#I have no idea how this post made me lol one moment and then cry at the next

[theragethatisdesire]

scary dog privilege - best friend!eren x reader one-shot, 18+!!

hellooooo i have had this in my wips for like two entire months and i am giddy and ready to share it. this hopefully will just be a one-shot, but you guys know i love to create a universe for each of my erens so god only knows where we'll end up with this one. best friend eren appears to be my angstiest, broodiest one yet, and i love him lol. wanted to make some use of classic fanfic tropes, so here we get best friend eren and fake dating!! woohoo!!

beware: this is absolute, pure filth once you get into it lol

pairing: eren jaeger x afab reader

wc: 9.1k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, oral sex (fem!receiving), alcohol use, cussing, squirting, penetrative vaginal sex, swearing, use of names (baby, pretty baby, my girl), crying, multiple orgasms, eren being a menace per usual, jean's an asshole (i'm so sorry you guys know i love him but it had to happen)

have fun ;)

-

This is a terrible idea, and it had been from the start. You know it and so does he, but you had insisted. Now that you’ve made your bed, you have to lay in it, you suppose. You press your forehead to the cold, tinted window of Eren’s ridiculous muscle car, ignoring the vibrations from the rock music he’s blaring and the consistent fluttering in your stomach, and think back to your conversation earlier that week.

“Come on, Eren. It’s just one night!”

“And what about after? When you run into Sasha at the coffee place or Armin after work? Did we just suddenly ‘break up’?” Eren scoffs, pushing past you to grab a Red Bull out of the fridge. You collapse into one of the barstools in his kitchen, having prepared yourself to accept defeat from the moment you posed the question.

“I just can’t face him alone,” you sigh, “it’s only been four months and Sasha told me he’s hooked up with not one, not two, but three girls already. I haven’t even had a drunken makeout at the bar.”

“So? Just because Jean’s been whoring around doesn’t mean you have anything to prove.” Eren's tone is thoroughly unimpressed as he pops the tab to his energy drink.

“You’re my best friend. I just need one tiny favor.”

“Who would even believe us? It’s not like it’s a huge party- we know everyone going.”

You cock an eyebrow. “How many times have Annie and Mikasa tried to con us into a double date? Connie’s been teasing us for years, not to mention the waiter at lunch the other day–”

“Fine!”

“Fine?”

“Fine. I’ll be your date for one night. But all of the explaining is up to you. And,” Eren takes a sip, leveling a glare at you over the top of the can, “I’m going on the record as saying that this is a bad idea.”

He may be reckless, arrogant, and a bit of a brat, but if Eren Jaeger is one thing consistently, he was right. You chance a glance at your “date”. He’s in his typical uniform: black hoodie, black jeans, the little silver chain he never takes off, key swinging over his chest as he turns the car. He looks good, appealing even. If Jean dares to show up with a girl, she won’t consider you to have downgraded, that’s for sure.

You consider your own outfit, an anxious fist tightening in your stomach at the thought of seeing Jean for the first time as an ex. He would have hated it. Your nothing-to-the-imagination outfit is all thanks to Sasha.

You had clued Sasha in on the plan; you hoped having one more agent in on your secret would help sell the act. Sasha had gone all out, lending you an incredibly low-cut black top and some black leather pants that would have caused at least a twenty-minute argument with Jean. Had he not dumped you, you remind yourself bitterly. Sasha had insisted you borrow her all-black outfit to match Eren’s typical attire “just to be cute”. In hindsight, her enthusiasm about this whole situation should have been a red flag, but you’ve already gotten everything lined up, and it’s too late for regret.

It’s far too late for hindsight, too; you’re already ten minutes into receiving the official girlfriend treatment from Eren. He had worn you down on picking you up, opening the car door, the works. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled out a bouquet of roses at this point. You can hear his obnoxious tone now: Even if you’re my fake girlfriend, you’re getting the full package. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Eren parallel parks smoothly on Armin’s quiet street, unusually busy with the buzz of a house party and lined with your friends’ cars. It’s Connie’s birthday, but Armin always hosts. It’s an unspoken rule at this point; you aren’t sure why he keeps volunteering, especially after Sasha had projectile vomited all over his bathroom at the last get-together, but again, dig your own grave and lie in it. You and Armin are in the same boat there.

When the car switches off, Eren takes a moment to consider you, wrapping and unwrapping his long fingers around the steering wheel, a nervous tic he’s had since high school. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you sigh, reaching for the door handle. Before you can wrap your hand around it, Eren leans over and pinches you harshly on the thigh. “Ow!”

“I open the door, remember?” Eren says, visibly annoyed.

You roll your eyes at him.“Isn’t this a bit much?”

“You think I’m going to be caught dead letting my ‘girlfriend’ open her own door? I have a reputation to uphold.”

You decide to bite back a snippy comment about the many girls who cried over Eren in college and cross your arms over your chest, pouting instead. “Fine.”

If Eren can be dramatic, so can you.

As naturally as if he had done it a hundred times, Eren slings his arm over your shoulders on the walk up towards the door; the weight of it, both physically and mentally, is heavier than you’re willing to acknowledge. When you catch sight of Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie peering through the window, a flutter of nerves erupts your stomach; you reach a hand up to play with Eren’s fingers, absentmindedly spinning one of his rings and trying to sell the look as best you can. “We better pull this off.”

“It’ll be fine, just follow my lead.” Eren pulls you closer, kissing your hairline. Goosebumps rise all over your body; not at the action itself, but how disturbingly easy the affection seems to come to him. As Eren knocks on Armin’s bright red door, you pack that thought away and shove it to the back of your mind to collect dust.

“Hi…guys?” Armin’s friendly smile upon opening the door falters in confusion as he takes you in, absorbing the sight of you two intertwined on his doorstep. Armin’s wide, blue eyes flick between the two of you, and you can see the gears churning in his head, trying to make sense of how awfully close you and Eren are. Pitting your fake relationship against Armin’s intellect is the perfect first test; a nervous sweat breaks out under your skimpy outfit.

“Sup, ‘min?” Eren smiles back, the very picture of nonchalance, extending his free hand to shake Armin’s shoulder.

“Come on in.” Armin, ever polite, turns to allow for plenty of room for Eren to pull you inside. He doesn’t outright ask why Eren’s holding you, but his eyes betray his suspicions. It seems like your plan, as terrible as it is, is working. One down, a dozen or so to go.

Never dropping his arm from around your shoulders, Eren steers you into the living room where one of Connie’s favorite bands is already blasting from the speakers. Annie and Mikasa are curled up together in Armin’s recliner, hands interlocked as usual; Sasha and Connie are positioned at Armin’s bar cart, violently shaking two cocktail shakers apiece; Reiner, Bertholdt, Marco, and Jean are on the couch, arguing over something sports-related. With a sinking stomach, you notice that there’s only one unoccupied seat left in the room.

“My two favorite lovebirds!” Sasha cries, abandoning her cocktail shakers and rushing over to give you a hug. Upon Sasha’s impact, Eren drops his arm and grabs your hand that’s closest to him as a substitute, never taking his hands off of you. His actions are pointed, purposeful; every pair of eyes in the room looks between the two of you in surprise. You can practically feel a hazel-tinted laser beam burning a hole into your forehead. “You guys are so late; honeymoon phase gotcha already?”

“Laying it on a little thick, Sash,” you whisper into Sasha’s ear, cheeks burning. To your chagrin, Eren only curls his mouth in response.

“What?” Connie frowns, still shaking his drinks. “How long has that been a thing?”

You pause, your heart nearly stopping. You should have made up a story, you realize, something to explain–

“Just a few weeks.” The still-strange weight of Eren’s arm around your shoulder returns, and his jade eyes rest on you, adoration beaming through his always-cool gaze. Against your will, butterflies start dancing in your stomach; apparently Eren’s quite the actor.

“Yeah,” you jump in, grateful for Eren’s lead, “we just wanted to feel it out before we told everyone, that’s all.”

“Sasha knew.” Mikasa raises a suspicious eyebrow. Annie smirks at the two of you, a knowing look on her face.

“It’s about time.” Marco appears from the kitchen with a huge bowl of tortilla chips in one hand and salsa in the other. “Good for you guys.”

You can’t help yourself, finally meeting Jean’s eyes. He’s openly scowling at you, which is to be expected; where Eren is a criminally smooth liar, Jean wears his heart on his sleeve. You recognize that face all too well: anger to mask heartbreak, the same face he wore when you used to fight. For the first time, it occurs to you how cruel this plan might be, how Jean might react to you moving on with a mutual friend. Guilt washes over you, cold and heavy.

“Thanks for giving me a heads-up before you moved in on my fucking girlfriend, Jaeger,” Jean snips, taking a long swallow of his beer.

The guilt drops away from you as quickly as your jaw; you’ve forgotten what a prick Jean can be. Eren has been slowly guiding you over to the singular remaining seat throughout the conversation, and after Jean’s comment, he tugs you down firmly onto his lap. He rubs a large palm over your thigh, a blatant gesture of ownership.

“Not your girlfriend anymore, Kirschstein.” You can hear the distinct note of pride ringing through his voice, hear the nasty look leveled at Jean without turning to face him. It’s been fifteen minutes of fake dating, car ride included, and you can already feel the friendship line blurring. Your head spins.

“Anyway,” Armin, ever the gracious host, interrupts, breaking the awkward tension that has settled over the room, “what bar does everyone want to head out to later? Connie gets the first pick, being the birthday boy.”

The conversation in the room picks back up into a familial bickering over the evening’s next destination. All of your friends have become accustomed to the occasional awkward moment over the years now that some of you have begun to couple up; Mikasa and Annie especially are notorious for bickering like an old married couple, no matter who’s around.

“I need a drink,” you murmur to Eren, moving to stand.

“Do you mind getting me one, babe? Don’t want to lose our seat.” Eren pecks you on the cheek, smiling up at you as if everything about your situation right now is normal, natural for him. Jean’s eyes follow you every step of the way, and your face burns.

Over the years you’ve been friends with him, it’s never been lost on you that Eren’s attractive, not after the dozens of women he ran through in his college years. Peeking over your shoulder now, however, feels like you’re seeing him for the first time, seeing him the way the world sees him. Heavy-set dark brows frame his bright eyes beautifully, his jaw’s grown sharp and severe, and his lips are soft and pouty, stretching into a wicked smirk with sharp canines. He had grown into a heartbreaker, and he’s your best friend and now fake boyfriend– you swat away your private admiration as soon as it comes, taking a deep breath to center yourself and rifling through the bar cart in a daze.

“Want me to make you one?” Sasha waves a bright red concoction under your nose. “Connie and I made them- it has three different types of liquor in it, and you can’t taste any of it!”

One sip of the tiny cocktail straw has your nose wrinkling in disgust. You’ve worked behind a bar since the day you turned twenty-one, and the drink Sasha’s offering you tastes like an overly-syruped nightmare. “Um…no, that’s okay Sash. I’ll probably just stick to beer.”

Connie sticks his tongue out at you. “Boring!”

Predictably, Sasha pouts. “Okay, but we’re definitely making you take a shot. We can chill it in the kitchen, want to help me get some ice?”

Holding up a bottle of tequila, she cocks her head toward the kitchen and wobbles her eyebrows madly. You almost laugh; anyone who can’t pick up on a hint from Sasha is walking around with earplugs and their eyes closed.

“Fine. Let me just grab Eren a beer, and I’ll meet you in there.”

“Ugh, couples,” Connie rolls his eyes, wandering over to fiddle with the dusty karaoke machine that Armin claims broke years ago. You’ve always been dubious as to the truth of that, but knowing your friends, you can’t blame him.

Opening the cooler, you smile to yourself; Armin remembered your favorite IPA from the brewery down the road and stocked the cooler accordingly, nestling a few Hazy Daze’s between Reiner and Bertholdt’s domestics. You pick your way through the haphazard seating arrangements back over to Eren, holding a cold Budweiser bottle towards him. He pauses in his conversation with Reiner, grabbing your hand that holds the beer and removing it from your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips, brushing them over in a light kiss. He looks you up and down lecherously as he does it, a dangerous curve to his lips.

You return a weak half-smile, doing your best to not appear outwardly shaken by Eren’s behavior and keep the what the fuck? thoughts from showing plainly on your face. Eren waves you off to the kitchen with a light pat on your bottom, innocent as ever.

“How’s it going?” Sasha asks, safe now in the privacy of the kitchen. Her face is already full-flush with excitement and that awful cocktail she was sipping.

“I mean, it seems like everyone’s buying it. Jean looks pissed, though.”

“What were you expecting? He’s always thought Eren had a thing for you.”

“Everyone thinks Eren has a thing for me,” you roll your eyes, “at least it’s working in my favor now.”

Sasha fixes you with a glare, wobbling slightly. “If you don’t think Eren actually has a thing for you, you must be blind. Deaf, too.”

“Sasha–”

“I mean, even if you hadn’t told me, I would have fallen for it. Is it not, like, weird for you guys? That it’s just natural for you two to–” Sasha burps, interrupting herself, and giggles. “Just makes ya think.”

“Sasha!” Connie calls from the living room. “Let’s do Eye of the Tiger first!”

“Woo!” Sasha shouts, abandoning you and running into the room to take part in the newly-revived karaoke festivities.

You stand alone in the kitchen, shell-shocked by Sasha’s observations. The truly irritating thing is that she’s entirely right. Not only do Eren’s little kisses here and there, the constant touching, even the pet names come naturally, it almost feels…nice. It’s as easy for you to receive his affection as it is for him to give it. You peek around the corner, grimacing at Sasha and Connie’s amplified wailing, just wanting to look at him. Really look at him.

Kicked back, beer in hand and jacket thrown over the back of his chair, Eren oozes charisma. Even doing nothing but holding a conversation with Mikasa, the room gravitates around him. Jean’s angry glare never leaves him; Armin has switched to drinking Budweiser, even though you know he hates it; Annie’s nodding along with whatever Eren’s saying; even Sasha and Connie are angling their performance around him, alternating between singing together and holding their microphones towards him, trying to elicit a reaction. He has this undeniable magnetic force, one that you aren’t exempt from.

You’d met him nearly a decade ago, in high school, and initially couldn’t stand him. His hair-trigger temper had hardly cooled with age, and his ego had gotten unthinkably larger, but you grew to find both of them charming– to a degree. One thing led to another, and before you knew it, Eren was the one cleaning you up and getting you drunk after every bad breakup, introducing you to all of your favorite sports teams and lending you jerseys for the games; hell, he even read that smutty fairy fantasy series you’d been obsessed with in college. Had the man you attempted Star Wars marathons with until you both fell asleep really looked like that the entire time?

He catches your stare, beckoning you over with one long, crooked finger. As his girlfriend for the night, you have to obey, even though you would much rather roll your eyes at the cliche.

“Missed you,” he mumbles as you sit back on his lap, breath hot against the shell of your ear.

“You too,” you respond accordingly, wrapping your arm lovingly around his shoulder. Eren’s eyes flit down to your cleavage, but knowing him, it’s impossible to discern if it’s part of the act, or Eren being himself.

His hands rest comfortably over the casing of your pants, one on your thigh and one on the small of your back, one thumb rubbing circles into your soft flesh. Reveling in the drag of his rings over your clothed body, you couldn’t help but wonder how they’d feel on your bare skin, on your throat, on your–

Surprising yourself at the dirty direction of your thoughts, you swallow your beer too quickly, coughing. Eren, who had coincidentally been taking a sip at the same time, laughs at you mid-sip, choking beside you and spraying beer out of his nose.

The entire room bursts into laughter; Eren regains his composure and joins in good-naturedly. You giggle along, relief coursing over your body. Sure, Eren might look a little extra handsome tonight and be a bit touchy because you asked him to, but he’s still Eren.

“They’re practically in sync already.” Hitch, Marco’s girlfriend who had apparently joined the party while Sasha and you were in the kitchen, rests her face on her hand dreamily.

“It’s a little freaky,” Annie observes with narrowed eyes, but the slight curve of her lip betrays her. Not only were they believing your little farce, but they were happy for you. That’s enough to make you flush a little, realizing how naturally everyone’s just accepted your fake relationship. Everyone but one person, at least.

Jean suddenly stands, ripping a beer from the cooler and storming into the kitchen. The laughter dies as quickly as it had come, everyone exchanging nervous looks.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Eren offers, nudging you off of his lap. You blanch.

“Eren, I don’t know if you should-”

“It’s fine,” Eren drops a soft peck on your forehead, walking away before you can stop him. You meet Mikasa’s eyes, wide and concerned. To everyone else, Eren’s walking calmly, not a hint of aggression in his gait. But you know him, know him well enough to catch the anger simmering in his eyes, quiet, but there.

Jean and Eren have always been friends, albeit reluctant ones at first, but too similar where it counted not to get along. That had abruptly come to a halt when you had fallen for Jean. At first Eren had been confused, but over time that confusion had melted into constant irritation. Jean and you were wrong for one another, you know that in hindsight, but at the time, you had chalked all the fighting up to a passionate relationship. The constant tears had driven Eren nearly to a breaking point; multiple times you had begged him not to bring his frustration to physical blows. And now, your fake-boyfriend slash best friend and ex-boyfriend with the two worst tempers out of everyone you know are “talking”. You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek to keep the worry in your chest.

“Are you alright?” The question comes from Armin, who’s placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry that Jean isn’t taking the news well.”

“There’s no news,” Mikasa says low enough for none of the others to hear over the music, now standing directly behind Armin.

A neat little cross appears between Armin’s eyebrows. “They’re-”

“Faking,” she interrupts Armin, “they aren’t dating.”

Armin stammers, trying to correct her and apologize to you for her at the same time, but you just sigh. “How’d you know?”

“One of you would have told me,” she shrugs, “or at least I’d like to think you would.”

“It’s just…I couldn’t bear to show up alone, not with Jean here and apparently sleeping around since the breakup.” You cross your arms over your chest, grabbing your own shoulders tightly. It’s your fault, you know it is, but you had only wanted to feel a little less pathetic, a little less heartbroken. Drama had been an unfortunate and unexpected side effect.

“Why would Eren agree to that? It seems silly,” Armin muses, noticing your glare and immediately turning bright red, “I- I don’t mean you’re silly, just, you shouldn’t-”

“You know.” Mikasa bumps him. The slightest hint of a smile plays on her face, a knowing look directed at you. You frown, trying to look confused through the pink rising to your face.

A loud crash from the kitchen catches all of your attention, saving you from an uncomfortable line of conversation but making your heart beat that much faster. Dashing to the kitchen door, the entire house party hot on your heels, your thundering heart sinks.

Eren has Jean pinned up against Armin’s cabinets, forearm tight against the other man’s neck. Jean’s still seething at Eren, raw ego washing against the cool anger blazing in Eren’s eyes.

“Need to learn how to watch your fucking mouth, Kirschstein–”

“Eren!” Your voice is surprisingly firm, given the nauseating mixture of embarrassment, confusion, and panic swirling in your stomach. “Let him go!”

“Do you want to tell her what you said, or should I?” Eren hisses, nudging into Jean further. Jean’s eyes dart to you, back to Eren, and for a fleeting moment, you have hope that maybe this all can be resolved peacefully. And then Jean makes a fatal mistake.

He spits directly in Eren’s face.

Just as Eren swings, Reiner collides with the two, just barely catching Eren by his forearm before he can make contact with Jean’s cheek. Bertholdt, as always, is Reiner’s shadow, grabbing Eren by the shoulders and wrenching him away from Jean. It takes Connie, Reiner, Marco, and Bertholdt to restrain both of them, Armin standing in the middle and shouting how ridiculous the fight is above the curses.

“It’s my fucking birthday, Jean, come on bro!” Connie growls, pinning Jean to the cabinets with his back.

“Jaeger- back off!” Reiner manages to pull him back a few inches, hardly able to contain Eren, who’s struggling furiously, in his massive arms. Jean finally relents, slouching into the multiple arms holding him back. After several seconds, Eren does the same, never taking his eyes off of Jean. Into the shocked silence, Armin bravely speaks first.

“Maybe we should leave,” he suggests awkwardly, “take the party elsewhere.”

You pity him, poor Armin and his hosting inclination. Eren finally turns to face you. The wrath laid bare in his eyes sends a chill over your body.

“We are,” he spits, sparing Jean one last threatening glance before storming over, grabbing you harshly by the wrist, and practically dragging you towards the door.

“Eren, wait–” you try to reason with him and dig your heels in, but it’s fruitless. Eren’s strong, stronger than you, and you don’t stand a chance stopping him now that his mind’s made up.

He doesn’t drop the act at the car, ripping your car door open, waiting impatiently for you to step into your seat, and slamming the door behind you. As soon as he turns the ignition, the same angry rock music you had listened to on the way over blasts from the speakers; Eren makes no move to turn it down and neither do you. After so many years together, his temper rarely scares you anymore; it’s more of a nuisance than anything when it flares. You stare out of the window, seething with anger, arms crossed and foot tapping.

Five minutes into the drive, you realize Eren isn’t taking you to your house, but to his. What he’s thinking, you can’t be sure, but you go ahead and start making your plans to give him an earful and call your Uber the moment you get there. You just can’t wrap your mind around why he would attack Jean and embarrass you like that– Eren may have been a hothead, but rarely did he let his temper escalate to that degree, especially against a friend.

Eren whips his car into the driveway, parking with such force you nearly knock your head against the headrest. You reach for your door handle, ready to throw it open, but Eren’s faster. He hits the child lock button and slams his own door behind him, storming around the car.

“The fucking child lock button?” You leap out of your seat once he’s opened your door, glaring up at him with your fists curled by your sides. “Is that what I am, Eren, a child?”

“Come inside.” Eren’s voice is low, dangerous. You’re too angry to indulge his temper.

“No,” you snap, “I’m going home.”

No sooner have you pulled your phone out to call an Uber than Eren snatches it from you, sliding it into his pocket. He repeats himself, more forceful this time. “Come inside.”

