#I have. so much I want to update on there
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your friends don’t know what to do.
so!! i redrew every single enemy in the game. in the span of like 9 days (excluding the king i made him right after the last update). that’s abbbout 79* drawings total, with only 3 custom ones for once!! i’m so normal. as always, these are free to use with credit!! go nuts!! spritesheets are included <3
got some notes under the cut, along with As Many Enemies As I Could Fit without making this post obnoxiously long. and i failed. i had to swap between the app and browser several times and i still couldn’t fit every drawing. open this post at your own risk (silly).
okay so first of all. what’s with the asterisk. well. I Drew A Lot More Than 79 Assets Actually. they’re getting posted separately, because this post is ABSURDLY long. you can find most of them in the miscellaneous folder, but for a bit of clarity, i added the teleport map and a bunch of ui elements that reference sprites from the icon sheet. and also the game over and loop back animations but i haven’t finished the spritesheets for those because they’re a pain in the ass so they’re not in the drive yet
if you missed my complaining a few days ago, a few enemies might look a bit crunchy in the actual game? specifically, calamité and désespoir were drawn at the wrong size, because their images in the files do not match the spritesheets! i avoided the issue with most of the other enemies, those two just blindsided me. sorry about that!
^sadnesses having inconsistent designs was actually a running theme with these. détresse rock has an unused design in the files (which i managed to catch before having to redo it thankfully), anxiété has extra spikes that don’t appear on the spritesheet (sorry i was too lazy to fix that one), even the version of the friend rescue in the files doesn’t match any of the frames in the spritesheet. hfjfhfj. sorry about the quality issues.
tangentially related to that, massive thank you to @riggedbones for grabbing the individual frames for the animations for me!! they made my life so much easier. vs friends would’ve been so annoying…
speaking of the animations! hi can you tell i’m not an animator. these were my first time doing Anything animation related since, like, middle school. super sorry for the Jank in some of these! the friend rescue looked way better when i drew it 💔💔.
bourdon’s hands also might act a bit odd, my apologies. the sizing ingame is SUPER inconsistent (why is one of the hands SMALLER than the other????). once i’m able to actually test the mod, i’ll try to fix it wauaua.
the 3 custom sprites are for the triplets! i ended up making two versions for each, one that follows the ingame art, and one with my personal designs for them. i like my own designs for them, but they’re a lot easier to tell apart? so if you want to use the ones that fit the gimmick better, they’re also in the drive 👍
this update. was originally going to have way more custom art. i’ve actually got an act 6 siffrin enemy asset in my art program! but school started and i decided it’d be better to just get the normal stuff done. so the mod can actually come out in a reasonable timeframe. promise that’ll all come out Later! sorry about the wait 😓😓😓
also adding this because i almost forgot: no i don’t know if these are compatible with sasasaap. i don’t have the game still and it’s not my main priority atm, apologies!
okay! that was a lot! and there’s a ton of art down here! thank you for reading all this, i’ll be back with the game over animations and teleport map pretty soon! like. within the weekend. enjoy!!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat redraw project#LORD. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG#there was no way i could’ve fit these into 10 images.#anyways. some of these are just traces. because i couldn’t really do much without changing their designs and potential fucking some stuff up#sorry about that!#im not sure how much people are going to be bothered by that but hey! might as well be transparent#fun fact i made an entire mockup for the vs friends art. i was going to use it as the header for this post buut#i didn’t really like how it turned out. sad!#anyways. ill stop talking now lol. again. apologies for the long post
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hi sorry I swear I'm not dead I'm just beating away perfectionism and video game addiction with a stick.
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#I fucking did it boys#I'm so sorry it took a full year to update with only three pages but istg I'm clawing my way through#had a friend literally just finish aa4 for the first time and finally they got to read this and it got me excited abt this again#these three pages have been ready for a long time#i just wanted to put them in a much larger update#that's still gonna take some time tho#apollo justice 2#turnabout light#the next update might look very different and very rough but I'm gonna fucking do it#hailey's drawing again
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Cherry Picker [1]
«« "Do me a favour and forget your mouth guard next time. Let the puck punch you in the mouth if I can't." »»
Choi Seungcheol x reader | part of the winter with you collab hosted by @camandemstudios!
Part 1: 19k | Part 2
warnings: Hockey player! Seungcheol, figure skater! reader, *deep breath* ENEMIES TO LOVERS, angst, fluff, smut [MINORS DNI], toxic friends, cheol has anger issues, kkuma appearance, @miniseokminnies makes also makes a fluffy appearance, injuries, mentions of blood, smut tags in the next part
synopsis: Cherry Picking [ice hockey]: a manoeuver in which a player, the floater, literally loafs (spends time in idleness) or casually skates behind the opposing team's unsuspecting defencemen while they are in their attacking zone. There wasn't much you counted on in life; just your skates, your drive and how it felt to win. And of course, your local ice rink, that is now being colonised by an obnoxious hockey team in all their big, loud, stinking glory. Neither does it help that one particular red donned specimen forgets to leave his cherry picking on the ice.
[a/n] (it's a long one but PLEASE read) : ITS HERE FINALLY this was an extremely bumpy ride and I wouldn't have finished it without all of my friends who quite literally kept me going. I know I made an update saying this was gonna end up being 20k max but it turns out my yap-itis is for life </33
the posting schedule for this fic is going to be a little less predictable, I will try to get part 2 out asap but I do not currently have a date for you.
big thank you to @highvern for betaing and making me feel better about this fic, @amourcheol for talking me out of meltdowns multiple times and for giving me some really good scene pointers, @ugh-yoongi for being so patient w me and explaining how ice hockey works with so much patience. ty to @the-boy-meets-evil @tusswrites @lovetaroandtaemin for also proof reading for me 🥹
HUGE thank you to everyone at @camandemstudios who agreed to be part of this collab and being part of the journey as we grow 🫶 please check out the collab masterlist linked above, there's already so many amazing fics posted ready for you to read <33
that being said, I know more about figure skating than I do about hockey, but even so there are defo some inconsistencies in terms of accuracies in this, please bear with me 🫶 remember to reblog or send me an ask telling me your thoughts, id love to hear what you guys think 🥹 masterlist
“CAN I HELP YOU?”
“I’m sorry,” you gravel out.
“Sorry isn’t gonna give back my hour and thirteen minutes.”
The strap of your gym bag cuts into your bare shoulder where the collar had slipped, the tight threading sure to leave a scratch by the time this is bound to be done. You’d managed to avoid coach Carroll’s morning cornering for a couple months, going above and beyond by showing up to the icy rink before she could even pull up in the parking lot in her blaring red Porsche, let alone before her ten minute meditations in her cream coloured seats.
“There was an accident on the highway. Truck tipped over.”
“It’s eight in the morning,” Carroll points.
“Illegal truck, I guess.”
Teeth to tongue, you know you’ve done it.
She’s in her usual tracksuit, green today, that contrasts her bright red hair in its tight curls. Her glasses are her sensible Ralph Laurens, eyes piercing through the tinted lens as she holds her chin in her hands. Silent, calculating.
“Fine. Change.”
Your legs want to give out before you can even get your skates on.
There were many things Isabella Carroll was good at. The industry would have one of them be a good coach; one of the most expensive, the one that squeezed the life out of her students to inject into the golds, silvers and bronzes they would then bring her on an equally diamond encrusted platter.
She has also mastered the art of impeccable dressing downs.
The fact she chose to skip out on verbally humiliating you meant you’d managed to strike that cord. She might be leaving in the next 45 minutes, but she has a very particular way of stretching the minutes into years.
Like a whipped horse, you scurry into the locker rooms, skin crawling. Your gym bag is positively launched into your designated locker, shoes kicked off as you attempt to stick your right foot into your skates, narrowly missing your heel as it grazes right past the toe pick.
You slow down after that, not needing a scar on your heel to match the large one on the side of your calf.
By the time you jog back out, unzipping your jacket to throw onto one of the benches, coach is on the ice, following Marina who zips around on the other end of the rink in her step routine.
It’s difficult to not rush through your warmups when you’re already late, your splits hardly pushed out as you pray all that running around in the desolate locker rooms was enough to stretch everything out.
There’s a crash on the illuminated ice as you slip off your skate guards, Marina already practising her Salchows. “You’re in the air for enough time, why can’t you rotate?!”
Right blade first, you step into the cold encircling, gliding into the centre to begin making your usual rounds around the circumference.
There’s a positive screech of your name from across the ice, wind blowing in your hair as you turn to look. “Do I need to hire someone to hold up your free leg? Fix it, girl!”
Holding your left leg more taut, you attempt to transition into a jump and spin. You fail, landing on both feet. Somehow, falling on your ass felt like a better conclusion to that arc.
“Wonderfully executed! Let’s try both hands on the ice too next time, really complete the contemporary finish,” coach hollers out to you as she continues to follow Marina at the same time.
Trying again, you manage to land on your outer left blade. You receive no comment.
You try the jump again, pushing into a sit spin.
The momentum is enough to begin the familiar slack in your scalp, your bun loosening its grip on your hair. Biting your tongue would be dangerous right now, but you would if you could, especially considering the ramifications of your hair coming undone in front of her.
The crouch as you spin burns your thighs like you’re being branded, pulling yourself back up as you finish abruptly. Still no comment, the unintelligible string of nagging coming from the other side of the rink.
Marina stands hands on her hips, breathing so heavily she’s nearly heaving. Her blonde hair is loosening far worse than yours, strands framing her face. Coach Carroll waves her hands and shakes her head so quickly you wonder how her glasses haven’t flown off. You didn’t get to see what cardinal sin Marina committed to warrant this reaction, but you feel better knowing she’s exhausted enough to let her insults swim past.
Ten seconds is enough to catch your breath, moving to do something busy enough to avoid another being screamed at across the ice, again.
By the end of the remaining forty five minutes, you realised your punishment was also punishing Marina. Coach Carroll remained tailing Marina as you attempted to do everything that would please her, far away from her. Not a direction, praise or neutral comment in sight or sound, sealed with her always expected retorts.
She leaves without a word, leaving you scrambling to the benches for a seat. Putting your skate guards on is torture, your legs refusing to pull up to reach them. You hardly notice Marina slam down into the seat beside you to mimic you slumped down and head lolled back, eyes closed to the bright ceiling.
“These skates are gonna kill me,” you whine once you’ve caught your breath, unlacing them to inspect the blistering damage.
“They’re brand new, what did you expect?” she retorts, moving to sit up straighter. Of course, you were grappling at straws expecting anything akin to sympathy from Marina.
It was your misfortune that the day you had to break in your skates was the day you’d be late, your heavily bandaged foot still aching as you sit idle.
Your lungs are still burning when you pull yourself back up, knees buckling the absolute slightest bit as you attempt to take the first baby step back onto the ice.
“We need to get back to it,” Marina says, and you have half a mind to bite that you were up before her.
She’s faster at slipping off her skate guards though, and you watch her back as she glides back onto the ice. You follow suit, trailing her as you speak.
“Hey, I’m sorry Carroll was on your ass because of me. My alarm didn’t go off this morning, I overslept.”
She turns to look at you, ghost of a smile on her face. “Time to go old school I guess, I think my brother left behind his old alarm clock from college.”
“I guess—”
“Besides, I needed that. Wouldn’t have known my Salchows were sucky otherwise.”
She doesn’t let you respond and you’re left to watch as she takes off to warm herself back up.
Strange as it was, you’ve found her behaviour simply doesn’t affect you anymore, choosing to take her as she was. She pushed you to be better, to work harder. Even now, as your ankle burns and your hip screams, you brace yourself into another axel entry, trying your hardest to keep up with Marina.
It’s another couple hours when Marina leaves for her second appointment with her personal trainer, leaving you alone.
It’s less crowded now, despite the head count going from two to one, but you appreciate the alleviation as you continue to practise for the rest of the morning. The rink feels more vast and your hip has stopped its incessant aches.
Having finished a run through of your routine without music, you move towards the sound booth to turn on the tail end of your track, skating back to the echoing rink to brace yourself for the next four agonising minutes.
You’ve adjusted your starting position about ten times by the time the silence of the song restarting settles. And then it begins, soft piano as you push yourself off into the throngs of this hellsent routine.
It’s muscle memory by now, but your stomach lurches before you push into a jump anyway. There isn’t much time to ponder when you’re midair, tight yet contorted, trying to land on the right side of the blade. But there’s a phantom pain in your right ankle, right when you’re at the point of your arc, and you feel the all too dreaded panic flood in.
You land on both feet, less than ideal but with no one to watch the fail, it was better than falling on your ass. There’s been worse outcomes, so there’s little you can do but continue into the step sequence.
Trying to shake off that bout of panic, you briefly wonder if the music suddenly had more bass than you’d last checked. Perhaps you just hadn’t been practising like you should, but you make a mental note mid-spin to listen to the track again later tonight for any tidbits you’d missed.
Your heartbeat is trying to accommodate more air than you can let it, especially as you feel the pulse in your ears quicken as you approach your final jump sequence. The music is louder yet muffled all the same, there’s an incessant banging that you can’t figure out is from your head or a corrupted music file. But you find that sweet spot, deciphering through the ruckus in your brain, and you jump.
It happens again, the strange ache in your ankle that should be long gone, and just like that, all that panic you shook off in the interim comes hurtling back. The world’s gone silent, blaringly so, and for some heaven known reason, you’ve closed your eyes.
You aren’t so lucky this time round, landing directly on your back with a spectacular crash, the ice cutting cold through your thermals as you slide in the direction of your epic fall. Eyelids opening, they’re met with the spotlighted ceiling, head cushioned by the hard plane of ice beneath you.
The pain in your ankle’s escaped like a fugitive, done it’s damaged and left you crumpled on the floor. The adrenaline is rushing just enough to keep you from identifying any other awakened aches, but you have a sneaking feeling your hip is going to hate you after this.
You’re still laying flat on the ice when you realise you're laying in mostly silence. Your music is off, and has been since you came to on the floor. The banging, you realise, wasn’t just in your head either. The unmistakable reverberation of the locker rooms is loud and assuming, noises rattling all the way out onto the echoing rink.
It takes the strength of a village to pull yourself up, but you do it anyhow, ignoring the blatant protests of your mind and soul as you squint across the rink to the sound booth.
As you skate towards the gate, you assume it’s Hansol trying to get your attention by disrupting you mid session, but the figure shuffling into view is telling you otherwise.
It isn’t anyone you know, clearer as you grow closer to the gate. It’s obvious he’s the culprit that turned off your music, your laptop shut and the wire to the speakers disconnected from the port.
You stare at it pointedly as you grapple for your skate guards.
The man does nothing but remain with his hands in the pockets of his bright red hoodie, hovering over your laptop as he watches you struggle with your skates. SVT stitched onto the back in black. He’s as blank faced as ever, a stark contrast to your heavy breathing as you come round.
Standing up straight, you dart between your laptop and this person, waiting for an explanation that seems to be lost in the void. You’re still heaving slightly, scowl forming on your face as this strange man offers you nothing.
“Um, did you—”
“Yeah. It’s four,” he responds, like it was supposed to explain enough.
“And that means…?”
“We have the rink reserved.”
“But it’s Monday,” you respond. It sounds stupid, but it meant something. The rink was reserved on the weekdays for coach Carroll’s mentees, the weekends for the public.
This man and his big brown eyes gaze directly into your soul as he responds, “And that means…?”
You’re sweaty and tired, your feet ache with about five new blisters from the last time you checked, and you’re sure you need to get your hip checked out. Perhaps that’s why there’s this unreasonable surge of irritation that rises in the back of your head, irrational and half blinding.
“That means—”
“Seungcheol! Get your ass in the locker room before I drag you in there myself.” The voice that rings out is heavy and has you flinching, the man’s order echoing from somewhere in the tunnel that leads to the locker rooms.
The man you assume is named Seungcheol begins to walk away from you without a word or gesture, and you can only blink at his retreating back.
“Hey! Do you mind not touching my stuff next time round?” you call out as a last ditch attempt to have the last word. He turns his head to you, eyebrows raised and a smirk of mild disbelief growing on his face. Nothing is said as his head turns back to the front, strutting into the tunnel.
He lets you have your last word as he walks away, your gaze the same shade of crimson as his retreating form.
“AND THEN—THESE—HUGE dudes with fucking botox or fillers in their shoulders storm out—”
Your vent is interrupted by Lorelai who’s burst out laughing mid bite of her sandwich, “What?”
“Botox!” she muffles a shriek through a full mouth.
“They were shoulder pads or something, you get it!”
The air in the outside seating of this cafe is stellar, the perfect in between you wait for all year. The parasol above you is enough so you don’t have to squint your eyes in the late afternoon sun, the wind perfectly paced in a breeze. Your own sandwich remains untouched, the bread gone stale as you pick at the corner of the crust.
“Apologies,” she yips. “So you're saying we’re being partially colonised by hockey players?”
“I don’t know! Was it a one time thing, a weekly thing? It can’t be a weekly thing, Monday afternoons are routine practice days.”
“The routine you’ve been practising for the past year and a half?”
“I can’t afford getting rusty.”
Lorelai drops her head like she’s had enough, “Maybe these hockey jocks are a blessing.”
“What?”
