#I just want this to happen so much and my finances might not allow it but I’m being optimistic

[wroteclassicaly]

Next week… will I be able to say I’m meeting Joe in August?

[p1utofairy]

★ your next glow up?

note — i wasn't gonna post this now but i figured fuck it why not?! enjoy, my loves! this is for entertainment purposes only <3 take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. p.s. come in my ask box and tell me what you think!

PILE ONE.

pile mf ONE, you are really stepping into a new era! when i tell you this new you is gonna turn HEADS. tuh, you’re gonna be looking like new money. nicki minaj’s ‘new body’ verse is coming to mind lol “you ain’t fuck me, you fucked the old body. you ain’t fuck nicki, you fucked nicole body! ain’t no miles on this here new body, off with they heads these bitches is nobody’s.” OH YEAH OKAYYY, PILE 1. maybe you’ll be hitting the gym more, switching up your diet or possibly getting some cosmetic work done?

whatever you’re doing differently, it’s gonna be noticeable. people are gonna feel like something changed with you overnight like “um when did pile 1 get so bad?” and this isn’t to say you aren’t already attractive…there’s just something about your energy and confidence that just amplified x1000 and people are really gonna feel and see this change in you. you might start experimenting with your outfits a little more, giving off a more seductive vibe. it’s like you're breaking out of your comfort zone especially if you usually opt for baggier clothes or a more conservative look. wait cause why am i thinking of ‘pretty little liars’ when emily is talking to aria about hanna and she’s like “haven’t you heard? she’s the it girl now.” PERIOD, PILE ONE. giving serena page vibes from love island.

there will be a lot of talk about you and even if you don’t hear it directly, trust me, people are gonna try to keep tabs on you. i’m seeing people re-watch your instagram stories tryna figure out who took you that place and who you’re doing it with — oh these people are spiralingggg. this could very well be potential suitors tryna scope out the scenery, but they’re not sure if you’ll be interested in them. they might fear rejection because you just look so damn good and it looks like you’re in such a better space in life and got your shit together; whereas they feel like they lack the resources/finances to be with you. these potential love interests see you as high value, pile 1. they’re intimidated by your beauty and aura. you’ll be more so focused on attracting a partner that can actually make shit happen.

you don’t have time for the cat and mouse games. you want the real deal and i do see you getting the person that you want. you manifested this person into your life and i sense them feeling like they won the lottery with you! i’m hearing that you are sooo mesmerizing on the outside and your heart & personality makes you so much more beautiful. there’s layers to you and i think this next glow up will allow you to really shine and be yourself unapologetically – you’re leaning into the different aspects of yourself that makes you unique. if there’s anything you’ve got your mind set on or something specific you want to do, go for it! whatever you do, you’ll stand out effortlessly and be successful. say yes by floetry is coming to mind. “see, i’ve been watching you for awhile…your smile and style. wanna know if i can be with you for the night, alright.” i meannnnn need i say more?!

how to tap into this energy?

listen closely to your intuition! work on your third eye because i’m hearing that you’re a powerful manifester and you don’t even truly know it. even if you do know this, you start doubting yourself and limiting your own thoughts. always think big and bigger because it’s in your reach. don’t get so caught up in the “how?” because your manifestations can appear in many different ways, not just one. you have a clear vision into the future – you just gotta adjust your lens and focus on what it is that YOU want. who cares if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, as along as you see the vision then it’s a go! listen to ‘i want it all’ by sharpay evans lol you need to embody that song and its energy.

PILE TWO.

hey, pile 2! i’m hearing you’ve been putting up with the bullshit for wayyyy too long and this next glow up is gonna be a proper FUCK YOU to all your haters! i feel like people take your kindness for weakness and you feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve. you can deal with a lot of passive aggression in your relationships or friendships and people expect for you to suck it up and be okay with it. what i’m mainly picking up is that you like to keep the peace. you don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather, but it just makes it worse for you because you’re not truly expressing yourself and your emotions. this keeps you up at night like “ugh! i should’ve said this or I should’ve stuck up for myself and finally cussed so and so tf out.” but you don’t because you know why, pile 2? you’re better than them, simple as that.

you wouldn’t treat anybody how some people treat you, and the reality is that it’s so much harder to be nice than it is to be mean. anybody can be mean and say hurtful shit if they really wanted to, but to always be graceful and kind in the face of adversity and ignorance? rare af. +10000 aura points! don’t let anybody make you feel less than or like you can’t speak up for yourself. this next glow up you’re going to use your voice and really make it known that you are not to be fucked with, okay?! you will be standing your ground and really popping your shit in the most calm and collected way possible & people are gonna be like “wait…did [y/n] really just clock me like that?!” and you’re gonna be standing 10 toes down on it as you should. they’ll have no choice but to respect you lol. you will start to realize what is worth your time & energy and what isn’t.

you might start cutting off people that don’t mean you any good and really start to focus on yourself and your energy. no more walking on egg shells and sparing peoples feelings, this is YOUR life and you have a voice just as much as they do – so use it! i think you’ll also be meeting new friends & a potential love interest during this next glow up. i’m hearing ‘how stella got her groove back’ lol so yeah some of you might be playing the field a little bit.

some of you might just want something casual and nothing more because you just want to focus on your own healing journey. you’ll start to understand why things had to happen the way that they did & why certain relationships didn’t work out the way that you thought they would. you’ll be able to decipher what you are and aren’t willing to put up with and honestly i just see you bossing tf up and advocating for yourself no matter who doesn’t like it. that tiktok “nobody loves you baby! you should only love yourself – ON MY SOUL!” just randomly came to me lmfaooo this is your ‘i’m focusing on what really matters aka me’ era and i think it’s exactly what you need pile 2.

how to tap into this energy?

i think you need to transmute the negative energy that people try to project on you into something positive. 12:12 on the clock, yeah. like look at this way, if people doubt you, don’t respect you or don’t feel like your capable of achieving great things then use that to your advantage. let them underestimate you all they want, and then BAM boss up on them and show them who tf you are. what they don’t know only makes you stronger. you have the power to make some powerful ass connections and make a name for yourself so be calculated & strategic with your moves. people will be eating their words when it comes to you, pile 2.

PILE THREE.

pile 3 your next glow up is gonna be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ngl, but very rewarding nonetheless. i’m hearing that one tiktok sound “you gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. love what you got and remember what you had.” so yeah i think you’re really gonna be figuring out how to transmute your energy and create something from it – whether that be a job opportunity, a love offer, a trip, etc. there’s something that you really want and you’re doing the work to make it happen. you have the plan, you just need the platform lol.

for some of you, i see a major relationship coming to an end. this could be a lover or a best friend, but this person will be exposed because they’re not who you thought they were. this person has very sneaky/deceptive energy and you’ve been in the dark about this for way too long. this person/connection means a lot to you, so you will feel like this is a tough situation to completely walk away from; but my sweet pile 3’s you will be more than okay! you will be spectacular! 10:10 was just on the clock.

allow yourself to sort through your emotions and learn from the situation, don’t let it weigh you down. sometimes we get too caught up in how long we’ve been with somebody and all of the good memories we made with them, that makes us hesitant to move on. sometimes things just run its course and you’re no longer in alignment with that person. you can’t force anything or anyone in your life that doesn’t align with your highest self and that can be very hard to process when emotions are involved but i’m happy to let you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

i see some of you traveling to a place you’ve always wanted to go and possibly meeting a potential love interest. in this next glow up, you’ll be doing things that you’ve always wanted to do cause there’s no one holding you back. you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and just taking a leap of faith – high risk, high reward. you’re gonna be making time for yourself and also prioritizing your hobbies/interests. this is beautiful, pile 3. i see you really getting in touch with who you are at the core. be kind and gentle with yourself, because you are a precious gem that a lot of people value and care about.

how to tap into this energy?

stop giving your power away. work on your throat chakra, my loves. your voice is your power and it’s one of the major keys to your success. a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so you need to speak up and communicate what it is that YOU want and not just say what people want to hear. this next glow up will really have you standing in your power. release is needed especially verbally cause you know that tight feeling you get in your throat when you’re tryna stop yourself from crying? yeah no more of that. no more walking on egg shells, pile 3. say what you feel and stand on it & watch how the tides turn in your favor. mwah!

