#I have friends ig
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Hm te whole not having any close friends thing is catching up to me
#I have friends ig#but I’m the last several years there’s only been one person I hang out with#and they’ve moved so I literally haven’t seen other people in months#outside of work#and I’m just now realizing this is sorta detrimental to my whole mental health situation#it’s easier to get out of the house if there’s people expecting uou#it’s so much harder to be the only one motivating you to do things#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#text post#but idk who yk ask to hang out or what we’d even do#I really only know two people in the area and they have work and lots going on and lots of other people#lol I hate when people are dramatic abt not having many friends but also#I’m at a tricky time too where i don’t want to go forming any deep bonds before I move in three months
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Drew this real quick because I fucking love these two so much ???? Especially Bee. I wish they interacted more so badly. PLEASE.
Also learning how to draw these guys.. slowly.
#IT WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME HOW DELIGHTED B GOT ??? FOR VIOLENCE?#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#like okay you have d17/megatron okay#d17 got consumed by vengeance. iconic of him. you SEE him grow more ruthless/ violent........AND THEN YOU HAVE B 127#he got knife hands for 0.00937 seconds and immediately KILLED PEOPLE SO EASILY IM SCREAMING SDJKJSDS#did by accident and then did it gleefully. AND SO WELL TOO LIKE ???? bro got that hunger for violence ig. got that delight.#i wish we got to see d17 and b127 interact more cause imagine b got his knife hands early and d17 was like.... alright start stabbing#and b127 is LONELY. mf is deprived of interaction and CLEARLY clingy. i see him telling d17 to stand down so he isn't hurt.#not necessarily because he has the SAME morals as orion/optimus#like look me in my eye. tell me if d17 didn't say something like “needing an ally not a leader” (friendship bait)#AND UR TELLING ME BEE WOULDN'T FOLD AND HELP HIM? HM? HMMMMMMMM?#like i feel like b's morals are mostly match whoever he's around. if he was around d-17 more? WELP? let's assassinate together bestie!#anyways optimus and elita gotta watch b fr cause mf is already an incredible ally on the battle field SDKJKDSS#like just tell him where to go and that place would DESTROYED. NO WITNESSEES LEFT. LIKE HELLO#transformers one my beloved#d 16#megatron#tf one#tf one megatron#tf one b 127#b 127#transformers one fanart#never know how many actual tags to use istg.#imagine being isolated for years and all that shit went down like what is going on in b's brain rn. mf got 3 friends and then lost one#SO QUICKLY
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like in a haze
#genshin impact#kaedahara kazuha#kazuha#kazuha fanart#genshin fanart#kaedahara kazuha’s friend#tomo#illustration#digital art#ngl im having so much fun slapping these textures on literally everything#idk why i’m so compelled to draw these two rn but it’s all i wanna do so#companion piece to my prev piece ig
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More of Stanley's sketchbook because he makes me sick /pos
(Just imagine he was looking in a mirror at the subway to draw this anshfhwj. The london bus ticket is unrelated, it's just a random knick knack he had lying around<3)
People weren't the only ones Stan met on the streets.
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+ this is an absolute fucking batshit WILD oneshot I initially wrote for these drawings that got WAY out of hand, if you feel like reading that.
The oneshot below is a stand-alone now, and in no way is related to the drawings above, but I just wanted to show you guys because Jesus Christ
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Winter of 1981, at a subway station Stan doesn't remember the name of-
The sorry excuse of a transport system that this hellhole of a city called a functioning subway was hardly anyone's first choice of a warm place to stay the night. And yet, here Stanley was; standing like an idiot in the middle of a small bustling stairwell that led down to the full screeching chaos of a train stop on a Tuesday evening. A rowdy crowd of exhausted office workers streamed out like a tidal wave from the entrance of the station, the bustle of their footsteps all too eager to go home and relax after a long day of work.