You stand rooted to the spot for a beat, so angry you aren’t sure what you want to do more: run home, punch him, or kick his precious car headlight in. Eren simply glares down his strong nose at you, face unreadable as ever, rage still glittering in his eyes.

“Come inside, please,” Eren repeats himself again through gritted teeth. You decide you’ll indulge him and go inside, hear him out, and then punch him. At least it’ll catch him off guard, and you’ll have a better chance of getting your shot in. Without another word, you stomp up the walkway to his house, into the house, and into the kitchen, shoving your shoes off. Stupid fucking kitchens, you think to yourself, kicking your bare foot against the base of his kitchen island. Immature, but the little burst of violence feels good.

Whether Eren’s house smells like him or Eren smells like his house you’ve never been able to decide. The distinct scent of him envelops you: a boyish, sharp smell, laced with a hint of the weed he kept in the living room. Ordinarily it’s a comforting smell, but tonight, it nearly makes you sick with irritation. Fighting with Eren is something you do rarely, but you know the both of you well enough to buckle down. Arguing with Eren means you have a long, nasty, and emotionally gutting night ahead of you. You’re more than ready, fists shaking by your side.

“What the hell was that, Eren?”

He doesn’t answer, swinging the fridge open and grabbing a beer. He twists the top, tossing it aside carelessly and taking a healthy swig, bun bouncing on the back of his head, making no move to acknowledge your presence.

“Answer me!” Your voice rattles the cabinets. “Yeah, was the fake dating a stupid idea? Sure, fine, it was stupid, but starting a fucking fight with Jean on poor Connie’s birthday–”

“You didn’t hear what he said,” Eren says simply, still chugging his beer and avoiding your gaze.

“What could he have said to make you do that? What was so awful that you had to–”

“It was about you.” Eren finally brings his eyes to yours, staring you down through the little hairs that have escaped his bun with such intensity that it nearly knocks you clean on your ass.

Your heart stutters. “You– what did he say?”

“Told me if I wanted to taste your ‘slutty pussy’ so bad, I could just smell his breath. S’why he spit in my face.” Eren’s fingers wrap and unwrap around the beer bottle anxiously.

Your mouth drops agape, tears immediately springing to your eyes. No, you set your resolve, praying your body cooperates. “He…he said that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been fucking him?” Eren spares you another scalding look. Your temper flares at his anger, one fire against another.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Eren snaps, “this whole thing was your idea. What am I to you, just some toy you can dangle in front of your pussyboy ex boyfriend? How long have you been fucking him?”

“I haven’t been fucking him,” you hiss, “he lied because he was jealous. And you’re not some toy, you’re– you’re my best friend. I needed you.”

Eren freezes, eyeing you across the kitchen. His expression has changed, infinitesimally so, a pinch of the fury fading from his face but none of the heat. It strikes you that in the years you’ve known him, he’s never looked at you like this before, not once. “Say it again.”

“You’re my–”

“The other thing.”

“I needed you.”

“Again.”

“I needed– fuck, Eren, what is this? Some kind of game?”

He stalks toward you, silhouetted by the light behind him and looking sinful, closing you in. He’s forceful and shameless as he backs you into the counter, as quintessentially Eren as he can be. “Say it one more time.”

“I…needed you,” you indulge him, brain slowing down to pick up each little detail. His cologne– when did he start wearing cologne?– musky and thick in the air, one of his tattoos peeking above the collar of his shirt, the tangible sensation of emerald eyes dragging along every inch of you.

“I like the way you say that,” his tongue darts out, wetting his lips. You stare blatantly. His mouth is red, pouty, and full, bottom lip a little chapped from where he was chewing it in the car. “That you need me.”

Words are lost on you; even if you could gather something to say, it would probably get stuck in your throat the moment it materialized. His presence is choking you. He brings one of those massive hands up, cupping your jaw, running a thumb over your lip. His posture, looming over you, is demanding, almost hungry.

“Do you still?”

“Still?”

“Need me.”

You blink, eyes still watery. “How?”

“You’re a smart girl,” Eren murmurs, hot breath laced with beer fanning over your face, “you know. You’ve always known.”

You do know. When he ghosted a hand over your thighs at the bar, when you fell asleep on his chest watching a movie, the way he had kissed your head, nearly fought Jean, protected you at every twist and turn. You had kept it relegated to the recesses of your brain, slid a hand between your legs and allowed it to simmer to the surface, maybe for a moment, before pushing it back down. You had always known. He has you on the edge of a cliff, and with a thin gasp, you understand him now: he wants you to jump. And so do you.

“I still need you. Now.”

Something critical snaps in both of you. The countertop digs into your lower back, a beautiful, aching pain blooming up your spine to meet the sting of his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. He’s kissing you; this magnetic, maddening man is kissing you, hard. It’s all tongue and teeth, fingers wrapping in hair, hands exploring familiar places in a new way. Greedy, demanding sounds slip through his teeth as he paws at your clothes, squeezes your curves through the silken shirt Sasha had lent you.

“This shirt is ridiculous,” Eren pants into your mouth, “wish I wasn’t about to rip it off of you.”

A little whimper leaves your mouth at that, and your knees buckle. Eren catches you, grabbing you by your torso and lifting you up onto the kitchen counter; you use the extra height to wrap your legs around his hips. A groan from deep in Eren’s chest rumbles against your lips as he rolls his clothed cock insistently against you. The low, simmering heat in your stomach catches fire; he’s big, even through both of your pants, rubbing himself into where you need him most. A hand creeps up your neck, grabbing a fistful of hair and forcing you to look up at him. It hits you how large he is; six feet and some change of taut, corded muscle, bad intentions, temptation.

His voice is quiet and controlled, so close to your face that his nose moves against yours as he speaks. “I’m going to take you to my room. If that’s not okay with you, I need you to say it right now.”

You nod urgently, relishing the burn in your scalp where he holds your hair tight. “I want it- want you.”

Eren slides you off of the kitchen counter and holds you firmly around his waist, making a beeline for his room. You mouth at his neck, enjoying the little grunts he makes against your ear. You drop unceremoniously onto the bed, left to watch as he tears off his shirt.

Oh, and do you watch. It’s difficult to comprehend that your best friend is the man standing above you. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, but not like this: chest heaving, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, muscles flexing as he reaches for your shirt, ripping it from you and tossing it away. Your eyes draw towards the defined v leading down beneath his jeans, and you wonder how it might taste under your tongue.

Your bra comes next, Eren moving down to take your lips in his again as he deals with the clasp. He pushes you onto your back, kissing down your neck, sneaking harsh bites in between the gentle presses of his lips.

“Careful, Eren– you’ll leave marks,” you gasp, pulling at his hair.

“Good,” Eren replies against your neck, emphasizing his point with another deep bite to your neck, “you wanted everyone to think I was your little boyfriend, didn’t you? Let them see.” 

Your panties grow damp and hot against your core at that; you have no other response than to choke out a stunted moan.

“Fuck, you have no idea,” he growls, traveling down, teeth scraping the top of your breast, “what you do to me. How long I’ve wanted you.”

Your mind falters, caught in the crosswires of Eren’s confession and the way you’re clutching his head to your breasts, fingers desperately threaded in his dark hair and pulling him as close as you could get him. His mouth is so hot it burns, even against your feverish skin. 

“Remember…” Eren muses, mouthing his way down your stomach, “remember college? When you’d wear those slutty little dresses out?”

“I remember,” you breathe, impatient and urging him towards your lower half.

“Used to come home from the bar and jerk myself off, thinking about this sweet little cunt,” Eren tears your pants down your legs, panties following, “could practically see it in those short ass dresses. I’d cum thinking about how you’d sound when I stuck my tongue in it.”

A lewd whine rips out of your throat before you can stop it. Eren’s pressing your thighs open now, and his words and the quick little swipes he’s making across your clit are making you dizzy.

“Fuck…” Eren trails off, eyes wide, “got such a pretty pussy. Just look at you.”

“Eren, please,” you’ve never been the begging type, but the bright green eyes peering up at you from where your legs are propped open by broad, strong shoulders take your sense away.

“I’ve got you,” he shushes you, grinning as he leans into your center. A thick stripe of a lick up the center elicits a groan from you both. “So fucking sweet. Knew you would be.”

Eren hooks his arms around your legs, dragging you down the bed to be flush with his face. Eren’s no amateur when it comes to women, you know that, but you had never dared to let yourself imagine what that might translate to in practice.

He licks little figure-eights around your clit, not quite hitting it; he’s teasing you, the antagonist that he is. You tremble under him, little gasps and whimpers puffing out of your lips. Eren smiles contentedly against your pussy, nose flush with your clit, nudging against it rhythmically as he licks through your folds, circling your entrance. You bring your hands down your body, grabbing a fistful of dark hair and pulling him closer to you; you don’t even know what you want, the singular word more ringing in your head like a church bell.

Eren chuckles. “You need something?”

“Stop fucking with me,” you breathe, inwardly cringing at the desperation in your voice, laid bare for him to see. You brace yourself, looking down to meet his eyes, and instantly regret it. The anger has faded entirely from his face, replaced by an unyielding hunger. A wet, wicked smile plays at his mouth; you can physically feel your cunt dripping just at the sight of him.

“You want me to stop fucking with you?”

“Please, Eren, I need you–”

“That’s all you had to say.”

And then, like he does with everything else in his life, Eren licks into you like his life depends on it, like he’s trying to drown himself in you. His tongue pushes in and out of your hole, swirling around your clit, and you can distantly hear the most obscene sounds you’ve ever heard slipping from your mouth. He’s so good, better than you’ve had in years; you throw your head back against the bedspread, hardly able to focus on breathing.

Just when you think it can’t get any more intense, Eren slides one long finger inside of you, curling it against a spongy spot in your walls that makes you see stars. He chuckles at the loud, long moan that you let out.

“My girl likes being full, doesn’t she?” He pumps his finger slowly, testing your limits. Your walls clutch down on him, begging.

“M-more,” you stutter, barely able to form a coherent word through your panting.

“What was that?” You can hear the shit-eating grin on his face.

“I need– fuck– I need more.”

“Magic word?”

“Please, Eren, fuck!”

“Good, good girl,” he coos, pushing another finger into you, “so sweet and needy for me, yeah?”

Your eyes fly open at the stretch, the fullness of his fingers moving inside you. His other hand comes up to push on your lower stomach; your head snaps up, and you frown at him, panicked.

“W-what are you– oh,” you hate yourself for it, but you can’t even speak as he applies pressure onto your abdomen. You feel strange; it’s just right and too much all at once. The familiar bubble of an impending orgasm swells in the pit of your stomach, but it’s more intense, wetter than you’ve ever felt it. 

“Close?”

“Mhm,” you force out through gritted teeth. Eren moves his elbow slightly, just enough to bear down on your hip bone where you’re pushing your hips up towards him unwittingly. “But it- it feels weird…I, I can’t–”

“Sh,” he murmurs, mouth back against your clit, “you can do it, just for me, I know you can. It’s going to feel so good, you’ll see.”

Your eyes roll back in your head as you teeter on the precipice, blood roaring in your ears. You want to, you need to–

“Cum all over my fucking face baby, give it to me.”

The band in you snaps, your eyes rolling back into your head. You can feel your cunt spasming around his fingers, pushing something out. Liquid sprays from you, all over Eren’s face, soaking the sheets beneath you. You can’t even hear the lewd sounds coming out of your mouth, too surprised at the gushing orgasm. It finally winds down, and once you gather the energy, you shove insistently at his hand still pumping in and out of your sensitive pussy.

“You have the messiest little cunt,” Eren chuckles at you, wiping his face and kissing his way back up to your gasping mouth, “knew you were a squirter.”

He lands a few gentle taps against your sore pussy, and you flinch. 

“I–I’ve never…” you take a shaky breath in between every word, “never done that before.”

Pride illuminates his face. “Really? I knew you could do it– just for me, right?”

You nod, sitting up on trembling elbows. “Your cock, I– I want it in my mouth. Please let me.”

You reach down to fumble with the button of his jeans, but Eren grabs your wrist, pulling your hand up to kiss it gently. “Next time. I’d never forgive myself if I busted before I got to fuck you.”

Too overwhelmed to answer, you simply nod again, sitting back as he shimmies his pants off. Once you catch sight of it, your mouth waters. He’s big, bigger than you thought, wide enough to where your fingers wouldn’t touch if you grabbed it, and long enough to make you gag. The thought goes straight between your legs, cunt still throbbing and clutching around nothing, and a rush of anticipation washes over you.

Eren flips you over onto your stomach, shoving a couple of pillows underneath your hips to prop your ass up. “Christ,” he exhales, landing a sharp smack to your ass.

“Please, Eren- oh!” You jump; Eren’s circling your asshole, using the mess you’ve already made as lube to pop the tip of his thumb in. “Eren…”

“You’d let me fuck you there, one day, I bet,” he mutters, more to himself than to you, you think. Your body tenses in response, the memory of your first glance at his cock fresh in your mind. Eren swears under his breath. “Maybe next time, then.”

You hear him spit, hear the slick sounds of him lathering himself up. You have a brief moment to think to yourself, with the last glimmering shreds of consciousness in your orgasm-dazed mind, that this is Eren. This is your best friend, pinning you to the bed by the back of your neck, rubbing your lower back, admiring you, fucking you. And then the head of his cock is pressing into you, and that last little bit of hesitation gives way.

“Oh, baby,” Eren bends over you to growl in your ear, “never gonna forgive you for keeping this perfect pussy from me all these years.”

“Eren, it’s so– oh my god,” you trail off, eyes rolling back into your head as a few more inches of him sink into you. The way your body stretches for him, the way he fills you, is unbelievable, sweetened by just the slightest burning sensation.

“Fuck,” he hisses, pressing his forehead into the back of your neck, “you feel so fucking good. Best I’ve ever had.”

You whine at that, pushing your hips back into his and forcing him to bottom out. Eren swears against your skin, nearly collapsing on top of you. Your cunt pulses around him, desperately trying to hold him. You can hardly fathom the weight of him inside you; you’re just so full, the word runs through your mind on a loop.

And when he rolls his hips into yours– you nearly start praying. He drags against your walls so nicely, you nearly cum again then and there. He works up a torturously slow rhythm, grinding his hips into yours. You bite down hard on your bottom lip, trying your hardest to suppress the obscene groan about to leave your mouth. You taste blood.

“Never giving this pussy up,” Eren grunts above you, “never letting you give this to anybody else again. It’s mine, isn’t it?”

You nod into the pillow beneath your head, tears pricking at your eyes. He’s picking up the pace now, and the exquisite push-and-pull rhythm of Eren moving inside of you coupled with the fact that it’s Eren moving inside of you is destroying any semblance of intelligent conversation you can muster.

“Say it’s mine,” his face is beside yours now. A hand grabs your hair, turning your face towards him. You know how dazed you must look, mouth open in a permanent gasp, eyes watery and full of hearts. “God, you look fucking incredible. Say it.”

“My…my pussy is,” you swallow hard around the delicious knot of shame in your throat, “yours. It’s yours.”

“That’s my girl,” Eren sits back up, thrusting even faster, “my pussy, my girl. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you pant, canting your hips back against his, feeling your next orgasm approach embarrassingly fast. Eren understands, already knows your body as well as he knows you, and moves the angle of his hips just so to hit that spot he had found so quickly with his fingers earlier. You keen, drooling into the pillow, letting him fuck you stupid.

Eren shoves you over the edge for the second time that night. It’s toe curling, almost violent in nature, the way you cum around him, listening to him hiss as you tighten around him, vice-like. He fucks you through your orgasm for just long enough to see you through it, and flips you onto your back the moment you begin to twitch and shove at his hips, desperate for a break.

You slowly blink your eyes open in surprise, letting the tears roll down your cheeks, expecting to see Eren lining himself up, ready to fuck you senseless once more. Instead, he’s studying you, wiping a tear from your face, licking it off of his finger. There’s a moment happening here, an important one, one you don’t have the mental capacity to absorb right now.

“I want to see you now,” Eren says quietly, “need to see your pretty face when I cum, m’kay?”

You nod dumbly, not knowing how to respond to him in the thick air hanging between you. Before Eren can get any more words out of his open mouth, a loud ring startles you both.

Your phone is buzzing on the floor where it fell from Eren’s pocket; the name on the screen nearly stops your heart. Jean.

You stare into Eren’s eyes, a long, silent beat passes between you both. Your hazy mind is scrambling, grasping at anything you can say to take his mind off of the awkward interruption, but to your surprise, Eren cracks a grin. It’s a wicked grin, prettier than the devil himself and twice as evil.

“Your other boyfriend calling? Checking up on you?”

“He’s not my-”

“Better not be. Not after what I did to you tonight,” Eren’s voice drips with ego. Something in his eyes is territorial, carnal.

You find your words, but they come out quiet. “He’s not. Never again.”

Eren’s grin grows darker. He’s nudging your knees apart with his own, reaching down and pulling one of your legs to wrap around his waist. He’s pushing himself in now, the ringing of your phone fading into the background as the all-encompassing stretch of Eren inside you takes over your thoughts.

“Such a good girl,” he coos, thumbing at your bottom lip, “such a good mouth. Always telling me what I want to hear.”

You nod again, urgently this time, pulling your other leg up to hook them around his waist, hold him inside you, make sure he never leaves again. You’re addicted already; addicted to the pressure in your abdomen, addicted to the way his tip kisses your cervix, addicted to the taste of his sweat as you lick a strip of it from his face, cheekbone to temple.

“I…” you aren’t sure how to articulate how good it is, how good he is. A defeated laugh of your own making interrupts you. “You feel so fucking good. I feel so fucking good right now.”

“God, just look at you, all fucked out for me. You love it, don’t you?” Eren kisses your forehead, face to face with you after propping his elbows on either side of your face. “Love how I fuck you like a whore, don’t you? Tell me, baby.”

“I love it,” your voice is quivering, and you’re vaguely aware of tears streaming down your face. You’re overstimulated, you at least know that, but he just feels so good that asking him to stop seems more painful than letting him keep hammering into you.

“My pretty baby, you’re so fucking perfect,” Eren rambles, “so pretty when you cry for me.”

You can’t break away from his gaze, not through the tears or the rapid-fire speed of him fucking into you. Your legs are shaking so badly you can barely hold them up; Eren’s letting a flurry of little grunts and groans fly out, grabbing onto your cheek with one hand.

“Gonna cum soon,” he huffs, hips still pistoning into you hard enough to hurt, “gonna cum in your pussy, really make it mine, okay?”

“Okay,” you whimper, clamping down on him at the mere thought of it.

“Fuck, you like that don’t you?” He seethes against your forehead, thrusts beginning to falter. “You want to be mine? Want this pretty cunt stuffed full of my cum?”

You can feel him getting closer now, sloppy thrusts punching into your cervix, the ache of bruises forming on your inner thighs as he uses you, chasing his orgasm. You force your eyes open, meeting bright, hypnotizing green. Your voice is going to break, you know it, you hate it, you love him for it. “I– I want to be yours. P-please cum in me Eren, I need it.”

He slams into you one last time, holding his hips as tightly to yours as he can manage, cumming deep inside you with a breathless curse. You arch your back, relishing the feel of his cum in you, warm and filling. Even in your fucked-out mind, you know it’s a lot; you can feel the drip of it, seeping out around his cock and down onto the sheets. The leaden collapse of his body into yours, the gradual softening of him inside you, grounds you, pulling you down from the clouds and back into the bed.

It’s Eren on top of you, sweaty skin clinging to yours, his cum that you begged him for leaking out of your abused pussy. Your eyes shoot open. He’s incredibly heavy, your breath still coming out in short puffs as you try to catch it. He slides out of you; one last pitiful whimper leaving your lips as you find yourself empty.

“Holy shit,” Eren breathes out into the tension, a humorless and exhausted laugh punctuating his statement. As he rolls off of you, you’re overcome with the urge to smack him.

“That’s one way of putting it.” You scrounge around in the bed, trying to find the edge of the sheets to cover yourself with. Eren lays beside you, arm tossed over his eyes, as if the entire axis of your friendship hadn’t just flipped on its head. After a beat, you speak your mind, testing the waters. “I should probably call Jean back.”

That catches his attention. Eren sits up, scowling at you. “Why?”

“Maybe he wants to apologize.”

Eren snorts, rolling off of the bed and pulling you up with him, bridal-style; you aren’t sure where he’s taking you, but all the fight’s been fucked out of you, and you melt into his arms, eyes falling closed. “Who fucking cares?”

“I might,” you answer quietly, adjusting to the heat radiating off of his body. When your eyes open, you realize he’s carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up. Your heart thuds sadly in your chest, overcome with so many emotions you couldn’t begin to name them if you tried. You almost want to cry again, for a different reason now.

Eren sits you on the toilet, not responding to your small confession. He drops to his knees before you, reaches a long arm behind him over to the fixtures on his obscenely large bathtub, pushing the plug in and turning the water on. You draw your knees up to your chest, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. Satisfied with the water temperature, Eren turns back to you, one hand placed firmly on each of your kneecaps.

“You don’t need him,” he says, solemn as you’ve ever seen him, “and from what I saw tonight, you don’t even want him. You know that now, right?”

There’s something about the way he says it, a hidden thread of pleading woven into his words. Your exhausted brain holds onto that, but your heart refuses to believe in it, broken and beating wildly in your chest.

“I just–”

“I meant it, you know,” Eren avoids your direct gaze, eyes flitting over every feature on your face, “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Meant every word of it.”

You pause, wondering absentmindedly if he can hear the pounding of your pulse. “Really?”

“We don’t need to get into it now,” he shrugs, “but you know that. You know I’d do anything for you. You know I’d treat you well. ‘M not a bad guy.”

Your chest aches. “I know, but Eren–”

“So that wasn’t the best sex you’ve ever had in your life?” He fixes you with a singular, raised eyebrow, so serious that you giggle in his face.

“You might have me there.”

“Better than horseface?”

“Watch it.”

