#I just wanna make myself a smoothie

[asexualjedi]

My back hurts so badly I want to lay down but I can’t bc I have gerd so I need to wait hours after eating to not be sitting up perfectly straight or I’ll suffer terribly. BUT. The way I’m sitting I’m having to hold my phone up real high so my head won’t be titled down bc I’m also having bad neck pain that started later today. And like haha that’s messing up my chronic hand issues. It’s. Truly. Today kinda sucks lol. I just wanted to get my training done for my journal done today. So I could sew some tomorrow but I couldn’t bc I was in so much pain I was making a lot of simple mistakes and couldn’t focus. Hopefully the back pain will not get worse like it has been the past day or two. And I I’ll be able to finish it before it’s due lol haha.

[bunnihearted]

🫖🐭☁️🍚

[nosygay]

media literacy and reading comprehension have become such cursed strings of words to me & I love reading the vague call-out posts about it as if they're little creative writing exercises because I fully believe all the dramatically bad takes I see being criticised are made up. my internet experience is beautiful and full of kind-hearted smart people and yours can be too just take my hand

[victoria-secret-r3xies]

hi i really want to actually start like... you know, do you have any advice on how to start and not get unmotivated quickly?

Vanessa's official guide on how to not fuck up at yk what.

(Tw obvi)

Okay first random thing I would recommend is decide what d!3t soda you're going to like, or if you don't like a d!3t soda at all and you actually want to be more like a flavored water girl. Trust me this will just make things easier down the line. I remember at the beginning I was so confused on what to drink so this is so random but I just wanted to put that there so that way you don't end up drinking all your daily c@ls like I did 😭😭

Make sure that if you're trying to make friends here do not try to get a stupid coach. There is no point because these are all just crusty old men you do not need that---there's so many people on this side of Tumblr that are actually nice and we'll talk to you and give advice I promise a old man yelling at you for b!nging isnt gonna fix anything.

Then go on any of the websites online and find your daily c@l intake. If you new to r3$triction I would maybeee do 800-900 a day and work your way down. DW about everyone else f@$ting for weeks just start at like 800-900 a day

For the amount of c@ls your eating, try to make it healthy. Trust me there's a whole bunch of sweet treats that you can get for lower c@|ories then normal ones. And also you need PROTEIN. not SUGAR. (I'm kinda yelling at myself lmao I'm a sweet tooth ignore that pls)

SMOOTHIES. they are so good and you can find hundreds of recipes on the internet!!

READ THE CH|C D|3T. THIS HAS BASICALLY ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU ARE EVER GOING TO NEED. If you do not have a copy to this because basically every single physical copy ever has already been sold because the book is now banned try to find a pdf online for free there is a whole bunch of them if you look enough, but if you're being lazy you can just DM me and I will send you a copy of the Google doc. This has uhh EVERYTHING. But if you're too lazy to read the whole entire thing 100% read the one about "bars" so that way you know which protein bars to get

Speaking of protein bars make sure to always have like one or two in your bag. Just in case you end up feeling really dizzy and you're worried you're going to pass out or something I would have one in your bags that way you can urgently eat it at all times.

F@$t|ng can be good. If you can't get a all to it just used to stop watch on your phone and know that it takes 19 hours for ketosis to start AKA your body starts burning your dumbass f@t. Maybe do more research on this because I'm not 100% an expert on here so feel free to correct me people. I would start with maybe a 12 hour one and work your way up. Don't go past 72 unless ur 100% sure you'll be ok. We don't wanna pass out here that's not good for anyone.

Having a #1 th!NSP0 board or person is something that helped me- idk about you I would just go on Pinterest and look up "Wl motivation" so it doesn't flag you and find something.

MAKE MOOTS. TRUST ME #1 ADVICE HERE.

TAKE YOUR DAMN VITAMINS. No I'm not 100% on what vitamins to take here because I myself literally do not take them because I don't have access to them right now. But I know that there's a whole bunch of people who have actually good information about what kind of vitamins to take so--follow their advice not mine because I don't want to accidentally give you crappy advice

This is like really random but like don't stress if your food isn't like organic or aesthetic looking. Trust me 95% of the time fruit is fruit so if it's not some non-GMO organic fruit I promise you'll probably get almost the same health benefits or whatever from fruit (sorry people who are bitches about only eating organic don't yell at me I know it's a difference)

PVRG!NG DOES NOTHING. DO NOT START IT TRUST ME THERE IS NO BENEFITS TO IT (I'm not judging people who are struggling with it right now don't worry ik where your at I'm trying to stop pvrging rn actually I'm not shaming the m!@ people<3) Ik none of this in general is that good but trust me just thr after effects of pvrging is not worth thr half a pound and 1/6 of the ca!s you got rid of

That's about all I have right now. Maybe I'll make a part two

Xoxo ,

Vanessa 🤍🪽

[tpwk-formula1]

Omg hi. I just found you and cheered. I have a order.

Lando Norris, Thick Crust, Red Sauce,

Cherry Tomatoes, Root beer, Mango Smoothie,

Aftercare

If you could maybe make it a dizzy, inconcent reader where people flirt with her and she dosnt now and flirts back and Lando thinks the only way for people to leave her alone would be if she pregnant with his child. And he definitely has feelings for her. 🤭

✨️THANK YOU ✨️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" root beer daddy kink mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Lando x Ditzy! reader

AN: Okay! So I am so sad that I had to close my requests early but in a week I got over 100 requests which is fucking amazing and I am so happy for them but I want to make sure requests are coming out in a timely manner so I will be completely all requests within the next few weeks and once the Pizzeria is back open it will be a rebrand... So if you have any prompt ideas, kinks, or overall things you want to see get added to the menu just send me a message and I'll see what I can do!

TW breeding kink, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, rough sex, creampie, jealous Lando

WC 1200+

Y/N POV

"Danny! You can't just say things like that," I laugh loudly with the Australian in front of me. I can feel my cheeks growing red from the sexual joke Daniel just cracked.

I can feel a hand on my lower back making me look over my shoulder to find Lando making my smile grow more before I lean up and place a kiss on his cheek.

"What are you two up to?" Lando questions with a slight edge in his voice.

"Was just telling, Y/N about my summer break," Daniel says with a smile. I watch as Lando's face grows in a smile before he's ushering us towards the bar.

"Don't wander to far," Lando tells me making me look up and smile.

"Okay, babe!" I say when I place a kiss on his cheek.

"Are you okay?" I ask Lando softly making him nod his head before flagging the bartender down and ordering both of us drinks.

As time passed I found myself talking with Charles and Ollie.

"Charles! You'll have to invite me over sometime!" I tell Charles as he finishes telling me how he finally got Leo to stop peeing in the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt but I'm just gonna steal her away. We have early morning plans so I gotta get this one off to bed," Lando says randomly interrupting making me raise a brow before trying to speak.

"Say bye," Lando tells me before I can even say anything.

I just turn back towards the two men waving a good bye before following Lando out of the club.

"I literally told you not to wander off," Lando snapped when we finally hopped into our Uber.

"Lando, I could see you the whole time," I reply back softly not understanding why he was so mad.

"Could you? Cause there was a solid 5 minutes where I was wandering around to find you," Lando tells me roughly making me huff and turn my back on him to look out the window.

Lando and I sat in silence for the rest of the car ride when we finally pulled up to his apartment building instantly making me get out and march to the front doors not waiting for Lando.

When we get into his apartment I lock myself in his bathroom still not wanting to talk to him, but eventually I had to face him and when I walked out of the bathroom I was changed into a silky sleep dress while Lando was sitting in bed in his boxers.

"I don't wanna see you entertaining men anymore. You're mine," Lando says not even looking up from his phone.

"Last time I checked, you were the one who was adamant we were nothing more than sex and money," I reply back while climbing into the bed next to Lando.

"Do you see the way you walked into my home like it was yours? How you climb into MY bed like it was yours? The way you have half my closet full of your stuff? That's all because you're mine, whether it has been a discussion or not, you have come into my life and fucked up any prior deal, so fucking sue me if I set a boundary with you," Lando finally snaps back making me look around his room realizing that over the year of us hooking up for money I had basically moved in. I had made his home our home and I didn't even realize.

"Lando, I think we should have this discussion when we are both fully sober," I tell him softly. I knew what I wanted sober or drunk I wanted Lando to be mine but was this just some drunk game Lando was playing.

"No, I'm barely fucking tipsy., I didn't even realize you didn't realize you were mine. I thought it was unspoken," Lando tells me softly before turning towards me and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Do you know how many men want to fuck you?" Lando questioned with a raised brow making me laugh slightly.

"Lando, you're the only man who wants to fuck me," I reply back with a roll of the eye.

"You're mine," Lando said moving topics again and pulling me in for a heated make-out session.

I quickly climb into Lando's lap and grind my bare pussy against his briefs making his groan slightly.

"I'm gonna put a baby in you," Lando tells me softly making me sit up and stare at him in complete shock.

