#I just liked the very matter of fact way that ryan said he was gonna get sloshed lol

[joyful-soul-collector]

Petition for Watcher to repost their tik toks here so tumblrinas don't have to miss out on gems like this

[spacerockfloater]

hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!

Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!

If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.

Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?

Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.

For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.

It’s all just marketing

That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.

Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.

The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.

Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.

All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.

[suckmyfatdee]

Clear Bias towards Team Black(A lot of possible spoilers)

If you are against what I wrote and don't like it, then scroll or block me, idc, don't waste your time commenting and ridiculing me because trust me, for these opinions I've heard the same thing over and over again and you're not gonna change my mind by writing an angry comment. The comment will just be deleted and you blocked because not everyone wants to argue with someone in their comments. And for those who saw something similar on reddit, that's because I posted the same thing on reddit.

I've seen people online talk about how the screenwriters are not actually biased towards Team Black because they've made Team Green less vicious than in the books and made them sympathetic...and they're wrong in my humble opinion. This rant is gonna be long probably and my english is not the best so...

Starting off with Ryan Condal constantly talking about how the books are propaganda against Rhaenyra...why specifically Rhaenyra? He says it's because Rhaenyra is a woman. How that isn't enough to make it clear that he favours Team Black(the oh so feminist team) is beyond me. The books have always been about having morally grey characters which makes sense given that the story is set in medieval times and it's literally a world where dragons exist. So naturally they don't have the same morals as we have in real life at this point in time, so to us they will always be morally grey, as intended.

Also let's talk about the fact that even if they made Team Green more sympathetic they've also destroyed them in the process.

INTRODUCTION OF TEAM GREEN:

● For older Rhaenyra and Alicent where they've already been divided into Team Green and Team Black, Rhaenyra is introduced giving birth, obviously very much in pain and exhausted. And before they introduce adult Alicent, they talk about her asking for Rhaenyra's babe and then they show Rhaenyra walking around the Red Keep, with blood trailing after her and in obvious pain having just given birth...that's how they introduced Alicent. Literally her asking a woman, who has just given birth, to bring her babe(even tho she didn't ask for Rhaenyra but whatever).

● "Older" Criston Cole is introduced in the background barely, if at all, reacting when Rhaenyra walks around the Red Keep with blood trailing after her...

● Then young Aegon(in his teen years) is introduced bullying his younger brother, which by the way never happened in the books, if anything it was the Strong boys and Viserys. And then right after that, sexually humiliated and shown jerking out the window.

● And as for older Aegon they first show his victim Dyana, who we know what he did to(even tho this also never happened in the books), violently crying and extremely traumatized. And right after that, Aegon waking up(also once again sexually humiliated) and not caring for what he did referring to it as just some "harmless" fun. That's something the audience can't get over, that's how he was introduced, and a rapist is hard to be fond of(naturally) especially with how little, if at all, he cared. But it wasn't even about the victim in this scene, we don't get any elaboration on how Dyana dealt with it or even how the other maids reacted only Alicent's dossapointment in Aegon and her disowning him. ONLY THEN they choose to make him sympathetic, letting him cry and talk about how he will never be good anough for his parents and Alicent rolling her eyes RIGHT after he is introduced as a rapist. Making a character of one faction a rapist is the easiest way to make the other faction look better and be more likeable, no matter how sympathetic they make said character(Aegon) thereafter.

● Older Helaena is introduced walking in on her brother husband crying and her asking about the very woman her brother-husband just raped. That's all we know of her in the first scene.

● Older Aemond is introduced fairly badass, I didn't have a problem with that.

MAKING TEAM GREEN INSULT RHAENYRA JUST TO DISTRACT FROM CERTAIN THINGS....:

● While Alicent and Criston are talking about Rhaenyra committing High Treason and her father not giving a flying shit, they make Criston call her a spoiled cunt.

● They made Vaemond call Rhaenyra a whore just before they made Daemon kill him so it was kind of a "Ha! He had it coming moment", which I don't remember Vaemon doing in the books but sure go on(Also, in the books it was Rhaenyra that ordered Daemon to kill Vaemond before she had Syrax eat him and then yk what else...)

● Season two it kicked off amazingly and Aegon was definitely the most entertaining character for many. I don't think I need to elaborate on what I think about the B & C scene, given Geroge has taken the words right out of my mouth. But let's talk about the small council meeting right after Aegon found out what happened to Jaehaerys. Not even in Aegon's grief do they exclude Rhaenyra, and I'm not talking about the fact that they blamed Rhaenyra but rather that they made Aegon insult Rhaenyra. And while I loved the scene and understood why a grieving father would insult his rival who is most likely responsible for the death of his son, of course a lot of people focused on him insulting Rhaenyra instead of him having just lost his son to murder.

● Criston's character they've also reduced to nothing but a heartbroken pathetic man who is bitter of a rejection even tho he played such a big part in the books(IMO). But almost every scene of Crirston they make him insult Rhaenyra as if he can't think of anyone but her.

SEXUAL HUMILIATION OF TEAM GREEN:

At this point it's pretty clear they'll sexually humiliate Team Green at any given moment.

● Ser Criston Cole is shown breaking his oath and being coerced(yes coerced, because if we watched the scene it is pretty clear as a day that that is what happened)into sex by Rhaenyra, that was something left unclear in the books but anyways. For Rhaenyra it was seen as her bravely being a girlboss and exploring her sexuality whereas Ser Criston is humiliated by the audience for it.

● As I said Aegon(in his teen years) is sexually humiliated and shown jerking out the window, with his rear on display and his own mother catching him in the act.

● Then after introducing Aegon as a violent rapist, they make Alicent pull the blanket of Aegon once again sexually humiliating him by showing his rear on full display to his mother once again...

● Then they have Helaena making a joke at dinner and we know how people perceived this as...I have no idea if the screenwriters intend to make it seem as Aegon is sexually abusing Helaena but it was seen as such by many.

● Did I forget to mention when they made Aemond and Criston look for Aegon and then they made up a scenario where Aegon forced 13 year old Aemond to have sex with the brothel Madame Silvy, which DID not happen in the books.(and yes I edited this in because I forgot to mention this). So not only is Aegon a rapist but also is the one that orchestrated the rape of his own brother.

● Then they make Larys Strong have a fetish to the very thing related to his cripple...feet. And they make him sexually abuse and coerce Alicent, the Queen, into showing her feet and show him starting to jerk off. Wow!

● In season 2 to make Alicent seem hypocritical they make her and Criston have a sexual relationship(npt even once specualted in the books) and to add insult to injury they make Helaena who freshly watched her son get murdered walk in on them having sex just to make it seem all the more horrible even tho in thw books Alicent was bound and gagged and also watched Jaehaerys get murdered.

● Then they sexually humiliate Aemond by making him lay in the lap of his RAPIST and seek comfort in her.

● A few episodes later they make Aegon, the very reason for Aemond's rape, sexually humilate his brother publicly. Great.

● Oh and of course Aegon for some reason having his cock burned when in the books he was excited to have an heir with that Cassandra Baratheon.

TEAM GREEN DOES NOT BELIEVE IN THEIR OWN CLAIM:

● In the show, they make Aegon's claim weak, if they even make it a claim. Even tho both Rhaenyra and Aegon have a claim. Rhaenyra by Viserys' word and Aegon by birth right and by Andal law.

● Young Alicent however calls Rhaenyra's claim a birthright, which it is not(and yes Book Aegon called it Rhaenyra's birthright once, I know) so she didn't believe in Aegon's claim at all since the start.

● And just to add that they made Rhaenyra see that animal to make it seem as the gods "chose" her.

● The reason Alicent usurped the throne in the show is not because she believes it's her son's birthright at all but rather because she understood Viserys to have said that Aegon was to sit the throne.

● In season two, Aemond, while talking to Ser Criston, also says they usurped Rhaenyra, so to Aemond it wasn't their birthright?

● Aegon and show!Aegon are similar in the books when it comes to the claim, so not much to elaborate on.

Lastly, TEAM GREEN HATES EACH OTHER:

Do I need to elaborate?

There is much more I could say but I don't want to make the post too long. Tried to keep it short and simple but failed(Oops.) Also I got a bit lazy towards the end as you can probably tell.

