#I haven't done an intro in years i'm so sorry

[mymistakewriting]

About (new post)

It's been a while and almost a hundred new followers since I've done an "about me" post. I figured it was probably time to fix that.

Hi, I'm Kieran. I'm 28, I go by they/them pronouns

I write fanfiction and post headcanons and meta / observations / rants to the void about my fandoms and hyperfixations in my spare time (I work full-time as a server, but don't feel comfortable sharing what company I work at). I do accept requests for writing and headcanons, my inbox is always open for those and to just chat!

I have a discord account that I'm far more active on because I sometimes forget that tumblr exists (ameenjouee is my handle there if anyone wants to add me).

I have a large range of fandoms that I write for, but tend to cycle through and only focus on a handful at a time. I usually post when these fandoms change, but haven't done so yet recently (I'll do so in a new post after this)

This post will also act as a "Before You Follow" post, and an invitation to unfollow me to any newbies around here that don't feel comfortable sticking around with the following information out there:

As a writing blog, I have a few rules:

I do not condone ship bashing. I'm also a multi-shipper within most of my fandoms rather than have one ship that I focus in on. I like some variety in my writing. Any harassment that stems from me writing a ship that isn't majority in a fandom or that "gets in the way" of a popular ship will be answered by a block. I'm not the person to try that shit with.

I don't condone white-washing - be it via fancasts or culturally in portrayal. As someone with Romani heritage who grew up removed from a culture that I have to learn now that I have access to the side of my family that it comes from, I will always go to bat for people and cultures that aren't being represented or heard.

I'm very conscious of tagging triggering topics when I post my writing. If you like seeing my content but need something specific tagged as a trigger, please reach out (anon or not, I want anyone who takes up with my content to be safe reading it), and I'll make sure the topic is tagged both pre-content in post and in the tags from now on.

I will not write reader-insert.

As a person, I also have the following heads up to give:

I'm neurodivergent, that's about all you need on that one.

I'm non-binary, panromantic, demisexual (to be read as: homophobic and transphobic comments ain't gonna fly with me)

I don't have posting schedules, it's very much a "when I have time" or "when I finish it" kind of mess of a blog.

I'm very vocal when it comes to politics, ecological welfare, and human rights - these posts will be mostly contained to my personal blog, not my writing. The only real reason I include it is because the first time someone steps to my blog with some "blue lives matter" bullshit due to my writing for the 911 & Lone Star fandoms, I'll be reporting and blocking you, thanks.

But if all that seems fine by you, welcome to my blog. Feel free to stay a while and chat.

[evertidings]

— JANUARY 2024.

accomplishments.

i meant to write this yesterday. and the day before. and, well, yes, also the whole weekend. it's not much of a monthly update when we're already a week into february, but we're ignoring it. time flies; it's so crazy.

i hate to admit it but january was not a good month for me in terms of writing. i really thought my last semester at school would be easy (ha) so i was overestimating how much i could get done. the truth is, i haven't touched when twilight strikes for a while. and it pains me heavily. i wish i was working on that rather than my essays (boooo!!!) but i can't afford a fail when i'm so close to graduating. so, reluctant priorities. in an ideal world, chapter eleven would come out this month. in reality, i have no date. i would love march, but my progress has been so slow i can't guarantee it.

to speak on the little i have written, though, i think it's going really well. i'm diving into some complicated things and while it's challenging, it's also been super fun. i might have mentioned this last month but a lot of things are reaching a culminating point. because of that, the chapter is definitely more plot-driven than fluff, but (don't worry!) at the same time, it's still very character-driven. i don't think it'd be a 'me' chapter if it wasn't. Blane, K and Rylan have whole scenes (K and Rylan are in one scene together, Blane is on their own; i've yet to decide how or if I'm doing it for A and N). i'm really excited for you to read them.

finally, as some of you may know, February is also the month of my anniversary. it'll be three years since i posted my intro post here on tumblr and damn, like i said, time flies. it's funny because i thought it'd be done by now, but hey, here i still am, writing chapter eleven and *struggling* with it. usually, i post some sort of anniversary special, but since i'm so behind this year, i haven't been able to get a start on it. i'm really sorry about this—i was so excited about it too because i know exactly what i want to do. i still plan for it to be released, but just not on the deadline of the actual day, unfortunately. so if anyone was looking forward to that, you'll have to wait.

on a lighter note, i hope you're all doing well! hopefully, february will be kinder to me in terms of assignments <3

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain (Part I)

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, abuse, suicide, religious themes, ect.

FAMILY TREE (INTRO)

These crosses all over my body remind me of who I used to be.

Christ forgive these bones I'm hiding.

He cannot escape his mother's blood.

He'll never escape what he's made up of.

The fates already fucked me sideways.

You know I raised you bеtter than this.

Leavе me hanging so they all can laugh at me.

AMERICAN TEENAGER

Putting too much faith in the make-believe.

The neighbor's brother came home in a box.

He wanted to go, so maybe it was his fault.

Another red heart taken by the American dream.

I feel it there in the middle of the night.

I'm all alone again.

Say what you want, but say it like you mean it.

Just give it one more day, then you'rе done.

I do what I want.

I said it was fun.

I don't need anything from anyone.

It's just not my year.

I'm all good out here.

I'm sorry if I sound off, but I was probably wasted.

Didn't feel so good.

Head full of whiskey but I always deliver.

If you're listening, let me handle my liquor.

If you're there, why do I feel alone in this room with you?

I'm still standing here.

I do it for *Name*.

I'm doing what I want and damn, I'm doing it well.

A HOUSE IN NEBRASKA

Sing it to me all day long.

The aching sound of silence used to be our favorite song.

You and me against the world.

You were my man and I your girl.

We had nothing except each other.

You were my whole world.

I still call home that house in Nebraska.

We found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor.

The world was empty, save you and I.

You left, and I cried.

Even if we died tonight, I'd die yours.

These dirt roads are empty.

Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well.

Really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time.

It hurts to miss you.

It's worse to know that I'm the reason you won't come home.

I died there under you, every night, all night.

You know, I still wait at the edge of town, praying straight to God that maybe you’ll come back around.

I cry every day, and the bottles make it worse.

You were the only one I was never scared to tell I hurt.

I found photographs of our school, on the day we met.

I thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess.

You might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night.

I just hope you're doing fine out there.

I just pray that you're all right.

I feel so alone.

I feel so alone without you.

WESTERN NIGHTS

He's never looked more beautiful.

I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue.

Show me how much I mean to you.

I'd hold the gun if you asked me to.

If you love me like you say you do, would you ask me to?

Trouble's always gonna find you baby. but so will I.

Hold me across every state line.

I'm never gonna leave you baby, even if you lose what's left of your mind.

'Cause you know I'll be right there beside you.

I haven't spoken to my daddy in a long, long time.

I don't want him to worry.

The neighborhood keeps getting smaller.

All starved out when the money's paper thin.

All that's left are your walls and you'll die there.

I should have known that there's no getting in.

I'll still be alright.

Clinging onto you like some love blind addict.

I'll be screaming your name.

Please don't love how I need you.

Know that one day, you and I could be okay.

FAMILY TREE

I'm just a child but I'm not above violence.

My mama raised me better than that.

Daddy said shoot first then run and don't look back.

Take me down to the river and bathe me clean.

I've killed before and I'll kill again.

Take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand.

They say heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Hell don't scare me, I've been times before.

HARD TIMES

Lay it on me.

Tell me a story about how it ends where you're still the good guy.

I hate this story.

Happiness ends and dies with you.

I thought good guys get to be happy.

I'm not happy.

I am poison in the water and unhappy.

I was too young to noticе that some types of love could bе bad.

I still do, and that scares me.

I'm tired of you.

It's just the way that you are.

I just wanna sleep.

[eisforeidolon]

Question: What episode are you guys most proud of, that you just made and you really knew this is something special?

Jared: What episode are we most proud of that we made - of Supernatural?

Question: Of any show.

Jared: I'll go with Supernatural because we've got some Supernatural family members up here. What episode - I guess I'll start - sorry, I hear a little "Eeeeeeeeeeee" Was E.T. just up here? Why are we hearing "Eeeeeeeee" - just kidding, kidding. I think for me, this may seem obvious, the episode I'm most proud of and the most difficult episode to shoot was the series finale. It was rough. It was really rough. And it was a weird - I think when the COVID strike happened, we got - Jensen and I got sent home from Canada on Friday March 13th, Friday the 13th, appropriately, of 2020 because they thought they were going to shut the borders down. So they were like, get across the border, go see your family, we don't know what's going on, you know, there's a worldwide pandemic. And so we had the scripts by then, we had the last two scripts of the series and we got home and didn't go back to Vancouver until August 1st-ish? So I had four months - and a half - to sit there and read through the dialogue, I couldn't read through the scene, the barn scene especially, without crying. And so I'd like go - yeah, we have a little treadmill at our house - and so I had nothing else to do, I'd be like hey Genevieve can you take the kids for a second, I'm gonna go and just get a little run in and read through the episodes. And she's like, yeah, do it. So I'd go and I'd come back and my face would be all puffy and red, and she'd be like, oh shit, are you okay? Like, thinking I got bad news about a friend with COVID or something, and I'd be like yeah, just read the finale, it's cool, it's cool. Yeah, so that was very difficult. But I was very proud of that and it was very heartbreaking as well. Guys and gals?

[Julian Richings talks about being proud he was able to hit his mark in the big boat of a car Death drove in his intro, Sam Smith talks about all the little missing pieces character moments of Mary in Absence, and Alaina Huffman reminisces about getting "to kick the shit out of Crowley" and how great Mark Sheppard is.]

