#I haven’t slept in so long
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I have never run so swiftly to sketch something in my life. Sorry if it sucks, it was literally done in the hour.
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I’m serious, spoilers ahoy!
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“Always with you, sis.”
#arcane#vi arcane#vi fanart#vi needs a hug#jinx arcane#league of legends#sad lesbians#grief#i drew this instead of sleeping#I watched arcane instead of sleeping#I haven’t slept in so long#I am an emotional wreck#No I still don’t know how to tag#vi and jinx#vi and vander#jinx and vander#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two act three
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3x03 — Forces of Nature
#struggle city#that’s our boy#colin bridgerton#luke newton#bridgerton#polin#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton gifs#this has to be my last gifset of the day#holy shit i haven’t slept in so long omg#worth it
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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Responding to your last post about proshippers complaining about other proshippers. You didn't provide this option, but I really think it should depend on the content of the ask... And yes, this is a confession blog for proshippers/profic, etc. aligned people. Telling us to go to antiship confession blogs is horrifically stupid and is only going to put us in dangerous positions.
The proship community is not immune from being shitty. There are proshippers who act just like antis. People who think they can change their race and give themselves disabilities are straight up infecting the community as well. There are proshippers who are horrifically ableist against pwOSDDID, schizospec disorders, etc. There are proshippers who straight up use slurs they can not reclaim. There are proshippers who call people the r slur. I especially think proshippers with these disorders (including myself) should have a safe outlet to talk about the toxicity and abuse within our own community without telling us to basically become an anti. Because what the hell???
Of course, I can't read every single anon that you get, but if they are anything along the lines of what I'm talking about here, consider not deleting them. Especially don't tell people to "just become antis" or "just go to antiship confession blogs." That's harmful as fuck.
If anything, these confessions should serve as a reality check that our community isn't perfect. Or serve to remind people that this behavior shouldn't or won't be tolerated in the proship community. Not every self-proclaimed "proshipper" is actually a proshipper, especially if they act abusive, ableist, or harass people like antis do. I will die on this hill.
If you don't want to house confessions about these topics, that's fine. Just say so, and I'll make my own confessional blog where these topics are allowed.
You’re right that there are plenty of people who are proship and also shitty af. It’s something that I’ve both posted plenty of confessions about and have actually even—in case you haven’t been familiar with my blog for a while—made my own post about! It’s like one of just a few posts that I have made speaking directly from my mouth and not a confession. It’s just a post that I wrote about behavior that I hate seeing pop up far too commonly in this community. I literally can’t count how many people I have blocked, which includes not only antis, but also shitty proshippers and pricks who claim to be them while supporting harm caused to others in real life.
You’re also right that you can’t read every anon that I get. I would have much preferred that you even just ask what kind of thing I’m talking about instead of acting like you’re some secret second mod and I’m just some asshole who refuses to hold anyone or any behavior accountable as long as I agree with them on some level.
I really do wonder what you would think about one of the (many with a similar tone) asks that inspired this post.
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Do you know how many anons I get with the same fucking attitude and the same fucking insistence that they’re right and I’m wrong and evil, and yet I’m somehow the perfect mouthpiece for their beliefs? What reality check is this supposed to be giving me? Please either stop assuming that everything I say is in bad faith or genuinely try to explain to me what the good content for my followers is in this ask. This is the behavior that I mocked in my post. I also have an old one that I think is somewhere in my drafts(?) where the evil behavior that they’ve seen among a bunch of proshippers that has made them hate all proshippers is venting about harassment from antis. The fake post I made mocking them is an amalgamation of those two, but you only get this one since I’m way too tired to go find the other one rn lol. If someone reminds me, I can reblog it with it later.
Also, I really can’t tell where I said in my post that I would tell these people to go to antiship blogs (other than my reference to a comment where I said that if all that people send to my inbox is how much they hate proshippers and basic proship ideology, then they should probably take that to an anti blog) instead of just deleting the ask, like I actually said in the post. The post that was really more of a way to let off some steam while getting some use out of the Tumblr polls that I practically never get to do anything with. Do you think that the person in those screenshots that I put above is more at home here than they’d be sending this to some anti’s blog?
