#I have two free weeks from college maybe ill write something!

[the-broken-truth]

Hello, my dearest friend. I decided to do something different from what I usually request of. Recently we have been into Greek mythology and a few hours ago I imagined myself being darling of Yandere dad Hades who grew an fascination towards me.

Let me give some information of “myself”:

My name is Ana, I am a eighteen year old Brazilian psychology student in the second year of college, I like to draw and write in my free time. My personality traits is: gentle, caring, friendly, quick to irritate, tend to forget things with ease and easily distracted. Physical traits are: Light brown skin, 5’3 height, dark brown eyes and long dyed red hair with dark roots. Clothing style is heavily on grunge and goth, besides I use a lot of makeup.

So my idea for the request is: Ana/Me is going through a rough time after a relative of mine’s death, let’s put an uncle, and I was very depressed and I couldn’t do anything right in work and at college due to my grief. When I started to visit my uncle’s grave constantly I met with the human version of Hades, that after I helped him pick up flowers to make a bouquet for his dead wife, he grew to have a fascination towards me and started to send people to watch me for a few days.

After around two weeks and I was slowly recovering from grief, one day after a long day of work and going to college, I was abducted and woke up on Hades’s palace. He said that from now on I would be his daughter and that I had no more reason to be in grief or sad, cause he got attached for me due to my nature.

Hades proposed that if I stayed in the underworld, he would give anything I want as long as I stay by his side and if I refuse, he would have to put my family in risk and punish them in their afterlife. Even if I tried to convince him not to do so, I decided that the best choice was that I need to obey the God of the Underworld or else my family would suffer. So I accept and he says that I would get use to it and that I would learn to love the underworld, besides being his daughter and helping him with everything he needs.

Also let’s be honest, I might make this man feels less lonely when his wife is gone. Anyway, sorry for the long request and I hope that you don’t mind if I make this one hahaha xD

In the world, there were cycles from beginning to end: A Caterpillar becoming a Butterfly, the progression of a vaccine against an aliment, the process of a bundle of parts becoming an automobile, but the most common and well-known cycle is the Cycle of Life. From the moment we are born, we are destined to die, nothing in this world is eternal…and I was finding that out the hard way as I stood before the headstone of a blood tie severed by the mortality of life.

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Ana - A 18-year-old student that is studying psychology at a college here in my homeland, Brazil. I was called away from the college when I got the news that one of my uncles had fallen deathly ill and wouldn't have that much time left on this Earth. I rushed to the hospital where he was being kept and only a had few moments to say my goodbyes to him before he flatlined and fell into an eternal slumber. It was heart-wrenching for me, even more so for his children, but as I said, that was the cycle of life…it just never bothered me as much as it did at that moment when it clicked that death could happen to anyone, even those closest to you. I hope wherever he is, he finds the peace he was searching for in his mortal life.

It has been about 4 days since we laid him to rest and I still can't get it out of my head that I didn't even say a proper goodbye - maybe it was the guilt I felt from not speaking to him when I went off to college or having that many conversations while he was with us. I felt like I owed him that much and decided to give him that, even if his body could no longer hear me, I hoped that his spirit could and I was going to have that conversation with him and say my proper goodbye, but first, I needed a proper tribute - something my uncle loved doing was tending to his flower garden in his home and I was going to bring some flowers. Luckily for me, there was a flower shop near the cemetery where he was buried and I was heading that way now.

My hands were in my pockets as I walked up to the flower shop - Persephone's Flowers, the place was called - kinda funny that they named the flower shop after the Greek Goddess of Spring but it was a rather fitting name since this place was known for having the most beautiful flowers with the cheapest prices - it was perfect. I reached my hand out to take the door handle into my hand and pulled, causing the bell above my head it rings as I walked into the shop while returning my hand to my black jeans pocket. I looked around the shop and there were a lot of flowers - all with their own meanings and some with the same meaning - my uncle used to teach me that each flower had a meaning and each meaning had a proper place. I reached into my left pocket and pulled out the small list of flowers that meant farewell - I didn't want to say goodbye, just a simple farewell, I was sure we were going to meet again in the afterlife…wherever that would be.

Yellow or White Chrysanthemums

Marigolds

Black Roses

Willows

I picked four flowers so as to not overwhelm myself with choices and I remembered seeing some of these flowers in my uncle's garden…well, except for the Black Roses - Black really wasn't his color as it was mine. I heard the clicking of heels and looked over to the counter and saw a woman - taller than me by a head, with long white hair that was tied into a long braid that was thrown over her shoulder, wearing a baby blue dress with a flower bracelet on her wrist as she placed her hands on the counter, looking around the store before she laid her eyes upon me as I walked over to the counter - the name on her nametag read 'Demeter'.

"Good day, Miss Demeter. I was hoping that you could help me find some flowers." I said as I politely bowed my head and smiled at her which she returned but her smile looked sad and her eyes were full of sadness - she wasn't herself and I could tell, even though this was the first time I had ever met her.

"Hello, dear. Welcome to Persephone's Flowers. How can I help you?" She asked me with the same sad smile on her face. I reached the list over to her and she took it in her hand before looking at it with her icy blue eyes.

"Do you by any chance have these flowers in stock?" I asked her, she exhaled before looking at me.

"You have lost someone as well?" 'As well?', so I was right, she was sad for a reason. I wonder who she lost.

"Yes, Ma'am. I recently lost my uncle about 4 days ago. I didn't have the chance to say a proper farewell to him and I want to make up for that." I said as I looked at the ground.

"What is your name, dear?" Demeter asked.

"My name is Ana." I answered

"Well, Ana, I have all these flowers with the exception of black roses, someone bought the all out a few days ago…and I don't blame him." Demeter looked at the ground before the bell rang once again as the door opened but I didn't turn to look. I heard thundering footsteps and saw a shadow engulf my own but still, I didn't turn around.

"Hades… What are you doing here?"

'Hades?'

"I was hoping that you got more Black Roses." A grumbling voice behind me.

I turned around at the sudden tone of voice that rumbled behind me and came face to face…or rather face to chest… with a rather tall individual. My brown eyes slowly scaled the tall figure until they locked with eyes as crimson as rubies; I was only half his size, man, I felt like a shrimp. He was dressed in a black suit with a matching tie, and his right hand was lifted to show Demeter the 3 Black Roses he had in his hand - rings with giant gems (Rubies, Sapphire, and Emeralds) dawned upon his hand. He had long black hair with a long black beard that connected at the sideburns. However, the most exciting thing about him was his eyes - they were as crimson as the ruby ring on his finger - I couldn't tell if they were contacts or his natural eye color. Still, they radiated the same sadness that I felt, that Demeter felt, the dismay of the loss.

"Hades, I told you that you didn't need to constantly bring flowers to her grave - I know that you miss her, I miss her as well, but you need time to heal and grieve," Demeter said to the tall man but looked down at the flowers in his hands, I looked at him with sadness in my eyes before looking at the flowers - he clearly wants to make a decent bouquet of flowers for his wife. I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth but I lifted my hand to present the flowers to the grieving man - he looked at me with confused eyes before I opened my mouth to speak.

"These flowers symbolize 'Farewell'. I may not have known your wife or know you but I think she would always like these flowers instead of Black Roses, and you can add the black roses to this bundle." I said with a small smile, Hades looked at the flowers before reaching his large hand slowly to the flowers and wrapping his large hand around the stems - I released the flowers and he looked at the bundle of flowers.

"Thank you…" Hades said as he looked at me with a gleam in his red eyes that bore into my brown ones. I smiled at him before walking around the store again to collect the same flowers to make a new bouquet and walked back to the counter with the flowers in my hands - Demeter rang me up. I paid before Hades paid for his flowers and the two of us walked out of the store, walking in the same direction.

'We must be heading to the same place.' I thought as I walked down the street with the large towering man beside me; it was like we had dark clouds hovering over our heads but we didn't say anything. Just walking in silence.

[The Cemetery]

I looked upon the headstone with unshed tears in my eyes as I reached down and placed the flowers on the grave before opening my mouth to speak. I greeted him and spoke to him about past moments and hilarious moments in our past. I asked for his forgiveness for not being around while I was in college and told me that I would come to speak t him again before turning on my heels and walking away from the grave with my hands in my pockets. I walked down the stone path when I stopped at the sound of rolling thunder, I looked up to the grey skies before the downpour hit my skin. I closed my eyes and exhaled - just great - I was getting soaked...until a massive umbrella covered me and blocked out the rain, I looked at the familiar massive hand on the handle of the umbrella and followed it to the face of Hades.

"You will catch a cold if you remain in the rain for too long." His deep voice said as he stood near me and looked down at me.

"Thank you." I said as I smiled at him and he smiled at me as well.

"I want to thank you. The flowers you picked out were a lovely bouquet and I'm sure Persephone would have loved it." Hades said as he and I walked down the stone path, out of the cemetery, and down the sidewalk.

"Persephone? Was that your wife's name?" I asked him.

"Yes. She was the founder and owner of Persephone's Flowers along with her mother - Demeter." Hades said as he looked down at the ground as our feet splashed on the rain-covered sidewalk.

"I see. I'm sorry for your loss but it is the cycle of life." I said as I looked up at him.

"The Cycle of Life? I am familiar with that." Hades said as he walked me over to my car, I unlocked the car and stepped inside before closing the door. I thanked him before he asked me for my name, I gave it to him before I placed the key in the ignition and drove away - I need to get ready for my schooling in the morning.

[Two Weeks Later]

The wound slowly began to heal but something was going on - for some reason, I have been feeling like i have been flllowed. I have been noticing the same man with red hair and pale skin in a black business suit but he never speaks to me, just stares at me. I noticed him while I was working at a cafe in Brazil, he would sit at the table, drink his coffee, and stare at me but he always left when it was closing time.

One night, I was leaving the cafe after a long day at work and walked into the cafe parking lot with my eyes narrowed from the tiredness in my eyes as I walked to my car with my keys in my hands when I accidentally dropped them under the car I got down on my knees and reached under the car until I touched the car keys and pulled them from under the car. I smiled and rose to my feet and looked in the car window to see someone standing behind me. before I could turn around and cloth was placed over my nose and mouth and I suddenly felt dizzy until I passed out.

[The Underworld - Hades' Palace]

My head was hurting. I opened my blurry eyes and blinked until my eyes came into focus - I was no longer in the parking lot of the cafe. I wasn't even in the college dorm. I didn't know where I was! The room was luxurious but it was full of items that weren't from Brazil. Suddenly, the door opened and a boy with short black hair, ashy pale skin, one green eye, and one red & black eye, dressed in a red greek toga...and were his feet on fire? He looked at me before looking out into the hall and yelling out.

"Father! She's awake." The boy said before another figure walked into the room.

It was Hades but he looked different, his skin looked greyer and his eyes were black and red. He was dressed in a red and black toga with a skull on his shoulder and rings on his fingers.

"Ana. It's good to see that you are awake now." Hades said as he walked into the room and sat on the bed at the foot. I crawled away from him, eyes wide and throat dry.

"What's going on?! Where am I?! What are you doing here?!" I demanded to know.

"You are in the Underworld in my palace." You will be staying here with me and my son - Zagreus - from now on as a daughter of Hades." Hades explained but I just shook my head, "I know that this is a lot to take in but there is something you need to understand. You are mine now, you are my daughter and if you don't submit to me, I will bring misfortune on the family you share blood ties with." I looked at him with wide eyes and looked out the window, if I didn't stay with him, my family with suffer. I looked at him and nodded my head, he smirked at this, "Welcome home, Daughter."

[aris-ink]

[In taeyang singing meme voice]

Ari~, I miss you so muUuUch~

Im glad to hear you are doing good🐻, the other day a saw this video of how famous people always say therapy doesn't work for them and what actually helps them is focusing on their hobbies/work (like ariana grande or Taylor swift have said in some occasions) but the girl in the video explain that thats basically what therapy it's for, that they had the privilege for x reasons from a young age to develop and find a way/place where they can express themselves freely and deal with emotions in a healthy manner, which is one of the goals of therapy . Then reading your update and made me think of that, maybe I'm reaching Lmao but knowing you are thinking about writing it's honestly amazing, like finding the energy once again to do something you enjoy.( I'm not trying to asume anything, sorry if this message feels intrusive.)

I Also wish there was some way to get motivated instantly, I been neglecting my college work for two weeks now and Idk how to get on track again haha, will need some tips on how to stop procrastinating bc it's kind of addictive.

Anyway, I'm happy to hear from you❤️.

-😽

HI ANGEL <3 I missed you too! I'm so happy to hear from you 💕🫂

that's very interesting 🤔 art is definitely one of the best and healthiest ways to express yourself and work through your thoughts and emotions, I can't imagine what I would do without writing tbh 😭 but also I really think it depends on the kind of therapy you need? sometimes self expression is only a part of it. apart from talking about your problems (which can be done through art), therapy is also there to teach you how to cope with stress, with your disorders and illnesses, and live life to the fullest despite being sick, and that is what I am aiming for ❤️ of course everyone is different and it might not work the same way for different people ❤️ however, at this point in my life, after last year especially, I really don't know how to function like a healthy person anymore and I need to relearn everything LMAO 😭 so I'm happy with where I am now, and I'm glad I made this choice 💕 it's hard, but it's my only option 🥹

not at all! ❤️ nothing about this message is intrusive, you're always free to speak your thoughts and ask questions 🫂 thank you so much baby <3

I'm so sorry to hear about your college work, that sucks so much 😭 take it slow! idk how about you, but what kills my attempts at doing anything is perfectionism 💀 it feels like there is just no point doing a task if I can't complete all of it, or do it perfectly. don't listen to your brain if it ever does that, it's just being mean and lying to you 😭 take it little by little, and make sure to rest and eat well! I believe in you and I'm rooting for you, step by little step baby 💕

sending you so much love <3

[system-of-a-feather]

It is really wild how heavily my feelings towards possibly having a semi-normal semi-low stress semi-free life soon swings WILDLY between the normal and expected joy and excitement, and sheer depression and anxiety. It's part of the motions itself and it's the trauma speaking, but the idea of not having my childhood trauma placing strict psychological walls and limits of what I can and can't do just... in a weird way it seems almost miserably boring right now. Like literally 3 hours ago I was excited and relieved but now Im dreading it - and I'm pretty sure I'm still me, maybe I'm still fused with Data as well and its just me swinging between two dominant sides, I can't tell but good god the swings from relief, excitement, joy and just an existential crisis and sense that without the chronic stress and pressure and extremely rigid walls I've been living in if I would even still be me

Which is an anxiety thing, because obviously Ill still be me and obviously life will still suck and be stressful in its own ways, but man is the idea of being relatively free came out of left field and I've only had a month to really realize how close we are to it.

I'm honestly... kind of scared to be happy. I don't think I'm ready for it XD

Like straight up, I'm terrified of being happy and healing now that I'm at a huge threshold point in healing probably. Im just like

Wait wait

Wait no wait

Hold up slow down

I haven't thought about this decision genuinely beyond a theoretical haha thatd be nice but would never happen

And its at my front door

What do you mean Ill have OPTIONS in life other than survive

Im not ready for OPTIONS in life

God someone hide me I'm not ready to live and thrive jesus christ

Most graduating college students I feel have this anxiety around graduating because they have to live on their own, take on independence, and have to adult permanently on their own and that stress I'm good I love that I'm ready for that

But god damn does the freedom of not having to prepare for the next test every 3-4 weeks, the grind to do more and more, and then returning home and not having my own place - that shit, THAT shit scares the fuck out of me

Make me survive on $5 for food a day, fine I can make that work I'm used to and good at struggling and suffering. Give me a home and money that I make myself and let me live with my supportive and loving fiance and engage in my hobbies when I get the chance because I succeeded at immense cost at preparing for the work force?????????

Relaxing?! ENJOYING LIFE?! terrifying.

Like Im writing this satirically but its unironically the thing thats had me dysregulated for a fucking month. It's getting better and more manageable than before but good GOD have I never more understood the thing my therapist tried to get me to understand that "I have grown comfortable in my misery"

Like I don't want to stay in my current life style god no its not sustainable, but to get BETTER? To have a chance at something nice? Somehow right now that sounds scarier than the current life cause man, I know my misery. Even when my brain genuinely doesn't see this as a "waiting for second shoe to drop" the level of which I am so unfamiliar with existing in anything but a chronic trauma response state and the possibility that I might not be in a chronic trauma response state TERRIFIES me.

And Im really here going "Don't worry we still live in a dystopian capitalist society and life will still suck its okay" to ease my anxiety and good god

I fucking god PTSD man. Someone without PTSD aint like this man

-Riku

[stxinedpxges]

▹You will find something more in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters.

The school day was drawing to an end, a lull had settled in the classroom, the clock ticking seemed to get louder with each movement of the hands. His students stared at him blankly, all interest that had in the lesson waining as only a few minutes remained of the day, of the week and then they were free to enjoy their weekends unburdened by the need to learn in a stuffy classroom. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, drawing his attention away from the board. He ignored it, he couldn't exactly ask his students not to use their phones and then get his out, even if there was only a few minutes left. He finished writing the assignment up and then turned to the class. ❝And the moment you've all been waiting for, class is dismissed. Assignment is due in two weeks and I you have any questions, you know where to find me ❞

The classroom filled with murmurs and the sound of chairs scrapping agains the floor as the classroom slowly shuffled out, eager to be free from the college if only for the weekend. Devin let out a sigh and returned to his desk, organising the mess that had accumulated throughout the day. It was a habit, he'd finish the day tidying up his mess and swear to himself that he'd not let it get so out of hand but at the end of the next day he'd be doing it all over again. As he shuffled his papers into a more presentable stack he remembered his phone had buzzed earlier and he had yet to check his messages. Discarding all thoughts of tidying up, Devin flopped into his chair and pulled out his phone. He was expecting a text from a friend, maybe his sister or some kind of promotional spam but his brows furrowed at the notification from a blocked number.

He opened the message, curiosity would never allow him to ignore something like this and was surprised by the invitation that now flashed onto his screen.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 . . . presented by...

He read the first part out loud, but the information on who was hosting was missing and only added another question to the many that where forming in his mind. He read on, his voice echoing around the empty classroom.

 ❛ come celebrate with us on the TWENTIETH OF JUNE as we welcome the 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞. follow the lit path into the woods at 4:50PM to the bonfire in the clearing. there will be vendors, food, and drink provided. music, fun, celebration, and prayer for the better, warmer, and longer days ahead. this is a private invitation. join us. ❜

His curiosity turned to a feeling he couldn't describe. Intrigue? Unease? Both perhaps?.The words themselves held no ill meaning, it was a pleasant invitation that in any other situation wouldn't even raise eyebrows or questions. But this was Helltown and nothing here went without a questioning look, nothing here was done without a reason. He stared at the screen, reading and rereading the message the words soon memorised so he know longer had to look at the text, yet he couldn't take his eyes away. This wasn't being held by the town, he could deduce that much by the anonymity but any clues as to who was organising it were not inherently obvious. In terms of the private invitation part, that had baffled him more than the invite itself. Why had they invited him?

Whatever the reasoning behind him receiving an invite, whoever had orchestrated this, Devin knew the answers may be at the event itself. He's spent months investigating on the side, deep in town history and books as he tried to answer the questions that haunted the town. But could it really be as simple as joining whomever it was, in the woods, to celebrate the solstice?

[it-was-summer]

Kiss Me Once...Kiss Me Twice (18! Five x Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yes! I’ve been away for so long and college has got me in chokehold so I really hope you all forgive me as I get around to your request! The two of you are 18 in this fic, just to specify)

Plot: Hi! Me again, so soon I know. Hope you won't get annoyed by my requests but its the end of semester and I kinda take anything I can get to keep me sane around this time.I am very partial to Cinderella AUs. I read them, i write them. They're just my favorite thing ever especially with different types of characters that are very different to the Canon.So I was wondering, could you maybe write one with Five and Reader? It doesn't have to be exactly to the movies plot and the characterization would obviously be loyal to the shows. It could be a modern "fits with Canon verse" AU where Five and Reader fall in love and Reader loses something and Five gets it back to her. Or it could be historical/fantasy AU (i would lowkey prefer if you did this one) like the movie where the Hargreeves are royals and Five is a prince who meets Reader and then they fall in love but he has to find her somehow after the ball. I'm not picky at all whichever version you choose as long as it's a general Cinderella AU (with a dash of nosy Hargreeves chaos) and I'm sure you'll do it justice.I may or may not have a couple more requests but I'll only send them in if you're feeling up to them. For now just this is enough and feel free to take your time.Thank you so much in advance! 😊❤️ @oceanspray5​

Word Count: 10,234, I uhhhh went a little crazy, this took up 23 pages in my google docs!

Heads turned in awe, in awe of the beauty, for the crowd had never seen a more handsome couple. Two masks covered their identities, but anyone could look into their eyes and see; see the love they shared for one another. Hands laying over each other as they whisked each other gracefully to the dance floor, their smiles illuminated the room as they danced.

Everyone always talked about that night, talked about how in love they were; your parents. You knew they were in love in a less glamorous way, a less fairytale way. Your father would be walking by the garden, stopping to steal a glance at your mother, as she tended to the garden. You noticed how your mother, even in the worst of moods, always smiled around your father. Their relationship taught you to love and how to be kind, but it also taught you sorrow.

Around age ten is when tragedy struck, your mother had fallen ill one day.  She laid in bed for weeks, chills passing through her constantly, her body growing weaker and weaker with every passing day. At first, your mother didn’t want you to see her condition, she wanted her only daughter to be filled with happiness, but in the end, she let you see her.

Tears distorted your vision as you looked down at her pale figure, missing the glow it had meer months ago. She showed you her best smile, head swimming with things to say, she couldn’t exactly choose her last words for you. Your mother grabbed your hand, pulling you closer. “Darling,” her voice was weak, but still so full of love. “Can you remember something for me?”

Your head nodded instantly, tears shaking loose from your eyes quickly. She gave you another weak smile, finding the energy to let out a laugh. “Good,” her hand slipped for a second, “I want you to remember the golden rules.”

“The golden rules,” you repeated, you knew what they were, there were three.

“Can you tell me the golden rules?”

“Yes,” you held her hand tighter as it slipped down further. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, have courage, and be kind.” you finished, watching a pained smile grow on your mother’s face. She let out a tiny gasp, trying to breathe through her pain, her hand squeezing yours.

“Good,” she gasped, relaxing a little in the bed. “I want you to remember those rules, even if I’m not here to remind you.”

You felt her grip weaken, your father pulled you away from her as you sobbed, pushing you out of the room quickly as your mother slowly died.

It had been eight years since then, and thankfully your sorrow was replaced with the bittersweet feeling of acceptance. You remembered the rules, you remembered your mother, and you created new memories with your father and the cottage.

The sun was shining brightly onto the cottage, rising above the peaks of the roof carefully, dew dripping off of the grass slowly. It was summer and the world was saying a beautiful ‘hello’. Staring out the narrow stone window, you spotted him, your father. Excitement became you as you moved off of your bed, running around the cottage till you got out the front door, running out to meet him.

Your father halted the horse he was riding, sliding off the seat with a small grunt, a smile decorating his face at the sight of you. You were a young woman, beautiful like your mother, and if he was being honest, it was terrifying to see so much of her in you.  

“Father,” laughter escaped you as he wrapped his arms around you “You’re home early.”

He pulled away, walking over to his saddlebag “Since when is this a problem?” he joked kindly, earning a shrug from you. “I have some news for you,” he pulled an item from his bag and then ushered you inside quickly “My dear, I’ve fallen in love.”

“In love?”

“Yes, she’s a lovely woman, with two lovely daughters and I’m going to marry her.”

“Oh,” you let the initial shock settle over you as you stared up at him “I’m so happy for you, Papa!”

You could see the way his eyes lit up upon hearing your acceptance and yet you felt a tugging sensation in your gut, you were sure it was nerves. They had to be since your father-- the trustworthy man he is-- said that these women were lovely, you were sure that they were just that, lovely.

They were not. Elinor was the youngest and the kinder of the three. She never did anything vile, but she also never did anything to stop their torment. Jane was the eldest daughter, beautiful and deadly-- similar to a belladonna flower-- if looks could kill, you would drop dead. Then there was the Baroness, Constance of Blodwell, a cruel woman. They say that the dearly departed Baron died of natural causes, but you wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying.

When they first arrived Father kissed her hand, bought the sisters imported silks and threw uncharacteristically loud parties. He seemed so happy, so who were you to judge his happiness? If he wanted to buy silks, let him buy silks. If he wanted to throw loud parties, then he shall throw loud parties, and you? You would bite your tongue and smile at him. You could tell him to be safe and that you loved him.

During the day the Baroness would watch you read on the windowsill as she played with her needlepoint, setting it down to say “A young lady shouldn’t read so much, it will fill her head with silly nonsense, confuse her.”

You told her you agreed but found needlework wasn’t your strong suit and she would let out a huff, and that is where the conversation would end for the hour.

It started as small things. The Baroness found your boyish antics disgusting, so you were taught to be more ladylike. Jane would blame you for messing with the piano as she hit broken keys over and over again. Elinor would stare, smile at you, and drink her tea. Your father was away, working harder than ever to provide for his suddenly large family of young women.

~~

It was no secret to the royal family that they were strange. Five was a little convinced every family had some deep-rooted issues. As is tradition, the mages ruled over the kingdom; protecting the people and possessing incredible powers of all kinds.

His siblings, mostly married off to other obscenely powerful families, all possessed powers. Vanya was a late-bloomer, but the musicians helped her powers reach their full potential. He could go down the list, but thinking about the others was somewhat exhausting, but it did let his mind escape elsewhere as he sat in another council meeting with his father.

He was listening, hearing talk of peace and plans for the upcoming fall harvest and other important things. He could feel his father’s eyes on him, on the crown prince, how becoming. Five turned his head, raising an eyebrow at his father as he was greeted with the usual frown, great so he didn’t miss anything.

