#I just cant accept it as Him
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hydrossity-zone · 1 year ago
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Every time I hear bryce papenbrook silver I am vehemently reminded how much I miss pete capella
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medicalunprofessional · 8 months ago
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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dykedvonte · 2 months ago
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I genuinely don't think Curly would be as caring for Jimmy as some people depict him in aus where Jimmy gets stuck and burned rather than Curly.
I feel like the realization would truly hit in that moment of what Jimmy did and how bad it was as Curly desperately tries to get him out of the cockpit. He's trying to break in to save Jimmy, but is he? All the thoughts in his head; Jimmy's trying to kill them all, Jimmy's trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy raped Anya, Jimmy's going to die trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy trying to kill them all because of what he did to Anya, and sort of a final Jimmy did this. Is he trying to save him or trying to figure out why? Trying to finally make him take accountability? You can't hold trial for a dead man. Does he want Jimmy to die? Not really, but it'd be easier than figuring out where they go after this. After they drag him out and get his set up in medical and Jimmy refuses to look at anyone but him.
He's the only one who is truly willing to care for Jimmy. I don't think he's keeping him alive for the same reasons, just he can't bring himself to put him down. He wants answers, he wants to be mad. This is the first time he can talk to Jimmy and not have anything spun back at him but he can't get a response. He's never really been able to but for the first time Jimmy actually has to listen and he'll never know if he's actually listening to him this time. It reminds him too much of not understanding Anya. Anya has to care for him and he doesn't want her too, she shouldn't have to but they can't just let him die, can they? Should they? It's easier than hearing him in pain but that's a reminder he did this... even if Curly allowed it to happen.
No one seems to have thoughts on it but him and Anya. They know the reason he crashed the ship but they don't get the logic. Anya does actually, but Curly has to admit he does to. Has to admit he's always known Jimmy's logic behind things, things that need to be "fixed" but he's always taken responsibility and fixed it himself. The first time he really let Jimmy take responsibility and he couldn't, he can't fix anything and Curly know he can't either. He looks at Jimmy and sees every mistake but now he's wondering how many of Jimmy's he's been tacking on to his own. How different are they?
What should he had done to stop it? Maybe this should've happened to him...
Curly doesn't like those thoughts and how they only come when he's stuck with Jimmy, like he's always done to himself. He's way too gentle when he gives Jimmy his pills, too mindful of teeth that always gave him hollow smiles. A tongue that always told half truths, while he held his own. He holds his jaw too kindly and thinks about all the times he's clenched his and smiled for his friends sake. For Jimmy's sake. Jimmy still swallows the pills and struggles, whines like it's not his fault.
He hoped it hurt.
And he's a little scared that he's a little too okay thinking that.
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im-smart-i-swear · 8 months ago
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coming back home.
@barrenclan
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azurem · 1 month ago
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Idk if I've said this idea before but I think it'd be funny if inkmare Nightmare feels legit offended the moment he realizes the crush™ is happening to him. Hed lowkey see it as a personal attack. I imagine he had a phase where he was like "theres NO WAY ink didn't do this to me on purpose. No way. NO WAY...." before it finally gave away to "HUH. Okay. Okay. No. Biology books. Psychology books. This is. A normal. Thing. HMMMM. Hmmmmmmm. Hm. I gotta speedrun marriage now"
Like. He knew Ink's way of approaching him was kinda off. Like Nightmare was blackmailing him, there's no reason why Ink would be that friendly when they both know Nightmare very much could destroy his social standing. So hes like. "OH they played me THIS WAS THEIR PLAN ALL ALONG....." but then he realizes he finds the thought kinda attractive and he has a moment of. Blank staring at the ceiling. And yea
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keirientez · 1 year ago
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Pokemon trainer AU, Reborn is the champion meanwhile Tsuna is his apprentice. Tsuna’s design belongs to my friend @Cloud_Knee (Twt or X)
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casualavocados · 4 months ago
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An idiot like you...an idiot like you...