PILE FOUR.

alright, pile 4! for this next glow up i see you moving. some of you might actually be moving into a new home or apartment and it’s gonna grant you so much peace and comfort. for others of you, this could be you moving on emotionally from a toxic relationship and/or familial bond and finally getting the clarity and peace you need to cut all ties and move onto something better. whatever the situation may be, it was weighing heavy on you and making you feel very down.

you’re gonna feel so free when you leave this situation behind, it’s not even funny. i’m hearing that you were a gilded bird in a cage. some of you could’ve been moving from place to place, not feeling quite settled or financially stable. if you feel lost right now and like you don’t know what to do with your life/where it’s taking you, i just wanna say keep going – W.A.Y.S. by jhené aiko is coming to mind. “if there's one thing that i learned while in those county lines, is that everything takes time. you have gotta lose your pride, you have gotta lose your mind just to find your peace of mind.” awww yeah that’s your theme song for this next glow up. things might not make sense right now, but please trust me when i say that everything is going to work out in your favor & things will be better than you could ever imagine.

you will be blessed with the tools you need to get to this next phase of your life. you are the source, pile 4. whatever you put your mind to, you can surely achieve! don’t let 3D circumstances throw you off, you are so abundant and prosperous you will see in this next glow up just how much of a powerful manifester you really are. you’re still trying to find yourself and figure out where you fit in in the world, but you don’t have to put yourself in a box, pile 4. pave your own way and once you do others will want to follow suit. no one can see your future the way that you do, so keep doing your thing because i’m seeing that you will come across people/friends that share similar interests and niches as you. awww pile 4 you’re going to find your soul tribe.

you have this flighty energy about you (air sign energy/esp gemini) like you’re from one thing to the next and you can’t figure out what you truly want to do. some of you might be in college or almost about to graduate and when people ask you “do you know what you want to do?” you’re like uhhhh….]>|>]^>.]€]€]£ like you truly don’t know but like that’s okay cause actually you do know! on a soul level, you know. what’s understood doesn’t have to be explained pile 4 lol people might not get it now but when you pop out living the life you’ve always dreamed of, TUH. they’ll understand then.

how to tap into this energy?

get out of your head so much and just vibe, pile 4. you can plan plan plan all you want but the reality is: shit happens! it might annoy you or make you feel incredibly frustrated when another problem or inconvenience pops up in your life, but there’s nothing you can’t overcome. it’s life. you will be greatful for these experiences in the long run because it will be another bridge that you’ve already crossed and dealt with, so you won’t fold under pressure – you’ll just already know what to do. you got this, pile 4. shit is about to get really good for you.

[a-d-nox]

pac: mid-year reflection - what have you accomplished and what should you be working on for the rest of the year?

i'm trying something new, a pick a card. take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: what exists before you that you can't see?

masterlist of pap/pac posts

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pile one

accomplished: you have fought past a hard time within your family. you broke free from the expectations and control you felt from them - good for you paving your own path!! you are now ready for the next level. continue to recharge and heal mentally as you prepare yourself for what is next. have faith you did the right thing - there is no going back now. continue to seek out inspiration for actions - and acting accordingly to your inspiration. you are steadily working towards achieving something just for yourself. just remember to remain flexible and have some patience for yourself.

still working on: you still have to work on your authority and stability - its not so improved that you can just move on. it's a process. practice being calm despite the chaos - manage your anxiety/stress. trust that you are mature enough to handle yourself and your situation. it's all about confidence, so get in touch with yours. don't be afraid to kick things up a notch. you have to practice stepping outside your comfort zone if you want to see some serious growth. at the same time, it wouldn't hurt you to take a break and take a step back from time to time (don't push yourself - you'll find yourself burnt out). you also have to work on not feeling so stuck - the past is in the past, nothing is guaranteed, fitting in is overrated, you aren't competing with anyone - that is all in your mind, and (this one you might not be ready for) your loneliness is likely self imposed (put yourself out there). take back your power in that regard! take some small steps towards what you truly want and you will feel a whole lot better before 2025.

pile two

accomplished: you have finally stopped putting so much pressure on yourself. it's such a relief! i know you are a perfectionist but it gets exhausting, no? but now you can see it's just not productive to continually compare yourself to others and now you are free. keep happily say "no" while focusing on what truly brings you joy. i feel like it's also a good thing you have lower your bar for yourself. high hopes are good but not to the detriment of your mental health and self-image. delays are okay - it's okay if you're vision is not true to reality; its probably healthier this way so keep reminding yourself that. just keep working and you will get what you need and where you need to be.

still working on: keep working on connecting with your intuition. start reconnecting with your gut - stop relying on others and allowing them to influence you. also it is imperative that you let go of whatever it is that you are clinging to. change only comes when you accept endings. surrendering what is leaving or has left allows for peace and gratitude for what still remains - so stop clinging, surrender, and create space in your life for new things. embrace some spontaneity in your life - something is about to happen and you just need to say "yes" (which sounds crazy when you read the accomplished section but you will know your say "yes" opportunity when you work past your disconnect with your gut). maybe it's travel, maybe a person, etc. say yes, take a chance. ride a wave.

pile three

accomplished: i am very proud of you. i feel like you're saving for something and are being proactive with your finances instead of spending unnecessarily. that or you are feeling a bit more stabilized and secure in a situation that was bothering you earlier in the year. you just have to keep trusting that you have what you need. give some credit to yourself for your hard work. i also feel like you learned something extremely important that really had a profound influence/impact on you these last 6 months. maybe you met someone who is helping you to be wiser about how you live life and appreciate life too. you could also be moving past something that really disappointed you or hurt your feelings. you aren't too hurt by the past to not try again - you have hope once more. your emotions are no longer stagnant or restricted as they once were. keep up the good work!

still working on: you haven't been working on something that you have been planning to - it's time you stop pushing it off and get to work. stop being so frustrated and impatient with yourself due to the lack of progress you are making. be real with yourself and stop procrastinating then you will have no reason to be frustrated. otherwise, it might be time you adjust your expectations. start doing what you love again. hard work, no matter daunting it may be, will pay off when it's something you believe in. hell even if its small bits of progress, it's better than nothing. some progress will improve your spirits. life will get in your way to test how badly you really want something oftentimes. there is something to gain in breaks and stillness - start waiting around when you finally realize what it is.

[lady-raziel]

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

[ivesambrose]

ℜ𝔞𝔥𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔓𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔰 & 𝔎𝔢𝔱𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔤𝔬 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔰

October 30, 2023 — May 18, 2025

Pick the image you can submerge yourself into or can see yourself getting lost in or being a part of, that has your message.

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Picture 1

You'll look back at your childhood, early teen years or even the eras before you that you haven't lived and take inspiration from there when it comes to your creative expressions. Might revisit old films, old forms of media, music etc too.

You'll feel detached to modern life quite a bit. I believe for a long time you've been quite cynical since even the field of creativity moves too fast being heavily reliant on content generation so you had kept your hobbies aside till now or were worried about learning anything new and allowing yourself to develop in your craft.

However, you'll have this unabashed sense of confidence which comes from simply catering to that version of you that wants to find joy and awe in the arts and whatever makes you feel less doom and gloom.

You might adopt a pet or find yourself feeling closer to animals. Also, do not worry too much about your finances. They will pick up.

Some of you might rent out a place or move into a new house.

Some of you will have prospective romantic suitors or an existing relationship will bloom slowly but with assurance.

A word of advice is to invest your money properly and not mindlessly spend it at the same time the harder you hold onto it the quicker you'll find your funds decreasing. Find a middle ground.

Detachment from what you have pushed yourself to hustle for tirelessly for so long and allowing yourself to dream, explore, rest and take it slow is going to eventually bring you what you truly want without you having to lose your sanity in the process.

Picture 2

Life seemed to have been filled with toil and labour that may have been showing it's adverse effects on your health. That and the need to achieve perfectionism has been constant but the results have been futile.

Either you have been working towards something you're passionate about and will see the results finally come through or you'll finally find a reason to be passionate about or something that is worth the dedication and labour you put for the long haul and you'll appraise it's results by the middle or towards the end of this transit.

You may be realizing certain connections (likely romantic) however established will not be making it. But that's okay, you'll be eager to take steps towards a new direction even if the past seems to come snapping at your feet. (Literally, take care of your legs and feet.)

You'll also eventually be pushed to become your own boss and validation. Learn and break the cycles of your own deliberate ways of self sabotage. What does that bring? That success you have previously slaved away for.

When illusions and distractions fall away, true transformation occurs. A clear mind is a gift of it's own, a power you can confidently weild. You can finally move forward without the constant anxiety of looking back.

Picture 3

You've been impatient for your own metamorphosis, your rewards, your blessings as well as your rebirth. The previous month's felt like someone grabbed you by the head and pushed you down in an effort to make you sink at some point, you prayed that it's done with, just so the suffocation would end. That's exactly what has happened but you don't realize it yet, but will in the coming months, the old you is gone.

Some of you may be feeling drawn to dark Goddesses (learning about them or working with them however this applies to you)

You'll be pushed in the spotlight now, unknowingly, suddenly and inevitability. The metamorphosis is complete see? You haven't noticed but the people will. And although there are so many fulfilling offers both in career and love, why must you run from it? Maybe cuz you've chased all of this or wanted all of this for so long, now that it's here, you feel a sense of detachment. And although aloofness is soothing and maybe even attractive, live a little. In fact, you should unapologetically live out loud.

