#I hope someone acknowledges it someday that would be cool

[since-times-long-forgotten]

just found an oh hellos fan out in the wild and apparently I knew them when I was in 3rd grade what is happening

[river-bottom-nightmare]

The kid really wasn’t supposed to be an issue. Dick assured himself it wasn’t going to be an issue. He crossed his heart and hoped to die, dragged a knife over his throat, offering Tiger a solemn promise before flipping the knife between his fingers, dancing too close to his jugular, and winking. (One of these days, he’d put a flash of panic in Tiger’s eyes, he just knew it.) Agent 37, especially now with Tiger, was damn near unshakable.

But here’s the thing: this little brat with a suit more expensive than half of Bruce’s wine cellar and a pout sweeter than a baby’s and pudginess still clinging to his cheeks hadn’t stopped talking about jaguars in the past ten minutes.

“Eyes on target. Two minutes to break through security’s last defense,” says Tiger’s voice in his ear, quiet even through their tinny comms. Dick can picture the concentrated furrow on his forehead, the set of his shoulders and flex of his traps to settle himself before a mission’s last stretch. He can picture it better than he can his siblings, somedays.

“That’s great, buddy!” Dick tells Tiger and the kid damn-near clinging to his leg. His hair is blonde, ruffled, clinging to any vestige of its gelled style with a sort of hopeless desperation, like trying to ground a ghost. And this wouldn’t be an issue, it really truly wouldn’t, if Damian Wayne hadn’t also spent their last gala running his tiny, calloused hands through his sticky hair, doing his best impression of not clinging to Dick’s leg, and continuously talking about tigers.

How long has it been since someone’s last touched him with such simple trust? Dick feels the boy’s faith angularly, like a spear of glass through his ribs, through the ribbons of his tendons.

It’s frigid. The two of them are on the ballroom’s balcony, letting the wind use her cold fingers to trace the underside of Dick’s scalp, letting a night of dancing and quiet drugs and secrets spill out behind them. (Letting Dick protect this child’s innocence a day longer.) He isn’t true royalty but he may as well be, the way Bruce always was, because underneath the balcony overlook is a very illegal jaguar enclosure. Inside, the jaguar seems to be stretching, waking herself up for the day, taking note of the iron fence surrounding her as Dick supposes she does every morning. Dick can sympathize. There’s a different sort of freedom they’re both experiencing for the first time, and Dick thinks they both rather prefer before.

“—and they have the strongest bite of any big cat! Compared to its size, I mean.” The boy clearly thinks this fact is splendid—it actually kind of is—and he looks up at Dick, pleading with his eyes for acknowledgement. His aunt and uncle, the child’s new guardians, are attempting to use him to release a bioweapon four nights from now that would potentially kill millions. He’s resisted them for weeks, and here he is, begging for a morsel of praise.

Dick lets his eyes go wide. “Whoa, really? That’s actually pretty cool.” The boy beams, his little wildflower head bobbing and his smile unburdened, beauty like something peeking up out of the earth for the first time. God, Damian used to hate these parties. Used to scowl at any mention of fumbling himself into a child’s suit and making nice with shark-toothed civilians for hours. Used to look up at Dick with that same unfiltered joy when they sat in the hall, asking Alfred to sneak them some tarts, Damian leaning into Dick’s arm and telling him about a cool new tiger fact he learned. That arm still prickles. Emptiness does the opposite of pain, and somehow that is always worse.

“Everything’s disabled,” Tiger’s voice nudges him out of his reverie. “Except the last password. Needs to be handwritten. You got that kid to open up yet?” Dick can hear the challenge in his voice, ever so subtly weaved into his even tone, and he can’t keep his lips from turning up at the edges.

The jaguar in the enclosure below folds up from her stretches, smooth like a burn, and leaps atop a large rock in her enclosure. The boy is stunned into silence for a brief moment. He seems to be gazing at the jaguar with a dangerous sort of longing in his eyes. Like he wants to be cracked open, like a stone-fruit ripped in two and devoured, like trust seems to be at once a holy and sordid thing to him. (He seems to be exactly the son of parents who, rather than entrusting any of their relatives or partners, made their child create the password for access to a mass bioweapon, then had the brilliant sense to be assassinated before they could tell him about it.)

Quietly, murmuring into the comm on his wrist, Dick says, “Try panthera onca.”

There’s a pause, then, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“He’s a kid, Tiger.” It wasn’t really that long ago that Dick was making up stupid passwords for Bruce to guess. The password to the pillow fort Dick made for Bruce’s birthday was the binary nomenclature for a bat. The password Damian uses—used, fuck, used—for his phone was the king cobra. 

Silence from the other end of the comm. Silence from the kid, too. Dick glances over, and sees he’s still hypnotized by the jaguar. He follows the child’s line of sight, and finds the jaguar staring straight at them. I am hungry, her eyes tell him. I have not felt another living being in so long that I will devour the next one I touch. I am so fucking starving and I want you like an organ taken out of your guts, I want to swallow you into a lanky-shaped hollow near my stomach, and maybe, Dick thinks, maybe she’ll name it “Agent 37” or “Nightwing” or possibly even “Robin.” But what I want most of all, she says with a flick of her tail and a twitch of her ears, is to rip out your bones and hold them, craft them, use them to wrench open the bars of this cursed cage so that I may run, and never return. I will take your bones with me, the jaguar promises, so you will be free as well.

The jaguar growls quietly, and Dick can somehow hear it from the balcony. Then, she flits away. Dick untenses in time with the boy next to him. He thinks of iron bars and bloody torsos and a time when he could wear his own face. He thinks of a boy, only a little taller than the one standing next to him, who would have kept him from ever giving in to Bruce’s demands to renounce his face to begin with.

(He thinks of Damian’s bloody torso, specifically, and thinks that he would let the jaguar carve open his gut and tear out his bloated bag of organs, if only she would give them to Damian. They would be more useful than his unknowable face.)

Tiger’s voice filters through the comm. “Package secure. Heading towards safehouse delta.”

The kid next to him sighs happily, again. “Pretty cool, isn’t she?”

Dick smiles down at him. “Very. What’s her name?”

The boy frowns, confusion on his face. “She doesn’t have a name. It’s better not to have one, I think.”

“Oh really?”

A nod from the child, more serious than Dick imagined “She did bad things. She killed people. That’s why they let me have her. And I think she’d like it better if I didn’t use her old name, the one that she had when she did the bad things. But I don’t want to give her a new name and have it be wrong! So she doesn’t have a name.”

“Do you think she likes that?” Dick asks. “Names are—names are important.”

“I don’t know,” the boy says, suddenly looking very unsure of himself. “But I think it’s better to not have a name than to have one that hurts you. Or to have one that doesn’t fit.”

Dick hums. Considers. Offers the boy another smile and straightens up in the way people do when they’re getting ready to leave. “I suppose you have a point, kid.”

The child nods. There are bruises in the tender skin under his red-rimmed eyes and his lips have scabs from his own teeth all over them. They’re so chapped, they’re nearly bleeding. Dick knows how much sleep children get after their parents are murdered in front of them. “Thank you for the jaguar facts,” Dick tells him, sincerely. “They made the night much more fun.”

The boy nods. Opens his mouth, closes it, then seems to make up his mind and opens it again. “Before you go,” he says, with all the hesitation he’s kept close and quiet this entire night, “can I—can I just have a hug? Please?”

And Dick, without hesitation, folds to his knees and opens his arms.

---

@dickgraysonweek dick grayson week day 2: first responder au | “can i just have a hug? please?” | spies & secret agents

---

taglist who will probably shoot on sight thinking i've risen from the dead: @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical @queenofbooknerds @scattered-winter @amillionandonefandoms

[barbwillbrb]

so what do these two do on their downtime? what kind of future do they picture for themself? or hope for?

Downtime

Rackal enjoys being active and uses exercise as stress relief (he is very stressed). He will train on his own using a dummy, practicing with Lae’zel or Karlach, or practicing calisthenic exercises. He’ll also take Scratch/Owlbear cub for walks/play fetch and explore the areas surrounding camp. He enjoys nature/wildlife, and likes to collect things during the adventure that he finds interesting/he thinks his mom/companions would like. You’ll also find him frequently tending to the camp’s weaponry/armor alongside Lae’zel, and if Wyll’s “Gale doesn’t know what a vegetable is” comment is true he is definitely assisting with cooking because he is not getting poisoned again.

Clairice enjoys playing music and will be off on her own writing songs/working with her lute, typically perched near/on a tree. She likes climbing trees (or anything that she can scramble up) and you’ll typically find her perched up somewhere with her instruments and a bottle of some ale. She also enjoys playing sleight of hand games with the other companions, namely Astarion (she’s really good around card tricks). Astarion is also teaching her how to sew so she can add cool trinkets/feathers to her hat/showcoat.

Future/Hopes

Goddamn this is a tough one.

At the start of the game/prior to the Nautiloid, I really think Rackal honestly believes he will die in a few, likely to some mission gone wrong just like how he lost Meirin. Truthfully, he’s trying to find purpose/something to believe in again after really losing faith in “institutionalized forms of justice,” like the Fists and even to some extent being a paladin. I think being on a team of companions struggling to also do the right thing helps him refocus, and by the end of the game he is sure in himself/ability to do good. I think he would end up joining the Baldur’s Gate sect of the Harper’s post-return from Avernus with Karlach/Wyll.

On a more personal note, he would ideally like to find someone to share his life with; he misses that connection and is fucking lonely.

Clairice, meanwhile, is struggling with a case of “I thought I knew what I want but turns out I was wrong and I am really trying not to think about it too much.” She very much did not want the heroes life, finding the tales she grew up with talking about the glory of adventure and standing up for the innocent always tend to forget to mention the actual costs to the hero. She’s been living life to her own means, and ignoring the clawing feeling at her chest that she’s missing something.

She’d been with the Guild and was Keene’s right hand/lover for many years, but over the past year their relationship began to get more tense as things in the Baldur’s Gate underground got even more shady as the Zhentarim’s moments became stranger. Keene was looking to make an official stand against them/seek ways for the Guild to begin sussing out this growing problem, while Clairice was firmly on the side of “we’re staying the fuck back.” It ultimately led to Clairice leaving the Guild/Keene, and she’s been on her own for a couple of months prior to the start of the game.

Ultimately: she’s fucking scared. She sees very clearly that there is something on the horizon but acknowledging it fully isn’t something she can do right away, so she is focused very much on protecting her own. Her major struggle is overcoming her cowardice to take an actual stand for what she believes in.

Prior to the game, becoming the Sword Coast’s best thief would have been her ideal dream, maybe holing up in some fancy apartment someday to live off her riches. Now, she’s pretty settled on the idea of becoming a badass folk hero/continuing to adventure/do good (with a sprinkle of chaos). Still wants those riches/high rise apartment tho.

[calpalsworld]

So the behind the scenes for Pizza Tower is literally the worst. The creator is literally the worst. If i was in the same room as someone like this I would probably become a killer. Other fans have already said their opinions, basically "I get why people like the game but I can't engage with it anymore" etc. That's pretty much how I'm feeling. I feel disgusted and betrayed and it hurts to remember something I like about the game, and then remember it was made by these dangerous people. Maybe at some point if I do get the urge to draw the characters again, maybe I'll put a huge DNI banner that says "fuck bigots die mcpig" or something. But I need a bit to think about if thats a good decision or not... I feel like its not... On one hand I want to say "I'm gonna take the good parts of this game and make it what the creator hates" but I also have no clue if thats a good idea, and I need a while to think about it.

One BIG THING I'm asking of everyone, and I may make another post asking this question later, is does anyone know any Pizza Tower alternatives??? Any media that is cartoony and simple and crazy and well animated? I really wish I could find something that had the things I liked in Pizza Tower. Please comment or send me an ask if you have any suggestions.

Anyway heres some PERSONAL thoughts that are NOT as important:

I feel disappointed in myself for noticing problematic character designs from the start and convincing myself that maybe the bigotry was unintentional, that it was just a negative side effect of being inspired by other (bigoted) things. It was obviously not. I should've known it was intentional.

A lot of people have been saying "Pizza Tower being problematic was obvious due to the art style," which is partially true, but at the same time that makes me really sad. My first exposure to the game was my friend saying "this looks like something you would make!" And I've been fucking obsessed with the art style ever since. For those who don't know, I used to be an exclusively "shitpost" artist, which I REALLY enjoyed, and art college has made me more and more corporate. So sadly.... Pizza Tower made me feel connected to how I used to draw and create art. I was really happy to see such a creative and unconventional art style that is like my own thriving with popularity, and I liked to imagine that maybe the creator was similar to me (he is not). Lately I've started saying "I'm not gonna make sanitized art anymore I'm gonna only make crazy stuff" and yeah that was literally because of... Pizza Tower.... which has been revealed to be made by the worst people ever.... (so yeah lmk if you guys have any recommended alternatives).