Mitch Pileggi: I'm gonna keep it with Supernatural, because I've been so fortunate to have such a long career and I can't remember most of it, so I couldn't remember moments from it. Probably the hugest, one of the hugest moments of my life was the day that I met Jared Padalecki. And, I mean, I've got the job, so I don't need to say that. Yeah, he ain't gonna fire me. So it was huge, I met an individual that has been so giving and so - to my family, to me and to my family and everybody around us on the show that we're doing now. I have to say that the show that we're doing now is my favorite show that I've ever done in the forty plus years of my career. Without a question, without a doubt, if you haven't seen it, start watching, please. But I think as far as Supernatural, I didn't understand most of what that character was doing and I'm still trying to figure it out. So, I mean even Bob Singer was like, what the hell is going on with those Campbells? So. But I have to say, the scene that I had with Jensen where he turns into the Yellow Eyed Demon was a blast. I had so much fun. I got to get up and sniff on Jensen real good and it was fun, I really enjoyed doing it. And just - like for both of them, when I met both of them, I think I took Jensen aside about four days working on the show and I said I just want to say that you two guys have got your heads screwed on right. Keep it that way, because this business can really twist you up and it hasn't done it to this day, so.

[just-a-carrot]

hhhhh ik you said at some point that you don't particularly enjoy depicting the cast as their child selves, so I hope this request doesn't make you too uncomfortable but..

Aside from the intro sequence, do you have any specific scenarios or stuff like that that you could thing of as happening in the first iteration of the wonderland. Ik the game is a horror game and all but it's just super wholesome to think about the more fairytale like aspect that happened before everything went to shit(/pos).

Mostly this was brought about by thinking of Jerry like. He's already shown in Arc 5 to have parental sort of tendencies and if he still existed in the first iteration of the wonderland it would just be super sweet to think of scenarios of him just babysitting the cast and stuff. Lot of kid chaos yk? SKKJHJSB sorry it's just so wholesome and sweet to think about that kinda dynamic/scenario

ahhhhhh... oh gosh 💦 now i feel very sheepish because that's not what i meant and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. i was referring more to when i'd see people draw, say, genzou, 3, 4, 5 times, and every single time it was him as a kid/in high school, and never once did i see them draw him as an adult. THAT SPECIFICALLY made me feel weird. particularly as it happened most often with genzou so in the back of my mind it was always like... "oh... so you just don't want to draw him fat... 😅" and i'd just end up feeling very strange. HOWEVER, i haven't seen that happen in quite a while, it was mostly just still stuck in my head from earlier days of production, and since it often happened with genzou (and orlam a bit) my mind kinda associates it most with them lol. HAVING SAID THAT i am not uncomfortable in the slightest if ppl draw them as kids, if ppl come up with scenarios for them as kids or in high school, if ppl ask me questions about them as kids, etc. so please never feel bad asking me questions about it!! i'm really sorry that my badly explained answer to that other question came across that way, i don't want ppl to feel bad or uncomfortable about that. and i think imagining flashbacks or cute moments of them growing up is very sweet. like, a huge part of their dynamic as a group COMES from the fact that they grew up together and have all these shared moments, so i do really enjoy coming up with them and thinking about their changing dynamics through the years, etc.

anyway as to your actual question... lkdajfa

it's not something i've thought of extensively before but i have come up with at least the types of scenarios that you see hinted at in the game itself. like they talk about playing hide and seek in the sunflower fields. riding on the kiddie kruise. getting snacks and messing around in the village. also all the wishes that show up in the final cutscene were all taken from ideas i had for stuff they would have done, as all of those wishes would have led to resulting shenanigans of some sort

i personally had not thought about jerry's involvement in all of this; HOWEVER, someone did make a fan game about this exact thing during last year's fanart contest, showing jerry doing fun and silly things and going on adventures with them as kids when they came to wonderland, and though obviously it's not official, i think it's incredibly sweet and i love to think about them having these kinds of moments!!! so if you want to think about jerry being there (along with the other rabbits) and helping them get up to all kinds of shenanigans i think that fits incredibly well, even if i don't have any specific ideas for what those would have been aside from what i've already mentioned/hinted towards in game hahaha. somehow i feel like others would be able to come up with a lot more silly and creative things than i ever could in regards to this matter 🤣

[doberbutts]

Hi - asking in good faith here, but I am also relatively new to active anti-racism (im white, grew up in all white areas, and didn't encounter anti racist perspectives until college). In the last few years I've done a LOT of reading about anti-black racism, black feminist theory, womanism, etc, and I'm beginning to understand why the bastardization and appropriation of aave is so harmful. I don't want to put my friends of color on the spot about this or make them feel pressured to answer a certain way, though, and I DO want an answer that's grounded in theory and thoughtfulness about these things (two traits my circle of 18-20 year olds sometimes lacks, understandably). I know that that might put a lot of pressure on you as well but please know that while I do respect your opinion, I know you're just one Black person with one opinion - and of course if an irl Black friend ever came to me and told me to stop I would.

My question is, if I am making sure to attribute it correctly as AAVE, being careful to make sure I'm using it appropriately, and of course listening in case I hear I've misused it - is it still harmful for me as a white person to use aave? Is it possible to use aave non-harmfully as a white person, among Black friends? Or would it be better for me to do my best to remove those words and phrases and grammatical structures from the way I speak entirely?

A lot of these things, I pick up FROM my friends, and they haven't, idk, made faces or suggested I should stop or anything like that. But of course it's hard to sort out what I pick up from my friends, what I pick up from Black literature (im a terrible parrot from my books unfortunately 😬), and what comes from the intern*t lol. So there's obviously the potential to misuse or disrespect aave, especially if I ever stop being thoughtful about what I say and where I first hear it. And while I have tried to read up on the appropriation of AAVE and develop my own opinion, this really does seem like one of those things where as a white person my opinion is always going to be a little out of touch - and I REALLY don't want to hurt and alienate my friends and accidentally advance racism in my community because I felt qualified to comment on this.

I don't know. I grew up in a very white enclave in a very white area of a very white state, and I AM trying to catch up and think critically about what I do say and think, but honestly, I am very new to these things. So if this is a dumb question or I am inadvertently ignorant/inappropriate, I'm really sorry about that and please know that I AM trying to do better. (And I will never say no to specific resource recommendations. I've read everything you usually read in an intro to Africana studies course lol but there is so much out there!!)

Thanks, either way. I appreciate you taking the time to read this extremely long winded ask lol. And I appreciate the way you blog about these things and how you make it clear where and from what you develop your opinions - that's super helpful!!!

-bee

Well as you said I am one person and I do not know you or talk to you really so I can't really say yes or no on your specific case. But also I would challenge you to ask yourself why you felt you needed the permission of a black stranger rather than actually sit down and talk to your friends about it.

I have said in other posts that it is less about needing to be black to speak AAVE and more about respect. I am all for cultural sharing and appreciation and I do not think that culture requires specifically only blood ties. I'm a mixed race person, after all, and one who has a quite large mixed race extended and found family. I think that blood is not the only thing that defines us.

But I also think that one must go into these sorts of conversations with respect. My white (passing) mother can understand my black family speaking AAVE, despite the fact that there was a single black kid in her neighborhood and school system when she grew up. This is because she treated my dad and his family with respect, and so they are comfortable speaking this way in front of her, and she is comfortable asking for clarification if she needs it, which is quite rare nowadays considering she's been married to my dad for 35 years and in a relationship with him for 42 and has thus had a lot of practice.

But she also doesn't use AAVE herself. To her, it would be disrespectful. She did not grow up in it. It is not her culture. It is shared with her due to proximity to said culture with her husband and father of her children. But for her, she chooses to continue to use the Pennsylvania Dutch-influenced dialect she grew up in, which is a very white Appalachian specific-to-Pennsylvania dialect and culture. I myself switch back and forth between the two, depending on who I'm talking to. Sometimes in the same conversation, if I'm talking to my mom vs my dad in the same room.

I don't think any of my black family would be offended if she did use AAVE, though again with her personality and the way she has approached this over the last several decades I think they'd be surprised if she suddenly did it like tomorrow or something. But she herself does not think it would be respectful of the culture, the dialect, or of her husband and inlaws for it to come out of her mouth. And I am sort of inclined to agree. Outside of a few slang words that have become so distant from their roots that it is difficult to say they are *purely* AAVE anymore, similar with many historically-Yiddish slang words, I do not personally think she could hold a conversation in AAVE and do it respectfully enough to not be offensive. It's just not really hers to do that with.

On the other hand, when I worked in a mostly-black store in an area that was significantly more black-populated, where I rarely had to code switch and mostly used AAVE all the timewith clients and customers, there were nonblack people who also used and understood AAVE. I had no problem with this, even with the white people doing it, because that was just how everyone in that area spoke. And, mot for nothing, but I found those white people to be as a general rule significantly less racist in their treatment of me and of other people of color, and racial mixing was significantly more common. Again, it's about respect. Even if it's not really a concious thing.

[veritable-trash]

You Know The Rules

look at that stupid slutty mustache... god please answer my prayers just this once

Pairing: Finnegan(Everybody Wants Some!!) x Fem!Reader

Summary: God you hate him.

