#this is just something i feel very very strongly about

[hottiesforhockey]

ho, ho, hoe ⎜m.barzal

🎄pairings: mat barzal x afab!reader 🎄genre: romance ⎜christmas special ⎜smut ⎜friends to lovers⎜ 🎄warnings: mat is in love and not great at hiding it ⎜alcohol consumption ⎜ drunk sex ⎜missionary ⎜p in v⎜pretty vanilla overall ⎜ marking/hickeys⎜ just a dude in love ⎜awkward love confessions ⎜very minimal smut tbh ⎜ 🎄synopsis: an accidental christmas hook up, becomes so much more when your hoe of a best friend catches feelings. 🎄word count: 5.2k 🎄authors note:  this is my first of several christmas fics - there will not be a part 2 but I hope you all enjoy!! christmas fic list

(unedited)

“Come on, you promised,” Mat said, his voice teasing as he nudged you out of the car. “It’s one party. You’ll survive.”

You glared at him, tightening your coat against the icy December air. “You ambushed me. I never said yes.”

“Details.” His smirk deepened, and you hated how easily it chipped away at your resolve. “Besides, you’ve been sulking at home for two weeks. Consider this an intervention. No one should be this much of a Grinch in December.”

It was impossible to argue with Mat Barzal. You’d learned that years ago. He had a way of wrapping his words in charm and layering them with just enough humour to get his way. It didn’t help that his ridiculous good looks made you forget you were supposed to be mad at him.

Mat was your best friend—the kind of friend who’d been there through every bad breakup, every celebration, every boring Tuesday night when all you needed was a movie marathon and pizza. He was also, as you liked to call him, a professional-grade hoe. Always flirting, always texting someone new, always shamelessly charming his way into trouble.

So, of course, it was Mat who had dragged you to this Christmas party. And of course, he’d conveniently forgotten to mention that the guest list included a suspicious number of his teammates, their dates, and not many people you actually knew.

You tugged your itchy sweater down and shot him a glare. “If this is your idea of a fun Friday night, I’m starting to question our friendship.”

“You’ll thank me later.” He slung an arm over your shoulder, steering you toward the door. “Trust me, you’re gonna have a great time.”

What Mat didn’t say—and wouldn’t dare admit—was that he’d spent weeks working up the nerve to do this. To spend more time with you outside the cozy bubble of friendship. To finally figure out if the feelings he’d been burying for years were one-sided or if maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way.

But Mat was a coward when it came to you. A hoe, sure. But only because it was easier to flirt with strangers than risk what you had.

Inside, the party was in full swing. Twinkling lights strung across the room, the faint scent of pine and cider in the air, and a playlist that was just loud enough to drown out awkward small talk.

Mat stayed close, his hand brushing yours as you made your way through the crowd. He didn’t miss the way you wrinkled your nose at the chaos, and his grin softened. “Alright, Scrooge. Let’s get you a drink.”

You let him pull you toward the kitchen, rolling your eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so insistent on dragging me out like this. Don’t you have ten other girls you could be charming right now?”

His smirk faltered for just a moment, so brief you almost missed it. “Maybe I like spending time with you.”

The words hung between you, light but heavy, before he quickly added, “Besides, no one else would put up with your terrible attitude about Christmas.” You laughed, and Mat felt the tension ease, though the knot in his chest didn’t loosen. 

One day, he thought. 

One day he’d tell you the truth.

The kitchen was quieter than the rest of the party, the hum of conversation and Christmas music muffled by the thick walls. Mat handed you a cup of something that smelled strongly of peppermint schnapps and took a long sip of his own.

“This is terrible,” you said after a cautious taste, wrinkling your nose.

Mat grinned. “It’s festive.”

“It tastes like someone melted a candy cane into rubbing alcohol.”

“Exactly.” He raised his cup in a mock toast. “Happy holidays.”

You clinked cups with him, rolling your eyes. Typical Mat—always the life of the party, always ready with a sarcastic comment or a sly grin to keep you on your toes. You couldn’t help but smile as he leaned back against the counter, his dark hair slightly messy and his cheeks already flushed from the heat of the room.

“So,” he said, tilting his head toward you. “Having fun yet?”

“I’ll let you know when it starts.”

He laughed, the sound warm and familiar, and you couldn’t help but join in. It was easy to relax around Mat, even in a setting where you felt like a complete outsider.

As the night wore on, the two of you lingered in the kitchen, your drinks steadily disappearing. Mat’s stories became a little louder, his laugh a little freer, and you felt yourself loosening up too.

“Remember that time we tried to make cookies in my apartment?” he asked, his voice slightly slurred.

“How could I forget?” You grinned, leaning against the counter beside him. “You set the oven on fire.”

“It wasn’t a fire,” he protested, gesturing with his cup. “It was a… controlled open flame.”

“Your neighbours didn’t think so.”

“Yeah, well, they hated me anyway.” Mat chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “But you stayed. Even when I ruined the cookies.”

“You had alcohol,” you said simply, and he laughed again, shaking his head.

“I mean it,” he said, his voice softening. “You’re always there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The sincerity in his tone caught you off guard, but before you could respond, he downed the rest of his drink and changed the subject.

“Okay, real talk,” he said, setting his empty cup on the counter. “What’s your deal with Christmas? Why do you hate it so much?”

“I don’t hate it,” you said defensively. “I just think it’s… overrated.”

“Overrated?” He looked at you like you’d just insulted his entire family. “You’re breaking my heart over here.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s fine. It’s just not my thing.”

“Maybe you’ve been doing it wrong,” he said, his grin lopsided. “You should let me show you how it’s done.”

“And how’s that?”

“For starters…” He reached over, tugging gently at the sleeve of your overused christmas sweater. “This thing has got to go. You look like a rejected elf.”

“Excuse me?” You stared at him, mock-offended, and he burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding! Mostly.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping slightly. “You’re the only person I know who can make something that ugly look good.”

The comment sent a flutter through your chest, but you brushed it off as just another one of Mat’s usual flirtatious remarks. He was always saying things like that—half-joking, half-serious—and you’d learned not to read too much into them.

Still, as the drinks kept flowing and the night wore on, Mat’s comments started to feel… different. Softer. More pointed.

“You know,” he said at one point, “sometimes I think you don’t see yourself the way everyone else does.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged, his gaze fixed on his cup. “Just that you’re… you know. Amazing. Like, actually amazing. And you don’t even realise it.”

You laughed nervously, unsure how to respond. “Okay, you’re definitely drunk.”

“Tipsy, maybe,” he admitted, a crooked grin on his face. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” Before you could press him further, someone burst into the kitchen, dragging Mat into a conversation about hockey and leaving you standing there, your mind buzzing as much from his words as from the alcohol.

As the night wound down, you found yourself back where you started—leaning against the counter, your cup nearly empty, with Mat by your side. The party had thinned out, voices from the living room fading into a low hum. 

He was quieter now, his usual spark mellowed by the weight of the night and whatever thoughts had been lingering behind his lopsided smile.

“You’re staring,” you teased, breaking the silence.

“Am I?” His lips quirked up, but he didn’t look away. “Maybe I’ve just got a lot to think about.”

“You need a brain for that” You hoped your voice sounded steadier than you felt.

He hesitated, his fingers tapping rhythmically against the countertop. “Like how you’re still here,” he said finally. “When you could’ve bailed hours ago. But you didn’t.”

“Maybe I’m a sucker for bad holiday parties,” you joked, but the warmth in his gaze made your chest tighten.

“Or maybe,” he said, stepping just a little closer, “you like spending time with me as much as I like spending time with you.”

It was the kind of thing he’d say all the time, casual and easy, except now there was something behind it. Something that made the air between you feel heavier. Charged.

Maybe it was the alcohol? 

Or maybe it was something you had been feeling all night - a shift. 

“Mat,” you began, but the words caught in your throat when his hand brushed against yours, tentative and testing.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmured, his voice low and serious now. “And I will.”

You didn’t. 

You couldn’t.

 Instead, you closed the space between you, your fingers curling around the front of his shirt to pull him down into a kiss. It wasn’t careful or calculated—just instinct, like you’d been waiting for this moment longer than you cared to admit.

His arms slid around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, and for once, the rest of the world didn’t matter. Not the bad music, not the overplayed holiday cheer, not even the fact that anyone could walk in at any second.

“Guess the party’s starting now,” he said breathlessly when you finally broke apart, his forehead resting against yours.

“Shut up,” you muttered, laughing as you pulled him back in.

Mat’s laugh rumbled softly against your lips before his hands shifted at your waist, pulling you even closer. The kiss slowed, turning into something softer, sweeter, but no less intense. His fingers traced light patterns along the curve of your back, and you found yourself melting into his touch, the rest of the room falling away entirely.

When the sound of voices drifted closer—someone coming down the hallway, loud and unsteady—you both broke apart, the spell momentarily shattered. Mat took a step back, his eyes lingering on yours, a sheepish grin playing on his lips.

“Guess we’ve got an audience incoming,” he said, nodding toward the approaching voices.

“Probably shouldn’t give them a show,” you replied, your cheeks burning. Your hands dropping to straighten out your sweater, your cheeks burning a bright red as you turn away from your friend - taking a few sobering breaths. You turn back to Mat slowly, your eyebrows lifting as you find him already staring at your, his cheeks burning as much as yours. 

“I don’t think I’m finished with tonight.” He says slowly - adding, “but I’m definitely done with this party.” His Adams apple bobbing as he watches your mind turn a hundred miles an hour. 

“Oh, well there’s a bar down the street thats usually open late.” You note, Mat’s brows furrowing as he shakes his head. 

“That’s not—,” Mat lets out a soft sigh, his smile soft on his face as he spits out, “I’m trying to ask you to come home with me.” 

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and electric, like a string pulled taut. You blinked, unsure if you’d heard him correctly, or if the adrenaline coursing through your veins was playing tricks on you.

“Home,” you repeated slowly, testing the word on your tongue. Your voice came out softer than you intended, barely audible over the distant thrum of the party.

Mat nodded, his gaze steady but vulnerable, like he was bracing himself for the answer. “Yeah. With me.”

Your heart hammered in your chest, each beat reverberating in your ears. The room around you blurred—the noise, the decorations, the faint smell of spiked cider—and all you could focus on was the way his thumb brushed against his palm, the slight twitch of his jaw as he waited.

This wasn’t like him. Mat, the always-casual, too-cool-to-be-flustered Mat, was standing in front of you looking like his world might tilt depending on your response.

You took a breath, your pulse skipping as you leaned in just enough that your words were for him alone. “Okay,” you whispered, the weight of the decision melting into something exhilarating as you saw his grin break through.