Last thing is I think it has been cool how Peppino has become an iconic ass trans-headcanoned character for a lot of tumblr. So I guess thats the reason why I most likely won't judge anyone for drawing Pizza Tower. We got something awesome going that was our own thing. But you have to remember McPig is also a racist, and trans headcanons don't do anything to fight against that.

I just hope the people who will continue to draw art to spite McPig's intentions openly acknowledge how fucked up the game's creation is, and don't promote the game. If you continue being a Pizza Tower fan please at least be self-aware and adamantly against the creator. Like post a link to pirate the game along with every time you post art of it or something to counteract your inherent promotion of the game, idk. Don't let bigots get away with being popular. That is dangerous.

TLDR:;

No more Pizza Tower for me, at least for a while, if I do ever post something Pizza Tower-related again it will be staunchly anti-Pizza Tower. Someday, I hope to create something like fun and silly like Pizza Tower, but antifascist. Also, new hyperfixation recommendations that are similar to Pizza Tower strongly encouraged, thank you!

[wazzappp]

Ghost rider RE7 AU

@baselicoc​ HEY HI HELLO IM SOOOOO GLAD YOU SAID THAT YOU OPENED THE FLOODGATES SO YOUR GETTING @ed​ I HOPE THATS ALRIGHT

*zip ties you to a chair and tapes your eyes open*

Aight this is more a collection of headcannons than an actual plot but I might get that out someday if yall are interested. For now just take some of my disjointed ramblings. 

For the sake of clarity, Robbie is Ethan, and Gabe is Mia.

Robbies powers are a mix between Ethan and Evelines. He has a rapid healing factor, can talk to/control the mold, and shapeshift to a certain degree. From how he behaves in his comics I think he would respond in stages. 1. Ignore it as long a humanly possible, 2. Acknowledge it but refuse to use the more freaky powers (shapeshifting and mold manipulation) 3. Eventually start to use them but only in dire situations. He carries the same denial that Ethan does throughout the game. Robbie would absolutely ignore his newfound weirdness to a ridiculous degree, but even he would start asking questions after having his fucking hand stapled back on. The way I think he ignores this for so long is that he just latches onto what Jack Baker says during the trapdoor cutscene.

(also the fact that you fucking collect your leg as inventory kills me these game devs were on another level when making this shit)

“Use this, you can heal your leg. Come on, you can do it!” I think this gives Robbie the opportunity to latch onto the idea that the medical kits / goop juice (for all my fellow markiplier fans) / Chem fluid bottles are what allows him to keep going, not his weird mold infested biology. Given what he's seen at this house I think Robbie would resolve that if he were infected, he would need to die. Turning into a monster like the Bakers, a mindless drone like the molded, or god forbid becoming like Eveline is absolutely not an option (spoiler alert that's basically what happens).

Eventually he would realize it though. Maybe he accidentally cuts himself at the BSAA provided safe-house he and Gabe are staying at and it heals way too quickly, or he catches his eyes in the mirror reflecting in ways they absolutely shouldn't. I’m thinking he would start going to the worst possible outcomes and therefore the worst possible solutions but Gabe puts a stop to that very destructive line of thinking. Not just because Robbie still needs to be around to take care of him, but because he finds out that Gabe has been permanently affected by his time with the Bakers too. Yep, I'm incredibly predictable. I’m giving Gabe a variation of Rose’s powers. I'm thinking for the vaccine choice after Jack Baker's final boss fight ( Robbie ABSOLUTELY chooses Gabe over Zoe, there is no question about it) the vaccine just gets rid of Eveline's ability to control Gabe and not the mold infection itself.

How Gabe would feel about being infected is definitely an interesting question. Robbie probably hates the fact that he's infected but that's because he hates not feeling in control of himself or the situation he's in. For Gabe it's different. Robbie being in control of the mold feels entirely different from Eveline. Where Eveline would manipulate and force people into doing what she wants, Robbie is someone who he trusts and more than that almost seems to reject the hive mind that they are both tapped into. The mold isn't inherently evil. It just relies on guidance from whoever is controlling it, and I think Gabe would be able to understand that having experienced both Eveline leading and now Robbie. And with Robbie in the lead I think Gabe would transition from scared to woah cool pretty quickly. That and I think he would definitely enjoy exploring without the need for mobility aids. In this au Gabe had physical disabilities before encountering Eveline, but she forcibly shifted his physiology into something ideal for her ‘new best friend/ brother’. He retains his mental disabilities because removing them feels kinda gross to me.

Gabe would also have a healing factor, just not as aggressive as Robbies. When Robbie is injured the mold recognizes it and immediately does what it can to fix it; forming a protective layer over it like a weird automatic scab. This rapid healing does result in scar tissue though, and holy shit are there a lot of scars. I was rewatching Mark’s RE7 lets play and in the words of Phil Swift THAT’S A LOTTA DAMAGE. Anyway, this is fine for cuts or puncture wounds, but if he breaks a bone or dislocates a joint for example, this healing can look like a marionette being yanked around as bones are aggressively pulled back into place. It is violent healing and I imagine it would be extremely unsettling to observe.

Gabe’s is more gradual and subtle. Cuts that would heal over the span of a week heal over a few days. And because this healing is more gentle he doesn't tend to scar as easily from damage. But his main powers would focus on communicating with the mold itself as well as creating the mold flowers that we see in the ‘shadows of rose’ DLC. Those flowers are used to generate walls of mold that I think he could use to defend himself. It's like giving the mold a new starting point to grow from. He can't command it without question like Robbie can, but he does talk to them and sometimes they decide to listen. Mostly he talks to them like they’re his friends. Which is only vaguely concerning when a BSAA rep comes around the house to check on them and finds Gabe mumbling into a corner. The rep asks what he's doing and Gabe just looks at him and smiles “I’m talking to my friends in the walls!”

Speaking of which I think that Robbie would subconsciously start growing mold in the walls and around the backyard of their BSAA provided safehouse. It watches everything, and it reports back (yes I am including hive mind elements into this did you really expect better from me) following his orders as a ‘new Eveline’ (which he absolutely HATES). As a side note, it's definitely conflicting to ask myself what it would take for Robbie to kill a 10 year old girl, but mind controlling his little brother into stabbing him repeatedly and cutting his hand off with a chainsaw, while also killing and turning 100+ people into mind controlled mold monsters would probably get him close.

Robbie’s overprotective nature graduates into borderline possessiveness here. It's primarily because of the mold's influence but also holy fucking trauma batman because he thought his little brother straight up died and went through a hell on earth trying to save him (im figuring gabe goes missing for a couple weeks before robbie finds him in the Bakers House. I know in the original game it's three years but frankly I don't know how Robbie would do with that so three weeks it is). The mold is an entity in and of itself here. Outside of the Megamycite, this is an independent colony that was nearly wiped out by the person it is now attached to. Protecting Robbie and Gabe is its prime directive as a point of survival,  and that desire being pumped into the already paranoid and jaded teenager has palpable effects.

But essentially the reasoning I’m putting out here from Robbies pov is ‘Fuck that should not have healed instantly without that weird medical stuff I am infected maybe I should turn myself in’ to ‘Wait wait fuck Gabe is ALSO infected but he seems.. Fine? Maybe because Eveline isn’t present anymore the mold isn't affecting either of us as aggressively?” ending with ‘Gabe seems fine, so I’m probably fine. If were both infected the same way than we should both be good. Right?’

Unfortunately of course they are NOT infected in the same way. Like I said Gabes abilities were supposed to be a ‘gift’ from Eveline. She wanted someone who she could run around and play with. But Robbie straight up DIED. We know from RE8 that he got deaded on after getting curbstomped by one mind controlled Jack Baker (following the dismemberment of course jesus Ethan had a fucking inhuman pain tolerance even before getting infected) and by the end of the game itself his entire body is composed of mold. Gabe is infected, Robbie is made of infection. 

Okay this is getting really fuckass long so I’m gonna continue in a second post. Also I just. Dont know? Where to put Eli in this? I have some plans for Lisa but the stinky bastard man eludes me.

[aroaceconfessions]

I figured out that I am aro not long time ago and a lot can be explained to me now.

all my life was about finding a person who can be my romantic partner.

in childhood, I always liked romantic stories. I dreamt about finding my significant other and thought it will be as in books or cartoons. there are a lot of happy couples in my family so I believe in true love.

but weirdly enough for a little girl who almost all the time dreamt about love, in my dream about the real future, there was one plan. but.

as I can remember there was only me without that partner that I dream about. somehow, even though I told everyone that I will find someone eventually, I couldn’t imagine someone in my future. that didn’t bother me. I was a little girl who made silly romantic stories in her head where she was the main character.

when I got older, at some point I noticed that I always seek someone who could potentially be attractive to me, because I wanted romance so badly, especially this teen romance that the media showed me. I still made up romantic stories in my head wishing that maybe someday they will come true.

and at some point, I started worrying that no one likes me. and not because there was this person whose attention I wanted very much and they didn’t notice me. not at all. I just wanted someone to like me. I have never been worried that I didn’t like anyone, it just seemed okay. love just comes when it is time, right?

I remember there was one boy who told me he liked me. I remember that he told me that I’m really smart and pretty. I rejected him since I didn’t like him back. but I liked the fact that he thought that I’m smart and pretty. but it didn’t matter who would say that because I didn’t hear it about me a lot from my peers. I liked the idea that he thought like that not because there is some romantic background behind it, but that he just thought that I was smart and pretty.

time went by but I still didn’t like anyone.

there were 2 times when I thought I had a crush. and only not long time ago I figured that they were not.

the first time was a guy who was older than me. oddly enough I started seeing him almost everywhere in the school. and he was someone, who I would consider my type. I felt nervous and strange around him. as the book said there are symptoms of a crush, isn’t it? but there was one thing that wasn’t feeling right. I didn’t think that this was a crush. I couldn’t imagine us being in love with each other and having this romantic story that I’d dreamt about. I just couldn’t see us doing this romantic stuff. it didn’t feel right to me. although I liked the idea of him having a crush on me. he graduated and I haven’t thought about him a lot. maybe I just wanted to be friends with him.

then there was a girl. Oh god, this girl was beautiful and I also had all those strange feelings but still, I couldn’t imagine us being in love and doing all the romantic stuff.

I started asking myself if I’m bisexual because I found everyone attractive and thought of kissing a girl didn’t appear odd to me. everyone felt the same to me.

I started asking everyone who I could how does falling in love, having a crush feels. yes, I knew it from the media, but we know how romance in there can be represented. everyone told almost the same thing if they could describe at all. but they knew this feeling. I was sure that I can feel it. maybe i just didn’t acknowledge it when I had a crush. I continued hoping about this romantic story that I will have.

then there was another boy that I met in summer camp. he was funny and cool in my opinion. I was really eager to be friends with him. I was sure that this was not a crush. until I started telling my friends about him and they’ve told me “oh, you have a crush on him!”. but I was sure i didn’t. I wanted be friends with him. I wanted us to be comfortable with each other. but nothing in romantic way.

I’ve graduated from school without any crush, without being in relationship once. but I was not that sad about it. I was while I had been in school. “it’s a shame no one ever liked me that way”, — I thought, but I still was not bothered by the fact that I have never liked someone. by that time I knew about aromantics but i was sure it didn’t apply to me. I can fall in love without a doubt. however somewhere inside there was a little-tiny doubt.

then first serious thoughts about being aro came to me when I read a fan fiction where the main character was demiromantic. although it was a romantic story, feeling of the character just appeared right to me. and then I started to analyse my experience.

Uni started for me without desiring relationship. I just felt content with how I am now. as I always did, I loved being single too. I still looked for someone who I might like in every new person, but it was not intentional. it just how my brain works (it kinda annoys me but I am used to ignoring it).

maybe a few months later I decided to try this label by making a bracelet in colours of aro flag since I really liked it and I had only those colours to make it. it still was really new and kinda scary to me, but it wouldn’t hurt me to try since only I knew meaning of this bracelet.

