#I have separate posts for the other schools and I’ll post those later but here’s seisho for now

[duskstars]

seisho + text posts 1/???

[mauvecherie-writes]

the kaleidoscope theory: l.hamilton.

• pairing: lewis hamilton x black!oc kalani halloway

• chapter warnings: none

• w.c: 3.8K

• ru’s 💌: First thing first, I want to apologise for how long it took to post this. With school and placement taking up a lot of my time, amongst other distractions and my mental health just not being the best for a while, writing has not been my main priority, and I am trying to make up for that now. Updates will be slow, but they won’t be non-existent. Please don’t forget to like, comment and re-blog.

• tip: kofi | paypal

series masterlist

CHAPTER ONE

PRESENT DAY

“ARE you sure that you want to keep doing this with him Lani? Like I love you and I’ll always be in your corner, but I have to agree with your therapist here. What are you gaining from continuing to sleep with Malik?”

The bluntness of the question almost knocked the wind out of Kalani’s lungs. Over the decades of their friendship, she had come to know that Julian did not pull any punches when it came to honesty. It should not have shocked her that her best friend would react like this to the revelation of such news. Maybe it was the exasperation and disappointment that she picked up in his tone that made Kalani want to shrivel into herself from shame.

“Lani!” His voice boomed through the car speaker, breaking her train of thought. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.” She mumbled as her hands tightened around the stirring wheel.

“Well, are you going to answer my question or not?”

“It was a moment of weakness okay!” She exclaimed, finally admitting it to herself and to her best friend. “There was always an excuse to get me alone. To discuss the divorce or something about the kids. And he’d just … he would charm me, and I would be reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place then I’d give in.”

“Tuh.” Julian scoffed. “Talk of the divorce like he’s not trying to distract you from the fact that he has not signed those papers.” He added, the truth causing her shoulder to sag as she leaned back into her seat.

“I know.”

“Baby, I’m not trying to make you upset —.” He sighed, speaking in a much tender tone. But it was too late. The shame that had been brewing in her stomach for so long had bubbled back up her throat.

“I just need you to really think about this. It has been two years since you have asked for the divorce, Malik keeps stalling signing the papers, under the guise of trying to make it work. But we all know that he is still with that bitch. Like he can’t have his cake and eat it too. He doesn’t have any regard for who he’s hurting and that is you and the kids. I need you to be better than your weakness for him. It’s not fair.”

His words were hurtful to hear but Kalani could not argue against them because she knew that they were true. That is why she had decided to begin therapy. She had not slept with Malik in over six months since she had started her therapy session. This round, Kalani had finally shared the truth that she had on tinted with intimacy with her ex-husband despite the separation.

“I KNOW.” Kalani sniffed as her tears threatened to spill over. The tremble in her voice could not be hidden and Julian picked up on it.

“Lani, listen-.”

“Hey, so um — I gotta go. I need to pick up Princess from my aunt’s place.” Kalani quickly spoke out as she rounded the corner into a residential street. “Talk later.”

She did not wait for him to respond as she ended the phone call. Kalani took a deep breath as she put the car into an empty parking spot. She continued to sulk in her seat as the heaviness in her chest had returned. Everything that Julian had said to her were all things that she knew and had known from the first time, she had slept with him after they split.

Stuck in the moment, every time they had done the deed had felt good. In some way, it had felt like she had been reclaiming her power. It felt good to know that in some way, her ex still wanted her. In Kalani’s need to be desired by the man that she was married to for nearly twenty years, she had momentarily lost herself and had forgotten what was important.

The happiness of her children.

So Kalani took in a deep breath and exhaled, wiped away her tears and re-applied her lip gloss. She practised her smile in the rear-view mirror until she was satisfied with a more approachable facial expression. She got out of her car and fixed the legs of her pantsuit before she walked a short distance on the pathway and onto the property.

It did not take any time from her opening the small front gate for the front door to be opened.

“Mummy!” The excited shriek of her young daughter sounded through the air as her little feet carried her as fast as they could towards her. Kalani immediately dent down to her level and opened her arms, waiting for her daughter. She dived into her arms and Kalani could just feel all of that heaviness began to lift away from her heart. As her daughter squeezed her little around her neck, Kalani immediately felt better.

“Hi, my Princess!” She smiled at Tiara. Princess’s little giggles were what she got in response as she pulled back to look into her mother’s eyes.

“I missed you so much, Mummy.”

“I missed you too! Did you enjoy school and time with Auntie Angie?”

“Mhm!” Tiara nodded her head as she played with Kalani’s earrings. “Today, I learnt what a doing word is! And then Auntie Angie baked me a banana cake.”

“The cake is for all of you, not just you baby.” Aunt Angela spoke from behind Tiara which caused Kalani to chuckle as a frown appeared on her little girl’s face.

“Emi doesn’t like banana cake as much as I do!” Tiara exclaimed.

“I know baby. But can we at least save a piece for brother first?”

“Okay.” Her small voice of defeat made Kalani’s heart swoon. She cradled her daughter’s head to her chest as she walked towards the door where Angela had been standing with Tiara’s belongings and the wrapped up banana cake.

“Hi sweetie.” Angela had greeted her as she awkwardly hugged Kalani.

“Hi Auntie.” She replied. It was like she could feel the love outpouring from the embrace. And it took all of her strength to not break down then and there.

“You okay?” Angela asked her. Kalani softly nodded her head, not trusting her words in that moment. She took a deep breath before offering a smile of re-assurance.

“Just need my baby.” Kalani replied. “Thank you for looking after her today.”

“You never have to thank me for that. I love Princess and I love spending time with her.”

After a couple of more minutes of casual conversation, Kalani and Tiara said their goodbyes and then left her aunt’s home. On the journey to pick up Emil, she sang along to the current kid bops that Tiara was currently enjoying. Her daughter filled the car with chatter about what her day at school was and repeated stories of previous adventures. Kalani did not mind at all. Hearing her daughter talk was far more enjoyable than being left with the chaos that was her thoughts.

~

When they had arrived at the local sports and leisure centre, Kalani noticed that by the outdoor astroturf, there was a larger crowd than there should be for a practice on an early Wednesday evening . She walked hand in hand with Tiara towards the grounds and smiled when she noticed the crowds full of young and old cheering on.

No matter how much Emil had tried to teach her, there were still aspects of the game of football that she would never understand. However, that never changed how much Kalani cheered on Emil and supported him. She knew that he had fallen in love with football due to Malik’s love for the sport, his passion came from within, and Emil had the talent to match. If Emil was willing to play, then Kalani was going to do everything that she could to make sure that he continued to play to his greatest heights.

From where Kalani stood, she could tell that it was an intense game for a practise but neither the Red nor Green sides seemed to care. When Emil touched the ball, he sprinted across the field with incredible of the ball and passing by the red players who were trying to defend. Emil then passed the ball to another green player who was open. This player then quickly shot the ball into the net, scoring the winning goal.

The crowd, including Kalani and Tiara cheered for the green shirts.

The game came to an end and with the crowds beginning to disperse, Tiara shot away from Kalani’s side and ran towards his older brother as she screamed his name. She smiled as she watched Emil pick up his little sister and throw her into the air, catch her and then spin her around.

As she proudly watched the moment, she caught a growing crowd from the corner of her eye. She noticed a man standing in the middle with the biggest smile on his face as he tried to greet every one that was surrounding him. That bright smile with the small tooth gap was the first thing that caught her attention. His twisted strands were in a ponytail, but his sides and beard were nicely trimmed in a way that brought attention to his chiselled facial features. Kalani’s eyes travelled to his large and muscular tatted arms that even with his bronzed, umber complexion, the design of the tattooed sleeves stood out. He was dressed simply, in a black, sleeveless knitted vest and what looked like black trousers. Kalani had spent too much time staring at him for her to notice that his jewellery was expensive and some of it was probably custom made.

As if picking up on her inquisitive eyes, the man looked up and stared right at her. She had never seen such an intense yet sincere pair of eyes that were the smoothest of chocolate brown. Kalani bit her lip in embarrassment at being caught looking when he smiled at her. She quickly averted her gaze to her children, who were walking towards her and tried not to think about why the stranger felt vaguely familiar.

“Hi Mum.” Emil greeted her as he placed Tiara down on her feet before reaching towards her and giving her a sideways hug. Kalani reciprocated the hg and patted his sweat drenched curls.

“Hi baby, you were great out there.” She complimented him which caused him to grin.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her.

“Any particular reason why you guys were playing like it was the finals of the Premier League?”

“Oh! The owner of the centre is here, and we just wanted to impress him I guess.”

“You were out there acting like he’s like a talent scout.” Kalani chuckled.

“He might as well be. He used to be a sportsperson, so he knows a lot of people.”

“Like Mbappa right?”

“Mbappé, Mum. Mbappé.” Emil corrected her with a roll to his eyes.

“Well, whatever his name is.” Kalani shrugged her shoulders and then picked Tiara into her arms. “Anyway, go get your stuff. We need to be home before 8:30.”

For a fraction of a moment, she saw her son’s gleeful demeanour slip. He nodded his head and then jogged away. Kalani watched as he stopped and talked to the same man that she had made eye contact with. The joy in his face was back once more and it eased the tension within her. She was sending them to their fathers’ for the weekend as she needed some time to herself to re-charge before she embarked on a large project at work.

However, Emil had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the man that he had once idolised. Emil confessed to enduring the visit for the sake of Tiara, who was still trying to adjust to the separation.

When he came back, they all hurdled into the car and they drove back home, not before stopping for a takeaway pizza collection.

After they had arrived back at their home, Kalani rushed her children to take their evening showers before preparing their bags.

Kalani stayed downstairs as she prepared their dinner. Alongside the pizza, she made a simple arugula salad with cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and a balsamic dressing. Once she had set the table and could finally take a sip of her white wine.

She dreaded the weekends when her children were away. Because it forced her to think. It forced her evaluate every single decision that led to this very moment that she was currently residing in.

Her hatred for Malik increased.

Memories of their past floated in front of her. Her and Malik dancing around the kitchen as they cooked whilst Emil set the kitchen table and Tiara narrating stories from her vivid imagination.

They were so happy.

They were so in love.

Where in the fuck did he ever find the time to cheat on her? She wondered.

That was a question that she never got an answer to. And it was a question, she was afraid of what the answer may be. It just was not something that she was ready to confront. Kalani was left to deal with all of that harbouring anger all alone.