Word Count: 2K

Rating: M - mainly for drugs babayyyyy, weed, that good, otherwise it's pretty clean in these sheets(this time around)

A/N: haha. no one asked for this. but listen! all my glen powell sloots we need to remember the original. sweet daddy finnegan. mustached, shaggy haired, 80s baseball player i mean i couldn't have written a sluttier man if i tried. this movie isn't the greatest, but the music is dope, the outfits are cute, and it serves as a public service announcement that men need to start wearing crop tops IMMEDIATELY. this is a petition for men to start dressing like sluts again so i can finally be at peace. anyways this is completely and utterly self serving but the glen powell top gun resurgence just kept reminding me that this is peak glen to me. give me mustaches or give me death!

sorry that i haven't written... or literally done anything of value in an eon. my brain has given up and also i moved and am currently unemployed and am about to go travel for three months and want to write but have zero inspiration and tumblr makes me sad because everyone is so good at writing and i am a troll under a bridge. this is me trying to release the need to produce things of "value" because does that even mean anymore? i hope someone finds this a little fun because honestly i kinda did :) hugs and kisses <;33333

tell me what you think! i'm literally begging! on my hands and knees! the desperation is palpable yeesh

masterlist yay yay!!!

~~~~~

College.

What a fucking heinous place. Filled with suffocating expectations, the constant need to pretend you’re someone you’re not because of everyone else’s supposed opinions of you. 

It made you want to vomit. 

And yet here you were, cowering in the corner of the kitchen at this stupid, lame, awful college party. A baseball party no less. Those absolute heathens. Probably the worst category of men on this campus by about 20 miles and you were definitely counting. 

The joint you haphazardly rolled in the absolutely disgusting bathroom crackles between your lips as you try to tune out every single person here and catch the steady baseline of the song playing hoping that that will somehow lull you into a state of calm.

This new weed sucked shit. All stems, all seeds, and got you high for about 30 seconds. You were going to kill Willoughby when you saw him. Honestly the only baseball player in this house you liked and even he was about to get moved right onto the shit list with the rest of the men of this house. 

Your friends had badgered you endlessly all week to ask Willoughby for the invite, not that you really need to even ask him. Girls? More than one? The baseball boys were already salivating like it was their last meal on death row.

The standards in this place were in the fucking basement. 

Some would call you a pessimist. Angry, bitchy, snippy, negative, the whole gambit and they might be right. But college was a fucking weird ass place that made your skin crawl and your anxiety spike and all you wanted to do was smoke your green, pass your classes, and watch your cartoons in peace, please and thank you. 

And then his voice cut through your slow building haze like a serrated knife on a chalkboard. Made of sandpaper.

“Sweetheart! I thought Willoughby mentioned you’d be here, and why am I not surprised you’re toking it up alone in our kitchen, my favorite little stoner weirdo.”

Finnegan.

The absolute ultimate fuck. 

Mustached, wide shoulders, shaggy blonde, crisp baby blues, he was everything your vagina yearned for until he opened his stupid mouth. And of course that was just as pretty as the rest of him too. 

You’d met him for the first time freshman year. Fresh faced and thinking the world was truly your oyster, he’d popped into your life in intro to philosophy and swept you away with his silky, fancy words and the fact that he looked like that. 

He’d invited you to the first baseball party you’d ever gone to and made you a special promise that he would be your knight in shining armor for the night. That he’d be waiting for your arrival, was counting down the minutes till you showed up at his door and he could dance the night away with you.

That was until you saw him sucking face with Tracy. Who was also in your intro to philosophy class. 

Obviously, you’d hated him to his core ever since. 

But for some reason he’d stuck around. Always kept tabs on you, always had a class with you, always found you at any party, bar, disco, literally fucking anywhere and it made you want to tear your hair out. 

He was your pretty boy kryptonite and you needed him to leave you the fuck alone.

“Oh Finny. Finny, Finnegan, fuckhead. You know I thought I’d somehow be able to avoid you tonight but it seems like my stalker persists no matter the obstacles.”

Smoke trickles from between your clenched teeth and he has the audacity to stare at your lips and grin.

Fucking grin!!!

“You wound me princess. Ain’t even gonna share that little pinner of yours, I mean the absolute cruelty of it all.”

The grins still blazing on his lips but in Finn fashion he has to play up his part. 

Clutching at his pearls, leaning against the kitchen counter like you’d just stabbed him straight through. Your eyes roll so far back in your head they almost launch themselves out of your skull. 

“No Finn, I’m not gonna share with the likes of you. Go find Will and get him to roll you one, he’s the one I got the weed from anyways. Or maybe go find some other poor unsuspecting girl to do the deed for you, but you ain’t getting shit from me. You know the rules sweet Finny: ass, cash, or grass and god only knows I ain’t taking any of those three from you.” 

You regret those last few words the second they enter the air between you.

Because Finnegan’s eyes drop straight to your mouth again and now he’s crowding you into the corner of the counter. 

“Oh sweetheart if you just let me show you what this ass can do I think you would be singing quite a different tune. You think I’m all bravado and show but you and I both know the two of us could be quite a duo. I just know you’re absolutely unreal beneath that veneer of hatred you slap on.”

He’s still staring at your lips, the joint hanging limply between them as you try and control your breath and not cough up a lung. 

Two can play this fucking game.

You take a thick drag, the tip burning bright orange and crackling like cinders and his eyes only deepen in shade. The smoke curls out and up into your nose and he stares at you his jaw dropping a little slack as you play him like the fucking fiddle he is. 

“Finn.” Your index finger trails up his arm as you ash the joint in the sink, and you can feel the muscles of his bicep twitch with the contact. “If you think I’m gonna let you touch me you’ve lost your god damn mind. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go find some peace and quiet. Away from you.”

Your voice is sticky sweet and he barely registers that you’re telling him off for the millionth time tonight until you’re traipsing out of the kitchen at lightning speed before you do something else you’ll regret. 

He got too fucking close this time around. You let him get too fucking close. 

Your feet stomp quick up the stairs to the only safe place you’d ever been able to find in this house. 

The roof. That blissful open space, like the crispest breath of fresh air it tasted almost minty. Your hands dig into your pockets looking for your weed, your lighter, and your rolling papers-

Fuck.

Of course you’d forgotten papers, predicable as always and fucking annoying as hell and you’re about to turn back down the stairs when your eyes land on something sitting on the windowsill. 

Finn’s wood pipe. 

You loved to hate it but it was his calling card. Stupid and quirky and so perfectly him that the sight of it made you heart twist just a little. 

Not that you would ever fucking admit that. 

Well beggars can’t be chooser as they say. 

It’s deceptively crisp out on the roof as you shuffle around other groups till you get to your super secret corner on the far side of the house. No one ever seems to want to venture this far and you could smoke in peace and tranquility as the rest of the party raged somewhere far, far away. 

The bowls packed, green just catching a smolder and you have to admit the stupid Sherlock Holmes pipe is kinda fun. Maybe you’d leave a fresh bowl packed for sweet Finn as a secret thank you gift. 

Maybe this weed was stronger than you thought. 

“Alrighty first you don’t share your joint, then you verbally assault me in my own house, and now you’re smoking out of my pipe? You really are trying to start a fight with me this evening now aren’t ya?”

Your eyes are red rimmed and your brain has that pleasant haze coating every synapse and you can’t find it in you anymore to really fight Finn right now. The stars look too damn good and the tree has hit too damn deep to let your hackles rise.

“You know maybe I’ve been giving you a bit of a hard time, but you damn well deserve it.” You smile around the pipe as you take another drag, but this time you pass it to Finn as he sits down just a little closer than usual. 

His fingers snag against yours as you pass it and you both flinch a bit at the contact, sparkles zipping up your arms.

He stays quiet this time around, pulling puffs as you both watch people flit around the grass below you, the party continuing into this seemingly never ending night. 

Friday’s, they really were something.

Your knees knock, fingers catching again as he passes the pipe back to you. Another pull fills your lungs and you lean back, back, back until your back presses down on the cool paneling of the roof and you let the smoke drift up and away among those pretty little stars. 

“Finn you can just be so fucking annoying sometimes, I just wanna shut you up for like five seconds so we can all take a fucking breather.”

He laughs at that. Real and deep, curling around the base of your spine as he turns to stare down at you and the feeling spreads all the way to your fingertips. All the way to your toes.

“I’m well aware, but it’s sorta a part of my charm. I’m just waiting for it to final start charming you.”

Your eyes click to his, haze lifting for a split moment, and his eyes twinkle almost brighter than the stars. 

“That’s such a fucking line and you know that shit doesn’t work on me. Fool me once and all of that jazz.” But you can’t stop staring at him and now his eyes color puzzled, a little hazy as he tries to decipher your words. “Oh come on, freshman year? You invited me to the party with all your fancy little words that you love to spin for me to only find you eating Tracy’s lips straight off her face? Honestly she still talks about that night to this day so I guess in a weird way kudos to you but man that did sting a bit.”

You chuckle around another pull and you go to pass it back but he’s clearly no longer interested in that. He seems very intent on memorizing every detail of your face under the stars and you can’t help but wiggle a little under his hyper focused gaze. 

“I-I didn’t know that you were there that night. McReynolds told me you’d left with some dude and Tracy was more than willing to fill in that blank.”

Oh fuck.

You’re both just staring at each other as moment after moment click like puzzles pieces. Every snippy comment, every lingering glance, every class, every time you just happened to run into each other all no longer strange coincidences and some secret hatred. Every little moment stitching itself together till it left just you and Finn. 

And there’s that fucking grin again.

But it’s softer this time, a little less sleazy and a little more lovely and now you’re sure his eyes are brighter than any star. 

Your own lips tick up with a soft, nervous smile.

His fingers card between yours and he brings your knuckles up to his lips, stupid mustache tickling your skin in ways that make you shiver. 

“I feel like nows the time to return to my earlier question since you finally shared some of that green with me, so what do I owe ya? Ass, cash, or more grass?”

You snort into the air between you and his grin splits into a megawatt smile and you finally let yourself tumble head first into kissing stupid, idiot, fuckhead Finnegan.

“Ass, 100%.”