I got a lot of new friends since uni started and i am really happy about it.

and then started something that is pissing me off still.

everyone was talking about romance.

and it has never been a problem to me. I love romantic stories and all.

but I didn’t realise how annoying for me is the fact that some people think that life is revolving about romantic love and it is the only thing that makes your life whole.

my family asked me if I found someone I like romantically.

when I greeted my friend from choir, my classmate with a smile on his face asked if that guy was my boyfriend.

when I was feeling depressed, because there are a lot of things on my shoulders, and when I decided to share it with a new friend from choir, he asked me if I was going through heartbreak. as if this is the only thing that could make me feel this way.

later he asked if I had a ring from my boyfriend.

after I said that I didn’t like winter, he said that I will love it when there will be someone with whom I can cuddle when it’s cold.

every goddamn thing started revolving around romance.

I have never felt, until those tiny situations, that I am not whole if I am single.

but I didn’t want someone.

I don’t want someone to look at the stars with me, because stars have so special meaning to me that I don’t want to share it with anyone. I don’t want to build “my family” with husband and children. I already have my family whom I love very much.

I just don’t want it.

and then it hit me. and I felt a relief this time, because I understood that what is this. that it is okay and I am whole. I don’t need anyone in romantic way to be happy. I never did. I was happy with my friends and family and it was enough. I never felt that I lacked something.

that’s how I figured out that i’m aro.

I hope my experience can somehow help others to understand themselves better. and to feel that they are not alone.

if you read this sentence, thank you very much for listening to my story✨

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Defender Strange - 'of secret longing and hidden grief'

a Defender Strange x Female Reader blurb

photo edit by @doctorstrangeaskblog

If you’ve followed me since Multiverse of Madness hit the big screen, then you’ll know I’ve developed quite a passion for the Stephen Strange Variants. Defender Strange is my favorite, and he’s lodged himself in my noggin, demanding to be fic’d. I finally came up with a concept, and I have no idea if I’ll continue, but please indulge my little flight of fancy—won’t you?

summary:  You had a hard day of training, honing your fighting skills, as you have finally been placed on permanent rotation to assist the Sorcerer Supreme himself, in his constant battles to keep Earth and our Universe safe from merciless Evil. You admire Stephen Strange, and set him as a high example of the sort of Sorcerer you hope to someday become—while you heart harbors a secret, unfulfillable crush. This evening, you’ve proceeded to the sauna, to help you relax and work out the knots and muscle strain from the training session you subjected your self to. You are gobsmacked to find yourself in the company of Strange himself, seeking the same sort of relief.

characters: Defender Strange, Sorceress Female Reader/Y/N

genre: pining, angst

rating: general audience (except for one naughty word)

word count: 2.5k

A long, intense session of hand-to-hand combat training had pushed you nearly to your physical limit, but evening brought the chance for some much-needed relief. You had headed directly to the red cedar sauna at the far end of the compound, knowing that the heat and steam would be the best balm for the muscle strain and exhaustion that seemed to infuse every cell of you body. Grateful to find you had the place to yourself, you doused the coals—enchanted to burn continuously with no need for replacement—with water enough to swiftly fill the narrow room with a cloud of steam, and then took a seat on one of the lower benches that lined the walls.

You bowed your head, kneading the back of your neck a bit, while ruminating on the trials that lay before you, as you were nearing the tests that would at last determine if you were finally qualified to earn the rank of Master. You felt confident and well-prepared—and surprisingly happy in the vocation that you had stumbled upon in the wake of the sudden loss of the future you had planned with your late fiancé. Though your heart would forever mourn him and the hopes that you had shared, it now seemed to you that Fate itself had guided your course to Kamar-Taj for the healing of your forlorn soul and the repurposing of your life.

Your training in the Mystic Arts had gifted you with heightened awareness and keener senses. A whisper of cool air prickled across your skin, telling you the curtain separating the sauna room from the antechamber had been silently pushed aside. The slight creak of the floorboards confirmed that someone had joined you. You felt a powerful yet restrained presence loom over you—and looked up to meet the unwavering gaze of the man upon whom you heart now secretly rested. Stephen Strange.

Stephen Strange, bare-chested, and scantily clad as was appropriate for the setting. The strong breadth of his shoulders—always obvious, even beneath the several layers of his usual tunic and robes—took your breath away. You could hear you pulse pound in your brain, from a mix of surprise and unquenchable desire.

And your heart did a little flip, for you rarely saw him outside the strictures of duty, and for those times you had always been prepared to keep your forbidden yearning for him from showing upon your face; you just had to hope that this time, his glance was too quick to notice you were a ridiculous, lovelorn…ninny. Over him.

He acknowledged you with a quick nod and a growled ‘Adept’, before crossing to the bench opposite you to take a seat. As ever, he moved with the coiled, confident grace of a big cat, and you let your eyes linger long enough to memorize the remarkable moment of being this close to him.

But then you did your best to look away, out of respect for the Sorcerer Supreme. And you didn’t want to give even the impression of gaping, because having a crush on the leader of your order was silly and useless, and something you might have given in to in your old life. But new you was disciplined and focused; new you had given up on the trivialities of romance and physical attraction, in favor of a life of service to humanity.

Just as surely as the very real, flesh and blood man sitting opposite you had done. His long neck stretched in a mouthwatering arch as he laid his head back upon the cedar bench at his back, his eyes closed and his gorgeous throat so tempting and vulnerable looking that you forgot to swallow until your mouth pooled over with drool. Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and de facto leader of The Defenders, mere feet away from you, bare-chested and with a thin, white, cotton towel wrapped around his trim waist. Don’t stare...don’t stare, you scolded yourself; by the benevolence of Gaea herself, DO NOT STARE. 

And yet, it couldn’t be helped. Not when the towel clung like a second skin to his thick, powerful looking thighs. Nor when you lowered your eyes in an attempt to be decorous, and caught sight of his large, bare feet--so large that your mind harkened back to giggling with your best friends in high school when a senior girl informed you sophomores that the size of a man’s feet was a sure indication as to the size of his erect cock. A fact you had personally confirmed in your own collegiate sexual adventures.  Oh my god, he must be hu...

You squashed that thought just in time to see Strange take to those feet so that he could pour several ladles of water over the hot coals. They hissed, and a fresh cloud of steam filled the red cedar sauna, while he padded back to sit opposite you once more. “That’s goooood,” he hummed, leaning back on his elbows and stretching his legs to their full length, which left them inches from your own. Your heart began to race; what if you were to accidentally touch him? To save yourself looking like an artless, graceless fool in front of this brilliant, magnificent, mysterious, hero of a man, you needed to flee at once.

But while your head demanded you immediately evacuate the unisex sauna in order to save face and to keep from revealing your ridiculous, hopeless crush, your heart had frozen you in place. Drawn to him, it seemed, as waves were bound to hit the shore by the pull of the moon on the tides. Inevitably, you cast your eyes his way, fearing that somehow he would sense not only the depth of your hero-worship, but those feelings you must hide forever ‘neath a professional façade--and that would be enough for him to have you expelled from Kamar-Taj as unworthy to serve there. Yet you could not tear yourself away.

Strange let his head loll back with a heady groan, and despite the heat and steam encompassing the little room, you shivered. Hard. Every cell of your body awash with romantic longing for Strange to open his eyes and see you there. Waiting and eager, lovesick and hopeless, and wondering how a simple woman such as yourself could ever aspire to gain his notice. Let alone be deemed worthy or attractive.

Your eyes grew bolder as you watched his broad chest rise and fall with the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing. Trickles of sweat rolled down from the glorious hollow of his throat, down the center of his chest, leaving you to marvel, slack-mouthed. Strange’s torso and arms were marked with the scars of many battles, making you want to worship each one in gratitude for the protection he provided the world by his sweat and blood and relentless dedication. As though caught on the edge of a knife, you could not turn away, even as you fretted that somehow he could feel your furtive glances, and how each one lingered longer then the last. Something needed to snap the fascination that held you in place.

The sauna was set apart from the main buildings of the compound and had been built well before electricity was a common thing in Kathmandu--and thus it remained candle lit, as though it were as timeless as the ancient wisdoms taught in Kamar-Taj. The low light was relaxing and cozy, and so you had missed, at first, a number of dark markings on Strange’s flesh. Suddenly realizing what they were, you narrowed your eyes to try and make out the largest of the images and writing, tattooed upon his left pectoralis major. Your eyes widened and you gave an audible gasp. A small flock of blue butterflies (it’s called a kaleidoscope, you remembered vaguely; a kaleidoscope of butterflies) flew above the name Donna, and underneath it read in a calligraphy-like script ‘gone too soon. forever loved’.

For a moment you thought she must be a lover he had tragically lost (giving you the fleeting notion that he would understand the grief that lived quietly inside you ), and you envied that his devotion had extended to marking his skin as a memorial to her. But then some instinct whispered it might not necessarily be so.

You mouthed the words inscribed upon his firm, delicious flesh, filled with wonder at this sign of Strange’s life outside the mystic world that was now home to you both--unaware that he had finally caught you out. His rich, tired baritone broke through your reverie. “She was my sister...” he revealed quietly, trailing off until your eyes sought his. The sorrow you saw there felt like to crack your heart in two for his sake. Perhaps he discerned your softness for him, and your immediate empathy, for he quietly continued, “She drowned on a beautiful, late summer day in one of the Finger Lakes in Nebraska. She went under the water while I was having a beer on the shore with a couple of my friends.” His mesmerizing, blue-green eyes had filled with tears--shocking you, and weakening you as well, for who could imagine the Sorcerer Supreme being subject to the grief of ordinary mortals? “She called out to me as she struggled--it was a cramp, a strong one to take her that way, because she was always an excellent swimmer.” 

You felt breathless and your tears fell unabashed at the grief that rolled off of him in waves, and without conscious choice you moved to sit at his side, taking one of his strong, scarred hands in both of your trembling ones. “I swam out as fast as I could, but I didn’t reach her in time. All I could do was bring her back to shore and try my damnedest to resuscitate her.” His voice cracked, and a single tear traced the beautiful curve of his cheek, “But obviously, I failed...”

No; no, not at all, you thought, and then your honest sentiment bubbled forth. “I’m sure you did your absolute best, Doctor Strange. But sometimes…” you paused, remembering your Ethan’s face as he bled out on the sidewalk in front of your apartment building. He’d been hit by a random gunshot meant for someone two streets over, but the thugs in the car that had fired it had gotten the address wrong. You had striped off your blazer to apply pressure to his wound, while dialing 911 with your free hand, watching as the color drained from him face and his last words were to whisper ‘what was that, Y/N’ before he grew forever still. The paramedics had found you that same way, holding your blood soaked blazer to his chest, and begging him not to leave you.

Strange was watching you carefully, intuiting from your expression and sudden silence, that you were lost in a painful recollection. “Sometimes?” he softly urged you back to the present, his voice deep, gentle, soothing. How could just a single word from his lips soothe you so? If you were blessed, some day you might have the chance to figure it out. But for now, he waited upon the wisdom you had wanted to offer his grief.

“Sometimes the universe has other plans. Plans set in stone. They test our mettle, to see what we’re worth.” Your voice quavered, but you mastered that with growing confidence, determined to acquit yourself well before the Sorcerer Supreme this hour. “And we must rise to that challenge if we wish to honor the memory of the ones we lost.”

The left side of his mouth lifted slightly—precursor of the smile you had adored from afar for months. “I don’t think you learned this wisdom in Kamar-Taj, did you Adept Y/N?” Your name! Somehow this beautiful, grieving man knew your name. How was this even possible?

You lowered your eyes, unable to answer for the lump in your throat, so that he patted your hands with his free one. “I suppose you’ve lost someone very dear to you, too,” he murmured, and you could only nod. “Grief marks us and molds us—and you’re right. We rise above it. We have to, don’t we…”

“Yes,” you managed.

“…if we’re to honor the ones…”

You raised your shining eyes to his, and finished with him, “…the ones who’ve gone before their time.”

Strange gave a wee shake of his head and pursed his lips in an almost amused smile. “How about we both get cleaned up and head over to the dining hall? Perhaps there's wisdom we can trade...and at least we can talk about the ones we love with someone who understands."

A look of mischief transformed his face to that of the innocent young man he must've been before his sister's death. "I have it on the best authority they’ve got a fresh batch of honey cakes coming out of the ovens soon. If we time it right, we can be the first to filch as many as we want…”

Your smile was honest and for the first time you didn’t feel like a fool, but almost like a friend to him. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, Doctor…

“Stephen, please,” he insisted, “It’s off hours and we needn’t be so formal, right?”

You nodded as he pulled you to your feet. “Ten minutes be enough to get dressed? We need to get there while the getting’s good.”

