#might edit later

[help-i-lost-my-sock]

Electric Blue (Sanji x Reader)

Word count: 8,200

Tags: NSFW, 3rd POV, past tense

Established relationship, romantic sex, lingerie, oral (f & m receiving).

Summary: Sanji’s lady decides to spoil him, but Sanji is a giver himself.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

It was no secret that Sanji loved the finer things in life - whether they be fine women, fine cuisine, or fine couture. So what finer way than for the woman of his dreams to spoil him than to bring those things together? 

First was a five course menu served with all his friends. 

Then, a couple glasses of the finest red they had in stock, sipped at a small table on deck, with just the two of them under the bright moonlight and the myriad of stars that freckled the night sky. 

When the chilly breeze overpowered the warmth of the wine, it was time to head in. Sanji, ever the gentleman, slipped his suit jacket off and gently draped it over her shoulders, before leading her to the door. How she adored him. He’d open the doors along the way for her, and hold her hand as she walked down the stairs. Every time he looked her way she could see the love in his eyes. There was a certain glimmer in his eyes that often made his expression border on awe. That night was no different, as Sanji watched her every move, and hung on every word that left her beautiful painted lips with such ardent love and fascination that one might have wondered whether she might just be his All Blue. 

And there they were - at their bedroom door. Sanji’s hand reached for the doorknob and let the door fall open before her. Those beautiful red lips smiled at him as she entered the room, with him in tow. 

Her hands still clung to the jacket on her shoulders. It was so warm, and smelt like him - a mix of cologne, and cigarette smoke. His scent always made her feel so comfortable and safe - she practically radiated joy whenever he was around. 

Closing the door behind them, he turned towards her. “May I take your coat, ma’am?” he asked with a soft smile. 

His love turned her back towards him, and tucked her flowing hair out of the way. Sanji gently lifted the jacket off her shoulders and neatly placed it on a hanger that hung off a hook on the wall. 

Meanwhile, she went to sit down at their desk. She carefully undid her earrings, placing them in a small jewelery box he had gifted her on their 10th date. She read the inscription above the little mirror in the box - ‘No jewel can shine as bright as you’. The words never failed to bring a tender smile to her lips. Sanji was far more precious than any jewel under the sun. 

Having finished hanging the coat, Sanji turned to find her hands were just reaching for the clasp of her necklace. In an instant, he traversed the small space between them. Standing just behind her, his large, warm hands gently grabbed hold of hers. 

“Allow me, m’lady” he said, his tone warm and loving.

His nimble fingers made quick work of the dainty clasp, and he carefully removed the thin and fragile necklace from her neck. 

“Thank you,” she said softly as she turned around to face him. 

“It’s only natural,” he said as he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. 

His lips were warm and soft against her cold skin. His eyes lifted to meet hers, concern written over his face. 

“My love, you are freezing. Let’s get you in bed before you catch a cold.” 

“Yeah, let’s,” she murmured softly, a subtle smile on her face. 

Sanji gently tugged her up by the hand, and she slowly rose to her feet. Upright, she took a step forward, pushing her chest against her partner. The angle gave Sanji a great view into her decollete, now pressed flush against him. 

Her head tilted, as she looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and a small, sly smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her index finger rubbed against the stubble on his chin as she spoke. 

“I think I might need some help,” she said, trailing off. Her hands found his, and gently placed them on her sides, before pushing them as far up along her back as she could, towards her dress’ zipper. 

Sanji’s heart skipped a beat when he noticed the look in her eyes as she moved his hands over her body. He wasn’t quite sure what he’s ever done to deserve a woman like her, but he certainly felt blessed. 

He couldn’t help but trail his hands up and down over her form a couple of times. There was a choked gasp when he realised how unusual and intricate the sensation beneath her dress was. Had she been wearing it this whole time? The thought made him swallow dryly. 

A sly smirk tugged at her lips as she saw the realisation dawn on his face. She tucked her hair out the way once more, making sure there’s none left near the zipper. 

“Could you help me… out of this dress?” Her voice feigns innocence, but the look on her face betrays her intention. 

She could feel Sanji’s hands travel up to undo her zipper. He was slow, and gentle, as usual. He took his time, savouring the sight of the soft material falling apart to reveal the beauty beneath. She can feel his breath growing ragged as it hits her skin. 

The zipper was down, her dress now held up merely by the pressure between them, and their eyes met once more. 

She took a small step back, allowing gravity to do its work. The fabric hit the ground with a light thump, revealing her final surprise of the night, and leaving Sanji’s jaw hanging. 

Sanji’s eyes travelled down her body. Her heavenly bosom plumped up in a lace push up bra of bright, electric blue. Between her breasts, shone a small, pale blue jewel. Underneath, the bra was linked by short, thin straps to a somewhat broad, elastic band that hugged her ribs. 

The garterbelt too had such a band at the top - plain and simple - before it gave way to intricate patterns of soft lace and silky bows, as they hugged his woman’s hips. 

Matching blue lace panties peaked from underneath the lace and ribbons. 

Thin straps trailed from the high waist band of her garter, down the lace, and finally down her legs, where they clasped around the tops of her hold ups. 

Her supple legs, too, bore the same broad, blue bands around her thighs. Flowing from the bands, the top of her stockings was detailed with small, but intricate floral design, similar to those on her other garments. The lace offered a small glimpse at her skin in between the fragile lacy petals, before the stocking turned skin-coloured and smooth, and disappeared into her high heels. 

She smiled slyly as she watched Sanji take in the various intricacies of her latest purchase. A drop of blood peeked from Sanji’s nose - a job done well, it seemed. 

Sanji admired her in breathless awe - the woman he loved and who loved him back, her soft touch, her honeyed voice as she calls his name, her perfectly beautiful curves, framed so tantalisingly by the killer set she went through the trouble of putting on just for him. Sanji tried to string words together to express his admiration, but it was futile. And unnecessary… For she could read on his awestruck face just how much he liked what he was seeing, and she could tell by the glint in his eyes, and the way he wet his lips just what kind of thoughts were running through his mind that moment. 

“Sanji,” she repeated softly; this time breaking him out of his trance. 

Sanji shook his head gently trying to regain his composure. “You look ravishing, my love,” he breathed against her knuckles as he kissed them softly. 

She smiled at his words. His lips on her knuckles sent a small shiver down her spine, and she couldn’t help but remember what those soft, skillful lips of his felt like on other parts of her body. 

“You can touch me… not just look, my love,” she says softly, as her hands caress his hand, running idly through his silky blonde locks. 

Sanji never meant to seem crass, nor did he ever want to rush her, and so he always tried his best to restrain himself. But when her voice sang such an invitation in his ear, who was he to turn it down? 

Sanji took her hands in his, and gently tugged them to the side. His soft lips pressed against her shoulder, and worked their way up her neck with a trail of hot kisses. He pecked her earlobe, before gently taking it between his teeth and sucking on it. 

She sighed softly at the feeling, loving the way Sanji always found a way to be both gentle with her, yet still a little rough. 

“Do you have any idea what your beauty does to a man, my love?” he purred in her ear. 

She merely gave a low chuckle, as she tilted her head back further, allowing him better access to her throat. 

Sanji’s lips trailed down her neck once more, and settled on her collarbone. His lips kissed her soft skin. His teeth nipped here and there. He sucked on her neck, just the way he knew she liked it. Then his tongue would lick the marks to ease the sting. 

She tugged at his grip on her wrists - wanting to touch him, to feel him under her fingertips, to pull his head up to her lips - and Sanji relented; instead, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

His lips trailed lower, down her chest. They found her breasts - so plump and full - so teasingly displayed in that little bra. He nestled his face between them, feeling their softness against his cheeks. Her fingers daintily brushed through his hair, and caressed his head. 

His hands traced the outlines of her lingerie along her back - every band, every strap, every ribbon, every frill. He drew in a deep breath. He swore her scent could get him high. 

“Do you have any idea what your love does to me, ma cherie?” he asked, his voice now a little deeper. 

Her hand tugged gently on his locks. She wanted him to meet her gaze. 

“Why don’t you show me?” she asked him with a smile. 

It took but a moment for Sanji to dive in and capture her lips. His hand cupped her face gently, while her hands found their way to his strong shoulders and his chest. His tongue slipped quickly into her mouth, and he could feel her smile into the kiss, as he began to lose himself in her scent and the taste of her lipstick. Their tongues danced together, growing ever hungrier for each other’s taste. His hands roamed freely over her body - caressing her waist, her hips, her ass - rubbing over skin and fabrics alike. 

Snap! His fingers hooked into the strap of her bra and snapped it lightly. When he felt her moan into his mouth, he knew what she was in the mood for that night. Snap! He snapped the waistband of her garter. Snap! There went the straps holding her stocking. 

Every pleased little moan earned her a harder snap. And every harder snap, earned him a deeper moan from her pretty throat. 

Hearing her needy sounds for him only fueled his need for her. His lips left hers - now smeared with red - and dove between her breasts, placing desperate kisses all over her exposed skin. 

One of her hands found her way on his back, and grasped at his shoulder. The other, meanwhile, tangled in his soft locks once more. 

His large, skilled hands cupped her breasts and squeezed them, before pushing them closer together as if wishing to suffocate in her softness, her warmth, her essence. His thumbs brushed over her clothed nipples. Though he could not feel them through the padding, the way she sighed and sucked her lip told him where to be. 

Sanji’s hands slipped the straps off her smooth shoulders. His hot lips placed kisses all over her chest. His hands reached up and around her, where his nimble fingers made short work of the hooks on her straps. In a matter of seconds, the bra was tossed to the floor. Released from their constraints, her breasts now captured Sanji’s every attention. His mouth was quick to latch on to her hardened right bud - licking, kissing, and nipping as he went. His other hand, meanwhile, continued to squeeze her left breast, until it was time to switch sides. His eager mouth wasted no time in giving her left breast the same treatment he had just given to her right. 

With one hand squeezing her chest, his other hand now made its way down, trailing over the intricacies of her outfit, and giving her plump ass a good squeeze. Her skin was starting to grow warmer under his ministrations. Her breath picked up, punctuated by the occasional sigh and moan. 

Sanji’s tongue ceaselessly worked her nipples in turns, while his hand, continuing to grope her ass, inched closer and closer to her core. The anticipation made her shiver - a sign that was not lost on her lover. It wasn’t long until Sanji’s long fingers went for a feel. He needed to know just how much he was pleasing her, just how wet she was for him - just how much she wanted him. 

His finger brushed against her gently, softly, teasingly… Then he stopped abruptly. He looked up at her with wide eyes, and his mouth hanging slightly as he tried to string the words together. His finger was coated in slick. The sly grin on her face - her lipstick now dishevelled out of bounds - and that subtle wiggle of her eyebrows gave him the answer to his silent question. 

Sanji could feel a thin stream of blood peak from his nostril as the realisation sunk in. He didn’t think he could have loved this woman even more, and yet, here he was, overcome with love and lust alike for the goddess before him. 

He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the blood off his face. Afterall, it wouldn’t do to smear the lady with his blood. 

“I didn’t think I could love you even more,” he whispered, as he stared down at his wet finger. His confession earned him a mischievous smile from his lover. 

“Oh?” she mused teasingly, as she gently pushed his wet digit into his mouth. Sanji’s lips parted, taking it in, and sucking her essence clean off. He hummed at the taste - every aspect of her was simply delicious to him. She smiled at the sound and let go of his hand. 

“How about you show me just how much you love me then?” she asked, a mischievous grin on her beautiful lips. She slowly turned around for him, his eyes trained on her form as she moved. Bending over slowly, she propped herself on the desk seat. The frilly lace of her blue panties parted to frame her lips perfectly, and reveal her welcoming warmth to him. Her pussy glistened with arousal, twitching slightly in anticipation. 

Sanji wasted no time yanking his tie loose, and dropping to his knees behind her. It was far from the first time eating her out, yet he could never tire of it. Sanji was a pleaser - if he could spend the rest of his life pleasuring this divine being that deigned to claim him as her own, he could die a happy man. 

He grabbed her hips and teasingly traced her folds with his tongue, making her jolt from the sensitivity. Sanji smirked at her reaction. His hands trailed 

“My gods, darling, everything about you is simply divine,” he murmured as his hands roamed over her belt - over silky and lacey fabrics alike, before settling on her ass cheeks. His breath fanned over her core, sending a shiver up her spine. Then Sanji’s fingers slipped under her straps - it was so close, so intimate, like being bound to her in body too, and not just heart. His heart thumped at the thought. 

“To think that I get to taste you…” His words trailed off. His tongue flicked over her sensitive bud, making her pussy clench hard. 

“...is more than I deserve…” He continued. His tongue dragged languidly over her wet warmth. Sanji moaned at the taste, sending pleasant vibrations up her back. 

“...and I thank you for it, love.” 

With that, he eagerly set about his work. His tongue licked circles over her clit, making her tense with pleasure. It then trailed over her folds - once, twice, thrice. With every flick of his tongue, her sounds grew more strained - more needy - wordlessly asking for more. 

Every time he dipped past her entrance, her needy core would clench around nothing, pushing out more of her essence. Every time he left her aching, she’d whine so sweetly. His tongue dipped between her folds - after all, who was Sanji to deny his lady her wish? 

She hummed at the feeling of his slippery muscle exploring her wet core. Her fingers grasped a little tighter at the little cushion on the chair. The way he ate her never disappointed - he seemed insatiable; like a parched man who’d just discovered an oasis in the desert. 

Sanji devoured her feverishly. He lapped at her juices as if trying to get every last drop into his mouth. He hummed and moaned at the taste; at the thought of pleasuring her. His sounds of pleasure vibrated against her core, adding to the stimulation. His hums and moans were met with whines and moans of her own, only spurring him on. 

His lips latched onto her clit, sucking on it just the way she liked it. He moaned softly as his tongue assaulted her little bundle of nerves in all the best, most delicious ways. 

She struggled to keep her voice down. No one needed to hear this but them… And maybe the Marimo, though that was mostly Sanji’s opinion. He’d have loved to rub it in his face… Yet, restrained as they were, their moans were enough to fill the small room. 

Her restraint began to falter when Sanji dipped a long, graceful finger inside her, easing it in, bit by bit. With Sanji now knuckle-deep in her, she nearly choked on her strained moan when he began to curl his finger, tickling that sweet spot. He curled and pumped his finger inside her as he continued to lick her clit relentlessly. 

She dipped down to her elbows, and placed a hand over her mouth, trying to tame her voice. But Sanji was having none of that, as he slipped in a second digit, and began pumping them faster. 

“Come on, love,” he hummed. “Let it out, love” he encouraged. “Let me hear that beautiful voice.” His tongue sucked hard on her swollen clit, as his fingers curled to press hard on her soft spot. And she broke… A loud moan escaped past her hands, prompting her to press her palm harder to her lips. But Sanji would not have it, as he continued his ministrations ín force. 

“Sanji,” she managed to choke out. “They’ll… hear- ah! Ah! Sanji!” She could feel a grin tugging at his lips. 

“Hmm? Let them hear us,” he hummed against her. “You just enjoy yourself, love.” 

Sanji felt honoured to be of such intimate service to a woman as precious and radiant as her; honoured to be allowed to dip his sinner’s tongue between her precious folds. And he would do anything and everything in his power to ensure her pleasure. 

“Come on, love,” he urged on. His free hand pinched one of her garter straps. “Let go.” Snap. He let go. The strap snapped against her skin, adding a pleasant sting to his words. “Cum for me…” His fingers curl and pump inside her, hitting her soft spot faster and harder. “Please...” 

The way he was working her cunt - his lips on her flesh, his tongue flicking over her clit, his fingers ruthlessly hitting all the right spots, the way he hummed against her, sending such pleasant shivers up her spine, and those dirty words leaving his pretty lips, giving her goosebumps - made it near impossible to keep her voice down. Her climax was approaching fast. She was panting as she felt that familiar knot form in her belly. Her moans grew louder, as her walls started clenching harder and faster around his fingers. Sanji could tell she was close. 

“Come on, love. Let go,” he urged again. His voice was low, and deep. There was that certain tone he only ever got when they were alone together. He knew it drove her wild. 

Her voice was growing louder - just the way he wanted it to. He snapped her garter strap again. Her walls spasmed. She could feel that knot tightening, threatening to burst. Sanji had to fight back a smirk. She was so close. His fingers rubbed her clit fast. He hummed deeply as he continued to suck and licked her clit. The vibrations rushed through her core, through every nerve, finally pushing her over the edge. 

“Sanji~” Her voice sang out his name on a broken moan as she came undone around his fingers. Sanji chuckled, pleased with himself, as he continued to finger her through her orgasm. His chuckle sent another wave of pleasure to her sensitive core, making her clench even harder around him. Her sweet sounds filled the room as she moaned and panted in ecstasy. 

Sanji pulled his fingers out of her weeping cunt. She was slowly coming down from her high, and he took the opportunity to indulge himself, and dive in, lapping at her nectar. His tongue dragged past her folds a few times, before dipping in to collect as much of her essence on his tongue as he could. 

She was still sensitive from her release. The feeling on his tongue hungrily roaming her insides once more was intense - almost too much. Her fingers clenched at the seat’s cushion. She whimpered as he continued to eat her out for a few more seconds. It was intense, but she knew he loved this part oh so much. And afterall, she didn’t mind it all that much either. She loved the way he revered and adored her. 

He squeezed her ass cheeks and pushed them closer together. His face was a mess by now - coated in her thick, glistening slick - and he loved it that way. He could have done it for days, but the way she whimpered under his touch told him that a few more licks will have had to suffice for now. 

His tongue slipped out of her once more. His hand reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief to quickly clean up his face - It wouldn’t do for a gentleman to kiss a lady while smeared so. 