~~~~~

tell me what you think if anyone is actually reading this because i'm bored and this site is lonely and i just want some weirdo friends who also think mustaches are peak sexiness. alright i need to go to sleep the psychosis is taking over :P

[vinxwatches]

watching good omen season 1

ep 1 pilot

haven't seen a lot of it, mostly that people like it, that it's made by people people really like and that it's gay (or at least people make it gay) so you know, good pick for me. and i just watched to animations/animatics on youtube with bad endings and bad endings fuck me up, so hopefully this is happier. intro is a fucking banger. also god has a fem voice? nice. accurate skin colour for the earliest humans. not surprised, but appreciated. making fun of theology and great banter? i love it.

ominous picnic basket. oh... actually quite biblically fitting it seems. i REALLY hope they don't expect me to remember these names too well. many of the characters seem fun though.

of course the american politician says bs like "a regular y chromosome son". which i'm sure has not been tested as you 1: don't know the gender yet. 2: phenotype does not denote genotype.

i wonder who and how they'll figure out who has the wrong baby. "i don't recall what horror of history we had a lunch over, but i do recall what we had." the BEST dynamic.

will they even figure out they got the wrong one? ok, i know that working with an actual 5 year old would be a nightmare... but that kid is like 12.

well done making both heaven and hell look like shit. do you want grime overpopulating or empty, liminal, office spaces?

brilliant end of episode 1.

ep 2 the book

damn the forces of hell are so bloody rude and evil. and so many quick jokes.

question: what are the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse supposed to be in christianity? both biblically and in modern belief? they are separate from devils and angels.

i love a witch that also uses an ipad in her rituals.

"sorry, right number" seriously the humour in this show is so brilliant. i really hope the story is able to match it.

ep 3 hard times

a black knight shrugging is way too funny. i love these two. just two old friends helping each other out, it's just that that's diametrically opposing one another. the angel doing some tempting, the demon some miracles. and upper management doesn't care.

awh, they are just so cute together.

excuse me you are playing intro now? 28 minutes in? that's not an intro. that's a bloody intermission!

they really succeed at making heaving seem so extremely bad. extremely wide shot or extreme close-up. it's so incredibly uncomfortable.

the prime minister has a nice flat chested fucker in his bed.... good for him if he's not cheating.

"mend it all"/"end it all" whispers. really neat.

ep 4 saturday morning funtime

of course he was condemned for nothing more then asking questions.

ah, they got rid of pestilence to replace them with pollution. it's a good change, but feels pretty pre 2020.

oh no, i find his death so sad. he had a love, why kill him? i know the apocalypse is coming but still.

i still really hope that the presidents son turns out to be trans to just break the things he said at the start. then again it wouldn't really work as it's not the kids he said it about. idk, i guess i hope of screen son turns out to be trans to spite the person that'll never know... yea i'm holding out hope for something that doesn't matter.

azi being send to heaving is SO bad. his bookshop possibly burning down is emotionally worse. it was going to be the last episode of the day. but i started watching because i couldn't deal with bad endings, so i guess i'll have to watch one more.

ep 5 the doomsday option

Azi going full rogue (finally).

man that's the most obvious cold reading ever.

the guard reads a neil gaymen book. cute.

sir... your car is... more then a little on fire.

ep 6 the very last day of the rest of their lives

are we doing a flash back episode for the last episode of the season?

oh, please let him rebuild the car just like i want the bookshop rebuild?

the way to defeat the end of the world is to believe and stand (and i hope work) for a world that wouldn't end. a bit on the nose but very nice.

and of course with Terry Pratched being involved death is not to be defeated, just not hastened along.

a kid not doing the one thing they were supposed to do.... there's a trans/gay message in there. also That's Just What Kids Do! you wanted an 11 year old to do what they were told? that's the first part of the problem.

for a TV series that's a pretty good satan. oh that is SO clever. kind of time fucking, but not really so long as you never introduce time travel so it's only true from now on. oh, is it a nicer ending then i though? YES IT IS! \o/

it "ends" as it starts: with a garden and an apple. ok, make it more explicit why don't you.

oh, you subtle bastards. i love it. other scene's now make more sense too, oh how i love it.

ok, yea it makes sense people go wild over this as it's really bloody great.

[midorigakkou]

studyblr intro!!

charlie, he/him

high school student

learning german and japanese

interests:

music! i've played piano for almost 8 years now, and i'm almost always listening to something

languages, i'm taking german for school, but i've been learning japanese on my own time

i've been trying to read more again, i'd love any recommendations :)

movies- i have been trying to pay more attention to how films are made and what techniques they use, but i do also watch them to relax

i'm starting school again soon, so i want to use this to stay on top of things. i'm not always doing the best mentally, so i want to see if doing this helps at all.

i'd love to make friends here, so feel free to interact! sorry if i'm doing anything wrong, i haven't really done anything like this before

[nutria--oscura]

Y'ALL HAVE ME SO SCARED FOR THIS (@cookies-over-yonder @officialgleamstar y'all's posts have slain me) HERE WE GO

like, i'm crting and i haven't even stareted the ep yet wtf-

~spoilers for S2 ep35 under the cut~

preface: I AM SCARED I AM CLUTCHING NICK JR (mouse/rat soft toy) ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

THE PASTA PUNS IN THE INTRO

the sound effects low-key make me wanna throw up-

update: the sound effects make me high-key wanna throw up-

the intro is the high before the storm right? oh dear~

yesss, link is a spouse to his best friends <3

gosh I missed their voices so much <333 <- literally have 100+ episodes it can listen to whenever they want

freddie correcting beth's fact is literally my best friend and i on a daily basis (whos who? we take turns)

i could listen to an entire podcast of just freddie saying facts. like genuinly

HERMIE FACT??? SCAM CONJURED HIM INTO EXISTENCE AS A HIGHSCHOOLER??? MY POOR BOI-

TJ SHOT NICK'S ARM OFF WHAAAAAAA-

TERRY :) WHAT:)?

"your time studying the blade has served you well" what is hapening?

whAT IS HAPPENING????

Terry Jr's back <333

"i did not think that's how this fight was gonna go" same will- same

hey imps? what the fu-

NORMAL'S BACK BOIIIIIIII

ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL NAT 1 HAH

SCARY AND TERRY JR <3

MEMORY TIME OH DEARRR

"in going from enemies to lovers so to speak"

all the fanfics were right- (nicky's reasoning, him attempting to reason with the others)

ron and nicky are such a vibe together honestly

OH NO- NICKY WAS SO REASONABLE TOO AND YET-

LARK AND SPARROW WITH CROSSBOWS TERRY WITH A SHOTGUN WHERE'S GRANT???

"and a badass fight ensues, but also sad"

oh there's grant

OH WE GOT THE WHOLE ASS SCENE OH SHIT-

TERRY SHOT NICKY, NICKY STABBED TERRY-

TERRY JR AND RON <33

terry's memory being ron forgiving him- (henry voice) oh gosh. oh geez-

"did you see what i did to like, my best friend" BEST F R I E N D

"you showed up, y'know?" what if i just combust?

Scary hugging Terry<333

THEY'RE ALL HUGGING

oh my heart

hey glenn, respectfully, fuck offffff

nicky having more emotional intelligence than glenn is so true-

OH HERE COMES THE GLENN AND NICKY AND TAYLOR SHIT-

"i have a memory that you weren't around for. which was the birth of your grandson" AHHHHHHH

"i always thought taylor came out real quiet. like a real stoic ninja." "nope. came out crying like a baby dude"

glenn... glENN. GLENN! NO. NOT INFRONT OF YOUR 3 DAY OLD GRANDSON

THE FANFICTIONS WERE SO RIGHT- (GLENN IN NICKY'S LIFE BEFORE THE FAITHFULL SOCCER TRIP)

brb cause im like actually crying cause of that scene-

ok... lets go... (screaming crying sobbing sliding down a wall)

JODIE VISITEDDDD

FUCKING TELL HIM NICKYYYY FUCKING TELL HIMMMM

"i remember when... was that you? yea, i remember when you were born." WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAS THAT YOU???? THAT WAS YOUR FUCKING SON

YES GLENN. REFLECT BITCH-

"i didn't see a lot of taylor's growing up, and that was- that was- we're cool now, right taylor?" "fuck yea dawgggg. well-" HERE IT COMES

I AM HEEDING THE WARNINGS

"if i'm gonna be honest dad, i've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time and you could be there for me" imma go ahead an roll a d20 of psychic damage- ah, a nat20 damage, yea that seems about righ- HIS VOICE HOW IT WENT ALL SOFT AND QUIET AND SHY AND THE COMPLETE FUCKING OPPOSITE OF HOW HE IS USUALLY OH SHIT OH FUCK

NICKY ROLL PSYCHIC DAMAGE BOI-

"as a result i have developed a number of very bad habits, that i am told are very hard to break"

"it's too late"

"but you know if there is time travel magic, then y'know maybe- or if you find it, you can maybe, pick me up on the way back to the past" HIS VOICE, THE MAYBES-

"we're just 3 cool guys" "well-"

"i didn't even know where you were"

I'M SORRY- THREE (3) YEARS????

