#I haven't done an intro in years i'm so sorry

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

I. “the club within the club”

read on AO3 🦇 taglist 📣

parts: next

plot: Bruce Wayne is an angsty mess and you get thrown right into his tornado when you accidentally discover his secret identity.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+ MATURE! NSFW! canon-typical violence, slow burn, enemies to lovers, angst (with a happy ending!), fluff, hurt/comfort, forced proximity, eventual smut, mutual pining, dual POV, Bruce Wayne needs a hug, mental health issues (psychosis, suicidality), substance use, blackmail (or is it?), serious health issues, grief, brief mention of sa (does not occur), gaslighting, torture

words: 2.4k

a/n: this is my first fic i’ve posted to tumblr and ao3, very excited to see how people like it ✨ same user on ao3 :) comments and reblogs are so appreciated! 💖 'the batman' and 'the penguin' are canon in this fic <3 i'll do warnings at the front ends of chapters when there's potential for the penguin spoilers, and for any of the more intense cw!

"I haven't turned in the assignment yet, I'm so sorry," you fumbled with your book and it slipped forward on the desk. Already a week late, the assignment was to write a piece on happenings around the city—the city was used loosely, because it was school policy to not require students in the field for assignments. You never lingered on what might have caused the rule to be enforced.

Dr. Vry was usually the picture of impatience, but not now. Though you couldn’t see the ‘journalistic prodigy’ frame she placed you in, she had a soft spot for you. Late work, stained sweatpants and haphazardly-stapled papers didn’t exactly scream talented, but you wouldn’t complain with your grade hanging in the balance. While you’d done well in the intro courses, more complex material left you struggling. She would say it was all in your head.

You’d never been great at people, though you’d tried—even going so far as to major in them. Four years of sociology had left you still tripping over yourself. You’d wanted to pivot with your last few credits, but were unaware how much grief taking journalism electives would cause. 

"You’re overthinking it." The professor gently shook her head, her salt and pepper hair unmoving in the slick bun. "I'll extend it until the end of next week. After that it's out of my hands!" 

With that (and a thousand thanks), you hurried out of class with your book squeezed tightly to your chest. Thank god, you thought. Can’t fail my last term.

Evening rain pounded your tiny apartment window as you nibbled at leftover takeout. The Family Meal was a steal you were too broke to ignore, even if the chow mein became a bit chewy for your tastes at day three. With your free hand you texted Mar, but knew she was out clubbing. How the hell she’d managed an early graduation with her social life was beyond you. How you’d landed in her orbit when you transferred, and that she’d accepted you as a friend, was an even greater mystery. 

Less of a mystery after endless nights sharing said Family Meal amidst midnight reruns, but nevertheless.

You stared at your dry phone for a few seconds, letting your mind numb against the backdrop of the ever-present monsoon of Gotham. Companionship was a dream long forgotten; the sting of loneliness here was too great, and since you planned to leave the second that degree slipped into your hands, it was no use forging new connections. 

Mar had snuck her way into a crack in the first few months of your arrival. Back when you thought you might find something here; back before you were proven wrong, and you’d given up on this godforsaken city. Leaving everything behind hadn’t filled the void, but you couldn’t accept that it might’ve deepened it. 

Mar didn't usually respond but tonight, she did.

Get your ass to the club! I miss you.

You chuckled a little at the idea of getting all ready to be sweaty in a room full of strangers. 

No thanks, have fun!

Within a second she’d disliked your message and sent another: You'll find more inspo here than in your studio. I'm sending a taxi, be ready in 10

You groaned and threw the phone down. It nearly fell off the couch entirely, forcing a wince. Ugh. A club? On a Friday? 

Men in Gotham were nasty, taking every opportunity to get something from a woman. Plastered across downtown were blistered posters with a faded number to report drink tampering. You should have expected as much with the city's reputation, but coming from a small town left you naive with hope many didn’t deserve. 

The day's exhaustion had worn your resolve and the longer you thought about her text, the closer you were to giving in. More inspiration... she might be right. Stifling a sigh, you glanced around your empty walls and noted the waning light outside. 

Fine, only for an hour.

You reluctantly walked to your closet to pick your outfit, bemoaning the night ahead. 

Fifteen minutes later, you found yourself shivering under your apartment patio in a dark mini dress. Mascara and gloss had been the only options, because you’d thought your driver might actually be on time. 

Staring out at flashing headlights threatened a migraine, so you whipped out your phone and logged onto Scypher, a Gotham-area social platform. Mar teased that you were an adrenaline junkie with how often you stalked the ‘Crime’ tab, occasionally grabbing your phone “to see if the loading screen burned in yet”.

Pretty empty. Some car vandalisms, a fire likely caused by some teens with too much time on their hands. Hmm. As unease pricked your skin, you reminded yourself that this was good, this was great. Wouldn’t want to go out during a crime surge. 

You looked up as you heard a tire tempt the curb. The driver called your name, and you slunk into the backseat. The leather was cold, rough, and generally uninviting. Classic Gotham.

The drive was quick, passing clubs practically on every corner. When he pulled up to one of the most elite clubs in the city, cold flashed through you. “I’m sorry, my friend must have given you the wrong directions—”

"It’s correct." He was stern, and when you started taking out cash, he waved a dismissive hand toward you. "Your friend already paid." 

Flustered, and frankly confused he hadn't sneakily accepted double payment, you staggered out. He barely waited for the door to shut before slamming the gas. Mar would get an earful.

The line wasn't too long, so you fell into step behind a few people laughing hysterically. On instinct, your eyes dropped first to their hands—empty—then their pockets—green. Tinfoil. Right. Dropheads. Harmless, but annoying in their glassy-eyed, inconsiderate bliss. Why couldn’t they popularize a drug that made you quiet and subdued, not screeching outside apartment buildings in the middle of the night?

You paused, the harsh reflection of your frown in an oil-slicked puddle challenging your cynicism. At least they were happy, too busy enjoying themselves to notice the stranger scowling behind. What would that be like to be completely out of your own mind? 

God, it seemed like a fucking vacation.

The line moved fast so you didn't have time to find an excuse to leave. You held out your card to the burly, tall bouncer who gave you a once-over and a smirk. Sexual harassment this time, or being denied entry for an out of state ID? No one moved to this city. No one but you. 

He handed your things back, and held out a hand for the club fee. Shit. A nervous look over his shoulder displayed a menacingly-Sharpie’d sign requiring $50 entry, and you managed three crumpled twenties from the bottom of your bag. He smiled, yanking open the rusty door for you. “No change.”

Well, guess I'm eating ramen this week.

Your ears began ringing the second you entered the club, glass-shatteringly loud speakers shoving the bass into your organs. People were packed in like sardines, and before you could even muster a thought you were grabbed fast from behind.

"Y/n!!!" Mar wrapped you in a hug while you tried to steady yourself. 

"Shit, Mar,"

"You look SO good! Fuck yeah!" She smiled and smacked your ass as she led you towards the stairs. You hadn't gotten much of a look, but her eyes looked bleary, inflamed. Not damning enough to call out, not with the beams of red stage lights flooding the dance floor.

"I met some guys that got us a lounge!" 

She was giggling, but you pulled away. You'd already been sufficiently creeped on by the bouncer, and longed for the sweet relief of your bed. "I thought this was a girl's night,"

"C'mon babe, relax!" A green hunk of tinfoil fell from her pocket when she whipped around. When you yanked your hand back, frustrated, she peeked over her shoulder like a guilty dog. It made you soften, but not by much. 

"MAR." You bent down to pick up the litter just as a man came up behind. One press of his hips to your torso made you recoil at the intrusion, and you spun around to shove him away. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” A bit of his drink spilled on your side, and you grit your teeth. By this time Mar had stepped up, always a willing wingman. 

"Hey, don't fuck with a woman like that, bitch!"

BAMBAMBAMBAM. 

Impossibly loud, impossibly close popping noises whipped through the crowd like gunshots. All hell broke loose. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. They were. It was. Fuck.

You grabbed the railing to pull your shaky legs to the exit when body after body rammed into you, leaving you stuck. Suddenly a kid again, ducking to your knees under the desk, shoving your hands over your head during drills. Crouched now, you wondered what the fuck a hand would do against a bullet. A cool wave of helplessness traveled your spine as someone’s knee knocked your skull against the stairwell in their escape.

The gunshots inched closer, closer, egging on your heart rate, curdling your thoughts sour. I shouldn’t have come. I don’t want to die. I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve stayed. What the fuck am I doing? Where is she? Is she dead? I’m going to fucking die, I’m going to fucking die.

You drew a shaky breath that was too loud for comfort, and forced your mind to clear for just a few seconds. What was the easiest place to hit? Images of autoplayed video after autoplayed video swirled your thoughts, trying desperately to parse which position those that survived all those mass shootings had been laying in. What had all those survivors said? What the hell had kept them alive? Luck? Silence? Luck and silence.

A rapid increase in gunfire made you shriek despite your survival instincts. One would fly through the railing, you just knew it. You knew it, you knew it, you knew, why hadn’t you stayed in bed, you’d never shit on your apartment again, you’d live and breathe and die there, no, you’d die right here, right fucking here—

Silence. 

Sweat beaded your entire body as it electrified with adrenaline; you squeezed your eyes shut, shoving yourself against the side of the stairwell in an attempt to make your body as compact as possible. The rough concrete texture burrowed into your arm as you jammed harder, harder, harder… I could be dead with just one bullet.

Before more morbid thoughts could form, you yelped as you felt your body being lifted and slung over someone's shoulder. Something was hard and slick against your stomach, and the world whizzed around you when you dared look around. The arm that held you was so strong you couldn’t slip out if you tried. Relief coated you as the chill of Gotham’s night air hit your cheeks. 

