you hear me?”
It rings louder this time, loud enough that everything seems to quiet down outside the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dana approaching. He takes a few seconds to step back and shake his head, motioning for Mateo instead.
Relief fills him when she doesn’t protest, only to be squished as soon as he notices she turns around and goes to the room you’re in. You’re right outside, standing at the curtain with your hands shaking. Dana grabs you and pushes you inside, closing the blue cloth behind her.
Fuck.
He turns back around, rising his hands with his palms open.
“Sir, please calm down. This is a hospital, there are many other patients here that would appreciate some silence.”
It comes out harsher than he intended. The man walks closer to him, and Robby was right, they meet eye to eye.
Mateo comes inside right then.
“Should I call security?”
Some sort of stupidity must be infecting him today, cause he raises his eyebrow before he speaks. “I don’t know. Should we, sir?”
He braces for impact when the man’s face turns red.
Oh well, at least he’ll have some days off.
You looked so shaken, eyes darting around the room in search of the voice that kept yelling. He never likes to see his patients so unsettled, but God, what he had felt was something else entirely. It was almost like someone was choking him, tied down to the place he’s standing at while he was forced to take the beating.
He’ll go take a look at you right after Langdon fixes his soon to be broken nose, he decides.
“Are you out of your fucking mind, you imbecile?”
A woman comes rushing inside the room, pushing the man that was about to punch him away from Robby.
He won’t admit it to anyone, ever, but he almost cries out of relief. He really likes his nose to be intact.
“Get the fuck out.”
She’s the mother, he notices. They come to the hospital for check ups often enough that he recognises her, even if he’s just treated them once before, after Dylan threw up blood once only to discover it was just a nosebleed that had gone to his stomach.
“I’m not going anywhere, he’s my son too. Where does it say he’s only Sydney’s?”
The mother, apparently Sydney, scoffs. “By law, he is, remember? You don’t have fucking custody and I was stupid enough to allow you to see him, but not anymore. Get the fuck out before I call the cops.”
A few beats pass. Mateo looks at Robby like he has the answer for world peace right at the palm of his hands, so he sighs and gets between them.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to remind you that this is a hospital and we cannot allow you to have this type of behaviour here. If you don’t stop now, I’m gonna ask you both to leave.”
He seriously thinks he’s about to get tackled to the floor by both of them before Sydney nods and grabs the man by his arm, pulling him away. “I’m sorry, we’ll keep it quiet. Can you tell me what’s going on with Dylan?”
He nods, nodding at Mateo so he can go get McKay and Withaker. “We’ve stitched the wound and had to sedate him to do so, he was in blind panic when they arrived and made it nearly impossible for us to treat him properly. He’ll be fine, one of our doctors will explain further to you. For now, we need to get him a tetanus shot too, to prevent any infection.”
Sydney nods, ignoring the way the father glares at her. Robby’s sure he’ll end up being escorted out of the place sometime soon, but he’ll deal with it later. “He got the full scheme when he was little, if that matters.”
“Unfortunately, since the wound was dirty, we had to stitch it together, and it has been close to ten years, the booster is needed. He’ll be fine more than likely, this is just protocol.”
Once she tells him the go ahead, McKay comes inside smiling at her. Whitaker understandably looks six seconds away from jumping out of his skin.
With a warning look to both of them, he steps outside and tries his best to appear nonchalant as he nearly runs to your room.
His stomach twists in knots when he hears you sniffing inside, but he doesn’t dare go in.
He catches Dana’s soft tone talking to you in reassurance, doesn’t quite get any words but knows how she looks like, bent over by your side, rubbing your back while she holds your hand.
The baby girl is quiet now, probably taking her much needed rest after crying for so long and getting a relief from her colics. He can’t really help it when a smile blooms over his face, picturing you holding her and talking softly. You’re so pretty, but it makes him dizzy to think what you must look like when you’re loving your daughter. There’s something so soft and gentle about you, tender in a way that he didn’t believe possible in times like these. A raw, dormant part inside him wants to jump out and wrap itself around your frame, letting your arms keep the baby close to your chest while he keeps you safe inside his.
He nearly jumps to the roof when Dana steps out and finds him in the middle of the daydream. A nervous laugh bubbles out of him when she raises her eyebrow at him, but he brushes it off and clears his throat.
“So, how’s she doing?”
Dana shrugs. “Better now that you’ve shut that piece of shit up. Good job, doc.”
He preens at the praise, satisfied with helping you feel better in any way possible.
He doesn’t dare ask to go inside, afraid of shaking you further. Still, he thinks he can ride the high of having helped you until he has a chance to see you again.
He doesn’t really expect you to step outside and stare at him with wet eyes, clutching a piece of cloth-a baby’s blanket, he thinks, close to your chest. His legs feel like jelly.
“Are you okay, doctor Robby?”
Dana, that traitor, scurries off, leaving him with his mouth hanging open.
“W-well I-uhm, yes ma’am, don’t worry.” He gives you a shaky smile, so pathetic he can feel his entire face turn red. “All in a day’s work.”
You frown at him. “That’s awful.”
A stupid little nervous laugh leaves his mouth, rubbing his neck subconsciously.
“I hope it didn’t bother you too much, I try-we, we try our best to keep things as calm as possible here.”
You shake your head. And there it is again, that subtle shift between the scared woman he’s dying to take care of and this other version that seems ready to eat the world whole.
“I’m fine, it just set me off a little. It hasn’t been the easiest day today.”
He nods in understanding, wringing his hands while wrecking his brain in hopes of finding a way to keep you here, talking to him for hours and hours and eternity and then more.
“Hopefully we can keep it this way now.”
A sweet smile is gifted to him again.
“I know you’ll try your best, doctor Robby. Thank you.”
You go back inside your room, and he has to brace himself against the wall. Holy fuck.
There is no way he’ll stay with just your name and a one time meeting. He needs to figure something out before you leave, or else he’ll regret it for the rest of his life.
#dr robby#michael robby robinavitch#michael robinavitch x reader#the pitt#dr robby x reader#micheal robinavitch x reader#the pitt fanfiction#dr robby x you#dr robinavitch#michael robby robinavitch x reader
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this was a request from a kind anon.
summary: angst with comfort, reader and lads men having a misunderstanding because reader is overthinking that they’re cheating on her with the mc since they always spend time with the mc and spending less time with the reader.
xavier ver. | rafayel ver. | zayne ver. | sylus ver.
caleb x reader | angst/comfort
There was a time when Caleb used to show up with your favorite drink before you even asked.
He'd call you ''pipsqueak'', kiss your forehead, and ramble about the most bizarre cosmic theories while you curled up beside him.
Now…the only thing constant was his absence.
And MC.
-
''I'm going out with MC again today,'' he'd said casually that morning, slipping on his jacket. ''She's got some readings I wanna help her decode.''
You nodded, trying to be supportive. ''Again?''
He glanced at you. ''Yeah. We've been making progress. She's intuitive. Gets the rhythm of it.''
You gave a faint smile. ''Right.''
He leaned down, kissed your cheek quickly, and said, ''I'll be back late, but I'll text you, okay?''
But he didn't.
Again.
-
You scrolled through your messages that night, seeing blue bubble after blue bubble with no replies.
Dinner's ready if you want to swing by.
Hope the readings are going well.
Are you okay? It's getting late.
Each one unanswered.
And then your heart twisted when you checked MC's social feed. Just a short video clip of her and Caleb, both laughing as he showed her something on a holographic tablet.
He looked happy. Relaxed. Engaged.
The kind of look he used to save for you.
-
It wasn't just tonight. It had been weeks.
You told yourself it was work. That MC was a client, a partner, a hero in her own right. Of course Caleb would be focused on her.
But even when you were in the room with him lately…you still felt alone.
Like he was always looking past you. Toward someone else.
You didn't even notice your hands were trembling as you typed the message.
I need to talk. Can you come over? Please?
It took six minutes for his reply to come through.
On my way. Give me 15.
-
He arrived exactly 15 minutes later, his hair wind-tossled, coat still half-zipped, and an easy smile on his lips that immediately faded when he saw your face.
''Hey…what's wrong?'' he asked, stepping inside.
You didn't answer right away. You just stood there, looking at him, trying to figure out where the boy you fell in love with had gone.
''You and MC seem close,'' you said finally.
Caleb blinked, confused. ''I mean, yeah. We've been working side by side for a while. Why?''
You looked away. ''Are you cheating on me?''
The words cut through the room like a sharp blade.
His mouth parted slightly, stunned. ''What?''
''I need to know, Caleb. I can't keep pretending this isn't eating me alive.''
He took a slow step toward you. ''Pipsqueak…no. I would never. Where is this coming from?''
You laughed bitterly. ''From weeks of watching you give her your time, your focus, your energy. And leaving me with scraps. From seeing the way you light up around her. From missing you when you're standing right in front of me.''
His brows pulled together, the easy charm in his expression replaced by something heavier.
''Is that really how you feel?''
''I don't know how else to feel. You don't look at me the way you used to. You don't see me.''
He ran a hand through his hair. ''I didn't know it had gotten this bad.''
''That's the problem,'' you whispered. ''You're so good at reading the stars, Caleb. But you haven't been reading me.''
Silence stretched between you.
Then, in a voice low and raw, he said, ''You're right.''
You stared at him, heart pounding.
''I've been out of sync. Focused on work. On helping MC process everything she's dealing with,'' he said. ''And I thought…I thought you were okay. That we were okay.''
''Because I didn't say anything sooner?''
''Because I wanted to believe we were solid enough to weather it,'' he said. ''But I see now I've been neglecting the one thing I can't afford to lose.''
You folded your arms tightly. ''So what was it, then? Just convenience? You two work well together, so I got put on the backburner?''
He stepped forward, voice steady but filled with something deeper. ''You were never on the backburner. MC is a colleague. A friend. Someone I respect. But you…''
He stopped, looking straight into your eyes.
''You're the only person I've ever loved without fear.''
Your breath caught.
''You think I'm fearless, right?'' he said. ''The charming one. The one who always has a line ready. But you terrify me.''
''Why?''
''Because you're real,'' he said. ''Because you see through all the masks. Because when I'm with you, I'm not pretending to be the guy who always knows what he's doing. I'm me. Just Caleb.''
You swallowed hard. ''Then why didn't you show me that lately?''
''I was scared,'' he admitted. ''That I'd burn out. That I wouldn't be enough for both of you. For her mission, for your heart. So I leaned into what I knew. Work. Banter. The stuff I could control.''
You looked at him, searching for the lie.
But there wasn't one.
''I thought maybe…'' you hesitated, voice trembling, ''you were starting to feel more connected to her. Like you admired her more.''
Caleb stepped forward again, slowly this time, until he was close enough that you could feel his warmth.
''I do admire her,'' he said honestly, ''But I love you. You are not the same. You'll never be the same.''
Tears welled up, and you turned your face away.
He gently cupped your cheek, guiding your gaze back.
''I should've told you more. Made time. Asked how you were doing instead of assuming,'' he said. ''And I know an apology doesn't erase the loneliness I caused. But if you let me…I'll prove I haven't forgotten how to be yours.''
You let out a shaky breath. ''I didn't need fireworks, Caleb. I just needed you.''
His eyes softened. ''Then let me come back to you. No shields. No distractions.''
You didn't respond with words.
You just leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around you.
Letting the quiet between you finally mean something healing.
#lads#lads x reader#lads caleb#lads angst comfort#lnds#lnds caleb#lnds x reader#lnds angst comfort#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace angst comfort#caleb x reader#caleb angst comfort
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SCHOOL'S IN, ANOTHER YEAR...


she said, "that's fine, what's on your mind?"
i said "your skin."
𓂃۶ৎ psychology professor!geto suguru x student!reader. smut, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort. reader insert, alternate universe, academia au pretty much, teacher-student relationship, forbidden love trope, stupid love at first sight, porn with plot. geto is a teacher and be honest we all wanna fuck him, drug usage (recreational or not), alcohol, partying VERY immature behaviours, age difference (it is legal though!), reader in her early 20s, geto in his mid 30s, office (desk) sex, pussy eating, facesitting, blowjobs, handjobs, semi-public sex, missionary, doggy, yeah this one is freaky, breeding kink, corruption kink, eventual pregnancy, masturbation, phone sex, mutual masturbation, loss of virginity. hard university life www, "secret" crush (not secret at all..), lowercase intended. !! i do not condone irl relationships like this guysss it's power imbalance that's why it seems hot (plus it's sugu) but it can really REALLY fuck your life up!!
masterlist | chapter two
𓂃۶ৎ chapter one; school's in, another year... first day of the new semester and new experiences is here. you arrive at the university, maybe a little stressed, but mostly unbothered; that is, until some fucker doesn't bump into you and your saviour's voice is way too hot for his own fucking good.
an: this one is a little short but i'm testing stuff out!! i can't wait to write more hehehe please tell me what you think about it! also keep in mind that she's just a young lady entering adulthood, desperate for some new experiences, good or bad. that's why she'll end up making some stupid decisions and... well, i shouldn't be spoiling it now, should i? ;p ALSO IK SUKUNA IS GOOFY ASF FOR NOW bear w me </3
art creds: @/sugurusboobs and @/aliyartss on twt!!
well, fuck. you thought that high school will be your final place to meet loads of overgrown children, but apparently; you were wrong. SO wrong. hoards of new, you guessed, students running towards the door. as if the building was about to disappear. you rolled your eyes, cursing them in your mind; what could possibly get them so excited? well, that wasn't really important. you stood a little bit to the right from the door, not wanting to get injured by the crazy crowd. hey, actually - maybe they were burning someone at the stake? that's why there was a big ass group of people acting like fucking villagers with no manners? you chuckled at your idiotic theory. yes, it was stupid. yes, it provided entertainment. so it evens out.
and as you were thinking about the medieval rituals happening inside, someone bumped into you. quite harshly, might you add. you lost your balance and were about to kiss the floor, when some pair of strong hands caught you. oh, well. your first day didn't even start yet, and you already had a debt of gratitude towards someone, and you were a girl of proper manners - raised maybe a bit too harsh, but you like adapting to the rules as much as breaking them. moral, legal, ethical, social; all are simply just a bunch of bullshit that was created to "invent peace" and by the lucky side effect - enslave someone's free will. rules are necessary, but they need bending sometimes; your lifelong motto didn't really apply to this situation. the stranger didn't need to catch you, but he did, and he saved your pretty little face from getting bruised. that was nice, you thought; apparently, one of the professors who taught psychology was smoking hot. yeah, you shouldn't really look forward to getting an apparent supermodel as your teacher, but... can you blame a girl from hoping? maybe you were still a bit of a teenager at heart, maybe you really needed some dick from a hot dilf… and your sweet, sweet fantasies were interrupted by a rough, rich voice.