You have this pent up energy of wanting to beautify, nurture and bewitch everything and everyone around you and that you will, it will start with yourself first. A lot of you will venture into an artistic field that will require travel, travel in turn will also help you in connecting with your soul tribe. Listen to your heart a little more because you certainly love being in your head.

You've also been worried about your family, you'll see them happy and fulfilled.

There's so much to create, to achieve, to learn, to teach, to explore to give and to receive. So don't hold back.

Picture 4

Sometimes realizing that what you thought brought you joy because it looked exciting and good in the pictures was sucking you dry after all, can also feel like a heartbreak or an afternoon cry under the shower. You've been sick likely and devoid of true merriment. Perhaps some of you aren't as happy with the company you keep. Good thing is, that's about to change, even though at first it may not feel like it.

There's conflict internally and externally, it might bleed into your proffesional/academic life. Is everything really supposed to be competition? How much of your authenticity have you compromised so far?

I do see you managing your finances/material life/academics/work/business etc efficiently. Finally resting, recharging and looking after your well being too.

At some point you'll encounter someone unlikely who will feel like a guiding star to you and might end up being a friend, a muse, a mentor or lover and if you're lucky, all of them in one person.

You have courage but you also have Intuition and foresight, trust it, use it. So that the joy you feel and what you celebrate next, fills your soul not just your glass.

[deesseshesca]

What truth must I accept to move on ?

What again ? No ! No ! No ! You swore it will be the last time…

Good night pretty souls, today we are checking on your situation. Why did it needed to happen ? How can you alchemise it ? 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

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PILE 1 

Ace pentacles, ace wands (reverse), page swords (reverse), chariot, 999

Good night to my type A people, welcome to your reading. So lately you have concocted the most perfect budgeting plan to attend to your goals in the most efficient and successful way. I am also getting that you brought cute little things to ensure to motivate you throughout this saving journey. You know you're going to need to make some sacrifice on the way. Which can be frustrating in summer, especially when you see everyone around you spending a bag. I want to congratulate you for the healthy mindset you have regarding your money. Most of you are saving for your first car or first apartment. Someother to fund a change of career, thinking of starting nursing school or just to survive college. While others are trying to start a side hustle like becoming a lash tech or a nail tech. While harboring this tunnel vision mindset, I'm getting that people around you are not very supportive. Going as far as mocking you. But the truth you must accept: the journey towards your goal will never go smoothly. Pile 2, you are the type to plan for hours down to the very second. Anticipating everything that can go right or wrong. And when it does not go your way, you say ‘’fuck it. It ain’t even  worth it anyway. If it was really meant to be it will be easy’’ BULLSHIT ! You are the problem. You are to focus by the end of the journey, that you forget that you have to walk through the journey. Not just fly to it. Sometimes on your path something might stings or feet might hurt. The real issue is that you are missing stamina and only want to feel good. Good job, you have your priorities straight. But girl, you ain't just saving for some Mcdonal meal or a new lip gloss. You want a car, a house, a new career. Since the goal is bigger it requires more sacrifice. Letting go now, wil be like taking a big ‘’L’’.Head up, discipline over motivation. Building muscle is hard and it takes time just like a habit. Plus you have to stop thinking that life is happening to you. Babygirl, everyone got issues, you are not the only. Imma touch your heart when I said this, you are not the strongest soldier, so pick it up and keep it pushing. Because this victim mentality is making you act sour with people around you. I’m afraid to announce it to you, but you are the bad energy, you are the negative vibes rn. Hold on, before you click off this reading after this beautiful drag (you must admit…) is you have too much potential. And is pissing me off that you are allowing it to slip away from your hands. You are capable of standing strong on your boundaries and to create an amazing plan. That’s some qualities one will take a lifetime to master and you are born with it. Don’t become forceful, be the amazing leader you are meant to be. Don’t give up ! You will be rewarded in your finances/career. Finish what you started. The worst is that you know all that already. What’s funny is that you keep saying you don’t care, but your mind screams for it, your soul keeps reminding you that it wants it and your pinterest ain’t giving up on the vision yet.  Do do everyone a favor and go get it.  Do a deep life clean so you can make room for some new energy. Reflect on your life choices.

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Super shy -Newjeans

PILE 2 

Death (reverse) , ace cups, magician (reverse), emperor

You were meant to read this. Now ! Right now is giving the biggest scam in history just like what’s happening in your life. I’m hearing the tiktok that goes ‘’ Ok now, where’s the camera now. I must be getting prank now’’. The reality…you don’t want to move on.  You yearn for a past that ain’t never coming back. You also don’t want to deal with anything that can trigger you. But you can’t claim you heal, if you have the same reaction when the universe sends you variation of the same problem. And isolating ain’t going to help your case. But the universe finally got the message. Lucky you, you are getting to send a friend. Someone that will bring the sun back into your life. That person will trigger you (in a good and necessary way ) and she will not allow you to sabotage the way of y’all friendship. I’m understanding : poor timing, don’t have resources, cocky, delulu, personality disorder, force = I think you are going to have a Karen moment in a shop close to your house. She is going to trigger a crisis in you. Instead of looking at you like you are crazy, like most people do. That person will play along. Y’all going to be 2 crazy bitches in the store. And instead of feeling cornered, you will weirdly feel valited because usually when you act out people call you crazy. You just found another crazy person. Everytime will go back into the store, she will always be there. You will try to avoid her , but nah she will jockly always go to you. That person will grow on you. I’m feeling the opposite aesthetic. I see her being a bimbo and loving it and you our little emo angel. Honestly, I fell in love with her energy while channeling her. I was trying so hard to stay serious but nah, I ended up having a dance break. How can u notlove her, she’s a sweetheart. Girl, you might THINK, that you ain’t doing enough. But your spirit guard, the universe, anyone that allows themself to see more than what you project and I can assure that you are on top of your game. Especially after everything you went through and put up with. Keep your focus and discipline. You got this babe ! I’m proud of you ! When you are ready, let go of the version of you that no longer serves you. You don’t need to pay the price of your mistakes. 

I’m hearing: ‘’ You deserve this friendship’’ 

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POP - NAYEON

PILE 3 

Knight swords, ace pentacles (reversed), seven cups, High priestess, 1313 

Everything was fine until it wasn’t. When did it all go so wrong? It happened so unexpectedly. The only thing left standing is your BFF/sister. You never thought life would take u off overnight. I’m hearing you failed some important exams or your parents are very good but they badly gambled the finances and you have to pay the price for it. The truth is … it is always in front of your face. It’s been a while that you have been seeing and feeling that your studying routine is not working for you. But prefer to pretend that is everything else but what’s ahead of you. You always had a feeling that your parents were awful with money but did not dare to try to know how badly. Is not too late…yet. For a while now you pretend to be happy. Thinking that the more you fake it, you will finally feel it. Now you are down bad emotionally. You never thought you would ever be there. Babe is the the time to give in into distraction. Now you need to pull the rag under your feet and face your fears. You want to know what happiness is really about. You know it is time to do some deep healing. To question your self belief. From the silliest question to the most disturbing. ‘’Is my fav color really red ? What do I actually think about the government ? ‘’ You need some shadow work. Is not the time to act, is the time pounder. Also is your life. Babe nobody is behind you. If you want to take 1 year or 1 month at the crossroad nobody is coming for you. As long as you are confident about your choice. Is time to start fresh ! Step out of your comfort zone. You will learn a new skill that will get you some abundance and recognition. Be confident and trust in your decision. 

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What is love - TWICE

[nayatarot777]

what strengths do you have that are not acknowledged by you?

subscribe to the patreon if you’d like to :)

• pile one •

it seems like in situations of complete chaos and disaster, your independence immediately kicks in. you know what to do and operate from your intuition which influences your actions and how you approach dealing with messy situations. i’m also hearing that you yourself will burn some shit down if you need to lmao. sometimes you don’t even know why but it’s because whatever it is has been keeping you in the dark, away from your own strengths. you intuitively pick up on that and know when connections with people, things, and places need to go. you know how to cross a bridge and acknowledge any illusions and truths that may have been hidden prior. you guys do a whole lot of self work too, and i don’t think that you realise just how much you invest energetically into yourself. this tearing shit down might be in relation to yourself - you know when aspects of you gotta go 😂. you use chaos as a tool to push yourself forward (you could do well with chaos magic for my witches and practitioners out there).

you’re not someone with control issues. if something is clearly crumbling, you don’t try to cling onto it and prolong your pain unnecessarily. you understand that nobody’s holding you at gun point to settle for chaotic people and situations, so you move accordingly. period. you’re extremely nurturing, caring, etc - but that doesn’t mean that you allow yourself to act like a fool in the name of love or caring about someone. you know how to also implement your own boundaries and do what’s best for you. because you have unconditional love for yourself - or more love for yourself than for the people and situations that cause a ruckus in your life. when things go wrong, you put yourself into a state of acceptance and receive the lessons that you need to from these situations. you take responsibility and accountability for the part that you play in the crumbling of connections and situations. meaning that you’re not someone who acts like a complete victim to life and to everyone around you. you know that certain things in your life wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t play a part and allow them to develop when they clearly weren’t built on stable foundations in the first place. even if someone else does you wrong, you will still ask yourself “wtf is wrong with me and my actions/mindset/standards that helped aid in this bs happening? why did i continue to feed into this? why did i settle for this?”.

you hold onto stability internally for yourself, therefore that reflects in the physical in some way. whether that be through your finances or some other area of your practical life. you listen to your intuition that helps to protect everything valuable that you’ve already accumulated for yourself already. you also don’t over-extend. mfs may have tried (and failed) to make you feel selfish for this but you understand that they’re just mad that you won’t let yourself be used as a charity case for leeches. you’re receptive to your higher self when it steps in to protect you from certain people. even if they’re people who your ego doesn’t want to necessarily let go of, you’ll let it happen for the sake of your own self-preservation, which is how it should be. you’re loving and caring and nurturing but not out of desperation for love and acceptance. not to receive that back for yourself in order to fill a void. this isn’t self-serving love and nurture for others out of a state of lack. this is out of pure genuine intentions. you’re fulfilled alone and you’d like to fulfil others where possible. however, if you ain’t getting wtf you deserve back, you dip and go back to just focusing on yourself. you don’t let your energy be easily accessible to energetically vampiric people.