“Yeah?” he asked, voice quieter now, carrying an edge of disbelief, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah.”

His hand found yours again, this time with more certainty, fingers lacing through yours as he gave a gentle tug. “Let’s get out of here before someone stops us.”

You followed without hesitation, weaving through the scattered crowd, ignoring the knowing glances and side comments. The cool night air hit your face the moment you stepped outside, sharp and refreshing compared to the stuffy warmth of the party. Mat didn’t let go of your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a way that sent shivers down your spine.

And as he led you down the street, your hand still in his, you felt something settle in you, a kind of rightness you hadn’t expected and couldn’t deny.

The walk to Mat's place was quiet but charged, every step a wordless conversation. The city hummed around you—car engines purring in the distance, the occasional laughter spilling from a bar’s open door—but it all felt like background noise. The real energy was in the small, subtle touches: the way his fingers tightened around yours when your hands brushed, or the way he glanced at you when he thought you wouldn’t notice.

When you reached his building, Mat paused at the door, his free hand fishing out his keys. He hesitated, looking at you with a crooked smile, his breath visible in the cool air. “Last chance to back out,” he teased, but there was an edge of seriousness in his tone.

You rolled your eyes playfully, though your heart skipped. “Mat, if you don’t open that door in the next five seconds…”

His laugh was soft, barely louder than the jingle of the keys as he unlocked the door. “Alright, alright,” he said, pushing it open and holding it for you. “Come on in.”

The warmth of the lobby hit you immediately, a stark contrast to the chill outside. The building smelled faintly of pine—probably some festive candle someone had left at the front desk—and you followed him to the elevator, the silence between you comfortable now.

Inside the elevator, the closeness felt different. More intimate. The quiet hum of the machinery filled the space, but all you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat. You caught Mat glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, his lips twitching like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Instead, his thumb resumed its soft pattern against your hand, grounding you.

When the doors slid open, Mat led you down the hallway to his apartment. The tension built with each step, your stomach doing little flips as you reached his door. He unlocked it smoothly, gesturing for you to step inside first.

His place was exactly what you’d imagined—warm, lived-in, and distinctly him. The couch had a throw blanket draped messily over one arm, and a few mismatched mugs were scattered on the coffee table. String lights twinkled softly along the windows, their golden glow casting cozy shadows across the room.

“Sorry about the mess,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he shut the door behind you.

“It’s not messy,” you replied, taking it all in. It was charming, actually, and it felt... safe. “It’s nice.”

Mat exhaled a laugh, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he stepped closer, the space between you narrowing again. He reached out tentatively, his hand brushing your arm before sliding down to your hand.

“Still sure?” he asked, his voice quieter now, laced with something vulnerable.

You nodded, your fingers curling around his. “Still sure.”

That was all he needed. Mat pulled you in gently, his other hand finding your waist as his lips met yours. This time, there was no hesitation—no second-guessing. It was slower than before, but somehow even more consuming, like he was trying to memorise the feel of you, the way you fit against him.

One of mats hands reach up, tugging slowly on your hair scrunchie pulling it from the bun, letting your hair fall loose, his fingers playing with the strands as he leads you to his bedroom, his mouth never leaving yours as your arms loop around his neck. Mat’s lips make his way down your neck - pressing soft kisses as he tugs on the hem of your sweater, his lips only leaving your skin as he pulls the thick fabric over your head, his eyes immediately dropping down to your bra. 

“I’m about to fucking combust.” Mat groans, the two of you falling onto his mattress, your head buried among the pillows as Mat sits up on his knees, taking in the sight of you as he rips his own soft hoodie over his head, his hands reaching out for the button on your jeans. 

“God, you’re stunning.” Mat coos, as he slides your jeans down your legs, throwing them off to the side as he smoothes his hands down your body, his hands stopping at your knees as he pushes them apart, his body slotting slowly between them as he leans down to reattach his lips to your jaw - sucking harshly against the soft skin, a soft whine escaping you the blood rushing to the surface as an obvious bruise starts to form. 

“Perfect.” He whispers, against your neck as he picks a new spot and sucks again. 

“Mat.” You hiss, as his hand slowly dips in the waistband of your underwear, gently teasing your clit, his teeth skimming the skin on your neck as he pulls away. “If you don’t put your dick in me right now I swear to god.” You continue, your nails digging into his shoulders as he dips an experimental finger inside of you. 

Mat doesn’t need to be told twice as he makes quick work of his own pants, his cock painfully hard as it leaks with premium - his body leaning over your as he rifles through his bed side table. “Wrap it before you tap it.” He jokes, your hands pulling your own underwear down your legs, throwing them off to the side as you take in Mat. 

“Don’t ruin the moment.” You sigh, but your smile betrays your serious tone. You always knew the hockey player had a good body - his fitness levels beyond the average person, but seeing his stone cut figure was about to make you drool - your hands reaching out for him as he rolls the condom on his dick. 

“Tell me if you need me to stop.” He whispers as he crawls back on top of you, his body slipping perfectly between your legs, his lips pressing a soft kiss against your cheek as he lines himself up. His head dropping into the crook of your neck as he pushes in, his movements slow and purposeful as he lets you adjust with each inch. “Is this okay?” He whispers into your hair, his hips moving excruciatingly slow as he pumps himself in and out. 

He smiles as you nod, your lip trapped between your teeth as you let out a soft whimper, his hands placed on either side of your head as his movements speed up a little. “My pretty little pillow princess.” Mat coos, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair as the sound of skin on skin fills the room. 

“Fuck Mat.” You hiss as his pelvis brushes against yours, your cunt clenching around him - his hips stuttering as he lets out a low groan. 

“I’m close.” He hisses, your head nodding in agreement as your nails drag up his back tangling in soft hair, tugging lightly. 

“I need more.” You breath out, Mat eye brows furrowing as he lifts himself up slightly,  lifting a hand off the mattress, his fingers dipping between your body as he teases your clit softly. 

“Shit.” He grunt as you squeeze around him again, his orgasm being pulled from him as he bottoms out inside of you, his fingers still working on your clit until he feels you clench tighter around him, a long whine escaping you as you cum. Mat’s body falls against yours, the two of your breathing heavily as your fingers continue to scrape against his scalp, a please sigh leaving him as his body melts on top of yours. 

“Mat, I need to go to the bathroom.” You mumble, your eyes almost forcing themself closed as the heat radiating from your best friend tries to lull you to sleep. Mat lets out a grunt, lifting himself up just enough to capture your lips with his, his mouth spreading into a wide grin as he rolls off of you, discarding the condom as he lies on his back. 

“There should be your favourite stuff under the counter if you need it.” He says softly, his eyes already closing, “Come back to me quickly.” He adds, his arm thrown over his eye as his breathing evens out. 

You watch him for a few moments before dashing into his bathroom, facing the mirror as you take in your nest of hair and your flushed cheeks. “What the fuck did I do?” You sneer at your reflection, the bright red bruises on your neck sticking out like a sore thumb. You turn on the tap, using the cold water against your face before cleaning yourself up as quickly as possible, your frown deepening as you step out of the bathroom, Mat fast asleep in the bed, his body turned towards the empty space besides him. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you make your way over to the bed, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against his temple before pulling your clothes back on as escaping your best friends house. 

+

+

Three days passed quickly - your phone constantly dinging with a barrage of messages from Mat. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Your phone sat face down on the counter, Mat's unread messages and missed calls an ever-growing weight on your chest. You didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t know how to face him after what had happened.

Every time you closed your eyes, you could feel his hands on you, his lips against yours. The memory of his soft laugh, the way he had asked you to come back to him—it all made your heart ache. 

You fucked your best friend. 

And then you ditched. 

What if this ruined everything? 

What if he regretted it? 

You finally pick up your phone, glaring down at the messages waiting for you;

Matty ♥️: Hey, just wanted to check in, is everything okay? 

Matty ♥️:  I know this might’ve made things awkward but maybe we should meet up and talk? 

Matty ♥️:  I know you’re reading these, please answer me. 

Matty ♥️:  I miss you. 

Fuck. 

+

+

Mat was - rightfully - going out of his mind.

 He hadn’t heard a word from you—no texts, no calls. You were ignoring him, and it was eating him alive. Every time his phone buzzed, he scrambled for it, only to find some pointless notification or a message from someone who wasn’t you.

He couldn't get the memory of your touch, your laugh, or the way you had whispered that quiet "I'm sorry" as you left his place. That had stuck with him, playing over and over in his head. 

What were you sorry for? 

Leaving? 

Crossing the line between friends? 

Or something more?

Matty ♥️: I miss you. 

His most recent text. He’d sent it hours ago. 

No response. 

Again.

“God, what did I do?” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. You had been his best friend for years. He knew you inside out—or at least, he thought he did. But now, it was like there was this wall between you, and he hated it.

Mat stared at his phone, his leg bouncing with nervous energy. His apartment felt suffocating, every quiet moment filled with the phantom echoes of your laughter or the soft murmur of your voice. He could still see you everywhere—in the hoodie you had borrowed and never returned, in the stupid inside jokes you’d scribbled on his fridge, in the way his couch smelled faintly like your perfume.

The silence was driving him insane.

He stood up abruptly, pacing the length of the room. “Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing his jacket off the back of a chair. He didn’t even hesitate as he shoved his keys into his pocket and stepped out the door.

The drive to your place was short but felt agonisingly long. His grip on the steering wheel was tight, his mind racing with every possibility. 

What if you didn’t want to see him? 

What if this was it? 

What if you hated him for what happened?

But he couldn’t sit around wondering anymore. 

He needed to see you, to talk to you, to fix this—whatever this was now.

When he finally pulled up outside your building, the glow of your apartment light felt like both a taunt and a lifeline. He killed the engine and sat there for a moment, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat.

What was he even going to say? Hey, sorry I ruined everything, but also, I think I might love you? That sounded pathetic, even in his head.

But before he could second-guess himself, he was out of the car and heading toward your door. His knuckles rapped against the wood before he even realised what he was doing.

Inside, you froze. The sound of his knock sent a jolt of electricity through you. You hadn’t expected him to come here—not after how you had ghosted him. Your stomach twisted with guilt and something you couldn’t quite name.

“Hey, it’s me,” his voice came through the door, quieter than you’d ever heard him sound. “I—I know I should’ve waited for you to reach out, but... I can’t. I need to talk to you.” Your heart clenched. Part of you wanted to pretend you weren’t home, to let the silence stretch on. But the other part—the part that missed him so much it hurt—had already pulled you to the door.

You hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorknob. “Mat...” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll leave if you want me to,” he said quickly, his words spilling out like a flood. “But please—just tell me what’s going on. I’m going crazy over here.”