The light returns to his eyes; it loosens a hard little piece in your chest, flooding you with warmth. It hits you just how much you love that little sparkle amongst the green, just how much you would give to see it as often as you can. “We won’t talk about it, for now at least. I’ll get us cleaned up, and we can go watch–”

“Mamma Mia,” you blurt, hopeful.

“No fucking shot. But we can watch something else of your choosing, if you let me eat you out again.”

“Eren!” You smack his shoulder, scandalized. Both of you laugh; your fake outrage is twice as funny considering the state of you right now, smeared makeup and bruises on your neck.

He grins crookedly back at you. “That’s not a no.”

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

I wish I hated you

Summary: You never thought a family dinner would include the father of your children, but after you and Joel finally talk, things might slowly start to heal between the two of you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 3.9k

Rating: T

Warnings: angst, crying, talk about past shitty behaviour, more sorry's, beginning of moving on, feelings and their denial, more feelings, it's complicated cause these fools deep down love each other, food, regrets

A/N: It's been a while, but Part four is finally here. I was struggling with this but I finally have the idea for how to end this. One more part and we're done. Hope you enjoy this (and if not, don't tell me lol)

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

part four of invisible string

Life in Jackson quickly became your new normal, apart from the fact that he was here too. 

Leo and Ana were thriving, going to school every day. They learned to write and to read and to count and they were excited to tell you about every little thing they had learned in school every time you picked them up. 

You already had a big collection of pictures they painted in class all around the house too. 

You had been in Jackson for almost four months now. 

You brother, being the more open one of the two of you, already had made a lot of friends. He was a trusted part of the patrol group and went out at least twice per week.

He also was officially dating Lauren, the school teacher as of the week before. 

And you?

You were… okay.

After the first two weeks of living in Jackson you had started the working rotation to find out how you could provide something to the community and you had been happy to now be working at the kitchen every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch service at the community hall. 

Cooking had always been your happy place.

You hadn’t really made any friends. 

You were working with Carl, Andy and Lisa in the kitchen, and you were going to weekly dinners at Maria and Tommy’s place. 

You and Tommy had a long talk shortly after you arrived.

He had told you how sorry he was for everything that happened. He felt guilty for leaving out of the blue, without telling you, knowing how bad Joel had been back then. 

But you weren’t mad at him, and you told him that. 

It wasn’t his responsibility to stay back just because his brother did. Tommy had believed he would find something better when he left with the Fireflies. And even though it hadn’t worked out with them, his life still changed for the better. 

Leo and Ana were ecstatic to have a little cousin in Sammy. Of course you had to explain what cousin meant, which also meant that Tommy became Uncle Tommy. A title he took with pride. 

Life was good. 

As good as it could be with anyone doing their best to not mention the big elephant in the room. 

Joel.

You hadn’t seen him more for a couple of moments since the morning he came to pick up your brother. That did not mean you had not heard about him though. 

Your brother Calvin apparently had been paired with him out on patrol a couple of times and you were more than surprised when Calvin asked you how or if he should answer when Joel asked him questions about you and the twins. 

Apparently after the first couple of almost silent patrols out, Joel had to began to ask about you on the latest patrol. Something that surprised you, if you were honest. 

You really didn’t think Joel was thinking about you. Even though he told you he was still in love with you all those weeks ago. 

How was the man who said all those cruel words to you when you needed him most still in love with you?

And why hadn’t you been able to stop thinking about him ever since that first night you saw him again?

He had not only hurt you, he had broken you. Had blamed the whole pregnancy on you alone, as if he wasn’t the one who had fucked you and had came inside of you. 

You were always on the verge between angry, hurt and longing when it came to Joel and you had no fucking clue what to do about it. 

So, after taking some time to think about your brothers question over what to tell Joel when he asked about you, you took matters in your own hands and had made the decision to talk to the man in question yourself. 

You had asked Maria where you would be able to find him and she had told you that he was working on a house on the other side of town together with Tommy for the week. Apparently the girl, Ellie, wasn’t feeling too well and Joel did not want to be on patrol until she got better. 

So on a rainy day, after you got your kids to school, you found yourself walking towards the house Maria had told you. It was Tommy you saw first when you walked up the stairs, his eyes widening in surprise before he nodded his head up, silently telling you that Joel was upstairs. 

You were thankful that the house seemed to be empty apart from Joel who you could hear hammering upstairs. Taking a deep breath you pulled your soaked rain jacket off, hanging it on a doorhandles downstairs, before you walked up. 

He must have not heard you walk up the steps, his back turned towards you as he knelt on the floor, hammering some floor boards. You approached him quietly, leaning with your shoulder against the doorframe of the door he was working in. 

It gave you some time to look at him. 

Noticing the changes in his appearance in the last six years. 

It seemed to you that he aged quite a lot since the last time you saw him. There was a lot more grey in his hair than you remembered. 

When you looked at his hands you found him wearing his wedding ring. The one you had put on his fingers, the one that he hadn’t worn much when you were still together. 

You were more than surprised that he still had it. 

He stilled for a moment before his head turned towards you, as if he had sensed you standing there. Surprised he raised his eyebrows before he put the hammer down, pulling himself up to his feet with a groan, his joints popping. 

You continued to look at him, now noticing the deeper lines around his eyes. 

He seemed nervous as he looked at you. 

„Calving told me you have questions,“ you said after a while.

„I do,“ he said with a small nod. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

„So I know that you and the… that you are okay. That you don’t need anything,“ he said. 

„You did not care about me when you told me to get the fuck out of your life,“ you said before you could stop yourself. He visibly flinched, closing his eyes. 

„I should have never said that,“ he whispered, looking at the ground as he shook his head. 

„No, you shouldn’t,“ you agreed. 

For a while the only sound that could be heard was the rain outside. 

„I revisit that day every single day and I can’t understand why I said those things,“ he said all of the sudden, looking up at you. 

„I can not understand why I treated you like I did. And I am not talking just about that night. I am talking about the whole time. Every time I told you that you deserve better, I meant it. I wasn’t… I am not what you deserve. I am broken. Maybe that’s why I kept lashing out at you. To make you understand.“

„It’s because of Sarah,“ you said and you could hear him take a deep breath, his eyes closing. 

Only saying this name had him shouting at you in the past, but you weren’t afraid of his reaction now. 

„You push everything and everyone away because you feel like it was your fault that Sarah died. And so you push everyone and everything away that could potentially hurt you like Sarah’s death did without realising that it is you how is hurting you,“ you said. 

A tear slipped down his cheek. 

„They ask about you,“ you said and he furrowed his brows.

„They ask about their Dad. In the community before they did not have an actual school, but the kids got to hang out three times a week and every time friends of them were picked up by their father, they asked about where their Dad was,“ you sighed. 

„What did you tell them?“

„That their father was out and looking for a better world for us,“ you whispered, blinking your own tears away. You looked at him with a sad smile. 

„They look so much like you. They both have your eyes and your curly hair. And your stubbornness,“ you said the last part with a small smile. 

Joel chuckled. 

„I’m sorry for that,“ he said with a head shake. 

„Can’t wait for them to be teenagers. It’s gonna be a ride,“ you said. 

Joel sucked his bottom lip in before he spoke.

„If you need help then, or… anytime really… I have some experience with moody teenagers. Sarah was…,“ a small smile sneaked to his lips, „Sarah could easily bribed with food. My Tacos to be specific. And since Tommy found a Taco press and there’s a whole field of corn currently growing….“

„I’ll keep that in mind,“ you said softly. 

Tommy called for help from downstairs and you sucked your bottom lip in. 

Joel grabbed his toolbox.

„We have dinner at Tommy’s place every Thursday,“ you said as he turned towards you again. 

He nodded. 

„If you like, you and Ellie could join us tomorrow,“ you said, before your brain could talk you out of it. 

„Are you sure?“

You huffed a laugh. 

„Not really. If I’m honest I am terrified of getting hurt again, but I am also tired of running. There is still this part inside of me, that wants you. That is and probably always will be in love with you. But while I figure this part of my feelings out, you can get to know your kids, if you’d like,“ you said.

He nodded slowly. 

„I’d really like that.“

You had never been more thankful to have found a friend like Maria. 

After telling her that you had invited Joel over for Thursday night dinner, you had freaked out immediately. Maria knew everything. You had told her you whole history with Joel after she had shown up with a bottle of wine on your doorstep a couple of weeks after you had arrived and you had spilled your feelings after two glasses of wine. 

Knowing your whole history with Joel did not help Maria’s dislike of him in the least. She judged him for the things he had done to keep the people he loved safe. How he made Tommy participate. And even though you could have just let Maria rant about him and his ways, you found yourself defending him. 

Something Maria could not understand in the beginning. 

How you could defend a man who killed, tortured, robbed and hurt people without any consequences. A man who hurt you so baldy you fled across the country while being pregnant. 

And logically she was right. There was no sane reason why you should be defending him. 

Then again, falling for the man in the first place was probably not the most logic decision you made all those years back. 

You just did.

So here you were, a glass of wine in your left hand while you „helped“ Maria cook dinner. You could hear Leo and Ana in the living room as they played with Tommy. 

Usually your brother Calvin would be here too, but it was his girlfriend's birthday to day and they had plans.

„You ready to forgive him? Just like that?“ Maria asked. 

You shook your head. 

„This is not about that. He’s their father,“ you whispered the last sentence. 

„And no matter how much of an asshole he was to me, I don’t want to stand in the way of them having a relationship, if he wants to have one,“ you said.

„I think he wants the whole package,“ Maria said, stirring the soup she had made.

You raised one eyebrow. 

„Joel came over to help Tommy fix the roof last weekend, and he stayed for dinner and some drinks afterwards. I overhead them talk about you from upstairs,“ she said quietly. 

„He is pretty damn determinate to win you back. Said he never loved anyone as much as he does still love you and that he’ll spend the rest of his life worshipping you on his knees if you gave him another chance,“ Maria said. 

„He said that?“ You asked. She nodded. 

„They were already some beers deep into the conversation, but yeah. I had my doubts, I still have them. But I can’t deny that the man is in love with you. And he’s a great father to Ellie, even though it’s complicated between them at the moment.“

Before you could react there was a knock on the door and you felt yourself tense up. 

Maria gave you a warm smile. 

„Better get out there, before Tommy tells them who exactly Joel is,“ she said and your eyes widened before you walked towards the door. 

Joel had been nervous many many times in his life. 

But nothing seemed to compare to the moment he knocked on the door of his brothers house, knowing you and his two kids, the kids he never met before, were waiting behind it. 

He had spent almost twenty minutes trying to find an outfit for himself, like this was some kind of date. Which technically it was. It was a date to meet his children for the first time. And the first step to hopefully earning your trust and forgiveness. So when he saw his blue flannel, the only piece of clothing that had survived all the way from Boston, your favourite shirt on him, it felt like it was a sign. 

„So these kids really don’t know who you are?“ Ellie asked next to him. He was more than glad she had agreed to come with him tonight. Though Maria cooking her favourite dinner might have been the real reason she agreed. 

Things with Ellie were still tense. 

And that was another thing he was to blame for. 

He should have told her the truth from the beginning. Not that it would have made the whole situation about Ellie feeling like she lost her purpose better, but at least he wouldn’t have lied to her. 

Lying to protect the people he loved seemed to be a pattern in Joel’s life, that he needed to work on too. 

„They don’t. I don’t know if or when she will tell them. So please don’t mention it. I know you’re not my biggest fan at the moment, but those kids should not have to suffer because of it, okay?“ He asked. 

Ellie rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

„Won’t spill the beans, promise,“ she said.

The door opened and Tommy grinned at them. 

„Fancy seeing you here,“ he said, Sammy on his arm who already made grabby hands towards Joel. He found himself smiling at his little nephew before he reached over to take Sammy from Tommy. 

„Yeah, Yeah. I was promised food,“ Ellie grumbled, pushing past the men.

„Still a ray of sunshine, huh?“ Tommy teased, rubbing through Ellie’s hair and she slapped his hand away with a long groan.

Joel followed them inside, closing the door behind him, Sammy still on his arm. His hands were clammy as he heard Ellie introduce herself to Leo and Ana. Sammy looked up at Joel, putting one tiny hand on his cheek, making raspberry lips. Joel find himself smiling, the nervous flutter in his stomach dying down a little. 

„Hi,“ he heard your voice and he turned his head as you walked out of the kitchen towards him. You were wearing what looked like a oversized black sweater that went to the middle of your upper thighs and a leggings beneath it. You looked cozy and he wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and….

„Hey,“ he said, interrupting his train of thoughts.

„You want me to go in with you? Introduce you?“ You asked. He found himself nodding.

„I am gonna tell them that you are Joel’s brother. Nothing more right now, okay?“ You asked again and he nodded again. 

„Okay,“ you said before you turned away from him, but he reached for you before he even realised he was moving, catching you by surprise, as he carefully wrapped his hand around your wrist. He could hear you little gasp as you turned back to him, your eyes searching his. 

„You look beautiful,“ he whispered squeezing your wrist.

He watched as you took a deep breath, your eyes slipping close for just a moment before you opened them and gave him a small smile.

The combination of seeing Joel wear the shirt you had gifted him for Christmas in 2014 and seeing him hold Sammy in his arms was a little overwhelming. 

But that was nothing compared to your body reacting to his touch as he told you that you looked beautiful. You flushed so hard, you were sure you could melt snow if you stepped outside. 

It was various kinds of fascinating that he still had that effect on you. 

Taking a deep breath as you turned away from him you walked inside the living room where Ellie was already sitting between Ana and Leo who were explaining their rules of Monopoly to them. Tommy had found a lot of boardgames on patrol a while back and borrowed it for tonight. 

You did not think playing Monopoly was a perfect bonding experience (it was war really) but who were you to complain?

„You gonna play too Mommy?“ Ana asked as she saw you, giving you those big pleasing puppy eyes she had from her father. 

„After dinner. I promise. But we play the official rules and no cheating like the last time,“ you said with narrowed eyes and Leo giggled. 

„Hi Ellie,“ you smiled at her and she gave you a small wave before she looked back at the game.

You took a deep breath.

„Remember that I told you that there would be guests tonight? You already meet Ellie, and this is Joel. Tommy’s brother,“ you explained to them. 

They both said Hi to him and you looked behind you finding Joel’s watery eyes on them. 

„You gonna play with us after dinner too, Mr. Joel?“ Ana asked with hopeful eyes. The dimple that mirrored Joel’s showing on her cheek as she smiled.

Joel cleared his throat and you found yourself stepping closer to him, hesitantly taking his hand.

He looked at you and you gave him a small nod. 

„I’d love to.“

It was way past the twins bedtime when you finished the second round of Monopoly. Against your hesitations, no family war broke out and Maria declared herself the winner, much to the disappointment of Ellie. 

It only took you three hours to understand why Joel was so protective of the girl. She was funny, smart and took no shit from anyone. 

Ana and Leo had been sleeping on the couch for at least an hour when you were helping to clean up the table.

„Can we… do this again?“ Ellie asked hesitantly while Joel was helping his brother in the kitchen to dry the dishes. 

„We do this every Thursday. You are always welcome to join, Ellie,“ Maria said.

„Cool,“ she nodded and you smiled, before you looked towards the couch, wondering how you would get those two kids home. 

„You think Tommy could help me get Leo home?“ You asked Maria.

„Why? We live on the same street. Joel can help,“ Ellie said before Maria could answer. Maria chuckled.

„She’s right, you know?“ Maria said. 

„I always am,“ Ellie said as she walked towards the door, calling one loud bye into the house before she stepped outside. 

There was a part of you that did not want this evening to end. 

It really felt like you were a family. 

After dinner the kids had went right into their first round of Monopoly, Tommy and Joel joining them as you had helped Maria in the kitchen. 

All you thoughts about this evening being awkward disappeared as you had come back into the living room to find Leo sitting in Joel’s lap, both of them grinning and plotting against Tommy who had Ana on his lap. 

You knew that both of the kids were so much like Joel. But seeing Leo and Joel like that made you realise that he really was a Mini version of Joel.

It made you wonder how the last years could have been if things had went differently. 

But maybe he just wasn’t ready for it back then.

„Thank you for dinner, Maria,“ Joel said as he walked back into the living room. 

„Yes, Thank you for dinner Maria,“ Tommy grinned as he went over to her, kissing her softly. 

„Oh by the way Ellie volunteered you to carry Leo home,“ Maria said towards Joel who raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

„Is that so?“ He asked with a chuckle.

„You don’t have to though. I can go ask Calvin…“ you began but he shook his head, walking towards the couch and carefully picked up Leo who, as if sensing it, put his arms around his neck, continuing to sleep soundly. 

You gulped, giving both Tommy and Maria a nervous smile before you walked to the couch, picking Ana up. She snuggled against your neck. 

„Good night,“ Maria and Tommy whispered, following you down the hallway to their door. 

„Good night,“ you whispered back, taking a deep breath before you followed Joel. 

Ellie must have went home already, leaving the two of you alone on the short walk to your house. 

„I can’t believe I voluntarily gave all of this up because I was such a coward,“ Joel said quietly as you walked into your street. 

„They are pretty awesome huh?“ You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice as he answered:

„They are everything.“

Once you were at your house you guided him upstairs and into the twins room. He carefully put Leo into his bed before he walked out of the room as you undressed them and put them into their pyjamas. Giving both of them a forehead kiss you walked out of their room, closing the door behind you.

Joel was nowhere to be found so you walked back down, finding him sitting on the porch steps outside. It had started to rain again. 

When you approached him you could hear him sniffling, your heart breaking. 

„Why don’t you hate me?“ He asked as you sat down next to him. 

„I pushed you away. I pushed my wife away, the only woman I ever truly loved. I pushed you away because I was scared to loose you. How fucking stupid can a person be? Why am I like this? I lost everything and rightfully so and yet here you are, giving me a chance to meet the children who I wanted you to…“ he stopped himself. You could see him shaking as he cried, his head lowered, his face hidden behind his hands. 

Hesitantly you let your head fall on his shoulder, one of your hand coming to rest on his knee. 

„I wish I hated you,“ you whispered;

„But I just can’t stop loving you.“

[cringe-but-proud]

Hi! You must’ve JUST posted while I was searching a tag! WELCOME to the crowd of other amateur writers who have no idea what we’re doing!

I have a request for a short fanfic/drabble! Wonka 2023 where fem!reader is a storyteller who worked in the laundry room when Willy arrives. Reader is closer with Noodle and usually tells her bedtime stories before going to sleep, and Willy comes to admire the vast imagination in the stories while falling in love, to Noodle’s joy. I haven’t had the motivation to write in a long time, so I hope you’d be up to trying to get the story out of my head!

Hi! Thanks sm for the request. Hope I could do your idea justice lol

Willy Wonka x Storyteller!Fem!Reader (Wonka 2023)

Warnings: None, I think. Sort of just a cute fluffy one.

Three years ago, you made the worst and most unforgivable mistake of your life: Taking a shower at Ms. Scrubbit's hotel.

To make a fairly short story shorter, you neglected to read the small print, leading to you being in a massive debt to her. So, for the next 5 years of your life, you'd be forced to work in a dirty, old laundry room.

You were absolutely miserable at first. Your days dragged by and your nights were mostly spent curled up in your bed crying. But, once you accepted your situation, you found a way to make the days go by faster: Making up stories in your head while you worked.

You'd always had quite the creative mind; so, weaving tales of magic and wonder was a fun way to spend your time.

Plus, Noodle always liked to hear your stories before she went to sleep.

But, recently you'd earned another fan of your stories.

Willy was the newest person who was unfortunate enough to end up down here. And lately he'd started sitting at the desk in Noodle's room every night, tinkering with new chocolate recipes or practicing his reading and writing skills, while you told Noodle a bedtime story.

But, according to noodle, he was actually in there just to listen to you. Supposedly, the moment you left, he'd turn to noodle and the two would discuss whatever story you'd told that night.

If that was true, you were honored.

One night, Noodle and Willy snuck out of the laundry room to do who knows what. And a couple hours later, Noodle returned without Willy. She told you all about the adventure they had which apparently included milking a giraffe, flamingos, and a run in with the police.

Her recount of the night was entertaining, and you were glad she's had fun. But, you couldn't help but feel a bit worried for Willy. "So, what's gonna happen to Willy?" You asked. "Is he getting arrested?"

Noodle shook her head. "He told me he'd talk his way out of it." She said as she got into bed. She tilted her head at you. "Do you like him?"

"What?" You flushed.

"Like, do you wanna be his girlfriend?"

"I-" You were about to say no, but that wasn't entirely true. You admired him. He had a brilliant mind, and he was unbelievably handsome. "Okay, how about I tell you a story?"

"So, you do wanna be his girlfriend."

"Story is beginning now."

Later in the night, you were in your own room, about to settle in for bed when someone knocked at your door.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, getting up to open the door for whoever it was.

"Hey." Willy greeted. "Sorry if I woke you up." His hair looked wet which was strange, but you were more concerned with why he was at your door.

"Don't worry, I wasn't asleep. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was just wondering if... Uh, did you tell Noodle a story while I was gone?"

You nodded. "I did."

He seemed a little disheartened, which made you feel bad. "I'm sure noodle can retell you the story tomorrow." You offered, trying to lighten his mood.

"She could. But, the way you... I mean... You have a wonderful, imaginative, beautiful mind. And the way you tell your stories, it's amazing! You could read me a grocery list, and I'd be on the edge of my seat." He gushed.

You couldn't help but blush. "You think all of that?"

"Yes! How could I not?" He gave you an affectionate smile.

You returned him smile. "I mean... I could tell the story to you right now, if you want."

Willy thought about it. "It's alright. I think I can go without a story for one night." He said reassuringly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the offer, though."

He began to step away from your door, saying a quick goodnight before he began walking toward his room.

"Wait, Willy." He stopped and turned to you.

You walked up to him and kissed his cheek. Willy blushed. "What was that for?"

You shrugged. "To make up for the story you missed out on?" You offered.

Willy smiled and gave you a quick peck on the lips.