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#IM BACK WITH MORE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND MINOR DETAILS POSTING WHEEEEEEEEEEEE#anyway 'only i...since i was young til now...have been looking at you' if you even care. cuz. *gestures* this is ALL that. in these hugs#and okay thinking about it - im a little obsessed with the way we dont really See the reasons Why ai di loves chen yi#like usually in dramas theres a 'here's who he is through x's eyes here's why he is desirable' etc. and kiseki is not. like that.#ai di and chen yi bicker constantly. chen yi brushes ai di off. we see all their rough patches. but the little things ai di says in ep4 -#'he picks on & scolds me the most but he cares for me the most' are shown as part of it all AND actually one of the first things ai di says#in that scene is that they grew up together. like idk theres something about how it doesnt need to be some big thing.#some great quality of chen yi's that makes him loveable. ai di just loves him. it's that simple. he just does and always has and always wil#and loves him for everything chen yi is. even the parts that hurt him. 'an idiot like you' followed by 'im naive. im foolish.' IDK MAN.....#ITS LIKE AI DI IS ACCEPTING AND LOVING ALL OF CHEN YI'S INADEQUACIES. WHILE DAMNING HIS OWN. feeling so stupid for feeling so much#for someone he cant help but love - bc their lives have always. been. entwined. & you see that love echoed in chen yi. in how relaxed he is#how he kisses ai di's choker..follows ai di's lead & ai di's mouth. before chen yi's mind knows its ai di his body knows & loves him easily
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bittersnsweetz · 7 months ago
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ohhh my god i just realised why i love narumitsu so much, despite the obvious (mutual pining, slow burn, one-sided enemies, to friends, to distant friends, to close friends, to lovers all that good stuff)
its BECAUSE they have a shared emotional journey that is so narratively satisfying to me that as im typing this im barely able to contain my stimming
phoenix defends miles, so convinced he can save him and is almost blinded by that fact because he knows edgeworth as so good and so pure and he totally definitely absolutely would never willingly hurt anybody and then he ghosts him for a year which phoenix obviously interprets as yet another person abandoning him, leaving phoenix to pick up the pieces, and that whole time phoenix is beating himself up because wow this is just like when he put all his love on the line for dahlia and it turns out she was just using him this whole time and the absolute mess of emotions that arises when edgeworth comes back, alive, with no apology whatsoever.
and then two years later phoenix loses his job and edegworth is trying so hard to help and be there for him while also juggling his prosecutor job and the challenges that arise from adjusting to a new justice-driven mindset, but phoenix is already closing himself off and refusing to talk about it because hes stingy and secretive and edgeworth has seen the stingy in passing but never to this extent, where he can tell that phoenix NEEDS someone but apparently that someone isnt going to be him. and he's on call with him one night and he hears trucy for the first time and hes mortified because so many complicated emotions and questions arise from that alone: "wright are you sane" "wright are you seeing someone" "wright why didnt you tell me about this so i could help you" and i do think edgeworth gets overwhelmed by all this at once, the secrecy, the daughter, the friend who visits phoenix every now and again, the lack of healthy communication. and suddenly everything that he thought theyve worked so hard to build together has come crashing down and theres nothing phoenix will let him do to help
and its the shared parallel of the initial proposal to help "let me defend you"/"let me be there for you" being completely rejected and the repeated efforts to do so being met with a sudden shift (prosecutor miles edgeworth chooses death/i have a daughter and a new friend who helps me now) and how its so difficult for the both of them to realise at the time that its for their sake that they're doing it, that neither of them are doing this to hurt the other intentionally (although for phoenix i definitely think theres spite involved, but not to the degree to which edgeworth ends up experiencing what he does emotionally), and the idealisation that gets completely shattered by reality
just. UGH. the full circle that is them, after everything is said and done, finding closure in each other again, however non-linear that journey is, and, this is important, CHOOSING to still stay with the other through anything and everything that comes to pass, and truly SEEING the other behind their professional masks. Seeing them entirely and not just the attractive parts. im rabid.