"The fuck are you on about now?" I ask Lando before he pulls me back into for a kiss where he flips us over so I am now under Lando letting him grind into me backing me whimper.

"You're mine and when you walk around that fucking paddock in 6 months everyone will fucking know you're mine," Lando said while trailing kisses down my neck making it clear he was marking his territory.

"You're insane," I whisper back but it quickly turns into a moan because Lando is leaning down and taking a soft lick out of my clit.

"Daddy," I moan when Lando starts sucking on my clit while lightly teasing my soaked hole with his fingers.

"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando slips 2 fingers in and finds my G-spot.

"I want you to cum on my fingers," Lando says while speeding his actions making me feel the band in m stomach start to grow tight letting me know I was close to cumming for Lando.

"Daddy," I scream out when the band finally snaps and I'm cumming all over Lando's fingers. Lando helped ride my orgasm out before he's pulling his briefs down and roughly shoving his cock deep into my pussy.

"Oh! Daddy," I gasp still not fully recovered from my previous orgasm and can already feel a second one building up.

"Fucking hell, so damn needy already gonna cum for me," Lando said with a smirk while bringing his hand down to my clit and giving it a rough rub bringing me closer to the edge.

"Daddy," I whine when I feel myself reach the point of no return, cumming all over Lando's cock with a shout. I was shaking and so long in my own pleasure, I don't feel Lando's hips shutter as he fills my pussy full of his cum.

"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Lando groans with a smirk while slowly pulling out of me.

"Lando, I probably didn't get pregnant from one time," I tell him softly with a laugh falling from my lips.

"I'll fuck you until you do," Lando says with a shrug. That night we fell asleep tangled in each other's arms.

6 weeks later

"Fucking hell," I gasp while staring down at the positive pregnancy test.

"I told you, you were gonna have my babies," Lando said with a proud smirk.

"Lando, what the fuck are we gonna do?" I ask starting to panic.

"Hey, calm down! It's all gonna work itself out," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his chest.

"I can't wait to see everyone's face when you show up to the paddock supporting a bump caused by me baby," Lando tells me making me laugh lightly.

I knew we would figure everything out. It wasn't how I pictured myself getting pregnant but boy am I happy it's how it happened.

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE may edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the may catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

FOR THE WELLNESS GIRLIES ;

this month i discovered ballerina tea! and if u dont know what ballerina tea is, im going to put you on bcuz thats the whole point of the it girls magazine. the key ingredients in ballerina tea is senna and chinese mallow.

so essentially ballerina tea contains herbs that some cultures have traditionally used for a long time. its marketed as a weight loss tea but thats not all true. ballerina tea has a laxative effect and is really good for DETOXIFICATION and translate into lost weight in the form of water and stools.

while we are on the topic of consumption this is your reminder to eat ur fresh fruits and veggies! lets talk about ways to incorporate more fresh foods into our everyday diet.

if u like to snack, make fruits and vegetables more accessible for you. by prepping snacks before the cravings start, your snacking smarter.

start making smoothies or açai bowls as a rly yummy and easy way of getting fresh fruits daily.

make tasty veggie platters with home made sauces as a way to get in vegetables, or find a way to incorporate veggies into ur favorite recipes.

something that i did recently that has improved the quality of my diet is simply making some foods from scratch. for example i had a huge craving for fries, so i made home made fries and i can guarantee its 10X better then the processed fries that i would've gotten.

THE SCRAMBLE FOR SUMMER PLANS ;

school is FINALLY done. we are free to enjoy our hot girl summers! but now that school is done i find myself faced with the "now what?" question. no but seriously now what? no one wants to have a wasted summer, and ik u dont either so make sure to live up ur summer!

i did not take my own advice and i did not make preparations in advance for my summer so as of writing this post i have no plans, so im scrambling to make plans with my friends and set things up for myself. im planning out things like girls trips to the city, shopping trips, parties, dinners etc etc. and ofc manifesting for the vacation that i deserve.

HONEYS BEAUTY CORNER ;

SUPER EASY TANNING ROUTINE - tanning is one of the most important parts of summer! to start ur tanning routine, first things first set up a tanning playlist. my tanning playlist consists of songs like espresso by sabrina carpenter, nasty by tinashe, and turn it up by pink pantheress.

next apply some SPF to protect ur skin from the hot sun and apply some tanning oil if u have it. something else important to remember when tanning is to cooldown after tanning so keep some aloe vera gel on hand to avoid burning. we wanna TAN not burn.

tan the front then the back (each in 10 minute intervals) by the time ur done each side should tan for about 20 minutes each. so it'd be something like (front - 10 minutes, back - 10 minutes, front - 10 minutes, back - 10 minutes)

afterwards COOL DOWN with some swimming, some aloe vera, have a tasty mocktail/cocktail, apply some tanning oil and repeat the process one more time.

SMELLING LIKE THE BEACH - if u wanna smell like the beach, go to the beach. but if u wanna have the same effect i recommend the following products : the watermelon and coconut scented tree hut scrubs. the maui hair products. cabana girl body wash from philosophy. the bum bum body scrub. sol de janeiro rio radiance. ;

DIONNE FROM CLUELESS - STYLE DISSECTION ;

dionne is my absolute favorite character in the clueless movie and show for a MULTITUDE of different reasons. she is the embodiment of black femininity, girlyness, and she just exudes the lavish energy that we all know and love!

lets start off by talking about the way that dionne styles her hair. dionne's hair is so healthy, bouncy and absolutely GORGEOUS. she frequently styles her hair with things like headbands and clips. i've seen her in lots of different hairstyles and she always EATS.

dionne isnt particularly drawn to one specific color, the colors that she wears ranges depending on her outfit but everything is so well put together. one of dionne's most ICONIC looks is her unforgettable burgundy velvet dress with some white detaling.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Chim: That's the third smoothie you had in the past hour.

Eddie: Are you the smoothie police? I like them, ok? They reduce stress for me.

Hen: We just noticed that you've been drinking a lot of them lately.

Buck: We wanna make sure you are doing ok.

Eddie: I'm fine, there's just something about having this thick straw in my mouth and sucking on it for like 15 minutes that makes me feel so good about myself-

*Hen, Chim and Buck, holding their laugh*

Eddie: Shut up, I heard it.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

the girl next door 28

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

As you come outside, your mom sits on the deck, under the umbrella with a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. You can hardly tell if she’s awake. You hug yourself as you come into the summer light and look around. There’s a bottle of sun lotion on the railing of the deck. 

You cross the wooden planks and grab the bottle. As you pop the cap, your mom mutters. You turn as you squirt some into your hand. You look at her. 

“Do you need some?” You ask. 

“What in the lord’s name are you wearing?” She snarls. 

“Um,” you look down, once more shocked by the sight of your own body. “A swim suit. I... I’ll put a shirt on.” 

“Hey, Hol,” Steve comes out in a pair of lilac coloured trunks, “what do you think? Got the kiddo a swimsuit so she can enjoy the pool.” 

“Oh, you did?” Your mom hums as she leans her face in her hand, “how nice.” 

“Too bad you can’t join us,” Steve approaches and stops between you and your mom’s chair. “Got myself some new shorts.” 

He turns to her as you’re left watching his back. His muscle is thick and you can see it tense with his movement. He’s tall and his shoulders are broad, his arms burly too. Age has only seemed to add to his strong form. 

“Those are nice,” your mom says without much conviction, “I got a suit somewhere but... the water makes me sick. It’s these damn meds.” 

“Yeah, but they keep you going,” Steve nears her and bends to kiss her forehead. “You can be our lifeguard, how about that? Been a while since I’ve been in the deep end.” 

“You’re so...” she pauses and measures her words, “silly.” 

“It’s a nice day,” he booms, “did you try the smoothie? I put some vitamin C in it, too. Should help you feel a bit better. Oh, kiddo,” he claps and turns to face you, “did you want a smoothie? I got fresh raspberries.” 

“Erm, no thanks, I’m good,” you affirm and back away, focusing on spreading the lotion up your arms. 

“Towels are down on the chairs,” he says, “Holly Berry,” he gives your mom a strange nickname, “you sure you don’t wanna move closer?” 

“I needa stay in the shade,” she fans herself and reaches for the bright orange smoothie, “that damn inhaler. I told the doctor take me off it--” 

“Now, he’s just doing his job--” 

“I know. Don’t gotta keep saying so,” she slams the cup down and you glance over as her hand shakes violently. She’s worked up. She sits back as she tries to still herself, only for the tremor to quake through her. 

“Right, well, chill out,” Steve shrugs and backs off, “we’ll go cool off in the water.” 

He turns to face you and nears, “can I get some of that?” 

You offer him the bottle then work at smearing the lotion along your collar bone and around the top of the suit. You bring your hands to your tummy, rubbing the oiliness into your skin as Steve takes the lotion. You notice his eyes linger on you for a moment. 

“Come on, gotta check the temperature,” he waves you down the steps. 