“Nothing! Hey, do you want cake, they have cheesecake, I could get some!”
“Lorry!”
“Okay,” she huffs, dropping back into her seat with blown cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
Lorelai has a sense of humour that took you more than enough time to decipher, but that wasn’t nearly the first thing you noticed about her. She was beautiful, even more so with the sun gracing her like a loving embrace. The highlights in her otherwise dark hair make the hazel of her eyes pop like two perfectly welcoming cliffs to jump off from. She was the definition of spunk and valour, yet graceful in everything she does. Even now, as she picks up her smoked turkey on honey oat, complete with every fixing and condiment on earth, you question how she can wrench her mouth open to take a reasonable bite; but she does, not a crumb out of place.
“I have to share a rink with dudes whose hockey sticks are gonna make craters in the ice, why are you not mourning with me?”
“Pretty sure your toe picks do the same thing.”
“Lorelai!”
“Not the government name!” she wails as though woefully wounded.
“You’re impossible.”
“Carroll didn’t hate me for no reason.” She smiles in her pride.
Lorelai’s competitive skating career came to an end sometime last year before the Grand Prix, a decision she announced gracefully with the words BITE ME etched with sharpie on her brand new competition skates. It was difficult to erase the mental image of the scarlet of Carrol’s face when Lorelai marched in with her hair chopped so short it’d be impossible to pull into a bun, marked skates in hand and a mask of determined rebellion on her face. Of course, the whole ordeal could’ve been an email, but it simply wouldn’t have been Lorelai.
“It’s not like you were trying very hard to please her,” you grumble, nibbling on a fry.
“Why would I try pleasing that woman?”
“For one thing, your sponsors were paying a bucketload so you could have her.”
“I didn’t want Carroll as a coach. Ever. I wanted Jameson. The only reason they put me with Carroll was because they were putting you and Marina with her.” Her voice is hard, eyebrows raised the slightest bit.
“What does Jameson offer that Carroll doesn’t?!”
“Oh! I don’t know, let’s see,” she raises her voice as her sarcasm begins to simmer with a lethal edge. “Maybe the fact that an hour training with Jameson doesn’t feel like the subjected wrath of a world war two dictator!”
“Carroll is not that bad!”
“God, you become more like Marina everyday.”
You frown, “What does that mean?”
“It means—!” Lorelai pauses to close her eyes, and you can almost hear her counting in her head. “It means nothing. Eat your sandwich before the bread starts molding.”
“Ew.”
Lorelai smirks. “Bite me.”
You attempt to channel some of that Lorelai energy when you get to the rink past noon on a weekday. You hope you’re reasonable in your hope that Hansol will be in his office as you walk towards the door.
Three rapt knocks before you hear a muffled voice telling you to come in. The door creaks when you open it. Loudly, might you add.
“How long is it gonna sing every time I come in here?” you grimace.
Hansol looks at you from behind his laptop with a tight smile. “For as long as I keep forgetting to oil the hinges.”
Hansol, for as young and qualified as he is, is only the rink manager because his family owns the place. Having graduated the year before with a shiny new law degree, he opted to take a break from moving forward with his career to “slow down” as he put it. The rink was as slow as it could get for him, betting the only important thing on his laptop screen currently was solitaire.
“Did you also forget that I have the rink during the day on weekdays?
“Ah. You’ve encountered the hockey team.”
“Yes. They turned off my music mid routine.”
“They're only here till the renovations in their home rink are done, we’re the only other rink in town that’s closed to the public on weekdays.”
“But they’re cutting into my practice time?” you add, brows furrowed.
Hansol opens his mouth before closing it again, eyebrows raised. “You clock in here five days a week, ten hours a day.”
“And?”
Hansol huffs out a breath. “Listen, I know you and the other skaters like having the rink to yourselves, and I’d be happy if it was always just you guys. Trust me, these jocks are impossible to clean up after, let alone deal with. Between the launch pad calibre noise and the stupid plastic barriers I have to put up on the railings, I’d love for it to just be you guys. But the only times you officially have the rinks booked is in the mornings when you’re training with coach Carrol, the rest of the week is technically up for grabs.”
“Let me book the rest of the slots then.”
“SVT’s already booked most of the remaining hours.” Hansol’s voice is sympathetic, but his words seemed final. You aren’t sure how bad your face was contorted, because suddenly he’s adding, “But hey, you can look at the leftover hours if they work for you.”
He pulls out the roster on a tablet before handing it to you. It only takes you a minute to scroll before you realise the only viable options were past 10 PM. The rink closed at 11.
You sigh, shoulders visibly sagging as you let out a bated breath of tension. “It’s fine.” You hand the tablet back to Hansol. “I’ll figure it out.”
Turning on your heel, you make a move to leave the premises. Hansol calls out your name.
“I’m sorry. Really.”
You muster a smile, one that you cannot feel the slightest bit. “It’s alright.”
“Only a few months.”
Something in your smile sours, and you nod absentmindedly. “Only a few months.”
THERE WERE OTHER WAYS the universe could have let it happen, someplace where you might have forgiven yourself. Someplace you had reason to be.
You were accustomed to physical exertion, how could you not be when you were what you were, but hiking on an incline was never something you fancied yourself with. Gyms and coaches and paved running trails are nothing like rocky terrains and steep mountain paths with no guide but a mobile map.
The semi finals had passed you by, handing you a gold medal along the way as you thrust yourself into bliss. It was a job well done, so much so that you allowed yourself a weekend of something other than skating rinks and training sessions. So many nights that you can hardly remember, yet flash like lightning under your eyelids. Where you sobbed into your pillow and cursed yourself for ever having the gall to take a step back, to be so arrogant and blustering to announce yourself away from the thing that should’ve mattered the most.
It only took one tiny crater in the path to twist your ankle so hard you crumple to the ground with a scream you cannot remember. More hands than you have holding on to your searing ankle, like they were holding it together with nothing but their palms and fingers. Lorelai was talking, and talking and talking, but all you could hear was the roaring question in your mind.
Why did you bring me here?
Six weeks.
You watched with your own eyes as the Grand Prix final shuttered away on a reel, like you were watching a movie from an age you could not visit.
Six weeks.
Marina sat beside your bed and said words you’d never forget.
“I’m sorry, but…this is your own fault.”
Six weeks.
Lorelai wept, and said the same words for an entirely different reason.
“I’m sorry. This is my fault, it was my idea.”
Six weeks.
Carroll kept face, but you could see past the mask. A sigh that said more than any words of reassurance. Disappointed but not surprised.
Six weeks you were bedridden with an ankle that refused to support your weight on the surface area of your bare foot, let alone on the 3/16th of an inch on a blade.
Bedrest, meds, physical therapy, and still. The ache in your ankle follows you like a ghost haunting you of your worst mistake.
It was your fault. You chose to put whimsy above everything you laboured for, for years and years. You chose to look past your shortcomings like they would not become your achilles heel. You chose to get on that trail. You chose to walk out on crutches.
You, who could land a jump on a fraction of an inch of steel, could now barely stand on her own two feet.
You’d decided on that day, that you were as pathetic as they come.
IT WAS THE MOST natural decision to drag Lorelai out of where she rotted in bed to come with you to the rink.
“You want me to fight them?” She’s wearing her Winnie the Pooh fuzzy pyjama pants and a university hoodie on top, her short hair concealed in the hood she’s pulled up. “They are hockey players. We are twigs!”
“Lorry. Have you ever thrown a punch in your life?” you ask her as you pull your hair back into a loose bind.
“No?”
“Then why on earth would I ask you to fight goblins triple our size?”
Her mouth is gaping in disbelief. “Why am I here then?”
“You,” you start, grabbing your skates and moving out of the locker rooms. “Are gonna sit pretty in that sound booth and make sure nobody touches my laptop.”
“…you realise Hansol has security cameras right?”
“Are you planning on robbing my laptop?”
“No. Although it does have nice specs.”
You ignore her as you walk towards the benches. “That stupid hockey team needs to know I have reinforcements of my own.”
Lorelai stands there, brows furrowed and in clothes that drown her. She glances down at her outfit and then back up at you. She deadpans, “This is the most unthreatening I have ever looked.”
“Just—” You stand up too quickly and feel yourself wobble. The railing is hardly a foot away, your hand moving over to grab it. Except your palms feel nothing but the flat of something smooth and hard, fingers bumping into the feeling of something unfamiliar.
You manage to find your balance with a yelp, immediately snapping up to see where you missed the railing. The railing was still there, perfectly within arms reach. There’s a glare in your vision, like looking through a screen. Higher and higher, you realise quickly that you’ve been looking through a clear barrier so high up you can hardly find where it ends in its erect standing.
Lorelai speaks up first, her voice resonating loudly, “Isn’t that supposed to be on the other side of the railing. Stupid, stupid Hansol.”
It looks like it stretches throughout the circumference of the rink, wrapping whoever’s inside in a giant plastic fish bowl.
There’s a clench in your jaw you can’t control, something a little more than annoyance building in your senses. It should be an easy thing to ignore, especially regarding its practically invisible nature, but its presence is all you can think about, even as you step your right blade onto the ice.
Skating towards the middle of the rink, you feel claustrophobic.
“Woah! You look like a zoo animal,” Lorealai adds unnecessarily.
“Just play the track,” you grumble.
“There should be a don’t tap on the glass sign,” she says, voice muffled as yells from the benches. “You already look like a weasel, can’t have confused people in the stands.”
“Lorry!”
“What?” she yells, her voice muffled as she yells from the benches.
You curse the plastic that cages you as you yell louder, “Play the track!”
Lorelai nods and makes a noise of understanding, and you watch her as she disappears into the sound booth.
Taking your starting position, you wait for the quiet lull of the track before the beginning of the unmistakable piano; the low tremor in the beginning existing to prepare you to jump into the routine. You stand there with your arms out like a swan, waiting for your cue that won't seem to arrive.
You almost yell out at Lorelai again before you suddenly hear the resonating shrill of the piano notes, startling yourself out of your first push. It’s fine, you’ll recover. You’re distracted by your staggered start and it’s enough to have you miss your first jump. It’s fine. You’ll recover.
By the time the four minutes are up, you’ve missed two of your five jumps, a spin gone wrong, and nearly crashed into the plastic barrier. Not to mention, the aches in your body are enough to seem impossible to geographically pinpoint.
It’s pointed, the way you make a beeline for the benches, refusing to look at Lorelai. You can almost imagine her expression, the poker face she has when she’s trying to think of ways to structure her next words nicely.
“What was that?” she deadpans, voice a little far away. Your body hurts enough to take your focus away from her.
“I don’t know.”
“I thought your ankle was fine now?” she asks.
You grit your teeth. “It is.” Lies. The way it was hurting you right now was making sure to remind you of that.
“You know, you did pick back up a lot earlier than we thought—”
“I said I’m fine, Lorry,” you snap. “Now can you please play the track again.”
You finally look up, and she looks like she wants to say something. But you’re on the ice before she can.
You adapt to the excess muffle of the plastic barriers, ears straining to hear the beginning of the piano before you jump into the choreography smoother than last time. This time round, it’s better. The pain in your ankle and the budding one in your hip is apparent, but it’s suddenly easier to drown it out. Focusing on the music, keeping your centre of gravity, pushing into your jumps and spins with enough vigour to hold to what you are.
Another four minutes pass and it’s over. Immediately, you swing over to the soundbooth to find Lorelai, only to find her joined by an extra set of people.
Impossibly, your blood runs cold.
There’s a sneaking suspicion you know who it is despite the two men having their backs turned to you, especially judging by the obnoxious red jackets they have on. SVT. You can hear Lorelai speak indecipherably, her voice stern.
“And you are?” one of them asks. You don’t recognise him, but you do the other one. The one who turned your music off the first day him and his team stepped foot in here.
“Lorelai!” she yells it for no reason.
“Gilmore?” The one you recognise snorts. Seungcheol, that’s what they called him the last time you saw him in the sound booth.
“I’m worse,” she states.
“Lorry?” you interrupt, arms crossed and gaze directed at her.
“Lorry?” The one you don’t recognise says. “Like a truck?”
“You think you’re funny?” Lorelai takes a step towards him, a fair attempt to look threatening if it weren’t for her very unthreatening attire.
“Oh look at her pyjamas! It’s Pooh bear, Cheol,” he exclaims. That seems to irritate him.
“Can you replay the track, please, I have to smooth things over,” you intervene. In your mind, ignoring their presence in your space was the best solution, refusing to give them a way to merge into your lane.
“Woah, we have the rink booked today,” Seungcheol stops you. “4:30.”
Snapping around to find the clock on the adjacent wall, you read the time. “4:17. You can wait.”
He raises his eyebrows. “And thirteen minutes makes what difference?”
“You said 4:30. It is not 4:30 yet.”
The other one thumps him on the back, all smiles. “We can wait, right, Cheol? Besides, we have to put our skates on.”
His gaze is hard and doesn’t leave yours. “Fine.”
You break away first to find Lorelai still in the same position, staring at the exchange. You ignore the two men that stand there and address her, “Play the track.”
Before the music begins, you glance back to the benches where the two men have seated themselves, apparently strapping in to watch you. You dig your nails into your palm to reign yourself back in. No point in getting upset.
The piano begins, and you're determined to not mess up. Especially not right now.
It goes well for all of 45 seconds, you're hitting the right beats, you feel like water. But then the first jump comes along and you see a flash of red from the stands. An irrational feeling hits you as you push into the first jump, it’s enough to make you stumble when you land. You manage to not fall, but it’s obvious you’ve messed up.
Somewhere beyond the music you hear a distinct, “Solid 4!”
It distracts you again, and you miss a move. Somehow your second jump ends up worse, and you feel your bottom hit the hard ice.
“8 point 5! Nice!”
It doesn’t take long for you to realise what they’re doing, anger crashing into you like a flash flood. Scoring your falls? You’re determined to make the next jump combination. You make it fine, but your quad Salchow turns into a triple. The oafs are too shallow to notice, so you hear no jeer.
But you know that you messed up the only quad in your entire program.
The last jump goes from a triple axel to a double, and you want to break something.
The song ends, and you know you have another nine minutes left to yourself, but all you can think about is getting out of the vicinity as soon as possible. Away from all of the eyes that are trained on your hunched form.
There’s nothing you know about Seungcheol, and yet, the thought of him even looking at you right now is unbearable. Twice you fell, countless times you failed.
Lorelai says nothing while you pack up, and nothing as you leave the rink.
“CHOI SEUNGCHEOL, CENTER,” LORELAI reads aloud from your bed with her mouth still full of salt ‘n vinegar chips.
“Perfect, he already thinks he’s the center of the universe,” you grumble from your position on the floor of the bedroom. Your foam roller feels like heaven under your calves, but the position is beginning to cramp.
“Surprised you haven’t heard of him, he’s half a celebrity.”
You turn to her, “I have two gold medals and five podiums for every major skating event.”
“Do I ask for your autograph?”
“He’s not special.”
“Hm. His skill and popularity would beg to differ.”
“Why are you so hellbent on liking him?”
“Because he’s cute,” she grins wide. “Although the other one was cuter, very angel-like. And he liked my Pooh Bear trousers. Can’t find his name on the team roster though.”
“He was wearing the same stupid jacket—”
You’re cut off by a gasp, a loud one at that. “He coaches the babies!”
Her face is contorted into something between an “aw” and a sob.
Lorelai’s phone is dropped dramatically on the bed as she thrashes on your made (now unmade) bed. You swipe the phone and read. His picture is there, the name Yoon Jeonghan, Junior League Coach.
“Good for him.”
“He just got five times hotter,” she states like she’s out of breath.
“Give it another meeting and he’ll give you five other reasons to hate him.”
“God, you’re so negative,” she huffs.
“They’re hogging my rink!”
“It is not your rink.”
“It’s as good as!”
“Whatever.” Lorelai rolls her eyes and sets back on the bed, no doubt searching the man up by name.
“Ow!” you yelp as you stand up from the ground, ankle twisting slightly in the process.
Lorelai jumps. “What?”
“Nothing,” you mumble quickly, hoping she’d drop it. But she catches your lingering stare on your bad ankle.
“It’s still hurting, isn’t it?”
“I just twisted it weird,” you defend, walking to pack up your foam rollers.
You’re met with silence, but you know she’s thinking. Lorelai speaks, “Maybe you should skip out on the shelter today.”
You snort, “Why would I do that?”
Once, sometimes twice a week, you’d volunteer at the local pet shelter. It wasn’t hard work, mostly taking the bigger, more energetic dogs for their runs because it seemed you were the only one who could keep up with their stamina. And now Lorelai is trying to take that away from you.
“I saw how you struggled at the rink today, there’s not a day you don’t rest. Like, actually rest.”
“That has nothing to do with me struggling!” you retort.
“What is it then?” she asks, sitting up straighter, defiance in her gaze. “What is it that’s making you skate like you bought your first pair yesterday?”
The irritation is growing into something hotter, her defiance pushing you into a corner.
“I know what you want to hear from me.” Your voice is shaky. “I’m not going to say it.”
“Because it’s not true? Or because you’ve been convinced it’s not?”
You know what she’s talking about, and you know you’ve been avoiding the topic like it’s the plague. The ache in your ankle comes alive, and in that moment, you cannot tell if you’re imagining it or not.