You bit your lip, a lump rising in your throat. The wall you’d been trying so hard to build was crumbling, and you didn’t know how to stop it. Slowly, you unlocked the door and opened it, just enough to see him standing there, his expression a mix of hope and heartbreak.

The sight of him made your chest tighten. “Mat...” you said again, your voice trembling.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, taking a small step closer. “For whatever I did, for whatever I said that made you leave. But you—you can’t just disappear on me like this. I need to know if we’re okay.”

And there it was. The question you had been avoiding. The answer you weren’t sure you even had.

You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his, and for a moment, everything else fell away.

“Are we?” you asked softly, your voice breaking on the words.

His brow furrowed, his gaze searching yours. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. “But I want us to be.”

And just like that, the ache in your chest spilled over, and the tears you’d been holding back finally came.

Mat’s expression softened immediately at the sight of your tears. His hand twitched like he wanted to reach for you, but he held back, unsure if you’d let him. Instead, he just stood there, the weight of your silence filling the small space between you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice cracking under the emotion. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to...” You trailed off, shaking your head as more tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Hey,” he said softly, stepping closer, his hesitation melting away. “You don’t have to apologise. I just—I’ve been losing my mind not knowing what you’re thinking. If I pushed you too far, if I—”

“It’s not that,” you interrupted, your voice firm despite the tears. “It’s not you, Mat. It’s me. I... what if we made the wrong choice?”

That stopped him. His brows knit together as he studied you, his confusion clear. 

You sucked in a shaky breath, trying to gather your thoughts. “What if we ruined everything? What if things will never go back to how they were before? You’re my best friend, Mat, and I don’t—” Your voice broke again, and you bit your lip hard, willing yourself to keep it together.

His eyes widened slightly, something soft and vulnerable flickering across his face. “You think I don’t feel the same way?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You stared at him, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. “I don’t know,” you admitted, the words barely audible. “I don’t know what to think. I just know I can’t lose you.”

He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair as his gaze dropped to the floor. “You’re not gonna lose me,” he said finally, his voice steady but thick with emotion. “But, God, you’ve got to stop running away from me. From this.”

“I don’t know how,” you confessed, your voice trembling.

He looked up at you then, his eyes filled with something that made your chest tighten. “Then talk to me.”

Before you could say anything, he closed the distance between you, his hands finding yours with a gentleness that made your breath hitch. He held them tightly, grounding you in the moment.

“I don’t regret what happened,” he said firmly, his eyes locking onto yours. “Not for a second. And if you think for one minute that I’d let that ruin what we have, then you don’t know me as well as you think.”

His words hit you like a wave, crashing over the fear and uncertainty that had been suffocating you. You searched his face, looking for any trace of doubt, but all you found was sincerity.

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” he admitted, his voice soft but unwavering. “But I’m not scared of ruining what we had because what if I want something more?” He pauses taking in a deep breath, “What if I want you?” 

The tears came faster now, but they felt different—lighter, freer. You didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t say anything. Instead, you did the only thing that felt right.

You stepped closer, your hands slipping from his to cup his face, and kissed him.

It wasn’t rushed or frantic like the first time. It was slow and tender, filled with everything you hadn’t been able to put into words.

When you finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing hard. “Don’t run away again,” he whispered, his voice shaky, “Please.” 

“I won’t,” you promised, your voice steady this time. “I won’t.”

[callme-holly]

Hi!!! i was wondering if you could do gang x reader where they always come up with the most biazzare but funny insults on the dot. like i mean telling someone who was rude to them they have the hairline of the golden gate bridge, the build of a dented refridgerator, etc. etc. and they just pull this shit out of normal and usually uses it in playful banter feel free to delete / setaside / ignore if you want! have a lovely day!!!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤-𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - im back y'all. just a reminder than my requests are still open!!

The gang x quick-witted!reader

Darry Curtis:

Darry seems like the kinda guy who would try his hardest to keep a straight face when you joke/insult someone, but most times he can’t help but crack a small smile. The first time he heard one of your insults, he couldn’t help but laugh, because it was the most random shit he’d ever heard. If y’all are in public, he’ll try to shush you, or keep you somewhat calm to keep the insults at bay, but he loves hearing what you can come up with on the spot, and he’ll probably tease you for it later on.

Sodapop Curtis:

Soda LOVES your insults. They will make him double over laughing every single time, no matter what it is. The first time he heard you insult someone was when they’d pushed past you at the DX; he was so ready to defend you when you just pulled out the wildest comeback known to man. He was stunned for about 2 seconds before both of you were in fits of laughter and the person walked out without a word. 

Ponyboy Curtis:

Pony would probably get some second hand embarrassment, but he’d still love every little insult that comes from you. You don’t exactly hold back when it comes to people who have annoyed you, and most of the time he’ll just let you ramble/hurl whatever insult you can think of without stopping you. Most of the time he’ll just look away, trying to hide his smile so he doesn’t get in trouble for it. He probably admires your lack of shame and, because we know he’s sassy as hell, he’ll probably steal a few of your insults to use on his brothers and the gang. 

Johnny Cade:

Much like Pony, Johnny strongly admires what little shame you have. If someone shows even the slightest hint of rudeness towards either you, or Johnny, you’re shooting some crazy insult straight back like it’s a first language. You don’t even need time to think. He’ll give small laughs and will break out into a smile at every single one before following after you when you walk away, not even looking back at the person. You definitely help to give him confidence boosts and he loves that. 

Dallas Winston:

You and Dally are a dangerous combo when it comes to insults. The shit the two of you will say is so crazy that most people can do nothing but laugh because it’s so out of the blue and random. The first time Dallas heard you insult someone, he just grinned and wrapped an arm around you. He was pretty damn proud to say the least. After that, it became a challenge of who could come up with the best insult towards the other, and people very quickly learnt to never mess with either of y’all.

Steve Randle:

Steve is pretty much your partner in crime when it comes to insults. He loves listening to you rattle off the craziest, most absurd shit everyone has ever heard, and most of the time he’ll join in to. He’ll laugh everytime you hit someone with something especially wild, and if anyone ever dares talk back, Steve’s got five more insults locked and ready to go. He’ll always defend you, but it doesn’t take long for him to realise you can definitely hold your own. 

Two-Bit Mathews:

Two lives for your insults. To him, it’s literally peak entertainment and you’ll have him rolling with laughter every damn time. Thing is, he isn’t just cracking up at you’re insults; he’s hyping you up, egging you on, and throwing in his own little comebacks when necessary. Most times, he doesn’t even care who your target is, he just loves listening to you. And once the two of you get started on someone, it’s a one way ticket to a roast so bizarre that even the person y’all are insulting has to laugh it off. All in all, Two-bit loves your creativity, and sometimes envies how quick you are to come up with something. 

[your-unfriendlyghost]

So I’ve been working on a group project at school with this group of three girls. (They’re like already an established friend group, I just joined because my friends wanted to do I project about video games and honestly I’m a video game hater) Now that’s all fine and whatever- I have a lotta friends who are girls so I figured there was nothing too different here. But istg these girls keep telling me stuff that “girls do/like” that I have never heard of?? I’d wonder if they’re fucking with me, except that they’re so earnest about it that it doesn’t seem like a joke 😭

For example, they told me a bit ago that “You boys don’t understand how much scent matters when it comes to girls liking you.” And at first that made sense- I mean yeah duh hygiene is important. Showering is important too. Fine. But when I said that, they all shook their heads.

“No,” one of them clarified matter-of-factly, “we mean like base scents. Your natural scent.”

So I was confused, obviously, because I have never heard of this??

Apparently what they meant was that everyone’s got a distinct scent, and that -allegedly- girls can tell what it is. I was still confused. Like ik about natural body scent and whatever but I didn’t think it smelled like anything in particular except for like…sweat, yk? But no, apparently it’s very complex and well-known and “You don’t get it because you’re a man. See look, Lyn smells like mango and fruit. This is an example of a ‘heavier’ scent. People with heavier scents tend to be attracted to people with heavier scents too. Smell her wrist.”

It smelled like wrist. I am so confused.

“Now Casper, you smell like cinnamon and warm spices. That’s pretty good. You should use spicy and woodsy-smelling colognes so that it combines well.”

I smelled my wrist- it smelled like wrist, not cinnamon. And “combines well” ?? Huh?? Genuinely, is this like a thing people actually notice that I just…haven’t heard of?? I really doubt they’re bullshitting it because they went really in depth and seem to really believe it- are they just living in a parallel universe where that’s common knowledge??

I mean this is just one of many similar instances. Some others include “Girls like guys who have long hair and think all guys with short hair are ugly. Not you tho Casper because you have wavy short hair and that’s different!” and “Girls don’t feel pain as strongly as guys do, which is the biological tradeoff for not building muscle as fast” and “Men know they have problems but don’t fix them. Women usually don’t know when they have problems, but when they do, they try to fix them.” To most of these I’ve said some variation of “What?” or “huh?” or “I’m pretty sure that’s just y’all specifically,” but they usually say it’s true and like. Well-known?! Idk I think they’re gaslighting me and/or maybe themselves?? Or am I just really unaware or something??

[sburb2official]

okay

fueled by a combination of vanilla jim beam and boredom:

in order of blood color:

1. Gravix Alocri, fuchsia: doesn't actually stink. usually. typical smell is beach + sugary ice pops + sunscreen because Juluno (his roommate/moirail/big brother figure/secret service guy) insists he wears it. when he does stink, he smells like raw fish because that's what he eats when he's down in the sea

2. Fenlin Lomeni, violet: Absolutely reeks of tequila and fruity spicy perfume. it'd be a fine scent if she didn't fucking douse herself in it to cover up the tequila smell

3. Lasven Vonova, purple: Cologne. Way too much cologne. Wears the cheap shit because he's trying to impress his lowblood friends and just ends up looking like a dweeb. That and the stale smell of a music recording studio that hasn't been cleaned in weeks

4. Zazilo Calune, purple: ... blood? something subtle but unpleasantly metallic. and leather. doesn't quite stink but doesn't smell nice to anyone but Tharni, his matesprit

5. Juluno Nemeno, indigo: Actually smells very nice. Like an appropriate amount of expensive cologne, good dark roast coffee, and fresh laundry. Quite particular about keeping himself clean to set a good example for his hyperactive trainwreck of a royal moirail

6. there is a cobalt but I don't know who she is yet. she has yet to appear in my brain, you feel

7. Klikai Possen, teal: Awful. Horrible. She's a hacking nerd who hides in her rats nest of a room researching aliens, making strange posts on strange forums, crafting the finest joke viruses, eating ramen, and farting. bonus points: unwashed socks

8. Maiyun Omaoka, jade: girl is a pastry chef so you would think she'd smell good. she doesn't. Smells like a messy kitchen and troll weed that she's definitely absolutely not putting in the pastries. Not the worst stink but she puts off showering to do her baking

9. Caiver (uhhh what's their caste name), olive: kind of stinks, kind of doesn't. Smells very strongly of incense, the "book glue" scent but musty and not nice, and unidentifiable herbal liquids. plus a tinge of unwashed hair. but it's usually pretty good sage or cinnamon incense

10. Vrexil Amiani/Isarva, lime, claims to be jade: basically no smell. it's weird. she smells like nothing other than a barely detectable whiff of wherever she's been hiding, which isn't always a pleasant smelling place

11. Jlarin Avarin, gold: 10/10 Worst Stench Award winner. Bro smells like a world of warcraft player. Doritos, sweaty headset, sour gaming chair, nasty socks, mountain dew, dirty clothes, and pure concentrated negativity . room frequently featured on r/neckbeardnests. Dude, take a shower. Please . I'm begging you.