[justthemis124]

My opinion on “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez story” PART I

If some of you guys have read my presentation post, you know that this show encouraged me to create this blog, because after finishing the last episode, I just needed to talk about it to someone. Unfortunately nobody I know has seen it or is even interested in seeing it. Anyway that’s not the point, I have a lot of things to say about the show, that’s why this post is only a part 1, and I’ll try my best to organize my thoughts as best as I can.

You can read part II just here :))

I. THE RYAN MURPHY PROBLEM

I feel like I needed to start with the most obvious one.

So first of all you need to know that my only knowledge of Ryan Murphy comes from the 5 seasons of American Horror Story that I watched. And the thing that I noticed straight away when watching AHS was the omnipresence of very, very uncomfortable and weird s*x scenes. Every 5 seconds you get these scenes that serve no purpose to the plot whatsoever, it feels like they’re there just for the sake of making people uncomfortable and satisfying whatever perverse desire Ryan Murphy has. Now, I’ll say that American Horror Story is fictional and that, at the end of the day, no matter how disgusting these scenes are, they remain in the fictional realm.

BUT the problem is that RM has clearly brought his weird and obscene fantasies into the world of what I can only think of calling “True Fiction” (a show or movie based on real events, and that wants itself to be accurate). It’s something that you can so clearly see in each and every episode of the show, and while watching it, I remember thinking how disgusting it was that this almost 60 years old man was just forcing his perversion into a representation of literal victims of incestuous s*xual abuse. And I genuinely cannot express how sick to my stomach it makes me.

Furthermore, I think that it is also very clear whose side Ryan Murphy seems to be on, and in my opinion and based on the way he decided to portray the brothers, I think that he clearly thinks that the boys are liar. Which okay, he is of course entitled to his opinion on the matter, even if I (along with a lot people) strongly disagree with it. The problem is that he should not bring his opinion into the show and make his opinion seem like the real and factual events.

On that same note, I’m sure most of you are aware, but Erik released a statement through his wife about the show, I’ll put it below :

And I’m so glad he spoke up and said how much fake things, inaccurate portrayals and misinformation this show was spreading. Unfortunately, Ryan Murphy responded to this statement, in the worst manner possible, here is his response below :

I find it absolutely insane to tell people, whose life you tried to recreate on screen, that you did an amazing job at it while these persons themselves tell you that you failed to put in light the truth that they spent their whole lives trying to be heard.

In conclusion on this whole part about Ryan Murphy, I was just really disappointed in the way that he produced and realised the whole show as well as the way he handled the aftermath of its release, this man even had the audacity to say that he had no interest in talking to the brothers so that tells us everything that we need to know about him. And I think that he should just stick to fiction and stop trying to film true crime shows if he’s gonna ignore the facts and just build the show on his opinion instead.

II. THE PORTRAYAL OF THE BROTHERS

The issue with the portrayals of the brothers is obviously directly linked to Ryan Murphy but I wanted to dedicate a part about it and not it be a sub part to the RM problem.

When I was watching the show, the first thing that struck me was the portrayal of Lyle. I was familiar with the Menendez case way before the show because, like a lot of people, I had watched the trials on YouTube. And while I cannot claim to know what Lyle is like, and none of us can, because we don’t know him, I was still quite shocked to see the way they made him act on the show. I guess that this arrogant, angry, violent and spoiled rich kid act just wasn’t what I was expecting, along with a lot of people. And we were right to find this representation to be odd because Erik, himself, talked about how inaccurate and defamatory this representation of Lyle was in his statement that you can read above in the Ryan Murphy problem.

So there's already that. And then, the worst part in my opinion, is the way that Lyle and Erik were, first of all, highly s*xualized and also represented as if they were in some kind of incestuous relationship with each other. If we focus for a second on the s*xualization of the brothers, the first example that comes to my mind is the shower scene with Erik in prison. What purpose does that scene serve in the telling of Erik and Lyle's story? I cannot help but think that this is just another manifestation of Ryan Murphy's perverted mind. On that same note (I'm gonna try and explain this next part as best as I can) but I think we all know now that RM has a tendency to cast attractive actors for these type of roles (ex: Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer) to later s*xualize them non stop. And words are failing me to express how wrong that is, because in Dahmer's case he was literally s*xualizing a serial killer, and in the Menendez' case, victims of incestuous s*xual abuse. Again I fail to understand how this man doesn't see any wrong in that.

Now, about the representation of the brothers' relationship. As I was watching the show, I remember noticing all these little things that were insinuating that something romantic was going on between them, again I cannot express how uncomfortable it made me, I can only assume that it was the case for everyone else watching. And again, I cannot find the words to say how disgusting and sick this is. Because here is the thing, so we know that Erik was m*lested by Lyle, because Lyle was himself being abused by José Menendez, he was child and he didn't know any better than to try and recreate what he though was an act of love. BUT knowing that and willingly deciding to subtly portray these brothers as if they were in a consensual incestuous relationship is digusting and sickening.

And I want to clarify that this critic of their portrayal is aimed at Ryan Murphy and in no way at the actors, I will be talking about the actors' work in the second part, in another post.

Alright guys that's it for the first part of my opinion on "Monsters", I hope that maybe some of the points I addressed will help you see the show in another light if you didn't share my point of view. And if my post didn't convince you of anything and if you disagree with me on certain point, please leave a comment so we can discuss it :)

The second part will be focusing on the portrayal of José and Kitty Menendez as well as the work of the actors.

See you in the next post!

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

No for real, it kinda pisses me off that people saw Eddie, Mr. I Can Help You With My Swedish Side and I Will Punch You Out if You Shit Talk My Son, and were like “oh he’s gonna be Gerard’s crony” and “he’s gonna betray the 118 and side with Gerard” but the moment Buck is shown with Gerard it’s “oh Buck would never do that” and “he must be plotting something to take Gerard down”

Like, 1) Eddie loves the 118 just as much as Buck (( remember this is the family we chose scene )) 2) he’s a Mexican man. Do you think he wouldn’t be a target for Gerard?

I love Buck but the woobfication of him where he can never do wrong drives me fucking insane, especially bc I think a lot of queer white people come from a place of privilege where they don’t acknowledge that racism and misogyny are v much still a huge problem in this world and that homophobia is not the only form of bigotry that impacts people

No matter how much people may try and think Eddie can just hide the fact that he's Mexican, he can't. There's no way Gerrard will be wanting Eddie to be on his side once he hears Eddie's last name. And you can't make me think that Eddie, even with all he's going through right now, would ever want to side with Gerrard.

And before anyone comes at me with "Oh, Ryan said Eddie would keep his head down", there's a difference between keeping your head down and actively participating in bigotry, which is what some fans have speculated Eddie would do. Also, in that same interview, Ryan said Eddie could also punch Gerrard. But somehow, that's not being talked about nearly as enough as the keeping his head down comment.

Also, I'm sorry to say this, but it is more likely that Buck would side with Gerrard than it is that Eddie would.

No, I'm not saying that either of them would side with Gerrard, but that if anyone would, Buck would be more likely to do it. Because unlike the rest of the current 118, he's a cis white man who very few people know is bisexual. There's no true guarantee that Gerrard would target him for his bisexuality because it's something he can hide, which is not the case for anyone else on the team.

When it comes to these fans who say these things, it is their own biases that are saying they can't see Buck siding with Gerrard. Buck is a white man and there's so many years and years of other white people propping themselves up to be morally superior, that they can't do anything wrong. We're seeing these fans essentially spew this same line of thinking when it comes to Buck (and Tommy, let's be real) and it is a real problem in this fandom.

And no, you're not a monster for believing in the racist rhetoric that has been hammered into your brain since you were children. But you first have to acknowledge that it is your biases that make you see what you're seeing before you can go about unlearning those biases.

[buddiebeginz]

it's funny because aside from the crazies the normal BT fans don't like the scene because it's confirming this relationship is very much just extremely casual and about just sex. this situationship is gonna end in s8 for sure. oliver knows this as well which is why he doeosn't touch this shit wiht a ten foot pole also the way they harass him and ryan in his dm's and attack ryan and they're shocked oliver blocks their asses when they attack one of his best friends whom btw both oliver and ryan are already captains of a ship which pisses them off i'm sure.

I honestly can't wait to see that nothing of a ship go down in flames. That fandom has been insufferable to deal with and not just for the Buddie fandom but like you pointed out some of them have harassed Oliver and Ryan and even journalists. They've also spammed the 911 accounts with B*mmy comments and they message Tim all the time.