“Convinced by who?” you snap, shoving the box of foam rollers under your desk.
“Does that have to come from me too?”
“Lorry, I don’t know what you want from me!”
“I—”
There’s a knock on your door, loud and demanding. Wrenching it open, you find Marina behind it.
She has a frown on her face. “You’re still here? I thought you were running with the dogs today?”
“It’s none of your business if she goes or not, Marina.” Lorelai’s tongue drips with venom most commonly reserved for her most hated people.
Marina, still in her workout clothes and duffel bag, furrows her eyebrows. “Who shoved a pole up your ass?”
“I’m leaving in five,” you hiss, before making a motion to close the door.
When you turn around, Lorelai is still on your bed, hands in fists like she’s holding herself back. There’s more behind her eyes than you could even consider unravelling.
She leaves before you.
THE ENTIRE WAY TO the rink was just one constant string of prayer.
All of them go unanswered when you walk in to find the rink full of hockey players in red and black gear.
The only thing you can do is curse under your breath, only watching frozen in your tracks as a million players skate across the rink passing and yelling at each other. No one you recognise, their helmets and gear eluding any semblance of individuality.
Where you stand, a little ways away from the plastic screen and the benches, a dark circular puck suddenly slams directly into the boundary at eye level. On instinct, you flinch at the loud bang, half expecting to get hit.
When you open your eyes, somebody’s skating up to the boundary, and you lock eyes through the cage of his helmet.
Your blood is suddenly charged with something electric, fingers curling into fists on instinct.
Suddenly, all that rings in your ears is the distinct jeers of numbers over the muffle of plastic as you continue to fall, and fall, and fall on the cold, unforgiving ice. The amusement in your failure, the joy in your defeat.
Spinning on your heel, you stalk to Hansol’s office.
In your blinding anger, you take a wrong turn, looking up to realise you’ve walked into the locker rooms. You’re one step into the men's locker room when you come back to your senses, startling yourself once again as you spin back from where you came, only you’ve been caught.
For all the luck you’ve received in this life, it seems to opt out at that exact moment as you hear the unmistakable noise of a herd of ogres walking in, the glare of red on the walls surrounding them. Frozen in your spot, you can only grip the straps of your duffel bag harder, tense up like you were preparing for impact. When they turn the corner, the brilliant idea of simply walking towards the women’s locker rooms befalls you. But it’s too late.
Seungcheol saunters into the hallway, leading the pack.
His helmet is in his hands instead of on his head, revealing a sopping mop of hair drenched in what you can only imagine is sweat. He’s laughing at his teammate who’s making futile attempts to escape his own helmet, not noticing you in the way.
Until he does. His smile fades immediately, eyebrows raised as he registers you in the doorway. You feel his gaze on you for a few silent moments, his teammates shushing at the shift in the air. Seungcheol opens his mouth, and you already know all that’s going to leave it is dung. “Didn’t realise the rink had a vacancy. Do I need to show you my ID to take a shower?”
A rustle of chortles and chuckles flitter from the group. “Go ahead. I don’t need an ID to tell you need a shower.”
Somebody ooh’s, despite it not being your best work. You suppose it was your delivery that did it. Deciding to continue riding that high, you simply turn towards the women’s locker rooms, refusing to give Seungcheol the luxury of your eyes on him.
Hurtling into the women’s locker room, you throw your duffel bag somewhere you’ll regret and crumple into one of the seats. You count to ten, attempting to take the image of Seungcheol out of your brain.
It was difficult to rile you up to this extent, a trait you needed to possess if you were to be coached by Carroll in any capacity. There was so much you heard from her mouth, swallowing it like a prescribed pill and nothing more. Take what you were given, because it was given by the best, bought for you by the best.
Yet for some reason, Seungcheol manages to irk you in ways you previously have never encountered. Irritating people come and go, but you doubt you could place him as something as simple as just irritating. His presence felt like an intrusion, his air was thick like a concentrated gas. Everything he’s said to you so far has come from nothing but disdain and condescension, his haughty personality the only takeaway when he enters a room.
You’re still in your outdoor shoes and jacket by the time twenty minutes are over, coming to a conclusion as you get up from the empty, soulless locker room. Hansol is in his office when you make the formality knock before barging in. His head is on the desk, like he’s asleep. It takes him a second, by he lifts his forehead from the papers on the tabletop to regard you at the door. You hear him sigh.
“The hockey team’s done. It’s two.”
“I wanna book a slot.”
“The rink’s empty you don’t—”
“Let me book the slot, Hansol.”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re turning out worse than those baboons,” he curses before setting his forehead back onto the table. “Write it on the sticky note, I’ll put it in the schedule.”
“Now. I wanna book a slot for right now,” you grit.
Hansol whips his head up again, eyes wide like he’s holding himself back, nodding furiously as he pulls his keyboard towards himself with an unnecessarily aggressive tug. “Fine. 2:16 till closing. Enter. Print. Here.”
He hands you the printed receipt of your slot, ripping it from the printer tray as he does it. You take it from him in the same vigour, hardly a thank you as you spin on your heels and walk out the door. You stop for a minute, turning back around to yell into the office.
“Go home if you’re just gonna nap on your desk!”
Not waiting for a response, you stalk towards the locker rooms. Within minutes you’ve tugged on your skates, laptop and shoes in each hand as you emerge out the tunnel to the rink.
The ice is empty, mostly. Placing your laptop in the sound booth and your shoes under the benches, you step foot on the ice. They’re there, on the other end, sitting on the cold ice with their jerseys still on, eating what looks like cups of dippin dots.
Seungcheol and Jeonghan, you remember from Lorelai’s squealing, either don’t notice you on the ice, or simply choose not to. Because it’s easy as you skate up to them, gaining speed from across the rink, you slide to a stop, sending a perfect spray of ice from your skates, directly into their ice cream cups.
Seungcheol’s full spoon hangs mid air, halfway to his mouth, now garnished with ice shavings.
“Thought you’d have the respect to keep the dippin dots out of this,” Jeonghan comments, disbelief in his eyes as he looks up at you.
“Ice is booked.”
“What time?” Seungcheol asks. Your gaze flickers to the left side of his face, a nasty bruise blooming purple and blue that you hadn’t noticed before.
“2:16. It’s nearly fifteen minutes past.”
“You’re only one person.” He’s significantly more annoyed than when you saw him outside the locker rooms just minutes ago.
“And?”
“And…you have about 97% of the rink to yourself.”
You raise your brows, hands on your hips. “But I booked 100% of it. So I’m gonna need that plane of ice you’re currently sitting on.”
“What if I don’t move?” Seungcheol presses. It’s menacing, the way he looks at you, like he’s a lion only waiting to be provoked. Maybe he’s already halfway there, because it sure looks like it.
“We’ll find out another day,” Jeonghan sings before you can snap back, grabbing onto the collar of Seungcheol’s red and white jersey to yank him up. He continues to glare as he obliges with his friend’s tugs, nearly as angry as you are. “Let’s go, sport.”
You watch as they walk to the exit of the ice, realising they’re wearing their shoes instead of their skates.
Jeonghan calls from the benches, right before he and Seungcheol move out of view. “Trash those for us, would you?”
Their half eaten dippin dots cups, with the ice now melting on them remains on the floor of the rink. Once again, the unexplainable urge to kick something befalls you, hearing them laugh and talk from far away as they exit the rink behind their long gone teammates.
You give in, swinging a leg over to kick the cups and spoons, dippin dots and plastic scattering across the ice. It’s another sprawl of mess you’ll have to clean up, but it feels good to ruin something of his, no matter how inconsequential. The empty rink encourages you, needing to scream so loud the plastic barriers crack and break. You know it’s impossible, but that doesn’t stop the urge.
You channel it into the most aggressive warmups on ice you’ve ever done. Your spins are faster, your jumps higher. But this also means you crash heavier, fall harder. It’s then, sitting on the bench to take a break, breathing so heavy you can hardly sip your water, you find an unmistakable headline on your browser home page.
Everything stops.
!HOT TOPIC!
SEAT AT RISK FOR SVT HOCKEY TEAM’S SHINING STAR? Read All About It Here!
!HOT TOPIC!
SEAT AT RISK FOR SVT HOCKEY TEAM’S SHINING STAR? Read All About It Here!
Choi Seungcheol’s seat for next season at risk? Insider reports that the hot headed center may be at risk of contract termination due to recent controversy. The hockey player, renowned for his aggressive playing tendencies, seems to be taking his temperament outside of the rink. Multiple games played by SVT have been subject to eventful halves and quarters, the center seen getting violent in the benches with opposing team members, and sometimes even team members of his own! While his short temper has always been a recurring subject in the news, his skills as a player have always remained top notch—we do wonder if he even has to try! The tables seem to turn a little differently this time around, because it looks that SVT higher ups have been fed up with the increasing reports of Choi’s aggressive behaviour. Insider sources report that talks of a contract termination may be coming into order. While he has proven to be an effective player on the ice, it seems as though it won’t be saving him from this particular ramification!
Stay tuned, hockey fanatics, as we bring you more updates on Choi’s sticky situation!
BEFORE EVERYTHING, BEFORE YOUR ankle, before it began to feel like your world was crumbling at your feet, came the scar on your leg.
In hindsight, it feels like it was the very thing that set the ball rolling, the beginning of your demise.
Coach Carroll was only on her first handful of sessions with you, Lorelai and Marina, all of you still learning her quirks and expectations as a coach.
It happened when you were on the sidelines, hanging over the boundary as Lorelai handed you a water bottle from the benches. Marina was practicing her routine, taking up most of the ice as Coach followed on the side. It seemed unclear, to this day, whether you’d drifted inwards on the ice as you sipped from the bottle, unaware. But when you felt the hot searing pain in your calf, there were only two people on the scene.
Marina skated past, her free leg in the air, meeting your calf as she skated past, effectively slicing into your leg in a deep gash. Blood was wiped off the ice, your leg bandaged and wrapped. Not without Coach and her comments, of course.
You heard her berate Marina from the other room, for moving closer to the boundary than what was required for her routine, heard the way she gave her the blame. And then she round up on you.
“Idiot! No reason to be on the ice when you aren’t practicing, did you want it to be your ankles too?!”
It was the first time you realised that Carroll was beyond your perception of the word demanding, her gaze remained in a high place, no regard for what it took to get there. Even if it meant destroying her skaters.
Marina apologised. “I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t see you there, I would’ve dropped my leg—”
“It’s okay, Marina. Really,” you smiled through the still aching wound. “I know you didn’t mean it.”
She smiled a little too, “Lesson learned, I guess. Don’t loiter on the ice.”
It was difficult to keep the smile from fading as you heard her say that.
“What shit apology is that?!” Lorelai yelled as soon as you mentioned it to her later. You cringe as you realise what slipped, and to whom it slipped to.
“It’s the best I’m gonna get from her, Lorry. Honestly, I don’t care.”
“You’re out of service for a week till that slice heals and that’s all she has to give you?”
Lorelai is breathing heavily, mostly because she’s been practicing her triple axels for her routine, but also because she’s extensively heated for you. You watch her from the benches.
“Lorry,” you sigh.
“Listen, I wanna win too but—”
“Are you trying to say she did it on purpose?” you ask.
“No! Let me finish, woman,” she snaps. “I wanna win, you wanna win. We’re doing everything we can because we want to win—”
“So this was a subconscious attack?” you interject.
“Fuck this, I’m leaving,” Lorelai begins to skate backwards and away, leaving you on the bench.
“NO! Wait, okay, I’m sorry I won’t interrupt.”
“Too late.”
“Lorry! Lorelai!”
It wasn’t until you were back in your shared apartment, Marina out doing whatever while Lorelai hijacked your bed that she got to finish her sentence. She was rubbing ointment on a bruise while you changed the bandage on your calf.
“Her need to win is ruining her. And it’s like she’s taking us down with her. I know she doesn’t mean it like that, doesn’t want to hurt us. But she thinks this kind of hurt is good, if it’s the kind of hurt that pushes you to win.”
You cringed at the sight of the wound, still red and ugly.
“She might not have meant to hurt your leg, but—don’t loiter on the ice? Really?”
“She only meant it as a reminder.”
“Exactly! You don’t need that reminder because I think you’ve learned better than anyone else to not stay on the rink when someone is practising. A couple weeks ago she made some stupid comment because I left the gym early. Nothing inherently rude, she’s never actually rude. But it was pointed anyway. I’ve been up since six in the morning I think I deserve slacking off a little, it was nearly midnight for fuck’s sake!”
Cleaning the wound was taking everything you had, the need to hiss at the contact of the wet cloth was near abominable.
“Her…her perception’s a little warped. But her heart’s in the right place!”
Lorelai had rolled her eyes, screwing the cap of her ointment tube back on with unnecessary force. “I never said it wasn’t, just—stop defending her! I’m sorry but half the reason she continues to act like this is because you listen to her.”
At that moment, you felt a little offended. Of course, Marina had her moments where she’d say something a little less than healthy, especially coming from a friend. But you’d always thought you handled it better than most.
You met Marina when you were still only splotchy faced preteens, during a competition where she came second and you came third. She’d been skating for longer, so it was expected, but you also couldn’t conceal your surprise when you’d found the state of her later on. You were ecstatic simply because you managed to make it to the podium, but it seemed Marina’s tears held another thought process for her.
You found her crying in the locker rooms later on, her coach who looked like she…should’ve been comforting her, but it was more like a stern talking to, to suck it up and work harder next time round.
When you tried to help her, out came words you felt oh so strange coming from a stranger. “What do you know? You came third!”
It hurt. Possibly the first genuine stab of the feeling you’d ever felt. In the following weeks, when Marina apologised and you’d begun to build a friendship, you felt something peculiar. Practice sessions on the ice became harder, your two hour sessions were suddenly extending to four, sometimes five hours a day. All of it, your own doing.
It was subconscious when it was happening, the silent tug of You came third! What you first considered an achievement became an intermediate step.
If there was anywhere that you’d pinpoint the shift, from when figure skating went from fun to a responsibility, you’d pick that exact moment. When someone congratulated you later on, it wasn’t a big smile and a thank you.
“I only came third.”
Your calf healed and all that was left was a scar, but there in the discolouration of your skin, also lay a realisation.
SEUNGCHEOL HOSTS ABSOLUTELY ZERO thoughts in his mind as he shoves the collar of his hoodie over his head. Slamming the door shut on the rest of his red SVT paraphernalia, he makes quick work of his hair, shoes on and out the door within the minute. Jeonghan is still fast asleep when he leaves, mouth open and drooling onto his pillow when Seungcheol walks into his room to let him know he’s leaving.
Jeonghan might tag along to practice for the fun of it despite leaving his competitive hockey career behind him, but his distaste for 6 AM practice remains forever unchanged. He’d see him later though, on the rink lingering once the sun is higher in the sky and Jeonghan deems it less of a sin to be awake.
Seungcheol leaves without a response from his friend.
By the time he gets to the rink, most of the team has already geared up. The locker room is splotched with red, moving towards the back of the room to get to his own locker. They weren’t assigned, but he liked to have his claim. He had one in the old rink, the one locker everyone knew was his. And now he has one here, despite the temporary nature of the ordeal. The rest of the boys know to steer clear, as does he for the others who have their lucky spots.
Mingyu bumps into his shoulder when Seungcheol is looking down, immediately whipping around to bow a full ninety degrees. He’s laughing as he apologises, not really sorry, but Seungcheol is too exhausted to humour him too much.
He’d been up playing games all night, under the covers in the dark, his phone brightness up too high and his eyes too wide open. He could feel the regret when his alarm blared while it was still dark outside, his eyelids stuck together, refusing to open. It cost him fifteen minutes of warming up, but he’d make it somehow.
Seungcheol can hear coach Mason’s booming voice from outside, moving closer and closer to hustle the rest of the boys out onto the rink. He shoves his foot into his skates, making sure all that’s left is to lace them up.
“Look alive, boys! I want you on the ice within the minute,” he booms into the locker room.
Seungcheol doesn’t look up. When he gets up to leave the locker rooms, his hockey stick and helmet in hand, he’s the last straggling few to leave. Chan earns himself a hard thump on the back from Coach as he scurries out.
There’s a hand on Seungcheol’s chest as he’s about to exit, Coach stopping him from leaving.
He looks up, expecting a hard look from Mason, ready to hear a mildly violent threat about being late to call time again. Except Seungcheol finds him with his own gaze on the floor.
“Rink manager said I could use his office. We should talk there.”
Seungcheol could’ve said he knows what this was going to be about. The game last weekend had less than ideal results, not because they didn’t win, but more so because of the WWE level brawl that went down in the benches during one of the intermissions.
He tenses, but it was more like he was squaring up. His shoulders are hard, his grip on his hockey stick tighter. Of course, he wasn’t about to swing at his coach, but one could say it was simply a subconscious response.
The entire walk to the office, Seungcheol thinks of new ways Coach could address his issue. But the gist was always simple.
Choi, stop fucking fighting.
He’d usually just rip Seungcheol a new one in front of the boys, berate him and verbally throttle him in the hopes that he’d keep his anger under check. But as they turn towards the door to the office, Seungcheol has to remind himself that this was a first. Being led aside, like he was being led into some formal meeting.
