#I have to remind myself of the same
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thebardisabird · 9 months ago
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Writing has been hard for me lately. A lot of things have happened in the past year for me that damaged my zest to write. But that passion doesn't ever truly die, I think, so I'm doing my best to pick myself and continue doing what I love. So here's my contribution to Karamatsu month. A very candid conversation and a gentle reminder.
When Karamatsu had asked you to take a walk with him, you initially had thought nothing of it. Often you two would walk Akatsuka Park together; you, because you enjoyed the benefit of being able to clear your mind with some fresh air, and he because it was how you two met, so it held a special place in the grand scheme of your friendship. 
“Ah, does the air not smell so wonderfully crisp?” Karamatsu inhales, stretching his arms out as his lungs take in the cool afternoon air. You get lost in your own breathing for a second, “Just the season for it too,” a small smile ghosts over your lips, “I love this time of year.” 
Karamatsu hums in agreement, arms crossing over his chest as he slides his eyes closed and walks with a purposeful blindness.
Your mind shifts to light conversation, “How was your week? Anything new with your brothers?”
His chuckle is airy as he peaks an eye open toward you, “Raucous as ever - but how could they not be? We share the same fire in our blood after all.” 
This made you laugh as you recalled that same exact “fiery blood” getting them in trouble with Chibita just the other night. Karamatsu hears your laughter and mirrors it, thinking of his brothers and their antics - antics he’s very much always a part of. He recollects the memories that have permanently altered his life; how he wouldn’t trade them for the world. Yet as you both walk, a chill runs through the leather of his jacket. The reality of his adulthood creeps up and reminds him that even this situation - spending every day of his adult life with his brothers, living without much to care about, or even the luxury of getting to have these walks with you whenever it pleases you both - may be temporary. But such is life, isn’t it? Shouldn’t a man his age strive for independence and distance so as to be free of burdening his family? Karamatsu tucks his hands into his armpits, a certain vulnerability striking him now. You feel the difference in his attitude almost instantly.
“Kara…you okay?” 
His answer doesn’t come right away, though he still walks with you without missing a step. His signature shades have slid down the bridge of his nose a tad, revealing the troubled look of his downcast eyes and knitted brows. In searching for a response he remains silent; though this renders to you as him not having heard you. “Karamatsu…?” you call out again, worry lacing in your utterance of his name. 
The wrinkles in his brows grow deeper, “Am I…a burden?” 
The timbre of his voice was far lighter than normal, hesitance coating his words in a way you weren’t expecting. You tilt your head with some confusion, not understanding his question as it’s phrased, “What do you mean?” 
The cedar hues of his eyes drift off to the side as though he meant to avoid your gently bewildered expression. 
“I just…I think of my brothers…I think of how we’re still living at home,” he chews his lip as he continues, “We’re adults…and yet we rely so heavily on our parents.” 
You nod as you take in his words, the idea of what he’s trying to ask beginning to formulate in your head. Karamatsu removes his hands, looking down at the guitar-worn digits, “I…” the sigh he lets out is palpable, “I feel like I have nothing to show for myself or my future. I need to know when I’ll be more than just…this.” 
Your heart sinks as you see the hurt show in full bloom on Karamatsu’s face. It’s a subject of conversation you often avoid with him, not out of dishonesty, but because you’ve seen what the call of independence has done to his family in the past. It’s a sore topic, you know this. Yet your hands find one of his own, enclosing the now tightly grasped fist and gently easing his fingers open to accept the warmth of your comforting ones. 
“Those are answers that take time…no one ever knows right away what their future holds.” 
Karamatsu looks on at the delicate hold you have on his hand before finally locking eyes with you. 
“Give yourself time and grace,” you say softly, “You’re exactly where you need to be…and the people who love you are happy to have the time with you that they do.” 
He swallows thickly at your words, there’s a kindness to them he feels he doesn’t deserve - but he absorbs each letter nonetheless. His free hand unfurls from its frustrated grasp, coming to blanket your reassuring touch with his own, thankful, one. He loses the ability to speak for just a moment, but he silently prays that the sincerity in his eyes reflects how grateful he is for you. You lend him a bright smile, tugging on the same you were still encasing, “Come, let’s finish our walk before it gets too cold.” 