"are you alright?" the stranger asked, and fuck, his voice was so hot. hey, you might really be desperate to pounce on some cock… but for now, you should get up, thank the stranger and be on your way. being late on your first day of academic journey wasn't something you had planned, and would most likely want to avoid. you gently removed the big pair of well-built arms off yourself, standing up, turning and bowing low immediately.
"i am fine, thank you. i apologise for the inconvenience. i hope i did not hurt you anyhow. i must be going to class now, but know i greatly appreciate that you caught me," you muttered, a bit too formal for your actual liking. and it seems that he thought so too, because he chuckled and tsked lightly. you bowed again, not sparing him another glance and quickly walked inside to get inside your lecture hall. the masses of people disappeared, so it was safe to enter now; and as your saviour muttered some reply, you were already on your way to find in which wing does professor Geto teach.
well, little did you know he was right behind you, chuckling at your obviously fake politeness. it was quite… intriguing, seeing how people not that much younger than him behaved. zero appropriate behaviour; men just nonchalantly avoided him, with a small portion of them only bugging him to learn more about the subject. women… oh boy. he knew he was handsome - back in his own student days with Satoru, Shoko and Nanami he was the one who got the most confessions, but now? it only seemed to get worse. it was flattering, sure… but at the same time, those young women just saw him as a hot professor, nothing more and nothing less. he was sure that at least half of them had some dirty fantasies about him; it was obvious by the way they wore much inappropriate for university dresses or skirts and pressed their boobs together when talking to him. he was teasing by nature, so he usually entertained them just a bit. but if any of them tried to take it a step further, he'd lecture them about ethics of this - and there were none. in no world a teacher should get involved with a student. and you; apparently, were not like them at all. faked politeness, to the point of laughing, but politeness nonetheless. dressed appropriately and... not sparing him even a single glance. that was something new to him; a young female uninterested by him? well, he only had to hope you'll end up in his class, so he can at least get some entertainment.
and fate seemed to have smiled upon him, he thought, as he watched you enter his lecturing hall. ---
professor Geto wasn't here yet. that's fine, very fine for you actually; since you were both late, you wouldn't have any problems at the start of the semester. and as you looked to find some free spot, you noticed that… well, for starters, there were mostly women in this class. secondly, they dressed in... really revealing clothing. and you're not the one to judge - heck no, there's nothing better than putting on some slutty clothing and make some men pay you for your drinks, but it's a night activity. definitely not a morning class activity. and that amount of girls could mean that you're enrolled in the hot professor's class. the smoking hot psychology teacher could be professor Geto. well, anyway, their clothing is their choice, not yours - so you continued to search for a seat, and you found one empty next to some pink-haired bulky dude and equally built black-haired guy. well, fuck. since there were no other seats available, you came up to them, silently praying that you wouldn't have to deal with three hot men for most of your class hours.
"hi. may i sit here?" you asked, your eyes trying to grace them both with an equal amount of time. you noticed a few interesting details; the pink-haired guy had a killer stare and face tattoos, but he moved some things to the side, nodding at your question. his arms were also tattooed - god, just how old was he? and the dark-haired one...
"suure, mama," he smirked at you, making you glance at his lips, and you noticed his scar. it added some sort of... charm, to his figure. kinda sexy. just like his companion. "what's yo name, cutie?" he asked as you bowed your head, squeezing next to his manspread, trying to fit between the desk and his knees, to which he chuckled and moved his leg a little more. what a fucker. men around your age were really annoying. "it's y/n. yours? ...and yours?" you added, looking at the pink haired guy who scoffed.
"hah, you think you deserve to know--" he got brutally interrupted by the black haired guy, "he's Sukuna, 'm Toji. nice to meet you, baby," he purred, winking. well, fuck. an undeniably hot dude was flirting with you now, and his equally handsome friend was giving him the side eye. you'd surely get distracted a lot; but to be honest, did you really mind? who cares about a simple little life. you were young, you were free; so, you guessed, it's better to act wild now rather than when you're 40. you settled down between them, earning a groan from Sukuna as you unpacked you laptop, not paying much attention to the sound of class door opening and someone entering. until.. you heard a familiar voice.
"good morning, everyone. i apologise for being a bit late," the professor said, and your gaze snapped up. "i'll be your psychology teacher, i'm professor Geto," he smiled, and fuck - he looked so mesmerising. you understood now why so many women dressed the way they did just to get his attention. and his voice sounds familiar, because, well - he's the one who caught you before. you were in his arms. you were in professor Geto's arms. "fuck," you muttered under your breath, but that didn't seem to miss Toji's or Sukuna's ears.
"what?" Toji looked at you, his gaze teasing. "we're taking this class for the third time. this cruel fucker rejected our final papers…" the dark-haired man whined, looking at your professor now. "every year, there's a shit ton of ladies offering himself to him. don't tell me you're one of those girls who fawn over him?" he chuckled, and so did Sukuna; and you just blushed and stared at your new professor. but it didn't really seem you're that fortunate today - because professor Geto's gaze found yours, and oh fuck. you couldn't really look away; and you were seconds away from unbuttoning your dress. but his gaze drifted apart, and you came to your senses; stunned by your own thoughts.
damn, you really needed some dick - that was fucking obvious now. "...no. i'm not," you mumbled, focusing on starting your laptop and taking out your paper notebook. well, fuck.
the class went on smoothly, and you were actually able to focus on the subject. probably because today's one wasn't serious at all; it was something akin to introduction to psychology, and well - everything would be perfect if your newfound friends didn't whine in your ears all the time. man, they really should get a grip. if this major is too hard for them, why don't they just choose another?? well, not your place to find out - since they were studying psychology, they would surely find their answer soon. hearing the professor end his lecture, you gathered your things as quickly as you could, desperate to escape this lecture hall, desperate to escape your professor's eyes.
he glared at you so intently. you were sure it wasn't intentional, it couldn't be... judging by the looks of disappointed girlies, he took interest in no student. which was good - he was at least somewhat ethical person. but some part of you felt hurt. he wasn't interested in you now, and he shouldn't be interested in you even when you graduate. well, you should let it stay as a harmless crush then; it's nice to have a gentlemanly, handsome, really knowledgeable professor teaching your main course. you sighed, catching Toji's attention as the two of you walked out of the lecturing hall.
"wassup, mama? somethin' on your mind?" he asked, making you sigh again. "...no, not really. do we have the next class together?" you replied, wishing that they both had their next class with you. having some company would be nice; you didn't mind being alone, but hey - you were looking to get a bit loose once you enter university, and that was your great chance to do so. you weren't fond of judging people by their appearance, but both of them just looked fucking stoned. not exactly the proper people you should surround yourself with; and your parents would be more than disappointed. but hey! they weren't here, and you're an adult now, even though you don't always act like on, and your mindset is far from fitting someone entering society as a full-time member now.
"yeah, we got all classes together. cool, ain't it?" Toji put his hand on your shoulder, making you push it off and him earn a glare from you. you rolled your eyes playfully, already forgetting about being mopey because your professor fantasies would never come true. "mm, i guess. would be better if you stopped groping me, though," i muttered, picking up the pace and exiting the classroom, your two new companions just swiftly looked at each other before following you.
and little did you know - your professor's gaze never left your form.
𓂃۶ৎ taglist (open!) : @heartsteelkaynconsumer, @xxserenitysnow666xx
#jjk#jjk x reader#geto suguru#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#jjk imagines#jjk reader insert#jjk au#suguru x reader#geto x reader#jjk suguru#jjk geto#long fic#getou suguru x reader#suguru smut#geto smut#jjk smut#dihydromorphinone#jjk series
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This post really got me today because of the journey I’ve had with social media. I feel like I need to go back to the beginning when all I wanted to do was create art, write my weird screenplays and short stories.
A time when I wasn’t worried about presenting myself as perfect: something I’ve failed at continuously anyway.
A time when my love for filmmaking, my passion for the horror genre and cinema as a whole language.
I miss those days when I was in undergrad and my passion for cinema was addictive. I watched films from all different genres every single day after class (where we sat and watched films for hours).
I didn’t really care about social media at all. In fact, I started my first instagram because I wanted to network with other filmmakers to try to get a job- that was it.
Then in 2013, a really traumatic thing happened and I feel like I had a mental health breakdown. I used social media as a way to escape bc I was in a toxic living situation and had almost no one I could emotionally connect with and talk to.
Isolation, maladaptive day dreaming and misery is a dangerous thing. I started posting and ranting on twitter, posting photos of myself to impress people who were emotionally unavailable and didn’t even acknowledge my existence.
Mental health issues and social media can be a ticking time bomb if you’re not aware, medicated and have no one to hear you out or check up on you.
Eventually with life, therapy and support I am a lot better but I still struggle with social anxiety and living in real life and I used film to connect to the world.
The issue is now whether I still desire to turn my passion for film into a career; or do I just live life as cinephile while holding a 9 to 5.
Honestly, I’ve been pursuing film for 20 years; going back to my very first film theory class in undergrad until recently pursuing a dual MFA/MBA degree which completely blew up in my face.
The current school I attended was a giant clusterfuck with again: absolutely no support (this is another post in itself that I’ll talk about at another time).
I just turned 48 years old. I’m tired, currently broke and feeling defeated by life. Plus the trump administration gutting DEI certainly doesn’t intend to help Black queer women over 30 like myself.
I’m at the point I’m ready to give up. I’ve had so many setbacks, physical and mental health issues that I have to manage on a daily basis, financial issues I have to figure out how to manage (student loans😩🙄).
I just want to be an ARTIST. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Yes, I know I could paint and sculpt etc. which I actually do. However, one of my biggest dreams is to write/direct feature films. I’m actually more open to working in tv now more than ever- seems a lot more stable; but that original love of film I had is still in me.
I keep talking about the film Sinners because it brings me back to that original passion for cinema before it was perverted and bastardized by toxic people I’ve come across irl, the fucked up sociopolitical climate we’ve been in for the last decade and my own personal struggles.
I feel numb. Apathetic. Indifferent.
I pray I’ll get my cinema mojo back like Annie’s necklace that she gave Smoke. Right now I’ve lost it.
This is a long overdue come to Jesus moment. in my case with my growing practice of Yoruba spirituality returning to Olodumare.
I’ll be alright, I don’t consider myself a victim even though I’ve been victimized so much in the last 10 years by America’s horrible healthcare system because of the systemic and institutional racism festering in it; America doesn’t give a fuck about the health of Black people, our bodies and they never have- a horror movie within itself . Again, another conversation for another time.
If you’ve read this far I really appreciate you doing so. Trust me, this was a process of 10 years of frustration.
I needed to vent.
I just don’t know what my next move is. I don’t know if I want to be a film director/ screenwriter anymore maybe as a hobby but not a career. I have to be more pragmatic and practical to pay my bills like 99% of us do. I’m definitely don’t think I’m unique in my experience but being a black woman in America I experience it differently.

#im tired#needtotalkilllisten#need to talk ill listen#motivation#inspiration#life challenges#filmmaking#artist#dei#yoruba#cinema#sinners film#im really emotional#americas healthcare system#america has a problem#healthcare in America is fucking trash#black in america
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Rewatching 3x01 & 3x08 together (for fic purposes)
Spoilers for the whole season and some general spoilers for the books through, idk, I'll say Winter's Heart.
It really does feel like 3x01 set up some strong conflicts that were resolved in 3x08 -- Egwene's misgivings about Rand being about the madness as opposed to only about ~cheating~ comes across much more successfully if you only watch the first and last episodes of the season, lol.