The faint, stuffy stench of old piss and sweat followed the crowd to the surface from the deep depths of a less than sanitary and overcrowded train station. The pungent smell intermingled with the crisp stinging winter air in a cocktail of shitty city gloom often associated with this time of the year; when the holidays were too far away and the sun seemed to come and go with practically the same 9 to 5 schedule as the workers had, leaving them going to work in the pitch dark and coming back out in the inky black as well.
He might have looked like he belonged there, depending on how one would want to look at it. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the sea of prim, pressed suits and neart uniforms. His ratty old jacket and generally unwashed appearance certainly didn’t help his case, but he also knew that stations like these also tended to shelter quite a number of homeless wanderers like him, especially during the winter. So, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see other sore thumbs seeking reprieve from the biting cold and the dangerous likelihood of frostbite from within the enclosed walls of the subway station.
Heck, if most of these underground kingdoms didn't also happen to be a breeding ground for several illicit activities, he might even have followed their lead. But, believe it or not, Stanley's already had enough experience with illegal activities to last him a last time, and he isn't looking for a new fill. He was satisfied with what meager shelter his trusty car offered him, as little a difference it might make in terms of safety.
Stanley's obstruction of the already narrow stairs with his loitering went unappreciated, as shoulders roughly shoved past him and swinging briefcases repeatedly bumped into his sides, usually coupled with a nasty glare and a snide comment or two. He paid them no mind, however. He wasn't here to start a fight with some random bum with a dead end job, as much as he thought it would probably do them both some good to duke their stresses out on one another.
The hours ticked by with wave after wave of new crowds being dropped off by a train and left to pour out of the station into the streets. By the time the streetlights turned on and the pale pink in the sky slowly faded to make way for the stark glittery black of the night sky, the tide of people had slowed to a trickle and rush hour was long since over. He was now the stairs’ sole occupier, with a few occasional stragglers stumbling up the steps and hurrying past him without a second glance.
Stanley did not move from his spot, however. He stood resolutely in the middle of the stairway, fervently rubbing his arms and stamping his feet in a futile attempt to try and regain feeling in his extremities as he waited. Rocking on his heels, he titled his head backwards to let his eyes roam the constellations that carpeted the endless expanse of the sky stretched out above his head, almost losing himself in the scintillating canvas of stars.
It reminded him of old times; of the sparkling beach sand twinkling in the dim moonlight, and the soft sound of lilting waves hovering in the background as he lay back on the cold wooden deck of his ship and watched the stars dance.
He still remembered every name his brother had once recited to him time and time again as he pointed out each star and galaxy from the night sky.
Then, like clockwork, he was broken out of his reveries by a telltale meow coming from below. The sound was a familiar blanket that immediately melted away the tension that had begun to build in his chest as he practically sagged with relief.
His body moved almost automatically as he leaned down to detach the frail tabby cat that was attempting to literally fuse with his legs, purring up a storm and rubbing her head against his pants as though her life depended on it. The cat gave a soft chirrup of dissatisfaction at being manhandled, which Stanley absentmindedly replied with a chiding click of his tongue as he lifted her up his chest and gently tucked her into his jacket in a practiced motion.
She thankfully remained blissfully limp in his grasp as he shifted around some more so that she was nestled comfortably inside the dark pocket of warmth inside his ratty jacket. The tiny warm lump that rumbled contently against his front radiated with heat, and his fingers finally began to feel like actual fingers rather than useless stiff frigid lumps of meat and bone attached to his palms.
A pointed cough startled him from his clumsy wriggling to get the cat to settle down. An oddly familiar security guard stood at the entrance of the station at the bottom of the stairs, leveling Stanley an unimpressed look with the metal gate in his grip already halfway closed, ready to seal the subway for the night. He must have been a comical sight; caught awkwardly bent over while trying to get his newly acquired cat to stop kneading biscuits on his stomach, with said cat peeking out from the gap between his collars.
Stanley faintly recognized the guard. He was a much older man, with a shock of thinning white hair neatly tucked underneath a dark blue cap and a strange depth in his eyes that reminded Stanley of the sea; with countless unspoken truths lurking far beneath the surface, but no less grand and knowing of all that the universe had to offer, as though he had already lived a thousand lives before this one.