“Ten minutes is perfect…exactly what I need,” you answered, finally daring what you had always thought of as purely impossible, “Stephen.”  

I seriously hadn’t planned to make it so angsty, but stuff happens, right? The MCU version of Donna’s death is not completely Marvel Comics canon, and as Defender Strange inhabits an AU, it stands to reason the story of her drowning could deviate for ‘our ’Stephen’s experience. That's my story, anyway...and I'm sticking to it.😉

tagging, because the thirst for Stephen's Variants is real: @valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn @ben-locked @starkiller-queen @aeterna-auroral-avenger

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[myreygn]

That game of yours sounds like soooo much fuuun~ ♥️ if it's okay could I request 95 and one of my current obsessions UshiDai? If your not cool with that pairing than maybe MatsuIwa? And if you're not cool with that one either maybeeeee IwaOi? Hehe I hope this is not too troublesome, thank you~

an: okay so TECHNICALLY ushijima is on my list of characters i don't write for and i was just about to go with matsuiwa, but then i got an idea and i think it worked out just fine haha maybe it's time i try some new things - this was honestly so much fun!

warnings: gang/outlaw au, mentioned character death

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95 - ZITTI E BUONI by Måneskin

(translation to english)

If you told him two years ago that Wakatoshi would be running from the cops with the boss of a rival gang, he would've laughed. (And that means a lot, because he rarely ever smiles, let alone laughs.)

But here he is, on the top of a shed, pulling up Sawamura so they can escape through the garden of the family living in this house. At least Wakatoshi assumes that it's a family, judging by the bikes and footballs lying around on the grass. Then there's a gunshot and he realizes that he doesn't have the time to think about bikes and balls and families. (Although he feels a little bad for this one when they trample through their vegetable garden.)

"Stop dreaming!" Sawamura shouts and grabs him by the wrist, pulling him over to the fence. Wakatoshi does as he's told, despite not being the type to take orders, and jumps, lands, tumbles, runs. Soon the wailing of the sirens dies down behind them and they stop to catch a breath.

"Man, that was close." Sawamura laughs and Wakatoshi thinks that it's beautiful how he can have so much fun with something so dangerous. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good." The last person to ask him if he was okay was Tendou, half an eternity ago, before he got a bullet in the chest. It feels strangely good to have someone care for him again. (No one cares for gang bosses, and especially not the ones from high class elite gangs, the once who usually blackmail the cops instead of running away from them.)

"That must've been totally new for you, hm?" Sawamura smirks, opening the door of his hideout and letting Wakatoshi in. "I bet you never had to run from anyone before."

"I won't go against that." The sofa is old and dusty, but unlike the sofas in their own HQ, it does look like home rather than the waiting room of a dentist's office.

"Were you scared?"

"A little, maybe."

"First time is always scary. By now, we know where to go and where to hide. There are certain places cops can't follow."

There are very, very few people who Wakatoshi takes advice from, but he's able to acknowledge when it's necessary. Sawamura is definitely more skilled when it comes to running away than he is.

"Thank you for showing me how to do it."

"Don't mention it." Sawamura winks at him and it makes warmth spreads in Wakatoshi's chest. "It was a real controversy, but I don't think these things should be reserved for Karasuno only."

"But… these are your ways, right? I kind of understand why your friends wouldn't want me to know about them."

"Yeah, but sometimes it's good to let someone new walk your ways. They might find a shortcut you were unable to see, because you were too focused on what was already there."

Sawamura Daichi is a wise man, which is something Wakatoshi has been aware of before, but learns to appreciate anew every single day." You're probably right."

"Of course I am!" and then Sawamura steals a quick kiss from him, as if it's the most normal thing to do.

Maybe for him, it is. There's freedom in the Karasuno ways, freedom to do and take whatever you want whenever you want, freedom to fall out of line and be wild, be rebellious, be out of the box. A freedom Wakatoshi isn't used to yet, but if it means that Sawamura will be there along this new way they choose together, he thinks that maybe, someday, he could be.

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send numbers!

[luciferloveschloe]

goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

[universalistotalis]

Someday

Miya Osamu x Female Reader

Fluff fluff fluff to a little angst

Mention of Mommy Miya and Atsumu lol

2.9k words

Masterlist!!!

You wiped the sleep from your eyes as you were woken up by one of your family members who sat beside you on the bus. People queued in line to exit the vehicle that’s stopped in front of the airport and you can hear the soft chattering of the passengers as they lined up the aisle.

It feels sad really. To be leaving a country that you’ve explored for days on end, enjoying the culture, the view, the food, and all the little details in between. You wrapped the jacket more to your figure as the cold and the sadness crept into you. You welcomed the feelings though, because it meant that you had such a wonderful time that you didn’t want to let go.

Blinding lights made your eyes squint as all of you entered the gigantic airport. ‘Here we are’, you said to yourself. The busy goers walked and jogged past you here and there, some were loading heavy bags trolleys, some were panicking while looking at the schedule, and some were just chilling at the aligned chairs, sipping a cup of coffee.

“So, we’ll go check- in on our flight and we’ll go to the duty- free shop for souvenirs. All right?” You just nodded at their plan because they’ve been repeating that ever since you went out the hotel room where you stayed.

-

As you had hoped, the duty free shop was so full of things that you wanted. Just packed with all the goodies like the country's famous snacks, the foreign cosmetics that you adored, and even the cool relief patches that you tried and were so amazed at. Good thing you were given enough money to purge on what you wanted so you filled an entire basket! After all, you never know when you can come back to this country again.

“Excuse me.” Someone from behind you cleared his throat.

You were busy looking at the label of one of the beauty products from the shelf that you didn’t notice that you were blocking the narrow column.

“Oh sorry.” You apologized and scooted a little so that the person could pass. You turned to see the man and your whole body froze for a millisecond at the sight. The air felt electric all of the sudden as your gazes fixed on each other. He was the first one to look away and go on his way normally, as if not feeling the surge of adrenaline that you just felt.

“Damn, he’s beautiful.” You whispered. You swore you have never seen someone that beautiful in your entire life... EVER! And it wasn’t helping that his body was so built and tall and that his hair had this ombre gray color going on. No one’s supposed to look good with that hair color but why did he pull it off?! How?!

“Samu! I found your favorite cookies from yesterday!” An loud, excited voice made you jump from behind and you turned around in reflex. You saw the beautiful man earlier, standing at the end of the aisle and examining the pack in his hands while nodding. “I told you we could find it here! C’mon, let’s get more!” A tall blonde man next to him said while dragging him away.

You blinked, trying to process what you saw. Wow.

That’s it! Some people are just god’s favorites, aren’t they? You thought you were having issues with your vision but it was clear that there is not only one beautiful man. But TWO! He has a twin and good god, they were both so fit!

‘Does this store have a sale on these guys because I would like to purchase, please!’ You just chuckled at your crazy, thirsty thoughts and proceeded to checking out the things you bought.

-

They never left your mind. There were still five hours to spare before your flight but not once did they, especially he, stop running in your head! You scolded yourself one too many times this past hour because of the scenarios flooding in. There were date nights, traveling to different countries, petty fight scenes, cute nicknames, and all the sappy shit that couples do and say. You’re just hurting yourself really, and you had to stop!

The gods just wanted you to have a good one minute of your life and that’s it. You’ll never see him again!

You sighed and excused yourself to get a beverage that’ll quench your thirst from so much daydreaming. The nearest vending machine that you saw was at the other waiting area so you had to walk a little bit further. Your eyes were already set on the juice drink once you neared the machine.

“Hey, y/n!” You looked up questioningly as you saw your family waving and approaching you. “Let’s stay here a bit. People are beginning to flock there and I don’t like it. Besides, we can see if they’re already boarding from here.”

“Alright.” You agreed. “You want anything from the vendo?”

“Anything that you’ll have please.”

-

You sealed the top cap of the bottle mindlessly while staring blankly at the the vending machine. Your fingers were a little numb from the cold drink but you didn’t mind. You allowed yourself to be overly emotional at the thought of ending the vacation and of not having the boy you swore would be perfect for you. How could a single meeting that lasted for seconds affect you so much?! A small, sad chuckle left your lips because you knew you were so damn whipped but that didn’t really matter now.

-

“You’re so damn whipped, man! What, you’ve known her for like five seconds and now you think you’re in love with her?” Atsumu hissed, looking at his brother like he had grown two heads.

“Shut yer trap, Tsumu.” Osamu snapped out of his daydream once his brother’s voice penetrated the peaceful area.

“Then stop staring!” Atsumu laughed and shook his head. He took a glimpse of the person behind him to check the girl out and he had to admit, you were pretty even in your simple clothes.

“Hey.” Osamu called, a hint of warning laced in his deep voice.

“What, I wasn’t looking!" Atsumu dramatically puts his hand up in the air. "Stop being possessive of your five- second girlfriend, sheesh!” He teased more as he was met by the scowling face of his twin.

“I’m not in love with her.” Osamu scowled and folded his hands together like a toddler.

Atsumu was trying so hard not to laugh at his state and denial. “Look, Samu. We practically came from the same cell, you don’t have to lie to me. If it makes you feel better, we’ll reduce it to a crush. Now, how does that sound?”

Osamu rolled his eyes but he knew Tsumu was right. When he saw your eyes from the store, he felt a prickling sensation in his whole body that it shocked him a little. He swore all the hairs on his skin stood up at the encounter and that was the first time he ever felt that way! And what are the odds that you came to sit on their waiting area, giving him such a good view?

“Honestly, bro. You’re being creepy.” Osamu massaged the bridge of his nose in despair as his twin clicked his tongue in judgment.

“And you’re being annoying.” He countered.

“Cool down! Why don’t you go get us a drink then?” Atsumu smirked and challenged.

“Get your own damn dr—“

“That would be great, honey! Can you please get me water too? I’m getting a little thirsty from waiting.” They both whipped their heads at their mother who was smiling so sweetly and both melted at the sight.

“Okay.” They said in unison and got to their feet in a flash.

“‘Kay, here’s the plan.” Atsumu announced while acting like he’s warming up for a game.

“What plan? We’re just getting drinks?!” Osamu regarded him questioningly.

“We are just getting drinks but the vendo’s in front of your girlfriend, dummy!”

“Shit!” Osamu's eyes widened as he cursed. He hated that Atsumu was making sense. They do need a plan!

“It’s so hard to be the smart brother. I gotta do all the work!” Atsumu sighed dramatically earning himself another eye roll. “So, the plan is…” He paused for a while, trying to get his brother’s attention.

“What?! What do we do?” Osamu's patience was on thin ice and his frustrating brother is not helping one bit!

“Wow, you’re really trusting me on this, huh?” Atsumu stared at him in wonder. “Damn, what did that girl do to you?”

“God fuckin’ dammit, Tsumu, you’re wasting time!” Osamu strangled and shook him lightly. The other just laughed his ass off while trying to break free.

“Boys.” The warning tone and stoic gaze from their mother were enough to make their way to you. To the vending machine, that is…

“I’ll stay here, lover boy.” Atsumu patted Osamu’s back as they neared the destination which was just meters away from their seat.

“Wait, what? No—"

“Don’t be scared, you dummy. You can do it!” Blonde hair swayed in front of Osamu’s face as Atsumu danced a little cheering dance for him. “I’ll have cola, by the way. Now, go!”

Osamu tripped a little as his back was pushed but he didn’t seem to care as he was nearing your crouching form. You were just so damned focused on that phone that you didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Okay, we're just going to go through this like a normal person, Samu. No big deal." He whispered to himself.

“Y/n.” One of the persons beside you called. “I want the juice again pleaaaase.”

He saw your head perk up and was stunned when you laughed at their plea. “Alright, alright! Same flavor?”

Osamu didn’t realize that he was nearing the vending machine the same time as you were as he was so distracted by your charm. So your name was y/n and you had such a cute voice. And definitely a cute smile. Somehow, that was enough to make his imagination run wild!

It all happened so fast and you became aware of his presence a little too late. All you knew was that there was suddenly a looming figure on your left and you jumped in surprise, not meaning to.

“S-sorry.” He stuttered, a little surprised at your reaction too.

“No, no, it’s okay.” You smiled and bowed your head politely at him, praying to all the gods that he doesn’t see you blushing nor hear the heartbeat from your chest. “You go first.”

He blinked and looked down at you questioningly but he declined gently. “No, no. I can wait. Ladies first.” He gestured and stepped aside.

“Alright.” You smiled again.

Your mind was going a hundred miles per hour! You never thought that going to vending machine would be the hardest endeavor of your life! With hands shaking slightly, you inserted the coins until they reached the exact amount of the drink that you wanted and you pressed on the button that suddenly lit up.