"What was that for?" You asked this time.

"Just cause I like you." He replied as he leaned in to kiss you again.

[k-zuzu]

Jeongin hard thoughts?

Imagine you and jeongin were having sex when he finished first so you ended up faking an orgasm. A few days later he overhears you telling a friend over the phone abt this. When you wake up next to him the next morning you find yourself tied to your headboard, unable to escape. You are completely naked and jeongin comes in. He eats you out and forces orgasm after orgasm out of you until you are crying and he is completely relentless. He finally let's up after your 15th orgasm and you are relived, until you see him take the vibrator from the drawer and turn it to the highest and holding it against your clit while he fucks you coaxing about 20 more orgasms leaving you feeling exhausted. He says he only did this to pay you back for the orgasm he owed you.

If you do this, could u pls tag me? <3333

스트레이키즈

yang jeongin 𖹭 afab!reader

what i owe you.

synopsis: an insecure jeongin wants nothing other than to make you feel good.

content: explicit sexual content (mdni), pwp, afab!female reader, established relationship, pet names (babe, baby, innie), dubious consent but it all works out, mentioned faked orgasm, yandere!jeongin if you put glasses and squint, they have a safeword but the reader doesn't use it, not proofread, lowercase intended.

explicit warnings: dom!jeongin, he is a little mean/aggressive but sweet and calm?, cunnilingus, fingering, edging, overstimulation, using a vibrator, bondage/eagle

zuzu's notes: highlow! sorry this took si long, it was in my drafts for awhile. idk if it's okay that i answered your ask or if you wanted me to just make a post and then tag you but... well, amazing ask, girliepop! i love the idea so much, but you made it sound conplwte idk what to add, i hope you enjoy anyway hehe. writing this kinda reminded me of seven by jungkook ft. latto, so maybe that's a song rec while reading this lol. ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

main masterlist.

"don't get me wrong, i love jeongin..."

i.n didn't intend to eavesdrop. he arrived home a few hours early to surprise you, but his curiosity piqued when he heard your soft voice when you were supposedly supposed to be the only one he would come home to. as he crept closer to the door of your shared bedroom, expecting the worst that he pushed to the back of his mind,

he knew that you were talking about him. he let out a breath of relief when he saw that you were on the phone. he wanted to know more but also he felt guilty for violating your privacy... it was your shared home anyway, he felt somewhat justified in his behavior.

"i guess he has been a little stressed lately and needed a quick release. i just had to fake mine,"

i.n's heart dropped to the pit of stomach. fake? he felt a gnawing sensation. as he listened closely, they prayed that you were referring to something else and not your intimate moments together. the uncertainty was weighing heavily on his mind and he felt a sense of insecurity about your pleasure. he wondered when else you would fake and he didn't realize. your words continued.

"otherwise... i don't know, he could have been embarrassed since he could always make me release before him... it's my first time having to fake it—"

without warning, i.n burst into the bedroom and loudly announced himself. "babe, i'm home!" he exclaimed, immediately capturing your attention. he proceeded to remove his shoulder bag and neatly comb his hair, all while putting on a convincing performance that he had just arrived.

"oh!" you exclaimed, hanging up the phone and rushing to put on your slippers and greeting i.n with a warm, loving hug that i.n struggled to return properly. "you're early, baby!" you said cheerily, planting a kiss on his cheek. "how was practice?"

"practice was a little tiring," he forced a smile. "i wanted to take you out to dinner."

"oh, really? let me get ready then—" you pulled away from him, looking around before heading toward the closet.

"ah, babe," he called out, following you into the bedroom and wrapped his arms around you from behind. "maybe after dinner, you'd wanna...?"

"oh," you paused. a bead of sweat dripped down i.n's forehead as he awaited your response. he felt a little nervous but he wanted to make up for your lost orgasm tonight until he heard your response; "maybe not tonight, baby." you smiled and patted his hand around you as you searched for an outfit.

"ah, okay, then..." i.n promptly removed his arms around your body and decided to wash up as well.

dinner went by quickly and quietly, probably like last night. i.n couldn't get the thought of your phone conversation out of his head and decided to plan something for the next morning.

"dinner was amazing, baby," you kissed his cheek as you opened the door to your apartment. "we haven't been able to eat out in weeks."

"that's why i wanted to surprise you..." he gave you a sweet smile.

the night ended peacefully, it was dark and quiet, the bedroom was well ventilated, and you were actually a bit chilly, so you cuddled up to i.n's broad form. curse you for being so cozy that night, you ended up having the deepest and best sleep of your life until you woke up to a sensation.

your eyes fluttered open and you look down to see i.n's head between your legs. slowly, your mind woke up along with your body and you grew alarmed, shutting your legs together, only to not. they were tied down to the foot of the bed, you tried to move your arms but they were tied to the end of the bed. "jeongin-" you rasped out.

he lifted his head from your legs, "oh, you're awake." he said blankly and wiped his bottop lip with his thumb as he sat up.

"what are you doing? untie me," you whined as your arms and legs struggled to escape the restrains.

"shh, baby, calm down..." he shuffled up, legs straddling your stomach as he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on your cheek, then your soft lips. he pulled away and stared into your eyes. "i'm simply making up for a lost orgasm the other night."

"babe, i have a meeting to get to,"

"tell them you're sick." he went back down and laid his tongue flatly on your clit, kitten licking it, earning a soft moan from you. "i'm sure you will be soon."

"baby, please-" you cried when he fit two of his thick fingers knuckle-deep effortlessly into your pussy, you were so wet from arousal and his saliva that he didn't struggle. he curled his fingers, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. "ah, baby-" you moaned out. fuck. he hadn't given you this type of attention in months, maybe it was okay to call in sick today. you were a bit overwhelmed and you could only move your hips against his hand.

"you like that?" i.n asked quietly as he watched your hips rock against his hand, eyes flickering to look at your already fucked out expression. "you must really like it..." he whispered and pulled his fingers out.

"innie!" you whined out, your disappointment was short-lived when he began lapping at your cunt again, sucking and eating you like there was no tomorrow. "don't stop like that..." you moaned, you could feel your climax building up as he sucked harshly on your clit and licked your hole. he let out a low moan as he felt your cum build up on his tongue.

"mmm, babe, you taste amazing. i can't believe i missed out on this for months..."

slowly, you caught your breath, but you felt his tongue on you again. "ah, innie, stop- i- can't..." you whined, moving your hips away from him.

"ah ah, quit moving, babe. i need to make you feel good." jeongin grabbed your hips in place and continued his job. you whined in his grasp, helpless. "if you really wanted to stop, you'd say the safeword, no?" he put his middle finger and began fingering you aggressively. you blubbered as you felt another orgasm building. "come on baby," he said, voice low as he quickened his pace, finger unrelenting, his thumb moved to rub your clit and you creamed around his finger.

"ah, baby... please..." you moaned out, eyes fluttering shut. you hadn't had to consecutive amazing orgasms forced out of you liked that before. "please..." you blubbered.

"please what?" jeongin asked, his finger began pumping inside you once more, this time he fit in his pointer and his ring, he pushed them in so deep you felt the cold silver of his rings against your folds. you whined out at the sensation. "please what baby?"

you were left speechless, your voice exhausted from the relentless stream of orgasms jeongin had wrung from you. his fingers continued to work their magic, adding another orgasm to your already impressive tally, he began to eat you out once more. and more. and more. this continued for about 10 times before he finally stopped, pulling away from your quivering pussy and sucking the evidence of your cum from his fingers.

"mhgh... baby, are you done now...?" you asked weakly, your voice barely audible. your eyes fluttered open as jeongin stood up and walked towards the bedside table, pulling out a vibrator with a wicked glint in his eye. your eyes widened.

you had a long day ahead of you.

[annwrites]

you're my girl and i'm your man

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: part of a series

— summary: you & billy go sight-seeing after you make up. he then teaches you how to drive his car a bit. afterward, you go back to the motel & have your first time (which doesn't go exactly as planned initially).

— tags: billy groveling a bit. billy being sweet on you again. billy letting someone else touch his car. billy being the first one to touch you.

— tw: eating, drinking, sex

— word count: 5,586

— a/n: ok, so, i know i put in the tire blowout post that they were right near the tx border & after '10 hrs of driving' they'd gotten into tx, which is like...did the boy get lost or what lol. but, we're going to ignore that (even if they'd eventually jumped on route 66, it still wouldn't have taken them that long) so they can have a lil daytrip in amarillo.

the 'first time' scene didn't have some big *mutual orgasm* moment bc i've had it planned longer than i did the rest of this chapter even. i wasn't abandoning the oral sex scene idea just to make things ~perfect~ like any other fic would've prob done. sex isn't always like that. it's messy, it's funny, it can be embarrassing. it's rarely like a movie. and that's ok, so long as it's with the person you love.

big texan | cadillac ranch

It'd not taken long, but you'd eventually cried yourself to sleep against Billy's chest. He'd held you all the while, whispering sweet nothings to you, rocking you, giving you soft kisses, promising over and over: never again.

He'd carried you to bed, pulling your body against his, and he'd closed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat, trying to focus on anything but all the shit he'd forced you to put up with today. He'd nearly lost you.

He had nearly lost you.

You'd been so close to walking out that door. Had made a plan of escape. He'd forced your hand.

He feels exhausted himself, but is now afraid to close his eyes. What if you did it? What you said you'd intended to: leave once he's fallen asleep.

He decides that there's nothing more he can do to stop you if that's what you choose. If you want to leave, he'll let you go. He can't keep you prisoner. All he wants is what's best for you. Whatever will bring you happiness and peace. That's what love is. Putting someone else's wants—needs—before your own.

Finally, he drifts off to sleep, hoping to return to his dream that'd been cut painfully short that morning. When everything was still perfect, just as it should've been.

Should've remained.

When you wake, it's nearly noon and you're in bed alone.

You sit up slowly, still somehow a bit tired, despite having slept so long and you rub your eyes, yawning.

"Morning, baby." You hear a deep familiar voice call a few feet away.

You turn and see Billy emerging from the bathroom, a gentle smile on his face. He comes over, sitting beside you on the bed. "You sleep okay?"

You nod lightly, yawning yet again. Crying usually did take it out of you.

You go to get up to begin getting your things together, until he takes your hand in his.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. I went ahead and paid up for another day."

"You did?"

He nods.

You look down to his large hand which rests overtop of yours. Your brows furrow. "What...what did you mean by it?" You can't just let it sit. You can't sit in unsurety.

He reaches up, tucking some hair behind your left ear. "What, baby?"

"'You're mine'."

"What do you think I meant?"

You shrug, not looking up.

He sighs. "That you're my girl and I'm your man. We're going together, going steady, dating, whatever the fuck you want to call it."

He says it quietly, no aggression, no irritation, just...calling it what it is.

Your eyes finally meet his then. "I assume you expect me to be faithful. Will you give me the same respect?"

He leans down, gently pressing his lips to yours. "Honey, I don't want anybody else."

You sigh. "You've been with more girls than I probably want to know about. And looked at—flirted with—numerous since we've been on the road-"

He chuckles. "I told you before, sweetheart, I did it to get under your skin. To be a dick." He smirks. "It's one of my specialties, I'd say."

You don't laugh or smile at the joke.

He understands. He knows it's going to take a lot of work and groveling and sucking up to get back to where you'd been the night before last.

"Do you want to lie back down, get some more rest?"

You glance up to him. "Will you lie down with me?"

"Of course."

Billy leaves his briefs on as he pulls you to his chest, your head resting atop it, your hand over one of his pectorals. He tangles the fingers of his right hand in your hair, gently rubbing your head, while the other rests overtop of your hand on his chest.

You lie there for a moment, listening to the steady strong beat of his heart. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get a watch," he replies immediately, his lip twitching. Maybe now wasn't the time for sarcasm, but he wanted to lighten the mood even a little.

You roll your eyes, even if it makes you feel the least bit better to be back to bantering.

"I have one, remember?"

"Mm," he hums his reply.

"Did...did it mean something to you? What we did the night before last?"

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. How the hell could he have let you go a whole day thinking otherwise? He had known when you came back out of that gas station that you'd been crying. Had wanted to wrap his car around a tree the worse his treatment toward you became. It killed him to do it, but he'd expected you to fight back like you always had. Instead, you'd just...given up.

"You have no idea what it meant to me, sweetheart. A lot. Before...whatever shit I did with a girl was just sex. Not intimacy. Things are different with you."

He turns on his side then and you do as well, looking at each other.

You reach forward, taking his left hand in yours. "When did you realize how you felt?"

You look up to him with innocent eyes.

He looks down to your small hand in his and he brushes his thumb along your knuckles. "I'm not really sure. I mean, I've felt something for awhile. But I told myself it was just an attraction. A crush. Nothing more. And then yesterday morning, I had this dream..." He trails off for a moment and you scoot a bit closer to him.

"What was the dream about?"

His eyes meet yours again. "We'd finally reached Cali and...we were making love in my car. You kept saying my name. I think I just heard you trying to wake me up. But I thought you were about to say it—those three words. I was practically begging you to. And then I woke up and I knew I was down bad. I didn't know what the fuck to do with that: being in love. So I did the only thing I knew how to and punished you for it. For making me fall for you. Even if that had never been your intention, it happened anyway. It was always going to, I think."

You gently press your palm against his chest, curling your fingers against the warm, tanned skin.

He continues. "Maybe I just woke up pissed off from it because I also thought that would be the only way for me to hear it: in my dreams. That you could never feel that way for me. That no one could."

You look up at him to find that he's already looking at you.

Your heart begins to beat just slightly faster. Then, "I love you, too."

His brows furrow and his eyes begin to grow a bit red.

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a firm embrace. He presses his lips to your hair. "Thank you," he mutters.

The two of you fall asleep for a couple more hours and when he wakes, you're sitting up, back against the headboard as you flip idly through the TV channels.

He slides his hand up your leg, between your legs and you look down at him.

"You hungry?" He asks, lying his head on your thigh. "I know I made keeping food down a bit...difficult yesterday." He thinks of you retching on the side of the interstate. How he'd nearly done the right thing by reaching out to you, but had refrained. Stupid.

He sits up then and you watch him.

You mute the TV, growing serious. "If you ever treat me like that again-"

"I won't-"

"Let me finish."

He stays quiet.

"If you ever treat me like again, it will be the last. I mean it this time. There will be no more forgiveness. No more second, third, and fourth chances. I will walk away. For good. I've probably already given you more chances than I should've."

He nods, knowing you indeed have. "I know." His eyes look into your own, hopeful. "So does that mean you do: forgive me?"

You unmute the TV. "I think it's going to take time."

He nods. "I understand." Then after a beat of silence, "Is there anything I can do?"

You toy with the remote in your hands. "I don't mind the sarcasm and joking around. But I need this, too."

He rests his head on your breasts, wrapping an arm around your waist. "I know. I just need you to be patient with me."

You roll your eyes toward the ceiling. "I've been nothing but, Billy."

He smirks. "I never promised that I'd make it easy on you."

Your stomach growls then and he chuckles, standing. He extends a hand toward you. "C'mon, I'll buy you lunch."

You have half-a-mind to be petty and ask about his comment of him 'no longer being your meal-ticket', but are so sick of fighting that you just slide your hand into his.

Billy had stopped at an interesting restaurant along Route 66, called 'The Big Texan', which was quite the attraction. The place was packed, with taxidermy lining the walls, and the interior was modeled after an old western saloon. You'd held tightly to his hand as the hostess led you to your table.

Billy had ordered himself a lager that they kept on-tap, while you'd ordered a glass of ice water, downing the thing almost instantly. The waitress had returned soon after to give you a refill and to take your orders. He'd ordered a ribeye while you'd gone with a fried sandwich. You'd considered a quesadilla, but didn't want anymore Mexican-style food. Not after yesterday.

You glance up to him once you're halfway through your sandwich. "Do...should I pay for this?" You ask, gesturing to your lunch.

He should've never said that to you. Honestly, after he had, he'd sat in the car pissed at himself for doing so. He liked taking care of you— knowing he was the first man to really do so. If he'd let you get yourself your own motel room... He doesn't want to think of everything he'd nearly lost, all due to his own selfishness...cowardice.

He brushes his leg against yours under the table. "No, baby, let me get the check. Let's just...go back to the way things were before yesterday. I know we can't just forget about it, but I want you to ignore all the shit I said. I didn't mean any of it. Okay?"

You nod, resting one of your feet over his boot. "Okay."

When you stand, ready to go up front, you see Billy turn back to the table and grab your water—for a quick drink, you assume—until you feel his hand slip under your shirt and an ice cube slides down your back.

"Oh! You son of a-" You shut your mouth as it slips onto the floor and a few curious eyes turn your way.

He shrugs, expression bored. "Thought you needed to cool off a little," he states, heading up front.

You grab two big cubes, praying they don't melt in your hands before you make it outside.

Once you have, you slip your hands down both the front and back of his jeans. His satisfied smirk is cut short when he hollers, wildly kicking his legs, trying to shake them out to no avail. "Oh, you're going to fuckin' pay for that," he says, picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder, smacking your ass.

Your head bobs, forehead nearly hitting his broad back. "Let me down!"

He spanks you again. "I don't think so. You've been a naughty girl and you're getting punished."

"You started it!"

"And now I'm finishing it," he says as his left hand comes up and yanks against your panties, tugging them down your legs. Oh God, you should've never worn a dress. But the heat here was nearly unbearable.

Your eyes go wide and you panic, worrying someone might see.

He slips them into his pocket, the skirt of your dress fluttering with each step he takes and you know your privates are on full-display.

He walks around to the side of the car, grabbing his leather jacket, and comes back around to the front, tossing it on the hood of the car. He finally sits you down—gently—on top of it, and he plants his palms on either side of you, leaning in for a kiss, one of his hands snaking between your spread legs.

You let him distract himself as you gently unbuckle his belt, and then pull it off of him in one swift motion, his pants falling.

You giggle as you watch him grab for them, yanking them back up.

He then looks at you with a raised brow, his palm extended to you. "C'mon, give it. You can take my clothes off later."

You go to hand it to him, then yank it back toward you, smiling.

His lip twitches. "Keep it up and I'll be putting you over my knee with it."

You give it to him then and watch as he slips it back through his belt loops again.

After pulling away from the restaurant, Billy looks at you, foot on the brake. "You want to go see some cars?"

You roll your head in his direction. "Do I, or do you?"

He puts on a pair of shades. "I think you'll like it," he says, accelerating, heading back toward the highway.

"What a fuckin' waste," Billy says, standing beside you.

You look up to him. "You were the one who wanted to come here."

"Who the hell sticks a goddamn Cadillac in the sand like that? You have any idea how much these things were once worth?"

You shrug, not particularly interested in that aspect of them. "I think it's neat."

He looks down to you. "Women. You would."

You walk around one of them, admiring other people's artwork. "Bite me."

"That an offer, honey?"

You walk over to another one, looking over the various shapes and swirls sprayed onto it. Then to the one next to it, glancing inside the cabin, but not much is to be found there. You wonder why someone would stick ten cars in the ground like this. Also wonder whether they harvested them for parts first. It would be a lot of wasted money, if not.

When you look up, Billy is three cars down, a black spray-paint can in one hand, while he holds his t-shirt over his mouth and nose with the other.

You walk over to him and watch as he finishes up his personal addition to one of the vehicle's doors: Billy ♡'s Y/N

He lowers his shirt, looking at you. "Think I could make it as an artist?"

You wrap your arms around his middle, lying your head against his chest, smiling softly. "Definitely not."

Once the two of you are back in the car, Billy slides his hand up your thigh, smirking at the feel of your heat, knowing your panties are still shoved in his pocket. "Where to now?"

You shrug. "We could go back to the motel?" In all honesty, you just wanted to be somewhere with AC again. The car has it, but he always wants the windows down, for whatever annoying reason.

He shakes his head. "I don't want us cooped up in there all damn day." He studies you for a moment. "You want me to finally teach you how to drive manual?"

You look to him with wide eyes. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You've got to learn some time."

"Maybe in an automatic."

He raises a brow. "Plan on ditching me for some city-slicker?"

"You're from California, Billy."

"That's neither here nor there," he states, turning the car over.

Once Billy's found an empty parking lot to start your training in, he gets out.

He walks around to your side, opening the door, leaning down to you and motioning with his hand for you to get out.

You stare up at him. "What if...what if I 'burn up the clutch' like you said? Or I nick the paint or-"

He brushes his knuckles over your cheek. "You won't hurt it, baby. I'll be right next to you the whole time."

You shift in your seat, really not wanting to do this. "Which do you love more? Me, or your car?"

"Don't push your luck. C'mon," he says, grabbing your hand, pulling you out.

Once you're in the driver's seat—Billy having already adjusted the seat so you could reach the pedals—and most certainly buckled in, you look nervously to Billy.

"This feels so fuckin' weird, being in the passenger seat in my own car," he mumbles, also buckling himself in. God forbid you panicked and laid on the throttle and smoked an electric pole.

He prays to God that doesn't happen.

He puts his left arm behind you. "Alright, press down on the clutch."

You glance down to the floor, then back up to him with a nervous smile.

"The one all the way to the left, honey."

You shove your foot down on the corresponding pedal.

"Now the middle one—that's the brake."

You let up on the clutch.

"No, keep your left foot on the clutch and your right one goes on the brake."

"Ok, sorry," you say, doing as he's instructed.

"Now, turn the key in the ignition while keeping your feet where they are."

With a slightly shaking hand, you do and the car roars to life.

He points to the shifter. "This car is a standard-h. There's only four gears. The 'r' stands for reverse."

You cock your head to the side. "I know that."

"Don't get smart with me right now." He continues. "Now, I want you to put it in first."

You do.

"Take your foot off the break slowly."

The car rolls forward only a few inches, then stops.

"Now, do the same with the clutch, also slowly. The car is going to start to roll. When it does, give it just a little bit of gas and please pay attention to where the hell you're pointing the front-end. Just...don't hit anything, alright?"