He had seen the man around before, at another station, doing the opposite of his job by ushering stray buskers and homeless stragglers from the streets and into the (relatively) safe walls of the subway, instead of doing what any other law-abiding security guard would do and kick them out into the elements. He wasn't sure what the older man was doing here, of all places, since all the previous stations he'd seen the man at had been several states over, practically on the other side of the country.
A brief spark of panic shot through his spine at the thought that this man could be following him, but he quickly discarded the ridiculous notion as soon as it entered his mind. He had never even seen him before, and hardly ever even interacted with him; there was no reason for there to be any sort of bad blood between them. Unless he happened to be related to one of Stanley's many, many enemies, then perhaps his fear was a little warranted.
However, the old guard made no move to attack or do anything other than stare judgmentally, almost expectantly. For the first time in a long time, Stanley felt like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. He tried his best to keep his uncomfortable squirming to a minimum under the unrelenting gaze, stubbornly returning the man's gaze with his own wary glare. His cat’s muffled whining came from inside his jacket. The traitor, she was leaving him to deal with the old man on his own.
With an exasperated jerk of his head, the security guard gestured towards the inside of the station. For a moment, Stanley stared dumbly, uncomprehending of what the old man could possibly want from him. Rolling his eyes, this time the man gestured more insistently at the small gap that still remained between the metal gate and the entrance, his arm sweeping the air in a low arc as he dramatically urged Stanley inside. Suddenly, it clicked, and Stanley shook his head.
“I have a car,” he said plainly, his voice echoing loudly in the desolate silence of the winter night that surrounded the unlikely pair.
He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, it wasn't as though he was lying. He did have a car, his trusty Stanley-mobile was parked safely away in the corner of an unassuming alley that wasn't often frequented by anyone. There was no way he was reaching it tonight, though; it was practically on the other side of the city, much too far away for him to arrive at a reasonable time. His nightly excursions to meet his small friend unfortunately left him with no other choice than to leave his car behind, the hunk of metal far too unwieldy and noticeable to drive around openly on the streets. He never knew who could be watching, after all.
He had simply been hoping to find himself a dark corner to tuck himself into with his cat, just for the night, but it seemed as though the universe had other plans. Or rather, this strange old man had other plans.
Although, if Stanley thought about it, the subway wasn't such a bad suggestion. This was one of the safer stations in the city; and with the rich neighborhoods being so close by, no rogue criminal or dealers dared to come near this area unless they wanted to be slapped with a hefty fine or face a higher potential to be arrested. And of course, there was the obvious shelter from the unrelenting cold that now seemed to permeate his bones, even with the purring warmth that was nestled inside his jacket.
So, that was how he found himself hunkering down for the night inside a shabby old subway station, with a satisfied cat still rumbling away against his chest and a strange old security guard locking down the gates behind him. The man said nothing as he hooked his keys back onto his belt and gave a firm pat on Stanley's shoulders as he walked past him, pausing to scratch his cat behind her ears before moving away. His footsteps bounced off of the grimy tiled walls with an odd reverb as he turned a corner.
“You'll be safe in here,” the man said, voice sage and gravelly. The words had a weight to them, and seemed to hang in the air with such a presence it was as though the old man had never even left his side.
The subway was empty, quiet. It was such a stark contrast to the loud rowdiness of the rush hour crowd these halls once held. Stanley hadn't yet registered the utter silence of the station as he aimlessly made his way down the winding, deserted halls of the ancient station. He mindlessly walked past the aged and peeling advertising posters plastered on the walls, his nose becoming accustomed to the stinging stench of the subway. The quiet seemed to swallow the sound of his steps as he explored the branching paths and endless tunnels. They were almost kaleidoscopic, dizzying, nonsensical. There were doors where there shouldn't be, and deadends where it didn't make sense.