“Mummy look! Me and Emi are matching!” Tiara rushed rushed down the stairs with Emil in tow. When Kalani turned her head towards their direction, a laughter full of elation burst from her when she noted that the duo were indeed matching. Tiara was dressed in a hot pink Nike tracksuit that was a contrast to Emil’s grey one.

“She wasn’t going to wear anything else.” Emil commented as they entered the large kitchen area, approaching the sink to wash their hands.

“That’s okay. Princess just wants to be like her big brother huh.” Kalani smiled as she smoothed her daughter’s hair.

“Yep!” Tiara gave them her dazzling smile. “Except, I don’t like football, and he doesn’t like banana cake!” The little girl stated before her focus shifted to the slices of banana cake on the table. “Ooouuu caaaakkee.”

“Not so fast, young lady!” Kalani spoke up which stopped Tiara in her tracks. “Can you eat some pizza first before the cake?”

“Okay, Mummy.” She pouted as she moved to sit down in her chair by the table. Emil shook his his head as he plated a slice of pizza for himself before sitting down.

They sat in silence as they ate their food, but Kalani could tell from her son’s solemn expression that something was bothering him.

“You okay baby?” She asked him as a worried expression marked her face.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He offered her a smile that she didn’t believe.

“You sure? You know that you can always talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just -.” Emil stopped talking before he let out a sigh. He then turned his attention to Tiara who was focused on trying to do a cheese pull. “I’m not ready to talk about it.” He concluded.

Kalani swallowed as she tried to not be disappointed with his response. Outside of the pure anger that was palpable whenever his father was mentioned, Emil had concealed his emotions about the divorce from her, always giving her that same answer of not being ready to talk. She had offered for him to go to therapy but he refused, saying that he did not need it.

“I caught him cheating Mum, not killing somebody.” He had said to her after the therapy suggestion. She dropped it then, however as her sessions continued, the more she wanted to push for Emil to go. But she was not going to force his hand. He’d go when he was ready.

“How’s this? When you come back, I’ll take the day off work and break you out of school and we do whatever you want. Just the two of us.”

“I’d like that.” Emil replied as a small smile returned to his face. Kalani reached over and softly pinched his cheek.

“That’s my boy.” She wicked at him.

They finished dinner in a much better mood with Emil updating her on his coming football schedule so that she could make time for it in her diary. And it wasn’t long after they had cleared the table did the doorbell ring.

Kalani glanced over to the clock on the wall. It was 8:40pm.

A cloud of tension suddenly covered the serenity of their home as she realised who was at the front door. Kalani looked at her son, who was already moving to collect Tiara from her position in her play area by the living room.

“Give me five minutes, I need to talk to your father about something.” She said to him. Emil nodded his head.

“Princess come on, gotta make sure that you have all of your toys ready.” He said before picking her up and giving her a piggy-back ride up the stairs which caused her to squeal with each step.

Kalani mentally prepared herself as she dried her hands with a hand towel before she headed to the door.

With one more pep talk, she swung the door open and met her ex-husband with a close-lipped smile with her body blocking the entrance.

Standing shy of 6 foot 2 inches with a rich, tawny complexion, a shaved head and trimmed goatee – Malik was a physically handsome man. At forty-three, he kept himself fit, had an impeccable wardrobe (that she introduced him to) and a gorgeous smile that her daughter inherited. Full lips with slick words that could charm the pants off a recluse. She would know, they’d been working on her for close to two decades.

“Hi Lani.” He smiled down at her.

“Hi Malik.” Her tone was curt, which caused his cheeky expression to slip by minor fraction, but she caught it.

“How are you?” He asked. “You look beautiful as ever.” He complimented her, trying to work his charm as he had done so many times before.

It wasn’t going to work this time.

“Thanks.” She narrowed her eyes before she moved to step outside. She drew the door close and left it slightly agar.

“I need to talk to talk to you about something.”

“Are the kids okay?” He worried.

“They’re as fine as they can be. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

“Then what?”

“When are you going to sign the papers, Malik? You’ve been putting them off for far too long now.”

“What do you mean sign?” He frowned in confusion. “I thought that we were taking this time to figure things out.”

“What things?!” Kalani sternly exclaimed in a hushed voice. “You refused couple’s counselling. Emil doesn’t want therapy and wont talk to me about it. Tiara thinks you’re working on a big project at work because she doesn’t understand that we’re separated.” As the words spat out of her mouth, the angrier she became. “Let’s not fucking forget, that little girlfriend of yours is still around and you thought that I didn’t know about it.”

“She’s not Kalani!” Malik quickly tried to shut down her accusation.

“Oh please!” She scoffed as she looked at him up and down in disgust. “Her perfume is lingering on you right now. I should know, I was washing it off for years!” She hissed.

Kalani watched as Malik tried to sniff his clothes and that disgusted her even more as she could see the gears in his mind churning up an excuse.

“Listen, it’s not like that.” He began to say.

“I don’t give a shit what it’s like. I want those divorce paper signed and delivered to my office by Monday. If not then no more nice Kalani, I’ve put up with your shit for too long.”

Without giving Malik a chance to reply, she opened the door just as she picked up on the patter of feet rushing down the stairs. Tiara zoomed past her and dove into her father’s legs, hugging them.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” She chanted, bouncing with excitement. Malik picked her up into his arms and gave him one of his practised smiles as he peppered her face with kisses.

“My gorgeous girl! You’re getting so big!” He said which caused Tiara to grin.

“Look! My tooth fell out and the tooth fairy gave me one pound and Mummy told me to add it to my piggy bank!”

“Oh, that’s so awesome Princess!”

“When all my teeth fall out, I’m gonna be rich!”

“Oh, I bet!” Malik tickled her sides which caused another high-pitched squeal to leave Tiara. In all of her rage, it was the joy of her daughter that mattered to her. Emil trotted to her side, holding their weekend bags.

“You got everything baby?” She asked him. He nodded his head.

She hated having to send him with his father, but she did not trust Malik to care for Tiara without Emil’s assistance. She brought in her son for a tight hug and kissed the side of his head. “It’s just two days and you’ll be back.”

Emil sighed at those words before nodding his head. “Bye Mum.” He mumbled before he kissed her cheek and walked past Malik without acknowledging him. She could see that Malik was trying to not let that get to him but kept a brave face for Tiara. It may be horrible to admit but it felt nice to know that there was one more person who hated his guts the way she did.

‘Right, Princess, you’re going to be on our best behaviour for your father, okay?” Kalani said to Tiara.

“Mhm.” Tiara nodded her head before Kalani placed a kiss on her forehead.

“We’ll talk about what we talked about later.” Malik glared at her.

“Unless it’s about that signature, then we have nothing to talk about.” She glared back.

Kalani waved goodbye to her children as Malik drove away. Once she shut her front door, she let out the biggest sigh of relief as her body relaxed. She had not realised just how tense she had been in the minutes Malik was here.

It had felt like hours.

With her body on autopilot, Kalani finished cleaning up the kitchen and packing away Tiara’s toys before she grabbed her bottles of wine, forgoing the glass and dragged her body up the stairs to her bedroom. As she prepared for her evening bath, she put her favourite playlist on and danced to the music as she stripped down to her bathing suit.

Once her tub was full of hot water and bubbles, she sank down, laying down her head on the towel. She took a large gulp of her wine and get the bottle down.

With only the sultry voice of Sadé as solace, Kalani let her walls down and cried to her hearts content.

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @saturnville @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @chaneajoyyy @emjayewrites @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @laneywrld @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew @henneseyhoe @perfecttrashface @alianovnaromanovanatalia @leilaxaliel @hotfudgeslug @iamryanl @pickingupmymercedes @eleetalks @ambs-06 @annisassintchaska @boujiestpoet @nayaesworld @nat-lh-44

[theoceanswaves0]

Time to be abnormal about Jewel Joker, thoughts below, spoilers for chapters 1 and 2

—> I can’t believe we’re back in the year of our Lord 2024 with a sequel, I never would have imagined

—> Like in my opinion, Encore wrapped up enough conclusively that I wasn’t really sure what they could do for a sequel. It’s the same reason I wasn’t sold on them doing a movie back in the day (and thankfully we didn’t get one)

—> But I’m actually pretty interested in the premise and the characters they’ve introduced so far. Erito is a nice evolution of the mean girl adversary Amu has faced in both Utau and Rima - both of them were pretty upfront about not liking Amu at first, which is honestly pretty indicative of the elementary school experience. But middle school? Totally different ball game. People laughing at you behind your back, spreading rumors, pretending to be nice while secretly hating you… oh how I don’t miss those days.

—> And the best part is that AMU KNOWS! I like that she isn’t oblivious here! Like they could have so easily written her not picking up on it and they didn’t! That’s going to make this conflict and dynamic much more interesting!

—> Something I don’t like though is Amy’s fan girly behavior around Tadase. I was pretty sure she was past this later in the OG manga? I don’t mind her getting flustered every now and then and I know it’s been almost a decade and a half since we left off, but I was hoping this part of her characterization would be more consistent (especially compared to the anime)

—> Also did I just not pick up on how sus Tsukasa was before, or is he just worse here? Like he sends these 2 to Arcana DAYS before they’re supposed to start middle school, and doesn’t say that they’ll be boarding there? He must have rolled a nat 20 for charisma with Amu’s parents bc IDK how her father would have okayed that (since he’s Tadase’s uncle, I don’t think his parents would have many objections). But then later after getting there, they find out THEY CAN’T KEEP THEIR PHONES?? THEY CAN MAKE 1 OFF-CAMPUS CALL ON SUNDAYS FOR 10 MINUTES?? I know this is functionally to force Amu and Tadase to get to know the other students, and possibly for Rima to try and make friends on her own (which would nicely parallel Amu attempting to befriend Rima in the Día arc) but like??? Did Tsukasa know this??? If he did, why didn’t he warn them???

—> The Arcana uniforms are DOPE. I love how, unaltered, they kind of look like detectives. Kind of fits the mission they’re here for!

—> And of course, the style game is still on point! I was enjoying the fashion and styling montage with Amu and Niya, since I always headcannoned Amu becoming a fashion designer in the future (her mad style game, and it easily blending elements from each of her charas).