A sense of dread flooded your being because that was it. After you press the button, you’re going to go back to your normal life. You were going to turn around and leave and never see that face again.

But as you stood there, you wondered why there wasn’t that familiar sound of the bottle dropping for you to claim?

“That’s weird.” You whispered and crinkled your nose. Your finger pressed the button again... and again, hoping that it result to something but to no avail.

“Is it broken?” His voice echoed the question in your head.

“I don’t think so.” You pouted a little. “I was able to get the same drink a while ago.”

Both of you just stared at it for it moment.

“Kick it.” He suggested, while putting his hands in both of his pockets and cooly transferring his weight on the right side.

“What?” You asked, horrified.

You were flashed with his laughing grin and crinkling eyes. “No harm in trying. C’mon!” He encouraged.

“If I get in trouble, you’re going down with me.” You warned but then you took him up on his challenge and kicked the bottom of the huge metal.

And truthfully so, the bottle dropped.

He crouched down and fetched the cold drink in his hand while still grinning like a fox. “Okay, I didn’t think you’d actually do it but here you go.” His voice was so heavenly to hear especially when it was still alight with humor. His eyes looked at you so sweetly that you were effectively just stuck there, under his spell.

“Thanks.” You chuckled and took what he was holding out. At the touch of your skin, the both of you jumped at the sudden and strong electricity that coursed through your veins. It was the same thing you both felt at the store but this time, it was stronger!

“Woah.” He said in awe. “I—"

You rubbed the back of your hand as if it stung and gazed up at him to take a good look. He had kind, brown eyes below his bushy eyebrows and thick, plump lips below his pointed nose. His cheeks were dusted pink which was cute. But his jawline contrasted as it was ready to cut your heart open. His gray hair was tousled too which matched his cool look and outfit of dark blue jeans, white shirt, and a leather jacket.

“T-thanks for this, again.” You stuttered. “I gotta go now.”

“N-no, wait.” He stuttered as well while instinctively pulling your sleeve by the hem. Another surge of lightning shot through you but you managed to smile back at him.

“Yeah?”

“W-what if it doesn’t work on me?” He said, sheepishly. “I need your kicks.”

For the first time since you met him, you started to relax so you let out a hearty laugh. “Okay, I’ll be right here.”

Osamu smiled gratefully at you before turning back and loading his coins. His ears rang at your words, ‘I’ll be right here’. He hoped you would be for a long time but that’s just wishful thinking.

One… Two… Three… Four…

“Wow, how many would you take?” Your amused voice made him grin again.

“It’s for the whole family.” He shrugged and crouched for the fourth time to get the drink. “This would be the last.”

“Good thing it didn’t break!” You said and again you were met by the awkward silence and him just staring. “Uhmm…”

“I’m Osamu, by the way.” He blurted out suddenly. “Miya Osamu.”

He tried his best to hold all the four drinks in one arm and extended one out to you.

“Oh… uhm…” Fuck.

“Uhm?” He laughed, still waiting for your introduction… desperate for it, really.

“Y/n L/n.” Warmth spread from your hands to your body as you held his and squeezed lightly. “It’s nice to meet you, Osamu.”

“Nice to meet you too.” He continued to shake your hand, not breaking eye contact. “Really nice.”

You laugh at the awkwardness but it seems like both of you don’t mind. You just want to prolong this interaction of yours and without you knowing, he was doing the same.

“Thank you for waiting. Flight QR 1008 is now accepting passengers on board.”

Osamu’s world crashed as the announcement continued. That was his cue to leave. He didn’t want to let your hand go so he tightened his grip more.

“That’s our flight.” He whispered and smiled sadly at you.

You nodded as your heart shattered in pieces. “Have a safe flight, Osamu. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Same here.” He replied, slowly letting go of your hand. “You take care and try not to break vending machines next time.”

A laugh bubbled inside your chest as he stepped back in agonizing slowness. “I’ll try.”

“Bye, y/n.” He waved and walked back to his brother who you saw patted him on the back.

“Do you know the guy?” You were asked when you went back to the seats.

“No, I just met him.” How you wish you knew him more.

“Well, he’s such a hunk, isn’t he?” They teased but you just laughed and shrugged it off.

You’re going to suffer this heartache for a while.

On the other end, Osamu carried his backpack over his shoulder, looking like he’s carrying the weight of the world.

“Hey.” Atsumu wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “You alright?”

“It’s gonna take a while.” He grumbled.

Atsumu nodded in understanding and tightened his grip on his brother for support. “It’ll be fine, Samu.”

And before they could enter the boarding gate leading to the plane, a surge of courage ran through Osamu’s body. All he knew was that he just had to do it or regret it forever. It's worth the risk!

“Hey y/n!” He shouted, jogging his way to you when they neared the entrance doors.

You were stunned at the mere mention of your name from a baritone voice. The grip of two hands followed and they were heavy on your shoulders.

“Let’s meet again, yeah?” Osamu asked you, full of hope in his eyes. “Someday.”

You nodded your head and smiled. You love that idea. “Someday.”

With that, he waved his final good bye, bowed at your family, and left.

All was well but you never saw each other again.

---

Masterlist!!! Read more here hehehe

I actually enjoyed writing this so much hahaha I'm in love with the twin's tandem and their constant witty comebacks and bickering! I also miss going to airports and travelling and spotting eye candies outside... TAKE ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE PLEASE!

Anw, Hope you're all doing great. Stay safe!

Reblogs are appreciated! <3

[violets-page]

Shot Down |R.R.|

MASTERLIST

A/N: This was my first request and I was so excited! Hope you enjoy <3

The 100, Raven x fem reader? If your kay with it maybe where reader and Raven are in a relationship and had an argument but then the Murphy situation happens in the dropship so the reader helps raven out and when shots happen the reader protects Raven?

You loved Raven, truly. In fact, you loved her more than you thought your heart was capable of. But you couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t really over Finn. You saw the way she looked at him when he and Clarke were together. You saw the pain of losing your first love and the crushing weight of having to watch him happy without her. No matter how many times she smiled and told you she was ‘so over him’ , you couldn't help but notice how her gaze always lingered on him for a second longer.

When Raven crashed to earth only to have her heartbroken you were there to comfort her. Brought together by her tech-savvy ways and your creative ideas the two of you spent countless days together, thinking up and prototyping weapons. And when night time crept up, throwing darkness onto all those below her, She’d creeped into your bed shuffling blankets to make room on your lap for her head. You’d play with her hair and hum her to sleep as she cried on your lap over a boy who didn’t deserve her.

As you two had grown close an unspoken thing rose between you.

Little kisses through the day, always over before you could move towards her. Cuddling into her bed at night, warm bodies pressed against each other as you fell asleep to the lullaby of her beating heart. Makeout sessions in the forest when no one was around but the trees and birds and all of earth's problems melted away when her hands were in your hair and her lips planted on yours.

Raven hadn’t been one much for public PDA and for a while you thought that was just how she was. It never really bothered you, so what if she didn't feel like sharing your intimate moments in front of a group of immature strangers.

That was until Finn approached you and asked if you knew what boy she was seeing.

*    *   *   *   *   *   *   *

You rolled your eyes as Finn sauntered toward you.

“Hey.” his voice sounded exhausted. Much like everyone's did nowadays.

His hands were shoved in his pockets and he glanced around as if searching for someone. With all that you knew about Finn, you had never actually spoken to him. In fact, you actively avoided him. Desperate not to give off the impression that you were willing to talk to him you let out a hum of acknowledgment.

“I'm worried about Raven.”

Your eyes shot up to meet him. He had no right to worry about her, anything worry-worthy had been his fault. You bit back all the lectures and insults you'd thought you'd say to him someday, the ones you thought up while wiping tears with your shirt sleeve.

“Why.”

“I heard her talking to Octavia the other day about a guy she was seeing. I don’t think she knew I was there but..” he sighed, his hand going in towards his greasy hair as you tried not to grimace at its look.

“None of the guys here are good for her.”

Yeah, none of the guys.

You shoot him a frown and bit back your laugh. “No, but if she was seeing someone how would I be able to tell?”

“Well, when we were together she was always very affectionate. Holding hands in public and kisses all the time. She’s really big on PDA. Ya know?”

You didn't know.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

You held in your emotions for a few days, desperately trying not to let his ridiculous words get to you. But you couldn't help it as you drifted away from Raven. Every time you were together your mind drifted to her and Finn on the ark, holding hands and kissing in the halls where anyone could see. Your mind soaked up awful thoughts until you felt your heart might just explode.

This led to you storming into her tent in a fit of anger. You waved your hands furiously through the air as you told her about the conversation you'd had with Finn.

“I know you're not over Finn, and I know you're just using me to get over him but you don't want him to know about it in case he wants you back. I won't be your safety guard to fall back on until you're ready to get up and walk away!”

“What? That’s not what’s going on at all.”

“Oh yeah, cause it sure as hell seems like every time we’re out you want nothing to do with me. You won't even hold my hand outside this tent much less kiss me.”

“Y/n listen to me!”

“No, I’m so sick of this shit”

You loved her but you weren’t going to sit and watch her fawn over her asshole ex.

When the yelling had gotten too much for you to handle you stormed out of the tent, sweat running down your back from the hot weather and your bubbling anger. You hate how it felt and how it reminded you of stupid Finn and his stupid greasy hair. You remembered a stream you had seen on one of your forest explorations with Raven.

Raven. Raven. Raven.

You hated how even when you were mad and anger flowed through your veins, you couldn’t escape the thoughts of her. You needed to get out.

The stream was probably a 20-minute walk from camp. You knew the woods weren’t safe but you couldn’t stand being cooped up in camp for a second longer. You took one of Ravens’ guns with you, just in case.

When you reached the steam you glanced around before stripping. The woods were hauntingly beautiful, but every time you looked at them all you could see was Raven. Her back pressed against the trees as her fingers weaved knots in your hair. Your fingers slipping under her shirt exploring the curves of her hips. Her lips against yours, silent gasps for air interrupting the rustling of leaves.

You wadded into the water as if it could wash the thoughts from your mind. The water was like ice and only reached enough to go a little over your knees. The light breeze made goosebumps peak from your skin as the water suddenly seemed much warmer. You squatted down, the algae rocks tickling your toes. Splashing your face with the cool water, you scrubbed it, thankful to get rid of the sticky sweat that had built up over the weeks you’d been on earth. You took a deep breath and tried to relax your muscles.

As you sat in the water you thought about everything that’s been going on. More specifically everything going on with Raven. You hadn’t even let Raven explain herself before you stormed out. Your quick temper was always your biggest problem. Hell, it's how you ended up down here in the first palace. Guilt was a sickly feeling, it nestled into your stomach and made you feel like a monster.

Suddenly the woods felt too empty, The river too dirty and everything too loud. You felt loneliness fill your heart, its claws creeping their way up as you choked back sobs. As Raven's face once again visited your memory you decided it was best to get back and apologize before the sun disappeared and sleep took your lover.

As you got closer to camp you took note of the eerie silence, a major contrast from the usual laughs and shouts that filled the camp. Walking in you saw why. Everyone was crowded around the dropship. Most people looked indifferent or only had slight concern etched across their faces. That was until you came across Octavia standing at the front.

She looked as if she would just about pass out. Fear covered her whole face as she tapped her foot impatiently. A walkie-talkie clenched tightly in her hand as her teeth pulled tightly against her bleeding lip.

“What’s going on”

Without her eyes ever leaving the doors of the drop ship she answered you.

“Murphys got Bellamy trapped inside. I- I think he’s going to kill him. Jaspers under the ship trying to get him out.”

You surveyed the crowds trying to find Raven but nowhere was the girl donning the red puffer jacket anywhere to be seen.

“Where's Raven?”

Octavia’s eyes flickered to you for only a moment before returning to the dropship. But with that one look, you knew she didn’t want to tell you.

“Octavia, where is she.” You moved in front of her, blocking her view of the dropship. Annoyance flashed across her features but it quickly vanished.

She sighed “She's under there helping Jasper but-”

That was all you needed to hear before you turned around and headed toward the dropship. Before you could make it two steps Octavia had grabbed your arm and pulled you back. You considered pulling your arm out of hers or even pushing her down so she would let you go. But the girl had a grip like iron and an attitude to match.

“She’s got this. By going in there you could mess up everything. Just trust her. Okay?”

You nodded and stayed put. But her words did nothing to ease the fear that washed over you like a tsunami, drowning you.