12. Chacie Nalash, bronze: motor oil, paint thinner, electricity, gross work boots, mild bad breath, and beef jerky. she's a technician and mechanic. somehow Fenlin is her moirail. how the fuck

13. Reltha Lemarr, rust: vodka and infrequently washed clothes, but not as infrequently as Jlarin's clothes. has a permanent reek of cheese puffs floating around her. just very greasy, salty, sweaty. she would wash more if her sheer stink didn't piss off her rival Lasven so much. she stinks to spite him and his shitty pop punk 2005 hot topic SoundCloud rapper ahh music

14. Tharni Pravna, rust: REEKS of blood. All colors. insists they have different flavors and smells. The fuck does she do, bathe in everyone's blood? it's on her breath. why is it on her breath? (plus an undertone of ginger ale)

TW. YAPPING!!!!! and i think i say cum once or twice probablie

TGE TROLLS WOULD NOT SMELL GOOD !!!!!

i feel like at most they smell neutral??? or however tf bugs smell

but especially like while and before they play the game?? at the very least they dont smell traditionally nice.

they dont smell like flowrrs and nice things

ESPECIALLY NEPETA!!!! SHE SMELLS LIKE DEAD THINGS MOST OF THE TIME!! SHE STINKS OF ANIMAL AND BLOOD AND SWEAT AND SHE DOESNT SHOWER SHE LIVES IN A CAVE

like no hate to the person who said she would smell like sour candy but like….. why?

i feel like if the troll blood castes were scented, olive blood would have a more natural scent and they wouldn’t be sweet

AND EVEN THEM SHES STILL STINKY!!!!!

the meowrails stink. i love them. but they stink.

equius smells like BO and motor oil and nepeta probably smells like cat piss.

ALSOOOSODOSOSOSO i feel like it’s really weird when people imply or headcanon that the trolls have flavored cum?? like tht feels weird

i feel like even if they did it probably wouldnt be human flavors like chocolate

i dont even wanna think about what i think their cum would taste like tho so im not even gonna try to form an opinion. you do u mann(or do the homestuck trolls ig bc clearly thats ur thing)

UH

i mean clearly not all of their smells are unbearable because clearly the humans dont mind it too much(or at least dont say anything) but also a lot of the biggest offenders are dead so

gamzee smells like drugs. and. dead trolls.

he’s the only i can maybe see smelling sweet because of all the faygo

ik if they were humans they would stink too

like vriska would lie about taking showers i just know it. vriska would drench herself body spray and claim she showered.

trolls wouldn’t smell sweet at the very least

they come from murder land

they don’t smell like vanilla dream

[nekrosmos]

questions about nikolai and price (originally from an ask meme about original characters but i wanna hear your thoughts):

what do they want to hear?

what do they need to hear?

what do they dread to hear?

Thank you for the ask !! I honestly struggled with the answers, I'm not the best at deep character introspection so this really had me scratching my head. I hope what I came up with makes sense !

What do they want to hear?

Nikolai: "I trust you."

Nik is intimidating, isn't he ? Intelligent, strong, well-connected Nikolai. People know that. It usually takes only a half a second glance to know that you do not want to be on this man's bad side. He's used to it, really. But how many times as he entered a room only to see people shift uncomfortably, suddenly very aware of his presence? He makes people uneasy, whether he wants it or not. It's fine when he's on an op and needs to be menacing, but it gets old quickly when he just wants to relax, sometimes.

He's trustworthy, despite his shady dealings, he's loyal. Thankfully, a handful of people know that.

Price: "You made a difference"

Yes, his hands got bloody, but it was all worth it in the end, right? He saved people by pulling the trigger when it needed to be done. No hesitation, it's what the world needs. So what if he can't sleep at night and his file is covered in black ? He made a difference, the rest, he can live with.

What do they need to hear?

Nikolai: "You need to think of yourself, too."

Nikolai puts others first, this has always been true. He likes to help out, likes to feel useful, ready to answer a call. Loyal to a fault, devoted to his friends. But when was the last time Nik put his needs as a top priority ? Has he ever done that ? He has no trouble flying to the other of the planet at a moment's notice if someone asks him to. How many nights of sleep has he missed because someone needed a hand? How much time has he spent fixing up his helo because it got banged up the last time a friend needed transport in hostile territory ? It's always others first, never himself, and he needs to be reminded of that.

Price: "You matter."

It's easy to forget that you're someone when you've been used as a weapon since you were 16. You forget that you have a purpose outside of your work, too. You forget you're a human first, with needs and wants and desires. You are Captain John Price, but you are also just John Price, and he matters too.

When he comes home for a break, what does he see outside of blank walls and a barely lived in house he never really took the time to make his ? It's temporary, he thinks, he doesn't really live here.

Maybe John needs to be reminded that he exists outside of his work.

What do they dread to hear?

Nikolai: "You don't belong here."

From either side. I think Nik feels strongly about his relationship with his home country, how he's been working against it and how his actions might be perceived by his countrymen. I think he's scared of losing this part of himself, and being rejected, even though all he's done was in the name of his country.

And then on the other side, Nik knows he stands out, knows people see him as a "could have so easily been the enemy" kind of guy. People like him, sure, but how many, aside from Kate, John and Gaz actually trust him ? Everyone else sees him as useful, but ultimately, they still look at him with a suspicious eye.

Where is home for Nikolai, really ?

Price: "You failed them"

Losing people, he's used to it. It never gets easier though, does it? Men and women under his command, people he's known for years, people who trusted him, friends. But, there is something entirely different between losing someone when you did everything you could have done and it was the way it was supposed to go, and losing someone because of your mistake. He failed them, he knows that, and it haunts him.

[aihoshiino]

Imagine if things never went wrong between Ai and Hikaru, and they ended up getting married and raising Taiki together alongside Aqua and Ruby?

i feel so sorry for all the anons who send me cute prompts and then get responses like this lol

SO!!! To be very clear anon, this is not me being Mad At You and while I do 100% sound heated and mad in this response this is because this is something I feel pretty strongly about but haven't really had an outlet to explain lol. But I actually personally really hate the trend in fandom of portraying Taiki as being raised by Ai and Hikaru in hypothetical happy end AUs and I don't think people are REALLY actually thinking about what they're presenting here.

Like... Hikaru is a rape victim! Taiki is a child produced by Hikaru being raped, as a child himself no less! He did not consent to that pregnancy! Hikaru is not Taiki's father in any sense but the purely biological and he clearly does not have any positive or fatherly feelings for him - his absolute meltdown at Airi and Uehara's funeral is implicitly triggered by the sight of Taiki and his continued existence being a symbol of Airi's violation of him. And if 15 Year Lie is anything to go by, we have every reason to believe that Airi was not above weaponising the fact of her pregnancy to make Hikaru feel complicit in and eternally soiled by what had happened to him.

I hate resorting to this kind of rhetoric but imagine for a second that we were talking about a female character here - you immediately, instinctively recognise how utterly insane it would be to present "raising the baby she was forced to conceive with her rapist at age 11" as a happy end for her so why is Hikaru not given this same grace? What happened to Hikaru is not any less traumatic or less of a violation just because his rapist was the one who got pregnant.

To be clear, it's not like I don't understand where this comes from - this setup tends to exist in scenarios where the characters are uncomplicatedly healed and happy and this also applies to Taiki. His life is so goddamn miserable that I understand the instinct to want to put him in what we know is a happy family and to imagine him, too, as happy and loved there.

But what happened to Hikaru and how Taiki was conceived are topics that cannot and should not be made uncomplicated. I can understand a discomfort or reluctance to engage with the topic of CSA even in a purely canon typical context but the solution to that is not to just handwave it away and refuse to think about its implications when directly engaging with the character who is a CSA victim. I think it's shockingly irresponsible even in just a fandom context to portray "raising his rape baby" as a happy end for Hikaru or to present even implicitly the idea that he has some kind of obligation or fatherly duty to Taiki, a child who was conceived without his consent.

[sunnie-angel]

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

Part 4: Long Distance

fem!jason todd x fem!reader summary: jay's gone on a trip and you miss her tags: light angst, sexting, unresolved sexual tension rated explicit (mdni)| wc: 0.7k a/n: this is a bit of a tease BUT it's a two parter, so the UST does get resolved in next week's update

series masterlist

It’s been exactly two weeks, six days, and 18 hours since Jay left on some case she couldn’t tell you about. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere you expect, considering how spotty her cell service has been. You’d managed a single phone call that had dropped in the middle of a sentence, her face frozen on the screen as you’d tried to tell her how much you’d missed her. It’s the longest Jay’s been away since she’d come to your rescue in that bar so long ago.

Five days into her absence, two before the disastrous phone call, you’d started dreaming about her. Slow, sweet, syrupy things more memory than fantasy. Dreams that have you waking up reaching for the cold side of the bed and aching between your legs. The blankets don’t smell as strongly of her anymore. But Jay will come home, eventually, and the bed will be warm again. You just have to bear with it until she does.

It starts innocently enough. A picture of you stealing the book off her bedside table, cosied up in bed. Her replies had been slow – something about signals having to travel further in space? – but the evidence that she had missed you curled something warm in your gut. Jay responds more frequently to pictures than to texts, you discover, and so you start to send her little snapshots of your day. The day’s first cup of coffee in the ugly mug you insisted she buy at the thrift store. Mountains of laundry slowly getting conquered. How your makeup hasn’t budged after a full day at work. When they eventually come through, Jay’s responses make you smile, bite at your bottom lip as you hastily type out your own reply.