Having cleaned himself up, he tossed the handkerchief on the desk. He watched her as she steadied her breath and regained her composure. She arched her back, stretching like a cat. How graceful she was in all things. Sanji rose to his feet, and she turned around to face him. Their eyes met, and they both smiled at each other - softly, gently, like the love in their hearts.  

“That was so good, darling,” she praised him. Her hand came up to cup his cheek. Her thumb lightly rubbed over his stubble. 

“Only my best for you, cherie,” he responded, while taking his hand in his once more and placing a chaste kiss to her knuckles. 

Leaning in, she beckoned Sanji to kiss her. Their lips met in a slow, deep kiss. Her hands caressed his firm chest and arms slowly, sensually. His hands cupped her face, before one of them sank to rest on her lower back. His hand was large, warm, and soothing. It made her feel safe… wanted… like she truly belonged there, in his arms. 

She pressed her lips harder against his. Sanji happily obliged her, and deepened the kiss. Her hands made short work of loosening his dress shirt’s buttons. Her hands roamed over his bare chest, feeling it rise and fall. His breathing was slowly picking up, as was hers. She paused for a few moments over his left breast. She could feel his heart beat firmly in his chest. Though it beat fast, she knew that it beat fast for her, with love, and with desire. Every time she felt his heart beneath her fingertips, or laid her head on his chest, she was reminded of just how deeply one can love another. 

She smiled into the kiss. Her hands resumed their travels, continuing on south - down from his firm chest and to his sculpted abs. His muscles tensed under her touch. Her fingers traced them slowly, feeling the way they dipped and bulged. 

Sanji licked her bottom lip, gently requesting entrance - a request she most happily approved. Her soft lips parted for him, and his tongue entered her mouth slowly. The kiss was slow, yet passionate. Sanji took his time to savour her tongue on his, swallowing the soft moans she gave him. His hands reached down to squeeze her plump ass, and he groaned softly into the kiss. 

One of her hands slipped further down. It trailed lightly over his belt, feigning to hook its fingers in it, before continuing on lower, and settling on his bulge. His hard shaft twitched in his pants under her light touch. She smirked into the kiss. Her hand applied more pressure, and began rubbing up and down his generous length. The roles now reversed, Sanji groaned into her mouth - his cock straining against the constraints of his suit pants. 

Her fingers hooked themselves into his belt, and made short work of his buckle. Then the button… and finally the zipper. Sanji made a somewhat high pitched noise at the newfound freedom. He loved it so much when she undressed him - it just made him feel so wanted. And to be wanted by a woman like her was certainly quite the accomplishment. 

His hands travelled up to cup her face. He meant to do so gently, as a silent ‘I love you’, but the way she shuffled his pants off his hips and grabbed a firm hold of his clothed hard cock, made it hard to contain himself. Sanji took control of the kiss. His lips pressed harder against hers. His mouth became insatiable. He needed her. He needed her in every way conceivable. To love, to cherish, to hold… and to fuck absolutely senseless. 

She melted into the kiss. Melted in his warm, large hands as they trailed over her body, pawing at her every curve. 

It didn’t take her long to yank the boxers off his hips. His pretty cock sprang to attention - long, thick and glistening with precum. Her thumb rubbed over his tip, spreading the precum around, earning her a grateful moan from her man. 

Their mouths parted slowly. They both looked so messy smeared with her lipstick, and a string of drool dangling between their lips. They gazed into each other's eyes. There was love and passion in them - soft as the soothing summer rain, yet wild like the storm. She pecked him on the lips once more before shooting him a look. There was a cheeky grin on her lips, and her eyes spelled mischief. 

“Sit down, love,” she urged, as her hands nudged him towards the bed behind him. 

Sanji obliged, stumbling back, his pants still around his legs. A few shuffles later, he plopped on their soft bed. His hands lingered on her form, running up and down her sides, and rubbing over the soft fabrics that hugged her curves so sinfully. His eyes, turned upward, behold her with an awe that borders on reverence. 

“You are truly majestic, my love. How a man like me could be so blessed, nobody knows,” he murmurs softly. 

She smiled and shook her head at him. Placing her hands on his strong shoulders, she leant in to plant a soft, warm kiss to his swollen lips. 

“I’m the one that’s lucky to have you, darling. And tonight I want to show you just how much I appreciate you,” she whispered against his lips. 

With one more gentle kiss to his lips, she sank to her knees before him. Her hands pulled his boxers and his pants all the way off, and he shuffled them off his feet, tossing them someplace in the room. 

His length stood firm at attention. He could feel her breath slowly fanning over it as she looked up at him. Her warm hand wrapped around his girth, her hand too small to wrap all the way around it. She smiled up at him as she slowly began pumping his cock. 

“Wait,” he said. His hand reached back and grabbed a cushion. Bending forward, he gestured for her to place it under her knees. “Here,” he said, as she allowed him to slip the puffy padding under her, “it wouldn’t do to have you kneeling on the hard floor.” 

Sanji’d always been so soft and caring towards her. 

“Thank you, love,” she murmured, giving him a warm smile. 

Sanji returned the smile, and placed a hand on her head, caressing her hair. 

Her eyes then turned to her work. His tip was still squeezing out tiny droplets of desire. She rubbed the tip, spreading it around. Her head dipped down and began pressing chaste kisses along his length, from the thick bottom, to his pretty, pink tip. 

Sanji sighed, feeling her lips teasingly kissing his shaft. His cock twitched hard when her tongue flattened against the base and traced a long line up to his tip. She teased the tip of his dick, tasting the salty cock droplets. Her lips sucked on the tip, as if trying to get more of it. Then, she set about licking along his length a few more times. It was torture for Sanji, but he was not one to complain. While eager to feel her beautiful lips wrapped around his cock, his length sliding down her pretty little throat, a part of him relished the teasing and anticipation. His fingers twitched in her hair, trying to grab it just yet, trying to keep himself composed. 

She judged how long to tease him based on his reactions - his wistful sighs, the tensing muscles in his strong legs, and the way his cock twitched so deliciously in her hand, begging for more. At last, she relented. Her eyes looked up at him as she tentatively wrapped her lips around his tip and sucked gently. Sanji nearly hissed at the feeling. She sucked a little harder, and could feel his fingers twitch in her hair again. 

Gathering some spit in her mouth, she welcomed him in her mouth, slowly inching down along his smooth length. She could hear him sigh above her. His hands now gathered her hair at the top of her head. His fingers tangled in her silky soft locks, keeping them out of her face. 

She’d made it about halfway down when she began slowly bobbing her head. One hand wrapped around his shaft, pumping him in sync with her mouth. The other hand rose to cup his balls and gently fondle them. 

He swallowed dryly and tried to hold back a whimper. This only urged her on to suck on him harder. 

Sanji’s breath was becoming shallower. His cheeks were dusted with such a pretty pink, as he looked down at her head bobbing up and down his length. Her hand would sometimes twist around his cock. Every now and then she would give him a particularly harsh suck, and he would groan. Down below, she took his sighs and groans as compliments and directions. 

His girth was generous and she would sometimes need a small break. In those moments, she would sometimes settle on teasing the soft, pink tip - sucking it, or swirling her tongue over it. Other times, she would pump his full length with both hands. Either way, she would leave him waiting for too long. 

She was quick to show him just how much she appreciated him. Removing a hand from his cock and placing it back on his sack, she dove down along his length, swallowing him whole. 

Her lover gasped at the sudden wave of warmth and pleasure, somewhat surprised to suddenly feel himself sliding down her throat. She held him there for a little while, enjoying the way he moaned helplessly above her. Sanji had always been vocal in bed, and she loved it. Trying to elicit those sounds out of him was something of a competition she had with herself. 

She began moving her head up and down again, sucking as hard as she could along the way, before releasing him from her mouth again with a lewd pop. She was such a mess as she looked up at him, all flushed and panting. A string of drool hung ‘tween her lips and his cock, and Sanji was quite convinced there were few sights more obscene than this. His cock was covered in her spit. Her once painted lips had left a red ring around the thick base of his cock, a reminder of how deep she’d gone. Sanji’s heart skipped a beat when he looked at her like that. Even after all this time, he sometimes still could not believe his luck. He felt beyond special to have such an effervescent beauty on her knees for him, sucking him off. 

She looked up at him with flushed cheeks and teary eyes. There was still that smile on her face, as if silently asking ‘Is this good enough for you?’ It was about to drive him mad. 

“You are too good for me, ma cherie,” he muttered, and she grinned, diving back down. She insisted on giving him her best shot. Even if it often made her choke and gag, it didn’t matter. Hell, judging by his sounds, the vibrations must have been quite nice for him. Or maybe it was the sound of her choosing his fat cock over the oxygen she needed to breathe? 

Drool coated her fist, and dripped down towards his balls. His breaths were shallow and ragged. His legs trembled, and she could feel his balls tightening. He was close to cumming. She could feel it. And she wanted to taste it.  

Though struggling, she tried to keep up the pace - bobbing, and sucking, pumping as needed. It was no easy task, but it was worth it to see the look on his face when she swallowed his milk. 

Sanji moaned above her. His one hand grabbed a hold of her hair, while his other hand clutched the sheets. She bobbed her head faster, trying to take him as deeply as she could without gagging too much. Her mouth threatened to suck the very life right out of him in the most deliciously zealous way. When she moaned around his cock, it was game over. He throbbed in her hand, and twitched in her mouth. His cum spurted into her mouth as she continued to pump him through his orgasm. A strangled gasp left his lips as he tried to steady his breath, as his hand slowly caressed her head. 

Once he stopped twitching, she released his spent cock from her mouth and looked up to him with a smile. His eyes gazed down at her with the most tender expression; love, admiration, and gratitude written all over his handsome features. 

She opened her mouth. His breath stopped and his body tensed with a new wave of arousal as he looked at the salty white liquid that filled her pretty mouth. She then swallowed heavily, not taking his eyes off him for a second. His heart skipped a beat as he watched her pretty little throat twitch as she swallowed his load. Her fingers came up to gingerly dab the corners of her mouth - her thumb brushing lightly against one corner of her lips, then her ring finger against the other. She was breathtaking. 

She slowly rose to her feet and placed her hands on his shoulders. His gaze followed her, mesmerised. 

“Lay back, love,” she instructed, as her hands gently pushed down on his strong shoulders. Sanji did as he was told. Who was he to disobey his lady, especially when she was being so very persuasive? 

With him flat against the mattress, she wasted no time climbing on top of him, her thick thighs straddling him. Her hands roamed every inch of his chiselled, exposed torso, as she leant down and captured his lips in a fervent kiss. 

Sanji grabbed her shoulders, pushing her upright and following suit. His hands desperately tugged at his shirt, trying to shake it off his shoulders. Catching on, she rushed to help. The more skin exposed, the better. They quickly managed to dispose of his shirt, tossing it somewhere across the room, and resuming position. Her hands pushed him back down on the bed, while his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her closer. 

The kiss was growing more and more heated. Lips dancing against each other’s, tongues exploring each other’s mouths, hands roaming wherever they could reach. Sanji ground up against her; his hard length pressing and rubbing against her slick, wet folds.

 She broke the kiss, leaving his still hungry lips hanging, and quickly  latched on to his neck, kissing, sucking, and licking down, along his neck, collar bones, and chest. 

His hands roamed her sides, tracing the smooth curves over her body. He enjoyed the contrast between her bare skin and the intricate designs of the lingerie still enclosing her hips, her waist, her legs. 

Jolting up, and arching her back, she ground her heat over his cock. She moaned at the friction, and panted lightly as she smiled down at him.

“Ready for the main course?” she asked.There was a frenzied look on her face as she looked down at him - anticipation, no doubt. She could feel him twitch against her. 

“Oh, I could not be more ready,” he rasped, as he reached up to cup the back of her head and pull her down in an ardent kiss. His free hand reached down, and positioned his cock at her entrance. She was practically dripping for him. He prodded her entrance, always making sure she wasn’t forcing it. He moaned into the kiss. Her walls clamped hard around him, before letting up again. 

“You doing alright, love?” he asked. No matter how many times they did this, his concern for her well-being and satisfaction would never cease, nor diminish. 

“Mmm~,” she hummed, as she rose up again and dragged a hand through her dishevelled hair. “I am more than alright,” she assured him, right before her hips pressed down on him; her needy cunt swallowing his length whole, the sudden feeling making them both gasp loudly. 

“Gods,” he gasped, as his hands grabbed her ass. “Ah~” His head fell back against the mattress. “You’re so. fucking . tight!” he hissed between his teeth, as his fingers dug deeper into her flesh. She could only moan in response, as her walls clenched around him, still adjusting to his sizeable girth. Sanji, too, could use the moment to steady himself - wouldn’t want to disappoint the lady, now, would he? 

They laid there for a moment or two, in each other’s embrace, as they caught their breath and adjusted to one another. Their eyes then met - there was that same frenzied, hungry look in them. A small smile twisted on her lips in a blend of sweet love and unadulterated lust. A nod of her head was all he needed - his hips pulled back slowly, then pushed back up into her heat. Her hips met his tempo, bouncing herself up and down his length as her tongue slipped into his mouth. Moans and sighs were muffled by their kiss. The slapping sounds of skin on skin echoes off the walls of their bedroom. One’s drool in the other’s mouth. One’s sweat on the other’s body. One’s juices blending with their lover’s. 

The heat was rising. The tempo picked up. Fingers dug deeper in each other’s flesh - her nails clawed at his chest; his fingers dug into her hips as he helped bounce her up and down his cock. Her juices coated him completely. Sanji admired the way sweat started dripping down her neck… pooling between her plump and glistening breasts as they bounced around for him. But there was only so far she could go. She could not keep up with the pace any longer - her legs were tired, her body felt heavy. Sanji noticed, and stilled her hips, pulling them down on him. He smiled at her. 

“You’ve done far more than enough, my love,” he said. His hand reached up and gently grasped her chin between his fingers. He guided her down to his lips, meeting her halfway in a soft kiss. “It’s time I took good care of my lady,” he said softly, placing one more kiss to her lips, before flipping her on her back. He never once broke their union - it would have been sacrilegious. 

Sanji wasted no time resuming their dance. His pace was steady, moderate, as he leaned down to kiss her. 

“Sanji,” she sighed. “Please~ I need more…”

She didn’t need to ask him twice. 

Sanji carefully grabbed her thighs, and lifted them slowly. His warm lips pressed soft kisses to the sides of her knees as he eyed her, checking for any signs of discomfort. But the deeper angle only made her sigh in pleasure and drop her head back on the pillow. This was good. 

Sanji smiled to himself as he watched her face twist in pleasure. He could do this all night, just to see her like that. And he loved to hear the way his name would fall from her swollen lips in broken moans or breathy whispers; the way she chanted his name and his praises; the way she begged for more, as if in prayer. 

Indeed, it had come thus far. He hadn’t even noticed how his pace had picked up, but she clearly had - there was no doubt that she’d forgotten all about being quiet… or perhaps no longer cared? Her cries filled the room as his cock bullied her G-spot.

“Sa- Sa- Ah! Sanji! Sanji! Oh! Harder! F-Fuck- Fuck me- Harder!” 

Sanji leaned a little heavier on her legs, propping them closer to her chest, fucking her still deeper. He leaned down, their foreheads nearly touching, their breaths mixing as they panted and moaned and groaned in unison. Her arms reached up to wrap around his neck. A sheen of sweat was starting to form on his brow as he pounded her harder. The heat was steadily rising. Her legs wrapped around his waist, trapping him against her body. Her cunt was so tight, so welcoming, so… greedy for him. 

“My gods, I love you,” he groaned in her ear, each word punctuated by a hard thrust. 

She was past the point of stringing words together - every sound coming from her pretty throat a wanton cry begging for more as her fingers clawed at his back. 

Sanji was mesmerised by her - the pretty sounds she made, the way her breasts bounced so sensually before him with every impact, the way she was so needy for him and only him, the way he’d reduced her to this moaning, screaming mess. 

The room was filled with their pleasure - their moans and cries, the sounds of her soppy cunt, and his balls slapping against her ass, the smell of sweat and sex, the growing heat… It wasn’t all that long until her walls started clenching around him. Sanji sucked a breath in. She was threatening to pull him over the edge, but he had to hold back - hold until he knew she’d come.But it was hard… So damn hard… 

“I - I’m so close!” she cried out. Sanji groaned in response. He was giving it his all and then some. His hands grasped her shoulders for leverage, aiming to go as deep as he could. 

With a broken moan she came undone beneath him, her slick coating his cock and forming a white ring around the thick base. She looked so pretty like that - her lips parted in a silent scream, her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. Sanji kept fucking her through her orgasm. His pace was growing frenzied as he searched for his own. He was so close… So close! He needed to be deep - as deep as he could - when he pumped her full of his milky white seed. 

And there he was, coming just shortly after her. Her body’d gone limp in bliss underneath him; the biggest smile on her face - all blissed out. Her legs trembled around his waist as his thrusts stuttered. He pushed into her a few more times, pumping his cum into her greedy cunt, then slowed down. 

He placed his forehead on hers and looked into her eyes. This had to be the very height of love; the closest that two souls could get to becoming one - their sweat, their cum, their breaths all mixing, as they gazed into each other’s eyes. They say the eyes are windows to the soul… And Sanji could remember ever having seen such a bright and beautiful soul before in his life. 

Silence fell over them as they slowly came down from their highs. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. 

“I love you,” he whispered, breaking the silence, and his lips found hers in a long, sweet kiss - gentle, tender and full of love. 

When their lips parted, she looked up at him with a sweet smile. 

“Are you ready, love?” she asked softly. She knew she had to ask it - if it had been for Sanji, he probably wouldn’t have pulled out ever again. And Sanji knew it too… 

 Sanji nodded. “You know I’ll never be ready. So it’s up to you, love,” he said with a small smile, and a hint of amusement on his face. 