As men and women bid their farewells, Five was left alone with the servants and King Reginald Hargreeves. “You weren’t listening during today’s meeting,”

“Yes, I was,”

“Don’t lie to me,”

“I was only thinking of the dear siblings and their wellbeing, all good things.”

His father’s frown somehow deepened before he shook his head “Five, you’re crown prince because I made you crown prince, do you know why?”

“It’s fun to make me miserable?”

“It’s because you know how hard it is to have responsibilities, I expect you to be better than them.” And with that, he walks out of the room. Better than them? All of them? It seemed a little bit much for an eighteen-year-old, but he guessed that being a crown prince was all about having the burden of trying to outshine the stars.

~~

It was just before dawn, the sky was turning a beautiful indigo, sleep evading you as you waited outside the cottage. Your father was away once more and was due yesterday, but he never showed. Horrible knots twisted against the walls of your stomach, ruining your appetite. You had a horrible feeling that he wasn’t coming home. That he wasn’t going to come back from London. The knots gave way as you heard the sound of hooves beating against the gravel. You peer through the early morning catching his eyes in a moment of pure bliss. He was okay and you could breathe again.

He was paler than usual, the sick shade of exhaustion mixed with the summer heat. In the sitting room, Jane was fretting over one of her newer dresses that had a gold appliqué on the trim and Elinor was nodding along wordlessly. Father was holding Constance’s hand and her eyes seemed tender for the first time in months.

You were sitting there, watching them with a smile. Constance was no mother to you, nor was she a friend but she seemed to love your father, or at least care about him deeply.

He spent the next week recovering, to which he seemed well enough by the end of the week and then he was off again. The whole family stood outside in the early morning, Constance whispering something in your father’s ear, earning her a smile before he turned to you with open arms. “You shouldn’t be working, you’re still sick.” You muttered into his shoulder with a frown.

“I know, but this job is big and I can’t afford to pass it by,”

“Will I see you next week?”

“Yes,”

“Okay,” you said, pulling away reluctantly from his embrace. You watched as he straddled his saddle and smiled up at him as he started to make his way out. Your eyes didn’t leave him, and maybe that’s why you were the first to scream when you saw him fall off. “Papa!”

Your legs moved on their own, running out to him, being followed closely behind by Constance as she screamed his name in sobs, and just like that he was gone. You watched as they lowered his body into the ground, dressed in black from head to toe in the middle of a July afternoon.

~~

Five didn’t enjoy getting in trouble, because if he could just stop himself from getting caught he wouldn’t be in trouble. Sure, with a flash of blue he could be out of the room or out of the palace, but eventually, he would come back. He was the crown prince after all and with no money on the run, where would he go? He would be recognized immediately and in the end, it would all be useless. So here he was, getting yelled at by his father again.

After an hour-long lecture from his father he was left alone once again and against his better judgment, as soon as he was left alone, he left the palace again. Blue flashes lit up the woods for a second and then they were gone and Five was standing in the middle of a quiet forest. He didn’t like to leave the palace to visit brothels or to go into town to see how the commonwealth lived, he just wanted some time alone.

From the moment he woke up it was Five this or Five that, meetings, classes, or lectures. He just needed a break from it all, he needed a break from the responsibilities, no matter the repercussions.

Five drew in a deep breath, smiling as the smell of fresh pine and earth filled his senses. The sounds of a nearby creek drew his attention, his feet following the sound till he stood at the bank. The child in him was eager to jump in and splash about, most likely getting his clothes absolutely soaked in the process, but the adult inside of him screamed that it was a bad idea. Instead, he simply sat on the loose gravel near the bank and watched as the water rushed by at a slow pace.

~~

It had been a little over a month since your father passed, and what a hard month it had been. The baroness had you change rooms, moving you into the cold, dusty, damp, dark attic. When it rained little drops of water would splash on your brows and leave you awake for hours on end.

A humble voice deep inside whispered ‘you should be grateful’ and the fire that raged right next to it roared to fight back, so you simply did nothing. You were obedient, calm in every scenario. If she wanted you to scrub the floors, you scrubbed. There wasn’t a day that went by where she wasn’t asking you to do something.

So you couldn’t comprehend why you were sneaking out like this, in a clean dress and basket filled to the brim with cheese, bread, and fruits. You were supposed to be good, good for your mother, and good for your father. Well, that woman wasn’t your mother anyway so what was the point?

Your pace slowed as you thought about the consequences. Would she throw you out? She was the lady of the house, she had all the power. You were of age, but with no marriage, no prospects, and no money, what good would being homeless do? You turned your head back towards the cottage for a second before you set off towards the creek. This was just a short break after all.

You didn’t initially see him until your feet were already in the water, and the hem of the dress was considerably soaked. His eyes grew wide at the sight of you, his mouth moving in a thousand different shapes before he finally got some words out from those pretty lips, “Who are you?”

“I’m,” you paused, you didn’t know this man, was it smart to give him your name? “I’m Ella!” You practically shouted back in response, earning a small wince from the boy in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, his eyes glancing down at your feet before quickly darting back up to meet yours.

“Do you own the river?”

“Well,” he trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip with worry.

“Well?”

“Well, no.”

“Perfect, then I am soaking my feet.”

“Why?”

You laughed gently and kicked up some water at him, “Because it’s fun.” you replied softly, stepping away from him quickly. “Why are you here?”

“Why are you asking?” he challenged, jumping as a few drops of water hit his pants.

“You asked me.”

“Oh, right,” he said, eyeing the basket in your hands, feeling his mouth water as a small slice of cheese peaked through the cloth atop of the basket. “Well, I suppose I’m just here for fun. The same as you.”

“Right,” you replied with a gentle chuckle as you stepped out of the creek, a pleasant breeze moved through your hair as you looked back over towards the boy. “The thing is, you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise before coming together in a judgemental glare, “And how would you know if I’m having fun?”

You eyed him up and down with a playful smirk at your lips, “You have the face of someone who lights up when they’re truly enjoying themselves.”

His face relaxed at that and a small smile stretched across his face gracefully, small butterflies ate away at your insides when you saw that smile. You should’ve known then. “So,” you quickly interrupted the moment “Do you have a name, or are you a nameless spirit?”

“I have a name!”

“Wonderful, mind if I learn it?”

His eyes searched the waters, earning a smile from you as you realized he was probably going to do the same thing as you did. “It’s Phillip,” he lied lamely, his body betrayed him, almost yelling at him for telling the lie, but you still accepted it.

“Lovely, are you hungry?”

Five was playing with the ends of the blanket beneath him, wondering silently how he ended up here, sitting next to a pretty girl as you talked about what you liked most about the Summertime. He smiled hearing your laugh, a sweet melody that made the world just a little brighter.

He watched you as you pulled a small piece of bread off of the loaf, finding himself watching as you popped it into your mouth, eyes catching on your lips for a second before he ripped them away.

Five felt his knees go weak at a romantic thought, he wasn’t supposed to have romantic thoughts, he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Well, he never thought romance could be on the table, not like this. He knew that he was setting himself up for failure by having feelings for you, and he wouldn’t dare call them that, he was just feeling… infatuation, yes!

It was infatuation, of course! The kind of thing that makes princes fall to commoner and the thing that made kings go to war, but Five wasn’t going to be a tragic tale. However, what was the harm in indulging in a small little crush?

“Phillip?” The fake name made his head turn.

“Yes, Ella?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I, uh, no.”

“I was saying that we should be friends,” you explained with a nervous smile, Five couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face.

“Friends?”

“I mean if you don’t want to, I understand!”

“No,” he all but yelled, clearing his throat quickly as he shook his head, “No, I would love to be your friend.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said, placing a hand over yours, trying to ignore the electricity that was tingling at his fingertips.

“Oh,” you looked at your hands and let out another nervous laugh, a lump rising into your throat as you let out a strangled “Lovely.”

“Yes, lovely,” he repeated as your eyes met his for a moment. Five didn’t feel like himself for a moment, it was as if he was watching the scene unfold from across the creek. Your eyes were wide and were glued to his as you opened your mouth quickly to speak, to say anything.

Against his will, he slowly moved his hand away from yours, missing the heat instantly as he stood up slowly, brushing himself off. “I should be getting back,” he muttered.

You heard yourself say something along the lines of ‘yes’ and ‘of course’ as he walked away, throwing a small smile over his shoulder before he disappeared into the bush.

~~

Five’s heart was racing when he blimped back into his room, the teleportation never took a toll on him, he was fine, so why was he finding it so hard to breathe? It was a terrible feeling of restlessness that consumed him as soon as he calmed down.

He wanted to go out. He wanted to walk by the creek. He wanted to see you again, god he burned to see you again. He flexed his hand gently, trying to ignore the sensation that lingered against his palm.

He was pacing now, thinking, muttering, and sighing heavily. He was apathetic, for the most part snarky, but overall very solid. He didn’t need people prying into how he was feeling and he didn’t want to explain his feelings to people, but today might be the first day that his hard exterior is experiencing a little crack.

He jumped hearing a knock on his door, “His Majesty wishes to see you,” there was a pause “Now.”

Right, right, right, his father would never approve of anything as frivolous as his feelings. “Be right there,” he called back to the servant at the door as he stole a look in the mirror, looking for evidence that would place him in the woods. Evidence that would point to you. Once he was clear he set out for the throne room.

“Five,” his father said, a foreign smile making an appearance, “I have something to tell you.”

Five stepped forward, the giddiness that he had in his room leaving him as he got closer. He didn’t like that face, that smile on his twisted father’s face. It never meant anything good, all signs pointed to doom. “You’re going to get married.”

“Pardon me?”

“Well, you’re not getting married right now, but there is going to be a masquerade ball. You’ll be able to choose your bride, of course. She’ll need to be special to be able to handle you, of course.”

“Of course, and how am I going to find her? Dance with every maiden in the kingdom?”

“How wonderful, you already have a plan! We shall send invitations out to every maiden in the kingdom!”

With that he left the room, leaving Five buzzing with questions and anxiety as he stared at the throne silently. He was trained to be king, he did well in all of his classes, he was well educated, but the thought of having a queen was terrifying. It all seemed to be moving too fast.

The only silver lining was the hope that you would be there in the ballroom, A friend, an ally, maybe? Then a small voice seemed to whisper, to hope, a queen.

~~

Your feet were sore, horribly sore. Yesterday, the baroness noticed your absence and has since then forced you to clean the kitchen, spilling lentils and flour purposefully as she came by to check up on your progress. Eventually, it was done, but now you hurt. Elinor offered you biscuits in the morning but you felt too nauseated to stomach anything.

The only things on your mind were your pain and Phillip, or rather your mystery man by the creek. You caught yourself zoning out, thinking about him, wishing to see him, to visit him. You wondered if he was waiting for you by the creek. You hoped he would come back despite your absence, you hoped he would touch your hand again and you hoped his eyes would linger on your lips for a minute too long.

Hoping was the only thing that was draining out Constance’s shirl voice as she yelled at some of the servants, going on about how there was dust on a frame somewhere and how unseemly dirt was. The first thing she told you when you had come back from the creek was that you were dirty, then she proceeded to lecture you on how cleanliness was close to godliness. A proper lady must never be dirty.

You jumped in surprise hearing a distinct rapping against the front door, for a second you hoped it was Phillip as you went to answer it. “Invitations to the ladies of the house, The Baroness Constance of Blodwell and her three daughters, Jane, Elinor, and…”

“I just have two daughters, sir.” The baroness cut him off as he handed her the four invitations, with a shocked look on his face. You looked over at her, wondering when she had paused her lecture to greet the gentleman at the door. You watched as she read the invitations with hungry eyes, gasping sharply as she pulled a hand over her chest. “Oh, oh,”

“What is it? What are the invitations for?” Jane demanded quickly, bouncing on the soles of her feet like a child next to her mother, an act she would be reprimanded for later.

“It’s for a royal ball, for the crown prince. He’s choosing a bride!” Constance said with glee, handing two invitations to her daughter, your’s still residing in her hand as she shut the door on the messenger boy.

“A bride!” Jane parroted the word with a squeal, while you disliked her it was wonderful to see her so overjoyed. A sudden thought entered your brain, Phillip could be at the ball, it was for the whole kingdom, maybe he had a sister or he would be invited!

“Does Y/N have an invitation too, mother?” Elinor asked, looking up from her’s with an endearing smile. You wished she hadn’t asked, you could tell what was coming next. Constance frowned as she looked at your invitation, your name is written in the same ink that her daughters were written in. She considered it for a moment before tearing the invitation to shreds.

A quiet scream caught in your throat as you reached out to stop her, “Don’t touch me, girl!” she screamed at you as the paper fell to the ground. “You’re barely my daughter, after all, you get along better with the servants, so you will be treated like one!”

“But, I…”

“Did I say you could speak about the matter? No, now we need to make preparations for the ball tonight!” she burst at the seams with a variety of emotions, settling on hope. Hoping that one of her daughters would win the Prince’s heart and become queen.

You were still her daughter, she was all you had. You knew that she would never be your mother nor would she be your father, but she was something. She was the last thing you had, the last connection. “How can you be so cruel?” you felt the words spill out as she turned to look down at you.

“I’m not cruel, I’m saving you from rejection, my dear,” she said, reaching out her hand to graze your cheek. “Clean.” she looked down at the parchment on the ground with a smile before she was walking away.

Jane had a purple dress decorated with gold appliqué, muttering about how she was going as a masked royal because she was sure she would soon be one anyway, while Elinor had a pale blue dress with white appliqué, and Constance was wearing red, and you were wearing rags. They had come and gone, leaving you to cry with the shredded parchment in the attic.

A soft knocking forced you to dry your eyes quickly, “Come in,” you stood up from your bed when the head maid, Elizabeth, entered.

“Hello,”

“Hello,”

“I, well, we have something for you,” she said, a giddy smile from her made your heart squeeze with joy. She motioned behind her and up came more maids, holding a white and gold gown, the material looked soft to touch and elegant. Another maid produced a matching gold and cream mask, the more you looked at it you realized it was a swan, or rather it was a mask for a swan.  It looked eerily familiar, but you couldn’t place your finger on it.

“Oh, oh my,” you cried as you reached out to touch the hem, “It’s beautiful,” you whispered as they looked at you. You could see a pair of shoes in one of their hands, you turned to Elizabeth quickly. “I won’t make it there in time!”

“My dear, do you think we would make you walk? I asked Henry, my husband, to bring a carriage. You need not worry, we have everything for you.”

You felt small tears of joy prick at your eyes “Thank you, thank you.” you repeated quickly as the women surrounded you and helped you get ready for the ball.

~~

Five was staring at himself in the mirror with a frown on his face, the cream color of his coat didn’t suit him, and this collar, disgustingly baby blue was choking him slowly. The bottom of his coat had a small trim of blue as well, and at a closer glance, he could see that his coat had a light gold detail, the royal insignia, and other symbols decorating it beautifully. It just wasn’t for him. In all honesty, it fit him quite well, the occasion just wasn’t to his liking. He didn’t like the idea of walking around with a bunch of masked strangers who were either trying to marry him or trying to make him marry their child.

Nonetheless, at this point fighting with his father would be useless. The damage had been done, people were arriving and he was expected to smile and dance. Five burned his gaze into the mirror, moving a hand up to his hair and messed with its carefully styled beauty before he turned on his heel and headed out towards the ballroom.

~~

With the help of the maids, you were quickly dressed and adorned with white jewels on your neck and ears. The mirror looked like a mirage as you stared yourself down, nothing seemed real. It was already a splendid dream and as you stepped into the carriage the dream began to blend with reality.

Having arrived only a quarter late to the ball, slipping in was easy, it was the stares that made it difficult to calm down. Every step, every sound you made, caused people’s heads to turn as if they were waiting for you. You were excited to be at the ball, but now it was a matter of finding a purpose. Did you only want to come to be included? It had to be because with all these eyes staring you down you wanted nothing more than to turn around and go home.

You took in a gentle breath and closed your eyes, thinking about how Elizabeth told you to have fun and how she whispered how beautiful you looked. Finding solace in the memory, you joined the outer circle of the dance floor, watching as a woman dressed as a peacock spun about the dance floor.

A smile crept its way onto your lips as you watched them, something about the way she laughed as she twirled made you giddy. It was as if the atmosphere had completely changed because of the woman's dazzling smile, a smile that made the world smile back at her.

The man, however, had a strange sense of familiarity to him. Something about the broadness of his shoulders, the brunette color of his hair, and the way his smile never seemed to stay too long on his face all seemed familiar to you. ‘That must be the crown prince’ you thought with a tiny nod, it had to be because this was his ball after all and he was looking for a bride.

The violins soon disappeared, followed by the horns, till the only sound to be heard was the sounds of people clapping as the two split apart. You moved to find a drink, or perhaps a corner in which you could cling to and avoid getting seen. Your feet had other ideas as you stepped on the long hem of your dress, flying towards the ground.

You squeezed your eyes tight waiting for the floor to make contact, but with a muted flash of blue, you felt arms hold you up instead. You peeked one eye open, opening both in surprise to see the golden mask of the crown prince inches from your face. “I’m so sorry, sir.” You gasped as you used his shoulders to stabilize yourself quickly, having the intention to get as far away from him as possible, as soon as he let you go.

His lips opened for a moment before he closed them and swallowed hard. If you didn’t know any better you would say that he seemed just as surprised as you were. Which was a ridiculous idea to even venture, so you pushed it to the back of your mind as fast as possible. “Sir,” you stuttered softly, “Your royal highness, sir, you’re still holding my waist.”

“Oh,” he muttered gently, grip not releasing for a moment before he let out a gasp and exclaimed another “Oh!” as he let go of your waist quickly. You smiled at him, reaching up to adjust your mask swiftly before the prince was holding a hand towards you. You looked at his hand for a second too long, about to question him before he asked “Will you dance with me?”

“Oh,” you whispered as you laid your hand on top of his “I’m not that good, sir.”

“That’s fine,” he said as he led you to the middle of the floor “I’ll lead, all you have to do is follow.”

“Right, follow,” you repeated as the violins began to play a sweet and delicate melody. Your head turned down to watch the Prince’s feet, dreading the idea of stepping on the foot of the future monarch. You heard a laugh as you danced with your head down and before you knew it a gentle hand was moving your chin up.

“You’re supposed to look up,” he laughed again and you could feel your cheeks flush beneath your mask. He stole a glance at the other couples joining the two of you on the dance floor, surrounded the two of you pleasantly, and then he looked into your eyes again. “Spin for me,” he told you and you followed his orders quickly.

When the two of you were face to face again, you gasped quickly as he dipped you with the rest of the crowd of dancers, your hands holding onto his shoulders tight as you felt your loose hair graze the floor. “Relax,” he laughed as the two of you danced “What’s your name?”

You peeked at the floor, looking for his shoes for a second before he cleared his throat gently to give you the silent message to look up. “Well, I’m not supposed to be here,” you let out a nervous chuckle “So, I’m not sure I should tell you my name.”

“You’re not supposed to be here? My father sent you an invitation, didn't he? Isn't that enough to prove that you deserve to be here tonight?”

“I suppose, sir, but my family wished for me to stay at home.”

“So why did you come?”

You faltered for a moment, letting out a slow sigh “I came because I wanted to be included, I suppose. I wanted to experience something for once,” you looked up at him with a sad smile “I just wanted to have fun.”

The prince let out a pleasant hum, reminding you of someone that you had yet to spot amongst the crowd. You gasped as you tapped on his shoulder with excitement “I’m looking for a friend,” you chattered about quickly “His name is Philip, do you know him by any chance?”

The prince’s eyes became wide for a second, staring at you with a shocked expression. You didn’t know if you said something offensive or crude, but his dancing pace slowed as his breathing became quick. “Your majesty, are you alright?” you asked as the two of you slowed to a stop as couples danced around the two of you.

“Ella?” he whispered, his hand squeezing yours tight. Hearing him say that name made everything click for you and then the dance floor began to spin. You struggled to release your hand from his. Philip was the crown prince, and you were dancing with him and you had been so casual with him, that was worth some kind of punishment. You inhaled sharply as his grip became tighter around your waist, stopping all your struggling before you stared up into his eyes, waiting for him to speak.

But, he said nothing. He just stared down at you, staring into your eyes as you stayed in his arms breathless. “Philip, dance,” you said quickly as some of the other couple’s started to stop and stare at the two of you and with that, he started moving again.

Your senses were heightened now, your anxiety playing a role in the dance as you felt his hand squeeze your side nervously and how his fingers itched to be intertwined with yours. He swallowed nervously as the two of you danced to the swelling violins, “Please don’t call me Philip,” he whispered in a meek tone “It’s Five,”

You bit back a snarky comment and nodded slowly “Right,”

“Ella, listen,”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. “I lied too, that, and you look at your feet when you’re lying.”

Five smiled at that before letting out a strained breath, “I can’t trust that, liar.” he teased as he let go of your hand to move a strand of hair out from your face. The violins were slowing down now, but you weren’t ready yet, you found a new purpose and you didn’t want to leave him just yet. Just a little longer, a voice inside of you screamed, you just needed more time.

“Is there any way we can go somewhere else?” you asked in a hushed voice as you bowed into a curtsey.

“Meet me in the garden,”

“How are you going to find a way out?”

“By causing a scene, of course,” he grinned as you took a few steps back before turning around and heading for the garden.

Cause a scene he did, he walked over to his father, spilled red wine down the front of his shirt before knocking over a candelabra in the process, almost setting a tablecloth on fire. Earning just enough commotion to cause a crowd that would swarm his father, and then he was on his way out.

You were sitting on the edge of a fountain, the lavish lights from inside illuminated the water, vines gripped its base and crept up the sides, and having seen you sitting on its edge, Five swore that you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

When you heard his footsteps get closer, your head snapped away from the shining waters and towards him. You hesitated for a second before you graced him with a kind smile, reaching up slowly to pull down your mask. He knew what you looked like, and no one was around to tell your stepmother that you were here.

Five started a second too long before he started to scramble to take off his mask, laughter built up in your throat and released at a pleasant volume. The two of you stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few seconds before Five cleared his throat. “You look lovely this evening,”

“Well, I did want to look nice for a prince.” you teased in a tone that made Five’s insides turn into honey. You covered your mouth in a poor attempt to hide your growing grin as you watched his eyes grow wide and cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“Right,” he stuttered out as he sat a safe distance from you on the cement edge of the fountain. He suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. Did he say that he’s been thinking about you since yesterday? Did he tell you that this feeling was new to him? Did that sound like a confession? That most definitely sounded like a confession.

“You look,” you paused, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him “Stressed,”

“What? No, no, no,” his eyes looked towards the night sky, his head falling back as he let out a sigh “When I was told that I would be choosing a bride tonight I never thought I would be able to see you again, and yet, here you are,” his head fell back down to earth to look at you “And you just look so lovely and I just think I’m a little overwhelmed.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, knees going weak as you crossed your legs silently. Sure, he had already complimented you once, but when it sounded so sincere, and when he was looking at you like that how could you not blush? “You look rather dashing yourself,” you beamed at him, taking pride in the fact that he was smiling over at you.

“Why thank you, now may I tell you a secret?” Five whispered as he leaned towards you. Your heartbeat raced as you leaned towards him, nodding ‘yes’ quickly. “I just had the most horrid dance partner,” he whispered out with a grin.

You gasped quickly, swatting at his arm as you laughed, “I was not horrid,” you laughed, swaying gently with your laughter, getting dangerously close to falling into the fountain as you giggled. Five reached up to steady you as he laughed with you, his hands on your shoulders sliding down to meet yours and then he let them stay there as the laughter died down.

“Can I ask something of you?” he whispered as he leaned forward.

Your heart leapt dangerously in your chest, knowing how dangerous saying a simple ‘yes’ could be, but you still nodded slowly and said “Yes,”

“I know that we just met and this is completely irrational, but I just light on fire when I’m near you,” he gasped out, hands gripping yours tighter with anxiety. You gave his hands a tiny squeeze and gave him a sinfully gorgeous smile. “I wanted to know if I could,” he trailed off, thumbs tapping against yours nervously.

“Yes?” you urged him gently, fighting back a giddy giggle as he tapped his thumbs against yours, it was nice to see him so nervous, or rather, it was endearing to see him like this.

“I was wondering if it would be okay if I kissed you?”

You felt yourself falter, all alarms in your head screaming something important but they were quickly muffled by something more intense, a giddy haze washing over you. You knew that it would be disastrous to kiss him, if someone saw you two in the middle of the garden they would have a fit, they would exclaim that the prince had found a princess. It wasn’t a good idea, kissing him, but everything in your body burned to kiss him. “You can kiss me,” you replied in a rather confident voice that you didn’t seem to recognize.

He leaned in, a mere inches away from your face, a shaking hand reached up to hold the left side of your cheek as the other held your hand tight. “Are you sure?”

“You’re leaning in aren’t you?”

“Right, well, if you don’t want to,”

“Five,”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me, please,”

“Okay,” he squeaked as he closed his eyes and closed the gap between the two of you, a gentle kiss hitting your lips. You kissed back slowly, eyes fluttering closed as you reached up your free hand to grab hold of the wrist that was cradling your face. You felt the gentleness of the kiss transform into something deeper, lips pushing against yours with a sudden fire.

You were about to kiss him back with the same burning passion as he pulled away, almost as if he surprised himself. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“I just got a little carried away,” he muttered sweetly, whenever he spoke his lips would brush against yours in an intoxicating way. So intoxicating it made your mind fuzzy. You smiled sweetly, a sudden feeling of peace washing over you as the two of you stayed this way for a minute or two.

After many soft caresses against your face and small jokes made inches apart, the two of you pulled away from each other with wide smiles.

“You did get quite carried away,” a voice echoed into the garden. Five jumped away from you at an alarming speed, standing up at the sound of his father’s voice from across the garden. “You’re just lucky that no one can see this little display,”

He seemed surprisingly at ease with this, he didn’t look mad, or disappointed, just slightly amused. “I’m glad you at least found a bride,”

“Bride?” you croaked back, anxiety settling in as you stared up at Five.