I do personally feel like dragging Randgwene out for so long muddled the narrative that they were going for with them (from my own feelings and a sampling of what other people said -- some people picked up on them being mis-aligned but a lot of people basically attributed it all to Rand being A Bad Cheater Boyfriend, with Egwene essentially only being a passive victim instead of an active part of the relationship), because the themes that I've seen Rafe, Josha, and Maddy talk about in interviews (about Randgwene being about nostalgia and trying to keep in place a relationship that really doesn't exist anymore) feels like it comes across a lot more strongly without any of the intervening episodes between 3x01 and 3x08.
imo, 3x01 is also really the only episode where we get to see that Egwene is still ambitious, I think, and even then, it's only during her 3x01 Arches viewing (where mad!Rand tells her that she got 'what she always wanted' by becoming the Amyrlin, and so was potentially dismissed by viewers simply because it came out of Rand's mouth). And she never talks about it to anyone! It's all couched in her protecting Rand or being devoted to the Light (or protecting herself, once she realizes that there's an actual living person messing with her dreams). She never admits to any ambition in herself in s3, and she's never called out on it by anyone that the narrative tells us should be trusted on the matter (aka someone other than Rand).
What we needed was something like the scene with Elayne in early s2, where Elayne calls Egwene out on her jealousy of Nynaeve and it's obvious in Egwene's reaction that she hit on a sore spot and that Elayne is reading her accurately. Though, minor sidebar, now I kinda want to go back and see if Egwene ever admits to any faults, because it could be that that is supposed to be one of Egwene's flaws in the show -- we know from what was said in 1x07 that the pattern of the Randgwene pre-canon relationship was that if they had a fight, Rand (and only Rand) would apologize and that would 'fix' the fight, so Egwene never admitting to any faults or mistakes seems true for pre-canon Egwene; and when Randgwene 'resolve' their 1x07 fight, iirc Egwene never admits to there being any reason that Rand might doubt her devotion to Mat, a character who she has NEVER had a one-on-one conversation with on-screen and who she, in fact, did openly doubt when it came to his moral character. But it could be that I'm forgetting some lines that show!Egwene has had that would contradict this theory?
(I just went back and watched that Egwene & Elayne scene and Egwene never actually admits that Elayne was right and that she was feeling jealous; she straight-up denies it, in fact, just like she constantly denies in s3 that she's worried Rand might go mad -- it's just obvious in her reactions that what Elayne is saying is the truth. Plus it being about a friendship and not about a romance also helps un-cloud the issue, imo. As we also see in how Nynaeve gets more sympathy for wanting to 'save' Liandrin from the Shadow than Rand gets for wanting to 'save' Lanfear. So, yeah, that makes me lean towards 'this is an intentional flaw in Egwene's character' but I do feel like we needed something more in s3 to make that clear to viewers)
That is actually something that Mat could have potentially done if he'd gone into the Waste storyline the way that he does in the books -- been a contrast against/sounding board for Egwene. There's a bit of distance there, because he's one of Rand's best friends, but also a level of trust, because he's from the Two Rivers. I really do feel like we needed more of Egwene actually expressing her own feelings over the course of s3, because after 3x01, basically everything is other people telling Egwene how she feels while she either loudly denies it or looks off into the distance and says nothing. But according to the interviews, everyone else was right about Egwene's feelings and she was just in denial the whole time, but we never get anything validating that on-screen, imo. She just stays silent. So I really hope that we do get some conversations in s4 where Egwene expresses her own feelings instead of other people doing it for her.
Rewatching these two episodes so closely together also (as @markantonys recently talked about) really shows the contrast between the mad!Rand or the euphoric!Rand that we see in 3x01 vs the determined Rand that we see in 3x08, but we can also see that Egwene seems to feel like these are the same Rand, which means that she's not seeing him clearly. All that intervening space and the way that the Randfear relationship intersects with the relationship throughline makes it easier to go along with Egwene's viewpoint in 3x08, imo, and it's not as clear as it could be that she's not seeing the actual Rand who is standing in front of her but is instead seeing him through the lens of Arches!Rand who is screaming at her to bow to him. Everyone else is witnessing a prophecy coming to life, while Egwene is re-living one of her worst fears that she was forced to confront.
I feel like a conversation, or maybe more just showing us that Egwene is being affected by her visions, would have been good. Because it feels like Nynaeve's conversation about how deeply the Arches visions affects a person could be used to show that it's supposed to affecting Egwene too, even if she never talks about it but a) Elayne's visions aren't even shown on-screen and don't appear to have affected her at all and b) Nynaeve's talk sets up how her final vision in the Arches powers her own arc this season, so it's easy to mentally go "well, that's true for Nynaeve but it doesn't appear to be true for Elayne or Egwene".
So yeah, my general feeling is still that we either should have had Randgwene have their final relationship talk in 3x01 and had the rest of the season them resolving into a complex exes situation, or cut out some of the Liandrin backstory from 3x03 in order to put in some kind of Egwene scene where we can see how clearly she's seeing mad!Rand in the not-mad!Rand who is standing in front of her. Because it really feels like the way the narrative was played out disguises any issues that Egwene was bringing to the table in s3, and makes it look like the dissolution of their relationship was entirely Rand's fault. Especially since when Egwene talks about their 'relationship' to Elayne & Nynaeve, she says, "it's just as it was back home, like nothing's changed" while Rand says to Mat & Perrin, "we haven't really talked about [whether or not we're back in a relationship]" and we never get any kind of open and honest read from Egwene's perspective the entire season.
But, again, just watching 3x01 vs 3x08 does make the change in the relationship clear (even if Egwene still won't admit to Aviendha in 3x08 that they are no longer in a relationship! which is so wild to me!), and shows that Rand and Egwene have strongly conflicting points of view on how Rand needs to approach being the Dragon (especially now that Rand has fully embraced Moiraine's perspective, which contrasts sharply against Egwene's) and that this is, at this point in time, an irreconcilable difference in them that means that their relationship will never again be what it once was.
Egwene: "We could have kept you (Nynaeve) safe." vs Rand: "Safe's not possible anymore."
Egwene is trying to keep Rand 'safe' (from others? from himself?) all season but safety is not possible. But that might be what lies inside Egwene's refusal to commit to a break-up, even in 3x08? Because she believes that Rand 'needs' her in order to have the strength to pull himself back from the madness? idk she never talks about it! if that's the case, then maybe Rand not listening to her at the end of 3x08 means that she'll finally admit that they're not in a relationship anymore. We can only hope!
I do think that in the context of Egwene believing that she might need to 'stop' Rand, then her reaction to Aviendha asking if Rand ~deserves~ her strength is more interesting, because Rand's 'worthiness' is beside the point, if it's not about romance but instead potentially needing her strength to stop a 'mad!Rand' situation.
Rand absolutely is trying for a soft break-up in 3x01, though, with his assumption that Egwene is going to stay at the White Tower with Nynaeve and Mat, and she is not having any of it. And they're kinda stuck there until 3x06 though, again, it's wild that even in 3x08, Egwene will not verbally commit to no longer being in a relationship with Rand! (but Rand does, and it feels like the scene in 3x06 was clear enough to make the viewers feels that they're 'broken up enough' too, even if Egwene still won't say the words).
But by those same standards (was the 3x01 conflict resolved in 3x08?) -- it feels like Mat didn't go much of anywhere this season. He had some fan favorite scenes but the conflict that appears to be set up in his opening scenes -- not being able to help his friends because he's caught up in his own struggles -- remains the situation that he's in at the end of the season. Instead of being able to help Elayne or Nynaeve against the Black Ajah, he's caught up in his own struggles and taken out of the picture. He's struggling with memories in 3x01 and is now struggling with memories in the opposite direction in 3x08 (lost memories instead of new memories). He moved laterally but didn't actually resolve anything.
...that does line up with how Nynaeve's struggle with her block was essentially 'on hold' during s2 and then tee'd up to get knocked out in s3, so it could be that Mat was put on hold so that he can get the resolution to his current character struggle in s4 (fingers crossed for renewal, as always).
Taking Mat out of the Waste kinda feels like being put 'on hold' for Mat's own storyline but it has a MASSIVE impact on Rand's storyline.
Because everyone else who was already inclined to treat Rand like a person and also not be personally hurt by his relationship with Lanfear were already naturally leaving his plotline (Perrin, Elayne, and Nynaeve) so deliberately removing Mat -- who is the person who has been set up by the show to be the MOST sympathetic to Rand's concerns, as someone who a) has committed a similar 'crime' of abandonment that Rand did (1x06 Waygate abandonment vs 1x08 pretending to be dead), b) worried for weeks in s1 that he himself was the Dragon and was going mad, c) has already shown himself willing to support and uplift Rand (amateur therapy session in s2), d) has no reason to feel personally betrayed by Rand having feelings for Lanfear -- feeds into them wanting to play into Rand being more vulnerable to Lanfear when he's isolated.
And then that implies that bringing (some of) those people back into Rand's storyline in s4 would naturally/narratively give us a chance to get the other side of the story. Lanfear, the person who was trying to convince Rand that no one (but her) could genuinely care about him if they knew who he truly was, is now out of his life in a romantic way, and we are now free to bring back in the people who prove that she's wrong, because part of the point of s3 was to show us a Rand that would make the audience genuinely worry that he might pick Lanfear over the Light (but ultimately, I feel like the show would want to make it clear that Lanfear isn't actually correct and people are capable of loving and caring for all of who Rand is).
So it might have all been intentionally done to put us into Egwene's perspective to worry over Rand's mental state only to then bring in some characters in s4 who will be able to show us that part of that reaction was Egwene writing her own fears and worries onto Rand even though those fears aren't actually present (yet) in Rand's behavior.
It felt so significant to me that there was no Rand & Lanfear scene in the premiere and that really did play out throughout the season - Lanfear's primary dynamic this season, the one that mattered the most, was the one with Moiraine. Rand mentions Selene to Perrin and Mat -- that's the woman that he misses, the woman that he wanted. A woman who never existed. Moiraine is the one dealing with the woman who actually exists -- Lanfear. Just as it's Moiraine and Lan who deal with Lanfear in the season premiere, they are the ones who deal with her in the finale, while Rand has moved on from his ex and is dealing with things that matter more to him than holding on to a dead relationship with a cruel and manipulative woman.
The Randfear relationship is really well done on its own, but yeah I do feel like pulling the Randgwene relationship out so long kinda dilutes the power of what we see with Randfear, where Lanfear spends so long manipulating Rand and trying to convince him that no one but her can truly love him, only for Rand to go through the same realization that Lews Therin went through with her -- where she did something that accidentally revealed her cruelty and malice to him, and it make him realize the truth about her as a person. Because Egwene is mixed up in it, it gets dismissed as ~cheating~ instead of the abuse and manipulation of Rand that it is (otoh, it's entirely possible that even if Egwene weren't mixed up in it, it would still get dismissed the same way that the Mat-Tylin abusive dynamic is dismissed by some book!fans -- because some people genuinely believe that it's impossible for women to abuse men).
Randfear only have four (and a half, if you count Charn and Mierin) scenes together this season but each scene moves the story of their relationship's downfall forward in a powerful way -- we have the baseline of 3x02, which establishes that Lanfear is trying to tempt Rand and telling him that no one but her is capable of loving him because he's secretly just as awful as she is (peak abusive manipulation); we have 3x03, where Lanfear does her best to play on Rand's heartstrings and make him want to save her; we have 3x04, where Rand is given his hope that maybe Lanfear CAN be saved (and it's key that his hope comes from something that Lanfear herself had no way to manipulate); we have 3x05, where he momentarily gives in to temptation because he thinks there's a chance that 'Selene' really was a real version of Lanfear; and then we have 3x08, where Rand has learned who Lanfear really is and takes control of their relationship in order to finally end it. That is very economical and efficient storytelling! And the body language is all the Randfear scenes is just... excellently done. You can see the whole story just in the way they react to each other, without needing the words.
I will say, it feels very much like a warning sign that Moiraine and Lanfear agree that Rand's friends are 'holding him back' from 'the man that he must become' and then Rand comes around to agreeing with Moiraine (and, by extension, Lanfear) in the finale, and no longer objects to their methods (of hurting his friends to try to drive them away). Lanfear is maybe not the person that we should be agreeing with when it comes to how Rand's mental state should be handled.
That being said, the two parallel scenes of Rand and Moiraine's conversations in 3x01 vs 3x08 are very good -- we get them completely unable to connect and agree in 3x01, and when Moiraine crouches down to Rand's level, it feels like she's treating him like a child. While the 3x08 scene is both of them being willing to meet in the middle -- Moiraine admits she was wrong to try to force Rand to go to Tear, while otoh Rand has come fully to terms with the idea of embracing Moiraine's (unhealthy) policy of cutting himself off from his loved ones in order to embrace being the Dragon. And when Rand gets on her level in that second scene, it marks them seeing each other with vulnerability and mutual honesty, and they stand up together to fight their separate (yet linked) battles.
It cracks me up that Elayne gets kicked out of the ~serious conversation~ about the danger that Rand poses to the people he loves that Siuan wants to have with Egwene and Nynaeve... only to go talk to Rand and actually be the one person who has the greatest impact on him this entire season, by setting in motion his choice to go to the Aiel Waste and becoming the Car'a'carn to earn the Aiel as an army. Her advice here saves Rand's life (per what the Wise Ones told Moiraine in 3x03) and is key to him fulfilling the prophecies and the only people who know about it are her and Rand.
But that really does point out that Elayne gets left out of all of the "oh no, Rand is super-dangerous and is going to go mad" conversations that Egwene gets hammered with this season, so she's not bringing that with her everywhere she goes the way that Egwene is. But, yeah, this is another scene where Egwene has this instant denial and push-back against the idea that she might need to 'stop' Rand but apparently (from what was said in interviews and actually also the synopsis for the season that was put out) -- worrying about needing to 'stop' Rand was part of Egwene's struggle this season! I know I've mentioned it before but I really really feel like it needed some more attention and I feel like we could have sacrificed some of Liandrin's backstory in order to put a spotlight on this struggle of Egwene's.