She giggled and nodded at him. Sanji shifted his weight around, and he slowly pulled out of her. Watching his seed seep out of her twitching cunt was a sight to behold; a sight he’d never tire of. A part of him was considering trying to go for another round, but the look on her face told him she was spent for the night. ‘And what a perfectly wonderful night it’s been,’ he thought to himself. 

Standing up, Sanji headed to the faucet in their little en-suite bathroom. When they decided to move in together, Sanji asked Franky if he could arrange some privacy for them, which Franky was happy to puzzle out. 

He grabbed a soft wash-cloth and turned on the tap, letting it run warm for a moment. He washed himself in the low basin with warm water and soap, then returned to her with the warm, damp cloth. 

She was still laying on the bed; her legs still somewhat open. The flush on her skin was starting to wear off. 

Sanji sat down on the bed and began cleaning her up. He did this every time. Of course she could do it herself, but he always insisted that it was the least he could do for her and the truth was that she enjoyed the extended intimacy. 

She’d watch him clean her up - always so careful of hurting her - and talk to him in hushed tones about this or the other, blending in sweet nothings wherever she could. He was just so good to her. 

When he was done, he went and placed the cloth on the edge of the sink, and made haste to return to her. 

“Shall I get you your nightgown, love?” he asked, noticing the goosebumps on her skin. 

“I don’t think I’ll need it with you by my side,” she answered, getting under the blankets and holding them open for him to join. 

Sanji smiled at her. Smiled to himself. He’d never imagined such a love was possible - certainly not for him. And yet, here they were - more in love than the poets could verse. 

He made his way to the bed and crawled in beside her. He turned the lights out from the switch by the bedside. 

She turned around and pulled her hair back. Sanji slipped an arm under her head, while his other arm went to pull her closer. He nuzzled her hair, inhaling her scent - perfume, and sweat… and him. 

Her hips shuffled around, pushing back against his. “You know,” she started, “the early hours are particularly cold… I might need some extra help to stay warm in the morning,” he mused, and she could feel Sanji’s soldier rise up to attention again. 

Tag list: @sampaisleyriot Not sure which of the guys you were waiting for (if any in particular), but I hope you like it :)

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Twice Buried [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@i06gyu) Center (@@mickisnotclever) Right (@sleepinginthelibrary)

Prompt: Aaron finds out about the depth of pain the reader went through in her childhood and he can’t let the wrongs done to her go without risking their relationship, so he takes matters into his own hands. 

Pairing: Aaron x BAU!Reader, fem!Reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns 

Category: Angst/Comfort 

Word Count: 14.9K

Content Warnings: Mention of childhood sexual abuse [reader] hoarding, gross bugs, phobias [reader] mention of food and drink, character in distress [reader] mention of death of a family member [reader]. 

A/N: Hi all! I hope you are all doing very well! It has been a good while since I’ve posted a fic. If you want that whole, what happened in Levi’s life recently story, feel free to check out my other posts. I can’t promise fics will be written and posted as often as they used to be, but I am still writing, and I still love Aaron. Please be kind to yourselves this week and do something you love, you are so special. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

y/n had been reserved since joining the BAU. Everyone noticed it. Worse than Emily, who had made a special kind of splash by crash landing ‘by accident’ on the team. But y/n had been far from an accident. She’d been on an arranged agent swap with the General Directorate for Internal Security or the GDIS for short on their anti-terrorism team. After the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ incident in 2015, the U.S. was afraid of similar incidents happening in the States and had sent a few agents abroad to get a better grasp of the situation and then report back to the FBI and the Pentagon. y/n had been one of those agents. When she spotted a similar trend online that indicated that another attack was imminent she acted in time. The information had been found in a private Discord Server which Penelope had helped hack. The ring had been larger than any of the team could imagine, and having y/n on the team had been a help. It wasn’t a long time later before Dave sent y/n an invitation to join the team for a prolonged period of time. y/n had agreed. Getting an invitation to be on the BAU was like winning the lottery, and she hadn’t won anything in her life before, so she wasn’t going to give up this one chance to make something of herself. 

The change from y/n’s original team to the BAU had been a culture shock, even though she’d been on the team for a short time before. Her somber and almost aloof attitude while in the office had rubbed some of the team the wrong way. Aaron had to remind them that they all had a period of adjustment, except for Spencer, who was basically raised in the FBI. All of the original members of the team had laughed at that and agreed with Hotch. However, time passed and yes, y/n had gotten better. She was less aloof, and the team realized they had mistaken that first emotion for a closed-offness that y/n kept herself in. 

She was marvelous at redirecting conversations back to another member of the team, or vaguely answering without really giving any solid details. If their group had normal people, they wouldn’t have even noticed, and it was clear to all of them that y/n’s former team had been the same way too. However, the BAU relied very much on knowing each other, even if it wasn’t all the gory details, Hotch for one had never opened up about his younger years, but hints were appreciated, so they could keep each other safe. 

For example, if the team hadn’t known how bad Spencer’s drug problem had been, they wouldn’t have been able to protect him from the legal ramifications of his actions. They had protected him from that. But over time, y/n had stayed wary and guarded, though she had started attending events with the team outside of work which was an improvement. Finally, JJ stepped in and told y/n, respectfully, if she could just try and talk more to the team. They wanted to know her and cared about what she thought. This had hurt y/n at first. She felt betrayed and that she’d let her new team down. y/n knew JJ was saying this in good faith and not to demean her in any way. She’d experienced that before and this wasn’t that. So, slowly, y/n had started talking more and giving her thoughts on things. She still stayed mostly quiet about herself. Why would remain a mystery to the team for a long, long, time? 

Once when the team was out for a post-case, late-night meal, they were talking about and laughing, and Aaron was sitting across from y/n. He had paid a lot of attention to y/n. In some small ways, she reminded him of Elle, and he felt like he had failed Elle in some fundamental way when she had ‘left’ the team. No matter how much better y/n had become at sharing her emotions and opening up, there were still obvious tells that Hotch could perceive around a topic that made y/n wary. Things like family, or childhood, or the past. When these conversations started, as one had that evening, he watched as y/n’s face fell flat for just a micro-second. When her normally pretty expression changed to this, Aaron imagined y/n as a marble statue whose bright paint had chipped away decades ago. Someone stuck in a moment of anguish forever. y/n always snapped out of it, and the other members of the team didn’t seem to notice it, but Aaron did. He wondered what was behind those moments of affectless expression. It bothered him, but he didn’t pry. He hoped, that when the time was right, y/n would find the courage to open up herself. But he wasn’t going to pressure her into a confession. That was against his moral compass. He knew from personal experience that it was harder to speak about difficult things when pressure was added. 

The team kept trekking on as the summer moved into the fall and a few more facets about y/n were discovered. The team was on a case in the Midwest. A small town off the beaten track where an unsub had been finding more and more gruesome ways to kill people. It was halfway through the case and the team was going back to the hotel to catch some sleep before the start of another day. 3:00 a.m. at a small motel was oddly liminal, and Hotch felt a sense of unease as they all trudged to their rooms. y/n was next to him on the left and he walked with her up the stairs on the outside of the building toward their rooms. y/n covered her mouth as she yawned. She’d told Hotch it was okay, that she could walk by herself, but he insisted he go with her. He didn’t like the idea of y/n walking around outside at this time of night, even if it would be under a five-minute walk. 

y/n could feel her legs lagging up the stairs as she was so tired. She’d done a lot of physical work that day and her brain and body were protesting. As y/n lowered her hand from her mouth and said, “Sorry. Hotch. I’m so ready for bed.” What she was trying to say was that she was moving slowly, slowing him, and his long legs down from getting some sleep. Even though y/n wasn’t very clear with her words, Aaron understood what she meant and was about to say that it was totally fine, but as they reached the landing, an eerily human-child-sounding scream came from the dimly lit parking lot. 

This shocked y/n and Aaron into awareness, and Hotch, subconsciously pulled y/n quickly behind his body. He could feel how tense y/n was. How on edge as her hand brushed his side to look around his body. He held his hand out to the side to keep her back in case it was a dangerous situation. Thankfully, a long second later, there was a thump and another sound as a skinny coyote scampered away from the dumpster in the corner of the lot. Both Aaron and y/n deflated and Hotch turned to look at y/n, and they both chuckled at how frightened they had been at the presence of an animal. They finished getting to their rooms and y/n raised a hand saying, “Night Hotch. See ya in the morning.” Aaron shot her a hint of a smile and said, “Sleep well, y/n.” 

Aaron moved into his room and turned on the lamps. The walls were paper thin in the motel, and he heard as y/n moved around in her room just a wall away from his. Apart from that it was relatively quiet for a bit as Hotch got out of his black slacks and into the grey sweatpants he normally slept in during cases. They were soft and worn in a way he liked. He had just slipped on his classic white short-sleeved shirt from his suitcase and was just moving toward the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth when there was a yelp from y/n’s room, then a crash and the hurried steps of y/n running toward her door. He heard the rusty hinges scream as y/n moved outside and he wasn’t far after her. Outside he caught y/n putting her hand on her chest, breathing heavily and looking more than a little distraught. Before he could ask if everything was alright, Morgan came dashing up next to y/n and placed a hand on her back asking in his husky voice, “Everything alright, y/n? What’s going on?” Morgan was panting too as he had run up the stairs when he’d seen y/n come out of her room the way she had. 

y/n cleared her throat and forced herself to visibly relax and take a breath before saying, “It’s nothing really, just a bad bug. Sorry, I might have overreacted.” Hearing this Derek let out a large laugh and said, “Wow, you really had me scared there for a second. Who knew that you could be scared by a bug? You’re always so stoic, y/n.” Hotch watched y/n laugh, but he could tell it was fake. Morgan continued, “What was it y/n? A spider or a scorpion? Want me to get it for you?” y/n smiled at the ground and said, “Nah, it’s fine. Thanks for the offer, Morgan. I was just surprised when I opened the bathroom door is all.” Derek shook his head and said, “Alright, well if you find any more nasty surprises in your room you just give me a call and I’ll sort it out for you.” y/n nodded and said, “Will do, Derek. You’re the best.” Morgan nodded and gave y/n a pat on the back and then moved past Hotch to get to his own room. 

Aaron caught that y/n hadn’t elaborated on what the bug species was, and he noticed that she seemed to greatly relax once Morgan had made a joke of the whole situation which was clearly adversely affecting her. Once Derek was in his room, Hotch checked in saying, “What was it, y/l/n?” y/n’s head snapped up as if she’d forgotten he was there. y/n dropped her eyes to the ground again and said, “I don’t want to say it Hotch.” Aaron nodded and gently replied, “Does it start with an ‘r?’” y/n cringed but nodded yes. Aaron let out a breath and said, “You want me to get it for you?” After a moment, y/n looked up at Hotch, and he could see that she was embarrassed for being in this situation in the first place. Hotch moved a hand to y/n’s elbow and said, “y/n, I don’t mind. I know they’re gross.” Finally y/n looked at him and said, “Okay. Thanks, Aaron.” Hotch nodded and stepped inside. He kept his eyes mostly trained on the open bathroom door which light was spilling out of. He couldn’t help himself from seeing some of y/n’s more private clothing items on the bed before he moved his eyes safely to the stained carpet. 

In the bathroom, the roach was comfortably hanging out on the wall near the sink. It was like the bug sensed Aaron’s presence and quickly and unnervingly moved off the wall and toward the shower. Hotch grabbed a handful of toilet paper to get the bug. He pulled back the clear plastic shower curtain and the roach moved again to the nearest dark corner. Aaron didn’t like these bugs either. It was something about the way they moved that freaked him out slightly, but he was older, and a man, and he didn’t mind doing this for y/n if it made her feel better. With a decisive move from his hand, Aaron caught the bug in the white paper and he didn’t pay attention as the bug’s body made a crunching sound as he closed his hand around the paper. He quickly threw the chitinous corpse into the toilet and flushed it away before closing the lid and stepping back through the room. He scanned the room to make sure there weren’t any more surprise bugs and he noticed the shattered lamp which y/n must have tipped over when she ran from the room. He strode across to the side of the bed, picked up the small trashcan, and moved back to the shattered pieces of the lamp.

Aaron didn’t notice as y/n, who had been standing at the threshold of the room dropped her hands from covering her mouth, as she chewed on her nails, a nervous tick of hers, and back to her sides. She walked back into the room and next to Hotch and said, “Hotch, you don’t need to do that. I can sort it out. I’m sorry.” Aaron finished picking up the largest parts of the lamp, careful not to cut his hands on any of the glass. Only after he had finished this did he stand and say, “It’s not a bother, y/n. I’m happy to help. You should call the front office and have someone come and get the rest of the glass this morning, and if you use the restroom in the middle of the night, at least what’s left of it, make sure to wear shoes.” y/n nodded timidly, and exhausted and tried not to think about Hotch thinking about her moving around her room in the middle of the night. “Thanks again,” she said as Aaron moved to the door and shut it for the last time that night. 

Once Hotch was out of the room, y/n lay back on the bed so tired that she thought she might fall asleep right then and there. She thanked her guardian angel that she hadn’t seen the bad bug before she’d taken off her pants, because she would have run outside her room with or without pants on, and the idea of Derek, and more significantly, Aaron, seeing her in her underwear, she’d never live it down. After a moment, y/n turned her head to the door which she’d need to lock, and then toward the bathroom, which she still needed to use before she could fully relax. But given the bug and its essence that was left of it, no matter how small, y/n didn’t want to go back to the bathroom. She didn’t want to leave the bed. If she was younger, she’d have tucked her legs into her chest and stayed there for the rest of the night with all the light burning until the dawn sun illuminated her room in shades of pink and orange. But she wasn’t that little girl anymore, and she did get up and lock the door. She did put on shoes, as Aaron had suggested which felt good. It was nice and meant no glass pierced the soles of her feet and it meant she was off the ground. y/n knew this was silly, a coping technique she’d built for herself over the years, but it did give her the strength to quickly wash her face, brush her teeth, and put patches on her acne. By the time this was done, y/n moved back to her bed, turned off the lights, and was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

In his room, Aaron moved back to the bathroom and took a shower before getting under the covers. He looked at the ceiling and realized that he’d learned more about y/n in his interaction with her that evening than he had in their whole time as Unit Cheif and supervisor. He pondered if he was wrong for wanting to know more about y/n. Why she was so closed off? What it was that she had to hide. He couldn’t help himself for thinking it was funny that she didn’t like bugs, but he couldn’t blame her for it either. It was never fun to have unwanted company, human or otherwise. He fell into the oblivion of sleep with a look of shame and perhaps gratitude as y/n had let him go into her room and take care of her unwanted guest. 

Aaron didn’t make many more discoveries about y/n until a month later when it was close to 5:00 p.m. and he was sitting in his office. There was a soft knock on his door and he looked up to see y/n peaking into his office. He sat up a bit straighter and said, “Come in, y/n. Do you have a question about something?” y/n shuffled into the room and kept looking at the floor before she finally raised her eyes and met his. He could see that she was biting the inside of her cheek before she said, “I have a favor to ask you if you’re willing. If it’s too much then no worries at all, you just seemed like the right person for this problem I’m having.” Hotch’s eyes widened in surprise. What could y/n possibly need from him that someone else couldn’t offer? He hoped his intrigue didn’t play out on his face as he motioned for the chair across from his desk and said, “Well, let me know what we’re dealing with and then I can let you know. Is it a work thing? Please tell me it’s not a Drake-type of situation again, is it?” He was concerned now and looked at y/n’s face closely for signs of distress. 

Drake had been an agent, who was quickly reassigned to a small HQ in Seattle who had made some untoward comments toward other female agents, including y/n. It had been y/n who had gone to JJ, and JJ who had gone to him to reveal the whole situation. When Aaron heard this he got so angry that he stood, placed his hands on his desk to steady himself before he sat back down, and asked JJ to tell him everything she knew as he grew more and more disgusted by some of the male agents in the building. He’d taken the situation to HR and made sure that y/n nor any of the other female agents were named in the official complaint before going to Strauss and basically demanding a transfer for Drake or outright termination. 

Aaron was thankful when y/n nodded her head no and said, “No, Sir. Nothing like that,” as she sat across from him. He pushed aside his laptop so that there wasn’t anything blocking their view and he waited for y/n to say what had brought her in. After a moment of silence y/n let out a breath and said, “It’s really silly, actually…” Hotch stopped her from continuing by leveling a friendly glare at y/n which made her stop and try again. y/n swallowed and said, “Well, last month there was a leak in my apartment that never got fully fixed. It was livable, but I think there’s mold in my unit now which I think has made me sick again and off again for the last two weeks. I need to get it tested, but I was wondering if there was something in my lease that I might use against my apartment complex to break my lease?” y/n looked over at Hotch. His large brown eyes only seemed more intense in the low light of his lamps. She knew he was listening to her, wanting all of the pieces of the puzzle she was trying to tell him so he could help her. That was one thing y/n loved about Aaron. He never ignored anyone on the team or anyone in need of help, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she needed some help. y/n continued by saying, “And, well, I’ve tried reading my lease a few times but it doesn’t make any sense to me. There is a clause about mold, but I can’t figure out the legal jargon. I was wondering if you could read it over for me if it’s not too big a bother.”