The silence only began to truly settle in his bones the more he walked. He suddenly wished that he would head the telltale footsteps of the old security guard again, just to hear another sign of life in this underground hellscape other than himself. The ghostly memories of screeching trains and bustling crowds haunted the halls; now, only nothingness reigned supreme. He glanced down at his small feline companion, who slumbered away against his chest, blissfully unaware of his jackrabbiting heartbeat threatening to burst out of his ribs. The silence seemed to permeate every inch of space and crush the air out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe.
Stanley’s steps grew faster, more frantic as the walls and ceilings seemed to close in on him. They grew smaller, tighter; squeezing, trapping. He hardly even registered his cat's complaints as she was jostled around in his grasp, breaking into a full out run. His breathing sounded loud, too loud, and the world was collapsing around him.
When he finally broke out into a large, open platform, he could finally breathe again. He had arrived at the tracks, the empty tunnel where the trains would pass an empty, gaping maw in the wall that seemed to swallow all light around it and beckon him closer. He felt his cat wriggle out from within his jacket and hop out with a displeasured yowl, scampering away and disappearing behind a corner much like the old man had. True silence pierced his ears and thrummed like a deafening pressure in his temples. He was alone.
Stanley was stuck in that subway station for years.
#i only have the Paris and Korean subways as frame reference so i have no idea what american subways look like#just imagine the paris subway system- i heavily used it as a reference to draw and write these since it's#the only subway that I know AND looks 1980-ish enough to pass#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls au#<-ig???#there are mirrors in subways right- I've seen a lot of curved wall length mirrors at subway stations#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanley's sketchbook#tw liminal space#tw horror#<- I mean eh- my horror writing skills is sub par at best#cats#tw scopophobia#tw staring#on the other hand- stanley being friends with street cats!! so cute <33#you can visibly SEE in the fic where I completely lost my grip on the story from 'sweet story about cats' to 'oh my god what the fuck'#my art
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plethoras of random stuff ive drawn before i fully commit to unuversiyty
#i wanna say that the catboy grim is inspired by izutsumi dunmeshi but its. Not.#the actual inspo was old man yaoi fanart#.#pls ignore if charlies and pims deisgns are off cause i just drew the from memory#i dont think i have naything funny to say. sorry.#srs tags ig#twst#twst fanart#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst grim#twst oc#twst yuu#twst mc#smiling friends#charlie smiling friends#smiling friends pim#twst ruggie#ruggie bucchi#kalim al asim#twst kalim#twst jamil#jamil viper#epel felmier#twst epel#lilia vanrouge#silver#twst lilia#twst silver#my art
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
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Living with a disability, especially a progressive or dynamic one is so fucking stressful. I don't know whether I'll be able to do things I can do now in a couple of years or even a couple of months. Maybe today I'm up and dancing but tomorrow I can barely leave my bed. I'm already grieving the things I know I won't be able to do in the future and it's so, so so so hard. The worst part is that there's nothing you can do but try to enjoy life right now and hope you can keep doing what you love
#not to vent on main but this week has been hard for me#at least i have anime#and yall my friends and irl moots have been very supportive#ig my fam is supportive in their own way#seeing another specialist in a couple weeks hopefully we can make some progress#still worried i won't be able to perform if I don't have more accommodations#vent#vent post#disability#disabled#heds#potsie#pots#mcas#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobile ehlers danlos#the holy trinity of chronic illnesses#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue
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random lil factoids from the muppets abc.