• pile two •

your strengths are related to your belief systems and your life philosophies. you know how to be your own mentor and how to give yourself the knowledge that you need - mostly about yourself. this seems to be how you maintain your internal peace. you don’t gain much peace from knowledge given to you from outside of yourself, and that doesn’t mean that you can’t find valuable information from others, but you know that you have a direct connection to the divine of your own. you also know how to manifest and persist in manifesting whatever you want over the course of a long time. and whereas other people would grow impatient, you stay balanced and understanding that what you want is in the process of being given to you. you don’t let much in your external life fuck with your internal state of being. and there’s a repetition of patience throughout this whole spread. you don’t force anything. i’m also hearing that you know how to navigate traditional expectations and structures in society through your own methods. it’s like you don’t fit into society and what they want, but it seems like you do from the outside, so you go under the radar or something like that.

you value your own beliefs and morals over what other people may try to enforce onto you, and this results in a very stable sense of self. you know what you stand for based on your own viewpoints and opinions, so you’re not prone to easily falling for feeding into other people’s expectations of you. you’ve also made your own safe space according to how you want your life to be structured and it’s not easy for others to have influence over this or to even be let in. you guys could also allow your shadow as an energy of protection. you could have lilith or pluto in the first house or something like that. but your shadow is clear to see to other people, especially to those who try to take something of yours that’s quite valuable to you (whether that’s money, time, or something else). thanks to this, you see what you need to and i believe that people view you as someone who people can’t really get anything past. also, when you’re tending to your work (whatever that may be) you’re able to redirect your path to one with less challenges when you encounter blockages on the path that you’re on. it seems like this is quite easy for you, or like it’s easy for you to maintain momentum + motivation with what you invest energy into.

you’re able to learn a lot about the physical realm and how to feel complete within it. even when others would expect you to feel some type of lack, it seems like you understand what’s truly valuable to you. your version of abundance may be heavily different to other people’s version - your abundance is felt metaphorically - and you could reject what the world tells people regarding what to prioritise and what’s important (like earthly riches). you could find more value in your family, teachings from family members like your grandparents for some of you in particular, and that’s what has you feeling like you always have a stable foundation in your life. where other people would only ever feel stable through finances, you feel stable through the faith that you hold. you also know how to dissect your mental state when you’re dealing with some mental conflict, leading you to single out the mindsets that actually serve you and discard the rest. your mind seems to be constantly changing for the sake of becoming more grounded in reality, so maybe that’s something that you feel like you struggle with usually. but you’re doing it! a lot of you could have earth signs in your big three.

[honestsilasbirchtree]

June 15, 1952

The waffle house had been nameless for the entire eight years it had been in operation so far. Lizzie Dixon, 22, had been working there for three of those years. She could now begin preparing orders based on the sound of the cars pulling up and the tops of hats and hairdos that she could see through the blinds.

All of her lunchtime regulars were currently in, the dishwasher was out for a "smoke" again, and absolutely nothing was going to surprise her. She thought about dropping a milkshake glass for the hell of it.

"The back of that greasy kid's head looks like it could use some sparkle! Why don't you give it a hurl!"

Lizzie jumped at the sudden loud voice by her ear and dropped the glass, just missing her foot. The shards scattered. "Oh-! Oh no, no..." The dishwasher, finally back behind the counter, turned around at the sound. "Whoa, Lizzie, what happened?"

"Where have you been?" Lizzie snapped. "Don't just-- careful stepping through, oh, come on, get a broom or something, I have to take this gentleman's order--" She turned back to find herself face to face with a pale stranger in a suit and hat.

"Shucks, you missed!" he continued. "Better luck next time, huh?"

Lizzie allowed herself a smirk at that. "I might like that, but I like working here more, I'm afraid."

"Oh, you do?" said the stranger. His voice seemed strangely loud and shrill no matter what volume he was speaking at. "I see, got to comfort yourself somehow after your big audition flopped. Don't worry, that whole rodeo will fold a year from now anyway! BIG shooting malfunction! You're better off out of the, haha, line of fire! Trust me!"

Lizzie's eyes flicked over to the ad taking up most of the far wall at the end of counter--a flirtatious blonde cowgirl, SLUGGER COFFEE, 'Start Your Day Like a Shot!' She really hoped he was talking about cameras. "...I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Silas Birchtree, travelling salesman and so much more!" he doffed his hat. (For a moment, she heard some kind of buzzing.) She could see his eyes better now, wide and avid to a near painful looking degree, just like his smile. "Now, Lizzie, can I just say--"

"Hey!" A redheaded young man wearing a blazer in an unfortunate color took a seat at the bar. "Is this fella bothering you, Liz?"

"She hasn't been interested since you called her "Lizard" the first day of junior high, Chris!" the newcomer shot back. Heads all through the establishment were turning. "Take your comedy act somewhere else! I'd suggest the middle of the road, but if this one horse town ever gets anything resembling actual traffic, I'll eat that horse myself!"

Lizzie wanted to sink into the floor. Chris flushed red and balled up his hands. "Why don't you get bent, you creep! Who d'you think y--"

"Hey, ain't you supposed to be dead?" an old farmer at the other end of the counter called out. "We had a burial and everything, I saw." This set the gathering crowd murmuring.

Birchtree flashed a megawatt grin his way. "Normal human man, right here!" He thumped his chest hard. "Aren't you supposed to be cutting back on the drink, Ray? Then again, the doctor has bills to pay, too! Wanna bet you can help finance his new car?"

Ray's brow furrowed. "Say, how'd you know all that? What new car?"

"An excellent question! My unearthly knowledge comes from above!" Birchtree threw his arms wide, shouting to the whole restaurant. "An all-knowing entity of awesome power has chosen me to be his herald! He's seen your mistakes! He watches your dreams! He foresees the terrible way that you will die, yes, each and every one of you!" Now he was standing on the counter, with a sea of open-mouthed faces around him. "All of these secrets and more I will share with you rubes, if! You! Follow me outside!"

He stepped down from the counter and strode out the door, a throng following him out and down the street to Orchard Lake's central square. Lizzie let herself out from behind the counter to join them, still trailing broken glass underfoot.

"Hey, where are you going?" the dishwasher shouted after her. "Hey! Lizzie! What are you doing? Come back!"

[cxnevr]

Once in a blue moon: blessings coming your way + compliments!

hi everyone!! in honour of the upcoming blue moon in pisces, i have prepared a PAC on the blessings coming your way this blue moon, together with some compliments from my tarot deck. i hope this reading resonates and thank you for your support!!

pick a pile from down below (1-4, from top to bottom, and left to right)

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

readings begin below this line

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

pile one:

hi pile one!! here’s your reading for this blue moon:

blessings this blue moon: there’s definitely a change coming in this full moon. you may have prominent pisces/12th house placements, as that’s the sign the full moon is happening in this month. i think your blessings may come to you in the form of your intuition. does that make sense? i have a feeling that the blessings that you’re getting this full moon may have something to do with the information you receive through your intuition. i’m also hearing that you may have to travel to places and that this travel may bring you money? (i thought this would be short term travel but then the song, “overseas” started playing so that might be a sign too. take it as a sign if it resonates.) at the very least, positive changes may come through regarding your finances. (note: this may not necessarily mean that you will be getting money, it could also mean that you learn something that may bring you more money/help you manage your finances better)

compliments from the deck: hm… i feel as though you’ve recently been through a tower moment involving certain people in your life. this could be friends, partners, family members too. whatever it is, the deck wants you to know that you did a really good job handling the issue in a peaceful and diplomatic manner. i do see that some kind of conflict may have been present in this situation and that it may have led you to defend someone/led someone to defend you. you handled things in a manner that was diplomatic and fair, taking into account the emotions of the different parties before making any decisions involving everyone. whatever the case may be, balance is definitely being restored to these connections and justice is being restored, and moving forward, there will be many more opportunities for much more harmonious and balanced connections to enter your life, if you allow it to.

thank you for reading, pile one!! i hope you enjoyed your reading and i’ll see you again next time!