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holdmymetaphor · 2 months ago
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okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about
theres clearly a few dynamics here
-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him
-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid
-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.
-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)
-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)
-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority
- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?
-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)
its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)
and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)
lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.
that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.
this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.
in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general
its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.
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pup-pee · 5 months ago
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he is the dirt under my fingernails
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greasydumbfuck · 4 months ago
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favorite frank is. frank with kids. this guy was meant to be a dad
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iilmunchkiin · 2 months ago
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Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.
(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )
god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.
Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)
But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....
I was a fool
Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go
⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"
(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)
But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."
And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."
I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH
SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j
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ancha-aus · 3 months ago
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Crush Gossip
*slides in with a grin* I am here and we are here for a special installment. @spotaus get in here friend!
Blue centered drabble :D
Just as promised :3
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
*-------------------------*
Blue moves the cleaned plates towards the cabinet before returning to the sink. He puts the whiskey glasses in and starts washing them carefully. He really enjoyed the night and their little gyftmas celebration.
Even if some aspects could have gone better. Or not happened at all.
Blue loves Dream. He really loves his best friend. But Dream needs to stop trying to help him by getting Ink to notice him.
It is fine.
A yawn and Blue doesn’t look away from the water “You are up early.”
His brother yawns as he joins his side “You are up early.” He sounds grumpy “You are already finished cleaning?”
Blue nods as he takes care to wash the smaller glasses “Of course. I know how to handle my liquor.” And he shoots Stretch a grin before frowning “Don’t you want to sleep in? Alphys will oversleep today so not notice you skipping work for a bit and Chara isn’t meant to arrive until a few days.”
Stretch huffs unhappily “Yeah yeah I know.” he yawns again as he leans against the counter as he ignores what Blue said to ask his own question “Dream and Ink out already?”
Blue shrugs “Yeah. Dream had to go again or Core would locate him again… and Ink… Well I am pretty sure Ink left midway through the party.” Blue saw how ink had checked his phone before quickly tugging his phone away and packing his things and leaving.
It stung a little.
Stretch nods as he takes the towel before waiting for Blue to finish the first glass so he can dry “It was nice to have them over.”
Blue laughs and nods “It was great!” he smiles.
Stretch chuckles before toying with the first glass “sorry it didn’t… work with Ink.”
Blue pauses before shrugging “It is fine. It isn’t like it is a surprise.” Blue had already known there was no interest anyway.
Stretch frowns at him “Blue… I know you… I know you were excited to have Ink over. You are allowed to feel disappointed.”
Blue sighs as he gives the next glass over “It isn’t a big deal” he rushes to wash the other glasses.
Stretch frowns at him “I disagree… Blue you-”
Blue pushes the last glass into his hands “There! All clean! If you can finish that up I will go to quickly fix our puzzles!”
Stretch doesn’t make a move to dry the glasses “You just said Alphys will sleep in anyway and not notice.”
Blue nods as he puffs his chest “Doesn’t mean I have to skip too! You enjoy your morning! Make sure to drink a lot of water and you know where the medicine is and-” and Blue gets stopped by magic by the front door.
Damnit he is blue now.
Stretch speaks calmly “Blue. I want to talk about this. Now.”
Blue sighs but doesn’t fight the magic and let it guide him to the couch. Stretch puts the glasse son the drying rack and joins him.
Stretch leans back against the couch “So… the mistletoe… Did Dream tell you he was planning that?”
Blue groans and shakes his skull “No… I didn’t even realise Dream added that with decorating… I found out when he pushed us under it and pointed it out.” he rubs his cheek “If I had known I would have removed it.”
Stretch nods as he leans back “Why? I thought you like Ink?”