-Kermit told piggy that airlines serve pre-flight calzones and got a calzone to her on who knows how many of her flights bc he--rightfully--thought she wouldn't fly w/o them / if she found out they weren't a thing
-floyd believes the earth revolves around the moon which creates winter (but also believes the moon doesn’t exist)
-Robin's ~30 yrs old, just still tiny
-piggy once somehow accidentally performed at a dictator’s bday party and he was so pissed he decimated a city. she and kermit only survived bc they hid in his pile of stolen art
-uncle deadly has apparently banged Gloria estefan
-on the farm where piggy grew up, pigs who got injured were taken away; over the yrs she saw her former friends and family served at bbqs and butcher shops
-scooter goes "whee!" every time he rides an escalator
-janice participated in building a wicker man
-uncle deadly has woven such a web of lies around piggy that she doesn’t know her dress size or age
-kermit hates pumpkin spice shit as much as the next guy
-animal can't handle life on the road bc he ends up laying too much pipe
#just me being dumb#the muppets#the muppets abc#feel free to add more ig#but most ppl don't love this show like i do#it just drops a lot of random character tidbits so#the urge to rewatch this show is such a painful thing#bc every time I see clips of it I wanna rewatch but know it’ll just end in me reliving the realization of it not having a 2nd season#also lil bonus here in the tags bc i'm done adding to this post but#jack white is supposedly good friends w/ kermit but didn't know he could drive lol
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#childhood friends au but make it freak 4 freak#what could have been#and sometimes is ig. on ao3#i just think it’s interesting#to like strip them of the animosity but leave the like#intensity and mutual preoccupation#they r so subnormal#their vibe is flash photography#like Ik what I’m saying will only make sense to me but they are so flash foto slightly wet#harry potter#draco malfoy#drarry#draco x harry#harry x draco#hp fanart#hpdm#harco
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— 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬.
and the smell of camphor dancing in the wind.
✦ info: he didn't know he'd lose you so soon. (come back, please. even if it is just for five more minutes.)
✦ featuring: alhaitham.
✦ warnings: angst, character death (reader), heartache, 1.2k words, somewhat proof-read.
✦ notes: i cried so goddamn hard writing this. why is my first work after hiatus pain. why did i pick up the angst wip. but!! i'm writing again, so that's good. (more notes at the end.)
he didn’t know that it was your last day together.
he didn’t know that the smile you gave him that afternoon, your eyes sparkling like sunlight upon the serene waves of the ocean, would be the last he’d ever see. that the playful light in your gaze would fade so very soon, slipping through his fingers like sand.
he didn’t know that last night would be the last time he held you close while you drifted off to sleep. he didn’t know that today would be the last time he’d wake up with you.
he didn’t think he’d lose you like this.
he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to save you from that blow.
“please, please,” he begs, both to you and to whatever force that is just barely holding you together. “just stay with me for five more minutes, please. until i can get you somewhere.”
the rain soaks him to the bone, clothes and hair sticking to his skin. your lips stay motionless, eyes shut.
“wake up, please,” he bargains. “you can have all the five minutes of extra sleep you want later, i promise. just—” his vision blurs, and something shines on the ground before it is gone, swallowed by damp earth, lost amidst drops of falling rain.
desperately, he tears off parts of his traveling cloak to staunch the bleeding. deep inside, he knows it is futile. he knows your wound is too great. he knows what lies ahead. but he cannot help but press the cloths to your wound and pray.
please, please tell me it’ll be okay.
please stay with me, beloved. i’ll read you all the books in the world. i’ll sleep in with you everyday, even if we end up whiling away our time.
please. stay. stay with me. i can’t lose you yet.
“— just wake up, beloved.”
by some miracle, your eye flutters. just a bit. just enough to set hope ablaze, just enough for the grip on his heart to loosen a tiny bit. he buries his face in your shoulder, resting his head against your neck, uncaring of the blood that stains his clothes. your blood. on his clothes. his hands. everywhere.
no. no. this can’t be happening.
he feels you strain beneath him, your unwounded arm gently, weakly brushing his back. he jolts upright, eyes trained on your face. you send a frail smile his way. he clasps your face softly as you nuzzle into his palm.
“alhaitham—”
his full name. archons, how long has it been since you called him that?
“— take good care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, chest heaving, your fingertips touching a tear on his cheeks. “i love you. so much.”
those are the last words he hears fall from your lips. he presses a kiss to your forehead, to your eyelids, and to your cheeks and to your lips, over and over and over until he feels your breath slow, hoping they’ll say what he knows he cannot manage to choke out.
i love you.
he stays there next to you for who knows how long, holding you until the rain slows and a faint rainbow smiles in the sky.
until he can’t smell camphor anymore.