Short-lived was the relief, as a new panic settled in alongside it. Though you were fully removed from the chaos, the man wasn’t letting you go. 

An elbow was the first thing you tried, but it nearly had you choking on tears as it scraped against unforgiving material. Were they armored? 

You tensed your abs and fought to roll out of his grip. Nothing. Nothing but a grunt from the man holding you, but you couldn’t even begin to isolate the voice while your ears rang with tinnitus. 

So you shouted and wriggled, screaming “Let me GO!” until the cows came home. Or until he let you down, whichever came first.

"Stop fighting." A low, gravelly voice spoke hot against your ear, punctuated by a hard flop of your ribs digging into the edge of his shoulder. Bruises were evidence of struggle, something this dipshit probably wasn’t thinking about. You heaved a breath in preparation of another flop, but it wasn’t needed. 

Without warning the man released his grasp and you slid off, landing squarely in a puddle. If this was an EMT, they needed more training and identifiable clothing. Black on black made him hard to focus on, but the shock of a pale jaw knocked the wind right out of you. 

The Batman. 

“Oh, uh,” the tornado of panic relaxed ever so slightly, and a sliver of shame crept in. “Sorry.” You felt bad for thinking of all the ways to immobilize him, from a kick in the crotch to digging your nails into his eyeballs. 

He stood there long enough for reality to seep in. One, that you were safe, and two, that you hadn’t been. You’d finally found yourself in the crossfire and unless a dozen people died, it wouldn’t even make the news. Maybe you needed to leave before graduation.

“Turn around.”

Batman’s sharp tone burst through your reverie, and you spun around instantaneously. His word was good as gospel. In your year and a half here, a few of your classmates had spoken of being saved one time or another. “He never sticks around. Gone as quick as he comes. Thank god for him.” It was instinctual to trust him, like reaching for water on a hot day.

And his voice brooked no argument. 

The back of your head lit up in flaming pain. The edges of his gloves caught on some hair strands, and you gasped. “You need stitches.” 

A screen lit up on his arm when he stepped back. Your vision blurred at the edges, eyes watering from the pain. "Victim with head wound on Feller and Kelley." 

Head wound. Better than a fucking bullet to the chest. Never before had you swooned over the thought of a needle snaking through your scalp. You sighed out a thank you, half-wondering if he planned to carry you to whomever he’d called. You couldn’t tell for sure, vision much too hazy, but he might’ve nodded. 

In a blink, the masked man was halfway down the alley. Just when he turned out of view, police lights illuminated the space, flashing off the balmy brick. You swallowed hard, letting the shock wash through you. Part of a fucking shooting. Saved by the Batman.

And you hadn't gotten a good look at him.

[blueishspace]

Hero Villain God Bonus 1

(Prev) (Next) (First)

✨Hotguy answers the internet's most asked questions.✨

*The video opens to Hotguy in hero outfit sitting on a chair in a white room, he waves at the camera*

"Hello people! Hotguy here and this is my autocomplete interview!"

*Intro music*

"I'm dyslexic so I don't know how well reading is going to go"

[What Hotguy]

"What is... Hotguy's real name? Oh I'm sorry but you aren't going to find that on the internet! It's very confidential. I have seen a few interesting theories about it though"

*Hotguy has a pensive expression*

"For example, I heard people say I'm secretly Mayor Ren. It's kind of funny even if completely wrong. Next!"

"What is Hotguy's age? Uh, you guys are really curious about me...hence this whole thing, I'm flattered. You know, there is this site that said that I'm in my late fourties! Can you believe it friends? My fourties! I don't look that old do I?"

*The hand of the cameraman appears to do a so-so motion, Hotguy gasps*

"How dare you! I'll have you know I'm not fourty or worse...fifty"

"What is Hotguy's favorite colour? Orange of course! Next question!"

*Hotguy very dramatically reveals the next one*

"What is Hotguy's net worth?"

..."I don't even know Hotguy's net worth and I'm him"

*Hotguy giggles*

"To be honest, my manager helps me with that kind of stuff. They're totally awesome."

"What shampoo does Hotguy use? Oh you like my hair, do you? Well, I like caramel or oh oh! Maple syrup scented shampoo, really nice sweet smell. It was actually gifted to me first by the number 5 hero Tay and I liked it so much I kept buying it."

"What is Hotguy's personality type? I uh never done a test for that, my manager said it would be dumb so I never done it... Maybe I could do it in the future! What do you civilians think?"

[Did Hotguy?]

"Oh no, what did I do? I'm getting worried"

*He anxiously reveals the first one*

"Did Hotguy... Fire his pr team? Who is asking this? No! I did not do anything of the sort, I'll have you know that my pr team is having a great time... What's with that face mr. Camera man?"

*Cut to the next question*

"Did Hotguy kiss... Really? ... Did Hotguy kiss Mother Spore? I very much did not, she almost killed me in fact. I don't know where you guys got the idea that I'm in a relationship with her...moving on-"

"Did Hotguy go to school? Well, I did of course, got a degree too! It was around that time that the Hero association first scouted me actually. It's also when my manager actually became...well, my manager, it was a really busy time for me!"

[When Hotguy]

"Let's see, when did Hotguy appear? Oh! You mean my first public appearance? That must have been a while ago actually, 7 or maybe 8 years ago now? I'm not quite sure to be honest!"

*He puts his hand on his chin in thought before smiling*

"These last few years have been great haven't they? And now with my new sidekick entering the scene the next few are going to be even better!"

"When Hotguy merch? Oh, you can expect new merch coming soon! I have so much I want to say about it but I don't want to spoil the surprise! Just know that it's going to be amazing!"

*Wink*

*There is some noise from behind the camera*

"Oh right! Onto the next question!"

"When did Hotguy fight Poultryman? ... That guy sure is an headache, he's following me even here, never going be free of him I swear. It was around a month ago that I fought him for the first time, of course one failure wasn't enough to stop me! I'm still onto him!"

*He stands up as he says it before remembering where he is and sitting down*

[Who Hotguy]

"Who is Hotguy? Just the top hero in the country of course! I guess people outside of Hermmittopia might not know me as much as they do those who live here... "

"Who was Hotguy's first villain? Oh that I do remember, I think it was Midas... It was Midas right? ... Yeah. A really nasty guy with the power of turning things to gold. Of course I catched him and is now somewhere where he can't hurt anyone. Catching him was hard but I manget- ...managed, sorry, to assault his back-"

*❌ Sound*

"I managed to take him from behind -"

*❌ Sound*

"I managed to... Surprise attack him?"

*✅ Sound*

"Who is Hotguy's PR team... Again? You know what, I'm not answering this one again"

"Who is Hotguy's manager? Oh! I can't reveal their name but they're great, probably the smartest person I know! They're a scientist though, so I guess it makes sense that they would know so much!"

[Is Hotguy?]

"Is Hotguy hot? Sure am, It's in the name for a reason friends! Look at these muscles!"

*Hotguy flexes in front of the camera*

"Using a bow as much as I do will do that for you, requires a lot more strenght then people think."

"Is Hotguy... single? I am, saving the city is a lot of work so I don't really have time to date anyone... I know, so many fans must be heartbroken but don't be sad! If you are interested in love then I'm sure you'll find someone ... Or someones perfect for you!"

"Is Hotguy gay?"

...

"I'm pansexual, It's a very different thing. Moving on!"

[Where Hotguy?]

"Where was Hotguy born? Here in Hermmittopia actually, born and raised here! I know it may sound unbeliavable but it's true"

"Last but not least... Where does Hotguy live? I'm uh I really can't say my adress friend! Especially somewhere a villain might be able to see! Sorry!"

[evertidings]

— JANUARY 2024.

accomplishments.

i meant to write this yesterday. and the day before. and, well, yes, also the whole weekend. it's not much of a monthly update when we're already a week into february, but we're ignoring it. time flies; it's so crazy.

i hate to admit it but january was not a good month for me in terms of writing. i really thought my last semester at school would be easy (ha) so i was overestimating how much i could get done. the truth is, i haven't touched when twilight strikes for a while. and it pains me heavily. i wish i was working on that rather than my essays (boooo!!!) but i can't afford a fail when i'm so close to graduating. so, reluctant priorities. in an ideal world, chapter eleven would come out this month. in reality, i have no date. i would love march, but my progress has been so slow i can't guarantee it.

to speak on the little i have written, though, i think it's going really well. i'm diving into some complicated things and while it's challenging, it's also been super fun. i might have mentioned this last month but a lot of things are reaching a culminating point. because of that, the chapter is definitely more plot-driven than fluff, but (don't worry!) at the same time, it's still very character-driven. i don't think it'd be a 'me' chapter if it wasn't. Blane, K and Rylan have whole scenes (K and Rylan are in one scene together, Blane is on their own; i've yet to decide how or if I'm doing it for A and N). i'm really excited for you to read them.

finally, as some of you may know, February is also the month of my anniversary. it'll be three years since i posted my intro post here on tumblr and damn, like i said, time flies. it's funny because i thought it'd be done by now, but hey, here i still am, writing chapter eleven and *struggling* with it. usually, i post some sort of anniversary special, but since i'm so behind this year, i haven't been able to get a start on it. i'm really sorry about this—i was so excited about it too because i know exactly what i want to do. i still plan for it to be released, but just not on the deadline of the actual day, unfortunately. so if anyone was looking forward to that, you'll have to wait.

on a lighter note, i hope you're all doing well! hopefully, february will be kinder to me in terms of assignments <3

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain (Part I)

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, abuse, suicide, religious themes, ect.

FAMILY TREE (INTRO)

These crosses all over my body remind me of who I used to be.