NICKY NO- DON'T-

more memories??? MORE MEMORIES??? OH NO-

OUCH OUCH OUCH O U C H-

HE'S DONE WITH KARATE- NO- NO NO NO N O

FUCKING HELL FUCK ME-

sorry, i have strong feeling w/ regards to parents not showing up to (sprots) stuff

~a pattern~

YES LINK, STARE DAGGERS INTO HIM, DEFEND YOUR QPR BESTIE

the- the fanfics were right (glenn keeping his distance not wanting to fuck nicky up but consequentially fucking nicky up)

"as you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks. And in that moment, you and Taylor and Nick, all realise that there is no fixing this, that this is as good as it's going to get. That you are stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddymagic, that same daddymagic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate for their bodies like a fine mist coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more, cause that's what your relationship is..." what if i- what if i lost it? right here right now?

gosh i DID NOT heed the warnings oh noooooooo

i'm sorry- the US MILITARY? oh fbi too

hahahahahahahah ha hah h a what? JODIE AND MORGAN ARE IN CUFFS-

GLENN LISTEN TO JODIE FFS

"i'd like to see you try" "hey is glenn immune to bullets?"

LINK KING OF HELLL HEYYYYYYYYYY-

NORMAL NO. BESTIE I LOVE YOU HECK I AM YOU BUT FUCK NO-

"dude- both of us look at each other - fear, fear in taylor's eyes. like, what the fuck are we getting into? why did i open my mouth?" FEAR IN TAYLOR'S EYES??? FEAR????

I'M SORRY? THE CAGE????

FIGHT TO THE DEATH??? NOOOOOOOOOOO

In conclusion:

I am now obsessed with Taylor Swift (Freddie's version)

[gibbearish]

"Am I Trans?" UQuiz Masterpost

hey there folks, my pinned was getting a bit unwieldy so i figured itd be prudent to set up this landing pad for uquiz visitors. this is not the FAQ, that is still in the works, this is just the intro stuff moved to its own post.

so, with all that out of the way, welcome! my asks and messages are currently OPEN and response times are SLOW. i will be updating this post on a regular basis, so if that says open then you can rest assured it is still current. or if it's not and i forgot to update it, that's on me, not you.

before anything else, i do just want to make it extremely, deeply, incredibly, achingly, transparently clear that i am not in any way a certified / licensed gender therapist. i do not have any training, nor is there an ethics board with which you can take up a complaint if i end up misreading things. i am simply a trans person on the internet who noticed a couple years ago that there were pretty much no "am i trans" quizzes that i could find that werent uhhh let's say unhelpful, and so i made my own, using my own feelings and experiences as a starting point. i may misread you, i may project myself or previous visitors onto you, i may get frustrated with you, i may be wrong about you. i ask that you try to give me grace, to remember that i am human, and to proceed at your own risk.

i take these conversations very seriously and want to be as thorough as possible, but that takes a good deal of work / effort / energy to do well, and as i am currently over a year into a massive depressive episode, that all compounds into long response times. which i do understand can be frustrating, feeling like you're waiting for someone's permission to be yourself (although if that is how it makes you feel, consider what that might say about the answer - i am not actually holding you back from anything by not responding. you can be trans, you don't need my permission or anyone else's. only your own), but i ask for patience, and that you please refrain from spamming me every time i come online. playing stardew valley is a lot less taxing than doing bootleg internet therapy. i haven't forgotten about you, i just havent found the right words yet.

in the meantime, i would recommend a quick scroll through my #uquibberish tag, which contains any asks from other uquiz visitors as well as posts i think are thematically relevant to a lot of these conversations. who knows, maybe you'll find that the answers you seek are very similar to the answers i've given another.

one thing to note is that asks do take a good deal less mental energy to respond to given the more one-and-done nature, so responses to those will likely be faster than for DMs, however i won't be able to get as personal (unless you give me a lot to work with, please do not feel self conscious about sending long asks/messages, they really are quite helpful in terms of giving me stuff to analyze). i also sometimes get a little silly with the ask responses, however i will still always make sure to include a real answer of some sort in the tags.

that all being said, i really do need to stress the fact that i am a real person you are talking to. i am not a gender therapy chatbot and i am not paid to do this. i do this because i want to help, but in order to do that successfully, i need your help as well. i do not know you as a person beyond the things that you tell me, and i am both unable and unwilling to simply assign you a new gender, to pluck your "true" gender out of your head. usually, all i really end up doing is pointing out what things are holding you back from the answer you already know. if you are unwilling to tell me anything about your thoughts and feelings, then i'm sorry, but i'm just. not going to be able to help you out very much. figuring out who you are is something that is difficult and takes a lot of introspection, and is something that you may even never actually get a solid answer on. the question you should be asking is not "what am i, really?" but "what do i want to be? what would it make me happy to be? how would i like to exist in my time on this earth?"

now, with all of that out of the way, i do also know that it can be difficult to know where to start, so here is a rough list of things that i've found helpful in the past. you do not need to provide any of these if you are not comfortable doing so, they are here exclusively to give ideas on where to start. now, with that out of the way:

- age range: to be clear, i do not need to know your exact age and you should always be wary of someone who asks for that. that being said, a general range can be pretty helpful for me to contextualize your message to your stage of life. like, think "middle school vs. high school vs. college or older" type general range.

- similarly, what country/state you live in, and if non-US, a bit about your local political climate vis a vis trans people. once again i do not want or need your exact location and you should be wary of those who try to get it from you, but for a lot of people, the main thing holding them back from transitioning is that the world simply isn't a safe place for trans people at the moment, so knowing if that is in play can be very helpful. I am a USAmerican and have a pretty good grasp of which way the states here tend to lean, and have a much rougher grasp on other countries. I don't want to go into this with some wildly propagandized version of your home in my head and would much prefer to get my information about it from you, the person being actively affected.

- your quiz answer and how it made you feel: with this one the important part is really the second part. i said this in the quiz itself but it bears repeating, i do not have any knowledge of how to properly weight the answers in a personality test, i assigned each answer a result (or multiple results) based entirely on vibes. that being said, if you are now having a lot of complicated feelings about your result, those feelings are the ones we're going to be examining. whether you've been having these feelings for a long time or they only just recently started, if you've been quizhopping searching for an answer (and if there's been a common denominator among those answers that you're avoiding looking in the eye), what the shape of those feelings are, that's the kind of thing we're going to be looking at. don't feel bad if you can't see the feelings themselves yet, this is an exercise in finding the negative space. the thing about facing the things you don't want to face is that you don't want to face them, which sounds obvious put like that, but like. you can't look straight at the sun without the right glasses. not without hurting yourself. the things your brain hides from you, takes away your ability to look at, are hidden for a reason, there is something that is scaring you, something you are defending against, a knot that must be unraveled before we can continue unwinding the thread. it's ok if all you can do for now is point to where the knot is.

- what name you used on the quiz and what day you took it: uquiz allows you to view individual quiz taker's results so if you are comfortable with it, i'm happy to take a peek through to see if there are any trends. as i write this the quiz is sitting at good god, 13000 takers, so if you keysmashed a name unfortunately it has probably been lost to the sands of time :( that being said...

- any questions / answers that hit especially hard: here is a link to a google doc where i've compiled all the questions and answers as reference, so this way if we can't find your quiz or you don't want to share the whole thing, we still have a pretty good starting point on which parts apply to you (side note, i also have a feedback form, however i couldnt think of very many specific questions to ask so just put in two textboxes for you to put your suggestions in)

- family dynamics: as with the country of origin question, something that can hold a lot of trans people back from transitioning is pressure from their family to. well. to not do that, so knowing if that is contributing can be very helpful

- friend dynamics: same as above, some people are held back by the potential reaction of their friendgroup, or alternatively are certain their friends would react positively but still can't shake that feeling, and figuring out if that fear is warranted can be a huge stepping stone in this.

that's all i have for now, though this post may be subject to changes as time goes on. as i said before i am also (slowly) working on a FAQ, so hopefully soon we'll have a way to bridge the response time gap. in the meantime, i hope this was helpful, and i do again highly recommend taking a look through the #uquibberish tag to see if any past questions/answers might apply to you as well. thanks!

(last edited 9/8/24)

[manonamora-if]

Retrospective 2023 (3)

Haven't looked at numbers in a minute, and since my presence online has been super inconsistent (especially here) recently, I have no idea how this will end up looking. I've updated this sheet a couple of time during the year, but not in a way it tracks old numbers... Because Tumblr has a limit of 20 images per post, I won't include the graphs here, like I did last year, but in this doc (for those interested). Also, I realised I didn't even do celebration posts for milestones this year... And there were quite a few ;-; sorry

For the relevant projects, I've also included a more detailed recap of what's been done this year. All of it is under the cut.

The projects are ordered in date of release.

Forewarning, those stats are not a good representation of IF/Tumblr popularity. The numbers should not be taken as a baseline for comparison. There are many different factors that resulted in those, most of them being out of everyone’s control. I am only comparing myself to Past-Me.

2021 Releases

Status: Complete.

No major updates, since the game is complete. Only some maintenance fixes. The source code of older versions is also available on my GitHub.

Stats:

5.475 total plays (+1.7k-ish)

30 ratings (+5), with an average of 4.4/5 (+0.1)

Inside 316 collections (+108)

Almost 2.3 views/play (+0.1)

Unsurprisingly, the interest for MtP is going down. The game is complete, has not and will not have new updates. It would surprise me if it would gain any traction at this point. I expect the additional plays not to pass 600 by the end of 2024.