—
every person has their curiosities.
they’re just the little traits that set them apart from others, the things that make them tick just a little bit differently, the things that make them, them.
for instance, someone may be obsessed with collecting tiny furniture, while another eats the crusts off their sandwich before actually consuming it. someone may have an affinity for the most niche aspects of linguistics, while another can accurately predict the next raindrop that slides down a window pane.
after all, no two people are exactly alike, are they?
alhaitham knows he’s got his fair share of these curiosities himself. his aversion to soup and all things that resemble it, to name one. and with you, he’d noticed two things.
number one: the scent of camphor that seems to linger on every inch of your person.
he’d caught whiff of it almost immediately the first time you met. you were but one of his juniors in the akademiya, filled with bright-eyed curiosity and anxiety to match. you had tripped over a stair and bumped into his table in the library, bringing the mountain of books in your arms crashing down.
and with subsequent coincidental meetings, he learnt that the subtle scent of camphor dancing in the air meant you weren’t far away.
you were, unfortunately, one of the poor souls who seemed to be cursed with constantly recurring minor illnesses, and almost always walked about with a stuffy nose. and so, you always carried a small disc of camphor in a handkerchief, as well as in your pocket.
you swore up and down, left, right and center that sniffing the vapors helped make breathing easier.
‘it’s my grandmother’s remedy, alhaitham! camphor always works wonders. well, that and eucalyptus oil.”
alhaitham may not know the validity of your claim or the legitimacy of the cure, but he knew to never, ever question a grandmother’s remedy. that, and he’d much rather refrain from starting a back-and-forth about something so small.
and number two: your neverending pleas of different variations of ‘just five more minutes!’
“five more minutes, ‘haitham. please.” you’d whine grumpily when he woke you up to start your day. “let me sleep in for five more minutes.”
“five more minutes, habibi,” you’d ask when he put down the story you’d requested he read out to you before bedtime. “read me the part where she finds the music box?”
“five more minutes, baby,” is what you’d tell him when he asks how much longer you’d take getting ready. “you can’t rush perfection!”
those five more minutes were never five minutes long.
but he’d always, always indulged you and those pleading eyes of yours. as stoic as he appeared to be, you lived in his heart. of course he could never deny you anything under the sun.
—
alhaitham remembers that silly little song you sang over and over, the one you’d learnt from a kid in the bazaar. he’d taken you to see one of nilou’s performances, and, friendly soul that you were, you’d struck up a conversation with some of the eager audience members before the play.
“oh, how i wish i was a bird flying free,
i’d see the world, every mountain and every sea!
oh, how i wish i was a cloud in the sky,
wouldn’t you like to wave to me as i pass by?”
you’d hum that rhyme on every idle afternoon.
loss is inevitable. he knows that, with how logical and rational and straightforward he is. he’d lost his parents, but he was far too young to remember. he’d lost his grandmother, but she passed in her sleep of old age, serene and wise.
but you? he didn’t think you’d leave him this soon. a singular wish sits in his soul, making its home in his bones.
a wish that you’d come back, somehow.
he wishes you gave him five more minutes, just as he always did. but he knows that you could’ve given him five more hours, five more days, five more years and five more decades and it would still not be enough time spent with you.
a blue feathered bird comes to perch on his shoulder, interrupting his musings just as he raises his face to the sky. he sees the heart shaped cloud that floats idly above sumeru city.
he thinks of the rhyme again, and something in him tells him to wave. and so he does. a scent so familiar lingers, faintly brushing his nose in the wind that picks up.
“alhaitham, it's time to go.” kaveh calls his name softly.
alhaitham doesn't move. “five more minutes,” he says, echoing your favorite phrase. “i smell camphor in the breeze.”