It’s that feeling, that horrible churning ache of missing her and the champagne bubble glee at seeing her affection for you spelled out so clearly, that drives you to it in the end. To send her the picture. Sleep mussed and pouting, very clearly wearing nothing but one of Jay’s button downs, undone of course. Just enough skin on display to be a tease, the bruises she had left on your body clearly fading. You had sent it with shaky hands, but the few days without a reply have you rethinking your decision. Every notification on your phone has you scrabbling for it, desperate to see her reaction. When it comes, it has you rubbing your thighs together in anticipation.

Jay <3: aww does my baby need to get fucked?

The marks don’t feel like anything anymore when I touch them, you type out, face filled with an unholy glee utterly inappropriate for a workplace. You’re already starting to get wet, a conditioned response to that particular mocking tone Jay always uses right before she makes you see stars. It takes a couple of minutes for her next message to come through.

Jay <3: gonna put my teeth in your throat and make sure your cunt remembers exactly who it belongs to

Jay <3: better start planning to call out sick because I’m gonna keep you on your back for days once I’m home

You shiver at that, already longing for her touch. Almost three weeks without her skin on yours and you’re ready to lose your mind. Nothing feels as good her – her fingers, her mouth, her strap – a bone deep kind of hunger you haven’t been able to satiate on your own. With a mumbled excuse to your coworker, you scurry to the bathroom, slamming the lock behind you. Shove your wet panties around your knees and angle them so that the shitty fluorescent lighting picks up just how shiny and wet the cotton gusset is. You snap a single picture, sticky panties framed by your splayed knees, and send it before you can change your mind. Slip two fingers into your wet hole and fuck yourself to the thought of Jay marking up your pretty skin again. As keyed up as you are, it only takes a few curling thrusts to get you over an unsatisfying edge.

Making use of the tissue paper thin toilet roll, you clean yourself up as best as you can before handing back to work with a smile. You don’t check your phone until after your shift is over. There’s only one message:

Jay <3: I’m gonna make you fucking scream

[that-starry-sky]

‧₊ ᵎᵎ ☁️ MINE AND YOURS ๋࣭ ⭑

SYNOPSIS: basically a small series of relationships of different characters

Character: Diluc Ragvindr — Genshin Impact

[Strongly OOC, I tried to make it fit the character as much as possible.)

THE BEGINNING

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ First of all, Diluc is a closed person, he doesn't really let anyone get too close to him, perhaps his servants would be the closest thing to a family. I would say that Diluc's trip made him not know how to talk to the people he had contact with without it being awkward.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Not to mention the problems he may have, things like insecurities, trust issues, maybe fear of abandonment and he may or may not a dubious depression It would be difficult to get close to Diluc, you would have to be very persistent to get close to him.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But if you are persistent enough and give enough trust for him to deign to allow you to be closer to him, it would still be a something, You might see each other more often when the tavern is closed and then Diluc will allow himself to be a little more vocal, But it doesn't say much either

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I wouldn't have much to say about this stage, since I feel that it would be the same as in the game when Diluc enters the scene, Distant but always willing to help those who were once closest to him and who he possibly considers his closest, but it is a complicated situation.

THE BEGINNING OF THE PRE-COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ When Diluc begins to feel things more significant than those of a simple friend, I would say that he would feel conflicted, his insecurities, his fears would trap him like a rabbit in an open trap. He wants to go with you but he's afraid that the trap will close and he'll end up more hurt.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows he is handsome, his name has influence and above all, his money, He notices how the maidens presented to him at parties do not look at him for what is behind his appearance, name and fortune. It is a reality that he has already accepted and that he and other aristocrats face.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that his dreams of meeting a girl, falling in love and marrying for love when he was a young boy are nothing more than distant and childish dreams. But now with you in the photo, that conflict floods his mind, It doesn't leave him alone between the decision of taking a risk and loving or not.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that love challenges you to too many things, loving means changes, time and dedication, It challenges you to care for others and if you are not able to do so, maybe you are not as ready for love as one thinks.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He is willing to do that, to face the challenges that love would have for him, At least he believes that if it is for someone he treasures, it is worth the attempt and the risk.

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It was late at night, he had arrived from his job as a night guard in Mondstadt, tired and a little hurt but nothing really serious other than arrow scratches and some scrapes, He was dressed in more casual clothes than he naturally wore. He was cleaning his heavy sword while thinking about his heart.

He knows that his heart is his greatest enemy. So many feelings can leave him exposed to things that would hinder him in his work... But it felt good, too good to just let it go.

Could he really let his heart rule his mind for once in his life? Let himself be vulnerable and let you see what he's really like? Let you see his insecurities, fears, would you accept him if he let you see that? That without money, power and influence he would be nothing more than a broken man with many defects.

Even though he was afraid to do it, he wanted to.

He wanted to be with you, through thick and thin, to be able to hold your hands when you're cold and to be able to dry your tears, Even if the thought of just seeing your face stained with sadness hurt.

He is willing to embrace you with all the love he can give, to give it to you on a silver platter, He just waits for you to be willing to let him hold you and love you, He expects that and that you return that and that it is sincere, not something fake just to say "look at me, I'm dating Diluc Ragvindr, The uncrowned king". you're not like everyone else (you're not, I hope...)

He followed leaving sword finally, clean and ready for the next night, soon went to the window, seeing the starry night, Thinking about what he should do, he wants to court you, but he doesn't really know how.

He knows the basics yes, but after his 3 year journey and too much time alone he really lost a lot of his social skills, Minimal does the essentials for the formal, but you are more than a formal occasion.

That night he lay awake, not fighting monsters, but thinking about how he should approach and court you.

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PROPOSAL OF COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I feel like Diluc at this stage would be somewhat indirect, testing the waters a bit with small, anonymous gifts to see if it's the right time to go direct, Make clear your intentions with you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here it would depend too much on your reaction to the gifts, depending on that, Diluc may or may not delay his courtship, He really wants to play it safe, at least at the beginning of this, Then he would be encouraged to be more risky when he gains more confidence.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is happiness, intrigue and even excitement for each gift, he would feel too happy internally, now thinking about directly going to you and letting you know that he wants to court you. And if possible, be able to establish a loving relationship

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is neutral, annoyed, or even displeased for each gift, you may be perpetuating his insecurities further and his direct courtship may not come until much later. (He's little one, take care of him)

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first, he will directly send you a letter that is perhaps too formal and elegant to ask your permission to openly court you, Being clear with you, Ready to give you his feelings, his heart was in a state of uncertainty as he waited for your response.

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With trembling hands he left a letter at your house, his grip was so strong that he would be able to tear the paper or even burn it with his vision without meaning to.

He was scared, the night guard who went through hardships at a very young age was scared by a simple letter, but he could afford it right? For at least this moment.

Without thinking too much, he left the letter that had a scented envelope and the stamp that made it clear that it was from Dawn Winery, He soon retreated to a distant place but had a view of your house, he did not like the idea of doing this but if you reject it, At least he will be able to mentally prepare himself before you come with him.

He watched as you walked out, noticing his letter, his heart tightening as he watched you carefully open the letter and begin to read.

“For [Y/N]

It may be a bit strange that you receive a letter, but I thought it was more appropriate, since possibly if I had you in front of me the words would not come out of me no matter how much I wanted to say them.

Actually, in order not to make this long, I will go straight to the point.

This question has been haunting me and I thought it appropriate to finally reach out to you and ask. Would you allow me to court you?

You know, court you directly and see if something more blossoms between us, if you are willing to accept my proposal and let me get closer to you, more than friends.

I will wait for your response patiently, take the time you need.

Sincerely, Diluc Ragvindr”

As the redhead watched your eyes pass over his words with enviable calligraphy and something too elegant, maybe he worried about it too much, But he really cared now what you would do now that you had reached the end of his letter.

He was only able to see how you brought the scented envelope to cover your face and how you apparently smiled while you smelled the envelope softly. Apparently you were happy with his proposal.

He only hoped that it would be like that and that it would be the beginning of something more beautiful and meaningful for both of them.

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COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ At this stage Diluc would be more than dedicated, fulfilling what he promised, because of how he was educated he was obviously a gentleman and respectful, It is impossible for me to treat you with less than the greatest respect

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Sure he would be shy and a bit rough at first, but the more and more time he spends with you, the more he will warm up and everything would be really sweet.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also that at this stage despite doing everything directly, he really wants to keep it as private as possible, he knows that if he says something it will spread like wildfire and everything will burn.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ It's not something that really bothers you either, at the end of the day, in his empty tavern he's really cute, Or even when you escape from Mondstadt for a bit to wander through the beautiful meadows of Mondstadt

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I really don't think he has anything new to add for this phase other than what has already been said about him, quite a gentleman, shy but cute...

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It was late at night, Diluc was having dinner in his office while thinking about the best way to woo you and be able to have a chance at a relationship with you, His mind was full of doubts, something unusual for someone as sure of everything as he was, what should he do?...

The door to his office opened after a few knocks, the blonde-haired maid, Adelinde, entered with a tray of tea and desserts, Smiling softly as she greeted him.

Adelinde left the tray, she was going to leave but. —Adelinde, wsit— The young master suddenly said, stopping her.

—Yes, Master Diluc? What do you need?— The maid turned around, facing him and waiting patiently for the redhead to continue, although she noticed that he was... nervous?

Yes, he was nervous and hid it very well, but after so many years working alongside Diluc, she knew how to read him perfectly, even if he hid his feelings very well, Even from its employees-

—Do you have any advice for courting someone?— his eyes sparkled and his cheeks blushed. —There is a person I want to court, but I really don't know what is the best way to do it, can you help me?— His eyes desperately searching for help with her, like a baby duck searching for its mother.

The maid's eyes were wide in surprise, not believing what she was hearing, The young master, Diluc, the closed-off and mysterious man from the vineyard, in love?!,Who is this and what did he do to Diluc? Bring him back!.

Leaving the jokes aside she smiled while her eyes sparkled, Diluc was waiting for her answer to his big question, Adelinde was the closest thing he had to a mother, he supposes it is a good idea to seek her guidance.

She soon sat down in the chair on the other side of his office desk, excited by this situation.

The night passed between food and tea, Adelinde asked everything, when and how he met you, Soon she gave him advice and guidance to help the young lover.

Now we just have to wait for the moment when she sees you holding hands.

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RELATIONSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here you enter a more dense and personal environment, when you accept that proposal of love, accepting to be his partner, his love, you reach a higher level of intimacy, vulnerability and fear.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ This stage is where I have the most to say to be honest, because I would like to go deeper here.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Be prepared to be this man's safe place when he can't walk because of his nocturnal activities once he tells you about them, You'd better leave the window open enough so he can get in without waking you up, Although in the morning you will meet a hugging bear

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In these vigilante activities that he does, it is impossible for him not to get hurt, a constant but inevitable concern, It will be normal that if you are awake when he comes to you, you will have to help him.