Again, if you only watch 3x01 and 3x08 back to back, then I think that theme does come through successfully, but when you have all those intervening episodes, I feel like it gets kinda lost, especially since it's something that Egwene is never willing to admit out loud.
"Rand isn't used to having power. Command doesn't sit easily on his shoulders. But he will learn his duties and responsibilities to your people." Much like Elayne sets Rand's journey into motion, we see here that she has faith in his ability to become the Aiel's Car'a'carn. When Egwene is with Rand, she is always trying to see the boy that she once knew (the way that Lanfear is always trying to see Lews Therin? the way that Rand is trying to see Selene?), but Elayne sees the person that Rand actually is -- his challenges and his struggles included.
So I'm really hoping that we're going to see that when Elayne comes back into s4 and hopefully gets back into Rand's storyline relatively quickly -- Egwene will now be looking at Rand through the lens of mad!Rand from the Arches since she's decided he's not the boy that she used to know, while Elayne looks at him and sees the person that's really there.
Plus we see that Elayne is fully willing to wield dangerous power for the sake of the Light when she grabs the balefire rod from Jeaine and murders her with it without even the slightest bit of hesitation. So that's another place where it seems like she can understand the position that Rand is in.
There is also a very subtle and in-the-background Randlayne hug in the 3x01 goodbye scene. They definitely kept the Randlayne vibes low-key but present -- she's incredibly important to his story this season but not in a way that trips 'cheating' bells the way that his interactions with Lanfear did. The subtitles also say that Rand is telling Elayne "Thank you" here! It is VERY quiet though, because that's right when the music is kicking up. But I can hear it when I turn the sound up. So yeah, Elayne goes from saying goodbye to Aviendha right to saying goodbye to Rand.
(and the ta'veren boys goodbye hug is also very nice, even if I remain sad that pretty much all Cauthor got stripped out of one of the biggest Cauthor books in the series)
Aviendha's "My duty is to you, as yours is to your people." really does reinforce the point that Elayne made to Rand about how even if Aviendha is grumpy over Rand being the Car'a'carn, she does still stick by him. And that plays out in 3x08 as well, even though I do wish they'd actually gotten their own scene together, instead of Aviendha's single one-on-one conversation being with Egwene.
The White Tower scenes in 3x01 vs 3x08 go full-circle so hard and so painfully. That what Siuan tries to do to Liandrin here -- denounce her as a Darkfriend -- comes around on her in the end. Tried, stilled, interrogated, and executed. That was the plan for Liandrin, before her Black Ajah allies in the Hall came to rescue her. And, of course, Elaida made sure to send away Siuan's allies before moving forward with her coup.
So out of the Black Ajah that are revealed here, Liandrin is the only survivor that we see on-screen at the end of the season. We also get a foretaste of vengeful Leane here, who will see likely see in full force in s4, with that need for revenge turned against Elaida. Leane doesn't interact with Egwene in this episode, but she is there to witness Egwene repudiating Siuan's authority and leaving immediately after her Accepted Test (and so is Alviarin, who becomes Leane's counterpart at the end of the season).
We have the contrast of helpless!Nynaeve in 3x01 (because she's blocked) and then she gets unblocked in 3x08... but too late to do anything except save her own life. That's something that I've been turning over in my head. Nynaeve doesn't get to 'protect the kids'. She doesn't make it in time when Egwene needs to be saved in s2 and Egwene has to rescue herself; she isn't the one to heal Rand when he gets his dagger injury; she's not the one to save Mat's life in 3x08 even though she promises to help him in 3x01.
Maybe something about Nynaeve learning how to put on her own life vest before helping with anyone else's? I really am curious if Nynaeve is going to be able to help any of the kids in s4, now that her block is broken and she's no longer afraid of/hating her own power anymore.
#wot#the wheel of time#wheel of time#wot on prime#wot s3 spoilers#wheel of time s3 spoilers#wot 3x08 spoilers#wot book spoilers#winter's heart#i talk a lot about rand & egwene in this one#that really is the part of the season that i keep poking at lol#butterfly watches wot#wot meta#my wot meta
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Hi
I’ve noticed there’s a lot of debate about Harry’s career, and I wanted to ask what you think about it. Like, do you think he’s actually fully free when it comes to his career?
It seems like he’s gained a lot of creative freedom, and he’s pretty close to the CEO of Sony Music.
I get that at his level, there’s usually more control over artists, but it kind of looks like he’s managed to carve out some real freedom.
hey! oh my gosh anon, thank you for asking this in such a kind and respectful way. seriously. i’ve had this question come in before, but often phrased in ways that are really dismissive or degrading toward harry, and i try to avoid engaging with anything that tears them down for my own peace of mind. so i really appreciate the tone you brought to this ♥
there are definitely some great takes floating around from other blogs, but i’m happy to throw in my two cents too!
so — do i think harry is completely free in his career now?
short answer: no, not completely. but i do think he’s carved out a lot more freedom than he had in the past, especially creatively.
longer answer below if you're up for a read 👇
📄contract stuff 📄
when harry was 16, he was handed the same standard x-factor contract as the other contestants — and likely wasn’t allowed to seek outside opinion before signing. those contracts would’ve included clauses about not revealing anything that happened behind the scenes, letting the show dictate how their image and likeness are used, and (this one’s actually been confirmed by other contestants) never disparaging simon cowell. several former contestants have said they’re still under those NDAs — so at least parts of that original contract are probably still in effect.
and that’s just the beginning.
after x factor, 1d signed a recording contract with syco/sony (december 2010) for five albums and a set number of years. they fulfilled the album count, yes — but we don’t know what other clauses were baked into that deal. i’ve seen theories (and i tend to agree) that if three or more members are seen collaborating or photographed together, it can still trigger the 1D brand — which could reactivate image management clauses. and from what we know, syco/sony may still own their masters, unless that changed when the business entity was sold to universal in 2020 (though that didn’t seem to include the catalog).
they also renewed that contract in 2013, which again — no one outside their teams has seen the terms or end date. and then there's the US contract with columbia/sony (signed in 2011), which would’ve come with its own image rights clauses and restrictions.
now — harry himself has said that the first contract he saw without a “cleanliness clause” (sometimes called a morality clause) was his first solo deal with columbia. that tells us that every previous contract — from x factor to 1d — likely included one. and those clauses are serious. they’re basically designed to let the label (or management) protect their investment by controlling anything that might be seen as “damaging” to the artist’s public image or marketability.
if the artist breaks a clause — even unintentionally — the consequences can be massive: they can lose their deal, be forced to pay back everything that’s been invested in them (studio time, promo, tour costs), and in some cases even be sued for future losses — meaning the label can estimate what they would have made off you and demand that too.
so when people ask “why would they closet him?” — the answer is: because under a cleanliness clause, being openly gay could absolutely be labeled as ‘unsavory’ or ‘damaging’, especially in an industry built on selling a fantasy to teenage girls. back then, harry’s entire commercial value (to them) was tied to how desirable he was to a young, straight female audience. coming out — or even being perceived as queer — could have been framed as a threat to his marketability, and therefore a violation of the contract.
and we’re not talking small stakes — we’re talking about millions of dollars riding on his “image.” at that age, with that kind of power imbalance, it wouldn’t have been framed to him as a choice. it would’ve been: this is what you signed. this is the deal. this is how it works.
and just to expose myself a little — i’m actually really familiar with clauses like that. i’ve written them, i’ve signed them, i’ve seen them broken. they’re not just used in music — they show up in any industry where someone’s public image is monetized. are they outdated and kind of gross? yeah. but from a corporate risk perspective, they’re considered “standard.”
to give a non-music example: if J.K. Rowling had been under contract for five more books when she started making horrific comments about trans people, her publisher could’ve dropped her and sued her for all the money they lost out on because of her public behavior. so — yeah. sometimes those clauses are used to protect people, but they can also be used to control them.
🌟 current day 🌟
based on what little we know, i personally believe that harry fulfilled his first solo contract — which i think was for three albums (HS1, Fine Line, Harry’s House). that deal may have been better than what he had before, but he was still just starting out as a solo artist. he probably didn’t have the leverage (or confidence) yet to push for a deal that was completely in his favor. the label was taking a risk on him — he could’ve flopped. and i think he knew that too. none of the industry people could’ve predicted just how massive he’d become. (okay, we could’ve, but still.)
and here’s where i’ll expose another opinion: i fully believe that part of that solo deal — or jeff’s strategy — was to intentionally distance harry from the 1D brand, and from all the members. not because he doesn’t care about them, but because the narrative around him needed to be “solo star harry styles,” not “harry from one direction.”
that’s why we didn’t see him publicly with any of them for years. remember when he went to louis’ xfactor performance in 2016? there was a photo of him with steve aoki. and then a separate photo of louis, liam, and niall with steve. but no photo of all of them together. no photo of harry with any of them (the closest we got was in AOTV - and everyone says "thank you Louis"). that’s not a coincidence.
even if i didn’t believe in larry (which i do), i’d still believe that the public friendships within the band were intentionally regulated for years. not because they weren’t real, but because they weren’t allowed to be seen.
🌈 freedom, but with limits 🌈
i also have a little (okay, a lot) of suspicion that part of the break harry was on was being used to renegotiate whatever his contract looks like now. but it's too early to see any of the effects of that.
to me, he’s as open as he can be — with the original restrictions still in place.
i don’t believe he can confirm his sexuality. i don’t believe he can say he was closeted. i don’t believe any of them can tell us the full truth about how bad things were — or what really happened behind the scenes.
he has signifigant control over his music. he has some control over his image. and he has more say now than he ever did before. but he’s still walking a very careful line, and i think that’s why he’s known for only doing interviews with pre-approved questions. not because he’s trying to be mysterious and "diva" about it — but because he literally can’t afford to say the wrong thing.
there’s a constant push and pull with his public image. and honestly? i think he’s handling it with a lot of grace.
💬 final thoughts 💬
i really, really hope that someday he (and the others) can be more open. and i think he hopes that too, based on the way he changes lyrics live (golden, 2022, coachella. "i'm hoping someday i can be open") and the quiet ways he pushes boundaries.
but for now? no — i don’t think harry is as free as people assume he is. he has more freedom than he used to, but he’s still navigating a system that was built to control him.
and while i’m here — neither is jade (even if she’s running a simon hate campaign in her music - the illusion of freedom is there for her without actually confirming anything), and definitely not louis (who has signed even more contracts with syco/simon even after the band). or the rest of them, really. they’re all still carrying the weight of the contracts they signed when they were teens, and the machine that came with it.
there are people trying to fix that — former contestants, people who were mistreated by simon, by itv, by x factor. but so far, no real structural change seems to have happened.
thanks again for the thoughtful ask, anon 🫶
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Couldn't think of a name for this one
Crowe x reader, fluff, oneshot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crowe loves your voice.
Really, he does. Listening to you speak is like listening to calming music. Your rambles help him focus and relax.
He sits in the library with you, his chin resting in his palm as he stares at you. Azure eyes scan your every feature. He lets out little hums of acknowledgement, letting every little word you say have it's own little spot in his brain.
Sometimes he gets so caught up in listening and staring, you almost swear he is zoned out. Somehow he isn't. "Are you listening?" You ask, waving your hand infront of his face. He laughs, his nose crinkling a bit. "Of course I am." He reassures, gently grabbing your wrist and playfully pushing it away from his face. Not that he minded the close proximity.
"You were telling me about the book you're reading." He states, pointing at the book in your lap. It's a whodunnit. You're rambling about your theories on who the murderer could be. "You know, Crowe," you begin, "the detective in this book reminds me of you." Crowe raises a brow.
"Really? How so?" He tilts his head, setting both arms on the table before leaning forward with interest. You smile open up your notebook, showing a doodle of what the detective looks like in your mind. "In the book he's intelligent, and really kind, even if he suspects someone." You say, unable to find the right words. "It's just the way he carries himself in the book. It makes me think of you, y'know?"
Crowe's smile widens, a small tint of pink kissing his cheeks. "I'm flattered you think of me that way." He speaks again, his voice quieter now, “If I’m anything like him, I hope I make people feel safe too.”
You blink, surprised by the sudden honesty in his tone. “You do,” you say, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “At least… you make me feel that way.”
Crowe freezes for a second. Not in a bad way—more like he’s processing, like your words are another puzzle piece clicking into place. He lets out a soft laugh, more breath than sound. “That’s… really nice to hear.”
You smile down at your notebook, “Well. Just being honest.” There’s a beat of silence, comfortable and warm. Then Crowe shifts a little closer, resting his arms back on the table. His sleeve brushes yours.
“Then I’ll stay right here,” he says, almost like a promise. “I'll keep listening. If you’ll let me.”
You glance up, meeting his eyes. They’re soft, calm, like still water. You nod, a little smile tugging at your lips. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
And just like that, the conversation melts back into your rambling theories and quiet laughter. Crowe listens, like always—every word settling somewhere safe between you both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was a request for @dumbest-dishsoap
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Hiii !!!! I love your hcs sooo could you maybe do how the boys would show you a song they've written about you ? :3
𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖
꒰ pairing ꒱ paul mccartney x reader, john lennon x reader, george harrison x reader, ringo starr x reader
꒰ note ꒱ hi!! love!! thank you so much!! this idea is so cute and just perfect... they were all sensitive and passionate in their own ways when it came to songwriting hehe
꒰ JOHN ꒱
“It’s nothin’, just a little tune. You’ll like it. I know you will.”