A plea deal, perhaps?
Choi, what is it going to take?
The office is barren, hardly looks like it’s used with how sparse the equipment is. The amount of dark brown gives it enough warmth to not make it look like some sick form of solitary confinement. That doesn't stop Seungcheol from feeling a hint of pity for whoever has to work here. There’s no nameplate.
Coach doesn’t take a seat, opting to lean against the table in front of him instead. His arms are folded, and he’s not looking him in the eye. A crawl of suspicion creeps up Seungcheol’s neck, as though in an attempt to ambush him.
It’s silent in the room as he waits for Coach to speak, refusing to be the one to break it.
When he does speak, it’s not in his usual Coach voice. Without the built in bass and tremors he was born with.
“There’s no easy way to break this,” he starts, eyes drifting up to somewhere on the barren walls. “But I’m gonna try my darndest.”
Finally, he feels Coach’s gaze lock with Seungcheol’s expecting pair.
“They wanna drop you.”
“What?”
Coach squeezes his eyes shut, like he’s recalibrating. “Your contract is up by the end of the season. And the tie wearers and the shoe shiners don't wanna re-sign you.”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean don’t wanna re-sign me, on what grounds?!”
“You’re temperament—”
“I’ve scored at least two goals for every game you’ve put me in, I’m your most consistent player!”
“They have no qualms with you when you’re on the ice.”
Seungcheol knows where this is going. He knows what knocked up alley this is turning to and he hates it. “Which is all that should matter.”
“In most cases.”
“Is this about last weekend? You didn’t hear him, he deserved more than a broken fucking nose—”
“I didn’t need to hear him, because I know. I know he’s a jackass, I know they’re all jackasses! They know that too. You need to learn to let things go, let them chirp—”
“He was coming on to my mother!” Seungcheol bellows, now properly angry. He remembers the guy’s name, Jason or something.
“His coach came onto my entire bloodline when we were young, this is Kim’s strategy! You’re playing right into their hands like a dog! For fuck’s sake, Choi! Punching someone in the chiclets isn’t always the answer!” Coach Mason is shaking his hands in front of him like some violent prayer.
Seungcheol drops his hockey stick and helmet, mouth open as he huffs and puffs. He wants to pace, wants to point his fingers at Coach and make a few threats of his own.
“Just—”
Seungcheol rounds up on him. “Seungkwan punched a guy in the mouth. Wonwoo kicked one in the balls.”
“Seungcheol. This is becoming nearly. Every. Single. Game. Not the occasional tousle we can pull people out of. You can’t keep sending people to the hospital, it’s a wonder nobody's pressed charges yet!”
“So that’s it? I’m being punished because some dick runs his mouth?”
“This is about you, Seungcheol. You need to get a fucking grip. You’ve started picking at your own teammates, shoving Mingyu around—seriously?”
Seungcheol’s mouth opens but nothing leaves it. He ends up gaping like a fish.
For all that it was worth, for everything he’d been through, Seungcheol always assumed his seat was safe. Always assumed he’d have the position he does. Because he showed results, won them nearly every game and put up a damn good fight in the ones they didn’t.
Seungcheol knew he was an asset, but not for one minute, stop to realise that this was all
conditional.
For everything he did for this team, for every fiber of his being he poured into its chalice, they were spitting it all right back into his face. Chewed and warped and rid of anything worth salvaging.
The red in his chest, back, stomach, spelling out the unmistakable letters of his team. The red in his helmet that rests beside the red in his hockey stick.
“Listen, as much of a pain in the ass you are, you’re good fucking player. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters. But it’s not up to me, so we need to work around that. They’re worried about the repercussions of your behaviour. And you are gonna make sure you keep yourself in check.”
Coach walks closer, finger digging into Seungcheol’s chest through his jersey. “I want no more fights, no more kicking and punching and swearing no matter how much that motherfucker deserves it, I don’t care. Do whatever it takes. God knows I’ll never forgive you if you make me agree to those prissy hands in suits.”
Coach left Seungcheol in the barren office, stepping over his stick and helmet as he exited the room, leaving him alone. His fingers flex under his gloves, like he’s trying to remind himself to stay in the moment. His exhales are stronger than his inhales, his vision blurring as the desk turns into two, and then disappears for a second.
He can hear the distinct sound of the puck slamming into hockey sticks. Practice had started. By the time Seungcheol walks out, he’s the last person to go through the mandatory drills.
The rink is mostly empty as the team gears up for a practice match, leaving Seungcheol enough reign to slam into every puck like he had some personal vendetta against every last one. It’s one after the other, sent directly into the open net, waiting.
Practice goes fine, as good as it could go with the scrambled eggs that had become of Seungcheol’s mental state. He found himself whipping his head around to Jun when he fumbled an assist, face scrunched under his helmet as he prepared to send him to hell in a handbasket.
He sees Jun physically tense up in defense, and the insult (for once) dies on Seungcheol’s tongue.
“Just—keep up, alright,” he says instead. His tone is empty, and on a downward slope.
If anyone finds it odd, they don’t say.
It’s a couple more hours of passes, assists and hollers across the ice, regrouping the teams every so often to keep the rotation consistent.
Over here, everyone is in red, everyone is on his side. The bleachers are empty, devoid of spectators to watch him lose his cool on anything. But he thinks of the way Jun recoiled, like he was preparing for the worst of his teammate’s words. He and Jun are friends.
Somewhere amidst his thoughts, the puck flies directly into Seungcheol’s face, banging into the cage of his helmet with a noise that resonates across the rink. He’s startled enough to skate back a little, not before hearing another resounding thwack! from next to him. The puck rebounded from his helmet and hit the plastic barrier with a noise that had everyone looking over.
Skating up to where the puck fell back onto the ice, he looks up to where it hit the barrier.
Through the plastic he sees…you. You're staring at the same spot he is, where there’s a slight mark from the force of the rubber.
And then your eyes drift up, locking with his own.
Like every other person he’s around, he watches you tense up. But it’s laced with something more than just bracing for impact.
It’s apprehension, your form turbulent and agitated. It’s all he can see when you spin on your heels and walk away in the opposite direction from him.
The all too familiar irritation sparks in the back of Seungcheol’s mind, as it does when you’re around. All he does is slam his stick into the ice with force, pushing the puck back into the middle of the rink.
They’re nearly done by that point, and he finds that Jeonghan has graced himself in the benches. He’s wearing his old jersey, likely because he doesn’t want Coach to notice him and accuse him of distracting his players.
Jeonghan would’ve gotten away with it anyway.
Seungcheol tells him to wait up, walking towards the locker room with the rest of the rest of the team to wash up. He finds some reprieve in Seungkwan’s attempts at fumbling with his helmet, letting out a laugh as he fights with it. Looking up as they take the turn towards the locker rooms as a group, he somehow finds himself in your presence, again.
It’s the same thing, like you’ve been connected to a faulty circuit and you’re trying not to show it. You look like you want to say something but all Seungcheol can do is send a snarky remark of his own.
Even as you walk away after the ordeal, he feels anything but settled.
It’s like the world has it out for him, because as he opts to stalk back to where Jeonghan was, forgoing a shower, there’s only another calamity waiting for him.
Jeonghan is in the rink, sitting on the ice with two cups of what looks like dippin dots. He looks up when he hears his treads on the ice, having taken his skates off already. Seungcheol crumples to the ground and on the ice next to his friend.
The first words he utters are the only ones that’ve been on his mind all day. “They want to drop me.”
Jeonghan only grimaces in response, only running his hands through his hair as he sighs loudly. “I know. I heard.”
Seungcheol perks up, head lifting from the ice. “...How?”
That’s how Seungcheol has Jeonghan’s phone so close to his face he’s hardly an inch away from the screen. He reads and reads and reads. And his blood boils and boils and boils.
!HOT TOPIC!
SEAT AT RISK FOR SVT HOCKEY TEAM’S SHINING STAR? Read All About It Here!
Choi Seungcheol’s seat for next season at risk? Insider reports that the hot headed centre may be at risk of contract termination due to recent controversy. The hockey player, renowned for his aggressive playing tendencies, seems to be taking his temperament outside of the rink. Multiple games played by SVT have been subject to eventful halves and quarters, the center seen getting violent in the benches with opposing team members, and sometimes even team members of his own! While his short temper has always been a recurring subject in the news, his skills as a player have always remained top notch—we do wonder if he even has to try! The tables seem to turn a little differently this time around though, because it looks that SVT higher ups have been fed up with the increasing reports of Choi’s aggressive behaviour. Insider sources report that talks of a contract termination may be coming into order. While he has proven to be an effective player on the ice, it seems as though it won’t be saving him from this particular ramification!
Stay tuned, hockey fanatics, as we bring you more updates on Choi’s sticky situation!
Of course, to add to the absolute media pandemonium, you had shown up on the rink itself after Seungcheol had to read through the entirety of that stupid article. Jeonghan was smart to pull him away from the situation before he wrapped both his hands around your neck in an ultimatum.
The way you stood there, hip popped like you owned the damn place, face haughty and demanding. You stood while they sat, looking down at Seungcheol like he was some pesky ant. There was nothing he would’ve rather done in that moment than swing his leg clean across your ankles, and watch in delight as you crash onto the ice in front of him.
“What the fuck is her problem?” he grits as soon as he’s in the locker rooms. Collecting his things to leave and take a shower at home.
Jeonghan walks behind him, hands in his pocket in idleness as he watches his friend pack up. He’s humming a tune that’s possibly too familiar to Seungcheol. “Hm. She does seem a little wound too tight.”
“Wound too tight?! I’ve seen her thrice just today and every single time she looks like she wants to skin my fucking hide!”
Jeonghan only snorts. “Thing two isn’t any better. She’s cute though.”
Seungcheol whips around. “Who gets that territorial over a sound booth?!”
“Down, boy,” Jeonghan soothes, half in jest. “Surprised she isn’t here today either.”
“Yeah, you’d like to see her.”
“I would, actually, yes. What was her name?”
“Something to do with a train or a bus or something—”
“Lorry! Right,” Jeonghan furrows his brows. “I don’t think that’s her real name.”
Seungcheol throws his duffle bag over his shoulder as he motions he’s done. “I don’t think anyone who actually loves their child would name them after a bus.”
Jeonghan halts in his steps. “My dead dog’s name was Lorry.”
Seungcheol is extra nice for the rest of the way home.
SEUNGCHEOL CAN'T SLEEP.
His dreams are full of voices, of every single teammate he’s ever had. The junior league, his high school team, up to his college team, and finally, his team right now.
They’re all murmuring like they were paid to do it, uttering the same things, over and over. He doesn’t belong here, they don’t want him here, he doesn’t deserve what he has.
And with the way his heart is racing when he jolts awake, cold sweat and all, he realises he’s kicked his blanket off of him sometime during the night. He looks over to his alarm clock that glares bright in the dark of his room; 5:08 AM.
He doesn’t need to be up, but it seems his own subconscious has given him a good enough scare to make sure every last essence of sleep escapes him. He lays on his back, catching his breath like he just ran a marathon.
Seungcheol hasn’t woken up from a nightmare like this since middle school, one that knocks the breath from his lungs and fills his head with all the horrible things in the world. With every moment that passes after that conversation with Coach Mason, his ordeal becomes increasingly real.
In that moment, laying in his bedroom, staring blankly at the dark ceiling above, he wonders if he’s made the right choice to come this far.
With all the confidence he’s exuded, the thought is downright terrifying.
Seungcheol was a difficult child. Too much energy, too much to say, too much to do. His parents didn’t know the first thing about hockey, just that it involved enough hitting and running and practice to let their son let out all that pent up energy, so maybe, just maybe, he’d sit still and do his homework. While they attempted to sign him up at the local rink, he was already zooming out towards the benches to see the fabled giant block of ice his parents told him about.
And there it was, just like in the movies, a giant expanse of ice that made him shiver even in his thick Winnie The Pooh puffer vest. There’s sounds, loud ones, of deep clacks that echo across the rink. It seems to be coming from the dozens of people skating on the rink, decked out in red gear.
SVT, he reads on their jerseys.
His mother chides him for straying when they finally find him near the gate, watching the team practice. The rink manager is there as well, showing his parents around.
“The SVT’s practice here and have a junior league too, but I’m afraid it’s full. But our coach is great too, I’m sure he’ll do well.”
Seungcheol’s parents didn’t mind, but he wanted those jerseys, wanted his name in red splashed across his back as he glided across the ice.
It didn’t take long for his coach and his parents to realise that putting him in a helmet was a good idea. He was smoking the rest of the kids from day one, his balance on the ice better than any other his age, his hold on a hockey stick like second nature, his aim as he hit his first puck, dazzling.
As he got older, entering his preteen and teen years, he had another realisation. That he was as horrible at school as he was good at hockey.
“Perhaps you should take a break from hockey,” his high school guidance counsellor had said. His grades were displayed in front of her like a case study, the hopeless clear in her intermittent sighs and the occasional purse of her lips. “Utilise that time to fix at least one of your grades. Pour all your eggs in one basket.”
The thought was absurd. No, he would not be dropping hockey when it was the only thing that pushed him to wake up in the morning.
He’d felt the tremble of irritation rise in himself, sitting there in that office. It angered him, made him feel like his success was measured by a criteria not made for him. He had said nothing as he slipped out of chair and left the room.
The day before his graduation, sweat dripping onto the ice as he sent free pucks into the net, he was missing more than he was getting in. It was making him more mad than it should, hands shaking with fury as he berated himself for not being able to succeed in something so simple.
His last puck was before him, and he swung his stick harder than ever and watched as it flew directly into the net. The sound is louder than usual, resonating across the rink. Seungcheol looked down at the detached pieces in his hand and quickly realised that he’d effectively broken his hockey stick.
It wasn’t expensive, so the quality wasn’t nearly what it should be, wasn’t nearly as durable. But this was new to him. He’d never broken a stick before.
Anger. Perhaps that was what he'd forgone, perhaps that was what he needed. To get on his knees from his back, to get on his feet from his knees.
When he graduated the next day, Seungcheol knew what he was going to do with his life. Finally had an answer for the infinite questions about his future.
Hockey. Seungcheol was going to play hockey for the rest of his life. He was going to get into SVT, he was going to become the best player they’ve ever had. He was going to make more money than what he would have as a doctor or a lawyer or whatever else the entire world wanted him to do instead.
Seungcheol was going to be on the ice wearing red if it’s the last thing he does.
That’s what pushes him out of bed at 8:45 in the morning, his dream that was once in his hands now flitting through the gaps of his fingers.
The anger that pushed him here, was now pushing him out.
He packs his things and leaves the house, welcoming the cold of the outdoors.
There’s the distinct sound of blade cutting through ice when he gets nearer to the rink itself, a shout of a shrill voice he can’t decipher. Official practice doesn’t start for another couple hours, and he doesn’t remember Coach Mason cutting the pitch in his voice for anything ever. There’s only one other person that could possibly be gracing the rink.
Seungcheol finds three people on the rink. The bright red curly mop of hair catches his eye first, her arms folded over her green puffer jacket, apprehension in her entire posture. He assumes this is your coach.
There’s a blonde one breathing heavily as she straightens out of a spin, listening to the coach as she shakes her head violently as she speaks.
Seungcheol finds you a little ways away from the pair, practising jumps.
He doesn’t emerge into the benches, remaining in the shadows where he wouldn’t be so blaringly obvious. There’s no reason for him to hide, but he doesn’t think of this as hiding.
Seungcheol watches for the next few minutes, watches you make most of your jumps, fall for some. Your coach shouts for particular names for jumps, something about axels and lutz’ that he can’t tell the difference from when put into action. At least he thinks that’s what you’re doing.
And then he hears it as your coach moves closer to the barriers. “What’s gotten into you? Keep acting this stupid and I’ll excuse myself from the job, I have better people to coach.”
Her tone, her words, the sharp edge of her tongue, it’s all triggering a very specific part of Seunghceol’s brain.
“Is it your ankle? Because if it is, then I’m here to tell you to get out of your own head. Your ankle is fine, you wouldn’t be able to get on the ice at all if it wasn’t.”
There it comes. Those words aren’t directed towards Seungcheol, nor could they apply to him in any capacity. But the way this coach is speaking is making him irrationally angry.
“Are you gonna keep pretending you have a handicap? Because if you are then I have no work here.”
“I’m sorry.”
For whatever reason, the sound of you apologising makes the fire rage doubly. It’s enough to blur his vision, enough to make him question what on earth this coach could have on you to let her speak to you in that way.
The choice words are already in his head as he claps back in his own head, like he was the one at the receiving end.
He doesn’t stay, disappearing even further into the tunnel to where the locker rooms are. He doesn’t understand why he’s huffing and puffing as much as he is. All that occupies him is what possible reasons you could have to just take it lying down.
Seungcheol’s phone vibrates in his pocket, slipping it out to realise it’s Jeonghan.
He picks up, and barely has time to say hello before his voice perks up from the other line. “Where are you?” He sounds like he just woke up.
“I’m at the rink.”
“Why is your angry voice on?”
“My angry voice is not—” he begins to grit, seething, but closes his eyes and takes a moment. “I’m not mad.”
“Do I need to sing?”