I have no problem with people who ship something different than me but I really can't wait for T*mmy to be gone because ever since that ship became a thing the entire 911 fandom has been worse off.

I blame Lou and his cameos for some of this though because if he hadn't been feeding into their delusions and giving them attention some of the more zealous ones might not have gotten as out of hand as they have. I also think without the cameos those fans might have had a more realistic picture of where things were headed. Instead some of them firmly believe that s7 was setting up T*mmy to be Buck's endgame love interest.

I get being hopeful and rooting for your ship but they completely ignore what's actually being shown on screen while somehow also acting like canon is the only thing that matters. Make it make sense. 🤦‍♀️Like they attack people simply for celebrating Eddie as a queer character because they haven't said he's queer on the show so that's not allowed. Nevermind the fact that no one said Buck was queer before season 7 but he still is and has been. They call us delusional for still shipping Buddie and wanting to see them together yet Buddie had way more screen time than B/T. And what screen time they did have was also some of the most important Eddie and Buck had all season. Their relationship came out of s7 deeper than it has ever been.

Mostly I just hope that they're not going to attack Oliver and Ryan when that ship inevitably ends. Because Buddie or no Buddie I 100% don't see B*mmy lasting beyond s8. I know they'll blame us but I don't want to see Oliver disappear from social media when a portion of them get smacked in the face with the reality that this was never meant to be a long term ship. I wish they'd realize this is why he's not promoting that ship. He knows to some degree where this storyline is heading and he doesn't want to get peoples hopes up.

[sehtoast]

The Sun Will Come Up

grief, hurt/comfort, ben (spidersona oc) consoling ryan, ben and homelander coparenting | Fic Directory

“I don't know!”

The boy's cry comes out in a squeak, the sob suppressed tight in his throat as if letting it go would destroy the rest of the world. 

“I don't– I'm–”

Ben sits beside him atop their choice of skyscraper. The outing was supposed to help Ryan, and he supposes it has, in a way. He's finally letting it out. All the anger and rage smothered by the weight of his grief. 

The loss of his mother. The responsibility he feels for both her death and the disfigurement of Stormfront. The former was so easily understandable, but Ben supposes only the heart of a child could hold sympathy for the latter. 

Not to mention the pain of it all thrown back in his face by Butcher. 

Ben's so incredibly thankful John found him. 

All of his pain and fury comes out in screams and balled fists that leave cracks in the concrete of the roof with each and every slam. 

Ben reaches out to pat and rub circles against Ryan's upper back, silently consoling the boy as he weeps. The sound of tears sizzling in the heat of his crimson eyes reminds Benjamin so very much of the boy's father. 

“It's m-my f-fault! Dad says it's not, b-but!” Ryan pushes through heaving breaths. “But I killed my mom! I hurt her!” 

The bug doesn't quite know how to help. No amount of telling him that it was okay, or that he somehow wasn't really responsible, would do anything more than fan the flame and make the boy eventually bury it all under layers of deniability like so many other supes. 

“I hate my powers! I never asked for ‘em!”

I didn't know it would happen! 

I couldn't control my powers! 

I couldn't stop it! 

Lines heard again and again. 

Flashes of John in the labs course through Ben's mind. Grainy images of blood splattered walls and a boy too young to understand why. 

Why? 

Ryan lurches forward with every full-body sob, eventually throwing himself at Ben to be held safe from the cruelty of the world, his grip round the web-head's abdomen damn near punishing. 

“I–” he heaves, gasping for air. Diaphragm must be spasming “W-what do I do!?” 

A marvelous question, and not one easily answered. What does he do? 

“Well…” Ben murmurs, keeping up with those comforting circular motions against the boy's back. He can feel each quiet sob, suppressed or not. The quiver of his breaths. The gaps between them when Ryan holds tight to stale oxygen. “You gotta do the hard part first, bud.”

Which was never what anyone wanted to hear. 

“You have to forgive yourself.” 

“I can't, I–” 

“I know. But listen to me.” Ben leans back, resting a hand on the boy's head to ruffle his hair. “You did it. You did. And you gotta take responsibility for it no matter what, okay?” He hates the way the boy's eyes well up at his words, but this needs to be said. “We make it up to the people we hurt by doing better for the rest.” 

Ryan stares quietly, but the tears continue rolling. 

“We gotta do better. We learn to control our powers to protect people.” Ben continues. He'll be damned if this boy learns the all too common lesson Vought teaches all of their supes. Non-super humans aren't expendable; they're not a means to an end nor toys for supes to break. “Your mom loved you, buddy. Loves you, I mean. Her love doesn't stop just ‘cuz she's not around anymore. You keep it in here,” he taps over his own heart. “You were her sunshine, and now…” Ben swallows against the lump in his throat. “Now you gotta decide if you're gonna be the sun in a different way, y'know?”

Ryan nods. “I think so…” 

“You're not a bad person. You're little, and the world is very big and, honestly, pretty terrible.” A fact the boy has already learned the hard way. “But there's good things, too. Like how your dad and I love you. We've got your back every step of the way. Promise.” 

The sudden shuffle of footsteps approaching spooks both of them, but the voice that follows is unmistakable. 

“He's right.” Utters the new arrival, swishing his cape to the side before descending to sit on Ryan's other side. Homelander's eyes are rimmed red, but the untrained eye might simply think they're wind bitten from his flight to join them.

Ben knows better. 

“You've always got us in your corner.” 

Homelander shoots the bug a worried look when all that comes is more tears, but Benjamin only nods to him.  Neither one is particularly cut from the cloth of parental instinct, but something tells him Ryan just needs to be allowed to feel it.  No words, no excuses.

The pair sit with him until the sun sets below the horizon. Until he cries himself out and falls asleep between them with his father's cape draped over his shoulders. 

The sun will set countless times in his life, but it will be up to him to choose the dawn. All they can do is hope it'll be as bright as he deserves. 

[outrunningthedark]

Your last post reminds me of that saying, “hurt people hurt people”. Because they are definitely hurt he said no to the gay storyline. And they have to take it out on someone…. Enter Tommy/Lou and the Bucktommy storyline

Mhmm, this is a great way of putting it. They know better than to go directly to the source because they don't want to be One Of Those Fans (especially not when many of them have a hard time discussing when their fave does stuff they don't like irl), so the closest available "target" it is - and that's us 🥱 It literally does not matter how far the Queer Eddie arc got before it "fell through". Ryan's own words have said enough. He is in agreement that now is not the right time to have Eddie explore his sexuality, and if you're going to believe him when he says "whatever happens, happens" (let me finish!), you should also be believing him when he explains why he's fine with giving the story line to Buck and playing the straight best friend: "But I think the truth of it — and what I would like to see more in the world — is that men lean on each other in their vulnerable moments, and it's not considered anything other than just sharing some vulnerability and needing some companionship and help. With the state of men's mental health nowadays, we need more of that. So I really love the fact that Buck is there for Eddie at the drop of a dime and vice versa." "Since there's so much talk about our characters, it wasn't a shock to me. For Buck's character, I feel like it kind of tracks. And I think that we trust Tim [Minear], to be honest. He's such a great, incredible writer, and he's very inclusive in his writing. And it shows beyond the sexuality, beyond representation. It shows humanity, and that's what I love about these characters. You can do whatever you want in the bedroom, but at the end of the day, that love remains, brother-sister, intimate relationship, whatever that kind of connection is." “All I wanted to do in that moment—for me, as Ryan—was make my friend feel safe, make my friend know that he can trust me and that it’s nothing but love.   It doesn’t change anything, even if he gives me some information that comes out of left field, and my reaction might not be the best. It was very natural, just from pulling from my own experience.” 

"I think there’s still an air out there in the world that your sexuality preference determines if you’re weak or not, or determines if you’re capable or not, of being just a good human being, which is such a crazy thing to think about. I love that we get to dispel that ideology and we get to showcase and reflect to the world that your sexual preference has no meaning in friendships and connection. Accept people for who they are, love people for who they are, and let’s keep it pushing. Let’s have fun. Let’s have a great time.” “The truth of the matter is right now that we need to live in this space and showcase this so the world can see that this is how you handle this situation.” (People are getting mad about something that was never seriously gonna happen this season according to that man^ right there. That's the sad part.)