John is cocky about it in theory.
He talks a big game for hours beforehand.
But when it comes time to actually show you, he gets… weird.
He makes you sit on the sofa, then paces around the room, guitar in hand, trying to find the least awkward way to start.
“It’s not finished, right?"
(It is finished. He’s been tweaking it for weeks.)
Then, he starts playing. And every word is so undeniably about you. Not subtle at all.
It’s got little things only you two know about.
He sings with this tight-lipped grin like he’s trying not to look too pleased with himself.
When it’s over, he barely looks at you. “Well? S’alright, innit?”
But he does sneak a glance from the corner of his eye, and the moment you smile, that’s when he breaks.
“Knew you’d like it,” he says, grinning wide now.
“Catchy, right? Might put it on the next record. Whole world’s gonna know how much I fancy you.”
꒰ PAUL ꒱
“Close your eyes, love, I want you to hear it like the world would.”
Paul adores writing for you.
You inspire him constantly!
Little melodies, turns of phrase, half-songs humming in his head while you wash the dishes or laugh at his awful jokes.
He’s very showy when he reveals it.
He dims the lights.
Sets the mood.
He's very dramatic.
Sits at the piano and gives you a wink.
“Right then, this one’s got you all over it.”
He watches your face the entire time, waiting for your reaction.
“You like it?” he asks, breathless, still playing the last chord.
You nod, stunned.
He leans over, resting his forehead against yours. “Good. ‘Cause I meant every bit of it.”
꒰ GEORGE ꒱
“It’s... just something I had floating around. Don’t laugh, alright?”
George doesn’t say much when he gives it to you.
He’s a bit shy about it, quietly earnest, his heart hidden in metaphors and strings.
He acts like it’s nothing:
“Just a little idea. Doesn’t even have a proper bridge yet.”
But when he starts to play it, soft fingerpicking, gentle vocals, it’s obvious it’s about you.
In the way he describes warmth, peace, belonging. I
t’s not flashy. It’s real!!
He doesn’t name you, but he doesn’t need to.
It’s in every note.
When it’s over, he just kind of shrugs, eyes down.
“Could be better, I guess.”
You tell him it’s perfect.
He smiles.
Not big, just a quiet lift at the corner of his mouth.
꒰ RINGO ꒱
“It’s a bit silly, but it’s got you in it, so that makes it gold.”
Ringo’s song for you is adorable.
It’s bouncy, sweet, and full of little in-jokes no one else would catch.
He doesn’t make a big deal out of it.
The lyrics are so you, your weird habits, the way you snort when you laugh, how you always steal the covers.
And yet somehow it’s the cutest love song you’ve ever heard.
You’re laughing before it’s even halfway through.
“See?” he says proudly. “Told you it’d make you smile.”
It’s pretty much a scrapbook in melody.
Every detail says: I see you. I love all of it.
But when you hug him afterward, he goes all pink. “Y’really liked it, then?”
“You wrote me a song, Ringo.”
taglist: @sharksausages, @wavvytin, @wimpyvamps, @finallyforgotten, @lennongirlieee, @silly-lil-lee
#the beatles#the beatles fanfic#the beatles x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#beatles x reader#beatles#john lennon#paul mccartney#ringo starr#george harrison#john lennon fanfic#john lennon imagines#paul mccartney x reader#paul mccartney imagines#paul mccartney oneshot#paul mccartney fanfic#john lennon x reader#ringo starr imagines#ringo starr x reader#george harrison x reader#george harrison imagines#headcanons#beatles headcanons
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Forgotten (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
Escaping Hydra will never be easy, but when you can transverse time, its a little easier. I had been taken at the age 11 and since then they have been 'preparing' me for whatever their plans are, but I was going to escape now. I learned quick to not show Hydra the true extent of my powers as they came about, learning about them more where the cameras couldn't see, feeling all the changes in my mind. I knew what I was capable of better then they did, but I think some of the doctors had noticed this by now. I don't ask questions, I don't complain, scream, cry. Not anymore. I observed, listening to their theories about what the new serum may do to me, and I use that to figure it out which theories are true before they can.
They wiped my memory every few weeks, but it never seems to work right, just fragmenting my memories rather then removing them. Scattering my mind until its a jumbled mess. The only few pieces I could make out were overwhelming. Green forests, bright blue skies, tall glass buildings reflecting the sun, it was all so different then then cold and grey all around me now. Now things felt dead, no green, no life but the cruel doctors and scientists that did what they wanted to me. Well, there was one other who wasn't entirely cruel. He was cold, and quiet; no emotion to him but he was never cruel to me. I called him winter, because out of everything Ive heard from them, Winter was the closest thing to a name he had in here. Winter Soldier, they said. They had me help clean him up a lot after they.. did what they wished with him. I was scared at first, but seeing someone hurt and in pain was hard for me to watch, so I helped.
I couldn't do much, but he'd often be laying nearly lifeless when they had me help, so I did what I could. They gave me a bucket of water, a cloth and some very basic first aid kit supplies, stitching any wounds, washing off any dirt before I'd just set his head in my lap and hum to him softly, trying to distract him from the pain if I could. I never got to stay long, they always dragged him away to do more to him, every time I'd try holding him back, knowing how weak he was, but they'd shock me with a taser stick as if I was mere cattle every time. All I knew was his empty dark eyes and that metal arm he had. I always tried asking him something simple when I saw him, normally asking who he was or if he was in any pain, even though I knew that answer. I never got an verbal answer, he just stared at me. To be honestly, I didn't even think he spoke English.
Now though, I supposed he'd have to do without me. I was currently sneaking around, reversing time at any minor mistake I made, all in efforts to get out. I made myself smaller to crawl through the vents, finally finding what I thought was an exiting one, falling through only to find myself in an old hallway, a single door with a sliding view spot all i could see for a while. Looking inside I saw the same man stood in a chamber, almost like he was sleeping. I looked around and grimaced before looking back to him.
"Psst.." I whispered, trying to get his attention. if I'm leaving, the least I can do is say goodbye. He didn't move and I sighed, grabbing into the view spot and letting myself shrink until I could slip inside the room, standing on the viewing hole. I jumped down, letting myself unshrink as I slowly and cautiously walked towards him. "Hello?" I asked softly, his eyes finally opening slowly as his gaze landed on me, causing a wave of anxiety to suddenly fill me, unsure what to do next.
"I.." I started, looking down before sighing and looking him firmly in the eye. "I'm leaving." I said firmly, watching as his expression didn't change before his eyes squinted ever so slightly.
"Why tell me?" He asked making me pause, unsure how to answer him before I looked him over. He was in old, worn and tattered clothes, his hair had definitely seen better days, all oily and clumping together. I didn't even realize as I stepped closer.
"I know you won't remember, but they've had me take care of you when you needed it.." I said softly, looking down. "I figured if I'm leaving.. I should say goodbye.. since I can't bring you with me." I said, kicking my feet a little, hearing the alarms finally start up as Hydra finally realized my escape. He looked at me for a moment before his brows furrowed.
"Do I know you?" He asked and I smiled a little and shook my head.
"I don't think so, but we have met before." I said, a small, dry laugh coming from my lips. "Granted, you were always close to passing out." I mused, though his face wasn't amused, but it did seem less stoic. I let my smile drop, looking back at the door as I heard the sound of guards in the far distance.
"I just.." I turned back to face him with a sad smile on my face. "I just hope you can escape one day too.." I said, his face unreadable.
"I hope you know that you aren't the thing they made you." I said, taking a step closer and leaning close to his face. "You do not deserve what they do to you. None of us do." I said, putting my hands on the side of his face slowly, his metal arm twitched but stayed down as I placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
"I hope I see you again one day." I whispered as I looked at him softly with a small smile, his dark eyes seeming slightly less emotionless as they stared up at me. "Even if you don't remember me next time, I just hope you see me as a friend." I said as I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. I backed away from the soldier and grabbed the viewing window, shrinking myself as his eyes watched me carefully. "I'll miss you." I said to him before waving as I jumped out, sizing myself to full again, the soldier watching me intently from the viewing window he could still see through. I turned to see guards running towards me making me grin. I guess its really time to leave.
I looked at the soldier in the room one last time before turning and running, slowing time as I ran faster then the guards, following all the exit signs ad bursting out of one of the back entrances, feeling the sun on my skin for the first time in at least 8 years. I didn't stop running though. I ran and ran and ran until my feet bled, the snowy ground helping sooth the pain as I kept on going until I reached a nearby city, finding a police officer and crying I had been kidnapped. He looked petrified as he listened to me, taking me to the station as I cried from relief. It was obvious by the various cuts and bruises on me that I had just escaped somewhere, and after explaining what happened to the deputy, it wasn't long before I was on a plane to New York City. I had never been to America before, but I could feel my terror turn to excitement the closer we got, the feeling of freedom settling in my bones as I looked everywhere. It was so bright, so colorful, so amazing! I felt like I was breathing for the first time in forever. I didn't even notice when I fell asleep on the flight, my energy from the day exhausting me. I never wanted to fight again. I never wanted to be a weapon again, and I'd make sure I wasn't.
-------------------
That was a year ago. Now, I was 20, living with the Captain America himself with my king german shepard, Bub. I was staying with him until Fury deemed me safe living on my own. It was a long time to get here, but I did it with the help of two new friends. Nick Fury and Steve Rogers. Nick helped get me aid to deal with what Hydra had done to me, helping me find a place in the world again as Steve helped me adjust and navigate my newfound freedom and adulthood. At least, as much as he could given the fact he was also still getting used to a lot of things too. Right now though he and I were training in the gym. Fury had given me a secluded area to train after I disclosed to him that I had more power then what hydra knew about, though it was for my own personal training only so Steve could not be there. I don't even think he knows about it to be honest. Fury was adamant I only use the ones they know until needed. Time manipulation can be dangerous, not that I needed that reminder, and is a very powerful ability. One he wanted to keep as secret as possible, which is how it ended up with him having direct communication with me in regards to my powers and everything else. All discussions happening with the utmost discretion.
I blocked a punch from the Captain, going to kick him before he caught my leg, flipping me as I landed on my feet a few feet away, getting up and running at him before I shrunk myself a little and slid through his open legs and stood up very quick as I resized myself to normal, slowing time for myself to make my actions faster. I gave a roundhouse kick which he narrowly dodged and I backflipped away from him, he threw a weight at me which I caught as I supersized myself a bit, tossing it aside when I grinned, turning super small and speeding myself up as I ran around him lightning fast, managing to get him to trip up onto the ground before I sized myself up a lot and held him down with a single hand.
"I win." I grinned as he huffed and looked up at me with a small scoff.
"This is cheating." He said as i laughed, shrinking myself to normal before helping Steve up.
"Aren't you here to help me test my abilities?" I asked him, him giving a small laugh as he stood up, dusting his hands off.
"I thought I was, but it feels more like Fury just wants to see how many times you can kick my ass." He said making me smile sheepishly.
"Cant say Hydra didn't do well on me. Even if they didnt know what Id actually be capable of doing before hand." I said with a shrug, he shook his head and nodded to the door.
"Time for a break?" He asked and I nodded eagerly.
"And food." I said, he gave a laugh as I skipped over to the door. "Freedom!" I cheered as I pushed the doors open, Steve laughed at me and followed beside me, his face showing amusement as I glanced at him.
"You know, its kind of strange how Hydra never used you for missions." He said, looking at me with his eyebrows raised slightly. "You'd think your abilities would make you an assent for them to use." He said as I shrugged, looking down at my feet with a neutral face. I would talk to Steve the most about Hydra, about the man I would help, how they wouldn't send me on missions, how they always tried keeping me in perfect health, even if they'd give physical punishments.
"I don't know. I think I had heard them saying a part of me wasn't ready yet. That they had to wait for the right time to do what they wanted." I said with a sigh, lacing my fingers behind my head as we entered the elevator. "They'd also give me medication every day, but i never knew what it was. The doctors when I got here said everything was normal though, they were even surprised at my lack of vitamin deficiency from being in captivity for so long." I said, his frows furrowing.
"So they were just giving you vitamins? Sounds kind of ineffective for creative a super soldier." He said making me hum, nodding as i sighed.
"I don't know what they were, all I know is that I'm out of there and never have to be in that place again." I said as he nodded, understanding what i was saying. "Just wish they didn't scramble my head so much while I was there." I sighed as my arms dropped to my sides. He gave me a sympathetic look and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"We'll figure it out." He said as I smiled in thanks, knowing he was trying to help as much as he could for me. We walked to through the building, passing a conference room which had Natasha and Fury in there, he raised a hand to stop us before we walked passed. He sighed and I chuckled, opening the door for him now as he reluctantly entered the room, myself right behind him.
"I've got a mission for you Rogers." Fury said as the door closed behind us. I sighed and rolled my eyes, turning around.
"Okay, Ill leave." I said, already knowing this didn't involve me if i wasn't on the mission.
"Hold it, Agent L." He said, my body freezing as I turned around, slightly hopeful I may actually get to participate. "Just because you are not active in this mission does not mean you will not be debriefed on it." He said, surprising me. Not exactly what I wanted, but that's okay. Progress! I stepped back inside, Fury blacking out the windows as we all took seats.