Blue sighs as he waves his hands “I do! But it is more complicated than it just being a matter of me liking him!”
Stretch nods along and waits as he looks at him expectingly.
Blue stares at him before crossing his arms “Ink blocked my number… I don’t know why.”
Stretch looks shocked “But I thought you two were friends?”
Blue rolls up more “We are… I don’t understand why… I wasn’t even asking anything out of the ordinary or weird. Just asked him how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with Dream and me… When I didn’t get a reply for a few hours I send him another message to ask if he was busy. Only to get an automated message back stating the number I was trying to reach had me blocked.” It was a thing they all agreed on with the multiverse phones. That if you blocked someone they should be able to know. Mostly because if it is an emergency so you don’t waste your time with messaging someone who won’t ever see your messages.
Stretch frowns “Yet… he came to the party?”
Blue shrugs “Just because Dream asked…” Dream had asked for Blue but Blue wouldn’t be surprised if Ink just wanted to come because of Dream. Blue can’t really blame him for that either. Dream is a god like Ink. And Blue is… well very mortal.
Stretch leans back “huh… strange.”
Blue sighs “Not that strange. Dream can be very convincing when he wants to be.” Which is putting it mildly.
Stretch laughs and nods “I noticed… No the strange thing is that if Ink really didn’t want to be near you he wouldn’t have gone to a private Gyftmas party in your universe.” Stretch raises a brow “Sure he has a bad memory but he should know that at least.”
Blue frowns and shrugs “I guess… I just think he wanted to be near Dream.” Which he honestly isn’t mad about. Disappointed maybe but not mad. It isn’t like it is Dream’s fault and Dream is really trying to get Ink and him to hang out. It isn’t Dream’s fault if Ink prefers to be near him over Blue.
Stretch hums “I guess.” He shoots him a curious look “Why do you even like him?”
Blue groans as he searches for the words “It is hard to explain? I don’t even know when I started to feel like this. At first I just admired him I guess? He was a protector. Of the multiverse at that. It was just… He was what I wanted to be. Someone who did good and protect people. And then I learned he didn’t just protect others but also made more worlds? He was just… He was just the coolest person and I admired him and then I got the chance to travel with him and Dream and I just… those feelings got so much more when I got to know him.”
Stretch snorts “How? He almost destroyed our world… Why like him still?”
Blue frowns as he rubs his arm “I guess… I guess it made him look like just any other person… someone who can make mistakes. He felt more real to me after that. It also helps he helped clean up that mess and made sure our world came back the way it was meant to be.” Blue sighs as he rubs his hands “Him and Dream… After you they were the only ones who believed I could do this thing. That I could protect people and everything.” Blue doesn’t know when exactly he started to feel what he feels for Ink.
Stretch hums before groaning “It is just… You are so out of his league!”
Blue blinks and stares at Stretch “What do you mean? He is a god! I am me.”
Stretch nods “Exactly! He needed all those godly powers and stuff to do what he does. You don’t. You are amazing all on your own Blue. You always believe the best in people and believe everyone deserves another chance. You are willing to look past mistakes, the situation with Ink even proves that. You are always willing to help others. You don’t believe in killing anyone but will protect those who need it. Blue you are an amazing person. And I just can’t see how you could like Ink and why you are afraid you aren’t good enough for him.”
Blue feels so embarrassed. It isn’t as if Stretch never compliments him. Hell he always says he is the most amazing every other day. But that felt more like… brothers just being supportive. This feels like more. Maybe just because it is about Ink?
Blue mutters “It doesn’t matter… He hasn’t wanted to hang out with me alone for ages now…” he sighs as he crosses his arms and lays them on his legs to try and relax.
Stretch frowns as he thinks “Maybe he… remembered what he did and feels guilty?”