“Father, we haven’t discussed that,”

“Well, I sure hope you do, in the meantime I shall go inside and announce the news.” Reginald turned on his heel and headed back towards the ballroom. Five felt his feet stutter, he wanted to run after his father but the sound of your voice made him stop to look over at you.

“I can’t be queen,”

“Ella,” he rushed to your side in a panic. You looked up at him with sharp eyes, chest heaving up and down at a rapid pace as you tried your hardest to calm down.

“My name isn’t even Ella!” you yelled in response to the name, standing up to pace in front of him, absentmindedly chewing on your fingernails as you tried to think. Think about how anyone could view you as capable of being queen. It was impossible, that just wasn’t reality.

“Just calm down, we can talk about this,”  Five grabbed your hands, pulling them down from your face and holding them in his own.

You shuddered at his touch and if you weren’t panicking you were sure you’d be relishing in the way his hands felt so soft. Five’s hands moved to cup your face, those soft hands brushed sweet circles on your cheeks. Those sweet movements made your legs turn to jelly, forcing you to let out a slow breath. “Five, I can’t, in good conscience, be queen.”

“Why not?” Five questioned, surprising himself at his words. He didn’t even think about it before he said it. He felt stupid all of a sudden, the silence only confirming his fears, his heart dropped into his stomach as he stared into your eyes. He didn’t know how to read you.

You felt your bottom lip quiver, you didn’t want to cry in front of him. “Five, you don’t even know my real name.”

“Then tell me it, tell me everything about you, I’ve never felt like this before.” He was speaking from the heart for once in his life and he didn’t want to stop. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that his father had been there to ruin their romantic evening, but all he knew was that if he could feel like this for the rest of his life, he would be happy. It was a foreign concept for someone like him and his siblings, oh his siblings would love you, god he wanted you to be with him so bad it hurt.

You shook your head slowly as you pulled his hands away from your face and let them drop sadly. “I can’t, it’s not right.”

Not right? Five let those words roll around in his brain, staring dumbly at you as tears glistened in your eyes. Why were you crying? Then you turned and ran from him, it took him a second to follow you, still recovering from your words. He didn’t have time to wonder or time to pity himself, he had to catch up to you. He had to find you, but by the time he made it to the steps of the palace you were getting into a carriage and he knew he wouldn’t be able to catch you in time.

“You know you could just teleport,” Reginald said from the top of the steps.

“What’s the use if she doesn’t want me?”

“I know I’m not the most affectionate,” he paused, eyes landing on a shoe near the bottom of the steps “In fact, I’m not a very loving father at all, but I know what love is. I loved your mother and I love you and your siblings. I know you can’t see it but I do, so trust me when I tell you this,” He placed a hand on Five’s shoulder slowly, “Don’t let her go.”

~~

You were busy stuffing the dress, mask, and a single shoe into a chest. You had cried on the carriage ride home and only stopped when you finally felt a little numb. That numb feeling was replaced by fear as soon as you heard the booming voices of your step-siblings enter the house. Sleep, you could pretend to be asleep, it was as easy as that!

Elinor knocked on the open attic door the next morning, a sad look on her face as you stirred. She always did look a little sad, but today it seemed more prominent. A tiny part of you wished that she won Five’s heart instead of you. You groaned at the memory, holding back tears as you stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s worse than usual today,” was all she said before she was walking down the staircase with a frown.

You got dressed into your regular simple, stained covered dress and you felt calmer. This is where you belonged, you weren’t trained for petticoats and embroidered gowns, you were living as a maid. You didn’t want to imagine the stress of being a queen, and yet a part of you yearned for Five. Not for his status or the riches, just for him and his smile, his laugh.

The baroness frowned at you as you entered the sitting room, Elinor and Jane, at her side with their needle-points in hand. “The girls had a horrid night,”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Baroness.”

“I’m sure you are,” she snapped, earning a small jump from you. She held up the swan mask with a vicious glare “You did ruin it didn’t you?”

Panic was an emotion you were getting used to as you stared at the mask, there were two options. You could lie, say it isn’t yours, say it was a simple coincidence, or just tell her the truth. “I don’t regret it,” you smiled back, confidence wavering as she stood. If you could earn a proposal from a prince you could handle your stepmother, it was arrogant but it felt right.

“You will, I’ll make sure of it,” she promised as she stood in front of you, her hand raised in an almost dramatic way, flying down to deliver a blow to your cheek. You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the strike to hit, but it never came. Your eyes opened to take a peek at your savior, Elinor, standing in front of you with her mother’s hand inches away from her face.

“My night wasn’t ruined,” she said softly as she looked up at her mother. She swatted her mother’s hand away quickly, speaking in a bold tone suddenly. “Believe it or not, people don’t care for you. They care for your regality, but once they know you, they stop caring.”

Constance felt her eyes widen, mouth opening as her youngest daughter shushed her sharply, “The crown prince is going to come looking for her, you know that, Jane knows that, and I know that. So let him come and marry her.” she finished, pushing past her mother to sit back down next to Jane with a smile. You fought back tears of gratitude as you looked over at her before you turned back to Constance.

“I don’t understand how marrying the prince would be a bad thing. He asked me to and I said no because of you, because of how you made me feel, but,” you swallowed, looking down at your dirty clothes “He chose me.”

“Maybe he just wants another maid, but I will let you see him when he comes, and if he still wants you then be grateful.”

~~

His father had written to his siblings and so they were here. All of them. He loved his siblings, truly, they were just annoying, very, very annoying. Vanya was secretly his favorite, although he’d never tell her that. Klaus was discussing his husband, Dave, with a very annoyed Ben who just kept nodding and going ‘uh-huh’ and Allison was talking to Luther about her daughter. This is how it usually was, they all seemed to ignore the reason they were brought here and just went off into their own worlds. Five only had the attention of Diego and Vanya thus far, funnily enough, they were polar opposites and yet they both seemed so annoyed. “Hey!” Diego spoke up, snapping his head in the direction of his siblings “Can we all focus?”

“Focus on Five having a hard-on for a commoner?”

“Luther, I have a hard-on for a commoner.”

“Klaus, please stop talking about Dave,”

“Can we not call it that, please?” Five whimpered, stuffing his face into his hands, trying to rub away his on-coming headache.

“Dad said he caught the two of you kissing in the garden,” Klaus said, talking as if it was the most scandalous piece of news he had heard all week. “The ghosts of the palace say it was pretty steamy, three cheers for Five!”

“Please, focus.” Five begged his siblings as they laughed. “I just need you all to focus,”

Five waited for all eyes to be on him again before he continued “I propose and she ran off,”

“With your attitude, I would run away too,” Diego joked, playing with a small dagger.

“That’s not the point!” Five snipped, rubbing his temples harder before he let his hands drop with a defeated sigh. “I need to find her, I need to ask her again.”

“Why don’t you just ask someone else?” Luther questioned.

“Luther,” Allison said sharply “If someone told you to find a new wife, would you just simply ask someone else?”

“Well, no, but they kissed. It’s not like Five’s in love with her, right?” He turned his head towards Five, whose cheeks were turning a teasable color of pink.

“Well, I…” he trailed off, clearing his throat quickly to cover up for his embarrassment.

“Oh, he’s falling in love with her,” Klaus said, clapping his hands together with excitement. He mustered up his best, posh accent and said “Charles, let’s have a royal wedding, for the youngest please.” That’s when everyone started talking at once. Five heard some sentences like, ‘oh, I bet she’s beautiful’ or ‘do you think she can handle Five’ and so on.

He cleared his throat again, getting his siblings attention “I need us to split up,” and thus a plan was put into place; Vanya would be searching the inner city with Allison, Luther and Diego would be searching the farmlands, and Ben, Klaus and himself would be searching the grounds near the creek. He assumed you lived near there, but he wasn’t going to take any chances so there wasn’t going to be any stoned left unturned till he found you.

~~

Elinor, Jane, and Constance have long since gone to different parts of the cottage, but you stayed in the sitting room. You had changed to your best dress, one that was crisp and free of anything unseemly and shined the pretty shade of pink, but after that, you were glued to the sitting room. You had tried to read, but your mind was far too cluttered for any books at the moment, so you sat and thought about your mother and father. You thought about love and how they loved each other, trying your best to remember every beautiful detail possible.

Elizabeth broke your concentration when she came running into the sitting room. “Miss Y/N! The crown prince, he’s coming! Oh dear, he’s coming to you with his brothers! Oh, miss, I’m so happy for you.”

“He’s coming here, now.” you gasped, standing up quickly.

“Do you not want him to come, miss?”

“No! No, I do, I’m just,” you paused, hands shaking “Well, I’m scared.”

“He’ll love you, dear,” She beamed, moving to wrap you into a tight hug as a knock was sounded at the door. Elizabeth was off of you within seconds and scurried to the door with a laugh, she looked back at you for a second, waiting for you to give her the okay. You nodded quickly as you flattened out your dress, trying your best to look presentable.

You stood in the sitting room, staring at the door. You felt strange for not opening the door yourself and you felt guilty that you ran away. You should have said yes, you should have agreed to be with him last night. You felt your fingers twitch as panicked thoughts ran through your head at a thrilling speed. Elizabeth opened the door to let them in.

He was dressed differently now, he looked similar to how he looked when the two of you first met, and yet, he looked so different. He was still wearing a formal-looking suit, blues and gold decorated him handsomely and you could feel your heartbeat pounding inside your chest.  His eyes were soft, seeming more desperate and vulnerable than ever. As soon as he spotted you his feet stopped.

Two men followed him in, standing behind him with smiles. One was rather tall with long hair, fashionably dressed, and had the wider smile of the two. The other seemed just as happy but calmer, dressed in more formal attire. The sitting room was filled with silence before the taller man’s voice cut through, “So, you’re the little lady who danced about the ballroom with Five.”

“Klaus,” the other man said in a disappointed tone, his smile dropping as he stared at him. Then the silence continued. Five was looking for something to say, he wanted to say so many things before, but now he couldn’t get the words out. “Maybe we should go outside,” Ben muttered as he took note of the silence, pushing his brother out the door quickly, leaving you and Five alone.

“The suns going down,” Five blurted out quickly as his chest squeezed with anxiety.

“It took you all day to find me,” you joked as you took a step towards him.

Five smiled at you before turning his head down to look at his hands, fidgeting quietly. “I was waiting for my siblings,”

“They’re lovely,”

“Only you would say that.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Because you’re good,” he paused, lifting his head to meet your surprised gaze. “You’re good for me and you’re kind and unbearably naive. I mean who forgets her shoe on the steps of the palace. How childish, truly,” he laughed as he watched your face flush red.

“I would rather you call me something sweet instead of teasing me,”

“I would rather call you by your name.”

“It’s Y/N,” you responded sheepishly, giving Five an unsure smile as he echoed your name back to feel it on his lips. You watched as he blossomed into a large smile and nodded a little. You tilted your head to the side, laughing as you watched him mutter to himself with fascination, “What?”

“I think my last name fits perfectly at the end of that, what do you think?” He was teasing you, surely, he wasn’t doing this here, now? You felt your mouth go dry, butterflies hitting the walls on your stomach as you reached down to hold onto something. Five’s demeanor changed quickly upon seeing you sway, “No, wait, wait, I’m sorry!”

He was hovering over you nervously as you sat on the edge of a chair, his hands nervously finding your face. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on them as you stared up at him. “You can’t joke like that, not if you don’t mean it.”

“If I don’t mean it?”

You stuttered for a short minute, mouth opening and closing like the mouth of a fish as he looked down at you. You swallowed sharply, stood up, and looked over at Five, “Then do it right, if you mean it, that is to say, propose to me properly.”

“Properly? You know I’m a prince, I was born to be proper.” He was joking at a time like this, earning a gentle frown from you before he was taking your hands in his in one swift movement. “Properly,” he repeated one last time, earning a nervous nod from you in the process.

“Growing up I never really had much optimism in my life, I was born with extraordinary abilities and yet my life was seemingly boring. I always felt as if I was missing something important, missing something that made life meaningful. I had books, royal duties, and standards. I had the makings of a good prince, indeed, but I think I was missing you. You have shown me colors I can’t see with anyone else. I can’t promise to be the best for you or to be the most earnest, or to be the most amiable, but I can promise to love you. So if you’ll have me, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” He finished his speech, moving to the ground to be on one knee, trying to catch his breath. He felt you squeeze his hands tight before pulling him up into a tight hug, kissing his cheek quickly.

“Of course, I will,” you whispered in his ear sweetly, pulling back from him with a smile. Five stood there, panting lightly as you were inches from his face before he let out an excruciating long sigh.

“Oh, thank god.” he released before he leaned in to kiss you firmly on the lips. You tripped over yourself to kiss him back with the same passion, smiling against his lips as you held onto him. Five was beaming, kissing you all over your face as he laughed. You felt laughter spill out of you quickly, swatting him away playfully and then you knew that as long as you had him next to you, you would be fine and the two of you would live happily ever after indeed.

[aro-is-gay-af]

The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader

As you all can see, I got carried away just a little with this one. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm planning at least part two, since this part got soooo long.

Anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors, as well as any confusion with syntax. English isn't my native but I always try my best! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Please, pay attention to the warnings. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics, simply do not read.

I pictured here Aro from the films (as Michael Sheen is perfect for this part), Caius from the films (maybe a little bit older) and Marcus from the films but his younger self (maybe 20?). Also, I wrote at one point that [Y/N] has blonde hair and blue eyes but it just helped me with the descriptions. Obviously, you can picture characters according to your wishes.

Warnings: Rape (graphic description!), Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 7816 (!)

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings' mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

You thought that the death of your parents was enough to break you. As they say, if you’re not willing to bend, you’ll break. And you did. After all.

Ever since you’ve been born, everything went downhill. You were a weak child and within your first five years of life, you’ve gone through countless surgeries. Something was terribly wrong with your spine and the doctors were worried that you wouldn't be able to move normally.

You got your ‘happily ever after’. After fourteen surgeries and taking more than a dozen medications, you could be considered healthy. It made you remember the better part of your childhood. At this point, you couldn’t even recall constant visits at hospital or ingesting enormous amount of drugs.

What you could recall, was the agony that your mom went through while dying of pancreatic cancer. You tried to help her but there was literally no help available. Sure, chemo did help, but only a little tiniest bit. When someone got this type of cancer, there was only one way to die. It was neither pretty, nor pleasant.

So your mother died when you were sixteen. Your father followed shortly after her. He suffered from severe depression after your mother’s passing, but it was the car accident that got him killed. You were just before your graduation.

You’ve finished school and tried to go on. It wasn’t exactly an easy path to follow. You had the feeling that fate had made you its whore and the devil knows his jokes. Somehow, you got through college. You used the money from your dad's insurance policy entirely for your education. It was the only thing you could do to secure your future.

At 22, you got a job at the same hospital where doctor Cullen worked. You were a nurse on the paediatrics ward, but the hospital in Forks was so small that you often found yourself working with doctor Cullen. He was always kind to you and exuded a fatherly warmth. However, like everyone from Cullen family, he was slightly withdrawn from all conversations and social activities.

You noticed a slight change in his behaviour when your best friend, Bella, started dating with the doctor's youngest son, Edward. Carlisle has been talking to you more and more. The conversations weren't long – more like short exchanges of words, whether about his family’s well-being or any leisure activities both of you devoted yourselves after work. Nevertheless, you started calling each other by the others’ given name.

You met with Bella on average once a week. Sure, you were four years older than her, but the age difference never was a problem. You always got along well, and age had nothing to do with it. With time, you've watched Bella thrive during her relationship with Edward and you've enjoyed her happiness. Your relationship had loosened a little, but you didn't hold it against her. With Forks being so small, you could easily meet Bella on the street or in a shop and talk to her about silly things or this boyfriend of hers. It made her blush furiously every time you brought up the topic, especially if Edward waited nearby.

And then, just like that, something snapped. Of course, you heard about their huge quarrel about god knows what, and that Bella wanted to make herself scarce immediately. Charlie called you that night if , by any chance, you could talk some sense into her. Bella not once picked up her phone and then she got her stupid ass into the hospital. And magically reconciled with Edward. That’s when you started to be suspicious. Something wasn’t right about this situation, at all, but you let it be.

Time passed and even though you liked Carlisle as a colleague, you became gradually suspicious about him and his family. Things that you noticed were little, almost insignificant, but something told you that there’s more than meets the eye. Bella herself began to limit contact with you, mainly due to her lack of time for Edward. But when you did get a chance to meet and talk, the subject of Edward still came to the surface.

You tried to understand your friend, while not understanding her at all. You also were in love once but your mother's illness and then your father's death took too much of a toll on you, to experience your first love in such an intense way. It was incomprehensible to you, how Bella could lose her head so much for this boy. And yet you tried, tried to be there when Bella needed you the most. Simply because you were a good friend and also because you needed a friend.

You were left alone, out in this world, with no one to care about and no one to love. Only Bella, as present and, most importantly, alive person, connected you with your childhood and good memories from that time. She was the only one left. You considered her your family and you didn’t want to lose her too. Not after all you’ve been through.

At the day of her birthday, you saw her quickly after her school. You gave her a small gift and you both agreed to meet a day later because Edward's family had invited her to stay at their place. After that birthday, everything changed. The next day Bella went missing. You went to her house exactly as agreed and Charlie said she had been gone for a few hours.

When Bella was found later that evening by Sam, Charlie's colleague, everything became frighteningly clear. The Cullens had moved out of town. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten a lucrative job somewhere else. That didn't surprise you, he was a really great doctor. But how could he not mention a word of it to you? Not that you were so close to him but you considered him a good comrade of yours and moving out of town like this, without a word… It seemed extremely strange to you.

The months that followed were very similar. Bella fell into a deep depression and apathy. You came to visit her, but during these visits it was mainly you who talked. You talked about work, about your next qualification course and about the anniversary of your mum's death. Bella mostly remained silent. Charlie confirmed that, yes, she did go to school, but apart from that, she sat in her room all day and stared at the window.

You knew from Charlie that she was slowly trying to reconnect with her friends. And that she was spending a lot of time with that boy from the reservation. You were happy because it meant that your friend was slowly coming back to life. Maybe not back to normal, not yet, but at least she was trying. And you were trying too. To be a good friend, a good sister to her.

You started talking more during your visits at her house. Unlike before, the subject of Edward didn't exist. It was as if he had never existed. So you did not mention him at all. Bella was healing, slowly, just as you were, when both of your parents died. She was there for you, even if you could only talk to her on the phone because, at that time, she permanently lived with Renee.

For the first time in several months, you hoped that things would somehow work out. In your life, the moments when you were truly happy never lasted long. It was the same this time. One day, you went to Port Angeles to buy new clothes for work. Yours were still from your university days, worn out, but not so long ago you were short of money and preferred to spend it on other things rather than buying new clothes.

By the time you got back to your car it was pretty late. The car park was deserted. On your way to the car, a man accosted you and, before you knew it, he had hit you on the head with something heavy. When you woke up, you were in a squalid alley. The man was pressing you against a wall with all his strength. You only realised what he was going to do, when you felt a cool breeze brush against your bare legs. Your trousers and underwear were almost at your ankles. You started to squirm, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. You heard his quiet giggle next to your ear.

"Don't resist angel, I’ll be quick," he whispered in your ear, pawing at your breasts with his left hand. You felt sick to your stomach. He had hideous breath, as if he had been drinking for three days, then puked and drank again. You started to jerk harder, to pull away, but it only caused you pain. He held tight, pushing against you with his whole body and whispering disgusting things under his breath. When he finally entered you, he tugged hard on your hair. He made no effort to cover your mouth because you didn't even try to scream. You were out of breath, unable to say a word. You were afraid that he would kill you. You wanted him to go away so that the pain would end and you could finally go home.

When he finished, he let you go and just walked away. You stood there, half naked, frozen and shaken, for god knows how long. You were unable to move. When you felt his semen running down your leg, you finally managed to vomit. Your cheek was bruised and scratched from how hard he pressed you against the rough wall. You wanted to go home, but you didn't have the strength to get up from the street.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally got up. You got dressed and walked to your car. Everything hurt. You didn't want to, but you knew, you had to go to the hospital. You could not leave it like that. He had already hurt you, but what about the others? You couldn't let that happen. All the way to the hospital in Port Angeles your hands were trembling. Returning to that memory, you didn't even remember how you got to the ER.

At the hospital, they took care of you properly. They called the police. Two female doctors were there for a medical examination. The nurses were very nice. You tried to put on a good face. You've thought about how your sexual experiences has been so far. Your first sex, like most people's, was terrible. Your boyfriend was two years older, you were 17 and it all went wrong. You were in pain. He didn't seem too happy either. Up until you graduated from high school, you tried to make it work somehow, but there were never any fireworks. It wasn't until college that you discovered the good side of sex.

However, you never had sex with someone you loved more than life. You haven't met anyone like that. And you were sure that sex with that person would be unique and exceptional. Until now, of course. Lying on a hospital bed, you felt exploited. Abused. Filthy. Humiliated. How can one do something like that to another person? The nurse asked if someone could come and pick you up, and you didn't have much of a choice. You called Bella. While she was on her way to the hospital, you let the police officers question you. You mechanically slurred the words as if it wasn't about you at all. As if it wasn’t you that had been raped.

As soon as you saw Bella, you were no longer able to pretend that nothing had happened. You were sobbing and she hugged you tight, telling you that he would pay for it. You weren't so sure about that. You wanted to be home as soon as possible, so you went back to Forks. Bella said nothing while driving because there was nothing that could be said. In the shower, you scrubbed yourself so hard with the pumice that you thought you had taken off all your skin. To your absolute disgust, you could still feel his touch on you. You could hear him whisper against your ear and you could smell his hideous breath.

A week has passed. Bella texted you every day, and you were able to hang out almost every other day. She was a good sister, a great friend. She didn't want to leave you alone in this. Despite being offered leave, you went to work. You didn't want to keep thinking about what happened. Each time, after taking a bath, you were unable to look in the mirror. On the first day, right after scrubbing, you decided to take a look. You had bruises on your stomach, thighs, buttocks and breasts. Your forearms were scraped, your cheek was scratched and bruised. The worst of it was that you had been bleeding for days. The gynaecologist said, it was due to too much force, and the fact that you actively resisted for a while.

You were trying to get back to normal. You went to work, you were seeing Bella and taking your course. But no one could touch you. You didn't even shake hands to say hello. You didn't care at all, you couldn’t endure a touch anymore. Not in any way. You didn't get your period, but the doctor said it could happen. It was a shock to the body and a lot of pain to bear. Also, you bled for almost a week after the rape.

You started to be afraid to go out alone. When in a shop or at work, if anyone approached you from behind, you started panicking and hyperventilating. You couldn’t walk ordinarily on the street. You looked behind every two or three minutes to assure yourself that nobody was following you. Your hands trembled while driving the car or making the tea. Your eyes were starting to water as soon as someone even tried to touch you. You had nightmares and you started losing your mind because of this.

When your period did not come in the following month, you began to worry. Surely you couldn't get pregnant with this... monster. Not you. Of course you have checked. You would not be able to live in such ignorance. It turned out that yes, you indeed were pregnant. When the doctor confirmed it, you fainted. Not you, not like that. You didn't even think you'd ever be a mum. Let alone like this. You hated your body even more and the fact that it had betrayed you in such a villainous way.

You knew this path led to madness. You were in an even worse mental condition, than after losing your mum; than after dad died in the accident. You have shed countless tears. You didn't want to abort this pregnancy, and at the same time you wanted it with all your heart. If only you were able to defend yourself. Break away from him and run as far away as possible. It would never have happened. But you were weak and didn't even have the energy to scream. Would it have made any difference though?

You were constantly beating yourself up with thoughts about whether you should keep the baby, when something completely bizarre happened. Jacob called you that he had to rescue Bella after jumping off a cliff. Annoyed, you got in your car and drove up to the Swans' house. Bella's car wasn't there, so you waited patiently in yours. When they arrived, you were boiling with rage.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!” you shouted, as you got out of the car.

Bella rolled her eyes. She looked miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked through. She smiled weakly towards you.

“It was just for fun, you know” she muttered, as you hugged her tightly. It was your first closer contact since…

“It was just for sport,” she tried again.

You snorted in annoyance.

“Yeah, sure, get inside before you get sick.”

As you both stepped onto the porch, Jacob unexpectedly grabbed Bella's wrist. They shared a look.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. You can go now, Jake,” she muttered, trying to disentangle herself from his grasp.

You smiled weakly at him, while Bella was looking for her keys.

“Cool, I'll take care of her until Charlie gets back. Thanks for saving her stupid ass,” you said. Jacob smiled amused, but still seemed slightly tense.

“No problem. Always at your service,” he joked. “Well... See ya around,” he said goodbye and walked away to his car.

You walked into the house with Bella.

“What were you thinking? You could have died” you muttered under your breath, stripping off your jacket.

“Well...actually I wasn't thinking, like, at all” Bella admitted, smiling apologetically at you.

“Next time think about Charlie,” you said, hugging her once more. Your body screamed that you shouldn't do that, but you were glad that Bella was okay.

While Bella changed into dry clothes, you made hot tea for both of you. Someone knocked on the door. The knocking was not from the front, but from the courtyard. You walked slowly to the door and opened it. Edward's sister, Alice, stood in front of you. You wouldn't have known what she looked like, if Bella hadn't shown you pictures of her. But other than that, you knew quite a bit about her, because when Bella was still with Edward, she couldn’t kept her mouth shut about Alice.

“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked politely. She tried to look normal, but there was something in her behaviour that made you nervous. You were about to reply, when Bella appeared in the kitchen.

“Alice!” she squealed, throwing herself around the brunette's neck. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Alice in disbelief. "Are you really here? Or am I just dreaming this?" asked Bella.

It was your turn to roll the eyes.

“Of course she’s here” you said, now slightly annoyed. “Don’t be bothered by me, please, proceed to whatever you wanted to say.”