"Now, this goes without saying, but Ill repeat myself still. This is confidential information that does not leave your mouth after you leave this room unless told otherwise. Understood?" He asked and we all nodded, Natasha and I exchanging friendly smiles before Fury delved into the details.
#bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#captain america#winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#bucky x you#steve rogers#original character#xoc#mutant oc#captain america winter soldier#the winter soldier
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Hero, Villain God 72
(Prev) (Next) (First)
*Pearl's pov*
You end up leading Grian to one of the more secluded areas of the park, under a big willow tree. You might have the ability to hide whatever you say from others but it's always an extra risk.
Having this conversation right now is not what you wanted to do today, at the same time if you were to run from him Grian would never take you seriously again. Not that he does anyway.
"So...nice garden..."
You look back to him. Small talk? Really? At a time like this?
"It's city property, not mine. Appreciate the solarpunk aesthetic it has going on."
"I have no idea what that is."
"You wouldn't... Now mate, I thought you wanted an explanation."
"I do, you just went silent. Felt akward."
"Don't pretend you did it for my sake mate"
"Now, we both know I would never."
Right. Sure. You sigh, you aren't exactly ready for this conversation.
"As you know me Scott amd Cleo have been roomates for a while. You can probably guess that livong together Scott involved me in my fair share of his ...theories. And at least at first I helped him."
"At first?"
"I'm getting there, don't rush me."
"Ok ok, I'm sorry"
He better be but, knowing him, he really isn't.
"You aren't. Anyway, you know me Grian, you know me enough to tell that it didn't take long for us to find out the truth. At the time it was actually pretty hard to connect the dota since Sheriff was still mostly out of public eye but we still found enough."
Grian inclines his head, you have to look away from his eyes...they are unsettling like this... after a while.
"And it went wrong?"
"It wasn't immediate, just more theories but... He started to spiral."
"Betrayal?"
"It's not that easy, the Jimmy he was going to marry wouldn't leave and his sister was even less likely to. That's what he claimws at least. So if the govermnent could control them so easily, what else could it do? One thing Scott hates is not being in control."
"So you mind controlled him yourself? Wow, guess he wasn't paranoid enough."
"It wasn't just him completely, stuff happened, Scarlet took over for a while, then there was a whole thing with powdered snow-"
"-What-"
"Don't question it... It ended with Scott almost blowing himself up. So I purged their memories of the whole thing and made sure it wouldn't happen again. Scott finding out the truth was part of it, It was what started it in the first place, so I made sure it wouldn't happen again."
Grian claps his hands in a slow applause, you don't appreciate sarcasm.
"Trough mind control? I remember someone here saying something about not messing with their friends mind before."
This is totally different, doesn't he see that?
"It was an emergency...and It's like not even full mind control, just strong suggestion."
"Ah yes, completely different."
You can't deal with him like this, he's purposely trying to bait you at this point. That or he's extremely oblivious.
"It is. His choices are still his."
"Are they? If he makes them on incorrect knowledge?. . . Manipulated knowledge?"
He did not just say that.
"I wonder how many times i can tell him before it falls apart and he breaks."
Nevermind what he said earlier, what does he think he's accomplishing?
"I would love to see a repeat of that powdered snow thing you were talking about"
You grab him by the hem of his sweater before you can even think about it. It stings, you really thought he was starting to understand.
"You won't."
You continue to hold him up...he doesn't seem particularly bothered.
"Are you going to stop me if I try?"
This-
"I will not let you mess this up, you think that you are so powerful and all but I will stop you."
"... There's a reason you called the groupchat "winners" when nobody here won anything, there's a reason this select group of gods and mortals are so interconnected with eachother. There's a reason that BigB guy asked me about cookies. Why you called it powdered snow and not snow. You see it don't you?"
You harshly drop him onto the floor and step away, you told him what you needed to tell him anyway.
"I will stop you If I must".
His face shifts.
"Hypocrisy doesn't look good on you-"
You punch him in the face, It's very cathartic.
"Shut up."
"... Fine, I guess I was pushing a bit far"
"You were"
You turn to leave, to walk away from him but you feel a force stopping you.
"Wait-"
You turn towards him once more with a raised brow, what does he wants now? His expression is completely different now, almost thoughtful.
"What?"
"Are you ever going to let him know the truth?"
Ah. Well, you won't tell him everything but...
"I will. I just need to deal with some of the hero association's ...dealings first. I have a feeling he won't fall apart then."
You turn again and this time you walk away.
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Ben Pincus:How he and his paranoia are portayed in Chaos Theory, from the viewpoint of someone with paranoia.
Ben and his paranoia has both pros and cons in CC/CT, in this I will be focusing more on CT, but I will be comparing it TO how it was handled in CC to highlight certain points. I'm going to try to separate this into specific points so I don't ramble but also, it's me, I'm gonna ramble, lmao.
So to split this up, little table of contents:
-The PROS of Ben's paranoia
-Ben's paranoia in CC vs CT
-The Class Clown-ism of Ben's paranoia
-Ben's Trauma and how it affects his Paranoia
-How other Characters treat Ben's paranoia
(Those last three are all gonna overlap lmao)
Okay so to start, just so this doesn't feel like a total Hater™️ post, I will give the pros of Ben's paranoia in CT. As someone who does have major paranoia, I do appreciate seeing rep in media, it's pretty few and far between when it comes to characters who actually HAVE paranoia vs characters who just experience paranoia once or twice, so I appreciate when it is done. The basis of CT literally stems from Ben's paranoia, if it weren't for him deep diving DJR and getting those messages, the camp fam would be Atrocikibble, and CT wouldn't have happened. His paranoia plays a major part in the show no matter how you look at it, and I do appreciate that it's done in a way that you really cannot erase his paranoia, sure, you could say he was right and therefore “it's not paranoia” but also, no you cannot, lmao. Yes he was correct in the long run, but that doesn't negate the fact that all of his fears STEMMED from his paranoia, the way he handles things STEMS from paranoia, Ben very clearly HAS PARANOIA and has since day one. One moment in CT I really appreciate is in s1 ep2, specifically the scene where he and Darius have that conversation about his fears and how he immediately assumed Mo was after them. The line “Don't you think I want to? But I can't!” Really got me in a slash pos way, having paranoia is a lot of knowing the things you're afraid of aren't worth the fear, it's wanting to stay calm, whether the situation you're in is GENUINELY dangerous or just a manifestation of your paranoia, but being unable to control it because no matter how times you or anyone around you tells you that you're okay or what you're afraid of isn't real, your brain will STILL be convinced that YOU ARE IN GRAVE DANGER or SOMETHING is going to go wrong, and I appreciate how that was shown in that scene.
Now, the unfortunate part of this, the cons, which is what most of this post will be.
To start, let's compare how it was handled in CC vs CT. Imo, CC Ben's paranoia was taken SO much more seriously, not even in the sense of the class clown-isms, which I will get into later, but in the way it was actually written. In CC, yes, Ben's paranoia is poked at, especially by Kenji lbr, but it's realistic, it's other teenage kids being shitty, and that happens irl, a lot. HOWEVER. As the camp fam gets closer, as they experience these traumas together, they learn to take his paranoia more seriously, as does the actual plot. The dude went from heavily sheltered to being thrown into an INCREDIBLY dangerous situation, got torn out of a moving monorail which lead to him nearly FALLING TO HIS DEATH, and then on top of all that, had to survive assumably around a month alone as someone with, lbr, next to no survival skills. When he came back, yes he was different, he was “tough” and not that paranoid little dude from s1, HOWEVER AGAIN, you do see multiple moments where his paranoia shines through, the entire plotline of him wanting to stay on the island was a major part of that, to him, the island was—ironically—a safe place, not only because he found himself there, found a way to escape his paranoia, but because he wasn't being constantly invalidated for having those fears. Ben was ALLOWED to be afraid on the island, and while I could be reading into it too hard, that feels like one of the reasons Nublar specifically was a safe space, aside from the typical self exploration plotline. Then in s4, you have the plotline on MC, where Ben's masking starts to falter, because that's what the Jungle Boy™️ personality is/was, a mask, that paranoia comes back now that he's been taken from his safe space, he doesn't know how this island works, he's not knowledgeable on it the way he was with Nublar, he's lost the control he had on Nublar, and that allows the paranoia to take that control back. The other's see that, clearly, esp Darius (which I will get into, once again) and they take it seriously, they help him, they don't belittle him for it, because they understand. His paranoia is handled through the entirety of the show, it shows itself both in large bouts and little trickles throughout the plotline, which is realistic to paranoia, it doesn't ALWAYS show itself but it's always there. Plus, CC takes it seriously, yes they crack a few jokes here and there, but its a kids show, they've gotta, fuck they crack jokes about Kenji's abusive father nothings going without a crack being made, but even with the cracks, it's not made out to be a joke.
That leads into the Class Clown-isms of CT Ben's paranoia. While there are parts of CT that takes Ben's paranoia seriously, like in ep2, so many scenes that involve Ben's paranoia are turned into the butt of the joke. The entirety of s1 leans off the “We're being hunted!” Gag, which sure, in itself is funny, but when its repeated over and over again, and even being played as a joke after they know they are. Quite literally. Being hunted. Kinda feels off to me. One part in s1 that stands out to me is the “Your favourite” line, yes on surface level, it is just a haha funny dark joke between friends, but at the same time its one of the lines that really shows to me just how— unseriously? They take Ben and his trauma. We need to remember, Ben wasn't just flocked by pteranodons at some point where he got a lil scratch or something like that, after finally being brave and facing his paranoia, he was RIPPED OUT of a MOVING MONORAIL that was multiple metres off the ground, TOSSED AROUND by those pteranodons, in which he thought he was about to become their FOOD, before being dropped, where he probably thought he was going to fall to his death, mind you, HE NEARLY FELL TO HIS DEATH. Not to trauma olympics the camp fan, but arguably, that event in itself puts Ben pretty far near the top for most traumatized in the group, and that's not even taking the month he spent alone on murder lizard island into consideration. From the looks of things, Yaz is the only one who really got therapy, yes Ben helped Mae on MC, but that doesn't count as actual therapy. So let's take this dude, with major trauma, on top of already there major paranoia, with zero therapy, and suddenly he's just— totally unphased? It'd be one thing if it was just that one off joke, but they do it again in s3, when he gets dragged by the Dimorphodon. No he wasn't getting flung around like in CC, but you mean to tell me that wouldn't be a little triggering? I mean, in CC he has the tablet run in with the pteranodons and the way his panic attack is handled and shown is SO well done to me, down to the little details like the way his hand trembles when he hears them calling, but in CT he's just gonna make a little joke to Davi like “haha yeah man getting dragged by carnivorous flying reptiles amirite?” WHAT. They make SO many cracks at the monorail incident but NEVER address it in a serious manor, even the joke about the pteranodon stealing a freshmans backpack was a crack at it. While the other characters’ traumas are taken seriously, Yaz’ ptsd, Sammy's family issues, Kenji's— life, Brooklynn's arm and near death experience, and Darius finding Brooklynn, well what was left of her, Ben's traumas are always played down to a joke. Any time Ben experiences negative emotions it's played down to a joke. Look at the panic attack in s2, my guys was very clearly tweaking out, but the only one who noticed anything was legitimately wrong was Yaz, while the others made.. potty jokes? Okay.
On that note, the way the characters treat Ben's paranoia is another things that's changed so heavily since CC in an UNBELIEVABLE way. Sure, you could say “oh 6 years dif!” time doesn't change that your supposed best friend has a debilitating mental illness that should be taken seriously, but okay. Imo, a lot of the character writing and relationships were.. fumbled, in CT, but that's another rant for another day, this is SPECIFICALLY about Ben. The characters treat him like he's a comedic punching bag, from the whole we're being hunted thing, down to him having a gf, so much of it is just— cruel and ooc? Darius used to match Ben's freak hard and you're telling me he's gonna sit there and mock him for every little thing he does? The girls, who BEN HELPED GET TGT, and used to be so supportive of him, even made jokes. I will say the way the lead up was written added to it, because wdym Ben hadn't told anyone from probably at least a year that he had a gf, and then when he DID, he gave them the most sus “She lives in… europe?” And called it a day, it was yet another thing that was inserted despite it making zero sense just to fuel an unnecessary plotline, but I digress.
Now Gia, oh Gia. Listen, I don't want this to come off as a “Let's shit on Gia!” Thing, because that's not what it is, as I've stated before, Gia's writing definitely leaves things to be desired (Like yk, a character outside of being “Ben's girlfriend”, but that's neither here nor there), but I don't think she deserves hate. Character criticisms and hate are very different things, especially when it comes to women in the media. However, let's talk about her and her relationship to Ben and his paranoia rq.
Tl;dr, it doesn't. Fucking. Work.
The WORST thing to do when it comes to a person and their paranoia, is to reinforce those fears, it's one thing to reassure people that what they're feeling is valid, but to outright tell them that “yeah so everyone is after you and you're in constant danger” IS BAD. Starting out their relationship with them making a silly little quip about phones and being traceable does not sit right with me, at all. All that scene tells me is that their relationship is based off fuelling that paranoia, reinforcing unhealthy habits, and just— terrible writing decisions. Which is so funny considering how ignore Ben's paranoia is in s3. To put it simply, imagine your partner having a paranoia induced hallucination, are you going to a)reassure them that it's not real and they are safe or b)start screaming and going “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?”. If you chose b, maybe cozying up with someone who suffers from any sort of psychosis is not for you.