—> I say enjoyed because then Niya got a little too forward with asking Amu out… only for her to firmly turn him down and set boundaries! I know the “cool and spicy” persona has been limiting to her at times (mostly people not being able to see past it to see the entirety of who she is), but I think it’s completely warranted here and not inauthentic. I def remember boys being pushy in middle school, and Amu already has enough on her plate.

—> The tech gap doesn’t bother as much as it could have. My understanding was that the OG story started in 2006 (when the first chapter was published), and it ended in 2008 (I have a theory to explain this but I’ll share in a separate post). So even if I continue to believe that Jewel Joker is still set in 2008, I can still buy it a little (since smart phones were around, even if they weren’t commonplace, though streaming is stretching it a bit). Compare this to the whiplash of Cardcaptor Sakura, which would have been set in the 90s, and seeing smartphones in Clear Card…

—> Now I know logically, they’re keeping the story contemporary with modern tech and fashion, but I refuse to believe that Shugo Chara isn’t still set in 2008. I’m particular about time being consistent, so I realize it’s a me issue.

—> We’re left on a cliffhanger regarding the Arcana games. My guess is that chapter 3 will explain the rules and set up, and possibly tease any rivalries that’ll crop up as a result.

—> In the scenario that they decide to make more anime, I hope they’ll decide to start off by doing a more faithful adaptation of the manga and then cover Jewel Joker. (mostly so they avoid having to pad out the seasons like they did in the OG days). Since we never got the ending of the manga or Encore adapted, this gives them the perfect chance to do that.

—> Which leads me to ask the following question…

[taterswithranch]

Havoc and Homework Official Masterpost

Wooo I didn’t expect this universe to get popular at all hdhdhsk

This will be where all of the students and staff will be recorded! It will be edited as time goes on and the universe expands!

———

!!DO NOTE!! This universe is separate from the “Taters Canon” universe. This one is collaborative with my moots and friends. While some of the lore will be different, most will still be relevant to both universes :>

———

SOME RULES:

1. Please be respectful of everyone in this au! If I see any unruly behavior, you’ll be blocked and kicked out of the au. No exceptions.

2. If you want a place in the au, send an ask through me first! I’ll respond privately, then you can create the post for your character! Make sure to tag me if you want me to reblog it here :)

3. Do not harass others for a specific role! There are some roles that are only available for a limited number of people (which will be specified later on). Do not try to force others out of a role just so you can have it. You will be blocked.

4. On that note, you’re not obligated to stay. If you want out of the au, that’s perfectly fine! Just let me know and I can take you off the list. You can still keep your character. They just won’t be associated with the au anymore.

5. Collaboration is highly recommended! If you want to build lore with other creators’ ocs, ask! This au is meant to be fun!

———

IMPORTANT POSTS/UPDATES (FAQ too ig lol)

Character Limit

Character Lore and Building

Character Submissions

Dress Code

Official H+H Blog

———

Please also tag any relevant posts with “#havoc and homework”! It’ll make it easier for me and others to find!

Alrighty, now for the roster! It’ll be updated as people enter and exit the au! If you have any roles you’d like to suggest, send in an ask or respond to this post! If you want to make an assistant/student mentor/etc. for any role, limited or not, ask the creator first!

Roster under the cut :)

Concerning the headmaster/principal/vice principal and anything of the sort, those roles will remain vacant and vague. Do not ask for them, they are not available.

———

IF I MISSED ANYONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW

———

LIMITED ROLES

Art: Stitchy ( @gothicwitcholive )

Choir: Wilbur T. Hunter ( @flurriethefox )

Culinary Arts: Angelica (me)

Librarian: Eli ( @joyarting )

Nurse: Natalie “Heather” Scarborough ( @hello-universe-lovers )

Orchestra: Cresc (me), Anne - orchestra assistant (me)

Robotics: Serverus ( @gothicwitcholive )

School DJ: Zapper ( @piperthewolf125 )

Theatre: Faraday Heath ( @alex-dontknow )

Therapist: Hyper ( @piperthewolf125 )

———

MULTIPLE ROLES

Biology: Evika ( @joyarting ), Ezra Welton ( @biscuitmcflakes )

Chemistry: Mary Kate ( @averydoesfnfstuff )

Computer: Atari ( @undrsk0re ), Adrien Ethen Scarborough ( @ianosaur03 )

English: Maylin Micho ( @itas-art-life ), Majorie ( @hoodiehydra ), Melissa Ebony ( @shippin-my-sanses )

History: Frenzi Kitts ( @k1rameki )

Languages: Gem Bevientos ( @jinxic )

Math: Ivy Icharix ( @itas-art-life )

Media: Enyo ( @sunnytheclodsdire )

Physics: Monody Fairren ( @lightgriffinsect )

School Maintenance: Zhar Welton ( @biscuitmcflakes )

———

STUDENTS

Cerulean ( @anonymous-red-shades )

Jackelina ( @gothicwitcholive )

Phoenix Anderson ( @flurriethefox )

Violette Skye ( @angelsartdump )

Viviolina ( @gothicwitcholive )

[existentialsophism]

Ok so I’m gonna post this here bc my mom is giving me the silent treatment and it might hit (maybe idk it’s very long)

Neurodivergent Ramblings

I had so much shit as a kid like being told I was off topic and absent minded and wandering around the classroom and yet somehow nobody had me evaluated for anything???? You have a master’s in child development and you never saw this coming??? You fucking moron!!! I lost friends and my grades failed because of that. I had to figure out why I was so weird on my own while I was being constantly bullied and manipulated for being different. I learned to hate myself before I even learned how to socialize. I wasn’t physically abused but the mental strain of masking and trying to pay attention in classes was so draining I almost killed myself several times once I got to college. It’s made me wonder if life is even worth living. And now I find something that works and I’m not even guaranteed that I’ll be able to continue because I’m not a cishet upper middle class white boy who will perfectly slot into the diagnostic criteria. That and all my shit overlaps and is impossible to separate. And now that I know shit is wrong with me I can’t even fucking access the shit that makes it better. Oh you mean I need someone to professionally tell me I can’t focus in class?? I FUCKING KNEW THAT HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM YOU ASSHOLES?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE RESOURCES THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE A DOCTOR DIDN’T CERTIFY THAT I’M NOT LYING ABOUT BEING DISTRESSED BY THIS????? DO I FUCKING LOOK DISTRESSED ENOUGH TO YOU??? I’M FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS AND YOU THINK I’M LYING OR SOMETHING???? I get not distributing stimulants without a diagnosis, I get it. But if the thing helps, and you’re a doctor who can control its dispersal, why don’t you just do it anyway??? I’m not even guaranteed a diagnosis because even though I have all of the symptoms it’s apparently not good enough for a self-assessment which doesn’t take into account the fact I also have autism and those two overlap/cancel each other out, which means I’m not guaranteed to get the shit I know would allow me to function like a normal fucking person.

No wonder I’ve never been able to relax, that’s an adhd thing. Even during sex or something I can’t relax, every single action is intentional because I have 15 separate thoughts at once about whether or not I’m doing enough or what I could do to make the other girl feel good too or whatever. I hate it. I want to just turn my brain off and be puppy, but I can’t. I have the autistic inability to turn my brain off and the adhd inability to relax. And it’s exhausting. I get headaches a lot from the sheer mental effort it takes to be alive. I’ve been awake for an hour and I think I’ve done more thinking than the average person does in their whole week. How lovely it would be for my mind to be quiet. Or even just for me to be able to control it. I can’t control my own mind so I try to control everything else in my life and get distressed when I can’t. I usually try to channel it into helping my friends and the people I love but I’m bad at that so it doesn’t even work.

I never really struggled academically as a kid because class wasn’t that challenging and I was privileged enough to have had a really strong foundation. That allowed me to look like I was actually able to hang in school when really I was just good at taking tests and not much else. I constantly forgot homework and materials for class even with my mom reminding me and half packing all of my stuff for me, I’d forget about projects until the night before, I’d have trouble with little details in later math classes which resulted in me not doing as well as I could have, it’s all shit that is part of adhd that not a single person thought to tie back to it. Because apparently you can only have adhd if you’re struggling in school or some shit. The autistic ability to control my actions didn’t help either since I could just mask everything “abnormal” about myself for my own mental and physical safety, which further contributed to everyone around me thinking nothing was wrong, and now everyone thinks I’m just trying to be trendy or label totally normal neurotypical experiences. Somehow they think that my suffering is just for attention or something?? Why would I choose to be like this? I hate it! It’s a disability! Why would I choose to be disabled?? I don’t get why neurotypical people think they can bully kids for being weird and then tell them everything they’ve been bullied for their entire life is normal actually. Why am I being gaslit by the entire world?

[violetgreeneao3]

Fic Graveyard 🪦🕊️

Herein lies a collection of my Abandoned/DNF’d fics, as per someone’s CC request. I have no current plans of continuing/writing these fics so read at the risk of your sanity. (I would rather DIE than let anyone see these trash fire monstrosities in their current forms; I would have to completely restart if I ever wanted to post these concepts 😭)

I also decided to omit the official names I had planned b/c i may use them for other fics and don't want to cause confusion.

The order of these have no meaning, just random. I included notes for each fic with bonus info, why I DNF’d, how far I got, or other ramblings.

1. After the disbandment of izone, each member goes on their respective path, some together, some apart. Four specific members join two different groups— IVE and Le Sesserafim. Or at least what had been IVE and Le Sesserafim. but what happens when Starship is absorbed by HYBE?

Condition: This is one of the only idolverses I’ve ever written. I wrote about ~12k words of this over a year ago.

* Honestly the premise of this one is still appealing to me, but as I collected “dead” fics for this list, I used a certain criteria to decide whether to keep it as a *maybe I’ll write this later* or to toss it. One of those criterion were “Can I think of a good ending?”.

Good doesn't necessarily mean happy, just something I would personally be satisfied with, and the reason most of these fics are on here is because the answer was No—I had absolutely no idea how I would end this fic, so I probably would never finish writing it, either.

2. Assassins AU: wherein Yujin and Wonyoung are both separately tasked with killing a target, like any other run-of-the-mill job for the notorious assassins, except there’s one catch—Their targets are each other. Finally, they’ve met their match.

I was debating whether to add a prior relationship between them or to have them be wayward souls—strangers that feel oddly drawn to one another. This fic was lowkey an excuse to write a knife-to-throat/gun-to-head scene (or sex scene) with LOTS of tension, but the urge to do so passed and I ended up leaving it as a draft.