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Another difficult night, they managed to give him some good blows, and more than grazing him with arrows and more, apparently there were more enemies this time, the more tired he was, the more difficult it was.

But it was something that no matter how tired or damaged I was, I had to do, so that Mondstadt could sleep peacefully, so that you would be fine, He will die in the dark if necessary.

Although if he thinks about it, he would prefer to see you one more time before he dies, the moment where he has to be buried before his time comes to his mind, Hopefully at least he'll have a photo of you when he's buried.

A photo so that he doesn't forget your features that he memorizes and traces every night, so that he isn't afraid of being down there, meters underground, To be able to go in dreams with you and thus be able to feel more alive, That's what he expects and they do, of course, if he dies before his time.

But right now he can't allow that, he got up and walked with too much pain in his body, too much pain and even burning, He slowly went to Mondstadt, he couldn't go to his vineyard, so he went straight to the safest place he knows.

After a painful walk he finally reaches your door or rather your window, he climbs in, his body being in too much pain to climb properly, But when he arrived the only thing he didn't take into account was that you were awake, Seeing how his body was about to collapse.

He just felt your arms wrap around his larger body that trembled gently, feeling you finally felt good, he relaxed but his body relaxed so much that he let his tiredness win

You only saw his face, somewhat dirty with dirt and somewhat scraped and leaning on your chest as he slept peacefully after going through hardships, He looked like an innocent child who was seeking refuge in the arms of the person he loves most, you.

You knew his story, how he was technically taught to be a gentleman in his younger years, not to be running the vineyard, even when he was deep in depression.

It is a shame that he lived through things so young that were too heavy and that he did not have to go through, he deserved to continue being a gentleman and he deserved to continue having his father, But life had other plans, plans too cruel that took away his smile and innocence.

Plans that took him on a journey where he was alone, fending for himself, where his hands became more calloused and where his innocence fell to pieces, Only to come back, be replaced and actually be even lonelier.

For tonight now you would have to take care of this young man who carries too many responsibilities, too heavy even for his biggest and strongest shoulders...

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I think at some point in the relationship, maybe 1 or 2 years, maximum 3 or 4 years, he would invite you to live at his vineyard, His feelings and thoughts would depend a lot on your answer again.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you accept, it would be nothing new, Diluc would feel happy and excited to be able to live next to you and the move would really be quick.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you decline his invitation he will only become shy and apologize for his hasty request, although his heart would be somewhat disappointed.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Again, assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first one, Your life would change noticeably but not so drastically, it's not like your life would turn 180 degrees 5 times, As much as possible, it would be largely the same

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The most significant thing would be that Adelinde would treat you as if you were her daughter, I have the thought that Adelinde is very maternal, Not only with Diluc but also with the rest of the staff, she is motherly but strict.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ So considering that, expect the blonde maid to treat you with too much love and motherly affection, The morning will be pleasant even if Diluc could not accompany you for breakfast, Adelinde was there to talk to you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The rest of the staff would be the same, although to a lesser extent, everyone would be happy to have you there and it is more happiness when they see the love between you and the young master.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although the best mornings are when he can be with you until he leaves, without any intervention from anyone, just you and him.

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You woke up, it was early in the morning, too early, early enough for you to see how the blue barely filled the room through the windows, you turned around, somewhat annoyed by your early awakening.

Although when you turned around and could see better, you saw how your lover was at the window, looking at the sky with something illuminated.

You smiled sleepily. —You know, it’s too cold without you here Luc.— The tired voice caught the attention of the redhead who immediately turned around and smiled, a smile just for you.

—I'm sorry, I didn't think of that.— He approached the bed as he spoke, climbing onto the bed, resting his head on his arm as he hugged you with the other arm. —Let me warm you up then— He said affectionately.

He hugged you, making your head rest on his chest while he covered you with the thick, soft blankets, He began to tenderly ruffle your hair while giving you kisses on the forehead, his pyro vision doing a perfect job warming you up.

Between his caresses, his kisses, his soft heartbeat in your ear like a lullaby, Its warmth causing sleep to attack your body again to take you back to the world of dreams.

He held you against his chest gently as he let you sleep leaning against him, being able to see your peacefully sleeping face, running his fingers over your face softly, Trying not to wake you up.

Tonight he will take care of you and protect you while you sleep, Just like you did and do.

Although looking at your face he can see everything he fights for at night, so that you and the inhabitants of Mondstadt can continue sleeping peacefully, And he will fight for that every minute of his life if it means that you and his beloved city are okay.

And he is so grateful to have someone who greets him with loving words and not silence, Someone who hugs him with warm arms instead of the cold wind, just as he has someone who caresses his wounds and scars and does not make them deeper.

He is a lonely knight, who longs for the dawn to appear on his dark path, but it will never do so, he is eternally condemned to this darkness.

But with you by his side, that darkness is more bearable, even in his deepest darkness, you with your warm, orange light illuminate that darkness to which he is accustomed.

Just you and him, Together

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Naturally when he can't be with you he always leaves you a note and a flower promising to return to your arms as soon as possible, Telling you to stay safe and that Adelinde is there if anything happens.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ With his staff, of course, you spend the most time, whether it's chatting with Adelinde while she cooks, Have friendly conversations with Elzer, although sharing moments of a younger Diluc, just don't tell him

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ You would also have afternoons where you would help old Tunner with the grapes while he tells you things about his son and stories that he has for you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Even Charles joins this list, being that sometimes you go to the tavern even if Diluc is not there, just to make conversation with him and help him a little.

‧-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In themselves they all loved you and respected you and they would enjoy the little moments, they are also happy that the Diluc who always looked sad, At last he has someone waiting for him and with whom to return.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Finally, Master Diluc had someone to call family.

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The mornings were calm and normal, the sun was warm and the clouds did not make an appearance, Adelinde was taking care of the flowers outside while watching them out of the corner of her eye.

You and Master Diluc under a tree together, chatting and laughing, she can't remember the last time she saw Diluc smile so sincerely and so lovingly.

It was incredible how you made your way into his frozen heart and how you took care of that heart that, although hard on the outside, was soft on the inside, Longing for someone to hold him with as much love as you do.

Adelinde smiled softly as she watched them being little love birds.

The love you and he had for each other was evident, as pure and sincere as it could be, She knew it because she had seen it, how you hugged Diluc in the living room while he was relaxing after his activities.

She had seen how he put a lot of effort into every gift he gave and even in the soft and delicate way he spoke to you, Even as he feared that some gift you might not like, which was always an unnecessary fear.

She smiled softly as she saw them hugging under the tree, young Diluc looked more relaxed, without worries or tensions that made his body really straight, it was simply a nice moment between a young couple who loved each other very much.

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although nothing could be all positive, rosy, just as you had nice and happy moments, you also had bad moments, moments where you argued, arguments are normal, But painful

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also accidentally that pain could increase because of things that should not have been said, things that crossed the line of what should be said in an argument, Things that hurt deeply

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ For the two of you, that rule was no exception, many times you said things just because of the tense moment, Stupid things.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But with the same love that you showed each other when you were well, you could cope...

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It was very late at night, how much? You don't know, that doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that a few minutes ago you were arguing with Diluc, for something stupid now that you think about it coldly, A misunderstanding that escalated to too much...and now? You hurt Diluc with words, words you didn't want to say but your subconscious won over.

God, they were so cruel that you can't even remember exactly what you said, you only remember Diluc's pained face, as well as his beautiful eyes that you loved to crystallize and fill with tears, Only those tears never made their way down his cheeks.

Now he was out in the open somewhere, Fighting monsters maybe, but you couldn't help but worry about him, especially after this.

You knew that you had no right to feel bad, you hurt him in the first place, but you didn't ask to avoid feeling guilty, A feeling that spread from the depths of your heart until it tightened your throat and almost prevented you from breathing.

The hours passed without you noticing because of the repetition of that moment, the blue morning dominating the room, cold passing and freezing you. Diluc would be hugging you if he found you like this, since he always tried to come back a little earlier, But not today, not now...

You came out of your trance hearing the door of the room, turning to look, you saw that person you were thinking about so much, Only now she was disheveled, polite and somewhat sore, apparently he was more careless during his hours of surveillance.

You got out of bed gently as he entered just as gently, your bare feet touching the cold floor, taking a small step closer to him, Only his sudden glance at you made you stop, They both looked at each other, Tired and clearly regretful eyes looking at his more serious but still crystallized ones.

You approached him gently and not abruptly, making sure he could predict your every move. You knew he was hurt and distressed but above all scared.

You just raised your hand to his cheek, though not touching it, you just waited for his movement, letting him decide... Sooner or later he leaned completely on your hand, Like a kitten looking for warmth.

Your eyes watered, and you hugged him just as he hugged you, as tightly as you, He began to tremble as he let the tears he had been holding back come out like rain on a cold day.

You just stayed hugging him while you caressed his back, trying to comfort him, now you had to be strong and above all, recognize and apologize.

—I'm really sorry... I shouldn't have said that, I didn't even have to if I was too angry, You don't deserve to be treated in such an ugly way, much less when you tried to explain it to my stubborn head.— With a somewhat broken voice you asked for forgiveness, while you continued to hug him.

He gently pulled away to look into your eyes, seeing in your eyes that you were truly sorry and that you truly sought his forgiveness, He nodded, accepting them, although at bedtime he wasn't in the mood to hug you and you understood that.

It would take a little less than a week for them to fully reconcile, but the hardest thing would be sleeping without him hugging you.

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P.S.: I feel that it was somewhat empty and without exploring too many things, but what do you say?