To give a rundown of all this, yes, I am glad paranoia is being represented in the media, and no, not all of the writing surrounding Ben's paranoia is bad; However, a lot of the writing, specifically in CT, runs off ableist stereotypes surrounding paranoia and utilizes them to make Ben, a character who DID have incredible character writing in CC, the butt of the joke. So much of Ben's character in CT is dumbed down to be comedic relief, whereas the others are taken so much more seriously, yes, there are jokes made with them, but it's not their. Entire. Goddamn. Character. It's clear that the writers of CT can write trauma and fear and take it seriously, but they missed the mark with Ben, hard, which sucks because CC Ben is genuinely one of my favourite instances of paranoia represented in media.
I really hope at least some of this is addressed in s4, but I don't have high hopes, for now I will simply run with canon CC and the canon CT I have created in my head 🙏
#ben pincus#jurassic world chaos theory#jurassic world camp cretaceous#camp cretaceous#jwct#jwcc#silas yaps#a long one for yall#if you have any questions feel free to ask#i couldnt fit EVERY thought i have into this without it being a coke rant but i got most of it#Ik i sound like a hater in so many of my posts I PROMISE I STILL LOVE THE SHOW#it just. hm.#some writing decisions... not my faaaave
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Whispering Flower (Easter Ending 3) (Bassie x Reader)
Kinda disappointed bassie wasn't last because that'd be a little funny/j/lh
Notes: gn toon reader, potential ooc, bassie is eager and leans into the games general expectations, you both have a serious talk, pre game, jealous bassie, she kind of... is going through it a little- definitely starting to feel the pressure of being a main and thats bleeding into other parts of her life, it gets messy, there is a happy ending here... kinda. you guys do talk it out, cocoa next ending i just cant say when shes going to be posted
Word Count: 2.7k
CWs: i dont think there needs to be one? but theres a slight description of bassie have a small breakdown
You push your hand in deeper… and all eyes are on you…
Your fingers wrap around something, and you pull out…
Something soft- almost delicate. Your fingers retract almost instantly out of fear that whatever it was, you’d crush it in your hold. How it hadn’t already been flattened into a crumbled mass in the bag was a mystery- and quite frankly you were almost a little impressed. After a second or two standing under the expectant gazes of everyone’s eyes you push your hand back forward and carefully wrap your fingers around whatever it was… and almost agonizingly slowly you draw out whatever it was.
Two flowers, dried and preserved. Connected at the stem… you almost felt a twinge of annoyance that someone would put something so delicate into a bag- though you were sure it was far from the worst item choice inside the sack. The chance to scrape your brain for any idea of who could have been the one to put the item in is taken from you as a split second squeal suddenly silences itself. A moment later Bassie, now sheepish, shuffled to your side to mumble something about it being hers.
Despite the light embarrassment for her obvious display of the eagerness of being chosen- even by coincidence- her eyes still held some glimmer of… well, being picked. Bassie lightly pushed Cocoa- who still had her paw resting comfortingly on your shoulder- to the side.
Dandy stood quietly and watched the entire near wordless exchange before he recovered enough to clear his throat.
“Right! Bassie! Bassie and Dewdrop, I’m sure you both know how the game is supposed to go- to the gift shop with you!” Dandy turned to Vee, and fluttered his eyes. The television scoffed, before repeating the importance of getting a move on… she didn’t seem like she was going to wait for much longer to start the time. Bassie looked like she wanted to hold your hand… but settled on holding her own- clasping them together in front of her as you both shuffled out of everyone’s sights. Down the hall, to the right… into the gifthop- and through the open staff door. The smell of flowers from the gift shop was almost nauseating as you shut the door; sealing the scent away from you for the time being.
Bassie stood not too far away, shuffling her feet together quietly… she didn’t take a space against the wall or on the floor. Instead, she just stood there with nothing to lean her body against. You weren’t sure you blamed her entirely… the storage room looked like it hadn’t gotten a proper cleaning in a long long time… dust caked the floor and the walls didn’t look much better. Tracks carved themselves from the entrance and the second door- you didn’t even notice that there was a third door until you brushed against the cold metal handles of it. Double doors… where they lead… you had no theory.
One of Bassie’s hands rises to her right handle and readjusts it.
In the darkness you could tell that her flowers were… different. You swear they were different colors earlier today- there were more pink flowers earlier… they were still there, but light blue ones had joined the pink and purple petals piled into her head.
You point to your head almost awkwardly. “Did you change your flowers?”
Bassie’s fiddling hand froze mid shift and remained hooked around her handle. Her fingers pinched the woven material gently, before running the skin over the… what were baskets made of, exactly?
The catlike smile she usually kept on her face shifted slightly, parting barely as her first attempt to respond failed her. “I did-! I did!” She finally managed to get out, her words chirping in a higher note… forced, but there was an undertone of genuine joy in her voice.
You only nod in response… before realizing it made you come off as disinterested… and in the face of her happiness it made you feel a little bit like a jerk. “It looks nice… something different- fresh, you know?” Your hands swung awkwardly at your sides as you looked around the storage room. So… so much merch of toons- mostly the mains… all of the Easter toons were here, though… as well as some off colored plushies of some non-holiday toons. “Skins” in a weird way… even if some of them… were a little ugly. You decided it was best Looey didn’t know what they did to his likeness… assuming he didn’t come into the room later for his turn. If he got one.
“I’m really glad you picked me- I know it's only a coincidence, but,” Bassie caught your attention again as she broke through the pause of silence. Her eyes lowered to the floor as her feet shifted around in the dust and disturbed it… the grey matter sticking to her green stocking and staining them a faded color, clumps of it sticking to the faint fuzz. You swear you saw some shedded strands of hair in the mess. The effort it took to keep your face straight and to pry your eyes off of the… not very pleasant sight… it’s not like it was her fault- in hindsight you both probably should have stuck in the gift shop itself.
“I’m glad?”
You couldn’t keep the confusion out of your voice as you tried to look anywhere but her stockings. The stacks of plushies looming over you suddenly felt intimidating as they stared down at you with the same intensity of the stare you were under in the lobby- albeit this time it was all lifeless. You never noticed how much Pebble stared until you saw the emphasized bulging eyes of his plush. The back of your would be neck burned under the false stare as you continued to find somewhere to look- but each attempt forced your stare back into motion. The current task preoccupied your mind enough to hide the fact that Bassie had shuffled even closer to you- her hands still clasped in front of her- her own quickened breathing undetected to you until your eyes finally landed on her face- mere inches away.
“Woah- woah woah woah hey-!” You sputtered as you backed up a foot or two. In an instant Bassie began to backtrack.
“Sorry- sorry- I just thought-” Her hands flung to her mouth and covered it. “-I just thought that– with the game, you’d…” Her eyes snapped to the floor where your gaze once settled itself on. Your mouth stretched in a slanted line, your mind still reeling from the sudden turn of events.
She wasn’t… wrong.
The implications of the game were clear, even to you if this was your first time playing… but that didn’t shake the feeling of shock. Now you were shuffling your feet around as you racked your brain for any idea of how to make the situation just a little less awkward. Your mouth felt dry and you were fighting the urge to start coughing as dust clung to the back of your throat- no doubt going into a coughing fit would make things even worse… it certainly didn’t help that you were pretty sure Bassie was absolutely covered in pollen and that was starting to have an effect on you… how cruel it was for God to give you seasonal allergies, and to stick you in a room with a beacon of nature’s means of reproduction.
“It’s nothing against you- I mean I don’t… you kind of just swooped in, you know? Take a toon out for dinner at least,” You added the joke last minute in an attempt to try to soften the blow of rejection. It's not that you… disliked Bassie… and truth be told if she had asked or given some form of warning you may have leaned into her idea of what to do for the seven minutes.
“How come you and Cocoa are so… close.. All of a sudden?” She suddenly spoke up.
The sudden mention of the rabbit caught you completely off guard, more than her advancement a moment ago… and maybe you were wrong but you thought you saw a twinge of jealousy in her eyes as her stare sharpened against the floor.
A soft huh pushed her to keep going.
“You never used to let her hang on to you like that- or maybe I’m misremembering?”
You scrunched your face. What was she… and then you remembered- the paw Cocoa had settled on your shoulder to keep you steady, and the paw that remained as you gathered with everyone else for the game. You didn’t think anyone would notice- and you had tuned out the feel of Cocoa’s hold on you.
“Oh- that,” You made a weird humming sound.
It was… weird to bring up Cocoa in specific, you weren’t going to lie. You’ve been close to other toons before in front of Bassie, but… it seemed there was a line that you unknowingly crossed.
The hostility in the basket’s voice was unmistakable as she dedicated herself to silently stewing in front of you.
“She was just making sure I didn’t bump into anyone else- you should’ve seen it, hit her and Flyte- she was just worried is all-”
And she huffed at you.
Your face dropped it’s confused look and morphed into a frown, while Bassie’s turned into a barely contained scowl.
“Of course she’d jump on the chance to…” She trailed off through clenched teeth as she finally brought her hot gaze up to you… the hostility in them you weren’t sure was aimed at you or the other holiday toon down the hall. Maybe both. She looked at you like you had somehow betrayed her. You did your best to stand your ground under her glare.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing, I think it’s sweet that she-”
“I could have done that, why didn’t you ask me?” She cut you off. You fall quiet.
This was nothing like the quiet wallflowery toon you had gotten used to being around. There was a certain resentment in her stance that could be seen from a mile away.
Passing glares shot to the rabbit and the way she fell silent the moment Cocoa had started to speak suddenly became obvious as you rapidly combed through your memories in a desperate search for something to say to calm the toon down.
“Do you… not like Cocoa?”
“Yes!” She blurted out. “No!.. No I-” she backtracked for the second time and took a hissing breath through her clenched teeth.
“I don’t.” She finally drew out as she stepped away from her spot in the middle of the room and leaned against one of the walls- before letting herself slump down into the dust… you don’t immediately say anything as Bassie pulled her knees to her chest and wilted into herself.
“Everyone fawns over her- followers her lead… that’s supposed to be my job,” She mumbled under her breath as the fire in her rapidly died into something mushy and sopping wet. There was still a hot storm of emotion swirling in her black eyes as her fingers dug into her knees.
You let her statement hang in the air.
It was a lot to unpack. How could you even start to unpack it? As far as you were concerned the pair were friends- at least that’s how Cocoa made it seem whenever she talked about Bassie… and you had always assumed Bassie was… being herself… when she clammed up around the rabbit.
A soft sigh escaped your throat as you followed the main to her sitting spot and settled yourself next to her with plenty of space between the two of you.
“Have you… talked to her about it?”
Bassie’s fingers sunk deeper into her legs before they forced themselves away to find themselves lightly tugging on her handles. Some hesitation… and you reach your hand to place over hers to stop the yanking.
“What is there to talk about-”
Her hands were so tense under yours as they twitched and scraped at the weaved patterns all over her head. At least your touch made the yanking stop.
“She should know that it's my job- its what I was made for- I’m the one plastered everywhere not her.”
You frowned.
This was. Far above your paygrade- and you weren’t being paid at all. Playing therapist for someone in a dark closet was the last thing you thought you were going to be doing tonight.
“I’m sure she doesn’t mean to step on your toes?” You pulled your hand away and let your sweaty palm rest on the floor. You’d clean later.
“I mean… it’s… Cocoa… I’m sure if you told her she would underst-”
“You wouldn’t get it, you’re just a.. You’re not a main toon like me- you’re not put under the same standards like I am.” She cut over you again before taking a deep breath. Once more her hands shifted around; one of her hands finds themselves to one of her flowers- which had been slightly jostled out of its secure spot in her basket and hung limply over the edge. The blue petal is pinched between her fingers… and it barely keeps itself attached to the rest of the flower as she rubbed the petal.
She did have a point. Even if her tone was sharp and her breathing was rapid and shallow.
You weren’t a main, and you’d probably never know just how much pressure they’re put under. The best you could say was that you saw how the staff held higher expectations for them and they were more likely to be swamped by visitors- but the true extent?
“Well-”
The door swings open as Dandy announces time was up. In an instant Bassie started to try to regain herself. The flower toon stood in the doorway awkwardly for a few seconds as he surveyed the mess in front of him.
Horribly he almost looked faintly pleased that the two of you weren’t having that good of a time.
“Uhm… time’s up..!” He repeated before shuffling out of the doorway- the light flooding in now that he wasn’t blocking it out. You shout after him about knocking next time- your discomfort shoved to the side to make way for pure annoyance. Bassie wasted no time in standing to her feet- and with a half hearted attempt to get the mess off of her she beelined quickly for the door.
“Hey-” You shoved yourself off of the floor and tried to rush after her… for someone so… short… you didn’t expect her to be so fast. You were almost tempted to make a grab for her but your hand froze before it could wrap around her wrist.
She didn’t stop for you. In less than a second she was in the doorway of the gift shop and making her escape.
“I want to understand- can you at least-” You tried to keep up with her.
She at least slowed down enough to let you catch up.
“I don’t want to say right off the bat that I get what’s going on, or that I have answers- but…” You loop around her side. Her face still obviously looked distressed as she fought hard to make her expression neutral.
“Why don’t we go up to my room for now? At least until you’re feeling better-”
You had a sick feeling Cocoa would come ask what was wrong the second she noticed Bassie’s state… and you had a sicker feeling that it would make things so much worse.