You slowly let up on the clutch, wheels rolling forward, and you grip the wheel tightly, sweat rolling down the back of your neck from nerves. You give the gas pedal a gentle tap and begin to drive slowly around the parking lot.

Billy glances to the speedometer. "Now, keep doing exactly as you are, but I want you to shift into second gear when you're ready. I want you staying around fifteen miles per hour for right now. You're going to take your foot off the gas and instead press down on the clutch again when you shift."

You press down on the clutch again, pulling the shifter back toward you.

"Good, now give it gas again and just drive around a bit like that. Just get a feel for it."

After less than an hour, you feel far more comfortable behind the wheel than when you'd started.

You were no pro—not like him—but you knew more now than you had.

"Think I'm readying to hit the interstate yet?" You ask, smiling to yourself, shifting.

He smirks. "That's likely," he replies sarcastically. "Alright, go ahead and park it."

You hit the brake a little too hard, causing the both of you to lurch forward.

Billy grabs the dash. "Jesus. Easy, killer. I said park it, not give me whiplash."

You blush, putting the car into first and shutting it off. "At least it was the brake I laid on and not the gas."

"No shit," he says chuckling, unbuckling himself.

He leans over the middle of the car then, pressing his lips to yours, his left hand gripping your headrest, his right slipping under your dress, feeling you up.

You moan against his lips and his tongue slips into your mouth, exploring.

He cups your breast, kneading it in his palm, erection pressing against his jeans...and he slams his head against the roof of the car.

He pulls away, cupping the back of his scalp. "Fuck's sake. I'm not supposed to be the one on top, anyway. Alright, time to switch seats, doll."

He gets out, walking around to the driver's side, opening the door, and you step out and he climbs back in, then grabs your hand, pulling you inside. It takes a bit of struggling and a few curse-words on both your ends, but eventually he gets you to straddle him. He then reclines the seat back and begins pushing your dress up.

Your hands come down to rest overtop of his. "I...I'm not ready to-"

He reaches up, cupping your cheek. "I know. There's still other things we can do if you want to keep...exploring, though," he says with a smirk, growing harder at the thought.

Your eyes flit between both of his, considering, thinking, then you speak. "Never again."

"Never again," he agrees easily, pushing your dress up and off your body, lying it in the passenger seat.

He grips your hips, pupils dilating, licking his lips as he takes in your naked form.

"Now, how the fuck am I supposed to behave myself when I know what you look like under your clothes now?" He looks into your eyes. "You realize that when we're alone in a room together, I'm not letting you wear clothes ever again?"

You tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, blushing, smiling slightly.

His eyes trail over your breasts, down your stomach, to between your legs. "You're so fucking beautiful," he says lowly.

Heat pools between your legs.

You reach down then and begin unbuttoning his shirt.

"I can't believe you're finally mine."

You look at him.

He reaches up, cupping your cheek with his right hand. "Can you tell me that, angel?"

You bring your hand up to rest over the back of his. You turn your head to gently kiss his palm. "I'm yours."

He maneuvers his shirt off of himself, tossing it over with your dress.

"What now?" You ask nervously.

As much as he wants to bury himself inside of you, he knows he has to wait. He just hopes not long. Not because he was necessarily eager to 'just get laid', but because he wanted to make you his in every way he knew how.

He folds his hands behind his head, staring up at you. "Maybe I just watch you." He shrugs, lifting his hips to get more comfortable, then settling back down against the seat. "I think just this once I'd be alright with being a spectator."

You blink down at him. "You really want to do this here...?"

He glances around the empty lot, then back to you. "Mhm."

You reach down tentatively between your legs, keeping your eyes on his own.

You begin to rub your clit, whimpering lightly at the pleasant feel. You lean back some and jolt when the horn honks.

You look at him, now embarrassed.

He smirks. "Keep going, baby."

You start up again, closing your eyes, your hand circling between your legs, your other gripping his shoulder tightly.

You sigh, running your fingers between your soaked folds, then circling your clit again with your own self-made lubricant.

Billy suddenly inclines the seat again, wrapping his arms around you, taking one of your breasts in his mouth, his hands sliding down to your ass, squeezing.

Your hips jerk, and you settle again, wrapping one arm around his neck, craning your neck down, pressing your lips to his.

He moves his lips to your neck, your clavicle, your breasts, then back up again, sucking on the sensitive skin until you have a hicky.

You sigh his name and he brushes some hair away from your face. "That's it, darlin'. Just like that."

You press your lips to his, hips jerking yet again and you gasp against his lips.

"Shh, I know. You're close, aren't you, sweetheart?"

You nod, crushing your lips back to his, a low mewling sound coming from the back of your throat.

Your fingers begin to circle faster and faster, slipping between your legs, then back to your clit, your breaths coming in short, shallow gasps, you even accidentally bite Billy's lower lip at one point, but he just moans at the feeling.

"Fuck, do that again."

You do, gently biting down, then running your tongue over the now-sensitive spot, kissing him again and again.

And then, finally, you arch your back, crying out in euphoria, that bundle between your legs jerking under your fingers, pulsating.

You press your forehead to his shoulder, softly crying his name.

He slides his hands up your back, your skin slick with sweat, before cupping your cheeks in his hands, forcing you to look at him, your expression now serene, if not a bit sleepy.

"You're lucky I didn't finish in my fucking jeans just now."

You laugh.

When you get back to the room, Billy glances to you with a smirk as he unlocks the door.

"You do know driving my car isn't the only thing I'm going to be teaching you, right?"

"You're such a perv."

He balks, dramatically placing his hand over his heart as he pushes the door open, arm holding it for you. "I was talking about teaching you to surf. Now whose mind is in the gutter?"

You bite your lip as you step past him, now embarrassed.

And then he slaps your ass as he shuts the door behind himself. "Seems I'm starting to finally rub off on you, huh?"

You're very thorough as you shower, well and truly taking your time scrubbing every inch of yourself, shaving your legs and armpits, and giving yourself only a small trim downstairs. Once clean, you stand before the mirror, blow-drying your hair, then teasing it just as you had the other day. He'd liked when you did that.

You ignore your pounding heart and sweaty palms to the best of your ability. Maybe it's too soon. Maybe you should continue to wait. Maybe it'll be a mistake.

Or maybe, like Billy had said a few nights ago, that 'mistake' could turn out to be one of the best things you've ever done.

When you exit the bathroom, it's in nothing more than a towel and Billy glances from the TV to you with a smirk, the arm down at his side holding the remote, other arm across his forehead. "Guess I found something more interesting to watch," he says, turning it off.

You shift from one foot to the other. "Do... You said you have condoms, right?"

He stares at you for just a moment longer, then sits up suddenly. "What?"

You grip the towel more tightly. "I think I'm ready."

"In the car you said-"

"I know," you say quietly. "I...I kind of wanted to the other night. And in the car. I don't know what I'm waiting for, really. I always said I wanted to fall in love first and now I have, so..."

You trail off, glancing down to the carpet, then back up to him, finding him now seated on the edge of the bed.

He stands, coming over to you.

You look up at him and soften when he cups your cheek. "Are you sure about this?"

You nod.

He studies you for a moment longer, and then he steps over to his bag, unzipping a side pocket, removing a small, square, silver wrapper.

Hands trembling slightly, you drop your towel to the floor, thankful the curtains are already shut, only a small fraction of light streamlines across the bed which you lie down on, waiting for him.

You watch as he undresses and you can't help but think he, too, looks just a bit nervous. You wonder if he's ever been that before with a girl.

You don't ask.

He tears the wrapper open with his teeth, then rolls the condom over his already-hard length and walks over to you, crawling on top of you.

You spread your legs, letting him between them. You reach up, cupping his cheek and his gaze softens.

You feel his erection brush against your inner thigh.

"I know you said you were sure-"

"I am," you say, lifting your head, pressing your lips to his.

He then reaches between your thighs, ensuring you're already wet. And his fingers come away soaked.

You keep your arms wrapped around his neck as he rubs the tip of himself against you, then slowly begins to ease inside.

It pinches for a moment, rather painfully, and you bite your lip at the feeling, but once he's past that threshold and buried in your sweet wetness, it feels...wonderful.

When you look up at him, it hits you all at once. How just over a week ago you'd been sitting in class absolutely hating his existence, his very presence, and now here you were, completely in love with him. His heart had belonged to you all along.

You wonder if he would've run away with anyone else—would've made such a quick split-second decision to leave it all behind, with only you at his side. Would've protected, and provided for, and looked after, and chased down another like had you.

You were it for him, and it's in that moment of you looking up at him, into his eyes—tears shimmering in them—your bodies joined together as one, that you know he is for you, too.

"You're mine," he whispers, voice husky, quiet.

He begins to gently rock his hips against your own.

"Yes," you sigh, lifting a leg onto his strong back.

"I'll never love anyone else the way I love you, not after everything we've been through. Only we understand each other. No one else ever could—will. You're mine. Forever."

You nod, a tear slipping down the side of your face. "Forever."

When Billy finishes, he's unsure that he's ever felt so happy in his entire life. The only thing that could compare was the feeling of the ocean under his feet.

Finding you was finding the missing part of him—a piece of a puzzle he hadn't even been aware he was trying to solve, falling into place, squarely into his heart. Slowly, you were mending him back into one completeness of a man.

He lays on his side, looking down at you, smiling. "So, did you, uh..." He trails off, nodding lightly.

You reach up, brushing a curl away, smiling slightly, but he can tell something isn't right.

"Not...really."

His brows furrow.

"No?"

You shake your head lightly. It wasn't his fault. Sometimes things just took a bit more effort for a girl, right? "No."

He lays on his back, wondering what the hell he'd done wrong.

Admittedly, he'd finished a bit more quickly than what was typical for him.

"Alright, just give me a minute," he says, closing his eyes, trying to concentrate.

You lie beside him, looking over at his naked body. "It's okay. I can just-"

His eyes open. "No, I want to be the one to do it."

You grow quiet.

He then sits up. "Fuck this, we'll do it another way, then."

He kneels at the end of the bed, gripping your hips, pulling you toward him.

You sit back on your forearms, looking down at him. "Billy, what're you-"

You lay back down again. "Oh God," you said breathily as his hot mouth lowers onto your sex.

He eases your legs over his shoulders, flicking his tongue against your clit, then spearing it, fucking you with it.

You grip the sheets beneath you, arching your back at the amazing feeling.

He eases two fingers inside you, arching them upward just like the other night—since you'd seemed to enjoy that so much—and he continues to suck against your clit, bothering to even trace the alphabet along it.

You close your eyes, brows furrowed, skin hot, nipples hard as your back arches atop the soft mattress.

He gently grips one of your hips with his free hand, then reaches up, twining his fingers with your own.

"Ah, I love you," you say in a whisper, squeezing his hand.

He plants a few kisses to your pussy in reply. "I love you, too, baby." He then goes back to teasing that sensitive nerve bundle with his experienced tongue.

Your thighs tighten around his head and he knows you're close.

He traces his name with his tongue, and just as he's halfway through 'Hargrove' do your eyes pop open, your back arching, your hand squeezing his fingers so hard he's sure you might just break one as you scream his name as you climax. He really fucking hopes the people staying next to you heard every second of it.

As you come back down, head light and swimming, he stands, quickly throwing away the ruined condom, putting on a fresh one.

Your body is still twitching and sensitive when he looks down at you with a smirk. "So, did you cum that time?"

"Y-yes."

He positions himself between your still-spread legs. "Good, because I'm ready again."

Before you can even react and ask for a few seconds to catch your bearings, he sheathes himself.

"You're going to fucking cum this time."

[peachhcs]

love is never logical

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

when will decides he wants to sign on with the sharks he quickly becomes scared of the distance. everything changes when will breaks up with samy thinking it's for their own good

2.5k words

warnings: angst, crying, breakup, will being insecure about his relationship and his boyfriend abilities

y'all, you knew this one was immediately coming. samy and will's breakup era has begun! stay tuned to more of this era that i have ahead which is full of angst (but i will still write happy samy and will in between these posts if people request or if i'm feeling happy lol) will signing to the sharks so soon feels crazy

au masterlist

something in will’s mind has been swimming nonstop since he returned from worlds. nothing yet everything made sense and the hockey player nearly wanted to throw up because of it all. the food offerings from his mom kept getting rejected because putting food in his body would most definitely come back up five minutes later. he’s never been so nauseous before, but the things running through his brain caused everything to spiral. 

with his knees pulled to his chest, will sat out on the back steps of his house, face buried in his arms trying to set his brain right. the back door slid open and soft footsteps filled the dull silence all the way to where the boy perched himself. 

“hey, you okay? i’ve been looking all over for you,” samy’s gentle voice filled his ears. when will didn’t meet her gaze, she slid in beside him with a soft hand falling across his back. 

“will?” 

he knew she’d be happy for him. she was going to be ecstatic once she found out, but that was what will hated. 

he was going all the way across the country, leaving his friends and family behind, and no matter how hurt samy might be, she would still be happy for him. because that’s who she was and will knew that, but he just couldn’t stomach the idea that he was leaving her after not even dating for a whole year yet. 

he was going to be across the entire country from her. how was he supposed to be her boyfriend being that far away? michigan and boston were way different from michigan and california. 

all of this sent poor will into a spiral he felt like he was being sucked into. 

“will, talk to me. are you okay?” samy spoke again when she continued getting no responses. 

he finally met her gaze. her eyes were soft with worry that something was seriously wrong and that alone made will want to sink away. when samy saw her boyfriend’s expression her worry deepend. she’d never seen him look like that before. 

“i’m signing,” the boy finally managed in a near whisper. 

a beat of silence passed through the couple as samy processed his words and will anxiously awaited her reaction. 

“you’re gonna sign on with the sharks?” samy asked just to clarify what he was trying to tell her. 

the blonde nodded, his eyes searching hers furiously like she was going to explode at him or something (even though he knew she wouldn’t). 

“like now?” the girl continued with her questions just to make sure she was getting everything correct. 

“in two days, i’m signing,” will said. 

another beat of silence passed between them before samy’s features morphed into what looked like pure happiness. she tackled will into a large hug that almost sent both of them flying off the porch. 

“i’m so happy for you! congratulations! this is so big. when did you decide?” her lips beamed into a smile that made the blonde feel even guiltier. 

“i knew before going to worlds. probably since like the end of the season,” will’s mind has been on signing since the end of the college season. he always knew what the choice was even when he said he didn’t know yet. 

“wow, this is big. i’m really proud of you,” samy rubbed his arm with the large smile still on her face. he studied her face as if he was looking for the disappointment, but it wasn’t there. just pure happiness for him. 

will sat in silence for a moment wondering if he should really do this. he’d been rolling over the idea for days since he got back from worlds knowing what was coming. it’ll be better this way. that’s what he kept telling himself in hopes that he’d believe it. 

in his mind, samy deserved someone who could be there for her all the time. not a guy who was away all the time and couldn’t ever show up for her things because hockey took up all of his time. 

he knew samy didn’t care, but it wasn’t fair to her that she went to his things and he couldn’t even be there for her. she deserved someone a lot better than what he could give. 

“you don’t seem as happy about this,” samy commented after sitting in will’s silence. all of her attention was on him and she knew there was something on his mind just based on the way he curled in on himself. 

“no, no, i am. i just.. i need to talk to you about something,” the boy began knowing that if he didn’t say this now, he never would. 

“okay,” the girl shifted, but she kept her gaze on her boyfriend. 

“i don’t..i don’t know if i can do long distance anymore,” will spit it all out in one go. saying it made him grimace as he watched the smile fall from samy’s lips. 

“w-what?” 

“i don’t think we should like..be together anymore,” he couldn’t go back now. not when he already said it. 

“wait, i’m confused. are you–are you saying we should break up?” the way samy drew away from him broke will’s heart, but he kept his composure. 

“i just..i just don’t know how easy it will be with me in california and you in michigan. it’s way different than michigan and boston,” he watched all of the color drain from her face and for a moment will knew he shouldn’t have done this, but he couldn’t go back. 

plus, if kept telling himself it was better for both of them, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. 

“i-i don’t understand. distance has never been an issue for us. now it is?” 

“i’m gonna be all the way in california, samy. it’s not just a two week development camp anymore. that’s my life now. i-i can’t be the boyfriend you need me and want me to be all the way in california,” will shook his head, avoiding eye contact because if he looked at her, he’d break. 

“will, it’s not..i’ve never thought you were a bad boyfriend while you were in boston. it’s not gonna change,” samy tried, but he wasn’t gonna let her through. 

“but it will. everything’s gonna change, samy. we probably won’t be able to see one another until..fucking summer. that’s not a relationship. i-i can’t do that to you or me,” will argued back as the youngest hughes’ face fell. 

“so you’re saying this isn’t worth it to you anymore? i’m not worth it to you to do long distance?” she drew back almost completely, face becoming hard. 

will looked at her since the first time he started this. the expression on her face broke him, but he wouldn’t let his tears fall. not like this in front of her. 

“yeah. i can’t..i can’t be in a relationship when i only get to see you for three months in the summer. it was hard enough this past year,” will mumbled as he looked away again. 

a large tension-filled silence swirled between them. samy studied the blonde, her best friend, for a long time wondering if he was actually being serious becaus she really couldn’t believe it. 

“so everything that happened between us—the facetime calls, the dates, all of it meant nothing to you? absolutely nothing?” 

will’s jaw clenched. of course it meant everything to him, but he couldn’t string samy along like this with him. he had to let her go for the sake of both of them. 

“yeah.” 

“fuck you. i never wanna see you again. enjoy your new fucking life in california,” samy stormed back inside before will could say anything else. 

as soon as the door slammed shut, the tears in the blonde’s eyes started falling. he buried his head back into his arms and now he really felt like throwing up. 

it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. 

if he kept saying that, maybe it’d make everything in his heart stop hurting so much. 

he heard voices inside and then there was a door and then there was the sound of a car starting. the next time the back door opened, grace rushed out towards her brother when she saw him curled up on the step. 

“will! what happened? samy’s leaving,” she rushed to his side. 

“i know,” the boy said through his cries. 

“what happened? did something happen?” she grew worried for her brother who she’s rarely seen cry. 

“i broke up with her,” will said and now it was grace’s face to fall. 

“what? why? i thought you guys were doing good?” the older smith sibling frowned. she knew how much her brother and samy liked one another, so she didn’t get what could make them breakup. 

“i-i just couldn’t do it with us being so far away. i mean she doesn’t deserve a boyfriend who’s only half there for her. i can’t be there for her,” will shook in his head still in tears. 

“oh, will. come here,” grace pulled him into her arms and that’s when the boy began sobbing. 

— 

samy pulled into ryan’s driveway at almost 11. after rushing out of will’s, the first place she thought to go was ryan’s even if the drive was an hour and a half long. she just couldn’t be at that house anymore. 

the girl stumbled her way to the front door where she rang the doorbell and shivered from the cool breeze blowing through the air. the heavy wood swung open a moment later to a very confused ryan when he saw samy. 

“samy? what are you—” he cut himself off when he saw her puffy cheeks and teary eyes. “what happened? are you okay?” when his voice softened samy lost it again as her tears restarted. 

she fell into the boy’s arms in sobs. ryan, who still didn’t understand what was happening, drew his arms around her small frame in a tight hug. he glanced behind his shoulder to julianne who stood a few feet away, concern also written on her features. 

“talk to me, hughesy. what happened?” ryan tried again as he pulled the girl back. 

“will broke up with me.” 

ryan’s eyes widened at the revelation. he looked back at his girlfriend again who looked equally surprised. 

“what?” 

after that, ryan urged the poor girl in before she got even colder. julianne quickly wrapped samy into a blanket as she sat her down on the couch. her cries turned into little whimpers as samy attempted to compose herself. 

“i’m sorry, i should’ve told you i was coming. i was just so.. so lost. i don’t know,” the brunette mumbled out a weak apology, but ryan shook his head. 

“stop, don’t apologize. why did he break up with you?” ryan urged, knowing he was going to call will as soon as samy explained what happened. 

“i don’t really know. he just said long distance wasn’t worth it anymore and he couldn’t do it,” samy shrugged, still not completely comprehending all of it. 

“jesus christ. he’s so fucking dumb. i’ll talk to him,” ryan angrily shook his head while reaching for his phone, but samy stopped him. 

“don’t. i told him i never wanted to see him again. if he feels that way, then fuck him,” the girl’s voice turned bitter. ryan and julianne exchanged another worried glance, but neither of them said anything. 

they both knew this was bad and ryan was most definitely going to call will later. 

—

later that night when samy fell asleep in the comfort of julianne’s arms, ryan disappeared to his room to call his friend to give it to him. will’s phone buzzed by his head and he saw ryan’s name flash across the screen. the blonde pushed himself up, sliding right knowing leno never called him unless it was something serious. 

“what the fuck did you do?” ryan started, not even a hello or a how are you. 

“what?” 

“do not say what right now, smith. tell me why samy drove an hour and a half to my house in tears saying you broke up with her?” ryan’s anger didn’t dissipate. his rough tone had will grimacing. 

“she’s there?” the blonde’s voice softened out. when he went to check samy’s location she had already turned it off for him. 

“yes, she’s here and i thought something really bad happened when i saw her tears. what the hell has gotten into you? i thought you guys were like in love with each other?” 

“i’m gonna sign,” will blurted out nervously. 

the boy on the other end fell silent for a moment, “to the sharks?” 

“yeah. in two days,” the blonde nodded. 

“what does that have to do with you breaking up with your best friend?” ryan still didn’t get it nor did he think he’d ever get will’s fucked up reasoning. 

“that’s the whole point, ry. i’m signing which means i’m moving my entire life to california. i can’t be a boyfriend from fucking california,” will frowned even though ryan couldn’t see it. 

“who said that? yes you can. you guys literally did long distance this past year? what’s so different about this?” 

“i wasn’t even there for her. i couldn’t because of hockey. she doesn’t deserve some half-assed boyfriend. she deserves someone who can be there for her and that can’t be me. not when we’re across the country from each other and i’m not gonna see her until summers now. i can’t do that to her, ry,” will’s voice broke for the first time since the two started talking. ryan backed off a little when he heard his friend’s voice. 