Hotch could see y/n rubbing her hands together softly on her legs, a self-soothing gesture she was prone to when y/n was stressed. He let out a little breath and said, “Of course I can, y/n. I’d be happy to help you.” He paused before adding, “I can also probably fix your leak issue while we work out the logistics of the lease. If there is mold, and you did get sick from it, there might be grounds for a civil suit, if you wanted to take legal action that is.” y/n’s face settled into one that was relaxed, and replied, “I’m not sure if I have the energy for that. I don’t even know if I have the energy to move. I’d just like to have the option. To know that I have an option.” Hotch nodded in understanding but didn’t say that. Instead, he stated, “Well, how about we set up a date for me to look over the lease and or your apartment if you want? I’m open this weekend if that works for you?” Hotch felt strange almost inviting himself into her home. He could easily read y/n’s lease in the office, but something told him not to. 

Although Hotch was far from a Marxist he didn’t believe in bringing personal work into the office. He would happily take office work home, but not visa versa. Also, by throwing out an open date for him, which he didn’t often have, he hoped y/n would realize that he did want to help her, not only with her legal issues but with her apartment which was apparently falling apart and making her ill. The idea of that bothered him more than it should have. Aaron was forced from his own head when y/n said, “Yeah. That works for me. Um, what time would you like to come over?” Surprised that y/n would let him of all people, into her space he replied, “How about 9:30? Is that too early for you?” Again Aaron was faced with the fact that he hardly knew anything about y/n. Did she wake up late on the weekends like Reid? Did she work out like he and Morgan did? Did she go out with friends to brunch like Emily? Did she have a boyfriend or girlfriend to wake up to like JJ did every morning? Not all of this information about his teammates had just been told to him, but he knew it nonetheless, and being so bereft of details about y/n’s life made him feel like he knew nothing about her, even if that wasn’t true.

Aaron’s eyes moved up as y/n said, “Hotch, Hotch. 9:30 is great for me. Is it okay with you?” Hotch felt awkward having been caught unaware twice by y/n in the course of under an hour. Aaron replied, “Yes. Sorry, I’m distracted today, y/n. Can you text me your address and I’ll put it in my calendar?” y/n smiled and replied, “Sure thing, Hotch. Thank you for the help.” Aaron nodded and said, “Let me know if you need a place to crash before Saturday. I bet the Bureau can get you a hotel room or something. I don’t think staying in a place that might be making you sick is in the best interest of the department, or my agent.” y/n tried to hide her smile at Aaron’s concern for her. He was trying to mask it too, but not very well. She told him she’d let him know and left his office feeling better than she had in some time. 

That Saturday was the first time that Aaron saw y/n’s apartment. As y/n walked him toward the AC unit that had been leaking, he tried to look around without it looking too obvious. His eyes scanned the kitchen and living room and then he moved into y/n’s small bedroom. They were chatting about their days so far, and as Aaron sat down on the floor, y/n handed him Philip’s head screwdriver to remove the grate from the crawl space below her AC. y/n asked, “So you really run five miles every Saturday morning? How do you deal with the heat? I’m tempted to just stay in all the time during summer.” Aaron let out a chuckle and said, “I think you build up the tolerance. And I wear a lot of sunscreen. They say fresh air is good for you, especially if you’re living in an apartment with mold.” Hotch had meant the statement as a joke, but when y/n didn’t laugh, he bit his tongue and hoped he hadn’t offended her. He didn’t mean to, but by the time he was formulating a response, he noticed the drip and the simple fix to the issue. An issue that the repairmen who had been there a few times already should have easily fixed weeks ago. He grunted slightly as he inched his way forward on his elbows with a wrench in one hand and a flashlight in the other. 

This time in the small space did give him the opportunity to think about y/n’s place a bit more. It was old but decently maintained, and it was clean. When he’d done the walk to get to this part of the house, he hadn’t thought much about it. But now as he saw normal signs of an older building, cobwebs, stains, and dust, he realized he’d seen very little of that in y/n’s space. It was like the apartment was staged, waiting for the photographers to come from Architectural Digest to get their pictures and get her opinion on the Pantene color of the year. y/n didn’t have a lot of things. Her furnishings were sparse but looked comfortable enough. But inside, Aaron had the feeling that maybe somewhere, storage, the attic - there wasn’t one - a closet, there were boxes of things that gave meaning to y/n’s life that she’d neglected to put out or up. Hotch sighed as he tightened the bolt that was allowing water to drip down the side of y/n’s pipes. There were multiple spots like this. It would take a while and some maneuvering on his part, but Hotch didn’t mind. This reminded him of his first apartment in college, but that was much more of a mess. Living with three other guys, it was bound to happen, even if he kept his space relatively clean. 

It took Hotch a few minutes to finish up the work on the leaks before he wriggled back into the bedroom. y/n extended a hand to him, and he took it as he stood with a small grunt. He was happy he hadn’t changed out of his workout clothes because being in such a confined space had made him even more sweaty. He rubbed a hand over his forehead and said, “Well, I think I have it all fixed down there, except for a small puddle from the leak. I can clean that up for you if you like.” y/n nodded her head no and said, “It’s fine, Hotch. You’ve done so much already, I can clean it up in a moment. I’m a bit, picky, with my cleaning habits.” Aaron nodded and said, “I get you. Reid is the same way.” y/n gave an understanding nod, and Hotch looked over y/n’s shoulder to the pictures neatly framed on y/n’s far wall. There were a few with y/n and some friends, maybe some from college and a few from her years in Paris. The photos had good composition even if they were only shot on an iPhone. Even though he had said it, Aaron knew Spencer wasn’t the same as y/n. They both cared for cleanliness, that was obvious, but there was something different about y/n that he couldn’t pin down. Some facts that he felt he was missing. 

Aaron wiped his dusty hands on his shorts and y/n said, “Do you want to wash your hands? Who knows what kind of gross stuff is under there.” She eyes the open grate and Hotch replied, “Yes, please. It’s not actually that bad down there, just dust mainly.” He chose not to talk about the spider webs, given y/n’s aversion to bugs. He’d swept away the webs anyway so she wouldn’t have to see them. y/n pointed Hotch to the door of the bathroom and he stepped inside closing the door He took a minute to look at his reflection. He didn’t look as sweaty as he felt, which he was grateful for. ‘Why does it matter?’ Aaron asked himself as he rinsed off his hands and then added a generous amount of hand soap into his palms. As he lathered the soap and then rinsed it off Hotch tried to quell the thoughts which had subconsciously been growing since he’d seen y/n looking frightened at the motel. If he tried hard enough, he could play them off in his head as protective, a fatherly gesture, but in his spirit, he knew this wasn’t true. Hotch dried his hand and pushed his hair around a bit until he liked how it sat. His ego nudged him whispering, ‘Vanity, Hotchner.” He snorted slightly and left the bathroom before he could get more in his head about his appearance. That wasn’t the point of him being here in the first place. 

By the time Aaron stepped back into y/n’s room, she had added three of the four screws back on the grate and into the wall covering the gaping hole that had been there. y/n looked up at him and smiled as she said, “Well now that you’ve helped me fix the leak I don’t think I have a reason to sue the landlord.” Hotch pressed his lips together before replying, “Well that might be true, but I think if your apartment is using a subcontractor for maintenance you could sue them for not knowing how to do their jobs.” y/n chuckled but as a big fan of not having any extra confrontation in her life, she didn’t think she’d be taking Hotch up on that offer. Instead, she asked, “Could I pay you back with a coffee, Hotch? There’s a good spot two blocks over. I was going to go there anyway to hang out for a bit.” Before the logical or even aware part of Aaron’s mind could respond he said, “You don’t mind going out with me looking like this?” His self-consciousness side blurted out what he was trying to avoid thinking in the bathroom. For a second Aaron felt like chucking himself out y/n’s bedroom window as he internally cringed so hard that his stomach hurt. 

y/n took a moment to process what Aaron had said and she stopped herself from scratching the back of her head in confusion. “‘You don’t mind going out with me looking like this?’” What the hell did that even mean? Did Hotch know how he looked? How her seeing him in something that wasn’t a suit had almost taken her breath away and sped up her heart rate three times past normal? She had thought as he worked on her AC, his body half buried in the wall, ‘He could send out a warning if he’s not going to show up in a suit. Good god, give a girl one chance not to be fucking lusting over her boss.’ She had been embarrassed by the thought, as Hotch clearly was embarrassed now. To not make the situation any more strange than it was and tried humor saying, “You mean like a guy wearing shorts and a Nike shirt?” y/n never knew if jokes would work with Aaron. He seemed to have a very sharp wit and she never knew where jokes would land with him. Thankfully this one worked and Hotch let out one of his rare laughs, shaking his head slightly at his inability to keep unwanted thoughts in. At least he hadn’t made a comment about y/n, who he thought looked lovely in her more relaxed outfit. After a moment of silence, he blinked and said, “Well alright then. You lead the way, though your apartment should be paying you for having to deal with this.” y/n chuckled and grabbed her purse as Hotch got his keys and wallet from the counter. They spent the next half hour chatting comfortably about work or people in the office, and whatever came up naturally. It was pleasant for both of them to just be allowed to relax in the presence of the other for once. When they had finished, Aaron thought for a moment that he understood y/n better. He did, but the most enlightening thing he would learn about y/n would come later in the year, and when it did, it hit Hotch like a load of bricks. 

It was September, and the weather was just starting to get cool in Virginia. The crispness of the air had the team in mostly good spirits. The latest cases had been easier.  Hotch was sipping his coffee from a cup Jack had given him for Father’s Day last year when there was a knock on his office door. He looked up from the rim of his cup to see y/n pop into the room and close the door behind her. After he’d helped her with her apartment, she had been more relaxed around him, and came to him every now and then with questions she still had about past cases or current files the team was supposed to do. The forms were often asinine and useless you’d been working in the department for years. Every time y/n made an appearance, Hotch had to settle himself and act calmly. It reminded him so much of the first time y/n had asked him for a favor. When she had been a new agent and afraid to disappoint him and the rest of the team. But this time was different and he could tell. This wasn’t y/n being shy to ask for help, or ‘checking in on him’ as she said when she had no reason to be in his office but inexplicably wanted to be there anyway. When y/n stepped in there was no attempt at a dad-joke. Instead, she was looking at his carpeted floor and there was an aurora of burden that came with her. 

Hotch was up and out of this chair before the words, “What’s happened, y/n?” left his mouth. y/n swallowed dryly and looked up at Aaron. He could see her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. y/n sniffled and stepped forward, leaning against the edge of Aaron’s desk as she said the easy part first, “I need some time off. A week or so, maybe more.” Hotch nodded his head in understanding saying, “Of course, you can get all the time you need. Can you tell me what happened, please?” There was silence, and y/n looked at her hands as she shakily replied, “My mom died yesterday. She made me the executor of her estate, so I need to go down to her house and work some things out with her will.” Hotch moved from his side of the desk to y/n’s and gently wrapped her in a hug. He could feel her shaking against him. He held her without much force, just giving her something softer to cling to than the sharp edge of his oak desk. y/n was grateful that Aaron had moved to this position. That she didn’t have to look at his face which was filled with worry. And she could not only hide her sadness but also her shame in the crook of his neck and shoulder. After a comfortable amount of time, y/n stood back and asked, “Can I leave now, or do you want me to stay till the EOD?” Hotch’s grip on y/n’s arms tightened slightly as he looked down at her and said, “Of course, you can leave now. I’ll send HR a memo. The team will help you if you want y/n. I’ll help you with anything you need. You just have to ask.” 

y/n sniffled and ran her hand under her nose which she knew was unbecoming of a federal agent, but she was past spent and decorum had seemed to go out the back door with the news that she would need to return to her childhood home. A place she had avoided for many years now. Her behavior repulsed her, expanded by her sense of shame. She didn’t want anyone with her for this. No one could see, and no one on the team could know. Still looking down, y/n said, “Thank you, Hotch. Can you just tell the team that a family emergency came up? This situation, it’s, it’s private, and I think I need some time to just get my head around it.” 

Hotch nodded in understanding. He had had moments when the rug had absolutely been ripped from underneath him. Aaron felt that there was something more going on, but he knew now was not the time to pry. Instead, he said, “Yes, of course, y/n. Can you just send me the address of the spot you’ll be staying at so I can give it to HR. They’ll ask you for it anyway, so if you let me know I can help you skip that step.” y/n looked at Hotch and said, “Sure Hotch. Thanks. I’m just going to get my stuff and go.” Aaron let y/n go and he watched her walk to his door, turn, and raise a hand half-heartedly before saying, “Thanks,” one more time and slipping out the door as quietly as she had come in. 

Hotch felt a tug at his chest. There was a small feeling of dread that he couldn’t not feel after y/n had left the room which made it hard for him to do anything else than send the forms to HR on y/n’s behalf. He leaned back in his chair and heaved a sigh. He hadn’t once heard y/n talk about her parents. He knew that they had existed. It was on her transfer paper and application to the BAU. Clearly, the government had to know pretty much everything about a person to hire them into the inner ranks. But unlike Reid and Morgan, and occasionally Emily, y/n didn’t relegate any details about family around the team. He had always pictured her as an island, alone. At that moment Aaron decided that he would check in on y/n often in her absence. He hoped it wouldn’t ruin the trust they had slowly built between them, but his conscious wouldn’t let him not make sure she was okay because something inside him told him there was more going on here than simple grief. That feeling only grew worse as three days passed and y/n didn’t answer any of his calls and only one of his texts asking if she was okay, or if she needed anything. He’d offered to send her food, or coffee, or anything to her hotel, but there had just been one text: “Sorry Hotch, I’m too busy to think about this right now, thanks for the offer, I’ll take you up on it once I have more finished.” 

On the fourth day, a Saturday, Hotch couldn’t take the silence anymore. He knew he was pushing it, but he had y/n’s hotel address and the address of her mom’s house because she said she’d be at both pretty often working on things. Aaron thought it was absurd that the FBI still asked for a mailing address when someone went on leave. It was like asking for a fax number when everyone had a cell phone in their pocket. That was what made y/n’s non-response so jarring. As Aaron put the second address into his GPS, he was surprised to see that it was only a forty-five-minute drive away. He considered that y/n probably could have stayed at her apartment if she wanted to, but as Aaron got further from the city and into the exurbs, past the exurbs even to roads in disrepair, closed CVS’s franchises, and mobile homes, he realized that this juxtaposition from the luxury and safety of the city to this could be exhausting apart from all the emotions and work she was doing. Aaron wasn’t exactly surprised by what he saw as he got further and further away from Quantico. He knew the makeup of Southwestern Virginia, but the poverty of the area never failed to make him take a hard look at what had once been a thriving community. He didn’t want this part of y/n’s past to affect how he saw her. Not that he’d ever judge her for living in a place like this, but with her life being so guarded, he couldn’t help but make assumptions about why she had remained quiet so often. 

When Hotch got the the far edge of one of the many trailer and mobile home parks it was easy to find y/n even if she hadn’t answered his two calls that morning. The only thing Aaron needed to see, y/n’s old car, was parked outside of the mobile home at the far edge of the plot. There was no house number or mailbox to indicate he was at the right place, but he knew he was. He parked beside y/n’s car and stepped out of his. As he walked closer to the house and locked his car doors he noticed the very rundown state of affairs at the domicile. Most of the windows were covered with cardboard and mildew was creeping up the edge of the fake wood siding of the housing. A few feet away from the front screened door the small assaulted his nostrils and he had to take a few deep breaths through his mouth to stop from being ill. The scent was distinctly one of rot, waste, and decay. With his arm over his mouth, Aaron wondered if y/n’s mother had died and been found a few days or perhaps a week after she had been deceased. The thought appalled him for y/n’s sake, and the idea of her being inside the home made him quicken his steps to see what was going on. 

Aaron moved up the two cracked and chipped concrete steps. He knocked on the gnarled screen door. y/n had kept the inner glass door open to get better air circulation of air in the room. Hotch swallowed and softly shouted, “y/n? y/n, are you in there? It’s Aaron.” The sound seemed to be absorbed into the house, the doors gaping mouth sucking everything into its blackness. The inside of the house was dim. Hotch couldn’t see any lights on and there seemed to be piles of stuff near the door half blocking it. Before Hotch stepped inside he thought that maybe the piles of boxes might be y/n packing up her mother’s things to get rid of or sell. However, after a minute of y/n not answering, Aaron decided to move inside the home and realized he was wrong. Hotch had to open the door and slide through the opening sideways to fit around the boxes which he realized were a fire hazard right away. As he was about to call to y/n again, Aaron’s eyes adjusted to the room and the words died on his lips. 

The front room of the small mobile home was filled with stuff. Boxes upon boxes were piled on top of each other. Many of which seemed to be growing mold or deteriorating. The boxes at the bottom were falling apart and yellowed or brown. The floors were also filthy, sticky, and littered with debris. As Aaron moved his way carefully further into the room he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the sheer number of things around him. Not only were the boxes and trash overwhelming, but the scent had gotten considerably worse now that he was inside. After Hotch passed another pile of boxes, papers, and files he noticed that in the far corner was a couch which had one cushion cleared of garbage. It was the only clear spot he had seen in the house at all. Not that the couch cushion was clean, it was stained and smelled, but it didn’t have stuff on it. Aaron was coming to the realization of what y/n had grown up around as he rounded the corner into the kitchen area. 

This space was different and yet the same as the rest of the house. In the kitchen the windows weren’t covered up, so there was more natural light which highlighted the clutter even more. This clutter also wasn’t in boxes. It was on the counters and piled in all of the corners and crevices. The scent of rot was so bad here as boxes of discarded food, possibly years old sat on counters and in the sink. There were plates and cups forgotten and even as Hotch surveyed the disgusting scene he could tell there were bugs festering in the piles of rotting paper plates and unfinished coffee cups. There was one trash bag, half full of stuff sitting on top of one of the piles, but that was the only sign of life that Aaron could sense. From how bad the hoarding looked, he assumed that this had been going on for years, if not multiple decades. 

Hotch was fully in the kitchen and had almost forgotten why he was there. He was so surprised by what he was seeing that when y/n, who was very confused as to why her boss was inside her deceased mom’s house, rounded the corner, she was startled at his presence. Aaron whipped around effectively knocking a pile of things off of the metal folding table onto the floor. He watched as if in slow motion as a glass half of a puss-colored liquid crashed to the ground and broke. It seemed so loud in the small confines of the house that seemed to absorb all sounds into its piles of decay. He and y/n looked at the mess he’d made for a half second before a number of bugs, bugs that Aaron knew y/n didn’t like scurried out from the pile on the floor, and from the kitchen counters and onto the walls. y/n saw the bugs as clearly as Hotch and nearly jumped out of her skin swatting and brushing herself, afraid that some had gotten on her. Her breath had picked up and Hotch could see that y/n might be sick. Hotch’s instincts kicked in and he didn’t even apologize or explain why he was there. He simply knew that he had to get y/n out of this house. As far away as he possibly could. He stepped forward ignoring the retreating bugs looking for cover in some other dark corner of the room, took y/n’s arm in his, and started leading her toward the front door. y/n was trying to say something to him, ask him a question perhaps, but the blood was pumping in his ears and his heart was thumping in his chest. He’d answer any questions y/n had once they were outside. 

Aaron didn’t care that some boxes fell as he pushed the pile in front of the door out of the way. He could feel y/n shaking now and he wrenched open the screen door and followed her out, down the stairs, and into the front yard. y/n was still shaking and patting herself down like she might explode into flames while looking for bugs. Hotch stepped forward assertively and stilled her hands as he thoroughly brushed her off from her arms and shoulders, then down her chest and legs. He then moved to her back and did the same thing. When he did find a bug, he brushed it off and didn’t say a thing about it. When he got back to y/n’s front, she was breathing harshly through her teeth but seemed to calm down as she asked, “What are you doing here, Hotch?” 

Hotch looked at y/n and her eyes were telling him two stories. One was logical, “Is there a case? Did something bad happen? Do you need help?” and the other was everything else, “I didn’t want you here, go away, can’t you see what I’m going through?” Aaron felt terrible for how this had ended. He hadn’t expected this, but he knew the best answer was the truth, so he said, “I was worried about you,” and nothing else. y/n sniffled and wrapped her arms around herself before looking over Aaron’s shoulder and into the house. y/n spoke the truth too, Hotch could always tell when she was lying: “I didn’t want anyone to see this.” Aaron swallowed and nodded, replying, “I know. I’m sorry.” He hadn’t known of course, but now he did, and all he could do was apologize. 

y/n composed herself. Putting her emotions back into all the boxes where they belonged and stood waiting for Hotch to say or do something. She knew if she started whatever conversation was about to happen she’d break, and she never wanted that. It was the thing that she had learned since leaving home; her secret weapon. Lie, tell half-truths, don’t show your emotions. Don’t let them know where you come from or who you really are, because if they knew, they’d never understand or give a damn about you. Slightly delusionally, y/n hoped that Aaron would get back into his car and leave, pretending he hadn’t seen anything. That he didn’t know her secret, and when she came back from leave, he wouldn’t say anything. He was kind, maybe he’d forget for her sake? 

Aaron watched the emotions play across her face like a silent film star on the big screen. It was only a series of seconds before y/n was back to the person he knew. The silence was intense and instead of leading with his emotions, Hotch tried to think logically. He assumed if he went from the heart he’d say something or ask a question that would distance y/n from him forever. So instead he asked the first logical question that came to mind, “Have you been in the house long?” Hotch was concerned that y/n might get sick again, this time from real mold and whatever other bad things inside the home, though his brain could think of little else apart from y/n not only as a child but an adult in such squalor. 

y/n’s soft, “No” had him relax. One thing was for sure, if he could avoid it, he wouldn’t be having y/n go back in there. Hotch looked back at y/n as she continued speaking, “I’ve mostly been in my hotel looking over the legal documents and trying to set my mom’s debts in order. And arrange some kind of funeral, though I doubt people will show up. She was kind of a recluse near the end of her life.” Aaron nodded along, grateful that she hadn’t spent much time here. He looked around the yard, unwilling to leave y/n here in this state, but also awkward about how he’d discovered this part of her past that she had so desperately hidden away like the trash inside. Aaron composed his next sentence carefully and asked, “Is there anything important that you need inside? Any of your mom’s documents, or items that have value?” Hotch tried to sound sincere in his words. He meant them, but with so much stuff inside, most of it looking like garbage, he knew it could come off as sounding condescending or like a joke. 

y/n thought for a moment, shifting uncomfortably on her feet before saying, “All the important stuff is out like her documents and stuff. I really should go back in and start cleaning. I rented a dumpster out back for the week and it’s not going to fill itself.” Hotch appreciated that y/n was trying to be lighthearted through this, but he shook his head no, replying, “I’ll hire someone to come and clean up. y/n. I don’t want you going back in there.” He didn’t phrase it like a command. On this account, he had no authority apart from his care and growing feelings for y/n. 

At Aaron’s offer, y/n looked back at the house from which she had fled so many times. Could this be the last time? Could she walk away and never look back? Never feel like she was slowly being buried alive by junk and trinkets and trash? She took a breath of clean air and considered that maybe she could. Maybe this was the end she had been dreaming of for so long. Maybe someone had finally come to save her from this hell. As she was about to turn around and say, “Yes, please. Let’s do that,” to Aaron, a single item crossed y/n’s mind and she paused. She looked up at Aaron and truly asked for help for the first time in a long time. “There’s a stuffed rabbit inside. It’s in my room I think. Could you get it for me?” In asking this of Aaron, she was opening herself to him almost wholly. It was an invitation for him to see all of the parts of herself that she had hidden. It was the chance to be ridiculed as she had by friends in childhood who came over and saw how she lived. It was the chance for men, older men, to not even come inside and leave her mother sobbing in the front yard. y/n was already swallowing back the tears when Aaron would say no and leave her. It was all too much for most people. It had been too much for her too. She wouldn’t blame Aaron as he drove away to something safe. To a clean apartment and shower. To a son who loved him. To someone who was no longer his wife, but someone who still cared. Given that choice, how can you pick the former? 

“Where’s the bunny? Is it a certain color?” The questions almost knocked y/n off her feet. She took in more air before saying, “It’s in the very back room. It used to be my bedroom. It’s pink with a white nose and long floppy ears.” Aaron nodded, shaking off his coat, ready to go back inside. As he moved past y/n, she grabbed his arm and said, “You don’t have to do this Hotch. It may not even be in there.” They both looked at the home and this time Aaron tried to be optimistic as he said, “y/n, do you really think your mom got rid of your childhood stuffie?” y/n couldn’t help but laugh at the ludicrous question. She let Hotch go and watched as he entered the house while her heart was trying to figure out what to do with itself. Since she had heard the news of her mom’s passing, she was on the precipice of a very high and ragged cliff face. All she would have to do was fall and everything would be over, but Aaron was like the pair of strong arms that held her back. Asking if this was what she really wanted. 

Aaron went back into the house once more trying to ignore the smell. He carefully pushed past the kitchen and into the narrow hallway. There was hardly room for him to squeeze his broad frame though. He found himself coughing a lot as particulate matter got into his system. Once out of the darkened hallway, he moved to the final door at the end of the home, peaking into the two other rooms, the main bedroom and the bathroom which were somehow worse than the front of the house. The farther he got back the more the trash piled up. He paid no mind to what was on the floor or what he was stepping on or over to get y/n what she needed to be rid of this place. He’d have to look up hoarding more thoroughly now. He’d been to a few homes on cases in the past where it had seemed to be an issue, he’d even had to call CPS on one family so they would get their act together. However, this was the worst case he’d ever seen, and he could only imagine what it was like growing up in an environment like this. Hotch had so many questions he felt like asking, so many ideas running through his mind, but he knew he’d have to be sensitive. Now was not a time for an interrogation. Now was the moment to remind y/n that he would support her. That he could be there for her, and if he couldn’t say the other things he might want to, the things he kept hidden himself, the least he could do was that. 

Hotch had to push open the door harshly to get into the back room. It was so dark inside that Aaron pulled out his phone and turned the flashlight on. This sent multiple bugs and what Hotch assumed was a small rat scampering into the dark. Aaron was surprised at how overwhelmed he could be by this problem, but even being in the house for a few minutes had him desperate for space and clean air. y/n’s apartment made total sense to him now. There was no clear path in this room and Hotch moved over whatever he needed to to get to the far wall. Under a window that was also covered with cardboard, he found a twin bed. It was mostly clear of stuff apart from the detritus in the room and he wondered if y/n or her mother had kept that one space clean. He was thankful to see the stuffed animal was on the center of the bed, old and stained brown by some substance of unknown origins. Aaron picked it up and moved as quickly and carefully as he could back out of the house. He attempted to look like he wasn’t running out of the place to not make y/n feel worse about his being there, but there was no hiding that once he was outside he felt so much better. He drank in the air like water and had a final fit of coughing before he moved toward y/n. 

The very sight of Aaron with her old stuffed animal had y/n near tears again. She could have lived without it, but it had been a single constant in her life and it was a reminder of everything she’d lived through. Having it felt like a trophy: “I made it. I’m here. Look at where I am now.” As soon as Hotch handed the bunny over with his long arms, and once y/n’s hands were around the worn-out toy whose fur was all but gone where she had hugged it as a child, she broke. There was nothing or no one that could have stopped her from pulling the rabbit to her chest and crumbling to the ground with sobs that wracked her body so hard that it hurt to breathe. Hotch watched as she crumbled to the ground and he ran forward trying to catch y/n, but she slipped out of his grasp like oil. y/n was curled in on herself and shaking and Hotch bit the inside of his lip. He moved slowly, not going to make any surprise moves on y/n’s fragile mental state, as he lowered himself to the ground. Once on his knees, Aaron leaned forward and placed one of his large hands on y/n’s back. She didn’t pull back from his touch, either too overwhelmed to do so, or comforted by him. Either way, after a moment Hotch leaned in further and covered her more with his body, anchoring her to something other than the ground and herself. 

It felt like a long time, like forever until y/n’s cries weakened and her breathing evened out. y/n let her body relax slightly, exhausted by her outburst. There were so many things y/n wanted to say to Aaron about how she was behaving. She figured this type of volatility could get her kicked off of the BAU, which is one reason she’d not wanted anyone’s help with this situation. She wanted to apologize but all she could say was the question that had been plaguing her for years, “Do you know what it feels like to have someone that’s supposed to love you chose absolutely shitty worthless trash over you? Do you know what that’s like Hotch?” y/n had spoken so softly that it was hard for Aaron to understand her, but the existential ache in her voice was one he knew well and he replied honestly, “No, y/n. I don’t, and I’m sorry you have to ask questions like that to yourself.” There was another loaded pause and y/n let herself go fully limp. Hotch hadn’t left yet and there was nothing left to lose if she just let go for a moment. She’d spent her energy, there was nothing left to give. Hotch supported y/n’s body, never letting it fully lay on the ground. He looked over her and said softly, “Let me get you to your hotel, y/n. Or just away from here, okay?” 

y/n nodded and Hotch helped her to her feet. She leaned on him heavily. Letting him take her anywhere but here. The pair was moving toward Aaron’s car when they stopped. y/n looked up from the ground to see what the issue was and why they had stopped. As soon as she saw who was approaching them, she froze. Went absolutely stiff as a board, and if Aaron hadn’t been there she would have fallen over, but her hands gripped onto his shoulder like a vice and she could feel him flinch but not move away. 

Aaron saw the man walking their way slightly later than he’d liked. He was leading y/n toward his car. He was going to take her to the hotel and try and get some food and water in her before making any more suggestions. But this new man, though he seemed harmless could pose a problem to him getting them out of there as fast as possible. The approaching figure walked with a limp and was probably about fifteen years older than Hotch. When he stopped he could feel y/n stop too, bumping into him slightly. He could feel her eyes lift past his shoulder where y/n’s hand was resting and the change in demeanor was so drastic that he could feel it. The coldness and stiffness radiating off y/n signaled her discomfort along with her harsh grip on his body. Instinctually he moved in front of y/n. Whoever this guy was, he was bad news. Hotch’s protective stance didn’t stop the man from walking about a foot from them and saying in a weak voice, “y/n. Is that you? It’s hard to believe it’s you. I haven’t seen you in years.” The man spoke like Aaron wasn’t even there, and there was an awkward pause when y/n should have responded back in some way but didn’t. That didn’t stop the man from continuing like nothing odd was happening here and saying, “I heard about your mother, y/n. I’m sorry… I just wanted to come over here and let you know.” y/n’s grip tightened on his shoulder even more but he didn’t grimace, and when y/n replied in a voice so void that he wouldn’t believe she was there if she wasn’t holding him so tight, “I’m sure you are,” Aaron knew something terrible had happened between them. No one sounded like y/n without it, whatever it was, it was bad. 

That was when the flip switched on in Hotch and he moved in front of y/n totally blocking her from view. If looks could kill the man in front of Hotch would have been found in cardiac arrest so bad that it seemed medically impossible. Aaron didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to as the man finally noticed his presence and almost wilted on site. The man opened his mouth and extended his hand out a millimeter but then just as quickly shut his chapped lips and turned on his heel moving as fast as she could without it looking like an outright sprint toward another building further in the neighborhood. 

Once the man was out of sight, Aaron moved y/n to his car and opened the door for her. She slipped into the passenger seat and was back to her early state in the BAU. When she would lose all affect. Hotch helped buckle her in and then got in on the driver’s side. He started the car and turned on the AC, it had gotten surprisingly warm and Hotch felt flushed and he couldn’t tell if it was from anger or something else. The pair didn’t talk during the ten-minute drive to y/n’s hotel. However, Hotch looked over at y/n every now and then to make sure she was still with him. It felt like if he didn’t stay tuned in on her she might slip away to a place he’d never be able to find her again. At the hotel, Hotch asked y/n what her room number was and she said, “251” and handed over her key fob. Hotch took it in his hand and led y/n inside and up to her room. If a stranger walked past them they might think something sketchy was going down. y/n looked drugged from her state and Aaron was like someone taking advantage of that opportunity. But there was no one there to see them, and for that, Hotch was grateful. 

y/n slumped into bed and Hotch sat down on the edge of the mattress. He knew that he needed to give y/n space. To let her rest and recover herself from what must have been a terrible day even though it had only been an hour that he’d been with her. He’d ask her if she’d like him to leave or stay, but first, he asked, “y/n, who was that guy?” For the first time since they’d gotten to the hotel room, y/n looked at Aaron and said in a whisper, “Don’t make me say it, Aaron. Please…” Hotch needed and put his hand on her shoulder and nodded. He didn’t need to know. Inside he knew, and he realized in that moment he wasn’t leaving y/n alone. Not ever; she’d been alone for too long and he’d help her change that if she wanted that. 

It wasn’t until a few months later, when the air had cleared and the skies stopped looking perpetually gray that y/n told Aaron what he had asked months ago. This was after they had been dating for a while. He knew almost everything about her now. He had found out the main source of her shame and after that there had been little to hide from him, thus beginning a relationship had been natural. She had asked him many times why he came that day and his answers varied, but the theme was consistent. “I was worried about you. I had a bad feeling. I just needed to be there,” and whatever other motivation Hotch might have had conscious or not y/n didn’t question them. He’d come when she had needed someone and now as they were laying next to each other, in their pajamas and a sheet over them she’d tell him the rest. 

y/n rolled on her side and ran her hand down Aaron’s sharp jawline. His stubble was slightly growing out, and she knew he’d shave it later that day. His dark eyes found hers and a hint of a smile on his face. y/n said, “Hotch, you once asked about that guy, in my mom’s neighborhood. Do you still want to know?” Hotch’s eyelids closed slightly. He was thinking through this offer. It wouldn’t change anything about how he thought about y/n. He had the utmost respect for y/n and how she had handled her life after all the terrible situations she’d lived through. And this would be no different. He knew he’d respect y/n for how she’d acted in whatever situation she had been put in, but his response wouldn’t change. Because of that he honestly replied, “y/n, if it would bring you peace and make you feel better then I’d like you to tell me. If it would make you feel bad or change anything then I don’t need to know. I’d like to know, but there are parts of ourselves that can stay hidden if it’s for the best. I trust you to know what’s best.” 

y/n had a feeling this would be the response from Aaron. He always was so considerate of her and her past. She knew that even though Hotch said he wouldn’t look at her differently, there was the nagging feeling in her mind, that was always in her mind, that the truth would push whoever she was with away. And even if it was slightly selfish, y/n loved Aaron so much that if she had to lose him, then she’d rather be the one to cut the cord sooner rather than latery/n let out a deep breath and said, “I’d like to tell you.” y/n paused before adding, “I’ve never told this to anyone before, so if I get confused or it sounds weird, I’m sorry.” Hotch nodded with understanding. He placed his hand on y/n’s arm and looked at her with encouragement. 

y/n got that far-away look in her eyes as she did when she thought about the far-away past. However, he could tell that she wasn’t fully immersed in the memories as her thumb glided over his knuckles. Aaron wondered if it was too painful to fully go back there, but either way, he was ready to listen. y/n took a shallow breath and said, “My mom’s… problems… have always been there. She used to tell me that it had nothing to do with me. I got that, or I tried to, but even if the hoarding wasn’t about me, it still affected me. It still made me smell funny and made it hard to do homework, or hard to eat any normal meals. When I was very young I just assumed everyone lived like we did because we were pretty isolated.” There was a break as y/n bit the inside of her lip as she decided how to continue. When she had her timeline as clear as her mind would allow, she continued her story: “When I got old enough to go to school I had a real wake-up call and I figured out that what I was living wasn’t ‘normal’ as I had believed. This meant that I got out more often, which I was glad about and I joined as many clubs and sports as possible to stay away from home. But I was like, eleven, so there weren’t a ton of options and we were poor, but I did what I could.

This was a blessing and a curse because I made some friends, but I never told anyone about what it was like at home. It was too embarrassing for me. My absence and meeting new people gave my mom time alone to buy more stuff without me around and it gave her a chance to meet some new people too. You know my soccer coach, or drama friends mom’s and dad’s.” Aaron nodded. y/n was slowing down, which he sensed meant that the story was going to get harder to tell from then. y/n swallowed and continued, “Mom started bringing guys around, drinking and stuff, but none of them would stay once they saw what her place was like, and I don’t blame them. Then one day one of your neighbors, that man that talked to me when you were at my mom’s house was over. I found them together more and more at home, so I thought they had a thing. I was surprised that he stuck around. Rumors fly in that type of environment. One day when the house was really really bad he told me I could spend some time with him at his place if I wanted somewhere clean to study.” Hotch’s brows pulled together. He’d heard these stories time and time again and the pit in his stomach balled into a knot. 

“I thought he was being nice, at first. It was nice for a while, but he, you know, he made me pay him back for his kindness. Aaron pulled y/n into a tight hug and whispered, “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry.” There was a tense pause before Hotch asked, “Did you ever tell your mom?” y/n tensed and he knew this was the point that was tormenting her. Not that any of what she had said before wasn’t incredibly inhuman and cruel, but there were strong feelings attached to what was coming next. y/n was silent as she nodded her head yes. She sobbed into his chest and rasped out, “I did tell her after it got bad. She… she didn’t believe me. She didn’t want to believe me, because that man was someone who was willing to live and sleep with her delusions. I was the price of that relationship.” Hotch nuzzled his nose into her shoulder and whispered, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” over and over again like a lullaby. After y/n had soothed slightly, she said, “I never told anyone else, Aaron. I let it fester, and I was scared. But… what if he hurt other people after me? Other kids? I can’t live with that. This job, our job, I thought it would make my guilt feel better, but no matter how hard I try it doesn’t go away.” 

Aaron pulled up a bit and wiped away y/n’s tear-stained face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and so sad. Hotch shook his head and said, “y/n, you were a child. So many people failed you. I imagine you were clinging to what you knew. The only thing you knew. No one can blame you for that, and if they do, that’s on them. I am so sorry that no one was there to protect you then. I’m here now, no one, no one will ever hurt you like that again, and if you want to talk more about this, I’m ready to hear you. If you want comfort, I’m here. If you want to speak to someone, a therapist, or a lawyer, I’m here. I’m here,” Hotch echoed again making sure she knew that she’d never be put in that place again. As long as he was alive, it would never happen again. y/n relaxed against him. She felt so much lighter having said everything. She knew Aaron, and she knew he was speaking the truth - he was there for her and he would be as long as she wanted him to be. Aaron, despite his flaws, was committed, and he didn’t give up on things. y/n rested her hand against his heart and felt it beating under her palm, steady like he was, and for the first time in over a decade, she had nothing to hide from someone she cared for. 

Hotch was sure to be careful with this new information y/n had shared with him. He had an even keel and he kept his promises. He had even more respect for y/n than before, and he treated her the same with that new knowledge. He knew that if he made a big deal of y/n’s situation that was not what she wanted. Like all things with their relationship, they took time with each other, letting what needed to happen do so in due time. However, even though Hotch could treat y/n with the same love, the knowledge of the man’s actions who had harmed her so severely ate at him. Not only that, but that he had seen him. That the man who had tormented someone so young and innocent was still walking around free of repercussions started a small seed of darkness in his spirit. 

Aaron normally didn’t let cases get to him, but whenever there were children involved he could only imagine Jack and now a young version of y/n in the same situation. Sometimes he dreamed of the man he’d seen in the trailer park. Dreamed of him dying in various ways. He knew it wasn’t good. He knew he couldn’t let him affect him this much, but there was no stopping the hatred that was growing in his heart. After a while, Hotch had researched the man and found out where he worked, and his criminal record. It was no shock that he had a long list of pretty crimes one of assault and battery. Aaron was always shocked by the freedom of information. It took him two days to find all of this out. He realized he was privileged as an agent, it was his job to find information about people, but even so, the surveillance state seemed to be getting worse every day and no one even noticed it. He pushed that thought aside as he glared at the address on the online yellow pages. He closed the private tab and sighed, making a not to delete all of these accounts once he got home and to call Jack and see how he was doing. 

After a few months of dreams about the man and y/n  that seemed to intensify in violence, Hotch knew that he couldn’t outrun this feeling of anger. It ran in his family, and he could normally control it, but this situation dealt with someone who was as close to himself as anyone had been, so forgiving and forgetting was not an option. Plus, the pervert who had hurt y/n didn’t deserve to be forgiven. He deserved what was coming to him. Aaron knew he couldn’t risk doing something like Elle had, even if that too was justified. He had far too many people relying on him, but he knew this anger wasn’t helping him, so with careful thought and research, he made a plan. Yes, couldn’t be a Batman-type vigilante doling out justice, but he sure as hell could instill fear into the hearts of weak, hurtful, and manipulative men, and that was what he was planning to do. 

He waited until the team was on break and y/n was going to see a good childhood friend. He knew she’d be so wrapped up in spreading her warmth with those around her that she’d not fully notice if he wasn’t as responsive as usual. This plan was only going to take two days according to his carefully crafted agenda. With the team on leave, he’d also be safe from a case calling him away and the other BAU members wondered why he was near the edge of the state and not at his apartment which was a forty-minute drive to Quantico. 

It was early when Aaron caught his 4:45 AM flight. He didn’t need to, he could drive to the trailer park easily, but he didn’t want to leave a clear trail behind his actions. He rested during the flight and knew that once his task was done, he’d be able to let this go and be fully present for y/n. To return the care she always gave him. He felt that he couldn’t love her unless he let this hatred go. The flight was short, less than an hour, and it landed in a small dinky airport on the edge of Virginia. He then rented a car from the airport and paid in cash. As the sun was fully lighting the sky, Hotch pulled up to the work site where the man he was after was sitting in an air-conditioned office, making sure workers didn’t get hurt on the job. When Aaron found out that that was what the man did, he could only cringe at the irony of someone like that keeping grown men safe but having such neglect for children. 

Hotch turned off the car and sat for a moment, tapping his hand on the wheel for a second. He was wearing work clothes, some he’d picked up at Goodwill two days ago. As he stepped out of the truck, he fit right in with the other men coming on the job. It was bound to be a hot day from the sun and lack of clouds. Hotch didn’t look at anyone as he walked toward the portable set of offices on the construction site. He stepped up the wooden stairs and entered the door on the left side. The man he was looking for sat in an uncomfortable-looking swivel chair, drinking a bitter cup of coffee. The man looked up at Aaron and eyed him over. Clearly thinking he was looking for a job, the man said, “HR is the door over. You’re lucky, we fired some guys yesterday.” Hotch clenched his jaw and didn’t say anything. The silence intensified and the man uncomfortably cleared his throat and said, “Can I help you with something?” Hotch let out a breath and locked the door of the office from the inside, trapping the man in with him. The man fidgeted in his chair, not expecting this kind of reaction and not having a clue what to do. 

Once Aaron was standing in front of the man’s desk he said, “There is something you can do for me. And you will do it, or you’ll regret the rest of your sorry life.” The man in the chair swallowed thickly and stuttered, “M-man what’s this about? Do I know you?” A tiny flash of understanding moved over his face but it went away as the fear returned. Given his response, the man clearly had more than one enemy, and perhaps this wasn’t the first time this kind of conversation had happened before. Aaron didn’t take the long road as he said, “If I so much as see you, or know that you’re around a child, ever, you’ll be in the ground before you can reach for your phone and try and call the cops.” A look of horror splashed the man like water and he took a bit too long to reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know any kids man.” 

Aaron let out a breath and replied, “I don’t believe you. The way you’re biting the inside of your mouth right now tells me you’re lying. Also, the sex offender registry says otherwise. If you’re going to blatantly lie to me, at least be right.” Another minute of silence elapsed and Hotch continued, “You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t lie to me. So I’m going to say it once more. If I ever see your face near a kid, or in a paper, or near someone I care about I will end you, and you’ll regret every choice you ever make. If you think you can get away with doing something you’re wrong. Every time you pass a school, every time you sit in a pew, or at a restaurant you’d better be watching your back because I will be there somehow someway.” 

Hotch slammed his hands on the cheap wooden table, shaking it and the trailer as the man flinched away. The man closed his eyes, expecting to be hit, but by the time he opened his eyes, the large man who had threatened his life was walking out the door. 

Back in the car, Aaron pulled out, the man wouldn’t call the police, if he did, his criminal record who be brought up again, and questions would be asked. Questions the man couldn’t afford to answer. Hotch took his time driving back. He made a one-night stay at a hotel and saw a one-man play of Marx in Soho. He enjoyed the performance, but it was more of a cover-up than anything else. The team would ask him what he’d done while off and he’d have something to tell them for once. The next afternoon, he checked out of his hotel and drove back to the city. He arrived at the rental return lot in the evening, dropped off the car, and then got back into his own. As he entered the driver's seat, he felt the need to be with y/n. To have her presence relax him and to know that he’d done the right thing. He texted her to ask if she was back yet. As he started the car, he got a text from y/n saying, “Aaron, yeah I’m back. I got home this afternoon. I was just going to sleep early, I just got out of the shower. If you want to come a spend the night I’d love to have you here.” Hotch’s heart warmed at her response and he quickly texted back that he’d be over in a few minutes. 

When Aaron got to y/n’s apartment he parked in a visitor spot and grabbed his keys. He let himself in with his spare and closed the door with a soft click, locking it behind him. There was only the small stove light and lamp on in the kitchen and front room. Hotch looked into the clean space and called out, “Honey, I’m here. Do you want me to turn off the lights?” The soft reply from the bedroom was a simple, “Yes, please.” Hotch smiled and switched off the lights and then moved down the wooden hallway and into y/n’s room. 

y/n was just crawling into bed in her favorite night shirt when her bedroom door opened. She beamed at Aaron. Seeing him always made her feel safe, and even though she was tired, she was so happy for him to be here. “Are you staying tonight, or just stopping by to say hi?” Aaron looked around the room, feeling better being here already. Once he started slipping off his shoes and undoing the buttons on his shirt, y/n relaxed more into the bed now that she knew he was staying. When he was just in his briefs, Hotch dipped into bed and turned off the main light in the room. Under the covers he snuggled y/n from behind, breathing in her scent of moisturizer and shampoo. He stayed like that for a little while as they both got comfortable. y/n hummed her approval and whispered, “I’m sorry I’m not up for more tonight. Thanks for coming. How was your break?” Aaron kissed the nape of her neck and replied equally softly, “It was good. I saw a play you’d like yesterday. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.” Aaron could feel y/n smile in front of him as she said, “Agent Aaron Hotchner, the man of culture. I can’t wait, love.” 

y/n was as tired as she sounded as she fell asleep a few minutes later. Hotch brushed her hair lightly and held her a little more tightly as he relaxed for the first time since y/n had told him the extent of what had happened to her. He couldn’t save everyone, sometimes it was too late, but this once, this once he was going to be there for someone. He was going to keep being there. As he drifted off, he was able to sleep and not have any dreams at all.

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[tsoberi]

hsjajsjs something I've been working on

Paranoid painting guy

Uaaaaa so sorry for not posting recently, alot of things happened 😞👎 will try to post the kazuha hcs soon 🙏 please take this for now, will talk about mr sketch when asked

[sammygrimoire]

An infamous streamer, Ghost_king(too obvious, i know), known due to hero forum/analysis channel gets popular after multiple thirst edits of a really well built man doing, mostly, somewhat, off cam interactions with him, or just walking across in the background and promptly get even more popular when an edited clip of a live stream video was uploaded about the chat asking about it.

Ghost_king:(with half his face mostly obscured as usual, but still manages to come off animated and very expressive) that was my... uh, boyfriend?? Actually...wait, no, um, I'm engaged? So, technically he's my fiancés..?

The whole chat blows up; congratulating him being engaged and spamming about why he sounded confused/hesitant.

Ghost_king, casually answers: oh, it's cause he didn't really have a choice

Video cuts off just as the chat starts spamming multiple asks, popping one after the other. Ghost_king's face blanking out before a look of horror dawns and as he lunges toward the camera.

Ghost_king: wait, no-

Multiple theories and reddit forms got uploaded left and right; ranging from the streamer, Ghost_king, was blackmailing his boyfriend/fiancée in being a relationship with him, Ghost_king being a heir to a mafia and (considering how overly well built the other guy is) was actually his personal bodyguard before the engagement but then was forced to be wed after Ghost_king fell in love and demanded it.

Theories after theories, some more well thought out and others just straight up outrageous. It didn't help that Ghost_king disappeared after that abruptly cut offed stream.That information even managed to catch the batfam's attention. Specifically was brought up by Tim/Steph, out of curiosity and concern had an investigation started about it. Meanwhile, Jason seems a little too quiet.

[lxmelle]

Spoilers.

The ending is very close to the jujutsu world that Geto and Gojo always dreamed of.

One that didn’t rely on just the One Strong person.

A sorcery institution that protected the youth and would try to shoulder the blame / responsibility.

A hierarchical system that wasn’t led by selfish old gits who upheld outdated values.

A world of relative peace.

A team of sorcerers who are “strong and intelligent comrades”.

Individuals who would fight for and with each other.

Sorcerers who have been touched by feelings of loss and understand the value of belonging - will likely open their arms to others, nurturing more of the same in the future.

The roots for a place that others can feel like they would be coming home to - a “family”.

A world that wouldn’t leave anyone behind.

A world that would try to leave the pain of the past behind, but carry along (keeping) its precious memories to heart — without it being a wound that created loneliness. Gojo and Geto fundamentally strove to create a world that would not have casualties like themselves who were far too young to shoulder huge burdens all on their own.

…for the last point, this really echoes real life. People do die, and those left behind have to find a way for life to carry on.

Their legacy may or may not continue. Sometimes it does continue when a real revolution occurs. We have reason to believe a real revolution did occur. Gojo and Geto did straddle the two worlds because they elicited change. They took on the brunt of the blame and responsibility. This was what they wanted. It gave them meaning. And this was meant to be the most fulfilling thing for them.

Even within the series, one day, Gojo Satoru will be talked about just as Gojo himself talked about his ancestors. Maybe like Tengen and co. who first brought peace to the world. Those of that new era will not be able to put a face to his name. Or understand their methods. May not wish to.

And it’s... okay. That’s arguably the way it’s meant to be. Life does go on.

You can remember as the reader.

This is what it means to grieve, I think.

Things like this touch the core of what it means to be human. Facing death. Loss. Grief. How we make sense of it.

I’m filled with gratitude that I fell into this series by chance. There are so many memories of where I was when I read this or how I felt when I read that.

My feelings for the series and the characters will change one day.

It’s normal. It’s okay.

In this very moment, I’m so grateful for the series, the vision created by Gege, and the community who love jjk - especially those who choose to keep it alive and embrace their fandom by expressing it in healthy ways that love each other rather than tearing each other down.

[artistzjay]

You know what I find really interesting, annoying, and frustrating all at the same time?

How people dumb down characters to make the other characters look good.

Or when they take away all of the bad traits from one character to make that character liked but amplify the other party’s bad qualities or add bad qualities that doesn’t exist.

As in basically making them OCs.

Like how they make a characters in Miraculous Ladybug worse than what they are and how they make Marinette the most amazing person on earth when she literally broke into Adrien’s house multiple times and stalked him on multiple occasions.

Yet the fandom is creating such fiction that will reconstruct the entirety of the show, especially the salt fanfiction, making the class to be such bullies because of Lila, like making Alya some kind of angry, irrational dog or Adrien some kind of really creepy dude, when, in reality, Marinette, actually the creep all because of the chameleon episode.

Is Alya not the best of friends? Yes.

Was Adrien’s advice to Marinette stupid? In my opinion, yes.

Did they make the characters dumb (dumber than usual) in chameleon? Yes.

Marinette is a kid but her classmates around e also children and her crimes are much bigger than their in the show and the fanfic is just making it seem like her crimes are not existent.

Or in DC fanfiction where they make characters like the Green Lantern or The Flash or Superman incredibly dumb or incredibly incompetence for the Bats.

Then, in reality, Hal graduated top of his class and has (what I believe are) a aviation degree and engineering degree, working on extremely complex projects of aircraft, Barry is a forensic chemist and literally works on crime scenes, or Clark who is literally a reporter who won two Pulitzers awards, works at one of the best newspapers in the industry/world, and does amazing work on his stories

And all of them have use their intelligence to defeat their enemies bigger than themselves, but writers just throw it all away to make them complete blundering idiots or just straight up a-holes for Batman and his family.

Just complete disregard for the characters quality in who they are and what they stand for.

[tmnt-fandom-family-reunion]

Welcome to the TMNT Fandom Family Reunion!!

This is a tmnt fandom event made to bring the fandom closer together! It isn't a comp, though there are some competitive aspects for you daredevils or there!

Applications for co-moderators close May 24th!

Submissions for AU's will close May 31st, 3:30 pm PST!

The list of participating AU's will be released by May 31st, 9:00 pm PST

The event will begin the first week of June!

AU Submissions (closed)

Co-Moderator Application (closed)

Feel free to send an ask with any questions you may have!

- Moth

[friendlyneighborhoodhottie]

───♡───────────── Let Me Help (Dave Lizewski x Reader -Hurt/Comfort-) ───♡─────────────

You're stressed out because of things at home, but Dave makes you feel better. Light language

364 Words.

♡⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹_. ༶ ⋆˙⊹⁺♡

Senior year had been kicking everyone's asses. Between finals, majors, colleges, trades, and balancing your social life, you were overwhelmed. You were so grateful for your best friends Dave, Todd, and Marty for making this time so much easier.

You all decided to spend that Friday night at Dave's in his living room studying, goofing off, and just enjoying each other's company.

Hours passed, and it was getting really late, so Marty, followed by Todd, left to go home.

It was just you and Dave now.

"I should probably get going too" you said. You slightly smiled but had a hint of sadness on your face and Dave noticed.

"Are you okay? You can stay longer if you want" he proposed, "We can catch up on more issues of Batman or watch more YouTube.". He didn't want to seem annoying and pry, but he didn't want any best friend of his to leave feeling defeated about something.

"Yeah, I just have a lot of shit going on at home. I don't want to trauma dump or anything on you." You said waving your hands. You stood up from the couch getting ready to grab your bag.

"Hey, wait, come back. Come sit next to me." He gently says in a concerned tone. He scooted over to create more room for you.

"You wouldn't be trauma dumping, you're just venting. Talk to me, that's what friends are for." he says in that soft and raspy voice of his.

You sat next to him and he turned his body toward you. You press your lips together before opening up about what's got you so down, your home life, and how stressed you feel. He nodded his head, looking at you as you spoke.

"I'm sorry." you mumble as you wipe away tears that formed with your sleeve.

He moved closer to wrap his arm around your shoulders before saying, "No, you don't have to apologize for anything. You did nothing wrong. I won't judge you for anything. And anytime you need someone, I'll always be there for you".

You nodded as more tears fell down your face.

He hugged you.

"Give me a call or come over whenever. I'll always make time for you."

[kursedmayo]

This is gonna be a a bit of a controversial take but to me Farcille to me is not very appealing since Falin and Marcille's relationship is a bit too complex to be boxed into a simple ship. There's both gay, platonic and familial implications and I don't think I've seen this type of relationship in media before actually.

In the Anime they really went all in on the yuri domtext- I refuse to call it subtext because its not, in fact sub (jk) but in the manga it's a bit more ambigious. In both media though they're portrayed as close, like way too close just to be friends. I think this might have to do with initial impressions, Marcille treating Falin like a little sister while Falin treats Marcille more like friend.

If you've read the Manga there was an implication that at some point Marcille wanted a younger sibling, but apparently she ended up being the youngest and the last child (if my memory serves correct). When she met Falin, she was a bit shy, tomboy-ish, and seemingly carefree when they met, which can sometimes be perceived as someone being pretty childish. Because of that, in her mind Marcille may have somewhat adopted the idea that Falin is younger than her and such, and then her subconscious childhood desires made her think of Falin as a little sister. I myself is more receptive to receiving or initiating touch with my brothers since I'm comfortable with them, so I can see why they're comfortable being physically close often.

This may also be why she dislikes Toshiro (Shuro) so much, she was particularly defensive of her little sister. I kinda doubt Falin discussed ever wanting to get into a relationship so maybe Marcille wanted to beat back unwanted suitors? At the same time this may just be her being jealous and not wanting to let Falin go, which can be interpreted to be something due to romantic feelings for Falin.

Meanwhile, when Falin met Marcille her impression was that she was a cool academic girl that took interest in her and befriended her. Marcille is most likely her first friend at that point and quickly became her best friend. She clearly admires Marcille and good LORD have you seen that bath house scene?? It was much less yurified in the Manga since Marcille was clearlu tired from using ancient magic and was having delayed reactions but I really dont think that was sisterly in any shape or form, it seems far too intimate. Keep in mind she was the one who initiated the hand locking in the bath house, not Marcille, so that may imply sometjing. So this brings me to my final conclusions.

Marcille probably thinks of Falin like a little sister or at least perceives Falin as someone younger than her that she wants to take care of. At the same time though her relationship with Falin is also hard to define completely by familiar or platonic because Laois is literally there for comparison and their relationships don't seem very similar to me.

On the other hand, Falin most likely sees Marcille as her best friend, someone either her equal or greater in skill or talent. When she has a slightly embarassing problem (like her constant flushed cheeks) she wants help with, she trusted Marcille enough to go straight to her instead of figuring it out herself so that says quite a lot, considering Falin seems to be of the independent type and don't like bothering people. However, there are also some odd vibes regarding her behavior with Marcille that prevents me from also waving Farcille off, so again I hesitate to box their relationship nearly into a single category.

So yeah. No hate to Farcille but I think I'd rather label these two weirdos with "???" instead of just friends, sisters or girlfriends. It feels a bit more accurate that way.

[sipkntl]

he's got a good head of hair, aye.

slight nsfw below

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Unsweetened Lemonade [Hotch x Reader]

Photo Credits: Center (@2k17-xanax-girl) Right and Left (@lesbianhotch)

Prompt: Aaron struggles after the death of Haley, until he takes a prescription sleep aid, Halcion. The ramifications of that choice will change his and the reader's life forever. 

Pairing: Aaron x Bau-Reader

Category: Angst/Whump 

Word Count: 4.4K

Content Warnings: Drug abuse [Hotch] trauma [Hotch] distressing situations, depression, and hospitals. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Hi all! I hope you are all doing very well! Here is the first whump fic of the month! I know the month is almost over but from me the whump will continue a while longer as I have four other whump fics planned. My writing this took some time but I was happy when I was writing rather than stressed, so I think that’s a good thing. The fic title is based on the song by Amélie Farren titled "Unsweetened Lemonade" I recommend you give it a listen if you are down. That being said, thank you to everyone who has kept up with me, or to any new readers or followers! Please be kind to yourselves this week and do something you love, you are so special. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

“You are relieved of your duties, Agent Hotchner. I wish you well with your future endeavors.” The words stung Aaron more than he expected. He knew this was coming, but the reality of it hit him like a splash of cold water. Hotch refused to look away from Strass. He could tell from her expression that she didn’t wish him well. What was worse was that he knew she knew. He got up from his chair and extended his hand. The Director also stood, and the height difference between them was almost funny. She took his large hand and gave it one firm shake before dropping her hand to her side and giving him a look that said, “You’re dismissed.” without having to utter a sound.

Aaron took a breath and walked out the door. Dave was at the end of the hallway, he had been the whole meeting. Aaron shook his head, no, and Rossi dropped his head. He’d clearly wanted, and maybe even expected a different outcome. Hotch hadn’t, he’d seen it coming for over a month now. No matter how much he thought about the outcome of today, he’d never in a million years seen his life turning out like this. Only a few months ago everything had been fine, fine? 

Many weeks after Haley had died, Hotch had still woken up dripping sweat from night terrors or nightmares about her dead corpse rotting, stalking, or begging him to let her live. Night after night his former wife was tormenting him for not being good enough. Worse, it wasn’t his failure as a husband, but his failure as an FBI Agent and Unit Chief. When he’d almost passed out and had a breakdown on a case, Dave had pulled him aside and insisted that he go to a hospital. Aaron felt guilty about going to get care during a case. He’d resisted. However, when the small-town doctor had filled a prescription for Halcion and he had taken the meds that first night, he had the best sleep of his life, or at least for the last year. 

Things really had been good for a bit after that. When he felt like he needed a strong night’s sleep, Aaron would pop one of the small blue-greyish pills and would knock out a few minutes later. The team had even noticed his improvement in mood and energy. Most of them thought that it was because he was continuing this therapy, which he’d stopped as soon as was allowed by the departmental standards. He couldn’t speak about his failings any more than he had. When the topic of Haley came up, he’d felt such a sharp pain in his chest and stomach it made him want to vomit. 

On one of those good mornings, y/n had brought pastries and coffee for the team. Aaron was nowhere to be seen, and she knew that meant he was either in a meeting or holed up in his office like he normally had been -- more -- in the months before Foyett. Just as she ascended the stairs, the elevator dinged and Aaron stepped out and toward his office. y/n offered him one of her brilliant smiles and said, “Speak of the devil.” Hotch chuckled and replied, “Who, me?” y/n rolled her eyes and said, “I brought you one of those danishes you like from the bakery. You know you’re losing weight, right? What do I need to do to fatten you up?” y/n said it half in jest, but there was a seed of truth in her statement as well. 

Aaron and y/n had an odd relationship. Almost like they were dating, but they weren’t. But if anyone else saw them, that would be the assumption. Aaron opened the door for y/n and said, “I could write you up for insubordination for a comment like that y/n, you know.” y/n brushed past him and looked into his eye a slight twinkle in her own as she said, “Right, right, and you’ve said that to me how many times this week already.” 

When Hotch got to his desk, he poked back and replied, “Where’s my coffee? I see Reid and Garcia have theirs.” y/n crossed her arms over her chest and said, “You don’t need coffee. You’ve been more active than usual these last few weeks. What’d the therapist give you? Or did they finally put the cocaine back in Coke?” Aaron looked up, straight-faced, but he was near laughter. However, y/n’s words cut close. Too close. He could feel the pills in his desk like a small fire threatening to get bigger with a small gust. He wasn’t supposed to have kept taking them, but the form that he had gotten from the small-town doctor who was also the psychiatrist, was so easy to change to his D.C. doctor’s name so he could get a refill by just going to the website and hitting a button. Thankfully for him, the office staff hadn’t noticed the change yet. 

Hotch had never done drugs, at least not hard ones. In undergrad, there’d been some weed, and LSD, but nothing major and not often. He didn’t find it so hard to stop, as he needed his full faculties for school. He realized it wasn’t worth the high of the moment versus the accomplishments he could make in the future. Now he felt like he was back in his dorm as he took his one pill a night, but he hadn’t seen any negative consequences so far, and as y/n had said, he even had more energy which was better for the team, and much better for Jack. 

Five months later had been the real shift. After all, the road to hell was paved with good intentions, and Hotch did think he was doing the right thing with the pills. They were helping him get back on his feet. The five-month anniversary of Haley’s death hit Aaron hard. It was close to their wedding anniversary and the two events cut into him like a red hot brand. He hadn’t expected it to be such a strong feeling that it nearly knocked him off his feet. Thankfully there wasn’t a case that week, and even if there had been, Dave would have told him to stay home anyway. That night after getting Jack to Jess’s and saying goodnight to his son, he drove back home and took two pills instead of one. He was out like a light. The dawn came and his mouth was dry and he felt a little woozy as he got out of bed to shower, but the cold water perked him up and he realized he felt pretty fucking good. Well rested again, even after something emotionally hard. 

Hotch had promised himself that taking two pills would be a rare occasion. Only for the toughest nights, and only when Jack wasn’t home. He wasn’t sure how “out of it” he was when he took two, so he didn’t dare risk it while his son was home. But the next few days he really didn‘t sleep as well and he went to work cranky and off-kilter. The pins and needles were a feeling he had and an irritation that wasn’t like him. No one on the team had really noticed, and Aaron was especially glad that his stoicism often came off as disinterest in anything apart from work. There was always Dave though. Hotch could tell that his friend was worried about him, just not sure what to be worried about. Aaron knew he’d have to come up with a valid excuse for Dave soon or start acting like a normal functioning human. 

Hotch felt bad now for how he’d treated Spencer for his Diludad addiction. Not that he hadn’t offered support and help. He’d even offered to pay for Reid to go into rehab if that was something he wanted. Of course, Reid had declined and pretty much fully recovered. There were moments sometimes when Aaron could see the desire for a hit on the young agent's face. It pained Aaron because he knew how much Spencer was struggling in those moments. However, he’d never fully understood as well as he did when he was dealing with his own addiction. Not that Hotch was willing to call what he was doing an addiction. It was just a small problem to solve. It was shocking how much cognitive dissonance Aaron held with his ever-growing issues. What he was calling a “small problem,” was developing into a fully formed addiction - though his rate of intake might have been slower than others on Benzos. 

When Aaron was on a regular schedule of taking two pills a night and starting to consider a third dose mid-day but he he hadn’t gotten there yet. It was an annoying case with as many authorities as possible walking over everyone else’s toes and getting hurt when it happened even though that party just did the same thing to the police. The team was out in a field and to be brutally honest, Hotch needed the restroom, Spencer and Emily were having a loud half conversation half argument near him, Rossi was trying to calm the state troopers, JJ was off somewhere talking to a troublesome reporter and the sun was so bright. It was giving Aaron a migraine that was only getting worse. 

Morgan was on his left asking some sort of question and becoming more insistent with each word, but Hotch couldn’t understand him and his head was pounding until he finally said, “Give me a Goddamn minute, Morgan.” A look of shock and then briefly anger flashed on the strong agent's face before Derek said, “What the hell is wrong with you, Hotch? You’ve been acting off for weeks now.” Aaron thought about snapping back, but his brain had caught up with his mouth, and he closed it before any other hateful words seeped out. He’d fucked up big time and he knew it. Even if Hotch wasn’t going to say anything else apart from an apology, Morgan who could be hot-headed was winding up to say something else. Before he got a chance, Rossi took hold of his arm and said, “Come on, Let’s take a breather before any of us say anything else that we regret.” While Rossi towed Morgan away, the light touch of y/n’s fingers on his arm indicated that he was to follow her which he did. At least in y/n’s company, he was unlikely to explode again. 

They walked in silence as the sky grew quickly grey and the wind blew the leaves on the ground in pointless circles. Hotch and y/n didn’t talk at first. y/n wanted to give him time to sort out his thoughts before asking questions or giving advice. Certainly, there had to be a reason for his odd behavior. Derek had been right about one thing, Hotch had been acting off the last month or so, but no one had yet brought it up with him. 

While y/n was thinking, Aaron’s mind was also a sea with crashing waves and he was a man lost in that vast ocean struggling to catch his breath. Unknow the the rest of the team apart from Derek there were other tensions between the men that hadn’t been resolved. Two weeks there was talk about promotions in New York or Chicago again. Morgan’s name had come up at the round table, and trying to be supportive, Hotch had only said that Derek’s leadership skills were on par or above anyone else mentioned. The next week, Strauss had called Morgan into a one-on-one meeting to discuss his possible transfer to either Chicago or New York. No matter which option Morgan picked, it would say something about Aarons's leadership and judgment. Before he had a chance to decline the offer, Erin added, “Agent Hotchner speaks very highly of your talent you know. Your ambition and drive are a cut above.” Strauss adding the last phrase, which Hotch had not said, made Morgan scowl for just a second. What did Hotch know about his drive and ambition? To him, it sounded like Aaron wanted him off the team because there was some secret competition between them. That their fearless leader was scared of him. This set Morgan off. First, he didn’t like comparison and second, he didn’t like being told what to do. 

By the time the meeting was over, Derek had told Strauss no, he was seething. He moved straight to Aaron’s office where they spent a good twenty minutes whisper yelling at each other so no one who looking into the office would think anything weird of it. Derek started strong by saying, “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Hotch. You might be my boss, but you don’t run my life!” Aaron looked a bit shocked and asked, “Pardon? What is this about?” This response only made Mogan more angry. He assumed Aaron was trying to brush it off. When he had clarified, the two continued to talk, and though they’d partially patched things up over the last week, the foundation was a bit weak at the moment. Hotch’s outburst hadn’t helped him any on that front. He could picture the small cracks in the concrete getting bigger with each step. 

Finally, after a long time, y/n asked, “You gonna be alright, Hotch?” Aaron sighed and looked at y/n before replying, “Yeah. I just have to apologize to Morgan. This case is eating at me more than normal.” That was all a lie. The Benzos were eating at his mind more. More. More. More. But y/n didn’t seem to notice as she said, “Yeah. This one’s weird. Too many cooks in the kitchen. No wonder the pot boiled over.” Hotch nodded and gestured for them to start back to the scene. He hoped if he did apologize they could get back to the prescient or motel faster, his heart was beating oddly and the pins-and-needles sensation was creeping back up his legs. The day somehow managed to drag along to a conclusion but it was long and stressful and almost as soon as he was in his room, Hotch popped three pills and planned to take even more before he slept. Once the dose hit that warm sleepy feeling came over him and the world was right again. He pushed himself toward his bed in the tacky motel room and was out like a corpse before he even had the chance to turn off the overhead light and fan that was making lazy circles and circulating the warm air around the cramped space. 

If that complicated situation with Morgan hadn’t been embarrassing enough for Aaron, then nothing would be, but he’d regret the path he was taking soon enough. And this go around, there would be no patching things up. 

It was another case. It was the dead of winter in Wyoming and there was a killer forcing people to freeze to death. The cold was biting and hard for everyone, and the team was used to cold. However, this case required them to be out in the frigid air for long stints and it made everyone feel numb at some point or another. The team was functioning pretty much as normal and after a significant lead had been taken and moved the case forward at a fast clip, Hotch called for the team to get dinner and have an early night as a reward. He said that they would pick up early in the morning and that they should get inside before someone caught a cold. Although the gesture was appreciated by the team, y/n and Rossi gave their Unit Chief a weary look. Hotch was being odd again and no one else seemed to be noticing. y/n looked over to Rossi who gave a tiny nod that had also noticed her gaze. 

They would talk about their concerns with each other when they got to the hotel. Unfortunately, their conversation about what might be wrong with Aaron would be no use, because at 3:00 AM a guest who wasn’t on the team who had gotten high tried to make microwave mac and cheese, but completely forgot to add water to the spinning plastic container. Within a minute the fire alarm was blaring as the carbs and plastic burned and sent acrid fumes throughout the hallway and the hotel as a whole. With the smoke and alarm going off, everyone asleep or not moved outside as they waited for the firemen to arrive. Everyone except Aaron. All the team were assembled outside wondering what had happened and if there was something else going on with the case or if this was a drill or any other variety of things. Hotch still hadn’t come down and they assumed he was grabbing something, but after a minute they all became worried. 

Just as they headed toward the door to go back inside and see what was wrong, the firetruck came screaming into view and the firefighters intercepted the team. One burly woman held y/n back from going inside and asked, “What do you think you’re doing?” y/n sighed and said, “My boss is in there!” y/n composed herself and pulled out her ID and said, “I’m a federal agent and he’s the Leader of the Behavior Analysis Unit, I have to get to him.” The woman huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as her unit rushed inside ready to face the “fire,” and replied, “Ma’am, you could be the King of England and I’d still not let you in there. Let my team do their jobs, please?” Desperate but with nothing else to do, y/n stepped back toward Rossi and Derek who were pacing and talking. 

After what felt like ages, the ringing of an ambulance sounded louder and louder. y/n internally begged that it wasn’t for Hotch. After all, there could be other people trapped in the tall building who were hurt. Everyone standing outside in the cold moved aside as the paramedics moved it. At this point y/n was frigid and Spencer stepped forward draping his warm sweater over her shoulder. Shocked by the sudden warmth, y/n turned around and said, “Thanks, Spence.” A few minutes later, y/n and the team could see the paramedics and firefighters moving toward the exit. Someone was on a stretcher, and once the cavalcade was outside the BAU members noticed it was Aaron being wheeled out. They all ran forward and Derek asked one of the medics, “What happened to him? Smoke inhalation?” The EMT looked up briefly and then back down before saying, “Benzo overdose, or close to. He must have been using it for some time to build up a tolerance this high. We found lots of bottles in his room. We’re having them tested to see where they’re from.” 

The comment the man made left everyone dumbfounded. Aaron had OD? The team’s silence was momentary as they burst into chatter about what this meant and if it was intentional or not. Was it related to the case? Though no one really wanted to believe it was a choice Hotch would make, Derek, Dave, and y/n knew deep down inside that this wasn’t case-related. 

When Aaron woke up, it was with the biggest sense of not knowing where he was he had ever experienced. Everything was foggy and he could feel a needle in his arm. When he could open his eyes enough to recognize Dave sitting in the corner of his room the reality of the situation sunk in. “What happened?” he rasped out. His throat was so dry that it felt like it was on fire. Rossi looked up from his corner before standing and grabbing Hotch a small paper cup full of water. Once Aaron had drunk, Dave said, “You almost died. There was an accident at the hotel and the fire alarm went off. You slept through it and the firefighters called EMS. You’re lucky someone was high last night, you might not have made it.” 

Aaron closed his eyes hearing this news. It was over, it was all over. Somehow even more so than when he took extra pills last night without really thinking about it. It wasn’t a good feeling, but at least his horrible, shameful secret was out. He didn’t have to keep hiding it or attempt to hide it. Hotch suspected Rossi had known all along and was waiting for him to ask for help. Not surprisingly, Dave asked, “Why, Aaron? Why do this to yourself? You’ve always been the strong one. The one that weathers the storm. This isn’t the friend that I know.” Rossi’s words stung, but he was right. Hotch took a few moments before saying. “Maybe I’m tired of being the strong one. I’ve had enough. After Haley… I didn’t feel like trying. I don’t want to feel like trying. I don’t want to die or anything. I need to be there for Jack, but the job is different now. Tainted. And I have a feeling when I’m gone I’m still going to be working here in some way. Something will go wrong and I’ll still somehow get the blame, ‘Oh that was Hotchner’s duty, must have not gotten to it before he was let go.’” Rossi bit the inside of his lip because Aaron was being honest. One thing about the FBI, if you could throw someone under the bus, you would cover your ass. 

Rossi said softly, “You should rest. You’re going to need it for what comes next.” Aaron gave a small nod and decided not to be a smart-ass and retort, “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing too much of here?” Surprisingly, Hotch fell asleep pretty quickly even if he thought he wouldn’t. When he woke, Rossi was gone, but he wasn’t alone. y/n was in his seat instead. She noticed he was awake and said, “How are you feeling?” Hotch gave a small grunt before saying, “You shouldn’t be in here, y/n.” The bluntness of his words cut at y/n and she furrowed her brow saying, “Aaron, it’s not like you’re going to get up and attack me, and from what I know Benzo's addiction isn’t transferred by air.” 

y/n would never have said something like that, but she felt fried and his opener hadn’t helped her mood. Hotch sighed. He knew he’d made a mistake speaking that way. But he needed to do what he did next for y/n’s sake. He could wreck his own life, but not y/n’s. He’d never do anything to hurt her. And realizing that he finally realized he loved y/n. That tiny seed had been germinating for months and finally bloomed too late;  now he’d forever lost his chance. He put on a stern face, a reprimanding face as he said, “No, I can’t give you that, but my reputation is a tainted one now, and you should stay far away from me. Pretend you didn’t even know me for your career.” y/n huffed, seeing what he was trying to do. She bit at her thumbnail before replying, “We can fix this though, right?” The panic in her voice broke Aaron as he said, “No.” 

y/n took a sharp breath in before stating firmly, “But Reid…” Hotch cut her off saying, “That was different. You weren’t there for that, y/n. We protected him. That can’t happen for me. And you are not to try and save me. Let that be my last order to you as Unit Chief.” y/n looked devastated. How was the team going to be a team without Hotch? She tried to hold back her tears but they bubbled over and she rushed from the room, not wanting Aaron to see her like this. When y/n was gone, Aaron slumped back into bed and harshly rubbed his eyes. He felt more alone than ever.

It was two weeks that Hotch was formally suspended and three days later, on a Friday he was let go from the F.B.I. Derek would be taking his spot as Unit Chief, and though he wouldn’t be there to see it, he knew it was going to be a rough transition. He was only happy for Rossi to still be there to be a mentor to Derek and the rest of the team. He’d prepped for this day that he knew was coming and as he left the office for the last time, he dropped a letter off in y/n’s mailbox. He wouldn’t be so conspicuous as to just put it on her desk. It read: 

y/n, I’m so sorry things had to end like this. You are an amazing agent and will continue to be without me here. There are so many things I regret, the things that led up to this firing, but my feelings for you as well. I know it’s unfair to you for me to do this now, but you really are a special person, y/n. Maybe, years from now when things are different we could see each other again? I hope that’s something you would want. I hope by then I’d be worthy of you. I wish you the best, and, until later, you have my best thoughts and wishes - Aaron. 

Hotch walked out the door as Derek got out of a meeting this Strauss. Agent Hotchner was to be forgotten as much as possible. No bringing him up or asking him for help. Morgan walked into the mail room and saw the letter poking out from y/n’s box. This was odd because she was relatively new and didn’t get much if any mail. Derek suspected it was from Aaron, and his suspicion was proven correct as he pulled out the letter and studied the outside. Of all of them, y/n would suffer the most from Hotch’s loss, so without much thinking about it, Derek grabbed the letter, crumpled it, and tossed it in the recycle bin. Over the next few weeks there were many challenges for the team and Aaron, but at least Aaron thought that his message had been clear, little did he or y/n know that it hadn’t been received. So the weeks went on and y/n thought Aaron had dropped her like a hot potato onto the ground, and Aaron, waiting for some sort of reply lost hope that he would hear from y/n again. Maybe she was listening to the rumors about him that must be circling the office. Either way, what could have been a sweet and lovely thing, remained soured like unsweetened lemonade.

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[nattherat96]

[lxmelle]

Preliminary thoughts on the S2 JJK guidebook.

I haven’t bought mine yet, but looking at what’s circulating on X is already making me 😭

Some have said that the skin colour of Geto became much paler as if he hadn’t gotten the glow from the sun (representing warmth & happiness) and might not have been eating well (likely due to difficulties with sourcing food from sorcerers or general need to be reclusive / busy with disgusting curse absorption).

The interview with the seiyuu/VAs stating that they interpreted Geto feeling as if Gojo was a protective amulet/charm... giving greater meaning to his Gojokesa which he wore... as if it were the only way he could safely bring Gojo along with him, after he had to let him go (to ensure his safety from his dark path). He wore it as a comfort and lingering attachment 🥺 after he felt left behind by Gojo.

“You could do it.” / “If I could be you.” - I wonder if he said that not only referring to Gojo’s innate abilities, but in the way that he felt Gojo let him go with ease / didn’t need him anymore.

The height differences were commented on where some imagined that when Gojo & Geto met again after 10 years that Geto would think, “you’re bigger than I remembered.” And Gojo would think, “you’re smaller than I remembered.” Making it so cute somehow 😅🥹 if it wasn’t so sad.

I’ve had this headcanon for ages that Gojo would stare at Geto flying off and he’d think: Is it really ok, Suguru? You’re going against me and the whole jujutsu society. What are you plotting? Or are you thinking that your family is going to be ok if you’re not there anymore? Just like you thought I’d be ok?

The VAs interpretation was that Geto didn’t change. He had the heart of a noble person and was self-sacrificing. Gojo trusted this core of Geto and understood him. He didn’t fall but changed direction.

I personally think that Geto wasn’t fundamentally evil. Gege deliberately made curses humanlike to make us question good, evil, and the importance of interpretation & intention. So we can compare the similarities and differences between people like Geto and people like Gojo/other sorcerers who walked parallel paths. If we as the readers weren’t humans, but rather curses, we would have different thoughts about what was going on.

Anyway. This isn’t a coherent post... might edit later or just leave it. Lol.

[anonymous-chicken-was-taken]

What the Ace Attorney Villains Could Get Charged With (to the best of my research) (in America laws)

Game One

!Disclaimer! I know nothing about law take this with a grain of salt I was just bored.

Frank Sahwit

Burglary - This one is obvious. He was a thief. He stole stuff. How many charges exactly depends on how many he admits to or can be traced back to him.

Breaking and entering - At least one charge from Cindy's case, potentially more depending on any other burglary charges.

Assault and battery - Hitting Cindy with the Thinker. The assault may or may not be aggravated depending on whether it was technically intended to be used in a way that would readily and likely cause death.

Second-degree murder - This one could potentially be brought down to voluntary manslaughter. It depends whether he intended to kill Cindy when he hit her, and if he was in enough emotional distress that hitting her would be semi-justifiable.

Incrimination - In pinning the blame on Larry, he did this.

Fraud - Even if pretending to be a newspaper salesman to steal from people didn't constitute fraud, Payne stated this as his job. This means he lied about his job to the court by saying he was a newspaper salesman. Which is fraud.

Perjury

Redd White

Incrimination - This is when he tried to frame Maya, and when he shifted the blame on Phoenix. This may lead to two charges.

Obstruction of justice - In incriminating Maya, he tampered with the crime scene. Plus, blackmailing a judge is probably illegal and probably falls under this.

Corruption - He was a corporate official, which makes some of this other stuff constitute corruption, mostly the blackmail.

Blackmail - Speaking of, he could be faced with countless charges of this, depending how much could be tied back to him.

Assault and battery - Punching someone in the face multiple times is illegal, kids. So is hitting someone on the head. If Frank gets aggravated for the thinker, so does he. Phoenix's assault probably wasn't aggravated, though, as I doubt his rings/fists would be ruled a deadly weapon considering the intent.

Intimidation - His threat for an "accident" to happen to Phoenix is more than enough to be considered a threat of violence.

First-degree murder - His murder of Mia was completely premeditated. There's little he can do about this.

Criminal threat - Threatening to injure or kill someone is bad. And using flowery language like "accident" doesn't negate it.

Wiretapping - While he didn't actually put the wiretap there, it can be inferred he ordered it. This makes it conspiracy, so there is some shared guilt.

Conspiracy - The wiretapping was a joint effort between him and April. He may try to claim otherwise, but its degree of success is debatable.

Workplace abuse - It's a real good sign when your secretary fears you murdering her like you did to that defense attorney a couple days ago, Redd, I'm sure you could never get in legal trouble for that.

Perjury

Dee Vasquez

Racketeering - Oftentimes, people in organized crime are automatically found guilty of this. This being charging someone for a service they haven't requested (think mafia "protection").

Blackmail - This one is also pretty obvious. Jack Hammer.

Obstruction of justice - This is her tampering with the crime scene when she moved the body. Also potentially when she tried to kill a lawyer involved with the case.

Attempted murder - By proxy, two charges, when she ordered her goons to kill Phoenix and Maya.

Voluntary manslaughter - Hammer was trying to kill her, she's got that justified self-defense plea. Not that it matters much, because...

Countless other mafia-related charges - We don't know the exact details of her mafia connections, but she's entrenched enough to have goons. We can safely say she did a lot of illegal stuff in organized crime.

Intimidation - Mafia goons trying to kill you is pretty intimidating. That and the threats of erasure.

Criminal threat - See above threats of erasure.

Conspiracy - She works together with Sal Manella in the obstruction of justice.

Perjury

Manfred von Karma

Forgery - He's known to forge evidence constantly.

Obstruction of justice - See above. Plus, tazing lawyers and stealing their evidence is pretty frowned upon. So is intimidating witnesses.

Assault and battery - The evidence room fiasco. Potentially aggravated depending on the actual voltage of the tazer and if he lied about it or not, but given they didn't die, probably not.

Theft - He stole evidence from the evidence room.

Intimidation - Brandishing a taser at someone is generally considered this.

Corruption - Being a government official, most if not all this stuff constitutes corruption.

Incrimination - Due to his conspiracy with Yogi, he is guilty of attempting to frame Miles by proxy.

First-degree murder - He sees a gun and a man he doesn't like in the elevator, and he does think about it before doing it. Thus, it is premeditated and first-degree. Also, given his conspiracy with Yogi, he may also be guilty of murdering Hammond by proxy.

Child abuse - Both Miles and Franziska could push for this, even just with what we have explicitly stated. Depending on interpretation and how poor of a guardian he was, this charge could have some serious ground to stand on.

Emotional abuse - Pretty much the same hat as the child abuse charge, only less uncertain.

Criminal threat - I don't know what you want from me, man. He threatens everyone all the time.

Torture - I haven't played investigations yet, but from what I'm looking at, he psychologically tortured a guy, so. That's pretty non Geneva convention certified of him, even if this isn't a war.

Workplace abuse - Again, this is hearsay because investigations, but he's pretty crappy to his subordinates, it seems.

Solicitation - He heavily encourages Yogi to kill Hammond and frame Miles.

Conspiracy - He provides Yogi with the means to kill Hammond, so while there is technically no mutual agreement, he's also guilty of this.

Perjury

Damon Gant

Corruption - As a government official, a great deal of his crimes constitute corruption.

Forgery - A great portion of the conflict of his case comes from the forged evidence he made.

Obstruction of justice - Most of the rest of the conflict of his case comes from the evidence he withheld.

Blackmail - Quite a severe case of it, at that. Multiple years against a single person is nothing to sneeze at.

Incrimination - That's what it was when he made it look like Ema killed Neil.

First-degree murder - He thought about killing Neil long enough to consider the pros and cons of doing so, and went through with it. That's pretty premeditated. A good lawyer may be able to get him down to second degree for Goodman, but it's highly doubtful considering.

Conspiracy - He had Lana hide Goodman's body, and while there was blackmail involved, there was still a mutual agreement. Thus, conspiracy.

Concealment of death - There are a few different names for this, but it's when he had Lana hide Goodman's body. It was unsuccessful, but there were still significant steps taken to have it happen on both their parts, so he may get a partial sentence.

Criminal threat - He makes so many threats.

Workplace abuse - I think using a pipe organ to punish your employees violates some international laws or something. Speaking of which...

Torture - Of the audio variety. Seriously this guy is the police how did this fly for so long that is BAD.

Vigilantism - This is actually very interesting. Despite the fact that he is a member of law enforcement and Joe Darke did kill multiple people, he still used illegal means to bring him to some form of justice. Depending on how much he wanted Darke convicted, it could be argued that his actions constitute vigilantism.

Assault and battery - One case of assault against Goodman, and two charges of battery against Neil and Goodman. Assault is the threat of violence and the means to follow through, and battery is the actual act of violence; seeing as Neil was unconscious, he could not have been threatened. The assault was aggravated, as a knife is a deadly weapon.

Perjury

GAME TWO

[midwestscreamo]

I think a lot of people don’t recognize how intentional the parallels between Ranma and Akane are and how that factors into their relationship.

Akane is a tomboy (but I’d probably say more futch because she’s shown wearing feminine clothing often, but it’s up to interpretation how much of that is performative or personal.) As a child, she was often mistaken for a boy and this really didn’t seem to bother her until people (her family, bless them) seemed to react to it badly. Learning she was “wrong.” Akane is stubborn, headstrong, has a temper, and also speaks her mind. While she can be a kind and gentle person, Akane is often shown with masculine traits. Fighting, clumsy, aggressive, etc. (and I love her for that.)

On the other hand, Ranma is great when it comes to performing femininity. He cares about his appearance, cleaning, is good at cooking, and most “feminine” aspects that Akane fails at he succeeds in naturally.

I think this plays in part to their relationship because Akane likes Ranma whether he’s being feminine (actually a female or performing feminine traits) or not. She is often shown comforting Ranma whenever he’s being “too soft” or “doing something wrong.”

And Ranma likes Akane whether she’s performing femininity or not. He teases her for it because he thinks that’s what a guy is supposed to do, but he likes that she’s strong. He likes that she speaks her mind and is smart. He thinks it’s hot that she can totally destroy concrete with her thighs.

It’s often said as a joke, but Ranma and Akane are a “matching set.” I just wish this aspect of their relationship was explored more in fandom. Especially for Akane, because they both have a lot of internalized sexism and homophobia to work through with their partners. Also, I love masculine Akane with girl Ranma, (it’s hot, I love to see the girls winning) but I think it’s really important to show masculine Akane with male Ranma, too. It’s equally hot for him!

[youwearfinethingswellwriter]

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