[kooldewd123]

revisiting digimon as an adult, it is incredibly striking to me just how strongly adventure and 02 contrast against each other in their views of technology. despite releasing only a year apart from one another, they fall on opposite sides of the millennium - 1999 and 2000, respectively. and because of that separation, being a year apart yet divided across a thousand-year boundary, they have a weird dynamic when held up against each other. the digital world is clearly a representation of the internet, the digital age, the rise of technology, whatever you wanna call it. in digimon adventure, the digital world is a frightening place. there's something hollow to it. it's filled with technological relics - payphones that spout only nonsense, power lines that lack any cables, factories that create and then disassemble the same odd shapes in an endless cycle. these were the modern marvels of the time, and their existence here in this broken state asks the question of whether they have a future in the coming age of the internet or if they'll instead be replaced by newer, better, digital inventions. although the series ultimately offers an optimistic view of what the future holds (represented by the digimon themselves), that feeling of uncertainty and trepidation underlies the entire journey, reinforced with every new out-of-place landmark the digidestined reach.

and then we reach 02, and the entire perspective completely shifts. what does the future hold? well, we're in the future now! 2002, baby! the digidestined have traveled the digital world and befriended many of its inhabitants. it's no longer foreign and dangerous, but familiar and comfortable. the new digidestined don't approach it with the same terror the original cast did; rather, they see it all as a big game from the very start. it all feels very reflective of how, as home computers became more widespread and people became more familiar with them, so too did we see a rise in online entertainment. the best way i can describe the feel of 02 is "early-to-mid-'00s browser game." the show just bleeds this very Y2K, almost frutiger aero sort of aesthetic. tk and kari's outfits are comprised of saturated, contrasting colors. the original digivices already look outdated next to the new D-3s, with their smoother, more plastic-y designs. instead of the plain rectangular crests, the digieggs all have sleek, curvy shapes to them. veemon and his armor digivolutions simply feel like browser game mascots in a way that i can't properly describe. i typically don't like to compare digimon designs to other franchises (i've seen enough comparisons to a certain other monster-collecting franchise already), but demiveemon practically looks like a goddamn neopet to me. it all collectively feeds into this new-millennium optimism you can feel at the core of the show: the internet is fun, it's exciting. we're at the cusp of a generation who will grow up never knowing a non-online world, and we are the trailblazers who get to define what that means. as opposed to adventure, which trapped its characters in the digital world for most its runtime, the characters of 02 are allowed to freely travel between the two worlds with only a few narratively unimportant limitations. adventure uses the digital world as a vessel to ask the question of what the future of technology looks like, and 02 then tries to offer an answer by telling a story about the real world and the digital world evolving in tandem with one another, each shaping the future of the other. the show is in constant dialogue with itself as these two themes collide.

[suzy-queued]

Art Tag

Thank you @deathclassic and @doshiart for tagging me!

How did you start drawing? What year was it that you become more seriously and consciously interested in it?

I always drew, and didn't think too hard about it. I chose art electives whenever I could in middle and high school. I specifically chose to NOT major in art in college because "I need a real career." Joke's on me ... I ended college with a degree in fine arts/illustration.

When you felt the urge to share your art with other people? When did you start posting your drawings on social media?

I shared art with friends pre-internet. We'd pass images around at slumber parties and draw art as gifts. I posted online for the first time in the late 90s, illustrations for horror stories that I drew.

Your first/earliest drawing. What were your impressions of it back then and what are your feelings now?

I was always meant to be an illustrator rather than a straight-up artist. Here is a book I created in 1981. I loved it! My spelling wasn't bad for being 6 years old.

Your first fanart ever 1986. This image from Poltergeist II. I flipped to the back page of my sketch book and drew it in secret.

Your first gallavich fanart Kinktober 2021. Charcoal and spray paint.

When you had bad days and things didn't work out, what inspired you to keep trying? I think it was the confidence instilled in me by a supportive family. I never felt like a bad day meant doom and gloom; it just meant things weren't working that day. I don't have qualms about throwing out a piece that isn't working and starting over.

Show your old piece that you strongly dislike and tell why. I don't hang on to pieces that I dislike. They've vanished in time.

Show your old piece that you very like and tell why. What's the difference with the previous? I drew this with colored pencils in 1988. I was proud of how closely it matched the album cover.

Show your old piece that you were very proud of back then. This is one of my first horror story illustrations, for "That Hell-Bound Train" by Robert Bloch.

Do you do any practice sketches or warm-ups before you draw something big? Sure! Here are a few.

Sketch vs Final. Show your process. This is from the Big Bang 2021, for Lem's story!

Your most recent drawing. (Everyone has seen this already -- LOL)

Give yourself some praise! Look at what improved in your art! Do I have to? I don't like to compliment myself because I'm still learning, even after all these years. I can draw more photographically now, but I was looser/freer in the past. Who's to say which is better?

Any advice you'd give to your earlier self? Never stop taking figure drawing classes!

Set a goal for yourself for the coming year. To not let the doubt creep in and keep pushing boundaries. To develop more of a personal style.

Tagging some of my favorite artists ... @deedala @michellemisfit (thinking of you babe!) @vintagelacerosette @darthvaders-wife @heymrspatel

@gallawitchxx @filorux @crossmydna

[formulatrash]

I never really know how to even talk about this because it's such a completely batshit experience that like, no one really has? so it sounds completely insane and also like, what the fuck am I even really complaining about? but I've been, obviously, getting a lot of abuse online for a very long time now. I was trying to work it out and I guess it has literally been 10 years, although it mostly ramped up in 2018 (I am, you may be slightly surprised to know, the worst misogynist in motorsport for taking the radical stance that grid girls are not treated very well or paid very fairly; citation me having been one)

and idk, I sort of had a meltdown about it today. like why the fuck does anyone even know who I am anymore enough to hate me? why the hell did anyone feel this strongly about me in the first place? it's not like I was on Sky all the time or something, how the fuck did people even know I exist enough to work up this sort of sentiment.

some of it's mediocre, boring shit about how I don't respect Alonso or whatever and some of it's just incredibly racist (not generally about me) and some of it's these rambling screeds about how I need to be dismembered and raped that are really graphic and kind of disturbing. which is all whatever. but then some of it's this really in depth, gleeful hate that's so targeted it's like I'm these people's actual frenemy you love to see fail.

I don't look at it often but for some reason I did and it's just absolutely surreal that people are that fucking obsessed with me ever having had a job in F1 they're still doing this. does my head in if I'm perfectly honest! dunno how many bartenders have to contend with the delights of knowing there's a fucking wikifeet for them out there and getting emails taking specific delight in how they don't have a job they used to anymore.

[loopy777]

Have you read the preview pages for Ashes of the Academy? Any thoughts so far? The thing which stands out to me so far is that Hicks's Ursa seems significantly different from Yang's Ursa. Also they're randomly making Mai strongly anti-imperialist (is that something that she's supposed to have developed in Smoke and Shadow?).

I try not to draw conclusions from preview pages because they're deliberately presented without context, and these especially aren't a continuous batch. And they're definitely not the finished versions, as Ursa's dialogue includes an out-of-universe author's note. XD So my thoughts are probably dissatisfying right now.

My main thought, though, is that they're setting up a conflict between Mai and the Headmaster Lady about historical propaganda, but Mai is so hardcore with her position that it feels like the story wants her to learn A Very Special Lesson and compromise in some way. Perhaps she'll need to use more discipline but mix that with more truthful, relevant lessons.

Or I suppose it could just be about her fighting The Power and winning the day for Truth. But I don't feel like they've made the Headmaster Lady evil-looking enough for that kind of thing. Maybe she'll reveal fangs and laser eyes later. Or they'll tweak Mai's dialogue.

As for Mai, I don't see her saying anything that wouldn't go with having been Zuko's girlfriend and Aang's friend for a year. Smoke & Shadow had her working against Zuko's enemies. And she never presented any kind of logic for why she thought her weird dad would have been able to protect Tom-Tom from ghosts, so I think that part was just supposed to be completely irrational anxiety-based weirdness.

But I admit I've largely let myself forget the details of Gene Yang's comics, so maybe Mai had a moment in there where she was more ambivalent about Fire Nation history. If those comics have to be some kind of canon, I consider them in a 'broad strokes' kind of way and take Faith Erin Hicks' stuff as badly-needed retcons in terms of characterization.

[the-one-and-only-taffie]

dude it's like you and I shARE THE SAME BRAIN LIKENASKJAMA AHHHHHHH

I have already gathered so many other headcanons about them and even a possible scenerio/fic type of deal, but I shall save those for another time

Anyway, the main deal about these two is that as much as they liked to pretend, they don't actually love each other. Main reason, they are at a point in their lives where they aren't capable of it. Sentinel cause he's looking out for #1. White because she doesn't have the experience, knowledge, or probably even the ability to love in the way necessary for a functional and fulfilling romantic relationship.

What the two see in each other isn't someone they would want to spend the rest of their immortal lives with. Hell, they don't even like each other most of the time. They just see each other as a way to boost their own egos and prove to themselves their inherent superiority. Sentinel is very aware that he only sees White as an item to bolster his status, especially when he has to legitimize his rule after betraying the Primes. However, he can't help expressing fondness for her, even if it's only when she does or says something that makes him look good in front of the populous. White, however, genuinely believes she loves Sentinel. Her love language is bringing out the best in people by correcting what she believes to be their flaws. This is what she did with The Diamonds, especially Pink, and it's what she'll do with Sentinel. She knows the way she treated them was wrong and that this exact habit of hers is what led to Pink running away. This is why instead of fixating on Sentinel's flaws, as you said, she'll instead shower him with compliments and encourage the behaviors she believes is good. She doesn't at all see how this isn't better. She's doing the same thing again in a different coat of shiny paint, but hasn't yet introspected and noticed this. So she keeps on, even when it drives Sentinel to madness and brings out the worst in White.

When you mentioned that she "proved herself to be terrifying when mad," I immediately thought about a scenario where they're arguing as usual, Sentinel is fed up with White's "critiques" while White is acting like the bigger person and speaking to him like a detached, observant therapist who is only missing a writing pad and a pen. Sentinel in his foolish hubris goes for a cheap shot, maybe pointing out that she failed her own family. White in what feels like an instant, her face goes completely red and she unleashes her temper in one fit of rage. She goes off the deep end and woaaaaah the look on Sentinel's face would be priceless! Her booming voice echoing off the walls, her stomping the floor so hard as she paces around the room making it shake like an earthquake (cyberquake?). Honestly the poor bot would be knocked over by the force of White's scolding alone and she'd still keep going. Once she's done, she'd go back to being calm like nothing happened and she'd go "Whoops, hehe, sorry you had to see me like that. What I meant was I thoroughly understand you and acknowledge your input. However, my dear, I strongly disagree. I still respect you and what you have to say. I didn't spook you too much, did I?" And Sentinel is trembling as he slides himself off the floor using the wall like "Oh, nah, I'm fine, totally ok, yup, great discussion there, haha, but i got a meeting to go to so im going to go like now" and once he's back on his pedes he books it out of the room. Sentinel makes a mental note to never piss her off that badly again. White Diamond continues on as if she didn't just scold her boyfriend like an impudent child.