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/755647949462274048/i-think-parts-of-that-fandom-are-kind-of-in-a

So this is a post from a blog that’s part of the BT fandom but with the twist (how sad this is considered a twist these days 😭) that the blog owner the anon popped the post from understands Tommy’s role as a plot device for Buddie and as such never allowed Lou’s cameos to influence their view of things which has obviously ruffled some of the more dedicated bt shippers feathers. But it’s just such a well balanced and logically thought out response.

And then this was a follow up they had to that lovely think piece above

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/755657295451521024/i-would-like-to-thank-the-official-911

Which again, well thought out and logical. And extremely true of the situation.

Clickable link to the posts here and here.

Those posts are very well written. I think the hype surrounding the excitement that Buck is bi has died down and numbers are stopping being inflated because the people who were on the fence seem to be back leaning towards buddie. Which was bound to happen anyway, buddie is the relationship that's being set up for a while and they didn't really try with Tommy, so it's hard to keep going to war for him if you stop to think about it, settling for rep for the sake of rep with buddie is right there and ready is hard to justify when they keep making T look worse. I know the scene technically doesn't count as canon, but it is another way to show they are writing T in a very dismissive way, we all know that now having Hen's approval is a bad sign. I think Lou was told to stop the cameos, but I go back and forth on whether I think it was his own team telling him to shut it once things started to get out of control or if it was the 911 team once they realized he had created an actual problem to their marketing because he was literally selling a story that doesn't align with what the show is doing. Things really got out of control because it all led to the way a portion of the fandom is treating Oliver because he's not feeding into what they want. Like the op said, obviously, if it comes down to it Oliver and Ryan get a say, Lou is not even invited to the conversation. Lou was very clearly brought in to make one half of buddie queer so that buddie could get with each other. It has always been about Buck's identity not the relationship, so whatever makes Oliver more comfortable is what goes. Enjoying the relationship for what it is is fine. But the level things reached is not it. It got to a point where they're ignoring Buck and Buck is the only thing that matters in that ship, he's the one the general audience loves, he's the one the creators care about. And the fact that they got fed this narrative by Lou really pushed Buck to the background. This is not what anyone wants. And we're finally seeing that in action, because we're organically making enough noise to drown them out, and we will continue to show the production that we are still in it waiting for buddie and that's what was always gonna happen because we've been in it for years and no one showed me a reason to believe Buck and Eddie aren't meant to be. On the contrary, they made a season that made it seem they are going canon eventually.

[craziestfangirl98]

My thoughts on The Trainee Ep 10.

(I watched it last week but then my mom was here so wasn't able to update the thoughts. Gonna do this now, please forgive me if there are overlaps to the new episode or any of the old once. It's not as fresh in my head.)

Jane picking up and dropping Ryan off, not overstepping to 'announce' necessarily his courtship. Realising it is just the two of theirs until they decide to address is something very personal to me. The whole moment was very precious and I loved it. The uncertainty on both their ends. It was so palpable and beautiful and soft.

Tae being heartbroken and barely being able to function, after such a long relationship, probably the only real and meaningful relationship is so profound because how is he to do anything when his heart is shattered and he is barely holding on. I like that. I also love that, after the previous (?) week and getting reassurance from P' Jo, that he matters in the workplace, Pah has become the glue and in a way the one who knows everyone and brings departments together, especially if it is to help is heartbroken Bestie. That being said, I unfortunately do not particularly like the rest of the art department pushing Tae to fight for her. I would have liked it if he came to that decision by himself.

Bamhee and P' Judy seem to be navigating the delicate balance of being intern-mentor and being interested in each other doesn't look much different from the beginning weeks (case in point the massage, it's a lot of casual leaning and touching and I don't know what to think of it.)

Pai continuing to get Ryan's crush wrong with so much of conviction is hilarious to me and makes me curious to see how it comes out in the open, so to speak.

BOYS! You want to flirt, I get it, but maybe don't leave the evidence right there? Are you insane?!!!!?!?!!? Do you have no regard for my mental peace? That being said you are so cute and I would happily turn a blind eye to those papers. Also, Ryan as someone who works in a printer shop I thought you of all people would be against it but sure.

NOOOOO PAI DON'T USE THOSE PAPERS! DON'T SEE BEHIND THEM! I DIDN'T MEAN TO JINX IT. Is this how you are going to find out about them?!

I like that Bamhee is slowly becoming more and more keen towards her work. It's nice to see her focus on work instead of a person, specifically someone she is romantically involved with.

Ohhh shit. Judy is making the decisions. That's not all good. She is paying attention but in the wrong way. Bamhee has to tell her, she had plans from earlier, if she wants to be heard.

I liked Bamhee and Pai's conversation. One, because it's good to see their friendship continue and blossom. It's very wholesome and heartwarming.

Second, because I like that they are addressing Bamhee's feelings towards Tae as well as Judy. She is uncertain of where she stands and for someone who is just starting out in their queer(bi/pan?) journey it is nice to see that acknowledgement. Also, not being mean but I like that she realises that sometimes that much attention from one single person can be overwhelming to deal with.

Nice call back to Ryan and Jane blocking the scene in the van in one of the earlier episodes. I love how they end up blocking, was it again Jane's choice to ask for Ryan?

Same question I have Jane, How has Ryan survived so far?

How am I just realising that Acts of Service is a big part of Jane's show of love and affection? Jane just casually roasting his peers (validly) to show Ryan that sometimes there is nothing special about the adults is at the same time so important and hilarious to me.

Pai falling shouldn't be so hilarious. Why am I laughing! The timing of it coinciding with Jane's monologue, the fact that the papers have incriminating evidence of a secret 'to-be-relationship', the fact that all the interns are just so clumsy and chaotic, the fact that she couldn't open the water bottle and just gave up on drinking water (honestly full relate Pai) everything is pure comedic genius. Even more than the P' Baimon as crush + Windows error tone.

Also... Jane, I love you. But who are you calling losers, when your secret is laying out in the open for anyone to see and with only you and Ryan to save yourself. 😭😭😭 Good to know at least you can laugh at it. Hopefully you've disposed off the evidence.

Ohhh it's the grand romantic gesture. I get that your heart is in the right places Tae. I hope it works out for you.

Ooooh you are never to touch personal pillows! I think Judy can be a great mentor to Bamhee, don't know about the romantic interest (which is I think what the narrative is going for as well. In my opinion at least.)

The entire team conspiring to get Bamhee to Tae would've freaked me out if it was me. (What is interesting is, even the mean colleagues from earlier episodes are happily a part of Pah's team, make of it what you will.)

Say what you will, it is quite pretty and both of them look super cute.

I am glad Tae told her about the anniversary, instead of choosing to suffer in silence. Especially considering how much effort went into it, how much he overworked himself. Because if she didn't get to know about it, there's a possibility of resentment later on which is not good.

(ohhhh it's from The Terminal! I love the movie. Catherine Zeta Jones was sooo beautiful in that. I love her.)

Go Bamhee! She knows now what she wants and what she needs. She knows how she needs it rectified. She doesn't need these big gestures (exclusively) she more so wants love on a more everyday basis and I think it's so good to see her acknowledge it and speak about it instead of keeping all the times she was hurt by his silence because it felt like a dismissal. I'm proud of them both. I needed this conversation with them if it was to go in this direction.

I also liked that Bamhee had a conversation with P'Judy as well instead of just ghosting or just becoming non-committal about it. Shows she has matured. Also will not come at the cost of her internship. I like Bamhee's realisations, they feel honest to the trajectory and narrative arc. For the first time I feel like I'm seeing an emotion in P' Judy's eyes which as mean as it sounds, finally shows it meant enough to her as well.

Awwww... Everyone is so happy for them and honestly, me too. They've understood where each of them went wrong, I would've liked Bamhee to honestly address the kiss as well but except for that I have no complains honestly.

I love him Jane is constantly aware of Ryan and the things surrounding him. Case in point the print shop = production house comment. I'm sure it made him feel seen. I also like that this show keeps reiterating that you don't need to have lofty dreams and careers to be a successful functioning human being, just as long as you are authentic and kind. As someone who is really struggling with the whole career bit, I would've liked if someone could tell me this irl.

I hope the whole story about Jane's directorial route comes out before the series ends. I want to know him more, especially considering his (slimy) ex could be the trashy intern.