“No, you do not have to sing—”
“Everything is honey—”
“Jeonghan, stop!”
“—everywhere I see—”
Seungcheol hangs up before he can go on. To his utmost irritation, he feels significantly calmer.
The rink is devoid of your red headed coach when Seungcheol makes his way there after a few minutes. The blonde one is nowhere to be seen, leaving you alone in the rink as you skated across the expanse. He only watches as you land the couple attempts at jumps, the ice breaking ground in a spray every time you put pressure on your blades.
Seungcheol is just standing there, blank faced with an empty head. His mind was quiet for the first time since he’d woken up that morning.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing there, standing idle as he follows your figure around the rink like a fixation point.
The sound is more consistent, less of the loud jabs of hockey sticks meeting the ice, more constant lines of scraping as you migrate across the rink. The speakers boom no sound, but the musicality in the noise of the ice is enough to imagine a rhythm.
No part of him desires getting on the ice to oust you out, no part of him wants to touch his hockey stick that sits in the locker room. He doesn’t need extra practice, not with hockey at least.
And when you notice him, unmoving in the benches, he watches as something hard overcomes your expression. You skate over, and he keeps his gaze fixated on the ice.
Skating up to the gate, he sees in his peripheral vision as you slip on your skate guards, stepping out into the real world.
“You don’t have the rink booked, I checked,” you huff, moving to find your things on the other set of benches.
Seungcheol’s jaw tenses. “I don’t want the rink right now.”
“And yet the ghost loiters.”
“I’m here to tell you to start filling in the stupid craters your skates make in the ice. The guys keep tripping.”
“You big hockey thugs getting defeated by a toe pick?”
Seungcheol turns to finally look at you, and you look nothing as graceful as you did on the ice. He wants to scoff.
You continue, “I have to deal with your stupid barriers fucking up my sound system. I think your guys can deal with a couple digs in the ice.”
“Great, we’ll just lose a couple teeth, who really gives a fuck.”
“If this is about giving fucks,” you get up from your water break, leaving the bench. “Do me a favour and forget your mouth guard next time. Let the puck punch you in the mouth if I can't."
Seungcheol’s entire being is ablaze. He reshuffles his footing. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“My problem?” you repeat, voice moving a pitch higher. “My fucking problem is that you and your overgrown posse of baboons drop in here out of the blue and then act like you own the damn place!”
“Right, because it’s your name on the fucking lease. Excuse us for trespassing on public property!”
You’re yelling. Seungcheol is yelling. It’s either that or the hollow of the rink is now carrying your voices farther out.
“I’ve had enough of you acting like you don’t take up this entire fucking space!” Your arms wave wildly, gesturing to the large area of the rink. “You’re everywhere, all the fucking time, it’s sickening!”
“Everywhere, huh?” He takes a step closer to you. And then another. He revels in the sight of your face turning a splotchy red. “Thought I was only a bother on the ice? Where else have I been plaguing you in mystic hallucinations?”
Seungcheol’s eyes give away nothing but provocation. He knows he didn’t start this, but in the true essence of who he is, he would be the one to end it.
It’s clear you’re taken aback. At this moment, he’s the closest he’s ever been to you. But it’s for nothing if it isn’t to press on you further, to tower over you and your outburst.
“Get your head out of the gutter, you brute.”
“Then is it not me taking up all your space?” he asks. “Because there’s three feet of air between us, and yet the least in our very short time together.”
He watches as you take a small step back.
“So where else have I been any closer, so consistently, if it wasn’t part of your imagination?”
There’s a certain kind of venom in your stare, in the sneer that lifts your mouth, enough to ensure that it’d render him six feet deep. But he lives in reality, so he deems it safe to take another step closer.
“You’re a screw up,” you almost whisper. Appalled and scandalised.
“So I’ve been told,” Seungcheol breathed. “But something tells me we’re not so different in that department.”
“You don’t know a thing about me.”
“I know that I’m all you can think about,” he says, eyebrows raised. “That feels like a lot. You’d agree, because everywhere, all the fucking time is a lot.”
Seungcheol has hardly finished his sentence before he feels the light breeze of you gathering your few things, shouldering him hard and walking away from him. Into the tunnel, into the locker rooms, into hell, wherever it was that you ended up by the close of the day.
He isn’t afraid to admit that he stumbled.
LORELAI HAD MADE IT quite clear that any figure skating talk was off the table, and talk surrounding Marina even more so. You tried not to point out the obvious predicament, but the fact that you lived with Marina did not affect her demand.
Miraculously, not talking about skating or Marina was the most free you’d felt in ages. It was mildly embarrassing in the beginning, when on a run with Lorealai who was also helping out at the dog shelter, because you realised all you talked about was, maybe not Marina, but definitely a lot of skating.
You slow down a little to give Kkuma a couple minutes to breathe, but Lorealai is still running at her pace with her significantly more energetic husky, Bennie.
“Stay there, I’ll catch up!” she yells over her shoulder as she takes the left around the block to circle back.
You oblige, moving to a walking pace as Lorelai appears from behind you after a couple minutes. She slows to a jog and loiters around you for a minute, you increase your speed to match hers.
“Jeonghan…” she pauses to take a breath. But your interest is piqued, especially if she was talking about the same Jeonghan you were thinking about. “Jeonghan invited me to the game this weekend.”
Hold.
“What?” you snap.
“Game. This weekend,” she huffs, still breathing heavily.
“Like, a hockey game?” you ask, brows furrowed.
“No, for disney on ice,” she announces. “They’re doing beauty and the beast, Jeonghan’s the beauty, Seungcheol is the beast. It’s a whole production, really. Real good stuff.”
You can only roll your eyes at the elaborate sarcasm. She continues, “Of course, it's a hockey game! What else do they do at that rink all day?”
“Gosh, sorry,” you frown. “Since when do you talk to Jeonghan?”
She looks over, wicked smile on her face. “Since I found him on Instagram.”
“You followed him?”
“No, why would I do that? Bumped into him at the gym a while ago, and we went out for coffee afterwards.”
Nothing of the ordeal is making sense, your brows still knit together and your mouth downturned in confusion.
“Catch you in a minute!” she yelps as she takes off into a run again, Bennie right next to her as she circles round again.
The few minutes that it’s just you and tiny Kkuma are flooded with questions. How did she just bump into Jeonghan? Lorelai hardly goes to the gym. Asking her to come to the hockey game?
And then worst of all.
Are they dating?
By the time Lorelai is back, she’s out of breath again, and fully unequipped to answer all of the questions you shoot at her like rapid fire.
“Why were you at the gym? He’s a junior league coach, he’s not even gonna be playing!”
“God!” she groans, heaving. “Slow…down.”
“Fine!” You stop in your tracks entirely, to which Lorelai is happy to oblige as she crouches with her hand on her knees. Bennie tugs at her leash, the big bounding ball of fluff ready to race the winds again.
You count to ten, hands on your hips as Kkuma lets out a small, confused yip now that you’re completely idle on the track.
“Talk.”
With an all too dramatic flip of her short hair, she pulls herself up and into an explanation. “I couldn’t tell you because we weren’t talking when it all happened.”
It’s true, it did take a while for you to go back to normal after that run in with Marina in your bedroom. You suppose it won’t be happening again with the new no-Marina-talk rule, since she seemed to be quite the common factor in many of your rifts over the years.
“I went to the gym to blow off some steam—don’t look like that, I’m being serious!”
You make an attempt at fixing your face as she continues.
“He saw me first and came up to say hi. Went our separate ways but once we finished up he asked if I wanted to grab a coffee since we were both done working out.”
“And you said yes?”
“I said yes. Because he is cute, and I had been stalking his very public Instagram and it was just the perfect opportunity!”
“So you’re dating?” you ask sharply.
“I don’t know.”
“He asked you to the game?” you point out.
“Well, yes, but he hasn’t asked me asked me.” Somewhere in her voice there’s the tiniest hint of disappointment. “Besides, he said to bring you as well.”
“Fuck no.”
“Come ooon! Jeonghan’s gonna be in the benches and I don’t know anyone else there!” she whines.
“Hey, we should switch dogs!” you announce as you yank Bennie’s leash out of Lorelai’s hands, stuffing Kkuma’s leash into her free hand.
You take off into a sprint, and Bennie is happy to keep up with you as you quite literally run away from the situation. Lorelai is yelling your name, her annoyance abundant.
Ignoring her is easy. Just the thought of walking into one of those games is enough to force a scoff, to watch your rink inhabited with like minded buffoonery as they ruin the bleachers and the ice.
By the time you make it back, the hilarity of the situation hasn’t left you. And it seems neither has Lorelai, who remains standing with Kkuma at her feet, waiting to trap you.
It’s the easiest thing to do, to turn right back around and circle the other way.
“You can’t run away from me forever!” she shouts behind you as you disappear again.
Maybe you couldn’t, but you wouldn’t go down without a fight.
“You can’t run away from Seungcheol forever! Quit pretending like you aren’t dying to fall into those giant arms!” Lorelai has a very specific talent of injecting all the drama in the world in the tone of her voice. She’s sure to utilize that skill as she hollers after you.
That seems to do it for you, slowing down, half ready to whip around and holler a profanity or two right back.
You’re more triggered than usual, but mostly because all the jab does is remind you of the last time you saw him. The arrogance in his demeanor, the way he belittled you with just his eyes, the shadow of his towering frame, caging you like a lost animal.
You hated it. Despised it. Despised him. His disgusting innuendos, the all so misleading innocence on his face as he cornered you with both his body and his words.
Lorelai could deal you whatever card there was tied up her sleeve, but getting you anywhere near the rink for the game this weekend was going to require more than just dessert bribes and sweet talking. Dragging you by the ankles could be a possibility, but all for naught when you dig your nails in anyway.
It was impossible. Not doable. Non-existent in the cards of your destiny. A repelling force.
So why, would one ask, were you decked out in the most heinous red scarf with the letters SVT stitched on like a warning, sitting in the bleachers and looking down at the same rink you practice your spins and jumps in everyday?
Neither you or Lorelai could answer that question, both your stories as blurry as fog as to how either of you managed to get you in that fabled seat.
You could see the exact place you and Seungcheol had your last showdown, the opposing team in black now occupying that side of the benches. The thought puts you in an impossibly sour mood. It’s not like Lorelai could say anything about it, half because she knows you’re one snide remark away from jumping into the merch table, and half because she was too busy making heart eyes at Jeonghan who’s just spotted her in her seat.
“I’ll be back,” she informs haphazardly as she positively bounds down the steps to the end of the bleachers, where Jeonghan waits for her. The people in their seats shuffle, annoyed at the overenthusiastic fan who practically slides down in front of their legs towards the railing. But Lorelai couldn’t care less, not with what stood beyond that very railing.
Tearing your eyes away from the lovebirds, you take in the hustle and bustle of the pregame happenings, most of the bleachers in disarray as they humour the merch stands and the food stalls. The rink smells different because of it, both the added number of food trucks and drink stands, but also with the amount of people that occupy the expanse.
The only times you see the rink this packed is when you’re too wracked with nerves to notice anything other than your own two feet. Hands wringing and head spinning, the chaos of the world is nothing against the pandemonium in your mind. You’re usually wearing a sparkly dress that glitters even from the very last row of bleachers, hair taut and makeup caked on like a layer of icing.
Taking your time, you let your eyes flit over all that you forgo the other times. The stands are a mix of red and black, and so are the benches and ice that are occupied by men in full hockey gear.
You’re too high up to make out the names on the back of all those jerseys, let alone a face underneath the already concealing helmets. The problem is forgotten when you feel the weight of two hands slam against your folded arms, tugging you out of your seat like it was stolen property.
“Jeonghan said we could sit closer to the benches downstairs!” Lorelai is frantic, like this wasn’t a matter of reserved seats but the last plane to leave hell itself.
“Lor—” Finishing a sentence when she’s in this state is a luxury you learn quickly to live without, because all that concerns her right now is getting closer to the man that seems to have enraptured her like never before.
It’s disgusting. But you follow her anyway, down the steps that you nearly eat shit on, gracefully of course, because what figure skater doesn’t fall with an epic crash worthy of an Expendables cameo. You stabilise yourself enough to get to the seats Lorelai is talking about, and sure enough, Jeonghan would barely have to get on his tiptoes to hoist himself into the bleachers altogether. You question the safety of the context but decide that it wasn’t your problem if someone decided to pounce on one of the players.
Besides, you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t revel in the absolute scene of Seungcheol getting jumped by an over-passionate fan. You’re suddenly very grateful for the front row seats.
There’s a bucket of chicken tenders and fries in your lap out of nowhere, matching the one in Lorelai’s hands. “Also Jeonghan?” you hum as you inspect the sauce options.
“Mhm, he’s friends with the vendor outside,” she grins.
You narrow your eyes at the revelation, finding it utmost strange how close he seems to be with nearly everyone. “Why is he on the benches, again?” you ask.
“Because—” she draws before you cut her off.
“Friends with the coach?”
“How’d you know?!” she exclaims. Her attention is diverted as the speakers suddenly boom with something other than generic pop music. So is yours, when you hear a deep baritone of a commentator’s voice carries throughout the rink.
The shuffle around you is suddenly doubling in speed, everyone getting into their seats. You look over in front of you, where the benches are in an equally panicked shuffle. You spot Jeonghan easily, mostly because he’s one of the few in the vicinity without a helmet or what looks like a giant space suit. The next thing you note is the person he’s talking to, his back turned to you, but familiar all the same.
CHOI, 95, reads his jersey. Automatically, your jaw clenches. “Don’t look over there!” Lorelai chides, grabbing your jaw and moving it to force you to rip your eyes away from him.
“Lorelai, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but unlike your boy toy, he’s actually gonna be on the ice,” you verbalise through clenched teeth.
“Don’t look at the ice,” she blurts.
Rolling your eyes, you only listen as she realises what she’s said. “Okay, um, look at Jeon instead! Or Kim, or Boo, just. For god’s sake, there’s fifty other players on the ice, just don’t let one of them ruin your night!”
“I’m fine,” you grumble, sinking into your seat.
It isn’t long before your eyes trail over anyway, and Seungcheol still doesn’t have his helmet on. You can see his face now, and he looks like he’s mad at Jeonghan about something.
Inevitably, your mind wanders to the fated article that somehow made its way into your recommended, the certainty it put in you that Seungcheol didn’t stand a chance in his team anymore. It seemed true enough, his anger, that he continues to display, seemed to be his default emotional setting.
Your hockey knowledge was subpar at best, but one thing you did know was the aggression factor of the sport. Of all the things that could cut his career clean down the middle, this was the last of your guesses.
Even now, as you watch him absentmindedly point and jerk like his supposed friend had managed to bring him something that was personally offensive, it’s all connecting too well.
But when you snap into reality, you realise very quickly that he was pointing…at you.
Seungcheol is mad that Jeonghan (effectively) brought you to the match.
A chortle of disbelief is quick to make itself known, wanting to yell across the throng that you were every bit as upset that he was in your vicinity too. It also brings you satisfaction, a pure grain of hope, that maybe this would be enough for him to completely fuck up on the ice today.
You say a quick amen before the baritone of the commentator makes itself known again. The echo is too much for you to decipher what’s going on, but you have your answer when you watch the reds and the blacks form what looks like a line across the width of the rink, right in the center.
You don’t register when the puck landed, or if it was always there, just that the loud clacks and bangs are in tandem with the cheer from the crowds. The puck is an impossible commodity to keep up with, even with just your eyes. It appears for a moment before it’s lost again, shooting around in your peripheral vision like a pesky fly you can never get a hold of.
“What is happening?” you whisper to yourself.
Lorelai answers anyway, snorting, “Fuck if I know.”
The numbers on the lit screens are doing nothing to help out your predicament, too much happening for you to even begin to deconstruct. You choose to lay back and enjoy your chicken tenders and fries, complimenting the sauce choices to Lorelai along the way, who continues to calibrate her attention on the man that remains in the benches. Jeonghan looks over periodically to send her a wave and a blinding smile.
You’ve made a good enough dent in your chicken and fries bucket by the time it’s intermission, about ready for a drink by now. Lorelai makes herself useful and runs down to get you both something, mostly because Jeonghan was now more focused on the team that’s huddled around one another, another man you assume is their coach huddled right with them.
The scores are 2-2, as provided by the person behind you who was apparently sick of your placid obliviousness. It did feel slightly awkward to be the only person not as excited to be front and center, so you remind yourself to thank him profusely.
Your attention drifts back to the benches, inevitably as you’ve been so unfortunately placed to be able to breathe down the player’s necks. They’ve dispersed from their huddle, but are not yet on the ice. They’re sitting down, catching their breaths, drinking from water bottles. On the other side, the opposing team, a sea of black and white flooding their own end of the benches. It’s a sinking colour, not an ounce of depth in the shade. It’s taking over the benches.
Except it’s the players that are moving, like they’re diffusing into the scarlet territory.
You watch, as one player in black moves his mouth, speaking, upturned and eyebrows cocked. It’s clear he’s gone well past enemy lines, the front lines suddenly at attention. There’s not much you can make out, nothing much besides the very haughty expression on the player’s face. His eyes are covered by the sweaty mop on his head, but you don’t need to see them to find the malice that infiltrates his entire stance.