2023 Milestones:

5k plays

30 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

I wanted to have an update for this project in 2023. It didn't happen. There is actually quite a bit of work to do in the code, which I had started but didn't complete.

Stats:

40.326 total plays (+12k-ish)

97 (+28), with an average of 4.6/5 (-0.1)

Inside 2.679 collections (+913)

About 2.0 view/play (+0.1)

For a year without any update, I am honestly surprised so many people still played the game this year (average of 30 plays/day). I'm very grateful about it, nonetheless. Hopefully, I'll have something to show for this year!

2023 Milestones:

30k + 40k plays

75 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

This was another project I had planned to complete this year and... didn't. I managed to write a bit for the game, but nothing that would warrant an update.

Stats:

2.203 total plays (+760)

13 ratings (+2), with an average of 4.3/5 (+0.1)

Inside 126 collections (+38)

Went to 2.9 view/play (+0.2)

There were a few jumps in interest in Exquisite Cadaver this year, especially considering there were, once again, no updates (especially at the start of April). But nothing very substantial... I'm honestly pretty happy peeps still enjoy the game, because the whole thing is a bit strange xD

2023 Milestones:

2k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

2022 Releases

Status: Completed

Absolutely nothing has been happening with this game, not even a bug fix or anything. When I get back to this project, it will be for a complete re-haul. Which won't happen in a long while.

Stats:

3.205 total plays (+790-ish)

19 ratings (+4), with an average of 4.3/5 (=)

Inside 293 collections (+90)

About to 2.2 view/play (+0.1)

2023 Milestones:

3k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Completed

There was a plan to fix the issues in the game AND add new content. But, if you've followed me this year, you've seen... nothing happened! Honestly, a whole re-code of the game is needed at this point.

Stats:

1.458 total plays (+785)

16 ratings (+6), with an average of 4.5/5 (+0.3)

Inside 103 collections (+59)

About 2.1 view/play (=)

The lack of blowing up stands on two things: the game is not that good... and I don't really have an intro post peeps can share...

2023 Milestones:

1k plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Ongoing

Out of all the WIPs I have, this one got the most progress. It got two major updates during the first half of the year (one of which included a maze!). The second had been spent working especially on Chapter 5 (it's a chunker) and starting Chapter 6 (for MelS). We are trying to wrap up the project for 2024.

Stats:

9.379 total plays (+6.4k-ish) (so close…)

56 (+28) ratings, with an average of 4.8/5 (=)

Inside 783 collections (+444)

About 1.9 view/play (+0.1)

A pretty decent growth for the game, though it is not always consistent. Most interest in the project happens during updates (duh), with some dozen returning players weekly. I don't think it will ever reach the level of CRWL, but it is doing pretty well considering the genre.

2023 Milestones:

5k plays

50 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Completed(-ish)

Until the first anniversary of this project (coinciding with the EctoComp once more) this game was in French only. Since last October, it was re-written to include more rooms inside the house, and a proper ending beat. It was then translated into English, and the whole thing was recoded. There are still a few kinks I need to handle, but it is essentially complete.

Stats:

252 total plays (+181)

1 rating with 5 stars (=)

Inside 13 collections (+7)

About 4.9 view/play (-0.7)

Unsurprisingly, there was little to no interest in the game. The page was visited a bunch of times, but few people clicked (probably because it was in French. Since the translation, more users have checked out the game and played it. I don't really expect much more interest from players, unfortunately...

2023 Milestones:

100 + 250 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW Oh... it doesn't have a page... omg.. stpid me.

Status: Completed

This year, the game was re-edited, translated to French, and recoded - a proper remaster including sound! And another game I can call complete and shelved!

Stats:

605 total plays (+270-ish)

10 ratings (+3), with an average of 4.8/5 (+0.1)

Inside 31 collections (+17)

About 3.2 view/play (+0.1)

I am not shocked to see this, honestly. It's a short meme game around a gimmick mechanic that gets old pretty quickly. Still, some interest made in late last June (somehow???) and when I published the remaster in autumn.

2023 Milestones:

500 plays

10 ratings

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Ongoing

At the start of the year, I updated this game to add a tiny bit of content (a few passages) and ensured it could be played on mobile. And published a template from this UI.

There was more content written for the game, as well as mechanics coded, but nothing is coherent enough (or devoid of bugs) to be playable.

Stats:

500 total plays (+333 !!!)

4 ratings (+4), with an average of 5.0

Inside 39 collections (+28)

About 3.0 view/play (+0.5)

Combined a tiny demo with a pre-set character, a not super popular genre, not much to do or little replayability... and you get this. I'll just check back when the game is actually complete :P Honestly, I'm just glad some peeps caught the inspiration for P-RIX.

2023 Milestones:

500 plays !!!!

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW (oh and it has both an intro post and an IFDB page now!)

2023 Releases

Now that we are going into the new releases, there is less comparing, and more putting down the base.

Status: Completed

Biggest high of this year! Released the game in January, won the comp in March, was interviewed shortly after, remastered the whole thing during the summer break (which included a total re-haul of the UI, an English translation, and increased content). Hands down my best game of the year.

Stats

967 total plays

7 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 68 collections

About 3.1 view/play

Lots of views on the game page without plays for the longest time, because, up until the remaster, the game was only available in French. Things picked up then the remaster was uploaded (though it coincided with the IFComp). The game is also not available for mobile play due to its interface...

2023 Milestones:

Won the French Comp!

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Hiatus

The first Act of the story was created for the SeedComp! (which didn't win anything because I organised it, and it would have been unfair :P ). There was a plan to complete the game after the SeedComp! was over, but that didn't pan out. I have notes for it, though a re-write of Act 1 may be necessary...

Stats:

633 total plays

5 ratings, with an average of 3.6

Inside 46 collections

About 2.6 view/plays

While bummed by the average, Not surprised. The game is incomplete and plays on the noir codes, which are... something (also the twist is silly). I'll pay a bit more attention to it when the game is actually complete :P Also... It never got an intro post....

2023 Milestones:

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Complete

Released for the SpringThing in the Main Garden, this game was supposed to be updated by the end of last year and... it ended up needed a lot more work than expected. I am still working on it. This was my attempt in experimenting with Twine, creating a parser with a non-parser program. It... didn't work all that well as a conventional parser, but it worked pretty well for other peeps.

Stats:

650 total plays

5 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 56 collections

About 2.8 view/plays

Honestly, not bad considering this is a weird parser, that worked eh and still has some issues. I won't ever expect it to blow up, honestly, but it's nice to see a play or two popup on my screen sometimes.

2023 Milestones

100 + 250 + 500 plays

PLAY | INTRO POST | RATE | REVIEW

Status: Complete-ish

Created for a French Jam where I could not choose the program, the game was then upgraded and translated into English for the Text Adventure Literacy Jam a few weeks later. It was my first proper parser game (and made with Adventuron). I still need to fix some issues and typos with the English version, and retranslate back into French...

Stats: The game has currently two pages: French and English

160 (58+88) total plays

4 ratings, with an average of 5.0 and 4.0

Inside 4 collections

About 2.8 view/plays

No surprise here. Parsers are not popular on itch. (I should maybe add it to the textadventure.co.uk website....)

PLAY FR - EN | INTRO POST | RATE FR - EN | REVIEW

Assets and Other Tiny Games

Loads happened with this sections this year, with the addition of 5 new templates, and a whole Guide for SugarCube.

In January, the Setting Template was added - with the Space-Tech UI one following at the end of March, the VN-lite UI one in July, the Character Creator in November, and the Title Page UI in December.

The Guide was released in two periods, with a pre-release before the summer, and a complete one mid-december (which included a download point).

As of last month, all templates are also available on Github, and the Guides are all "playable" on itch.

CScript to SugarCube Guide/Folder

105 downloads (114 plays)

4 rating at 5 stars

Inside 36 collections

Get it here.

Tweego Ready to Use Guide

425 downloads (51 plays)

1 rating at 5 stars

Inside 6 collections

Get it here

Note: this guide got its own page in November of this year, despite being available since 2022

SugarCube Guide

1.300 "plays" (76 download)

11 ratings at 5 stars

Inside 102 collections

Get it here

Templates

2105 downloads

25 ratings, with an average of 5.0

Inside 274 collections

Get them here

After the release of Le Jeu de la Dévotion in late December 2022, I've been participating in other game jams with tiny entries. While one did get a bit more interaction than even my larger piece (Collision, wtf), little really happened to warrant a proper section (they are really tiny!).

And so these were released:

April 2023: À la Campagne [English]

June 2023: Clarence Street, 14, Collision, Intersigne [English + French]

Aug 2023: Le Diner [English]

Oct 2023: In the Blink of an Eye [English + French]

Nov 2023: Tower of Sleep [English] <- BINKSI :D

Dec 2023: Dévoiement [French]

2023 Overall Graph

Ok I lied, one graph:

Compared to last year, the graph is less very high peaks and very low down time (with a slow increase), but a more consistent base (higher than last year) with some moderate peaks for releases (namely Harcourt's and DOL-OS). The downloads have boomed, but that's because of the templates...

The increase of overall small releases (with jam/comp entries) probably helped in this staying a bit consistent (though I could do a better job at hyping up releases before and after they happen here and in other places). It would probably have looked much different if my release focus was somewhere else (like CRWL).

And that's it for stats (I'm skipping the follower/note counts)! The 2024-plan is next!