“you know she doesn’t care about that, will,” ryan’s tone softened out finally. 

“which is why i had to break up with her before we really hurt each other.” 

“i think you already did your damage, will. she’s really beat up about this. you should talk to her,” the brunette tried, but will’s head shook. 

“i can’t. it’s done. i have to let her go.” 

“dude, you can’t actually think that. she’s with you until the end of the line. she has been since you were kids. what happened to that whole thing where you guys promised you’d be friends even if things went bad?” ryan reached for anything at this point because he didn't want to see his friends like this. not when he watched them pine over one another for two years. not when he’s seen how much samy and will loved one another. 

“i gotta go, ry. i’m sorry,” will said because he couldn’t be pulled back in. he had to do this and no one was gonna change his mind. his thumb pressed the end call button before ryan could argue more with him. 

a broken sigh left will’s lips and in the very, very back of his mind, he knew he made the wrong choice on this one, but now it was too late. 

samy was gonna find a great guy at michigan who’d be the perfect boyfriend will could never be for her.

[angel-of-the-moons]

I haven’t stopped thinking about that Hobie baby fever fic ever since you posted it. Many thoughts. Many thoughts many many thoughts and ideas many many little ideas.

You have people saying ‘Oh good luck lol kids are SO hard!’ ‘He’s definitely gonna regret it you’re gonna be a single parent’. But Hobie’s probably been WISHING from a young age he could be a parent, the only thing he didn’t prep for is your little one grabbing his wicks and him nervously calling out “Luv, luv help me LUV-”. He learnt very quickly to tie his hair back when he’s holding them. If you have a little girl, everyone always thinks it’s you who’s done her hair for the day or for school. NOPE. Hobie’s been with her in the bathroom since 6 in the morning putting her in braids and buns. Your baby is his whole world and he’ll be DAMNED if he won’t be the absolute best dad EVER ‼️

Oh my godddddddddd my ovaries went 💥💥

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet Pt. 2

Dad!Hobie x Wife!Reader

TW/CW: A lil angst at the start, Fluff. So much fluff.

A/N: I'm basing all my baby prep off of the things I had to do for my nephew. I am unsure the proper care that goes into textured hair but I hope I can do it justice!

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

You remember what people told you, how "someone like him" wouldn't be able to handle being a dad, how he'd leave you. The words said by your mother hurt the worst, the things she said about Hobie. Your father was no better, especially when they found out you two agreed to get pregnant before anything else.

Especially after you put the positive pregnancy tests, the test results from blood work with your doctor, and some baby booties on the table as a surprise.

It was supposed to go like you imagined, right? Happy jubilant crying, hugs, congratulations...

You got the exact opposite, with your parents criticizing everything about your boyfriend, the father of your unborn baby. The man you loved.

"What kind of father would he be? A bad one, just look at how he's dressed! You think he can help dress your child?" Your mother scoffed. "And those awful piercings! I bet your baby will be running around with holes in their face by the time they're six!"

"And what about a job? You can't be the only one to support your family. He's a man, he needs to step up and quit it with that "punk lifestyle". It's not suitable to raise my grandchild in!" Your father grunted.

After your baby was born, you cut them off and had a courthouse wedding, and a little get-together with his friends from the Spider Society. A mix of a reception and baby shower.

Joke's on them! Hobie was an amazing father, and an amazing husband. The moment he found out you two were having a little girl?

Pink. And. Purple. Her style would be all punkish of course.

He got stuffed instruments that crinkled for when she would teethe, some guitar-shaped rattles...

And he would never admit it, but Hobie actually cried, when he got to hold your baby girl for the first time. You guys named her Selena. Selena Brown.

She came out angry, wailing, as if she was pissed off at the world she had only been in for a few moments.

"Already got the spirit! Make a big noise, a big statement. That's my girl!" Hobie laughed, playing with her tiny feet.

After that, Hobie was very attentive. From you working from home, he would help. He'd fetch the breast pump when you needed it, would prep the bottles, and keep Selena occupied while you worked. He would even take the late shifts at night to make sure you got your rest.

As Selena got bigger, her hair became a bit unruly, and at times you had no idea what to do with it. Hobie? He came in clutch. The proper ties, hair masks, grease (if needed), oils, brushes...

The trick was getting the rambunctious one year old to hold still while her father attempted to tame the poofy mass.

It was one day, you got up from your computer only to hear Hobie shout your name.

"Babe! Babe!" He cried out, grunting.

Of course, you made a dash for the living room, only to see your husband with your toddler. Apparently she had moved behind him, her hands clinging to his shirt to help keep her balanced as she bounced on her little chubby feet.

Her big brown eyes gleamed as she giggled, her bottom teeth poking out in the most adorable way.

Well... it wasn't from where Hobie sat.

Selena's little fist had a tight hold over one of his wicks, tugging his head back sharp.

"A lil' help, luv?!" He winced, hissing at you as you covered your face to try and keep from laughing.

"Come on, Bug, give daddy's poor head a rest. He's got enough problems with that mess he calls hair." You tease, scooping up your little girl.

But... even though her grip loosened, Hobie's wick stayed attached to her hand.

"Oh... ohhhhh..." You said, clicking your tongue.

"What! What!" Hobie groaned, trying to tug his head free.

"You made me have a spider baby."

[fellthemarvelous]

Without hope, we have nothing.

(Spoilers and speculation included a bit further down)

This is actually a post about the Bad Batch and not Star Wars Rebels, but this bit is important so...

Try not to cry when you remember that Tech is the one who taught Hera Syndulla how to mask her ship's signature, a move that made her a massive threat to the Empire and a move that she often used to her advantage. She was such a threat to the Empire that they wanted to capture her alive so they could make an example of her for her years of defiance.

And then also try not to cry when you remember that when Hera was taken prisoner by the Empire, Kanan Jarrus sacrificed his life to free her and save the future of the Rebellion. Try not to cry when you think about the fact that Kanan Jarrus aka Caleb Dume was the Jedi padawan the Bad Batch protected (except for Crosshair) from the Empire during Order 66 by claiming Hunter killed him.

Hunter, Tech, Wrecker and Echo lied to the Empire to protect a Jedi.

And Tech taught Hera how to evade the Empire when the Bad Batch helped her family (Chopper included) escape Ryloth after being accused of treason.

Clone Force 99's actions had a direct outcome on the success of the Rebellion. They refused to commit treason against the Republic and all they did was commit treason against the Empire. They were strong enough to resist the effects of the inhibitor chip (Crosshair and Wrecker for awhile), outright ignored Order 66 (Hunter and Tech), or were tortured and turned partially into a machine against his will by the Techno Union and used as a weapon against the Republic who, upon rescue, immediately jumped back into Separatist territory and fucked their asses up (Echo). Luckily, with the help of Rex, they got their chips removed after Wrecker tried to kill all of them.

Everything under the cut is pure speculation. I'm having a galaxy brain moment, I just have no idea if it's pointing me in the right direction or not lol.

If you disagree with me, I don't need you to rudely tell me why.

After his time on Tantiss, Crosshair can now identify with Echo more than anyone else in the Bad Batch (and Tech if CX-2 is Tech).

When they went to rescue Echo, Crosshair is the one who snidely told Captain Rex that he would have left Echo behind too.

Which is exactly what happened to Crosshair when the Empire turned him into a weapon against his own brothers. He had no choice because the Empire attached him to a machine and amped up the effect of his inhibitor chip so he could not disobey orders.

Rex told Cody "I think Echo is still alive" and Cody told him that was impossible. Anakin accompanied him on this rescue mission with The Bad Batch (we know Cody would have too if he hadn't been injured).

I think that if Tech is CX-2, Crosshair already knows or highly suspects it. He's terrified of Tantiss. I think we're going to have a parallel moment of Crosshair possibly saying the same thing, knowing that he could never leave a brother behind again after what he went through, especially if CX-2 is Tech. (I also wouldn't be surprised if Omega suspected something after her trip back to Tantiss with CX-2.)

We never saw Echo's body after the explosion. Instead we got this image. An empty helmet and a droid arm.

Crosshair defected from the Empire when he witnessed the Empire tell him that Mayday was only a clone and not worth giving medical attention to. Those actions resulted in the death of Mayday and that's when Crosshair chose to shoot an Imperial officer between the eyes (similar to Dogma's execution of General Krell in many ways).

If Tech is CX-2, that is the second Bad Batcher the Empire has turned into an enemy against his brothers.

This is the last we saw of Tech.

Hemlock was fucking lying when he said that Tech's glasses were all they recovered. Why the hell would he have found Tech's glasses and not Tech? All we see below him are clouds. And this is the last bit of Tech we see. That gun is in the shot with his glasses for a reason.

I feel like this is going to parallel Echo's rescue from Skako Minor. Tech and Echo are both highly intelligent huge ass nerds (remember that the battle plans being used against the Republic were written by both Rex and Echo, and Cody acknowledged that Rex was one of their best strategists in the GAR) who always ended up working best together.

Part of me wonders if we are heading into a show centered on the clone troopers in a post Order 66 world going up against the Empire as they try to rescue more of their brothers. Enough to become a problem for the Empire.

Part of me also wonders if the inclusion of Force sensitive children in the Bad Batch means Rex will need to call Ahsoka into the fray. Wolffe has only appeared once so he hasn't even switched sides, let alone even started blocking Ahsoka's messages to Rex yet. During the Clone Wars she had to save Force sensitive children from Darth Sidious. During the Rebellion, the saved more Force sensitive children from Darth Sidious. It makes me wonder if she is also going to save Force sensitive children from this too? I might be reaching a bit too much here, but it could be a possibility! She seems to always show up when Force sensitive children need to be rescued from Darth Sidious.

No matter what ending we get for the Bad Batch, I know it's going to leave us with hope for the future because the message in Star Wars has always shown us that hope will always be stronger than fear.

A simple act of kindness can fill a galaxy with hope.

Without hope, we have nothing.

These episodes are all relevant to Echo's journey. The Domino Squad was referred to as a bad batch and Echo was the one who seemed to struggle the most with orders that conflicted with doing what needed to be done. He is the one who memorized the regulations manual after all. And now the Bad Batch are on a similar journey because they have never trusted regs before, but now it seems they might have to trust the regs to come to help them the way they helped Rex and Echo before the war ended. The way they helped Gregor after the war ended.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but that's a fanfic I can always write!! I don't want to get into who I think is going to die or survive, but I have my suspicions there too and I'm already in too much pain to keep going.

[lunar-and-ardent]

The relationship of Tecna and Timmy is so romantic.

It may be not as visible, because the show has couples being romantic in a more classical way, but Timmy and Tecna actually have so many tender, gentle and vulnerable moments. They are so sweet together, and awkward, and then out of nowhere hit you with the deepest scenes imaginable. They are so Jane-Austen's-characters'-coded lol.

Like this short scene of a game from season 2 (first gif)??? This is so romantic and sensual, you wouldn't expect it from them.

Their conflict in the second season was that Tecna at first cared about rather performative bravery (literal fighting, close combat) + wanted something more than just talking about their hyperfixation. Timmy, on the other hand, thought in a more logical way: he knew his strengths, and that he's better at strategy and computers, and wasn't interested in posing as a hero just to feel good about himself (this scene where he realizes he isn't strong enough against Trix and so he gives away the Codex). He also wanted to get closer to Tecna, so it makes sense he tried to connect on their common hobby, at first not realizing that Tecna, with her emotional growth, started to want a little more than this. And you can understand them both, and both have good points.

And Timmy is a freaking badass. He always thinks logically (I'd argue that even more than Tecna, like this scene with Codex, where she called him a coward for not doing something that was doomed from the start), and so the scene in the third season hits so much. You know which one. All Winx cry and Riven tries to comfort Timmy (I really like the fact it's Riven who does that btw, but this is a material for another post), trying to bring reason to him, politely saying that there's no way Tecna is still alive, and Timmy says in a calm and sure way that he knows she is alive. If Timmy says something like that, you know he's right.

I guess the scene from the second season, when Winx go to fight Lord Darkar and specialists stay at the back, sums up their relationship in the best way: Timmy stays inside the ship, because it is his role to navigate it, and he and Tecna look at each other, just sighing each other's names (though they cannot hear it). Their love is so, so deep. And a relationship like the one they have wouldn't fit everyone, since both of them don't need to spend as much time together as others, nor do they have to say as much (but if they say how much they love each other, oh they say it), and they both share their hyperfixation/special interest, but all of this works perfectly for them. They're a match made in heaven. And come to think of that, we have this popular fanon that Tecna is on the spectrum of autism, but I wonder if there is any fanon like this for Timmy? I also feel like being demisexual or graysexual fits them both (maybe I just like the idea of Tecna, a character whose main arc is understanding and expressing emotions, feeling sexual desire only to someone who she has a strong connection with, I guess it feels kinda poetic to me).

[natsukishinomiyaswife]

𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭: 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰

I originally wrote this for my OC, based on this video my friend Mah (@midnightmah07) sent me! I decided to make it a x Reader, so that everyone can enjoy it (and because I love this fic lol) but if you want to read the original, you can find it here! ♡ Enjoy! ♡

⋆ The Pop Music Club was sitting in their club room, eating snacks as they talked. They had a show coming up in a few weeks, and were debating on what to perform. There were certain songs they would always play, but this time they wanted to do something different, to really make the show stand out. Lilia suggested they try a new genre, while Kalim suggested they incorporate a new instrument. Cater didn’t really have any suggestions, scrolling through Magicam for inspiration. While scrolling he comes across a new post from you, a smile coming to his face as he likes it.

⋆ As he continues scrolling he comes across fan edits, dancing videos, comedy skits, memes. He was about to switch apps when he comes across a post, a girl gushing about how her partner wrote a song for her, as a surprise for her birthday. The post includes a short clip of them singing to her, the girl standing there in shock for a moment before looking like she could cry. In the comments everyone talked about how romantic it was, some saying how they wished they had a partner like that.

⋆ A sudden thought occurs to him, looking up from his phone and turning towards the others as he suggests, “Why don’t we try writing our own songs?” Kalim and Lilia look to each other for a moment before agreeing, the two of them excited at the idea of writing their own song. After eating a few more snacks and talking for a little bit longer, they go their separate ways, each of them needing to have a song written for their next club meeting.

⋆ Cater stretched in his desk chair, sighing. He had been staring at his computer for a few hours now, a blank word document in front of him. He kept thinking and trying yet a song just wouldn’t come to him, getting up from his chair. He grabs his phone and earbuds before moving to lay on his bed, needing a break. He scrolls through Magicam as he listens to music, liking and sharing certain posts. He sees a post from the bakery in the village near Night Raven, announcing new items they would be adding to their menu soon. One of the items is a dessert that seems to be trending right now, everyone talking about how good it is.

⋆ He smiles as his mind immediately goes to you, knowing how much you like sweets. Without thinking he shares the post with you, sending another message right after that asking if you’d like to go with him when the bakery debuts their new desserts. It takes a few minutes before you respond, but your reaction was what he expected, telling him you would love to go with him and how excited you were to try the desserts. Your message had a mix of heart emojis throughout it, something you always did. Their was one particular heart emoji you seemed to use more than the others, Cater putting it next to your name in his phone. He did it because the heart emoji reminded him of you, that’s all. There was no other reason. (At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself)

⋆ It’s a few days later when the bakery debuts their new desserts, Cater waking up early knowing how busy they will be. You were already waiting for him outside campus, standing at the entrance gates. You were dressed more casually than usual, no longer wearing the uniform he was used to. He couldn’t help but stare, thinking how good you looked. You ran over to him as soon as you noticed him, thanking him again for inviting you. Cater wasn’t paying attention as you continued to talk, eyes focused on your mouth. There was just something about that lip balm you wore that he was drawn to, tempting him. It makes him want to…

⋆ He shakes his head, stopping himself from continuing that thought. You made your way to the bakery, talking and laughing as you walked. As you pass by a house Cater catches a glimpse of your reflection in the window, the sight almost making him stop. He never thought about how you held hands whenever you go somewhere, enjoying having you close. But seeing your reflection, your hands linked together as you talked, he couldn’t help but think…

We look like a couple

⋆ It doesn’t help that others would mistake you as such, strangers calling you his partner or his dorm mates telling him to enjoy his “date”. Trey had even complimented his appearance that morning, asking him what he was dressed up for. They’re wrong, Cater thinks. We’re just friends. Yet, the idea of you being “just friends” hurt, Cater choosing not to linger on it.

⋆ There was already a line when you got to the bakery, having to wait around fifteen minutes before you could enter. Cater’s attention was drawn to the dessert that was trending, ordering it to take a picture for his Magicam. You went to order one as well before Cater stopped you, reminding you that you could just eat his. You laughed, saying you forgot and thanking him. Once he got the dessert you went to sit outside, not wanting to stay in with how packed it was.

⋆ It was a nice day out, the table he chose giving you a nice view. Cater took the dessert out of it’s container, setting it up so that it looked good. He used the natural lighting to help take his photo, immediately uploading it to Magicam. When he looked up from his phone he noticed you sitting across from him, eyeing the dessert eagerly. His heart raced as he told you he just needed to take one more photo before you could dig in, focusing on you rather than the dessert as he took it. As soon as he said you could eat it, you started digging in, looking happy due to how good it was.

⋆ You stayed there for a while, Cater scrolling through his phone as you ate, talking and laughing in between. Whenever Cater saw a video or a meme he knew you would like, he would hold his phone out to you, watching as you tried not to choke on the dessert while laughing. Before you went your separate ways Cater gave you a hug, thanking you for coming with him. You hugged him back, telling him that you should be the one thanking him, considering he paid for the dessert. You promise to treat him next time as you wave goodbye, Cater watching you go before heading back to Heartslabyul.

⋆ As soon as he got back Ace was there, a teasing grin on his face as he asked how his “date” went. Cater gave him a look, used to his behavior as he tells him it wasn’t a date. After a moment he goes on, letting him know he had a good time, and that the dessert seems to be worth the hype. He heads to his room, running into Deuce along the way. He too asks how his “date” went, though his question seemed more genuine, Cater not having the heart to correct him. He breathes a sigh of relief once he’s inside, immediately laying in his bed.

⋆ He did his best to relax, mind racing as he pulled up the picture he took of you earlier. It had turned out better than he thought, your eyes lit up as you looked at the dessert on the table. You looked almost like you were glowing with how the sun hit your face, your hands clapped together in excitement. You looked so happy, so cute. He had to resist the urge to make it his phone background, shaking his head. He sat his phone on his chest, holding his arm over his eyes. He just needed to calm down, everything would be alright. You guys were friends, you were only hanging out. You weren’t dating, you weren’t his partner, he wasn’t…

He wasn’t…

“I’m not in love with them” he mutters to himself, though his racing heart wants to prove him wrong.

⋆ It’s in this moment that he realizes what he wants his song to be about, slowly getting up and moving to his desk. He writes what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, using it as inspiration. After having to edit and rewrite it a few times he was finally happy with it, realizing how late it was when he checked his phone.

⋆ At their next club meeting Cater bursts into the club room, presenting the song he had written. Lilia gave him a knowing look as he read the lyrics, Kalim complimenting him on how good it was. After talking some more and discussing the songs Lilia and Kalim had written, they decided to perform the song Cater wrote, with him singing the lead vocals. As it got closer to their show date they began advertising it, posting on their socials and putting up flyers around campus. You even made a post on your Magicam about it, encouraging anyone who could to attend. You texted Cater the night before the show, telling him how excited you were, and wishing them good luck. He tried not to think about how it made his heart skip a beat.

⋆ The night of their show the Pop Music Club was buzzing with excitement, a fairly large crowd coming to see them. As they went on stage Cater’s eyes were drawn towards the front, right where you stood in the crowd. You waved at him, mouthing good luck as he gave you a small wave back. They did their usual introduction, playing some of the songs they were known for before playing the one Cater wrote near the end. He did his best to focus on different parts of the crowd as he sang, but he couldn’t help how he would always go back to you, locking eyes with you more than once.

You’re always on my mind I think about you all the time Um, no Let’s not talk about it Drama, we can live without it Catch a wave if we’re bored There’s a clock we’ll ignore Find a way around it Hey, I can tell there’s something Even when you say it’s nothing When you’re playing with your hair Like you just don’t care It’s a tell you’re bluffing Now please don’t take this the wrong way I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love Well it’s not a love song, not a love song I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song, not a love song I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love The way you sing it, Put me through it I guess I always knew it (I always knew) I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song (not a love song) Not a love song (I know it’s not a love song)

Bonus scene:

⋆ After their show the boys headed backstage, ecstatic by how well their performance had gone. Lilia turns to Cater, a knowing smile on his face as he informs him, “You do realize that was a love song you wrote, don’t you Cater?”

Cater stumbles for a moment, laughing awkwardly as he shakes his head. “It totally wasn’t! I don’t know where you got that idea from, Lilia!”

Lilia eyes shine with amusement at his response, asking, “Oh, really? Can I ask what the inspiration was for the song, then? Perhaps, you had someone in mind…?”