A gunshot rang through the air and Octavia’s grip on your arm tightened. One part in an effort to reassure herself and another part to keep you put.

You weren’t super religious but at that moment you begged whoever -if anyone- above to make sure Raven came out of this alive and unharmed.

Minutes seemed like hours until finally a familiar mop of brown hair appeared from beneath the dropship. You felt every muscle in your body relax and the headache that you hadn't even noticed disband.

You shrugged out of Octavia’s grasp and ran to Jasper quickly engulfing him in a hug. His arms hung limp at his sides and you could see his anxiety written across his face. But at least they were okay.

“Oh thank god”

You peered behind him, expecting to see Raven, but no one was there.

As if sensing your unspoken question he spoke,

“She’s still in the dropship. She-”

But you were already gone.

As you squirmed your way through the complicated working of the dropship you spotted the brunette. Your lungs filled with air and the knot in your chest eased. She was okay.

“Raven ..”

She jumped at your sudden appearance and something within the circuit she was working on sparked. She let out a slight scream as the sparks burnt the tips of her fingers.

You both looked up as the noises from above ceased

And then came the gunshots.

After the first one, you dived over her without a second thought, knocking you both to the ground. You heard her head hit the ground with a loud thunk as the air left her lungs. You covered her body with yours tucking your head into her neck as you covered her face with your hands. You breathed in her scent as bullets rained down on you. You could feel her heart's erratic beating against your chest. It felt like forever until they finally stopped.

When they did Raven wasted no time moving you off of her and getting back to the control panel, finishing what she started.

You however couldn’t move.  

Damn adrenaline.

You took a few deep breaths and calmed your heart as much as you possibly could. You tightened your muscles in an attempt to sit up, the same way you've sat up your entire life. Except for this time, your muscles wouldn’t tighten. It was as if they had stopped working entirely.

“Raven “ you called out to her. You were terrified, your heartbeat so loudly you could feel it in your eardrums. She was too focused on finishing the control panel to hear you. Finally, she got it, shooting you one of those proud smiles you always loved. It quickly dissolved when she saw the fear on your face as tears streamed down from your eyes.

“I can’t move. Oh god. Oh my god. “ Your tears turned to sobs as your body shook. She was by your side in a second as she quickly took to examining your body.

“I can’t find a wound.”

“Please, please, please Raven.” She had no idea what to do but couldn’t bear to watch you break to pieces in her arms.

Slowly she moved you so you were sitting up, and although it took a while she was able to get you up and onto her back.

A bang sounded from above and the whole room shook. Her hand slipped from its grip on your thigh but she quickly managed to catch it.

She held your legs as you wrapped your arms around her neck. Although your cries were no longer audible she felt you shake against her back as warm tears splashed her shoulder.

Before she even got into the camp she was yelling.

“WHERE'S CLARKE. SOMEBODY GET CLARKE.” the blonde rushed to her side, a sharp intake escaping when she saw you.

“She says she can’t move. Murphy shot her. I couldn’t find the wound but I don’t know.” She tried desperately not to cry.

Not now.  Raven thought.  Not when she's breaking.

She carried you into the dropship, laying you carefully down on the table. It took a while but Clarke finally made it in to help.

After sanitizing her hands with what was left of the alcohol she looked at Raven. They both knew this wasn’t going to be good.

“I need to get the bullet out. Can you distract her?”

Raven nodded and held your hand tighter. You could feel her warm palm against hers, the only thing keeping you from falling apart in a fit of hysterics. That was about the only thing you could feel. Everything below your chest was dead weight.

“Remember how you thought I wasn’t showing you public affection because I still had feelings for Finn?” Clarke risked a quick glance at the girls before resuming her work.

You felt her fingers enter the wound in your back and let out a scream.

“Is now really the best time to talk about this” you tried to say between screams and grunts. She nodded, a determined look on her face.

“That’s not why.”

“Okay..” you urged her to go on so you could focus on her voice instead of the fingers probing around underneath your skin.

“No one knows that I am ya know,” although she didn't make a show of it you knew Clarke was listening.

“And I guess I was just- am just, afraid of the way people might look at me.” the raw emotion on her face almost made you forget what was happening.  Almost.

You screamed again as Clarke’s fingers exited the wound.

“Got it. Now comes the painful part” You looked at her in horror.

She turned your head away so that you were once again looking at Raven. The brunette couldn't hide the horror that flashed across her face at whatever Clarke was doing behind you.

“Trust me, it’s best not to watch this part.”

Raven almost couldn’t handle the look of fear on your face. She wanted to wrap you up in her arms and keep you safe and away from this cruel world. She laced her finger between yours, light kisses against the back of your hand in an attempt to calm your pounding heart and shaky breaths.

Clarke handed her a cloth for you to bite on. It would stop you from breaking your own teeth is what she had said.

Raven squeezed your hand in reassurance and placed a gentle kiss on your head as you let out a ground trembling scream. She felt her heart fall to pieces at the sound. The world around you disappeared as you tried desperately to focus on Raven instead of the hot metal searing your flesh.

And then-

It was over.

You just lay there, studying Raven. Her lower lip was redder than the top one due to her gnawing on it anxiously. Her eyelashes were long and cast delicate shadows across her high cheekbones. Her jawline was sharp and unmoving. Skin pulled tight in a frown of worry. The whole thing had taken a toll on you. But you refused to let yourself fall asleep.

“Raven, I’m so sorry.”

She let out a sad laugh as tears started forming in her eyes

“Never do that again.”  She wanted to scream at you. She wanted to hit you and yell at you for being so stupid. For putting her life above yours and trying to be the hero. But she knew you wouldn’t be able to handle that. Not today at least.

Your eyelids were so heavy. You decided you would just close them, not sleep.

As your eyes fluttered closed Raven turned to Clarke.

Is she going to be okay?

“Yes, but…”

“But what”

“She suffered a slight spinal cord injury. I don’t know how bad it is. She might be able to walk again in six months or a year or possibly never.”

As you heard these words your mind drifted as the welcoming arms of sleep embraced you.

As longs as Raven is okay,

I can handle it.

Pt.2

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

The Princess who became a swan pt2

You had a look of displeasure as you were forced to sit on Kars lap as he stroked your hair while reading a book. Occasionally you would shift your leg only to hear the chains rattle.

“Dear swan, are you so eager to leave the nest?” Kars asked in his usual condescending tone. You merely huffed as you sat on the cold marble floor.

“Are you mad about the cage? I can assure you that it’s for your safety, I can’t have you nearly killed again” he cooed as he reached for your shoulder only to have you slap it.

“Sometimes in hindsight I think to myself that maybe I should have let him kill me, I’d have rather that than have you degrade me further like this…” you spoke with venom in your words.

“I promise you I’ll leave someday… and I’ll never come back to this hell” you continued which he responded with a smirk.

“You really are such a brat, I offer you protection and heal your wound and you repay me by spitting it right back in my face” he spoke as he normally did, however the sudden tense atmosphere made you regret what you said.

“Even if you were to leave I know you’ll come back, where else do you have to go?” he chuckled as his crimson eyes pierced your soul.

“You have the stupidity to speak so venomously to me, yet you cower when I acknowledge your words” he continued before grabbing you from the back of your head.

“You really shouldn't keep trying to push me away, because if you do… then you’ll have no one”

🦢🦢🦢

For days and days Joseph couldn’t help but think about the maiden in the forest. He talked and talked about her refined features to his rivaling knight. As more days passed he heard talks between his Mother and various officials from kingdoms near and far in arrangement of a soiree and the mentioning of finding someone to marry him off to.

He knew in his heart that he had to find her again as he couldn’t bare the thought of another woman, so for many days and nights he searched the land in hopes to find her but with no luck of seeing the maiden in white he’d seen on that fateful night, perhaps she was a woman of the wind only to vanish and never return.

As the soiree approached his hopes grew less but he was too stubborn to give up anything he started.

🦢🦢🦢

You waited inside of a golden cage, shaking it as you flapped your wings in anger as you saw Kars return. If he had been a moment later your human form would have been mangled inside of it but he had no care for your wellbeing as you were merely a pet or at worst an object in his eyes.

“Oh I’m dearly sorry my swan, you must have been so restless for my return” he spoke as if he was making his words sound like some vague attempt at an apology. He finally opened the lock and let you free from your small cell into the bigger one you had been confined in for so long.

You looked back up at the moon through the window with a heavy heart as you returned to your human form. Then a bright idea sparked in your mind before you ran up to Kars and wrapped your arms around him, he was surprised but enjoyed the sudden affection.

“Oh yes I have my love... for I have realized how harsh I’ve treated you, my one and only” you spoke with crocodile tears in your eyes. He looked down on you and smiled but did not let his guard down as he was cautious of what malice intentions were hidden behind your teary eyes.

For days you held up your act as much as it sickened you deep down like a bitter poison. letting his hands touch you in a way that made your skin crawl as he wished and returning such words of affection that made you want to gag on them.

As you sat beside him letting his fingers brush through your hair while reading one of the many books in his collections you finally decided to fulfill your plans now that you were no longer in chains.

“I’m parched, do you want a cup of tea made while I make some for myself” you asked knowing that he hadn’t had a drink for quite some time.

“Yes my swan, I’d enjoy that” he replied, still paying attention to his book. You looked to the window and saw that it was not long to sunrise before heading to the kitchen and heating some water over a fire. You grabbed a pair of fine porcelain tea cups and placing them on a tray, you fiddled you hand in the pocket of your dress before grabbing a vial filled with a white powder and pouring it’s contents into one of the cups and in the other you added a teaspoon of dried petals from various flowers.

As the water had finished boiling you added the tea leaves to his cup. Adding the water you carefully stirred the sleeping powder into his drink, making sure the powder fully dissolved into the tea before adding the rest of the water into your cup. You returned to him with the tray in hand and placed it on the coffee table beside him. You picked up your cup and sat beside him.

As you let your tea cool in your hands you tried not to look at him, the anticipation was too much. You kept looking in the corner of your eye to take a sip.

“Why do you keep glancing at me like that?” he asked as he noticed your strange behaviour.

“I’m just a little anxious… It’ll be morning soon and you’ll probably throw me in that cage again…” you muttered before finally taking a sip of your tea.

“Perhaps I’ve been too harsh on you my swan, you’ve been so well behaved that I think it is only fair that you have the privilege to sleep beside me” he spoke as his fingers twirled the strands of your hair before taking a sip of tea. He noticed a bitterness on his palette as he drank it, he gave you a glance but spoke no more words.

Eventually he finished the cup and continued to read for a few minutes before he was overcome by sleep. You sat up and took a few soft steps before running as fast as you could to escape from his domain into the darkness of the last hours of night. Where heavy clouds passed through the tall, old trees. Thunder roared in the distance, warning those of it's fast journey forward towards them.

🦢🦢🦢

As morning arrived the rain pelted down against your wings unforgivingly as you tried to fly below the blackened clouds. You grew tired as you had flown for hours, yet your stomach ached knowing that you were still within Kars reach. By now he would have woken up and caught on to what you had pulled on him.

You found yourself succumbing to exhaustion, your body dipping lower as your eyelids grew heavy. You finally decided to take cover in the forest below. You found an old, hollowed tree and nested yourself inside it to take shelter while you regained your strength.

As you slept you dreamt of many fantasies both good and bad, your wishes of reuniting with your family came to fruition only to be snatched away by the nightmares of Kars tormenting you through your existence. The lines between dream and nightmare overlapped so many times that it became disorientating.

You heard an incoherent voice that aroused you from your deep slumber. You rubbed your eyes before opening them even then your vision was still a blur.

The first thing you noticed was the bright moon that made the figure in front of you a mere silhouette before your vision cleared enough to reveal the man who had shot you with the arrow.

You cowered back a bit in fear of the male, unintentionally letting out a squeak.

"Aww are you a scared little mouse" he snarky commented with a slight chuckle, loosely reminiscent of how Kars mocked you. Your expression turned sour as you looked at him, which made him avoid direct eye contact.

"Ok ok, I'm sorry… don't take it like that" he responded before holding out his hand to help you up.

"I was wondering what happened to you that other night, you were in a real hurry with that arrow in your arm" he said as he waited for you to take his hand, which you reluctantly did.

"You should at least say something, it's rude to not respond when a prince is talking to you" he commented as he didn't like it when others ignored him.

"At least give me your name" he continued as he pinched your cheek. You pulled away before you finally spoke.

"I don't want to tell you my name" you hissed in response. Sure it seemed harsh but if word were to spread about your emergence it would break your heart. You couldn't bring yourself to show yourself to your parents and explain what happened since your Disappearance, or the consequences that Kars would condemn you to.