You follow as you continue to work the lotion into your skin. You still need to get your legs and face. You continue across the lawn to the pool and Steve dollops a health heap of lotion into one hand before giving back the bottle. He slaps his hand against his chest and rubs in the sunscreen, his fingertips pressing into his muscles as he works down to his softer tummy. 

You bend to your legs. You would’ve rather a one-piece just so you wouldn’t have to use as much. As you put a light layer on your face, Steve grabs the bottle from where you left it on the lounger.  

“Here, turn around,” he squirts out the lotion into his palm. “I’ll get your back, you get mine.” 

You can’t argue. Besides, you can barely look at him. You’d rather stare at the fence. 

You turn and drop your arms. He puts his hands over your shoulders, jolting you, kneading harder than you expect. You feel his breath fan over the back of your head and he traces his thumbs around your shoulder blade, catching on the tail of the tie behind your neck. For a moment, you think he might pull it free. 

He spreads his hands, dragging them down, working in the lotion around your hips and sides, sending shivers through you. A trickle of sweat rolls down your spine and you draw away. His fingertips trail along your lower back wistfully.  

“Here,” he snatches up the lotion and hands it to you, smiling. You nod and take it. 

He turns his back to you and you gulp. Oof. You don’t know what’s worse. Being touched or touching him. It all seems so... strange even if it’s completely innocent. You’re just helping him. He does have a lot of back. 

You squeeze out the cream and rub it between your hands, hovering them before his back before you make yourself touch him. You swipe your hands up and down and side to side, working around the lotion to full cover his back. He groans and twitches as you come along the back of his ribs. 

“Careful,” he turns his head to speak over his shoulder, “old college injury. Don’t think it ever really healed.” 

“Oh,” you ease up, “sorry.” 

“Nah, you can’t hurt me, sweetie,” he insists and leans into your touch. 

You finish up and retract, trying to absorb what’s left into your palms. The greasy sensation irritates you. He turns as you reach to fix the tie behind your neck, making sure it’s tight as it feels like the suit is slipping. He blinks and his eyes flick up and down. 

“Well, are you gonna dive in?” He asks. 

“Erm, uh, I can just use the ladder,” you say as you tiptoe around him to the edge. You look down into the crystalline water, “it looks cold.” 

“Got the heater going,” he says, “shouldn’t be too bad.” 

He stands beside you and extends his leg to dip a toe into it, “not bad at all.” 

“Mm, maybe in a few minutes,” you cross your arms again, “I’m not a great swimmer.” 

“Well, I can keep an eye on you,” he reaches to tickle along your upper arm, goose dumps rising across your skin. 

“Sure, uh,” you edge away from him and run your fingers along where he touched. His hands are always on you. At least that’s how it seems to you. “Just... gotta build up my nerve.” 

“Mm,” he backs up, “sure, well, there’s the diving board and... I guess you could just sunbathe.” 

“Yeah, mayb--” 

Before you can finish, you’re scooped off your feet. You cry out as Steve lifts you up and launches himself into the pool. He keeps you in his arms as he splashes into the water and you flail wildly. You’re swallowed up as the chlorine floods your mouth and nostrils and you choke beneath the surface. 

You writhe against him, his thick arms around you, and try to free yourself. The knot at the front of your bikini catches your pinkie and you struggle to untangle both your hand and your body at once. You finally come up above the water and gasp as Steve follows, laughing as he keeps his embrace loosely around you. 

“Sometimes you just need the extra push,” he beams, “isn’t it refreshing?” 

You push the water away from your face and cough. As you do, he goes quiet and you spit up behind your hand. You can only taste the chlorinated water as you hack. You look up at him as his hands slowly creep up your sides. His blue eyes are fixated on you but not on your face. 

You look down at your chest, the knot on the front of the suit barely clinging together as you spill out from the fabric. The top merely acts to frame your nudity and you sputter as you try to cover yourself and his hands continue to ascend. You back away from his grasp and turn away. 

“Sweetie, it’s fine, all good,” he assures you. 

“Why would you do that?” You sniffle. 

“It was only some fun. I didn’t know... I’m sorry. I didn’t know the suit didn’t fit right.” 

“It’s not the suit,” you stretch the wet fabric across your tits as best you can, keeping your back to him. “I said... I told you... I wanted to wait.” 

“Ah come on, what good is having a pool if you don’t go in it?” 

“It’s your pool,” you snap, your cheek on fire as the rest of you buzzes. You wade through the water with effort. “I never asked for it.” 

“Now sweetie, don’t be like that.” 

“Please,” you pull yourself up the later, the water slaking off you and threatening to drag down the top once more, “leave me alone.” 

You cross your arms over your chest, hooking your hands over your shoulders, and rush away from the pool. You glance up at your mother as you pass the deck, hooking around to the gate instead. She doesn’t react as her head lolls over the back of the chair and her feet are splayed wide. You should get her inside but you can’t stop. You’re too humiliated. 

You race through the gate, not bothering to close it behind you. You clammer around into your mother’s yard and storm up the steps, crashing through the front door. The tears spring the moment you break the threshold as it sets in. You can’t believe that happened. You can’t believe he saw it. You just... can’t. 

[jina1028]

Smoothie

Haechan x fem!reader

Categories: smut, recreational use of alcohol, sex in public, car sex, fwb, blowjob, tell me if I missed something

A.N. I feel like this is kinda short compared to my other works but I still hope you have fun reading <3

~♡~

You were at a club with your friends and currently seated around a table sipping your drinks and talking nonsense. As most of the times you and your friends got a bit drunk, the subject of your conversation was drifting towards nsfw territory. Your innocent question about favorite cocktails turned into a discussion about blowjobs.

"Tonight I chose piña colada because you know what they say about pineapple" Haechan winked at you, making you roll your eyes, but bringing a not well concealed smile on your face nonetheless.

A chorus of groans, giggles and bickering was interrupted by Jisung, a confused expression on his face "What do they say about pineapple?", the youngest soon regretting asking the question when Chenle answered in a loud voice "You're so clueless, everyone knows it makes your cum taste better!", a pair of girls passing by turned their heads towards the two boys as they heard the exchange, Jisung blushing hard and diverting his eyes from them as he tried to silence his friend, Chenle bursting out laughing at the scene.

"You know" Haechan picked up the conversation again "mine tastes like smoothie" and he sipped his drink while staring at you.

"No one believes you" Renjun stated, Jeno nodding beside him.

"How do you even know, did you taste it yourself?" Mark argued, Jaemin almost snorting his drink out from his nose, you almost choking on your own drink.

Haechan acted offended, frowning and getting louder as he spoke "Anyone wanna try it? I dare you!"

He earned a mix of disgusted faces and 'eww's from the table until Jaemin commented "Y/N doesn't seem too much against it" a playful look in his eyes.

Everyone turned to you, who stayed silent sipping from your straw. You didn't know if it was the alcohol, Haechan's amused gaze on you or the crush you had on him from two years ago, or maybe everything together, but eventually you put your drink down on the table, stared back at Heachan, shrugged and replied "Maybe I wanna try so I can judge by myself."

Howls and whistles erupted from your friends, Haechan though was strangely quiet, just a sly smirk on his face while the two of you maintained eye contact for a few seconds before he turned his attention to the rest of your friends "Enough, clearly Y/N drank a bit too much, now you guys should go and have fun dancing and picking up some girls while I take her home so she can rest and sober up-"

"I'm not that drunk" you protested, interrupting him.

"Y/N, come on, I'm trying to come up with an excuse here" he sighed dramatically, getting up from his chair, coming to you and grabbing your hand, starting to drag you out from the club while waving goodbye to your friends "Jeno, Jaemin, you should take a taxi later to get back home, I'm gonna be busy."

Everyone was flabbergasted at the sudden turn of events, just like you as well, starting to laugh as soon as you realized what was happening and letting Haechan escort you to his car.

"Haechan, wait, I thought you were joking... Are we really leaving?" you questioned, still hoping this wouldn't turn out to be one of his silly jokes.

He turned around to you while opening the driver's door "Y/N I'm so serious right now, unless you wanna go back inside and tell them it was a joke."

You looked him in the eyes and opened the front passenger's door "Get inside the car."

And he obeyed, inserting the key to start the engine as soon as you closed the doors. You stopped him though, worried about the risks of driving after drinking and making him pout "You have a point but I really wanted to go to your place or somewhere private"

You looked around the dark parking lot "We're in a corner, it's dark, there's no one around, everyone is inside having fun..."

Haechan struggled to stay focused as you stroked his thigh, inching up more and more until you managed to unzip his jeans and tuck your hand inside to slowly and steadily stroke at his half hard member through his boxers, bringing more blood to it as it swelled up under the pressure of your tantalizing hand.

"There's other cars around here, what if someone comes too close..." he started to argue, trying to convince himself more than you, but eventually sighing deeply at your ministrations, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"It will just look like you're sleeping, no one will notice" you reassured him, removing your hand from his boxers just to push them down enough to free his now erect member, resuming your strokes and inching closer with your face.