The weight that on his shoulders shakes free of its hold as he’s yanked forward a hair. He stumbles before he remembers to walk accordingly, and he finds his steps feel lighter now. The pleased silence between you two doesn’t last long as he inhales once more, “Ah…”
Seeing him return to his usual self brings you joy, but that is quickly replaced with playful annoyance when he says, “I must be rubbing off on you, darling, with how poetic with your words you’re becoming,” the statement paired with the glint of his grin and his arms flared out in a dramatic display. You can’t stop your eyes from rolling though it’s easily accompanied by affectionate laughter, “If you say so, Karamatsu.”
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hinamie · 2 months ago
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10 years later
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sydneighsays · 4 months ago
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May have dipped my toes into the malevolent pool.
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My take on Arthur, I'm only on s3, don't crucify me if I'm wrong.
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shalom-iamcominghome · 4 months ago
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randomalistic · 1 month ago
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Cool awesome reminder that you don’t need amazing technical skill to be a good artist/storyteller
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makiswirl · 5 months ago
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
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like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months ago
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Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?
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florsial · 6 months ago
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Regulus cries more often than not. It's something he's picked up on during the war. When he felt like there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel, when he felt as if he couldn't differentiate between the nightmares to reality. He doesn't sleep because of it, he just spends his nights crying. Walburga told him he sounded like a wailing baby. She doesn't look at him.
But James notices he cries more after the cave. Mornings, afternoons, nights. He can hear it from his room. When he eats breakfast. When he slips under the blankets. During meetings. It rings in his ears. In Sirius' too, he can tell.
They don't do anything about it in the beginning. James didn't want to be overbearing, so he just let Regulus be, let him cry it all out. But it seemed as if there wasn't a bottom in the endless pit. Regulus just kept crying. Crying. And when he isn't, he just stares off. It isn't much better than the wailing.
One day, it gets too much. When he hears Regulus crying, he walks into the younger's room and starts to cry as well when he sees Regulus doing nothing but just sitting at the end of his bed. His face was in his hands and crying, wailing, again and again.
"I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry..." James says repeatedly. He doesn't know how, but he finds himself kneeling in front of Regulus, his face buried in the younger's knees. They are both crying. He's apologizing and Regulus is wailing without words.
It's almost comforting. The two of them acting like a complete mess together. Sobbing in each other presence. Holding onto each other for dear life because they don't know when it will slip from their grasp during the war. It's so comforting that James doesn't realize when they've stopped crying until his weak and broken repeating of, "I'm sorry" is finally stopped by Regulus carding his fingers into his curly and whispering, "I'm sorry too."
They both feel lighter after that.
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darlingod · 1 year ago
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It’s just… it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his “SO OBVIOUS” exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.
Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Like… Ur super mean and hot, I can’t blame her.) Anyway.. it’s SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.
Jude thought Cardan’s (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: “Im trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,” trick.
I’m fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.
#IM JUST NOW REALIZING I SPELT THEIR WRONG AND IM SO EMBARRASSED#at least it was the right their😭😭#THEYRE SO REAL LMFAOOOOOO#like they both were so hot ofc they constantly questioned the validity of each others feelings#if the last part didn’t make sense I’ll explain#she knew he had tricked her into exile and when Jude was like ‘can I pardon myself?’ she thought it was another trick to humiliate her#like girl it was to do THE OPPOSITE of humiliation#HE WAS SENDING YOU TO SAFETY UNTIL YOU COULD COME BACK AND FLAUNT UR NEW POSITION#but basically it revealed that he loved like Jude loves#that they have the same heart#(he’s not like the reg folk. he grew up around so many mortals as she did the folk)#but he’s a faerie so he doesn’t take caution to being unpredictable#Jude even knew: the folk could be humanlike but they (the folk) inevitably would do something to remind her that they STILL ARE folk#though she had too easily assumed that the folk acting like the folk meant betrayal#he thought the whole marriage thing had meant she fully trusted him#because he knew how hard it would be for her to give up her power over him#and he thought because that she had given up her ability to command him(comma) that she couldn’t doubt trusting him any longer#queen of nothing#the cruel prince#the wicked king#Jude Duarte#jurdan#cardan greenbriar#tfota#I’ve known them since I was 13 they’re much older in my stubborn pov#also me using the semi colon as if I’m sure that it’s proper grammar LMAOOOOO#confidence is key
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ohitslen · 1 year ago
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Guess who had a little too much fun with the pathetic reincarnation AU idea :))
To summarize! WW gets reincarnated in a very distant future where humanity is more settled down in the planet. He remembers everything and decides to keep living his life as normally as he is able to. That is until he meets his neighbor when he moved to a new apartment.