In your thoughts Joseph could see your expression soften and reveal the sadness in your dazzling eyes. He pitied you for that, how such a beauty could wear such a morbid look was criminal.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when the male tapped the tip of your nose while exclaiming bop in a goofy manner.

You were taken back by his action, maybe just because you've been starved of touch from the others in the world. He laughed at your confused reaction.

“What’s so funny?” you asked him as you frowned. He chuckled as he ruffled your head.

“You’re really uptight for someone who hides out in the woods at night” he commented.

"Well I have my reasons" you sternly replied as you folded your arms.

"What, are you an escaped convict or something? Have you got a bunch of bandits hiding in the trees ready to strike me down" he mocked as he rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"I wish, all you need to know is that I'm a fugitive and I don't have a lot of time to waste dilly dallying with an egocentric jerk like you, now if you excuse me I have to get back on my journey" you explained through a clenched jaw as you tried to storm of only for him to grab your wrist.

"Aw come on, I didn't mean for you to get the wrong idea… if you need help I can give it to you, how about I take you back to my castle? I can make sure whatever you're trying to get away from doesn't find you" he offered but you shook your head profusely as you pulled your hand away from him.

"No, I can't… it's impossible" you replied abruptly.

"Why-" he was going to ask before you cut him off.

"Because I can't…" you said bluntly as you put your hands on your hips.

"Well whatever is going on with you I can Help… I promise you, just tell me what you want?" He said as looked at you with such a needy attitude.

"Perhaps you could bring me some food, it's rather hard forging in the woods" you said, when you offered an inch he took a mile.

"Of course I'll bring you some food, I'll bring you some every night" he offered before realising how late he'd been out.

"I should probably head back home now my swan, tomorrow I'll return" he said as he kissed you on the cheek before leaving you alone once more. He thought calling you his swan was endearing but it only made you since as it reminded you of who you had escaped.

He seemed absolutely infatuated with you. It clicked in your mind that maybe if you loosened up to him, maybe he would vow his love to you.

As written in Kars notes the victim must have another that is unaware of the curse proclaim their love to them and keep their promise til they wed. All you needed was to keep up the loving act until you married him and hide the curse.

[itcantbe]

whumptober day 1: bound

Heyyy it's Whumptober! I think I may have achieved four prompts but luckily day one is one of them! I at least completed the stories for this particular AU so I won't leave you hanging. You'll just have a bit of a wait in between. It will eventually show up on AO3 in some form or another. Be sure to check out all of the other quality material coming your way! I will be reblogging quite a bit.

Whumptober Day 1: Bound

False Champion AU (1 of 4) BOTW pre-calamity 644 words

It was a lie, and everyone believed it.

Link ground his teeth together, the sun glinting off the purple, winged hilt of the sword, sheathed in an ornate scabbard trimmed in gold, on the back of the man ahead of him. It seemed to mock him. It was just like his sword, wrapped in a blanket and stuffed under his bed in the barracks. The one he’d been told to hide, to pretend he didn’t have.

The Champion stood tall in front of him, casting Link in his shadow, resplendent in the blue tunic embroidered with the triforce and an outline of the sword. Embroidered by the princess’s own hand. Link felt like he was roasting alive in the heavy metal armor he wore, the rays of the sun baking down on him, the padded undergarments he wore soaked in sweat. Meanwhile the Champion was cool and comfortable by comparison, not encumbered by heavy armor, taking pride of place at the head of their troop, the sword and a shield bearing the royal crest on his back, the princess on his arm.

The Champion leaned down and murmured something into the princess’s ear, and she giggled and looked up at him, her big green eyes shining in adoration. Then, just for a moment, Zelda’s eyes cut to Link. A glance, out of the corner of her eye. Then back to the road ahead of her, as if he didn’t exist. Link thought he might throw up.

He remembered that first time he had seen her, when he’d finally gotten up the courage after three years to take the sword he’d found in the Lost Woods to the king. To finally admit it happened. Zelda had barely acknowledged him, sparing him only a glance, and yet he would have gladly cut his heart out and laid it at her feet. Love at first sight is such a weak and pathetic thing, and yet, another three years since that moment, Link still feels the sick longing for her that he did on that day. She would have to see him someday, wouldn’t she? They were destined to fight the calamity together, weren’t they?

“Princess! Champion! We welcome you to the garrison!”

The general bowed low, honored by the visit from his exalted guests, and the Champion solicitously guided the princess into the cool of the garrison. She paused to gaze up at him, a fond smile on her lips, before the door closed behind them. Link marched off with the rest of the company to the guest barracks, the bitter taste of road dust in his mouth.

Three years ago the king had looked at him, sword of legend in his hand, and had decided the kingdom required someone more inspiring to be the hero. Someone tall, handsome, of noble birth, wealthy and well-educated; not short and common like Link. But it would be the Champion at the princess’s side, someone worthy to take her hand. It was unfortunate that Link had snatched the sword from the pedestal before someone better could have come for it. He really should have minded his place before his thoughtless action brought ruin to the kingdom.

Of course, he had to follow the princess at all times, regardless. Link needed to be there, in case the calamity struck. Though he wasn’t sure how much good it would do with the sword wrapped up and hidden. Perhaps this all was to just teach him some kind of a lesson. After three years they were bound in the lie, wrapped tight in it like barbed wire, the sharp thorns digging into Link and keeping him in his place. The Champion has become too much of a fixture, the hopes of the kingdom pinned on his broad shoulders, hopes too fragile to risk with the truth.

It’s a lie, but everyone believes it.

[hxwkslove]

Escapade (Hawks x reader)

cw: mentions of nightmares

Restless

You were having a rough time sleeping, constantly moving around and changing positions in your shared bed. You struggled with nightmares, and the fear of them happening again strikes a feeling into your heart that causes your anxiety level to rise higher than normal.

Nighttime is scary, especially alone. It’s the time where all the shadows in the house morph into terrifying creatures.

Lucky for you, Keigo was able to gauge how you were feeling with ease. He felt you constantly moving around and assumed something was wrong.

“Are you feeling okay?” barely a whisper from his lips as he turned to hold your hands in his.

You were quiet for a little, still high off adrenaline that would not stop rushing through you.

“Yeah, just having a hard time sleeping, I’m terrified of nightmares happening again.” you laugh softly as you fidgeted with his hands.

There was a small silence while he was thinking.

“I have an idea,” he gently guided your face to look into your eyes.

His eyes remind you of honey, sweet and addicting once you get one glance. You’re addicted.

“I can call my sidekicks to take over tomorrow and we can go out. I don’t think you’re planning to go to sleep tonight, yeah?” he chuckled at you, low and baritone from lack of use.

He reminds you of space. Eyes so breathtaking that they could not possibly be of this world. Beautiful expressions, with such a relaxed smile you could drown in. A personality that is like the stars, warm, welcoming and so, so lovely. You could never get enough of him, so addicted like you could never get enough of. A feeling of wanting to know more about him, what his motives are, what he’s like with different emotions, but one thing is for certain. You love him with all your being and had so much of your heart to give to him.

You apologize for zoning out.

“That sounds great to me, what do you have in mind?” relief flooded your lungs, happy that you no longer have to have your mind plagued with thoughts of terrifying nightmares.

He puts his forehead on yours and smiles brighter than the sun.

You hope it never dims.

“We could go to the convenience store and get snacks and afterwards we could go to the park or the beach! Or I could take you and we could sit on the top of a tall building and look at the stars together!” he excitedly rambles as his hands fidget with yours and he looks deep into your eyes.

You smile.

“Let’s do it all! We have so much time Keigo!” you hasten to get out of the bed, nightmares temporarily forgotten with thoughts of spending time with your favorite person swirled in your mind.

“Well, someone’s excited!” He gets up after you and goes to get some clothes as well.

You guys stand next to each other at the beach and stare at the moonlight’s reflection in the water. Both of you were holding hands as you leaned into his warm body.

Keigo rants about his agency and rambles about how Tokoyami’s progress is improving.

You love listening to him talk about nothing, yet everything at the same time.

You smile and squeeze his hand as a confirmation that you’re listening to what he’s saying.

He pauses for a moment and looks at you.

“Sorry for being chatty, I’m just really proud of the kid. He’s doing so well.” he sheepishly smiled.

“Oh, no it’s okay babe, I love listening to you talk. I’m proud of him too. I bet you’re teaching him really well, I have faith in you.” you hold his face and lean in to give him a soft kiss, which caught him off guard.

“We should all go out together someday! I would love to meet him. He sounds so great.” you smile real big at the thought of Keigo animatedly teaching a stoic teenager.

.

“Yes, I would love that Dove! I kinda talk about you a lot and I think poor Tokoyami has been subjected to it all.” He huffs out a bit embarrassed.

“But it’s not my fault I love you so much! And you’re too cute for your own good. How am I supposed to keep quiet?” He whines as he juts out his bottom lip in a cute pout

You laugh loudly. What did you do to deserve this angel of a man, you’ll never know but will be eternally grateful for.

He joins you in your laughter, which is very contagious, and thinks about how Tokoyami would absolutely enjoy your company.

As your laughter settles a bit, you open the candy that you and Keigo grabbed from the convenience store and start munching on it.

You talk about your job to Keigo, the bakery you and your friend co-own is gaining business, which makes you excited to meet more customers.

(Maybe Keigo had something to do with that but you’ll never know.)

You love your job, it’s your passion, and you are so happy with how far you have come with life with a stable job.

You continue telling Keigo about how a customer ordered a few dozen pastries, and you had naively thought that they were going to eat it all themself, but then they clarified it was for their coworkers. Which made you very embarrassed but is a funny story to tell.

“Babe, I don’t even know why I thought they would eat them all!” You grab your stomach and try not to laugh out the candy in your mouth.

He laughs with you and doubles over, finding your assumption hilarious.

God, everything was perfect about him. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Listening to his laugh was heavenly. It’s deep and soft that leaves a fuzzy feeling in the pit of your tummy and a flush to your face.

You stare at him in admiration and then a feeling of a rush of love going through your body, of pure adoration and caring.. So you do the most reasonable thing that came to mind.

You attack him.

Jumping on him and attacking his face and neck with kisses filled with the most love in your heart.

The kisses made blood rush to his head and his wings puffed up. He laughed some more and grabbed your waist to steady you and keep you close, hoping this bliss and stream of kisses would last forever.

As your kisses got softer and more gentle, you held his face and looked at him.

You would give him the world, the stars, anything he wanted, you would make sure he would get.

He hummed as you both got lost in each other’s eyes.

“I love you Dove, I hope I helped you feel a little better,” he murmured as he pressed a loving kiss to your lips.

“I love you so much, Keigo!” you say to his face and then turn to the stars above.

“I love Keigo so much! Do you hear that? I love love love love him!” You shout at the sky as loud as you can and it listens.

You look back down at the man below you and you smile with your heart swelled with feeling, nightmares long forgotten as you give him another loving kiss.

You pull away as you grab his hands and sit next to him, leaning into his warmth.

“We should go get more sweets! Let’s go to the top of a building, I want to know what it feels like being so high up! I bet you’re used to it though, huh love.” you turn to him and continue “I bet the view from up there is insane right?”

He hums, focused on your words and your body near him.

“It is something I’m familiar with, but I would love to experience it with you. The stars look amazing from a tall building. Sometimes if I had night patrol, I would just go fly up and look at the sky. It listens to you and it’s comforting even though it’s so vast.” he looked up and silently thanked the universe for listening and for giving you to him.

You nod eagerly in agreement.

“The sky is so cool! It protects the earth, and at night we can look at lights in the dark. It’s really reassuring.”

You stand up and grab his hand, guiding him to another convenience store to get more sweets.

Something you noticed while you were looking at the mini cakes is that Keigo constantly kept near you, with a hand on your lower back or around your waist. Maybe it was just an intuition to keep near to, to reassure himself and to reassure you.

No complaints, though. You smile to yourself as you think fondly of how he cares for you.

Your legs dangle off a tall building as you stare at the lights of the city. It’s freeing but terrifying at the same time.

You lean closer to your love and grab his waist to steady yourself.

He keeps his arm around your waist, firmly to ground you.

“Oh my god, how do you do this so often babe?” you cling to him and try to bury yourself in his shoulder.

He holds onto you tighter.

“We don’t have to stay here, we could go somewhere else if you want to.” concern glints in his eyes as he softens, looking at you staying as close to him as you can.

“No! I just was not expecting it to be this high up.” you eagerly say to him as you turn to the view.