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

pile two:

hi pile two!! welcome to your reading for this blue moon:

blessings this blue moon: have you been dealing with some brain fog recently? if you have, i see that going away around this full moon. your situational awareness or ability to perceive the things around you may be sharpened and heightened. i feel like you may be in the process of learning; i’m not sure if this is a pile chosen by lots of students or if you’re just picking up a new skill this month, but that is what i’m getting for you. if you are in school and have just taken some exams or are preparing to do so soon, i see that you may emerge victorious— whatever that means to you. however, a word of advice; do not procrastinate. it’s best to do things now and settle issues while it’s still manageable, rather than delaying it and letting it rot into a bigger mess. you may also be under the spotlight soon, this could be in the form or popularity, or praise, but i do see that there will be recognition for your efforts and strengths this full moon. good job, pile two!

compliments from the deck: the deck really admires your ability to balance your energy well. your go-getter, fiery, and action-oriented nature is well balanced with your emotional, and peaceful side. i think you’re very good at going after what you want, and then remembering to set some time aside to heal and recharge through self-care later on. you’re also very strategic with where you spend your energy, and i do see that being one of your greatest strengths. also, i’m not sure if this resonates, but if you are currently in a relationship/ talking stage/ situationship, the deck seems to be praising you for it…? in a playful manner, almost. i see that this might be because you made the first move and you seem to have flustered the other person a little. it’s cute, i hope it works out well for the both of you!

note: you might have been feeling dissatisfied recently, mourning the loss of something or the lack of something. the deck is telling you to look at things from a different perspective. try a different approach. reflect on how far you’ve come or help out someone who may be stuck in a similar position you were in previously.

thank you pile two!! i hope you have a lovely week ahead and i’ll see you again soon!!

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

pile three:

hi pile three, welcome back! here’s your reading for the upcoming blue moon:

blessings this blue moon: you may have recently dealt with some kind of heartbreak in which you were treated unfairly by a certain group of people. i see you finally gaining the strength to fight back and stand up for yourself. this full moon, you may be releasing a lot of blockages and negative energy. this could be done emotionally, but i feel like your method of releasing this stagnant and negative energy may be done more physically, as in; cutting your hair, clearing up certain places in your home, burning something (?). i see you getting a chance to kind of “reinvent” yourself. you’re learning to leave behind things that no longer serve you, as difficult as it may be. you may feel as though you’ve been reborn after this, and this will definitely be a win in your book. i’m wishing you all the best with your growth!!

compliments from the deck: pile three, you’re good at making feel at home and safe. you make people feel warm inside and welcome, and i’m hearing that hanging out with you makes people feel as though they’re at some sort of a family celebration? you’re good at building a home (physically, emotionally) for people, and i feel like that’s a very valuable trait of yours. you may also be introverts and i think the releasing you’re doing this full moon may bring you some discomfort because of your possible need to withdraw into yourself. but this is necessary, pile three, and i believe that you have the strength to go through this in order to better yourself and grow. i’m also seeing this talent for managing finances and being practical with your belongings. i don’t think this is a strength you consciously use as much, it’s just a skill that comes naturally to you.

pile three, i wish you all the best with your growth and i’ll see you again soon!

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

pile four:

hi pile four!! here’s your reading for the upcoming blue moon:

blessings this blue moon: pile four, you are definitely being blessed this full moon. i feel there are certain changes that will be happening in your life but nothing major, just some endings and new beginnings in your life, things that i feel won’t shake up your stability too much. you’ve either prepared yourself for these changes or it’s just a cyclical change that’s happening here. i actually see a really positive home environment, and even the possibility of some romance in your life. if not romance, then just really balanced and harmonious relationships with your loved ones. you may feel really grateful for what you have during this time, and you’re really just so satisfied and happy with your life around this time. this might require a bit of a tw but if you guys have ever been a through a period of your life where you just weren’t in the most positive frame of mind or you were in a difficult mental state, i see that this upcoming time period may be a time where you kind of experience this moment of peace and tranquillity with where you are right now, and remain grateful that you chose to continue pushing forward in life.

compliments from the deck: the deck is proud of you and your ability to handle difficult changes with grace. i feel like you may have gone through many things in life that have taught you how to be okay with changes, no matter how sudden or heavy. you have learnt to find peace within yourself or through yourself, and i feel like you have also learnt to help others as well. you are a generous soul that is so open to helping others out because you might have experienced things that taught you to have kindness and compassion towards people, including strangers and those who may even be mean/harsh on you. i love your energy pile four, and i’m happy that will be experiencing such happy events in the upcoming days.

i hope this resonated and i’ll see you again soon!!

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

thank you guys for reading!! please leave a like or reblog this post if it resonated with you and i’ll see you all again very soon!!

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

[aydaptic]

as some one who struggles with depression and wants to be more involved in my passions and fandom but can’t because capitalism and depression I want to say that I genuinely love how passionate you are with your projects and interests

your like, not to be cheesy or anything but, one of my favorite creators/artists of all time,

your doing great, extra kudos to it all <3

Thank you so phcking much 😘

I relate. That might be hard to believe at 1st -- as I'm very active with my Reed900 WebComic -- but believe me... the situation allowing me to do this is temporary.

It started off as me working on my WebComic whenever I could whilst being a student with limited free time. I failed the class resulting in me essentially being 'free' for almost a year. I could start to focus on fanart then as I had student loans to give me some time. Ofc I have to start paying those student loans back soon.

Currently, I can only do this bc I have an incredible mother who lets me live at her place for free while I earn enough money to pay those loans. Since she knows about my struggles (depression, social anxiety, difficulty in expressing myself, etc.) she wants me to take as long as I need. Don't know where I'd be without her.

I'm also fortunate to get almost 20 bucks a month from generous ppl supporting me with donations. "20 bucks" might not sound like much to anyone but me, but if it weren't for them, I couldn't have begun to work on my future Reed900 TV series. It's just enough to finance a monthly subscription software I have to use for it.

That series is the only way I can legally earn money for my Reed900 work -- bc it'll happen through ad revenue/sponsors -- as taking payment for fanart is illegal. So I'm playing the (legal) long game. Until I get the 1st trailer out, and reach the standards YouTube requires for monetization, I'm not benefitting from anything Reed900. Aside from the joy of making the work itself and interacting with readers/viewers.

I appreciate your kind words and hope it gets better for you soon!

[oyeicher]

Decided to turn my late-night ramblings on Starstruck into an actual post for the three people who might be interested in a little bit more of Yoojae's characterization in the source material. Yoojae reacted poorly to Hanjoon's confession, to say the least, but the novel gives much more insight into why Yoojae reacted the way that he did.

Now the show didn't really explain how Yoojae found out where Hanjoon lived, but in the novel, Yoojae goes to see Hanjoon at his old home the day before the college entrance exam to give him something, only to be told by the landlord that Hanjoon and his mom moved out ages ago. The next day, after the college entrance exam, Yoojae goes to see the owner of the boxing club, who has been feeding Hanjoon meals because he doesn't have enough money for his meals. It is the boxing club owner who fills Yoojae in about Hanjoon's current predicament.

After Yoojae says, "Don't try to preserve your dignity in front of me," to Hanjoon, he also says the following:

Throughout high school, I often went to school hungry, so you invited me to your home to eat. This happened countless times. Why did you do so? Wasn't it because we're friends? So why can't I do the same for you? Why is it that I am allowed to rely on you, but you can't rely on me? If things are difficult, just say so. What's so difficult about that?

Both of them grew up in poverty in the same neighborhood so neither are strangers to not having enough money to buy food. However, while Yoojae's family has made a small fortune and moved into an apartment in a fancier neighborhood, Hanjoon and his mom have been kicked out of their home. Nevertheless, having been through similar situations himself, Yoojae is painfully aware of what it's like to be so poor as to go without meals, as well as not wanting to be seen as a charity case and pitied by others. Thus, after Yoojae's family escapes poverty, Yoojae treats Hanjoon the same as he always has, save for small things like occasionally buying a few snacks and offering to pay for Hanjoon at the comic cafe. Yoojae did not want to tell Hanjoon about his family's newfound wealth on account of Hanjoon's family's finances. Especially after witnessing his parents show off to everyone, Yoojae had no desire at all to show off or even tell others about his family's wealth. As for Hanjoon, he did not want to be a downer about his own situation in the face of Yoojae's "good fortune."