Oh hey! Ryan the namesake search is back! I missed it. I like that Ryan is slowly becoming more sure about himself. I also like that Jane is fully smitten and can't seem to take his eyes off of him.

You're right Ryan. He is very cool.

I think we all know what or who he was thinking about when getting the photo taken.

I like the message tidbits everytime. I especially like to see the hesitation in the messaging.

See you back for the next episode thoughts. Would love to hear more from you all as well so feel free to pop in!

[lemonhemlock]

It's so hilarious that some people desperately want Aegon to be Daemon's parallel and foil despite it's doesn't make any sense in terms of characterization , narrative and in terms of themes as well. Just because you know they happen to like Aemond and don't want him to be associated with daemon in any possible way. Despite the fact that Aemond was literally created in the first place to be Daemon's foil and therefore Aemond's whole characterization, his arc and even his death all of it have been made in the way they are in the book based on this simple fact , that Aemond (and none else beside him) is Daemon's foil. Aemond will never be Jon snow or jaime lannister type of a character no matter of how many times the showrunners try to whitewash him . His arc will still be the same despite everything else. That's fine to like Aemond and appreciate him for the villain he is without trying to make him this pure good-hearted person because none in the dance of dragons are . And Rhaenyra is the Matilda of this story and Aegon ii is Stephen ii , so yes Rhaenyra's true foil and parallel is her little brother who was the person who took the throne away from her and ended up killing her like Daemon ended up killing his foil. The only reason why this corny dialogue exited in the first place "tis i who studied the blade and philosophy" is because ryan got a boner for Aemond of all the other characters, while calling Alicent a woman for trump at the same time when she was a charismatic political shrewd and strong woman in the book (mix of margary and Cersei) this is woke misogyny at it's finest

I agree with Daemon/Aemond being foils and Rhaenyra/Aegon being foils, highlighted by the fact that they die by the hand of their narrative counterparts.

That being said, I'm not gonna lie to you, I really love and much prefer what they did to Aemond in the show. It proves that they can take what was basically an anime villain and properly build him up and humanize him. Generally speaking, I much prefer it when characters receive the multi-layered treatment, because it's better for the story overall to have complex characters than one-note NPCs. So I don't take issue with show!Aemond and wouldn't change him. And, yes, that goes even for team black - I don't have a problem with Rhaenyra being more sympathetic as I have with the unbalanced way the factions are presented.

But I must wonder, from a story telling perspective, when they all sat down thinking how to adapt FB into HOTD, how did they look at the text and decide that Aegon is the awful one (taking Mushroom at his word), whereas Aemond is the one who should undergo a rehabilitation?

Because, at the same time, you have this weird situation where Olivia doesn't know how to apologise more for Alicent in interviews and makes concession after concession to Rhaenyra-sympathizers, like how clearly Alicent is in the wrong to prioritize her own son's ascension over Rhaenyra's (?) or how her two sons are terrible people and she just ends up upholding the patriarchy for her male children.

But, then again, how is Aemond so terrible judging by the way he has been written so far? He hasn't done anything other than do his homework and brood. I find it very hard to believe that Olivia looked at Aemond's characterization in S1 alone and came to that conclusion, so IMO it's more possible someone briefed her to say that. But whether it was Miguel Sapochnik's idea to push for this narrative of terrible Aemond (though he directed the Driftmark episode) or it was Ryan Condal's idea, I cannot say, but something is happening, because they are not on the same page.

Someone in the creative team must really like Alicent to push for her humanization, but someone else must really have it out for her, hence this inconsistent messaging and the flip-floping in her motivations from episode to episode. And it's funny because, by targeting Alicent's capabilities as a mother, they also end up damaging Aemond's pristine reputation. So, which is it? Is Alicent a bad mother and Aemond a psychopath (although you took great pains on screen to show him differently) or is Aegon just an outlier and she has 3/4 lovely children who are just doomed to be irreversibly changed by massive trauma?

It's extra strange because Aemond's characterization is very straightforward and consistent, he doesn't flip-flop in his motivations and desires, so the writers must have decided on a clear thread with him and are seeing it through. Whereas for Alicent, they tell Olivia that both her sons are awful (?) and that she deep down thinks Rhaenyra would make a better monarch than her children.

I know there is a possibility that, when she was making those statements, Olivia was just influenced by the character work she is doing for S2, in which Aemond's character will get darker post-Storm's End. But she was still referring to Alicent in The Green Council, when she's actively making preparations to crown Aegon at Rhaenyra's "expense". Before Aemond has had any opportunity to go berserk. There have been way too many instances in which the people involved in the show, whether they be actors, writers or producers (or even GRRM with Daeron) came out and publicly said one thing, while the actual media text doesn't hold that up at all.

[berryunho]

Not you and Bee updating your fics the same day when just yesterday I was going through both fics again because I missed them dearly. You people are gonna kill me, the adrenaline that shot through me hit so hard when I saw The Answer and Wonderwall had updated that I almost spooked myself and fell from my bed.

Anyways HELLO! Good to see you again <3

Hope you're having a good 2024 so far.

Here we go on another one of my unnecessarily long ass comments about the fic, sure hope I haven't overstayed my welcome with them just yet lmao (let me know if I do end up overdoing it at some point please, I will gladly tone it down if it becomes a problem).

FIRST OF ALL: I THINK I'M GOING INSANE.

Maybe its the hj brainrot that I've been stuck on for the last few months, maybe it's the fact that the ateez hyperfixation is hitting harder than usual since the comeback but him throwing a tantrum yelling "you will not take her from me"? Butterflies. Got me giggling and kicking my feet. I was rolling around on my bed as I read that.

Maybe it's the absence making the heart grow fonder and all that.

That being said, my misplaced fondness for this clown did die down once he hit us with the whole "she should be begging me for her life", if the cult thing wasn't enough of an ick I guess that did the job. Like, sir you had me for a sec there with the possessiveness (*tucks my hair like debbie ryan*) why did you have to remind me of your actual personality?

But yeah, catch me slowly being dragged down against my will to join the TheAnswer!HJ simps, though I guess that's what's gonna happen to mc soon enough too, I really am along for the ride with her. Me and mc peering down the edge into the abyss where they lay, the abyss stares right back at us. Damn. People are right, we are not immune to cult propaganda. Tragic.

I really wanted to point out that this chapter had me extra paranoid than the last one tbh, you mentioned in the notes that this was shorter and that you felt like it was lackluster, but I seriously didn't feel it at all because of how on edge I was at times, not as much as let's say during her escape attempt in the corn field sure, but I was still wary and uneasy while reading. I know we had the whole circus with the Guardian thing last time, but san being so urgent in his claims that they have to leave and us getting to hear about how pissed off hj got because of mc's "unsatisfying" reaction to his little scheme? I am dead serious when I tell you I was bracing for the absolute worst, got me shaking in my little tinfoil hat.

The part about the machine harvesting the field? With mc saying she wouldn't want to be caught in it? (ALSO I SEE THAT SHORT YEOSANG MOMENT, I SEE YOU LEAVING A TRAIL OF BREAD CRUMBS FOR HIM 👁👁 <- EYES THAT SEE)

My 2 braincells immediately went "oh em gee, foreshadowing?", like I am certain to my core that someone's gonna fucking die to that or be horrifically injured, its just a matter of: whom? 🤨 I'm gonna save my guess as to who it could be in case that does happen, but I will come back here to yell on another ask about it if that comes up in the future.

Then the scene with hj and hwa talking to mc about her questions, and she hits them with the "oh what can I do if I'm alone?" and hwa is desperately trying to get her to stfu (me too man, me too) while hj smiles at her. You know, like a cryptic weirdo.

Now, I am more than willing to say that what came to mind for me in that moment was probably due to my very *rational* fear of TheAnswer!HJ, but ignore the fact that I am losing myself to his mind games and hear me out for a bit: I kid you not, for a second, I legit thought that he may suggest to or even outright attempt to like "mark" mc with the Sign.