3. ANOTHER Assassin AU wherein Annyeongz are from rival families that have a blood feud.

I planned for Wonyoung to seduce Yujin while knowing who she was as a sort of “spy”. She lied about her name and developed close a relationship with Yujin, but when her family found out she was faced with a choice: Betray Yujin or betray her family. She chose Yujin, but unfortunately Yujin found out who she really was before she got the chance to confess on her own terms.

*Fic devolves from there, this is all I recall from a brief skim of it*

Condition: Wrote 56k words of this a little over a year ago, abandoned because I didn’t know where to take the story (from what I saw scrolling through it was AWFUL… please trust me)

4. Vampire AU: Yujin and Wonyoung are high school sweethearts, but one day Yujin goes to try out for a strange audition and becomes a vampire.

I think they have vampire sex? Yujin definitely feeds on Wonyoung’s blood to stay alive though, and I think she eventually has to turn Wonyoung into a vampire to save her life despite Wonyoung SPECIFICALLY telling her not to (Basically Yujin had promised never to turn Wonyoung, only to break it when Wonyoung’s life was on the line).

Another thing I recall about this fic is that Yujin goes missing for ~5 years when she leaves for the audition, so she I guess she spent 5 years as a vampire before going back to Wonyoung? I don’t remember how Yujin survived for those 5 years, but I know I remember Wonyoung dating Sunghoon (she moved on and eventually got with after Yujin “left” her), and the second Yujin came back, she broke off her years-long relationship with him to be with her again. Also I think Wonyoung *liked* having her blood sucked… (Random details, but I thought they were cute things to mention)

Condition: Wrote this a little under a year ago, DNF’d at 31k words because I didn’t know where to take the story/lost motivation.

5. A/B/O AU where Yujin is a submissive alpha and Wonyoung is a dominant omega. Classroom sex occurs.

I started writing this because of a recommendation on CC (I think it was just an ABO rec but I wanted to put a spin on it) and abandoned it at ~3k words because my omegaverse writing skills are abysmal.

6. Grey’s Anatomy AU where (basically) Yujin is Derek and Wonyoung is Meredith.

If you’ve never heard of Grey’s:

Yujin is an attending Surgeon and Wonyoung is an intern, which basically means Yujin is who Wonyoung wants to be when she’s older. Before Wonyoung’s first day of work, she meets Yujin in a bar and sleeps with her. She finds out the next day that Yujin is one of her bosses and the fic is a cat and mouse game of Yujin chasing her and then backing out and Wonyoung chasing her back until they finally get together—it’s a terribly written fiasco, but was sort of fun to imagine nonetheless.

Their age gap is about ten years, which is ignored in the show but I addressed it in the fic. A commonality between the fic and the show, however, is that the power imbalance is largely ignored (because that’s no fun! [to write about, anyway. The fic was 90% lighthearted])

Condition: Wrote this over a year ago because I started watching Grey’s, abandoned at ~91k words (How the hell did I write that much?! I need to manifest that type of motivation and free time NOW😭)

7. Wonyoung is home for the summer, back from her office job in Seoul. Yujin, however, had never left their small town. Wonyoung pretends that her life in the city is super fulfilling and perfect but that’s a lie—she hates it and her boyfriend is NOT as great as she makes him out to be—but she’s too proud to admit it. Yujin, a doctor at a local Pediatric office, is much happier. Wonyoung secretly envies her. And maybe still loves her a little bit, too.

The plot mostly revolves around their past and skips around in time, eventually revealing that the feelings Wonyoung had for Yujin as a child weren’t merely friendly, and somehow she missed that while Yujin was fully aware of it. (Double) Eventually, they kiss and Wonyoung has to wrestle with cheating on her boyfriend (family problems make that difficult for her, b/c her father was a cheater and left her mother when she was young [Daddy issues ftw!!]) and also being gay in her small town wouldn’t be taken so kindly.

Condition: This was a DRAFT I planned out earlier this year, so I had an outline of events but didn’t write beyond the first chapter (~3k words). I think it was inspired by a K-drama, can’t recall the name. Abandoned b/c I just wasn’t in the mood for it anymore (I think this made me realize FULLY plotting a story down the dime ruins the fun for me, sadly).

8. Chef AU

I had the idea of making Yujin an Executive Chef and Wonyoung a Commis Chef (like fresh out of culinary school her first job is under Yujin), but I couldn’t come up with a good story, so I changed the plot to make them both mid-level chefs vying for the same higher position. I wanted there to be this enemies to lovers thing where they hate each other because they’re both the best and the other one is “holding them back” but also urging them to better by merely existing, with trust and betrayals and sabotage and reluctant teamwork.

This was one of the first fic ideas I had and it was well before I realized I couldn’t easily write about things I had no experience with. I was (and still am) sorely lacking in the Culinary knowledge required to take on a project of this calibre😭. I would’ve had to research & plan everything out to be accurate, which I realised about 1 chapter in… but at least I learned that “write what you know” is good advice to follow, at least for a beginner…

9. Yujin is a developer for a company that makes AI bots. One day she creates Wonyoung and slowly, after many tests and trails and tribulations, falls in love with her. Obviously the only logical course of action is to steal her and run away.

This is another based on a CC request, and I honestly still think if a cute idea as a one shot, it’s just I liked the idea so much I wanted to make it a long fic with Detroit Becoming Human vibes, but of course that’s a little too advanced for me.

Condition: I wrote ~3k words of this, so not much, but I think this one of the only fics on this list that I could still see myself making something out of, just more goofy and lighthearted. Still, it’s here because I don’t currently have plans to do so.

9. Bridgerton-esque AU where Wonyoung is deemed the “diamond” (most vied-after woman during the courting season), but she can’t quite find someone who she wants to marry. There’s a seemingly perfect guy—a prince—but it’s actually his cousin that Wonyoung has eyes for.

She and Yujin actually end up having a relationship, although in the beginning it’s more of an older sister thing for Yujin where Wonyoung’s love is one-sided, until at some point Yujin stops seeing her that way and takes her feelings seriously, and their relationship became intimate and dangerous.

Condition: I abandoned this at ~19k words because it was getting sad and I couldn’t handle the angst. The ending I had planned was hopeful but still depressing and I don’t think my mental health can handle making that any time soon (or ever. I ENVY all the authors who can spend hours and days and years writing a story with a tragic ending. I just can’t do my babies like that :( )

Side note: I actually came up with this idea BEFORE the most recent season of Bridgerton (like I started writing this idea before even FINISHING season 1), which doesn’t really matter at all, just wanted to claim lesbian bridgerton I guess? I’m just yapping at this point, I love the ending of the latest season despite all the hate it got

LIGHTNING ROUND FOR IDEAS THAT I ONLY WROTE AS SINGLE SENTENCES or failed to write but wanted to mention (all from different times, MOSTLY a year ago but some more recent):

- “Streamer AU Wonyoung accidentally exposes the relationship on cam”

(Cute but lacking plot)

- “Enemies to lovers flower shop x event planner AU”

(this one has some kick ngl…I still see the vision)

- “I like older girls.”

(??? No idea what the idea was, maybe a CC rec? But slay!)

- “Band and cheer.”

(Classic. Succinct. I like it.)

- “Enemies that are secret lovers.”

(I just wrote tropes down and hoped the fics would write themselves I guess.)

(wait, I lowkey still do that…)

- “They meet in a dog park and flirt and go back to her place.”

(I SWEAR I remember someone giving me this idea on CC but I only started making a list of reccs relatively recently so if this was you helloooo, I tried fo write this!)

- “Princess x bodyguard”

(nah because this one still has me trying to write it every once in a while… I’ve dreamt about this AU but can never think of a good plot)

(also a CC rec and I might still write this one now that I’m looking back at it😭)

- “Time travel AU where Wonyoung is a researcher who goes missing and Yujin searches for her in multiple timelines”

(I think I dropped this b/c it lacked romance; was more about Yujin solving the mystery)

- “They’re soloists who are rumored to be dating. A scandal threatens to ruin their careers but they have proof to deny it, but the whole situation brings them close and they bond over how terrible the industry is etc etc…”

(Interesting but I didn’t think it through enough. How does it end??? I can’t handle all that angst😭)

- “Wonyoung bullies Yujin for being a lesbian but it’s just her own internalized homophobia and religious guilt and they fuck in the locker room(or not idk if the vibe is smut).”

(I have so many ideas like this.. but those others are still in my TBD pile)

Other:

- I tried A/B/O outside of the fic I mentioned in the main list and it’s pretty stilted. I think I can do it eventually because I genuinely like the trope, just need more practice for it not to be completely garbage. Also I really struggle with plots in ABO Aus when brainstorming

- Hybrid fics—I also like the idea because it’s so CUTEEE, but I don’t really know how to write them as animals… I think I need to read more

Sorry if these ideas kind of SUCKED but I had to choose fics for this Graveyard that I am (as close as I can be to) 100% certain I will never pick back up again, which made the pickings slimmer compared to my entire “WIP”/Draft list.

There are plenty more drafts I consider “Abandoned” (I have a whole tag on my Notion for it), but I didn’t put them because I could see myself still using them in the future, so they don’t fit with the rest.

If you asked for something on CC within the past couple months but didn’t see it on here, it’s probably because I’m still considering making it and is sitting in my Notes App list, but just to be safe you can always drop by there and leave the same idea again since it doesn’t hurt to make sure I see it❤️❤️

Maybe I can make a separate list of fics I MIGHT write (What separates those fics from these are that I actually planned proper endings for them), but the problem is I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up by saying “Hey, any of these can be fics,” when tomorrow I may decide I hate the idea… It feels a little cruel 😭

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my yap and I love you!! See u next fic (hopefully soon) ❤️❤️

(By CC request I started a Ko-fi where I may or may not post small fics (idk if I’m allowed to do that on there??), but I’ll cross post here too) [might do proper commissions in the future but currently I don’t have the time :(]

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 327: A Saturday at Melissa's, p2 (12pm: Dr. J)

And that’s how I found myself gripping her big pink double-K-cup bra, walking down the stairs, periodically drawing a deep breath from it.