Both of them do what they think is in the other's best interests, but they still struggle to understand where the other is coming from. Moreover, a lot of Yoojae's thoughts and experiences on love and relationships seem to reflect what he has witnessed from his parents, who constantly fight and blame one another. At times, they also force him to take sides. Therefore, it's no wonder that he has such a warped view of love and relationship. And this isn't even taking into account the internalized homophobia that others have mentioned as well.

Hanjoon loves Yoojae so much, and has loved him for so long, that he takes the opportunity to express his love to Yoojae through an expensive heart-shaped box of chocolates, under the pretense of wishing Yoojae good luck on the college entrance exam. We see how happy Hanjoon is to buy the box of chocolates and give them to Yoojae, and then how crushed he is when Yoojae throws it on the floor. But all Yoojae sees is that Hanjoon spent money he doesn't have on the fancy chocolates.

Yoojae reacted poorly, there's no question about that. However, I do think that the rest of the dialogue, which was cut from the show episode 4, gives more insight into what was going on in Yoojae’s mind at the time. [edit: portions of this dialogue were in episode 5]

Are you threatening me?

Are you saying that if I don’t go out with you, I won’t be able to see you ever again? How could you say something like that to me?

You must have known that there was no way that I would ever agree to something as ridiculous as that. So why did you say it to me? Are you really going to never see me again? Are you really going to give me up just for that sort of reason?

Contact me once you’ve sorted out your feelings.

My interpretation is that Yoojae viewed Hanjoon's confession as emotional blackmail of some kind, which coupled with his own confusion regarding his feelings toward Hanjoon, led him to react even more strongly. All this is to say that yes, Yoojae was behaving like an immature teenager, but his life experiences shaped him to be that imperfect person, and he wasn't simply being a jerk just for the hell of it.

That's all I have to say about Starstruck for now and if you're still reading this, thank you for reading my word vomit💕

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 10

Happy mid season episode! I am saddened by the fact that I work on Wednesdays because I will be late to watch fhjy until the forseeable future. If anyone cares though I plan on buying the adya statuette next week if my finances allow for it :3 also I am so tired rn but I NEED to watch fhjy

Do you guys think ayda will appear in this episode after her statuette was released last week? (Praying)

tttaking over teenage rebellion!

Lucy Frostblade... You were just a girl. You didn't deserve everything that happened to you

"We're feeling bad. But we're feeling... Hopefully positive."

stress isn't always the bed guy

Aelwyn!

big old burned down house

Cottoncandy Bitchfuck

"I'm.... Bored. That's not true. I'm not bored at all. I'm just tired."

Hindesight is 50/50

"Oh I love this. Tell me all about it."

Siobhan is loving Aelwyn rn

"I do sometimes believe in you"

"So Sentimental"

Aelwyn and Adaine are so important to me their sibling relationship is everything

AELWYN AND ADAINE NOT BEING USED TO NICENESS

"Oh, my sweet little boy is sick!"

"just don't tell fab— don't tell anyone my apartment looks like this"

The Gukgak

I'm the Gukgak guy!

"Oh, Riz, you have to sleep, Kiddo." "I can't, mom, I don't have time." Oh Riz....

Framed?

Riz is so exhausted

It's been an hour and a half and his mom has chips and a drink 😭😭

"Mom, you have to be so careful."

"Keep my name out of your mouth." FIG 😭😭

"it's all good, mom"

yulenear

"Fig has like 3 majors now" "maybe 4, i might take a level of wizard."

"Kristen Applebees, believe it or not." "... huh." HWHHWKWNEB

"You both keep my name out of your mouth."

"It's been our month!"

Lola Embers recommended Gorgug's place??

"Mom I'm going to go to Loam farm."

*shrug* "mom." *shrug*

"We're having a rough one." "GOT 'EM."

"I'll do it." Fig cleric teacher?!?!

TAMAGOTCHI. MaryAnn my beloves

The puppet master!

"Ha Ha! Darling Girl!"

Gilear is king for the day

"My mom called you?"

"I don't need a ride to school anymore"

"I believe she's wanted here."

BUSINESS CLASS FOR CLOACA

"Can I say hi??"

NOOOOOOO NOOO SHE HUNG UP BEFORE FABIAN COULD ANSWER

That's so devastating

Coffee all over the DM screen

Yeah they haven't addressed the fact that fig is cursed

Pussy out, tits away

Theres so much going on

ohhh they might be sacrificing the rats

"I'm wearing a sports bra and a G-string, and I want to be closer with all of you."

Fabian with Mazey is so painful. He's so flustered and awkward I love him

MAZEY TRUSTS FABIAN

"I'm here, for you."

"Kristen was in a mood."

NOO DON'T KILL MAZEY SAVE HER FABIAN

Fried rice

SHE LEANS IN TO MAKE OUT

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSIJG

"Wait, they don't like us??"

"When you think about me, why do you always bring up the ball?"

SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE'S OKAY BECAUSE HE'S ALOne

oh Fabian...,...........

"The legend continues."

"I was going to get a tattoo, actually."

"Even if you weren't maximum legend, I would still wanna hang out with you." MAZEEYYYYY 😭😭😭😭

BOGGY

Absence of divinity???

THE GOD'S DOMAIN CHANGED OVER TIME????

RUVINA'S SIBLING??

The gift is only mentioned in old texts??

"Well I guess I'll go to work."

Basrar is dead

"Literally your circus, literally your monkeys."

Tips are bad

RODEO MODE

THE MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR A SPEECH???

NOOO NAT ONE

Check the soil kids

Lydia mention 🔥🔥🔥

Kristen holds so much hostility for Kalina 😭😭

Oh Lydia...

AV club mention

THIRTY ROLL 🔥🔥🔥🔥

The powerhouse of the cell

Aggression and protectiveness

7 becomes a 21?!?!!

?!?!?!?!?! SOMETHING COMING OUT OF HER CHEST???

22 Arcana, 25 religion

Elemental alignment???

Fiendish things going on

Yellow gold

Kinda like the pride of armor and lemon yogurt

PISS CURSE????

Ratgrinders sticker

"I don't get angry, I think I get sad sometimes" me too buddy, me too

Sometimes a spell comes out and obliterates people

Comedy of errors

Autopilot

Bobby Dawn and Pam Dawn

Bobby Dawn coming to Aguefort sounds like a bad thing

"I'll never let you do that."

"Yours only came back once." *middle finger* Kristen Applebees you will always be famous

A+ in paladin classes!

"Sorry! Get away from me"

Reasons he won't divulge???

A+ in all classes!!!

THREE PARAGRAPH ESSAY? NOOO ABOUT SADNESS AND DISAPPOINTMENT NOOOOO

FIG NAT 20 FOR THE INSIGHT 😭

Zara is gorgeous

The days of Goldenhoard is over 😭😭

"MY GOD IS KRISTEN????"

Oh my god I almost prophesied this when I said Kristen would become a cleric/warlock of Fig.... instead Fig is the warlock/paladin of Kristen 😭😭😭

I'm the closest thing to a prophet holy shit

New god, agreement, todo list

Complicated Women: Lucy Frostblade 😭😭

NAT 20 DECEPTION FOR WANDA CHILDA

Oh my god

"Frick. I'm so sorry." "I'm not." Wanda Childa

GET MY ROCKS OFF TO 😭😭

"I'm off the grid that's why I only have an iPod"

God... Wanda Childa

rubby46@sol.com

"Do you want me to get you a phone?"

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE"

"I want to do relationships with Riz."

Medal of Wit

LITTLE METAL BRIEFCASE

You absolutely sweetie

29 performance 🔥🔥

GARTY O'BRIEN MENTION 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Naked Kristen. Again.

Oh god Fabian is at 4 at his second roll

"Breaker Breaker, this is Fabian Seacaster, looking for his papa, Bill Seacaster, somewhere out there in the nine hells............"

This is so heartbreaking... Fabian...

Oh Fabian...

His papa.....

He probably feels so lonely

Rage token.....

This rage token is making me take a stress token

Everyone single one has been bad

FABIAN TAKING THE BARDIC FROM FIG

Constitution saving throw???

oh no

oh no

oh no

"I shit myself"

I CAN'T BRWATHE

"I've only been eating leftovers"

UNNAMED BARD STUDENT NO

QUINCY NO

DID QUINCY TAKE A RAGE TOKEN?

THAT'S IT????

oh my god

[rebelandrichgirl]

Lützerath

I thought about not writing this to save my nerves but in this corner of the internet we ramble on about THE REBELLION 24 hours a day and German police in full riot gear wear white helmets that makes them look scaringly like stormtroopers, so I feel like this belongs here.

The village of Lützerath in Germany close to the German/Dutch/Belgian border is supposed to make way for brown coal open cast mining.

It’s the company RWE (Rheinisch-Westfälisches-Elektrizitätswerk) who wants to do this. The legal basis for this is that you get the permit to resettle whole towns and villages if it’s necessary to reach natural resources and brown coal is considered to be that.