In what way? I don't fucking know but there are many options and he is twisted enough to think of that, we all know it and the sirens were blaring in my head about that when he said the Sign would protect her as long as she had it in her, like "mc girl, I dread to say this but I feel like we should trust mr lapdog on this one, I fear you may be poking the modern day moses a bit too much and we all know he is having a diva moment today", because for hwa to be so concerned over it while hj reacts somewhat positively? Yeah, something wicked this way comes. And on that note, it seemed to me that hwa wasn't just trying to get her to steer from upsetting hj, he seems like he was trying to keep the peace between them in more ways than just that (more on that in a separate ask cause I feel like this is getting too long and its probably a pain for people to scroll past it LMAO I'M SO SORRY).

You clarified for me last time that mc will find out eventually about what happened to her bff (thank you by the way <33) and given how much it was brought up this chapter, I do think he is gonna wait out a while to use the haseul card (haseul girl you will always be remembered as the ride or die friend that you were, more on the die side but it's not your fault girlie, we love you), because while he is clearly prone to emotional outbursts, he is also smart as hell and just as cruel, we are yet to see him mess up big time just out of losing his cool (or maybe the consequences just haven't quite caught up to him just yet but I'd argue he is still ahead in that case), so I imagine that the threat of doing it is very much real but he will play it right for his own advantage.

The man is a diva but he is a cunning one, he more so seems to bring it up because he knows that the idea of devastating mc in that way is a threat in and of itself to everyone else that is also vying for her attention, which is 100/10 writing, author you are amazing (if the way that the fic is eating away at my brain wasn't clear indication of that).

I am also once again proud of our mc for *once again* poking holes in his little bible lore, yes bestie you are correct, wtf does it mean for a Guardian to kidnap someone? A question that I personally had when I read his explanation is: if the Guardians can kidnap people across dimensions then why tf can't the cult members or him, the big powerful prophet himself, also do something like that? Wouldn't that be way more helpful than sending uber eats across dimensions to the Others through sacrifices?? He says they need mc to do that but the Guardians have no issue going "yoink :3" over to our dimension to spirit away his followers and at the same time he also wants us to believe that the same Guardians are afraid of him? Sir. Pick a side, you can't have it both ways. Either they are clearly stronger than you and that's why we are all struggling with mc being a non believer or you are the op big shot of this religion whom everyone grovels under, make it make sense ! !

(Also this isn't me trying to point plot holes in your story pls lol I don't think his religion's lack of consistency is a reflection of your writing ever, in fact I think it's really cool cause it adds to the mystery of it all along with making us question him even more, I just have a lot of fun dissecting the snippets of it we do get out of spite for him lmao).

I have some more things I wanted to add but I'll throw them into another ask cause, again, I feel like this is already gonna be annoying to scroll past lmao, so sorry for anyone seeing this, apologies everyone.

But these were my general takes on the chapter, I really enjoyed it as always so thanks for another update Lauren <333 wish you well!!

- 👁👁

LKSJLFKJASDF OMG HI!!!! <33333

First of all let me just say that you will never annoy me w these comments like this is seriously my dream feedback i could cry honestly im so touched that you care so much to type all of this out and that you clearly spend so much time thinking about the answer and really appreciating it and like. YEAH ILY SM DO NOT WORRY !!!!! 

Fun fact about bee and me updating at the same time . we didnt plan it this time . it was in fact random . but there was a time in like… i wanna say december 2022 when bee was writing claire de lune and her and caly and i all conspired to update on the same day and im pretty sure we did and i cant even imagine what it wouldve been like to be a claire de lune/mists of celeste/the answer reader on that day LMFAO

ANYWAYS INTO THE MEAT AAAAAAAAAAA pls these reactions to hj are so real like sometimes ill write something a little bit too … cute ? and then ive gotta reel it back real quick we gotta remember who we’re talking about we gotta stay strong even if he is hot and obsessed 

TY for saying you felt that the chapter was still interesting hehe i guess i felt like people would be expecting a lot from this chapter and i knew it wasnt going to be What Was Expected or like that it wasnt going to go right into the escape attempt like i think some people probably thought SO im glad that the chapter was still … paranoia inducing LMFAO 

No fun fact idk if this is like obvious or not but my grandparents are/were corn farmers so like. Obvs i have spent a lot of time on a corn field. Planting harvesting running around etc. and i was always so freaked out by combine machines theyre literally fucking ENORMOUS like easily 15 feet tall but the good news is they go like. 10mph. But i still wouldnt want to find myself in the path of one AHAHAH !!!!!! ANYWAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

eheheheeh yeah the whole scene w the unholy trinity really …. Ooooooo was it fun to write hehe yes the whole situation w haseul is really a big opportunity for hj to keep manipulating mc and something for him to hold over her head and i hope the dramatic irony is coming through w the fact that we obvs know she’s dead but mc has no idea bc i lovvveeeeeee that tension in a story like just waiting and waiting and waiting for mc to find out … ehehe and i like how you point out that hj hasnt really messed up big time or lost his cool bc youre … right … but he’s almost almost getting there and i just love him being unhinged and ………… yeah ill be quiet now heh

UBER EATS SACRIFICES ACROSS DIMENSIONS SENT MEEEEEE LAKDJFL;ASKJDFL;KJA;DFKJ youre so real for these questions and like yes this is exactly the type of thing i want you to be thinking … hehehe keep yourself in mc’s shoes yk … i def get that you’re not trying to point out plot holes hehe dw dw thank you for your compliments hehe

I WILL ANSWER YOUR SECOND ASK NEXT !!! TYSM AGAIN I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH MWAH i hope you are WELL !!! <3333

[sharonisthebettercarter]

If Homelander was so smart he himself and fans claim him to be, especially believing Supers are superior to average humans, Why Becca a lesser, weaker human? He should be smart enough at the time to realize mere mortals break easily and don't last very long. If he wanted a heir (I mean, he's gonna start liking the idea of having a legacy, a respectable lineage), he would've done it with supe women only, since they don't break that easily and last longer. If he's that impatient and desperate to have a superior offspring, I think it's safe to assume he's gonna start forcing himself on them repeatedly at this point because at least that said heir will ensure he's respected and more perfect than Ryan, since that offspring won't be half mere-mortal and a full-blooded supe. Then again, it's possible he'll be too tired to continue trying regardless, and force Ryan and the supe wife shitlander chooses for him bear him grandchildren, when they're sexually mature.

ew... anon what the fuck. ya really had to go and ask this question, didn't you...

ugh, ick, okay fine, i'll answer it, but what the fuck, and uh... what the fuck

it's because homelander didn't *care* about having an *heir* when he assaulted becca. he didn't even know he *could* have one so that's not why he did it.

on a side note and please for the love of fuck do not actually answer this because i'm only asking so you take a moment to consider what you just proposed

but why do you think a rapist would rape to 'procure an heir' anyhow??? maybe if they're in a relationship with the victim, but if it's a random stranger that gets convicted, it's a 5% chance they succeed and they're not gonna get rights to a kid born from that. pregnancy isn't as much a simple 'one and done' thing or as easy as people seem to think it is to get there. (a healthy couple that is legit trying has a 30% chance to succeed in the first month)

there are a number of reasons rapists will rape.

if we asked homelander specifically why he assaulted becca, his very bullshit answer could be as simple as 'she smelled nice' or 'she was pretty' or 'her husband insulted me' or 'why not' or 'because it was a fucking tuesday'

because even tho the correct answer is 'i'm a fuckhead who wanted to hurt someone', the reality is that in his head, he is a 'god' and he can do whatever the fuck he wants, so if the mood struck him, WHY THE FUCK NOT (ew, hate framing it this way but...)

this is the reality of that situation.

something something about that quote that ends with 'but for me it was tuesday', occam's razor.

homelander didn't give enough shits to put any thought into what he did nor did he think it would amount to anything, so boredom is your best bet for an explanation there

and this also has next to nothing to do with intelligence, this would be a matter of his own self perception (due to upbringing) and lack of understanding/care for consent (which is an educational issue), but thanks for the whole... eugenics rationale i guess??? (ew why and still what the fuck)

homelander has also stated that he wouldn't force himself on his own kind, more specifically, his exact words to maeve are:

"i respect what you are even if you don't, i would never force myself on you."

before he proceeds to tell her that he will harvest her eggs, so the whole eugenics mindset is there, but only *after* he learns that he *can* in fact have kids (see s1 ep7, the perceived sterility is briefly mentioned in his conversation with vogelbaum)

otherwise, and as gross as this is, i would say that homelander probably has the same if not similar mindset that zeus (greek god) would have... which is not great, but probably the most realistic outlook on this shit.

but again.