Bassie’s hands balled at her sides.
…and she didn’t verbally answer as another wave of emotion rolled over her. Just another crack in whatever dam she had built up inside her- you didn’t make too much of a fuss over the tears pin pricking her eyes.
“Come on,”
And… at least as best as you could, you tried to sneak Bassie to one of the large elevators in the main lobby to bring her to your room… you could only hope that no one noticed you- as their backs turned to the two of you, focused on the current game.
#x reader#canon x reader#canon x you#bassie x reader#dw bassie x reader#dandy's world bassie x reader#dandy's bassie x reader#dandys world bassie x reader#dandys bassie x reader#dw x reader#dandy's world x reader#dandy's x reader#dandys world x reader#dandys x reader
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Buckle up, this might be long, I have things to say:
Cobel doesn't know they kissed, that iMark has had romantic sexual experiences with both Helly and Helena, that Helena stalked him to a Chinese restaurant, or that his first memory from his post Zufu brain surgery sesh is a memory (likely a full sense memory) of a tender romantic sexual moment of him giving Helly an orgasm hours before.
What she does know is iMark and Helly had a flirtation. She knows he kept trying to stick his neck out for Helly. She knows iMark was the one that first saved her from hanging, and how much it affected him. She knows he took Helly for little Mental Health Walks. And we know Cobel was watching as he interacted with Gemma-as-Ms. Casey.
But what we know now post Sweet Vitriol is that
A) She was raised in the Lumon/Eagan cult
B) Severance the concept was her idea and her science, and it was stolen from her
C) She didn't get to experience the joys of youth as a child laborer. No first romances, no play time, just work.
Not only did Lumon stick her in middle management of her project, but the Board rejected any of her theories that Reintegration was even a possibility. Of her own science.
So, the Innies become her lab rats.
We don't know how much of "Ms. Casey, Lumon Therapist" was her idea, but Cobel watched with bated breath as Mark interacted with Gemma-as-Ms. Casey.
She plops a not-dead version of iMark's Outie's wife in a tank with iMark, and his crush, a vulnerable-from-lack-of-autonomy Helly, to "Observe" Helly in a post suicide attempt world, noose bruising still visible. This is a pressure cooker. The pressure cooker wasn't for Helly or Ms. Casey, while findings from them would still be interesting. It was for Mark.
Will love transcend severance?
Will Mark protect Helly like he does, or will he instinctually be pulled towards Ms. Casey, and let Helly's discomfort slide?
These are her Sims.
She would give Ms. Casey Gemma's candle to use in her sessions. Cobel would have Mark and Ms. Casey meet for one last time before Ms. Casey's decommission with said candle there. Emotional hot points to illicit an emotional response from Mark.
A candle he wouldn't notice was missing.
Cobel watched on in rapt attention during this session, and when Ms. Casey was "observing Helly" because its a soap opera SHE constructed. Her science come to life. Her childhood musings in reality. It's almost like she wants to be wrong because she wants to believe love is real.
Cobel is a MarkGemma Truther.
"They will discard you like a skin husk." = Helly's an Eagan. They only know how to hurt you. Ask how I know.
"I care for you!" = My blorbo. I've manipulated your life so much please don't my methods unnerving and creepy. Please don't destroy my ship.
If love transcends, her original science is wrong/flawed. She's wrong, but love is real. It also means The Board ignoring her own understanding of her science is ruining Lumon's product, and she'll have something to wave in their faces. If it doesn't, she's right, her science is flawless, and they followed it well.
She's looking at the wrong part of the experiment. Coming at it with MarkGemma shipper goggles, focusing on Mark's angle because he's active on her personal floor the most, and she knows Gemma isn't dead. She's known about them for the entire time both Gemma, and subsequently Mark, have been with Lumon. She's probably had them interact countless times before.
Hell, she LIVES next to Mark to continue her "research"/soap opera.
She just didn't account for Mark falling for someone else. She didn't account for Zufu.
She doesn't know that iMark knows more than her about not just Helly, but Helena. AND Both Scoutie and Cobel don't know about The Ortbo. In the 106 Chip Flood, he sees flashes FROM the ORTBO tent, but specifically flashes from when iMark was getting flashes of Gemma in the tent.
We know Scoutie is selfish, but Cobel doesn't understand love, that's why they were both VERY Nearsighted with the prospect of iMark giving his life, as well as the lives of Helly and every other innie, for Gemma's life.
They condescended iMark about HIS OWN experiences.
Okay... yeah. Idk how to end this.
I need season 3 to come soon, but also to take its time because the seasons are short and I want this show to last.
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Just putting this theory out there:
Hazbin season 2 is gonna end with the hotel losing, and the finale is gonna be the opposite of season 1's.
Many people like to portray Sera as this tyrant who would try to keep Pentious' redemption secret at all costs in order to maintain Heaven's status quo or something like that, and while I do think she would want to do that, I don't think she's in the position to, at least not emotionally. I mean, we've all seen her in episode 6, she was faced with an entire court room who had just found out she was behind a thousand-year lasting genocide, and all she was concerned about was Emily's reaction and making sure she wasn't disappointed in her, making sure she didn't hate her, making sure she didn't rebel and fall like Lucifer did. But Emily is, indeed, very disappointed in her, and now that we know redemption is possible, Sera's on a hot seat like never before. So here's what I think will happen:
Sera is ashamed, so she lets Emily take charge. And Emily is ecstatic that sinners can be redeemed, because this means they are good people after all, yay! And so she welcomes Charlie and the hotel residents with open arms, and she's super nice to them, she's super nice to everyone, because everyone deserves a second chance right? And as gets more and more in contact with the population of Hell and things are going more and more in Charlie's way... sometimes goes wrong.
You see, something I used to find odd is the fact that now that we've had such an important reveal about redemption, the focus shifts on the Vees. Because yes, they're the confirmed main antagonists of the next season. And that's weird. I mean, finding out whether redemption is possible or not is the entire point of the show. It can't be brushed off in a subplot in favor to three randos from hell. Unless it doesn't.
Because the Vees want to rebel against Heaven. Velvette makes it very clear in episode 3. Many people brushed off that scene and called them hypocrites because "they made such a fuss about wanting to fight only to stay holed up in their house eating popcorn when extermination day actually came", but I think they were just stalling; first of all, they would have never fought alongside the hotel, not as long as Alastor was there. If anything, if the angels killed the residents during that battle, they would have gotten rid of their enemies for them.
But the main reason is that Velvette wasn't talking about the three of them attacking the angels alone. She wanted to pitch an assault plan to the other overlords, but they didn't listen to her because they didn't have enough proof exorcist could actually be killed by demons. Now, however, they do. So it would be totally possible for the Vees to gather an army to fight against Heaven.
My theory is that season 2 is divided in 2 plots, one about Sir Pentious and his redemption, and one about the Vees putting their plan together, and in the end they join into one. Emily puts every bit of trust she has in Charlie, only for the Vees to start a war against Heaven, and they fight, and it gets ugly. I wouldn't bet on anyone's death since we know Lute, Saint Peter and Emily herself are going to be in season 3, and Abel seems like too much of a big deal to die so soon, but like Lute lost an arm in season one, we don't know who could be next. There's many bad things that could happen to these characters even without killing them. And Emily realizes that oh shit, sinner really are bad people. They tried to kill her friends, and she's the one who let them get this close. It's her fault. So now, she's the one who's ashamed. She's the one who fucked up. She's the one who thinks that maybe Sera did know better, after all. So Sera takes charge again.
Sera's enraged. She cuts the sinners off, possibly for good. Assuming the exorcist are still here and they're still Heaven's military, they play a huge role in the defeat of the rebellion, and assuming they had lost their social status when redemption had been proven to be legit, they get it back. Given that now we have actual proof that the sinners want to arise against Heaven, the exterminations are brought back.
The Hotel has lost Heaven's support, and after the rebellion has gone to shit, they don't have supporters in Hell either. They lost, and they're back to square one.
A season like this would mean many fun things, including:
- More Vox/Alastor lore (which is already been confirmed) and shenanigans
- More Val/Angel lore and shenanigans
- Maybe more Velvette/Carmilla shenanigans, as well. I thought their conflict would have only been a one episode thing, but I changed my mind when Viv posted on Instagram a picture of a scheme involving all the characters, where Velvette and Carmilla were connected. Velvette is the only Vee without a proper antagonist, so it would be nice to see more of them.
- Carmilla getting more involved with the Hotel to prevent the rebellion and protect her daughters? (Or maybe she just keeps pretending to be the Phantom of the opera and she cries when the war does eventually happen and everything goes to shit)
- Charlie's ideas and morality getting challenged and her character getting more depth
- Lute's ideas and morality getting challenged and her character getting more depth
- Angels getting more screen time (NEVER A BAD THING)
- Possibly internal Heaven structure lore
- Sir Pentious lore
-Abel lore
And I could go on forever but you get the point.
(If you ever want to add any sort of comment to this post, please no spoilers, and no talking about l*aks)
#Hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel thoughts#hazbin hotel sera#hazbin hotel season 2#hazbin hotel emily#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel vees#Velvette#Vox#Valentino#carmilla carmine#Sir Pentious#Lute#Abel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel valentino#Hazbin hotel Velvette
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Aziraphale is so good at manipulation, we often overlook it
Aziraphale, the manipulator: An essay.
Aziraphale, the angel. Love him as much as the next guy but he's not always as good as he makes us think he is - but I'm also not sure he's even doing it on purpose. He's always this soft character, you know, who fights for himself, his loves, and what he believes to be right, even if what he believes to be right doesn't align what Heaven believes to be right - although Heaven doesn't actually care about being right, they really just want power - and while this is right, it's also more than that and it needs to be mentioned.
The two have known each other since the beginning of time. We see their first meeting when Crowley is creating his nebula (friendly reminder this is the ONLY time we see him as an angel), and they have a short talk. This also brings up a separate theory about Crowley not telling us something, which I might talk about separately, if I remember.
Anyways, Crowley has religious trauma, naturally. It's undeniable, but because of it, it also makes him slightly of a nihilist I'd argue. For him, it's not a religion, it's part of his life, right? Just like satyrs in greek mythology weren't like "ooh i'm part of this mythos" or whatever, that's just how they existed, because then there would've been some fourth wall breaks. But Crowley is angry, and rightfully so. He spends so much time working on his nebula that'll be around for millions of years only to learn that not only is it actually for human entertainment who won't even be able to witness all of it, but it's actually only going to be around for a whole six thousand years and then, bam, all gone. And he's angry about this. He approaches god, asks his questions and then goes sailing into a pool of sulphur, allegedly. And he's angry. He can't take it out on god. That's how he got here. He can't take it out on angels. He can't take it out on other demons (he can, but it's not like it'll do anything), so who's left?
Humans. He's angry and takes it out on humans and he's like a boiling teapot, slowly letting his anger out because it's his only option. But he knows the humans don't really deserve it, which is why he does it slowly.
At this point, you're probably thinking "but turtle. you said this was about aziraphale being a manipulator." be patient, young one. I'm getting there. have some patience, my love.
Aziraphale notices this, so he deliberately puts himself in positions that allow him to be saved by Crowley ("Rescuing me makes him so happy"). Which might be seen as, "oh that's sweet. he's watching out for crowley," because now Crowley has some sort of purpose instead of wandering around. But it also makes crowley dependent on Aziraphale. He offers his companionship, but Crowley has nobody else. Humans die too quickly, he doesn't give a rats ass about any of the demons, and the last thing he wants is to return to heaven (that bit's important). And Crowley, like anyone else, wouldn't want to be alone for the rest of time. His threats to run off without Aziraphale are empty threats. He won't leave without him. But it also means that wherever Aziraphale ends up going, Crowley would likely follow. After however long they spend together, it's fair to say they probably know each other pretty well. However, Aziraphale seems to underestimate Crowley's hatred for Heaven.
Regardless, also doesn't seem to really care. When Zira gets discorporated and visits Crowley as a spirit, asks where he is, and learns that Crowley didn't run off, he isn't happy to see Crowley still there. He ignores the statement "I lost my best friend." The first thing he does is asks Crowley to do something for him. If my memory serves me correctly, the only time Aziraphale actually admits (verbally) that he wants them to be together is when he has the chance to have everything he wants - but because he chooses his stupid promotion, it's clear that he doesn't actually care all that much. Crowley has shown to him that heaven doesn't give any fucks about being righteous. Zira thinks that Crowley's love for him is stronger than his hatred for Heaven, and as well all see... he's wrong.
What bothers me the most, though, is how unaffected Aziraphale is though, about watching Crowley leave for that last time. I mean yeah, he's affected, but not so much to the point that he seems to regret his actions.
I mean, come one. Look at him. That is not a face of regret. When he talks to the Metatron, he's more concerned about leaving his bookshop behind than he is Crowley.
I am going to leave it there, mostly because I'm very sleep deprived and most of this was written while delirious
#look I love our#ineffable husbands#as much as the next guy#but aziraphale can be so manipulative at times#and selfish#and if you try and tell me that he's not you haven't really seen him#because he constantly rejects any admission of their friendship#now I don't particularly think that's his fault#I think that he was kinda “born this way” and tricked into this weird mindset#but crowley is aware of it and able#to an extent#escape the ideology they were both initially trapped in#but aziraphale just refuses to admit it#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#good omens#good omens 2#ineffable idiots#metatron#theory#fan theory
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