The scene, where both sides seem to be closing in on each other, has you automatically sitting up straighter. The air is going static, especially as you realise the player's mouth is moving faster as he jabs at — Seungcheol.
They’re fighting, only verbally for now, but it’s undeniable the way the heat grows by the second. All you can see is the back of Seugncheol’s jersey as he begins to step back from the ordeal, like he was fighting the urge to take a step forward instead.
Jeonghan’s hand is on Seungcheol’s elbow, and one glance at the rest of the players on this side shows every last one on edge. Their coach is nowhere to be seen.
But he doesn’t stop talking, still standing in their territory. He yells something loud enough to hear the pitch of his voice, but not nearly enough to understand what he’s saying.
You could see it on the player’s face. Hook, line and sinker.
It happens so suddenly. Seungcheol surges forward like a dart, something flies out and hits the player square in the face.
Seungcheol had spat his mouth guard into his face.
You gasp out loud as you register what’s happening. The player removes his hand from his face, and for some reason, emerges grinning.
Seungcheol swings first, his fist rising and coming down on his cheek with a sound you can hear. You feel nauseous.
It’s pandemonium. You can see Jeonghan practically on top of Seungcheol, a number of other players attempting to get him off the man he continues to grab and shake up like a fugitive. The other player is throwing his own punches.
For one, horrifying moment, the force of the punch pushes Seungcheol’s face towards the stands enough to let you get an eyeful. All you see is red, beyond just his jersey. His mouth is full of blood, the front of his jersey dripped with it, his knuckles clustered with it.
The hand clasped around your mouth is your own, eyes blown in horror.
All around you, the world has their phones out like it was some show meant just for them, like this was exactly what they came here for.
It’s sickening. Sickening.
You brave another look, and they’ve been yanked off of one another. Seungcheol is being pushed down the tunnel and away from sight. Jeonghan has his hands clutched around Seungcheol like he’s nearly ready for another outbreak, his face grim.
Your eyes keep away from Seungcheol’s face on purpose. “Goodness, what is going on, I could barely get through the crowd,” Lorelai’s irritated voice infiltrates your ears, and you’re immediately brought back down to earth.
Arms full of more snacks and drinks, it only takes her one look at your rattled self to know.
“What happened?”
“I…they were…fighting. I don’t know, it just—Seungcheol was throwing punches and there was…blood, so much blood.”
She’s gotten a grip on your hand, her fingers warm under your cold, shivering ones. “Do you wanna leave?” she asks slowly.
One look over her shoulder is enough to tell you it’d be impossible. Everyone was too excited to care to cater to two people going in the opposite direction of the action. So you tell her there was no point, and you attempt to calm your racing heart as she sits next to you.
Snagging one of the packs from her mountain of snacks, you rip it open and let the sickly sweet smell infiltrate your nostrils. Popping one of the confections in your mouth, it’s hard to not make a face. It’s the sourest thing you could’ve picked, the tartness enough to distract you from the outside world. Eyes scrunched closed, you swallow the rush of saliva to ask Lorelai what the fuck she brought.
You chortle, and it has Lorelai looking over. “Whoops! That one’s mine.”
She snags the bag from your loosened grip, replacing it with a tamer bag of original flavoured potato chips. The chips are trying, but there’s not much you can do besides wait for the residues of the godawful candy to subside.
The ordeal seems to have calmed you the slightest bit, finally able to turn back to the ice. The rink is back to being occupied, players from both ends pouring onto the ice. You note a minor shoulder shove at the gate, but look away like it’d stop the calamity from intensifying.
The game ensues as normal, but you note the blatant absence of CHOI in the sea of red and white jerseys. You don’t mention it, and neither does Lorelai.
You’re about to burst by the time the finals moments are upon the game, the overtime minutes beginning to tick as the crowd grows restless by the second. With the little you’ve managed to grasp, you’re sure that SVT is only one goal away from the overtake. It’s making you nervous, like you’re waiting for your own score to be announced after a free skate.
The puck is a mere percentage easier to navigate after a couple hours of keeping after it; it skips between players you’re beginning to recognise from the back of their jersey. Kim, Boo, Wen, Kim, Lee. The opposing team intercepts for a moment, and you find yourself letting out an irritated shake of the shoulders. Back to Kim, Lee, Lee, and then, right into the net.
The jittering crowd suddenly went so silent you could hear a pin drop.
And then the world around you erupts. It’s impossible to classify the sound as cheers when racketeers off your entire being like an unearthly sound, the stands on their feet hollering and screaming and yelling at their players that are fighting to keep their new overtake in the final seconds before the game officially ends.
And when it does, you’re sure you need to get your ears checked out.
Looking over, you catch Lorelai’s eye, and you can’t help but laugh. A delightful laugh that releases itself in the midst of the chaos of red, scarlet and cherry. Somebody’s thrown a red blanket over you, another has begun to hand out congratulatory cherry lollipops (you pass, but Lorealai would be damned if she did), people are hugging each other so tight and you get the inkling they’ve only met each other today.
The ice is one giant dogpile, red on red as they suffocate one another in celebration.
Perhaps you didn’t realise how important the game actually was, or maybe every game is like this, loud, proud and exultant. You find yourself imagining how they feel.
The lost feeling of bouquets and flowers whisked in your direction, stuffed animals and hundreds of other things that scream adoration as your performance comes to a close. It’s a physical manifestation of an adoring crowd, as though making it tangible makes it a little more real.
The rush, you can feel it resonate off of the scarlet side of the benches, and it’s enough for you to realise that yes, this was an important match. For them anyway.
The way out of the rink is reasonably packed, but you manage to squeeze through the doors and towards where Lorelai had parked with fewer than expected obstruction. “Thought you might wait to see Jeonghan before we leave,” you hum as you walk to the parking spot.
“I was going to, but he’s probably dealing with what happened,” she utters slowly. A flash of red at the mention, gone as soon as it came. Lorelai adds with a little extra pep to her voice, “It’s okay! I’ll send him a text, we were planning on dinner tomorrow anyway.”
The side eye you send is met with a light shove. “This one seems serious. Dragging me here for his sake and now dinner with him?”
Lorelai was infamous for taking it excruciatingly slow, the time between the talking stage and the first date stretching for months. She claims it’s to make sure she's not roping herself into something she’d regret, which you’ll admit has seemed to work out in her favour. Her last relationship lasted years before Josh had to move away.
Jeonghan seems to have her under some warped spell, because Lorelai was hurtling into this relationship like a too compressed cannon ball. There was nothing you knew about Jeonghan other than his friendship with Seungcheol, his position as junior league coach and his habit of loitering on the ice; which means there wasn’t much opinion to be had on the whole conquest. Regardless, you decide to caution her some other day, when she’s not glowing and over the moon like a robust teenager.
Slipping into the passenger seat, you slump like never before, already dreaming about the bedrotting session you’re about to have; glorious enough for the books.
“Do you wanna grab food and rot on the couch?” she asks.
“You’re still hungry after all that?” you huff, your mouth still flavoured with artificial sweetness paired with the savoury of the chicken and fries. You pull out your phone for the first time in nearly three hours, the home screen alarming full of missed notifications. Text messages, mentions and phone calls. For whatever reason, you swipe right past and open your browser.
“It’ll take about an hour till we’re settled, should be hungry enough by then,” she comments, a gentle growl coming from beneath you as the engine comes to life.
Somewhere between the lines of the seatbelt sign pinging, and the radio blaring itself into the space, you’ve read a headline that’s enough to halt your world.
“There’s this new Chinese place that opened nearby here. Or this Persian restaurant but it’s like 20 minutes in the other direction. Or do we just do soup—”
“Lorelai.”
She turns to look at you in the passenger seat, seatbelt alarm still dinging as you remain with your seatbelt off as she pulls out of the parking space, like the official soundtrack to your doom. She brakes, hard. Lorelai is always Lorry with you, her full name only ever when you’re feigning irritation.
There’s nothing irritating about the situation, but everything is wrong with it.
It’s like you were in the benches, taking punches while simultaneously throwing a few yourself. You’re out of breath still seated, your skin tingles like a million arachnids crawling under your skin under your layers. You’re in the eddy of a horrifying whirlpool, that’s pulling you down, down, down, down, down, down—
!HOT TOPIC!
FIGURE SKATER OR FIGURINE? NOTHING GRACEFUL ABOUT Y/N L/N’S FALL FROM THE PINNACLE OF THE SKATING WORLD. Read from the Source!
From a pocket princess, to a rising star. From a rising star to the top of the world. From the top of the world to… a bottomless hell? How did Y/N L/N end up here?
It’s nothing new that L/N’s presence was notable during the flashy ISU Grand Prix held in Beijing last year, the podium notably shuffled as a result. The skater’s ankle injury was never awarded a career ending title, but with the way her comeback remains as foggy as it did since the initial announcement, one must begin to wonder if we’ll ever see L/N on the competitive ice again.
Or perhaps she’s simply lost her spark?
Trusted sources report that L/N’s sponsors are growing weary of her extended vacation, and are just about ready to pull the rug! In addition, sources also report her floundering lack of consistency in practice sessions on the ice, her condition beyond someone as onerous as even Isabella Carroll to manoeuvre into success. Talk about futile!
Now, we’re all hoping that our glittering gold medalist is only a victim of mindless chatter, however, we must concede, neither we nor our sources are holding on to too much hope.
Keep on the lookout for more updates from us on our fallen (?) star!
[a/n]: hehehehehe remember to reblog and tell me your thoughts
#winterwithyoucollab#thediamondlifenetwork#svthub#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines#seungcheol fluff#seuncheol smut#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol scenarios#seungcheol x reader#seungchel angst#scoups#svt#svt smut#em.writes#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#Seungcheol x reader#svt scenarios#svt x reader#svt fic recs
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Before the next update potentially messes up my headcanons, here’s my fankid for Shadow milk cookie.
I don’t have much about her story thought out. All I got so far is that the witches took her away when Shmilk and the others were imprisoned. She got put in a time bubble until she was found by the sugar gnomes and raised in the abandoned Cookie Kingdom. Blueberry Ice Cream has no memories of her father or where she came from originally.
I want her to be more like how Shadow Milk was before he became corrupted. Which, in my mind, is a total book worm and story buff. She enjoys the stories the Sugar Gnomes told her growing up, and has basically appointed herself as the kingdom’s scribe. Whenever the gang comes back from their adventures, Blueberry Ice Cream writes down the information they give her.
She doesn’t REALLY get involved until the journey to Beast Yeast.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run oc#crk#crk fanart#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk crk#oc#fanart#fankid#yapping about my hyperfixations#Blueberry Ice Cream Cookie#Blue Belle tag
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I'm going to blame wanting an update on my favorite wasp boy on my high fever XD
He’s a good boy and I hope you feel better soon!
Worker Bee Pt 13
Waspinator x Reader
• Venting raggedly, he leans into your warmth as you tug him back into your hive and he lays his head against you. Feels your arms wrap around him and doesn’t resist when you pull him to that broken, soft couch. “What happened?” You demand, soft hands drifting over him. Didn’t mean to worry you. Wants to apologize. Truthfully, he’s been hurt much worse before and his self repair systems are already working to seal torn lines and stop him from bleeding out energon. He’d gorged himself, drinking as much as he could find knowing the punishment would be the same no matter how much or how little he stole.
• Sucking in a sharp breath as you help him ease down on your couch and you see whatever the glowing stuff he’s bleeding is all over you, you gingerly touch his face. One mandibles isn’t closing properly and an optic is squinted shut. And as annoying as he is, this makes you want to hurt someone for hurting him. Because yes, he frustrates you, but he’s sweet and gentle. He didn’t deserve this. “How can I help?” You ask, cautiously touching that mandible and wondering if you should try and push it back into alignment or if that will hurt. Know he’s a machine, but also that he’s alive and feels things. “Waspinator? Talk to me, honey.”
• Has your voice ever been that soft before? Doesn’t think so, but loves it. Wants you to keep talking to him like that. Like he’s not a nuisance, like you care about what happens to him because no one else does. Catching your arm and tugging you down on top of him, he rolls you both so you’re safe between the cushioned back of the couch and his frame. The Combaticons wouldn’t have followed him just to finish the beating. At least he hopes not. “Stay,” he hisses, resting his head on top of yours, feeling you still shaking from the cold.
• Squirming as he shifts to pin you more firmly, you give up. “You’re hurt. At least let me do something about the blood.” Glowing, alien blood all over your couch and you both. At least it’s not acidic? And he just gives a low, buzzing growl, draping an arm across you to keep you still. Is he dying? How bad is he hurt? You have no idea and you hate this. Clawed servos rub almost absently against your spine.
• “Tired,” he growls, one mandible ruffling your hair as he just savors having you unresisting in his arms. Pretending you want to be there, that his little friend wants him the way he wants you by his side always. Someone to be glad to see him, who doesn’t try to hurt him or laugh at him. Mock the way he talks, his alt mode. Can feel your warm breath against the mesh of his neck, your softness pressed against him. Just wants to have this as long as possible. To belong somewhere. Shakily reaching up to cup the back of your head, servos threading through your hair, he hums for you, trying to ease your worry for him. He’s been beaten much worse before, this is nothing. But that you care? That’s everything to him. Because you see him.
Previous
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Thanks so much for the tag! I would have done this sooner but then blanked on who to tag cause technically this is a side blog and so idk if I’m actually mutuals with anyone on this one specifically. Also social anxiety apparently.
Last song: Curses by the crane wives
Favourite colour: deep/rich forest green (jewel tones in general)
Last book: shit I need to read more, I honestly don’t know.
Last movie: Wicked
Last show: Severance/Ghosts US
Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Savoury
Relationship status: single
Last thing searched: Kathryn Hahn but I can’t remember why
Current obsession: I feel like I’m in between obsessions right now, it’s just a little bit of many things but none of them are like, hyperfixations like I normally have at least one going on. Like I don’t even have a food fixation right now. I was putting a lot of time into Skyrim recently (first playthrough ever) but I’m already losing some of the bonus dopamine from it. Hades 2 probably will be an obsession again when the next update comes out
Looking forward to: season 2 of severance, also ordering myself some Wicked Barbie dolls whenever I next make a “for fun” purchase
Tagging: @knife-wife @writerxwren @opposite-massive @violet-moonstone and honestly anyone who follows this blog! A good portion of my followers I don’t think are real people so anyone who’s here and a person if you want to participate please do!
Ten People I’d Like to Get to Know Better
tagged by: @orphiclovers
last song: It’s all been Christmas retail crap or if you count the radio on the drive home playing Avril Lavigne
fav color: this pale seafoam green for things or white for clothes
last book: Eclipse by Wilder (poetry)
last movie: Deadpool & Wolverine
last show: N/A
sweet/spicy/savory: sweet and savory
relationship status: 4 people proposed to me this year. 1 meant it fr 🥹 (engaged irl) otherwise I have a harem on AO3 going.
last thing i googled: how big is a wintermelon?
current obsession: cooking and Infinity Nikki
looking forward to: I’m planning a road trip with the girls later this week!!
Tagging: @auuwmk, @ssunfish, @ajhaijma, @stoneclaw, @quiteboared, @kiwiandmint, @dgeneralacc, @rex44201, @readingdreaming4951, @thottykunikida
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you want me to pretend? | r.c
You really hated lies, but a tiny one might not seem so bad when it's meant for a good cause. Parents teach their children not to lie but sometimes to make others happy people lie so you did and it came back to bite you in the ass. It was never your plan to let it go so far; those three hours weren’t supposed to change everything as much as they did. It became more than lying, it became keeping things from the people you cared about the most and dealing with them on your own. Isn’t it funny how fate likes to stir things up? maybe a lie was all that was needed to make the truth come out.
pairing: college!basketball!captain!rafe x college!student!reader content: fake dating, secret pining, smau, written chapters, tiny bit of angst, fluff
important!! I adapted my own story to write this fic, my OC's Nathan and Avery are the ones I based reader's and rafe's personalities from. Since I adapted my story, this is an AU where there will be major changes, mainly in the Cameron family this to fit the storyline better. I don't want to say what are the changes just know Ward is a good person and father in this one.
get to know: college!student!reader | college!basketball!captain!rafe
chapters: coming soon
authors note: @zyafics thank you for letting me rant my thoughts away to figure the timeline out and for making HB:L because it gave me a new perspective on how I could tell some parts of their story, fun fact this was actually the first fic i planned on posting but I was struggling on how to make it but i kept playing around it for a while until i felt happy with it
taglist: i have taglists for each fic and a side blog to get updates on everything i write @inthelibrarybtw-notifs if you want to be added send an ask or comment! :)
REBLOGS, COMMENTS AND LIKES ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED
INTHELIBRARYBTW ✧.*
#inthelibrarywrites#YWMTP?#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#college au#rafe fluff#college!student!reader#college!basketball!captain!rafe#rafe x reader#rafe fic#rafe cameron fluff
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— DECEMBER 2024.
Accomplishments.
I thought I was forgetting something and then I realized it was my monthly update. Oops. So even though we’re a third into the month, here’s what I did in December.