I’d woken again another hour later, mortified to find my face still pressed into the right cup of the bra she’d left me on her pillow aside me. She figured I’d want  “to snuggle with it”. I’d certainly more than snuggled with it and quickly realized I’d need to clean myself and - best I could - these sheets. I’d peeled my face out, left the bra behind, and made it to the en-suite bathroom. Just a lav for a guest room but the ceiling soared, a skylight brightening white walls, chrome fixtures and beautiful pale stone tile work naturally. A big tub with multiple jets that looked like it could seat five dominated one corner, but it was in the separate glassed-in shower that I found myself getting a little queasy. I’d needed to clean myself off, but even the nicely warm water from the overhead rain head couldn’t  wash away my building nausea. I recognized the feeling, hoping I wouldn’t start retching as I toweled off, and was drawn back to the bed.

Oversized towel around my undersized waist, I’d realized that I’d begun to feel better the closer I got to the bed. When I sat down, on Melissa’s side of the mattress, and gathered some sheets in my fist to bring them to my face my stomach actually settled a little bit, breathing her in. It smelled like her, and made me feel better. Her perfume, or maybe her laundry detergent, must have some anti-nausea properties? I’ll have to ask her about that, I decided, and took another deep breath. That’s pretty helpful. Indeed, as soon as I stood up, left the bed, my nausea returned.

In the meantime, I’d known I couldn’t spend the day nakedly wrapped in a towel. I needed to get down to the laundry where Melissa said she’d done my clothes. I’d looked at the bra she’d left me, recalled how the smooth, perfumed inner surface of the right cup had embraced my face. The thought was mortifying but I didn’t know if I had a choice. Besides, there was no one else here to see me. And so there I was, on the stairs…

I took another deep breath from the inner surface of her silky-smooth, double-K-cup underwire and finally reached the bottom of the stairs. White, waffle-weave towel around my waist, there was little hiding the other embarrassment of yet another erection tenting my erstwhile skirt; each breath from her bra indeed seemed to fortify it. 

Again, thank god I was alone. I was looking for the downstairs laundry and found myself wandering, bra-to-face, giving myself another tour. I meandered through the kitchen, saw the great room where we’d spent some time last night, and walked by a display table on which a number of framed photos sat. There were a number on the wall, as well.

I’d say ‘aw, adorable’ usually when finding family photos, obviously arranged by a proud mom, but whoah. These were not awkward high school portraits, or crying toddlers on Santa’s lap. Pictures of Melissa as a teen, alongside those of a redhead who I assumed was the sister she’d mentioned in passing, were far beyond ‘adorable’. She’d obviously been a hottie right out of the gate, and her sister no slouch either.. Frozen, now gawping and feeling my cock rise even further and threaten to tear the thin towel from my waist, I barely registered the few blank spaces on the wall where pictures had been taken down, or the actual empty frames on the table. No pictures of any hints of parents or other family members, either. Not even a family pet. There was a cat around here somewhere, right?

Weird, I finally thought, but still found myself gripping my cock through the towel and mindlessly picking up the school-girl shot of Melissa from behind the others. I gripped myself, stroked, and tried to make out the titles of the books she was holding, or find the hint of bra through her uniform. Just a quick one, I thought to myself, as I inhaled again from the inside of her bra cup and drifted over towards the couch, one to clear the head…

=============================================

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

MMX Code: Crimpphire World Building Part 2 - Abel City

I'll finally be able to talk about the other city that was the start of the main focus, but it waned after it was nuked by Sigma. Abel City. If you wanna see the one on Mega City, you can see it here

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3

Now I was thinking it could be Arcadia, since that took place in the Archie Comics, but I have been planning since 2019 for it to be Abel City, since that was implemented in the Day of Sigma OVA. And that’s going to be included in the AU, so checks out~.

Without further ado- let’s get on with what Abel City would be like for the AU~.

First, we look at the “Mysterious Gloree” Woods Preservation Center!! There are places in the country of Glockthain that preserve many woods in 21XX, and Abel city is one of them. Unfortunately, it gets damaged in the missile attack Sigma launched onto the city

Then we have The Answer Bar and Club!! It’s a place Zero liked to go with his unit after a good job well done. He hardly ever saw the point in going to a bar, but he liked having fun. He found more of a reason to go when X started acing his ranks and going up, and being at Rank B by the time Day of Sigma Arc rolled around

Shushiko restaurant is next, and of course of the name, it’s a sushi restaurant~. It’s a conveyor belt restaurant too~. X and Zero like going there every once in a while, again before the missile attack hit Abel City

And then we have Arthur Cain Park. A park dedicated to our loveable Dr Cain. And yes, his first name is Arthur in this AU, which I felt fit~. Maybe I can make a separate headcanon to explain my thought process about it, if you guys would like~

And if we can direct your attention to another place called “Pockets of Time Antiques”. A store Xev went to with Dr Cain before he became a hunter. Since X was very interested in old things from the past, Cain decided to indulge him more into that, and music boxes caught his interest more than anything else in the world. They still made them in his time, but they weren’t made as much as they were back in the 19th and 20th centuries. The 21st still had music boxes, but they aren’t made with much care as they were back in those days.

Going into Maverick Hunter territory, Abel City Maverick Hunter HQ and its Base Landing Pad were quite a building. Of course, you’ve seen it in the OVA, it’s towering high in over 30 stories and sporting the Maverick Hunter logo up at the top. And it has a flat top as well for helicopters and Hunters that fly, like Storm Eagle to land onto. Of course, they have to be authorized to land on HQ but they are allowed to land as such with that in mind

And then there are the three schools located around Abel City. The Elementary School of Trinity, holding Grades k-6, Eagle Mountain Junior High School, housing grades 7-9, and Frozen Promise High School, housing grades 10-12. Not to mention there’s a community college and university combo building called Holy Cypress.

Now to address if there’s a holding facility with the HQ. Which there is, except it’s a death row facility called Nightmare Max Security Penitentiary. It’s something taking place where termination of Mavericks were the only option at the time before Abel City was nuked with missiles. Later on in the story, it’s more considered to give Mavericks another chance other than termination thanks to, of course, X.

Lastly, we have the Gentle Oak Memorial Park. There, they held many fallen bystanders and Hunters in very gruesome Maverick attacks, and there is a program that helps pay respects to those who’ve fallen. Idk what they would be called but I’m sure there would be at least a significant name for their efforts to be remembered.

And that should be it for Abel City~! I’ll hopefully post more world building as I post the fic series~.

[thelegendofstella]

Gravesfield + Gravesfield County probable locations in TOH

So, out of all the Gravesfield speculation I’ve seen so far, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone try to actually parse out its specific location within Connecticut, which is a shame because that window is SURPRISINGLY narrow now that we have certain bits of information about it on our hands. Not only that, but we also know that Gravesfield is part of its own county (”Gravesfield County Zoo,” anyone?), which has a lot of interesting implications as well. At least location-wise it does—I don’t know if it has any lore connections or not, though it’d be interesting to see if it did, at least. Not the point of this post though, so whoever wants to figure that out can have at it. Anyway...

TL;DR: I’m almost 95% sure that Gravesfield is located somewhere in southwestern irl Litchfield County along Route 109, and that its county should surround it and some other cities in mostly the same area. All the evidence I have to support this is below the cut:

The main source I'm drawing from here is this image:

Source: Tweet from John Bailey Owen, posted Oct 14 2022

For those who don’t know, this was a promo image of a fake Gravesfield website homepage screenshot that was posted October 14, 2022, just before Thanks to Them aired. For the most part, it looks like a regular, albeit slightly clunky 2000s-era-looking, website, except for the bits of weirdness/dark humor littered about the text (”Escape Routes,” “The Truth About This Place,” “Sightings,” “if you visit once, you may even wind up staying”) and the hidden text in the bottom corners of the page (which spell out “HELP THEM”). People of course freaked out about this stuff, as is evident in the replies of the original tweet, analyzed all of it to death, blah blah blah, that’s pretty much old news at this point.

There’s also a small calendar on the right side of the page that indicates that the events of the show are possibly happening on some year that the first day of October lands on a Saturday, and when accounting for Luz’s age (14/15) and her modern lingo and stuff, those years could be 2005, 2011, 2016, and 2022. Smartphones like what Luz has in her possession were definitely not around in 2005, and probably not around in 2011, so either 2016 or 2022 are reasonable in-universe years to guess, with it probably leaning more towards 2022 because of the irl show’s creation date.

I could probably make a whole separate post on my thoughts on the date stuff and speculate the hell out of it, honestly, but that isn’t the subject I want to cover in this particular post. No, I’m more interested in what seemingly no one else has picked up on here: the location hints.

The fake screenshot doesn’t explicitly say where Gravesfield is located, obviously, but it does have two pieces of information that narrow down the possibilities significantly when put together.

The first piece of information is this:

Route 109 is an actual route in Connecticut, which spans from New Milford to Thomaston as seen here:

Source: Connecticut Route 109 Wikipedia page, retrieved Feb 1 2023

In order for this route to be relevant to Gravesfield news, the town has to be along this route somewhere, or at least nearby it in some measure (aka it has to legally be within city bounds, which I’ll get into later). Route 109 is located in southern irl Litchfield County, which means that Gravesfield is also located in southern irl Litchfield County somewhere.

That’s pretty good and all, definitely a lot better than just throwing a dart at the map and hoping it lands somewhere decent, but it can be narrowed down even further. The second piece of information we have is this:

This is a real thing too. Regional School District 12 (or the RSD 12) is one of many school districts in Connecticut, and it happens to serve the towns of Washington, Bridgewater and Roxbury, all of which are, coincidentally, located in southern irl Litchfield County.

Washington is pretty much right on Route 109, as seen in the map above, so that means that in order for Gravesfield to be both within RSD 12 bounds and nearby Route 109 at the same time, it has to be within irl Washington’s city bounds. I’ve drawn up a diagram of sorts below with this information in mind:

Source: me :D (and google maps)

The speculatory boundary I marked between the Washington and Gravesfield city bounds here is really just one rather simple possibility of how it might be cut up while still accounting for a part of Route 109 being within Gravesfield’s jurisdiction. Again, if the route weren’t part of it, it wouldn’t show up on the city website as a relevant announcement (and if it were part of a county-wide thing, it probably would have stated it as a county announcement or something).

So there you have it: most likely locations for where Gravesfield might be in Connecticut, give or take. I could speculate even further on where exactly within these areas Gravesfield could be placed, with analyzing the smaller roads and all that, but that would honestly just be pure speculation based on personal bias/preference/etc. and not, y’know, anything concrete enough to be a plausible theory, so I’ll just leave it as it is and let individual headcanons do the rest of the work on that front.