Cater was quiet after that, knowing his response wouldn’t help his case. He couldn’t say that he wrote the song thinking of you, after all. ♡

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

[bookns]

babes i need some good percabeth fic rex’s preferably not spicy lol i need some nighttime reading material 😭😭😭

I GOT YOU oh my god I love this ask

the anatomy of a hurricane: barbarianprincess (all of their fics are amazing but this is my favorite)

Of Heists and Home Economics: chellethewriter

building memories on things not said: ahecen

it's human (you can lay your hands on me): riverv (literally all their fics) (I had this labeled in my notes "Can't read without crying - so lonely" ENJOY)

there's still color: mypetersburg

the annabeth project: pjoseries (divineauthor)

Meeting Percy and Annabeth: foreverfangirlwrites (She's pretty popular (her series A Rose By Any Name is really good) but for this fic is a comfort fic so if its not here I be pretty sad)(and her fic Into A Moment of Time - made me cry so bad. Like full on sobs with hiccups so read that too)

spread your wings and learn how to fly: roomtempcupofjoe (PRINCESS DIAIRES)

Eighteen Years a Hero: romanitas

graduating class: loveliet (all their fics are good but this one hits hard)

when the sun came up (you were looking at me): TheWritingManiac (if you liked Wendy Mass as a kid, this fic IS IT)

The Blood of Olympus: MariaClaire (just trust me)

I Would (Literally) Die For You: AverageCanadian (this author haunts me and made me cry to the point where I lost count so ENJOY)

What The High Tides May Bring: myshipsaresunk

A Mere Collection of Words: sunburst_city (WARNING: its not spice but it is implied - I didn't think it was too bad but if you want just skip this fic)

A Semester Abroad: ScienceFantasy93 (shits so good your gonna love Reyna)

Post Tenebras Lux: husborth (listen to Taylors swift You are In Love you'll thank me later)

Forever Cursed: RainySteve (sad. thats it. your warning is just the word sad. good luck solider)

etched on skin: unsureavenge (also check their fic End Of The Line I've spoken about it before and ohgod its just a masterpiece)

Here I Go Again!: percabethica (a Mamma Mia AU that I read before watching Mamma Mia - yeah that was an experience)

building memories on things not said: ahecen

Witnesses: Roselightfairy (I LOVE THIS ONE - comfort fic)

Won't Leave Any Doubt: maydayparade8123 (orphan_account)

We Only Want To Help: Believer1991

i wanna tell you, but i don't know how: polypanpercyjackson (thecuspofsomething)

gravity in the words we write: percyj

dates, demigods, and other divine disasters: fuwaaa

Rite of Passage: hanpersands (self plug; I have a fic just like this too if you like - link in my bio)

we made a lot of music dancing (you and i): vll8586

Arizona Sky: husborth

I Bet You Think Your Honey Tastes Like Sugar: Lex42069

and you knew what it was: aceofdiamonds

Surprise Baby: iannageorge

Late Night Rescues: IllusionsOfInsanity

The Library Book: unsureavenger ( I have no idea if I did them already but all their fics but THIS ONE in particular - literal chefs kiss)

just practice: knuffled (bigscary)

Save the Date: oreoz314

first i love u: RainySteve

take me to your best friend's house: mcpicktwo (I laugh at this one so much)

If We Have Each Other: jasonsmclean

Days Apart: likoricke (orphan_account)

you belong with me: scrxbbler

Fireworks: katebishoop

and of course, me, Bookns has Pjo fics (you know Can I Be Him but expect another fic in a day or two)

I know its a lot but I hope you like them. Some of these are my favorite and they are really close to my heart. I've only been in this fandom for about three years so there's a lot I missed but I think I read a lot for my own good. I recommend Taylor swift entire discoraphy but especially you are in love - Enjoy Darling

[pepsiconcoction]

hi hi, i enjoy reading your content so much that I wanted to make a request! A Lee Know Fluff inspired by this song “Take A Chance With Me” by NIKI. It can literally be a drabble, one shot, series or whatever pleases you! thanks again <3

hi i'm so sorry i disappeared for like, so long? idk honestly, so i have no idea when you posted this, or if you even still want it lol. i finally have some free time AND i'm feeling creative again so that's fun! anyways hope you like this, i did it in like an hour and a half and its barely proofread, i hope u love it tho <3

Take A Chance With Me - Lee Know x Reader

pairing: Lee Know x gn!Reader

tags: non-idol AU, fluff, tiny amount of angst if you squint?, lee know is a goofy guy i guess

wc: 891

Being in love with Minho was hard. Unfortunately, it was a hardship you had been dealing with for a while now. He was everything to you, your best friend, your soulmate even, although he would always say that soulmates don’t actually call each other that.

The moment you finally realised you were in love with Lee Minho, the two of you were nursing hangovers, a bowl of sundaeguk steaming your face. You had both finally graduated from University, the same place you had met almost 4 years ago. He had finally introduced himself to you after sitting next to you every Tuesday at 9am, after the professor had introduced the fact that group work was required for a project. You hadn’t even heard him speak up until that point, you were kinda beginning to think that was a figment of your imagination until he spoke. 

A year later he told you that he decided to sit next to you because you were the first person who seemed ‘normal’ when he first entered and looked around the room. This confession, of course, had the two of you in fits of giggles at how neither of you turned out to be normal. You had realised you both shared a passion for dance despite your degree studying computer science and had even attended each other's dance showcases and competitions, watching him dance was like nothing else. The way he moved with such practiced precision was so captivating, that it was almost impossible to ever look away.

Beyond that, he was the kindest person you knew. He cared in ways that you had never expected of him. When your boyfriend cheated on you in the summer between years 2 and 3, he showed up to your apartment with kind words and snacks, and he did your dishes for you and even ironed your shirt for work the next day so that you could cry.

Back to the sundaeguk. It was still steaming.

The glint in his eye as he threw his head back giggling at some stupid joke you made you realise. It made you realise a lot of things actually. 

“What happens now?” you ask.

“I don’t know about you but I’m gonna eat this,” he says pointing at his bowl with the chopsticks in his hand.

“No, I mean, now that we’ve graduated.”

He stops mid sausage-to-mouth and blinks at you. 

“We get… jobs, I guess.” The sausage reaches his mouth. You laugh. You let the moment pass.

A month later you’re at a party, he asked you to be his plus one to the after-party of one of his dance shows and you’re talking to one of the other members of the choreography team. She tells you how Minho talks about you and has such admiration for you. When Minho waves at you from across the room, she asks you how you’re not dating. You manage to ramble off something about just being close friends but even you don’t fully believe it. You don’t want this night to end the way it always did. He walks you home, you hold his arm, you let go, and you both say good night. 

You watch him from across the room, the room blaring with music, the sound of voices almost competing. He’s beautiful, you know that, everyone who has ever met him knows that. He’s talking to a friend, one you vaguely recognise, and you feel a pang in your chest, a feeling of impending doom. There’s a fear in your heart that something will take him from you, a job, a person, you don’t know, but you need him to stay with you. You need him.

You finish the drink in your hand and put the empty glass back on the table. You excuse yourself from the group and walk over to him. He notices you and his smile grows wide. 

“Hey! I was just talking about you.” He’s grinning as he says it.

“Only good things I hope.” You raise your eyebrows.

“Of course.”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” you turn a little more serious for a moment. He excuses himself from his friend and the two of you walk outside into the quiet of the night, the cool summer air refreshing.

“Are you okay?” he asks, a hint of concern showing in his eyes.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about things.” you sigh.

“Oh, that’s never good.” 

“I was thinking about you, dumbass.” You roll your eyes.

“Okay, now I’m interested,” he smirks.

You pause as you look at him. You spare a moment thinking of what to say, and how he’ll react, will he accept or reject you? You don’t know. The only thing you do know is Lee Minho, you know him as if you are him, as if you’re connected somehow. You feel like this is already written for you.

“I love you,” you say. He blinks.

“I love you too.”

“No, like, I love you Minho. More than just besties.”

“But if we date, who will be my bestie?” Of course, he jokes. Of course, you laugh.

“You’d have to find a new one.” You giggle.

“Well, looks like I’ll have to get started then.” He leans into you. “I wasn’t kidding,” he says in a softer, quieter voice. “I do love you.”

Being in love with Minho was suddenly so easy, but it always was.

taglist: @lethallyprotected @lieslab @jeyelleohe @lilykatelyn-blog @mimiibear @jisungfanpage47 send me an ask if you want to be added!!

[tears0fsatan]

I have something in mind

Can brothers+ Simeon (If you can) react to a smutty fanfic with male mc written by some random succubus?

They're just randomly scrolling on devilgram (or any other platform) and they see this fanfic (if you know what I mean)

Sorry if it's a bit confusing.

✦ ⊹ ˚˖ warnings... nsfw??, below 16 do not interact u'll be blocked if u do, male!mc, mainly implied dom!mc, mainly implied top!mc, possessive language yeahhhh 🤘🤘🤟, praise, levi has two dicks lol (its canon atp yall source: trust me), implied blowjob lol (levi), lowkey exhibitionism (satan&beel), mention of somno (belphie), mention of body worship lol (simeon)

 :¨·.·¨ ♥︎  a.n... wait this is actually pretty cute??? HAHAHA had so many ideas for this thank you hon <3 (lol lets move past the fact that this req is almost a year old and it reminded me of svsss lowkey)

LUCIFER !

he doesn't really remember how things had gotten to this point, one moment he was busy doing his paperwork and the next he was reading this... obscene nonsense on his phone. it was horribly vulgar and terribly inappropriate, not to mention how it invaded his and MCs privacy.

yet for some reason, he couldn't look away.

lucifer was no teenage boy, he had the willpower to move mountains and never felt the urge to masturbate, especially to something as crass as smut of someone he knew personally.

he had no need to read horrible stuff like this since he could easily have the real thing, yet he had to admit, there was something rather enticing about someone's lewd fantasies between him and MC. it annoyed him to no end that someone thought of his MC in such a way but knowing that they knew it was lucifer that was the one making his human feel so good eased his jealousy.

it was comical almost, how the author depicted him fucking MC into the next day when in reality it was the opposite. it was lucifer who was under the mercy of the human, the one who would cry and beg for more, not that anyone outside of the two of them needed to know.

however, there was one commonality between the vulgar post and reality that made his pride flare, no one, not human, angel, or demon, could ever make his little human feel as good as he did. it was interesting to see how accurate yet inaccurate this succubus's fantasy was at the same time and only lucifer would know.

lucifer thought about leaving a comment correcting the author on what a satisfied MC really looked like, on how it was really he himself that trembled under the human's touch, and how MC managed to get the avatar of pride into such a state. yet, knowing that he was the only one who truly knew those little things pleased him greatly, and quickly dismissed the thought. some things were better left unsaid.

MAMMON !

during one of his nightly visits to his favourite casino, mammon couldn’t help but notice how some of the succubi keeping the gambling demons company were whispering amongst each other and giggling to themselves while occasionally throwing glances at him. at first, he thought nothing of it, he was a demon lord after all and the second oldest of all seven avatars of sins on top of being a model, it was no surprise people would recognise him.

throughout the night he caught wind of bits and pieces of the succubi’s whispering and immediately opened his D.D.D. to see exactly what the hell they were muttering about. what he found left him speechless and unable to focus on his bets the entire night, though he tried (and subsequently failed miserably) to not let it show.

there was a flare of anger at the thought of other people thinking of his MC in that way but the fact that they imagined him with MC had a different feeling flaring up in the pit of his stomach. a sense of smugness bubbled up from within, damn right it was him that was fucking MC, as if he would allow anyone else touch his treasure.

mammon's thoughts kept flitting back to the post despite himself, images of scenes the author described coming to haunt him through his bets and they had him shifting in his seat, eager to keep the money rolling in but also desperate to have MCs arms wrapped around him and make the dirty fantasies of a random succubus come to life.

he wanted to feel MCs desperation on his skin, he wanted the humans attention all on him, his eyes focused on the demon and him alone, but most of all, mammon wanted to hear the cascade of praises that the human sang his way, just like how the post had described. he needed all of it.

before he realised, his thoughts were no longer focused on the money he could've been earning and instead on his human. he'd deal with the perverted succubus and his increasing debt another day, what he needed right now was MC.

LEVIATHAN !

now, leviathan was no stranger to fan fiction, especially smut and x readers. he was what one could describe as an expert on internet culture, so how could he not know about something as infamous as fan fiction? they were his guilty pleasure, not that anyone knew.

he was also no stranger to searching MC up online, whether it was on devilgram to see the most recent photos captured of him or fabsnap to replay the videos of him doing a silly challenge with one of his brothers. while he knew that the real living human was merely a few steps away, leviathan wasn't sure if he wanted such a useless and gross otaku breathing down his neck.

so, when he was scrolling through devilgram to see updates on a new anime he was into and accidentally stumbled upon a once in a lifetime goldmine, how could he pass up the opportunity to read it? i mean, to think that some other basement dweller thought of him with MC in such an intimate way... that was pretty fucking awesome, wasn't it?! leviathan was divided between feeling like the luckiest demon in all three realms and feeling like he had tainted something he shouldn't have, as his eyes shakily scanned the blob of text with bated breath.

there were several moments that sent a shudder down his spine, the description of MC taking his cocks oh so sweetly had him running laps in his mind. even after he finished reading the entirety of the post, he had to go back again, as if to burn the text into his memory.

a whine made its way out of the demon's throat when the mental image of the human stroking his cocks with a lazy smirk on his lips and sharp eyes analysing his every move took reign over his thoughts, the image coming back despite how hard he tried to will it away and focus on the post again. his attempts proved futile, thoughts of MC on his knees in front of him with a cock in each hand, movement stopping completely just as he was about to come flashed in his mind with every breath⎯ leviathan couldn't get him out of his head.

hidden beneath the guilt that came with thinking of such lewd acts with MC lay a flare of envy⎯ how dare someone think of the revered human in such a manner? the more he thought about him and the post, the brighter the flare burned, and soon it consumed him, on top of the sinful thoughts of his human.

SATAN !

while waiting for a certain human to join him at the library for their promised tutoring session, satan decided to scroll through his devilgram, chuckling quietly to himself when he comes across a silly video of cats. however, his laughter soon died down when he scrolled onto the next recommended post and saw that it was about his study date and himself.

after a moment of pondering whether he should take the time to read the horny rambling of a random succubus or not, he ultimately decided, fuck it, why not? it was crude and quite poorly written, he noted, but the thought behind the post was made clear; satan took MC to the library under the guise of tutoring him when in reality it had only been a front to fuck the human in public.

a concoction of emotion bubbled underneath his skin and his mind ran rampant, the thought of someone naively believing that satan would be the one who would do something as ballsy as that nearly made him laugh, but he imagined a scenario where the dynamic flipped, and the chuckle died in his throat. various images of MC using him in a place he deemed to be his haven weaselled past his wall of self control and it became the only thing he could think of.

it wasn't something he hadn't thought of, it was just one that he tried not to acknowledge. after all, it was a public setting and satan had the reputation of a demon lord to keep up, he couldn't just do something indecent where lesser beings could see him and MC. yet, in a way, the vulgar musing of some unknown succubus brought an onslaught of unwarranted thoughts about him and the human doing uncouth things in places where someone could randomly stumble upon them that he didn't hate all that much.

the idea of the human covering his mouth with his hand to silence all the obscene noises so people wouldn't discover them had more of an effect on the demon than he thought and he had to stop himself from divulging in his horny daydreams further.

he was pulled out of his dirty fantasies by the sound of a chair scraping against the floor and satan looked up to see that the human had arrived, chest rising and falling faster than it would normally, giving him the idea that he had run to meet him. the demon put on a smile and continued with the date like he never read the post in the first place, but unbeknownst to MC, there were endless plans swirling around in his mind.

ASMODEUS !

there is no demon in devildom who is more active on devilgram and fabsnap than asmodeus, the avatar of lust himself. it was no surprise to find him scrolling through his phone whenever he wasn't checking himself out on the nearest reflective surface. he isn't ashamed to admit he often checks posts tagged with his name, he enjoyed seeing all the compliments random succubi and inccubi showered him in.

though as of late, there was another name he found himself searching up alongside his. there was no one else it could've been besides MC, the human had somehow managed to worm his way into asmodeus's self fulfilled heart, which shocked even asmodeus himself. the demon always read every caption and comment under a post with either his or MCs name in it, especially posts tagged with both of their names. he made sure to never miss a post, regardless of whether they had something good or bad to say (of course the negative ones all got mysteriously bombarded with death threats and soon after were taken down). it was how he found the random musing of one of his fans.

it was scrambled and all over the place, not to mention the number of inaccuracies woven into it, and yet it turned asmodeus on nevertheless. there was one thing they got right; how the demon absolutely adored milking the human dry. the way his spit coated lips would bleed from how hard he bit on them and the way the filthy, degrading names that made asmodeus tremble in all the right ways would tumble past his lips as he rode him, he loved it all.

he fed off of MC's grunts and delirious praises like they were his last lifeline, both in this fan's fantasy and in real life. he never thought that someone could look as beautiful as himself while orgasming but then the human came along and suddenly it was like he had found god again.

the demon found himself getting more and more worked up as he read the text, the detail in the writing of what the two did sent a delightful shiver down his spine, and asmodeus had a sudden urge to stalk the human down and jump his bones. who knew someone's horny rambling could make asmodeus, the avatar of lust, feel this heated? as he skipped off in the direction of MC, thoughts about commissioning the fan kinkier work in the future cycled through his mind.

BEELZEBUB !

the avatar of gluttony wasn't someone who was constantly glued to his D.D.D. like a certain brother of his, if not for communicating with his brothers and MC or using his food sleuthing skills to find new and upcoming food businesses, he hardly even glanced at his phone.

yet somehow, beelzebub found himself unable to take his eyes off of his phone after one particularly tiring fangol practice. while all the other players had finished washing up and changing, the avatar of gluttony was still seated on the bench, unaware of the world around him. the post that had the demon so entranced was one about MC and himself doing sinful things that he only thought asmodeus would indulge in inside the very room beelzebub was situated in at the moment.

a shiver went down his spine and goosebumps broke out all over his skin, both from sweat that clung to his skin and the cool air and the post on devilgram. he was already hungry from not being able to eat during practice, but the description of MCs equally sweaty chest pressed against his back while his hands roamed beelzebubs waist made him feel a different kind of hunger⎯ a different sort of want.

usually his sin felt like a neverending void that he couldn't fill no matter how much he stuffed himself, and he still felt that, but the constant buzzing was somehow not as strong as the ache in his chest and the fire in his lower belly. amidst the heavy racing of his heart and the adrenaline from practice was still pumping through his veins, the post didn't exactly help with his current predicament.

he knew he needed to shower, to go back home and see his family, to stuff his face with all the food he could imagine in hopes of one day being able to silence the ravenous hunger, but after reading the post, he didn't know if he could take a shower without his member getting hard at the thought of MC doing him there too.

to be pressed up against the wall with his hands bracing his weight, the feeling of lips leaving evidence of their activities and lingering on the spot that drew out all sorts of uncharacteristic noises from the demon for a beat too long, the rough yet gentle touch of the human, all the thoughts swirled around in beelzebub's mind and it overpowered his insatiable hunger.

BELPHEGOR !

he had just woken up from the perfect after school nap with nothing to do, MC wasn't around and beelzebub was most likely in the kitchen emptying out the fridge. all homework that needed to be completed was filled out, it wasn't his turn to make dinner and he had already finished all of his chores. with nothing better to do, belphegor slid his phone out from where it was tucked underneath his pillow and scrolled through devilgram with no real goal in mind.

all the posts that flooded his feed were of fellow RAD students he couldn't have been bothered to remember and random promotional shots of RAD from the student council account that he felt the sleepiness creep back into his mind. just as he was about to shut off his phone and continue his nap, a flash of MCs name caught his eye and he scrolled back up to the post.

it was a relatively long post and belphegor mentally groaned, not in the mood to read something so lengthy, but he caught a glimpse of a few rather enticing words along with the human's name thrown in between and he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming urge to read the entire thing.

the way the author had detailed how MC fell victim to late night wood and couldn't sleep it off no matter how many times he tried while cuddling the demon, resulting in him rutting in between belphegor's thighs until the demon stirred awake had him squirming underneath his blanket.

with the help of his sleep addled mind, he could feel the ghost of MCs touch on his skin and he had to suppress the whine that wanted to crawl out of his throat. his eyes continued to skim through the fat chunk of text, swallowing thickly when he read about how the human sucked on his neck to muffle the sound of his own groans, leaving marks in his wake.

belphegor could hardly finish reading the post due to the onslaught of vivid scenarios of MC being all over him and feeling him up in his sleep, to which he felt his half hard dick twitch in his sweats. content with the train of thought his mind was heading in, the demon shut his phone off with the perfect dream to indulge himself in.

SIMEON !

all he was looking for was a new recipe and yet somehow, he found himself entranced with the filthy, sinful words. simeon was by no means the perfect angel, he had done his fair share of dirty deeds in his time but nothing quite enough to make him fall like his former brothers.

temptation was, naturally, an angel's worst enemy and simeon was known to flout the rules every now and then, and this was of no exception. the words on his D.D.D. were familiar yet strewn in a way that was foreign to the angel. it wasn't as though he was completely ignorant of such activities, but his status as an angel certainly meant that he had limited understanding of it outside of reproduction purposes.

so when this post suddenly showed up on his feed, as an author himself, how could he pass up the opportunity to read such a miracle?

the writer described MC in such a way that left simeon feeling flustered, with how this written version of him became so pliable, like putty in the human's hands. he didn't consider himself submissive, but rather something in between. however, there was something about MC praising him for doing well that made the angel think corrupting himself for the human wasn't all too bad of an idea.

he particularly enjoyed the way the writer entailed that MC was gentle and didn't limit himself when it came to praises while he caressed simeon's body, worshipping his body like it deserved. the angel could practically hear the breathy whisper of his name on the tip of the human's tongue, could see the satisfaction on his face whenever simeon couldn't hold back a noise from how good the human was making him feel.

well, as long as he didn't actually act out what was written, he wasn't breaking any rules, now was he? then, it wouldn't hurt to indulge in a few more similar works, right?

© 2023 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t translate, modify, repost or plagiarise my works anywhere.