To be quite honest, most (if not all) of what I did throughout the month was work on the Holiday Special. I’m really glad to see that it was well received (honestly, even though I’ve been doing this for a while, putting anything out is stressful so it’s always great to see positive feedback). I’m a bit of a slow writer so it took me a while, but I’m glad it paid off. I always love writing extra content for you guys anyway.
In terms of Chapter 12, I’m back at it this month and slowly chipping away at it. Still no estimated time for when it’ll be released, but I’m hoping Q1 of 2025. Of course, the break last month didn’t help in terms of productivity and word count, but at least it refreshed my mind. I had just finished up writing a big branch (probably close to 15,000 words) so I was pretty exhausted and tired of the content. That happened a lot when I was writing Chapter 11, which eventually led to a big burnout that I am trying to prevent this time around, because, well, it was not fun. But now that I’ve stayed away from Chapter 12 for a bit, I feel excited enough to go back.
I’m currently writing Eliana’s initial meeting with the Hunter and am trying to pinpoint how I want her to come off. Of course, I have a set personality for her, but determining character traits is one thing—actually making sure they are portrayed in writing is another. It’s been a bit challenging so far, but I do usually say that I like a challenge, so I think it’ll be fun.
I’m estimating the final chapter word count to be somewhere around 45-50k—possibly more if I decide to torture myself with another branch—so I’m at least halfway or a third of the way there. None of the chapters have ever surpassed 70k and I doubt this will, so I don’t have to worry there.
For the rest of January, I’m focusing on just getting as much done as possible. My four year anniversary (wtf) is also coming up for this game, so I’m trying to decide what to do for it. I want to write another short, but that would delay Chapter 12 even further so I’m not sure. Perhaps just a set of drabbles? Let me know if anyone has any ideas. As always, take care of yourselves <3
Stats.
Chapter Total: 21,850 words (+1640)
Game Total: ~533,280 words
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Also just want to say Hi, hello, I am still alive and around and intend to post translations here! 🫡 My algorithm has been TRAAAASH these days, though, and I don't have as much free time to just be scrolling douyin as I did when I first started this blog! So, the emptiness here isn't for a lack of trying :P Trust me, I feel bad about it lol!
Okay, that's the official update. Please, no photos...
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You're lucky. What I would give to be able to forget—
[Drawing and design notes under the cut]
*cackles* Turns out, even putting just Hero through Moment of Clarity wasn't enough for Everest, they needed to make all of their voices suffer :]
This drawing was a very funny one because it just kept evolving until it got to what you see now! It was supposed to be a quick doodle where I send my human Hero to MoC... but then I wanted to add the other voices and give this drawing some nice lineart... and then I wanted to add flat colors to make sure each character is distinct from one another... and then I added light shading—
Despite how much it grew out of my control, and despite how much trouble it gave me composition and concept-wise, I'm quite happy with the final result. I'm glad I could at least play around and make some concepts for how my voices would change during the Moment of Clarity. Some were definitely on the simpler side, but others had quite a few neat details! If you're curious to read my thoughts on that, well, there we go!
Stubborn: definitely one of the simpler ones, though both of his Adversary-borrowed horns are snapped, almost symbolizing his usual will to fight depleting almost completely. He also has a bunch of bruise/dust marks all over him, as though he just came out of a fight.
Broken: I went with the obvious one and gave him a bunch of cracks for how shattered he is. But I also made his ears longer (which is the case for all of my voices that have "loose"/hair-like feathers - which are Hero, Smitten, and Broken)... and also he has a suspicious scar on his neck—
Cold: he is the voice that has the least "damage" on him, only really having some missing/messy bang feathers. He does, however, seem even colder than usual, insisting that all other voices are too soft, and they need to be numb and unfeeling... what's a better way to represent that than to literally have him covered in light icy texture?
Paranoid: my poor Paranoid always, always wears gloves when he can, it's a headcanon of mine that he feels extremely uncomfortable and anxious without them. And, uh, he is not wearing any in this drawing. Also just like the Hero in this and previous MoC drawings, he does not have any claws on his hands. His claws are gone :]
Skeptic: he was a difficult one for sure, I couldn't quite figure out how to represent his damage and distress. I ended up breaking a link on his neck shackle (which is barely noticeable), breaking his spiky collar feathers (which is barely noticeable), and adding a light "unraveling" texture (which is, again, barely noticeable). He does look very uncertain and confused, though, so at least I got that right!
Smitten: Smitten borrowed some of the elements from his HEA design, mainly the straightened hair and fallen-out curls. But to differentiate between the two designs, I also added a crack along the center of Smitten's face, like the one you might see on a broken heart :]
Opportunist: Opportunist actually doesn't seem to be doing too horribly during MoC (at least if you compare him to some of the other voices), which is why his design isn't as damaged as some of the other ones. He is tattered and messy, sure, but not completely destroyed like some of the other voices, though I did make sure to give him a very wide-eyed... half-scared, half-empathetic expression, I guess.
Hunted: while his quote "Kill or be killed" was taken out during one of the updates, I really wanted to include it in the drawing because I think it characterizes Hunted during this route very well. That's why his primary damage is blood splatters, from numerous and numerous and numerous deaths.
Cheated: he was fairly simple to do because his default design is already cut up and stitched together. All I needed to do was to add a few more gaping wounds and unravel his stitches. That's why his right ear is missing, too!
Contrarian: similar to Cheated, Contrarian also just got a feature of his regular design—cracks—greatly exaggerated. Contrarian really didn't seem to be doing well during MoC, which is why I went all out on his cracks. Couldn't let him open his eyes, or drop his "smiley" expression completely, but you hopefully can tell that he is barely hanging in there.
Hero: oh, Hero, my sweet, sweet boy Hero. I already talked about his MoC design in a previous post—broken visor feathers to represent his destroyed nature as a "hero" and missing claws—and his long, very unkempt feathers represent the passage of time (how long they've been stuck in there) and almost unraveling (how badly has Hero been damaged by whatever they all experienced in the lead up to Moment of Clarity).
...should be all I wanted to ramble about! Hope you all like this drawing as much as I enjoyed making it :]
#slay the princess#stp#slay the princess fanart#stp fanart#stp voices#oh boy - here we go#stp cheated#stp contrarian#stp opportunist#stp hunted#stp skeptic#stp smitten#stp cold#stp paranoid#stp stubborn#stp broken#stp hero#voice of the hero#stp princess#stp moment of clarity#the moment of clarity#art#fanart#voice designs
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The way I loved you - Shadow's version
*A.N: sorry, I got lost reading some ff
"He is sensible and so incredible And all my single friends are jealous."
"Look at these beautiful flowers!" said Amy. "You have to tell me your secret, Sonic isn't the most romantic guy, ya' know" You were sitting in the living room of your apartment; it was small but cozy. There were plants in every corner, and despite the little time you had to settle in, you felt comfortable in this new house.
"And it's like, I couldn't ask for anything better," you said with a shy smile.
"That's fabulous! I'm so happy you gave yourself this chance... you know, since..."
"I know, I feel good, but I want to take it slow."
"And I feel perfectly fine."
When Amy left, you let yourself fall back onto your bed, in fact you didn't really feel fine. You missed him, you missed every moment. You couldn't blame Amy, you were too good at hiding your feelings. Only someone who knew you perfectly would notice you weren’t... happy. Actually, you didn't feel anything at all.
"... And it's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. So in love that you act insane, and that's the way I loved you."
Every night, just before closing your eyes to sleep, you could feel his breath, his presence hadn't left you for a second in the last three months. Even though you didn't see him anymore, it was as if his memory was buried in your mind, like his image was tattooed on your heart, a mark you couldn't erase, one you didn’t want to erase. It hadn't been long since you met Dylan. He was actually nice, you'd bumped into him at the cafeteria, and he accidentally spilled your latte. After a thousand apologies, he offered to buy you a new one. You’d been hanging out three times, counting today, but when you told your friends about it, they were more than happy to see you back in the game.
"He respects my space, and never makes me wait, and he calls exactly when he says he will."
You checked your latest messages. Dylan had written "Goodnight and have fun, beautiful," after you mentioned you wouldn’t see him and would instead spend time with the girls.
"He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable."
"I'm comfortable," you said aloud, but when you were alone, hundreds of memories haunted you. Memories of when you had been so happy, loved like you never thought possible, cried, and suffered, but you did it all by his side. There he was again, always occupying your thoughts. At 2 p.m., when you had lunch, and again at 2 a.m., when you woke up startled by nightmares where you lost him over and over. You turned your phone back on, scrolling down to the bottom of your messages, and found his conversation. You read again the last message he had sent you: "I'll be late," with the date on the day you decided to move on with your life without him.
"He caused all of this. So… why do I feel like this?" you thought. You couldn't stop looking at the screen, hoping, wishing there was something more, that he had done something more. Suddenly, his status changed, he was online, and dots began to appear on the screen. He was typing. After three months of silence, he had finally reached out to you… your heart raced so fast you felt like it would burst out of your chest. The excitement, anxiety, fear, and anger were trying to take control of your body all at once. But when the dots disappeared, and his status went offline again, everything collapsed.
"Breaking down and coming undone, it's a rollercoaster kind of rush. And I never knew I could feel that much, and that's the way I loved you."
The next morning, you bumped into Dylan on your way to work. You talked about the weather, your outing with the girls, and his job. Dylan loved his job as an IT agent for GUN and loved to talk endlessly, something you weren’t used to. You limited yourself to nodding and smiling while he told you about the latest update he'd made to the criminal profiles platform at GUN.
"He can´t see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all."
As you walked through the GUN facilities and passed by the training center, memories flooded your mind. This time, you both had fought, but you didn't quite remember why...
You walked out of the training center, both fists clenched until your claws dug into your palms. You were upset, he hadn't respected the agreement to let you work, and his only defense had been, "You're not strong enough for this task, sorry." Once again, underestimating your abilities, even though, thanks to your effort, the last two missions you'd worked on together had gone wonderfully, and your colleagues praised your persistence. Of course, he was the team captain, and you didn’t expect different treatment just because you were his girlfriend; you simply expected him to start noticing your potential.
"And you were wild and crazy. Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated. Got away by some mistake and now..."
"Stupid hedgehog," you muttered under your breath as the raindrops began to soak your body. The wind soon picked up, and what started as a small breeze had turned into a storm. You had to turn back, or you'd end up sick, and they'd send you home. Just as you were about to go back, you heard someone calling your name. It was him, standing a few meters away, his dark fur soaked, and every quill dripping. His chest fur, once fluffy, now seemed flat due to the water.
"If you're here to scold me again, keep it to yourself. I was about to go back." In a second, the hedgehog was right in front of you.
"I'm sorry," you heard him murmur. "Don’t disappear like that again." Something in his voice made your wall of anger break. There, in the rain, with his face drenched and his red eyes, now dimmed, just inches from yours, made him look so... vulnerable. "No… I didn’t mean that you can’t do it, it’s just that… thinking of you, alone, out there… no, no..." he stammered, looking away. You had never seen him like this. You were so used to his strong, disciplined personality. Worry was not a word you associated with him, but now you realized he was worried about you.
"Hey," you said, gently caressing his face. "It's okay, I’m here, and I’ll be fine because I’ll have the best captain to guide me" you smiled at him.
"The best captain?" he asked, his crimson eyes regaining their sparkle as he raised an eyebrow.
"Of course! Sonic doesn’t do things as badly as you think, and... we have you too," you joked, earning a snort from him. You smiled as he closed the distance between you, pulling you into an embrace. The surprise was evident in your eyes. You knew he hated public displays of affection, especially at work. He didn't want people thinking there was favoritism towards you. He tightened his embrace as he felt your body shivering because of the cold, moving his face close to yours placing a soft kiss that contained everything he couldn't express.
"I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and It's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. I'm so in love that I acted insane, and that's the way I loved you."
"Hey! Moon!" someone called, snapping you out of your thoughts. As you returned to the present, you found yourself staring at the training center. Dylan had his hand in front of your face, trying to get your attention. "Where did you go?"
"Ah... it's nothing," you said, scratching the back of your head, your cheeks still flushed from the memory. "See you later, Dylan." You walked towards the main offices, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone else and trying to avoid running into him. When you reached the elevator, you heard a ring—a new notification. You quickly pulled out your phone and found a message. It was a simple interaction, just 3 words put together, but it was enoght to make your heart begin to beat again, as if waking up from a deep sleep.
Shadow: Hey
"Never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you."
#shadow fanfic#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow x reader#shadow the hedeghog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sth au#sonic fanfiction#mobian x human#thewayilovedyoushadowversion#shadow au
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Me remembering the beautiful moving speech about Arno’s redemption and a second chance at hope for humanity at the end of Dead Kings is narrated by the Marquis de Sade
Update since I initially made this in drafts: the passage is indeed from one of Condorcet’s manuscripts which Arno had to retrieve (10th Epoch, Future Progress of Man 1796) and the speech in game cut off right before the racism jumped out sgssugdjgd
#assassins creed#assassins creed unity#assassins creed dead kings#THAT GUY???????????#I have so much to say about de Sade’s treatment in the game and it’s all negative but idk who wants to hear that considering the nature of#him in general…#condorcet update: I skimmed half of it but I got tired so I’m working on other stuff now but yeah#the game fr cut the speech off right before the racism… help
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i am bive from regretevator!
i dont particularly miss the regretevator universe.. i do enjoy the game though
i know two infected fictionkins, one of which is also unpleasant gradient and poob!
id say im a 3/10, i tend to be a very rational person (i think)
bive is unlabled mspec but wlw and im aroace transmasc
my fictionkin identity doesnt really effect daily life, if at all. it has to be triggered by specific bive related things. the closest its gotten is wanting to yell out "me" whenever the npc me entered the elevator while i was playing with my friend, who does not know im a fictionkin, so there was like an awkward pause where i stopped myself, and then yelled bive. there are random bits of dysphoria i guess, i dont like talking in third person, but its mild and i can get past it.
my fictionkin experience is mainly unpleasant (gradient) unfortunately. shifts are euphoric but also stressful. i tend to have to consciously ground myself a bit, because i have felt like im being watched in the past. i knew/know i wasnt, i just couldnt shake the feeling. i mean coming up with theories for the game where i can just completely let lose is fun, however it is saddening that i will probably never come up with a real one.
death note, touch tone telephone (i was based on that song so its not surprising), and i recently realized the backrooms does too. theres more im not thinking of
im not sure, its not psychological and i think dont believe in most spiritual things. its probably a multiversal thing, but i dont know from there so i usually just say unlabeled.
i do experience shifts! they are always triggered tho, thankfully. i dont get them too often. the first two shifts i had were me being paranoid abt things (the very first one was very out of control, but i was sleep deprived and depressed at the time). the second time i talked about two questions ago. i didnt have any shifts for awhile after that until i my plushie arrived, and i stayed up quite a bit just missing mediamates. that was rough. my later shifts were triggered by trying to come up with theories for the game, altho i wasnt aware i was shifted, until later, i thought i was just excited. the theories were really unhinged, and i thought i was a genius. it was rly fun tho. harmless shift. today i had a brief shift, i was looking at a bive fictionkin stimboard, and there was like a liminal space gif + music was playing, and it looked.. all too much like the lab. i started crying a bit, even tho i do not think have kinmemories, but it ended pretty quickly cuz my friend msged me a joke and the shock value got to me lol. ive also had phantom shifts, but not much recently. i may have had tail shifts, but its difficult to differentiate between kintypes
my media is regretevator on roblox! i do cringe at it sometimes tbh.
when i see fanart, it sort of feels like it was made FOR me specifically lol. what i know abt my canon heavily aligns with the fanon designs so thats cool. when it doesnt align i do feel a bit off tho- like no, that isnt me. you got it wrong. ironically this happened with a recent canon update, when they added melanie WHO IS DEAD. she was supposed to BE dead and STAY dead. and then also, why do i welcome her back?? why am i so friendly?? i mean i get that shes like friends or smth with split, but i just dont trust her. i have no reason not to, i just dont. that is WRONG. you. NO. get OUT.
ooh ooh! i like this question. i have a large, reptile-like (but hairy) non-prehensile tail! my hands and feet are clawed, with only 4 digits. for my feet i have like thumb things coming out of my heels, similar to a bird. i likely am very similar the upcoming remodel, but i cant confirm as i have not seen it. i just know im not a roblox character, and the previews of splits remodel feel very familiar.
ah.. ships. i dont see much of them outside me n split. if i do i just think its a bit weird, and move on. i wish i was seen as more than just someone who likes her. theres more to me. the majority of bive fans are mainly spive fans. i decided to look myself up on tumblr and i was just flooded with shipart. there is MORE TO ME. I AM MORE THAN HER. PLEASE SEE ME FOR ME.
in current lore me and split have feelings for each other (cant relate, im aro, but spive is in my canon tho) and are GOING to confess but that has not happened yet. i feel kinda weird abt it since i have very mixed feelings on romance, but i think we are a thing in my canon, because MY GOD I MISS SPLIT SO MUCH. I MISS HER.
Alex's fictionkin ask game!
(mostly for fictional characters)
🌲 - what is your fictotype?
🪲 - do you miss your home? Or maybe you're happy that you're here?
🐸 - do you have any sourcemates? If yes, who/what are they?
🌳 - in scale 1-10, how are you similar to your canon?