Your sarcastic tone was not intended, but justified. You were slowly beginning to get fed up with this family's games. First they move out and turn Bella's life upside down, and now the big comeback? Something's not right here. Besides, at that moment, you weren't the right person to play with. You had enough problems of your own and your life was messed up enough. What you didn't know at that moment, was that everything was about to change fundamentally very soon.

Alice took no notice of you.

"Bella, listen. Edward thinks you committed suicide. He told me that he doesn't want to live either, so he is on his way to the Volturi to ask them for an execution."

You had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was terrified, and you didn't know what was going on here.

"What, who the fuck are Volturi? Did Edward get involved with some cult? Also, how did he know Bella killed herself?" you asked, not understanding anything of what Alice was talking about earlier.

"We have to go to Italy, Bella,” she ignored you once more. “If they refuse him, I'm not sure what he'll do" as Alice spoke, Bella began to gather herself quickly to leave.

You grabbed her hand.

"And where do you think you are going?" you asked in disbelief. Bella looked at you apologetically.

"Y/N, I have to go. They're going to murder him. Just the fact that I'm alive will convince him."

You snorted in disbelief.

"You're dead serious? And can't you call him and tell him it's a misunderstanding? Besides, Bella, this guy ghosted you. He left you here, alone, with not one explanation and you want to fly to the other side of the world to save this dumb ass?" you asked, trying to take your mind off this ludicrous circumstance.

“Oh my god, we’ll take her with us if she’s not going to back down” said Alice in exasperation.

“And to your kind information, I won't back down. Your douchebag brother and the rest of your family turned her adrift. I was the one who pulled her out of her depression, and I will not let the exact same thing happen again because of any of you,”you hissed out in anger. You saw something in Alice's eyes that you considered to be admiration.

You looked at Bella expectantly.

“Y/N, I still love him. I cannot let this go” Bella whispered and you felt as your chest tightened. “Please…”

You heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okey, but I’m coming with you,” you decided and noticed that Alice's eyes were momentarily clouded with mist. You had no idea what was going on here, but you were sure that this whole affair with the Volturi, whoever the hell they were, didn't sound good.

After a few seconds, Alice looked at Bella, then at you and back at Bella.

“Get your coats, we have to go now,” she said.

“But Alice...” protested Bella.

“There's no time for that. We'll explain everything to her on the way. If we start now, we won't get out of here until noon” she muttered exasperatedly, walking out of the house. You looked at Bella.

“Bells, what's this all about?” you asked, and she just sighed quietly. You both quickly got your shoes on.

“We'll tell you on the plane but I'm afraid the Volturi won't like that a lot,” she said with worried expression on her face.

When you were at the airport waiting for a plane, you had countless questions in your head. Why the fuck Edward was pulling such nonsense? Why to be so dramatic about thing that didn’t even happen? Did this idiot really get involved in some sort of cult? And why was his sister so concerned about it that she decided to tell you ‘everything’, whatever needed to be said? However, the question that kept you wondering was who were the mysterious Volturi and what could they possibly resent about you?

One thing you were sure of. There hadn't been a moment since the sexual assault when you hadn't thought about it. And now your thoughts were occupied by the mysterious Volturi and you immensely wanted to find out what it was really all about.

⋎⋎⋎

On a plane ride, you found out that vampires are no fairy tales and your best friend was in love with one. It was a wild thought but, as soon as Alice started taking, you knew it wasn’t a joke. You were given so much information at once that you were unable to respond to anything as Alice finished her long monologue. You had a drink of water, although at that moment you very much regretted not being able to drink whisky.

“Okey, lets say I get most of this…” you said with a low voice, trying to be careful with what you’re saying. “But can you tell me who are Volturi and why would they want to decapitate Edward?” you asked, looking sideways, afraid that someone might hear.

Alice let out a sigh.

“The Volturi are the equivalent of the justice system in our world. They are the ones who created the laws that help us hide from the world, and they are the ones who enforce them. They consider themselves… sort of royalty, as their leaders – Aro, Caius and Marcus – are over three thousand years old.”

If you were to be honest, you were not very good at processing this information. Three thousand years? The first thought that popped into your mind was that they must be immensely lonely. You were sure you wouldn't want to live so many years without having anyone worthy by your side. Later, Alice quickly summarised all the laws that every vampire must obey. They weren't complicated, but when you thought about it a little longer, some of them weren't so easy to follow.

“I don't want to whine, or come off as ungrateful or anything like that, but... didn't you just break the law? By telling me about you?” you asked cautiously, not knowing if what you were saying was right.

Alice sighed again, this time heavier than before.

“It’s complicated” she said succinctly, which interested Bella, who was eating some kind of sandwich.

“This vision of yours was about [Y/N]?” she asked Alice curiously. Alice merely nodded. When Alice told you about her gift, and this was at the very beginning of the story, you found it hard to believe. It wasn’t so unbelievable now.

"Eat something," Alice said to you. "It's good for the baby" she added after a moment, seeing you hesitate. You swallowed heavily, as you suddenly felt sick. The memories of that evening came back.

Alice smiled softly, as if knowing exactly what you were thinking about. And this was supposed to be Edward's gift.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, and your eyes almost fell out.

"Can you predict that?" you asked in disbelief. She and Bella both smiled. Alice nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, sure. I can't predict if the baby... you know, if it will be born, however, the sex I can tell you.”

You pondered on it, while eating your sandwich. The nausea eased, when you could think of something different than that unlucky evening. Before you knew it, you fell asleep and Alice woke you up when you landed in Italy. As Alice drove the stolen car, you tried to admire the beautiful views of Tuscany outside your window. When you had almost reached Volterra, you thought how wonderful it would be to live here.

⋎⋎⋎

This stupid boyfriend of hers. That was all his fault. Of course, Bella made it at the last minute. You, together with Alice, went to abandon the stolen car somewhere. Although, you had a feeling that you would be returning the exact same way. You tried to reassure yourself. Of course you’ll be returning. Or maybe not? If you were honest, you gave no fucks about it. You had no one who’d wait for you at home, your parents died, you were brutally raped not so long ago, and you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep the baby. Maybe dying today isn’t such a bad idea?

You have reached the square and entered the palace at a very convenient time. The guy who looked like a wardrobe and the other one, much shorter than him and blonde, looked like they were about to murder Edward in this instant. And actually, you felt like you could’ve murdered Edward too. Barely Alice closed the door, you didn't even glance at the two of them, but immediately began to scold Edward for what he had done. To hell with his gift!

“You stupid, immature, irresponsible, reckless and selfish bastard!” you started descriptively, and even Bella was taken aback by your behaviour. Alice raised her eyebrows and two other vampires looked at themselves and then straight at you. Edward had no time for any reply. “If you ever, I repeat, if you ever again do something as childish and irresponsible as expose my best friend to a nervous breakdown and months of depression, I promise you, here and now, that I will decapitate you myself. You're old, and yet a five-year-old child is smarter than you. You utter imbecile,” you hissed with hatred.

Of course, your malice towards him was temporary, but it's been a long time since anyone has angered you like that. The shorter man laughed under his breath, and the other one, who looked like a wardrobe, said:

“Can we keep her? I like the way she’s ruling the roost.”

He fell silent, as a short, pretty blonde woman entered the room. Her face was like a child's, but her eyes... bright red, staring at no one else but you.

“Jane” greeted her Edward. She didn’t even look at him.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long” she said. The atmosphere immediately became tense. Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen at the sound of Aro's name. You were curious but not frightened. Not yet.

Jane turned and immediately started walking towards the long corridor. Bella just looked at Edward, and you glanced at Alice.

“Do what she says,” she muttered to you and you both kept pace with the couple in the front.

Needless to say, it was the most stressful and also the most terrifying lift ride you've ever experienced. Not to add the creepy music background. You guessed it was supposed to make you feel better, but instead it made your whole stomach go up to your throat. You were standing right in the middle, next to Bella, holding Alice's hand. The vampire, who looked like a wardrobe, kept looking at you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Puking on someone's shoes isn't going to make this situation any better. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edward smile. Yeah, the situation you’ve found yourself in was extremely funny indeed.

When you reached the main chamber, you didn't know what to look at first. At the vampires standing against every wall? Not very wise of you. At the marble floor? Nothing to be afraid of for now, so no. You probably should have looked at the three thrones in front of you and the vampires that sat on them, but instead, you were interested in the Latin phrase engraved between the columns above you.

You glanced at your company. Edward looked as if he was about to die. Maybe that's what's going to happen? Alice looked very out of sorts, and Bella, well, she was hanging onto Edward's arm and also looked like she was about to leave this world for good. She was unnaturally pale and you though she was going to faint any second. But it never happened. The rest of the room felt extremely comfortable. For a moment, you turned your head towards the boy who called out to Jane. You did not let go of Alice's hand but you did not feel any anxiety. Curiosity prevailed, mainly because you had come to terms with the fact of your imminent death.

“Sister! Sent you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves,” the boy who’s just called Jane his sister probably was talking about me and Bella. “Such a clever girl,” he praised her like he wasn’t his sister but someone else entirely. You sighed heavily. Maybe they’re also into incest-kind-of-relationships? Who knows. You looked above your head again. There was a short inscription “vita brevis, ars longa” but you knew the rest of it. Latin was obligatory in every medical school.

When the man from the middle throne stood up, it was to him that you directed all your attention. You felt that something about him was... you had no idea how to describe it, but you felt a strange pull towards him. As if some invisible force had power over you.

“What a happy surprise!” he said pointedly, wide smile on his face. “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” he said cheerfully, while walking towards Edward. At that exact moment, you realised that you had managed to get yourself into a huge mess. The lair of the vampires. And you were only a weak human. Recently raped. With a baby under your heart.

As soon as the man stepped down from the platform, you were unable to take your eyes off him. His posture, the way he spoke, his demeanour, it all made you feel incredible respect for him. You’ve never felt this secure and calm in your entire life.

“I love a happy ending,” the man said, while he took Edwards’ hand into his. “They’re so rare.”

You were wondering why this man took Edward’s hand in the first place. You did not have to wait long for an explanation.

“Aro can read every thought that I’ve ever had. With one touch” Edward explained to Bella but you were listening too. Very carefully listening. You’ve finally managed to know the name of the vampire. Aro. It suited him well. Although his eyes were a little scary, you were delighted with his charisma and approach to guests. You realised that indeed, they are called the royal family for a reason.

Aro smiled to Edward.

“Her blood appears to you so much,” he whispered, and you had a hard time hearing his words well. Aro’s gaze rested on Bella. “It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?” he asked Edward, who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. You could tell by the fact that he was practically standing like a statue.

“It is not without difficulty,” muttered Edward from behind his clenched teeth.

You swallowed hard, as Aro turned his gaze to Bella again but he smiled.

“Ah, I can see that” he said pleased, moving away from Edward and focusing all his attention on Bella.

“Although you’re a quite soul-reader yourself, Edward, you cannot read Bella’s thoughts” he made a rather dramatic pause, still staring stubbornly at your best friend. “Fascinating” he said, not hiding his curiosity.

You managed to look elsewhere, than at Aro. The man on the throne to your left seemed unusually agitated. He fixed his gaze on you, as if his life depended on it, yet you did not feel uncomfortable. You were surprised to discover that an invisible force was also drawing you towards him. You almost took a step forward. You tried to remember the man from a few minutes ago. He looked as if he had died in that chair a few centuries ago. And now he seemed genuinely moved.

“Brother” the man spoke to Aro, as he got up from his throne. Indeed, there seemed to be an urgency to the matter, for Aro turned around in surprise. You had the impression that the man from the throne had not risen from it for a long time.

“You knew about this, and you brought her anyway?” you heard Edward's quiet whisper, directed at Alice.

Alice looked at her brother, then at you and finally at a curious Aro.

"It would have happened anyway. Better sooner than later" Alice murmured mysteriously. You still didn't know what it was even about. The third man, the one on your right, did not share his brothers' patience.

"Aro, let's hurry this up, Heidi will be here soon, and we don't want to frighten our guests" he said ominously, grinning like a madman. You were far from solving this riddle, but as soon as you looked at him, you felt the same attraction and enigmatic pulling as towards the other two.

Aro took his brother's hand in his own and you could see that his eyes would have lit up with happiness if they could.

“Ah, my dear Marcus! What an exceptional news!” intoned Aro cheerfully, heading towards you. He was slow in his movements, exactly so that you would not be frightened by him. All his movements were framed by an incredible grace.

“My dear, if I may, what is your name?” he asked, coming closer to you. You were unable to take your eyes off him. It was exactly, as if he had hypnotised you, only the feeling was more addictive. You didn't have to have a gift or to be a vampire to know that. For a split second, you ran out of breath and just stared into his red irises.

“My name is [Y/N]” you said, with your voice trembling, as your throat tightened hard under the intense emotions. You couldn't believe it was really happening. Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe these three beautiful men are just a figment of your imagination? You didn't even want to think about the fact that it might not be true.

Aro smiled encouragingly, while looking at you with all the attention that he’d possibly give you. You felt like nothing more was more important than you to him at that exact moment.

"It is an incredible pleasure to meet you, [Y/N]. I am Aro, but you already know that.”

The smile never left his face and during this brief exchange of words, neither of you took your eyes off the other. You felt that the atmosphere in the room had changed. Aro extended his alabaster hand in an inviting gesture.

“May I, my dear?” he asked you politely.

You gulped. Of course, you wanted to show him that you didn't want to give away their secret. You wanted to show him the strange bond you felt towards him and his brothers. However, there were things you didn't want him to see. You felt deep down inside that this attraction had an explanation and you didn't want him to see... Not that. You’d felt exposed and extremely embarrassed. There was also another issue. His hand. You'd hugged Bella twice since it happened and just now you were holding Alice's hand. You didn't know if, when you touched him, you'd start screaming or crying because you were so afraid of someone else's touch.

Yet, his hand looked so inviting, almost familiar, as if you'd already had the chance to touch it before. Aro himself showed no impatience. He waited, still gazing into your blue irises with his crimson eyes. You extended your hand towards him, at first cautiously, and then with a little more confidence. You took a deep breath, before your fingers made contact. When it happened, you felt as if you had come home after many years of wandering. He closed your hand in his, just as he had done with Edward's. His skin was cold, but he handled you extremely gently. You stared into his eyes as he looked at your thoughts and memories of your whole life. You knew instantly when he was done because he smiled sadly at you. He squeezed your hand gently in his.

"Never again, my love. Never again," he assured passionately, and then he leaned down to place a kiss on your hand. It was so light and as gentle as a breeze on a summer day. You couldn't help but smile.

Aro clapped his hands. He was clearly pleased with what had just happened between you.

"Aro, will you explain to me what's going on? I'm sick of waiting," said the nervous brother, who was the only one with blond hair. Aro smiled widely and turned towards him.

"Ah, Caius, you'll never guess. Finally, after so many years, our mate has honoured us with her presence" he said overjoyed and Caius frowned in awe. You were already able to tell that this did not happen often. Marcus, on the other hand, was sitting on his throne, smiling, still looking in your direction. You didn't miss the glances of the other vampires either. Was it some sort of celebration when Marcus was smiling?

“What does that mean?” it was Bella who snapped that question. Aro immediately appeared by her side. He gently stroked her hair, pulling an unruly strand behind her ear. You felt the sting of jealousy, when he touched her face. You should be the one asking that question and not her.

“Ah, and dear Isabella. What to do with you,” he wondered aloud, as if asking others for advice. “As I have far more important matters to deal with....” he began, looking directly at you. “I’d love to see if you’re an exception to my gift as well,” he whispered to Bella, extending his hand towards her. She didn't have much choice, did she? She took his hand, a little hesitantly, but after a short while Aro moved away.

“Interesting” he muttered. “I see nothing.”

“You already know what you’ll do with her, Aro” said Marcus, his eyes never leaving your person. “Just do it, as we want to know our little angel a bit more.”

You looked at Bella for a moment. She was terrified, not only with her own case, but also with yours. You have already guessed that you are not going anywhere. They would never let you out of their hands. Aro knew perfectly well that you didn't even have anything to go back to. Of course, you had plenty of questions, but you were sure it wasn't about your case now. Just about Bella's situation and what the Cullens had done, or rather what they hadn't done. However, you guessed it, Bella was afraid you wouldn't get out of here alive, and at the same time, you were worried about the exact same thing but about her.

Aro was smiling continuously.

“I have an idea” he said, after a long while. He approached Alice this time. “Would you be so kind, dear, and show me if you saw Bella's transformation in your vision?”

You were smart enough to know that it wasn’t a request. Alice undid her glove and boldly gave Aro her hand. He was absent for a moment and then smiled again. You were impressed by the aura he spread around himself. When he smiled, you felt like smiling too. You still had the impression that it was only a dream, and simultaneously you were sure that it was really happening. Aro's touch was definitely real, you couldn’t forget his cool hands embracing your own.

“Ah, lovely. I know everything now,” he declared. You and Bella probably looked similarly confused, but you weren't the least bit concerned and she was as pale as a sheet.

Aro turned directly to Edward.

“As I have seen Isabella's transformation in Alice's vision, I can let you go with peace of mind, my dear young friends. I trust that a date will be set sooner, rather than later and that I will be able to see for myself, what your mate will be capable of, Edward. As for you, Isabella, you are promising immortal material and I hope your potential will not go to waste," he said, this time speaking directly to Bella.

She was still brave enough to look him in the eye.

“And what with [Y/N]? You never mentioned what will happen to her” she noticed, looking in your direction. You smiled gently to her.

“I’m staying here, Bella” you said calmly, trying to reassure her with your tone of voice that all shall be all right.

You saw pure admiration and joyousness on Aro’s face as you said that.

“Isn’t she remarkable, brothers?” he asked Marcus and Caius, who looked as if they had just received the most beautiful Christmas present.

Bella seemed to be thoroughly outrageous.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]! You cannot stay here, please, come back with us. You cannot be here while you’re pregnant” she cried, holding your hand and looking at you with disbelief.

What she said made you very uncomfortable and extremely upset.

"Bella, I have nothing to go back to. My parents are dead. You knew that if Alice told me everything, it would have to be resolved somehow," you stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hand in yours. "I can't go back there, Bells." Your throat tightened with despair as memories of recent events flooded inside your mind. You tried to hold back tears.

"I am a shadow of my former self. I'm afraid to leave the house alone to go shopping or to work. This paranoia is overwhelming me, Bella. I keep turning behind me to see if anyone is following me on the street. I cry at night, knowing that it doesn't change anything. And then there's this unfortunate baby," you sighed helplessly, trying not to burst with tears. "Even if I keep it, I don't want it to have a mother who's afraid to leave the house. I can't live like this, we both know that" you whispered, squeezing her hands in yours again.

“But you cannot possibly be mated with all three of them” Bella whispered with despair in her eyes. You only smiled, sensing that this sentence got on Kings’ nerves, especially Caius’s.

“I think it’s predestined, Bella. Just as you are destined to be with Edward, I do belong here, with my mates” you said cautiously, glancing at Aro and looking for approval in his eyes. He was only looking at you with delight, as he said nothing.

You saw that Bella had hard time processing such information, whilst Edward and Alice said nothing at all. You knew that Alice knew prior about this, and Edward could see the vision in her thoughts. You pulled Bella into a comfortable hug.

“Hey, sister, we don’t see each other the very last time. We’ll meet again. Probably in a different…condition but still.”

Bella looked devastated.

“You promise me that?” she asked warily, her tone full of hope. You smiled at her.

“Of course I do.” You kissed her cheek and caressed her long, brown hair. “We can call each other, you know. It’s not like I’m moving to the Moon,” you joked, to release the tension a bit. To your astonishment, everybody in the room laughed at that. It made you blush, just a little tiny bit.

After another farewell, in which this time you also included Alice and Edward (barely, because you were still mad at him) and an official farewell from Aro, who told them to give his friend kind regards from him, the guests left the chamber.

They left, and Aro was immediately by your side. He gently stroked your long blonde hair, but didn't touch a single piece of a skin. After the display of your memories, he probably knew very well that you did not wish any touch for the time being.

You still couldn't free yourself from under his spell and if you were to be honest, you didn't want to at all. Aro offered you his arm.

"I believe, we have much to discuss, my love."

You took his arm gratefully.

"I have a ton of questions," you admitted as you walked out of the chamber with Marcus and Caius slowly following you. You didn't need to look back, the strange bonds that drew you together informed you of their presence in a yet unknown way.

Aro, as usual, smiled magnificently.

"My dear, one thing at a time," he said in a gentle tone, as he patted your forearm with tenderness. When you entered the study with the round table, Aro immediately pushed back a chair for you.

"No one is to disturb us" you heard Caius' sharp tone as he closed the door behind you. You tried to feel comfortable and at ease. After all, this was your home from now on.

Part 2 | Part 3

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi!! i recently got into johnlock and the universe has somehow directed me to your blog (which is an absolute godsend omfg). have you got any good possessive!john fics?

Hi Lovely!!!

AHHHH!! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog!!! <3 Thank you so much! <3

AHHH you know what??? I don’t get asked this all that much at all! I think mostly because it’s easier to find Possessive Sherlock fics and people then just... forget LOL

So guess what?? You’re the prompter for any fics I actually tagged or filed with Possessive John! <3 A pioneer you are! LOL I’m combining it with a few of the Obsessive fics as well, since I don’t have many new ones.

As usual, gang, feel free to add your own!! <3

POSSESSIVE / OBSESSIVE JOHN

See also: 

Specifically Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Display by 221b_hound (E, 2,377 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, Public Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Possessive Sex, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John) – A new client has been flirting with Sherlock and, finding no joy there, with John. John seems annoyed to be second-best, Sherlock thinks, so Sherlock decides to give the departing woman (and maybe also John) a demonstration of who, exactly, John belongs to. But there's more than one level of sexual jealousy and more than one display of possession going on here, outlined in the window of 221b Baker Street. Part 2 of Lock and Key

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures ||  Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Heavy Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres. The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Obsessive John) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time, Obsessive John) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

[wh6res]

taeyong — part of the my bloody valentine collection.

prompt. when your soulmate gets a wound or cut, flowers bloom on the same spot in your body.

synopsis. you’re desperate to meet your soulmate. maybe you can put a stop to the flowers stubbornly blooming on your wrists.

warnings. tread cautiously. mentions of mental illness (depression, attempted suicide), swearing, manipulation, implied self-harm, dubious content, forced relationship, unconsensual touching near the end, ty pulling the sadboi agenda

disclaimer. a friendly reminder that i do not, under any circumstance, condone or support any acts like this. this is not love and this is not how a normal relationship should be like. the things i write are all fiction and should be treated as such and if you don’t like it, please do not read it and waste your time hating on it. the 9 members of nct 127 do not act like this in real life and shouldn’t act like this in real life.

by the time you’re graduating high school, you’re used to the sorry glances people sent your way. 

for someone so young, you have more flowers blooming on your skin than any adult. a few small pieces of it blooming in the corner of your cheek, near the jawline. a few of them on your thighs. 

but the most concerning piece is the one on your wrists that are fully covered by the flowers, your skin nowhere to be seen with all the lilies of the valley tainting your skin. 

yet the worse has got to be the summer before senior year. you had been halfway done with the college entrance examination for a local university. your parents said the pain you felt the first time will turn into a mild itch whenever the flowers form on your skin. 

it started small, absentmindedly scratching at something on your neck. initially, you thought it was the heat, your sweat, and the fabric of your clothes irritating the sensitive skin. but when you walked up to the proctor to turn in your exam, you knew that apologetic stare like nothing else—but his eyes had flickered down to your neck. 

when your friends blew up your phone, asking where you are to celebrate, you lied and headed straight back home, head ducked, collars upturned, hiding the lilies of the valley wrapped around your throat like some insignia. 

a year later, you end up studying soulmate theory in university. they say it’s a useless course as there can be no scientific explanation to soulmates. you like thinking you chose the course because of sheer interest but really, you’re just finding an explanation, some external reason that probably bore no results but you trudged forward anyway. 

you’re restless in the pursuit of finding him—or her, you couldn’t care less. the hurt you feel weighs heavy in your heart each time you feel them blooming on your wrist, mind plagued with worry. 

your roommate interrupts your deep thinking as she practically throws herself onto your bed. “i have an idea!” she cheers, determined. “why not part-time in the school clinic? that way if people come in, you can compare their cuts to your flowers.”

“now, you just might be onto something there.”

the hunt for your soulmate still wasn’t easy despite working in the university’s clinic and it only got worse each day. your schedule is killing you, you’re slightly getting behind in some subjects, and you practically live in the library. 

contrary to popular opinions, soulmate theory can be a fucking bitch to study about. what with learning psychology, astrology, and botany all together. it was interesting how all these things can be factors in how people are paired to become soulmates. interesting, but rather complicated in a sense, too. 

they say psychology and astrology dealt with two people’s compatibility. while botany, the meanings of the flowers themselves, was theorized to predict how the soulmate connection will affect their relationship—ultimately, roses were a really, really good sign. 

you have been busy messing up your hair, utterly frustrated and irate—astronomy’s messing with your head and you can’t go a minute without scratching your wrists as the flowers bloomed after the other. 

then something unexpected happened. 

a lanky guy dressed in an all-black ensemble walked into the clinic. well, it was more of a being carried between two guys by the arms rather than walked in. everything about his clothes looked way too big to fit his delicate frame and it hardly looked like it was for fashion style purposes. his skin hugged his body to the bone, eyes sunken, and he looked so frail that a tiny shove would’ve sent him sprawled on the floor. 

his name was taeyong and he lied on the bed unconscious, with handkerchiefs wrapped around his wrists like bandages—courtesy of his friends, who looked deathly worried for the fate of their poor friend. if he had lost any more blood, he would’ve died. you had never seen the clinic in such chaos, people running around, anxious. your leg muscles were sore from going back and forth from the nurse’s side to the cabinets storing all the medical supplies she needed. 

it had been a whirlwind, and after your superior had patched and properly bandaged his cuts, you were left to look after him in the meantime as nurse jung tried contacting his guardian. 

his friends—who you learned were named yuta and jaehyun, were snoozing outside on the bench across the hall, parallel with the clinic’s double-glass door, as they waited for their friend to wake up. 

depression. suicidal. taeyong has been like that for his whole life, jaehyun stated earlier. you can only shoot a sorry look at the unconscious boy lying on the hospital bed. 

it had already been dark outside when you came in to switch out his bandages for new ones—only to realize that his cut is exactly where you had been scratching earlier before he showed up. 

you retracted, unbelieving of what that possibly entails. along the way, you’ve pieced together that your soulmate is probably struggling through something heavy, something that weighed him down so much that it made him believe hurting himself is the only solution, what with all the flowers on your skin. 