His lips slightly parted as he let out a soft moan, hand finding your hair as you finally reached out your tongue to tease the underside of his tip. He tried to push a little to stop your teasing, impatience getting the best of him but you warned him grazing the tip with your teeth, earning a hiss from him, his pleading eyes now set on yours and swifting to your mouth, so close to his member but still not giving him what he really wanted.

Haechan felt so desperate, it just slipped out of his mouth before he could realize "Please... Take it, please..."

Your pussy pulsed and you felt your folds getting wetter with your arousal "I'll make you feel good" you purred and with your tongue flat on the underside of his cock you finally closed your lips around the tip and hollowed your cheeks, giving it a nice suck, Haechan instinctively fisting your hair to ground himself at the sensation.

You started to bob your head on his cock, occasionally hollowing your cheeks, sucking and swirling your tongue on the tip, dipping it in the slit collecting his precum. You had to admit it tasted good and doubled your efforts to make him cum faster so you could taste his seed.

Hachan felt dizzy, he couldn't decide if he wanted to savor the moment with his eyes closed or if he wanted to stay focused watching the way your mouth and hand worked on him.

He tasted so good and was responding so well, moaning and hissing every time you sucked on the tip and twisted your hand on his slick base, you couldn't help but get cock drunk, moaning around his cock and feeling your wetness seep through your panties.

Haechan realized he was getting too loud so he clamped his free hand on his mouth to try and keep it quiet, his other hand still tangled in your hair, pulling a little as he started get closer to the edge, calling your name in quiet whispers to try and warn you.

You heard him but didn't care, and instead brought your free hand to fondle his balls encouraging him to let it go, sucking greedily on his head and pumping the lenghth with your other hand.

That's when you felt the grip on your hair tightening, his breath hitching and finally letting go with a low moan, his cock twitching in your mouth as it spilled his thick seed on your tongue, a curse leaving his lips when he realized what he just did.

You kept softly sucking on his cock until he had nothing left to give you and you let it out of your mouth, a string of saliva breaking in the process.

Haechan watched you closely as you finally swallowed his cum with a gulp and smiled at him, teasing him repeating his own statement from earlier "It really tastes like smoothie."

[skribbyposts]

Zosan haircut time!!!!

had to write this after getting the idea from my last post lmao. I love the idea of Sanji being like "ugh you look fucking terrible" and then forcing Zoro to take care of himself. they're so stupid and gay and in love omg. beginning part is mostly Zoro and Nami but that's ok because they're wlw/mlm solidarity always!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More than anything, Zoro loves sunbathing on the Sunny's deck. Something about the warm light makes him want to melt into the wood. However, Zoro finds it very hard to enjoy the sun when it is boiling outside, and he swears he can hear his sweat sizzle when it meets the wooden flooring.

"We're going through a summer climate, just wait it out." Nami sips on her martini, laid out on a lounge chair and taking cover under an umbrella.

"Easy for you to say, you witch. You stole all the shade." While Nami's basking in the shadow of her parasol, Zoro's sprawled out on deck, sweating his fucking balls off. His whole body is damp, and he's stripped down into just a pair of loose shorts to cool off.

"Go hang out with your boyfriend in the kitchen," She says.

"He's not my boyfriend. I fucking hate you."

"The feeling's mutual, you sweaty loser."

Zoro groans, peeling himself off of the floor to sit up and comb his fingers through his shaggy hair. It's too long to stay out of the way, and it's uncomfortably wet where it sticks to his forehead. Zoro would tie it back, but it's too short for that. In short, he is suffering.

"I'm gonna die from heatstroke because of you," Zoro shakes the excess moisture from his hands.

Nami scoffs. "Stop whining, hop in the sea or something."

Zoro briefly considers this, but decides that's more effort than it's worth and tries to take a nap instead.

Zoro hears someone stroll out of the galley, and cracks his eye open to see Sanji balancing a tray of smoothies in one hand with a beach towel in the other. He's dressed down, an open Hawaiian shirt and blue shorts replacing his usual suit.

"Hello, my darling, Nami-san! I've just prepared smoothies. Would you like one?"

"Yes, Sanji-- thank you so much," She says smugly, while looking directly at Zoro. "You're a saint, You know that?"

He watches the cook hand Nami a drink from the tray, and Sanji's eyes follow her gaze to the floor where he's lying. "Oh my god, marimo. you look like -excuse my language, Nami-san- a fucking caveman."

"What are you talking about?" Zoro would pick a fight, but it's way too hot to bother.

The blonde cringes. "Your hair looks like someone ate it and then spat it back out onto your head."

"Okay, well, fuck you too then!" God, everyone's out for him today. What has Zoro ever done to deserve this?

"Ugh. Stand up, you dunce." Sanji nudges Zoro's head with a sandaled foot. "You need a haircut."

"I can give myself a haircut." Zoro nods in the direction of his swords, trying to move as little as possible.

"Are you insa- no! I'm cutting your hair, properly. Now get up."

"I don't wanna."

"I swear to god," Sanji sighs. "My dearest Nami, do you mind holding this for a bit?"

Nami peers at the two of them through her oversized sunglasses, a knowing smirk on her face as she takes the tray from Sanji's hands. "No problem."

Zoro doesn't have time to get a word in before Sanji reaches for his ear and bodily drags him all the way to the bathroom.

----- "I don't understand how you let it get this bad," The blonde lectures.

Zoro grumbles as he slouches on a stool in front of the bathroom sink, glaring at his own reflection. Sanji was partially right with his comment earlier - Zoro's hair is a damp, scraggly mess on top of his head right now. From where he is, Zoro can see the cook as he lines up all his fancy hair-cutting stuff, whispering insults under his breath. He looks kind of...domestic, out of his suit. It's the one thing Zoro appreciates whenever the Sunny passes through climates like this. "Okay, I'm going to attempt to fix this mess, and you are going to stay still," Sanji asserts as he slides into place behind Zoro. "as in, do not move."

"I know what 'stay still' means."

"Surprising. I thought you only spoke in grunts."

They both fall silent, Sanji draping a towel over Zoro's shoulders and clicking a button on the clippers in his hand. Gentle fingers push Zoro's head forward to access the strands at the nape of his neck. The whirring of the machinery and Sanji's hums every now and then are the only sounds in the cramped bathroom, and Zoro almost falls asleep to the feeling of the blond's hands in his hair.

"Hey." Sanji delivers two sharp taps to the back of Zoro's head. "Stop slouching, you're making it uneven."

"I'm so hot."

"I'm sure you are, you meathead. sit up."

Zoro begrudgingly straightens his back, getting a better view of the cook's freckled face reflected in the mirror. He always gets freckles when it's sunny out. They look like little constellations, scattered across his cheeks like that. Zoro wants to touch them so badly.

A few minutes pass, and Sanji moves to the front of his hair, taking a black comb from the counter to parse through the mess draping over Zoro's forehead. His face is scrunched in concentration, a crease between his eyebrows visible as he snips away with a pair of silver scissors. Zoro just...watches, staring intently into the other man's eyes. He's not sure if he's delirious from the heat, but is the cook's face turning red?

Sanji pauses his ministrations to frown at him. "Stop fucking looking at me. It's creepy."

"Sorry, sir." That earns him a snort and another smack to the side of his head. Zoro closes his eye (reluctantly. very reluctantly).

It feels like forever before Sanji finishes up his hair, ruffling it slightly before commanding Zoro to open his eyes.

The haircut is cropped close to his neck in the back, his overgrown sideburns shaped to follow his hairline. His hair is still a bit long on top, but it doesn't fall over his face.

Zoro's reflection looks better; neat, almost. He actually really likes it.

"It's okay, I guess." Zoro's lying through his teeth. It's fantastic, anything Sanji ever does is fantastic.

Sanji looks at him through the mirror. "Hm. Handsome little marimo." He nods in self-approval before packing up all his stuff, whisking the towel from around Zoro's shoulders to take to the laundry room.

Zoro sits there, bewildered, watching the other man maneuver around the tiny space unbothered- what?

He turns to look at Sanji as the blonde saunters out of the bathroom, definitely already busying himself with something else.

When Zoro turns back to his reflection, he doesn't fight the tiny smile that crosses his face. Sanji thinks he's Handsome.

The smile's gone just as quick as it came, replaced with a scowl as he hears a female voice giggling through the wall to his right.

"Nami, I'm going to murder you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nami was eavesdropping the entire time lmfao.

Nami, to Zoro: wow so handsome!! such a handsome wittle marimo arent you so wittle?? ooga booga doo!!!

Zoro: i am not above killing lesbians. Anyway BRAND NEW HC that Sanji gets freckles when he's in the sun he's such a cutie patootie i love him.