But there’s also Gravesfield County to worry about, as shown here:

Source: The Owl House Season 3 Episode 1: “Thanks to Them”

(The fact that this is even a canon background thing in the show is bonkers, because holy shit I can’t imagine what kind of butterfly effect nonsense this must’ve made in-universe compared to irl history, but I digress.)

What this means is that the southern part of irl Litchfield County at minimum is actually Gravesfield County in the TOH universe by default, since it has to include Gravesfield in it, being the town its ultimately named after. And since we’ve already established Gravesfield’s approximate location here, its county could possibly look something like this:

Source: me (and google maps) again

It’s a lot less concrete than the location of Gravesfield itself, obviously, but that’s because I don’t have much else to work with here other than that one screenshot from Thanks to Them and what I’ve theorized about Gravesfield so far. For all I know, the entirety of irl Litchfield County is Gravesfield County, not just a part of it, or maybe Gravesfield County goes even further south than what I’ve depicted and contains parts of the Fairfield and New Haven counties for whatever reason—who knows, really? Whatever it might be, it’s definitely somewhere in western Connecticut, surrounding New Milford, Washington, Route 109, etc., and that’s good enough for me in the interest of sticking to the concrete stuff.

Fun fact: apparently Connecticut doesn’t have county governments nor county seats, so despite the fact that Gravesfield County is named after Gravesfield, the town itself isn’t, like, a grand authority on other places nearby or anything. Each city within the county deals with their own police, fire department, schools, hospitals, etc. (and zoos. Gravesfield is apparently big enough to have a whole-ass zoo in it. Wild.)

The only thing that might break this in some respects is, well, potential butterfly effect shenanigans. It can be argued that because Gravesfield and Gravesfield County exist in the TOH universe, the exact positions of the other counties, towns, etc. could be drastically different from where they are irl, and things like the regional school districts could have totally different boundaries and thus the triangulation I just did using them is pretty much useless, but there’s nothing confirming any of this in Word of God or in the show canon as of today, so I’m fairly confident that we’re working with a world that’s very similar to the irl world Except For Gravesfield. Unless the last special pulls some sort of epilogue nonsense in Gravesfield that completely obliterates my base-line irl world assumptions for this universe, anyway. You never know lmao

So basically, in short: Gravesfield and its eponymous county are most likely located in southern/southwestern irl Litchfield County around Route 109 or thereabouts, and probably replace that particular area as their own governmental entities instead of being part of a different county or something. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[p5x-theories]

P5X: What We Know About The Game

Now that P5X’s beta playtest, which ran from March 29th to 31st, has closed, here’s a summary of what we know about the game itself so far. Hopefully this’ll be useful both for anyone who hasn’t been keeping up with the news about it and for anyone who has been keeping up, but wants the information all in one place.

After this post, I’ll make separate posts going into what we know about each new playable character, as well. I’ve also already made a post summarizing the first Palace’s worth of the story (as that’s what the beta playtest showcased) which can be found in my pinned post once I update it hopefully tomorrow.

I’m keeping this post as succinct as possible, but it’s still enough to belong under a readmore, haha.

Overview

P5X is a turn-based RPG mobile game with gacha elements, developed by Black Wings Game Studio and published by Perfect World Games. While not directly creating it, it is officially licensed by Atlus, and Atlus has apparently been very involved in its production, including Shigenori Soejima designing the protagonist and his Persona.

The game’s text is in Chinese, but all the voice acting, at least in the beta, was in Japanese.

There are specifically two gachas in the game- a character gacha for gaining teammates, and a weapons gacha for gaining better weapons for those teammates.

Right now, we know the game will release on both mobile and PC, but it’s unconfirmed whether it will release anywhere outside of China, and we don’t have a release date for even the original Chinese version of the game.

The Characters

So far there are nine known new Persona users: Wonder (the protagonist), an owl whose name is unofficially translated as Luffy (codename Cattle), a sporty girl named Motoha Arai (codename Closer), three characters that were only obtainable via the gacha in the beta named Seiji Shiratori (Seiji), Kotone Montagne (Mont), and Yukimi Fujikawa (Yuki), and three future teammates identified via datamining: a rules-abiding student named Riko Tanemura, a blue-haired punk student who some files call “Soy”, and a green-haired person of the Star arcana that files refer to as both “Hupo” and “Leo”, with “Leo” being their codename.

The Velvet Room also has a new attendant, named Merope, pronounced like the star.

Also available, only in the character gacha (at least in the beta), are the original P5′s playable characters: Joker, Skull, Mona, Panther, Fox, Queen, Oracle, Noir, and Crow. In-game they are explained as cognitive beings, rather than the in-game real-world people. Datamining has also found some of Wolf’s battle voice lines from P5S, and an icon from P5S with Sophie, in the files of the beta playtest, suggesting they may later be added as well. No sign of Violet has been found yet.

Munehisa Iwai also returns, running Untouchable and specifically the weapons gacha in P5X. Tae Takemi was able to be talked to in the beta, but had no game role, and Chihaya Mifune also made a cameo. The other original P5 Confidants’ talk portraits have been datamined from the beta, but it’s currently unknown whether they’ll actually return in any capacity.

The Music

Three new songs sung by Lyn were found in the beta: “Last Strike”, “Wake Up Your Hero”, and “Shadow Loop”. In addition, two other new instrumental themes were found: “Elite Battle” and “Fatal Desire”. The rest of the beta’s soundtrack was just songs from P5.

Locations

Many of P5 and P5R’s locations have been confirmed for P5X, including Yongen-Jaya, Kichijoji, and Shibuya, but the protagonist lives in a new location called Zoshigaya, and goes to a new school called Kokatsu Academy.

(Note that while Yongen-Jaya exists, Leblanc has been replaced with a generic coffee shop, run by someone other than Sojiro Sakura. Similarly, the Big Bang Burger in Shibuya is now just called Big Burger, with no apparent traces of the space theming.)

Mementos and the concept of Palaces also return in P5X, though there are some differences. At least in the beta, Mementos operated as a sort of hub, with characters entering the single Palace included in the beta through Mementos, from the entrance to the Palace located within the massive, set (as opposed to randomly generated), singular floor of Mementos available in the beta. Mementos also had three special battle locations apparently similar to “domains” in Genshin Impact, where completing the fight gives special items to strengthen characters and weapons, themed after the first three of P5′s Palaces.

Basic Game Mechanics

For the most part, P5X’s beta operated extremely similarly to P5, both in and out of the Metaverse. One notable difference is that the calendar doesn’t seem to be progressed by anything but the story- other activities, such as working, crafting infiltration tools, and spending time with Confidants, instead cost hourglasses to do (which are replenished daily), without being restricted to a single afternoon and nighttime time slot each day, as was the case in P5.

One interesting and more significant change made in this category is that the Confidants have what appears to be a total of 20 ranks, instead of the series-standard 10.

The UI elements of combat look a little different (as well as all the skill animations), appearing to be more optimized for mobile play, but otherwise seem largely the same to P5, though one notable difference is that it seems Navigator skills can be called in at will, rather than occurring randomly. There is a new kind of special attack called a Highlight Attack, which is similar to P5S’s Showtime attacks where the character executes a special attack with their Persona.

The protagonist can gain Personas by talking to shadows, and fuse them in the Velvet Room. Challenge battles in the Velvet Room, like in P5R, are available to attempt. Palace exploration also seems relatively standard, even if the Palace itself and the method of entering it is different. One major change is that several shadow/Persona designs have been censored- such as Incubus now wearing shorts, Bugs’ stomach is repaired and the bloodstains are gone, and Hell Biker has a helmet covering his flaming skull- but this only seems to be a cosmetic change.

Miscellaneous

It’s worth noting that because the game has yet to be officially translated to English in any capacity, character names can only be absolutely confirmed when they’re either written in Japanese kana (as opposed to the Japanese kanji characters names are typically written) or spoken aloud in official material, to confirm which reading of the names is correct. All the codenames are written in English and thus easily confirmed, but the only teammates’ names confirmed in the beta are Motoha Arai, Yukimi Fujikawa, and Riko Tanemura. Seiji Shiratori and Kotone Montagne’s may have also been confirmed in the beta, but at least as of posting this, I haven’t been able to find proof of it in any gameplay videos available online. Luffy’s name is a particular outlier here, in that it is spoken aloud in the game, but as “Ruferu” instead, and it’s currently unknown whether Luffy will be the official translation of that or not.

And just to close this out, keep in mind that the majority of our information about the gameplay specifically comes from the beta version, and thus things may change in a later beta playtest and/or in the actual release of the game. This post is up to date as of 4/1/23 when it was written, but it won’t necessarily be accurate forever!

[bigtimesinsmallspaces]

Post 6: A Tale of Two Zephyrs Part One

Even the word Zephyr sounds beautiful, and has a poetic meaning of “gentle winds”. Boarding this train FELT poetic and momentous. We had worked hard to get here. This was also the one segment of the trip that we had booked outside of our Rail Pass and upgraded to an actual sleeper. So for 24 hours we would be living the life of luxury, in our own roomette, with meals in the dining car. I was ready to sleep laying down on the train!!

The #6 California Zephyr originates outside of San Francisco. Boarding two hours down the line at Sacramento (after that razzle dazzle to get us to the train on time) we would travel eastward for the next 24 hours through Truckee, Reno, and Salt Lake City, to our next stop in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Shortly after getting on the train we were slowly climbing in elevation. Soon we would be riding through Truckee and the Sierra Nevadas. Truckee is a snowy, cold ski and recreational town. The Donner Pass is here and you can Google the details. Suffice it to say I would not wish to be in a wagon train stuck for the winter of 1846 at Donner Pass. At over 7,000 feet this was also the only area where I felt the impact of high elevation— slight nausea and a bit breathless. This quickly subsided as we came down out of the mountains and later had a stop at Reno.

Having access to the dining car and full meal service was a real treat after many days of picking through our bag of snacks and eating cafe food. The dining car may not meet the standards of those who reminisce about the grand ‘ole days on the train (yes, I do own some china once used on the Norfolk and Western Line) but it was top notch to me. I’ll do a separate blog later discussing in greater detail the logistics of what it’s like to live on the train for nine days. For now I’ll just say that in this 24 hour segment we had some good food.