✦ extra notes: my alhaitham characterization for this fic stems from how i believe that when alhaitham is attached, he's attached. so i focused more on that, and less of all that rationality and whatnot. this one loves deeply, yk?
that camphor thing is a real grandma remedy in our household (my mom would tie some in a hanky and put some under my pillow and still to this day reminds me to do it when i'm sick) which is what originally sparked the idea for this
when i'd initially started this wip, i didn't expect it go this way. usually i write with my brain, but i think i wrote this one with my fingers working faster than i can think hsjhsj so sorry if it's kinda out of place lmao but yk what? i'm happy with it still even though i feel like it doesn't have my usual quality.
thanks for reading.
#—🖋#・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#astronetwrk#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#alhaitham x you#genshin x you#emotional blabbering ahead in the tags beware#this is hitting me in a place i didn't know existed hjsjs#like. i haven't lost anyone but i have lost my life as i know it?#this past year was full of so many endings and i've been struggling in some way everyday#like i didn't know that the last time i saw my friends would truly be the last time we ever saw each other#i didn't know that i'd be bidding goodbye to my parents as i left home through an airport#ANYWAY ENOUGH DUMPING. ig i'm just telling you to hug the people you love tighter and cherish every moment you spend with them#time goes by really quickly and you don't know where it'll go#ily guys#ew barf feelings </3 /j
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my attempt at small comics to make my friend understand svsss better. (no idea if it's working). (probably not).
#luo binghe#luo bingmei#luo bingge#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#white lotus binghe#svsss#scum villain#bingqiu#art#scum villian self saving system#mxtx#she's gonna learn guys- dw#I need to work on simplified designs but this works for now ig#also binghe has his hair over his eye cuz cartoon logic and it's hiding the demon mark 😶🌫️#not gonna try to explain cultivation and seals to my friend rn if I want to have a chance!
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do you think operator & drifter treat their warframes wildly differently?
somewhat insufficient TLDR: i think the operator and drifter are emotionally attached but in vastly, strikingly different ways, and it manifested very, very differently too.
in operator's case, it isn't that they dont *care*, but they know how durable a warframe is. they know they can take one hell of a hit, and they'll be okay because that warframe takes the brunt of it (albeit with some phantom pain if the damage is bad enough). theyre less comfortable outside the confines of those large, bulky war machines because they know they're ultimately safe. those warframes can take hits. they cannot. the operator knows they were people, but they never met those people before the tragedy. besides... a lot of them really are just empty shells. they're hardly the people they once were, especially since they recreated those warframes from blueprints. don't get me wrong, they do remember the anguish of the originals - they were there, they lived it, and they still have empathy for them... but the operator knows the limits of every warframe like the back of their hand - they can maneuver however they want, they can take hits, they can run into armies and not be too afraid because they (as in the operator and the warframe this time) be fine. even if the warframe is damaged, they can fix the damage, so no harm done.
but drifter on the other hand? at first i think they never really realised the power they had. in their mind they were still them, just running, rolling on the occasion, it took them ages to maneuver those things *properly*, and probably only ever really learned with the operator's guidance. they would not let a warframe take a hit, not because they felt empathy for it (at least not a lot, last i checked you kind of need at least *some* to have effective transference?) but because they were so used to walking around vulnerable. yknow, not inside a killing machine. but what would've really solidified the difference was after they went to 1999. sure, hearing that these things used to be people is one thing, but at the end of the day, to drifter, they're still just machines. drifter never got to experience what the tenno did, they never had to deal with reaching into their freshly scarred minds to ease their anger, sorrow, fear, rein them in like the terrified animals they were turning into and hush their cries with understanding - they only knew the dead inside remnants... but it's an entirely other thing when you go to the past and see the people who were hurt. you meet them and you get to know them, become their best friends - maybe even date one of them - and it hit drifter like a fuckin' freight train. they have this entirely different view on warframes from that cold perspective they had at first. they weren't just war machines. those are people. every time they go into the head of those machines, they're looking through the eyes of *people.* people who had families and desires and hobbies, things they looked forward to, entire futures ahead of them that were snuffed out. people who were scared, people who didn't know what was happening. people who knew what was happening, who lived in fear knowing they weren't able to stop it... people who lived in fear of losing themselves. and i think it hit drifter a lot harder than they'd ever admit.
but thats not to say one of them is more attached than the other - both of them care deeply about their warframes. it's just that, they have different ways of looking at them. after all their experiences were so vastly different, it'd be impossible to look at them the same way.