Pre-slash Zosan domesticity fuels my soul <33333

ALSOO!!! opening up asks cuz im running out of ideas :P if you ask me for something I'll probably write it thanks

[landoom]

F1 FANFICS REC LIST - Magical Realism

you don't have to know that it's haunted (8373 words) by mintchocolatechip97 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen Summary: At twenty-six, Charles is a witch, and a son, and a racecar driver. He’s learnt what magic can’t save him from, and when it soothes. He likes to think he has it all under control. But the most dangerous thing a witch can do is want. And Charles’s longings outnumber the fish of the Mediterranean Sea. Charles is a witch. Max finds out.

oOoOoOo

wilde (12801 words) by debrief Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: “I’m not sure how aware you are, but people online have started speculating about Oscar since last weekend,” Linda’s static voice comes through. Lando swivels around on his heel. “About Oscar being a merman? What? How—” “No,” Linda says, measured. “They’re speculating that he’s your wag.” A pause. “What’s a wag?” Oscar asks.

oOoOoOo

he may be your dog but he's wearing my collar (3611 words) by glasscushion Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: “I'll be two minutes, and then we can try and get that stupid collar off you.” Lando’s bottom lip drops and his face glazes over. “Huh?” His tongue slips out, fat and wet, and traces the edge of his front teeth. “The trophy. That's what it looks like, isn't it? A collar.” Oscar mimes hooking a finger inside a shirt collar and gags. “All tight like that, on your throat.” "Ha." It's not a laugh, just an open-mouthed noise. “Yeah. Suppose so.”

oOoOoOo

roll two ones on the dice (4190 words) by anderstorpgrandprix Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: “There we go,” Oscar mumbles, and the belt unravels from Lando’s wrist. Lando rubs his skin, looks at the faint red mark around it. Oscar starts to work on the knot around the bedpost and asks, “Do I wanna know why you’re tied up?” “So I wouldn’t go anywhere. Sleepwalk or teleport or whatever.” “Right,” Oscar huffs. “And now I’m here instead.”

oOoOoOo

no proof, not much (but you saw enough) (3494 words) by ipleadbritney Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: A soul bond is like any other type of magic; you can buy it in a bottle. Or, to be more precise, you can manufacture it. Oscar and Lando are accused of having an illegal soul bond.

oOoOoOo

from the ashes (phoenix rising) (8996 words) by 14CookiesGone Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: Oscar’s gotten used to the dull ache between his shoulder blades. His wings, which were not yet fully feathered when he stepped into his role as test and reserve driver at Alpine, have always carried an additional weight than they probably should. They’re also dull - a murky yellow and burnt orange combination that makes him look like the back end of forgotten autumn. A forgotten talent, perhaps. OR Oscar's wings begin to change during the 2023 season, and he does his best to figure out why.

oOoOoOo

Needs Improvement (7104 words) by peachbellini Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: Will you shut up? Oscar thinks, trying to remember where his bite point is, Lando’s voice ringing in his ears. He doesn’t want to say it out loud, be rude to him on the radio for the world to hear, but this is just silly. Distracting. I can’t drive with you shouting like that. You’re not going to disappoint anyone. The lights start to count up Wait Lando sounds confused. How can you hear what I’m thinking?

oOoOoOo

sju sorters blommor (5940 words) by anderstorpgrandprix Rating: Mature Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Summary: “You should’ve heard Kim’s scream,” Oscar continues. He gestures down at his sneakers, then, at the purple stains covering almost the entire left shoe. “And I spilled smoothie all over myself.” “M’sorry,” Lando says. He doesn’t mean to, really, but it rushes out of him. He’s embarrassed, and tired, and sick of it, so his normally subpar brain-to-mouth filter is down for the count. Oscar huffs. “Why are you sorry? It’s not like you—oh. Oh no. Oh no.” Lando feels himself flush. He’s warm all over, skin prickling, and it doesn’t help that Oscar is suddenly bending over in laughter, slapping his thigh like this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to him. “It’s not funny.” Oscar keeps laughing, hands on his knees to support the way his body convulses. It's a bit over the top, Lando thinks. “You caused an earthquake!”

oOoOoOo

fluorescent (kid, adult and everything in between) (10515 words) by AnItalianFrie Rating: Not Rated Relationships: Alexander Albon/George Russell Summary: When George is five, he falls while playing in the garden of his house. His mum finds him there, crying on the ground and hugging his scrapped left knee, his face red, ugly snot dripping down his nose, and his skin glowing. or George is in love with Alex. He also glows. He tries to cope with both.

MASTERPOST

[oizysian]

IV. ALL THAT YOU LOVE

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 1.5k

•

It was early in the afternoon when I heard my phone go off. I groaned, the sun blinding me as I turned over and opened my eyes, trying to locate my phone. I reached over to the coffee table in front of me and grabbed for it, falling off the pullout couch I was laying on as I did so.

"Fuck." I let out a groan, grabbing at my shoulder and sitting up.

After rubbing the temporary hurt, I picked up the phone and checked who was texting me.

???: Hey, Y/N! It's Lizzie! Do you still wanna meet up for lunch? I know a cute little bistro by your hotel if you're interested. Let me know, okay?

It took me a moment to register what I was seeing before realizing that it was Elizabeth texting me about our lunch date. No, stupid, not a date - she's married, stop that.

I checked the time, nearly 10:30am. I sighed and sat up against the couch, eyeing the bed where Brie was still asleep. What was I gonna do about her? Maybe I'd bring her some food back if she wasn't up by the time I was ready to leave.

With a little bit of a struggle, I got up from the floor, my body stiff and my head still spinning a little bit. Even though I had way less to drink than Brie did, I still had a little bit of a hangover. She was gonna have the worst headache of her life when she woke up.

I went into the bathroom, splashing some water on my face to wake myself up. This was the day I'd been waiting for forever. The woman who I had the biggest crush in the world on, who I had just met last night, was meeting me for lunch. I had to be on the top of my game.

I brushed my teeth and got dressed, deciding on a simple outfit, not much different than the one I wore the night prior. I took two aspirin and a glass of water and placed it on the nightstand next to the bed on the side closest to Brie so that when she woke up, she'd see it and maybe it would lessen her hangover. Maybe.

As I was putting on my shoes, my phone went off again. It was Elizabeth letting me know she was downstairs. Okay, this was it. I could do this.

I took a deep breath and collected my belongings. I looked back at Brie to see if she had woken up and when I was absolutely sure she was still asleep, I left, closing the door behind myself as quietly as I possibly could.

I nearly ran down the hall towards the elevator, beyond excited to be meeting Elizabeth fucking Olsen for lunch. I got in the elevator, wringing my hands nervously as I quickly approached the lobby.

Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid.

I held my breath as the doors opened. I stepped out, discreetly looking around for her as I exited the building.

"Y/N! Hey!" I heard a feminine voice call me and I turned to see Elizabeth waving at me just a few feet away from where I was standing.

"Hey." I greeted her back, walking up to her and only being slightly surprised at the giant hug she gave me as a hello.

"I'm so glad you decided to have lunch with me before you left for New York."

"How could I say no?" I smiled at her and she linked her arm with my own, leading me down the street.

I looked down at our arms interlocked and I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest. This closeness was a lot to take in.

"This place makes the best sandwiches and the coffee is to die for. Do you like coffee?" She asked me and I nodded.

"Iced mostly, but I drink it."

"Me too. I love iced coffee. And smoothies. Pretty much anything cold. Especially ice cream."

"I love ice cream." I smiled at her enthusiasm, wondering where she got all this energy from so early in the day.

"What's your favorite flavor?"

"Hm ... jamoca almond fudge. A Baskin Robbins exclusive. What's yours?"

"Pumpkin. Or caramel crunch. With toffee."

"Pumpkin?" I make a face. "Yuck. Absolutely yucky."

"No!" She cried out, tugging on my arm. "You have to try it! There's a place in the east village that has the absolute best pumpkin flavored ice cream!"

"I'm not sure how I feel about pumpkin flavored anything." I chuckled, watching as she pouted at my words.

"Please, just once! Come with me to get pumpkin ice cream, you won't regret it, I promise."

I looked at her for a split second and nodded, giving in rather easily. Even though the thought and idea of pumpkin flavored ice cream disgusted me to my very core, I would try it for her.

"Next time you're in New York we can try it."

"Yes!" She cheered, bouncing slightly on her toes as we continued to walk.

Before I had a chance to respond we had arrived at our destination. She led me inside and spoke to the hostess, confirming her reservation and she led us to a secluded table outside where we got comfortable and started looking at the menu.

"Everything sounds so good." I murmured to myself, flipping between the lunch section and the drinks.

"This is what I recommend."

She pointed out a few items and I hesitantly chose one that she picked out, wanting to try something new but afraid of my pickiness getting in the way.

"You'll love it. The chicken here is so good."

"I trust you, Elizabeth. I know you won't steer me wrong."

"Call me Lizzie. People only call me Elizabeth in a professional sense."

"Okay. I trust you, Lizzie."

She smiled brightly at me and I nervously took a sip of my water. Damn, why did she have to be so cute.