We met some very nice people along the way, as well as many wonderful Amtrak employees. But an interesting aspect of the dining car is that Amtrak must maximize its dining capacity, and therefore enforces community dining— that is, there are no tables for one or two. You are seated with other passengers. On this segment we were “matched with” a young woman for both our lunch and dinner. She was traveling from Florida in between jobs and happened to have gone to college near where I grew up in Virginia. I say “matched with” because the dining room attendant, Drew, entertained us (past the dinner hour) with stories about his job. He said he literally did try to match people up in the seatings. In fact he said he matched a couple who returned to the train a year later to be married (while the train was in the Moffet Tunnel no less) and he served as the officiant. At breakfast we were “matched” with a retired gentleman who happened to live in the neighborhood outside American University where Allison went to school. It was interesting to share our excitement and experiences with others.

After an oversized dinner dessert we were ready for our undersized bunk beds in our even more undersized 22 square foot roomette (that is NOT a typo) with equally unimpressive two inch mattresses. Regardless, we were in HORIZONTAL heaven!! We slept beneath some battery operated Christmas lights we strung up for ambiance or just in case we lost power in a tunnel (hey, after reading about Donners Pass some lights and a plethora of snacks seemed like a minimal effort). Let me say, regardless of how it’s done, there is just nothing like sleeping (or trying to sleep) on a train. The sound of the whistle throughout the night, along with the rocking of the train, and the sense of catapulting through space is absolutely mesmerizing. For me it’s often trying to sleep, it’s just so wonderful I don’t even want to miss a minute!

The next morning we were greeted with a pot of coffee right outside our room. While we were at breakfast our wonderful car attendent LaShonda transformed our tiny beds back to seats as we enjoyed the beautiful ride into Utah.

Pictures below: At the Sacramento Station preparing to board the Zephyr, scenes from the Sierra Nevadas and Donner Pass, Dinner in the dining car with Drew, the 22 sq ft roomette at bedtime.

[sanversandfriends]

Fic isn't just an act of repair as Henry Jenkins says, but sometimes a safe place in which to tear everything apart. Here to talk about diving into those darker and grittier character spaces is @nerdsbianhokie, a writer who's been captivating Sanvers and Director Sanvers fans for years.

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?

Over two decades ago, I was six years old and reading a new book and had the sudden realization that I wanted to make people feel like that book made me feel. Since then, I've been a writer. The first fic I wrote was before I even knew fanfic was a thing. I was barely thirteen years old and all about CSI and had this vivid idea of a very short scene. I quickly found places where fic was hosted, and began to read and post.

Since then, I've moved through fandoms, sometimes staying for a time, like with Bering and Wells, other times only lingering for a brief moment. I watched Supergirl between season 1 and two, after learning that Maggie Sawyer, one of my favorite comic book characters (one of the first openly lesbian characters in mainstream comics? out before the comic code was done away with? what's not to love) was joining the show. I didn't watch beyond the first few episodes of season 3, but the characters have a hold of me and aren't letting go.

Since my time in the Bering and Wells fandom, angst and aus have been my favorite spaces to play in. Exploring darker spaces in the safety of fiction has always been a draw of writing to me, and the Supergirl characters can fit so well in so many different universes.

What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?

This fic started as a tumblr post by magicmumu2 about Alex and Maggie reuniting years later because their kids keep getting in trouble at school. I then made it sad by giving Alex a recently dead wife.

I really fell into the idea that Alex and Maggie did move on after their breakup, but then remeet at a later point in their lives. When thinking on how Alex might move on in a way I find interesting, I landed on my beloved Lucy Lane. My ultimate ship for Supergirl is Director Sanvers, so I've written all combinations of Alex, Maggie, and Lucy over the years, but the idea that Alex was happy with Lucy, but then lost Lucy and found Maggie again while still mourning, really pulled me in

Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? 

The time away hasn't really changed much, as I've been distracted by so many other fics, but having new eyes on it has really helped me figure out some things I was stuck on that kept me from working on it more.

 Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?

Write. The best thing you can do is get ink on the paper. Writing is an art that needs to be practiced just like any other. As somebody with a degree in creative writing, I think the time I've spent writing and the amount of writing I've done has, cumulatively, done more for me than all the classes I took. 

If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be? 

A deep look into grief and healing, mourning and love.

If you’ve already posted some of your work, please provide a link. 

This is the original post, with the prompt and my initial addition.

I have also posted two separate fics that aren't part of this one but are in the universe as I worked out how Alex and Lucy got together and their family dynamic.

[bunny-carrothunter]

the questions you get are scary lol

so could you rank your poinion on the villains from best to worst?

thank god finally an sfw asks for the wordgirl tag alfkjskd there's like so many villains jfc but I'll try to be brief. Rank as in favorites or how good they are villains? I’ll do the latter, the former I’ll make a separate post for it.

this is my opinion on ranking, ik everyone has their own.

Villains I won't even mention cuz I don't have a big enough opinion on: Coach, Masked Meat Marauder, Timmy Timbo, Rhyme&Reason, Raul, Glen, Royal Dandy, Amazing Rope Guy, Big Left Hand Guy, Guy Rich (even tho I love him) and Kid Potato (RIP ;-;).

17. Eileen

Both easy to get her riled up and get her to calm down. Just a nuisance, not really a villain. Also her episodes are just either tedious or give us all collective ptsd from that one annoying spoiled child in middle school.

16. Seymour

Above Eileen cuz he's actually entertaining sometimes. Daran Norris voicing any character will automatically be a fun time. Good at tricking people (tho that doesn't say much when those people are from Fair City) and concepts can be fun.

15. Invisi-Bill

Yes, just him and not his bf, dont hurt me. On his own, he can both fun and tricky but he's much too focused on being the center of attention or prideful to really do much. I love him, but as a villain, he could use work. He and BLHG just do it for fun and status so can't blame them.

14. Granny May

An OG but I’m putting her low because most of her crimes/schticks seem to be the same thing. And yeah their effective (with the people of Fair City, lol), but it does get boring sometimes. And it sucks cuz she’s such a girlboss but she does get pushed aside a lot compared to the other villains, specially in later seasons. I feel they could of done more with her, tbh.

13. Butcher

I'm gonna get lash for this- As a character, I love Butcher. 10/10 dad material. But as a villain.. It mostly sometimes feels he just does it just because, not out of any motive, other than maybe wanting to be appreciated and respected by his veteran-villain dad, Kid Potato. He's THE OG villain voiced by the show's own co-creator, and yet when put with other villains, he kinda lacks motive. Love him, but compared to the next villains, he's low here. Love ya, Butcher.

12. Maria the Energy Monster

She's like Eileen but actually a threat, and with much more personality. Not only can you not attack her directly because well electricity, but it's hard to actually defeat her when she's literal just an element, but love that despite it she still gets her own character.

11. Nocan the Contrarian

Nocan is when you take a himbo and give him the title of a villain and no further instructions. Most of the time he's just vibing but as a villain, he can be difficult to defeat and that's a compliment. Both strong with a weapon and physically, but also just a lot of fun.

10. The Learnerner

Weird Al. That's it.

9. Victoria Best

Now here's where we get to actual motives for being a villain. On her own, Victoria is a complex, love-to-hate character, but when she decides to play the villain, Victoria can be a real threat. She'll go lengths for jealousy and approval and that can cause problems not only for Wordgirl but everyone else around her. It makes it not only interesting to watch but WANT her to do better, unlike other villains you just enjoy to watch actually play as the show villain.

8. Ms Question

Harmless at first, Ms Question actually does possess abilities that can cause chaos and harm when she focuses. Not only can she confuse and escape any enemy just with her super natural abilities, but she can also spread her power to food that can spread much quicker and more discreetly. Not only that, she can materialize a hoverboard on command not only for her but others she carries around. Mischievous at her core and absolutely fun to watch. She actually got rid of all the villains in town singlehandedly and would of won if they hadn’t come back.

7. Whammer

Absolute chaos of a man that vibes and I love him. Physically, he’s definitely the strongest of the villains, being able to take down a ship with a single pebble and lifting a ferris wheel right off its hinges. AND a himbo? Whole package. I love Whammer, he’s funny, adorable and so fun when it comes to character interactions.

6. Lady Redundant Woman

Girlboss. The fact she works in retail and chooses to be a villain on the side like a hobby is so funny to me, go off girl. Her ability to duplicate anything, not just art but actual people is lowkey OP? AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT? Feral lady that bites rude people’s ankles and we stan.

5. Tobey

Before you attack me, hear me out. Tobey relies mostly on his robots, which he’s really good at, however without it, he’s literately just a kid. I would of liked to see if he’s as good in computers as he is in engineering like if he was able to hack into electronics, that would be another thing (tho I AM using this hc for a fic I’m writing), but if doesn’t have his robots or the funds for (”The Shrinking Allowance” comic being an example of this scenario), plus the fact his only motive is getting Wordgirl’s attention, doesn’t do much for him as a villain. Still, he is still quite formidable.

4. Mr. Big & Leslie

Ignoring the fact Mr Big almost did take over the world twice, he and Leslie are also just fun to watch as a duo. Admittedly Mr Big could do more damage if he didn’t have Leslie to keep him in check, who’s has actively stopped or interfere his plans because she just decided to lol. Mr Big can be more evil than other villains as he’s one of the few that did incapacitate Wordgirl (Ms Power included) for some time. But alas, it’s his own incompetency (and well, himboness) that prevents him from getting to say Two Brains level.

3. Chuck

Talk about never judge a book by its cover. The fact Chuck has ACTUALLY managed to take over the world/city with the rest of the villains under his command and everyone just casually forgets because yeah you wouldn’t expect it from someone that lives in his mom’s basement. It’s not clear if he buys all his weapons or makes them himself, but he def makes the best out of them.

2. Ms. Power

Absolute no doubt. If it wasn’t for one weakness of just not listening to her, she definitely would have been OP. Not to say she already wasn’t, being up to Wordgirl’s level, but unlike Wordgirl, she needs someone else’s weakness (and well feelings) to win. Still, OP, 10/10 villain, love Jane Lynch, so much potential and I like her. 