(too lazy to type it out all over, but i have an example in the tags i think kinda helps pull it together more)
#i hope i worded operator's part correctly#because i dont want to be saying like#oh the operator doesnt care#they see them as just tools#because thats not what i mean#its hard for me to explain#the operator loves them too#but its like... when you sympathize with people you dont know.#you hear of a tragedy that happened to a stranger#and you feel sorrow. but not the same amount as if it happened to a friend. you dont feel that encompassing sickness.#the operator did meet them.. kind of#but it was only remnants. people whos minds were lost to the infestation and were going nuts#the drifter though?#they got to know the people after theyd been warframe-ified but who still had their minds.#they were still... them.#mostly.#and the blanks. the things that were lost and the drifter wouldnt have known on their own. were filled in by **their friends.**#and ig i think the drifter mightve seen themselves too. what with being alone and scared. fearing youll lose yourself#but i wasnt sure how to include that in the post itself#but yeah thats my yapping#hope it made sense#✛ posts#warframe#warframe 1999#warframe 1999 spoilers#wf 1999#warframe community#warframe the drifter#warframe drifter#warframe the operator
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how to communicate Hey youre cool and i would love to be your friend but unfortunately there is something wrong with me where as soon as i start actively maintaining more than 3-5 relationships (depending on my current stress level) i enter Distress Mode and start considering throwing my phone in the river and dropping out and moving to a rural area whenever i get a text. which is why i have ghosted you for the past week. sorry.
#i speak#and two of those are reserved for my best friends so like. girl who is cursed to never have long term friendships ig
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happy birthday to the god of time 🥳
#couldnt help but think about dave turning 29 and being like... my days (with karkat) are limited#like ya he loves his friends but he and they are all gods#daves thoughts -> he will have forever to celebrate bdays with them but only a few years left with karkat in the grand scheme of things#sorry i love just adding a touch of millennial depression to these 90s kids#post-game au ig#anyway dw about dave karkat always knows what to do/say#homestuck#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#happy birthday dave#hsfanart#my art
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of course i finally finish this after they have new outfits
#critical role#ashton greymoore#orym of the air ashari#orym#ashrym#cr3#bells hells#the human spirit is incredible. haven't looked at this for MONTHS and now suddenly got thr motivation to finish it#oh well....ig i will draw new one with their updated outfits#sorry i haven't been sharing as much art#i *have* been drawing just. for myself and friends :']
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the thing is it's such a shame marius never went back after the whole defending-napoleon-fiasco bc I genuinely think enjolras likes him. and that he genuinely thinks he has potential in an 'he's a little confused but he's got the spirit', 'i could work with this' sort of way. like yeah he's a very serious sort of guy w strongly held beliefs but his behavior (to me at least) really reads like was interested to have him around & develop his politics. like in the post-napoleon-speech scene when combeferre has had his really good line & the rest of them have all walked out of the room & he stays behind:
and:
the 'gazing gravely at him', the staying behind, the hand on his shoulder, they don't read to me like he has any dislike towards marius even if he obviously doesn't agree w what he's said, he seems like he understands marius' confusion. he's not giving any ground politically but he's interested in marius. a sort of 'missed the mark this time but let's try again' thing. and then way later (chronologically) he's still obviously thinking of marius in this bit & seems to genuinely think he'd do a good job & regrets that he never came back:
unfortunately I don't think marius picks up on any of that though
#i feel like courfeyrac probably tried to have the 'i promise they don't hate you forever and ever' talk with him but it didn't sink in.#thoughts#anyways i don't go in the tags but i feel like i still keep coming across this idea that enjolras hates marius just like. out in the wild#which idk where that comes from. like I'd blame the musical but they seem to be better friends in that so ???#i could be just reading it wrong too ig#Anyways again more to say on marius specifically in this chapter but my break is ending in just a minute so maybe after work#les mis
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