"So, tell me more about your video games."

"I can only tell you about how much I love them, 'cos that's all I know."

She giggled, resting her chin in her hand and leaning her elbow on the table.

"Are video games all that you love?"

I blushed slightly, shaking my head at her words.

"No, I love other things too."

"Oh? Like what?"

You.

"Sleeping. I sleep a lot."

"Mm, I wish I could say that." She looked at me for a moment before speaking again. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I shook my head.

"Girlfriend?"

I shook my head again.

"I'm very single. I haven't had a girlfriend for quite a few years."

She nodded at my words and leaned back in her seat when the waiter arrived to take our order. She waited for them to leave before striking up the conversation again.

"You seem really close to Brie." She was no longer looking at me, her attention now on the glass of water in front of her. "Do you guys ... like each other?"

What an odd question. I took a moment to think about it before answering her. Did I like Brie? Of course I did, but did I want to date her? I mean, maybe if I had met her before knowing about the existence of Elizabeth. I had a huge crush on her and despite the fact that I had only just met her, I got butterflies when she was around and I just didn't feel that way about Brie.

"Not like that. On my end, at least. I can't speak for Brie."

She nodded in understanding, taking a sip of her water.

"I would've guessed differently from the way you were both acting yesterday."

"Yeah, I know." I smiled slightly. "We're just really good friends. We have a lot of the same interests and she's a really great person to hang out with."

"Maybe I should get to know her more myself." She spoke and I nodded.

"You could always play video games with us. We could teach you Mario Kart."

"Oh, I love Mario! I wanna play as Princess Peach."

"I usually play as baby Daisy. Brie seems like a Dry Bones kinda guy."

"Dry Bones?" She questioned and I realized that she probably hadn't played any Mario games with the newer characters in them.

"We gotta catch you up with Mario lore." I laughed and she scrunched up her nose in amusement.

"I think that'll be fun."

We ate our lunch, chatting about nothing and everything. She insisted on paying and I let her, but only after she promised she'd let me pay when she came to visit New York. I bought Brie something small to eat and we left, her arm linked with mine once again as we made our way back to the hotel.

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS

Elizabeth Olsen was seen having lunch with a mystery woman today. Sources say the duo met last night at the most recent Marvel afterparty.

Elizabeth, seen here, enjoyed lunch and spoke animatedly throughout the meal.

EDIT: Sources say the mystery woman is Twitch streamer Y/N, known as y/n_gaymergod on the internet.

•

@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp

[hg-aneh]

all this talk about putting eggs in smoothies are gonna make me want to do it myself was this your plan all along? 🤔

if you're american please don't do it, i dont wanna be responsible for a salmonella outbreak HSNAFK

otherwise, go ahead

and no, y'see, there's a peruvian smoothie recipe that specifically includes one or two eggs

i just somehow thought smoothie eggs were a *thing* for everyone else sjnsbf

[phoenix--flying]

pjo characters as things my friend group has said

Hazel: I just kinda radiate towards caves

Nico: Breathing has been taken out of Nicos software

Connor: I can speedrun to your house when you're home alone

Cecil: raisins are dehydrated rats

Percy: It's a roller coaster where the only option is to die

Will: I just goooot- my jugular sliced open by a cat

Nico: We're going out tonight and killing all the homophobes. Call it a date

Will: Why am I so much taller then- Oh its cause im standing on a dead body

Connor: You're sooo welcome. I literally did nothing

Hazel: Just because your trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called a trash can not a trash cannot

Piper: Cut my hair, I'll cut your throat

Thalia: Sometimes I do slap kids

Travis: When I grow up I'm gonna be a legal drug dealer

Beckendorf: I’m going to drop kick myself into space

Malcom: Briefly describe three applications that make use of the total eternal reflection of light Connor: The colour seven

Grover: Percys reaching old age, we should put him in a retirement home

Piper: Leo what did you do Leo: I may have burned down an orphanage and it may have spread to this site.

Lou Ellen: Travelling, usually done on the ceiling

Will: Imagine sitting on your couch watching TV and your phone buzzes. Reminder: Breathe

Austin: i just broke an acorn.. panic whY IS THERE AN ACORN IN MY ROOM

Nico: i feel like today happened yesterday and i just slept for all of tomorrow and woke up in the evening

Malcom: yeah i fell down the stairs and broke my spine in 3 places Connor: that's hot

Jason: Nitroglycerin. The forbidden smoothie

Will: I always look like trash. Annabeth: I know that's why I hate looking like trash

Travis: well we only have a few minutes left of class.. y'all wanna watch something explode

Piper: It sounded like you smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and then hit puberty

Jason: Imagine you get fired the day after you die

Nico: My stomach just like...started learning German

Nyssa: Leo if you don't leave, i'm shoving this desk fan up your ass

Jason: I slammed my foot on the accelerator, running multiple red lights at 220km/h, because I wanted to drive safe

Nyssa: When you go through the car wash but you forget the car

Drew: *points at trashcan* That looks like you

Nico: I only want chemistry between me and a coffin

Jake: Gotta put your wheelchair in 4Wheeldrive. Outdoor mode. Off-road mode

Leo: Murder is ok as long as its fine

Percy: Maybe if I fall asleep on my textbook I'll wake up with all the knowledge

Connor: Let's play spin the bottle but it's only you and me

Leo: Now how do we calculate the density if swiss cheese

Clarisse: I have to ask one of the experts Chris: Who are the experts? Clarisse: I don't know

Piper: Your mom is on vacation Leo: well- she's on a permanent vacation

Michael: AYO BITCH YOUR FOODS FLAMIN THE FUCK

Silena: If you're slow I'm a fucking snail

Jason: We need to hold a funeral! Percy: Here comes the bride

Beckendorf: Have you ever died? No??? Well here you go!!! Death simulator. It’s permanent!

*Annabeth and Percy sitting on a bench with drinks and a cop drives by* Percy: What if they thought we were drinking and driving Annabeth: We're not in a car

Will: I'm so smart Nico: Oh my god since when

Piper: *gives Leo a singular goldfish* Piper: Feeding the poor

Lou Ellen: Bless your soul Nico: What soul? Lou Ellen: ...good answer

Sherman: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and anybody else if you throw it hard enough

Connor: I can see the veins in my eyes

Ellis: Whatever sinks your boat!

Cecil: You can't kill the gays if the gays kill you first

Will: dude sorry there's a knife in your grandma's face it grew wings and flew there :( Cecil: I’m sorry my knife flew out of my hand and slit that guys throat then burned it so he wouldn’t bleed

Silena: *playing Minecraft* I walked into your house and your birds started aggressively dancing at me

Lee: That's just so unfortunate for me. That is just so- oh I died

Percy: Wanna go to Toronto? Why drive just take the Earth Quake on natural disaster

Travis: The roof is just caving in on us it's fine

Michael: My arms are broken, my legs are broken, my lungs are broken, my knees are broken, I got decapitated when I was five

Connor: We're gonna die? No we're gonna beat the speedrun world record

Cecil: Hell to go down I there

Will: Mask to mask resuscitation

Travis: I may or may not have accidentally dropped a match in the building on purpose

Nico: Minecraft but I accidentally sets a school on fire

Percy: Minecraft but I die of hypothermia

Piper: Minecraft but I left my eyes at home

Jake: Minecraft but my legs are broken

Jason: Minecraft but I died

Lou Ellen: Minecraft but we're all gay

Will: If I die the game is homophobic

Cecil: Minecraft but I run my best friend over

Nico: I wanna hit a citizen with a baseball bat

Michael: Hey sir, you have Alzheimer’s. Would you like a side of bronchitis?

Silena: Why can't this be straight? Lee: Because you're not

Lou Ellen: mmmm i love my jesus fish Cecil: bro jesus fish Lou Ellen: ikr, jesus moment

[z0mbi3k1d]

Romanticizing life Part 4

Food ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

This is just gonna be abt healthy food swaps and things different foods can do for you, I'm not promoting Ed at all!!

Note‼️‼️

Only do these if you want to, you should enjoy your life. That means don't do food swaps all the time, treat yourself! To be honest I probably won't do any of these because I'm happy with my body and don't have too, you should be happy with yourself too!

Eating Healthy 🍓

It is important to eat healthy! It can do lots for your body, skin, and mood, I'm going to give you some healthy food swaps and tasty snacks to help!

Toxic things to get out of your head 🐇

Before I'm going to share these it's important to me that you don't use this unhealthy, stop telling yourself these things

"I need to eat healthy to loose weight"

No, you don't. All bodies are shaped different and process food differently, allergies for example. Not everyone has allergies so what makes you think everyone processes all food the same? You can still be healthy without 'looking healthy'

"I'll only eat for energy, not taste"

Man just enjoy your life 😭 I see ppl say this a lot but it doesn't make sense. Break your shell and try more foods and flavors, enjoy yourself

"I have to look like them"

Nuh uh! You're hotter 💋

Remember if you wouldn't say it to a bunny DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR SELF‼️‼️

Food swaps 🍡

Here's some food swaps for you!