But like to try to put myself in your shoes, you could’ve been having a shitty day when you sent this, you could be young, or hell, you could’ve seen someone say something similar to my statement recently while meaning this shitty completely different thing. Or maybe you’ve never seen my blog in your life and have no clue what kind of stuff I do/don’t post. My response might sound super defensive, and I hope that it doesn’t, and that I’m not jumping to conclusions, too. I’d hate to blow this out of proportion over what could easily be just a misunderstanding. If I’m being too harsh, sorry. I aim any coldness towards all of these bigoted ideas and the idea that I hold them, and not at you as a person, as I’m willing to believe that you’re an entirely rational person who just misunderstood me and lashed out at me bc of it. But if there is a next time, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t ever intend to do anything harmful, and what I said wasn’t intended to imply anything like what you’re saying here at all. I’m not talking about proshippers venting. I’m talking about actual antis coming into my inbox with the “I’m like TECHNICALLY a proshipper, I guess, but I just despise proshippers and think that people who engage with certain types of fiction are inherently bad!!!” So unless you’re one of these people coming into my inbox, then I am NOT telling YOU to go to antiship confession blogs. And if you are… well, then you’re probably not gonna see this, since I’m going through and blocking all of these dickheads soon.
#thank you for answering my real question which was if I should ever use a poll instead of just silently doing things myself#you… made a BASELESS assumption about me that would’ve been proven wrong with. a quick scroll through my blog. and yelled at me for-#something that I DIDN’T SAY(!!!) for multiple paragraphs over this btw#I’ve considered deleting this blog so many fucking times#I’m honestly so exhausted at this point#if I don’t delete it I’ll probably just queue some things and take a long break#so get in your asks now!#not all your fault or anything. just saying it in case I post this and then there’s a long blank period#or if I come back tomorrow like ‘sorry for my outburst 🥺🥺🥺… mod has baby emotions disorder.’#it’s mostly stress over real life events and I haven’t slept in 24+ hours so I’m sorry if anything doesn’t make sense or is repetitive#what tf ever. man idc.#if I do take a break I might be back when my doctor refills my psychiatric meds#she’s out of office rn#sorry if this comes off as rude#your ask just felt really rude with the baseless accusations and the yelling at me and the telling me that my claiming that antis belong on#anti blogs is ‘horrifically stupid’#and ‘harmful as fuck’#but like whatever. you don’t know the asks I’m talking about#it’s just like really rude to assume that when someone posts a vague half joking rant that they are a bad person#I’m gonna try to get some rest I have a huge headache#I’m so tired
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good morning my children, i JUST woke up i haven’t slept this long in ages
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okay new living room kitchen thing woohoo (will make some minor changes later but overall it should stay like this for a bit)
#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#s4#simblr#ts4 simblr#ts4 build#sims 4 build#eq builds:#i have to redo august’s room cause i misplaced the save file with his new room. it’s okay though cause i want to start fresh#i spent way too long on this and my laptop was screaming at me the whole time. need to upgrade immediately#anyways the sun has fully risen and i haven’t slept so i will be passing out goodbye
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my mum coming into my room to wake me up in the morning
me (who hasn’t slept) on my 7th litwtc episode in a row
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#life in the world to come#litwtc#will wood#chris dunne#cat memes#sad wet cat#shit post#i haven’t slept in so long omfg
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aftg au where everything is the same except janie smalls never tries to kill herself and joins the foxes. neil still gets recruited by wymack but he’s not the only freshman. what’s her story? would the series be any different? who would she be? what would her personality be like? would she become friends with any of the foxes? would her and neil get close? what if riko decided to kill her instead of seth after the kathy ferdinand show? i’ve been thinking about this for days and cannot get it out of my head. help.