1. Dr Two-Brains

Was there ever any doubt? Fan favorite aside, there’s a reason he’s the top villain. Not only is he the most story/plot written villain with past history with Wordgirl herself, inventions alone, he’s basically a super human with ridiculously enhanced sense of smell, teeth to chew drywall and even steel bars, enhanced speed and of course super intelligence. He’s up to Dr Cockroach level of intelligence to build a ray out of arts and crafts and scraps. And ALL THAT aside, this man can sing, dance, ice skate, is a frequent cook, can speak mouse and has an incredible charisma. Goes without saying, there’s a reason he’s a favorite villain to almost everyone.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

This is a semi old ask but I don’t plan on rewriting anything SO SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE ANON

[marx-xiii]

Hi I’ve never made a post like this, but I just had the craziest conversation with my mother and so much of my life makes sense now. I’m not looking for sympathy or advice, I really just want to get this out. Fair warning in advance for use of slurs, and I will be talking about school related trauma.

For those of you that don’t know me, hi you can call me Marx. I grew up in the early 2000s and was raised by my two lesbian mothers. One biological, and another who’s out of the picture, but that’s a story for another day.

I’ve had always struggled a lot in school, but I’ve always felt an imposter when talking about them in the context of mental health. I can barely remember anything from Pre-K up to 3rd grade, so I always felt like I had no room to talk if I could remember it. But today I was talking to my biological Mom, who I will simply refer to as my Mom from here on out because she’s always been my major maternal figure, and somehow we got onto the topic of my childhood and hometown. Jesus Christ, the way the people in my home town treated me was just straight up evil.

In Pre-K, literally my first teacher was this bitter old woman, who had a reputation for selecting one boy each year and just absolutely breaking them. Apparently, I walked up to her on the first day with no fear and held her hand. She made some snide remark about how brave a little boy I was while we walked inside. Later that day I got up to go to the bathroom, and she just hollered at me to sit down for getting up without permission. I was so scared that I wet myself right there and then in front of the whole class and everyone started laughing at me. From that day forward she would fucking separate me from the rest of the class, literally would stop them from talking to me, and that town was so backwards and hateful that they basically encouraged it.

Sadly it didn’t stop with her. Even after I left her class, that reputation of being a punching bag stuck with me, and was only amplified by their homophobic parents. Evidently, the mere presence of my openly gay mothers was enough justification for them to treat me like the fucking bogeyman.

Deadass my “best friend” at the time, who my mother drove to school every morning refused to talk to me at school. He would just straight up hide from me because he knew better than to be associated with me.

I had friends’ parents who would send me home from their house when other kids came over, because God forbid the other moms of the PTA saw you associating with the two d*kes and their weird little f*ggot boy tyke.

Even during the holidays, when the class moms organized a gift exchange, they deliberately went out of their way to exclude me and refused to get me a gift. And later that day, a girl from my class had to drag her mom out to get me a gift because her father refused to give her the money for it.

So much of my life makes sense now, to this day I feel genuine fear every time I have to talk to an authority figure. It’s like a survival instinct, literally fight or flight. I feel like I have to protect myself from them. And I always used to feel like it was because I was just paranoid, now I know it was because I was genuinely fucking traumatized as a kid.

It actually feels really good to have those feelings validated. It wasn’t just me.

Anyways, thank you for reading if you made it this far. I have to go now and do 50 drawings of a bag of flour kicking a ball, but when I get home I’ll be make edits to fix the formatting if need be.

[rantsbyra]

Quick Life Update

June 4, 2023

G3 N15 - Rosalia

Damn, it’s been a while. Hey, just a little small life update since the last time I posted, which was like maybe eight/nine months ago. Damn frr...  So, I just finished my third year of college this past May, but let’s do a quick run through from where I left off in like August? September? So, I started my third year of college last fall. That was super cool, Honestly, best year so far. It was like I was finally living in a post pandemic world for real meaning I finally got somewhat of a normal college experience. I made new friends and got closer with some of the ones I had made in the past two years. I started talking my musicianship a lot more seriously. Which, I’m not sure if I’ve said on here yet, but I’m going to school for music. (BM in Voice) I got to take part in some newer experiences and got more comfortable on the stage. I got to be a part of my first opera production and had some opera scene classes, which was really fun. However, I didn’t pass my upper divisional, which at my school is a performance in front of the entire music faculty and they tell you if it was good or not, so that wasn’t fun. It was a very depressing week or so after finding out that news, so I think I’ll right about it maybe soon. I also had my first recital. That was really fun and exciting, but also anxiety inducing because I didn’t want it to be bad, which I don’t think it was. Overall, this school year went rather well despite some low points. Other things that have happened since my break: I’ve gone to a few concerts. I got to see Harry Styles back in October which was really fun. It was my first time seeing him and I was really excited. I looked really cute and had so much fun. I also saw Waterparks in May with my sister and Kali Uchis the week after with my cousin. Both really great concerts. I’ll try to make posts for those later with the videos and pics I got. On a separate note, I’ve gotten back into reading recently. I finished American Gods and After Dark recently and I started The Woman Destroyed not too long ago and I’m having so much fun finally enjoying reading again for the first time in a while. Some other stuff probably happened that I’m forgetting, but yeah. That’s been my life over the past months. I’ve been really happy which has felt strange, but good so yeah. Till next time, I guess. Also happy pride month! <3

[lets-curse-each-other]

Itadori Yuuji. A cursed child

Summary:

• Itadori’s personality, environment, background;

• Life guidelines and principles;

• Tragedies and their impacts;

• Moral dilemmas;

• Character’s development;

• Possible outcome.

Keep in mind:

• This is done to generalize the information and better understand Itadori. Most likely, I’ll not discover new truths, but will simply state the facts and note important (in my opinion) details;

• Periodically I use some interesting ideas from other analyses/theories. Links are attached;

• The article is divided into several points that will be posted separately.

Introduction:

To be a shonen protagonist is hard work. Especially when your story doesn’t focus on how you become a hokage or look for mysterious treasure, yet with how slowly but surely you bring your execution closer. Itadori Yuuji’s death sentence is signed at the beginning, and throughout the story the concept of predictability plays an important role. A walking dead, but this doomed character can easily give us, readers, food for thought.

I. Who are you, Itadori Yuuji?

Itadori Yuuji was a fifteen-year-old pupil who had lived on his own for some time, because the grandad, the only relative, suffered a serious disease and was at the hospital. It clearly showed how independent he was at his age.

“Yuuji was drawn as someone who tends to just go with the flow. He didn’t really have a specific purpose, or a close friend”, as was said in a well-written analysis, and it perfectly describes Itadori. The only friends Yuuji had were older guys from a school club, but we have this frame that explains several things:

A couple of months? There is no information about people Yuuji communicated with before, there were only two guys with whom he spent limiting time a day and sometimes took part in activities which didn’t really attract him. “Other than the freedom he got, the club also offered him some casual company when he wasn’t in hospital to take care of his grandfather, which was enough for him”:

He was good at sports and could join track-and-field team, consequently he would easily reach success at this sphere bearing in mind his abilities. Itadori had refused. We know that seemingly the main reason lay in his grandad whom Itadori had to visit. Personally, I don’t think this is the only cause. It appears he was the kind of person who didn’t like attention or crowds, or who was not vain, or who, despite the fact of being outwardly an extroverted type, preferred calm and quiet, or simply got used to loneliness, and many other “or”. Generally, it is important to point out this small detail and I want to skip ahead and have a look at this moment:

“I tend to get lonely”. Hence the cliché of Itadori being this sociable, hectic and active is ruined, don’t you think so?

This is kinda another proof of Itadori’s loneliness and lack of social interaction. He easily left a native town without looking back at people there. Grandad was the only important person that had sense at that place, so nothing could keep him from moving:

And let’s continue the thought about Wasuke. Later Itadori faces his first significant tragedy – grandpa’s death. I like thoughts from this article: “He is a 15 years old child who doesn’t really know how to deal with his grandpa’s death. Especially because he was the only person he had. He misinterprets his grandpa’s last words… Yuji in episode one is dealing with a huge loss. It is understandable that he holds to his grandpa’s last words, because those words are a motif to keep on going and frame of significance for him. Since everything happened so quickly, he wasn’t able to understand that his grandpa wanted him to have a happy life, to build ties with significant others, not to sacrifice his life…”

Here Itadori got the guideline that would lead him further and according to which he would be able to fight and go through other tragedies. Interestingly, I think Itadori and his grandpa were very similar in character. They both had preferred solitude, and only after close relative’s last words the boy decided to change his… um, life tactic (?) and became more out-going, made bonds with people around, although it's not in his nature.

I made an emphasis on the speed of events in the quote purposefully. In accordance with the article above Itadori didn’t have time to process the grandfather’s death properly, what is more subsequent events forced him to make decisions immediately. And it was like the two things overlapped. The motif: help people; the possibility to fulfill the motif: become Sukuna’s vessel and to be executed.

One more note I want to make is Itadori’s conclusion about proper and improper death. This was the second principle after “help people” that would rule his decisions. He clearly divided in his mind what were good and bad ways to die, being immensely affected by grandad’s death. Before starting sorcery career, the idea was accurate, motivational enough for him to take actions. It even involved his own life, or his death, to be exact. To die surrounded by people – this seemed something worth to strive for. Nonetheless, this very principle of “proper/improper death” would be reconsidered in the end of Junpei’s arc.

After “picking his hell”, Itadori clearly expressed his opinion about unfairness of the situation. He bravely and maturely took responsibilities, however, he didn’t really agree. After some time Itadori would change his mind and call into question the meaning of his own existence.

It’s pretty unclear whether Yuuji’s motivation was dictated by grandad’s “troublesome last request”, by his own life rules or by the mixture of the former and the latter. And then Itadori met Yaga Masamichi. Yaga briefly explained sorcery job and made Itadori think twice, form the motivation more structured. This was a vital thing for such a profession because the possession of a well-planned motif could help to simplify the chosen path. Finally, Itadori formulated his impulse to go further. Hence it's evident that he wasn’t ruled only by grandad’s last wish, but also by his personal traits of character:

The next chapters were basically introducing readers to a new character - Nobara. However, here you can also see one important thing. Itadori defeated his “natural” enemy for the first time as a shaman. He felt great, he was confident in himself, so far this profession did not cause him serious concerns. Itadori was still satisfied, his confidence in his abilities was beyond doubt. And this was point №3 that would undergo changes in the process of hero’s development.

Summing up:

Itadori under the influence of two intermixed motives (help people + not die alone) took his way. This character is interesting because most of his driving impulses will lose their power in the future. Yuuji is constantly "growing", gaining experience and knowledge, turning from a "green" kid with naive, black-and-white rules into a beaten by life person. And this dynamism of the character causes great attraction.