WHY?????

[journals4546]

12/10/08

My life is so fucked.  Ryan hates me, I fucked that up to no return.  I need to resolve myself to the fact that I will never see him again, never get to be with him, or hear his voice, unless I want to call his voicemail over & over again, pathetically.

Then Posi Thom had to go & develop feelings for me & ruin everything, so things are fucked there, too.  Not to mention not even Luke want to hang out with me.  I went to see him the other night, & since then he hasn’t talked to me at all.  He was probably thinking, “Wow she got big,” & changed his mind.

And Blond has a girlfriend.  And Fake Plastic Dave has a girlfriend.

Fake Plastic David.  Living, breathing Ken doll, too pretty for his own good, but mustn’t be too aware of it because for some unknown reason he likes me.  I’ve met him  on & off through the past couple of years, but we got to know each other a few weeks ago.  He told me he found me attractive, fun, & smart.  Listing my qualities always did have a nice effect on me, shamefully.

So we flirt through texting.  It’s not horribly mature, but he makes me so nervous in person.  I found myself shy & without any intelligent or cute words when he came over to see me on Sunday.  He messaged me, “What are you up to, darlin?”  He had a few hours before he had to go back to Ames, & he wanted my company.  So I got off work early & rushed home.  He was outside his truck in dead winter, wearing a tight white t-shirt, tight jeans, a scarf around his neck, looking like a freaking model off the runway.  He was also holding a chess board, but we ended up playing Monopoly.  “Snake eyes, spanks for everyone!”  He’s a very strange kid.  He also called me about ten minutes after he left.  We were joking around & he mentioned his girlfriend.  “Oh, is that gonna make things awkward?”  I swallowed my disappointment & surprise, played nonchalant.  “No, why would it?”

“I don’t know, I just think you & I have this great chemistry…”  He began talking about how that might be dangerous towards his relationship, & he was laughing while saying this.  I joked back, told him we’ll just let the sexual tension build up until it explodes, like a bad episode of “Friends.”

I can’t see any reason why he likes me, other than he was high as a kite when we hung out the first time, & I played a sweetheart.  He’s far, far out of my league.  But I won’t help him cheat.  I’m sick of being that girl.

And no matter how pretty Fake Plastic Dave is, I’d still take Blond over him.  I still melt when he gets fascinated by my dimples, & gives me that blinding smile when he tickles my cheeks, his translucent blue eyes bright when they look into mine.  I wish I could have him as a distraction.

I messaged Ryan last night, from deep, deep inside my black pit.  Told him Nich’s pills were in my room & I was scared to be alone.  Told him I knew I’d fucked up his life so badly, & I was so, so sorry.  Asked hm to please call me, please…

No response.  Cried myself to sleep.  It’s becoming the only way I can fall into an unconscious state, sobbing til I lose all my energy & pass out.

Chelsea told me he called her today, looking for me.  Said he talked to Nich.  I’m sure he asked him to keep his pills away from me.  It would explain Nich’s awkward high-fiving me every time I see him.

I told Ryan I didn’t want to be in a life where he hates me so much, & that I didn’t know how to get him to love me again.

Merry Xmas to me.

[thealexchen]

i’ve actually read both of the articles that you mentioned earlier! I could see where both of them were coming from at varying points, though shannon liao’s struck me as a tad harsh, as someone who felt very seen by Alex, particularly with regard to her asian-american identity, and the cultural details and familial attitudes you see displayed throughout the game (especially in episode 5.) I could see why others would like them to be more overt, but they’re still present & relevant as is, imo.

I'm happy you read and enjoyed them! Well, since we’re on the subject, I might as well give my fuller thoughts about all this. This answer got horrendously long, so I'm putting it under a read more. I really wanted to talk about this more fully, so thank you for sending this ask!

I definitely see Robert's point in his article. Alex didn’t need to be Asian for the story of True Colors to be told, but it’s still meaningful that she is so that Asian fans and fans of color can look up to her and feel represented. The Chens buck a lot of stereotypes too: Mrs. Chen was not a “tiger mom” and her kids and husband remember her fondly. Mr. Chen doesn’t push Alex and Gabe to excel in school, and in fact neither Alex nor Gabe went to college, but they still had happy futures. Alex isn’t the best friend or the Asian schoolgirl or the dragon lady or the Asian nerd. But at the same time, when Robert says "Alex never really talks about her thoughts on Chinese culture,” that’s like— well, what’s wrong with talking about it? Why not talk about it more explicitly? The words “Asian” and “Chinese” and “Vietnamese” aren’t even used in the game when "gay" and "lesbian" were, and that's a little disappointing.

I figured people would figure out Alex was at least Chinese because of her last name, but I saw some streamers unsure of what Alex’s ethnicity even was (“Alex is… Chinese, right?”). That was disappointing because Asians tend to be treated as a monolith when we’re so internally diverse. Also, it’s completely possible to miss that Alex and Gabe are also half-Vietnamese. Their mother’s name is Giang “Wendy” Chen, a Vietnamese name, but that’s only in the credits. There’s far less Vietnamese (and Southeast Asian) rep than Chinese, so I wish that had been made more explicit.

In Life is Strange 2, Sean and Daniel’s struggles (personal and institutional) were centered around their identity as half-Mexican boys. True Colors almost seemed to be going in the opposite direction in that Alex’s Asian heritage never really becomes plot-relevant, but Alex and Gabe’s background comes into focus in the last chapter.

Part of Shannon’s critique was that because Alex’s parents aren’t in the picture, the game can’t explore Asian culture through a familial lens. There is some truth to that: for children of immigrants in particular, their parents are their strongest (and sometimes only) link to their race and culture. I thought a big missed opportunity was exploring Alex’s possible sense of isolation and struggle to reconnect with her Asian heritage after being separated from her family.

After growing up with two Asian parents, eating Asian food, celebrating Asian holidays, likely speaking Asian languages, etc. it would have likely been disorienting and lonely for Alex to suddenly be raised by non-Asian foster parents and lose all those traditions all at once. Possible comments like “I really miss Mom’s pho” or “Do you know how difficult it is to find hoisin sauce in the stores around here?” could have inferred more at that specific kind of loss and isolation in Haven Springs. The game touches upon this very briefly when you look at Gabe’s shrine, and Alex does comment “I don’t even know if I’m doing this right… but I felt like I had to do something.” In this way, I find it especially poignant that she still held onto cultural traditions after so long.

But I still thought Shannon’s critique was overly harsh. The little details really do add up, like in Alex’s childhood home, and meant a lot to me too. And most importantly, there was representation behind the scenes too: Alex was voiced by two(!) Asian American women and the lead writer, Felice Kuan, is Chinese. I think Alex naming her mouse Shu-shu was my favorite detail. Because it’s the one detail you can’t miss. Every streamer remembers Shu-Shu’s name and loves how cute she is and they can probably infer it’s a Chinese term. It just is so visible and empowering in that way and my heart felt warm every time I heard someone say “Aw! Shu-shu!"

But that doesn't mean Alex's Asian heritage didn't matter at all. I really appreciated that Alex's backstory still mattered because she came from a poor, working-class immigrant family. Her life circumstances were used for drama, but none of Alex's suffering was racially motivated and that felt tastefully done. I’m gonna paraphrase a comment I saw on alliebeemac’s playthrough of episode 5: "It's no coincidence that both Alex and Ryan lost their mothers at a young age, but because Ryan's father was a military veteran and had a high-paying job as a Typhon foreman, he got to keep his childhood whereas Alex's entire world was torn apart... And if you want to look at it even more metaphorically, the white patriarch Jed was able to preserve his own image as a hero and 'good old boy' of Haven by literally sacrificing an immigrant family to the mines with the expectation that nobody would come looking for them. Whether you're an immigrant or whether you're a foster child, the system is saying 'we don't care about you.'"

And at the end, Alex tells Jed, "You want to look away and pretend the men you hurt weren't people. But I won't let you.” It's a deliberate stand against Jed (a white man)’s dehumanization of poor laborers, including her Chinese immigrant father. Jed isn't explicitly portrayed as a racist, but his actions come from a privileged, and subsequently racist and classist place. For me, it worked better than LiS2's portrayal of racism because it was subtler and more personal. Alex stands up against Jed out of a personal sense of justice for her brother (and her father).