#this prob doesn’t make sense sorry english isn’t my first language and i haven’t slept in so long#aftg#the foxhole court#janie smalls#i def should be asleep right now
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linus and sally waiting for the great pumpkin on halloween except it’s james and regulus
#help i haven’t slept in so long#i don’t know who’s who i don’t care#i love u linus van pelt#nothing bad ever happens to james potter on halloween!#somebody sedate me#marauders#jegulus#regulus black#james potter
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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I wish expressing myself didn’t take so much energy
#I Want to dress up in a particular style#I Want to decorate my home#I Want to bake things for my friends#but I am always so damn tired#I feel somewhere between being alive and dead tbh#I haven’t slept in 36 hours and that is probably contributing to this feeling lol#but it is a long standing issue#I don’t feel like I have the energy to Live or do a lot of worthwhile things I want to do#my post#personal#disabled#disability#me/cfs#fibromyalgia#long covid
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i am still so fucked up about this hospital report
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amnesia what the fuck 😭
#I HAVE AMNESIA#might be entitled to an insurance payout because of it though#like 2-5% of 200k lol#but like#im genuinely really fucked up over this i could have died last week#im SO freaking young still#like im going to be recovering from this for a long time#but im alive#i still don’t have my memories back#at this point i don’t think they’re coming back at all#my dreams have been REALLY weird and vivid too#id love to try and talk to other people who have been through this#im trying not to let it monopolize conversations#but i am soooooooo fucked up about it 😬#sulley speaks#I’ll probably delete this later#it’s like 345 am and i haven’t slept
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Had to get up to let Aspen into my room and I thought my best friend died overnight. Like actually fucking died. I hate this stupid man he manages to scare me every single day. What is wrong with him?
#we haven’t slept in the same place in so long. I forgot what he looks like when Dreamdancer ‘helps him sleep’#it’s scary. I need to get used to it again#death mention tw#Frosty’s posts#the subway ghost#unova holiday trip#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#pokeblogging
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stoooppppp i’m going to throw up i was trying to come up with a name for a throwaway one line character in the creative writing final that’s due tomorrow and i was too lazy to come up with a name wholesale so i just did the thing where i combined the first name of one of my friends with the last name of one of my other friends , cool whatever, moving on …. i’m proofreading the thing now and came to that sentence and just realized the character name i created was fucking sarah lawrence, oh my fucking god i’m so glad i caught that im deleting this entire character goodbye sarah lawrence oh my lord
#that’s like naming a character university of michagin like oh my god. i was like yeah this has a nice ring. YEAH NO I WONDER WHY#also it’s extra funny bc my OTHER friend went to undergrad af sarah lawrence.#jesus i haven’t slept in so long
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if I may offer a word of advise to any person out there who may be as stupid as me - do not walk through a field of stinging nettles barefoot
#I’m not about to post a photo of what the bottom of my feet look like (at least not for free) but#just imagine the absolute last thing you would want the bottoms of your feet to look like. That’s what mine look like rn#I haven’t been genuinely fr fr drunk in a long ass time (2 weeks) so I guess this is what I get eh#this happened last night btw I was too drunk to notice the state of my feet so I slept like this 😭😭😭#so now I’m going to have a hangover soon AND I’ve got a literal BILLION tiny needles in my feet#Maybe next time I decided to get hammered I’ll put locks on my shoes to prevent myself from taking them off#Although bright side I’m glad I was just in a field and not walking around barefoot in a street where#I could step on broken glass or hypodermic needles or something lol so. silver lining#But fr idk what to do about it I feel like I’m still too drunk to start plucking them out rn my hands are too shakey#So I guess I’m just going to wait around like this until I’m sober enough?#& love how I was posting about staying in last night lol. Nice try mf you really thought you were just gonna watch a movie then go to bed 😭#I drank well over half a bottle of whiskey last night lmfao I don’t wanna know how many shots that comes out to be… over 10 at least 💀#Maybe I have a problem……. nahhhhhhhjhjjjhhhhhh
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whelp. got my last art fight attack in with literally 35 seconds to spare
#i did a 3d model and animated it. it was scary.#it’s only kind of done though sjfjsk. i’ll post it in a few days when it has the turntable and i add a background and shit#spending like 70 hours on an art fight attack seems. unreasonable.#but to be fair the only thing i’d ever modeled from scratch was el’s little holotape recorder#so most of that time was just. learning how to model and tearing my hair out about how unintuitive blender is.#actually probably 75% was just wrestling blender.#realizing I basically gave myself a month long crash course to learn modeling; texturing; rigging; animation; and rendering#it was a lot and probably a horrible way to go about learning but i did it and i sure did learn#anyways. now i have a migraine and it’s 12pm and i haven’t slept. so bye.#wish babbles
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