Christ forgive these bones I'm hiding.

He cannot escape his mother's blood.

He'll never escape what he's made up of.

The fates already fucked me sideways.

You know I raised you bеtter than this.

Leavе me hanging so they all can laugh at me.

AMERICAN TEENAGER

Putting too much faith in the make-believe.

The neighbor's brother came home in a box.

He wanted to go, so maybe it was his fault.

Another red heart taken by the American dream.

I feel it there in the middle of the night.

I'm all alone again.

Say what you want, but say it like you mean it.

Just give it one more day, then you'rе done.

I do what I want.

I said it was fun.

I don't need anything from anyone.

It's just not my year.

I'm all good out here.

I'm sorry if I sound off, but I was probably wasted.

Didn't feel so good.

Head full of whiskey but I always deliver.

If you're listening, let me handle my liquor.

If you're there, why do I feel alone in this room with you?

I'm still standing here.

I do it for *Name*.

I'm doing what I want and damn, I'm doing it well.

A HOUSE IN NEBRASKA

Sing it to me all day long.

The aching sound of silence used to be our favorite song.

You and me against the world.

You were my man and I your girl.

We had nothing except each other.

You were my whole world.

I still call home that house in Nebraska.

We found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor.

The world was empty, save you and I.

You left, and I cried.

Even if we died tonight, I'd die yours.

These dirt roads are empty.

Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well.

Really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time.

It hurts to miss you.

It's worse to know that I'm the reason you won't come home.

I died there under you, every night, all night.

You know, I still wait at the edge of town, praying straight to God that maybe you’ll come back around.

I cry every day, and the bottles make it worse.

You were the only one I was never scared to tell I hurt.

I found photographs of our school, on the day we met.

I thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess.

You might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night.

I just hope you're doing fine out there.

I just pray that you're all right.

I feel so alone.

I feel so alone without you.

WESTERN NIGHTS

He's never looked more beautiful.

I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue.

Show me how much I mean to you.

I'd hold the gun if you asked me to.

If you love me like you say you do, would you ask me to?

Trouble's always gonna find you baby. but so will I.

Hold me across every state line.

I'm never gonna leave you baby, even if you lose what's left of your mind.

'Cause you know I'll be right there beside you.

I haven't spoken to my daddy in a long, long time.

I don't want him to worry.

The neighborhood keeps getting smaller.

All starved out when the money's paper thin.

All that's left are your walls and you'll die there.

I should have known that there's no getting in.

I'll still be alright.

Clinging onto you like some love blind addict.

I'll be screaming your name.

Please don't love how I need you.

Know that one day, you and I could be okay.

FAMILY TREE

I'm just a child but I'm not above violence.

My mama raised me better than that.

Daddy said shoot first then run and don't look back.

Take me down to the river and bathe me clean.

I've killed before and I'll kill again.

Take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand.

They say heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Hell don't scare me, I've been times before.

HARD TIMES

Lay it on me.

Tell me a story about how it ends where you're still the good guy.

I hate this story.

Happiness ends and dies with you.

I thought good guys get to be happy.

I'm not happy.

I am poison in the water and unhappy.

I was too young to noticе that some types of love could bе bad.

I still do, and that scares me.

I'm tired of you.

It's just the way that you are.

I just wanna sleep.

[magnymagics-puppy]

game of thrones spoilers i guess just in case? also definitely a vent sorry im just so fucking sad

finally almost done with the show on my rewatch with my partner and i had to watch jaime die last night and i sobbed so hard i couldn't breathe lol 🥲 i hadn't been able to bring myself to watch it again since i watched season 8 as it aired so it's been years since i first watched him die and i really couldn't take it i felt like i was suffocating from crying so hard and i thought i was gonna throw up (and then later i did just thinking about the episode! wow!)

cried even just watching the intro of the episode because i knew it was time but oh god

i had forgotten, i'd forgotten about cersei begging him not to let her die i'd forgotten that the tunnels were blocked i'd forgotten about tyrion sobbing as he unearthed their bodies i'd forgotten . i hate this feeling i hate it so much i woke up feeling so absolutely empty and i don't even know what to do with myself, it's been a long time since a character death has treated me this way. there's only two other characters in existence that have done this to me so badly, i feel sick i feel so physically ill i don't know what i'm going to do today and we still have to watch the finale and he's not going to be there and i already knew that when we started my rewatch and i knew it was going to be awful for me but i didn't think i'd be this sick i hate bpd i can feel this in my bones and my lungs and i'm so tired i've been awake since 2am thinking about it and i haven't even been able to cry again and somehow that's worse because everything is just stuck in my body and i want it out i feel so sick

[eisforeidolon]

Question: What episode are you guys most proud of, that you just made and you really knew this is something special?

Jared: What episode are we most proud of that we made - of Supernatural?

Question: Of any show.

Jared: I'll go with Supernatural because we've got some Supernatural family members up here. What episode - I guess I'll start - sorry, I hear a little "Eeeeeeeeeeee" Was E.T. just up here? Why are we hearing "Eeeeeeeee" - just kidding, kidding. I think for me, this may seem obvious, the episode I'm most proud of and the most difficult episode to shoot was the series finale. It was rough. It was really rough. And it was a weird - I think when the COVID strike happened, we got - Jensen and I got sent home from Canada on Friday March 13th, Friday the 13th, appropriately, of 2020 because they thought they were going to shut the borders down. So they were like, get across the border, go see your family, we don't know what's going on, you know, there's a worldwide pandemic. And so we had the scripts by then, we had the last two scripts of the series and we got home and didn't go back to Vancouver until August 1st-ish? So I had four months - and a half - to sit there and read through the dialogue, I couldn't read through the scene, the barn scene especially, without crying. And so I'd like go - yeah, we have a little treadmill at our house - and so I had nothing else to do, I'd be like hey Genevieve can you take the kids for a second, I'm gonna go and just get a little run in and read through the episodes. And she's like, yeah, do it. So I'd go and I'd come back and my face would be all puffy and red, and she'd be like, oh shit, are you okay? Like, thinking I got bad news about a friend with COVID or something, and I'd be like yeah, just read the finale, it's cool, it's cool. Yeah, so that was very difficult. But I was very proud of that and it was very heartbreaking as well. Guys and gals?

[Julian Richings talks about being proud he was able to hit his mark in the big boat of a car Death drove in his intro, Sam Smith talks about all the little missing pieces character moments of Mary in Absence, and Alaina Huffman reminisces about getting "to kick the shit out of Crowley" and how great Mark Sheppard is.]

Mitch Pileggi: I'm gonna keep it with Supernatural, because I've been so fortunate to have such a long career and I can't remember most of it, so I couldn't remember moments from it. Probably the hugest, one of the hugest moments of my life was the day that I met Jared Padalecki. And, I mean, I've got the job, so I don't need to say that. Yeah, he ain't gonna fire me. So it was huge, I met an individual that has been so giving and so - to my family, to me and to my family and everybody around us on the show that we're doing now. I have to say that the show that we're doing now is my favorite show that I've ever done in the forty plus years of my career. Without a question, without a doubt, if you haven't seen it, start watching, please. But I think as far as Supernatural, I didn't understand most of what that character was doing and I'm still trying to figure it out. So, I mean even Bob Singer was like, what the hell is going on with those Campbells? So. But I have to say, the scene that I had with Jensen where he turns into the Yellow Eyed Demon was a blast. I had so much fun. I got to get up and sniff on Jensen real good and it was fun, I really enjoyed doing it. And just - like for both of them, when I met both of them, I think I took Jensen aside about four days working on the show and I said I just want to say that you two guys have got your heads screwed on right. Keep it that way, because this business can really twist you up and it hasn't done it to this day, so.

[noelsfieldmouse]

Time for the Intro Round! ;)

So I have been back on tumblr for something like two weeks now after darn near 10 year hiatus (back when my fandoms were AFI and MIW) and have reblogged content that is basically ancient, so thanks for putting up with that ;) but I haven't done a real intro yet so here we go...

My name is Becca, I'm actually 40 something. (I'm 8 years younger then Noel and I love that we are close in age lol) I live in the US in North Carolina with my IRL boyfriend and our cat Freya. I am on a long haitus from my job while I figure out my life. I want to write. So I am working on that.

So here's the "how I found the Boosh fandom" story: I really love to bake. It's one of my absolute passions in this world. Especially at Christmas time. And I had gone through ALL of the good American baking shows and needed more, so I remembered about that british one.....I will never forget it: I hit play, I saw the goth presenter and said out loud, pointing (very much like that Leo meme) "is that Noel Fielding?!" and then was like "OMG that's totes Noel Fielding!" because I absolutely did already know about his existence FROM the Boosh from years ago but never got to watch it. I'm pretty sure I had only heard of Noel/the Boosh from Tumblr back in the early days. British shows were harder to get here back then. SO anyway, I went and found the Boosh to watch and then I watched Dick Turpin, Big Fat Quiz, whatever Buzzcocks I could find etc etc and well now here we are and Noel is the love of my life hahahaha. Don't tell my IRL BF ;) (JK I love him too!)

I do love british comedy in general, I love Richard Ayoade (obvs), Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell, Jack Whitehall, Joe Lycett etc etc.

And while I was born American, I have always been British at heart. For life. <3

So there's a little about me. Sorry if this is long. I am not sure how to put something behind a cut etc. Thanks for bearing with me!!

[just-a-carrot]

hhhhh ik you said at some point that you don't particularly enjoy depicting the cast as their child selves, so I hope this request doesn't make you too uncomfortable but..

Aside from the intro sequence, do you have any specific scenarios or stuff like that that you could thing of as happening in the first iteration of the wonderland. Ik the game is a horror game and all but it's just super wholesome to think about the more fairytale like aspect that happened before everything went to shit(/pos).

Mostly this was brought about by thinking of Jerry like. He's already shown in Arc 5 to have parental sort of tendencies and if he still existed in the first iteration of the wonderland it would just be super sweet to think of scenarios of him just babysitting the cast and stuff. Lot of kid chaos yk? SKKJHJSB sorry it's just so wholesome and sweet to think about that kinda dynamic/scenario

ahhhhhh... oh gosh 💦 now i feel very sheepish because that's not what i meant and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. i was referring more to when i'd see people draw, say, genzou, 3, 4, 5 times, and every single time it was him as a kid/in high school, and never once did i see them draw him as an adult. THAT SPECIFICALLY made me feel weird. particularly as it happened most often with genzou so in the back of my mind it was always like... "oh... so you just don't want to draw him fat... 😅" and i'd just end up feeling very strange. HOWEVER, i haven't seen that happen in quite a while, it was mostly just still stuck in my head from earlier days of production, and since it often happened with genzou (and orlam a bit) my mind kinda associates it most with them lol. HAVING SAID THAT i am not uncomfortable in the slightest if ppl draw them as kids, if ppl come up with scenarios for them as kids or in high school, if ppl ask me questions about them as kids, etc. so please never feel bad asking me questions about it!! i'm really sorry that my badly explained answer to that other question came across that way, i don't want ppl to feel bad or uncomfortable about that. and i think imagining flashbacks or cute moments of them growing up is very sweet. like, a huge part of their dynamic as a group COMES from the fact that they grew up together and have all these shared moments, so i do really enjoy coming up with them and thinking about their changing dynamics through the years, etc.

anyway as to your actual question... lkdajfa

it's not something i've thought of extensively before but i have come up with at least the types of scenarios that you see hinted at in the game itself. like they talk about playing hide and seek in the sunflower fields. riding on the kiddie kruise. getting snacks and messing around in the village. also all the wishes that show up in the final cutscene were all taken from ideas i had for stuff they would have done, as all of those wishes would have led to resulting shenanigans of some sort

i personally had not thought about jerry's involvement in all of this; HOWEVER, someone did make a fan game about this exact thing during last year's fanart contest, showing jerry doing fun and silly things and going on adventures with them as kids when they came to wonderland, and though obviously it's not official, i think it's incredibly sweet and i love to think about them having these kinds of moments!!! so if you want to think about jerry being there (along with the other rabbits) and helping them get up to all kinds of shenanigans i think that fits incredibly well, even if i don't have any specific ideas for what those would have been aside from what i've already mentioned/hinted towards in game hahaha. somehow i feel like others would be able to come up with a lot more silly and creative things than i ever could in regards to this matter 🤣

[danandphilssidepiece]

New Beginnings!! A Dan and Phil Phanfic! Intro and Chapter 1

Hi! I'm Grace and this is New Beginnings 2.0!!!

⚠️Content warning!!!!! This story contains descriptions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, bullying, ED, child abuse!!!!!! Chapters will have a trigger warning explaining the content!! ⚠️

I published a couple parts of this in another book and I really don't like it. So I'm rewriting and trying to make it better! Bare with me as I haven't really written fanfic since I was 14 and I'm 22 now.

I should probably be embarrassed writing Phanfic at my big age but whatever.

Anyway. Enjoy!

Also Ps. I am using other YouTubers in this story but in no way shape or form is that how I view them in real life!

The First Day

⸻

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide, abuse, and bullying.

⸻

The clouds hung in the sky like a blanket of darkness. Dan opened his eyes to the sound of rain pelting against his window. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his body, trying to shake off last night's dream. He wouldn't call it a nightmare exactly. He's had plenty of those.

In the dream, he sat at the dinner table between his mother and father, holding back tears as they screamed and fought. His mother's legs shook as she stood up. She placed a hand on Dan's shoulder. He looked up at her. She smiled. Dan hadn't seen her smile in years. She said nothing as her fingers slipped away from him and she walked out of the room, closing the bathroom door with a soft thud.

Dan shook his head, trying to erase the image. It had been almost five years since his mother took her own life. He was ten. He had seen how unhappy she was, seen what his father did to her. But what could he have done? He was only a kid. After she died, his father shifted the blame and the violence to him.

He swung his legs over the bed and sat up with a sigh. Another new school. His second high school. Dan was used to being the new kid. He moved almost every year. When people started noticing his mother's bruises, they would pack up and leave. After her death, when people started noticing Dan's own bruises, they packed up and left again.

That's how he ended up here, in a small town with barely any people. His father figured fewer people meant fewer questions. He wasn't wrong. The town was tight-knit. Outsiders weren't welcomed. Dan and his father were basically invisible.

He shuffled to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and stared blankly into the mirror. His fingers traced over his features. His crooked nose, small lips, full cheeks. He pinched the fat around his stomach and grimaced.

"Disgusting."

A loud bang on the door startled him.

"Daniel," his father shouted. "Get your fucking ass down here. If you're late, I swear to God."

Dan brushed his teeth, grabbed the cleanest clothes he could find, and trudged downstairs. His father was standing at the front door.

"I'm going to work. When you get home, clean the damn kitchen. It better be done before I get back."

The door slammed shut behind him.

School was a ten-minute walk. Dan slipped on his worn-out shoes and headed outside. Music helped. He couldn't escape his life physically, but music let him escape mentally. He passed by well-manicured houses, neighbors sipping coffee on porches, children waving goodbye to smiling parents. Dan's chest ached. He longed for affection, for peace, for his mother.

Tears welled in his eyes. He wiped them away quickly.

"Stupid," he muttered.

The school was massive. Dan paused just inside the entrance, already overwhelmed. He unzipped his bag to look for his schedule when he was shoved to the ground.

"Watch where you're standing, you fucking dipshit."

Dan blinked up through his hair. A strong hand yanked him up by the arm.

"I said, watch where you're standing."

The guy was huge. Muscular. Intimidating. Dan barely managed a squeaky, "S-sorry."

"Mark."

A second boy rounded the corner. Taller than Dan, shorter than Mark.

"Already fucking with the new kids?" he asked with a grin.

Mark laughed and pulled the other boy into a bro hug.

"Jack, bro. This fucker was just standing in the middle of the hallway. Nearly ran over him."

"Don't waste your time," Jack said, still laughing. "Phil's waiting for us on the field."

The two of them walked away, cackling about some girl they had supposedly "done" over the summer.

Dan hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he let it out. His legs felt like lead. Students were staring. Some with pity, some with fear, a few laughing under their breath.

He spotted a bathroom and darted inside. Slipping into a stall, he collapsed to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. He tried to hold it together, but tears spilled anyway. He sobbed silently, hand covering his mouth.

The bell rang. The bathroom emptied out. Dan figured it was safe to fall apart now. He dropped his hand, buried his face, and whispered into his palms.

"Oh my god. I can't believe I'm actually fucking crying on the first day."

"Yeah, that's a bit weird," a voice replied from another stall.

A backpack slid under the door. Then a boy followed it, sitting cross-legged across from Dan.

"Hi. I'm Chris."

Dan blinked. He didn't know how to respond. Who slides under a stall just to talk?

"Uh... Dan."

"Cool. So Dan, why are you crying on the first day?"

He hesitated. Chris didn't seem malicious. Just weird. But kind of sincere.

"Well... I was nervous. I just moved here. I guess I was in that guy's way. Mark? He didn't hurt me or anything. Just shoved me. I cry at everything."

Chris nodded.

"Yeah, Mark's a dick. Football team. His friends Jack and Ethan? Also dicks. Phil's the captain. Probably a dick too, though I've never seen him actually do anything bad."

Dan laughed. Chris grinned.

"You should meet my friend PJ. You guys would get along. You should totally sit with us at lunch. Be our third musketeer."

Dan hesitated. Friends? He wasn't used to that.

"Well?" Chris nudged.

"Okay."

Chris beamed. The bell rang again.

"I've got math. Can't miss the first day."

"I've got English. Probably should get there early."

Chris waved and left. Dan fixed his hair in the mirror, took a deep breath, and stepped out.

English wasn't far. Assigned seats. Perfect. He found his name. Next to it: Phil Lester.

No. It couldn't be the same Phil.

Dan turned around. Locked eyes with him. Black hair. Bright blue eyes. Football jacket.

⸻

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide, abuse, and bullying.

⸻

The clouds hung in the sky like a blanket of darkness. Dan opened his eyes to the sound of rain pelting against his window. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his body, trying to shake off last night's dream. He wouldn't call it a nightmare exactly. He's had plenty of those.

In the dream, he sat at the dinner table between his mother and father, holding back tears as they screamed and fought. His mother's legs shook as she stood up. She placed a hand on Dan's shoulder. He looked up at her. She smiled. Dan hadn't seen her smile in years. She said nothing as her fingers slipped away from him and she walked out of the room, closing the bathroom door with a soft thud.

Dan shook his head, trying to erase the image. It had been almost five years since his mother took her own life. He was ten. He had seen how unhappy she was, seen what his father did to her. But what could he have done? He was only a kid. After she died, his father shifted the blame and the violence to him.

He swung his legs over the bed and sat up with a sigh. Another new school. His second high school. Dan was used to being the new kid. He moved almost every year. When people started noticing his mother's bruises, they would pack up and leave. After her death, when people started noticing Dan's own bruises, they packed up and left again.

That's how he ended up here, in a small town with barely any people. His father figured fewer people meant fewer questions. He wasn't wrong. The town was tight-knit. Outsiders weren't welcomed. Dan and his father were basically invisible.

He shuffled to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and stared blankly into the mirror. His fingers traced over his features. His crooked nose, small lips, full cheeks. He pinched the fat around his stomach and grimaced.

"Disgusting."

A loud bang on the door startled him.

"Daniel," his father shouted. "Get your fucking ass down here. If you're late, I swear to God."

Dan brushed his teeth, grabbed the cleanest clothes he could find, and trudged downstairs. His father was standing at the front door.

"I'm going to work. When you get home, clean the damn kitchen. It better be done before I get back."

The door slammed shut behind him.

School was a ten-minute walk. Dan slipped on his worn-out shoes and headed outside. Music helped. He couldn't escape his life physically, but music let him escape mentally. He passed by well-manicured houses, neighbors sipping coffee on porches, children waving goodbye to smiling parents. Dan's chest ached. He longed for affection, for peace, for his mother.

Tears welled in his eyes. He wiped them away quickly.

"Stupid," he muttered.

The school was massive. Dan paused just inside the entrance, already overwhelmed. He unzipped his bag to look for his schedule when he was shoved to the ground.

"Watch where you're standing, you fucking dipshit."

Dan blinked up through his hair. A strong hand yanked him up by the arm.

"I said, watch where you're standing."

The guy was huge. Muscular. Intimidating. Dan barely managed a squeaky, "S-sorry."

"Mark."

A second boy rounded the corner. Taller than Dan, shorter than Mark.

"Already fucking with the new kids?" he asked with a grin.

Mark laughed and pulled the other boy into a bro hug.

"Jack, bro. This fucker was just standing in the middle of the hallway. Nearly ran over him."

"Don't waste your time," Jack said, still laughing. "Phil's waiting for us on the field."

The two of them walked away, cackling about some girl they had supposedly "done" over the summer.

Dan hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he let it out. His legs felt like lead. Students were staring. Some with pity, some with fear, a few laughing under their breath.

He spotted a bathroom and darted inside. Slipping into a stall, he collapsed to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. He tried to hold it together, but tears spilled anyway. He sobbed silently, hand covering his mouth.

The bell rang. The bathroom emptied out. Dan figured it was safe to fall apart now. He dropped his hand, buried his face, and whispered into his palms.

"Oh my god. I can't believe I'm actually fucking crying on the first day."

"Yeah, that's a bit weird," a voice replied from another stall.

A backpack slid under the door. Then a boy followed it, sitting cross-legged across from Dan.

"Hi. I'm Chris."

Dan blinked. He didn't know how to respond. Who slides under a stall just to talk?

"Uh... Dan."

"Cool. So Dan, why are you crying on the first day?"

He hesitated. Chris didn't seem malicious. Just weird. But kind of sincere.

"Well... I was nervous. I just moved here. I guess I was in that guy's way. Mark? He didn't hurt me or anything. Just shoved me. I cry at everything."

Chris nodded.

"Yeah, Mark's a dick. Football team. His friends Jack and Ethan? Also dicks. Phil's the captain. Probably a dick too, though I've never seen him actually do anything bad."

Dan laughed. Chris grinned.

"You should meet my friend PJ. You guys would get along. You should totally sit with us at lunch. Be our third musketeer."

Dan hesitated. Friends? He wasn't used to that.

"Well?" Chris nudged.

"Okay."

Chris beamed. The bell rang again.

"I've got math. Can't miss the first day."

"I've got English. Probably should get there early."

Chris waved and left. Dan fixed his hair in the mirror, took a deep breath, and stepped out.

English wasn't far. Assigned seats. Perfect. He found his name. Next to it: Phil Lester.

No. It couldn't be the same Phil.

Dan turned around. Locked eyes with him. Black hair. Bright blue eyes. Football jacket.

Definitely the same Phil.

Dan sat quietly, notebook in hand. Tried to be invisible.

"Hi."

Phil's voice was deep. Friendly.

"H-hi."

Dan winced at his own stutter.

"I'm Phil. What's your name?"

"Dan."

Phil smiled. It was warm. Disarming. Dangerous.

Dan couldn't afford to get comfortable.

The teacher started class. Dan felt relief.

English passed without issue. So did math. Then it was time for lunch.

He wasn't alone.

"Dan. Over here."

Chris was waving him over. Next to him stood a boy with curly brown hair and green eyes.

"This is PJ. Come on, let's go."

They led him outside to a courtyard under a large oak tree. Chris flopped on the grass dramatically.

"I'm dying. This school sucks."

PJ laughed, leaning against the trunk. Dan sat cross-legged.

"So Dan," PJ said warmly. "How are you?"

Dan blinked. No one usually asked that.

"Fine. I like my classes so far."

Chris rolled his eyes.

"You like your classes? What are you, a nerd?"

PJ punched his shoulder playfully.

"So, have you met anyone else? I heard you ran into Mark and Jack."

Dan nodded.

"Yeah. It was... interesting. I actually met Phil. The captain."

Chris's eyes went wide.

"You talked to him?"

"He was nice. I guess. Didn't say much. He was going to, but the teacher started class. I thought he was kinda cool?"

Silence.

"This is bad," Chris said.

Dan frowned.

"Phil isn't nice. You can't trust him. He'll hurt you."

PJ nodded. Dan looked down at the grass. Wrong answer.

Lunch passed quickly. Dan was grateful for company.

His last class was World History. He got there early and claimed the back corner. His comfort zone.

He was unpacking when a familiar voice spoke.

"Hi."

Phil.

Dan looked up. Those same blue eyes.

"Phil. I mean... hi."

Phil laughed softly and sat next to him.

"You remembered my name."

"Hard to forget. Everyone knows it."

Phil chuckled.

"I saw you at lunch. Glad you've got friends."

He paused, rubbing his forehead.

"That sounded weird."

Dan laughed. He couldn't help it.

Phil looked relieved.

Class started. Dan forgot, for a moment, that Chris and PJ had warned him.

School ended. Dan stepped outside, ready to head home, when Chris and PJ caught up.

"How was your first day?" PJ asked.

"Good," Dan replied. He left out the part about Phil.

They headed toward the gates. Laughter echoed nearby.

"Hey boys, watch this."

A football came flying. It hit Dan square in the nose.

Blood gushed. Laughter erupted.

Mark. Jack. Ethan. And Phil.

Dan could barely breathe. They were all laughing. Even Phil.

Chris and PJ rushed to him. PJ handed over tissues. Dan pressed them to his nose, blinking back tears.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"I didn't want to say I told you so," Chris whispered.

"Chris. Seriously," PJ snapped.

Dan didn't speak. He just stared at the ground.

"I've got to get home," he said finally. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Chris and PJ nodded. Dan walked off alone.

And just like that, his first day was over.

[doberbutts]

Hi - asking in good faith here, but I am also relatively new to active anti-racism (im white, grew up in all white areas, and didn't encounter anti racist perspectives until college). In the last few years I've done a LOT of reading about anti-black racism, black feminist theory, womanism, etc, and I'm beginning to understand why the bastardization and appropriation of aave is so harmful. I don't want to put my friends of color on the spot about this or make them feel pressured to answer a certain way, though, and I DO want an answer that's grounded in theory and thoughtfulness about these things (two traits my circle of 18-20 year olds sometimes lacks, understandably). I know that that might put a lot of pressure on you as well but please know that while I do respect your opinion, I know you're just one Black person with one opinion - and of course if an irl Black friend ever came to me and told me to stop I would.

My question is, if I am making sure to attribute it correctly as AAVE, being careful to make sure I'm using it appropriately, and of course listening in case I hear I've misused it - is it still harmful for me as a white person to use aave? Is it possible to use aave non-harmfully as a white person, among Black friends? Or would it be better for me to do my best to remove those words and phrases and grammatical structures from the way I speak entirely?

A lot of these things, I pick up FROM my friends, and they haven't, idk, made faces or suggested I should stop or anything like that. But of course it's hard to sort out what I pick up from my friends, what I pick up from Black literature (im a terrible parrot from my books unfortunately 😬), and what comes from the intern*t lol. So there's obviously the potential to misuse or disrespect aave, especially if I ever stop being thoughtful about what I say and where I first hear it. And while I have tried to read up on the appropriation of AAVE and develop my own opinion, this really does seem like one of those things where as a white person my opinion is always going to be a little out of touch - and I REALLY don't want to hurt and alienate my friends and accidentally advance racism in my community because I felt qualified to comment on this.

I don't know. I grew up in a very white enclave in a very white area of a very white state, and I AM trying to catch up and think critically about what I do say and think, but honestly, I am very new to these things. So if this is a dumb question or I am inadvertently ignorant/inappropriate, I'm really sorry about that and please know that I AM trying to do better. (And I will never say no to specific resource recommendations. I've read everything you usually read in an intro to Africana studies course lol but there is so much out there!!)

Thanks, either way. I appreciate you taking the time to read this extremely long winded ask lol. And I appreciate the way you blog about these things and how you make it clear where and from what you develop your opinions - that's super helpful!!!

-bee

Well as you said I am one person and I do not know you or talk to you really so I can't really say yes or no on your specific case. But also I would challenge you to ask yourself why you felt you needed the permission of a black stranger rather than actually sit down and talk to your friends about it.

I have said in other posts that it is less about needing to be black to speak AAVE and more about respect. I am all for cultural sharing and appreciation and I do not think that culture requires specifically only blood ties. I'm a mixed race person, after all, and one who has a quite large mixed race extended and found family. I think that blood is not the only thing that defines us.

But I also think that one must go into these sorts of conversations with respect. My white (passing) mother can understand my black family speaking AAVE, despite the fact that there was a single black kid in her neighborhood and school system when she grew up. This is because she treated my dad and his family with respect, and so they are comfortable speaking this way in front of her, and she is comfortable asking for clarification if she needs it, which is quite rare nowadays considering she's been married to my dad for 35 years and in a relationship with him for 42 and has thus had a lot of practice.

But she also doesn't use AAVE herself. To her, it would be disrespectful. She did not grow up in it. It is not her culture. It is shared with her due to proximity to said culture with her husband and father of her children. But for her, she chooses to continue to use the Pennsylvania Dutch-influenced dialect she grew up in, which is a very white Appalachian specific-to-Pennsylvania dialect and culture. I myself switch back and forth between the two, depending on who I'm talking to. Sometimes in the same conversation, if I'm talking to my mom vs my dad in the same room.

I don't think any of my black family would be offended if she did use AAVE, though again with her personality and the way she has approached this over the last several decades I think they'd be surprised if she suddenly did it like tomorrow or something. But she herself does not think it would be respectful of the culture, the dialect, or of her husband and inlaws for it to come out of her mouth. And I am sort of inclined to agree. Outside of a few slang words that have become so distant from their roots that it is difficult to say they are *purely* AAVE anymore, similar with many historically-Yiddish slang words, I do not personally think she could hold a conversation in AAVE and do it respectfully enough to not be offensive. It's just not really hers to do that with.

On the other hand, when I worked in a mostly-black store in an area that was significantly more black-populated, where I rarely had to code switch and mostly used AAVE all the timewith clients and customers, there were nonblack people who also used and understood AAVE. I had no problem with this, even with the white people doing it, because that was just how everyone in that area spoke. And, mot for nothing, but I found those white people to be as a general rule significantly less racist in their treatment of me and of other people of color, and racial mixing was significantly more common. Again, it's about respect. Even if it's not really a concious thing.

[itzsephig5]

10 (Escape)

My Masterpost

This story on Wattpad

Intro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10.5 11 12

important info for chapter:

Words/Sentences in Romanian:

Mamă - Mom

E în regulă, iubito. Nu plânge - It's okay baby. Don't cry

Y/n's POV:

I looked up after I heard my name. When I looked up, I was face to face with my mother. "Mamă." I say slowly. We just stared at each other for a moment. I put my drink down, got up, and hugged her. It took a moment, but she had done the same. I just started to cry. Four years and I was finally hugging my mother again. "E în regulă, iubito. Nu plânge." She tells me. I just sniffled a bit. It took a moment before I pulled back. "Sit, please." I say as I sat down at the booth. I watched as she sat down across from me. "How did you find me here?" She asked. I let out a hum. I pulled out the news article. "I got into contact with old friends. I know you saw." I say while placing it on the table. She looked down at the table. "You went to Milan?" Wanda asked. I nodded my head. "We've been looking for you for months." I say. "I've been looking for you for years." I added. "I'm sorry." She said. "I'm not going to ask right now. I don't know if I can handle that right now." I say honestly. I could see the look on Wanda's face as she understood what I meant. "Whenever you are ready. I'll tell you." She said. I nodded my head.

"I want to show you something." I say as I pulled out the photo of Aurora. The one Kate had taken for me not long after the two of us moved into the compound. I passed it over to her. She looked at it for a second. "Who is this?" Wanda asked me. I paused while smiling. "That's Aurora." I say before hesitating. "My daughter." I say. I saw her head snap up to me. "Your... daughter?" Wanda asked. I nodded as I handed the photo of me and Aurora not long after I gave birth to her. I see a look cross over her face. "I have a granddaughter?" She asked. "Yup. That's Aurora Elsie Maximoff." I say. "She's three." I added. I saw a look of sadness. "That means." I nodded my head at that statement. "I was 12 when I got pregnant with her and about three months after I turned 13, I gave birth to her." I admitted. "How?" Wanda questioned. I shake my head at that. "I don't like talking about it." I explained. "Is she here with you?" She asked. "She's back at the compound with the Avengers." I say. It was silent for a moment. "I want you to come home." I say after the silence. "I want you to come back, meet Aurora, and stay." I tell her. "I don't know." She says. I let out a hum and nodded. "Well, I'm here for a week, so you have time to think." I say as I took a sip from my coffee. "I'll think about it." Wanda says. I let out a hum. I wasn't sure what else to say. What do you say to a parent you haven't seen in so long. "How did the pregnancy go?" She asked me. I frowned. "It was rough. I didn't know I what was happening. I was put into a group home after you left. After a couple months, I noticed I wasn't feeling well and gaining weight. I went through about a month of that before one of the girls working at the group home decided to take me to the doctor where they told me I was pregnant." I say. I saw that she was listening intensely. "Some of the kids at the group home started to make fun of me for being pregnant and gaining weight. I was a wreck not knowing what to do because I had just lost you and I was facing such a major thing while being 12. I didn't even know if I wanted to keep Aurora at first. I was terrified when I was going into labor. The girl who took me to the doctor was at every appointment with me and she was there for the labor. I was scared but I made it through, and the second I held Aurora, I knew I was going to keep her." I explained. I noticed Wanda looked down. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you going through something so traumatic at a young age." She says. "It's okay mamă." I say. "How long were you in the group home for?" Wanda asked me. "I ran away from the group home last year. I couldn't stay there anymore, especially not with Aurora. We stayed in a hotel before I went to the compound and asked for help." I say. "How did they react?" She asked. I let out a hum. "There's a bunch of new people compared to the last time we had been there. None of them recognized me at first to be honest. It took a minute before Clint had noticed it was me. They asked questions like where you were, who I had with me and a few other things." I explained. For a while, my mom and I talked. "I need to head back to the hotel I'm staying at." I say. I see a look of sadness on her face. "I understand. You're probably tired from flying here." Wanda says. I grabbed the napkin on the table before writing my number on it. "If you want to contact me." I say. "Like I said, I'm here for a week." I added as I passed the napkin over to my mom. "I'll see you around."

[seacliff-shores]

Parts so far: Intro (found on my main art blog)

Part 1 - New Beginnings

As I stepped off the train, the man behind the counter welcomed me. I nodded and thanked him, rolling my suitcase behind me with one hand, the other hand tugging at the strap of my heavy backpack. As I walked outside of the train station, four of the townsfolk greeted me. One woman with blonde curly hair piled high in a ponytail stepped forward and gave me a slight bow.

"Welcome to Seacliff, Mr. Mayor!"

Mister…. what? Mayor??? I'm no Mayor! This must be some sort of mistake or misunderstanding.

"S-sorry, I think you have the wrong guy.. I'm no mayor. I'm just your new neighbor! Eheheh.."

The four townsfolk all looked puzzled. The blonde lady lets out a nervous laugh.

"Hahaha! You're such a character! It's good to know our new mayor has a good sense of humor!"

"B-but..!"

I could barely get a word in edgewise before she cut me off and faced the three other townsfolk that were gathered around us.

"Go ahead you guys- introduce yourselves!"

"My name's Tasha, it's lovely to make your acquaintance…. er.. what's your name?"

"It's Logan, but-"

An older man cuts me off once again. He has eyeshadow and face paint that resembles traditional Japanese theater makeup.

"Name's Kabuki, kid! Been living here for a long time- it'll be nice to have a young person runnin' this town!"

And for a final time- before I can speak, A younger man around my age steps forward. He has purple hair tied into a ponytail with two pieces of long hair that frame his face; And magenta eyeshadow that makes his red eyes glimmer in what's left of the setting sunlight. He's wearing a short-sleeve floral button down and embroidered jeans with sandals. He gives me a slight theatrical bow, the sides of his lips curling up into a warm smile.

"..And my name is Phil. It's wonderful to meet you Lo-"

He raises his head to look me in the eyes and for a moment he pauses as if he's taken aback. He stands up, sort of gawking at me. As I look back at him I also become flustered. Do I know him..? It's like I'm having deja-vu.

He breaks into an awkward chuckle, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

"Ahaha! This is absolutely silly of me- but for a second I thought I've met you somewhere before! Weird, right?"

I snap out of my daze as soon as I hear him say the same thing I'm thinking.

"No but… have I met you before? I must have, right?"

I asked. He lowers his extended hand.

"You mean.. you feel it too?"

He says as he continues to look me in the eye, surprised by my words.

"Old friend of yours, Phil?"

Kabuki asked.

"I.. don't think so. I've never met a Logan before in my life. ..Up until now, that is!"

He faces me and smiles once more.

"Like I was saying before; It's wonderful to meet you, Logan."

I nod at him, smiling back.

"Likewise, Phil."

"Well, Logan! Let's head over to Town Hall!"

The blonde lady says as she makes her way back into the conversation.

"You haven't told me your name yet!" I said to her, half-joking.

"Oh, right!! My name is Isabelle- I'll be your assistant!"

"But I'm still not your ma- H-hey!! Let me go!"

She's pulling on my shirt, practically dragging me as we head to Town hall. After being pulled along, we arrive at an old building that's practically falling apart. The molding on the windows is crumbling, the shingles on the roof are in disarray, and the doorknob is slightly rusted. Isabelle searches her pockets for the key to the door.

"Aha! Found it! Let's just head inside-"

She unlocks the door and holds it open for me. Unlike the outside of the building, the inside is pristine. It's been kept very tidy throughout the years. Books lined up neatly on a bookshelf, an older computer sitting on what would be the mayor's desk, and a neat front desk with a golden name placard that reads "Isabelle".

"Well. This is it! The town hall! I know it's nothing to look at from the outside- she needs a bit of work done, BUT! That's what you're here for, right? I'm sure it'll get taken care of soon enough now that the town is in the right hands."

I sighed and tried to put this as nicely as possible.

"Listen, Isabelle. I'm moving here, yes. But I'm not the mayor. I don't know who you talked to, but I'm not the one for the job."

A look of disappointment overtook her face. She looked away.

"So.. you're really not the one. I'm really sorry, I thought you were trying to be funny and humble about being the mayor but.. I see now that it wasn't a joke and you were telling the truth. My apologies, Logan."

"I-it's okay! Really! I'm sure you'll find someone for the job in no time!"

I said, trying to reassure her things would be okay. She shook her head.

"It's been years since our old mayor left. I've been doing everything around here- but I can't keep up all by myself. No one else here wants to be mayor, either. Someone said they were coming today to take the position, but I guess they flaked."

I paused for a moment. Seeing Isabelle so clearly upset by this situation broke my heart, even though she was a stranger to me. Mayor, huh? I mean, maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all.

"Hey, Isabelle. How about I take the position until someone new shows up? I might not be the best pick for the job, but hey! It'll be better than doing it all on your own!"

Isabelle's eyes lit up, she couldn't believe it.

"OHMYGOSH! You really mean it?! This is amazing! Thank you SO much!"

I rubbed the back of my head and shyly laughed, her explosive energy caught me off guard.

"Haha, no problem! Er.. so.. what now?"

"Well! Our new mayor needs a house- right? Our old mayor used to live by the cliffs overlooking the beach! It's a wonderful house- and you can make renovations as you please! Tom Nook will help with that stuff, he's good with arranging those sorts of things."

"That sounds awesome!"

I exclaimed, getting more and more excited about having a new home with every passing moment.

"But.. it won't be free. You'll have a mortgage."

My excitement quickly became sadness. Mortgage. Just kill me now. But, it beats renting in the city I guess.

"Oh don't worry about it one bit! Tom Nook is really easygoing! Pay it off at your leisure."

"Oh wow you really mean it?! It's not some kind of monthly payment??"

I asked.

"Nope, probably not. You helping the town out like this is sure to help you get on Tom's good side. He'll be really laid-back about it I'm sure."

"You're sure, huh.."

"Yeah! Well, come on! Let's go see your new home!"

She said, literally dragging me along again.

"Hey..! I can walk there myself you don't gotta drag me like that!"

She let go of my shirt and apologized.

"S-sorry! I'm just so excited that we finally have a mayor! Follow me, please!"

[vinxwatches]

watching good omen season 1

ep 1 pilot

haven't seen a lot of it, mostly that people like it, that it's made by people people really like and that it's gay (or at least people make it gay) so you know, good pick for me. and i just watched to animations/animatics on youtube with bad endings and bad endings fuck me up, so hopefully this is happier. intro is a fucking banger. also god has a fem voice? nice. accurate skin colour for the earliest humans. not surprised, but appreciated. making fun of theology and great banter? i love it.

ominous picnic basket. oh... actually quite biblically fitting it seems. i REALLY hope they don't expect me to remember these names too well. many of the characters seem fun though.

of course the american politician says bs like "a regular y chromosome son". which i'm sure has not been tested as you 1: don't know the gender yet. 2: phenotype does not denote genotype.

i wonder who and how they'll figure out who has the wrong baby. "i don't recall what horror of history we had a lunch over, but i do recall what we had." the BEST dynamic.

will they even figure out they got the wrong one? ok, i know that working with an actual 5 year old would be a nightmare... but that kid is like 12.

well done making both heaven and hell look like shit. do you want grime overpopulating or empty, liminal, office spaces?

brilliant end of episode 1.

ep 2 the book

damn the forces of hell are so bloody rude and evil. and so many quick jokes.

question: what are the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse supposed to be in christianity? both biblically and in modern belief? they are separate from devils and angels.

i love a witch that also uses an ipad in her rituals.

"sorry, right number" seriously the humour in this show is so brilliant. i really hope the story is able to match it.

ep 3 hard times

a black knight shrugging is way too funny. i love these two. just two old friends helping each other out, it's just that that's diametrically opposing one another. the angel doing some tempting, the demon some miracles. and upper management doesn't care.

awh, they are just so cute together.

excuse me you are playing intro now? 28 minutes in? that's not an intro. that's a bloody intermission!

they really succeed at making heaving seem so extremely bad. extremely wide shot or extreme close-up. it's so incredibly uncomfortable.

the prime minister has a nice flat chested fucker in his bed.... good for him if he's not cheating.

"mend it all"/"end it all" whispers. really neat.

ep 4 saturday morning funtime

of course he was condemned for nothing more then asking questions.

ah, they got rid of pestilence to replace them with pollution. it's a good change, but feels pretty pre 2020.

oh no, i find his death so sad. he had a love, why kill him? i know the apocalypse is coming but still.

i still really hope that the presidents son turns out to be trans to just break the things he said at the start. then again it wouldn't really work as it's not the kids he said it about. idk, i guess i hope of screen son turns out to be trans to spite the person that'll never know... yea i'm holding out hope for something that doesn't matter.

azi being send to heaving is SO bad. his bookshop possibly burning down is emotionally worse. it was going to be the last episode of the day. but i started watching because i couldn't deal with bad endings, so i guess i'll have to watch one more.

ep 5 the doomsday option

Azi going full rogue (finally).

man that's the most obvious cold reading ever.

the guard reads a neil gaymen book. cute.

sir... your car is... more then a little on fire.

ep 6 the very last day of the rest of their lives

are we doing a flash back episode for the last episode of the season?

oh, please let him rebuild the car just like i want the bookshop rebuild?

the way to defeat the end of the world is to believe and stand (and i hope work) for a world that wouldn't end. a bit on the nose but very nice.

and of course with Terry Pratched being involved death is not to be defeated, just not hastened along.

a kid not doing the one thing they were supposed to do.... there's a trans/gay message in there. also That's Just What Kids Do! you wanted an 11 year old to do what they were told? that's the first part of the problem.

for a TV series that's a pretty good satan. oh that is SO clever. kind of time fucking, but not really so long as you never introduce time travel so it's only true from now on. oh, is it a nicer ending then i though? YES IT IS! \o/

it "ends" as it starts: with a garden and an apple. ok, make it more explicit why don't you.

oh, you subtle bastards. i love it. other scene's now make more sense too, oh how i love it.

ok, yea it makes sense people go wild over this as it's really bloody great.

[midorigakkou]

studyblr intro!!

charlie, he/him

high school student

learning german and japanese

interests:

music! i've played piano for almost 8 years now, and i'm almost always listening to something

languages, i'm taking german for school, but i've been learning japanese on my own time

i've been trying to read more again, i'd love any recommendations :)

movies- i have been trying to pay more attention to how films are made and what techniques they use, but i do also watch them to relax

i'm starting school again soon, so i want to use this to stay on top of things. i'm not always doing the best mentally, so i want to see if doing this helps at all.

i'd love to make friends here, so feel free to interact! sorry if i'm doing anything wrong, i haven't really done anything like this before

[nutria--oscura]

Y'ALL HAVE ME SO SCARED FOR THIS (@cookies-over-yonder @officialgleamstar y'all's posts have slain me) HERE WE GO

like, i'm crting and i haven't even stareted the ep yet wtf-

~spoilers for S2 ep35 under the cut~

preface: I AM SCARED I AM CLUTCHING NICK JR (mouse/rat soft toy) ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

THE PASTA PUNS IN THE INTRO

the sound effects low-key make me wanna throw up-

update: the sound effects make me high-key wanna throw up-

the intro is the high before the storm right? oh dear~

yesss, link is a spouse to his best friends <3

gosh I missed their voices so much <333 <- literally have 100+ episodes it can listen to whenever they want

freddie correcting beth's fact is literally my best friend and i on a daily basis (whos who? we take turns)

i could listen to an entire podcast of just freddie saying facts. like genuinly

HERMIE FACT??? SCAM CONJURED HIM INTO EXISTENCE AS A HIGHSCHOOLER??? MY POOR BOI-

TJ SHOT NICK'S ARM OFF WHAAAAAAA-

TERRY :) WHAT:)?

"your time studying the blade has served you well" what is hapening?

whAT IS HAPPENING????

Terry Jr's back <333

"i did not think that's how this fight was gonna go" same will- same

hey imps? what the fu-

NORMAL'S BACK BOIIIIIIII

ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL NAT 1 HAH

SCARY AND TERRY JR <3

MEMORY TIME OH DEARRR

"in going from enemies to lovers so to speak"

all the fanfics were right- (nicky's reasoning, him attempting to reason with the others)

ron and nicky are such a vibe together honestly

OH NO- NICKY WAS SO REASONABLE TOO AND YET-

LARK AND SPARROW WITH CROSSBOWS TERRY WITH A SHOTGUN WHERE'S GRANT???

"and a badass fight ensues, but also sad"

oh there's grant

OH WE GOT THE WHOLE ASS SCENE OH SHIT-

TERRY SHOT NICKY, NICKY STABBED TERRY-

TERRY JR AND RON <33

terry's memory being ron forgiving him- (henry voice) oh gosh. oh geez-

"did you see what i did to like, my best friend" BEST F R I E N D

"you showed up, y'know?" what if i just combust?

Scary hugging Terry<333

THEY'RE ALL HUGGING

oh my heart

hey glenn, respectfully, fuck offffff

nicky having more emotional intelligence than glenn is so true-

OH HERE COMES THE GLENN AND NICKY AND TAYLOR SHIT-

"i have a memory that you weren't around for. which was the birth of your grandson" AHHHHHHH

"i always thought taylor came out real quiet. like a real stoic ninja." "nope. came out crying like a baby dude"

glenn... glENN. GLENN! NO. NOT INFRONT OF YOUR 3 DAY OLD GRANDSON

THE FANFICTIONS WERE SO RIGHT- (GLENN IN NICKY'S LIFE BEFORE THE FAITHFULL SOCCER TRIP)

brb cause im like actually crying cause of that scene-

ok... lets go... (screaming crying sobbing sliding down a wall)

JODIE VISITEDDDD

FUCKING TELL HIM NICKYYYY FUCKING TELL HIMMMM

"i remember when... was that you? yea, i remember when you were born." WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAS THAT YOU???? THAT WAS YOUR FUCKING SON

YES GLENN. REFLECT BITCH-

"i didn't see a lot of taylor's growing up, and that was- that was- we're cool now, right taylor?" "fuck yea dawgggg. well-" HERE IT COMES

I AM HEEDING THE WARNINGS

"if i'm gonna be honest dad, i've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time and you could be there for me" imma go ahead an roll a d20 of psychic damage- ah, a nat20 damage, yea that seems about righ- HIS VOICE HOW IT WENT ALL SOFT AND QUIET AND SHY AND THE COMPLETE FUCKING OPPOSITE OF HOW HE IS USUALLY OH SHIT OH FUCK

NICKY ROLL PSYCHIC DAMAGE BOI-

"as a result i have developed a number of very bad habits, that i am told are very hard to break"

"it's too late"

"but you know if there is time travel magic, then y'know maybe- or if you find it, you can maybe, pick me up on the way back to the past" HIS VOICE, THE MAYBES-

"we're just 3 cool guys" "well-"

"i didn't even know where you were"

I'M SORRY- THREE (3) YEARS????

NICKY NO- DON'T-

more memories??? MORE MEMORIES??? OH NO-

OUCH OUCH OUCH O U C H-

HE'S DONE WITH KARATE- NO- NO NO NO N O

FUCKING HELL FUCK ME-

sorry, i have strong feeling w/ regards to parents not showing up to (sprots) stuff

~a pattern~

YES LINK, STARE DAGGERS INTO HIM, DEFEND YOUR QPR BESTIE

the- the fanfics were right (glenn keeping his distance not wanting to fuck nicky up but consequentially fucking nicky up)

"as you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks. And in that moment, you and Taylor and Nick, all realise that there is no fixing this, that this is as good as it's going to get. That you are stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddymagic, that same daddymagic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate for their bodies like a fine mist coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more, cause that's what your relationship is..." what if i- what if i lost it? right here right now?

gosh i DID NOT heed the warnings oh noooooooo

i'm sorry- the US MILITARY? oh fbi too

hahahahahahahah ha hah h a what? JODIE AND MORGAN ARE IN CUFFS-

GLENN LISTEN TO JODIE FFS

"i'd like to see you try" "hey is glenn immune to bullets?"

LINK KING OF HELLL HEYYYYYYYYYY-

NORMAL NO. BESTIE I LOVE YOU HECK I AM YOU BUT FUCK NO-

"dude- both of us look at each other - fear, fear in taylor's eyes. like, what the fuck are we getting into? why did i open my mouth?" FEAR IN TAYLOR'S EYES??? FEAR????

I'M SORRY? THE CAGE????

FIGHT TO THE DEATH??? NOOOOOOOOOOO

In conclusion:

I am now obsessed with Taylor Swift (Freddie's version)

[gibbearish]

"Am I Trans?" UQuiz Masterpost

hey there folks, my pinned was getting a bit unwieldy so i figured itd be prudent to set up this landing pad for uquiz visitors. this is not the FAQ, that is still in the works, this is just the intro stuff moved to its own post.

so, with all that out of the way, welcome! my asks and messages are currently open but response times are extremely slow as i am currently about 2 years deep in a depressive episode that makes finding the energy for things difficult. i will be updating this post on a regular basis, so if that says open then you can rest assured it is still current. or if it's not and i forgot to update it, that's on me, not you.

before anything else, i do just want to make it extremely, deeply, incredibly, achingly, transparently clear that i am not in any way a certified / licensed gender therapist. i do not have any training, nor is there an ethics board with which you can take up a complaint if i end up misreading things. i am simply a trans person on the internet who noticed a couple years ago that there were pretty much no "am i trans" quizzes that i could find that werent uhhh let's say unhelpful, and so i made my own, using my own feelings and experiences as a starting point. i may misread you, i may project myself or previous visitors onto you, i may get frustrated with you, i may be wrong about you. i ask that you try to give me grace, to remember that i am human, and to proceed at your own risk.

i take these conversations very seriously and want to be as thorough as possible, but that takes a good deal of work / effort / energy to do well, and as i am currently over a year into a massive depressive episode, that all compounds into long response times. which i do understand can be frustrating, feeling like you're waiting for someone's permission to be yourself (although if that is how it makes you feel, consider what that might say about the answer - i am not actually holding you back from anything by not responding. you can be trans, you don't need my permission or anyone else's. only your own), but i ask for patience, and that you please refrain from spamming me every time i come online. playing stardew valley is a lot less taxing than doing bootleg internet therapy. i haven't forgotten about you, i just havent found the right words yet.

in the meantime, i would recommend a quick scroll through my #uquibberish tag, which contains any asks from other uquiz visitors as well as posts i think are thematically relevant to a lot of these conversations. who knows, maybe you'll find that the answers you seek are very similar to the answers i've given another.

one thing to note is that asks do take a good deal less mental energy to respond to given the more one-and-done nature, so responses to those will likely be faster than for DMs, however i won't be able to get as personal (unless you give me a lot to work with, please do not feel self conscious about sending long asks/messages, they really are quite helpful in terms of giving me stuff to analyze). i also sometimes get a little silly with the ask responses, however i will still always make sure to include a real answer of some sort in the tags.

that all being said, i really do need to stress the fact that i am a real person you are talking to. i am not a gender therapy chatbot and i am not paid to do this. i do this because i want to help, but in order to do that successfully, i need your help as well. i do not know you as a person beyond the things that you tell me, and i am both unable and unwilling to simply assign you a new gender, to pluck your "true" gender out of your head. usually, all i really end up doing is pointing out what things are holding you back from the answer you already know. if you are unwilling to tell me anything about your thoughts and feelings, then i'm sorry, but i'm just. not going to be able to help you out very much. figuring out who you are is something that is difficult and takes a lot of introspection, and is something that you may even never actually get a solid answer on. the question you should be asking is not "what am i, really?" but "what do i want to be? what would it make me happy to be? how would i like to exist in my time on this earth?"

now, with all of that out of the way, i do also know that it can be difficult to know where to start, so here is a rough list of things that i've found helpful in the past. you do not need to provide any of these if you are not comfortable doing so, they are here exclusively to give ideas on where to start. now, with that out of the way:

- age range: to be clear, i do not need to know your exact age and you should always be wary of someone who asks for that. that being said, a general range can be pretty helpful for me to contextualize your message to your stage of life. like, think "middle school vs. high school vs. college or older" type general range.

- similarly, what country/state you live in, and if non-US, a bit about your local political climate vis a vis trans people. once again i do not want or need your exact location and you should be wary of those who try to get it from you, but for a lot of people, the main thing holding them back from transitioning is that the world simply isn't a safe place for trans people at the moment, so knowing if that is in play can be very helpful. I am a USAmerican and have a pretty good grasp of which way the states here tend to lean, and have a much rougher grasp on other countries. I don't want to go into this with some wildly propagandized version of your home in my head and would much prefer to get my information about it from you, the person being actively affected.

- your quiz answer and how it made you feel: with this one the important part is really the second part. i said this in the quiz itself but it bears repeating, i do not have any knowledge of how to properly weight the answers in a personality test, i assigned each answer a result (or multiple results) based entirely on vibes. that being said, if you are now having a lot of complicated feelings about your result, those feelings are the ones we're going to be examining. whether you've been having these feelings for a long time or they only just recently started, if you've been quizhopping searching for an answer (and if there's been a common denominator among those answers that you're avoiding looking in the eye), what the shape of those feelings are, that's the kind of thing we're going to be looking at. don't feel bad if you can't see the feelings themselves yet, this is an exercise in finding the negative space. the thing about facing the things you don't want to face is that you don't want to face them, which sounds obvious put like that, but like. you can't look straight at the sun without the right glasses. not without hurting yourself. the things your brain hides from you, takes away your ability to look at, are hidden for a reason, there is something that is scaring you, something you are defending against, a knot that must be unraveled before we can continue unwinding the thread. it's ok if all you can do for now is point to where the knot is.

- what name you used on the quiz and what day you took it: uquiz allows you to view individual quiz taker's results so if you are comfortable with it, i'm happy to take a peek through to see if there are any trends. as i write this the quiz is sitting at good god, 13000 takers, so if you keysmashed a name unfortunately it has probably been lost to the sands of time :( that being said...

- any questions / answers that hit especially hard: here is a link to a google doc where i've compiled all the questions and answers as reference, so this way if we can't find your quiz or you don't want to share the whole thing, we still have a pretty good starting point on which parts apply to you (side note, i also have a feedback form, however i couldnt think of very many specific questions to ask so just put in two textboxes for you to put your suggestions in)

- family dynamics: as with the country of origin question, something that can hold a lot of trans people back from transitioning is pressure from their family to. well. to not do that, so knowing if that is contributing can be very helpful

- friend dynamics: same as above, some people are held back by the potential reaction of their friendgroup, or alternatively are certain their friends would react positively but still can't shake that feeling, and figuring out if that fear is warranted can be a huge stepping stone in this.

that's all i have for now, though this post may be subject to changes as time goes on. as i said before i am also (slowly) working on a FAQ, so hopefully soon we'll have a way to bridge the response time gap. in the meantime, i hope this was helpful, and i do again highly recommend taking a look through the #uquibberish tag to see if any past questions/answers might apply to you as well. thanks!

(last edited 3/26/25)