Do I wish we had more? Yeah, absolutely. I wish Alex got to actually speak Mandarin or Vietnamese in the game because that's so rare in games, even though I knew that would be unrealistic because Erika Mori is Japanese. I wish the character artists had at least made a version of Alex and Gabe’s models without shoes, because it just didn’t look right to see them wear shoes in the house (especially in bed??) and even LiS2 had Sean and Daniel in their socks in some scenes. I wish Alex and Gabe talked more about their family while Gabe was still alive and Alex could have had that comfort of someone who misses the food and customs they used to celebrate. But like I said, one piece of media isn’t gonna please everyone. And Asian representation in particular is so tricky because not only is there not enough of it, but Asian Americans are so diverse and come from so many different backgrounds. Children of immigrants are going to feel more connected to their Asian heritage than third or fourth gen kids or mixed race kids for example. Everyone is going to have a different definition of “Asian culture” and “accurate representation.”

But on a meta-level, it really means so much to simply have an Asian face on the box of a major Western game ❤️ Like even just seeing the way Alex's eyes crinkle when she smiles or how other characters find her attractive (like Steph’s note during the LARP preferring Alex’s natural black hair), it feels so affirming. It’s incredible to see an Asian girl be called the hero of her own story, to see her succeed and fail and cry and laugh and fall in love and kiss another woman and be comfortable in her bisexuality. It acknowledges that the queer community includes Asians, that Asian girls can also be curvy, that Asian girls can and do struggle with mental health. And like Erika Mori said, Alex is a fully-realized character and that’s what makes her so compelling, first and foremost. She also has a strong moral compass and dreams and fears and is such an incredible role model for people of all backgrounds, and that’s what makes her identity as a queer woman of color so much more meaningful.

[writtenonreceipts]

How about 4. “I shouldn’t be this attracted to an elf” for rowaelin from the Christmas prompt list?

I had way too much fun with this.  I wrote it quick and sweet.

 #

Santa and his Helpers

Aelin Galathynius did not hate her job.  Quite the opposite in fact.  She taught high school English—mostly to the juniors and seniors—and it was one of the most rewarding things to experience.  Especially when a proclaimed despiser of Charlotte Bronte turned around by the end of the year having written a full-fledged essay about the merits of understanding Jane Eyre in all its complexity and over-zealous language.

The only thing that made the job even more worth while was the fact that she coached for the girls’ basketball team.

Unfortunately, it was basketball that partially made her life slightly miserable.

It was all thanks to one Rowan Whitethorn, the head coach for the boys’ team. To say that he and Aelin didn’t get along was putting it lightly.

The found every opportunity to fight.  When the boys took up too much time in the gym after their week for the early practice time slot or when the boys didn’t clean up enough after themselves.

It got especially worse when Whitethorn, who also worked as a history teacher in the school, attempted to say that there was no literary merit to the fantasy genre.

Aelin was going to stuff an unabridged copy of The Lord of the Rings down his throat and see how he like that.

Things did not improve as the sports season progressed.  Especially not when both the boys and girls were forced to have a holiday party together due to over booking at the Sports Center in down town Terrasen.

“It’s his fault,” Aelin grumbled to Lysandra.

Lysandra rolled her eyes and shoved a plate of cookies into Aelin’s hands. The one saving grace with the basketball season was having Lys as her assistant coach and the both of them could complain together about anything and everything.

“Please Aelin,” Lysandra said sipping at her hot chocolate.  

While the kids from both teams ran around the sports center choosing to play pick-up games of basketball, climb on a rock wall, or settle on video games—the two manned the treats table.  Mostly so Aelin could stuff her face with homemade goods the mothers had all provided.

“He’s an ass, I’m sure he did it on purpose,” Aelin insisted.

“Can we please stop this and have you just admit that you’re kind of attracted to him?” Lysandra asked.

Nearly choking on her cookie, Aelin shot a somewhat terrified look at her best friend. “Excuse me?”

“Well he’s obviously gorgeous,” Lysandra said casually.  “Even you can’t deny that.  Plus, there’s always been some sort of—”

“If you say sexual tension, I will call Aedion and tell him you’re pregnant,” Aeilin threatened.

Lysandra gasped, one hand going to her belly.  “You wouldn’t.  I have been planning revealing this thing for a week.”

“The day I say that Rowan Whitethorn is attractive is the day that you know I have lost my mind,” Aelin said.

Making a noise of disbelief, Lysandra left Aelin for a moment while she went to talk to some of the girls from the team.

Aelin shook her head.  The brunette had to be having some very, very, strange pregnancy hormones going on to think that Aelin would be attracted to Rowan Whitethorn.  He was arrogant.  A hard ass.  Never knew how to have fun.  It didn’t matter that yes; he was basically a god with a very nicely sculpted body. But that didn’t make up for anything else.

Eating another cookie to avoid more than a nod to a few of the parents, Aelin shook her head.  Rowan Whitethorn would certainly be the death of her.

“Ho, ho, ho!”

Aelin glanced up to the doors of the lobby as one Fenrys Moonbeam strut in decked out in a full Santa costume.  Beard askew and all.

All the boys let out whopping cheers and grabbed their phones.

“What is he doing?” Aelin asked one of the boys that she also had in one of her classes.

The boy, Ryan, grinned.  “Coach Whitethorn and Coach Moonbeam lost a bet on how many three-pointers they could sink in a minute.  The team got to pick the punishment.”

Aelin watched in slight horror, slight admiration, as Fenrys bounded around the front area exchanging punches and fist bumps with the boys on the basketball team and a few of the girls.  Fenrys was the favorite PE teach of the school.  Especially given his easy attitude and love of teaching.

“You look great Fenrys,” Aelin said as he approached her.

He grinned. “This thing is itchy as hell, but at least I got this and not what Rowan did.”

Aelin quirked a brow and was about to ask him what he meant when the man in question entered.

Dressed in a green coat and green leggings like something out of the movie Elf, Rowan Whitethorn sulked into the room.

The entirety of the boys’ team whooped and hollered.  Rowan waved a hand and shook his head.  Surprisingly, Aelin found, he was grinning.  Flat out, no shame, grinning.

“Looking great coach!” Ryan shouted.  

“I should hope so, Ryan this is your doing,” Rowan called back in response.

The entire thing was so entirely strange to Aelin that she could only stare as Rowan and Fenrys made rounds with the other players and their parents.

“Damn, he really does have a nice ass,” Lysandra said popping up beside Aelin again.

Aelin nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden appearance.  She really hoped Lys hadn’t noticed her blatant staring at Rowan, but with the way Lysandra was grinning, Aelin knew she was not going to experience a miracle that night.

“Seriously?” Aelin was about to give her friend a hard time when Rowan came over to the refreshment table, accepting a hot chocolate from Lysandra.

“Nicely done, Rowan,” Lysandra said.  She looked him over with appreciation. “Though you really should have found some pointy ears.

“The tights are bad enough,” Rowan said seriously.  “I’m gonna make Ryan pay for this.”

Aelin couldn’t help but laugh.  The man looked so ridiculous and outside of his comfort zone that she still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d actually dressed up.  Rowan shot her a scowl.

They glared at each other with such ferocity that Aelin wondered if one of them would spontaneously combust.  Then she decided to make the best of this situation and she broke into a feral grin.  Rowan frowned, just slightly.

“Whitehorn, who knew tights were such a good look for you,” she purred, immensely pleased when his cheeks reddened just barely.

“I see you didn’t have any trouble finding an ugly sweater this year, Galathynius,” Rowan replied gesturing to her sweater. It was a mess of tinsel and stitching and cats wearing sweaters themselves while decorating a tree.  She loved it.

“I plan on wearing it up until break starts,” she said.

Rowan surprised her once again by smirking—almost laughing with her over the idea.  Then Fenrys called him over to have a layup competition with a few of the girls and boys of the different teams.

Aelin didn’t even care if Lysandra saw her staring.

“I shouldn’t be this attracted to an elf,” Aelin finally admitted, much to her chagrin.

Lysandra howled in laughter and nearly fell into Aelin’s arms.

#

tags:  @tottenhamboys20 @morganofthewildfire  @aelinchocolatelover @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx  @bamchickawowow @ladywitchling @ireallyshouldsleeprn @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln