#I have to say though I do like the story
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I don't want to brag but I've gone from 10 words to 416 and after the past year of a drought I want to express that I am proud of myself. I will get these last two chapters out. I will do it.
#Lily#fanfiction#bsd#bungou stray dogs#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#I just reread it because I wanted to figure out what my holdup was#and I think I figured it out#and as I was reading it I was thinking about the transitions I was struggling with#so I'm hoping to finish this story#within the next 2 months#that is a tentative timeline#it's currently spring break#but I have a Japanese essay to write#and preparation for my final product in my other class#I should be working on my Japanese essay right now#but I was desperate to get some words down for Lily#so maybe one chapter could get posted by the end of the week and then I might have to wait a few more months until classes are out#to get the last one written#but nothing is changed of what I want to do in the last two chapters of the story#it's still the same#it's just getting it down I'm struggling with#I think it was the transitions and the point of views and how I wanted to describe it#as I was rereading I was making a plan of action on how to approach it#I have to say though I do like the story#I'm surprised I wrote that I actually really like it
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if heâd been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldnât have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didnât want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes ârecklessâ#heâs comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that heâll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesnât care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I donât know if heâd have gone back if Laios hadnât#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldnât have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille wouldâve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I donât think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falinâs friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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Where can you play ride kamens? It looks fun looking at your blog but idk where to play
it'll doesn't start until the 30th, but there's some pre-release episodes/character bits that are scattered around the website and twitter! (the links to pre-reg/download are also on the website :D)
honestly I'm really enjoying it just based off of the pre-release stuff, these characters look like they're going to be exactly that blend of ridiculous and emotionally constipated that hits me so right.
#art#ride kamens#no no i get it though water tastes DIFFERENT#anyway i'm trying not to read too much into the zangetsu/ryuugen meta but also#whenever takato opens his mouth i'm like 'this man would absolutely steal a baby'#man i almost don't even care about the actual game i'm having enough fun with the marketing#these morons are already important to me and i don't even know what their deal is#(this is very off-topic but i've always thought it would be fun to someday do one of those things)#(where the story is told entirely through an outside framework)#(like fake game manuals or posts about shows that don't exist and things like that)#(i think it's commonly used for horror but i just! like it in general!)#(an exercise in minimalism! this character has three sentences of canon and three thousand fanfics about them)#(what i'm saying is that ride kamens is proving that i can get invested based on absolutely nothing okay)
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I love Vulcans we need to get more into the emotional lives of Vulcans without imposing Human standards onto them. "The way you feel is wrong/repressive because it's not the way it's "supposed" to be from my perspective as an alien called Human" is boring to me especially when it's treated as correct. I wanna know how the aliens feel about their alien way of life. Vulcans are so interesting to me when written AS aliens and not as analogous to repressed Humans. I think about Tuvok's description of attachment to his family and how that isn't the emotion 'love' but something else, something that he feels no shame about having and sees as normal, as naturally Vulcan and I love it and I love it because there aren't any Humans there to go "Um actually checkmate you Vulcan s.o.b - that's emotion!" and he isn't being influenced by anything. These are his authentic thoughts. He sees his children, his family, as part of him. They were at times illogical, incomprehensible, and it was extremely rewarding to be in their lives. He thinks about them every day. They were well behaved. As teens they were contemptuous of authority and convinced of their own superiority. His youngest son loved one 200 verse story so he sang it to him. He'd rather die than betray his wife even in spirit. He's incomplete without them. It's obvious through Tuvok that Vulcan life is not inherently devoid of pleasure, comfort, or love and thus Human life (I think) should not be portrayed as inherently having something greater, deeper, more meaningful. I'm not talking here of society but of...emotional life. Interiority. There's this sense that all Vulcans are the same and miserable for it. That they hold themselves back and are indistinguishable and antagonistic to the self, repressed and wrong. That to be Vulcan is to suffer endlessly and Humans are all about Freedom Man and I don't know, I like that Tuvok's existence sort of challenges this as much as I acknowledge that Vulcan society is in fact repressive and unwelcoming to those who don't fit neatly into it. I'm not saying Vulcan society is a utopia, I'm questioning the perception of Vulcan emotional control - that way of life - as being inherently bad, devoid, or lacking. That Vulcans walk around with 'empty cups' and are only deluding themselves that to be that way is good. If only, Humanity moans, they could taste how delicious life could be! Tuvok is an average Vulcan. He does not struggle with emotion, he is not mixed species, he was not raised atypically, and yet he has a family he cares about and a wife he's loyal to and friends he values and none of these things seem to be Un-Vulcan to him. If Vulcan life was truly devoid of love and care, Tuvok wouldn't think of his family. They're not here, so why bother? When his pon farr came, he'd be trying to find the most compatible mate rather than risking his life by trying to meditate through it out of loyalty to T'Pel. T'Pel would also have just given Tuvok up for dead instead of waiting and his children wouldn't have traveled all the way to the most holy temple on the planet to say prayers for his safe return. I think these things are interesting and I wish they'd been explored more. The fact that caring about your family, caring about your friends, is not Un-Vulcan. The fact that Tuvok at no point longs for Humanity, sees nothing better or of interest to him in it. (Even in his teenage rebellion he only says he's sorry he was born Vulcan which reads less as Vulcan v Human and more like 'I hate this goddamn family' ykwim?). I want to know more about how Vulcans interact with each other, how they care for one another, what it means and what it's like to be Vulcan in more of an everyday way rather than what it means to be Vulcan vs Human.
#Vulcan emotional control WOULD be bad for Humans. But they're aliens. So.#I wrote this off the cuff v_v sorry if it just rambles in circles#I just don't like when Vulcans are written to be 'like us but missing out on something beautiful'#I think of people who don't live anything close to my life's experience. Are they lacking in something? Are they not living a 'full' life?#I'm not neurotypical - am I missing something essential to living a 'real' life because of that?#some people don't experience empathy - are they lesser because of it? No#I love my fellow man I guess. I think maybe in the far far future I'd hope that being just like me [human = neurotypical white american]#isn't a prerequisite for friendship and love and maybe we can just have harmless and beautiful differences#I wonder what's so good - INHERENTLY good about having emotion. What does it mean to be good? What does it mean to live 'fully'? As a Human#As an Alien? What does it means to have a life? Be alive? What's love and why is it important? What do these concepts mean to an Alien?#In Star Trek Voyager Ayala's son and Tuvok's son both pray for their father to come back home - is the Vulcan prayer lesser?#All this to say that I /AM/ going to make my own no-emotions aliens to put in star filled oyster - you just know I'm going to do that#there was no other option for me it was written in stone from oyestar's conception and I hope you'll all read the story#I eventually write with them even though you'll no doubt raise your brow and look me in the eye and go 'oh big surprise the Vulcan guy wrot#this. Oh hey look everyone the autistic Vulcan guy is musing about emotions what a surprise' and I'll be tugging at my shirt collar#like a cartoon character and gulping comedically and sweating bullets#Literally as I wrote that last sentence I realized I'm dissociating I'm going to go eat ice
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sneak peak of another ref sheet i'm working on - RICKY. werewolf-vampire cow and bounty hunter extraordinaire. i don't think i've ever posted ricky to any of my art blogs officially - i could never get her to look how i wanted her to, took a long time to find a way to stylise her as i wanted. and i was always agonising over if i wanted her to be more humanoid or anthro in proportions. but it's her time now, baby.....perhaps. i loooove her so much
#my art#wip#i realllly need to fix her coat lapels but it'll probably cause a domino effect of stuff i need to fix which will be ANNOYING#i also really need to use this blog as intended and talk about my ocs more but i get shyy and i can never think what to share#ricky and els are heavily on the backburner in terms of story development but they're always in my heart#i have too many projects and the fact that ricky/els story is ALL humans except ricky herself and the occasional werewolf appearance#makes it hard for me to draw it. cause humans do be a major roadblock to me#i'd like to make a comic for them one day though.....(says this about every character)
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persuasion, jane austen / simone de beauvoir / dirge without music, edna st. vincent millay .
#yes jack & bobby were great but without these women? they wouldnât have gone very far and i mean that#they have been stereotyped and stashed away in the background but they were so vital to the success & longevity of the kennedy family/legac#not saying they were perfect#by any means#. however the dull lazy and misogynistic lens theyâve always been placed under is annoying#and none of the kennedyâs were perfect anyway so#still fuck joe senior though!#and i do feel like their stories do deserve to be recontextualized#men wrote about these women first and weâve stuck with their preconceived notions ever since.#despite being made to believe that they were accessories to the men -> so much of their hard work service and efforts have had#so much impact and the ripple effects are felt to this day#kennedy web weaving#kennedy women#jackie kennedy#rose kennedy#eunice kennedy shriver#jean kennedy#ethel kennedy#pat kennedy#joan kennedy#women#web weaving#womanhood#jane austen#simone de beauvoir#kennedy family#jfk#rfk
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byler fandom annoying as hell bc i do not understand how this doesnât absolve absolutely every single person of byler doubt 100%. mike literally glances down to his right nervously.

bro just look at this one more time. there is nothing else for mike to look at besides willâs wrist touching his, willâs arm is literally blocking the whole right side of the painting!!!!!!! like thatâs crazy are you kidding me it still throws me for a loop
this should honestly be the most undeniable proof imho like. it literally cannot be and isnât anything else but mike feeling weird about will just brushing against him. girl. like itâs in the bag yall pmo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#byler#they literally just give it to you. just watch the show more iâm begging you#and ik the majority of bylers know about this so its likeâŚâŚ why do u still have doubt#âoh i donât trust the duffers thoughâ literally wtf are you talking about. what#yea i donât trust them with like. visual aspects of the show or even the dialogue sometimes after s4 but what about the actual story and-#characters makes you doubt them? the meaning of the show hasnât ever changed like genuinely what are u saying#also it's not just them writing it like are u crazy#sry it's just one of those nights bc i accidently started scrolling on sttwt
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of âLan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxianâ posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)
#fantastic podium!! maybe my favorite of this season?????#sebmarkson podiums are my fav ever nothing can top them#and both mark and jense were being so cute with seb this race aaaahhhhhhh <333333#theres something about seb that makes older men want to cuddle him and pick him up and pour champagne on him#haha thank you to dru for showing me seb getting drenched on this podium a few weeks and making me hype for this race!!#this race was very very good as well. like the last laps battle btwn mark and jense was insane#its very good when i already know the results of a race but the racing still makes me sit on the edge of my seat and scream a bit#i mentioned this before but i love how this race felt like an epilogue and it was nice to see everyone having fun and enjoying themseles#thank you everybody for joining me on another season journey!!! it been so much fun. ive really really enjoyed 2009#brawn is just soooooo cool to me. their story is insane!! im glad ive gotten to watch thru this season before the docu abt them comes out#but also very fun to see the beginning of rbr getting to the top of the field. every good result just felt so rewarding and worth it#anyways dont wanna do too much commentary abt it since ive discussed it a lot. onto 2010 next!!!! i shall miss you 2009#though i will say. it was rly interesting in this race to hear their team predictions for next season bcs a lot of it doesnt pan out#mark webber#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sebson#martian#sebmark#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 abu dhabi gp#season: 2009
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Honestly despite my feelings about how the last arc of MHA went down I really love Deku and his story.
I just feel like a lot of the time we get these protagonists whose whole philosophy is it doesnât matter what you were born as everyone can achieve greatness. But then the series goes on and it turns out that actually it DOES matter because the protagonist has this really great lineage and these really great powers you can only have through birth they were actually born born, predestined if you will, to do this.
But MHA actually sticks to its guns. Midoriya wasnât revealed to have some great connection to all might that the universe had put in place. He wasnât defended from some great lineage that makes him uniquely suited to this. Hell All for one didnât even turn out to be his father, there was no hidden powerful quirk he was always meant to have. He was just Midoriya Izuku a boy who was in the right place at the right time and simply decided to act while the world did nothing. And thatâs what really made him a hero.
I donât know, maybe itâs just me, but I believe him a bit more when he goes anybody can be a hero if you just decide to act
#also never stop crying baby I love taht about you#like I do understand that being given one for all an extremely powerful quirk is kind of a cop out#but still the quirk was passed down to him because of his own merits not becayse it was pre destined or because he was born to weird it#and honestly thatâs more than weâve got in a long time.#yes this is a little bit of a naruto call out cause I will never get over that complete 180 đ#and it does randomly drop that little tidbit of how it was good luck Midoriya was quirkless or the quirk would have killed him young#but honestly I donât even know what to make of that besidesâŚâŚyay?#also yeah thatâs pretty realistic sometimes disabilities make your more suited for somethings so yeah#this isnât me implying that other protagonists didnât work hard by the way I know they did two things can be true at once#bakugo proves that. like he is was born with an extremely powerful quirk but nobody can say he doesnât work hard#itâs just a little tiring to see this underdog character suddenly get a backstory thatâs like sike you actually needed to be born to do thi#one piece does this a little bit to be fair to them the story doesnât really emphasize anyone can do it that way it has different themes#about what family means and itâs all about inherited will so I can give it a pass#but yeah I really appreciate mha for sticking to that gun even though it dropped the ball on a lot of things#like never fully addressing the quirkless people can be heroes too thing but thatâs a topic for next time#throwing thoughts to the void#deku#mha#my hero academia#mha meta#mha analysis#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#one for all#mha deku#bhna#boku no hero acedamia
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I love your take on Crowley!
I know that the early, non-Diasomnia stories aren't really your thing, but are you reading the novels at all?
I have been following some of the fan translations and the second book seems intense! Would love to hear what you think about them.
thank you! đđđ I'm not really sure why you think I don't like the earlier arcs though, I love pretty much all the characters and their storis! (I think 5 and 1 are my favorite of the past episodes, though 6 infected me with the Shroud brainrot something fierce.) I just...ESPECIALLY love diasomnia. :') but there is room in my heart for all of these dweebs! like, who among us is not just as ride-or-die for Adeuce as they are for us.
that said, I don't really follow the other adaptations like the manga (aside from a dip-in just to see the new Yuus) or the novels, though I keep meaning to check them out! I do like seeing the differences between the different forms of media, and how certain things get adapted one way or another! but alas, time/a lack of accessibility stands in our way more often than not. :( someday...someday I will have time to consume all of the media...
#art#twisted wonderland#i have been playing this game since the day it came out#and believe me i could not have stuck with it for the past three and a half years if i was not deep into all of these idiots#not to harp on it but i do think it's funny because i actually. really did not like the diasomnias at first.#it was like a month before their cards/personal stories were added and so we knew almost NOTHING about them#the website descriptions basically make everyone sound awful#so i thought they were kind of mean/boring compared to everyone else!#(except maybe lilia but i was mad at him for the two seconds of 'girl? đ' hope i had when they were revealed)#but once their cards came out i fell just as hard for them as i did the rest of this silly game#well. sebek took a little longer. but his ketchup incident converted me.#anyway i have so much sentimentality for episode 1 especially#the prologue was like 'oh this is actually a very silly game! oh there is a plot!'#episode 1 was like 'oh i LIKE these characters and what they're doing with them'#(i think ace punching riddle was the moment i decided i REALLY liked this game) (sorry riddle) (you were being a huge dick though)#also...ink drips. ink drips everywhere.#look when i say this game is laser-focused at me and my tastes specifically i am not kidding
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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thought about this thing for a while
it was extremely interesting to just analyze myself and get like a tier list in my head
#draw a character you like#fanart#my art#sketch#shadow milk cookie#luocha#lapis lazuli#shigaraki tomura#nagito komaeda#flowey#first one is simple - see other characters and the silly room comics and it'll explain itself also I'm embarassed to admit it a bit#like people would prooobably expect isat related stuff but isat is basically already gone from my brain in that sense#I do like drawing characters and the style is still extremely easy for me to work with#but like.... I'm not feeling like this is more than this??#like Loop is still in the silly room but only for so long before I get them out or just make them like a cat of the room#to be fair they're allll cats there in a way#Luocha was my to-go character ever since getting him after exams in 2023 and I can't find a character that better worked in that#Lapis is specifically pre-crystal gem one as I kind of dislike her new design but *shruggs* it's still nice#just not the one that left impression on me that's all#Tomura and Flowey are like The Characters of this blog AND of my drawing journey I love them a bit too much#still not the insane fan but my friends know just HOW MUCH I talked about them and both were in my life for years#I'd say Bill Cipher fits there too as a trio but sadly I was out of places and he's not a guilty fave he's the OG fave#the fave to rule them all and one of the two I still have good time returning to as well - other one is Twilight Sparkle#she didn't fit here too again too many in all-time faves sadly#Nagito is here bc I didn't know what even counted as a âguilty faveâ in my list#so I chose him as a character for the list bc Kokichi is too... nothing in my head like he has more stories#but I don't even care about his trial and I played through Nagito's one and actually did a lot to get his Island ending too#I love how you can see - all of them have a pattern like being blue or yellow and then there's Nagito#Tomura counts as blue even though he's more purple and wears black and red in the finale in my read he's in MVA outfit still and will be#tenko shimura
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WARDI TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
emense [ÉmÉnse] (eh-mehn-say)
Has meaning close to 'beloved' or 'darling'. "Ya emense" (meaning 'my beloved'/'my darling') is often contracted "y'mense".
bubuch [bubuk] (boo-bookh)
Somewhat of a nonsense word, basically âbig-bigâ. Tends to either be used for small children or flirtatiously between adults (kind in between 'baby' and 'big boy' in functionality, though without gendered implications of the latter). Sometimes instead used as a form of intense condescension.
ya mache mes [ja mÉke mes] (yah mah-kay mace)
Functionally means "my other face", using the figurative word for face describing a concept of fundamental nature rather than anatomy. Very intense term of endearment, expresses the recipient as a core part of one's identity. Kind of equivalent to 'my other half' but not exclusively romantic.
ya tsitsima [ja ÍĄtsiÍĄtsimÉ] (yah tsee-tsee-muh)
Means "my blood". This term is used more broadly to denote familial relations, and is more of a term of endearment when used outside of actual biological relationship (calling your sister 'my blood' is just an intense way of saying 'my [relative]', calling a non-relative 'my blood' is VERY pointedly affectionate).
ya ungande [ja ungÉnde] (yah oon-gahn-day)
Often contracted to y'ungande, dead literally means "my liver" as in the organ. Ungande alone is also used as a food-based term of endearment, similar to 'honey' except instead with delicious organ meat.
anuje [ÉnudĘe] (ah-noo-jay)
Food based term of endearment, referring to a tree sap that is the most commonly used form of sweetener. Functionally identical to 'honey' in usage.
anu tlansekoma [Énu tlÉnsekoĘmÉ] (ah-noo tlahn-say-koh-muh)
This one actually means 'honey' (dead literally 'bee sweet'). Less common than 'anuje' as a term of endearment due to general cultural preference for anuje as a sweetener and the relative rarity of beekeeping.
inyagit [injÉgit] (een-yah-geet)
Diminutive form of 'sun'. 'Ya inya' (my sun) occurs as well, but is less common.
y'mit agai [j'mit ÉgaÉŞ] (yuh-meet ah-gai)
Contraction of 'ya amit agai', 'my blue moon'. This specification is more common than a general 'my moon(s)' and is fairly loaded, given this particular moon is the site of the afterlife for the most honored dead. The phrase both suggests a sort of celestial beauty and a sense of being honored and finding rest in the recipient. This is a VERY intense and almost exclusively romantic term of endearment.
coutomara [koĘtoĘmÉrÉ] (koh-to-mahr-uh)
Means 'handsome' or 'beautiful', implies masculine attractiveness. (Dead literally closer to 'strong face'/'strong featured').
jaimara [dĘaÉŞmÉrÉ] (jaim-mahr-uh)
Means 'pretty' or 'beautiful', implies feminine attractiveness (dead literally close to 'beautiful face'/'beautifully featured').
katsuy [kÉtsui] [kaht-soo'ee]
Sexually charged description of physical attractiveness, basically calling someone 'sexy'.
ya katsuymen [ja kÉtsuimÉn] (yah koht-soo'ee-mehn)
Related and also sexually charged, close in meaning to 'my desire'.
at akmatse yachouy [Ét ÉkmÉtse jÉtĘÉÉŞ] (aht ahk-mat-say yah-choi )
Sexually explicit term of endearment. The dead literal translation is "one who makes me flower". The word "flower" here is not as euphemistic in context and is rather the nicest sounding possible way to say "makes me cum (HARD)". Not considered vulgar, rather cloyingly romantic if anything.
gan(ne) ama [gÉn(e) ÉmÉ] (gah(-nay) ahm-uh)
Means 'bull'. When used affectionately, implies masculine strength. Usually used in conjunction with an adjective (ie 'handsome bull') or more teasingly gannit ama (little/baby bull))
jaimeti [dĘaÉŞmÉti] (jai-meh-tee)
Means 'gazelle' (the name for the animal itself is close in meaning to 'beautiful horn'), heavily associated with grace and beauty. Also tends to be used with adjectives ('lovely gazelle' 'handsome gazelle' etc) or with a diminutive.
ansiba [ÉnsibÉ] (ahn-see-bah) or ansibit [Énsibit] (ahn-see-beet)
Means 'duck' and 'duckling' respectively, specifically refers to the animal and implies cuteness. Ansibit is a very common term of endearment for children.
"Wannaukoma such datse anmo" [wÉnaĘkoĘmÉ suk dÉtse ÉnmoĘ] (wahn-now-koh-muh sookh daht-say ahn-moh)
Means 'an ant could swallow you', implies cuteness (ie the recipient is so small and tiny an Ant could devour them whole). Usually used on children, occasionally used on adult women (in a way that feels intensely patronizing to many). 'Datse' (you) may be replaced by the recipients surname or honorific in the rare case that someone would dare calling someone this without being on first name basis with them.
wannaukomit [wÉnaĘkoĘmit] (wahn-now-koh-meet)
Means 'little ant', a term of endearment that borders on insulting even to babies.
OTHER:
-it [it] (eet)
This is a diminutive modifier, which can be added to a name or other word/term of endearment to denote affection (can also be condescending). It lacks internal meaning in everyday use and is closer to the English -y or -ie (billy johnny rosie susie puppy kitty ducky etc).
hippe [hipÉ] (heep-peh) (some dialects drop the h sound entirely)
Means 'small' or 'little', can be spoken with other words/names as an affectionate diminutive.
Other epithets-
Various epithets used in the language are not exclusively used as terms of endearment, but can be contextually. Most commonly, this will be the -machen epithet of the recipients zodiac birthsign (particularly those considered auspicious). Someone with the lion birthsign could be respectfully and/or affectionately called 'odomachen', or VERY affectionately called 'ya odo' ('my lion'). There's also a good variety of poetic epithets that have worked their way into common language as affectionate compliments/descriptors- ie ganatoche (dead literally 'cow-eye', more prettily 'ox-eyed') is a complimentary descriptor for brown eyes, anaemaitsa (dead literally 'river-haired', more prettily 'flowing-haired') compliments wavy hair.
Given name basis-
In Wardi culture, full names are spoken with the family name preceding the given name. When respectfully speaking to a stranger, peer, or authority figure, you refer to them by their family name, title, and/or an honorific. Being on an accepted given name basis with someone is generally indicative of closeness and affection.
datse [dÉtse] (dah-tsay)
This is the word for "you". Similarly to the use of a given name, actually referring to someone as 'you' (rather than a surname, title, or honorific in place of the pronoun) expresses familiarity and intimacy.
#FUCK I LEFT A HUGE ERROR IN THERE OVERNIGHT . Okay#Even longer Wardi insult/vulgarity post coming someday#I can't actually put a lot of the linguistic Nuance in the writing because it doesn't 'translate' well in english. Especially the avoidance#of 'you' pronouns between unfamiliar company. Translating it ranges from mildly clunky to borderline unreadable#(Ie if you're asking a stranger's name in Wardi you'd use an honorific that is roughly equivalent to sir/ma'am if you're being#deferential or 'mister/miss' if not. 'What is mister's name?' sounds weird as fuck in english)#I could just include the in-universe honorifics instead which would avoid that but I'm really trying to avoid loading the text with#constructed language where it's not really necessary. I mean I'm not writing this to be a mega-approachable mass appeal story but#having to memorize a bunch of constructed terms can be a pain in the ass as a reader#(like there's still a lot in there but it's mostly 'untranslatable' words or very specific concepts)#And ultimately just saying 'you' and dropping the nuance of how 'you' is insulting when not used in close company is more efficient#I do have the last name/first name basis distinction in there textually though. A lot of the characters refer to each other#exclusively by surname
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Tartarus is still a little broken and that's Fun !
#so far playing through all of this i have to say. the no level cap increase makes me feel cheated#with how much questing we're doing and all#iirc they said they wanted to take companion promos seriously but did this whole. Hawkules thing#where you have to get a drop and they eventually needed to increase its rate in this recent update#and if you wanted it without farming you have to pay 10 bucks worth of crowns for it now#you know! to promote a companion! but see you can just BUY a companion in the crownshop using that real money#if you cant tell ive not been a fan of this new promotion method and this is taking it 'seriously'?#granted ive just started tartarus so i kind of want to hold my tongue and see the rest for myself rn#so far these quests are Good and Bad. they definitely went in the right direction but. no level cap kind of hurts.#still feels like we're stuck in one place even though we're moving forward#there's a lot of great concepts and even better dialogue to even out the bad#but at what point do we feel it's worth doing all this effort for. a couple new mid comps and a chance at a main comp promo?#keep in mind all this posting is just my own opinion. i know there's ppl out there that either love or loathe these additions#and i find myself in the middle tbh#i find this story fine and good so far i guess but i don't know if i'm still going to feel this way by the end of it#and yes yes 'be grateful p101 even got updates' while wiz continues to get new worlds and level cap increases. wonderful to be where we are#rambling#vent
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting⢠her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer⢠despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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