“it’s him…” you mumble, wide eyed as you eyed the faded scars around his wrists, eerily aligned to the flowers blooming on your own. 

you didn’t want to overwhelm him, that much was sure. you didn’t want to chase him away if he gets uncomfortable. so for weeks you started leaving anonymous notes in his locker. not the sappy love letter types, just little words of encouragement that could make his day better. 

when their friend breaks out into the tiniest of smiles, yuta and jaehyun’s thankful eyes would scour around the halls. sneakily looking for you behind taeyong’s back. they understood where you’re coming from and hadn’t spoken a word of disagreement when you told them you didn’t plan to make yourself known as his soulmate yet. 

and as if the notes were not enough, you start giving him his favorite starbucks drink every now and then—on days the flowers didn’t bloom as much as it normally would. you turn up half an hour early before lectures so you can place it on the table where he usually sits with his two best friends. even if his class is on the other side of campus, you’d still go. 

but it only took three weeks of creeping around until you’re caught by your soulmate himself. 

“do you want something from me?”

you didn’t know what to say, cat got your tongue as you stood before him holding the drink. you couldn’t weasel your way out and say the drink’s yours, not when he caught you standing before his usual seat, not when you were already leaning forward to place it on his desk.

“uhm… i…” you stutter pathetically, not being able to meet the intensity of his eyes. 

“jaehyun and yuta aren’t exactly the most lowkey, especially with how much their eyes wander when i open my locker. so, do you want something from me? what are you playing at, stalker?”

the name he called you stung like a bitch but you can’t blame him for it. you knew him, he doesn’t know you. you’re giving him gifts anonymously. even if they were all from the goodness of your heart, from an outsider’s view, your actions still appeared sketchy.

“soulmate,” you correct him. 

you watch his features twist into confusion, only for it to morph into shock once he’s digested what you just said. eventually, he schools his expression back to indifference. his stoic face is so intimidating, you thought, biting your bottom lip and fidgeting on your toes. 

“what?”

“i’m your—i’m your soulmate.”

his eyes flicker downwards to peak a glance at the bouquet of flowers painted on your skin. colors as beautiful and vibrant as the day you got them, the stems of the bell-shaped flowers intricately woven into each other. for a split second, you even twist your arms a little, showing him the rock hard proof of your claim. 

ever since you found him, you’ve always contemplated for the better part of your limited free time about what his reaction will be when he finds out you two are soulmates. will he accept you? or worse case scenario, pretend you didn’t exist? the possibilities are unknown especially with someone who seems to be going through so much that the last thing they wanted is this person who thinks they’re entitled to be part of their lives because the universe made it be that way. 

not that you feel entitled… taeyong can reject you all he wants and you’ll give him the space he needs—

he’s crying. 

and not the simple, small tears slowly streaming down his face one by one type of crying, no, his tears were an onslaught. full-on sobbing as he threw himself onto you, wrapping his arms tight around your shoulders as he buried his face into your neck, words heavily muffled by your coat. 

“is it—” he hiccups. “true?”

you blink, from all the reactions you’ve gone through in your head, crying was the very last thing you expected from him—crying and hugging you like you’re the last person on earth and he’s been touch-starved until he found you. 

maybe that was the case. 

you wonder what jaehyun and yuta felt whenever taeyong ditched them to spend time with you—and that was pretty much all the time since he’s found you. he’s like a puppy, following you around wherever you go (unless he has classes) and had been neglecting his friends. whether it was intentional or not, whether his two friends were cool with it or not, you don’t know. 

you try your best to smile every time he runs up to you on the other end of the hall, spotting you coming out of your own respective classroom after lectures are done. 

he’s beaming like a child, inviting you to this cafe he wants to take you to—and pathetic ‘lil ‘ol you just can’t seem to say no to those huge expecting eyes.

but you’re not blind to the slight scowl on yuta’s face nor the razor sharp smile on jaehyun’s features. they want to hang out together, just boys, but now there’s this soulmate who’s suddenly more important than them—what happened to bros before hoes?

but they knew taeyong needed you. heck, he never once smiled like the way he did before he met you. it was like he’s become this whole new person with a child-like innocence reflecting his eyes. 

“so?” your soulmate prompts just as his two friends came over, flanking him. 

taeyong deflates the moment he sees the hesitance in your eyes. “uhm… i actually have a shift in the clinic, and nurse jung said the clinic isn’t some hang out place, so you can’t, uhh…” you trail, not wanting to finish the sentence. 

a little white lie can’t hurt anyone, right? 

taeyong shouldn’t depend on you all the time, not when he also has friends who care about his well-being and mental health just as much as you do. being soulmates didn’t mean he has to spend every waking moment with you and the faster he realizes, the better. 

when you dashed away before he could even mutter out a reply, you miss the frown on his face, his eyes never once leaving your frame until you turned the corner. 

people often favor the underdog. they have this gnawing urge in their gut to sympathize and unknowingly root for their own plot twist or happy ending. 

people look at you and your soulmate and think you have poor, suicidal and depressed and sad taeyong eating at the palm of your hand, following you around like a lonely duckling—the undeniable underdog in a coming-of-age movie, the person shoved around until some bigger, more capable person comes to their rescue (in this case you, unfortunately).

but appearances have always been deceiving. 

your little 3-week head start with getting to know your soulmate had only been on surface-level. you just wanted to help him but taeyong’s obvious attraction—can you even call it that? you’d like to think it’s more of infatuation—is off-putting for you. from standing way too close to putting an arm around you, from walking you to your lectures to walking you home, from the light headpats to having the guts to kiss your cheeks. 

it’s too much and it wasn’t as if you basked in the public display of affection. whenever you tried telling him off in the most gentlest of ways, taeyong would frown and curl in on himself, eyes glossy, darting around, and looking like a kicked puppy. 

you couldn’t leave him like that just because of some harmless skinship, right? he’s just excited and happy he’s found you. weren’t you also the first one to initiate? with all those notes and gifts you’ve given him? and now you’re backing away just because of a few touches?

“you know,” your roommate plops herself on the couch next to you, netflix movie playing as background. “you’re not obligated to fix him. you’re his soulmate, not his psychiatrist.”

you sigh, head diving into the couch pillows. “i’m not trying to fix him, i’m just…”

she raises a prodding eyebrow. 

“…i’m just trying to be there for him.”

taeyong likes to think that he wasn’t doing it on purpose. but the sense of rush and sick pleasure running up and down his spine whenever you force a smile and give in to his wishes proves otherwise. 

all his life he’s been pushed around. tasked to buy his old man beer and cigarettes and an assortment of drugs. if he turns up empty handed, guess who becomes a punching bag? and he has always been alienated throughout his school life. immature elementary kids aren’t exactly the kindest and would’ve picked on every single thing to appear cool to their friend groups. and poor little scrawny taeyong who didn’t speak and didn’t defend himself was just too easy of a target. 

“uhm… you don’t—don’t need to walk me home all the time.” do you think so low of him that you believe he doesn’t sense your fake little giggle?

“but i like walking you home,” he pouts, jutting his lips just a wee bit more for extra measure. he makes sure his eyes are as round and glossy as can be, he noticed those puppy eyes are what gets to you the most. 

he can tell by your tense shoulders, the clear hesitance in your face, that smile that looked too sweet to be real, and your averting eyes. you needn’t say anything for taeyong to figure you out. he isn’t blind to the lack of comfort you’ve developed by being with him. 

he has to think of something or else you’ll be slipping through the gaps of his fingers.

he asked you out on valentine’s day. it wasn’t the simple, forgettable act of popping out the “hey, do you want to go out on a date with me?” question while holding a bouquet of flowers. taeyong made sure you’ll never forget this certain day that he had laid his claim on you—not that it needed to be vocalized, it was his wounds that made flowers bloom on your skin. the soulmate connection should be enough.

but taeyong wanted to go the extra mile.

with the help of his friends (yuta’s popular and jaehyun can be very persuasive), he’s got people handing you lilies of the valley every ten feet until you reach the auditorium in the main building. despite it blooming on your skin you’ve never really seen them in the flesh. they’re like dew drops, bell-like flowers growing in an elegant dip from it’s main stem and appearing no bigger than your thumb.

you were awed, but skeptical.

you meet taeyong by the end of your little journey, standing on a decorated stage with a bouquet of the flowers nestled delicately in his hands. the natural sunlight bleeding through the open windows giving him such a beautiful glow that you couldn’t take your eyes off him. he had smiled and timidly gave you the flowers while asking.

“will you be my girlfriend?” 

if only you’d look close enough, that sugar coated smile contrasted greatly to the sly flickers in his eyes. he knows how your actions are dictated by the reputation you’ve built. taeyong knows you'll say yes, because if you didn't, how could you have rejected your own soulmate who has made you the light of his life? he’s been nothing but kind to you and you’ve only pushed him away! you’re a monster! you should’ve saved him!

if him alone can’t make you say yes, maybe the pressure-induced stare of the whole student body can.

and as you shivered amidst taeyong’s suffocating hug, feeling the triumphant smirk against your head and his prodding nose as he sniffed your hair, you now understood why your body bloomed this specific woodland flower. 

lilies of the valley are beautiful.

but lilies of the valley are poisonous, too.

the flowers remind you of taeyong. 

making things official has only made things worse. taeyong has promised you that after being together he won’t try hurting himself anymore and that he’s a big boy and he can attend his therapy sessions alone. but the itching in your skin is as constant as ever and you just got off the phone with the receptionist of the clinic he goes to. 

“are things alright? i haven’t seen taeyong since three weeks ago.”

if there’s one thing you absolutely hate doing with your soulmate, it’s confrontations. for the three months you’ve been together, taeyong has always, always spiraled out whenever you confront him about something. be it the mildest or the most superficial thing, what started out small will turn into a complete whirlwind and he’d be in a fit of tears by the end of it.

every single time. 

you prefer happy taeyong than sad taeyong—if you can avoid it for as long as you can, you will. but you’re at your breaking point. him lying to you about his therapy sessions is the pin that popped the little balloon of security you’ve been protecting. 

when you arrive home, he’s already there, crouched and sifting through your bookshelf. it wasn’t a surprise or anything out of the ordinary, he possesses the key to invite himself into your apartment any time. “hey, you’re home!” he immediately stands, barreling towards you. 

he encircles his arms around you protectively as he pulls you flush against his body. you feel the tip of his nose prodding against your neck, hearing him inhaling your scent like cannabis. 

you learned to ignore it, this habit of his—but just because you do doesn’t make you any less uncomfortable than the first time he did it.

you don’t bother hugging him back. 

you were too pissed off to keep up with pretenses. 

“the clinic called, said you weren’t attending your sessions. why were you lying to me?” 

when pushed into a corner, you were never one to beat around the bush.

“i don’t like going alone, i told you that, remember?” he quickly replied, shoving you away. “i wouldn’t have to lie to you if you would just come with me for my sessions, don’t you think? you’re blowing this out of proportion when it’s all your fault.”

you wanted to pull at your hair. scratch that, you wanted to pull at his hair—no, not in that kind of way. 

“how the fuck—” you stop. taeyong hates it when you curse. cursing will do you more harm than good. you inhale through your nostrils, willing yourself to calm down. “how is this my fault? i told you i have to run errands for professor kim!”

“then quit working there! they’re not even paying you, it’s just for extra credit! which you wouldn’t even fucking need if you weren’t flunking astronomy so bad.” taeyong must’ve seen your features twisting into that of betrayal. he was there when you were crying your eyes out because you failed the exam. he knew the subject was taking such a big toll on you. 

how could he…

“don’t fucking look at me like that, kitten. you know it’s the truth.”

what is the point of this, some form of payback he’s subjecting you to? just because you didn’t come with him to his sessions? six months in this relationship and you already feel so drained, how would the universe expect you to keep up for a whole fucking lifetime together with him?

“why…” you choke, the tears building up in your eyes as your voice breaks. “so what do you want me to do, then?” you ask, because you genuinely don’t know. 

does he want you to choose? is that it? you didn’t want to lose the credits, but you didn’t want to lose this relationship either, no matter how much you’re drowning in the toxicity of it all. 

because this is your soulmate. 

certainly, the universe wouldn’t destine you to each other if it would only bring forth chaos, right? taeyong has mentioned time and time again that this is his first relationship. of course, he’s depending on you to show him the ropes. 

but it seems he isn’t really a big fan of how you do things. 

“quit.”

you shake your head defeatedly. “you know i can’t. i’d have to take the whole subject again next semester and—”

“i said quit, dollface.” the finality in his tone renders you speechless. “then fucking take the subject again next semester! i don’t care. that’s your consequence for neglecting your major. why the fuck do i have to suffer, too, if my soulmate is such a failure?”

his words cut deep, deeper than flesh, cutting through bone as your knees the urge to buckle and collapse before him. “taeyong, please—”

“honestly, i don’t even know what you’re doing with that professor. you always brush it off whenever i ask you!” the glare he sends could kill. “is this… is this why you’re so adamant about not quitting? then again… what kind of professor is willing to pass his students just by interning for him? i can’t believe i’m only realizing this now!”

this is bad. this is very, very bad. 

“whatever you’re thinking about is not true! trust me—”

but as if he can’t hear you, he dawdles on, trying to connect the dots when there is absolutely nothing to connect. 

“you suck dick for grades? how could you do this to me? how can you do that to yourself?” 

you don’t understand exactly why he’s crying again so you don’t say anything. not because his fierce accusations were right but because even if you try hard to convince him that nothing is going on with your astronomy professor, he’d still cry and whine and paint you to be the bad guy. 

“what… what use do i have in this world if my soulmate thinks i’m not enough? and i lost you to some guy who smelled like prunes of all people!” you would have laughed if the situation had been different, but taeyong was dead serious. “i’m useless. i’ve been useless with my family, my friends, and now you. i can never do anything right, can i? i can never make anyone stay. i can’t even make you stay!”

and like a switch that has been flicked off, your conflicted emotions vanish in thin air. gone are every trickle of anger, confusion, and irritation you felt as he makes a beeline to the coffee table, smashing the little ornamental fish bowl and pointing a shard against his dainty wrists. 

“no!” you tackle him to the ground, groaning when you feel the shard dig into your side yet you made no effort to get off of him. blindly, you reach, twisting his wrist to drop the piece of glass. “you promised!” you wail, clutching the collars of his shirt as you pull him close to you. “stop, stop hurting yourself.”

you feel him shaking his head, his own onslaught of tears staining your shirt as the negativity he’s been bottling pours over like a tsunami, dragging you under the currents with him. “no, no, no…” you splutter, snot running disgustingly down your nostrils. “it’s not true, none of that is true. you’re my love, my moonlight, i’d never betray you for anyone or anything!”

“but—but your professor, the internship—”

“i’ll quit. i’ll take the subject again next semester, it’s not a big deal, okay? don’t worry, i’m here. i’m so sorry!”

it was all too easy.

the thing with noble people like you is the foolish sense of responsibility lying underneath your skin, it’s gravitational pull so strong that you don’t bother to think before you speak, to think before you act, to think before you make promises, because what’s important isn’t yourself, it’s the person lying meek and helpless before you. 

quit, you say? taeyong wants something more.

the evil lying inside pandora’s box can never remain dormant, not when meddlesome people like you who think with a one-track mind pull the lid off its hinges, preaching how every evil can have their own redemption.

a hand finds purchase around your waist as an eerie blissful smile stretches on his lips, eyes clouded over. “really? i’m your moonlight?”

“yes—”

“would you prove it to me?”

he doesn’t make room for your hesitance to settle, he lunges, hands wrapping around your face to pull you into a kiss. it wasn’t like all the other kisses you’ve shared with him, no, this one had a dark, underlying purpose. his hands digging into your open wound to make it bleed, tongue sliding into your mouth the moment you gasped in pain.

your hands press on his chest, trying to push him away but taeyong’s thoughts are running wild. you blush in sheer humiliation when he lets out an almost pornographic moan. with a sinking realization, you’ve become hyper aware of something poking at your abdomen.

no, not yet. you weren’t ready yet!

“taeyong, wait—i’m not—”

“you said you love me, didn’t you?”

[lillian-nator]

Wallflower AU (aka highschool au made w/ @bellfort3)

V i b e s - hanging on the roof; walking across train tracks; skipping school; Lakes, yes, something with lakes; something with different types of sodas. - My angsty teens are gonna have painted nails - Tommy bleaches his hair; Wilbur dyes his hair black - dramatic fuck. - Wilbur in eyeliner plz - Wilbur wears doc martens; black, yellow, maroon, silver shiny - Tommy's worn the same exact jean jacket for the past 5 years; it's 2 sizes bigger than he is; but he wears it every single day; it has fur on the inside; and its light washed with tears; the tears didn’t come like it; he's just ripped it over the years - He doesn't wash it very often, but he's glued patches on it, and Wilbur's drawn on it in sharpie. He just layers hoodies or flannels under it when it’s cold, but still wears it when it's hot - Tommy's also worn the same shoes for YEARS, they’re duct taped together at this point, they're white converse, they're not white anymore, and he's bleach-washed them SO many times that they permanently smell like chemicals. - The laces are frayed, so bad that he doesn’t even wear the laces most days. - Tommy doesn't shy from going in mud or water though, he'll wear the shoes to their fullest and then some. - I think you can tell by now, that Tommy just doesn’t come from a lot of money. - They live in a kind of run down town, very poor, old, smallish. - Wilbur is middle class, which is very well off in the area he lives in. - Wilbur gives off family disappointment vibes. Where he has to sneak out at night, Tommy can leave through his front door. - Wilbur calls Tommy “sunshine”, but very sarcastically since Tommy is a dick :) - Tommy has one of Wilbur's old beanies; it's black and monster branded, the monster logo is green - Wilbur gave it to Tommy 3 years ago, and Tommy never gave it back - btw Tommy's 17 and Wilbur's 19: Tommy's a junior and Wilbur's a senior - Wilbur only drinks Green Apple Monster - Tommy drinks sugar free redbull, but mostly only when Wilbur buys it for him, because Tommy usually doesn't have pocket change - Wilbur and Tommy bring speakers to the train tracks and dance and by that, its them jumping around and occasionally pushing someone over - Tommy uses his allowance to buy cigarettes; Wilbur vapes - both mentally ill - Wilbur is essentially the modern emo. He has this one yellow and black flannel that's oversized, and he wears it multiple times a week - it’s a problem.

- Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo - That’s the group. - I have just been talking about Tommy and Wilbur but they are the main characters so you can suck it. - A scene with Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo, at a lake, throwing each other in, and Tommy gets his shoes soaked, but he saves his jacket from the fall. Water gun fights, and they drink energy drinks and eat chips. they lay in the grass and contemplate life, Talk abt life yes. Abt existence. Abt how shit it is. Half of them have to wake up early and sneak home, the other half get to stay as long as they like. - Tommy tucks his t-shirts into his pants, which are always very baggy black jeans with just gigantic holes. - Tommy and Dream both have ADHD, however, Tommy's meds are purely from welfare, he cannot afford to give any out. Dream however? From an upper-middleclass family. Basically millionaires in this town. He can afford to lose some of his meds. - He yells in the clearing "COME GET YOUR DRUGS CHILDREN" - Besides, I've learned that there are like so many different ADHD meds, and maybe Tommy is just on something a lot stronger than adderall. He can't partake in the pill popping, but he doesn't mind. He does it every morning. - They don't do it often, maybe once a month, depends on how big Dream's prescription is - not that he regularly takes them like a good boy should - And I won't ever write this, but Gogy hangs out with them every so often, in which Gogy and Wilbur have an on and off again hooking up type relationship - whenever they hang out, Gogy like sits and Wilbur's lap and shit - Tommy and Punz GAG - "EW the fuck - get your hands off eachother. ITS GROSS - NO PDA IN MY BACKYARD"

- They hang out in an abandoned Building. But they don't try to fix it up. They're not fucking VSCO girls. They just want somewhere to hang out - If anything they make it worse - they fucking trash the place - It’s not intentional though - It’s like they can have fun without worrying abt the mess - just, sometimes they spill hawiian punch mixed with vodka everywhere - THEY GHOST HUNT AND OUIJA BOARD AND SHIT - They hang out in cemeteries too. they play manhunt in a cemetery, but like the regular version- like just hide and go seek in the dark. - they've done seances even though almost all of them are atheists - anyways the point of the fact is, is that half of them (excluding the minors you know) I'm looking at you Karl and Q - somethings going on between you two have made out with guys, and I'm not gonna sugar coat it, most modern like takes on religion do not take kindly to that

- they go to prom - and Dream somehow ends up with a ton of weed, because he had just turned old enough, and had the money - and they get fucking high OUT of their minds, like they're never doing it again - like, George and Wilbur definitely hooked up at Wilbur's house, which they aren't supposed to do - because Wilbur's parents will fucking flip that Wilbur is sleeping with a random person. No one is quite sure where SapNap ended up, and Tommy lost one of his shoes. In a panic, they spent the next 3 hours looking for it to find it at the lake by the school - Tommy fucking cradles it to his chest. -  (are wilburs parents homophobic?) (yes maybe a little side of homophobia) (Is wilbur bisexual or gay?) (he is ‘whoever the fuck looks bangable’) (fair enough) (he is ‘gogy my king’) (TRUUUE) - the bleachers - they hang out under the bleachers

- Gogy = Stylish stoner - very popular, but never not high - Karl is like the goody two-shoes of the group, doesn't skip class, and is on the principals list, however, he will NEVER back down from space brownies - its his weakness - Tubbo has a subway pass, and they do that thing where Tubbo swipes it and everyone fucking bolts into the subway, and they take all the trains at like 4am and just hang from the bars and shit - Wilbur still dresses relatively like, nicely and scholarly, which puts everyone off. He wears very loose sweaters with button-ups underneath. with khakis or black jeans and his docs - where his best friend, our Tommy, wears borderline yellow converse, and one bleached two-sizes-too-large jean jacket, and some second-hand-store hoodies, that are always a bit too worn in, but so, incredibly Tommy - Tommy who legit hasn't brushed his hair in years, not with a brush anyways - too frantic to brush his teeth most mornings. but always chewing gum; Tommy's always everywhere at once - ADHD meds only half-working on him, they couldn't afford the good shit - He'll never quite understand Dream handing out his adderall for free, Tommy would kill for the hard shit, but hey, he's never gonna stop his friends from having a good time

- Let's talk about Karl Jacobs - good ole' goody two shoes Jacobs - all of his teachers are constantly trying to get him to stop hanging out with Tommy and gang - every parent teacher conference is "we love your boy, but we are concerned about his friends" - Teachers have meetings with him, about how the people you surround yourself with can change your future - Karl's like, from the good side of town, plays first in the drumline, plays violin on the side, straight a's, clean-white-air-force-ones type of guy. Name brand clothes. Combed hair - Packed lunch every day from his mom; gets dropped off by his mom, kisses her goodbye; Mom is like very involved in school too - PTA parent - it's fucking good kid Jacobs - and he's sneaking off with fucking potheads to go to college parties and abandoned buildings - Does he do drugs? Well, he’s a big fan of treats if you know what I mean :wink wink: - ….you ever see Ted's video about a 500mg edible …. yeah. - big fan of gummy bears and brownies - Karl shows up to Parties and there are shouts of "Fuckin' goody-two-shoes Jacobs is HERE" - a lot of people make fun of him and think they can push him around - He seems like a softie; welcome mat type beat - but fucking watch this man chug 5 cups of whatever you give him, and then still win beer pong - Like his best friend is fucking quackity, he can do the hard shit - its very much a his parents have no clue who he actually is type beat - Look, his parents have no clue where he is ever - And if they even know he’s out, they don’t know where or with who - If his mom is at all involved in the school, she'll hear about Quackity, basically a drug dealer with how much hash weed he hands out on a daily basis. - Tommy has to be contained in order for the school to run smoothly, and Wilbur is a dramatic fuck that sleeps through most of his classes - Tommy has to take frequent breaks - They make him spend 3rd period in the principles office - Like he obviously needs help but he can’t afford it at all. Even the school can’t do anything for him bc he can’t get anything official for himself - like he can't even try to concentrate - He gave up so quickly in high school, bc they don’t have enough time or staff to help him - he tried in middle school - but man, did he give up in highschool - Yeah. He knows it is hopeless. Can't even afford college anyway. he'll just do whatever Wilbur does - here's an idea: Fucking Karl Jacobs showing up to school one morning just absolutely hammered out of his mind - Karl just showing up to first period AP Physics, and he's barely awake, honestly smells so much like weed and booze, and if he breathed anywhere near you, you could just feel the alcohol radiating from his breath - He's extra bubbly, laughs at everything - takes out his notebook to take some sort of notes, and just fucking giggles at the shapes and equations. He is very spacy, he clearly stayed up all night doing something very illegal; he gets up and jumps around. 2nd period band? oh boy - He gets sick at lunch bet - Like everyone got Drunk but Karl got FUCKED up - It was his birthday, bet - He took like 17 shots over the course of like 8 - 12ish hours, and I looked it up, despite karl being super scrawny and probably like 140 - 150ish pounds - which isn't a lot for being 5'11 - will not kill him - BECAUSE, you guessed it, he turned 17 - He didn't sleep, he was awake taking shots and just fucking who knows what until 6am when they stumbled to school - at lunch, 11:30 in the morning - he's head down on the table, miserable - he doesn't have a hangover yet, because it's only been a few hours, but man, is he nauseous - just the smell of food makes his stomach churn - and the thing about fucking Jacobs showing up drunk as hell - is that at least one of his teachers has called his mom about it - SHES PRESIDENT OF THE PTA FOR FUCKS SAKE, ONE OF THEM KNOWS HER - And the teachers aren't stupid, Karl is so obviously drunk - generally Karl is pretty quiet in class; but now he has no distinction between hanging with hs friends and being in class - he's shouting and cracking jokes and is very tempted to kick his chair over - Anyways, Karl fucks himself over, end of story  - ONTO PUNZ’S RELGIEOUS TRAUMA WOOOOOOOOOOOO - It's Punz - fuckin' golden boy Punz; he plays football; and goes to church; and calls his mother "momma"; wears a nice church outfit; and is polite to the bible study mothers that come over on tuesday nights and gets them drinks - just a fuckin' golden boy - A religious family. Go to church every Sunday. Sunday school. Holidays. But. The kid just realizes that they don’t believe in god. Them telling the group like they’re high and he’s like “you know? Some of the shit that’s happened to us proves to me that god rlly isn’t real.” - and Punz like prays every day for Tommy's dad to get his job back; or for Gogy to get better parents; or for Karl to live the life he wants; and NOTHING EVER WORKS. THEY'RE ALL STILL FUCKED. - by the way we will get the the Tommy's dad losing his job later - But Punz's life is controlled by something he doesn't even believe in anymore - because he's still going to the like church breakfasts, and christmas service, and every sunday morning, and helping his mom's ladies bible study, and his parents are talking about sending him to a youth bible camp - - and he doesn't even think he believes in god anymore. - Punz kind of took out his own personal, religious, and family struggles out the way most teenage boys do. Drinking, and lots of sex. - SO I just imagined this like, really dramatic moment, where its the morning after Punz had a one night stand at some sort of party down the street, and he's long past saving his virginity for his wife, but he's buying her the morning after pill, which his church is just so against, and he has like the moment of, "if you do this, you're done." and he does it - he's had a couple of those moments, like, when he first had sex, and when he first smoked weed, or popped a pill, or snuck out at night, or skipped church - but that was the moment of "there is no going back" - like any type of drug or procedure that aborts an embryo, or that blocks fertilization thats already in process in like: the biggest no no in his church community - so once he stepped out of that drug store, he kind of took a breath, and just came to terms with it - "I'm an atheist." - Punz is the pastors son. - he's like, pre-commited to a catholic college - he’s in deep. - so when he first announces it to his friends, one really late night, "I think god might not be my thing." - they just start whistling and say "FINALLY, THE PASTORS SON HAS TURNED AROUND." - Dream just like turns over to him "how many chicks did you fuck to make you realize that?" - Tommy just slings his arm over Punz, "I'm glad you've quit the Jesus shit, Punz. Your better than it." - There’s gotta be this girl ok. He rlly rlly wants to have sex with her but he always backs out. The thing that breaks him. Is that he gets drunk and loses his virginity to someone who is not that girl - like, he likes this girl, and has a good connection with her, and she likes him, and he knows that its gonna be comepletly consentual, and she's like fucking beautiful right? - and she's the one he wants to loose it to and he's a stupid fucking idiot and loses it to some fucking random ass chick that doesn't even go to their school - This triggers a spiral. After that? He slowly starts giving less of a fuck abt everything. He fucked up the one thing you can’t do over and god he’s so painfully aware of it and so painfully aware that he didn’t even fuck up right. - You’re supposed to wait till marriage. Nope. You’re supposed to do it with someone you love and trust. Double nope. He. Fucked. Up. - its just like he wanted to do something bad. he wanted to fuck something up. he was questioning his faith, his like, great and sturdy and always-there faith for the first time, and what better way to test faith than to do something shitty and see what comes of it. and so he was planning and planning and planning how he was gonna do this terrible thing - which is such a good kid thing to do, to put so much thought into your own rebellion - but he wanted this to go perfectly. - Little Pastors Son, Punz, wasn't gonna wait till marriage. - He was gonna have sex with the girl of his dreams before they were even dating - but man did he like her. Did he want her. - And then he fucked some random girl when he was black out drunk. He's fucked everything up - he can't wash this away with confession - he's tainted. He's dirty. - He looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the heathen staring back. - He hates who he's become. - But he never goes back - he can't. He's dirty. He's wrong. - but the more he goes down the spiral - the more he realizes that one mistake shouldn't have made him feel like that - that if god was real, which he honestly wasn't sure in that department, he wouldn't want Punz to feel like the scum of the earth for doing something wrong. especially when he felt so bad after he did it. This system was fucked. He didn't want to be apart of another cycle - and he's just lying to himself every time he goes to church, and reads a cerse for his mom, and meets with younger kids at the church, and plays flag football with fucking church virgins who are good catholics and follow all their mommas orders - And every night when he says grace he means it less and less. he always does it when his momma asks, but boy does the lords word mean shit to him anymore From Ethan: - A turning point to the others in Punz's breakaway from Catholicism is like - He prays before he eats, usually. Sometimes they wait for him to finish his prayer before eating themselves, just out of politeness. He's a friend, he gets that shred of etiquette - And then one day he just doesn't. They got some fast food for a whole group dinner out at their hangout spot (a warehouse, did you say??) Tommy is staring at it intently but he waits for Punz to pray. Tubbo's already started eating but the rest wait - And Punz just starts eating - Dream nudges him, "No prayer, Pastor's boy?" - "No prayer," Punz mumbles into his food. "I'm trying something new." SO, TOMMYS DAD LOSING HIS JOB ARC W000000000 - it starts with Tommy showing up in a different jacket one day - like you have to understand, he's worn this jean jacket every single day for as long as WIlbur has known him, which is like 6 years - Like Tommy shows up in this giant, khaki work-jacket and it's his dads... - HIS DAD DIDNT DIE - his dad lost his job, which is essentially death to a family who already couldn't sustain themselves - and Tommy shows up to school, face pale and cheeks sunk in and there are visible bags under his eyes - and Wilbur just rushes over immediately and hugs him so tight to his chest - and Tommy just sobs, "pops lost his job -" gasp "I can't - we can't pay the bills this month. everything - its all falling apart Will." - "Hey - hey. Stop. It's gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay. You always are dude." - Tommy does have to get a job - and he probably does drop out of school unofficially, like he just stops going. - he sleeps during the morning classes, and heads into work at 10am - he's a carpenters assistant. it pays well as they need young, able men. but most of the younger citizens in the town go to school - he has to take the day shift because the day shift pays better - he doesn't mind it, he doesn't - it gives him the opportunity to get all of his energy out; but he misses going to school. as much as he hated it, he misses his friends. - and lets be honest, its hard as fuck for his dad to find a new job, he doesn't have a great resume - he didn't graduate from highschool. and he isn;t in top health condition, he definitely doesn't have health insurance - so Tommys stuck with this job for a long time - his dad uses his last paycheck to buy Tommy workboots so tommy feels in debt to him - He’ll get his GED eventually. - I think - The like religious status of the rest of the group brought to you by me - Everyone who I don’t mention is just a hard atheist - Karl and Wilbur are catholic, but to a lesser extent, Wilbur doesn't really go through with lent, and Karl only sometimes does. They go to a different church and go pretty much on holidays only, a sunday a month maybe. - SapNap goes to Punz's church, they've been friends for years. - He goes to sunday school but misses a lot of sermons because of his siblings sports games. - He is involved, but not to the way Punz is - SapNap's mother is in fact in Punz's moms bible group - Punz sometimes doesnt attend the bible group and Sap's mother is all "now you tell that pastor's boy to actually attend next time, got it?" and Sapnap dies a little on the inside - And George is an orthodox christian, but he's pretty much quit due to the blatant homophobia he's seen at his church. 

AND NOW ON WILBUR SOOT AND KARL JACOBS AND BARKING - Wilbur has siblings, fun fact - that we will never talk about or address - but definitely nothing like Wilbur, more the Karl Jacobs type - Wilbur is the oldest. he's always lectured about being 'a good influence on your brother and sister.' - They’re big sports kids. Softball and Basketball (tall genes). Straight Bs; Bed by 10pm; Have never missed school - Parents pride and joy :) - Just good suburban kids, Have friends next door, help the neighbors, attend the cul-de-sac barbecues. - Basically who Wilbur used to be up until highschool (until Wilbur met weed and a good group of stoners) - Sure he was a disappointment and he had no clue what to do with his life - But he was happier - Never really liked being the goody- two-shoes boy next door, he doesn't know how karl does it “Playing good boy like a dog” - Also he used dog terms around Karl - Because he’s “Playing good boy like a dog” - He’ll throw Karl a beer and smile “go fetch” - He laughs so hard when he sees Karl be good in a class or play it up for his parents; Because Wilbur’s so past trying - Wilbur will walk by and just bark at karl. Bet. Just Growls lowly; Walks in a  circle; Anything to make Karl’s parents (or Wilbur’s own) stare at him and scurry away - Karl’s parents push Karl forward and like hold their younger kids close to their chest, whispering “keep close, don’t look at him” - They tell Karl to stay away from kids like him. - And boy do Wilbur’s pa#rents hate it, They push him along and whisper yell at him As he throws his head back and cackles - I mean imagine, like a stereotypical middle class suburban family: House wife, blue collared father, Two kids; in sports jerseys, Girl in braids, boy in khakis - And then there’s Wilbur: Doc Martins, black jeans, collar and sweater, beanie. Definitely high on something - Chains LOTS OF CHAINS - And he's Barking. Fucking Barking At the nice family down the street - And then he takes out his vape right in front of his parents and silently offers Karl a hit with a smirk - Cause Karl’s too busy playing good boy - And as Karl’s family looks back, as Wilbur is corralled by his mom - He flips them off with the biggest smirk uou will ever see - Wilbur's kind of an ass - And Karl really wants a hit of that vape.

[ready-to-obeyme]

starlight (Lucifer/MC)

For @dazatsu for the Obey Me Secret Santa for 2020. I hope this fic of mine makes you smile at least once! :) I loved thinking up of the prompt for your secret santa, so I hope I did your aesthetics and preferences justice! I tried including both of your faves and ended up focusing on one. 

Feel free to message me on discord or on my personal @epiphyllous.

Happy Holidays! :)

Summary: It’s been a few days or so since you’ve returned to the human world to attend your university classes. Missing you, Lucifer decides to give you a visit, (with Belphie tagging along) hopefully without being seen, just to check up on you. 

Or so he planned. He never could have anticipated how much he actually misses you. 

notes: gn!reader, College Student MC, sfw, (sorta) established relationship, pining

--

Be patient, Lucifer tells himself. One semester: four months, or even better, fifteen weeks. Lucifer would never admit it to anyone else, but he counts the days until you come back to the House of Lamentations, occupy the room that is now too quiet for comfort, and sit at your seat at the dining table and laugh with all of them again.

The first week after you leave to attend university classes, he keeps his brothers in line, making sure they keep on going to RAD classes instead of spending the entire day moping over your absence. Not that he didn’t miss you, because, of course, he did. At the best of times you were like a buoy in a stormy night, and at others, you were a comforting presence at his side who taught him how to laugh again.

But you had promised to come back, and he had promised that they would be waiting for you when you did. Lucifer prides himself on control, so in control he would be.

Or so he would have been if he had not already planned to ‘check-up’ on you in the human world at the end of this week. 

(He tries not to think about the fact he has caved in only one week after you’ve been gone, but demons are weak to temptation-- so he forgives himself, just this once, because it is to see you.)

To anyone else, especially his brothers, he’s visiting the human realm to take care of human exchange student documents. Only Diavolo, and Barbatos by association, knows why he’s actually settling the last piece of his paperwork prior to his trip. Diavolo had only given him a wide smile, but he is embarrassed to be so evidently transparent to his old friend. (It would have been even more embarrassing had Barbatos had been there to receive the news, so Lucifer is thankful for that at least.) 

With everything in order, his brothers threatened to do well in class while he was gone and too distracted to notice the real reason he’s so eagerly planning a trip away, Lucifer heads out the door.

Belphie is waiting for him in the doorway. 

“You aren’t planning to go by yourself, are you?” Belphie says with a leisurely smile, and Lucifer can only sigh.

.

.

“Oh, sorry-- er, Pro-Professor…”

Lucifer watches as another student meekly ducks past him, skittering away with their head ducked low until they merge with their group. He can hear snippets of what they’re saying, and he isn’t sure what to think when all the comments have been on his attire. It didn’t dawn on him when he first walked onto campus grounds with Belphie in tow, but with the glances he’s been given and the attention he’s been garnering despite his attempts to stay hidden, he realizes how strange his outfit must be when compared to the rest of the population. 

He sighs and crosses his leg on the wooden bench they’ve perched themselves on, turning towards his youngest brother when he hears him laugh. Belphie gives him a sleepy smile that does not hide any of the amusement behind it. “Those people think you’re a cosplayer,” he says to Lucifer, pointing to a group of students who were looking at the two of them. “From an anime about vampires or butlers.” 

Lucifer looks down at his fur-collared coat on his shoulders and gives it a slight tug. “Ah, I suppose the coat is a little bit ill-suited for the weather, isn’t it?” He huffs when Belphie gives him a deadpan. “I jest, Belphie,” he says, crossing his arms (regally, in a way that only convinces everyone who watched him that he was playing in-character). “I understand clearly now that my ‘casual’ attire is not the norm for this university campus.”

“Or any other campus,” Belphie mutters. “People have been saying your vest makes you look like you part-time at Olive Garden… wherever that is. You should have just dressed like me today.” And Lucifer cannot argue with that sentiment, considering how well Belphie fits in with the university atmosphere and environment with his long jacket worn over his tee. If he ignores the comments on his own attire, Lucifer can hear the whispers of awe and even admiration at the cow-printed pillow that Belphie has brought along with him today to ‘comfortably sleep in class while he waits for you,’ or so he has explained to Lucifer.

“I’m not sure how I would pull off the university-look you so excel at,” Lucifer says exasperatedly. “I doubt it would…” Just as quickly as he cut his sentence off, Lucifer jumps to his feet, quickly dragging Belphie by the pillow (much to his complaints) to hide behind a particularly bushy shrub. 

“Ugh, let go of my pillow, you’re going to stretch it out--”

“Shh, be quiet,” Lucifer snaps, glaring at his brother who only stubbornly looks back. “I’d rather not be caught sneaking around on campus when we’re not supposed to.”

“Wait, what? Aren’t we here to see them?” Belphie retorts, “Isn’t this the whole point? Wait, unless…”

Lucifer can feel the tell-tale heat on his ears as warnings of an oncoming blush and wills it away with a scowl, daring Belphie to finish his thought. As expected from his free-spirited and equally willful brother, Belphie does anyway.

“You didn’t tell MC you were coming, did you?” Belphie says, and as much as Lucifer is happy to have such a cunning brother, he wished Belphie were otherwise at the moment. “That’s why we’ve been hiding around trying to find them rather than just having them ditch class--”

“I would not make them ditch class--”

“--and spend time with us.” Belphie pauses. “Why didn’t you just tell them we were coming?” 

In the corner of his eyes, Lucifer sees you walk down the crackling pavement-- backpack on your shoulders, skin a healthy glow (thank Diavolo), and eyes as bright as ever-- and Lucifer’s thoughts trail to a stop. His gaze follows you as you walk past them without notice, and he thinks to himself that a human like you truly does belong to a place with the sun, because you are as radiant as starlight.  

Lucifer looks back towards Belphie who had fallen silent, only to fight back another bout of embarrassment as Belphie stares back at him with a knowing, mischievous gleam. 

“Let’s grab a seat in their class,” Belphie says, standing up easily and walking the same direction Lucifer watched you disappear into. Just when Lucifer thinks the gleam is only from the sun, Belphie continues, his voice dripping with saccharine, “Just so you can watch them a little more closely.”

Lucifer sighs, less inclined to argue when they have little time to catch up with you. (Though even if he did have time, there was not much to say when nothing Belphie said was wrong.)

.

.

Looking back at the conversation now, Lucifer wishes he did argue, just a little, because maybe then he would feel better upon watching in horror as Belphie sleeps beside him in class only five minutes into lecture. 

After following you, they had picked inconspicuous seats in the back row of the lecture hall (with these tiny, little tables-- Lucifer doesn’t understand how anyone could write on these), hoping to remain unseen by you who sat a few rows up in the middle. Based off the scattered, quiet laughter that surrounds them, Lucifer thinks that their choice in seats was a moot point now. 

“Belphie. Belphie,” Lucifer hisses, nudging his brother’s leg in hopes of stirring him awake. “Lecture just began. How are you asleep already?” 

“S’fine,” Belphie mumbles, waving a flippant hand. “We don’t even take this class.” 

From behind them, Lucifer hears someone quietly whisper ‘legend’, and it takes everything in him to not bury his face into his hands and make themselves even more noticeable. He sighs, but regardless, he looks forward, spotting the back of your head almost immediately in a sea of students. Ever so often, he would see your head dip down to look at your laptop and up again to read the slides that were presented. The movement is repetitive, most likely reminiscent to how you would also be in a Devildom RAD class, but for some reason, watching you focus and intently study in your university classes makes it very evident how often he finds himself proud of you. 

And he almost feels guilty for following you on campus. After all, he did make a promise to be there when you came back after waiting patiently for you, and it was not as if you left happily. If anything, you had hoped to stay-- but your future awaits, and so you promised to work hard to get back to them as soon as possible. Perhaps he should keep to the promise you had made to each other-- oh. 

Lucifer watches as you lean down to rummage through your backpack, and he almost feels his heart stop when he sees your D.D.D in your hand. Your fingers scroll through something: Past texts? Your gallery, perhaps? Regardless of what the reason is, Lucifer feels something warm spread within his chest as he thinks that maybe you had missed them (hopefully even him?) just as much as they missed you. 

What he does not expect is to have his phone vibrate with a text from you. 

>> Are you busy right now?

Lucifer is thankful that Belphie is asleep because he does not see the way Lucifer fumbles to get his D.D.D out and text with his heart at his throat. 

<< Not at the moment. 

He pauses. 

<< Is something the matter?

The response is quick.

>> No, nothing is wrong! 

>> I’m just in class right now and ngl it’s kind of boring.

Lucifer buries his chuckle into his fist.

<< And here I thought you had an emergency.

>> :crying emoji: This IS an emergency. I’m DYING

>> of BOREDOM

>> Save me, Lucifer!!

<< I will not be an accomplice to distracting you during class. 

He’s already enabling you by responding, so it’s not exactly the truth, he admits. But he does like the way you tilt your head as you are wont to do when you find something amusing. 

>> Darn, okay I tried

>> I just

Lucifer watches as the text bubbles stay on screen, and he waits for your upcoming message when the people around them stand up, putting their laptops into their backpacks at the end of the lecture.

>> I miss you guys

He looks up to see you standing up, D.D.D. in hand, head down and fingers still over the screen. After a moment, you type something else and lock the phone, putting it into your backpack before heading down the aisle to leave the class. 

Your last few messages pop up.

>> Class just ended so I’ll have to go study at the library but

>> I just wanted to say I really miss you

>> Hope you’re doing well

>> Love you. 

“What are you waiting for?” 

Lucifer turns toward Belphie, whose violet eyes are still bleary from sleep but whose words are as clear and succinct as ever. He yawns before continuing, “Go after them. Let me know when their classes are done so we can actually do something together.” 

At this, Lucifer feels his gaze soften. “Yes, I’ll let you know,” he says, standing up and walking down the path to the door. “And, ah, Belphie…” He waits until his youngest brother looks up from his pillow before telling him with a small, wry smile, “Be sure not to get locked inside the classroom when all the lectures finish.” 

.

.

After a few mishaps, Lucifer manages to ask for the directions to the library most commonly used by the student body. The first few times he tried, his language was too formal for anyone to truly believe he was asking for direction. “Who are you cosplaying? Can I take a picture with you?” was thrown at him numerous times. “Am I being pranked right now? Are you a youtuber?” was also asked at him twice-- which was not often, but it was strange that it happened that many times. 

Eventually, someone had, after watching him cross his arms indignantly, given him the instructions to the library. It was only when he was walking up the steps to the building that he thought that everything would have gone much faster if he had only demanded directions and hypnotized a random student into telling him. But he imagined that if you ever found out, you would not be pleased, and that-- if anything-- was the one reason why he resisted the urge to. 

Lucifer walks into the air-conditioned building and searches for you. It does not take him long until he sees you, sitting at one of the desks in the library, laying your head on your arms, fast asleep.

It is around three in the afternoon, the sunshine filters through the ceiling windows and scatters across your desk, showering you in a flurry of light, and Lucifer thinks he was a fool to ever think he could bear to not see you for a moment longer. 

The seat beside you is open, so he sits there, watching the moving sunlight dance across the hand you placed near your face. Your chest rises and falls evenly, and for a moment, you clench your hands but do not wake, seeming to dream of holding onto something instead. It takes all the self-control Lucifer could muster to not take your hand in his. Instead, he drapes his jacket over your shoulders, careful not to let it fall off, and watches as students filter in and out of the library in the hustle of academic life. 

Lucifer isn’t sure how long he waited, surrounded by tall shelves of books and aisles of encyclopedias, but you start to stir, waking up and wincing at the sun in your eyes in a way that has him smiling in amusement. You first grab onto the jacket that had started to fall off your shoulders, and upon realizing that it did not belong to you, you look up to see Lucifer, smiling fondly. 

“Lucifer?” 

Lucifer can feel the side of his eyes crinkle at the sound of your voice still raspy from sleep. He sweeps away the lint on your shoulder as you sleepily gather up his jacket into your lap. “Whatever happened to ‘studying in the library’ as you told me?” He says teasingly, smile widening when you fluster and laugh nervously. 

“I-- you know… I was taking a break and,” you start to say, pausing only to look at him accusingly, much to his amusement. “Wait, forget about that! How are you here? Why are you here?” 

“I’m the vice-president of the student council-- I’m able to be wherever I please,” he tells you, and you huff at how smug he sounds. “As for why I’m here, it’s to check up on one of our human exchange students, of course… is what I would say.” Lucifer leans forward and gently caresses your cheek with his thumb, unable to push the affection that bubbles forth as he sees your hand press over his. “But I also just wanted to see you.”

Lucifer hears a cough from behind him and feels heat rushing into his cheeks at the (quite frankly) polite reminder that he was in a public space. He retracts his gloved hand and clears his throat, hoping that the moment is enough to clear away the pink that has undoubtedly found its way onto his face. He expects you to tease him, as you often do whenever you have the chance. When it does not come, he glances back to you, only to feel his heart squeeze at the way you look at him: your eyes softened, lips upturned gently, and gaze adoring in a way that made it seem like you believed he had hung the stars.

(If there were any more ‘coughing’ to remind Lucifer that they were, in fact, still in the library instead of their own world, neither of you take notice.)

“I missed you too,” you say, summing up his feelings in the simplest way that only you could do. You take his hand into yours and gently sway it back and forth. “Thank you for coming to visit me.”

It had been a good idea, after all, he thinks, to indulge himself for once and come see you if it meant he could hold your hand like this again. “Belphie was hoping you would give us a tour of your university,” Lucifer says softly, sweeping his thumb over your hand. “If you were done with classes.”

He feels you squeeze his hand in response to his affection, and his heart soars even as he listens to you speak. “Belphie is here?” You ask, surprised. When he nods in confirmation, you laugh. “Did he catch you when you were leaving or something? Threaten to tell your brothers if you didn’t take him along?” 

Lucifer doesn’t answer you, preferring to huff instead, though he can’t deny that he is pleased that you can know his brothers’ behavior well enough to hit it right on the money. “He opted to sleep in the last lecture hall you were in rather than go on the wild goose chase I had to find this library. Is nobody at your university unable to fathom that someone would wear something slightly more formal to class?”

“Yup,” you reply easily, grinning at him. “But it’s okay, I like your outfit. It’s very you.” You pause. “Also, we can always go shopping later, though, so people can stop staring at you. And also to buy some souvenirs for your brothers!” Your eyes brighten as you think, and his heart melts at the fact that his brothers are in your thoughts. (For as much as he wants to have your attention, he finds that the love you can give to his brothers is as equally enjoyable to witness.) 

You hum thoughtfully, “I think Beel might appreciate some food from this new restaurant that opened up last week. Maybe Levi would like something from the cute Japanese store down the road? Oh, and face masks for Asmo!”

“I’m sure they’ll be happy with anything you purchase for them,” Lucifer says, making you look up at him with a smile. And he wants to reach out to cup your face again.

Ring ring!

The both of you glance at your phone when it plays a tune, and as quickly as the alarm goes off, your hand is there to turn it off. Lucifer looks at you questioningly before you sigh.  “I have class in about ten minutes,” you say apologetically.

“Is that so?” Lucifer says, standing up from his seat. “Then I shall accompany you.” He extends a hand in askance for his jacket, only to give a huff of laughter when you only stare at him incredulously. “Is it that much of a surprise that I would like to escort you to your classes? Unless, of course, you would prefer me not to--”

“No!” You duck your head down, looking around quickly, much to Lucifer’s amusement, before lowering your volume. ‘No, I mean,” you fluster, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

Oh, how Lucifer wants to press a kiss to your forehead, but to save you (and himself, though he thinks he no longer has anything to lose) the embarrassment, he settles for easy laughter as he wraps his jacket around himself. You follow after him, pushing in your chair and lugging up your backpack, your laptop securely inside. 

“Shall we go then?” he asks, holding out an elbow for you to hook your arms with his. When you slide yourself close to him and walk down the steps outside the library, he realizes that this is the many things he has missed since you've been gone. Your hand is a comfortable presence on his arm and your footsteps are aligned with his as you walk in tandem to your next class. He briefly thinks about his brothers, most particularly how Mammon would bluster about their proximity, or how one of the romance novels Satan would have described this very situation he was in: walking alongside someone dear to him on a campus that does not seem as big when you are together.

Your hand squeezes his arm gently before you guide him through hallways and pathways. When a crowd of students bustles past them at the end of lecture, he feels you inch closer to him. 

“It’s a lecture hall, not a discussion class,” you start to tell him, much to his confusion. You laugh. “They won’t notice you’re not part of the class, so you can sit next to me.” You lower your hand and take his hand in yours.

Lucifer squeezes your hand comfortingly as the last of the previous class files out. “Try not to be too distracted by my presence,” he comments and cannot help the upturn of his lips when you shoot him a withering look he does not have to see to know it has no heat behind it.

Among other glances and subtle affection that you provide him the rest of the day convinces him fully that there has never been a better decision than to visit you. When the two of you finally meet up with Belphie, who had been asleep on a nearby bench, the night is spent out following you as you guide them around campus and at the nearest hub of entertainment. 

In the end, you do collect enough gifts for all his brothers, even sneaking a small present into his hands with a sly smile on your face.

And when he returns to the Devildom after a long, long farewell where no one wanted to leave, he provides his brothers with their souvenirs (after they stopped complaining to him about going off to the human world with only Belphie). He tugs off the coat that now lingers with your scent and places the gift you had purchased him onto his desk-- a little trinket that he can now look at and remind himself of you, with eyes of starlight and laughter as warm as the sun.

He thinks of the last message that you sent him and sends you a response.

<< I love you too.

<< Until next time. 

[theotherace]

Fic Recs: Taang

I’ve made two or three rec lists over the past few months, but I thought I’d make a proper, comprehensive one that’s easy to add to in the future. Not all of these are exclusively Taang, but they all feature the ship to some degree. I will only recommend one or two stories per author, but some profiles are definitely worth checking out further. So! Here goes.

Multi-Chapter, Complete

Whisper Into the Sky by damagectrl – Toph has two choices: Go home and get married or have the family fortune and her inheritance given to a stranger. Her problem: She wants to keep her ties to her family, but is quite content traveling with Aang. Her solution: Fight her way through suitors for her freedom. Literally. | General 

The Slow Path by Tazmainian Devil – Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind. | T

A Matter of Honor by Adridere – Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. | M

Roommates by breeeliss – An unlikely tale of two unlikely people being forced to live together under unlikely circumstances.| Modern AU | T

Fall of the White Lotus by Boo-82 – Three years after the war Zuko is living a life of duty while Katara reluctantly travels the world with Aang. So, when General Iroh orders them to find Zuko’s mother and save his Order they seize the opportunity with both hands. It’s the beginning of an adventurous journey of discovery, but as time runs out a rising threat puts their bond to the test. | T

Half Asleep by The Crushinator – Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin’s dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams… | T

Yaaburnee by aviatordame – Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom. | M

Getting Lucky by roca-dos – Crazy things happen in college every day. | Modern AU | T 

All Fall Down by DJNS  – Aang copes with a tragic loss and finds renewed hope in an unexpected place. | M | Warning for Major Character Death

The Princess & the Badger-Cat by panaili – In a land never torn apart by the Hundred Year War, the sixteen-year-old Avatar Aang is trying his best to keep the balance between the four nations, including the increasingly antagonistic Fire Nation, which, despite his friendship with the Crown Prince Zuko, refuses to acknowledge him. Elsewhere, Sokka and Katara have been separated on their quest to find their missing father, and Sokka, pursued by the same bandits who kidnapped his sister, finds himself on the balcony of some rich girl’s house in Gaoling. Oh, and a sorcerer has turned him into a badger-cat. It’s just one of those days. | Teen and Up

Reborn by Jakia – Life. Death. Rebirth. This is the cycle that all spirits must abide to, even the Avatar. Aang and Toph face death and the reincarnation cycle. | T

New Girl by tiffaniesblews – After coming home early from a business trip, all Katara wanted to do was surprise her boyfriend, Jet. Imagine her surprise when she got home and Jet was in bed with another woman. Not wanting to live with her ex, and unable to live with her best friend, Suki, Katara takes her brother Sokka's offer to move into his loft with his two roommates. Aang is perky and sweet, the owner of a st. Bernard and a cat, who's often confused about his direction in life. Zuko, on the other hand, is a closed-off bartender, who takes some time opening up to others.The four could not be more different, and yet? They work out perfectly. Even if Katara's feelings for Zuko get a bit more complicated as time goes on. | Modern AU | Mature 

The Ties That Bind series by LdyKirin – An exploration of the ties that bind for good and ill. Toph and Zuko are both shaped by the family they were born to and the family they choose. Lots of found family feels. | T

What Happens In Kyoshi by BlackVelvetBand – Prince Zuko, and the GAang take a vacation on Kyoshi Island. Flirting, fighting, and embarrasment ensue as Sokka takes it upon himself to defend Katara's virtue...in a dress? A short,chaptered fic featuring Zutara, Sokki, and Taang. | T

Under the Night Sky by mycomfortblanket – Aang hears the chattering of teeth during a cold night. Was an AU that I found on tumblr that I made fit into this story. Orginal prompt: "We have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we are complete strangers | General

On The Precipice by JoyDragon – They’re just best friends. Or maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being something more. | General

Oneshots, Complete

Air and Stone by Wolvenfire86 – A few Taang stories munched together. My first submissions. I hope everyone likes them. Please review, it makes me feel special. | K+

Taang Week 2020 series by teabagginses | Teen and Up & Mature

Our Little Secret by IrisPlumeria – Toph and Aang, sat next to one another dressed in their finest under paper lanterns and surrounded by copious amounts of food and friends, cringed at the disgusting noises coming out of Sokka’s nostrils as he blew his nose into Suki’s handkerchief. “I can’t believe two of my best friends are finally married!” Sokka sobbed, earning a supportive pat on the back from Suki, who didn’t flinch at the snot coming out of his nose. “I’m so happy for you guys!” Toph and Aang's family are happy for their nuptials, but will they be able to survive their wedding party without letting slip a big secret?Written for Taang Week 2020 - Tradition. | General 

All Roads Lead To Ba Sing Se by irisbleufic – "I was thinking," [Mai] said, tucking her last remaining dagger into her belt as she strode to meet him, "that it's about time I let Fire Lord Zuko know that I quit." When Kuei smiled at her, she could see the sunshine at which she once cringed."Notice that's six years overdue is better than none at all." "Indeed," said the Earth Queen, and grinned at him. | Teen And Up

Lady Fu’s Fortune Telling by Lady Cleo – Katara and Toph visit the local fortuneteller to get their fortunes told. Added a part two with Zuko and Aang. | T

The Perfect Companion by Morna – Aang seeks comfort outside of the arms of his wife, Katara. Taang, slightly lemony. | T

Box by JoeMerl – Written for Taang Week, one-shot. Toph ticks off Bumi, but Aang is willing to fight his old friend tooth and nail to get her out of trouble. Humor, light romance. | K+

2 am by shmulia – Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara's shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. | Modern AU | K

And its sequel, 11:45 – House parties aren't Katara's thing. Sokka's drunk, Suki's on a mission to set her up, and Toph is... well, Toph. But for every cloud there's a silver lining, and for Katara it comes in the form of a second chance with her neighbour... | Modern AU | T 

Treat by PsychEmpress – She felt the corners of her own lips quirk as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Consider this my treat,” he said and Toph allowed a smile to break out. OR In which Toph is a stressed architecture student who gets a free cup of coffee from the handsome waiter after she helps his friend. Taang. Mentions of Sukka. | Modern AU | T

Sawaru by metacognitive – This love is simple. Non-Korra compliant. | K+

Newlyweds (and basically everything else) by PandaCookie – Everyone’s a bit hopeless right after they’ve been married. | K+

Rhythms by xcgirl08– For now, though, her child’s heartbeat was hers to contemplate. | K 

Tenderness by Adridere – He wanted to keep her, even though he was not supposed to. He promised her freedom, and she promised him sanity in his own household. She kept her part of the bargain, but he found a way not to keep his. | M

Holy Matrimony by Loopy – After their marriage, Zuko and Katara deal with conflicting religious beliefs, and look to the friends for advice. Between the Zutara and the religious satire, every single person who reads this should feel offended. | General

Blind Maiden’s Grace by Adara_Rose – You can learn a lot of things from a flower… | Not Rated (I’d say General) 

Etched in the Earth by Dance_Elle_Dance – She knows the feel of Aang’s footprints better than her own, and that reality scares her. | Teen and Up

No One Asks About The Scars by voleuse – Write about how you learned to curse in order not to be cursed. | General

When in Rome by dtmars – She wasn’t stupid. She knew what she was doing and what she was getting herself into. They both did. | Modern AU. | Explicit

Like Real People Do by DerAndere – The moon is full and bright when he falls out of bed, awake, asleep, inside a dream, and starts walking, driven by the feeling he does not understand, tugging on him relentlessly, and he is Aang, and he is not, and the world is cold. | General | Full Disclosure: This is my story.

Meet Me Under The Table by avatarfan16 – A story of how Toph and Aang find love, in the most unusual of places. TAANG | K+

Aftermath by Zaram'delar – In any celebration, there's always one or two people with a habit of disappearing. Taang drabbleish series. | T

I Choose Dare by for_darkness_shows_the_stars – An ode to how Aang, under the power of a mighty temptress, was forced to grow a beard. Oh, and the birth of his first child, too, he supposes. | General Audiences

Multi-Chapter, In Progress

Heartbeat by AngelicBee – Avatar Aang's soulmate probably died 100 years before, but he can't help but feel she's closer than he thinks. | Teen and Up

a mighty ocean (or a gentle kiss) by poweradequeen – no, the title doesn’t make sense but i don’t care. i couldn’t think of one so now you’re stuck with a cheesy line from two by sleeping at last.it’s a taang fine arts university au. because i said so. | Teen and Up

Neither is Love a Cage by cali-chan – Love is the freedom of flying accompanied. It is letting be without possessing. PG-13 (possibly M later on), drama/romance/angst, Zuko/Katara + Aang/Toph, post-finale but diverges before LoK canon.

Operation: Zutara (REVAMPED) by dtmars – Everyone could see that those two were in love with each other. Everyone except for them. So Toph takes the initiative and fills in for Cupid to give them a little push, while Aang just tags along for the ride. | Teen and Up

Taang One Shots by stitch1830 – A collection of short stories about Toph and Aang that I've had saved in my notes for a few months. Stories are in the ATLA/LOK universe (not canon compliant), and typically revolve around their relationship and family. | Teen and Up

[collecting-stories]

Blue Lagoon - ep. 01 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: Ward announces a family vacation while being the absolute worst and you meet Rafe for the first time. 

A/N: Can’t believe I’m making a Rafe series...super nervous about this one. If you like the first chapter and wanna be tagged let me know! (Also, all the chapters are named after beach cocktails). This is a re-write of Chapter 1!

Holiday in the Sun Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Thirteen had been a tragic year. The year of braces and that terrible hair cut that could only be described as the love child of a bowl cut and a mullet. Your best friend had taken scissors to your hair and you had regretted it ever since. It was the year of hoodies and basketball shorts and more layers than Billie Eilish. The year you fell and busted up your face so bad that you suffered through vacation with a bruise the size of Texas on your jaw. The year all your friends caught up to you but you were still taller and your boobs were still bigger and you still felt more awkward. 

The worst thing about thirteen though, had been the vacation. It was the first time your mom had decided to do a joint vacation to the Bahamas over break. You were thirteen and an absolute tragic mess and already so embarrassed just by your existence and then she flew you to the Bahamas to spend Christmas with the Camerons. 

And if Rafe wasn’t already so attractive and beautifully self-assured; fifteen and already tall and funny and you felt arguably worse about yourself in comparison to him and his sister. But especially him. And part of that was entirely because he’d been so nice. You were fully prepared for him to treat you like every other kid at your school treated you but he didn’t. He was so nice to you and you’d spent a vacation that you thought was going to be horrible having an incredible time. 

But that was the last of the joint family vacations, your mom focusing her time on her new job once you’d gotten home, so you were surprised when she proposed the idea again your junior year of high school. 

“The Bahamas?” 

“Over Christmas...with the Cameron’s.” Your mom replied, barely looking up from her notepad. 

“Oh uh, okay,” there wasn’t much else you could say. She wasn’t about it accept a no from you and yeah, the last trip had been fun, but that nervous insecurity ate away at you from the moment she mentioned it. 

You certainly weren’t the tragic thirteen-year-old mess that you had been back then, and maybe that should have inspired some confidence but instead you were just nervous. If you had gotten arguably better than what did Rafe look like? Probably even more gorgeous than he’d been before. One of your friends suggested trying to find him on instagram but you didn’t need any more anxiety pre-vacation so you avoided the possibility of seeing him before you really saw him at all.  

-

It was Rose who first suggested the little change of scenery for the New Year. Winter break was fast approaching and Ward was at the end of his rope with his oldest and Rose, in an ill-fated attempt to make his exhaustion work for her, mentioned the house in Nassau. Late at night, while Ward sat in his office trying to calm his nerves with a bottle of scotch. He’d been woken by a call from Peterkin that Rafe had been arrested, the third time in two months, for driving under the influence. He didn’t ask what his son was under the influence of and he almost left him in lockup for the night but he got dressed, picked him up, and drove him home in silence. Something had to change and then Rose broached the topic of a vacation. Of course it came with a catch, as everything with Rose seemed to do.  

“Dad,” Sarah groaned, looking up from her homework when he announced the trip over breakfast the next morning. “you can’t be serious?”

Ward had come down to breakfast, calling Rafe into the kitchen where Sarah and Wheezie were already eating. He didn’t hate Rose’s idea, even the part of it that benefitted her need to show off, and he decided not to waste time telling his kids the news.  

“As a heart attack Sarah.” He replied. “It’s been a busy year and I think this is exactly the kind of family trip we all need right now. Take some time away from the island and our,” he looked across the room at Rafe disdainfully, “more objectionable pastimes.”

“It was one DUI.” Rafe said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He was still a little hungover from the night before and the weed he’d just been smoking had his eyes bloodshot. He would’ve really loved to get some sleep but just as he was starting to doze off Ward was banging on his bedroom door.  

“And it would’ve been your third if Peterkin didn’t owe me a favor. I’ve only got so much clout Rafe, I can’t keep bailing you out every time you decide to do something reckless. Your choices-”

“Reflect the family.” Rafe replied, “I know.”  

“Then you’ll know this isn’t up for discussion. We’re going to Nassau in a week.”

All of them missed Wheezie’s groan as she laid her head in her hands. The silent onlooker to her family’s revolving door of drama, Wheezie’s role was that of mediator, instigator, and observer, but she wasn’t granted the privilege of an opinion.

“I’m supposed to go to the Keys with Scarlett!” Sarah mentioned, as if it mattered, “why do we all have to be punished just because Rafe screwed up?”

“I didn’t screw up Sarah, I was barely drunk. Shoupe was just trying to give me a hard time.”

“Oh, of course, our mistake.” Ward replied, “the world is out to get you. Do you know where your classmates are right now? In college. Yale, Harvard, Duke, even NCS...and where are you? That’s right, sitting at home every day, smoking weed, wasting my money.”

“I said I’d do some work for you.”  

“Because this is what I want representing my company? You can’t even get out of bed before three in the afternoon most days.” Ward snapped, “take this vacation as an olive branch. And when we get back start thinking about what you want your life to look like because any more ‘wrong turns’ and you can forget the nice stuff and the free room and the bailouts.”

“Dad!”

“That’s not fair to me and Wheezie!” Sarah piped up, repeating her earlier argument, “why are we being punished?”

“Don’t rope me into this.” Wheezie commented. She wasn’t going down with this ship. At least not yet.  

“I hardly think a week in the Bahamas is a punishment Sarah.” Ward replied, “now, is it possible to get through this without any other objections?”

“Can I invite Topper?” Sarah asked, “you said Rose’s friend is coming with her daughhter so I don’t see why I can’t invited someone.”

“Rose’s friend?” Rafe asked, looking up from his phone.  

“Yes. We’ve been on vacation with them before. You remember? He daughter is a year older than Sarah I think.”  

“Yeah,” he nodded, the slightest smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.  

“Can I invite a friend?” Wheezie asked.

“No.” Ward said.  

“If Sarah gets to bring someone why can’t I? That’s not fair!”  

“I’m done with the arguments and backtalk. We’re leaving in a week. If Dr. Thornton says Topper can come, he can come. But I’m not a babysitting service for you and your friends Wheezie.”  

“Sarah always gets to-”

“Louisa!” Ward snapped, hand hitting the marble countertop. Sarah’s eyes went wide and Rafe looked up from his phone, standing up a little straighter at the notable anger in his father’s voice.

“Sorry.” Wheezie shrunk down in her seat, looking away from her dad.

“Now, do you think it’s possible that we can all get through this without any more arguments? We leave on Sunday. Since I have actual work to do, unlike any of children,” Ward said, looking over at Rafe, “I’ll be in my office.”

All three of them stayed put as they listened to their dad’s footsteps as he headed upstairs to his office. Sarah got up from the table, grabbing her phone and heading outside to call Topper while Wheezie still sat there looking close to tears for being yelled at.  

Rafe put his phone down on the counter and crossed the kitchen, putting his hand on his sister’s back and rubbing small circles. “Hey, no worries, okay? I’ll hang out with you on the trip.”

“You’ll just off with Topper and Sarah and I’ll be stuck with Rose while she day drinks.” Wheezie muttered, rubbing at her eyes.

“I promise Wheez, I won’t ditch you.”

“Okay,” she looked up at him, holding her hand out, pinky extended, “pinky promise?”

“Yeah, pinky promise.”

-

The week went by faster than any of them wanted it to, Sunday creeping up too soon. Trips to Nassau were usually staggered. Ward might go with Rose, or Rafe and Sarah went with friends or Ward took Wheezie, but they never went altogether. A family vacation hadn’t happened in almost four years.

Rafe could remember the last trip. Sarah had brought Scarlett because, once again, she was their father’s favorite child. Ward told Wheezie she couldn’t bring someone, pretending that she was too young but Sarah had been twelve and she’d been allowed to bring someone. Scarlett was a nightmare on vacation and an absolute bitch to you, Rose’s best friend’s daughter. Rafe had spent most of his time with you just to avoid his sister and Scarlett but he’d actually had a great time. Probably the last great time he had sober.  

On Sunday morning he stood at the back of the SUV, helping his dad load it up for the drive to airstrip.  

“Alright, do we have everything we need to go?” Ward asked, looking toward the house as Rose came out with her biggest suitcase rolling alongside her. “Rose, it’s a week for godsake.”

Sarah leaned out the window at her stepmom before sharing a look with Rafe, rolling her eyes. Rose caught the look and frowned. “Sorry all my clothes aren’t the size of Malibu Barbie and require a little extra space.” She said, glaring at Sarah.

“Here we go!” Sarah swore.

Ward took a deep breath, “just get in the car. Please.” He passed the suitcase to Rafe before following his wife around the side of the car, “and Sarah, behave.”

“Are you kidding me? She literally started it. I said nothing.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”  

Sarah groaned, sitting back in her seat, “this is the stupidest vacation, why do we all have to go?”

“Sarah!” Ward shouted, “not another word! Some of you are lucky that we’re all going since you certainly don’t deserve a nice vacation.”

Rafe shut the door as he climbed in the backseat beside Wheezie, “am I supposed to say thank you?” It didn’t surprise him that somehow his dad yelling at Sarah had turned into his dad taking a dig at him.  

“It’s beyond my comprehension how I managed to raise such incredibly spoiled, ungrateful children.”  

“Sorry dad,” Sarah muttered.  

“Well I won’t wait for the other two apologies.” He said, looking in the rearview mirror at them. Wheezie had her airpods in, staring down at her phone, “this one probably can’t even hear me.”

Rafe nudged his youngest sister and she looked up, “huh, what?” She took one headphone out and looked around the car but Ward had already changed the subject.

“Is Topper meeting us at the airstrip or am I supposed to be picking him up?”  

“He said he would meet us.” Sarah replied, slumping in her seat as they backed out of the driveway and headed to the airstrip.  

“You know Sarah,” Ward mentioned, always happy for an opportunity to dig for a dig at Rafe’s expense where he could find one, “I really do like this young man. He’s very responsible. It’s a shame my own son couldn’t be so disciplined and mature.”  

“This is gonna be a great vacation dad, you were right.” Rafe piped up.

“You can save the snark Rafe.”

The only thing quieter than the rest of the drive to the airstrip was the flight to Nassau. Quiet and awkward, so much so that Topper spent the entire trip too tensed to even move, aside from his knee bobbing uncontrollably. None of the Cameron kids seemed to notice the unease or they were all so adapted to it that it didn’t seem to affect them.  

Ward had eased up on the commentary and Rafe was silent, hoping he wouldn’t have to listen to anymore of his father’s opinions if he just stayed quiet. He knew that wasn’t the case but it was working so far. Rose was too engrossed in her phone to bothered with any of them, Sarah and Wheezie taking up similar approaches to the flight.

-

“You know we could be taking a private plane to like, Paris or something right now? Wouldn’t that be kind of incredible?” You asked, reaching for one of the bagels that your stepdad had laid out on the table.  

“The Bahamas are equally incredible,” Your mom piped up, smacking your hand and making you drop the bagel, “eat some fruit, you look bloated.”

“I’m not bloated mom.”  

“Well, you're either bloated or pregnant and let’s not hope it’s the latter.” She snarked, pushing the bowl of fruit closer.  

“Thanks mom.” You rolled your eyes, “and thanks so much for this vacation when I was supposed to be in Ptown with Ben.”  

“Ptown’s not going anywhere.” She replied. “Try to be positive, remember what Dr. Nygaard said, try not to decide the outcome of an event before it happens.”

“Thanks for that inspirational advice,” you said, “you should get it printed on a t-shirt.”

Your mom had announced the trip not three days after you had committed to going to Provincetown with friends for Christmas. You’d paid for a fifth of the house that your friend group was renting for the week only for your mom to announce that you had to cancel. Rose had invited her (and you and your stepdad) to the Cameron’s Nassau house and she had accepted, effectively canceling any plans that you had. There was no chance of arguing the point with her, if she said you were going then you were going. And to be fair, part of you kind of wanted to go, just for the opportunity to see Rafe. Though it was for that same reason that you were really dreading the chance to go to.  

-

The Cameron’s landed at the airstrip in Nassau an hour after your family had already arrived and your mom had taken the liberty of renting two SUVs for the week. When Ward did land, Wheezie pressed her face to the window, looking out at the private port. “Who is that?” She asked, not recognizing Rose’s friend or her family.  

“My friend LeAnn, you remember we went to Nassau with them last time.” Rose replied.  

Your mom nudged you, a silent jab meant to tell you to turn your phone off. You were only making yourself more depressed anyway, seeing that your friends were having a great time while you were stuck on a family vacation.  

Rose waved as she exited the plane and your mom waved back enthusiastically. “LeAnn, I’m so happy you could make it!”  

“Thank you for inviting us,” your mom said, hugging Rose before looking to Ward, “we always talked about vacationing together again, I’m so glad it finally worked out.”

“Oh me too,” He replied though it sounded half-hearted.  

“It’s so beautiful here.” LeAnn said, looking around as if she hadn’t had the opportunity to before, “didn’t I tell you how nice it would be?” She asked you.

“Yeah, it’s super warm here.” You made a point of moving your hand up to block the sun, squinting behind your sunglasses and scrunching your nose.

“Don’t mind her, she was going to spend her vacation in with friends but she’ll get over it.” LeAnn said, excusing your behavior.

The rest of the family, Rafe, Sarah, Topper, and Wheezie, caught up with Ward and Rose, bags in hand and ready to get to the house. Wheezie avoided introductions, a quick wave before she headed straight to the second car, putting her airpods back in as she did. Rose ignored her daughter, going through a round of introductions anyway, as if you had all completely forgotten each other. As she pointed to Rafe you looked up from your phone, your eyes meeting his. Four years since your seen him and that same familiar pull in your stomach was still there when he smiled, like butterflies erupting. It lasted only a second as your mom spoke up and you turned to look at her.  

“I can’t believe how old you both are now! And Wheezie, the last time I saw you all you were just kids.”

“Well it’s been four years mom.” You pointed out.

“I know how long it’s been.” She said, glaring at you. “I guess we’ll see you all back at the house right?”

As everyone piled into their respective cars, your stepdad offered up the backseat if anyone wanted, noting that they had four people to get in the back of their car and your family only had you. Rafe looked at the back seat as Sarah climbed in, bag still in his hand as he slowly stepped away from the car.

“If you don’t mind?” He said, catching your attention.

You stopped what you were doing, hand hovering over your bag as you stood there at the open trunk, your stepdad answering Rafe, “not at all, hop in.”

He nodded, coming around the back of the SUV and putting his bag in the back. You were still standing there, practically frozen as you followed the motion of his bag getting tossed in the trunk as he turned to you, “need help?”

“I can lift a bag, promise.”

“I mean, last time-”  

“The latch wasn’t on my suitcase last time!” You laughed, “I can’t believe you remember that, that was so embarrassing.” You had been lifting your suitcase onto the cart at the hotel last time you were here and dropped it on the ground, the latch popping and spilling your clothes and belongings everywhere. The worst of it being Rafe picking up the stuffed dog that you had brought with you. “I did bring Wilbur though,” you said, just to get a laugh.  

It worked, Rafe shaking his head at you as he put your bag in and shut the trunk door. You followed him around to the backseat and he let you get in first, sitting so close to you that his thigh touched yours. It was unnecessary, since there was plenty of room with just the two of you, but he acted like he didn’t even realize it.  

“Sorry you had to give up vacation just to come here.” He whispered, turning to look at you.

“And miss the opportunity to hang out with you for a week?” You asked, grinning.

-

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[kkeidawrites]

I’d love Alucard with butter cookies lol. I was thinking maybe a modern au where the reader and Alucard work together in a cafe. The reader doesn’t really think he’d be interested in her/really shy, but he obviously is and asks her out on a date. Your blog is forreal a godsend!!! It can be so frustrating reading fics when you can’t relate to the appearance. For example, “pale porcelain skin and straight blonde hair.” 🙄 Thank you for being so inclusive and giving black/poc readers a space 🧡🧡🧡✨

Thanks so much for the kind words @lalaliaaa, it really means a lot to me! It’s no problem, I try to put on my tumblr as many black writers on my blog to ensure you guys to check them out too!

Yeah, I understand that wholeheartedly, when people write fanfiction about black people or any other person of color and they put “he caressed my pale skin and touches my blonde hair, with kisses to my red cheeks” it makes me so mad. Like why would you write something that is clearly not on any black features.

I want people to know that people can write fanfiction while using black or poc characters and that also include characters who have illnesses and different body types, they should be comfortable writing them as well.

It’s frustrating to say the least and very inappropriate.

One order of butter cookies, coming up!

Butter cookies-Random AU

*******************************************************

It had been a couple of weeks since you had started your new job at the cafe down the road from where you lived and you just needed a bit more pocket money to pay for your college classes.

Since you started working, there was a beautiful man who worked with you at the front of the cafe. The prodigal son of the famous Vlad Dracul Tepes, and Lisa Tepes the best doctor on the countryside, Adrian Tepes or to many who know him as Alucard. What made him begin working here was unknown to you and the other staff members of the cafe.

His father had a multimillion dollar business and his mother ran all the hospitals in the country and here he was working at a minimum wage job, in a little town.

Well, at least it wasn’t too bad you guess, because ever since you started the cafe was always busy with customers just to see the gold haired man.

His position as a server, made him almost not be able to do his job because, men and women were basically keeping him from delivering orders.

In a way you envied him, he was handsome, had the perfect hair, the perfect physique and his voice would make anyone melt.

To others, you were plain looking, muddy brown skin, kinky hair that was so hard to manage, boring brown eyes and a body that had little to no curves. Who would even turn your way?

Unbeknownst to you, you did obtain the attention from a certain golden eyed beauty. And he was smitten hard as hell.

Working as a stocker for the cafe, already ensured that you wouldn’t be seen to the public eye and you preferred it that way because, no one could bother you.

However, one day, as you were putting away the frozen pastries in the freezer, you heard the door to the back open and you didn’t dare look up, you still had twenty minutes left on your shift and you wanted avoid any human communication to finish up.

“Y/n?” You heard his voice call you and you froze your work to look up at him. His golden hair was pulled into a low ponytail and he had his apron on his arm. He had a smile on his lips and you straightened your legs to stand up from your crouched position on the cold floor.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit?” He asked.

You suddenly felt self-conscious and turned to grab another box full of frozen pastries to put in the freezer.

“I’m sorry, but, I have to finish these two boxes and get home to study.” You told him as you reached inside the box to pick up for packs of cinnamon buns.

“...I see, but,” his hand reached inside the box and gently grasped your hand in his.

“I wanted to at least see your face before I went home for the day as well.” He says and you look at your two hands. The contrast of your skin colors mixed so well together. You felt your cheeks heat in a blush and you looked up to see his golden eyes staring at you, his beautiful smile still on his lips.

“I must admit, within the little time we have worked together, that you have captured my heart, Y/n and I would like to formally ask you if I could take you out for dinner?”

You felt your brain stop functioning and repeated the question in your head several times to ensure that you are not imagining him saying these words to you.

“You...want...to go out with me? W-Why?” You ask him and he tilted his head in confusion.

“Because, I think that you are beautiful,” he uses his free hand to caress your hair as he continues to speak. “And I believe that you are the most kindest person I have ever met. I also love the little things you do and for others around you. Helping when you can in the front of the cafe, taking your time with new people who work here and being so friendly to others around you.” He chuckled softly.

“You have entrapped me with your kind heart and I want to get to know you more.” He tells you.

“I thought you didn’t like me?” You ask.

“Such a thing to say. I have always favored you more than the others. And that also includes Bitchy Vicky.” He says and laughs.

You felt your heart soar at his words and gave him a small smile.

“Frank’s burger bar? Friday at 8?” You asked him and his smile widened.

“That sounds perfect.” He raises your hand to brush his lips against hand and leaves the back with one more look over his shoulder at you that sent shivers down your back.

*******************************************************

There you are! Fresh and out the oven! Like and reblog and be sure to get more cookies!

[confusedlamp]

Mental Health Strategies

I have dealt with various mental health BS (anxiety, depression, ADHD), and while I haven't gotten it all figured out, I have been dealing with it for well over a decade now. I figured I would make a list of coping mechanisms that have helped me and are worth trying out if you haven't already. None of these things are “magic” (just try this and your brain will be all fixed!),  and obviously not applicable in all situations. I mostly learned these via therapy or from other people struggling with mental illness. This also may or may not be to help me have a list of things written down for when I forget. 

Putting this below a keep reading thing because this got long FAST: 

For depression funks:

-Find a small task you can complete. Wash a dish, throw clothes in the hamper, take out the trash, etc. Something small.

-Take a shower. And try changing clothes. Even if it's in to some pajamas. If you aren't up to showering, try washing your face and maybe wiping down with a wipe. But a change of clothes will still feel better.

-Eat something. Doesn't have to be "healthy." Some food, no matter what it is, is better than no food.

-Can you get outside? Doesn't have to be to excercise. Just sitting on the front steps for a few minutes in the sun.

-Doing something to take care of yourself. Can you brush your teeth? Have a glass of water? Brush your hair? Just pick one thing and so it.

-Plan something. See if you can get a friend to meet you to hang out (or zoom) or maybe for dinner. For yourself, maybe find a movie to go see (post pandemic). Preferably find something that has a set time.

For panics:

- Square breathing. Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, breath out for 5, hold for 5. Repeat.

-There are a ton of meditations on youtube. Search "5 minute meditation" and you'll find a ton of videos.

-After the initial panic is over try calling a friend. If you can't for some reason (sometimes it's 3 am or your friend isn't available), try finding some cat videos on youtube. I highly recommend Cole and Marmalade. Something light that will get your brain on something else.

For Executive Dysfunction:

-Remove steps to putting things away. For awhile in school, I would have a mess of papers that weren't organized or put away because I was trying to use a binder. As silly as it sounds, having to neatly align paper holes or got find a place to punch those holes, would prevent me from putting things away. So I switched to folders. Suddenly I stopped losing things and my papers were organized.

-Bullet journaling. Or rather, I just have a little notebook where I put all my to do lists, grocery lists, project planning, brainstorming, etc. I don't properly Bullet Journal (TM) but I keep all my lists in one spot and it helps.

-To do lists in general. Writing out steps to get something done. Cross things out when you finish them. You get a better sense of accomplishment.

-When executive dysfunction is preventing you from getting out of bed, break it down. Step one, sit up. Step 2, swing legs over side. Step 3 stand up.

-Same with any task. If it seems too overwhelming or you just can't bring yourself to do it, it might be because you are looking at all the steps and feeling it's too much. So just think about the first one.

-Alarms and reminders. I put everything on a calendar in my phone. Google Calendar allows you to set a reminder for events days, weeks, hours, and minutes ahead. You can also set alarms for things like "I know I need to leave at 3 for the appointment, so I am going to set an alarm for 2:45 to start getting ready." Do not rely on yourself to look at the clock. YOU WILL NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK IN TIME.

-Set the dang alarm clock across the room. That way, you gotta get out of bed to turn it off. Once out of bed, go take any meds, or if you don’t have meds, go do a small morning task. Usually doing this small task is enough to get me awake enough to not get back into bed. If I do, well, at least I have taken my meds. 

Sensory Issues:

- Fitted sweat pants and hiking pants. I can’t stand tight clothing, but I want to look presentable. Sweatpants that taper can still look decent. Travel pants or hiking pants (you can find these at places like REI), basically look like slacks but are made out of stretchy material. They also usually are made out of quick dry material which is nice. 

-Fidget and sensory toys. I really like hedgehog rings which have these little spikes on them I can run my thumb over. Also the tangle. I have a tangle that has a rubber coating that has little bumps on it. What you end up liking might differ, but those are two of my favorite. Also, if anyone gives you shit about these, you can explain “it’s sorta like a stress ball, but instead you [whatever you do with this fidget toy].” 

-Ear plugs. I wear these a lot because I have particular issues with sounds, especially certain ones. I prefer either silicone gummy ones or I like these that are “slim” because they don’t make my ears hurt. You can also get musician ear plugs that are made for musicians to protect their hearing, but still be able to hear tones and what is going on, for when sound is simply too load (also good for concerts). 

For General ADHD things: 

-Work somewhere different. This is a bit limited due to the pandemic currently, but just working at the kitchen table instead of your bedroom can help. In college, I used to go to the library to work. Just the idea that I was going to someplace specific to do a specific task, helped me actually get started. 

-Promise yourself that you will work for 10 minutes. Set an alarm if needed. Usually just starting will make the task seem less intimidating. If 10 minutes is too much, do 5. 

-Cardio. Get your self moving. This is good for a lot of things, but I highly recommend it for before you have to sit down to work on a task, like school work. I personally run, but if that’s not your thing dance, a class, walking, biking, etc. Just whatever you like. 

-Time dependent things are good to get yourself going. Again, this is limited by the pandemic, but for normal times, can you meet a friend for breakfast? Can you schedule your appointment so you have to get to it before you start work? When I was in college, I used to go to morning gym classes before my first class of the day. This got me up and if I was 5 minutes late, it was better to do that for a gym class than a physics class. Bonus because it was exercise and I could focus better on the class. 

-In classes, try to find a notes buddy or study group. That way, if you zoned out a moment, you can ask them for the notes from that section and vice versa. Also, meeting up with them is a great way to have a set time to study. 

For General Anxiety/ Depression: 

-This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but: Make a list for what you are good at. Things you like about yourself. Things you have accomplished. They don’t have to be super deep, but can be. Do you like your nose? Can you paint your nails well? Are you good at understanding your cat? Are you good at writing? Drawing? Did you overcome a bad test and still manage to pass a class?  If you have a friend or significant other that you are comfortable with, ask them to help maybe. Keep this list for when you feel like shit. 

-Yoga. I’m sorry to put this on here because it seems like the most neurotypical advice, but. I honestly love this shit. If you haven’t given it a shot, there’s a reason why people like it. You don’t have to belong to a gym to try it. I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne. She has some great beginner videos. 

-Take breaks from social media and news as needed. Seriously. You are a single person and can’t fix everything. Do what you can (share the information, make a donation, join in mutual aid efforts, etc.) but doom scrolling and obsessing won’t help anyone. If you won’t do it for yourself, consider that burning yourself out will make you unable to help later on. 

-Create things. They don’t have to be amazing. Crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing, etc. Having something that you can look at and be like “I made that” is really satisfying. Youtube has some great tutorials for pretty much anything. For drawing, I really like Proko. He has some great videos on drawing faces. But again: IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE GOOD. 

General Resources/ Advice:

-If you are currently in college, most campuses will have groups for counseling and even limited one on one sessions. Usually, these counseling groups are free and the one on one sessions can help you find a counselor nearby. 

-How to ADHD. Seriously I love this youtube channel. She goes over how ADHD affects the brain and has seriously helped me understand it better. 

-The Trevor Project. For LGBTQ teens and youth. They have a hotline and many other resources.  

-If what is stopping you from getting therapy is the idea that you are being dramatic/ are not that bad/ others have it worse: Go get therapy. What are we going to do, find the one person who has it the worst off than anyone and only they are allowed to feel bad and get help? Screw that. Get some help. 

-Remember that there are good things in your future. Where ever you are in life, you have something positive in your future, even if you don’t know it yet. One day, there will be a moment when you look back on the dark times and be so glad you didn’t give up. 

-Obligatory: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  (1-800-273-8255). This is national suicide prevention lifeline, for the US. They can help. 

-https://www.crisistextline.org/ For when you don’t like phone calls, try texting instead. Has US, Canada, UK, and Ireland numbers. 

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

[draken-rotzi]

Bug Man x Reader Part One*

Read on AO3

SO, wanted to write something of this topic bc we all need some more Musical!BJ in our lives, it’s a nice comfort ngl, I enjoyed writing it and hope you do too c:

(Got carried away so here's the first half while I edit the second one in the meantime, it takes a bit to get to the main part we all want to read forgive mE it's better in th next one believeme)

I'd love some feedback since I haven't written anything since 2019 ;v; some wordings might seem odd since my brain speaks spanish first english second

Summary; Old boring university life and a broken but hopeful heart meet the supernatural and whacky demon/ghost with the most, reader-chan needs to get out from a toxic relationship and what's a better help than a magic dead man? Cutting ties might seem easier when someone else arrives and flips your world upside down with no warning.

Mostly fluff, bits of angst l8r

Female reader, but tried to not give any other specifics to the character themselves, OCs appear

It was a fresh autumn afternoon, birds still chirped before migrating to warmer areas for the winter, the wind was cold but nice, not yet freezing but enough for people to wear light coats. You sit on a school desk, a class about taxes and fees, you drift off a bit looking at the window while half-listening.

You lived in a medium but popular city, it was a great place, with nice, kind people for the most part, huge malls, restaurants and lots of places to go out with friends or alone.

...

"Miss ___? Care to answer this equation here for the class?" The teacher asks, a tall, slender woman that radiated authority, it made some students shiver in times like this with a direct question.

"Oh? Yeah- sure miss Adams" You replied, while trying not to look confused since you just missed the topic, hopefully you remembered from the last lesson by the time you walked up to the blackboard and took the marker to write.

...

After class, you were walking with your friends to the cafeteria next to the main exit to wait for an uber to arrive; your side job as a freelance wasn't good enough yet to afford a car, but it helped pay the bills and to have enough for a bit more more than the basic needs.

Your two best friends at college were Itai and Rob. Itai was a funny dude, with a darker tone on his skin, not so tall and full of charisma. Rob was a bit more collected, but still a lot of fun to be around, being the voice of reason for you three most of the time, emphasis in most, because sometimes he got carried away too.

"Man I hate that class, I don't understand a thing! Why do we even need math?" Itai tells the group, sounding annoyed as usual, he was a simple guy, but simple guys need a degree too, to secure a better job.

"Well if you paid attention instead of eating that cold baguette in class you won't be that confused my man" Rob replies, laughing a bit at the end

"At least you weren't asked to do math in front of the class" You sigh, putting down your backpack and sitting on a table next to the building's exit, looking at your phone to know how much time was left for the driver to arrive, around 10 minutes.

"Yeah everyone felt so bad for you, but hey, if you’ll be daydreaming at least look at the front instead of the window next time, it might help you" Rob said while opening a bottle of apple juice, his favorite, he wouldn't drink any other thing, he was probably 60% apple juice after years of drinking it that often.

A few minutes passed by, the three friends chatting about the day's events, their plans for the weekend, and how to get the next assignment done. A figure appeared behind you putting a hand on your shoulders.

"Well hello ladies!" A man chirped, you turned around laughing softly

"Hey yourself!" you replied "Already off?"

"Yeah I've got the last hour free so I'm gonna head out to Kris' place, we'll play some games and work on that big project I told you the other day"

"Great, have fun! You say hi to Kris from me yeah?"

"Sure thing, see you later!" He says with a squeeze of his hand on your shoulder, then a quick pat on the head, turning around to leave.

"Bye, take care Nick!" you say as the man walks out of the cafeteria's door waving a hand.

Silence lingers for a bit until Itai breaks it

"Hey so, you're still going out with him?" He says with a crooked smile and a nervous look, Rob has a similar expression

"Yeeeah... it's been okay for some time now, you know? Hah" You look down for a second, pondering "Maybe this time is the good run?" Uncertainty fills the question, but you still smile to your friends.

Nikolas wasn't the model boyfriend, at least not for your friends; he was full of sweet words, hugs and kisses, only in private places though. When it came to the campus he treated you just like any other friend.

There was a small reason, according to him, he wanted to wait a bit more to make it public, get to know each other better, just to be certain from both sides.

That was the excuse a year ago.

It wasn't like he was out and flirting with other people, not at all, but one could expect to be treated like a love partner after so much time and moments together, you’ve gone to the movies, to dinner, to each other's houses, hell your families knew you two were dating, it just wasn't more than the bare minimum from him, seemed more like a thing someone does if they have free time, not make time for that thing, the thing being the relationship.

It seemed to be only a problem of neglect and apathy, probably, though you were so dumbly in love with him at first, you have been hoping and asking for a change since the relationship escalated to more than just holding hands and light kisses.

"I don't think anything's gonna change, he's been stalling for a whole year now" Itai mumbled, looking at Rob, he nodded in agreement

"Yeah, just dump him already, you deserve way better, you give him everything you got and he just throws the leftovers at you."

"I guess, but we're going out this weekend! You know he doesn't like going out often"

"With you" Rob adds

You hesitate a reply, it was true, most of the times you asked him to go out for a change, he was either too busy or decided to change the event the same day, turning it into a make out session in his house every time. Even though you saw each other 2 days every week, you have seen him go out with his friends more often, on actual enrichment outside activities.

"I know..." you sigh " I'll think about it, I'll try to talk with him about it next time”

Both of your friends let out a small groan of annoyance, they knew you weren't gonna do it, or that he'll just brush it off as always, between the lines of 'oh you're overreacting'

"Ah my ride's here!" You got up from the table and grabbed your backpack, tossing it over one shoulder.

"See he can't even give you a lift to your place!" Itai teased, they knew how you felt about the whole situation, but joking around sometimes made it a bit less bitter.

"Ha-ha, you know we live in opposite ends of the city! Besides none of you give me a ride either" you said while sticking a tongue out on your way outside the cafeteria

"Yeah because you live at the ends of the earth for some weird reason!" Rob joked back

Everyone said their quick goodbyes, and after a calm ride back home you remembered something just as you were locking the door, tossing your backpack into the living room’s couch you walked over to your room.

You flopped onto the bed, looking at your phone you opened some pending messages on the family group chat, apparently a distant relative of yours had died, and the family was gonna hold a small funeral tomorrow morning on the local cemetery, you didn’t enjoy those kind of events since you’d get really emotional, but since it was something really small, no more than 20 people, it was private and most likely no strangers would see you cry over someone you barely knew.

Tomorrow was saturday so it was okay to spend one free morning humoring your family.

After some mindless browsing on your phone, it was already 12:30am, you haven’t even got off your sneakers since you got home, you did a quick self-cleanup in the bathroom, tossing today’s clothes to the side to change into an oversized shirt with no pants as a makeup pijamas, it got a bit warmer in the afternoon so you wanted to enjoy wearing something light before winter fully arrived, getting under the sheets and you were out fast, maybe from all the overthinking of what’d tomorrow might bring, you’ve forgotten what are funerals like.

But there was certainly no way you’d know what would happen at all the next day

...

The event was simple, thankfully there was not much crying, seemed like everyone accepted already what had happened, some kind of illness you heard, at least they weren’t suffering anymore and they’ve come to terms with everyone close to them, that was nice you thought, it sure felt a bit heavy in there, as usual for funerals. After the ceremony, the family offered a barbeque in the departed’s honor to bright up the mood a bit; right at the cementery, maybe it was cheaper than renting a place for it.

Free tasty food was something only an idiot would decline, so you spent some time doing small talk with the relatives you knew best, but still you mostly just listened and ate in silence.

You saw a glimpse of color and movement out of the corner of your eye, since everyone was wearing dark tones it stood out, turning your head there was just an empty plastic table with some half-full plates and glasses, still, you felt a shiver up your spine, it was probably the weather.

When you looked back at your phone's clock it was already 6 pm, guess dad jokes and food made time fly, you said your goodbyes and condolences to everyone and headed out, you were still at the cemetery, so you had to call a ride back home, the driver dropped you near a convenience store just around the corner of your apartment, since you needed to buy a snack for dinner, on sundays you usually had takeout, so no need to worry much about it right now.

_______________________________________________________

“I know I didn’t imagine anything, that breather saw me at the cemetery! we even locked eyes for a second! It may work this time, just gotta get closer while they're alone”

_______________________________________________________

…

Walking down the street, humming a bit to some music and a bag of snacks in hand, dusk started to set, some stars could be seen and the sky was a beautiful fuchsia tone with oranges and purples mixed in the clouds. On instinct, you took your phone out of your jeans pocket to take a picture of the cute sky.

Just as you took a couple of pictures, to make sure at least one was good to share, something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye again

You felt a shiver like a cold wind out of nowhere, similar as to when a car drives a bit too close to someone on winter, but there was not even one driving car on the street.

"Oof, should get back now, it's getting colder" picking up the peace to get home faster-

A piece of paper slapped you in the face

“EW- wind trash” you muttered while grabbing what seemed to be a flyer, and it flew indeed.

You naturally took a closer look at it when you took it into your hands and out of your face, it was a very faded print, with an image of an… insect? man? holding a hammer over a small house and people, you chuckled, it was a funny irony cartoon, a bug crushing people.

Half of the flyer was unreadable because of some liquid or dirt, already dry but you couldn’t read what was supposed to be, written under the drawing was the end of an ad;

“Ghostly services one name away!

RESIDENTIAL - INDUSTRIAL - COMMERCIAL

Call BETELGEUSE

BETELGEUSE

BETELGEUSE!”

“Betelgeuse? ...Like that one star?” There was that shiver again, Halloween was a week ago, so this kind of paper seemed normal to be hanging around with the wind.

As you walked down the street, some lights started flickering, the cold wind seemed stronger and the sky was a deep dark purple now, strange, it was supposed to be clear dark blue by now, fall nights came quickly this time of the year, still it didn't feel like the usual night. You were just around the corner of your street when the closest light bulb exploded and zapped with a loud 'CRASH', making you stop for a second cowering from the shards

"What the-!? No one told me we'd be getting winter thunderstorms sooner what the eff" muttering swears you made a run to your apartment, scurrying for the door keys in the process, lights kept flashing and the wind made windows sing a high 'oooo' noise, you have seen this kind of weather before but no one would like to be outside when it happened, nervously and quickly you finally fit the key in the lock and opened the door, hurrying inside and closing it behind, a loud bang thundered through the silent room, the unexpected storm slamming against the walls and windows, you left the lights on before going out.

After a minute it seemed to calm down, wind turning into a breeze and the sky now it's usual black, no stars in the sky.

You let out a sigh and walked to the counter to drop your keys, the phone and your purse, you had to make sure all the windows were closed for the night, luckily it was Saturday, so no need to go out tomorrow on that crazy weather.

Windows secured, you changed into your winter pajamas, a gray pair of pants with a pattern of a cat on toast and eggs, with a pastel blue loose shirt. Making your way to the kitchen you decided a light snack would be enough for tonight, after that run and emotion on the way back home you had no energy to cook a proper dinner, not even microwave, it was also too late for it anyways you thought.

You put the snack bowl and a cup of water on the kitchen counter, looking to grab your phone. You noticed you still had the dirty flyer, forgot to drop it between the commotion maybe?

Placing it aside and unlocking your phone screen, you opened the ‘best friend's’ chat group

You. 'Hey guys, did you get any of that weird winter storm action today after school?'

Rob. 'Nah, it was a clear sky for me'

Itai. 'Same, also I was asleep all afternoon'

You. 'Strange, I got caught on this whirlwind on my way back home from the store, just my luck I guess >:('

Both of the boys. 'Lol yea'

Putting the phone down and chomping on some of the snacks, you thought about the events, it was indeed a clear sky earlier, only a couple of common clouds you took pictures of before it. You grabbed the phone again, quickly to see if any of the photos looked good.

"Pleasepleaseplease" you muttered in excitement, it was a very cute view, hopefully one picture captured it nicely.

And they did, a couple looked stunning, you smiled, thinking at least it was worth getting your hair all messed up by the wind, you were about to delete one picture it since it was blurry when you noticed a different kind of blur, it was gray with splashes of green in the corner, similar to what you saw at the funeral.

"There was nothing green on the other pictures, was it?" you looked through the other photos and they were pretty normal, full of pink, purple and blue from the sunset.

You looked back at the flyer

"Betelgeuse, betelgeuse, betelgeuse huh" You said in a playful tone, grabbing the torn paper from the counter, you felt a shiver, a strong one this time, well that was the opposite of a calming experience, but still the word felt strange when you said it, it wasn't like you hadn't said before, Orion was a popular constellation, and the Betelgeuse star was on it; but this time the air inside had a tense feeling.

All the lights went off after a second "Now a blackout? What's with today ugh" picking up your phone to use as a flashlight, after a couple of seconds before you could turn it on, all the lights came back again, but you almost had a heart attack when you saw someone standing in the center of the living room, enveloped in a green mist.

"FUCK wh- WHO THE FUCK-" you stuttered before turning around and grabbing the closest thing to use as a weapon, a wooden spoon used for beating eggs this morning "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT!"

The figure was a man, taller than you, dressed in a striped black and white suit, dark hair with green tints at the end, a wicked smile plastered on his face, he took a look around, then back to you, endless chills went down your spine when you met his eyes, you could feel the tense aura from before growing stronger, anticipating, colder.

"Well who might I be? You should know, you called my name baby! Glad to make some business with you tonight!" He said as he extended a hand and walked, floated? quickly towards a paralized you, frozen in place, you only managed to put the spoon up in self defense from whomever this man could be, the lights were out for just a few seconds, was he inside the apartment all this time?

"S-stop right there you!" tried to threaten the man with the wooden tool, he didn't seem to notice nor care, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, then placing a sloppy kiss in your face, petrified, you shivered and gripped the spoon harder, he felt oddly cold.

...Did he just kiss you? Who does he think he is??

"No no, no stopping now! We just got started cakes, and now that you said my name three times, I can finally interact with you and everything here in the world of the living! Gotta say thanks it's been real boring being invisible for so long lemme tell ya-"

*WHACK*

You hit the man in the head with the wooden spoon as hard as you could.

...the spoon broke.

The man's smile grew wider