On a more wholesome note, YES YES DOUBLE DECKER YES to Sentinel taking White Diamond to the surface of Cybertron! She asks many questions about it, some he doesn't provide answers to for classified reasons. Speaking of classified reasons, Sentinel always has Airachnid and his drones accompany them in secret to notify him when Quintessons are near and to help him steer her clear of anything incriminating. As she enjoys the view, White laments how in her empire's conquest to spread her view of perfection, she destroyed so many beautiful sights like the one she sees on Cybertron. Sentinel tries to cheer her up by telling her the planets after being colonized by gems must look just as wonderful, if not more, than the way they did before. She just says she appreciates his attempts at comfort, but she says she's learned better than to find beauty in the destruction of life. Sentinel rolls his eyes. I bet in White's attempts to come off as humble, she frequently dismisses or shuts down Sentinel's compliments, especially in regards to her past or the parts of herself she believes are flaws.

But yea on the more silly side I find it so funny how their attraction to each other supercedes their incompatiblity. Like "This glitch/clod is annoying but at least she/he is hot" LMAO. The only time they seem to be at their most functional is when they're chilling together in silence.

Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!

Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)

So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!

I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol

For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.

Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!

As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?

Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.

Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.

Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around them.

Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White in her patience era takes the compliment for what it is.

The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.

He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if a attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.

Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.

Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting offending others.

She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.

Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for her advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior of what she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe at best or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.

This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can get, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.

In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.

They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.

They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it

[teamsasukes]

ok in my opinion, many things are wrong with the idea that sakura viewed sasuke only as a prize to be won to boost her self-worth; that when it comes to sasuke, she's forever frozen in time as a 12-year-old girl who can't see beyond his good hair and great grades. this post is my attempt at thoroughly unpacking and refuting that notion

when we meet sakura in part 1, she is obsessed with societal standards and her admiration for sasuke is almost entirely rooted in that. he's the ideal future husband -- from an ancient clan, stoic, intelligent, skilled, and by sakura's own description, "cool" -- these are things that she has been conditioned to want! so this is the sasuke that she envisions, until...

until they get put on a team together, and sakura gradually comes to realize that perhaps sasuke is not what she's made him out to be in her mind. he talks about crying, about being afraid. he's paralyzed with fear in their first mission. naruto may very well be stronger and more capable than him! oh, and sasuke gets into silly fights with naruto all the time. none of that is "cool." suddenly he seems less like the ideal future husband and more like a real person with flaws and baggage of his own.

that sakura's view of sasuke changes is so apparent through how radically her behaviour around him shifts between the early formation of team 7 and the chunin exams (and any point after). sakura goes from being unable to listen to a bad word about sasuke (maybe even the ones that are deserved) to defying him when she deems fit. she even praises naruto at his expense, because societal views are not at the forefront of her mind when it comes to the two boys anymore -- they're just naruto and sasuke. they're her friends! she goes from calling kakashi out for bad-mouthing the uchiha clan because she's doesn't want to risk sasuke getting mad at her, to calling naruto out for a similar statement, not due to personal involvement in the equation, but simply because it's not right.

and people typically agree with me up to here. it's when we get to sakura cutting her hair in the forest of death that opinions diverge, and some people tend to think that sakura should have "gotten over" sasuke to propel her character development forward. i don't necessarily find this reading invalid -- it's certainly a more straightforward direction for her character to take. sakura's goal was sasuke, now sakura's goal is to be strong. the problem is that there was always more nuance to her goal of winning sasuke's heart than people afford it in fandom discussion, and similarly, i don't think that the progression needed to be as clear-cut as "sakura gets over sasuke" to still be meaningful. in this case, i feel like people's expectations about what should have happened following this scene might preclude them from seeing the growth that this moment did produce.

sakura cutting her hair in the forest of death is the critical point her arc built up to for all of part 1. sakura is insulted by the sound nin for pouring so much time into her appearance when her training is clearly not up to par, and she cuts her shiny and perfect hair in a declaration that she will no longer derive her self-worth from the validation that would come from romantic attachment (to sasuke, or anyone else). instead, it will be from standing shoulder-to-shoulder with (or even ahead of) her teammates in battle -- so that she can protect them rather than the other way around. then the flashbacks during her fight with ino make it explicit that sakura has wanted to become a skilled shinobi -- one who could match up to ino -- all along, but since that is not a socially acceptable goal from a girl, she instead declares them rivals over sasuke's heart. the boy is not important here (haha, it always sticks out to me that when she asks him out before the chunin exams, sakura is more bummed about sasuke's assessment of her skills than his rejection). she doesn't even think of sasuke while fighting ino, lol -- she grandstands about how only she can "get him," but that's for the purpose of riling up ino, so that there's no chance she'll go easy on sakura. sakura wants to know, definitively, that she can match up to ino. and she does.

in light of all of this, people often say sakura had "no reason" to like sasuke -- after all, i did spend the entire last paragraph establishing that sakura's pre-series crush on sasuke was an immature infatuation that had nothing to do with sasuke and everything to do with ino. but, again, team 7 spent months together on a team and sasuke and sakura became actual friends! he was a good teammate to both naruto and sakura, if a little rough around the edges. i don't think it's implausible for sakura to develop real feelings for sasuke during this time. and if that is not enough, if you need deeper, thematically fulfilling reasons -- well, i sort of object to that on principle. i think friendship, having fun with one another, being at ease around each other -- these are all perfectly good reasons to fall in love with someone. and you may say that naruto also fulfills this criteria, but if sakura was physically attracted to sasuke and not naruto -- well, i think that's fine too, and it certainly doesn't warrant any moral judgment. people say often that sakura should have ended up with lee or naruto -- the first of whom stated outright that he loved her because she was beautiful, and the latter who introduced her as a "pretty girl" -- but whether their feelings are shallow is not endlessly dissected. (it's not narusaku or leesaku i protest to here, just the double standard)

but for the record, i think kishimoto did write in enough for us to understand why sakura would fall for sasuke in particular. i discussed this in another post, but alongside ino, sasuke sparked the most significant character growth for sakura. he was the first to make her reevaluate her treatment of naruto (and by extension, her rose-tinted view of the world), he was the first (and only) of their teammates to express disappointment that she wasn't investing in her own skills, he figured out when she felt insecure and reminded her of the areas in which she was more proficient than the rest of the team. sakura's initial idealized view of sasuke does not endure for a number of reasons, one of which is that the real sasuke actually expects her to hold her own and sees potential in her. for sakura, whose main motivation as a character is to become stronger for her teammates, this must mean a great deal! we mostly lose track of this element of sasuke and sakura's dynamic in part 2, which is a shame, but when she cracks open the earth with only her fist, naruto and kakashi are utterly astonished, while sasuke just smiles -- like it is no surprise, like she's been capable of it all along -- so there is that, i guess.

(and for more on thematically fulfilling, see this post on what i think could have played out if sakura were not relegated to a side character in all but panel presence in part 2. but really, i find it so interesting that sasuke and sakura both repeatedly have a lot of trouble suppressing their compassion to do what is expected of them as shinobi. apart from sasuke, i think sakura is also the only character to express that human life has inherent value -- at least, she says something along those lines when she fights sasori.)

anyway, post-forest of death, sasuke version 1 has pretty much dissipated in sakura's mind -- the only place he ever existed -- and sakura's treatment of sasuke changes further. she stops intruding on his physical boundaries, stops flirting, stops asking him out -- she's there for him, but as a friend first. she hugs him in the hospital, but that's not necessarily a romantic gesture (she's physically affectionate by nature, which is why she ambushes naruto with a hug in the same manner at the end of the pain arc) and sasuke finds it comforting (signalled by many things, chief among which is that naruto leaves the room after observing sasuke's face). and yes, she confesses to being in love with him twice afterwards, years apart, but that is only because she is extremely stressed and panicked and wants him to stay for his own (and the second time around, add in naruto's) safety. her first confession is too centered on her own feelings, while the second is just woefully oblivious (through little fault of sakura's -- she doesn't know why sasuke is so intent on destroying the shinobi world), but neither of them come with the condition of sakura wanting sasuke to stay only so he can be with her. sakura wants sasuke to be safe! she wants him to be mentally sound! she lets him know that she cares about him!

i absolutely need to reiterate: at no point in part 2 does sakura display any sense of entitlement to sasuke. she always pleads with him to stay, rather than demanding anything of him. and even in the privacy of her own thoughts, sakura ponders bringing sasuke back in a few contexts: she wants sasuke to be okay, she is so sorry for burdening naruto, she needs to help naruto, and if sasuke comes back, they can all be a team again. romance does not even enter her mind. it is such a willfully egregious misread of the text to say that she only wanted sasuke back so they could be together.

moreover, it is honestly just nonsensical to me when people say sakura wanted sasuke as a prize, because it laughs in the face of her entire character arc and completely ignores why her pre-series crush existed at all. back then, sakura wanted sasuke as a status symbol. as of part 2, though, he is decidedly not what konoha's society would see as the ideal man. in the eyes of the state, he is a wanted criminal. sakura, meanwhile, is a student of the hokage, one of the most skilled medics in konoha at the ripe age of 16, and one of the most powerful shinobi of her generation (a feat achieved entirely through her own labour). she has stood next to her teammates in battle and helped take down a literal god. she does not need sasuke to feel fulfilled. nevertheless, she chooses, every day, to care about him, even though it would be infinitely easier not to. and if sakura wanted to haul around a status symbol in the form of a boyfriend, if only to bolster her already impressive profile (which she would not. that's the point!) -- naruto, konoha's new favourite traumatized teenager, is like. right there. but sakura loved naruto before he was proclaimed a hero by konoha, just like she continues to love sasuke even though he is very far from the coolest boy in their class.

my feelings on chapter 699 are... mixed, because the way things resolve for sasuke is just so sad, but what we see play out between him and sakura is: 1. sakura asks to come with him 2. sasuke is 100% comfortable saying no (how do the "sakura forced sasuke to be with her" truthers reconcile with that one, lol) 3. sakura appears mildly disappointed but like. she'll survive. that's it. then he thanks her, taps her on the forehead (but promises he'll see her soon, in an inversion of what that gesture meant from itachi), and we leave them in a pretty hopeful place, all things considered. there's room for reconciliation, for growth, for love. (and i don't want to hear about post-699 because i don't care. i don't consider it canon, and pretty much no one on tumblr does either, except to occasionally shit on ships they don't like)

this ended up being way too long, but i want to say: if you don't like sasusaku, that's your prerogative. i'm not here to change your mind. i certainly think they should have been written better in part 2 (but i'd argue that, like, 99% of those issues are just a natural consequence of sakura being continually sidelined by the narrative, rather than problems inherent to the relationship itself). regardless, i think too often people let their opinion of a ship impede character analysis. to claim that sakura relentlessly propositioned sasuke and that she saw him as a prize does such a huge disservice to how much she has grown and what she has accomplished over the course of the series.

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[luvfy0dor]

incest and pedophilia isn't sexy