Sugary cereal ~ Oats with fruit

Ice cream ~ acai bowl

Coffee ~ matcha/Chai

Chips ~ Popcorn

White bread ~ sourdough

My personal favorite healthy foods 🧁

I'd consider myself a pretty picky eater so when it comes to healthy foods this is what I eat

I love all fruits strawberries, blueberries, bananas ect. Fruits are great bc you can do lots with them, you can make smoothies, put them in yogurt or just eat them normally

Peanut butter, okay so I'm not a huge fan but there's a lot you can do with peanut butter and you an make really healthy stuff with it

Granola, guys granola is soooo good I used to eat the bars and they had honey on them too it was so good

Honey is also good but yk

Hummus.. Lowkey feel like a nerd for saying I like it but I do. If you wanna be healthy with it you could use cucumbers!

Cucumbers>>> squash (I hate squash it's so disgusting :p)

Tuna, it has like Idk it's good for you in some ways I wasn't really listening to my father when he was talking abt it

I love nuts!! I think they're a good quick snack

I'd you don't like water get some of the flavors things, they have energy and low cal ones

Apparently dark chocolate is gold for you too sooo

Salmon is also healthy hehe >:)

Chia seeds barley taste like anything so put them in your yogurt or something

TEA TEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD

Things foods can do for you 🍮

Idk how much of this is true but I'm not gonna gatekeep just in case

Dark chocolate can

Holy crap apparently it can protect against UV rays?? 😭😭

It fights tooth decay

And it's a brain food

More brain food

Nuts

Avocados

Eggs

Chia seeds

Fruits

I'm telling you fruits are good for anything and they're sweet!!! They are perfect!!! (If you don't like fruit consider yourself an opp)

Thanks for reading!! 🩷🩷

Thanks for reading!! Have a great day, remember to eat what you want and stay happy!! I love you my sweet angels!! 🩷🩷

[jinx-420]

Summer fling 2 - classic trick

Pt one - Summer fling

Summary: Your brothers childhood friend joins your family’s annual summer beach trip, nothing has changed between you two…right?

Warnings: brothers bsf Abby x fem reader, gets a teeny bit smutty, smoking weed, Abby calls reader princess like a billion times. this isn't proof read at all..

A/N : this was sitting in the drafts unfinished foreverrrr so I forced myself to write rq so I didn’t wanna leave y’all hangin for even longer 😍 I hope this one is good enough 🔥‼️

“Abby would you be a dear and wake her up, honey?” Abby politely agreed and put her focus on you, which doing so happened to keep her entertained the entire car ride. Your hair was slightly messy as you turned in your sleep. Abby would be lying if she said she hasn’t felt a little creepy staring at you sleeping for so long, but she just can’t stop looking at you, observing your features, wondering what your dreaming about. it almost gave abby a sense of nostalgia as she recalls when you were a kid, always falling asleep on road trips or whenever they had movie nights, which always ended with Jordan having to wake you up, leading you to become grumpy for the remainder of the movie. Abby wished she could be the one to wake you up every time, even though you had a known tendency to be grumpy when woken up, she didn’t care, if given the opportunity Abby would make you a perfect breakfast in bed in return for a kiss. (Not like she planned it out or anything) to be truthful Abby was slightly intimidated by the task of waking you, which is logical considering she had never woken you before, Jordan always rushing to annoy you. As Abby was picking at the reasons to not wake you up in her head, they were pulling into a gas station so Abby knew it was inevitable. She would just have to cross her fingers and hope for the best. She approached you gentle and brung her hand to your head, softly pushing your hair behind your ear before she moved her hands to your cheeks, gently caressing your face until your eyelids twitched, letting her know you would be waking up. You let out a gentle sign as your body started to wake up. With your barely conscious, blurry waking up brain, you snuggled into whatever the hell was so warm and comfortable.. which was Abby. Her brain practically short circuited seeing you getting very comfortable with her body. You snuggled your face on her waist, her shirt rising as you snuggle slightly deeper into the material, Abby feeling your face but more importantly lips on her waist. Abby felt pathetic the way you were making her feel like she was touch starved, she was always the one for that job. with other girls she was contained and abby always the one making them flustered, but with you it was a whole different story. Abby doesn’t comprehend how you seem to be making her a mess when you don’t even mean to, it’s honestly frustrating. even just last night Abby found herself almost loosing her composure with just having you touch her. She also is reminded of the fact that you got her so worked up and so fucking desperate for you, she couldn’t help but relieve all the ache you gave her after practically teasing her all night. Abby would also like to brush over the fact that she used your hoodie to get off, or just forget about the whole thing completely. “Is she awake yet” Jordan asks, snapping Abby out of her haze. “Oh she’s waking up” Abby says trying to play off the fact she zoned out staring at you. “Alright do you want to come with me in the gas station?” He asked while yawning. “Nah I’m good but can you get me a water and get her those smoothies she likes?” Abby said watching as he gets out of the car. “Yeah sure, be back in a sec” he says shutting the door softly, jogging up to your mom. Abby was so caught up in the conversation with Jordan she failed to realize you stirring in your sleep a bit.

“Cmon don’t give me a hard time wake up” Abby says with a giggle and squishing your cheeks together until you finally opened your eyes and gave her an unexpected hazy smile. “There she is, you get your beauty sleep princess ?” She says ruffling your hair. You playfully swat her hand away as you start to sit up, taking in the fact you were sleeping on her. “Oh shit, I’m sorry i didn’t plan to sleep that long..” you say as you look outside to see the dark skies. “Like I said last night, I don’t mind you snuggling up to me” Abby said with a little chuckle, seeing that you were slightly frantic. You had to admit this was the first time someone had woken you up that you didn’t want to kill them first thing you do, in fact you wished that abby would wake you up ever morning. Seeing that face first thing when you wake up, now that’s how you start the day.

“Anyways how’d you sleep?” Abby said staring relentlessly in the eyes that she missed so dearly. “Mmm you know it could be better” you say sarcastically with a teasing smile, staring the same way into her own eyes. “Oh is that so?” Abby said leaning back with her arms crossed together, manspreading an unnecessary amount. Although you were tempted more than anything to look at her arms or legs, you refuse to break eye contact. “Mhm” you say nodding your head. “If I was so uncomfortable then how come you just kept snuggling deeper and deeper into me hm?” Abby said with rasp at the end, making the eye contact almost unbearable, but you still didn’t give in. “Yeah right” you said feeling your face heating up, trying to play off how you knew it was most likely true. “Oh yeah? not like I have proof or anything..” abby said suspiciously looking around with a smile. “Abby I will kill you if you took a picture” you said, covering your face with your hands. you heard her trying to conceal her laugh and that’s when you looked back at her hesitantly. she was already pulling up the photo of you sleeping on her, snuggled right on her thighs and head slightly under her shirt. “Nuh. Uh.” You said in disbelief at her. “Your dead” you said through a giggle as you tried to reach her phone, after failing to swat her phone out of her hands a couple times you started to get closer, crawling so her leg was in between both of your knees. “Abby I’m serious.” You said failing to do so as she holds it in her hands giggling. You tried prying her fingers apart to get your phone but she didn’t let up. You let out a deep breath as you leaned your head against the seat, tired and accepting defeat that Abby would have the photo. Too busy staring at the stars, you miss the way Abby looks you up and down on her leg, paying extra attention to how your lips are parted, slightly out of breath, imagining this is how it would look after she fucked you. After a moment of silence you glance at Abby to see her giving you eyes that made her look drunk, slightly heavy while looking up at you. “What is it” you say quietly as if someone could hear you both, A smile growing across your face. Meanwhile Abby was far too deep in her thoughts to respond. Abby was going through possibility of you being into girls, she has always wondered. I mean you were the one to make Abby realize she liked women after all. She thought about all the times she tried to get something out of you to see any hint of your sexual orientation. It went from asking if you know who an openly gay person was, to picking a movie in which she knows there’s a lesbian sex scene. She would watch and observe you almost as much as the movie, trying to find any indication you liked it. And that’s exactly what she was doing right now, scanning your face to see any want in your eyes for her. “no use…” Abby said under her breath, not repeating herself when she heard you reciprocate a soft “hm?”.

you felt more confused than ever, did Abby say “no use” and if so why? You were silently staring at her trying to see where it came from. It’s not like your bad at reading people’s emotions, you have always been good at it especially with people important to you, So why couldn’t you read Abby ? Maybe it was a mix of not wanting to assume anything crazy and also that she changed?