[ash5monster01]

Lessons of You Part 7

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, mentions of depression, mentions of smut, broken reader, 18+

Summary: Blake Parker was used to running. When life got hard, she’d run. The idea of sticking around to end up broken was scarier then she’d like to admit. So she hid away, cut all ties, and lived contently on her own. She was done running because no one could find her there. That is until a Navy Pilot runs into her life, and she learns allowing yourself to love can be scary, but hiding from it can be even worse.

a/n: I’m soooo sorry it’s been so long. I dropped that smutty chapter and literally dipped. The Fourth of July is the busiest time of the year for me so I was preoccupied with that but here is the newest chapter. sadly our story is coming to a close, I have a feeling the next chapter will be the last. thank you so much for coming on this journey with me and reading along xx

word count: 1,871

Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Final

Masterlist

It had been two days since Blake had heard from Bradley. She tried not to worry but it was hard. Going from a week of Bradley texting her every chance he got to being in her bed the night before he left, it was hard to go to complete radio silence. She tried to remind herself she knew nothing about the mission. Bradley never once mentioned how long it would be, how many days it could take, how far away it was, nothing. She prayed that it just meant he was still busy and serving his country. She had no other way to contact anyone to make sure he was alive. She kind of knew Phoenix but she didn’t have her number, and she could go back to the Hard Deck but if they had lost someone why would they have any need to be celebrating at a bar? So she waited and prayed that if she ever did recieve word it would be good news.

After her night with Bradley she had texted her Mom informing her she was ready to move back. Her Mom had already found an apartment, searching before Blake had even decided. It was a perfect little place and it reminded her very much of the one she was in now. The minute she gave her Mom the go ahead they got it all worked out, her Dad already fixing things in the apartment that it needed. So now Blake's life consisted of boxes, not many considering she didn't have much, but there was still stuff to be packed and taken with her on her self discovery journey. The idea of being home was exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. She just hoped that when it was time for her to go Bradley will have returned.

"Almost done packing as we speak" Blake told her Mom over the phone as she looked at the living room stuffed with boxes. Her apartment had come completely furnished so majority of the boxes was clothes, bedding, and some dishware. Considering she did the same thing every day and didn't socialize much that wasn't even a lot either. Majority of the boxes were filled with books. Once she had finished she was surprised to realize what a small mark of hers she had left on San Diego, it was as if she took up no space at all.

"Are you excited, we can't wait to see you" her Mom cheered on the phone and Blake smiled, because she was excited but nerves twinged in her stomach over Bradley.

"Yeah, I can't wait" but her Mom heard it in her voice, and she knew something was wrong. She prayed she wasn't changing her mind.

"It doesn’t sound like it" Blake sighed and pressed a hand to her head.

"I am Mom, I promise. It's just I haven't heard from Bradley and last I knew he was picked for some dangerous mission. I will be more enthusiastic once I know he is safe" her parents knew of Bradley, considering he was the only thing to happen in her life recently that was worth talking about. The attractive Navy pilot with a heart of gold who brought their daughter back to them. They would be forever indebted to him for that.

"I'm sure he's fine sweetheart, he's trained for these type of things and they wouldn't of chosen him if they didnt think there would be a chance of him not coming back home" Blake nodded because she knew her Mom was right, she just needed to hear his voice. One last goodbye with the guy who made her whole again. He was a life lesson she needed, the one she was waiting for. The thing about life lessons though was usually after you learn them you don't need it anymore. That thought terrified her, because Bradley is the only reason she had felt something for the first time in years.

"I know, I just worry that maybe something did happen and not a single soul knows to contact me. Maybe he didn't make it and I would never know and have to come back home wondering whatever happened to the Navy Pilot I kind of fell for" this was Blake's first time admitting to any feelings at all, but Bradley was the first person to make her heart start beating in a long time and she couldn't just leave without knowing if he was okay.

"Blake honey, people are meant to be in our lives for a reason. Whether it's forever or only for one reason. Bradley met you for a reason and maybe you weren't meant to see him again, but it you are you'll know. Now don't worry so much, he is a professional after all" Blake sighed as she said this before nodding despite the fact her mother couldn’t see her.

"I'm gonna finish packing, I'll call you later Mom" Blake told her, not wanting to cry because she knew her Mom was right. Her Mom was trying to not break her heart if Bradley did never return. She would just have to remember him as something good that helped her through a rough patch of her life.

"Okay, be safe" her Mom responded and Blake ended the call uninterested in hearing anymore of letting Bradley go. She just wasn’t quite ready to pretend that the short time spent with Bradley was just that. A small shared moment between two broken people who helped each other learn that life goes on and it is as good as you make it.

It didn't take long to finish packing. She didn't have a lot and once she shut the last box she realized that there was nothing more to occupy her time then worry about Bradley. So even though she had told the publishing company she needed a few days she grabbed her latest shelf read and made her way to the porch to try and finish it. The sound of waves crashing, seagulls cawing, and kids screams from the beach was able to drown out her thoughts as she escaped into a different world. That was until she noticed the male lead in the book was an awful lot like Bradley. Dark and mysterious yet so full of love.

"Here I was thinking you'd be waiting at the door for me, worry all over you face, and instead I find you out here reading. Typical" Blake dropped the book in her hands, whipping around to see the beautiful mustached man standing in her doorway. She must've not heard the front door.

"Bradshaw!" without even realizing tears fell down her cheeks as she rushed towards him, him instantly engulfing her in a hug. "I was so worried, I didn't know what to think or who to call"

"It's okay, I'm here now" he comforted her, a hand running down her back and he instantly felt guilty knowing what had just happened on his mission.

"Was everything successful?" she asked, now backing away and holding his face in her hands.

"Yes, of course there were a few hiccups but we didn't lose any lives" he told her, afraid to tell her the hiccup was him pretty much sacrficing himself. Yet Blake saw all the guilt all over his face, her eyebrows instantly drawing together.

"You almost didn't make it?" she whispered, a thumb pressing out the crease in his forehead.

"Uncle Pete, Maverick took a hit for me and his plane went down. I couldn't just leave him so I went down after him" Blake gasped just slightly, possibilities running through her head like wildfire.

“You could have died” Blake fought the tears that threatened to run down her face, she didn’t want to be upset because he was here now. Right in front of her.

“I know, I know. I wasn’t thinking, just I saw him get hit for me. I thought I was a goner, and then I realized that when he went down for me that was the last family I had and if I didn’t do something I’d never forgive myself” Bradley told her, hands gripping her wrists as he tried to tell her everything was okay.

“Is he okay?” she asked and a smile cracked across his face.

“Yeah, lucky bastard and a little help from Hangman later but we both made it” he grinned at her and she chuckled, just knowing Hangman would hold that over him forever.

“I thought if you died I’d never know, I had no one to contact. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself while you were gone” Blake finally admitted and a tear rolled down his cheek at her confession.

“I gave Phoenix your number, she had specific instructions to call if I didn’t make it and give you any information you needed” Blake drew her eyebrows together in confusion.

“But you went down, they thought you and Pete were dead. She never called” Bradley chuckled through his tears, smile on his face.

“She knew I was still out there, I’m a tough asshole” Blake chuckled and shook her head as she pulled him back into another hug.

“Okay enough death talk, I’m just glad you’re here” she told him and he nodded on top of her head, arms wrapped around her waist.

“I saw the boxes in the living room” he said, immediately noticing the house was emptier than before when he arrived.

“Yeah. I um, found an apartment back home” she said pulling back, her eyes searching his face for a reaction.

“When do you leave?” he asked and Blake sighed, knowing it was too fast, that they only had such little time together.

“Tuesday” Two days. That was it. Two days and then she would be halfway across the country.

“Wow” was all he could bring himself to say, letting the information sink in despite the fact he wanted to pretend she’d be here forever.

“I know we only got a short time together but you taught me that you can lose people at any moment, life is full of regrets, and one of them shouldn’t be staying away from loved ones when you still have a chance to love them” Bradley smiled, happy he was able to give her that. Even if they knew each other for a small period of time, they still learned so much from one another.

“I’m happy I could show you that, you helped me too you know. I probably never would’ve allowed my Uncle back into my life if it wasn’t for you. So now when you leave I still have someone here for me” Blake smiled and hugged the boy tight again, knowing that this conversation felt final. Knowing that despite how hard they try, being across the country from each other wouldn’t keep them together.

“So, what’re you doing for the next two days?” Blake asked, her voice vibrating against his chest and Bradley chuckled, a wide smile spread across his face.

“Spending them with you, if you’ll let me” he told her and Blake smiled, her head tilting up to look at him.

“You don’t have to ask for permission anymore big B”

Taglist: @emma8895eb @aemondssiut

comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[linolinoing]

it's actually insane to me that charles has comparable if not more line distribution than the boys combined... like how does ONE person have almost the same amount as EIGHT members and he's just the feature. from their intro video where they talk about it, it breaks my heart that they think they had to do this to get recognition here in the US. i became a stay after seeing them at gcf when i was there for someone else so their own music speaks for itself. i'm scared the single will be on the album for the upcoming comeback and i'm scare they will lose their touch for the take of western validation or making it big here. we've seen it with an act like bts and i feel like now jype is trying to follow their lead to attempt for that same kind of success. i'm actually heartbroken for the guys and fuck div1/jype bc i can't even imagine the bs they got into their head with about breaking out in the west

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I just got home!

He definitely has way more lines for my liking because I would prefer he didn't have any but stays don't get to smile so... Tbh I think that's how collabs usually work, it's probably around half him and half skz, but since there's 8 members it seems like he sings more.