The RWE needs the brown coal to burn it in their power plants, however it’s a long standing decision that Germany wants to fade out the use of coal for electricity anyway since there are alternatives and using coal (especially brown coal) actually needs to be highly subsidised to be cost-effective. Aside from the obvious CO2-problem.

The RWE just wants to use the last years where they are even allowed to do this to make as much money as possible before they have to close down anyway.

The original inhabitants of Lützerath have already been resettled. The village is currently occupied by climate activists. Their eviction seems to be starting soon.

I grew up kind of in the region and was there during Christmas. I have actually thought about going there, but I have obligatory stuff at uni, missing that would basically lead to me losing a year… So well… Reality check of my finances… I went back to my university… (Yes, I do feel the need to justify why I’m not there…)

I don’t think there is a realistic chance that they actually will succeed against the massive police forces that will get there. It’s just a question of how long it takes, how violent it gets and how much PUBLICITY it will create…

There is a lot you can do even if you don’t want to freeze your ass off and get dragged away by the police in the end.

Take a look at https://www.alle-doerfer-bleiben.de/ and at Instagram https://www.instagram.com/luetzibleibt/

When I looked for English information about this, I discovered that there is hardly anything. Except for the English language sections on the links above.

The only thing in foreign press I found was the “Photos of the week” of CNN, which actually has one picture from Lützrath and a two sentence caption.

If you happen to have an uncle or something who’s working for a newspaper or news channel somewhere… Wouldn’t this be a cool story…?

If you happen to live in North-Rhine-Westphalia ask your friends and family which company they get their electricity from. Many people in the region actually do have contracts with RWE. Make them change their electricity provider.

And no, they are not cheaper than other companies! Coal is fucking ineffective these days! Even money isn’t a reason anymore to stick to that company!

And yes, I know, compared to the struggle in Iran and a lot of other stuff going on on this world, this might seem like a joke, but this just hits close to home for me.

And in the end it's part of the fight against climate change which will decide whether or not we will be able to still live on this planet on the long run, so maybe it's not a joke after all...

Thanks for reading!

[chattegeorgiana]

Hey Chatte, hope all is well and I hope you are having a good holiday season. I saw on your other socials you adopted a dog congrats!

I wanted to say that I am at a good place where i can donate regularly finally for the manga publication and that hope everything IRL is going in a positive direction.

One last point I wanted to pick your brain about is what aspect of Sauske and Karin’s relationship you can’t wait to dive into /write about in Saisei? (Without spoilers) and on their kids that you have show cased in the past can you tell us anything about you comfortable sharing?

That’s all for now I hope you enjoy your holiday season and new year. I look forward to all that you will bring us in 2025.

Hi dear!

I’m doing good. Incredibly busy with all the things that are happening IRL & the new rescue you saw on my Instagram stories, but my heart is full & I’m at peace, so that’s that.

I am behind on all my creative projects tho, but it is what it is. After all, IRL will always take priority. And having saved this new doggo, my priority right now is to take care of him & offer him all the love I can possibly offer.

I mean look at his lovely muzzle ❤️

When I see him so peaceful, my heart fills.

I will still be busy these coming months because I have another rescue, Bruno, that we saved, so I’ll have to take both boys to training because I just want them to have a peaceful living together.

It’s quite a responsibility to take over, but our hearts just didn’t allow us to not do something about it, given that both boys were basically abandoned, my family & I want to do our best to offer them a peaceful life.

And while this might take a little while longer, I’m confident that after things will settle down, I will be able to return safely to my creative projects & focus on them.

The last two years have been crazy, honestly. I had to move two times from different counties, I had to travel a lot, I had to undertake all these adult things, haha. On top of that, another bit change happened in my life where my parents also moved closer where I live now, so you can imagine how crazy it all is to do such a move at their age, along with the 4 doggos we had there and one over here, haha.

It’s like in written in the stars for me to get doggos either I want it or not (newsflash: if I could, I’d adopt them all, which is why probably the Universe/God/whatever you wanna call it sends abandoned souls my family and I’s way, haha), but I don’t mind it cuz the love just multiplies.

Anywaaaay, I talked so much about doggos, lemme stop there, lol.

As for your help, like always, know that I appreciate it, in any way or shape. 🙏 Not gonna lie, now with having all these dogs, it is like an extra financial effort, which is why the commissions haven’t been so frequent like previously, besides the fact that I was busy. I’ll need to readjust my finances now to see how I can keep doing what I do.

But despite this whirlwind in my life with all these moving & readjusting elements, it does feel like life is going in a positive direction so fingers crossed I can optimise my new life to be able to properly get back on my creative track.

As for your question regarding SasuKarin’s relationship & the kids, one aspect I can’t wait to write about is the reconnection between the two and the ups & downs of them trying to mend that relationship, especially from the POV of both being the last survivors of their respective clans (which is basically a foil to Naruto & Sasuke’s one).

As for the kids, I had one idea I initially wanted to use for Kosen for Akari (the SasuKarin kid in that universe), but we ended up giving it up, so then I really want to explore it in Kaika.

Without giving too many spoilers all I can say is these two keywords: reality & identity. These will be the themes I’d like to treat with them.

With that being said, thank you once again for your kind message and wishes. I wish you a magical time for holidays & let’s hope for a better 2025 for all of us!

I’ll do my best to get to my creative projects as soon as possible!

Much love,

Chatte

[afinepricklypear]

November 2024 - Update

Hello.

It’s been a while since I’ve put anything here. When last I was here, I was in a downward spiral, that much is clear. I tried to be reassuring and then I ghosted everyone. Which I know never feels good, whether it’s an IRL person or an online persona you only know through their words on a screen. I’m sorry. I’m alive.

I could say that the aftermath from Covid and the lockdowns hit me just as hard as everyone else and leave it at that, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Things started down a dark path before that. Politics in my country were getting…weird. Now they’re just outright scary. I needed to make personal life decisions too, regarding career and finances. I hadn’t made any headway in original creative projects. I lacked discipline or motivation or confidence to pursue what had been my dream since the fifth grade: to be a creative writer.

Then right before Covid happened, my friend died. I got a text message from him on Christmas morning, 2019, that he was waiting for surgery. They’d found a tumor in his brain. He was on the other side of the country. I couldn’t go to him. And I couldn’t say good-bye. Especially not through text message. So I didn’t, instead I made sure that he was surrounded by family and friends, and I drank the entire night and overexaggerated how ‘okay’ I was doing, while telling no one close to me what was happening.

A couple weeks later he was gone. He was an amazing person. Beautiful, sweet, and kind. He found good in everyone, he treated everyone like a friend, and everyone that met him loved him because all he gave of himself was love. My Odasaku, if you will. And as if the world knew that it should be mourning his loss, it shut down.

This is about the time I started writing the Release series. I’m always surprised and happy to hear when people say it helped them through things, whether it got them through the pandemic or other struggles in their lives. I guess in retrospect, it was my own therapy. More an escape. A way to run away from everything awful and disappointing about my ‘real’ world. I threw myself into it more than any other fanfiction or fandom I’d been a part of. BSD was the first fandom I wrote for on AO3, before that I used FF.net. AO3 is structured in a way that allowed me to build relationships with readers. I started this Tumblr, trying to form some semblance of a community. I wanted to feel like this was different.

It worked, until it didn’t.

It’s not the first fanfic I’ve left unfinished. If I look at my body of work, over the years and years and years (over 20) I’ve been doing this, the stories came to me when I needed them. All at once, the words and emotions would surge up. I’d find a kindred spirit in the character or characters I wrote about. For months or a year or two, they might sit at the surface of my consciousness, pouring out of me, like an endless fountain. Only to dry up just as suddenly and without much warning. It wasn’t because I didn’t need them anymore. It was because the problems I was using them to run away from would finally catch up.

I’d get restless. I’d convince myself that my life isn’t going where I need it, I’m falling behind, so I’d scramble to catch up, try to rededicate myself towards a finish line, not even knowing where it was, which direction, or what that finish line would even be. I’d try to refocus on original works, because I want to be a writer. The thing they don’t tell you about fanfiction, however, is that it’s junk food for the creative soul. It’s easy and convenient to write for, because the heavy lifting of character creation and world building is already done. The more fanfiction I wrote, the more those vital skills for original story generation atrophied in me. On top of that, there’s a ready-built audience in fandoms, it’s so much easier to get readers and feedback, because people are showing up for the characters they love, not necessarily the writings of a fic’s author. These are characters I didn’t create and these are not my worlds. So, I’d start to think ‘what’s the point’ and would inevitably sink into a deep depression. I’d give up, because the mountain is hard to climb when starting at the bottom. Only for a new fanfiction idea to find me at my lowest, and the cycle would begin anew.