🌿 - does your fictotype have a different sex/gender identity than your body/you?
☘️ - what aspect of life does your identity affect the most?
🪴 - is your fictionkin experience unpleasant or enjoyable for you?
🍃 - what reminds you of your fictotype? (E.g.: a figurine, a doll, a tv series)
🌄 - on what level is your identity? (E.g. spiritual, psychological, psychical)
🐢 - do you experience shifts? Of yes, how do they look like?
🥝 - what is your source?
🐛 - how do you feel about fanarts of you and fanfictions?
🌵 - do you look exactly like in your source or do you look different? If you do, then what is different?
🥀 - what do you think about ships with you?
🦕 - do you have/had a loved one in your source?
♪♪♪
So, yeah, that's all! :D
Reblog this, so the others can ask you questions or answer them all right now, if you want to :>
#fictionkin#fictionfolk#otherkin#alterhuman#regretevatorfictionkin#regretevator fictionkin#regretevator bive#bive regretevator#bivefictionkin#bive#regretevator#sorry for the rant#split#regretevator split#spive
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HELLO I was the anon who got a random blockee and was hoping for the soundwave figures and while I didn't get him I got Scavenger and he has my whole heart 😭😭😭 he's my lil booboo 🥰🥰 (I will be ordering soundwave tho and more I'm doomed)
He’s lonely. He needs friends 😃 Scrapper finally showed up after his tracking stopped updating Dec 31st and he disappeared off the face of the Earth. Two more to go.
Drive Pt 4
Constructicons x Reader
• “Thank you?” Part of you wants to ask if they’d hurt anyone stealing this stuff for you, but honestly? You’re scared to. Because it looks like Long Haul and Bonecrusher probably went on a crime spree. And Bonecrusher just keeps producing stuff out of nowhere to add to the pile. Food, clothes, small electronics, soaps and candles. Maybe they’d just demolished a mall? They mean well and they’re trying to take care of you, but you really hope they didn’t hurt anyone. Even as a guilty part of you is ridiculously excited about the food and soap.
• Bending, Long Haul begins setting your new things in the mini habsuite they’d made you. Noting that Scrapper and Scavenger had been busy while he’d been out and had tapped into the base water lines to make you a tiny wash rack and waste disposal area. Your little habitat now even bigger as they all keep adding to it. “You needed food and human stuff,” Long Haul mutters, embarrassed when you offer him a small smile. And it’s not like he’d minded. Getting to really let loose and destroy things had felt good. Freezing when you limp closer and lay a soft hand on his ped, he hesitantly brushes a servo over your head before turning away. “It’s either feed you or watch you die,” he adds gruffly, uncomfortable with your affection.
• Venting as you smile up at Long Haul, Bonecrusher reaches to gently scoop you up. Feeling little hands on his servos as he carries you over to his berth and lays back carefully rubbing your jaw. So small you feel insubstantial in his hands, and something about that fragility fascinates him. “You missed us?” He asks, stilling as you grab his servo and smile up at him like you’re not the least bit frightened. That trust shocking him. How can you be so small and not cower?
• Watching Long Haul pimping out your alien, Barbie dream house, you wrap your arms around Bonecrusher’s servo to keep him from petting from neck to navel and further south. It’s not like he knows better or means anything by it, but putting a stop to it as quickly as possible seems a smart move. “It was quiet,” you say opting for honesty. Because the six of them are constantly laughing and jostling each other. Loud and raucous in a way that reminds you of a frat house. Complete with the alcohol, or high grade as they’d called it. After realizing you’re safe as long as you play along at being their collective pet, you’d started consciously trying to make friends. After all, your survival depends on them.
• “Must have been boring,” Long Haul calls from the floor as he arranges boxes of food stuffs in a tidy pile in a corner. You’ll need storage space so this stuff isn’t just lying around. “I’m thinking cabinets and shelves,” he adds, looking at where Mixmaster and Hook are working on reports. Waiting for Mixmaster to vent at him, but set aside his report to help.
• Glancing at his brothers fussing with your space again, Hook checks on you and Bonecrusher. Making sure the much bigger mech isn’t being too rough with you, but so far he’s been shockingly gentle. And right now the huge mech is making a grumbling purr of his engines at you. Something he’d call out anyone else for. Getting punched in the face by Bonecrusher not exactly on his to do list, though, because his brothers definitely don’t warrant the same gentleness you do.
Previous
#transformers x reader#constructicons x reader#constructicons#idw long haul#mixmaster#idw scrapper#idw scavenger#bonecrusher#idw hook
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JayVik x Reader Personal Pigments (Part 21) - Phthalo Emerald (NSFW)
As of last chapter this is a jayvik x reader fic now. It is going to be a JayVik fic. Ft. Viktor being a quiet lover boy and JayVik smut. haven't written MLM +18 before so careful and I'm sorry in advance lol. it'll be marked by a breaker MDNI
Find my imagine that inspired it here. Previous and next chapter will be linked at the bottom.
As much as daily chapters were fun to do, not feasible with my current work schedule. It may move to 2-4 days between releases now. stay tuned and Thank you for reading <3 Sorry it took so long for this update! I was in a wedding that I had to travel for and also holiday burnout. But I'm back with a vengeance.
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It had been a good morning for Viktor, he had awoken rested. Warm. Wrapped in Jayce's arms. This became a more familiar feeling. What was once ephemeral memories of rarely shared naps had turned into cuddling in bed together, warm broad hands rubbing into his legs and back. Jayce cologne settled into his pillows weeks ago. Cold mornings alone now were warm and slow starts to the day. Fleeting kisses and soft touches, drapes of cloth and linen. This morning was like all the others, and there was nothing that either of them would change about it. Aside from you.
Time had continued to pass as it always did, and their patience began to wane. Admittedly it was Viktor’s own that seemed to dwindle. Jayce seemed content with just having him for now. That didn’t stop Jayce from joining in on the teasing. Now he had both of you in this lab. His golden darling, and you. Who was not his just yet. But he could want you to be. And for now that was enough. Because he saw how you were watching him and Jayce. He saw your lingering glances. Your weighted gaze on where their hands held each other. Something that lit a fire in himself and in Jayce. It resulted in some... testing this morning. Gauging your reaction to their actions and eyes. Seeing how beautifully red you could get just from their gentle teasing. It made some primitive part of him imagine what more hands on approaches could do to you. Discussions that he and Jayce indulged in when the wine gifted from Mel would find itself in their glasses.
That would come later, much later if it needed to. Today all they had were words and time. That shyness that swept across your face when you heard him call Jayce, Zlato. A pink gone crimson when you heard your own endearment. If you had asked why Viktor would have gladly answered. Even if he preferred to keep such close sentiments to himself, he knew your love for imagery. He knew that if he told you why he had picked those words that you would have been putty in his palm. Zlato and Broučku each had their own meanings that he had chosen to share and that he chose to keep private.
Zlato meant darling, but it also directly translated to gold. Jayce Talis was golden to him. His tan, his energy. Where you drew him as the sun personified, Viktor thought of him as starlight. As a continuous pulsing of energy that ebbed and flowed, lighting the night sky on Viktor’s late nights. Something to look for, to be excited to see. To watch glow and twinkle. That smile so bright as if he was lit from within. Stars he didn't always get to see back in Zaun. The smoke from Zaun and light pollution from Piltover sometimes blocked out those celestial lights. But Jayce was like that to him. Moving and changing, part of history in a way that not everyone quite understood. A gold dusting across space and time. Like gold, he was soft and malleable. Like gold, he was still strong and desired. Like gold, he shone in the sun. Like gold, he deserved to be taken care of. Like gold, Viktor wanted to wear him on his skin.
And you? There was brouček, which was cuter. Little beetle. But broučku fit you better, he thought. When he imagined you, your always working hands, there was a buzzing behind his neck. Deep and thrumming in his ears. You had wormed your way into his lab. His life. His heart. Had burrowed under his skin. An iridescent sheen in his mind when he thought of you. Something that had truly hit him that morning after you had mixed your paints in the lab. As a scientist he understood your explanation and preference for correct terminology. But your laugh warmed his chest and soothed the mental aches being in the lab brought him. He couldn't help himself. Especially after your note where you kept the silly name, had crossed out your own words just to call back to his misnomer.
You had become embedded in him without him realizing. Despite there being the closeness that he and Jayce had shared he was certain that you were a part of him. A kind of stability that your presence had offered that he took comfort in. Regardless of if you became entwined in the romance he and Jayce shared, he knew that you would be a sweet constant.
Viktor sees your mind processing the nicknames, sees how your cheeks are impossibly ruddy, sees the way you fidget with your hands. You had laughed and relaxed. Still, whatever limits you had it seemed that they were about to hit them, so he taps Jayce’s hand and gestures to their table. A silent “Let us work now.” When Jayce turns around he is barely hiding all the affection Viktor knows he holds. It pours from that smile, gleaming in those happy hazel eyes. And it fills Viktor’s chest with his own. He can hear the tense breath you let loose when they both face their table. He can only imagine how your shoulders must relax without their focus on you. Can not help the last look he gives you. His eyes are catching yours. Your own watering from laughter. Viktor almost speaks. But you smile at him and any words catch in his throat. So he offers his own and gets back to work. The soothing sounds of all three of you working plays in the background.
As the day continues like normal there is a burning that had settled in him. There was a tenderness in today’s teasing, yes. But something in Viktor had been awoken by all that blushing of yours. It means that when you call it an early night he only waits until the door shuts to tug on Jayce’s tie. His golden partner was looking over his shoulder at calculations. Jayce says nothing at the action, simply waits. Having been victim to Viktor’s teasing in almost all its forms he knew better than to react too quickly now.
“Perhaps we should call it a night too.” is all Jayce needs to hear to lean into Viktor’s back. Eyes closing when he feels Viktor rise to stand. There’s no straightening of notes before they leave. Just a silent walk back to their rooms. Lately they had spent most nights in Viktor’s room, the mattress more comfortable on his leg. Tonight they stop at Jayce’s door.
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Jayce sat on the bed patiently, his hand loosely fidgeting with the sheets as Viktor undresses. Jayce himself had already made it down to just his boxers, straining in the fabric just watching. An inaudible hitch in his throat when he sees how Viktor had loosened his tie. Two moles on the right side of his neck unveiling as the collar dipped open. Jayce can feel his own gaze travel down to those beautifully long fingers deftly working at buttons. Watching with a growing hunger. They had been so gentle and teasing this whole time they'd been together. More so before their talk to make it more. But tonight was different. And so he didn't want to forget a moment. He would catalogue it deep within his brain. Would make sure to remember every little thing he did right. Remember every movement Viktor made. A clearing throat pulls his gaze up.
Viktor’s small smug smile greeting him. Flushed cheeks. It's all he can do to not pull him down onto that bed right away. To kiss up and down every inch of the man before him. Instead, Jayce opens his arms wide. Asking. Pleading with his eyes, leaning forward without thinking. He tries to ignore the thumping of his heart. Jayce Talis was a lover. He was a man that had been with men and women, needed affection and to give it. Craved it. And with his partner here in his room that one simple fact about himself did not change. Only became exemplified. As soon as Viktor stepped between Jayce’s legs he could feel those tan arms wrap around his back. Feel them slide under the loose button up. Thick fingers splayed along his lower spine. He could feel Jayce’s lips trailing soft kisses, loving and slow up and down his stomach. The press of Jayce’s nose into his abdomen. Viktor wrapped his own arms around Jayce. He trailed his hands until they met with the nape of Jayce's neck. And how could he not chuckle at the sigh he heard in response? At the puff of air he felt in his skin as Jayce leaned into his touch and looked up through loving hazel eyes?
Jayce tries to stay focused, tries to not let the night become a blur of bodies and sensations. Leans into every kiss, committed to every action that has a taste and sound. Everytime his hands wander too low Viktor’s hands pull them away and up. When Viktor himself is only in his boxers he’s sitting in Jayce’s lap. Hands holding Jayce’s above his head, whispering about patience and behavior. Words that he wishes he could focus on. All he knows is that Viktor tastes like coffee today. Like home. Cold hands on his hot skin. Hips moving deep and slow, brushing against each other.
Viktor isn’t sure how long he’s kept Jayce at this point before he settles further down the bed. Trailing fingers over where Jayce has made a mess in his underwear. Reveling in the gasps Jayce can’t hide. In the way he twitches beneath the wet fabric. It’s deliciously pathetic. Makes him hungry. Lightheaded. When he fully presses his palm down Jayce curses, trying to stay still. A task quickly abandoned as Viktor continues to tease, until he’s panting and whining.
“Do you need more or could you finish like this?” Viktor’s voice is soft and admiring. A tone that is heavy with demand yet still asking. Jayce only nods, eyes barely open enough to see what Viktor’s doing. Crawling up for messy kisses and that hand never stops. “Vik I can’t, I’ll-” It takes an ear nip and a few well timed praises. A groan that rumbles deep in his chest, loud enough that Viktor can feel it in his own as a wet flood pulses through the fabric of Jayce’s boxers. He keeps moving, focusing on getting every last bit until he hears a whine.
"Can't wait anymore, let me touch you. Please. Let me make you feel good. " His voice is hoarse. Emotion that could be lust or love. It’s both but that didn't matter as his lips met skin and hands fumbled with the waistband of his underwear. "Wanna taste you. Can I?" Viktor just looked at him. A ring of amber barely visible around the blown pupils. Finally Jayce could feel that sense of pride. Drinking in every second of those mole and freckle covered shoulders heaving up and down. Loving every minute that he could be touching his partner. "Please V."
Viktor wants to deny him but impatient stuttering hips betray his resolve. He lifts them and nods, not trusting the voice rising in his throat to stay steady. Not when Jayce looks at him like that. Pouty kiss bitten lips parted to show that endearing tooth gap. He had no time to take in the cool air he’s suddenly exposed to. Jayce’s hands are already on him, pumping his length. All their heavy petting and grinding meant that it didn't take much to get him fully hard. So Jayce wastes no time in pushing him down, leaning forward on his knees. The pillows by his feet getting kicked off the bed as he settles and puts his mouth on Viktor. The hot muscle moving to make room and properly cradle the underside on each slow pass. Viktor could hide his first groan, but not the second.
Seeing Jayce’s brows furrowed together in concentration, those short thick lashes resting on the swell of Jayce’s cheeks. Especially not when Jayce hums as if he's content to be here of all places. Viktor can feel the back of his partners throat, kissing the head as Jayce tries to swallow around him. It's too much, too far and he wants to pull away. But Jayce is lifting Viktor’s hips. Pressing himself impossibly close, nose brushing against that patch of hair, taking in shaky breaths. His orgasm is fast. Too fast. Viktor can't warn him, all he can do is let his head lean back as he spasms. He can feel his leg twitch, a heel dogging into Jayce’s back, he can feel himself twitching as he cums. The wet heat of Jayce’s mouth staying there the whole time, slowing down his movements to draw it out as long as possible. When he finally pulls off Viktor is barely there. That bliss of another person warming his whole body. He can barely register the kisses on his inner thigh, just when they stop and he feels Jayce lay his head on a bony hip. Jayce hums when he feels Viktor's hands in his hair. A few strands stuck to his forehead, just getting his breathing together and they both relax.
“Again?” Viktor can feel Jayce pushing into his hand, head tilting to look up at him. Face so open and vulnerable, and absolutely drunk on the feeling of being there with each other.
“Incorrigible.” It doesn’t stop him from tightening the grip of his fingers in those dark brown locks.
╚═*✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧-✦-✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧*═╝
--.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙-Part 20-.-Next Part will be linked here.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .--
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#personal pigments#arcane#viktor arcane#fanfiction#viktor league of legends#fanfic#x reader#viktor lol#jayvik#jayce talis#jayvik x reader#jayvik x you#smut
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can you stop with the cryptic answers and just tell us the lore we want to hear
Yeah the last couple answers have been very cryptic so I get where you're coming from.
Here's a suggested rephrase: "why are you so cryptic about lore instead of just telling us?" Because this implies I might have a reason for it, and allows me to answer without feeling attacked.
Writing lore takes time, especially when I haven't cemented something yet. If I'm cryptic, it means I don't know, or I do know and the answer is part of another update that will be dropped in the future.
For example, forgotten gods withering away will be answered by Sombra lore drop, once that is finished being written.
Similarly, sunburst, nightmare moon, and flurry heart all have extensive lore that i simply haven't published yet.
It exists, though, and is accessible on my discord server. Because it is not yet public, I am able to change and overhaul it to make more sense or better connect with other lore.
Some things that you can find on the discord server in various stages of completion:
Sunburst's god form, domain, and destiny
Sombra's rise and fall, god form, and costuming visdev
Flurry heart's god form, domain, powers, and story
Celestia and nightmare moon's battle
What the planet was like before Celestia and Luna made the sun and moon
Parasprite breeding and genetics
Hippogriff and seapony evolution
Queen novu
Unicorn horn shedding, regrowth
Starswirlwill the bearded
The washouts
Discord
Mudbriar as an alicorn
Rainbow dash as an alicorn
There is so much to backread, so much to finish. Come, let's take ibuprofen together
I don't use patreon to host my content, I just use it to collect admission to the discord server.
You can also message me for more clarification on things and I will tell you what my working theories are so far.
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