Still, this collaboration is getting more and more disappointing by the day. Idk how stays can still support it when there hasn't been one good thing about it. Not one but two whole zionists in the credits, puth has been saying and doing disgusting things for years, he barely acknowledged the song, doesn't seem to care about it and he is already posting about his upcoming single and album. I haven't listened to the whole song, but judging by the teasers, it sounds like the most basic puth song ever, skz are more than capable of making amazing songs without leeches like him.

I haven't watched the intro but that sounds really sad. One of the main reasons skz gained so many fans is the fact that 3racha are the main producers and songwriters. They follow their own path and have their own distinct sound. So to think such a bland artist like puth is the only way skz can get recognition in the usa makes no sense to me. Especially since they're already very big there, they're already gathering stadiums, and all tickets for their day at lolla are sold out. They're headlining at the biggest festivals while puth has been irrelevant for a long time.

It's very valid to be concerned about the direction jype/rr is taking skz. I have no problem with skz trying new sounds, or if they want to release an english song or album, but not how it's happening now. If jype/rr wanted a viral song in the usa so bad they could've done it in better ways.

I saw someone say they made this song in the song camp with puth so I'm little worried that this song might be not the only one, maybe next time it won't have puth as a feature, but still produced by him or that other man.

I never really deep dived into bts, but I liked some of their songs, and around the time butter came out i just lost interest in them tbh. Mostly cuz of the way their fans were acting. The thing about big fandoms like armys and stays is that there are a lot of different people, with different views, yet loudest ones have created a reputation for armys as bullies, racists, sexists and so on. They harass and doxx ppl, they're always up in everyone's business, trending hateful tags, full of akgaes and most importantly have no morals whatsoever. And well this year *someone* is moving exactly the same. And this collab just proves where stays as a fandom are heading. Even tho there's a lot of people who still have morals unfortunately the loudest ones are creating a very negative image for both stays and skz. Btw on twt whenever armys are trying to educate others armys about the hybe boycott they face the same hate and 'yOu ArE aN aNtI yOu ShOuLd lEaVe tHe FaNdOm' as stays do now.

Those big companies almost never prioritise artists and their ideas or fans, they want more money, so they will keep pushing more of what makes them that money. And kpop stans are the perfect audience for this. Cuz at least half is obssesed with their fave to the concerning levels, and companies use that for their own benefit. Bubble, fancalls and etc help to create the illusion that kpop idols are your best friends and boyfriends. Remember how some stays were genuinely upset and heartbroken when Chris "broke up" with them, called him toxic, manipulative, hated him, cried on tt about it, that's not normal. When you're that invested in the parasocial relationship you're gonna end up hurt. Our brains and nervous system are experiencing stress whether it's a real thing happing or just our imagination. It's not healthy to be so dependent on the artist and creating a bond with someone who doesn't know you exist.

And in order to continue living in this imaginary world, people are willing to throw away whatever morals they have left in them. That's why they get so angry when you try to interfere with it, they need their faves to be *perfect*. As much as I love skz, the success of a kpop group will never be more important to me than my own values.

And just a reminder to everyone that if you don't support this collab, it doesn't mean you're sabotaging skz, nor does it make you an anti. If you feel overwhelmed by everything going on in the fandom, it's okay to take a break, it's okay to just enjoy skz's music without obsessing over charts and streams. Just take your time and do what's best for you! 🫂

This got so fucking long for no reason I'm so sorry 😭

[unforth]

Alright instead of rageposting about white people perpetuating racism problems in cnovel/cdrama fandoms I've channeled my feels into cleaning up some shit I've been doing a bad job at maintaining and feeling horribly guilty about for months or even years. This is probably a healthier use of my current "fuck it." So, for reference, I've:

deleted the kink meme part of the DMBJ kink meme on AO3. This means that the prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone (I'm sorry I didn't give people time to save their prompts, but the reason I didn't do this months ago was that it had many steps and I was being useless about DOING those steps and as I said in the intro paragraph, I'm now at "fuck it" and like. if I can't do it "the right way" I'm today just breaking and doing it "the wrong way" and here we are). The collection and the ten stories in it still exists and anonymity and such are still maintained for people who wanted it, but new prompts and new fills cannot be submitted.

ditto the above for the kink meme part of the SPN kink meme on AO3. The prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone. I also removed myself administrating the Tumblr, though the other two people involved (fpwoper and envydean) do still have access. I realized belatedly that I really should have offered to just leave and let them have it but, again, today is apparently "fuck it" day which means I'm not thinking through the ramifications of my actions which has resulted in some bad fandom citizenry behavior on my part, and again, I truly do apologize. (I've offered to help them reconstruct the challenge part if either of them wants to run it; fpwoper has already said no, I'll see what envydean says and I'll apologize profusely even more and do what I can do fix things if envydean DOES want to take over and make it active again). The collection and the stories written for it still exist; that's about 40 works. Thanks to everyone who participated.

I left @saawek's Star of Solitude event, which I helped run a year and a half ago. Saawek hasn't really been active on Tumblr, but hun if you see this it's nothing at all about you or TGCF I'm just pulling back from things that even seeing them in my blog list has been causing me stress on the daily.

I formally announced that I'll be consolidating @zhenhunartreblogs and @dmbjartreblogs in @cnovelartreblogs, and I've posted to that effect in all three blogs. If you want Zhenhun/Guardian and DMBJ art content from my sideblogs, unfollow the old blogs and follow at cnovelartreblogs, and just black list fandoms you're not interested in - that's the whole reason I tag everything.

I deleted another side blog I haven't been using.

I'm considering deleting @memesforwriters, which I only update maybe once a month, and honestly just typing all this up has I think tipped me over into "fuck it" and I'm going to delete that too. I expect I'll instead reblog relevant memes to the @duckprintspress account, since I have to maintain that regardless.

My last remaining completely inactive Tumblr sideblog is where I'd posted on translated chapter the 2ha manhua. I really would like to be doing more work like that, though hell if I know when I'll have time; I renamed that blog to @unforthfantranslations, and I have vague hopes to translate more of 2ha and to tackle Lie Huo Jiao Chou (which I've never read any version of and would like to). But tbh I probably won't manage any progress on any of that until the fall.

Nothing like a pile of grief to make me say "I'm done feeling guilty about this stuff, like is too short, fuck it I'm gonna make these changes I've been waffling about for ages."

P. S. I opened another window to check how exactly I'd renamed the translation blog and while I had it opened I decided on a compromise with memesforwriters, which is that I'm exporting it, and THEN I'll delete it. And I DMed the Destiel Harlequin mods that I'm done and think we should shut it down. And I spotted a couple Discord servers I'm going to leave.

So yeah. that's the mood today in a (rather large and overly wordy) nutshell.

Apparently when I said yesterday that I'd be quiet, I failed to take into account how I ACTUALLY process grief. In my defense, this is only the...fourth?...time someone I really care about has died in my entire life. (counts of...Arthur, Gil, my grandfather, yeah that's three...of course other people I've cared about have died but no one who I loved and who I felt "I wish I had more time with this person." Like...I wish I'd had more time with Belle but I didn't love her...yeah I'm just babbling now I'm sorry I'm like this today.)

ETA: okay I just left like 6 Discord servers I haven't been using, too. There's only one I'm still like "maybe I shouldn't..." but I know a lot of people in that server and if I really want back in I can ask for invite.

[propaganda101]

Intro Post. Welcome to my twinsted mind

Hi I'm Rex. He/Its, 18, Scottish, trans guy, autistic, disabled and a myriad of other issues

I do: Art, Music, Photography, Videography, Writing, Poetry, Sewing (I can't but I've been trying for 7 years so I think it counts)

One thing you should know. If you are here after seeing fanart I am sorry I am an oc artist first and foremost those fuckers own me

My art is under #my art, oc stuff is under #my ocs, music is under #music

Oc specific tags:

#Chaos Reigns [CR] - My longest running story which I currently have no idea what to do with. It's mostly vibes I think.

#Angelic Rehabilitation Project - An angel hears God claim he will start Armageddon early if humans continue to repeat their mistakes and refuse to change. This angel, taking pity on mankind, decides to round up a group of some of the worst humans on earth to help them redeem themselves. To then use them as a way to prove god wrong. The group of humans is insane and the angel's idea of redemption is warped. Humanity is fucked.

#you are what you eat [yawye] - Split up between 3 different protagonist, this is a petri dish of unhealthy coping mechanisms and fucked up dynamics. It's what I do best.

#Project: Sin-Eater - Super new and still very in development. The head of the NYC mafia dies and his underlings are left trying to figure out what happened.

TTRPG Character tags:

#camp psyoynx - My homebrew dnd game for two of my friends. It is a quarter fun camp shenanigans and the rest is unending agony. Haven't posted any of the stuff of my pcs I've done bc they don't know abt this acc and it feels weird lmao. Btw if either of you are reading this do NOT click on this tag. Bc spoilers and also other things.

#ada sonata - My VtM character. Tremere/Bagger. 50/50 chance she will be dead in a session. I love her she has broken the masquerade twice and killed 8 people i am not good at VtM.

#Dolly Auclair - Character for my friend's Candela campaign. Face/Magician. She's owns a cafe, has a daughter and is completely fucking insane.

#Dante Quin - My VtM backup. Lasombra/Extortionist. For the 50/50 scenario where Ada dies and eats shit.

#neo miu nova - World's number 1 idol! In some universe anyway. Went from DND character to my mascot. She's also got a dead body inside her.