[teamsasukes]

ok in my opinion, many things are wrong with the idea that sakura viewed sasuke only as a prize to be won to boost her self-worth; that when it comes to sasuke, she's forever frozen in time as a 12-year-old girl who can't see beyond his good hair and great grades. this post is my attempt at thoroughly unpacking and refuting that notion

when we meet sakura in part 1, she is obsessed with societal standards and her admiration for sasuke is almost entirely rooted in that. he's the ideal future husband -- from an ancient clan, stoic, intelligent, skilled, and by sakura's own description, "cool" -- these are things that she has been conditioned to want! so this is the sasuke that she envisions, until...

until they get put on a team together, and sakura gradually comes to realize that perhaps sasuke is not what she's made him out to be in her mind. he talks about crying, about being afraid. he's paralyzed with fear in their first mission. naruto may very well be stronger and more capable than him! oh, and sasuke gets into silly fights with naruto all the time. none of that is "cool." suddenly he seems less like the ideal future husband and more like a real person with flaws and baggage of his own.

that sakura's view of sasuke changes is so apparent through how radically her behaviour around him shifts between the early formation of team 7 and the chunin exams (and any point after). sakura goes from being unable to listen to a bad word about sasuke (maybe even the ones that are deserved) to defying him when she deems fit. she even praises naruto at his expense, because societal views are not at the forefront of her mind when it comes to the two boys anymore -- they're just naruto and sasuke. they're her friends! she goes from calling kakashi out for bad-mouthing the uchiha clan because she's doesn't want to risk sasuke getting mad at her, to calling naruto out for a similar statement, not due to personal involvement in the equation, but simply because it's not right.

and people typically agree with me up to here. it's when we get to sakura cutting her hair in the forest of death that opinions diverge, and some people tend to think that sakura should have "gotten over" sasuke to propel her character development forward. i don't necessarily find this reading invalid -- it's certainly a more straightforward direction for her character to take. sakura's goal was sasuke, now sakura's goal is to be strong. the problem is that there was always more nuance to her goal of winning sasuke's heart than people afford it in fandom discussion, and similarly, i don't think that the progression needed to be as clear-cut as "sakura gets over sasuke" to still be meaningful. in this case, i feel like people's expectations about what should have happened following this scene might preclude them from seeing the growth that this moment did produce.

sakura cutting her hair in the forest of death is the critical point her arc built up to for all of part 1. sakura is insulted by the sound nin for pouring so much time into her appearance when her training is clearly not up to par, and she cuts her shiny and perfect hair in a declaration that she will no longer derive her self-worth from the validation that would come from romantic attachment (to sasuke, or anyone else). instead, it will be from standing shoulder-to-shoulder with (or even ahead of) her teammates in battle -- so that she can protect them rather than the other way around. then the flashbacks during her fight with ino make it explicit that sakura has wanted to become a skilled shinobi -- one who could match up to ino -- all along, but since that is not a socially acceptable goal from a girl, she instead declares them rivals over sasuke's heart. the boy is not important here (haha, it always sticks out to me that when she asks him out before the chunin exams, sakura is more bummed about sasuke's assessment of her skills than his rejection). she doesn't even think of sasuke while fighting ino, lol -- she grandstands about how only she can "get him," but that's for the purpose of riling up ino, so that there's no chance she'll go easy on sakura. sakura wants to know, definitively, that she can match up to ino. and she does.

in light of all of this, people often say sakura had "no reason" to like sasuke -- after all, i did spend the entire last paragraph establishing that sakura's pre-series crush on sasuke was an immature infatuation that had nothing to do with sasuke and everything to do with ino. but, again, team 7 spent months together on a team and sasuke and sakura became actual friends! he was a good teammate to both naruto and sakura, if a little rough around the edges. i don't think it's implausible for sakura to develop real feelings for sasuke during this time. and if that is not enough, if you need deeper, thematically fulfilling reasons -- well, i sort of object to that on principle. i think friendship, having fun with one another, being at ease around each other -- these are all perfectly good reasons to fall in love with someone. and you may say that naruto also fulfills this criteria, but if sakura was physically attracted to sasuke and not naruto -- well, i think that's fine too, and it certainly doesn't warrant any moral judgment. people say often that sakura should have ended up with lee or naruto -- the first of whom stated outright that he loved her because she was beautiful, and the latter who introduced her as a "pretty girl" -- but whether their feelings are shallow is not endlessly dissected. (it's not narusaku or leesaku i protest to here, just the double standard)

but for the record, i think kishimoto did write in enough for us to understand why sakura would fall for sasuke in particular. i discussed this in another post, but alongside ino, sasuke sparked the most significant character growth for sakura. he was the first to make her reevaluate her treatment of naruto (and by extension, her rose-tinted view of the world), he was the first (and only) of their teammates to express disappointment that she wasn't investing in her own skills, he figured out when she felt insecure and reminded her of the areas in which she was more proficient than the rest of the team. sakura's initial idealized view of sasuke does not endure for a number of reasons, one of which is that the real sasuke actually expects her to hold her own and sees potential in her. for sakura, whose main motivation as a character is to become stronger for her teammates, this must mean a great deal! we mostly lose track of this element of sasuke and sakura's dynamic in part 2, which is a shame, but when she cracks open the earth with only her fist, naruto and kakashi are utterly astonished, while sasuke just smiles -- like it is no surprise, like she's been capable of it all along -- so there is that, i guess.

(and for more on thematically fulfilling, see this post on what i think could have played out if sakura were not relegated to a side character in all but panel presence in part 2. but really, i find it so interesting that sasuke and sakura both repeatedly have a lot of trouble suppressing their compassion to do what is expected of them as shinobi. apart from sasuke, i think sakura is also the only character to express that human life has inherent value -- at least, she says something along those lines when she fights sasori.)

anyway, post-forest of death, sasuke version 1 has pretty much dissipated in sakura's mind -- the only place he ever existed -- and sakura's treatment of sasuke changes further. she stops intruding on his physical boundaries, stops flirting, stops asking him out -- she's there for him, but as a friend first. she hugs him in the hospital, but that's not necessarily a romantic gesture (she's physically affectionate by nature, which is why she ambushes naruto with a hug in the same manner at the end of the pain arc) and sasuke finds it comforting (signalled by many things, chief among which is that naruto leaves the room after observing sasuke's face). and yes, she confesses to being in love with him twice afterwards, years apart, but that is only because she is extremely stressed and panicked and wants him to stay for his own (and the second time around, add in naruto's) safety. her first confession is too centered on her own feelings, while the second is just woefully oblivious (through little fault of sakura's -- she doesn't know why sasuke is so intent on destroying the shinobi world), but neither of them come with the condition of sakura wanting sasuke to stay only so he can be with her. sakura wants sasuke to be safe! she wants him to be mentally sound! she lets him know that she cares about him!

i absolutely need to reiterate: at no point in part 2 does sakura display any sense of entitlement to sasuke. she always pleads with him to stay, rather than demanding anything of him. and even in the privacy of her own thoughts, sakura ponders bringing sasuke back in a few contexts: she wants sasuke to be okay, she is so sorry for burdening naruto, she needs to help naruto, and if sasuke comes back, they can all be a team again. romance does not even enter her mind. it is such a willfully egregious misread of the text to say that she only wanted sasuke back so they could be together.

moreover, it is honestly just nonsensical to me when people say sakura wanted sasuke as a prize, because it laughs in the face of her entire character arc and completely ignores why her pre-series crush existed at all. back then, sakura wanted sasuke as a status symbol. as of part 2, though, he is decidedly not what konoha's society would see as the ideal man. in the eyes of the state, he is a wanted criminal. sakura, meanwhile, is a student of the hokage, one of the most skilled medics in konoha at the ripe age of 16, and one of the most powerful shinobi of her generation (a feat achieved entirely through her own labour). she has stood next to her teammates in battle and helped take down a literal god. she does not need sasuke to feel fulfilled. nevertheless, she chooses, every day, to care about him, even though it would be infinitely easier not to. and if sakura wanted to haul around a status symbol in the form of a boyfriend, if only to bolster her already impressive profile (which she would not. that's the point!) -- naruto, konoha's new favourite traumatized teenager, is like. right there. but sakura loved naruto before he was proclaimed a hero by konoha, just like she continues to love sasuke even though he is very far from the coolest boy in their class.

my feelings on chapter 699 are... mixed, because the way things resolve for sasuke is just so sad, but what we see play out between him and sakura is: 1. sakura asks to come with him 2. sasuke is 100% comfortable saying no (how do the "sakura forced sasuke to be with her" truthers reconcile with that one, lol) 3. sakura appears mildly disappointed but like. she'll survive. that's it. then he thanks her, taps her on the forehead (but promises he'll see her soon, in an inversion of what that gesture meant from itachi), and we leave them in a pretty hopeful place, all things considered. there's room for reconciliation, for growth, for love. (and i don't want to hear about post-699 because i don't care. i don't consider it canon, and pretty much no one on tumblr does either, except to occasionally shit on ships they don't like)

this ended up being way too long, but i want to say: if you don't like sasusaku, that's your prerogative. i'm not here to change your mind. i certainly think they should have been written better in part 2 (but i'd argue that, like, 99% of those issues are just a natural consequence of sakura being continually sidelined by the narrative, rather than problems inherent to the relationship itself). regardless, i think too often people let their opinion of a ship impede character analysis. to claim that sakura relentlessly propositioned sasuke and that she saw him as a prize does such a huge disservice to how much she has grown and what she has accomplished over the course of the series.

[givehimthemedicine]

🛁💧 Moms, bathtubs and fear of water

today I'd like to dig into some support for the Virginia/Henry/bathtub theory, most notably a Will/Henry parallel I've not seen discussed before, and some thoughts on the rabies thing.

for those just tuning in, we have hints that something awful happened involving Virginia, Henry, and a bathtub of hot water. (that idea is aemiron-main's, you can read the original here)

where there's a tub, there's a mom

let me start by seeing how many ST bathtubs can be tied to mothers. (much of this will have been pointed out before, but I have a couple observations I think are new)

starting at the top: Virginia's vision (turning on the hot water tap and spiders fill the tub instead of water):

Karen soaking in a hot bath listening to "Memories" before milfing it up with Billy, a minor, a boy her daughter's age. check

Will and Joyce "he likes it cold" you better believe that's a paddlin

we saw the Byers' tub before. when El saw it in the mirror (lol) and went to tell Joyce (Will's Mother) about her water tank idea. ok she was addressing the group but Joyce is the one who actually engages. I'm counting it. ps when they do set up the bath for El, Lucas uses a thermometer to make sure the water is the right temperature

this is a tiny one, but Nancy goes to sit on the tub and cry after excusing herself from Barb's mom at the KFC dinner.

that scene where El and Max find Billy's tub with ice bags?

darn, nothing immediately motherly in this scene. but what if we check the last dialogue in the prior scene? or the first dialogue in the following scene?

both hits! mom/age-inappropriate-sexual-knowledge + mother/son combo.💀

next up, FOR WHAT REASON was I made to see Murray get naked and get into a tub full of ice while on the phone with Joyce in 4x01?

let's also toss in a shot of Joyce being weird in her front yard, prompting a neighbor child to dispense a line of dialogue involving mothers.

but seriously. after all the flayed/ice tub imagery throughout s3, why kick off s4 with Murray in an ice bath? no, I'm really asking.

we've got a dash of sexual inappropriateness, or so Joyce thinks - Murray happens to plop into the ice at the exact moment that she observes the Russian doll has nipples, which makes her think his reaction is about that:

the only tub scene I'm struggling to tie super directly to mothers is Heather. you could say it's that Joyce appears in the next scene, but that's weak. or that Flayed Heather later drugs/kidnaps her mom. eh.

as em pointed out, the tub Heather's in here is extremely similar to Virginia Creel's. is that sufficient?

so anyway, some of those are def stronger than others, but they all provide some combination of: mothers, bathtubs (esp with attention drawn to water temperature), and fear/ sorrow / discomfort / sexual inappropriateness.

am I forgetting any other bathtubs?

now let's talk more about fear

what started me on this post was how possessed-Will's reaction to the bathtub is so explicitly labeled as fear - NOT by Will, but by Mr. Clarke's voiceover:

yet what sparked One's strength was a memory that made him "sad, but also angry" - which, if the implied tub incident indeed happened, would totally fit the bill.

sad and angry. not afraid. I guess it makes sense that fear isn't one of the emotions he would draw power from later upon recalling this event, but he undoubtedly would've been afraid in the moment. he didn't say that though.

not in that scene.

now, idk if he's referring to The Incident here, or his early lab life or what, but. oh I'm at my image limit. ok well his lines leading up to this are (close up of dead kids) "why do you cry for them, Eleven? after everything they did to you? you think you need them, but you don't. you don't."

why exactly would El "need" the other lab kids? according to NINA, they treated her poorly. tbh kinda sounds more like a projected reaction to the death of an abusive mother.

anyway. apart from that "I was scared once" reference to some past turning point, man will not say he is or was scared. he'll imply and project but he won't say it:

you know who else won't say they're scared? Will.

Will has never said once on the entire show that he's afraid. ever. throughout all the utterly HORRIFYING situations he's been in. he undoubtedly has been scared, and other characters say that about him many times, but Will has never said, in his own words, as far as I can find, that he's afraid.

he dances around it and veils it and teeters on the edge of it, but he will not actually say I Am Afraid.

"how did you feel?" "it felt like when you're scared" boy what.

but Will has not always been fearless!

wanna know what the very first mention of fear on the whole show is? Will assuring Joyce he won't have nightmares from seeing Poltergeist because:

is it not giving "I was scared once too" ?

now here comes my favorite part:

Joyce replies with the "my witch" thing, and she doesn't actually finish the sentence, but I think that last word can be guessed pretty accurately:

cook him up in your what?

your cauldron? cauldron, kôl′drən, noun: 1. A large vessel used for boiling?

so like... have I got this straight? our earliest flashback of Will involves his mother playing an evil character who's gonna put him in a large vessel of hot liquid?

I ask you again: is it not giving "I was scared once too"?

I'm tacking my red conspiracy yarn in at "Henry was five years old."

now, just wondering, what was the turning point that made Will stop having nightmares from movies and "getting scared like that"? Bob_one_day_the_nightmares_suddenly_stopped.wav

now let's talk about rabies

Robin proceeds to list some rabies symptoms and what's funny about that (besides the fact they're standing in a mysteriously dry lakebed) is she left out possibly the best-known symptom: fear of water.

in fact, rabies used to be called hydrophobia ("fear of water").

hydrophobia in rabies stems from paralysis of throat muscles making it difficult or impossible to swallow, and so sufferers will panic at the prospect of drinking or even the mere sight of water. excessive salivation + inability to swallow it leads to the other pop culture rabies symptom, the appearance of "foaming at the mouth".

pretend here I put in screenshots of El and Barb spitting up water when they wake up in the UD and that unnecessary shot of Billy drooling when El is levitating him

Robin's isn't the only reference to rabies on ST. it's come up in two other seasons:

so every time rabies comes up, it's in reference to demodogs, demobats, and flayed rats. all critters that are part of the hive.

ostensibly controlled by one guy, who is afraid of water.

misc honorable mentions:

what do you wanna bet Dart not only doesn't need water, but would hate water like he hates heat?

Dart grew up to be a demodog, and demodogs dug those tunnels - the ones Bob figured out were a map of Hawkins because the "roads" outlined recognizable bodies of water instead of crossing over them.

when Bob said that, he didn't know the "roads" were underground, and therefore it wouldn't be crossing over water but rather crossing through water. if your tunnel breached a lake or river, it would flood. the demodogs were avoiding water.

also: no one in the water, you say?

speaking of Hawkins Pool, there's also the thing I've mentioned before, how it seems incredibly relevant that One chose Billy as his s3 host - a lifeguard whose one possession-busting happy memory involved his mother warning him not to drown.

also: Hopper saying that jumping into the quarry would result in the water "breaking every damn bone in your body"

and Jason asks Patrick, right before Vecna breaks every damn bone in his body in Lovers Lake:

I'm going to think of more as soon as I hit post but that's all I have for you today.

I want real answers on the Murray ice thing btw

[terramythos]

MY TOP 25 BEST POKEMON

by popular demand, in descending order.

25. Galvantula

she is so fluffy. they somehow made an electric spider one of the most cuddly pokemon designs of all time. WOULD get a plushie of her if i am being fully honest.

24. Scyther

he's just some guy who is also a cool looking bug who also has swords coming out of his fucking arms. a rare example of a gen 1 pokemon design that is 'extremely based' and not 'extremely boring'.

23. Roserade

Roselia in gen 3 was such a meh pokemon, so giving it this unexpectedly cool Tuxedo Mask evolution in gen 4 was awesome. I will be fully honest that my favorite version of Roserade is the shiny because it gets black and purple roses. cool as fuck

22. Scream Tail

'what if we made Jigglypuff so so so so so so scary and it wants to maim and eat you now'. say no more

21. Calyrex (Shadow Rider i guess)

as someone who skipped pokemon sword/shield entirely, this design is actually some of the coolest shit i've seen. weird looking deer knight riding on the back of a ghost horse? actually stupidly cool they were really cooking with this one.

20. Grovyle

Every PMD fan on the fucking planet knows why I put this rando middle evo Grass starter on my favorite pokemon list. And they also know that i am objectively correct for doing so. no further explanation is needed

19. Decidueye

listen this is a fucking Ghost Owl Archer, what a fucking idea, it's cool as shit and we love Decidueye in this household. the best grass starter in the game and it isn't even close. despite me putting one immediately before it on this list. no notes.

18. Gastrodon

i love you gastrodon i love you sea slugs i love you having 2 different non-shiny designs/color schemes, i love you weird squishy suctiony cry/sound effects. gastrodon is maybe my best friend possibly ever

17. Ampharos

listen even if lighthouses were not a special interest of mine i would still love the weird electric lighthouse sheep. look at this guy. truly one of THE pokemon designs ever.

16. Chandelure

love this fucking thing it looks like a kingdom hearts boss. also ghost/fire is objectively one of the coolest type combos ever (foreshadowing is a literary device in which--)

15. Hisuian Zoroark

this is a prime example of how the regional variants in modern pokemon can completely improve on the original. the original zoroark is a pretty generic edgy dog. this is a new and much more interesting take in general, it makes its once gimmicky Illusion ability much more sinister and tied to its backstory/lore. also such a great color scheme, i love the weird almost fungal looking growths on it?

14. Furret

furret my friend furret. he is a tube and also my friend.

13. Noivern

this is a vampire bat dragon, potentially the coolest thing to ever exist ever. you agree. also i like the color scheme, purple/green/red aren't usually things i would put together but it works very well here

12. Iron Valiant

there is a tumblr post that calls this thing "so nonbinary it kills you" (or something like that) and holy shit are they right. what a cool mix of gardevoir and gallade's designs. plus making it a robot knight. cool as fuck, definitely the best paradox pokemon. and again, it isn't even close lmao

11. Mawile

i remember being a little disturbed and/or weirded out by this thing when i played gen 3. over the years it has grown on me so much. what a weird fucking design. i too want a giant mouth horn growing out of my head. bonus points to mawile for also getting a sick mega evolution that i am pretty sure broke the metagame for a while. lol, lmao even.

10. Clodsire

holy fucking shit it's clodsire. fuck yes. FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES what an incredible re-imagining of quagsire i love it so much

9. Froslass

imagine you're Glalie, the world's most generic and boring ice type of all time, evolved from Snorunt and already forgotten the moment you're introduced in gen 3. then gen 4 comes along and gives female Snorunts one of the coolest pokemon of all time as an evolution. truly THE most insane evolutionary glow up in the history of the franchise. anyway i love this thing, i love that she murders hikers and displays their corpses for people that's so cool i love you froslass congratulations on your transition

8. Hawlucha

LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD LUCHADOR BIRD

7. Espeon

definitely my favorite eeveelution, i love its simple design, the gem really ties it together. this is really one of those pokemon that feels like it'll be on your team for life. i will not elaborate on this

6. Bewear

i fucking LOVE this thing it makes me so fucking uncomfortable to look at. it has the best lore of any pokemon ever: it hugs people to death. god what a cool pokemon if it shattered my spine i would probably just say 'ok'

5. Floette

THIS IS MY WHITE WHALE, DUDE. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE SUPER POWERED X/Y MAIN STORY VERSION OF THIS THING BEING CODED INTO THE GAME AS AN EVENT POKEMON AND THEN GAMEFREAK NEVER RELEASED IT. despite my bitterness i love floette whenever i see it. one of the quiet joys of scarlet/violet was seeing this tiny thing chilling out in the wild. to me its face is like The representation of happiness. i have no idea why i love it so much but i'm just happy whenever i see it

4. Suicune

when i was little i was obsessed with this thing. i remember playing pokemon silver and being captivated by it. then i was THRILLED that of all pokemon they could pick they made it the mascot for crystal. when i went on road trips as a kid i would imagine this thing running alongside the car and had all sorts of mental AMVs with it. now that i am an adult and have had time to reflect on suicune, however, i have come to realize something: suicune is actually the coolest fucking thing ever and i was so fucking right all along about this

3. Hisuian Typhlosion

i loved typhlosion as a kid, and most of my attachment to the original one is probably nostalgia related. however, like hisuian zoroark, this is one of those designs that just genuinely improves on the original in every way. i have NO idea why they chose to glam up typhlosion so much in legends arceus but i am so glad they did. adding Ghost typing is such a strange concept on paper but they executed it SO well. i love its dopey little look. what a gem of a design to find so recently in pokemon's lifespan.

2. Alolan Raichu

the original Raichu has always lived in Pikachu's shadow-- it has a cool enough design, but no one is ever going to pay attention to it when it's prevo is literally the world famous series mascot. so i am THRILLED with what a great design Alolan Raichu has. it's so fucking cute, it looks unique while still being obviously tied to the original. i love that it looks like a pancake. i love adding Psychic type to it -- like with Hisuian Typhlosion, an odd idea in concept that works perfectly. i love that it surfs on its adorable, giant tail. GOD i love alolan raichu it is such a good pokemon

Flygon

i love flygon, it's a sand dragonfly that evolves from the world's most adorable antlion. this is an instant pick for my team in every game it's in. i love its dragonfly eyes doubling as sand goggles. flygon is so cool you can make the argument for Dragon/Ground/Bug triple typing, but Gamefreak are fucking cowards and will never do that. it is because they are afraid of what flygon would do with this power. YAY FLYGON