Blue huffs as he looks to the side “He would have to choice to feel that. He needs his paints to feel… Look I knew from the start this crush was hopeless okay?” he hugs his legs closer “And it isn’t his fault he can’t feel like normal monsters can… or that he lacks a soul… I don’t blame him for any of that. That would be stupid. I know he has no interest in me like that…” it is why Blue feels so bad about Dream trying to help set them up.
Blue laughs as he rubs his socket as he feels the itch “If he likes anyone it would be Dream as Dream used to be able to make him feel things at least a little… Now however? I don’t know.” he lays his cheek on his leg.
Stretch frowns before nudging their shoulders together “Well… We can’t know either way. They are gods. Hell if we know what their reasoning is.” He smiles “Maybe he is just busy or distracted? And he accidentally blocked your number?”
Blue shrugs but lets himself lean against his taller younger brother “I guess.”
Stretch hums as he leans his skull on top of his “My point still stands. You are allowed to be disappointed.”
Blue shrinks in on himself “It is just stupid. I knew it was never going to work… Even if he felt anything for me it wouldn’t work as he is a god and I am not.” And he doesn’t want to be an outcode. He can’t give up his world and brother. He already almost lost both once before and he can’t deal with that. “It is just…” he feels sad “I just thought maybe he wanted to send some time with me… that we could just enjoy some time together as friends. But I guess even that isn’t that important to him anymore. Maybe it never was.”
Stretch leans heavily on top of him “You don’t know what he is thinking Blue. Maybe he really is just very busy with god stuff. Don’t you always say that you can’t assume what other people are thinking?”
Blue feels embarrassed but nods “I do… It is just… hard sometimes…” It just makes him feel worse for not being able to follow his own advice.
Stretch hums “Why not tell Dream? That you appreciate his help but know it isn’t going anywhere?”
Blue sighs and mutters “Because I did but Dream doesn’t believe in anything being impossible.” Stupid gods and their meddling.
Stretch laughs “I can imagine. Why not tell him it bothers bothers you?”
Blue shrugs and mutters “I don’t want to worry him. He is already dealing with a lot and well… It isn’t like a stupid hopeless crush is that bad of a situation…”
Stretch hums “I guess…” He thinks for a moment before grinning “Wanne see if we can meet up with the others? Just the six of us to explore some unsuspecting universe?”
Blue blinks and grins at Stretch “Seriously?”
Stretch grins and shrugs “Paps and I haven’t bothered Edge into relaxing for a while. It will be good for that stick in the mud.” He grins.
Blue blinks before nodding “Yes.”
Stretch grins as he pulls out his phone and starts texting “You get dressed. I will start up the machine.” And he blinks out of view.
Blue goes to his room and gets dressed. His hands pausing on which bandana to wear. His hand hovers over the grey one with beautiful blue details. He had gotten that in a present the year before and Blue never figured out who gave it to him. He had hoped that… well it doesn’t matter now. Blue quickly grabs his normal blue bandana and rushes down to meet up with his brother.
Stretch grins as he holds up his phone “I got confirmation from everyone that everyone is down. Sans is setting up the coordinates for us already and Edge is bringing snacks.”
Blue smiles as he wiggles in place. It will be nice to just enjoy some time with his dear friends. Just to take his mind of his hopeless love life.
Hell maybe he, Edge and Paps can go clubbing! That has been a while and will be nice to relax and let go a bit.
The machine starts up and a beautiful green portal opens. Stretch and him step through to enjoy a day out.
*-------------------------*
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dykedvonte · 2 months ago
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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ghostlycleric · 1 year ago
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im sorry this gif alone is all the byler proof i need
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corvid-ghost · 4 months ago
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The in story reasons of Odysseus and Penelopes namesss
Odysseus, named by his grandfather, someone so fueled by hate, he named his only grandson "he who causes pain". He named a child after suffering because, in his eyes, the whole world suffers.
Penelope, who was born to "Arnacia", but renamed after swans/ducks saved her from her own father. Her own father tried to kill because she wasn't who he wanted.
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