(More below the cut)⬇️
He was an absolute weirdo of a guy who looked just like Vash in so many ways yet was so different in many others at the same time.
He pretends that his system isn’t going haywire every time he is around the man, the one that resembles someone he cared for so deeply in a life that wasn’t his but remembers all too well. He decides to pretend he doesn’t know Vash because he really doesn’t, not this one at least.
Meanwhile, Vash is going through a very trippy existential crisis for seeing Wolfwood again after what felt like dozens of centuries. This could clearly not be him however because, well, he knows why. So he pretends not to know him because wouldn’t that be weird if he acted like he did?
They avoid each other like the plague, the beautiful and horrible emotions that swarmed on their insides too much to bear just by the presence of the other. They could slip at any moment so it was better to evade the neighbor.
The thing here is, that life has never gone how they want it since ever.
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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babytoothbrain · 4 months ago
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I am the Same Person I was in August
"Oom Sha La La", Haley Heynderickx//"All That Wanting, Right?", Devin Kelly// "Funeral" Phoebe Bridgers//"Extracting the Stone of Madness", Alejandra Pizarnik// "Little Beast", Richard Siken// all photos are mine! Photography on @el3ctraaa
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grimmweepers · 21 days ago
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˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ 𝓻𝔂𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶
there was an ache in my heart when i awoke in a strange, beautiful world that wasn’t my own. even as months turned to years, i still missed the familiar skies, the voice of loved ones and the home i had left behind. i wrote letters that went nowhere and whispered silent prayers that reached no one. it was like i was plucked from my own reality and placed in a world where i didn’t quite belong.
yet, as much as i longed for home, i was determined to learn in this new life. sumeru became my sanctuary and the akademiya, my solace. i learned their languages, customs, and secrets while sharing stories of the stars, landmarks, and beauty of my own world. the scholars listened, fascinated by the similarities and differences, but none more than al-haitham—a student assigned to guide me through this foreign land. he was a quiet presence. thoughtful and curious. he did not pity me.
and over time, he went from guide to peer to something more. over time, i wasn’t just seeking knowledge but also him. but what was the point? what was the point of falling for him if one day, i could just disappear—vanish back to my world, leaving him and teyvat behind? this could slip away at any moment. this might be as fleeting as a dream.
despite all reason, i still found myself loving him deeply. in a world that wasn’t my own, he had become my home.
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬: very slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers
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𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒: 22.10.22 | playlist | genshinverse ryu
𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐒: modern au | season of love
#is this an intro… or a drabble���#i got carried away#did i really just isekai myself into the genshinverse?#yes#don’t laugh at me please !!!!#be kind please !!!#i loved the academic rivals to lovers thing i had going on but that backstory belongs to my oc nahla (who i had for haitham before#i decided to self ship with him)#for my s/i i found myself daydreaming about this scenario and it’s probably a bit too ambitious for genshinverse but hey#the power of fiction lets me do whatever i want!#and our dynamics still stays the same ^^ i just changed my lore. i rlly tried to keep this intro as short as possible#but i think there is something so deeply romantic about falling for someone despite there being so many barriers and crossroads#if i wasnt clear enough we meet as students! i can picture him watching me curiously from behind his book when i first enrol at the akademi#he could be pragmatic at first but over time he brings me things that remind me of my home. perhaps books that could comfort me or#asking questions to allow me to talk about it#not knowing whether or not i'll suddenly go *blip* makes every moment so precious#nothing better than finding your beacon of light in an unfamiliar place#*he* fell first *i* fell harder me thinks#because i was never going to open myself to love but did it anyway#anyway who’s even reading this far i should have like a certain emoji for people to comment if they’ve reach this point#maybe 🌎#selfships#selfship moodboard#my selfships#genshin self insert#self insert
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shakingparadigm · 5 months ago
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It's a bit silly that found it unlikely for Luka and Till to be the final match back then. The more that I thought about it, the more it made sense. Sure, Luka and Ivan are incredibly similar in terms of personality and image, but in terms of circumstance Luka and Till are opposite sides of the same coin. I really couldn't envision a better matchup.
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crypt1dcorv1dae · 5 months ago
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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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