#I hear that there’s a monster

[saint-augustines-pears]

If I was in a horror movie I would use my patented Die On The Spot method to avoid getting killed by the monster

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

[fairsweetlonging]

truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.

during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.

he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.

the peak lords think he's cursed.

maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.

it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.

maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.

of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.

this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!

even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.

they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!

maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.

luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.

for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.

shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.

[poppitron360]

Easily my favourite moment in Epic

[mamulgogi]

[zec-draws]

Hear me out guys 🫰 (thank you for the likes/reblogs💜)

[floweroflaurelin]

The Final Flame 🕯️

—

“We’re all just candles in the dark.”

[butchjesus]

ok but for real now. since tiktok has so throughly disappointed on this trend. who is your strangest hear me out / most bizarre crush? freaks and headscratchers only edition

[demigods-posts]

all that i need is for percabeth to be in a situation where the only way they can make it out alive is if one of them can win over a group of monsters by telling a captivating and convincing love story. and it's just annabeth very dramatically and humorously reciting the first five books of the pjo series from her perspective. and the monsters are just eating it tf up. and percy's just facepalming so hard.

[theblindgoddess]

Epic the Musical AU

An au that begins after Aphrodite wins the golden apple and she shows Paris what is basically a magic video recording of Helen, telling him about his future bride.

However, in this magic video recording Helen is spending time with Penelope, and Paris goes "forget that Helen chick, I want that one."

And Aphrodite just goes with it, so instead of kidnapping Helen, Paris and Aphrodite kidnap Penelope, and a baby Telemachus to help them better control Penelope.

Odysseus is rightfully murderous, and even if he doesn't have the benefit of a treaty to get all of the Greeks on his side, he is still able to strong arm and lie his way into getting that massive army to besiege Troy and get his wife back.

And over in Troy Penelope is making the situation as insufferable for Paris as she possibly can, she will cause all of the problems until she can get back home safely with her son.

This au would be called Penelope of Troy.

[scalemodelarbysreplica]

diversity win! the guy found dead (?) in a server cabinet got gay married (and gay divorced) to a crypto bro!

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

there's just something about this sopping soggy specimen of an alien that makes me want to suck his dick-

[tunamuffiin]

[sirpseudonymphoapish]

OP clearly doesn't have a tumblr account.

anyway drop your wild hear me outs that you would ACTUALLY make out with if given the chance

[monsterhunterthings]

I contemplated a few other monsters to put in the selection (raths, yian ku-ku, yian garuga, etc.) but I might save them for another fun poll. No nuance option; vote with your heart.

[nicollekidman]

buffy knows spike loves her during season five. buffy knows spike loves her when she comes back and seeks comfort/silence in his presence. and as she comes back to herself and tries to make peace with the fact that she’s Here Again, she still knows he loves her. and i think part of the Big Bad Grabbing The Slayer For The Darkness routine they both cling to is that it allows them to pretend this huge thing isn’t between them so they can get what they both want (someone to stay).

and like obviously buffy cannot allow herself to believe that he loves her for many reasons, but she DOES believe it, she can’t make herself unknow it even though she tries so hard. which is partially where the breakdown with tara in 6.13 comes from because the cognitive dissonance of soulless spike loving her as if he has a soul while she is so lost within herself that the only way she can reach for him is to use him (which would be fine if he was the big bad grabbing the slayer for the darkness) which is hurting him! unfathomably! but he’s supposed to be the corruption! how can he??? any of it???

meanwhile spike has watched the woman he loves be brought back as a shell and he wants to see the light in her eyes and he can touch her now and sometimes that’s enough to make her laugh but he can’t linger in those moments or she’ll go away again! so he can play the role he needs to play so she’ll stay, as if he could keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be. as if he wants her to be in the dark instead of bringing him into the light. but how could he ask for anything more when he already got her back and he didn’t even need to kill her afterwards.

and so they hurt each other and he forgets himself and asks her if she even likes him and it’s too honest and he’s asking too much (he asks for nothing) so before she can throw her life away like it’s nothing, he puts the game face on, makes himself a target, and swallows it all. and she can’t unknow. and it would all be fine except he’s a vampire and she’s the slayer and how can he just say it like it’s nothing when she needs to beat his face in just to keep from screaming.