He nodded in acknowledgement and squeezed your waist to confirm that he was listening.

The city was breathtaking at night. The lights everywhere, it seemed, were still on, never sleeping. The buildings look like tiny Lego blocks from your high perspective. Sometimes you never realized how in each lit up room there was a person, with their own life, their own choices that matter just as much as yours. This was a reminder that everyone is the same, with their own life, their own decisions to make, and with relationships of their own. Their own Keigo, someone that brought comfort and loved them.

“I love life.” you start, still staring at the lights.

“Life is so good, it blessed me with you, babe. I have so many good things in my life and I am so grateful. I have you, my friends, the bakery, and I hope that everyone that lives with each of those lights has things similar to this. I hope that life treats them as well as it treats me.”

You tear up a bit.

“Even though I get nightmares regularly, there’s no good in this world without a bit

of bad. But I’m so grateful for what I have. Thank you for being here for me, Keigo.”

You look at him as if he held the world and the stars in his hands and smiled.

“I love you so much, I could never imagine this world without you in it.”

You hear his voice, slow and careful.

“God damn it, I could never see myself without you.” he choked up a bit.

“You taught me how to love, how to see the light in the world. If you weren’t here, I don’t know what I would do with myself. Maybe tear up everything with my bare hands.”

He laughed dryly

“It hurts so much to see you wake up from night terrors Dove, I only wish I could rid you of them. They trouble you and it hurts to see you get sad and afraid of resting because of those.”

Grabbing your face, he turned to you and leaned in to look at your eyes.

“I will do anything to help you with it, name it and I will provide. I want to help.” a determined tone broke through his choked voice.

“You already do so much for me Love, I could never thank you enough for spending time with me at night and sleeping with me. That rids me of it most times and I could never ask for more. Maybe I should get some melatonin.” You say thoughtfully.

“Of course, anything to help. We should get some tomorrow.”

Perfect timing for a yawn to break out as you lean into him.

“That sounds like a plan babe, sounds real nice. Thank you.”

You fall asleep on him as the sun peaks through. Pushing away the dark with the warmth of the sun.

Reminds you of Keigo. Pushing all the nightmares and scary things away with his presence alone.

Fully dozed off, Keigo smiles at you and gently carries you back home into your bed. Happy that you were able to sleep. He tucked you into your bed, changed and went to join you. He held you close to him, close to his heart, where you would always stay, safely tucked away and joined you in slumber.

You sleepily arose to a warm arm around you and peaceful breathing, smiling and pushing his hair out of his face and giving a soft kiss to his forehead you cuddled back into him and went back to sleep.

You would never want to be anywhere else.

[tessiete]

Ahhh!! so many good ones! but 5. I like 5 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

OBVIOUSLY Obitine 😏

SO, first of all, number 8 was taken by someone else. And secondly, I...I didn't quite do the whumping that you wanted. I shall - someday. But hopefully you will accept this offering in light of our wild discord conversations tonight. I love you, I miss you, I can't believe you went to bed when I TOLD YOU NOT TO!

Divine

Her head is heavy. Though the room is cool, her skin feels flushed and warm. She thinks she’d kick away the blanket, if she could. If she only could free one foot, perhaps she’d feel better. But the thought is gone before she can gather the strength to try. She feels too warm, but she is even more tired than that. Exhausted, really. It would be so easy to fall asleep. Her eyes are already closed, her hands already loose and soft at her sides. She feels the bed dip, and feels his shadow brush against her fingertips, as he leans close to whisper in her ear.

“Can you stay awake for me?” he asks.

She hums her agreement. She will try. But she is tired.

The gentle stroke of a finger crosses her cheekbone, and her eyelashes flutter against his knuckles.

“I am awake,” she murmurs.

“A little longer,” he vows. “Only a little longer, please, and then I promise, you can rest.”

It takes all her strength to turn her head towards him, the pillow supporting her neck and urging her towards unconsciousness.

“I don’t have to listen to you, you know.”

He laughs. It is a different laugh than she has ever heard from him, something quiet, and scared, and fleeting. It tumbles round his chest, high and wet, like a haabral fawn newborn staggering clumsily to its feet.

“You don’t,” he acknowledges. “You never have. But I’m asking all the same.”

“Don’t fret, my love,” she says, stretching out her fingertips and reaching for his hand. “I will not leave you to face this thing alone.”

He reaches back, and wraps her hand in his. She can feel it trembling, even through her own fatigue, and malaise. She shifts, wanting him closer but pain catches deep in her abdomen, and she cannot help the thin little moan which escapes her. It probably causes him more hurt than her. She knows much has been done to ease her suffering, while he has remained close, attentive, and sober.

“Be still,” he soothes, his anxious hands now at her face, and then her neck, then ghosting over her shoulders, and arms, and hips. He offers comfort, but fears he’s only capable of injury, uncertain where he might touch her without deepening her agony. Silly man, she thinks. She is not made of glass, and he can cause no greater harm than he already has.

“I’m fine,” she says. The words are thick, and gummy on her tongue. “I’m quite alright.”

And for a moment, she thinks he believes her. She hopes. But then he speaks again.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“It is far too late for that,” she replies, quickly, for she has been sparring with him for long enough to have words prepared for his every foolish apology.

But he is insistent. His voice is quiet as though afraid his confession may be overheard by some less merciful god than her. And he goes on.

“I am sorry I was not there for you,” he says. “The first time. I am sorry that you suffered alone. I cannot - I cannot imagine. And I do not think I have the right to try.”

“Do or do not,” she murmurs, half asleep though she fights it. “Someone said that once. I say, do not. For it is past, and I do not begrudge you your choices. You always have followed your heart.”

He sighs. His hand crests her brow, and pushes her sweat-soaked hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear.

“I do not deserve you,” he says.

She smiles, and turns her cheek to his palm.

“What a silly thought,” she says, slipping further into delirium. “Gifts are not meant for the deserving. They’re for the beloved.

He leans close. She feels the rasp of his beard scrape the shell of her ear, and he whispers a secret.

“I love you,” he says.

She presses her hand to his thigh. “I know.”

With the little strength she has left, she meets his gaze so that he can read her heart, bared openly between them. That is why her eyes are open when the door to her medroom slides open, and Padme slips in.

“Obi-Wan,” she says. She speaks his name gently, afraid to startle him from his perch.

He reaches for her hand again, and she squeezes his fingers, grounding him, and keeping him from flight. Padme approaches her bed, her smile soft, compassionate. She shares a look with Satine that speaks of understanding, of fear abated, and a promise of care. In her arms, there is a bundle of cloth, and an impossibly fragile creature.

“Would you like to meet your son?” she asks. Her arms adjust so that the bundle takes form, and Obi-Wan can see the tiny pink face of his second child.

“A boy?” he asks.

Padme nods. And she grins. Her smile is wide, and white, and seems brighter than any of the sterile walls or fluorescent glowpanels of this private medroom. Satine’s own mouth curves upward, as Obi-Wan’s hand slips from hers, and his body pulls away as he leans forward to accept this most precious gift.

She watches, the scene blurred with tears and gilded with golden lashes, as Obi-Wan’s expression turns from fear, to confusion, to astonishment and awe.

“A boy,” he says again, as though he needs to make it certain. And just to be doubly sure, he tells it to Padme, too. “I have another son!”

Padme nods, and smiles, smoothing the blankets, and tucking them into the crook of Obi-Wan’s elbow.

“Everyone’s waiting to see you,” she says. “I had to fight them off to reach you first. They’re asking about a name.”

“Mav'ani,” Satine whispers. “Forgiveness.”

“Satine -” Obi-Wan says, looking at her with such reverence she has to close her eyes to its force.

“You have always had my heart” she says, thinking of her first son, named for the willing sacrifice of love. “Now you can carry my forgiveness, too.”

[ri-boo]

Shout out to those of you who’ve heard any of these and more from your parents/family members...

“I gave birth to you/I’m your parent so I automatically deserve your respect.”

“I feed you, clothe you, and house you. You don’t get to complain about anything.”

“Learn to take a joke, you’re too sensitive.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I don’t remember that happening.”

“If you don’t like my rules, then leave.”

“Who else would take in someone like you? I’m your parent so it’s here or nowhere.”

“If you want my respect, respect me. But even if you respect me, I’m not required to respect you because you’re a child.”

“It really hurts me that you’re accusing me of something so awful. Stop making things up.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re useless.”

“I won’t accept you if you’re trans/gay (or anything else lgbtq).

“Sometimes I wish I had an abortion. My life would be so much easier.”

“Oh... I thought you were going to show me something cool or impressive. Your art isn’t either of those.”

“Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

“I’m sorry... but, I only do this because I love you.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t deserve (insert something simple, like new shoes) because all you do is disappoint me.”

“Your opinions and feelings don’t matter. Just do what I say.”

Hey you, yeah you reading this right now...

Your opinions and feelings do matter.

You deserve the world and more. You deserve happiness and love.

I may not know you, but I love you. I think you’re awesome! <3

Everyone is different, don’t hold yourself up to the standards or comparisons of others. You’re amazing no matter how different you are.

Are you proud of something you’ve done? I’m proud of you and what you did too.

Did you enjoy that drawing? That’s amazing!

Did you enjoy that thing you wrote or made? Awesome! I’d love to see it or read it sometime.

Did something make you smile? I’m so glad you smiled. <3

Did you want to share something? Go ahead! I’m all ears (you can comment or add it to this post if you’d like). I’d love to know what you have to share. I’ll listen.

You’re here. You matter. You being alive does not make you a burden, it makes you something amazing, something wonderful. Breathe. Stand in the sun for a bit. Listen to the rain. Dance yourself silly to some random song until you collapse in a fit of laughter. ( I suggest Get Up by Mother Mother as pick me up ;) You’re alive. And that makes me happy.

No matter who or what you are, I accept you. You’re not alone! My family doesn’t like who I am sometimes either but that’s okay because we’ve got eachother! Count me as your family if you’d like, I understand and accept all of you. :)

You’re not useless. And you don’t have to be useful either. You shouldn’t be used, period. You should just be if that’s what you want. (This ones hard for me too, sometimes I need a reminder.)

You’re not stupid. Your intelligence isn’t measured in grades or awards or what career path you take/took. Your intelligence or smarts isn’t something people can see just by looking at you. A learning disability or your neurodivergence doesn’t make you any lesser than anyone else. Your brain is amazing (even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.)

Sometimes people can’t or won’t accept that they hurt you. Sometimes you can’t fix that. Don’t doubt what you know and stay steady in your self trust.

Some people don’t deserve your respect. That’s okay. You’re not required to give it if you can’t or if it hurts to do so.

Need somewhere to go? There’s resources! I may not be able to take you in but there is someone who will and would. It’s scary, I know that personally. People are scary. But sometimes reaching out and getting that help could be the thing that gets you to safety. Your safety matters.

Do you remember something happening? Even if it might be a little fuzzy or clouded with emotions? I believe you. I believe you and acknowledge your experiences and pain.

You’re not exaggerating. You’re not being dramatic. You’re not overreacting. You’re being human and you’re hurt. It’s okay to show that.

Who do you think you are? Amazing I hope! But even then, even if you think you’re lesser or not enough, if you think you’re struggles make you worthless, even then, I think you’re amazing. Someday I hope you think so too!

What is wrong with you? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. You might just have a little glitch in the brain. A gear isn’t turning right. Or maybe you’re sad. Maybe you need a hug. Or maybe you don’t like physical contact and you just need someone to sit with? We can talk about what you think is wrong/off/different because what you think is wrong matters. Maybe we can figure a few things out or get you help. I care, and so do others. I promise.

Did that joke hurt you in some way? Say it. You’re not being sensitive. You’re feeling. And feeling is brave. Did I say something that hurt you? Tell me! I don’t want you to hurt. <3

Is something bothering you? Complain! Let it out! Write it down or scream it for the world to hear. Something stressing you out? Me too man, me too. It’s okay to complain. You’re acknowledging what bothers you and what you want for yourself. Just because someone does the bare minimum for you, doesn’t mean you can’t hope for or expect more.

Just because your parents had you, just because they’re your parents, doesn’t mean you’re required to respect them. Did they lose your respect? Did they hurt you too many times? Did they make your life a living hell or make you think your worth depends on what they think? You don’t have to keep them in your life, you’re allowed to cut off toxic family, you’re allowed to be happy.

You matter. I believe you. I accept you. You’re allowed to feel and show it. You’re allowed to be free of those who’ve hurt you. You’re allowed to be happy.

You’re not alone.