My friend was younger than me by a few years. He had a lot of dreams and passions of his own. He’d survived a stroke prior (and likely precursory) to the tumor and used it as a wake-up call to go back for his graduate degree and travel to new places. Still, those dreams were cut short. I don’t know what regrets he had when he passed but his loss brought forth my own mortality, and I know that my regrets are many. This time, as the story left me, I was determined not to make the same mistakes. I felt certain that I could break the cycle. However, looking back, I don’t know that any of the choices I made were the right ones because I opted to just give up. I made career choices that prioritized finances over personal satisfaction. I shut off all social media. I got medicated.

For the past two years I’ve been on antidepressants and a mood stabilizer (because just the antidepressant was bad, bad, bad). I have a long history of self-harm. I thought I’d gotten past it, but it came back hard, and I realized I never really stopped hurting myself. I finally let someone close to me know (my sister) which has been a mixed bag.

I’ve checked AO3 comments regularly over that time. If you left me feedback there, I saw it. I appreciated it. It made me feel loved and I truly, deeply thank you for it. My lack of response wasn’t because I was tired of the feedback, or that it wasn’t seen, it was because I felt guilty writing the same thing over and over again and having no meaningful updates on my life and my stories to offer. I also checked Tumblr irregularly. I always forget how to use it, so I didn’t really notice the number of questions that had filled my inbox. I found them all recently, thank you for those. I’m sorry I worried so many people. Everyone here is wonderful.

A couple months ago, I got this very sweet comment on Wake Up. Overall, harmless enough sentiments, but it stuck with me for days to weeks to now.

Reading the words “…I would love to read your new works…” hit me hardest. Because I had no new works. I hadn’t written anything since my last update on AO3. For the first time since I was ten years old, I had gone over five months without writing anything creative. I journaled, essentially just bitching about my day, and that’s it. I stopped making art, also. That’s when I stumbled into a realization. It seemed the medication worked in that it worked to numb me. I was more in a fog than anything, a zombie going about the day-to-day. Even at work, my boss expressed concerns that I was different. Quieter and less engaged, and while there are other variables here, like I hated my job and was frustrated with the people I worked with, I could trace most of it back to this one thing.

This comment left on Wake Up made me realize, therein is the trade-off for ‘peace of mind’. I feel less like hurting myself because I feel less, period. In trying to find stable ground, I cut myself off from the source of my stories. Maybe at the time, it made sense, because I was certain I’d never be a writer. That I’d always forsake my original work for what came easier, and that, ultimately, I’d never have anything worthwhile to offer the larger world that couldn’t already be found in existing IP. I wasn’t prepared for that reality to hurt this much.

There’ve been benefits to the two years away, too. It’s given me space to breathe and reflect on what matters. The irony, or cosmic poetry, of this comment appearing on a story titled Wake Up doesn’t escape me. I know this one thing now, it’s certain and stronger in me than ever, I don’t want to give up on being a writer. I have so many original ideas in me, stories I’ve wanted to write for so many decades, and characters I want to give a chance to be loved as much as those characters I’ve written fanfiction for. I have this small, odd little dream that maybe one day the worlds and characters I create will inspire fanfictions of their own.

I stopped the medication a few months ago and been readjusting to emotions, thoughts, the colors of the world that had been gray for two years. I’ve started writing an original story, using a middle ground approach to springboard off by basing the story around characters I created for a fanfiction I wrote roughly a decade ago (First Patrol, if anyone is curious, originally posted to FF.net and one of only two stories on my AO3 account that is not BSD). The characters I’m using are entirely my own except two that have morphed out of the fanfic’s original source material. It’s arguable that the character I wrote for from the fandom source was so underdeveloped in the show (my impetus for writing First Patrol in the first place), that what I created for him in that story was entirely my own to the point that version of him became mine. The world that I’m placing them is my own and is far removed from the world of that fandom. It’s an idea I’ve had sitting in my drive for almost eight years now.

I haven’t thought much about if and where I’d share this story. At the moment, I’m just focused on finishing something original and having fun with it. There’s a loose plot to it, at the moment, that I’m still trying to carve out as I go. I’ve considered posting its chapters in progress here. Maybe you’ll want to read them. Maybe your interest in my writing only goes as far as BSD or some other fandom I’ve been a part of that you found me through. Both are valid feelings. I’m not going to tell you what to think or feel about the shift in my writing direction. I’m not going to ask you to stick around. This is my journey, and you are not obligated to follow me on it. My only ask is that if I do post it here, that you not leave comments to it or about it asking for the fanfiction instead. Writing original work is hard enough without constantly being tempted by an easier and less fulfilling road and being told I was better off there.

There are other parts to my decision here, like the advent of AI Writing Tools and what I see in this technology as an impending set-back to human growth and imagination, and a hack-job to language, culture, and the arts, that I believe can only be opposed through a radical rebellion of creating with only my own humanness and human experiences away from and in spite of AI. My greatest concern is where and how I can share my work without it being stolen by the monster I’m trying to fight against.

As for the fanfictions that I’ve left unfinished. I don’t know if I’ll get back to them. I never like to call something abandoned, because that’s not how it works. First, I don’t abandon the story, in a way, I feel like it abandons me. But that’s not right either, because the story never does leave me. It hovers in the periphery of my mind, every now and then it flits back above the surface. Sometimes I can catch and hold it there long enough to add a few keystrokes to a chapter, then it dives away again.

In Wake Up, as with every fanfic I write, I know where Chuuya was supposed to end up, and Dazai, and the rest. I know the emotional beats that they were meant to experience along the way. I wrote parts of the end of Wake Up. I had the second to last chapter written. The beginning of the last chapter written, and I’ve mentally played through the scenes that were meant to happen countless times. There’s a complete 18th chapter that I’ve never posted. I’ve known of fanfic writers that showed up ten years later to pump out the last half of a story and wrap it up beautifully. I’ve even popped up after eight years to add new chapters to a fic, only to disappear again. I hate to say “it’s done and expect no more updates” because I don’t know what will happen in the future. I just know this is where I am now.

However, I don’t want to leave anyone with false hope either. There is one instance in my mind that I have managed to go back years later and finish an unfinished fic. One among dozens. It’s not impossible, but the chances aren’t high. Do with that what you will.

This is my update, as of November 2024.

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hey there, Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!!

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon - about Rouge for the Ask Game

(Ask game is here! The prompt post got buried by AU day, lol)

Thank you so much for this ask! I'm sorry for my extremely tardy response, but merely thinking about the idea of Rouge aging while Shadow and Omega have to grapple with that sends me into depressive fits that I may not recover from*.

(*I'm exaggerating for dramatic effect, of course, but you get the idea. That is wonderful angst for another time. I want to keep this post cheerful, though, so without further ado-)

I headcanon that Rouge becomes a sort of mysterious wealthy philanthropist in her later years. By this point I imagine she's made BOATLOADS of money from both her thieving and government endeavors (much more so her thieving ones, but a few classified secrets sold to a few foreign countries also helps bring in the dough). She's definitely the one that funds Shadow, Omega, and maaaaaaaaybe Sonic and his friends whenever she feels like it.

(Sonic is included in her will, alongside the two other obvious picks. She hasn't mentioned this to him, of course, but it's there.)

She can't do heists anymore. That's okay- during her 20s, 30s, and 40s she got more than her fair share of daring and exotic heists. A 35-year career is no joke and as a result her gemstone collection is one of the most comprehensive in the world. Whenever any police types mention that most of her collection are things stolen, she blinks innocently and goes "I just bought it from someone, of course! You aren't telling me that I helped patron a thief, are you? I love my gems so much. . . I just couldn't give them up" *flutters eyelashes* and this gets most law enforcement to give up. If not, then there's always Omega.

She continues to bargain for any gems she wants the legal way anyway, finding the game of manipulation negotiation fun while also supporting her image as an innocent buyer. Otherwise, she's living her best life in a victorian mansion she fixed up, throwing dramatic murder mystery costume parties. She has a taste for fine wines and liquors, along with intriguing strangers. When one has nearly every gemstone one could possibly want to acquire, the next most valuable thing is a stranger who shows interest in them. (Either that or a stranger who's smoking hot. You get the idea.)

However, Shadow is still the one she splurges on the most, but it's not for his benefit. He asks that she give donations to causes he likes or organizations he supports. The local library of a small town that Shadow stopped in for the day? Suddenly receives a $50,000 check in the mail. Historical organization of descendants that chronicles lost Echidna tribe history? $100,000 and a fully-financed trip to Angel island to say hi to Knuckles. All of this is not to say that Rouge doesn't support these organizations herself- just that she often forgets that donating is a thing she can do with her money, and Shadow's prompting reminds her.

Her other biggest expense is Omega's munitions. This has allowed him to go solo from government work and to pursue his own lifestyle after the defeat of Eggman. Keep in mind that Omega's no chump- he still charges a pretty penny for his services -but Rouge's financial support is still a significant cushion around his autonomy that he's grateful for. Plus, it means that he can take charity assignments when he wants, which happens more often than you might think.

TL;DR: Rouge becomes an eccentric victorian robin hood millionaire that finances her friend's expensive hobbies along with her own.