“Hey guys, got your drinks”

———————————————————

You were peacefully reading your book, only calming your mind down from everything with Abby just a short while ago. “Gotcha” Jordan says cackling like a witch as he snatched your book away from you. “Ohmygod you’re such a dick give it back” you say rushed before you lean over the seat to achieve your book once again, quickly sitting back down. he should know you don’t play around with your books. You let out a sigh as you recognize that Abby was particularly quiet when this ordeal happened. You glance over at her but didn’t suspect her to still be on her phone, uncaring. This behavior wasn’t like Abby, you don’t remember one time where she didn’t stick up for you or help you when your brother would pick on you but she didn’t even look.. is something still wrong from earlier ? If there’s one thing you absolutely hate, it’s when someone is mad at you and you don’t know why. You plan to sort this out as soon as you can, you hate that she’s the only thing you can think about right now.

Obviously, too zoned out to notice practically anything right now, the thing that caught you out of your trance wasn’t your mom and brother cheering at our arrival to the vacation house, it wasn’t the bumps on the bridge you were crossing, and it wasn’t the bright view of the sunrise above the ocean water. It was her, giving you those same damn eyes again. With all this time in the car you have had more than enough time to think things over, I mean cmon who looks at their childhood friends like that? You can’t be imagining things.

It felt like it was just the two of you, stuck in a trance together. If things could get any better, it definitely just did. her desperate eyes rake over your body, her lips separating as she lets out a rushed breath. she looks back into your eyes, seeing your face all flushed and the same desperate look in your eyes. You wish more than anything to stay in your own little world like this forever with Abby but your brother had to ruin it once again.

“Me and Abby get the biggest room”

He says as he climbs out of the car.

Your mom looks at Jordan as she’s stepping out of the car conflicted. “Oh about that honey, I think it would be best if two girls had the same room..”

Jordan looks at you both and your mom confused. “Just for sleeping Jordan, she can stay as long as she wants with you just not in the same bed” Jordan rolls his eyes before shutting the door to get his luggage.

You took a breath before starting to sit up and leave the car before you feel a firm hand on your shoulder holding you down. “Don’t worry, we’ll have lots fun princess” she said leaned into you in a quiet voice, lifting her hand off your shoulder. You felt so intimidated by her, those fucking eyes kill you. Not to mention when she touches you it does things to you that you don’t understand. You silently pray things will go your way this beach trip.

———————————————————

It had been hours since everyone got packed in and comfy, the sun already set and stars starting to come out. As you sit on the balcony outside your room the smell of the ocean as the summer breeze hits you brings you back to every year you come here. You would like to focus on these memories but of course, abby intrudes your mind, specifically the fact that you two will be sharing a bed this whole trip. (not that your complaining) the only thing that scared you with her was the fact that you not only grew up with her, but she’s practically your family, which is off limits. “watcha doin out here” a much too familiar voice comes from behind you. “Just lookin” you said simply as you keep your eyes on the sky above you. “Looking at the stars?” Abby says coming closer. “Looking at how perfect it is here” you said looking at her next to you. The light from the moon illuminating her face and making her the most perfect thing here. Abby adored the way you would stare at her in moments like these, but she had to look away in order to not embarrass herself again. “What time is it?” Abby said as she stood next to you. You looked at her side profile and took in her appearance for a second, she was wearing a grey muscle shirt and black sweatpants. Before you were caught staring too long you looked at your phone to check the time. “11pm” you said while clicking your phone back off. She let out a hum and it went silent, both of you looking at the stars above you. Atleast that’s what you think, abby was far too busy staring at you. You were observing the little craters in the moon before you felt your body being lifted across her shoulder, making you shriek her name before giggling. Abby took it upon herself to sit down in the chair you were once sitting on and placed you right on her lap, your legs straddling hers, her arms snaking around your waist tightly, locking you onto her. You look at her as you move a bit in her lap, “not comfy ?” She asked with her eyebrows slightly concerned. You opened your mouth to respond before she pulled your lower back further on her lap, pressed fully against each other. You closed your mouth quickly to stop any noises to come out from the friction of her practically grinding you onto her. No way you would survive a whole month of this. “You wanna smoke?” Abby said casually like this was nothing as she tilts her head against you looking like a puppy dog. You nod your head almost hypnotized on her. She smiles with her teeth digging into her bottom lip, reaching in her pockets and pulling out a joint and a lighter. She placed the joint in between your lips and lit the end as you inhaled, the smoke in your lungs comforting you already. She takes the joint and takes a hit herself, blowing it away from you before leaning in to give you another hit. As you inhaled Abby pointed and said loudly “Shark !!!”your eyes went wide at her outburst as you start to cough on the smoke. You begin laughing as you see her smile and punch her slightly on the arm. “Asshole”

The both of you stayed out there for hours, talking about anything and everything.

———————————————————

“Hey, you fallin asleep again?”

Abby said in a level just above a whisper, everyone else asleep in the house. “Pshhh me? I never fall asleep” you said yawning mid sentence, making you both giggle an absurd amount. “You know what I was thinkin?” She said still giggling. “Oh god up to no good” you say hiding in her chest tearing up from all the high laughs. “We never did that prank on Jordan, I say now’s the perfect time” she said raising her eyebrows at the last bit. Your eyes widen at her words remembering the forgotten prank. “I’ll get the water” you said quickly, ready to get some payback. You attempted to raise yourself off of Abby before she pulled you back onto her, once again pulling your lower back to be against her. “Easy tiger, don’t you think we could do better than the classic trick” abby said finger quoting the end. “You’re so right. What are you thinkin ?” You said curious to what trick would be better. Abby looked around pondering before raising her brows. “Man.. I got a great one but I don’t think you can handle it.” She said slightly teasing you, blowing air out of her puffed cheeks and looking up. “oh shut up I can handle anything” you say shocked that she thinks you can’t handle a little prank, it was a little prank right? You thought before she tsked and looked you right in the eyes “how mad do you want him to be” Abby asked, eyebrows raised waiting for your answer. ��Mad.” You said widening your eyes. Abby observed your face for a minute before responding. “Let’s make him think we’re fucking right next to him” your mouth falls open as you stifle a laugh. “And how are we ganna do that” you say in disbelief. “Well.. let’s go in his room, and then we’ll “fuck”and wake him up. Boom. Simple.” Abby said waiting for your reaction before laughing. “Relax, he will only be mad for a few seconds” she said still waiting for your response, biting her lip. “Fuck it” you said throwing your hands up laughing with Abby. “Atta girl” she said before reaching under your thighs holding you on her while standing up. God if Abby keeps it up with these praises your ganna go crazy. Abby steps into his room to hear his snoring and you immediately spot his led light and point to it making Abby chuckle, she switches it from the current color : blue, and change it to red. Abby walks over to the couch in his room and lays you down on it gently, picking up a blanket next to you before covering your legs in it. “I’m not cold abby” you said slightly confused. Abby looked at you briefly before sitting down infront of your legs “the blankets not there for heat babe” she says with a wink. Your face flushes realizing what you’re going to have to do to wake him up. as she put her arms under the blanket to spread your legs. “If everything goes to plan, we do this and he gets mad when he lifts up the blanket I’ll take a picture of his face” Abby said smiling and waiting for your response. if Abby knew all she had to do was a simple prank to get in between your thighs then this would be the “classic trick”

“Why can’t I be the one in the blanket” you said softly sitting up to meet Abby’s face. She scoffed before speaking in a raspy whisper “because which one of use looks like a pussy eater and which one of us looks like a pillow princess.” She said with a brief innocent smile. Your mouth was left open as you process her words, does Abby not know your lesbian? You’ve got to be joking. “Looks can be deceiving..” you say looking away with your lips to the side. Abby thought she was hearing things, “what’s that suppose to mean” Abby says quickly, Desperate for any clue you could want her. “Your not the only one that eats pussy is what I mean, Abby. And trust me. I am not a pillow princess.” You say simply stating facts. Nothing in the world could have possibly prepared Abby for what she was hearing. All this time you were lesbian? And from the sound of it as big as a lesbian as her? Abby’s head was spinning as she felt her face catch on fire and struggle to speak. Abby felt weak as she stared into your eyes, the eyes that didn’t know how wet she just made her, and just how much more Abby needed you. You loved seeing Abby in this state, it was definitely a rare sight and god you weren’t complaining one bit. Seeing her flustered was one thing but knowing that you caused it, filled you with feelings of pride and possessiveness that you want to keep feeling. “Abby” you whispered inching closer to her face. she had the same look on her face from the car, desperate. “Mhm” she responded, her eyes on at your lips. “Can I kiss y-“ Before being able to even finish your sentence Abby puts her hands on each side of your face and closes the space in between you. Finally feeling the lips you’ve thought about all these years felt like a drug, and you needed more. You put your much smaller hands on top of hers and moved your lips with hers like it would be the last time, your teeth grazed her puffy bottom lip before sliding your tongue over it making Abby audibly whimper. You felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t feel more of her soon, especially after hearing her whimpering. You pulled away to catch your breath to see a sight that defeated the purpose of doing so, Abby looking all fucked out with her puffy dark lips and flushed face. And those fucking eyes. She swallowed before speaking up in a voice that was pure lust. “Fuck this prank, strip.”